Style & Structurea presentation on improving writing skills

A Few Stylistic Words of Wisdom

• “You have none.” (Sheanne Cox)

• “Fashions fade - style is eternal.” (Yves St. Laurent)

• “Style is a simple way of saying complicated things.” (Jean Cocteau)

• “Proper words in proper places, make the true definition of style.” (Jonathan Swift)

The Power of Language

she drove over the cat.

Calmly,

Shrieking with joy, AverageBetterExcellent!

So How Do We Get From This…

THE POLAR BEARThe Polar Bear lives in the Arctic. It is big and white and can grow up to three metres long. It eats seals and dead animals. It sleeps in a den with its cubs. Polar Bears hibernate in the winter. The Polar Bear is a neat animal.

…To This?

THE WHITE KING OF THE NORTHLurking in the vast hinterland of the Arctic wastes is one of nature’s most commanding creatures: the Polar Bear. This savage and unpredictable species of Ursis Major, which resides solely in the far reaches of the North, is characterized by white fur and can measure up to three metres in length. Dependent upon seals, small game, and occasionally even carrion, the bear also forages for fruits and berries in the summer months….

The Answer is Simple!

SentenceOpeners

Dressups Decorations Triple Extensions

WRITING STYLE

Outlining Rules

1) Left side of page

2) Header

3) Topic sentence with Roman Numeral

4) Number supporting ideas

5) Clincher statement

John Smith

Language Arts 9

October 13, 2005

THE EFFECTS OF GEOGRAPHY ON INDIAN CIVILIZATION

I. The Himalayan Mountains

1. Description:

a) tallest mountains in world

b) protective arch, India northern border

c) rugged terrain, difficult crossing

CLINCHER: formidable wall of protection

2. Effects on civilization:

a) barrier to invasions

b) isolates India, trade, progress

c) slows onset of industrialization

CLINCHER: unique, independent culture

I. Sentence Openers

The six basic methods of beginning a sentence can be classified as follows:

1. Subject opener2. Prepositional opener3. Adverb opener (“-ly)4. Verbal opener (“-ing/-ed”)5. Clausal opener6. VSS (very short sentence)

Sentence Openers#1 - Subject

A subject opener sentence follows the SUBJECT + PREDICATE sentence pattern.

E.g. Frodo traveled through the treacherous lands of Middle Earth on his mission to destroy Sauron’s ring.

Sentence Openers#2 - Prepositional

A preposition is a word that shows the relationship of a noun or pronoun to some

other word in the sentence.(E.g., in, on, under, between)

E.g. In the stifling heat of the Maycomb courtroom, Atticus Finch rose to present his case for Tom Robinson.

Sentence Openers#3 - Adverb

An adverb modifies a verb, an adjective, or another adverb. They typically answer the questions when or how something is done.

E.g. Hideously absorbed in her own hate, the witch plotted young Dorothy’s demise.

Sentence Openers#4 - Verbal (“-ing/-ed” & “To ___”)

A verbal is a form of a verb usedused as another part of speech. Participles,

gerunds, and infinitives are three verbal types. (See the WALL CHART)

E.g. To find his lost son, Nemo’s father has to recruit the help of the absent-minded Dory. Working together, they eventually find the wayward clown fish.

Sentence Openers#5 - Clausal

A subordinate (dependent) clause has both a subject and verb, but does not express a complete thought, and cannot stand alone.

Clausal openers typically begin with when, while, where, as, if, although, or because. (www.asia + b)

E.g. Although Buttercup repeatedly mistreats him, Westley continues to express his love, declaring “As you wish,” to each of her commands.

Sentence Openers#6 - VSS

VSS stands for “very short sentence”. Such sentences

are like an extreme close-up in film: they highlight an idea, emotion, etc.

E.g. Spider-man winced. Could he save the girl in time?

Sentence Openers- Problem Areas?

Some final words of advice:

Students seem to have the most trouble with learning openers.

Watch use of adverb openers. A common problem is beginning with an awkward adverb selection.

E.g., Delightfully the Polar Bear lives in the Arctic.

Also remember that not all words that end in “-ly” are adverbs, but adjectives.

E.g., early, lovely, shapely, etc.

Confusion sometimes occurs with “-ing”openers.

Students might begin with a such a word, but it could function as a subject opener.

E.g., Skiing is my favourite sport. (#1)

Skiing down the mountain, I passed a grazing deer. (#4)

Ensure students properly number the sentences in their drafts in the left-hand margin. If more than one sentence exists in one line, record both numbers, separating with a comma.

