alcfezbook.com • facebook.com/ALC.Fes.ALIF Volume VII, Issue VI • March/April 2016 STUDENT V ICE THE AMERICAN LANGUAGE CENTER • FES Meryem Sabor Advanced 6 The Architecture of Shame Shame seems to be such a short word, though what those five letters mean is un- speakable. You can never know what shame is; however, the deeper you dig, the more you become immersed in what it is and maybe the more confused you get. It isn’t some kind of word whose defi- nition in a dictionary helps you figure out what it is. It’s like a tree with numerous roots. For instance, if we search for the word shame in the online dictionary, we will find this: “A painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace.” You see here the use of the word guilt. In this definition, they are saying that feel- ing shame is actually related to feeling guilty about doing something shameful or worthy of contempt, but this isn’t always the case. I mean that guilt is borderline related to shame when we actually have done something wrong, and then we feel ashamed of it. But shame isn’t just that, is it? e architecture of shame is way more than that. e more you discover, the more you become aware of how complicated it is. Shame is designed in a way that is ap- pealing to most people. ey see shame as a refuge from all outside storms. With shame, you can’t give a name to yourself, but in the shadows you will remain. e architecture of shame is poisonous. It is a kind of wall that holds you back whenever you try to move forward; it is the venom that gnaws your body and soul, and the motto that is so haunting that it becomes, “Don’t even try. Stay where you are. ey will laugh at you.” So, you see, these voices will always be there, whispering in your ear, burning down every single shred of hope and strength you were clinging to, and that is the first step of which shame is made. And not surprisingly, many people are easy prey, for they will fall in the depth of shame. And those many people who are living with the shame of letting out their potential don’t even know that they are fac- ing shame. So when do we actually surren- der to shame? Mostly in front of a crowd of people, or when we are asked to perform some kind of presentation. e presence of a stranger is always alarming. Moreover, when people are in contact with someone new, and that newcomer actually shows so little interest in what is being said, shame comes over you so quickly that you can’t even fight it; sometimes you end up abhor- ring yourself. Fundamentally, we’ve reached the second part of shame’s architecture, which is self-criticism. You are so ashamed of yourself that you cannot bear yourself. You even start wishing that you could be al- tered on so many levels. Shame sometimes results in being taunted at school, being shunned by everyone, constantly demoral- ized and brought down. e more you are criticized, the less confident you become, and the more your shame spreads. us, with everyone else criticizing you, you just end up criticizing yourself and feeling the shame that slowly kills your creativity, too. For instance, in the music field, a star cannot have a decent career if they don’t pay all their dues. ey feel this because of not being recognized. Let me be clear—they are not ashamed of themselves; they are ashamed because no one knows them yet, but they know that they will soon be a big hit. Yes, they know it, and they don’t allow any room for self-criticism; on the contrary, they don’t hesitate to get their foot in the door. Overall, shame is problematic. In the architecture of shame, it always has un- pleasant results. It sometimes contributes to unhinging oneself and making others’ reactions more frantic. As I have said, shame springs from thoughts of fear, from not being good enough and not pleasing others; thus, ev- eryone thinks they have to be perfect when they don’t have to. Perfection is beyond reach, so you can’t keep looking for per- fection in order to please others, and thus feel no shame by pleasing them. ey will never be pleased no matter what you do; they will always find a way to let you down. You can’t let others monitor your life and embody your fear. is will only result in your feeling ashamed of yourself. Free yourself from the capture of shame and get your foot in the door of everything; free yourself from those haunting lines and enjoy living the metamorphosis, which will unquestionably make you feel your best. All photos via Creative Commons / top left, c/o SLR-Jester / top right, c/os carlet-kiss
Transcript
alcfezbook.com • facebook.com/ALC.Fes.ALIF Volume VII, Issue VI • March/April 2016
STUDENT V ICETHE AMERICAN LANGUAGE CENTER • FES
Meryem SaborAdvanced 6
The Architecture of Shame Shame seems to be such a short word, though what those five letters mean is un-speakable. You can never know what shame is; however, the deeper you dig, the more you become immersed in what it is and maybe the more confused you get. It isn’t some kind of word whose defi-nition in a dictionary helps you figure out what it is. It’s like a tree with numerous roots. For instance, if we search for the word shame in the online dictionary, we will find this: “A painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace.” You see here the use of the word guilt. In this definition, they are saying that feel-ing shame is actually related to feeling guilty about doing something shameful or worthy of contempt, but this isn’t always the case. I mean that guilt is borderline related to shame when we actually have done something wrong, and then we feel ashamed of it. But shame isn’t just that, is it? The architecture of shame is way more than that. The more you discover, the more you become aware of how complicated it is. Shame is designed in a way that is ap-pealing to most people. They see shame as a refuge from all outside storms. With shame, you can’t give a name to yourself, but in the shadows you will remain. The architecture of shame is poisonous. It is a kind of wall that holds you back whenever
