Swordsman Swordsman Teen Newslet terTeen Newslet ter
Paul Barnum 2977 St Rte #3 Fulton, NY 13069
[email protected] On Twitter at paulbarnum
I want to make my Facebook name “Nobody” So when I see someone
put something
absurd
I can “like it” And it will say
“Nobody Likes This”
Proverbs 6:5 Deliver thyself as a roe from the hand of the hunter, and as a bird from the hand of the fowler.
Continued Next Column
1. In Genesis 19:24 when Lot's wife looked back at Sodom, she be came a pillar of _____. A) Fire B) Salt C) Cloud D) Her community 2. In Genesis 21:4, the mother of Isaac was _____. A) Sarah B) Rebekah C) Hagar D) Leah 3. In Genesis 21:5, Abraham was _____ years old when his son, Isaac, was born. A) Eighteen B) Thirty C) Sixty-five D) One hundred 4. In Genesis 21:8-9, Isaac had an older brother named _____. A) Lot B) Esau C) Ishmael D) Reuben 5. In Genesis 22:13, instead of sacrificing his son, Abraham sacrificed _____. A) His daughter B) A horse C) Nothing D) A ram 6. In Genesis 24:2-4, when Abraham wanted to find a wife for his son, Isaac, he sent his _____. A) Servant B) Goat C) Mother D) Agent 7. In Genesis 24:14, the girl who offered to water the _____ would be a good choice for the wife of Isaac. A) Camels B) Tulips C) Goats D) Dog 8. In Genesis 24:14, Abraham left everything he owned to his son, ____. A) Isaac B) Esau C) Lot D) Benjamin 9. In Genesis 25:25, Rebekah's first son was named _____ because he was hairy. A) Esau B) Tarzan C) Ishmael D) Judah 10. In Genesis 25:28, Isaac loved his son Esau the best, but Rebekah loved _____. A) Homer B) Pizza C) Jacob D) Ishmael 11. In Genesis 25:34, Esau sold his birthright to Jacob in exchange for some red _____. A) Peppers B) Pottage C) Roses D) Pomegranates 12. In Genesis 25:30-34, Edom was another name for _____. A) Midian B) Esau C) Terah D) Abram 13. In Genesis 25:11 after Abraham died, God repeated the promise of blessing to his son _____. A) Enoch B) Seth C) Isaac D) Joseph
14. In Genesis 27:6, Isaac expected food made out of wild game while he blessed his son. Instead, Jacob brought him food made from _____. A) Eggs B) Goats C) Grain D) Chickens 15. In Genesis 28:5-9, Esau was angry because _____ had stolen the blessing intended for him. A) Isaac B) Joseph C) Jacob D) Elijah 16. In Genesis 28:11 when Jacob had a dream about angels, he was using a _____ for a pillow. A) Log B) Goat C) Book D) Stone 17. In Genesis 28:11-12, Jacob had a dream of a ladder with _____ going up and down on it. A) Angels B) Monkeys C) Soldiers D) Children 18.In Genesis 29:10, the father of Rachel and Leah was _____. A) Abram B) Elijah C) Laban D) Joseph 19. In Genesis 32:24, Jacob's name was changed to _____ because he wrestled with God. A) Israel B) Hogan C) Judah D) Esau 20. In Genesis 32:28, the name Israel was a name given to a man who had been called _____. A) Judah B) Jacob C) Samaria D) Isaac 21. In Genesis 35.22, how many sons did Jacob have? A) Two B) Three C) Twelve D) Seven 22. In Genesis 37:3 Joseph was given a coat of many colors by _____. A) His father B) The government C) His boss D) His brothers 23. In Genesis 37:3, who gave his favorite son a coat of many colors? A) Israel B) Abram C) Judah D) Benjamin 24. In Genesis 37:3, who had a dream about sheaves of grain bowing down? A) Daniel B) Abram C) Moses D) Joseph 25. In Genesis 37:5-7, Joseph's brothers responded to his dreams by being _____. A) Generous B) Puzzled C) Hated D) Sleepy
Book of Genesis ~ Circle the right answer:
Answers on Page 4
What Does it Mean to be Lost?What Does it Mean to be Lost? John 17:1-12 These words spake Jesus, and lifted up his eyes to heaven, and said, Father, the hour is come; glorify thy Son, that thy Son also may glorify thee: 2 As thou hast given him power over all flesh, that he should give eternal life to as many as thou hast given him. 3 And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent. 4 I have glorified thee on the earth: I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do. 5 And now, O Father, glorify thou me with thine own self with the glory which I had with thee before the world was. 6 I have manifested thy name unto the men which thou gavest me out of the world: thine they were, and thou gavest them me; and they have kept thy word. 7 Now they have known that all things whatsoever thou hast given me are of thee. 8 For I have given unto them the words which thou gavest me; and they have received them, and have known surely that I came out from thee, and they have believed that thou didst send me. 9 I pray for them: I pray not for the world, but for them which thou hast given me; for they are thine. 10 And all mine are thine, and thine are mine; and I am glorified in them. 11 And now I am no more in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to thee. Holy Father, keep through thine own name those whom thou hast given me, that they may be one, as we are. Text Verse 12 While I was with them in the world, I kept them in thy name: those that thou gavest me I have kept, and none of them is lost, but the son of perdition; that the scripture might be fulfilled. There is a track out that says, "You May Be Religious, But Are You SAVED?" That
