SHARED PARENTING SHARED PARENTING AND ATTACHMENTSAND ATTACHMENTS

Diane LojszczykDiane Lojszczyk

Manager Child Dispute ServicesManager Child Dispute Services

Newcastle RegistryNewcastle Registry

Shared Parenting and AttachmentsShared Parenting and Attachments

What is so important about attachment?What is so important about attachment? Outcomes of disrupted/insecure Outcomes of disrupted/insecure

attachmentsattachments Attachment and the development of Attachment and the development of

childrenchildren Shared Parenting ResearchShared Parenting Research Shared Parenting Research – Implications Shared Parenting Research – Implications

for Practicefor Practice

What is so important about What is so important about attachment?attachment?

Attachment is a deep and enduring Attachment is a deep and enduring connection/strong emotional bond connection/strong emotional bond between a child and his/her caregiver. It is between a child and his/her caregiver. It is usually established during the first few usually established during the first few years of life. years of life.

It is an ongoing reciprocal relationship. It is an ongoing reciprocal relationship. The quality of the interactions between the The quality of the interactions between the child and carers is critical to promoting child and carers is critical to promoting trusting and secure attachments trusting and secure attachments

What is so important about What is so important about attachment? (cont’d)attachment? (cont’d)

Attachment influences the child’s view of Attachment influences the child’s view of themselves and others.themselves and others.

Secure attachments provide children with Secure attachments provide children with a safe base to explore and increase a safe base to explore and increase opportunities for learningopportunities for learning

The quality of this relationship is one of the The quality of this relationship is one of the best predictors of optimal child best predictors of optimal child development and is associated with:development and is associated with:

What is so important about What is so important about attachment? (cont’d)attachment? (cont’d)

Development of healthy self esteemDevelopment of healthy self esteem Language development, Language development, cognitive development, cognitive development, school success, school success, behavioural adjustment, behavioural adjustment, ability to form healthy and trusting ability to form healthy and trusting

relationships andrelationships and ability to develop problem solving skills ability to develop problem solving skills

Outcomes of disrupted/insecure Outcomes of disrupted/insecure attachmentsattachments

Difficulties forming relationships with peers Difficulties forming relationships with peers and adultsand adults

Increased risks for developing behavioural Increased risks for developing behavioural problemsproblems

Deficits in empathy (evident at a young Deficits in empathy (evident at a young age)age)

Lower academic competenceLower academic competence

Outcomes of disrupted/insecure Outcomes of disrupted/insecure attachments (cont’d)attachments (cont’d)

Higher levels of hostility and aggressionHigher levels of hostility and aggression Low self esteemLow self esteem Lack of self controlLack of self control Intergenerational problems with promoting Intergenerational problems with promoting

secure attachments with their own childrensecure attachments with their own children Risk taking behavioursRisk taking behaviours

Attachment and the Development Attachment and the Development of Childrenof Children

0-1 year olds need predictable parenting and 0-1 year olds need predictable parenting and secure knowledge that their needs will be met. secure knowledge that their needs will be met. Begin to be attached at 3 months and Begin to be attached at 3 months and demonstrate attachment at 8 months. They demonstrate attachment at 8 months. They detect feelings in their primary carers. detect feelings in their primary carers.

1-2 years speech and thoughts predominantly 1-2 years speech and thoughts predominantly egocentric. They begin to learn a sense of self. egocentric. They begin to learn a sense of self. Model parents’ and others’ behaviours - may Model parents’ and others’ behaviours - may have poor relationships with peers. have poor relationships with peers.

Attachment and the Development Attachment and the Development of Childrenof Children (cont’d)(cont’d)

Infants primary drive is towards attachment not Infants primary drive is towards attachment not safety so they will accommodate to the parenting safety so they will accommodate to the parenting style they experience.style they experience.

Children can make sense of their experiences by Children can make sense of their experiences by believing the situation is their fault and they are believing the situation is their fault and they are inherently bad.inherently bad.

3-5 years See the world entirely from their own 3-5 years See the world entirely from their own perspective therefore if parents are fighting they perspective therefore if parents are fighting they feel they are the cause. Anxious about basic feel they are the cause. Anxious about basic needs being met and abandonment.needs being met and abandonment.

Attachment and the Development Attachment and the Development of Childrenof Children (cont’d)(cont’d)

6-11 years Fear of losing both parents. 6-11 years Fear of losing both parents. Becoming more independent. Developing Becoming more independent. Developing self confidence and self esteem. self confidence and self esteem. Conflicted loyalties often present. Conflicted loyalties often present.

Adolescents - importance of peer Adolescents - importance of peer relationships and other activities. Often relationships and other activities. Often moving away from family. They will usually moving away from family. They will usually want to have a say.want to have a say.

Shared Parenting- ResearchShared Parenting- Research

Smyth (2004) viable arrangement for a small Smyth (2004) viable arrangement for a small group who self selected.group who self selected.

