Sharing the Message Mar/Apr 2016 The Ozark Area Newsletter ozarkasc.com Vol. 3

Message from the PR Subcommittee!

STEP If you have any artwork, poems, events or birthdays that you would like to submit for the upcoming newsletter, or subscribe to receive this bi-monthly newsletter please let us know by contacting us at: 4ozarkareanewsletter@gmail.com

"Made a searching and fearless inventory of PLEASE NOTE: The opinions expressed herein are those of the individual contributor, and not the ourselves." Once I got to the fourth step, I was opinions of the Narcotics Anonymous as a whole. terrified. Not knowing what I was going to find The Handbook for Narcotics Anonymous states that: “The

out about myself was the scariest part. I prayed 12 Traditions of NA should serve as the basic guidelines for a lot about this step and spoke to my sponsor. editing your newsletter… the language of NA recovery

should be used.” This newsletter will be examined by our With the help of God and my sponsor, I was able Public Relations Subcommittee before it is distributed to

to be open minded and completely honest. ensure we are keeping in line with our traditions. We welcome any feedback in accordance with our traditions. Believing that the person I had lived as for so Please indicate if you would like that feedback published.

long was a demon; I found by working this step that I was not that demon. I found out who I

Disclaimers: truly am and even who I am not. This step gave 1. This PDF file requires Adobe Acrobat Reader, which is free to me insight to the changes I needed to make in my download, simple to install, and is provided as a courtesy by

attitudes and behaviors. I remember the feeling Adobe. If you need to obtain the Adobe Acrobat Reader program, we have provided a direct link to the website: that I had when I realized that I had never http://www.adobe.com/products/acrobat/readstep.html. We do written nor talked about many of my behaviors. not endorse or support Adobe or any other products, and we have no affiliation with them or any other entity. Please read the They had always just manifested in my mind for policies concerning the downloading of their software before years. The feeling I had was freedom and that's using their products.

what this step did for me. It gave me freedom 2. Any work submitted for the newsletter becomes property of

and it gave me new direction. the PR Subcommittee. We may make punctuation and grammar changes, but we will never alter the integrity of the work

In Loving Service submitted. Paige H. (Against All Odds)

Basic Text Quote! The ultimate weapon for recovery is the recovering addict. (Pg. 15, 6th Edition)

W I L L I N GN E S SLetting go of self I move toward the light, Allowing in a wave of peace and giving up the fight.

I a m H e r e B u t I a m N o tI didn’t know how truly sick I wasTill I surrendered to a spirit watching from above I am here but I am notIn the midst of chaos, I felt serene

The sun is out yet it feels so darkI learned what it meant to live my life clean

You are here and then you're notWillingness to try this one day at a timeAwakening to a life that could only be mine The music plays and then it stopsSo I cleaned up the wreckage and took a deep You speak to me then your notbreath

Our hearts beat then they stopI took some suggestions and avoided certain death

We are here but we are notThrough the ups and downs of life and The sky is clear so why do I feel the dropscircumstance

I learned to stand tall and move with life’s dance Because I am here and you are not.I watch those who still suffer and it tears me apart

Jennifer S.This disease knows no mercy and it breaks my weary heartA chance to live free, in bondage no moreI will never take for granted walking through that first doorI live and let live, with my hand always thereTo help the next person and show them I careFrom a spark my recovery has become a large smolderI am grateful for the chance to turn one year olderFrom willingness to desire and then onto passionI live this life to the fullest and in true recovery fashionTogether we do what no man can aloneBreathe hope into spirits adrift and find a place

called home.

Brenda M.Artwork by Leah J.

Clean Date: 8-4-14 Belly Button BDay: 8-7 Home Group: Fifth Tradition Favorite NA Slogan: Give yourself permission to recover.

My name is Lynnette and I just hit my 18 month mark; first time ever in all the years going in and out of the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous. I can honestly say this is the first time in all of my past attempts that I truly and honestly want to be clean. What a huge and amazing difference! I come from a family with a very long history of mental illness, addiction, and abuse. All these components add up to a whole lot of chaos, followed by a very cold and empty way of life. So here’s my story….