is my question to you today. I'm not asking you if you believe in God—are you SAVED? I'm not asking you if you are a member of a church—are you SAVED? I'm
not asking you if you do good to your fellow man—are you SAVED? The gospel
message is to those who are lost. Listen to me. You will never be SAVED until you first realize and admit that you are LOST. In the Bible, we find
examples of the word LOST. The Bible uses the word, "lost," in 32 verses. The primary use of the word in scripture is in reference to the Jews who rebelled
against God and rejected His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. Matthew 10:6 But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. In a broader sense, it can apply to
ANYONE, Jew or Gentile, who has never trusted Christ and His work for
salvation. John 1:12 But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: ) I want us to
look at some common uses of the word "lost," and illustrate the condition of those who have never trusted Christ and have never experienced what the Bible calls
the new birth. I. The word lost can mean a lost opportunity; never to come back, or to
disappear. 1 Samuel 9:3 And the asses of Kish Saul's father were lost. And Kish said to Saul his son, Take now one of the servants with thee, and arise, go seek the asses. There are two things that can disappear the older you get.
A. A person's possessions will one day disappear. Have you ever put something down or away and never find it again? I have!
Continued on Page 3
Issue
What Does it Mean to Be Lost? 1&3
Blondes go Rabbit Hunting 2
Are We Ready For Modern Technology 2
Cars VS Computers 2
Putting on Shoes 2
Jokes Made up by Kids 2
Oh Deer 4
Religious Skunks 3
Short Season 3
Thanks, Pastor 3
Watch What You Say 3
Well, There is Tour Say 3
That Can’t be Right 3
Blondes Go Duck Hunting 3
Word Search 4
Riddles to Use on Your Little Brother
or Sister
4
Two Blonde Carpenters 4
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Psalms 5:2 Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my King, and my God: for unto thee will I pray. Psalms 55:17 Evening, and morn-ing, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and he shall hear my voice.
The Swordsmen Teen Newsletter
All Scripture in this publication is from the King James Bible.
For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and
marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Hebrews 4:12
Blondes go Rabbit Hunting
Two Blondes were out hunting when one of them saw a
rabbit. “Quick,” said the first, “shoot it.” “I can’t,” said the second. “My gun isn’t loaded.” “Well,” said the first,” you
know that, and I know that, but the rabbit doesn’t.”
Are We Ready For Modern Technology?
A Blonde And Red head Secretary Blonde: “Do you know anything about this fax-
machine?” Red Head: “A little. What’s wrong?”
Blonde: “Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called
back to say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing
happened.” Red Head: “How did you load the sheet?”
Blonde: “It’s a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn’t want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded
it so only the recipient would open it and read it.”
Cars vs Computers August 8, 2007 At the most recent COMDEX computer expo, Bill Gates
reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated “If GM had kept up with technology like
the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal.”
General Motors addressed this comment yesterday by releasing the Statement “Yes, but would you want your car
to crash twice a day?”
So, here you are: a dozen reasons to be glad the automotive industry hasn’t kept up with the computer
industry: 1. Every time you wanted to drive on a different road, you
would have to buy a new car.
2. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive
on. 3. Occasionally, executing a common maneuver would
cause your car to stop and fail; and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you
would accept this too.
4. Traffic jams would be known as lag, and you’d accept them as well.
5. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought “Car95″ or “CarNT”. But, then you
would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that came fully loaded with optional equipment, was powered by the sun, reliable,
five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would do no advertising and have no dealerships.
7. Every now and then, a Cray car would blow past doing
about 1000 times your speed - and hopefully you were not in the fast lane.
8. Buying a new set of tires would also require one to buy
multiple other accessories or the car wouldn’t run properly.
