Strange and Mysterious Stuff from the Bible AND MYSTERIOUS STUFF FROM THE BIBLE • 15 ...

Strange and Mysterious Stuff from the Bible.indd 3 5/29/14 2:32 PM

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STRANGE AND MYSTERIOUS STUFF FROM THE BIBLE Copyright © 2014 by Stephen M. Miller Published by Harvest House Publishers Eugene, Oregon 97402 www.harvesthousepublishers.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Miller, Stephen M. Strange and mysterious stuff from the Bible / Stephen M. Miller.

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CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13

1. A Virgin and a 50-Shekel Fine . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15

2. Hairy Getaway . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16

3. Ghostwalker. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16

4. Fatal Phonetics. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17

5. Moses Takes the Scenic Route. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18

6. How to Get Rid of House Mold . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19

7. Solomon, King of Cheapskates . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19

8. Jewish Entitlements. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20

9. Lions Refuse to Eat a Vegetarian . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20

10. Don’t Call Him Bunny . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21

11. Killer Sermon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22

12. Killer Granny . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22

13. Jews on the Giving End of a Holocaust . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23

14. Jewish Orphan Stops a Holocaust . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24

15. Why the Good Die Young. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25

16. Is the Antichrist an End-Time Myth?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25

17. Rome’s Mark of the Beast. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26

18. Out-of-Body Traveler. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27

19. Temporarily Dead . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28

20. God Kills 70, 000 Jews for One Man’s Sin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29

21. Raiders of the Lost Ark . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29

22. A Toddler Named Tragedy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30

23. Israel’s Founding Father, the Heel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31

24. Hell—a Picnic in the Park? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31

25. Cannibal Cooking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32

26. To the Jealous Husband: Cheers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33

27. Armageddon: A Battle Not in the Bible? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34

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28. When the Bible Calls God “Satan” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35