you try to move forward; it is the venom that gnaws your body and soul, and the motto that is so haunting that it becomes, “Don’t even try. Stay where you are. They will laugh at you.” So, you see, these voices will always be there, whispering in your ear, burning down every single shred of hope and strength you were clinging to, and that is the first step of which shame is made. And not surprisingly, many people are easy prey, for they will fall in the depth of shame. And those many people who are living with the shame of letting out their potential don’t even know that they are fac-ing shame. So when do we actually surren-der to shame? Mostly in front of a crowd of people, or when we are asked to perform some kind of presentation. The presence of a stranger is always alarming. Moreover, when people are in contact with someone new, and that newcomer actually shows so little interest in what is being said, shame comes over you so quickly that you can’t even fight it; sometimes you end up abhor-ring yourself. Fundamentally, we’ve reached the second part of shame’s architecture, which is self-criticism. You are so ashamed of yourself that you cannot bear yourself. You even start wishing that you could be al-tered on so many levels. Shame sometimes results in being taunted at school, being shunned by everyone, constantly demoral-ized and brought down. The more you are criticized, the less confident you become, and the more your shame spreads. Thus, with everyone else criticizing
you, you just end up criticizing yourself and feeling the shame that slowly kills your creativity, too. For instance, in the music field, a star cannot have a decent career if they don’t pay all their dues. They feel this because of not being recognized. Let me be clear—they are not ashamed of themselves; they are ashamed because no one knows them yet, but they know that they will soon be a big hit. Yes, they know it, and they don’t allow any room for self-criticism; on the contrary, they don’t hesitate to get their foot in the door. Overall, shame is problematic. In the architecture of shame, it always has un-pleasant results. It sometimes contributes to unhinging oneself and making others’ reactions more frantic. As I have said, shame springs from thoughts of fear, from not being good enough and not pleasing others; thus, ev-eryone thinks they have to be perfect when they don’t have to. Perfection is beyond reach, so you can’t keep looking for per-fection in order to please others, and thus feel no shame by pleasing them. They will never be pleased no matter what you do; they will always find a way to let you down. You can’t let others monitor your life and embody your fear. This will only result in your feeling ashamed of yourself. Free yourself from the capture of shame and get your foot in the door of everything; free yourself from those haunting lines and enjoy living the metamorphosis, which will unquestionably make you feel your best.
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interview & news Send your writings to [email protected]. Include your name and level at the ALC.
Congratulations to the Winter 2016 ALC-Fes Merit Scholars
Every ALC-Fes Merit Scholar receives a 100-percent reduction in tuition for one term because of his or her outstanding academic performance.
Student Voice: Where are you from? Are you originally from Fez?Si-Jawhari: I’m from Al Hoceima, origi-nally.SV: Tell us about your life as a student. Where did you study? What did you study?SJ: I did elementary school and Msid Quranic school in the Old Medina of Fez. For middle school, I attended Lycèe Ibn Khaldoun in Fez, and for high school, I attended Lycée Moulay Idriss in Fez. I went to the University Sidi Mohamed Ben Abdullah in Fez and did my post-graduate studies at the University of Kent in the U.K.SV: Have you ever lived outside Morocco?SJ: I spent 2 years in the UK.SV: How long have you been teaching at the ALC?SJ: Since 1988.SV: How long have you been a teacher in life?SJ: Since 1978. I have been a Teacher and a Supervisor (Inspector of English) in dif-ferent parts of Morocco.SV: When did you decide to become a teach-er? Why did you choose teaching?SJ: When I majored in English at he Uni-versity of Fez. It’s a fascinating job.SV: What do you enjoy most about teaching?SJ: When I see what I achieve and how happy my students are.
SV: Describe your teaching style in three words.SJ: It’ll take more than that! It’s not that simple!SV: How is teaching at the ALC different from teaching at other schools?SJ: The number of students per class is re-duced and the interest that students have to learn the English language makes your job easier.SV: What is the role of a teacher in the class-room?SJ: To help students, especially those who are behind, and to make students love the language.SV: What qualities do good teachers have?SJ: Be a good listener and be patient. And never take things for granted.SV: What qualities do good students have?SJ: A good memory. Daring. Respectful.SV: If you weren’t teaching English, what would you be doing?SJ: Teaching English.SV: What’s your least favorite word or phrase in the English language?SJ: “I can’t do it.”SV: What word or phrase do you overuse?SJ: I can’t tell, but maybe my students can.SV: What is your motto?SJ: “Be ambitious. Never give up.”
