T T he he WW ellspring ofellspring of J J oyoy

Sue BohlinSue Bohlin

www.suebohlin.com

sue@probe.orgsue@probe.org

“Whoever believes in Me. . .streams of living water will flow from within him.”

John 8:38

ShameShame

Guilt: I Guilt: I did did something bad something bad

Shame: I Shame: I amam something badsomething bad

There’s There’s something wrong something wrong with mewith me

ShameShame

HealthyHealthy shame shame1. Modesty1. Modesty2. Awareness of not measuring 2. Awareness of not measuring

up to our true selfup to our true self UnhealthyUnhealthy, undeserved shame: , undeserved shame:

believing the lies that deny what believing the lies that deny what God says is trueGod says is true

Sources of ShameSources of Shame

ParentsParents PeersPeers SelfSelf SocietySociety

The Message of ShameThe Message of Shame

“ “I am I am defective and defective and I am afraid I I am afraid I will be will be rejected and rejected and abandoned.”abandoned.”

Healing from ShameHealing from Shame

Fear: I am unacceptableFear: I am unacceptable Antidote: God says I am accepted!Antidote: God says I am accepted!

Shame? Grace!Shame? Grace!

The healing for The healing for shameshame is to experience is to experience gracegrace by making a choice by making a choice to receive God’s acceptance to receive God’s acceptance as His gift.as His gift.

I am accepted in the Beloved (Eph. 1:6)I am accepted in the Beloved (Eph. 1:6) The Father has accepted me (Rom. 14:3)The Father has accepted me (Rom. 14:3) Christ has accepted me (Rom. 15:7)Christ has accepted me (Rom. 15:7)

ShameShame

“ “We are accepted wholesale. We are accepted wholesale. Accepted with no possibility of being Accepted with no possibility of being rejected. Accepted once and rejected. Accepted once and accepted forever. Accepted at the accepted forever. Accepted at the ultimate depth of our being. We are ultimate depth of our being. We are given what we have longed for in given what we have longed for in every nook and nuance of every every nook and nuance of every relationship.” --Louis Smedesrelationship.” --Louis Smedes

Self-PitySelf-Pity

Self-PitySelf-Pity

Self-PitySelf-Pity

Not a primary feeling (sadness, grief, Not a primary feeling (sadness, grief, loss)loss)

One response to legitimate negative One response to legitimate negative feelings: “Poor me!”feelings: “Poor me!”

Another response: trust GodAnother response: trust God Body odorBody odor Grief and sadness are not sinfulGrief and sadness are not sinful

Self-PitySelf-Pity Sadness | Self-pitySadness | Self-pity Sadness: “Life in a fallen world hurts.”Sadness: “Life in a fallen world hurts.” Self-pity: “I don’t deserve this.”Self-pity: “I don’t deserve this.” Antidote to self-pity: Antidote to self-pity:

I I deservedeserve nothing but hell nothing but hell Life in a fallen world hurts; this is my shareLife in a fallen world hurts; this is my share Bad things happen, good things happenBad things happen, good things happen God is still goodGod is still good I will trust HimI will trust Him

UnforgivenessUnforgiveness

Has anyone ever hurt you?Has anyone ever hurt you? An arrow was lodged in your heart.An arrow was lodged in your heart. Arrows generate liesArrows generate lies Arrows generate painArrows generate pain

What forgiveness feels What forgiveness feels likelike

ForgivenessForgiveness

Forgiving: letting go Forgiving: letting go of my right to see of my right to see you suffer for what you suffer for what you did to me. you did to me.

Removing your Removing your hands from the hands from the other person’s other person’s throatthroat

UnforgivenessUnforgiveness

Forgive: to let go and send awayForgive: to let go and send away Acknowledging the offense and then Acknowledging the offense and then

transferring the offender over to God in our transferring the offender over to God in our heartshearts

Deliberately choosing not to hold the offense Deliberately choosing not to hold the offense against the offender against the offender and not to bring it up againand not to bring it up again

Unforgiveness: refusing to let go of an offense Unforgiveness: refusing to let go of an offense Christ has already paid forChrist has already paid for

““Hot potato”Hot potato”

Letting GoLetting Go

Misunderstandings about Misunderstandings about ForgivenessForgiveness

““Forgive and Forget”Forgive and Forget” Forgiving is not trustForgiving is not trust Forgiving is not reconciliationForgiving is not reconciliation Forgiving does not mean what they Forgiving does not mean what they

did was OK.did was OK. Forgiving doesn’t mean the offender Forgiving doesn’t mean the offender

gets away with it.gets away with it.

What Forgiveness MeansWhat Forgiveness Means

Forgiveness means acknowledging the Forgiveness means acknowledging the offense and then transferring the offender offense and then transferring the offender over to God in our hearts.over to God in our hearts.

Forgiving someone means we Forgiving someone means we deliberately choose to not to hold his deliberately choose to not to hold his offense against him and not to bring it up offense against him and not to bring it up again.again.

Steps to ForgivenessSteps to Forgiveness

1.1. Acknowledge the offenseAcknowledge the offense

2. Turn the person over to God to repay 2. Turn the person over to God to repay themthem

Obstacles to the Obstacles to the Wellspring of JoyWellspring of Joy

Shame: Shame: Receive God’s gift of acceptanceReceive God’s gift of acceptance

Self-pity: Self-pity: Repent of your selfishness and Repent of your selfishness and choose to trust God in your painchoose to trust God in your pain

UnforgivenessUnforgiveness: Take them off your hook : Take them off your hook and put them on Jesus’ hookand put them on Jesus’ hook

The Jesus JailThe Jesus Jail