Characteristics for success:Characteristics for success: Geographical proximityGeographical proximity Ability of parents to co-operatively parentAbility of parents to co-operatively parent Child focussed arrangementsChild focussed arrangements

Shared Parenting- ResearchShared Parenting- Research

Smyth (2004) cont’dSmyth (2004) cont’d Commitment to making it workCommitment to making it work Family friendly work practices for both Family friendly work practices for both

parentsparents Financial comfortFinancial comfort Shared confidence that the father is a Shared confidence that the father is a

competent parentcompetent parent

Shared Parenting- ResearchShared Parenting- Research

McIntosh and Chisholm (2008) (non Court McIntosh and Chisholm (2008) (non Court based)based)

Identified what factors lead to poor Identified what factors lead to poor outcomes for childrenoutcomes for children

1. Fathers low level of formal education1. Fathers low level of formal education 2. High, on going inter-parental conflict2. High, on going inter-parental conflict 3. Children’s overnight care substantially 3. Children’s overnight care substantially

sharedshared

Shared Parenting- ResearchShared Parenting- Research

McIntosh and Chisholm (2008)McIntosh and Chisholm (2008) 4. Poor mother-child relationship4. Poor mother-child relationship 5. High acrimony ( psychological hostility) 5. High acrimony ( psychological hostility)

between parentsbetween parents 6. Child under 10 years (?due to the 6. Child under 10 years (?due to the

inability to cope with the conflict and inability to cope with the conflict and interplay with attachment issues)interplay with attachment issues)

Shared Parenting- ResearchShared Parenting- Research

Note - Children and fathers benefited from Note - Children and fathers benefited from shared care most when this occurred in an shared care most when this occurred in an environment of low acrimony and co-environment of low acrimony and co-operation with the other parent.operation with the other parent.

Note – Older children (over 10yr) in shared Note – Older children (over 10yr) in shared care who were not caught in high conflict care who were not caught in high conflict dynamics did not show evidence of poor dynamics did not show evidence of poor mental health outcomes.mental health outcomes.

Shared Parenting- ResearchShared Parenting- Research

McIntosh and Chisholm (2008) (Court McIntosh and Chisholm (2008) (Court based)based)

Five variables most highly associated with Five variables most highly associated with children’s poor mental health outcomes;children’s poor mental health outcomes;

1. The child was unhappy with their living 1. The child was unhappy with their living and care arrangementsand care arrangements

2. The parent’s relationship with the child 2. The parent’s relationship with the child had deteriorated post Courthad deteriorated post Court

Shared Parenting- ResearchShared Parenting- Research

3. The child lived in substantially shared 3. The child lived in substantially shared carecare

4. One parent held concerns about the 4. One parent held concerns about the child’s safety with the other parentchild’s safety with the other parent

5. The parents remained in high conflict5. The parents remained in high conflict

Shared Parenting- ResearchShared Parenting- Research

Other findings of interest (these findings are in line Other findings of interest (these findings are in line with other international studies):with other international studies):

28% in shared care going into Court and 46% in 28% in shared care going into Court and 46% in substantially shared care (5 nts/ftnt) on exitsubstantially shared care (5 nts/ftnt) on exit

70% of Ct orders by consent/30% judicial70% of Ct orders by consent/30% judicial 73% of parents ‘almost never’ co-operated with 73% of parents ‘almost never’ co-operated with

the other parent (In 4 cases parents ‘never’ had the other parent (In 4 cases parents ‘never’ had any sort of contact)any sort of contact)

39% of parents reported ‘never’ being able to 39% of parents reported ‘never’ being able to protect the child from parental conflict protect the child from parental conflict

Shared Parenting- ResearchShared Parenting- Research

““Cautionary Note”:Cautionary Note”: The data suggests that a significant The data suggests that a significant

proportion of these children emerged from proportion of these children emerged from Family Court proceedings with Family Court proceedings with substantially shared care arrangements substantially shared care arrangements that occurred in an atmosphere that that occurred in an atmosphere that placed psychological strain on the child. placed psychological strain on the child.

Shared Parenting- ResearchShared Parenting- ResearchImplications for PracticeImplications for Practice

These studies support the view that the These studies support the view that the children who do best are those who children who do best are those who maintain frequent time with both parents maintain frequent time with both parents who can co-operate and communicate who can co-operate and communicate

It is the quality of the relationships It is the quality of the relationships between parents, and between parents between parents, and between parents and children, that matters for children’s and children, that matters for children’s wellbeing. (Smyth 2008) wellbeing. (Smyth 2008)

Shared Parenting- ResearchShared Parenting- ResearchImplications for PracticeImplications for Practice

McIntosh and Chisholm (2008) McIntosh and Chisholm (2008) Caution about the recommendation of equal time Caution about the recommendation of equal time

for infants and young children (under 4 years)for infants and young children (under 4 years) There is a danger that children cannot develop There is a danger that children cannot develop

an experience of reliable care with one or other an experience of reliable care with one or other parent due to frequent moves, and the strain of parent due to frequent moves, and the strain of having to constantly monitor the ‘emotional having to constantly monitor the ‘emotional weather’ in both parents’ households. weather’ in both parents’ households.

ConclusionsConclusions

Need for more research - current research Need for more research - current research based on small samples so careful based on small samples so careful interpretation required.interpretation required.

Need to identify –what are the minimum Need to identify –what are the minimum conditions for an equal time arrangement, conditions for an equal time arrangement, whether highly conflicted parents are more whether highly conflicted parents are more likely to try a shared care arrangement, is likely to try a shared care arrangement, is a shared care arrangement always contra-a shared care arrangement always contra-indicated in high conflict matters indicated in high conflict matters

ConclusionsConclusions

In terms of attachment issues we need to be In terms of attachment issues we need to be cautious of shared care arrangements (even 5 cautious of shared care arrangements (even 5 nights a fortnight) with infants and young nights a fortnight) with infants and young children (especially under 4yrs and possibly up children (especially under 4yrs and possibly up to 10yrs). to 10yrs).

Research on shared care is less well established Research on shared care is less well established than that on attachment issues. than that on attachment issues.

Our practices must be informed by research. Our practices must be informed by research.