Social Media and Online Safety

Social Media and Online Safety

The impact of gaming, social media, and the internet on today’s youth.

Dave Barry, LMFT

Logging In: Naming the Problem


● What role do video games and social media play in your household?

● What issues, if any, has your family had to deal with as a result of gaming/social media/internet use?

Logging In: Naming the ProblemI. Detrimental Effects of Too Much Screen Time ● Emotionally ("Facebook depression", loneliness)● Socially (false sense of intimacy, quantity of

connections vs quality of connections) ● Physically (obesity, effects on developing brain,

addiction) ● Spiritually (technology idol, decreased moral

sensitivity, connecting with God’s creation)

Logging In: Naming the ProblemII. Internet Safety Concerns (The former can affect the latter...) ● Online Predators - Sexual, Financial/ID theft ● Cyber Bullying/Sexting(illegal for minors) ● Misuse and Misconceptions about online "privacy"● Exposure/Unlimited access to inappropriate

material ● Pornography -


Conclusion: It’s all new…but it’s all the same.

“Since the dawn of teen culture, adolescents have led lives apart,

but recent advances in technology have given them a whole new mode of asserting

their independence and prospecting on their own”

– Jennifer Senior, All Joy and No Fun


Conclusion: It’s all new…but it’s all the same.

Key Difference: The rapid technological changes are hard for parents to keep up with, but children and adolescents (whose brains are still developing and amenable) can adjust to these fast paced changes in real time.

Logging In: Naming the Problem● Technological use by children tends to create an

inverted power structure● The child may be the expert on how to work all devices in

the home● “Parents live in a society that gives them a sense that their

kids have to give them permission to do things. Like asking your child to friend you on Facebook.” Clay Shirky, New-Media Philosopher, NYU.

● Passive vs. Active parental monitoring ● Family TV, Telephone vs. cell phones and Facebook

The Next Level: The Increasing Allure of Gaming/Social Media

The Next Level: The Increasing Allure of Gaming/Social Media ● Statistics: Everyone ● APA: 97% of teens play some form of video games on a

daily basis for at least one hour● 99% boys, 94% girls

● 2010: $25 Billion Industry – More than double of Hollywood’s box office sales for that year

The Next Level: The Increasing Allure of Gaming/Social Media ● Social Media Use


How do great students get sidetracked by Facebook,

Twitter, and especially online video games?


The Three Traps of Gaming● The Incentive Trap

● The Escape Trap

● The Communal Trap


The Three Traps of Gaming● The Incentive Trap● Challenge and Reward ● Games provide a certain level of challenge, and players are

rewarded for their efforts● Games provide tangible rewards● Rewards also provide instant gratification


The Three Traps of GamingIt can be argued that adolescents’ decision making is biased

more by motivational factors than by cognitively driven calculations of outcome probabilities.

“In teens, the parts of the brain involved in emotional responses are fully online, or even more active than in adults, while the parts of the brain involved in keeping emotional, impulsive responses in check are still reaching maturity. Such a changing balance might provide clues to a youthful appetite for novelty, and a tendency to act on impulse—without regard for risk.” – The Teen Brain: Still Under Construction, National Institute of Mental Health




The Three Traps of Gaming● The Escape Trap ● Avoiding Stressful Situations● Coping Device / Self-Medicating ● "Safe" Acting Out in Fantasy (both harmless and deviant

behavior)● The Infinite Domain in Gaming


The Three Traps of Gaming● The Communal Trap ● Teens are Social Creatures● Children are object focused. Teens are relationally focused

● Today’s games give players the opportunity to connect with people both locally and globally


The Three Traps Applied to Social Media● The Incentive and Escape Traps

● Dopamine boost every time a status update or instagram photo is liked

● Mindlessly escaping into the news feed. ● Easy to develop alter ego, try on different online personalities

The Next Level: The Increasing Allure of Gaming/Social Media ● The Communal Trap● Teen’s developmental task: Identity formation● Sorting out who you are and how you operate in the world

around you● Adolescence (12 to 18 years) Identity vs. Role Confusion.

Focus: Social Relationships - Teens need to develop a sense of self and personal identity. Success leads to an ability to stay true to yourself, while failure leads to role confusion and a weak sense of self.

The Next Level: The Increasing Allure of Gaming/Social Media ● Can students really get

addicted to video games and what happens to them when they do?

● The Answer: Yes.

● The Nature of Addiction

● Pleasure Chemicals● Dopamine

● Chemical responses brought about by substance abuse are also occurring in a number of behaviors, causing behavioral addictions

Beating the Game: Outcomes that Matter

The Task at Hand:

Teach moderation, responsibility, and

wise decision making in using technology.