29. Feeding-Trough Bed: Baby Safe. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35

30. When Patience Runs Dry . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36

31. A Drop-Dead Donation to the Church. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37

32. Drought-Proof Desert Country . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38

33. Judas: Jesus’s Treasurer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39

34. Unforgivable: Dissing the Holy Spirit . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39

35. Solomon’s Mom: King David’s Mistress . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41

36. Temple: Occupied . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42

37. Baldy’s Bear Revenge . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43

38. A Prophet Gives Mouth-to-Mouth CPR . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44

39. Waiting for Elijah’s Big Comeback . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44

40. Here’s Mud in Your Eye . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46

41. Kosher: Surrogate Moms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47

42. Did Jesus Only Pretend to Die? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48

43. Vicious Empire of Girlie Men . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48

44. Handwriting on the Wall . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49

45. Chickenhearted General. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50

46. Dictated Prophecy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51

47. Paul’s Visit to Paradise . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52

48. Poetry in Motion Stops the Sun . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52

49. Hosea and the Prostitute: A Match Made in Heaven . . . . . . 53

50. Grandpa Is My Daddy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54

51. Incest in the King’s House . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55

52. Father of the Jews Marries His Half Sister . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55

53. Arab Mother of the Jews. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56

54. Wise Men Follow a Star. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58

55. What to Do with a Resurrected Man . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59

56. How to Land a Husband . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60

57. Cain’s Mark of Mercy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61

58. Flood Cruise . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61

59. Ganging Up on the Gang Rapists. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62



60. Don’t Mess with a Girl Who Has 12 Brothers . . . . . . . . . . . . 63

61. Jesus: Cheers! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64

62. Curses on My Grandson . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64

63. Oh Little Town of Fishermen . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65

64. Faith That Amazed Even Jesus . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66

65. Who Stole John 5: 4? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67

66. A Mother-in-Law Worth Keeping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68

67. Battle of the Gods on Mount Carmel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68

68. Assassination Attempt: David’s Getaway . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 69

69. Sobering Up in Time for a Stroke . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70

70. How to Lose Your Head over a Lady . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70

71. The Inhospitable Herder’s Wife . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71

72. David’s Elite Strike Force . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72

73. David’s Trick for Conquering Jerusalem . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72

74. Church-Planting Strategy: Bypass Intellectuals . . . . . . . . . . . 73

75. Don’t Put This Guy on the Church Board . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 74

76. There Goes the Jewish Neighborhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75

77. Paul, Sounding like a Bigot . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75

78. Jewish Tax Dodgers: Busted . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76

79. When Iran Was Nice to Israel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77

80. Stephen King of the New Testament . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78

81. Brighter than the Desert Sun at Noon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78

82. Fight or Flight: Jews on the Run . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79

83. Philistine Secret Weapon—Not Goliath . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80

84. David the Music Therapist . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81

85. Daniel Nearly Prayed Himself to Death . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81

86. Daniel: Dragon Killer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82

87. When Resurrection Was a New Idea . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83

88. King David’s Music . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83

89. David Fights Outside His Weight Class . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 84

90. King Saul’s Most Embarrassing Moment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85

91. Advantage: Left-Handed Assassin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86



92. Lowest Spot on Earth . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86

93. Delilah Was a Lousy Girlfriend . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87

94. Samson’s Dumb Decision . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88

95. How Stoned Was Paul? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89

96. Missionary Breakup. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90

97. Looking for Eden . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90

98. The Nile: A Stream in the Desert . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91

99. Season of Plagues. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92

100. David at Home in Goliath’s Hometown . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93

101. King Saul: Priest Killer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94

102. Priests Who Slept with the Help. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95

103. Israel’s Lost Ark . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95

104. The Disappearing Army . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96

105. Samuel’s Mom Gave Him Away . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97

106. Veggies: Bad for One Jew’s Health . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98

107. Weather Forecast: Drought. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98

108. Vacuumed into Heaven . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99

109. God’s Cure for Depression . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100

110. How to Stop a River. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100

111. Free Health Care . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 101

112. The King Who Talked with the Dead . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 102

113. The Man Who Didn’t Die . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103

114. Greatest Wonder of the Ancient World . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104

115. Kicking Paul out of Town . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105