I was the kid in diapers sneaking the half drank can of beer down the hallway. I can’t really remember a time without the alcohol or drugs in my environment. I grew up believing that drugs and alcohol were a very natural and normal part of life. I was 11 years old when I snorted my first line and I was 19 when I unknowingly made a complete lifestyle change and an ongoing commitment to that needle. It wasn’t until my dad was indicted and me losing my girls to DFS for the second time that it had crossed my mind that there just might be an alternate way of life. As much as I wanted my girls, I couldn’t stay high and I couldn’t be not high.

I attempted to check myself into treatment numerous times in Springfield. However, every person I knew, every feeling I had and every decision I made were all very negative forces in my life. So, I went and told on myself that – that I just couldn’t stop and I needed to go to treatment somewhere else; and so my journey in Joplin began. I checked into a women’s treatment center. While I was there, I was presented with a different way of viewing things and a different way of living. I started having supervised visits with girls and during this time, I met one of the most amazing men of my life, John. He was my children’s foster parent and he loved my kids like they were his and he loved me and believed in me like a parent would.

I followed up my completion of treatment with a halfway house which at the time was called the Dare House. It was there that I had began to hear the message. From that point on, I knew in my heart of hearts that this is where or what I was gonna have to do to live or survive. “Through our inability to accept personal responsibility, we were actually creating our own problems.” So here was my problem: I knew NA was what was gonna save my life, but I resented all of it. I had encountered so many failed attempts at getting clean because I was doing to despite myself.

All of this was accompanied with long term abusive, sick relationships with men who never loved me. There was one relationship in particular that I had found myself doing things I never imagined I would – and the lows were worse and the depths were disturbing. It was here that I lost any kind of self-worth or self-respect. During this time, I had lost my kids for the fourth time and I had found a moment of clarity.

This was the time in my life there was a never ending feeling that time stood still and just completely filled with a haunting feeling of emptiness. Just wishing something would happen. Whether it be prison or death. I just wanted something to change. I remember kneeling over my daughter’s bed smoking a bowl with her and just literally bawling that I was tire, so tired.

It has taken me a few more attempts since then. Here is where the change for me happened. I heard the phrase, “Give yourself permission to recover.” It changed my life completely. I found a healthy fear of my disease and I took some suggestions. So to the addict who feels like they’re tired of trying or tired of picking up that white keytag, I would like to say to you that you matter and there is in fact an addict that needs to hear your story.

In loving service,

Lynnette B.

January / February Anniversaries

Patrick M. 10 yrs. Against All Odds Peggy S. 11 yrs. Laura D. 14 yrs. Vicki A. 14 yrs. Sandy B. 23 yrs. My name is Jocelyn and I’m an addict.

When I first came to Narcotics Anonymous I had Kim S. 1 yr. But Do It no trust in anything. I did not trust the people, Katie L. 1 ½ yr.

Dwayne S. 3 yrs. myself, the principles, the program, the process, Sheri E. 9 yrs. the steps let alone a sponsor. And because of Sandee A. 14 yrs. the lack of trust I was not able to stay clean. Mike S. 15 yrs.

One day I realized that if I don’t take the risk I Doug B. 16 yrs. will never be able to stay clean. Besides I told

Lynnette B. 1 ½ yr. Fifth Tradition myself that if I could trust some participating Justin A. 1 ½ yr. addict to give me good drugs and not steal my Brandy G. 2 yrs.

money to get me high (often times it was a bust), then I could make the effort to trust in the John S. 1 yr. Miracles

Joe S. 3 yrs. program of Narcotics Anonymous.

John E. 2 yrs. Spiritual Principles What is trust? The dictionary states, Gary M. 4 yrs. “trust is to believe in the reliability, truth, ability Andrea R. 15 yrs. strength of…” Wow, scary idea, huh? Well, take

Chris M. 1 yr. We Do Recover baby steps I was told. So, I took a moment to Prevance B. 5 yrs. actively seek a sponsor who portrayed the Vickie M. 13 yrs. spiritual principles the program talks about. I Ray Mc. 25 yrs. found someone who had integrity, was honest, Ray S. 27 yrs.

caring, shared hope, and purposely lived a program with oodles of unconditional love. Her TOTAL CLEANTIME IS: whole desire in life is to stay clean and help the still suffering addict. 232.5 YRS!

