Summary Slide• Understanding the dynamics of

bullying• Developing a program to prevent

bullying

Understanding and Understanding and Preventing BullyingPreventing BullyingUnderstanding and Understanding and Preventing BullyingPreventing Bullying

Jamie’s Story

• Jamie’s qualities which may have made her a target.

• The Events• The Ramifications• Jamie Today

Something to think about….

“When I was a young boy, the bully called me names, stole my bicycle, forced me off the playground. He made fun of me in front of other children, forced me to turn over my lunch money each day, threatened to give me a black eye if I told adult authority figures. At different times I was subject to a wide range of degradation and abuse—de-pantsing, spit in my face, forced to eat the playground dirt…To this day, their handprints, like a slap on the face, remain stark and defined on my soul.”

Eric E. RofesMaking Our Schools Safe for

Sissies

A Letter Written by a Stanton 8th Grader

Dear Editor,I am an 8th grade that lives with a disability and people of all types pick on, tease, make fun of, and bully me because I am different. I am not a liar. I am not rude. I am not stupid. I am not weird and I am not a bully. I wish they could see this in me and accept that I am just a little different. When people bully me, they don’t realize how bad it hurts me and make me feel bad.

Things you should know…

• Being a victim of a bully is not a normal part of growing up. Do not dismiss it as such.

• The victim can suffer devastating effects from the experience.

• There is a connection between bullying and other forms of violence.

What is Bullying?• A deliberate hostility and aggression

towards a “victim”• Inflicting physical, verbal or emotional

abuse on another individual. Attacks can be direct or indirect.

• The goal is to gain control over the other individual.

• Victims are usually only chosen because they are seen as “easy targets.”

In other words…• Bullying is when someone keeps doing

or saying things to have power over another person. This could be:– Calling them names– Saying or writing nasty things about them– Leaving them out of activities– Not talking to them– Taking or damaging their things– Hitting or kicking them– Making them do things they don’t want to

do.

The Bullying Circle

Defender of The Victim

PossibleDefender

DisengagedOnlooker

Passive Supporter

Fellow Henchmen

Bully/Bullies

The Victim

In the Elementary School…

• The victim is usually younger and smaller than the bully.

• It is usually very physical in nature.• Boys are more likely to be the

bullies.• Both girls and boys can be victims.

In the Middle School…• The bullies and victims are usually

the same age.• Boys are more likely to be both the

bullies and the victims. This can sometimes get physical.

• Girls are more likely to verbally harass someone than to be physical.

In the High School…• The victims are usually somehow

seen as inferior to other students. The victims are seen as “different.”

• Boys and girls alike take part in bullying.

Cyber Bullying• Cyber Bullying is when a child is

tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed, or otherwise targeted by another using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies or cell phones.

More on Cyber Bulling• Cyber bullying is usually not a one

time communication.• Cyber bullying can result in losing ISP

or IM accounts and can also arise to level of a misdemeanor cyberharrassment charge or in the result of juvenile delinquency.

A good classroom resource is:

http://www.netsmartz.org/resources/reallife.htm

http://www.netsmartz.org/resources/reallife.htm

Statistics on Bullying…• One out of four children

is bullied.• One out of five children

admits to being a bully.• 8% of students miss 1

day of school per month for fear of bullies.

• It is estimated that adults intervene only 4% of the time.

• 43% of students surveyed fear harassment in the bathroom at school.

• 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month.

• 1/3 of students surveyed said they have heard another student threaten to kill someone.

Profile of the Bully• Bullies have learned from past

experience that they can get what they want from others by picking on them.

• Bullies gain a certain level of respect and admiration of their peers through bullying acts.

• Those who are strong and powerful in our society are admired.

Children who bully….• Tend to have average or above average

self-esteem.• Are impulsive, hot-headed personalities• Lack empathy• Have difficulty following rules• Have positive attitudes toward

violence.

Short Term Effects of Being a Bully

• Bullies report having an easier time making friends.

• They have at least a small group of friends who support or encourage them.

• They have friends who also bully.

Long Term Effects of Being a Bully

• Bullying often leads to more serious acts of delinquency and criminal activity such as theft and vandalizing.

• Bullies are more likely to use drugs and alcohol.

Who are the “victims?”What traits do they

share?• Children who are considered younger, weaker or sicker

by their peers.• They are sometimes loners.• They are somehow seen as different by their peers

(mental or physical handicaps.)• They are seen as “uncool.”• Sometimes it is someone the bully admires or wants to

be like. They want to “knock them down a few pegs” to make themselves feel better.

• They are less likely to stand up for themselves and are thought of as “weak.”

Short Term Effects of Being a Victim…

• Being a victim causes stress which can be in the form of anxiety and fear.

• Many children develop a strong dislike of school. Their concentration on schoolwork is distracted.

• Many victims begin to mistrust all their peers at school and have problems making friends.