116. Call Him Red, Not Harry . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 106

117. How Iran Got a Jewish Queen . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 106

118. The Disappearing Preacher . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107

119. The First Jew Was an Iraqi. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108

120. Eve Wasn’t Her Name at First . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108

121. A Snake in Paradise. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109

122. Them Dry Bones . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110

123. A Prophet’s Shave and a Trim . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110



124. Don’t Cry, the Wife Is Dead . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111

125. Divorce Your Non-Jewish Wives. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112

126. Paul Shipwrecked in a Typhoon. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113

127. Governor on the Take . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114

128. Paul: The End. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114

129. The 500-Year-Old Angel. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115

130. Farmer Jesus? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116

131. Odd Advice from the Top Jewish Scholar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117

132. Like Father, Like Son: Liar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117

133. An Angel’s One-Liner? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118

134. Camels on the Warpath . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119

135. Fallen Hero. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120

136. God Is Not the Great Yahoo . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120

137. One God or Three? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121

138. Skull Hill . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122

139. Where to Get a Fair Trial . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123

140. Don’t Look to Hosea for Kid Names . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123

141. Sodom: Barbecued. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 124

142. When Guests Become Slaves . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125

143. Abraham Abandons Wife and Son. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 126

144. Drunk Lady in the Worship Center? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127

145. How to Shrink an Army. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127

146. How to Kill a King with a Wet Blanket . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 128

147. Heaven Can Wait. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 129

148. In Search of Purgatory . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 130

149. The First Martyred Disciple . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131

150. Death by Worms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131

151. Nightmare of Pilate’s Wife. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 132

152. King of Jews: Not a Jew . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 133

153. Secret Tunnel in Jerusalem . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 133

154. When God Changed His Mind. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 134

155. The Good King from Bad Stock . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 135



156. When Jewish Worship Got Arab Help . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 135

157. Face-to-Face with God . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 136

158. God’s Spirit on the Job . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 136

159. Wild and Crazy Driver . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 137

160. Wanted: Wife for a Momma’s Boy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 138

161. Calling In the Baby-Making B Team . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 138

162. A Name Tough to Spell in Kindergarten . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 139

163. Three Years Naked . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 139

164. When Israel Was a Man . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 141

165. Jews Worship Gold Calves, Part 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 141

166. Rachel’s Request: Aphrodisiac . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 142

167. Wrestling God . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 143

168. Favorite Son . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 143

169. Blessings and Curses: Words You Can’t Take Back . . . . . . . 144

170. The Man Who Kissed the Woman. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 145

171. God’s Odd Choice of a Leader. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 146

172. How to Raise Spotted Sheep . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 147

173. Wives for Sale . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 148

174. Surrogate Moms Build Israel’s 12 Tribes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 148

175. Father of the Jews: Stuffed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 149

176. Jesus Called Them “Sons of Thunder” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 150

177. Family Intervention for Crazy Jesus . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 151

178. The Jesus Dynasty. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 151

179. Who Stole the Trinity? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 152

180. Teenage King’s Only Legacy: Surrender . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 153

181. Lucky Shot . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 154

182. The King Wore a Bull’s-Eye . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 154

183. Seventy Heads in a Pile. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 155

184. The Hero Who Sacrificed His Daughter. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 156

185. I Don’t Wanna Be a Prophet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 156

186. The Rewritten Book of the Bible . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 157

187. David’s Great-Great-Grandma, the Hooker . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 158



188. The Bible’s Most Remarkable Prediction About Jesus . . . . . 159

189. How to Scare a Roman Soldier . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 160

190. Pretty Dead . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 160

191. King David Wasn’t a Kind Uncle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 161

192. Slave Lady Who Outsmarted Her King . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 162

193. Baal: Gone to the Potty. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 163

194. Jonah, the Unhappy Savior. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 164

195. Jonah, 40 Leagues Under the Sea. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 165

196. Two for the Promised Land . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 166

197. Shocking Discovery in the Jewish Temple. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 167

198. Cold Storage: Israel’s Most Sacred Relic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 168

199. Priest Wannabes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 169

200. Jacob’s Fertile Wife . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 169

201. Lebanon’s Claim to Fame. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 170

202. Samson Turns Himself In, Temporarily . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 171

