Simple for the Simple

8/3/2019 Simple for the Simple

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o r e w o r d 7

5 0 ·d a s l

S h o ck Wav e s + t th e D e¥ e s 23

P r e p a r a £0 S 37

fo r th e Fina l f$t 37

o C h r o no lo g y 0 55

e p . alGoodbye 69

T h e End 0 e~ 79

- . . : : J I " I I I " s o t t a l 8 5

T h a n k 8 8



m e conCls e an accura te mon Y oa . : . o . · . ." . . . ·E.

o f o u r elatio S lp a t a f e

ov er th e yea rs. O u e rac t 0 w a s p . .. .. .., -.

ic e. W h e n v is it g Sco t l and w o U9=iW-'~

a e you?" a n d s e w o d e p I } r , , ' " O K "

Afte r be c om ing s i ted he

and las off icial ac l1ange wsmal loom fo s a · e hours

someone 1 had been ae . e

really k now n O n th e w a y a

se rv ic e a na tu r e It s e e s e y o b s

eally d o s 0 dew e e s .

B b a a u began to n a

poe



1 c o u l s a y mo te , b ut by o t le t e o o k d o at A 0.

mains unsaid abou t , a n d b y , Ratnar an i i' al i . Par t 0 w h a·3 nsa id is OU s to y . A st o y we w i a v e tQ ou rs~

d i s c o v e r fo o urse lv es , fo owing in e x - fo o su d e r th e

guidance 0 S ri 11 P r a h pada a n d t h e Vaisnavas .

Siva ama Swam i



I

T IS·s a t a c c o u n t f as a s . .. ..1 0 1 '. . . . . . _ . - _ _ -~Il~~~~

· um in a ting e en s o f e ast two years

an ) n i d ev i da s ·Ratnara 1 P a b . . l. o = & . . .. ..

o A C B h a k lVtda t a Swam i Prab

o f t h e I n te r n a ti o na l So a e t y fo r s a Go s

a v e y qu e t so b y na tu re a nd l ike to wo a r t ! an s e r e

o d 's devo t e e s Ra t n a w as th e e l i a s e e o f

and e o th e o f A b h a y Ch a rm das d

- - o f s c lo s e 0 R a tn a th is ·s a s a d a n d a infu l ye s o

ve ry ma ting and J O y f u l acco u T o w a t s om eo e 0

g 'O t h rough so m e ll am, t r ia l a nd r ibu la on w as v eo say e e a s t u t t e : e w e re many ID O e ts o f e a o

a llY u n e s h a w e e v e r y s a c o s c o u s y r ev e a li n g , a s

P ra h a d a and h e Lo rd prepared Ra t a fo th e g ea t ~¥

en o f h e m a t a l ens n ee : h er r e t u r n ha to 0

e

o e,



Chapter One

Shor L i ~eSk e . .. .. .. .. ..~ar

Ratna was e o n in Edinburgh, S e a a nd on S e p tembe r 28 th ,

950 . $h e w as barn the s e cond d a gh e r in a family o f e ight

~ h ' d r e n . H er c hi d ho ttd w as s imple , being schoo ed a t a govern-

ment sc h o a li E d inbu rgh , a d en go ' g 0 to s tudy book -

k eep ing an d a cco untan cy a t co ege , which w as a e r to b ec om eone o f e r mal se rvices in th e In rn a ional Society fe r

K ·sh na CensCl6USneS$4

Ra tn~ Q ean as sh e w a s known t h en , me t a bo y w h en s he

w as sixtee yeus old , B i l l y by name , who sh e la te r m· ie d

wh e n sh e w as tw e nt y~ o e -je ar s o ld S had a nice w h ite w e d-

(l ing in S t~M aris Ca 01·, C a dra l inEdinburgh.

Jean and B~ Y lived in a sma ll a t o se 0 th e centre o f th

~y 0 E in u rgh an h ad fe fr ie n . They h a · t e r e s t s in

u sic a d walking B i l l y was I re y interes in r eligio n, h a -J g been an a lta r h d'y in e C a . t h 'c e ch f Q r so ime , a n d

Ja ne w o u ld is c ss th e ·f£ re fai ths k th a

· y r ea d. J ea n w a a very s pIe do ~ o-earth gi r ith n

g de en}oym' h e r m er' 1 1 £ . _ . . . . .

d P i ca l a

a



,

p-cting th e s ce ne s d es c ibed.Jea . . .. . .

t io n w ith B ra hm a J i d er b d 0.

ad o know o re ab o t Krsna con sd ess , e

home t h a t evening J e an an B i l l y t a l k e d 0. -stop O f the i on-

de r f u l new o und f r i end s II d th grea bo ok s a they had

een how and o f t e sna ce nsd ou s ss e y a d been toldab o t, Th ey w alk ed . fo r ile s ab so rbed in talking all abou t ·

g r e a t even ing, B o th J ea n an d B · Y w e r e very excited o n th is

w o derfu l expe r i en ce , a n d each felt th a Kr sna c o c io us e ss

aild th e d ev ote es h ad s o m ch to offer th e bo th . 85 this th e

w a y o f life they h ad be en c ok in g fo r?

B- y ta lked with le a a bo ut v is itin g th e t emple , and -

though t h a t se e ed like a b- g step o r J ea n a t th e tim e, sh e a l s o

knew th at s he w a nte d to m ee m ore pe op le l i k e B ahma J mi

d e ida s i and h e r h u sba nd , S h e a lso w an te d to k now mo re

abo t K rsn c on sc io u sn ess a nd th e wonde r f u l books sh e h ad

b e e n > DWD 6 5flJ a fte a f e w d y s J e an deci ~ d t o be b r a v e a nd go

with B i l l y to th e te ple, When . J e an an d B i l l y a rr iv ed a th e te m

p e they w e re t re a te d S~ O nicely b y t he d e v ot ee s . I t w a s e v e n i n g

prl lSadam t ime whe n they a rr iv ed and th e d e v ot e es immed i-

a el y sa t th em dow n and lo a ded th em u p with p r a s a d . T h e y

made ta n fe el s o we lcome t at s h e was very d e e p l y t ouched .

Sarva Mangala d ev i d as i wa s p a rt ic u la r ly swee t tom Jean,

a n d J e an a l w a y s remembered tha t . S he h el e e l J e a n a lo t in th e

f i rs t fe w oa th s o f d ev o tio n · e , a d d u e to this J e a n a l w a ) ' $main a m e d g r e a r e s p e t fo r her .

Afte t h a t first v s i J J e a n nev e r coked b a c k . She w a s n ow

co in c e d a K sa ce nsc io s e ss f o r h e a n d th t oth-

in g I s wo d su ff i ce , J a n now v is ited th e t mp e V f ! Y

ev en ' a fte r w o k, a tt n e d evening arati and B h a g , YQd- e a

8S P rme d e · g s e rv ice and t hen ~tut~ ~

e an a ls o · ed to r emembe r ow B h a v a n . ev i I

. . .~...a letin e a r y o f K r co 10



Kama ang i dev i d a s i who w as also at e Wn e ;

w as no t q tt e W re 0 o o k o r 0. r e a c h e 0 Oelkers

in th e ward j s s ta re d on in com 1 e amazem r, e J

K r sn a's w e re s een as a th er u nu s a 1 '8. th a t · e $.0 • p~

en i g w as so ew h a t b ew ' d er in g 0 t h em. Af t a f e w d ay s,

mo th e r a d baby re tu ned to e temple , and th e :w bo

ehil ,ot e fora re a m en t o m th e d e v o t e e " . R a a s t a y e dwith , Abhay Charan m a ro om 0 t op flo o r o f e temple

fe w m o nt hs la ter ano th er tw o mo th e s c ame w ith y o g b abi e s

alse. D e 0 a grea a c k 0 facil i ty in th e temple ey al l sh ed

th e one small ro om, th re e mo th e rs an th re e young babies,

Bhak ti Lynn w t Rasa -lila , Guna r a · it h U ta pa in d R atn a

wi th Abhay C ha ra n, ;yn n w a s la e r in itia te d S ri K am a d ev i d as ~

O f e e u r s e re e bab i e s in th e sa e ro om waking . crying, a t

dif fe ren t ti e s o f t he n igh t, o r seme t - e s one a f t e th e a th e r) o r

o n e c r yi ng would wake e o the r s : th l ere w o d be a long,

midn ight ba ie s kirtan, whi s h d id no qu ite a r ou se e csta ic

symp oms i th e rn a er s 0 sa y t he l ea s t. But th e ired an de-

te rmined l ad i es o l e r a t ed in " g ht a ft er night . Th ey r e al ly wan ted

te be e vo te es , a d th ey w anted th e same fo r e ir new-born

d ev ot ,e h ild re n.

Life ca rried o n) and R a na , B a l a b adra a n d . A 'y «haran

wen t to B ha kt iv ed an ta M an or, w h er e th ey we re g iv en a TO •

th e co t tage nd a househ o lde r a llow ance 0 '£1.S0 pe r week .

Ra tna w o d a ss is t Mukunda prabhu (now da Gosw ami)

wi th s o me t yp in g f rom i e to time, a nd O th er bi





e n t ·re dev o t o na l ·f e , a lw a y s trying :M :

g e e w a y . S h e w o d s a y " T ro u bl e only , . _ L I ,Lrn-·A·.- .............~

busy enough. W hen w e are f u l l y e pga ~d, . .. .- .. .. .. ~..a:;

fo r a ll th e i t t le s o-c alled p ro b em s that

dis tur u s WI ~»(~T·meis shor t S aP ab. . . . ........;- -...

everyt ing w e need to e ful ly e nga ge d ·n Krs a c on s 0 e5S,wh a t e lse d e w e need? Nothing r e a l l y , only ilia we h av e so me

i d e a s in m in and w e dw 0 t h e J u s t war d, u $ Y al l

h e t ime, t hen er e is no lme to . · ten to th e mind"

S e w as always b u s y > b us y, b us y an ba p y 1P e t

s erv ic e, a nd at others co fe e w h e a ss oc ia tin g + b he r .

Sh e w as a g oo d p rt tc t· c a l example of a s im ple , s i J real

se v an t (1 t h e V a ·s na v ss , guru a nd K rsn a. T o h er , d ev e t i e n

service w as a p le a u re to perform, an d sh e w o d e g u l a r Ys a J

"W e are S9 ve ry for tuna e to he dew ee s an d be a l lowed 0 -

galt:: in s ome lit t le s imple s e r v ic e . M i l li o s p o m illio ns inth e

WQ ld h av e nev e ad s eh a g r e a t oppor tun i ty ; s o w e s n Q d

think o u r s e l v e s ve ry f r t una e in e e d and pe r £o m th e service

w e a re given wi th g re a t c a re an d a t te n ri n , then 0 ives wi l l be

success fu l ? '

at w as her mood, a m ood o f s i ple dev otio n d feeling

h a t sh e w as so. for t na t e to g et th e o pp or tu nity to o f f e r a li ttle..

service .