9. The airbag system would say “are you sure?” before
going off. 10. The resale value would drop 75% as soon as you drove
out of the showroom and would be $0.00 within two years - trade ins, forget about it!
11. For service you would have to call a toll free number
and select the proper number for the repair you wish to have done. An automated voice would walk you through
the step to repair the car yourself and when that didn’t work refer you to the company that sold the gas for the
car. 12. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be
replaced by a single “general car default” warning light
which would come on only when it was too late to fix the problem
Putting on Shoes A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided
to play football. During the first half of the game, the big
animals were winning. But during the second half, a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little
animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, “Where were you during the
first half?” He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.
Jokes Made up by Kids Dad: How do you like fourth grade?
Son: It isn’t much fun.
Dad: That’s too bad. It was the best three years of my life! *************************************************************************************************
Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?
Dad: No. Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery
shopping! *************************************************************************************************
Jacob: I have a lot of my dad’s genes. Dave: Really? I bet they don’t fit. *************************************************************************************************
Dad: You’ll never amount to anything because you
procrastinate. Son: Oh yeah? Just you wait! *************************************************************************************************
Dan: I made a bad mistake today and gave my dad some
soap flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast. Jan: Was he mad?
Dan: Yup. He was foaming at the mouth! *************************************************************************************************
Manny: How do you like the drum set you got for your
birthday? Theo: I love it!
Manny: Why? Theo: Whenever I don’t play it, my dad gives me 10 bucks! *************************************************************************************************
Dad: Son, if you keep pulling my hair, you will have to get
off my shoulders. Tiger Cub: But, Dad, I’m just trying to get my gum back!
Swordsman Teen Newsletter www.swordsmanteen.com Page 2
What Does it Mean to be Lost?What Does it Mean to be Lost?
B. A person's physical health will one
day disappear. When a person is young he really doesn't
think of that. But the older he gets the more he realizes that is a truth that happens to most everyone. I was talking with
a preacher one day who had a hard time walking and I said to him, “It’s terrible to get old isn’t it?” He said to me, “You
either get old or die!”
II. The word lost can mean disobedient. Psalms 119:176 I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek thy servant; for I do not forget thy commandments. Isaiah 53:6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. A. All of us have been disobedient in our pondering.
(Pondering is to weigh in the mind with thoroughness and care. To reflect or consider with thoroughness and care.) You could say to ponder or to think on something we are not suppose to.
B. All of us have been disobedient in our
pronouncements. (pro·nounce·ment, a formal expression of opinion; a judgment.) Have you ever given your opinion
about someone and have been wrong; have you ever judged someone and been wrong. Matthew 7:1 Judge not, that ye be not judged. Luke 6:37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: C. All of us have been disobedient in our practices. (practices: An accepted mode of doing something; convention; custom. A Standard; precept; idea. An activity done unconsciously; habit; routine.) As normal, I could fill this entire newsletter up with
just this message, but I will end with this. I would like you to look closely at the next few things; if they
fit you—maybe you need to trust the Lord as your Saviour.
III. The word lost can mean to be deserted. You will be alone in your depression, if you are lost. You will
be alone in your diseases, if you are lost. You will be
alone in your death, if you are lost. The benefits of salvation sure do out weigh the
alternative. What’s stopping you from trusting the Lord Jesus as
your Savior?
Editor’s Note: Just in case you do
not know me this is my favorite time of year. Hunting season opens
October first. I love to go hunting and look forward to it
every year so I thought it would be nice to have a few hunting jokes.
Oh, Deer
A man and woman were on their first date. The woman was trying to make conversation and said, “So I hear you hunt
deer.” The man looked away and turned red. “What’s
wrong?” asked the woman. “I’m not used to someone calling
me dear on the first date,” the man said.
Religious Skunks
Two skunks observed a deer hunter sneaking through the woods with a rifle. “I hope he’s not going to shoot at us,”
said one skunk. The second skunk bowed his head and said,
“Let us spray.”
Short Season
On the first day of the deer hunting season, a hunter fell out
of a deer stand and broke both his legs. “Why couldn’t this happen on my last day of hunting?” the hunter cried to the
doctor. “It did,” the doctor replied.
Thanks, Pastor
A deer hunter asked his Pastor if it was a sin to hunt on
Sunday. “From what I hear about your aim,” said the Pastor, “It’s a sin for you to hunt any time.”