The Positive Aspects of Gaming

● How can video games, social media, and computer mediated activities be used in positive ways to enrich the learning experience? ● The Positive Aspects of Play● “Erikson (1977) proposed that play contexts allow children to

experiment with social experiences and simulate alternative emotional consequences, which can then bring about feelings of resolution outside the play context” - The Benefits of Playing Video Games. Isabela Granic



● Cognitive Impact● Improved Spatial Skills ● Improved problem solving ● One does not regularly read a manual before starting a game

– one must problem solve through trial and error through the game process

● Creativity ● Not found in other technology use (cell phone, internet)


The Positive Aspects of Gaming● Motivational Impact ● Entity theory of intelligence vs. Incremental theory of intelligence

● “You’re such a smart boy” vs. “You worked really hard on that puzzle”● Video games promote incremental theory through concrete and

immediate feedback

● Emotional Benefits● Games can increase mood

● Puzzle games with easy accessibility (i.e. Angry Birds) can quickly improve mood, promote relaxation, and ward off anxiety



● Growing Industry● Child shows interest in working in video game design?

Encourage it. Arrange for a field trip to Electronic Arts, or any other school or place of business that focuses on video game production


● What should parents do if they feel their child is in one of these situations?● 3 Arrow Assessment of your child’s gaming/social media

use


● What should parents do if they feel their child is in one of these situations?● 3 Arrow Assessment of your child’s gaming/social media

use● Upward pointing arrow: Great! Maintain gains, affirm

positive use● Level Arrow: Look for areas of growth, and plan to achieve

goals● Downward pointing arrow: Identify the problem and address

it directly


● What should parents do if they feel their child is in one of the two latter situations?

● Look to the Mirror - what am I modeling?● Teach Rhythms? / Establish Boundaries

● Where and When● Dinner is Device Free● Check Devices in at Bedtime

● Maintain Communication● Teach Responsibility & Accountability Vs Relying on Content

Filters or Blocking Software (Psalm 101:3a, "I will set before my eyes, no vile thing")


● What should parents do if they feel their child is in one of these situations?

● Leverage the desire for community and relationship● Power outage nights● Student Leadership: Power Outage Groups – On campus

or community groups focusing on real life interactions and relationship building


● What should parents do if they feel their child is in one of these situations?

● Learn to Play and Relax● While video game play and social media are leisure

activities, they often do not promote genuine rest


● Downward Arrow Example:

Is My Child a Texting/Phone Addict?

List of Symptoms from American Journal of Psychiatry:● Excessive texting/SM surfing to the extent you lose track of time● Feelings of withdrawal when your phone is not nearby that lead to

anger, tension and depression● Negative treatment of those around you such as ignoring them/

getting into arguments over phone use● Negative treatment of yourself such as losing sleep or forgetting

to eat.


● What should parents do if they feel their child is in the last situation?● Don't React and Unplug All Devices!● Identify and address the deeper issue that is causing

an overuse of video games/social media (stress, peer problems, academic struggles, etc)

● May Need Professional Help to Assess Addiction ● Connect with Support Network (Youth Pastor,

Teacher, Coach)

Bibliography and Resources● A Parent's Guide to Understanding Social Media, Mark Oestreicher and Adam McLane

● All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood, Jennifer Senior

● Brainstorm, Dan Siegel

● Taking Stock With Teens, Piper Jaffray (semi-annual survey of teens preferred social network usage)

● The Teen Brain: Still Under Construction http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/the-teen-brain-still-under-construction/index.shtml

● The Benefits of Playing Video Games. Isabela Granic, Adam Lobel, and Rutger C.M.E. Engles. http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/amp-a0034857.pdf

● Teen Facts Sheet (internet and social media use) http://www.pewinternet.org/fact-sheets/teens-fact-sheet/

● The Science of Addiction http://youtu.be/ukFjH9odsXw - informative and fun video explaining the nature of addiction

● That’s Not Cool http://www.thatsnotcool.com/ - Website for raising teen awareness on social media and internet safety

● Tech Savvy Parenting www.techsavvyparenting.com

Thank You! ● Please feel free to contact us for follow up or for a free

phone, or in office consultation.

Dave Barry, LMFT650-570-7273 x.003

[email protected]

1510 Fashion Island Blvd. Suite #110San Mateo, CA 94404

Date post:	15-Apr-2017
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Social Media and Online Safety

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