F a r a e w d a y s a · a ad t o m t ? = ~ ~ I , ; A . ~ & , '

he ada che a n d fee ' g ired , S he h ad bewo r k Co ng up fo h e yea r-end a e ro

by B a la bh a d ra to iu st ea v e th e a c c o s f b

properly, and a lee a bre ak T hen on D ecemb

ml ln g .d a ra ti w as abou t 0 begin, I ta a came

h a l l w a y a very dazed a d d is ta nt - o o kin g c o 0

d ev ote es n o iced that she h ad o t managed :0 d re s ers

preperly, w ·

e nw as v ery usua l f o Ratna, a s s ea s v~

t itu la ra bo u t th e w a sh e e s s e d , T w o o f th e la e s o a k

ba ck a lo ng to th e ba r o o ,bu t fa d s e w a s v e ry u n e o o

na te . T h is w a s a b t o f a sh o ck o r t e



a c ou ple 0 days sh e w a s s ·

dis tan t- feeling· th e h ea d. S he w t to a . . .. . .. . .._

gow, W 0 an ~ed e si .ar ion said W A S e x p e r i -

enc i ng th e s ta t i c a ft er -e ff ec s tt f having a an d i rn a t a ke

couple of w eeks for t e bQdy tQ ge back to or m provided

there ' W a S D ot s ome th i ng elif moreeep~ oo ted QUsing e

p ro ble m, S he gave Ratna some med ica io n , sh e too a spre se ibed . Ra na se emed to be su ffe · & b twou l d sa y S4t

even whe ask ed . S he w o uld ju st say th a t sh e felt tire d . e r

appe t i te ' w as po or and sh e bega to s e ep qu i e a b it, bu w a s

gene a l ly chee rf u l,

S e ha d p ia ne d a trip to A la ch ua , F orida, 0 vis · h e r

daugh t e r , Kun t i , w ho w as in gurukula the re . Balabhadra e li no t

think iw as su ch a go od idea that s h e g o ; bu t Ra tna w a s v e r y

dete rmined. 50 Balabhadra ro e t d 'a nd sent e r OD ) Abhay

Cha ran , ith h er . The d oc to r h ad said th at th e break, th e s un -sh ine an v is ~ t i n s h er d au g te r 8y lif t he r and do e r some

good . Bu t N O . T he p ia e jo urn ey m ad e h er c on ditio n m uc h

w o rs e, a nd by th e time s h e r ea c h ed A1ach a , S e wa s q u it e b a d l y

discrie a ted to p imildly. The d ev o e e in A l a e UI were

qu ite co neer ed abo ut h er: sh e wou l d no t ea t , anti sh e h a d e s t

t h e a b il it y to type thi p th e compute Dr typ~i te r . S h e b e- -

c am e fo rge ful , and s ta rte d v o i ting. 0 e do to r d ev o e e g av e

e r s om e m ed ic at io w h ·€h sh e t ook fo r a da y o t w o , b t said

th e ta ste w a s terr ible d re fused to co tinu e tak ing it After

tw o w e e k s iA la ch ua " e re t n ed 0S co d d Balabhadra

me Ra tn a and Abhay a t h e a irpe r ~B· ab am cou ld hard ly

b el ie v e t h e amoun t h at R a tn a had det e lo ra d e was hav ing

iff i£wty walking i a straight line d she looked physi

v e ry exba s ted an d d istan . He a s k e d h e r how e ...- .:.....::1

to Sf yo u prab u~she e l i€.d~

o r u r the f mple , he to ok res

seemed a li t better and w as ·ovia l and eel

e

~

er netI

e e s te d fo r

ted, so h er

dave

e ina



a red a be in a sma l priva te ro o

h - f h o u S 1 1 . e r they ad t h e r e s ul ts o f

O ne o f e do c to rs c a lle d BaIabll,~__00 i e h o sp ita l, d oj o f t h e

sa id th a t Ratna h as a malignan b ·

a rge a nd g r o w , · n g rapidly, a n d a c c e d i Q mn

h a s a r ea d y s p re ad to o t h e r parts o f e bramQ

give h er mu hope o f I' ing mUG: lo nge r. ey sa id a a... . .-

su gery s h e ma y I-v e t h r e e to si x mon a th e very 1 0 ges4 a

th e tu mo ur is o f th e v o r a c .'OUS typea d h a s grow n e

a nd w ill glOW again ve ry rapidly~They also o i ted 0 b e -

c a u s e th e r e s t 0 th e brain w as a r e a d y b ein g b ad ly a ff ec

th e re w as no t much ope of R a tn a l iv in g ve ry long s ince en-

tire brain w o uld be a ffe cte d v e ry q u i c l d y . The ini ti shock 0

Balabba ra an d A b b a y w a ver immense , and they l o ,Okeda t

each e th e ~n to ta l devasta t ion with t ea rs in fir eyes. As a

c hild , B ala bba dr a h ad s ee n th e e ffe cts M fr iend'S ti l brain tu-

m ou rs and th e s uf fe i ng t he y w e nt t o ugh a d t he s u ff er in g

th e family o f h is f r iends a ls o w e nt th ro u gh . Balabhadra asked

th e do to r" th er e w as an y ch a ce th a t - m a y be a be nign tu-

m u r a nd no t a malignan one . T e doc t o r re p .e d th a the re is

no c h a n c e ; til .be s t th in g th a t B a la bh a dr a a n d f a m l l y cou ld do

w as to accept w h a w as s a id , a nd p r e p a re t hem se lv e s- T h e doc -

to r sa - h is w i h a smi e on h e r face wh i c mad e ia p pe a r t ha t

s m~ybe e n j o y i g eo s i tua t ion .

Balab ad r a and AbhJY w en back into t e r o om Ra na w asin and b y th is t im th e do c t o r s h ad given h e r a eavy ' j c 'o n

f s tero ids , so sh e w as i t t le m or e br igh t in h e r c o d , Ra

a s k e d w ha th e d oc to r h ad s a id bu t j st th a doc to

th ro om an d to ld e th a sh e h ad a ys on th e b · ----

w ou ld .rfo m a small o p ra t ion i a e dhe lp a I .At tb t Ra a espo ded , Do



ye ar s, s o th ere w a s c er ta in ly a ve ry de~ - & _ ~~ ~

e w as 0 f e e in g th e pa in o f d e v a s a 0

f ee t it w as h a v ing on h im . al a st ill ha d

Alachua . and so eh ow et e r k n ow . W ha sh o

u t e p re s en s i tua t ion o f e d ev ot ee s ~ .....~

ness to ' know abou Ratna ' s s itu a tion w as · · & e a v y Qnh i s

hea r t , As he o ld th e dev o e es o f the n s and w ha th dO cto sh ad sa id , th e de v o t e s r eac ted * t h e i r ow n d · * - . . . . . . .

O ne o r tw o o f th e a d ~e s be ga n to c r y ) fe w o f th e m en ......~ ....

a te ly re to rted , "N O !" B ' e ew s c e r ta i nl y c a u se d pain , .e ty

and h u t i' e rn i d S, and hea r s o f al l th e devotees . Seme

w an ed to ju s ave kirtan a pray fo r Ra tntis w e l l being,

o the r s ju s t s e emed . s u n n ed . N ow w e were ac tu see ing how

m uch R atna e a l l y mean to t he se d ev o te es . O ne d ev ote e re -

s p e n e d , "T he o nly re a l m o th e r e v e r a d , a n d it s ee ms lik e

I f}Sbe in g ta ke n a wa ~" h e d ev ote es w er e anx i ous to k n ow if it

w as po ss ibly a m is ta k e on be a lf o f th e doc tor s , O r w as the re

some a l .rna iv e p l' Q c e ss t h a t c ou ld c ure h er. O ne thing be e e

ve ry c e rta i : they d id et in any w ay w a t t o l os e Rat I.T ey

ad ga ined so muc h a ffec io n fo r h e r du e to th e fa c t th a t sh e

h ad ok ed a f te r the i r e ve ry 1itt le ne ed . A grea t w e i g h t no w

appea r ed 0 be hanging o v e r th e d e vo t e e s . A bi g black c loud

d a r e n ' g e'\(t ything . S om e de vo tees ju st co uld n o be lie ve it :

" s e is s e h a ic e devo t e e , wha t ' ~going to happen to m e in th e

fu ture ithis is w h ats h ap pe nin g to ~s nice sou l?»

T h nigh t of gleam and devas ta tion co ntln e d o n into th eearly hou r s o f th e na t mo ning. manga/ -Mat i w as u po n u s.

A ong igh t o f gloom , despa i r , sb l ief an d pam ad ju s be

e x p er ie n c e d , B a la b h ad r a t old t he d e v o t e e s ttl p r a y fo ~ It a an d

a t e ve yth in g is' th e o rd 's h a nd s. H e lo ve s IS d 0 ..............10.

a d kno ws. w hat ., fo r th eir erern w e l 1 - * g '. A I o u g h

imse f fe l d eva s t a t e d , e a cc ep te d t ha t h e r e w as no iL

c o u l d 0: e x c e p r a y .



a n auspicioLls d a y : Th e d y o f e lip a Dtt -,-....L_

arou d h e UK were chan mg and p • I

s id d ha n ta f or Ra n i~ an d h e devo t e e s 0 e _ .:-.~_..........._~V~

ou t o n s t ee har inuma fo r t e d~. Ba l abhad Ia - .- . .-

miss ion Q be with Ratnarigl l up til s e w e n '~'_"'_:A

ope r a in g t h ea re doo r . Ratna he l onto a p o t o g r : a p (I 5' ·

Radha -Gokn a n a n d a , t he w o nd er fu l DeitiesW 0

reside0

erB b lk t iv e a n ta Manl;).r. S he s illh ad th ¢ p ote i h d a s V&&IY

en t e r e d t e opera t ing thea re . The o sp i t a l staff adv i sed BaJa ;

Palindri an d Ab ay to go o rne a d phone in ab o t 5 ho d

w e would be t o l d o f t he s i tua t ion , S o th at w a s d on e, Ab o 6 ~ O O

P~ .M .Bala p oned, and was told tha t Ra tn a ad ju st c om e 0 o f

th e o p er atin g th e at ft, a nd w as no w in th e recovery room. H e

w a s 0 d . h . e cou ld C O e , b ut ma y Q I m a y no ge t 0 se e Ratna, i

j s t d ep e nd ed o n h er c o nd i r i o n , S o Ba l abhad r a , Pal indr i a nd

Abhay go t in th e ca r and d rove to th e hosp i ta l , Ra na was in e u( In te ns iv e G a te U B i ) . B a la , P a lin dr i a nd Abh ay w a ite d i t h e

waiting r o om beside . a lo t o f d is ressed p a re n ts d r el ati ve s o f

the other pa tie nts in leU. . E v e r y o n e in th e wait ing r o om was

v e y alka t i € : an d open w ith e ac h o ther , o bv i ou s ly h o pi ng to

s ha re th e ir a nxl Ie s A d p a i n w it e a c h o th e r . h e preaching

was . good , an d th e peep e w ere o p e n d r ec ep t v e,

A ft er a bo u t o ne h o u r h e do c t o r called Balabhadra ou r of th e

w a it in g r oo m and 8M h e cou ld ,g o in and se e R atn a, bu t th a

sh e w a s vt!ry t ir e _ ,an d 00 0 expec 00 much f r o m h er . S o Bala

en e red e leu ward · d w as di rec te0

Ra n a js b ed s id e . T h e rew e tube s and w ire s go ing in an d 0 t 0 h e r body everywhere

a : nd th ey w ere all k ed up to mach ine ry w i h k in o f

gaug s on them, w i 'gilts a dy t o s t t f lashing and u zz

ready to s ta r t b uz z in g w h v e so · g w .nt ~ong

were bod i e s al l ov e r in th e w d in th e arne SItu on : t

pre t ty in e s a mosp re o Nurse s d d o to go '

to be d every min e 0 so h · g on th



N e x d y B a l a 4 A b a y headed f o th e h o s p i a t a ab o

l O ~ O O A ! M . W h e t ey g t t e, t h e y w er t o l d t R a h ad

b e e n r ans~ t e d r lelJ t o a regu 3 ward e was O K .