When she agreed to sponsor me, she showed me things I would have never dreamed possible. She not only gained my trust she taught me how to be trustworthy. Today, I’m able to trust in the process, the program, the principles, others and most importantly myself. The program of Narcotics Anonymous not only gave me freedom from active addiction, it gave me a life worth living and a belief system of the sky’s the limit.

Jocelyn B. (But Do It)

Life before recovery was all about survival. Now I don’t just have to survive and live my life by default. It takes a huge amount of courage for me to make choices on a daily basis. It takes courage in order to be part of living life and not just surviving misery - in my disease and my ignorance. Growing up takes courage. So does subjecting everything I know about the truth of the world and myself to revision and changing my behaviors. The more I feel the need for change and the pain of staying the same, the stronger my desire and the deeper my courage to do something different becomes. Things like: getting and investing time in a sponsor, going to different meetings, sharing where I’m at, and building a relationship with a higher power through actions like prayer and meditation. Reading our recovery literature, getting to know and becoming part of other members’ lives outside of meetings are a few things that have also been important to me on my journey.

In active addiction, I wasted a lot of courage doing things that made me and my life worse, only to find myself in meetings – clean and terrified, or unwilling to do things that would make me and my life better. In recovery, it’s the new and healthy suggestions we take that helps us gain a courage that goes beyond what we are capable of alone. If it wasn’t for the mustard seed of courage to “keep coming back” to meetings and the desperation to surrender, first to the disease, then to working this program, I wouldn’t have known the depths possible to my courage.

Throughout our journey in life and recovery, opportunities will present themselves to us whether they’re from our higher power, life on life’s terms or the disease of addition. We will face crossroads. If we do what we’ve always done – run, get high, ignore and distract ourselves, we’ll never grow, but if were courageous enough to do something different, the next right thing, and utilize the tools of the program, they will take us to places we’ve never been and we’ll become a different person.

Ultimately, I believe that the process of the NA program has helped me become more of the man I was intended to be all along. Without the drugs, bad influences, and poor decisions I made due to the fear I lived with, and the character defects that I used to just survive in this world in my skin and in my head.

Thanks for letting me be of service.

Anonymous

What Service Work Has Done for Me and My Recovery

When I first came to Narcotics Anonymous, I hated myself. Some people talk about how they couldn’t look at themselves in the mirror. I could look at myself and I would say the most hateful things to myself, like ”you’re a piece of s**t, you’ll never amount to anything, you don’t deserve to live….” Really, I did think that I was a monster that poisoned the whole world around me. So to say that I had low self-esteem when I came to recovery was an understatement.

Then something really cool happened. I had somewhere between 60-90 days clean and my home group was having a business meeting. This girl who I really looked up to asked me if I was going to stay for the business meeting and I thought “me? Are you sure you want me to stay?” I felt like I had been invited to a special club, when really any home group member is welcome to go to the business meeting. At that business meeting, they asked me if I would be willing to chair a meeting on Thursday nights. Again, I wondered if they really wanted ME to chair a meeting—the same person who had done horrible things while I was using, the same person who felt like they were never good enough.

But I agreed to chair the Thursday night meeting. They gave me a key to the meeting hall (which was my very first key to put on my clean time key tags!). I showed up every week to chair that meeting. I got there early and made coffee. I stayed late and cleaned up. I got to know people in recovery. I attended business meetings. I started to feel a part of, instead of apart from, everyone else. I chaired that meeting for a long time. What I got from it and how it helped my recovery is something I am very grateful for today. I felt good about myself for showing up and chairing that meeting every week. It was the first thing that I felt good about myself doing in a REALLY LONG TIME! When I thought about using, I would think about having to give that key back and not chair that meeting and it was enough to keep me clean. That key meant so much to me, because people trusted me for the first time in years and I followed through on a commitment I made (which I hadn’t done in a long time). Chairing that meeting, along with working steps, staying clean, and finding a Higher Power, allowed me to build up some self-esteem.