Watch What You Say
A deer hunter was bragging about the biggest, baddest, handsomest, heaviest deer he’d bagged the day before. “It’s
got enough meat to eat the whole year,” he boasted. Just
then the Game Warden came up and cited the man $500 for hunting without the proper tag. “Five-hundred dollars?”
exclaimed the hunter. “All for a mangy, skinny, stubby, half-pint deer?”
Well, There’s Your Answer
A deer hunter just messed up another hunt. This happened
to him more times than he could count. He would spot a buck, aim, fire and miss. He would sneak up close just to get
busted and watch the deer run away. He would sneeze just as the buck came into range. He would fall asleep on stand,
waking in time to watch a giant buck scamper away. Frustrated, he complained to his hunting buddies.
“Everything that happens to guys that don’t know how to
hunt keeps happening to me!” he said.
That Can’t Be Right
Two deer hunters were not having any success so they asked
for advice from an old timer. “You can just about guarantee a deer if you learn to hunt with dogs,” he said. The two
hunters got a trained deer dog and hit the woods. At the end
of the day and still empty-handed, one hunter said to the other, “Maybe tomorrow we’ll get one if we throw the dog
out of a higher tree stand.”
Blondes Go Duck Hunting
Two Blondes were out hunting, but they weren't getting any ducks. "What do you think the problem is?" one blonde asked his companion. "I don’t know," came the reply, "Maybe we aren't throwing the dog up high enough."
Swordsman Teen Newsletter www.swordsmanteen.com Page 3
Continued from Page 1
Answer to Book of Genesis Quiz
PSALM 2
E R I C C H A S N E V A E H I
N A Y R O M I T I M O T H N N
G N I L B M E R T I N E H L S
O O Y E A E S E M P R E T L T
O I L G R G G A E U R A A I R
D N O A N N G O S I T R R H U
K T G I I I P A T H O T W C C
A E K A N L E A I T D H O U T
E D V E E L N N S R E U U S E
P K Y Z P C G A O A N N O D D
S Z I S E A C L T S E A L N K
A D I S O O T H E H E A T A R
I D R O S R E L U R U B E B Y
N N O O N N O S E G O R Y A N
T E E R C E D Y H O B L I S A
WORDS:
HEATHEN RAGE PEOPLE IMAGINE KINGS EARTH
VAIN THING
RULERS COUNSEL LORD ANOINTED BREAK BANDS
CAST CORDS
HEAVENS LAUGH SPEAK WRATH DISPLEASURE
HOLY HILL ZION
DECREE BEGOTTEN INHERITANCE KISS
INSTRUCTED TREMBLING
Riddles to Use on Your Little Brother or Sister.
1. What animal uses a nutcracker? A) A toothless squirrel.
2. What do you call a dog that is left-handed? A) A south paw.
3. What do you call a dog with no legs?
A) It doesn't matter what you call him, he's not going to come.
4. What do you call a great dog detective? A) Sherlock Bones.
5. What do you get if cross two young dogs with a
pair of headphones? A) Hush puppies.
6. What do you get if you cross a beagle with bread dough?
A) Dog biscuits. 7. What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an
Australian dog?
A) Dingo Starr. 8. What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a
poodle and a rooster? A) Cockerpoodledoo.
9. What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a
collie? A) A dog that runs for help ... after he bites your leg off.
10. What does a dog get when it finishes obedience school?
A) A pet degree (pedigree). 11. What goes "Tick tock, woof woof?"
A) A watch dog.
12. What happens when it rains cats and dogs? A) You might step in a poodle (puddle).
13. What is a little dog's favorite drink? A) Pupsi-cola.
14. What is more impressive than a talking dog?
A) A spelling bee. 15. What kind of dog chases red articles of clothing?
A) A Bulldog.
Two Blonde Carpenters
Two Blondes With Hammers.
Lynn & Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity House.
Lynn, nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or
nail it in.
Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, “Why are you throwing those nails away?”
Lynn explained, “When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I
throw them away.”
Judy got completely upset and yelled, “NO! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!”
Swordsman Teen Newsletter www.swordsmanteen.com Page 4
1 - B) Salt
2 - A) Sarah 3 - D) One hundred
4 - C) Ishmael 5 - D) A ram
6 - A) Servant
7 - A) Camels 8 - A) Isaac
9 - A) Esau 10 - C) Jacob
11 - B) Pottage 12 - B) Esau
13 - C) Isaac
14 - B) Goats
15 - C) Jacob 16 - D) Stone
17 - A) Angels 18 - C) Laban
19 - A) Israel
20 - B) Jacob 21 - C) Twelve
22 - A) His father 23 - A) Israel
24 - D) Joseph 25 - C) Hated