S O U 0 a rr 'v in g a t t e regular wa rd t e y u n d a a 6

tin g u p in be d in a v ery c hee r u l eod , w' a b ig smile on er

fa ce U po n s p e a ki n g w i t h Ratna , Bala and A b y ve ry s o o un -der s toed b a he ' S u r g e r y h d had a e ff e c t o n a n a 's o u tw a rd

persona l] y ~ P r e v l o u s l y sh e w as a lw a y s a r es er ve d an d s h y t y p e o f

P r son, b u no w w as vety open a n a childlike "0 h er e e d s and

WB~) bu t ve ry swee t . This w a s u nu su a l to Ab a y , h e cou ld no

comprehend t e b ig c ha ng e in hi s o th er. S he w as c tin g q u i e

d iffe re ntly nd spe k ing ve ry o p e n l y and a lso la ugh ing a lot

T his se em ed stra nge to th e la d , w ho tu rned to h is fa he r an d

sa id , " T h i s is no t m y m oth er, n ot th e one J k n o w , she h as

c h an ge d s o m uc h," A bh y t hen be c ame v e r y d is t r e ssed ; th e

ma th er h e had k n own r o r 17 y e a r s , h e r moods, s e ec h, r es er ve d

w a y s , a ll t he hings t h a t h e h a d gained a f c io f o r , h a d in a f e w

sh ort h ou rs c han ge d [ 3 d j c a l l y ~ H e ound it v e r y h ard to I C c e p

a n d turned a n d walked a w ay . B a la ls m in d w a s t h e n sen t in 0

anx ie y . W ha t to d o wi th A bh a y ? I f Ratna unders t ands ho w

A b h a y feels t presen ,o w w i l l it af fec t he r? An d K u n l i is du e to

a rr iv e f rom U S A t omor r ow . H e w ' s he g o i g to be a f fe c te d ? B a l a

s tayed tb res , o f th e d ay w i h Ra tn a , an d A b h a y t o o k Pal ind~

b c k to h e temple. Ratna gamed a he v y c r av i ng f u r butfi a t h is

time . S o B a la pho ned a rou nd he d i f f e r e n t emples in th e U K

and a k ed if it w a s p os sib le t o s en orne burfi. The w Q r d g o t ou t

to e t e r temp es in u ro pe and ev e a f w in U S A . T h e response

w as a a z i n g . Th e burfi c om e p ou rin g in . Ano the ~onde r f u l

ppening . B e i n g par t 0' a g r ater fami y be e m e g c u ~ appa r -

ent to B ala and Ra na , tn a w as pl e sed , and k ep armg and

s a y i n g , « Th e e ve te es a re so kind" M n y c ar ds , f ax e s and r

(a to the p I an d h os i l ft r Ra na. In f h ro o

h ad in t h es pi a l was cove ed with th m w a l l w a l l . . .. .. . .. . .. .. . .



S ho ck W a ve s H ·

r ing ing th rough Balis h ea rt a nd mi d . r sn a s ays , "If Q e re -

m em be rs M e a lo ne a t th e tim e o f death," T h e WO I 1 alone, alone ,

a lo ne , in gl g th ro ugh h is h ea d . W o w ! Wh a t a ta aced R a na ,

an d W 0knows O w l l ' l A g sh e h a s to g e t itogether. T h e doc to r s

s a id 3 -6 m on th s m ax im um . W h o w ou ld like to be fa ce d w ith

su c h a daun t ing t ask , becoming r omp etely at tached to Krsn aala e w ith in J months .Bet s he c ou ld le av e any day d ur in g a sei-

zure o r fit. W n w ! R a tn a h as go t a bi g j o b on e r hands , h e b i g -

gest o f all. "0 P ra bh up ad a , p le as e g iv e your swee t m e r c y to t ·

j iva~~Bala prayed again a nd a ga in . B y th e m erc y o f g u r u o ne

lets Krsn a , W e ;must a pray to S ri l a P ra b h p ad a 0 be me e f u I

t. 1 Ratna, a f t e r a ll w . h o is more m e r c if u l t ha n P r ab h up a da , h e

carne U J sav e u s! N ow he r e is a sow w h o n ee ds s a V·D g , a n ic e

sou l , Ih ar d w o rk in g ded cated sou l ) su re ly Prab upada w i l l de -

l i ver he r , W ho can d e li v er h e r ! O n l y S rila P ra bh up ad a. H e h as

come to sa ve us " surel h w ill saxe Ratna, But s e h a s ttl s u r . . .render) sh e h as to h av e lo ve fo r 8 U ' U . a n d Krsn a , chant th e h o l y

n ame s a nd no w re ally t a k e w h a P ra bh up ad a h as gi en u s. A t

t h i s tim e, s he w i l l n e e d a ll th e mer y and g o o d wi s h e s o f the

Vaisnavas ' tha t s he o an get . S o with a ll th is in mind, Bala p r a y ¢ d

f or m e fcy. t is h is duty a' S th e so-called hu sband , to ( to t h e b e · t

be c an fQ f Rams ' et rna w en-be ing. H e fel t useless} and knew

h e w as , B u h e mus t p r a y t o a ct in th e p roper w a y ; ; and no t just

g et c au gh t by a t t achment an d e mo tio ns , o r th e re lie f everyone

wa s e x p er ie n c in g pOll R am as re tu rn to th e t em~ e. Wh a t todo ? 0 P ra bh u pa da p lease he lp me ! Y o u r . m e r c y l~ all . w e a re

made Q f. Th i s s o u l is you r s er va n . P le as e grit e di re no n an d

s h owe r h er w i y o u r g,reat m e r c y . ha t is Ii .d i ine s o badly

needed. P r abh p d a , pleas e b men ' fu l , del l Y r ~Q u . d

d augh t e r . S h e mus t t ake t e e rey h .i a . I fa y delivering

a ll w e must a le nd ccep t w ha t e h as giv en u s . 0 R tna , t a k e

the mercy , d on to P r ab upa a s o t u s 6 d i u s t g o

h om e ba ck to Go dh d .



Prepfo r th e

P epar ing (idi~.Oh !We ca n o n l y tum to eIn m e

Sri l a P r a b u p a d a f o r t h e d · ec io a n d s e l e r a t 18 e e d e d . to

f e e R a i n a a d everyone f r om th e con t in in g c y c l e o f b ir th and

d e a t h a n d a ll th e s u f fe r in g t h a t w il l g o w i t h t ~ e a r l u p te

d e a t h , Now it is tun e Q b e c o m e s e ..ou s , ve r y s e r iou s . eti e

• S com ing w hen a ~ w il come f ac e t o face w' th dea th. h e a c c u -

mulancn o f all o n e's r ea rs and anxiet ies , t he b ig . b ig t es t . The

fin tes t.O ftr a £w days ibecame obv i o u s t h a : t th e p r a m 0 e ra ·o n

h ad at much b ig ,g er a f f e c t o n Ra ism enta a nd p h Y $ l c a bodies

than w as a t t in t s ee n. C er ta in hings s h e n ow d id no t re embe r

e ! m o w n o w to d o . Sudde o ud n oi s e w o w co: s e h e r t o s ha ke

a n d . b e 0 e ar fu l, a nd .h e c h a n g in te pe ra tu re s fro m one

eom to ano t e r w ou d cau se grea t di s tu rbance to h er , an d

cau s e h e r to lose eq · ib 'u rn T he c h a ng in g l ig h t f a c t o r s fr o

one too to ano t h e r w o u l d a ls o c a u se h er to begin to shake .. . .. . .. . .. -lose e q · ib r i u . H e r c o o '8' on i general lacking, an d

many th ings th at s e had do e with ea s before th e o pera '0

e could no t do now . Th is a t r o u le d I ta a th t

w o r y a lso ca e d problems o r h e r tabil be

p h y i c a ll y . S e w a n ed to 0 e' c e , b u it w a \ , U . . A . . . U ~ " " " " " ' "

as s w ou ld become ans ted , d

p r blerns f o e r o . Bal ad ra Q



~ ...........SItu O. n

t ie , u t $ I ehow

rd w h ve

ti e o f

tainly

to e

tu ne s he ju st d ec id ed t ry and lle b d ~_ ...

h e cl inic, a c h day f t e r h e r ad iu tr m s h wou l d Y

spaced ou t and el d iz zy bu t s th d ay s 1-... heedd . ~1 0

g e t se ~o t, and was,learnmg 0 t 1 rate th stan eha g

s he e xp e enced b y ta k g s he lte r 0 th e h o l y am s.

T h n o ne d < l l y ~while taking a b t ~th e s a pr ~ n d

sh e nded up wi th he r h ead aro und the dO G trying to r

I p , bu t h vo ic e w as v e y s h a k y and w e a k and c ou ld n o b

h e a r d . By th e L o r d ' s arrangem u t B ab a d r a I th at s om e-

th ing. w as w rong som w here and went out into th ha l w a y ,

t h e r e h e s aw R atn a, h er e ntire fa ce tw itc hi g violently nd y~

inB to ca ll fo r h e l p " bu t chok ing a t he s am e t im e . e ra n 0 th e

s h owe r room and sa w h a t sh e was lying nak ed 0 th e co l OQ r ,

h e r -mir body jerking violent~y t such a p a c e m a t ~ts ee e d

im po ss ib le f o t h e h e rt to tak e such an i m m e n e p o un di ng .