I no longer feel like that horrible monster---I actually like myself today. And that took A LOT of work for me to be able to say that! When I get involved in service work, it helps me feel like I belong. When I started going to business meetings, I got to know other addicts. When I started going to area business meetings, I got to know addicts from other towns. It helped me build my foundation and really good friendships, like I’d never had before. For years, I never felt a part of ANYTHING—I always felt different and less than. Service work allowed me to feel like I belonged; like I mattered. Finally, service work—whether it’s H & I (whoop whoop!), making coffee, chairing a meeting, being GSR, sponsoring, being secretary, or any of the various ways that we can do service work—allows us to give back to our fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous. When I got here, people took me under their wing and taught me how to stay clean and find a new way to live.

Every day, addicts listen to me and share their experience, strength, and hope. Narcotics Anonymous helped me develop a life that is really worth living today. I know that I can never repay that debt. But service work allows me to give back what was freely given to me and share the message of hope with others. After all, I can only keep what I have by giving it away.

Grateful Recovering Addict

www.ozarkasc.com

“We admitted to God, to ourselves, and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”

I can recall like it was yesterday, doing a fourth and fifth for the first time. At the time, my sponsor Steve G.

was out of town working. I had my own apartment and I was involved in a relationship that I had no business

being in. So, I came up with this idea to work a fourth and fifth with my girlfriend’s ex because I knew he

would cosign my sh*t; or so I thought he would. As I’m working my fourth with him, he’s steadily calling me on

my sh*t. I felt total humiliated as I should have. But when we got to my fifth, I thought to myself I’m not sure I

even want to go thru with this. But as I’m going through my fifth with him, something was happening that was

much bigger than what I had previously thought. I started to experience love, compassion, and empathy. You

see, there have been many times before I was too scared to reveal who I really was because I thought that if you

really knew me, then you wouldn’t accept me for me.

This step is better known as “Surgery of the Spirit.” We’ve opened up old wounds and exposed our most carefully

constructed lies for the deceptions they were, and we’ve told some painful truths. We’ve dropped our masks in

the presence of another person. Our relationships begin to change after this step including the one we have with

the God of our understanding. I know for me, it lead to the very insight needed for the exact nature of my

wrongs and the exact nature of those wrongs turned out to be my character defects for Step Six. What a journey

it has been thus far.

Love, KL W.

For everyone that contributed to this newsletter. Thank you so much for sharing

We Do Recover 27th Birthday your experience, strength and hope with us. March 19, 2016, 6:30 pm Your words inspire and encourage the readers

New Creation Church – 18th & Connor as they continue on this journey we call “Recovery!” Ozark Area Service Committee Meeting

March 20, 2016 PR SUBCOMMITTEE Subcommittees at 12 – 3p, Business meeting at 3p

Show Me Region Narcotics Anonymous Meeting April 8-10, 2016

Howard Johnson – Columbia, MO

PR Subcommittee Flyer Day April 16, 2016 - 1:30 pm – Garvin Park

H&I Speaker Jam April 23, 2016 – 2:30 to 5:30 – Salvation Army

For more information on these events, see the flyers in your home group OR on our Area’s website:

48 MUSTS OF THE BASIC TEXT Across1 2 3 4 5

6. "Some things we MUST accept, ______ we 6 7 8 9 can change." - pg. 95

10 8. "Everything that occurs in the course of N.A.________ MUST be motivated by the 11

desire to more successfully carry the 12 13 14

message of recovery to the addict who still 15 suffers. - pg. xxvi

10."We MUST be _____ ." - pg. 3311."We MUST remember that ______ have 16 17

been placed in trust that we are trusted servants, and that at no time do any of us

18 govern." - pg. 6419 20 15."Some things we MUST ____, others we

21 22 23 can change." - pg. 9516."In order to receive we MUST be willing to 24 25

_____." . pg 10726 27 17."Our disease involved much more than just

28 using drugs, so our recovery MUST involve 29 much more than simple______" - pg- 55