A Best Friend What is a best friend? How should he be? Trustworthy, helpful, kind…I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. The most impor-tant thing is that he should be understand-ing. He has to cheer you up when you’re in trouble and to always be there for you. A best friend shouldn’t judge you; he should accept you. He’s the person who draws a smile on your face when fear makes you forget how to do it, the person who takes your hand when you are lost in problems, the person who erases your past mistakes and teaches you the best way to walk far away from them. With him, you can share your opin-ions and secrets and easily spend the most beautiful moments of your life together. He’s the pillow that makes you strong. A best friend is part of you, and a part of your life.
Zineb MaghnoujJuniors 11 Advanced
submitting teacher: Jennifer Wendel
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FIND YOUR VOICE . Like Student Voice at facebook.com/alcstudentvoice.
In my opinion, having sisters is better than having brothers. It doesn’t seem so weird because I’m a girl! But, I strongly be-lieve that sisters are nicer than brothers, and of course, sisters are cuter than brothers! Well, brothers might be more protec-tive than sisters, but boys can also be less understanding than girls. Anyway, sisters are more fun than brothers, and talking to them is less boring. We can talk about dif-ferent things! However, brothers are better than sisters sometimes, if only because they won’t steal your things!
wonderful, but as teenagers, we also have responsibilities, like cleaning our rooms, doing homework, and learning for exams. In fact, children can watch cartoons and play whenever they want, and they don’t have to learn. But, being a child has inconveniences, too. Children can’t be responsible for a lot of things. Personally, when I realized that I wasn’t a child any-more, I was happy with my new life and a lot of new experiences that I hadn’t tried before.
Teenage LifeSamy RhmiroJuniors 9 Advanced
Life is full of good and bad things. That’s why we should enjoy every single day and every single moment. Being a child is not as inconvenient as being a teenager, but I’d rather be a teenager, because it’s a new experience to try, a new life to live. Life as a teenager is full of good moments: hang-ing out with friends, texting with them, and having parties. All of these things are
Common Family
ProblemsSamir BounasrIntermediate 2
Most families have a lot of awkward problems that have a bad impact on both parents and children. As a case in point, kids hardly help with housework, and they always text each other. In addition to that, they never give importance to their parents’ advice. Moreover, they eat too much junk food, and they usually leave everything un-til the last minute. The same thing goes with the behavior of kids toward their parents. Many times, parents tend to be strict toward their chil-dren, and this strictness may sometimes go beyond the limits their children can toler-ate. For instance, many parents make some rules for their kids, and if they fail, they ground them. In addition to that, they sometimes embarrass them in front of their friends. More than that, more parents don’t let their kids make their own decisions.
Samir Bounasr Intermediate 2
We are all human. We like to be socia-ble in our society, and no one can deny that friendship has a pretty priceless value in our daily lives. But it is sometimes very helpful to keep away from many relationships. In fact, not all people must be accepted as our friends. To illustrate, I was accustomed to al-ways spending time with my shadow friend. He was next to me all the time for the more than two years that I knew him. He used to be nice and fairly sociable, but it was just a dreadful act that I would never have imag-ined myself to be in. He was such a deceit-ful wolf-human that played his good act, as
it should have been. I realized that he had done the same thing with others, but as it is said, “a smile is always in style.” I believed it is a totally true saying, as I told him one day. (It amazes me that nobody realizes how sad they actually are. I think that all of our fake laughs and smiles really do their job.) People who start with a smile and ask you for a cup of coffee are just profiteers. I like the quote, “a true friend doesn’t stab you in the back,” because this exactly cor-responds with reality. Moreover, it is killing me to see how people in such a knowledge-able society can do such unexpected things like this. Finally, we have to stop these fake friends before things get very bad.
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poetry & puzzle “Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity” Khalil Gibran, Lebanese-American poet and writer
The American Language Center-Fes • 2, Rue Ahmed Hiba, B.P. 2136, Fes • phone: 05. 35. 62. 48. 50Student Voice editors: Taoufik El-Ayachi, Jennifer Wendel, and Liz Yaslik • alcfezbook.com • facebook.com/ALC.Fes.ALIF
When I die,I know it’ll be hard,But it will happen one day.Please, family and friends,Don’t feel sorry,Don’t cry,Because it’s time to leave,And nobody will stay.
I’m really afraid,But there is no way.I will disappearIn front of your eyes.Something will make me glad,So smile, andDon’t cry!When I go far awayFrom your world and life,Pretend I’m with you,And live the lie.
If you miss me one day,Just look at the sky.I will hear you,But I won’t answer.Please, just go on andDon’t ask why,Because a dead body Can’t speak to say,It was just my role That I acted in life’s play.Since my role is finished,It’s time to say goodbye.
I really love to see you smile.When I leave,Don’t cry!
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