W h a t w as happening to t he b ra in ! Her w h o l e ' body w a s a s h ar d

a s iro n " .d "u s v i b r a t i n g an d jerking t remendous ly S it w a ssr i Cg serous nd t r y in g v er y hard to c h a n t Bu tw as in-

t n se ly d iff ic ult f or h e r , h is ca r r i d on fo r 1 5 r nin u e s o r SO l

then su dd en ly ev ryth ing sto pp d and R a t n a rol led onto h e r

back he r e y e s ro lle d bec k ~"to h er he ad a nd s h e released one

big au t w a r d breath . B a an d fe w o f t h d ev ote es were ch an t-

in g at th e t0 P 0 hei r lungs an d a kirtan w as going O D in t h

hallway.ltatna:~s b o d y WI c o v e r e d by t o w e l s a nd s he e ts .

8 t h i s e r n d ? It w a s r in g in g br o g b S a 1 m in d. H e w a s

c h an ting a th to p o f h i v o i c e , "Ha r K rs a !" R atn Iy t he re .

h e ye s r o ll ed b a c k in h e r h ead . t h e n s d d en ly h e r body s a rt e_ d

j rk ing an d v ibra t ing ev en mo re v ia en tly h an be fo re . u t th is

time it o o 1 y a s t d fo r a few m in t s , A f te r iw s al l o v e r , R a na

b gan to c y . Baja nd a indri tv lped Ratna 0 h er ro om an

P alin dri h lpe d d r 58 h r. B la sk id Ratna 1 h e w a n e 0

bu sh sa id , ( 'No; ' and th sh jus t w t d (0 an~,Ratn

s i c ry ing, 0 Sa bh d r a sk ed h · s h t



to it, a nd r em ain ed chee u l an d th lI S .

mo th s had w e I pa s s ed and Ita a w a s ' g o i g s g

h er m ind more and mo re on e holy e an d S i abh

pads 's ~ s r uc tio n~ . h e d oc to rs h ad been WIO g. R a J go s o e

a l t e m a t i v e e me die s. w h ic h a cc or d" g to R atn a, t . l T a s ed e ·

ble" b u t a p pe a re d to h av e a good effec t a nd h ere se em ed to be

l ome improvement in he r o v er a ll c o nd it io n . She ~1.tit hersB u t n on e h e le ss , he S ts con t inued an d af ter a n a er 0 th or

tw o it cou l b s ee n th at R atn . 's phys i ca l movemen ts were s low-

in g down a d b ea omi ng Impaired" S he w as n ow spend i g mos t

o e r time read ing and ch an ting, S h e lo v ed to s it in th e h al w ay

a s th e devo te e s w ere eav ing to go o u t o n sankirtana J d d i s -

tribu te bags o f dri ed f 'Ui m o . h a ~ p r a s Q d a m f ro m t he S a la gr am a

$Ilas 0 ea h devotee. $ 'f wou l d I. t e rwa rd s r ema rk , "Th ey a re

g m D d boys and girls" This became a , regular daily h appe ing,

and th devo t e e s lik ed th e exch ·n ge v e ry m u ch . R na l so l ik e d

to . be i th e ha l lway s it ti ng ' w he n th e d ev ote . s re tu rne d fro m

s Q 1 1 k i r t Q T 1 U in th e evening, S he w as always a sk in g h e d ev ote es

how hey w er and bo w th ey did on sank i tmna .

Ratna w as g tnng a tas te f o r c h a n ti ng an d was o f en chan t -

in g 64 munds a diY, and w Id read fo r a o eup l o f hou r s da l Y I

a lth o ugh e re ad ing w as a s t ra in on e r y e s : a nd h ea d.

A U , be irne since l e a v i n g th e hosp i ta l sh e w a s exper ienc~ng

h . a da ch es, so me time v ry ba d. B u t sh e d id no t w a n t t o take an y

m d ka tio n f o hem . She 8 id , '~lu st w an t t o s u ff er m y to nd

be fi is ed once nd fo r a ll" O c c as i , a U y sh e w o u l d te a table t o r tw o w h th e d ac he s go t com le e ly unbe bl . N o w

nea Iy a y e r h a pas . d s inc e th e o p ra t i on d d

ou t l ived th d cto s expec at io ns . a lth o ugh h

hrough m a n y . ve Y a v y K p ri, ces . H er .ood a

gen . Sh w as s imple an d ch~ld ike , h p ~ w th wha t ,

S h w as hav i ng u ch o r diff u lty mg d u s

rrn nd ha . Bu t tb do d s aid th y pec te

at ge t

.. .



" '. "" .. .. .a r s one

~ ing , h er le gs

h er ti body v i-

. _ . ~ L , " ," " , " , , ' M ~ y gathered am.-.-.....-.-- [» L ou der a nd

~

t h i s be fo e .

.J st w ant to c a r ryon wi th t e r e s t 0 e day e r in g abu t .ffs t ime. no . S he W 3& complete ly exhaus ted . e devotees

ea rn ed h e r to ' h e r ro om and pu t h 0 b e d WI a tape 1 ·in t he b a ck g ro u n d. p aymg

tw as 6 :0 0 P .M., and sh e d id no t w a k e un t i l after 5:00 A.M.

ned d a y . When sh e did w ak e~ s h e a d lo st the u s e of he r 1

halIl~ and arm c am p e le ly . T h e fit h a d been a big (I e and hale ft ir s l11ut. Ra tn a k ne w th at s om eth in g d ifferen a d ken

p h tc e d u ri ng th is fit. T his one w as di f feren t from a ll th e re st .

Bala t a lked with h er a bo u ge tting rea lly s er io us a bo ut Krsna

oon s c i o~ sn e s s n ow , n o . im e r o. re njo yi ng o r t ak ing ie a s in a n y

w a y . This O Re w as a b ig w amu rg from th e L ord to ju st became

to t aH! s i e ri o u s~ a nd pu t a sid e a o th er eon ce rn s th a t th e m ind

mlly con ju r e up o r o ffe r a t a n y t im e . R a tn a w as s obe r, sh e w as

now in a very se riou s mood , T he end o f her ex i s tence in h er

present body s e emed no w mu ch c os eT , m uc h more r ea] t han

e ve be fo re . S he turned to h e r h u sba nd and s a i d , "Help m e ,

p ra bh ul P le as e h elp me! w a t to be Krsn a consc iou s ! Th e end

is corning so on ! R ama an d Bala d iscussed th e s i t ua t ion , an d

d ec id ed th a~ it w a s tim e to fill vtty s e cond w ith K rsna co n-

s ioosness=-nc t Isingle s ec o nd s h ou ld go t e was te .Al l over t h e

t emple building S rlla P abhupada c o uld b e h e ar d c h an ti ng the

holy names : wh r ev e r R a tn a ma y go th e s ou nd o f th e h o l y

na me s w ou ld be rin gin g o ut in ev e r r oom, Every da y Bala . . .

bhad ra wou ld co o k f or t he $alagr ama Silas an d Gir·faj l a n d sh e

wou l d be giv en th e maha-pn l ladam, Telepho e c a ll s we r e m a d eto g a ll th e s a c r ed w a te r p os si ble , 50 th at R atn a cou ld ju s

d r in k th at a nd no th ing e lse , S he w ou ld drink th e b at hi ng w a te r

fre rn th e S ala gra ma s. S he w ou ld re sp ec 64 T u s l leaves in y o -

gh urt d aily w bi(h h ad b ee n o ff er ed t Salagrama. W ' ~ ·

wou l d a lways be in h er r oom. O ne 0' h e ma ll G o v a r d h a n a a

wou ld be pu in a s ilk ba g an d pu t a ro nd a nas eck he

WGre s'ddha Bakula beads arou d h e n . Th e alls i h

lB_~~.a. guide

a n d pe fo rm G o v a r -

. d ¥ So I e v o e es

D e lh i d

i shna



o

aga l v e ry rapidly, and w it v en g a nc e, b r in s an s '- - -~ -s ~g.ery ?ad sh ow n no s ign o f a tumo u to d a e . b n o w ve ry

qu c k l y It h ad gro wn back a ga in a n c au sed · re a c tio n in

Ratnas body , R atn a w a s fa t ed wi th h e a v y injections o f ste _

o id s fo r a fe w days . h is re leased h e p r es su re o n th e brain a lo t,

and he r le ft a m and I g s tarted beco · g mobile ag · . T he

physiotherapis t would v i s i he r da i ly in h er Iit t le s id e r oo m 0

t he h o s pi ta l ward an d g N l ! ' R at na s om exerc i ses 0 perform in

th e O pt to ge th e l e f t a rm a n d e g o p e r a ti v e again . S l o w l y it

w a s working" T he d oc to r d ec id ed th e a bra i sc a n was needed

to u nd er sta nd th e e xte nt o f d amage in tn t b ra in , T h is was one,

and th e re su lt sh ow ed w h a t w as e xp ec te d. T h e tu rno w a s

t h e r e , large and active a bo ut th e s iz e o f a golf bal an d spread-

in g 1 s can ce ro u s inf luence to o th e r p a r t of the brain.

T h e d o c t o r s a nd n urse s to ok Balabhadra as ide and Q ld h im

th e ne ws and slid t ha t Ra tn a wou ld be l u c k y t o liv e a no th ermon t h at fu r most, T h e y cou l d t ry c h emo th e r apy , it may h el p

li ttle b i " D O th ey d id n ot h old much hope fo r h er iv ing much

longer. Th e y we r e very s urp ris ed th at s he ba d l ived thls l on g. S o

t he y a sk ed Bala to go back II discus s th e s i tua t ion with Ratna

and de c ide w h a t she, ant d to d o= c h emo t h e r a p y O f no

ch emo th rapy. Ba la re tn r d t o h e r oom R at na w as in a nd h ad

jus t begun alk ing wi~ h e r , whe n th e do c to . nd nurses ame

harging in . T h e specialis t a on th e dge o f Ratna 's be d d

ju s told h er . .. o rr !Rarna it 's a s w e th ou gh t, th ~umou h a

re tu rned . Y o can be given h em cth er ap y, bu t th e e IS no w o ftelling iw il l b ay a y effect . It is u p to yo u 10 d ec id e w h at y u

wan t to do: ' R a na sh ed a fe w tars, th en a sk ed abou t heme -

t a p y . . h dec ided sh e would tr y th e the rapy. ..

i rs t e v e ni ng th ch emo th e r apy w a dm nut re d s h

w : s ¥iolent ly s ick th e n tire e m g d a a re su lt was ot a

xh a s t an d v y w e ak en ed . S he r o l y e id d rno

h e r apy We ' ll j us t de n d on th e L rd now " h ho

n d



p ea ce fu l. R atn a w as f i x e d . Next to th e Pan

p er mis sie n to ap pro ac h N ity an an da F la b

o f . e fallen from th~ swee t o rd Gaura · e l f : e offe in go be is an ce s t o Lo r d N l ty an a n da and b e g g i n g me C J d re o v a l

o f tl .•~ te ri a] d e si es , at tachments a d a f f e c io s,A s k i n g H is

p er mis sr on to a pp ro ac h Lord Gau ra nga . P r ay er s to Lord Gau ra

we r e n 6 K t~ a nd p l e a d i n g fo r H is grea t me C Y tan to lea se d e -r ve r 1 : 1 . - 8 11 tl e pm , R atn ar snji · d ev i d as i, W h at else is er e to

her ~w ? Nothing s h e Gt i do . G i ve " fo u r m e r c y p le a se , L o rd . T h i s

is w h y Y ou appea r ed , to sa ve h e f alle n. N o w th es e fa lle n so Is

approach Y o u, b egging Y o u te ]iv e u p to Y o u r title, P a t + ta - a v a n a ,

s a v i ou r o f th e mo st f all en . a Lord Gau ra , pease f l l i ou r hearts

a nd m ind s w ith th e p ure h oly n am e, P lea se giv e u s th e name ,

wi t hou t Y 'a u r " S w ee t mercy there 1$ n o chance o f cross ing t h i s

grea t mater ial ocean o f mis;ery~Please s av e u s . P lease save us , 0

Gauranga! P le a se s a veus !