• Victims can develop feelings of low self-esteem.• Victims can develop depression or physical

illness.

Long Term Effects of Being a Victim…

• If bullying continues for a prolonged period:– Some feel compelled to take drastic measures such

as bringing weapons to school. – Some commit a violent act on themselves or others.

• If the bullying issue is resolved:– Most victims of bullying do well in school and are

able to make friends as they grow older.– Most victims, if they receive support from adults,

survive the experience of being bullied without long term effects.

The Bystanders• Those who witness bullying can feel

guilty or helpless for not standing up to the bully on behalf of their classmate or reporting the incident.

• They often respond to the pressure of the bully by joining the act to fit in.

• They often end their friendship with the victim to avoid losing status or becoming targets themselves.

Why stop bullying?• Bullies are five times more likely to

become adult criminals as non bullies.• Targets of bullying are more likely to be

depressed as adults.• Preventing bullying reduces rates of

fighting, theft, vandalism and truancy.• Preventing bullying improves school

climate.

What do we usually do about bullying?

• Deny it happened. Tell the victim that he/she didn’t mean it or that the victim misunderstood.

• Blame the victim. Tell the victim to act or dress more like the other students.

• Tell the victim to ignore it.• Tell the victim to stand up for

him/herself.

What should we do about bullying?

• We should develop a plan of comprehensive intervention which provides for:– A behavior plan which uses consecutive

consequences.– Help for bullies to change their behaviors and

beliefs– Positive peer pressure– Support for targets

Effective Bullying Prevention

• Develop a school environment characterized by:– Warmth, positive interest and involvement

by adults.– Firm limits for unacceptable behavior– Non hostile consequences consistently

applied.– Adults who act as authority figures and

positive role models.

Stop the Bullying• Do’s• Stand between the

children, preferably blocking eye contact between them.

• Set the ground rules. “I want you to listen while I talk.”

• Don’ts• Don’t get into any

type of argument with any student.

• Don’t send any students away, especially bystanders.

• Don’t ask about or discuss the reasons for the bullying.

Supporting the Victim• Do’s• Stand close to the child

who has been bullied.• Make minimal eye

contact-just enough to assess emotions.

• Make a point to see the child later in private to discuss the situation.

• Let his/her teacher know what happened to provide additional support and protection.

• Don’ts• get in the child’s face.• Offer physical comfort in

front of the others which may cause him/her embarrassment.

• Offer lots of sympathy on the spot—wait until later.

• Ask the bullied child to tell you what happened until you are in private.

Dealing with the Bully• Do’s• State what you

saw/heard• Label it as bullying• State that it is

against the school rules.

• Use a matter of fact voice.

• Don’t• Do not accuse—

simply state what you saw or heard.

• Don’t engage students in a discussion or argument about the facts at this time.

Talking to the Bystanders

• Do’s• Use a calm, matter-of fact

tone of voice.• Tell them that you noticed

their inaction or are pleased with the way they tried to help.

• Give bystanders a way to save face (e.g. “Maybe you didn’t feel comfortable intervening this time…”)

• Give them ideas on how they could respond and tell them that you expect that the next time.

• Don’ts• Scold bystanders for not

getting involved.• Don’t ask bystanders to

explain what happened at this time.

Consequences for Bullying should

be…

•Inevitable•Predictable•Escalating

Bullying Prevention Must Include…

•Counsel bullies•Support Targets

•Activate Bystanders

Counseling Bullies• After they are made aware of their

consequences, help students understand what motivates their behavior by asking them to think about these questions.– What did you do?– How did doing that make you feel?– How do you suppose it made the other

students feel?– What problem were you trying to solve?– How will you solve that problem next time?As students reflect upon their behavior and

the effects their behavior has on others, they may come up with different ways to meet their own needs.

Supporting Targets• Bullying is a loss experience.

– Loss of safety– Loss of self-esteem– Loss of belonging– Loss of control over your own life

Activating Bystanders•Encourage other students to:

–Speak up to bullies–Ask adults for help–Reach out as friends to isolated peers

In order to prevent bullying in your

school…• Raise the cost of bullying by removing the

bully’s power.• Connect students and teachers with kindness

and respect.• Help redirect aggressive tendencies in youth.• Change the peer culture so everyone takes

responsibility.• Protect and support targets of bullying.• Work with families.

Sources• Stop Bullying Now @ www.stopbullyingnow.com• National Youth Violence Prevention Resource

Center• Bullying and Your Child @www.kidshealth.org• Bullies by Brenda Durosimni, MPA, FS 97-42

University of Nevada Cooperative Extension Office Fact Sheet 97-42

• Taking the Bully by the Horns by Kathy Noll @ members.aol.com/kthynoll/schools.htm

• Bullies FS-570 by Laura DeHaan, Ph.D. North Dakota State University Extension Office