203. Two Non-Jewish Books in the Bible. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 172

204. The Lady Who Started the Church in Europe . . . . . . . . . . . . 172

205. Tithe: Resurrecting a Jewish Law . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 173

206. Bottom-of-the-Barrel Offerings for God . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 174

207. Arab Israel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 175

208. Scum Disciple: Not Judas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 176

209. The Bible Way to Pick a Preacher. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 177

210. King Gone Wild . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 177

211. Cheers: A Toast to Jerusalem’s New Walls . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 178

212. Utilities in Heaven: Lights . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 179

213. The World’s Longest River . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 180

214. Noah’s Ark and the Cleveland Browns . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 181

215. Dwindling Lifespans . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 182

216. A Bed for a Giant . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 183

217. How to Stop a Jewish Attack. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 183

218. Stiff Penalty for Early Withdrawal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 184

219. Paul’s Oddball Version of an Underground Railroad . . . . . . 185



220. Solomon’s Mysterious Fleet of Ships. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 186

221. Jewish Palestinians . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 187

222. Paul 1, Sorcerer 0 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 188

223. The Bible Ends Here . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 188

224. One Tough Preacher. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 189

225. Paul, the Very Jewish Roman . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 190

226. A Thorn in Paul’s Side . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 191

227. Peter’s Awkward Nickname . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 192

228. What Was Paul Thinking? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 193

229. Crossing the Red Sea Without a Boat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 194

230. How to Part the Sea . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 194

231. Mysterious City of Seven Hills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 195

232. Date with an Energizing Prostitute . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 196

233. King of the Donkey Herders . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 197

234. Wise Solomon’s Dumb Side . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 198

235. Solomon’s Prefab Temple . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 199

236. Paul’s Last Request . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 199

237. When to Put a Trophy Wife on the Shelf . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 200

238. Moses Gets Quarter Pounders to Go . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 201

239. Don’t Dis God’s Stuff. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 202

240. God Decides to Kill Moses? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 203

241. Leading Chicago Through the Desert . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 203

242. PETA Would Not Approve. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 204

243. Moses Down Under . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 205

244. Keeping It Kosher on the Dinner Table . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 206

245. No Promised Land for Moses. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 207

246. The Walls Came Tumblin’ Down . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 208

247. Shady Ladies in Jesus’s Family Tree. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 209

248. Queen of Shopping. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 210

249. No-Good Northerners. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 211

250. Borg Heaven . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 211

INDEX . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 213



INTRODUCTION

Reading the Bible, as far as I’m concerned, is a bit like riding in the car to Grandpap’s house when I was a kid.

Grandpap and Granny lived in a holler about two miles off the paved road outside Tunnelton, West Virginia. Th at last stretch of road—if you could call it a road—served up one doozy of a ride. Coal trucks and Mother Nature left their mark on this dirt trail that someone sprinkled with gravel.

Dad tried to dodge the biggest potholes so the car wouldn’t bottom out, but he couldn’t miss them all. On some stretches, it felt like he hit them all.

I’d usually ride shotgun because I was the oldest of fi ve kids. Mom generally sat in the back, tending the youngest three. We’d be riding along on that coal truck trail, and suddenly the front of the car would take an elevator dip to the right or left—as though we were about to drive off the corner of the planet.

Bumpy Bible RoadI hit bumps in the road when I read the Bible. We all do. We’re

cruising along reading a fi ne little story when all of a sudden, we hit a jaw-dropper of a narrative pothole. Right out loud we might say, “In heaven’s name, what on earth is this doing in God’s holy Word?” For example…

i

13



14 • STRANGE AND MYSTERIOUS STUFF FROM THE BIBLE

• Jewish law requires a rapist to marry his virgin victim (see item number 1).

• God kills 70,000 Jews with a plague because of one man’s sin (see number 20).

• Good people die young because God is protecting them from evil (see number 15).

Well, kick me in the gut and call me a comma. It’s time for a pause.

Th is is a Bible bump book. A travelogue of sorts. It’s my best eff ort to prepare you for the road ahead, which is going to jar you from time to time. I’ll tell you what’s coming. I’ll tell you what Bible experts have to say about it. But you’re in the driver’s seat. I’ll not be telling you what to do about the road ahead.

I will ride along with you, though, to keep you company. Shotgun.Buckle up.

Stephen M. MillerStephenMillerBooks.com



STRANGE AND MYSTERIOUS STUFF FROM THE BIBLE • 15

1A Virgin and a 50-Shekel Fine

If a Jewish man raped a virgin who wasn’t engaged, or if he seduced her into having sex, Deuteronomy 22:29 said he had to…

• Pay a fi ne to her father: 50 silver shekels (1¼ pounds, or 570 grams). Th at’s about the weight of 2½ rolls of quarters or a jeans pocket full of euros.

• Marry her.

• Never divorce her.

It sounds like a cheap way to get a wife, but it was no bargain. It was the value of a man—50 shekels was the price to free a male slave; 30 shekels freed a woman (Leviticus 27:3-4).

It also sounds unfair to force a woman to marry her rapist or her seducer. But the law’s intent, some scholars say, was to pro-vide for the woman who otherwise might never have found a hus-band. In that time and culture, men looking for a wife considered non-virgin single ladies to be damaged goods. Even King David’s daughter Tamar never seemed to fi nd a husband after her half brother raped her. She moved out of the palace accommodations for royal virgins and lived with her full brother Absalom “as a des-olate woman” (2 Samuel 13:20).

By law, Jewish women couldn’t divorce men. But men could divorce women for nothing more than “having discovered some-thing wrong with her” (Deuteronomy 24:1). Th e unhappy hus-band wrote his wife a letter of divorce and sent her on her way.