Nex t , ~S r imat i R a dh a ra n i, th e to pm ost o f a ll be au tifu a nd

mereiful Iad ies . N o ne m er e w o nd er fu l, R arn a tried 0 approach

S rirn ati R ld bjk a, bu t a a i a sh e c o u l d na t and began 10 c r y . She '

sa id sh e d id no t wan t to g o b ey on d S r il s. R u pa G o sv a rn i. B a l a

consoled h , a nd o ld he r th a this wa s great We a re a ll

r u p a n u g l 1 s , fo l o wers in t h € f o ot s te p s of S r il a Rupa GosvamL So

jus t pray t o . h im, be g m er cy a nd shel t. S he s on tin ue d h er

p r a y e r wi th ea r s in h e r eyes . a e~ , f i e r t e . p r a y e wer~ a ll

e ve r, R atn a w a s v e r y p ea ce fu l a nd s aid t w as nice to sp d t ime

lik th a t Just f, l"faying a nd b eg gi ng m ercy a nd s he f e l t e m e n e n san d feelings lik e s he ha· n e v er e x pe r ie n c ed before; sh e no w f e ! tmuch closer to th e acarlas and he Lord , T h e news 0 Ra t a

cond i io n v er y s oo n g o t a r ound aU th te mp le s in th UK an d

h e d ev o t e es r enewed their J . g Q u ri praying fo r e . T he r c y

d .. in 1· th e fo rm o f G a nQ ~ 'w a te r a nd te r s f rom·sarre pour! g 1 UI II •U •• de th r sa c red iv rs and kundas a rn e e s af D 1 e

T ir m a h a - p r o . s a t i , p o to 0 D ' e i i es a nd pace 0



m a d e

e h ad e a r th eto ·v e , an w an ed

IIiiIIIl:t1LV~~;;'·,~. T··..,......,t, since h e was 8.~. may b e l ast

e r b od y: W h e n

e w a s pleased,

hT·d""~I:.t e coming to. . . . .~ a s k e t l

to see me

day a d n 1 9 J t an a tte . R a a , ~ - _ . .8Irsr"Jr·D~';~.~IUtI_~~~open fo r t h a t ti el Tha iS

Iif th

T e d ev ote es began p ra yin g m

Devo e s t r oughou t h e UK Yw an

~ orld w ere also o ffe . ng th ei prayers.

In g ee need o f

, M a ch : ,R am a w as p h y s i c a l l y doing a

t tl e, a n d 5 1] ] h a d quite a b it o f e u se of h e r

H er headaches w e e t e re a o t o f t h e t·me bu e e d

t h e m . altho u gh t h e docto rs d i d n o know ow e manage d til

S e ,anti u ed to s it in be hal lway and d· mu te maha-

p r a $ a r i t : r . m tQ th e sanklrtana d ev ot ee s a s e y were l e a v i n g 0

beok d is tr ib u ti o n e v e ry da y . ,

She h ad a n a pp o in tme nt a t th e c li ni c s o Bala an d K a r u n a

S ~n dh u d ev i d as i to ok her. T h e d o ct or a sked h e r h o she w a s , to

wh i ch Ratna replied v e ry perkily, "S o w en am ge i g to d ieno w; d ec to ri" T he d oc to r w as s o m e w h a t aken a ba ck . S e be ga n

Q augh a d re pe ated h er qu es tion . T he d octo r smi e o nerv -

o u sl y a nd t e n s aid , "Y o u h av e to ta lly o ut li ve d o u r e x pe c a t l o

a nd s pe eu at ions , w ha t c an Ia y owf"

E a r l y o ne e ve nin g B aja ) Palindri, Prabhupada Van· a nd o ne

o r tw o o th e r d e vo te e s were si ing in th e h al w a y e th e temple

a ro nd Ratna and just ta lk ing bo ut Krsna c on s io us ne ss in

genera l . Bala s a id , "Wo u ld n 't ibe nic e to be a lib ra ted sou l

w a do y o t h ink , Ratna!"

To th is R a tna rep ie in a v e r y op J s eem in gl y i ov ia l hu -mOU Tl " Y e s iis"

Sa B a l a s a id , "Oh y es 1"

~ ' Y e s . »

a the n said j o v i a l l y , "S o y o u

~Ye p~"

W O K ji va n-m uk a , t e n y o u m u

h av e yo u? '



o e

th ings th a e em e , s e a lsn a tl 0:r e a ! K i " ~ · ~ - ~ ' ~ I I . " ' .bu t now it seems u ite to · ~~'.

w O T r y abou t it all, a s sh e was 't

ing to be seen as s ome th in g b y s ay in g wuaE1_~~mh e r t h ;a t b ee a se it w a s also s o

t h a t s h e i ma gin e d herself in to & 1 , .~"''' 'iI.,~.,

b y Dl a t , a ju s c o n t in u edttl

c h a t an d .- ..- ....~ ,~ _ J_P abhu ad a

A f e w days l a t e r B ala a pp c ac he d R atn a

h ad any rno e th ou g ts abo t wha t h ad be e n d ~·-·~a :·. .v~ ...

had . ~ala asked e r i f'·t w a s O K to ~ h a b O S O : ·A.~.......;;:.:.I~

th ings sh e sa i . S e r ep ie d, «Ye~ it's OK." So a la a s 1 « :

about th e pac~ o f K rs na s lu n ch . Then s e r e p ·e d , lh I Y

h elp , I don ' t ' do · ,In y he p" t h en Bala asked w h o sh e W F.R atna rep ied , "Y aso da Ma o f c ou rs e" R atn a at this po _

ca rne ve ry chi ldl ike and sw ee tly inneeen an d appeared to . b e

gtl ing in w d ee pe r t hbu gh t.

5 0 B ala p ose d th e po i nt , " f yo u k n o w w ha y o u ar e d o i n g . ,

then d o y o u k n o w who y O ' a r e ? "

T h e r e p ly c am e , " Y es : '

"Can ya te ll e ? "

( ( Y e s ~I'm y o u n g - b e t w e e n 7 an d S - y e a rs o l d ."

Her mood w as very ge a nd c h il dl ik e n ow , v e r y swee t . S he

s a id , "I l i k e elping M l ta j L "B,Ja : '~D()o know wha t is i n K r sn a's lu n ch p at :k r'

«Yeslsome o f th e things:'"D o you wa n t t o tell m e w h at they a r e ? D

Ratna : '~Yes~achor i s , l addu , f lat ie e an d y o g

things"I s ee . e d .. e Ra tn a knew qUl~

a nyth in g. B a was no r ea ll y s u r

ta i I y i n tr i gued " bu a s

A s he days wen b y It a

e repea e d, "Y ou pack



re . .

c a k e s . " T h en s aid s h e w

up a t th e table fo r th e c ak e. ~:

w h ee lc ha ir in fr o t o f e cake. ~a..j«t:l

h er cu t th e ake , ta tna id,

Ra tna , "I t lo o ks ik e a ~ •c e ~ . h·!Slt;~r.t.ii~~·Io+'lIL'."

Ratna in te r jec ted , "Yes~I k n O w. " ". ~ 8f~~H~4Jr;1f··~~J:~w·

Ratna : ' " Y e s :J then proceeded 0 ~ 0 e o f .~.a:~~

a nd s ai dJ ft Ir s bl e this part o f th e r i bbon . " . _ . _ _ _

c o rr ec t. S h e c u t th e We a nd w a nte d to r~_._..---,._

everyone b e f Q r e sh e t o ok . T h e n sh e th an ke d .....: . . 0 : : : . , . . . .. . . - u - . .

d~ idas i fo r b a ki ng t h e c ak e, s he sa id , "Sh i s a n i ce . .. .. .........

Koruna Sindhu , sh e made m e a cake ]' ' and t h e n c ie d a . . .. _ ...~

R at na a ct ua fy sa w th e c a ke ) b ut a fte r sh e d e a en a b l

s ig h t o n ce aga in f ai le d a n d sh e neve r sa w any th ing ag ai n .

O ne day R a tn a d e cid e d sh e wan t ed to . g o to t he t oi le t to

a n s w e r th e "all rillnature, Fo r some t ime l 1QW sh e h ad e en un -able to ge o ut o f bed , a nd w he n e w as m o v e d it caused h e r

gr ea t p ain a nd m e wou l d have d i ff ic u l t y wi th he r brea th ing a]50.