18."No matter how painful life's ______ can be 30 31

for us, one thing is clear we MUST not use 32 33

no matter what!" -pg.10221."To improve ourselves takes effort and since

34 35 36 there is no way in the world to ___ a new idea on a closed mind, an opening MUST be made somehow." - pg. 78

37

23."Recovery found in Narcotics Anonymous 38 39 MUST come from within, and no one stays

40 ___ for anyone but themselves." - pg. 8341 24."We MUST be done with the ____ and not

cling to it." - pg. 2942

27."When we feel the old urges come over us, 43 we think there MUST be something wrong

44 with us, and that other people in Narcotics Anonymous couldn't possibly __________ " EclipseCrossword.com

- pg. 82recover." - pg. 18Down28."We MUST always remember that as 19."When we are prepared, we MUST try out our

individual members, groups, and service newly found way of life. We learn -the program 1. "We MUST ______ what was done to us from committees we are not and should never be won't work when we try to ____ it to our life.

what we did to others." - pg. 38 in ______ with each other." pg. xxviWe MUST learn to _______ our life to the 2. "Our Sixth Tradition tells us some of the things 32."Although He already knows, the program." - pg. 57

we MUST do to ____________ and protect our ____________ MUST come from our own 20."We MUST remember the ____ that they have primary purpose." - pg. 69 lips to be truly effective. Step five is not known." - pg. 41

3. "We MUST realize that we are not ____." - pg. simply a reading of step four. - pg. 3222."A second admission MUST be made before our 36 33."We realize we MUST do _________ . - pg. ________ is complete." pg. 21 Explanation: It is

4. "We MUST carefully choose the______ who is 81not enough to admit that we are powerless over to hear our fifth step. We MUST make sure that 34."We MUST first understand what N.A. is. drugs, we MUST also admit that our lives had they know what we are doing and why we are Narcotics Anonymous is addicts who have become unmanageable.doing it." - pg. 32 the desire to stop using, and have ___ 25."We MUST face our _____ and our feelings." -

5. It is said that for ______ to be of value, the together to do so." - pg. 73pg. 15results MUST show in our daily lives." - pg. 47 35."As with each step we MUST, be 26."Eventually we are shown that we MUST get

7. "We MUST totally _______ ourselves to the ________ .. -pg. 39______ or we will use again."- pg. 85program." - pg. 84 37."We never know when the time will come 29."We MUST give freely and ______ that which

9. "If we have _________ , it is important to keep when we MUST put forth all the effort and has been freely and _____ given to us." - pg. 49in mind that we MUST get back to meetings as _____ we have just to stay clean." - pg. 9630."Assets MUST also be considered, if we are to soon as possible." - pg. 83. 40.. "We come here _______ and the power that get an accurate and complete ____ of ourselves."

12."We MUST, use what we learn or we will lose we seek comes to us through other people in - pg. 29it, no matter how ____ we have been clean." - Narcotics Anonymous, but we MUST reach 31."We MUST live and work ________ as a group pg. 85 out for it." - pg. 83to ensure that in a storm our ship does not sink

13."Our experience tells us that we MUST become 41."___ is a MUST in Narcotics Anonymous." and our members do not perish." -pg. 63willing ________ this step will have any effect." - pg. 6336."We MUST smash the _____ that we can do it - pg. 37 42."In order to achieve our _____ aim, alone."- pg. 85

14."We MUST give up this old ______ and face the Narcotics Anonymous MUST be known and 37."We MUST relearn many things that we have fact that reality and life go on, whether we respected." - pg. 74forgotten and develop a new approach to life if choose to accept them or not." - pg. 55 43."We MUST be_____ to do whatever is we are to _______. " - pg. 81

15."An _________ of recovery in our groups is one necessary to recover." - pg. 9638."Staying clean MUST always come ___." - pg. of the most valued assets, and we MUST guard 44."We MUST be constantly on guard that our 85it carefully, lest we lose it to politics and decisions are truly an ______ of God's will." 39."We MUST use what we learn or we will __ it in

*pg numbers from the Sixth Edition