The Illustrated Beowulfby Jake

Starring:1. Danish Prime Minister Poul Nyrup Rasmussen and Pope John Paul II=Hrothgar2. Random Dane in Herot

3. President Bill Clinton=Beowulf

4. Cookie Monster=Grendel5. Danish Guard

6. Hillary Clinton=Weltheow 7. Michelle Pfeiffer=Grendel’s Mother8. Boris Yeltsin=WiglafGodzilla=no speaking partThe A-Team=no speaking part9. and 10. David Letterman (2 little guys in the castle)

Hrothgar was the king of the powerful Ring-Danes.He and his friends thought it was cool to brag about themselves.

His tribe met in a great hall called Herot, where they ate a lot and drank even more.

Beowulf, the strongest warrior from Geatland, came to the rescue.

Without warning, a vicious monster called Grendel attacked Herot.

Beowulf was accompanied by a group of "thanes" known as the B-Team.

They set sail for Herot on their mighty ship.

The Danes were glad to have the Geats on their side.

Beowulf and Hrothgar drank the night away.

Beowulf, always the player, put the moves on Hrothgar's wife Welthow anyway.

That night, Grendel returned to Herot for seconds.But he didn't know who he was messing with.

Beowulf caught and taunted Grendel and broke off his arm. Grendel ran into the forest to die.

Grendel's mother, a she-cat, came to collect payment for her son's death.

Beowulf and his thanes set off in search of Grendel's mother's underwater cave.

It was a raging battle.

Beowulf emerged victorious and took Grendel's head as a trophy.

Beowulf and the B-Team returned to Geatland.

When the warriors returned, they found that a fire dragon had been terrorizing the Geats.

Beowulf, although mortally wounded himself, cut the dragon's stomach and extinguished his fire.

Beowulf asked to be buried in a tower. His thanes built one for him in Seattle and threw in a revolving restaurant for good measure. The end.