SOCIAL MEDIA AND TEENSParenting in a Digital World
Nanci Schiman, MSW, APSW
GOALS1. Gain insight into today’s GenZ/iGen generation.
2. Develop understanding of social media apps
3. Learn about adolescent brain development,
decision making and behavior
4. Gain tools for talking to our teens
5. Learn options for parenting and establishing family
guidelines
THE iGENS• Spending slightly less time on homework
•Waiting to get drivers license
• Dating less frequently
• Delayed physical sexual activity
• Increased parental monitoring
• Less likely to go out without parents
• Decline in entering workforce
• Less alcohol consumption
• Less conflict with parents
GOING OUT WITHOUT PARENTAL SUPERVISION
0
0.5
1
1.5
2
2.5
3
1976 1982 1988 1994 2000 2006 2014
12th Graders 10th graders 8th graders
# of times
per week
SUMMER EMPLOYMENT
16-19 year olds employed in July. # of hours worked/week has
declined from 15 in the 70’s to 9 in the current decade.
ALCOHOL USE
Percentage of 9 – 12th graders who have used alcohol in the past 30 days
CONFLICT BETWEEN TEENS AND PARENTS
Conflict = 3 or more fights/arguments between teen and parent over past year
HISTORY OF SOCIAL MEDIA
• 1980 – Compuserve introduced first online interaction
• Mid-1990’s – Yahoo, AOL, Amazon, Classmates, 6 Degrees
• 2001 – Wikipedia
• 2002 - Friendster
• 2003 – LinkedIn; MySpace
• 2004 – The Facebook (only for Harvard students)
• 2004 – Flickr for photo sharing
• 2005 - YouTube
• 2006 – Facebook; Twitter
• 2007 – Smartphone with touch screen/iPhone released
• 2010 – Instagram (purchased by Facebook in 2012)
• 2012 - Snapchat
US POPULATION USE OF SOCIAL MEDIA
PERCENTAGE OF TEENS USING SOCIAL MEDIA
POPULAR AMONG TEENS
PERCENTAGE OF TEENS WATCHING 3+ HOURS OF TV/DAY
TEENS AND VIDEO USAGE
TEENS AND MESSAGING APPS
APPS, APPS AND MORE APPSTHE BIG THREE
• Snapchat
TEXTING
• Standard phone
texting app
• Messaging through
Facebook, Snapchat
• WhatsApp; Kik;
GroupMe
VIDEO CHAT:
• Facetime
• Skype
• Messenger
CONCERNING APPS
AND BEHAVIORS
• Secret Apps
• Hide It Pro
(Audio Manager)
• Calculator% (ios)
• Burn Note
• Omegle (chat)
• Secret accounts
• Sexting
• Internet/gaming
addiction
TEXTING/VIDEO APPS
IMPACT OF SOCIAL MEDIA
PROS
• More connected
• Can teach social skills
• Integral part of 21st
century world
• Networking
• Pursing interests
• Positive support
CONS
• Cyberbullying
• Sexting
• Gaming Addiction
• Isolation/Depression
• Disrupted/limited sleep
• Limits communication skills
• Questionable/unsafe sites
THE TEENAGE BRAIN
The amygdala controls emotions –
fight or flight response. Highly
developed in teens. Contributes to
impulsivity. When parents ask “what
were you thinking??” . . . the reality is
often our teens weren’t!
Frontal cortex controls logic, decision
making. Isn’t fully developed until age
25. Insurance car rental companies
charge higher rates to those under 25.
Teens often act without the full benefit
of the frontal cortex.
SCREENAGERS: GROWING UP IN THE DIGITAL AGE
HTTPS://WWW.YOUTUBE.COM/WATCH?V=WCT5JCCXMPW (START AT 2:40)
FEELING LEFT OUT
Percentage of 10 graders who agree with ‘I often feel left out of things’.
Girls are more susceptible because of the way they engage in social media
DEPRESSION AMONG TEENS
Percentage of 12- to 17-year-olds experiencing a major depressive
episode in the last twelve months, by age group
SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION
Times per month 12th graders experience psychosomatic symptoms of
depression.
COMMUNICATING THE MILLENNIAL WAY
2 dimensional vs 3 dimensional communication. Texting and email takes away the 3rd
dimension of facial expression, body language, tone of voice. More open to
misinterpretation. Disinhibition to say things online that wouldn’t be said face to face.
TEEN VOICES
• What are kids saying?
• Don’t over do it or we’ll just close off
• Show that you trust us and we’ll be more honest with you
• Educate yourself about the issues that concern you
• Come from a place of caring rather than fear
• What are kids doing on social media?
• Connecting with friends and family
• Sharing pictures and information
• Creating digital memories
• Passing the time/relaxing
• Why do teens lie or withhold information?
• Privacy/Don’t want to share everything with parents
• Multiple accounts serve different purposes – not always negative
• Concern that parents will overreact/take away access to technology
HOW TO TALK TO YOUR TEEN
• Timing is everything; avoid HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired)
– bring your ‘A’ game to the discussion.
• Fact check your automatic thoughts. Are your fears real or
driven by your amygdala?
• What is your goal of the conversation? Information gathering,
sharing, alleviating concerns, venting?
• Ask open ended questions.
• LISTEN. Teens (and all of us) want to feel validated, respected.
• Build trust with your teen to increase honesty. Be a role model
by demonstrating honest behavior.
SETTING BOUNDARIES
• Parenting by the seat of our pants – can leave us prone to
reacting rather than responding, leveraging consequences that
we later change. Undermines our credibility.
• Set appropriate boundaries and clear, consistent
consequences. Let teens know in advance, follow through if
rules are broken.
• Reinforce positive behaviors! Catch your teen doing things
right.
• Network. It takes a village
• Know your motives. What do you want to achieve as an end
result?
• Every family is different. Every child is different. Fair is not
equal.
QUESTIONS