SQ sh e genera l ly se d Incont in ne e u n de rwea r (adult diapers),

an d Pa l i nd r i dev i d a s w on d c ha nge th em r . fgu a r ly~Bu l this

d a , ) ' s he w as s o d e te rm in e d, n o mat te r wha t a n y o n e s idor h ow

h ard w e tried to d is su ad e h er , s he w a nt ed to g o to h e t o il e t. Her

body w a s n ow o e,.r ly d ou bl e its n or ma l w " g h : t d ue to th e h e a v y

dosage of s te ro id s be in g a d in i s te red . Bu t a fe w o f th e ad ies

de cid ed to try to f ul fi l R a tn a s d e si re to g o to th e w e . S o t h e y

ried 0 lif e r f rom th e be d o nto a s oft c us hio n c ha ir by th eb d sid e, B t th ey w ert u n s u c c e s s f u l . an d Ra na e nd ed u p hal

o rr h e c .h 'o n .' n d h a l f o n t h e £100 in th e u psld d O w n

pos i t i on . Th e l ad ies ied to r t her~ a s h ~ s in a v e r y k-

w a rd s it ua ti on a n d o b v i o u s l y in a 1 0 0 p n, T e . a te

we r e in va in- 0 s ome r ea so n t h e y s t c o u ld 0 do

They q 'c I y sh ou te d fo abh ad to come .nd v iew d th e s cene h e a sk e w h h ad h ~:~



rom now on, w ha t appears i th is bo ok -.----.

t ' :hrb?ologica l o r d e r , T h e even ts a n d h a p p e n f u . g s , j u s

c o r d i ng to me mo ry a nd in p p ar . .c u l a se q e n c e . W h a 1 0 I~

is it tru e a c c o u n t a f w ha t d id h a p pe n , a lt h o ugh e re w . i f i

ma f pa rts m is s ing a s tim e h as e ro ded th e memo ry a f t ho se

wh o w i tn e ss ed h e a c co u nt s which t o o k place .W e now eave ·

o th e readers tb judge, a s s e s s , a c c e p t o r d o u b a s ey d e e f i t .Bu W bi w i l l b e presen t is c ~ a s it is; n o th in g a d de d , b much

f o r g o t t e n B u h o p ef u ll y a great e n co u r a g em e n t o a ll w h r e a

e s p e e i a H y a ll t h€ V a i s :n a v a s in 0 r m e vem en t a n to m e , a g r e a t

te stim ony to th e fa ct tha t w h a t S rlla P ra b u pa da h as gIv en is

t he M a tc h le ss Gift.

A l h ou gh Ratna w a s n o w p ra c t i c a l l y im m o b i l e an d c o mp le t e ly b li d , sh e was a l w a y s appy, She neve r a . a n y ti me c om -

pla ined abo t er si ua t ion, 1 fac t) h e 9 P p o S l l e alabh

h a e p u it t o h er o ne d a y , "S o n o w y o a r e u n a b le t o m o v e

do y o u t h i nk? " Ra n a : 4 H e ( K rs n a ) a s a Ian fo ~me. no ,~ !" f t'

sa y o r t hink , ju s c h a n. " B a ll : a :y o u a re 0 b

th a ?~ R a t n a : ~ T h a i s H is p wha t ev He w a n t



"Wha t do y o u binla))

t en s u d d e I y s he s ho

sh e b e - s a a.ughing lo u an uAn ala rm be ll s itu tio n a b~· ...,~.;;;_..::;;_~.~.

h ad a . and se t by h ig h d , s •

a d a : e ud (d in g - do ng ' w o uld c him e

T t more yo u p e ssed th e bu t o n e m~""-

on y used th is ..n time s o f rea l need ·

th .e re w as n o o ne in h er roo m, ju s a ta pe a y i n g : - ' ~ - - -U;4e'I"~."f:W~Ol Y ln g t h e re a p pa re !l y quite conten e " d , th e clt im b."~.

o u co t i nnou s y T he d ev e t s f rom al l o v the t empi h ~ L £ U & I

w en t ru sh in g to h e r aid. W ha s w ro W Wha t ' s w ro g 'J

t h eya a l':iv ed a t h er r oo m, R atn a w as just lying t h er e l au g bi g

nd press tng th e but ton H e r daugh t e r , K u i,s aid , ( ( am , d o )

do t ha t , y o u frightenrd th e life o u t o f u s all" u t R atn a w as

.smili 08 effulgently and sa id , "t t is th e flo w er s f al li ng f romMo h e r Y a s od a ~s ha i j ding-dong , d ing-dong" S he had been ·5-

e ·ng 0 a c a s s e t e t ape o f K rs na s to rie s a nd h a been hea r ing

t ha t a s M ot e r t a s e d a w as c h u n in g t he b ut te r, the owe r s w e r e

fa in g ro m h er h air. S o a s R atn a beard o f th e fl o e rs fa l1·ngs h e

w as p re ss ing th e bu tto n a s e a ch f lowe r fell , Ding-dong" d i n g -

d Q n S J d in g - d on g ,

R ar n a h d . l as t h er sense o f taste it d G O u l d D O t discriminate

be tw ee n o ne ta ste a nd a no th er . O ne d a y when s h WI being fe d

b y Pa l i n d r i d e v i d as i, Bala w as a sk in g h er w ith e ac h mournful)

w ha t e prepa ra t ion w a s. R atn a w o uld r e p l y ) bu w as a l w a y sw r o n g . T he n B aja h an ed P a in d " s o m e m a h a - p r x u a d a m f rom

h is G ov a r dh an a S ila to giv e to Ra 03. Pal indr l pu t it m o o Ratna 's

mou t . T he B ala a sked) "Wha t ' s th a a n at" S he re lied in ,

o d P iG s " tiv e vo·€e, "Maha.» S o th P a lind ri cont inued 0 g i v e

R atn a m or e m a h a ; d Ratna wa s b e gi nn i ng to u gh - ..... ~

.wun' s s h ow ing her imme se Isure it receiv' g m

abou 5 s po o nfu ls a tr ur es po nd ed no more S h



y o te me

B a l a star e pes E•t

.

« ed ; no t a w ord ,~.~~~-,~~.Ith in 0, un t · ~1:llJi.~jlWt8_-

T o w h ic Ra t na I~~

Ba labhadra ~ .... .- ..- .

a s k e d h e r if sh e w as m . . .. . ._ . _ ', . .. . ~ r~~& ft I- -. -. ., ._ · . .. . -

t "a "I'ne , m to o y o u n g to get:~maJmei~.4i_ 1 I

u e s a nd a sk ed , (C ·a 1 $ y q

cl a imed in g ir li sh b a s fu l OQ

moo d s u dden l y t h an g e d _ _ ,~...,~~~J~~l~:ii!': ...... · - - = ' "

Ba l abh ad ra {(a$," and centia e d ~

P r om t im e to t ime we wou l re sr e t u r g, a s e d Q o r ! h a 4 s a id i t _. .. .. .. .. .. ..

t i o n in p r e s s u r e e n th e brain, W e d id 0 ~~:.~ : _ ' . n K e n t ~ i m m r R ·

h ad been o c c as io n s w h e n b le e d ha ran d fl u 4d s h ad s ee pe d flut f rom th e s · her . . .. . .. . . .

geq h ad b e e n c ar rie d o u t. B u t w e t hought to

B a la a sk ed Ra i4"Ra tn a , C$. y o u s ee a n y t h i n g ? »

S e r e p l i e d ) "Y e s,I f an s ee th e t a p e . "

e r daugh e x , Kun · w as e e a n d

in g a b ou t ? She ca n 5~ e a ~:'

S o Rata asked , "Wh a t t ape~R~ 1 Y h a t ta P -

R a in a . " T he t ap e .

T h e n B a l a realised t h a t th e

So e AS k e d , " Y o u m e a n th e Krsna(~ $:'

B a l a : ~Wh a do y o u eejn

- E v e r y in g T e y It'-B a l a : -Wh o l »

« M o t h er ~al l t he re .~)It ~ ~ AI"I.~IA;_;~

a b S r e d a nd wi t h a l o o k · o f

ee, S la y th er e fo 15

ying a t in v a I s , Iking h e r if

ntshe n e v e r go t a y a sw er-0~~~'; II ,,,,, .• - in th e leas t . ben tu a l ly at 'I

~ ....~ f .hmm.mt mmm, S o Pal indr i fried

e, 0wh i c h R a n a re plie d ve ry

1 If II. . . . . . . . . . e 0 h e r ace, "More maha: '

e ca sie s d iD B p r a s a d a m t imes~~l~ i..;.] ~ d flat ie e in yoghu r t because

e called Kr s n a ( fKanat1wry Sf -

. a e re c h an ting t o i t t h e r , Ratna

__. i n g frem e e y e s . e n s he be -

the same time, "KrSDa) love Yo •

a re Y o u? R am a, whe re a re Y o U ? l 1r: a ew minu te s a nd 0 t~n,a t

e n s he be ca me silent a n d n ot hi ng

_.~· __etUU "~ y seemed d is r e : s s e d .

l . ' S . S . 1 - . J . . e w e n sh e W BS cha ti ng .

••• bit .~. ~~g, a n d be te ar s wou l d

L-.'.a:.o. t 4 e s a parently sa d neS J .

talk ing wi th a tna a d asked .

h e lp ' g to pac Kana s

t a d id no t

_ . . - -.. . b ,w ill



~ all there)__ :'~ ~~ " .: '-~ r' R a t na : ' " h ey

"When K a n a c om e s ;III.I.":v.~_'"~~. ji IQ:BfIBi~a.a

th e g o p a s an d e COW& t ~~~

became b s o r b e d , e is . so ~~

one o f exc i t ement an ill .........

n i e e" be n s he c on tin ue d, " B ¥ --...;JI

G , m i n g home , lasoda Ma· s o namw<J1__

Nanda D a h l i s t h e re . B a l · (Bal .~----=...

s t rong! The o th e r g P R l U : ar e there , M:~ -'-'~~··la_If-U~......

c ow s» S he w as S Q appy l o o k i n g ,

e nt hr alle d ~ h e a tm o sp ere m t e 009m w a s .'_-.'l_

One morning a f t e r Ratna awoke , Bala aSked · · · · . . . . . ·

goad drea s , S he sa id sh e h ad an d t ha t s he h ad b ee n ~ ~~ .

th at s he f Q Il bw . ed K a n a a nd h e cowhe rd boys in to e .. .... .... .-& " r :

a nd h ad be en w a tc h·n g t he m h av in g fu n ( r am a d is tance

O ne d ay Ratna's o th er an d th re e s i s te r s came 0 vis·t IIWII!II~~

he y s tayed fo r abou t tw o ho s o r so , t ook p r a s a d t l m an d 1Dur ing their vis i t t he y t ri ed so of en to engage Ratna in eonver-

s a s i o n o n m !y dif fe rent o p ic s , b u t e v e r a t an y t i m e g o t a n y

r es po ns e, T h ey w o u ld c a ll e r arne a nd a sk if h e heard th e

bu t no t o n e prep o f a r e sponse c a e fro m Ra na a t n y t~ e .

