STYLE

USE THE ACTIVE VOICE

ELIMINATE JARGON

KEEP CLARITY INDEX

BELOW 40

RULES OF THUMB1. WORDS: USE CONCRETE, DIRECT WORDS, ANDREMEMBER THAT A WORD WITH THREE SYLLABLESIS A LONG WORD.2. PHRASES: AVOID JARGON AND USE ACRONYMSSPARINGLY, AFTER SPELLING THEM OUT.3. SENTENCES: COMPOSE SENTENCES THAT EXPRESS ONE IDEA. REMEMBER THAT LONG SENTENCES INCREASE READING GRADE LEVEL.4. PARAGRAPHS: KEEP PARAGRAPHS SHORT; COMPOSE PARAGRAPHS TO EXPRESS ONE TOPIC.5. MAIN ACTION: KEEP THE MAIN ACTION TO ONEPAGE, TWO PAGES MAXIMUM.

CHECKLIST FOR ACHIEVING BREVITY

a. Delete unnecessary summaries.b. Delete unnecessary quotations, data,

or tables.c. Remove repetitive clauses, sentences, and

paragraphs.d. Change the passive to active.e. Remove unneeded comparisons, descriptions,

and modifiers.f. Read your writing aloud to yourself.g. Have someone else read your writing .

ALTERNATIVE CONSTRUCTIONS

1. Attention is invited to...2. It is important to note that...3. It is necessary that...4. It must be remembered that...5. It cannot be overemphasized that...6. There is..., or There are...7. Needless to say...8. In order (for) (that)...

MONTGOMERY’S PLAN FOR THE SINGLETHRUST WAS TO BE CALLED OPERATIONMARKET GARDEN, AN OPERATION WHICHWOULD ENTAIL A BOLD AND AUDACIOUS SCHEME OF MANEUVER, LANDING AN AIRBORNE FORCE ON A SALIENT SIXTY-FOURMILES LONG AND DEEP IN ENEMY-HELD TERRITORY IN HOLLAND FOLLOWED BY A GROUND MOVEMENT OF A CORPS-SIZED MECHANIZED FORCE DRIVING FROM THE NETHERLANDS BORDER TO A LINK-UP WITHTHE AIRBORNE FORCES AND A SUBSEQUENT THRUST INTO THE HEART OF GERMANY.

REASONS FOR THE ACTIVE VOICE

• IT IS CLEAR.

• IT IS BRIEF

• IT PLACES RESPONSIBILITY.

• IT IS PERSONAL

SENTENCE CONSTRUCTION: VOICE

1. Frankie shot Johnny.

2. Johnny was shot.

3. Johnny was shot by Frankie.

ACTIVE OR PASSIVE VOICE

* WHEN THE SUBJECT ACTS, THEVERB IS ACTIVE.

* WHEN THE SUBJECT IS ACTEDUPON, THE VERB IS PASSIVE.

** EFFECTIVE ARMY WRITING IS ACTIVE.

PASSIVE VOICE

The passive voice consists of a form ofthe verb “to be” plus the past participle.

is given, are chosen, was counseled

TAKE TOOK TAKEN Present Past Past participle

PASSIVE VOICE

Passive construction is only appropriate if theactor is unknown or unimportant.

EXAMPLE: The fuel handling operation IS CONDUCTED by remote control.

APPROPRIATE PASSIVE VOICE

Christmas is celebrated on December 25th.

The Bradley was designed to provide maximum firepower, protection, and mobility.

I have been assigned to your unit.

INAPPROPRIATEPASSIVE VOICE

At about 0230 hours, it was reported thatthe motor pool gate key had not been returned;efforts were made to locate and secure it.

3 CURES FOR THE PASSIVE VOICE

1. PUT THE ACTOR BEFORE THE VERB.

Example:

--Appropriate clothing will be worn for all personnel.

--All personnel will wear appropriate clothing.

3 CURES FOR THE PASSIVE VOICE

2. DROP PART OF THE VERB.

Example:--All students are known to own personal

computers.

--All students own personal computers.

3 CURES FOR THE PASSIVE VOICE

3. CHANGE THE VERB.

Example:--Personnel are prohibited from smoking

during refueling operations.

--Personnel can not smoke during refuelingoperations.

CLARITY INDEX

THE CLARITY INDEX IS A QUICK, USEFUL WAY TO EVALUATE WHAT WE’VE WRITTEN. IT GIVES US A NUMERICAL INDICATION OF THEREADABILITY OF A PIECE OF WRITING.

CLARITY INDEX FORMULA-CHOOSE A SAMPLE OF ABOUT 200 WORDS.-COUNT THE NUMBER OF SENTENCES.-DIVIDE THE NUMBER OF WORDS BY THE NUMBER OF SENTENCES.-THE RESULT IS THE AVERAGE SENTENCE LENGTH.-COUNT THE NUMBER OF LONG WORDS.-DIVIDE THE NUMBER OF LONG WORDS BY THE TOTAL NUMBER OF WORDS. -THE RESULT IS THE PERCENTAGE OF LONG WORDS.-ADD THE AVERAGE SENTENCE LENGTH TO THE PERCENTAGE OF LONG WORDS. THE SUM IS THE CLARITY INDEX.-MULTIPLY THE CLARITY INDEX BY .4; THIS WILL GIVE YOU THE READING GRADE LEVEL.

OPERATION MARKET GARDEN

Montgomery’s plan for the single thrust was to be called Operation Market Garden, an operation whichwould entail a bold and audacious scheme of maneuver, landing an airborne force on a salient sixty-four miles long and deep into enemy-held territory inHolland followed by a ground movement of a corps-sized mechanized force driving from the Netherlandsborder to a link-up with the airborne forces and a subsequent thrust into the heart of Germany.

OPERATION MARKET GARDEN--RGL

TOTAL WORDS: 73SENTENCES: 1AVERAGE SENTENCE LENGTH: 73LONG WORDS: 12PERCENTAGE OF LONG WORDS: 16%CLARITY INDEX: 89READING GRADE LEVEL: 35.6

OPERATION MARKET GARDEN--REWRITE

Montgomery’s audacious plan for a single thrustinto the heart of Germany was Operation Market Garden. It would entail landing an airborne force ona salient sixty-four miles long and deep into enemy-held territory in Holland. A ground movement of acorps-sized mechanized force, driving from the Netherlands border, would link up with the airborne force to then move into Germany.

OPERATION MARKET GARDEN REWRITE--RGL

TOTAL NUMBER OF WORDS: 61.NUMBER OF SENTENCES: 3.AVERAGE SENTENCE LENGTH: 20.33.NUMBER OF LONG WORDS: 11.PERCENTAGE OF LONG WORDS: 18%.CLARITY INDEX: 38.READING GRADE LEVEL: 15.2.