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She's foster mum to 43, 10 Sep 2008, Straits Times

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BY MELISSA SIM AFTER Madam Indranee Nadisen’s own brood – five boys and a girl – started go- ing to school, she became bored at home, so she took in foster children. Looking after these children – mostly abandoned or from families who were un- able to provide for them – became her life’s work over the next 32 years. With 43 children having passed through her hands, she holds the record under the Fostering Scheme here. Madam Indranee, who herself was adopted by an Indian family when she was a baby, finally called it a day as a fos- ter mum in July because of persistent shoulder problems. Yesterday, she was thanked for her contributions at a party organised by the Minist ry for Commun ity Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS). A visibly moved MCYS Minister Vivi- an Bala krishnan, his voic e trembling, thanked Madam Indranee for the love she had shown the children she took in. He al- so suggested that she be named an honor- ary foster mother. The 68-year-old grandmother of nine is sad that she has to stop doing some- thing that she loves. Referring to her problem shoulder, she said as tears welled in her eyes: “If not for my health, I would carry on. I love children. “When the child runs to me, I cannot carry him now. It is not nice to offend them like that.” Close as she is to her wards, she pre- fers to cut ties cleanly when they leave her home, sometimes to return to their parents or to live with adoptive parents. “I do not want to keep in touch. If they are back with their parents or if they have a proper home, then I am happy for them,” she said. Two of her foster children, however, are still in touch with her. One is an Indi- an girl, now 31, whom Madam Indranee and her retired civil servant husband Am- brose Dorai, 70, have adopted because they have only one biological daughter. The other foster child still lives with the couple. Ms Eunice Tung, 23, who works for her uncle’s electrical company, chose to continue living with Madam In- dranee instead of her own relatives after her release from the fostering scheme up- on turning 18. “I told her she has relations, but she told the officer she wanted to stay. It was very touching,” said Madam Indranee, who was presented the Friend of MCYS Award in 2001 and the Reader’s Digest In- spiring Asians Award in 2003. The rest of her foster children end their stay after around two years. Madam Indranee has never learnt to deal with the heartache of these partings, and cried each time a child was taken away. She sometimes had to lie to the child when the adoptive parents turned up, say- ing she had to go to the toilet so that the child would let go of her. “From the toilet, I would hear the child screaming for me and my heart would hurt,” she said. “The love and bonding is there. They are like family.” Her third son, Father Richards Ambro- se, 44, said his mother treated all the chil- dren under her roof equally. “There was no bigger piece of chicken for her own children,” he said. Madam Indranee added that if there were sweets, the foster children got to choose first. She would explain to her own children that the foster children had no parents and therefore needed more love. But her four-room flat in Lorong Ah Soo has been quiet in the last two months, and she has not quite figured out what to do with her time. “Aft er I watc h TV, I rearr ange the clothes in the cupboard or take out all the cups and rearr ange those. I am very bored,” she said. MCYS’ Foste ring Scheme, in place since 1956, has 184 foster parents caring for 300 children. The ministry says more foster families are still needed. The scheme has given love and com- fort to more than 5,000 children and teens in the last half-century. Madam Indranee, making a pitch for becoming a foster parent, said: “Some- times when you play and laugh with the children, all your troubles and worries fly away. If you have the time, you should do it.” [email protected] Madam Indranee Nadisen, 68, with one of her foster children. She holds the record under the Fostering Scheme here and was thanked for her contributions by MCYS yesterday . ST PHOTO: NG SOR LUAN Madam Indranee has been taking in children for the past 32 years She’s foster mum to 43 v LOVE FOR CHILDREN “If not for my health, I would carry on. I love children. When the child runs to me, I cannot carry him now. It is not nice to offend them like that.” Madam Indranee “There was no bigger piece of chicken for her own children.” Father Richards Ambrose
Transcript
Page 1: She's foster mum to 43, 10 Sep 2008, Straits Times

 

BY MELISSA SIM

AFTER Madam Indranee Nadisen’s ownbrood – five boys and a girl – started go-ing to school, she became bored at home,so she took in foster children.