S e did no t in an y w a y a ck o w le dge a nyt h in g i n th e en ire ·m

of t h ei r v is it , She appea red tp be total ly uncons c iou s th e W o le

time. S o he y de c &ded to le av e a nd P ali nd iev i das f w e to e e

he m off. As s oon as t h e y left Ra D is reom, R am a· a sk ed B a I~

"P ra bh u , h av e t qo ne n ow ? »

B ala r e l ie d "Y e s ~»

tna, " n " d t h ey t ak e p r a s a d a m ? "

K Y e ~~cTh a ;' s g o o »

a l a , 'W h y did yo.

lib ?

al



Sco t is h t emple . tna d ~~~ ,'. .f liI i~ ~ ~ - ~M;i

a te G - T ; a j, e v e n t h ou

difficu t to move h

p a i n , wha t fa s p ea k o f p . .. .. .. .. .. .. .._8...""-,--~..- ~•• ili_a r ound , then hav ing tn a · t a x . . . .!'".d~&AiI ~ ••••

l a . y e r ba ck in to b e d . h e w a s n

part ef her body up-wbe w e

B o p p e d o ye r . S he could no even h o I her'M"~""

d e e rm i ed t h a t sh e w as going to do

itS o w ith gr e~ pa in , a nd much an x i~ e

f Dy lif ted h e r ro m bed a na p lac ed h er in e ee l cb~~ "~ . . . , , ~ " ! / I i I '

ju st k ep t f lopping av e o nie tide 0 th e o th e r . 0..._..- tf~Wd.Pl_ti;

t rie d propping h er p w ith pillow s o n bo th sid es an l , ~ " f t l - l n a

h e ba ck w ar ds. S he W i t S happy. She w as tak en 0 t h - e . " " .6l1Mito.\1

roam a s th e kirtan w as .s srting, Sh e w a s a sked if s h e - w a n t e d

t ak en r ou nd l jo w rd H an a H i l l . S h e r e pl ie d v e r y e n th u s ia s ti gJ Iy ,«Yes! Yes ! L et s g n!» Then in a gru ff a nd brea th les s voice sh e e

pn c ha nt in g " la ya Gir i Gova rdhana , Ja~ G ir i Gov a r dh a n a ~ a ll

th e t im e sh e w as be ing w he tled a ro un d. After be ing w h ed

three t imes round Balabhadra a sked , 1 4 I s th at a ll r ig htF T o

w h i c h sh e re p ied, "More, more ! T a k e me r o u n d a gW t ! ) J So sh e

w as t aken ro u d agai , t hen whee led to th e top en d o f t he t em -

p le r oo m . T h e k z r t a n w as m o v i n g , an th e dev otees w ere v e r y

e n th u si as ti c. A s t he k i rtdn g ot i nt o ful l sw tn g a nd th e d ev o e es

w e re ju mp in g up and d own ecsta t ically, i w a s n oti ce d t ha t

R atn as b od y wa& shaking v i g o r o u s l y , n o t ju s t o n e sid e b • bo ths ides of h e r be y we r e vib ra t ing and er head ,at5 ~aking ttl

and fr o v ery q uic kly. S o Balabhadra md hfmdr b e c a m e

a la rmed an d w eeled er fro m th e em ple r oom to 0

n ett do or w here a ll th e Salagramas re s ide - B u t o n~ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . , . _ . . . .

th nex t ro om; iw as (). ea d ·a t ;l(na w as ~~ 1.a.I.G.U

Gi · Govardhana: ' th 'sam as e w a s a

T e after f e w m :' re s sh e S 0 cll'

o Y o f

a d e a

i ffe-



a n d sa id fi r

~»When a sked

e s O f cou r s e "

SQme m a · . . _ . _ .. _ . .· . . ., . · ..u.:5;":'.u.~':d~ ~~1ii1IR1't.:

whi sh e -·-,:Wti'l'iSdD~rA1l~

ba rked pon I~ i. E ~"':.c.:'Ar..l :~

el p pu t e .. .. . .. . . .. . .. . . .. ......~ iiailtI~

to ta ck le t e bi g .umJ~im~lII _

mothe r o f two e . esome th i ng to do ·preached Ratna and *' ~wan ted h im to do a ft e . 1

all~whateve r it m a y bt i J . . , . l ~ n e n ~ S J m r s l l l

Ba l e : "W h a is t ha t, neVI?»

just lake s (tnmyaS~ J

B a la :" { .t h e re a n yt h in g e l s e ? "

"No , j u st take s a n n x a s a . Q

R at na s aid no o re . S o th e next mo ·

Ra tna aga in a nd a sk ed th e s eq OD c.r·-·~nJ(~1f-81E

s om e t im e t he n s aid ? "Y e s,ju s ta ke S4.Rn1 &"

B . a: « B t anything e:be?"

< ~ O h )yes. P ase give some /axm. (ma] ey) 0 hdp h l l . . . . .~_ ~ ••

n ·c e emple fo r Yl d a d ev i a Vmda Kunda. Please d o u.II~

p r ab U 4 Wil l you?

Ba l a . p r omis ed e 0 belp i f inance&. fu I

temple V E n a d a . Raw w as a

Vr a ev i . S h e w o r sh ip p ed V rnd a d e li ·

daily.

One d a y an ol d tim congregationR at na , S h e had 0 com a t A n Y ' 0 eF~· ...."..~;~lo:'UII.y.r::UllN' I

o .f Ra tn is s · ..

B ala and a lind ri

o ne -th at fo r th e

be y , bu t e x p er ie n c in g_pa~; tli¢y we r e ef t u n s u r e and

e r h e ir

o ship o f G iJ a j an d

is room a d old her,

h ic lt R at na e sp on de d, ~e~

_If~., .. .a .;. . t .»So B ala a sk e d, ~ ig ht g re en

~ ~ ~ . . , ~ ~ ' " D a F ,green. S h e w as abs o -

om h e r bed" a nd w as

~ : -~~~~" . .: - a n dno 0 e h ad to ld

h e ·__ nl~~~... e re o th q u it e am az e d.

_~~~ ..c a rne u it h in th e a s t fe w

II~ D:V~I..."""_ bew ild erm g, so me w o uld be~",,~JIIo.""""- an 0 e IS iu st w o d no t

~_{Or1·-- """ ' .EII·"" ' ' ' ' '......I' . B o n thing th a WI8

_~id ~_ l a S t p er io d: s he w a s a t-~

.. -___.... ... d w as v ery to fran and .

~ ..~~~..· .-o o f h er s ic kne ss , e ve n

fo · prac t ica l ly im-

an y pa l . ill s. fa c I

e a ient 1$ usually a d -

___...,., ~~J~~"I!t ! _..._. s il l t h ey e x pe r t-

ap p ached

~_£lm,...~ ....... th e ma y be



e tim e a nd left wi th

."~ta api S he c -ommented o n

e f o r e sh e dep te d . T he sedevo t ee s Ratnas h mil-

u~ing th e hear t s o f a ll wh .o!;&,~.I1;.11~""_""".a-:1!U."I "n]r.Q~ begin ig to under-

·city a n d humili ty rea ly

_ .' e ame . m Lo d on to se e Ratna ,

w m~f:f..~ -· .....~I ........... ~ swee tn e s s a n d s im-

i I M I I i . " JI l I . 1 I .. ! . . . . . .. . ., . .. to blessings T o t h i s s h e re p 4ed~~ ...,., ll y o u . No t h in g e ls e:'

e r fai e in c om ple in g he,

~ti ii - . ..~~. 0 japa breug t 0 headaches .

mo e an d me e a t te -

e r es po se,

o 0 excuses , j s chan at...

~ ble s w ' be solved: '