II. Dressups

The six basic methods of dressing up a sentence can be classified as follows:

1. Adverb (“-ly”)2. Quality adjectives (dual)3. Quality verbs (dual)4. Because clause5. Who/which clause6. www.asia (when, while, where, as, since, if, although)

Dressups#1 - Adverb (“-ly”)

Motioning with an outstretched finger, E.T. laconically proclaimed, “E.T. phone home!”

Dressups#2 - Quality Adjectives

Looking ever suave and debonair,

Humphrey Bogart exclaimed, “Here’s looking at you, kid.”

Dressups#3 - Quality Verbs

Q furrowed his brow in mock anger as 007 requisitioned yet another Aston Martin automobile.

Dressups#4 - Because Clause

Shrek demanded the fairy tale squatters remove

themselves from his swamp because

of deep-seated insecurities and intense agoraphobia.

Dressups#5 - Who/Which Clause

The new hotel and casino deal, which had been engineered by Michael Corleone, was in danger of collapse. “I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse,” said the bemused mafia don.

Dressups#6 - www.asia

www.asia is an acronym for adverbial clauses

beginning with “when, while, where, as, since, if, although”.

E.g. Windex is excellent for cleaning windows, although others use it to cure all ails.

Dressups

Some final words of advice:

Ensure students underline their sentence dressups in rough drafts of writing. In typewritten drafts, indicate by bold-facing the dressup. I do not have my students label

their stylistic choices in final draft writing.

In dressup #5 (the who/which) clause, I recommend students drop the “who” or “which” once they understand the technique.

E.g., John Smith, who is a resident of Stirling, witnessed the accident.

John Smith, a resident of Stirling, witnessed the accident.

Create adverbial “teeter-totters”.

(Adverbial: dual adverbs “-ly” before the verb with an adverbial clause following).

dual “-lys” when, where, as, if since, or although

verb

E.g., The fox secretly and silently laughed as the crow began to sing.

Create adjectival “teeter-totters”.

(Adjectival: dual adjectives before a noun with an adjective clause following).

dual adjectives who/which clause

noun

E.g., The hare scoffed at the humble and lethargic tortoise who had challenged him.

III. Decorations

The six basic types of decorations can be classified as:

1. Question2. Dialogue3. 3sss (short staccato sentences)4. Dramatic opening & closing5. Simile, metaphor, allusion6. Alliteration

Decorations#1 - Question

What can one learn from his parents? When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand him. But when I turned twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he had learned in seven years.

What is human life? The first third a good time; the rest remembering about it.

Decorations#2 - Dialogue/Conversation

Carlyle once said, “A lie cannot live.” It shows he didn’t know

how to tell them.

Decorations#3 - 3sss

4:3:2 Killer bees invaded America. Viciously they attacked. Humans

perished.

3:3:3 Savage bees attacked. Violently they killed. Nobody was spared.

2:2:2 Bees invaded. They marauded. Humans died.

Decorations#4 - Dramatic Opening/Closing

- a short dramatic sentence (vss) before the topic

sentence, combined with another dramatic vss after the clincher sentence. E.g., Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society. (Mark Twain)E.g., Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah didn’t miss the boat.E.g., Familiarity breeds contempt--and children.

Decorations#5 - Figures of Speech

Simile: You are as a candle, the better part burnt out.

Metaphor: Training is everything… cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Allusion: The friendly bank managers of today make Shylock seem like a generous

fellow.

Personification: The pencil groaned in my fingertips as I finished the last sentence on my test.

Decorations#6 - Alliteration

Alliteration involves two or more words (preferably three) beginning with the same letter or sound. Alliteratives may be occasionally separated by one or more words.

E.g., big, beautiful butterflies…

Clumsily he clawed and clambered up the cliff.

Pregnant pauses can be used for dramatic effect.

Decorations- Problem Areas?

Some final words of advice:

Students will often overuse decorations in their writing, creating cumbersome and sometimes bizarre style. Once they have learned the techniques, suggest they pare back decorations to more than 2 per paragraph. Think of them as a “dash of salt or pepper” to be used to occasionally “spice things up”.

Conclusion

- Teach and drill the techniques, eventually moving away from the

6-6-6 paragraph requirements.

- Initially mark written assignments solely for stylistic choices,

then add content, organization, spelling & grammar, etc. to the rubric.

And finally:

Remember that style isn’t everything…

IT’S THE ONLY THING!