Looking after these children – mostlyabandoned or from families who were un-able to provide for them – became herlife’s work over the next 32 years.

With 43 children having passedthrough her hands, she holds the recordunder the Fostering Scheme here.

Madam Indranee, who herself wasadopted by an Indian family when shewas a baby, finally called it a day as a fos-ter mum in July because of persistentshoulder problems.

Yesterday, she was thanked for hercontributions at a party organised by theMinistry for Community Development,Youth and Sports (MCYS).

A visibly moved MCYS Minister Vivi-an Balakrishnan, his voice trembling,thanked Madam Indranee for the love shehad shown the children she took in. He al-so suggested that she be named an honor-ary foster mother.

The 68-year-old grandmother of nineis sad that she has to stop doing some-thing that she loves.

Referring to her problem shoulder, shesaid as tears welled in her eyes: “If notfor my health, I would carry on. I lovechildren.

“When the child runs to me, I cannotcarry him now. It is not nice to offendthem like that.”

Close as she is to her wards, she pre-fers to cut ties cleanly when they leaveher home, sometimes to return to theirparents or to live with adoptive parents.

“I do not want to keep in touch. If theyare back with their parents or if they havea proper home, then I am happy forthem,” she said.

Two of her foster children, however,

are still in touch with her. One is an Indi-an girl, now 31, whom Madam Indraneeand her retired civil servant husband Am-brose Dorai, 70, have adopted becausethey have only one biological daughter.

The other foster child still lives withthe couple. Ms Eunice Tung, 23, whoworks for her uncle’s electrical company,chose to continue living with Madam In-dranee instead of her own relatives afterher release from the fostering scheme up-on turning 18.

“I told her she has relations, but shetold the officer she wanted to stay. It wasvery touching,” said Madam Indranee,who was presented the Friend of MCYSAward in 2001 and the Reader’s Digest In-spiring Asians Award in 2003.

The rest of her foster children endtheir stay after around two years.

Madam Indranee has never learnt to

deal with the heartache of these partings,and cried each time a child was takenaway.

She sometimes had to lie to the childwhen the adoptive parents turned up, say-ing she had to go to the toilet so that thechild would let go of her.

“From the toilet, I would hear thechild screaming for me and my heartwould hurt,” she said. “The love andbonding is there. They are like family.”

Her third son, Father Richards Ambro-se, 44, said his mother treated all the chil-dren under her roof equally.

“There was no bigger piece of chickenfor her own children,” he said.

Madam Indranee added that if therewere sweets, the foster children got tochoose first. She would explain to herown children that the foster children hadno parents and therefore needed morelove.

But her four-room flat in Lorong AhSoo has been quiet in the last twomonths, and she has not quite figured outwhat to do with her time.

“After I watch TV, I rearrange theclothes in the cupboard or take out all thecups and rearrange those. I am verybored,” she said.

MCYS’ Fostering Scheme, in placesince 1956, has 184 foster parents caringfor 300 children. The ministry says morefoster families are still needed.

The scheme has given love and com-fort to more than 5,000 children andteens in the last half-century.

Madam Indranee, making a pitch forbecoming a foster parent, said: “Some-times when you play and laugh with thechildren, all your troubles and worries flyaway. If you have the time, you should doit.”

[email protected]

Madam Indranee Nadisen, 68, with one of her foster children. She holds the record under the Fostering Scheme here and was thanked for her contributions by MCYS yesterday . ST PHOTO: NG SOR LUAN

Madam Indranee hasbeen taking in childrenfor the past 32 years She’s foster

mum to 43

v

LOVE FOR CHILDREN

“If not for my health, Iwould carry on. I lovechildren. When the childruns to me, I cannot carryhim now. It is not nice tooffend them like that.”

Madam Indranee

“There was no bigger pieceof chicken for her ownchildren.”Father Richards Ambrose

Page 2: She's foster mum to 43, 10 Sep 2008, Straits Times

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