any s e c ia l w ord s to offer

~~~. nc rtl{ ng mo re s e e ia l, ju s

s pe cia l m es sa ge o r a ll he res: Ra a re lie d, "T h ey

............ill b eOK~

~"" ' 111111 a d sa id , "Theyy 1 That ' s the

co t land..

bet ter devo t e e

s im ply r ep li ed , "Y o

f u rt h e r. An o th e r ;q~

Bala a s k ed w h y sh e

b le s si ng s. S h e s a id , "Hell·llQt;~-~~IfL~~

l ad y a s ke d f u r b le s si ng s _ ._ ,:. .~ ~ § . , ,_ . . , , ,. . . .s ic ide ' ' Another asked .

here!" came th e r e p l y .

o e dar Ba.b.bhatlra was tail~l.~mjijil•• 1JII:.:.III5I

i n ; g t o c o nv in ce B co p le ·o f e ~~

s e rv i c e, S ud d e n ly R a tn is v o ·ce rang Q · l O i l J w . • • • •r oom, ~JY~u l ewas · g y o t ime, p r a D . ~ . - . ~tU.~y~' -~~-

e y d o n ' wan t to d o s om eth in g 1 h e Y . ·your tim e o n them"

L ate r o n B aia ask ed h er abo ut h er C . O . . . . .. . . .WI~·AM.. -=---:~Iiii.: .......

w o ma n d oe sr rt w an t to d o so me th in g t e re is¥

c ha nc e th at s he w ill a ctu ally d o i.r s e ir tu re , & & . "UL O . - , _.

they do d o w ha t you w an v e r y rare ly ill th dO IL ~

proper 00 sc ie sne ss , o r th e w ay th a IS y neede 0

wan t e d "





eaceful, b tt ~,'IUi E1i J i IU

o n th e 600 e

Balaju

st~ s o rn e w . .~o l1.iWJj~l•• 1

ligh · W ha was ·

t her e w as an ene rgy :~Q t~Dta_ L

wi g Q knBw .

L a te r in th e rna · Ii

exper i ence with 1 ·

a a s s o o n a s R at na w o k e · · . _ . . . _ . a . . ·

S he a ls o w o nd er ed wat t W8$~IJ;~~~!l1noun w h en th e igh t w as

golde Ught1

K ama aw ok e a t a b ou t '1:30 A.M.t sh n _ ~ _ . _ _WIS chan in g c o ns an tlyas s . p ~ .... .... ....tmIj__

man j idev i dam offered to change "a:&.~.

~e h e r ly ing pos ·t·on. hat app~ ...1 0 " " . . .. . .. . ~~tiJ~~18tB1Ii~I'D.pa n mo m g he r body e imm e q be ea n ~ _... . ;QJRlD ~

a nd s ta rte d ga$piIlg fo r b re a e x

choking , Ratnab ga n chant lng d e s ' P . ! l l o D ' l " l

breathless ¥ _ , compl ~ 0 ~ ID t~ ...........:~~~v~~

Krsna , K s n e " c o t uous ly· ha t~ . . I, II & WW~· .~ .....

P alind ri a n P rem a- a ni I·......._-,8.....

bh a a When r i ven CO~~~: --.:III ~-.",

~ breath ing): bu t w as & t il l '~~IA&&" _'

· . . v e r y pe a eful y . I f

ra b u pa da Mara -

. Co I I 1 a was a ro u nd n til v e ry

_Sj·mmulg· .and e did not really- - = - - . . ..

h a ppe n wi th a tna ,

~~.......~.:=~. w as no w be twe en Ratna,

~ a (Kana ) 1 J s h e h ad

·sed e r w en sh e asked ,

er and ut a S ala gr am a o r

~ .~"Y . ~.i 1 a ve ' in h er m ou th t

.&. _ e d . Bala p a y e d t « 0

e e at leas t th is fo r

th e c omma nd er- in -ch ie o f th e

, in a chair in th e t empl e hal l -e n e tho gh t he s aw a very

g p a n d d ow n h e ha l lway

t to be th e l igh t re f l ec t ing

dazz ling igh ju

e n o ugh t ima y be the

remo e is gla s s e s no ,

e 0 e r devo e es if

..&UCy coul d n '. e li ttl l ight e pt

. - - . . - . - . . _ . . . .s ro om asJ

g oin g ina ,_..__.. nds , n appea r



abhadr a

~-:;:.&i..~~~ .....every so o f-

tna's mUD

oistfrom e

· ado fts.

.~ "" m ou th w h en

1IlI.(~-- ir . an go g o i g and w as

r.-,...... s p re se t· on

· s w a s D r a 1 e

erso a l l y present asow they e re eh anting

Q re 0 viou y d ~

ts c h ok ed fr om im e to

. u. ' \OO . . .. .. . ~ . .. .. .. .. .. .. &............ g ing ove r her ,

~~..~,_._--........._.~indh massaged th e

as e · d e st p e rs a sh e eve r

~~__...,...._ a lways ca l l ed h e r Mammyji .

c he ek s as s he m e ss ag ed

e h o l y n a m e s , Th e

U~: rIdotI1"U"Ii s tl kep t chan in g wi th

.......l[..Ar..: ~ , . . , : : w l l ncont inued fo r 4

~ . . -- - " . 1 1 :. . . - . to e e tire time,

a econ S e knew i

~g a onde

o ha grown p

· ec io n. Moth e r

devo t e e s tomake ft I.o;.:~~ •••

S c o tt i s h Yatra '~

Mara t h on Mas t

th e nearby t o w n s

Rat a h ad b e e n

suddenly j u s t it few """. . ......' I I l I" . 5 : . r r ._ _ _ N~mll~brea th ing again o o k.a tu rn ....u. . · ; -m~mIII

brei t still chant ing" ~r ft. ~~ .. ~~

every little bi t o f rea th sh e

"Ratna doI f t be afj aid. you .~ - -. . .. ,.!Wf.rW."

1 0 g im e , Y o u h av e ju ch an en attd.~~re;~,. _ ••. _" A_" ~

ye a s soJidly~Yo u h a ve t ak en o v e r one t..U:U.:uvJ~~:.I~~1J;

past tw o ye a 8. ou have a l w a y s ied ~~.w.;.._;:h ......~

d e v o t e e s - an d Sri l a P r a b h p ad a , A ll $.

e holy n am es a nd bt peacef D o 't trt te& S body any J o n g . This b o d y o f y o IS ~t I4.~"&~~ ...---- -

an y se rv ice , so w u se is it to you? G o on 0 ~

ca n be used ins er vic e t o K a na . N o approa S · P

an d be g f o rg iv e n es s f o r 1 1 f 0 ce s you ay av e e o nn~

owingly o r ow ing y . O f f er } 'Q ebe i sanees to

Vai sn av a s , A3 k S ita ra .bh pada~ p.e rmiss io . 0 _. __Mo)II«A

M e r Yasod a so tb a y o u c an take she l t o f n ef i

Ev en if yo u are no t sure whether ~ is 10

no ju s ask permiss ion to o ff er t h a t se rv iee a t ·

your fi n br a th a nd to e able to y o • 0

to aseda d her oved Kan {getw o Id , a rge t m one of i·s

h eld o n 0 anyth ing

go a nd se rv e

o Yaso

a up ad

rdyo

oth

~ '..I. .- . • , ' - r ' . . . ' ." I I ~ - I ~~•: . ~ iii I~•1-

.. _ - .:.;iJ :~_



~-- ng fa rvice . 0 ge t V ..

in w . 'K In , K sn , K sna , ' 0

. . .. . • ._ . . y , n "ng e a s a al l

__ mtDll~Q!l.i s I S$ n w . I t ' s yo u a nd th 0

s rv ic 1 d o n't w a it n y

. . . - - - ? ant, Ra t a , eh a t~ 0

b a a d

wash d r

li t e ov

t h r ........1

ay 0 secon

· righ teli ry o w

h er mo t, . . . . .

yo u V i g mr J in yo

Kunda 0 your h a

a y mo re ." v eryo n c t ing v

s l i g h t a n d g en tl e s He then while e r ......-...;. ! , O . . ; - ~......-~~A":"r.Bf_.,

n ames , c l ut c h in g h e ir ir a j, 'lu ls i lea

cred w ater a 0 . g h er h ead and bodf j

la st . T h e d ev ote es c ha nte d o ud ly d BaJa ~U-I~_::ft-.aMVJr IZV~·

S cred wale s a s sh e eft . Ku n i ann... . . . . . . . . . . . . ..watch d y a tentiv y a s h e mo

fo r d v ot es , K un ia " d , « to

c an ting. S he w en H om, y 0-.._...

g ra bbe d h er bead bag, an an 0

p and up t ields i th po g ~al bowed d own an d O · . . . . . ..G.........n

d o t e e s fol lowed s ~, even h i s p a r . .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

"h w t to h er d , sh e

ng b c am e s oft er ,

ve i. chan ed ,.II

agIng to ow IX

c ha nt · g very

a t tied an a

b e th ing was

. . .. .. . . u , -- .. . .. . r _ f i do o r t w asa tn b

ong ..w a . S 0

£ th e 1

m



ie a t110

t im e s .

e ICr sna

• f I . II I . tI I H I o e s .

~das fO h e r good example in r

g w a y .

m ole a s S rila Prabhupada h a s s a i d . «Th i s

· p Ie fo th e s · p e , b u t c omp li ca te d

a y c ur.II....,... ~ •den t s wh ic h c ou ld ha ve be e pu t

bes t fO tty 0 ke ep it sho r t

....... v e d is tu r be anyone in ~y

WftReD ....__...~. O ur e s i r e w as ju s to glorifyo f K rsna co s c i ou sne s s b y

-AR-A. IU.CP.. 1 I r ; . o 1 "N ow why no t u s a l l ? Srila

.......a.l"'"'UI'n· g a n it appe a rs t at

was giv mg. L et u s. ii,InoW

--""bhupad is g]vlng S O

............I_~b to o dhead . h atup a a s ow n u s





· s a nd d ec ora te d b o d y w i ga r-

t by r e la i ve ~ , eongregat io

a ro u e e P S o a

e 0 si a hu nd a c t. Many evotees...

e rr a sf e s p ec t s r emarked "S he lo ok s so

r e ep iQ g in th e mids t o f· th e f1ow eIs~

evotees nt om doe to d oo r in .

pie a nd told e ve ryo ne o f

_~B~.lWlm;a,cf:1l1em. Bhagavall-gita a n d asked e r n if. e s ju s t a s a l as t r es pe ct to Ra na .

~.!ltIa._i¢.~_e4;~Ili1'LOle,e e s ,~~~

~ by th e Lord ' s d·v · e ar -

a pe rs e ed ed f or h er e re 1-

c rem at or iu m t ha wou ld per-



~ rh B ala bh ad r bro ke in D th e maha -

L·...~ d e Y o e es e sp on de d joyous y a s th e kir tan l e a d e r

1Il'__ ~ c ia their hand s , w .~ bi n a ew min te s

~.. ~ g lou dly d lo o k ing br igh t T he .sh o r 15

~~ e a e . then ribhuvana a p r ab u gav e

~_.;o. t a lk , w ic h w as v e y pe r sona t a d befi in g

e re s ting 0 t h e n o n - d ev o t ee g u e s t s ,al kit tan as Ratnis remains d is-

' - , &&. , I '. ~ a trap o o r o n a deco a ed pla t -

~JIIo" HrenRJIe .U&&&...... • v e r y · e y t o g iv e t he r em ain s ;Iwon

- - . .. . .-o f f~ e ad y w ·0 0 ad bee used

Q £ F(' an d K rs na fo near ly 2S

o a ose, as semb ed g ue st s w e re

00 whe r e Ganges w a a nd TQ . l $ i e a v e s

1 ::& . ~ . LIIIro.... to , a s p e . Ra tn i s p m ' in g r e que s t A ll th e

~ . . : e e s . . . .EI6.~~ gt e a c o y o f BhagQl 'ad~ta a n d as ed if

I_DI11 .-...u.w. a eas 3 v er s es a d ay fo r h e nest week in

v e rv o ne gl a y agreed d appe a r e d pleased

- - - - - - . -some call Ra D is Bible.u pa da P ra na a nd B a la bh a dr a w e nt Q

o th e fi ceremony, c a r omiting

h ay Ch ara n pu sh ed h is rno h er 's

r U r d in to th e b ur nin g to lllb , he

.__ ... a and a abh ad a h e ld a s ho r t

'G:II&&W"~~

e r u i c k 1 y con s um d th e b o d y .it all o ve r. W h at w as o nce th e

. .. ... .. .. .. .. . t n r an "m i d ev i d as i o r 42

e Igo ~ S ch is li £ IW e ~re

00 an for a f e w mln"

e nd r i it just th e

' nning o f h e r r a .]

iss a nd k no wl-





r ..

· a ran j' d e · d ia s pro en ilia ve ry c le a r ly~

~'A"""O al l h a e no deub + Look n f u r the r , p r a bhu s ,

~""·U."1oMia and his in t ru ·ens . ta n effu lgen y b ef e u s all .

- -- -. gre a no na ! examp o f • ty d t r ue gory

bh upa s m cy . t s m erc y is h a t he h as giv en u s .

. . . . . . . . . . . . .~ ~ ) a l e e ! L s n be greedy f or t ha t mercy . Let 's be

.............n a . .Ma y R at na s e xa mp le l i ve fo re ve r a s a t es t i -e pea e s s of P ra bh p ad a a nd h is lo v e fo r

ou l s e re is t he n ee d to go 0 l o o k any-

S K C O N i so c an w e. Sw e e t sweet

t, pa itw O lo tu s e t,

, . . .. .. t I o - . .. .. .. .. ~ prab u , 0 being a f i rs t e las s ex -

ab s m er la as e d e liv e re d s o ul . All glo r ies

...,... . . . . . . .~~ h npa d a , the de l i r O f e e. h e e li ve re r a

·~~9' :I ,. .. ft .~. .. ,. ••~~i si a m ill io n s o re h o a re prepared to

ie n a nd s imp y a l l ow h is i n s t ruc t i ons w ith fa ith a nd

III#&~" a bh up ad a sa id "T h is Kr s n a c on s c i o u sn e s s

e simp e , b c om p lie s e d f or th e compl ica t ed" 1

· P rab ad a a nd Ratn ran j in i prabhu t h a t by t he i r

is 0 1 c a n a lso be com e a s imp le i n si gn if ic a n t

atta in th e Mat e s s G·ft t h a t Sri l a

d a labh ad r da s ~



e devotees fu r th ei in d a d

_1:!:f(·-~:1R~ ....,_._....----a n p rab u du w g .e la s tw o

Spe c l ly aI th e w ate rs fro m th el i re s o f th e n ec ta r k ep po u r

e maha-prasadam that w as

. . . . . . . . . . . . .o l, b t as you k no w

- - . r · - - 8 ot o ss ib e S o I t h ank

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