But not so in the marriage of a man who raped or seduced a vir-gin. For that couple, it was “till death do us part.”




The word used in the original Hebrew language to describe the rape is actually a broader word. It’s closer to coercion, most scholars say. That could imply rape, seduction, or harassment and badgering—as in, “If you really loved me…”

2Hairy Getaway

Th e militia of Israel’s future king, David, attacked a raiding party of invading nomads, killing all of them except “400 young men who fl ed on camels” (1 Samuel 30:17).

Upload that as an Internet video, and it would go viral. Imagine 400 bad guys jumping on camels and plodding off into the night—a thundering, thumping getaway in long-legged slow motion.

Some might wonder, “Why not just run?”Camels are faster. In a short burst, they can zip 40 mph (64

kph). Th at’s about twice as fast as a top Olympic sprinter, or about as fast as your average Eagle Scout on the run from a skunk.

3Ghostwalker

“It’s a ghost!” (Matthew 14:26). Th at’s what Jesus’s disciples screamed when they saw something

walking toward them—on the water, during a storm, at three in the morning—while they were rowing for their lives, “fi ghting heavy waves” (verse 24).

Many Jews believed in ghosts. Th ese Jews may have fi gured they had lost their battle against the storm and the ghost was com-ing to take them into the afterlife.



STRANGE AND MYSTERIOUS STUFF FROM THE BIBLE • 17

Th is wasn’t the only time the disciples mistook Jesus for a ghost. When he showed up after his crucifi xion, “the whole group was startled and frightened, thinking they were seeing a ghost!” (Luke 24:37).

A ghost actually visited King Saul. It came the night before Saul’s doomed battle with the Philistines. Th e spirit of the dead prophet Samuel appeared with depressing news: “Tomorrow…you and your sons will be here with me” (1 Samuel 28:19). Th at story—famous among the Jews—might explain why the rowing disciples weren’t happy about seeing a spirit approaching them like a rogue wave.

4Fatal Phonetics

A hill-country accent cost 42,000 Jews their lives. Th ey dropped their h’s—a bit like some British folks do today. “If I had a hammer” becomes “If I ’ad a ’ammer.”

One Jewish hero back in the days of Samson and Gideon took advantage of this accent. He used it to target his enemies—Jews from the tribe of Ephraim, in the hills of central Israel. His name was Jephthah. He hated Ephraimites because they refused to join his militia and help him fi ght off an enemy in what is now the Arab country of Jordan.

Jephthah captured a shallow ford that travelers used to cross the Jordan River (they didn’t have bridges back then). He charged an unusual toll—travelers had to pronounce the word Shibboleth.

No one today seems to know what that word meant. It was a tongue-twister for Jews from Ephraim. Most couldn’t pronounce it. Th ey died trying. Th e closest they could get was Sibboleth( Judges 12:6).




5Moses Takes the Scenic Route

Moses and the Exodus Jews took 40 years to make a two-week trip. “Normally it takes only eleven days to travel from Mount Sinai to Kadesh-barnea” (Deuteronomy 1:2).

Mount Sinai, in Egypt’s Sinai Peninsula, is where Moses and the Jews camped for about a year after crossing the Red Sea. Th at’s where Moses organized the 12 tribes into a nation with the laws he said God had given him.

Kadesh is an oasis near Israel’s southern border, in what is now Egypt. Th is is where many scholars say Moses and the Jews spent most of their 40-year sentence.

God had sentenced them to 40 years in the badlands because they couldn’t muster a speck of faith in spite of all the miracles they had seen God do for them. Th ey refused to invade what is now Israel after their scouts came back with warnings about walled cit-ies and giants.

God decided the invasion could wait for Generation Two.In fact, the only two adults from Exodus Generation One who

lived long enough to step foot on the Promised Land were Joshua and Caleb. Th ey were the two scouts who had recommended that the Jews invade in spite of the walled cities and giants (Deuteron-omy 1:36,38).



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