Simon Pellew, Time for Families

Does a Good Man need a Good Woman?

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Prisoners’ relationshipsRelationships matter because:It affects re-offendingIt affects the childrenIt is treating people humanely (both prisoners and

families)

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Relationships key to desistanceIn USA a study of 500 delinquent boys, from mid-

1940s until they were 70Marriage reduces odds of crime by 35% (this may

apply to stable cohabitation as well)In UK, men who have visits much less likely to

reoffend (rates 52% compared to 70%)

“Your friends or me.”(Spouse of an adult offender who desisted from crime)

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What is it about relationships?Men need to be committedWomen control time and

friendshipsChange in male self-image –

changing from a “lad” to a “family man”

New social networks

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It is not how many beers you have, it’s who you drink with that matters.

Wife of a man who desisted from crime after she insisted he switch drinking venues

ConcernsWomen shouldn’t be responsibleDomestic Violence

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Difficult to improve relationshipsRelationships are a mess:Poor communicationLack of commitment (mainly by men) and

especially in co-habiting relationshipsRows over parenting and moneyMen very suspicious and self-absorbed

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What can be done?Improve communication

Increase Good and Avoid Bad Increase Commitment Forgive Opportunities for talk, especially on hard subjects

Parenting Together Families complex Help them talk through issues, rather than man lecturing

woman Assertive Parenting

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Talking about MoneyApproaches to money (Tight – Loose, Material –

Experience)Meaning of Money within a relationship –

especially who controls itCoping with debt (especially for the partner)

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Impact on relationshipsMeasure Relationship Satisfaction

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