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Technical and Scientific Prose Style

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Technical & Scientific Prose Style Be concise Be precise Be direct Be emphatic 1 © 2015 Karen L. Thompson Department of English University of Idaho
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Page 1: Technical and Scientific Prose Style

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Technical &Scientific Prose Style

• Be concise• Be precise• Be direct• Be emphatic

© 2015 Karen L. Thompson Department of English University of Idaho

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Be conciseConcept 1

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No one wants to read lard-laden prose. If you have developed this habit, you need to lose it and write concisely.

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Causes of Lard

• The most common cause of lard-laden prose is mistakenly trying to meet a page-length requirement by adding more words.

• Most teachers do not insist that you meet a specific number of pages or else.

• Okay, well maybe my 8th grade English teacher did, but she was a bit strange.

Who are you calling strange sister?

Karen’s 8th Grade English Teacher

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• They are (or should be) aimed at helping you think about the level of development you need in any given writing assignment.

• Some assignments require a sustained piece of writing. For others, something shorter is needed.

• You don’t want to write three pages when the assignment asks for ten and vice versa.

• Writing more words that do not contribute to meaning is just adding lard. If you find yourself doing that, stop and think about why you can’t develop your writing. If you can’t, then get some help.

Here’s how to think about page length requirements:

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Cluttering your writing with lard,creates two problems:

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First, when workplace readers slog through sentences weighed down by lard, they lose interest.

Second, the lard leaves no room to write specifics and details necessary for meaning to be clearly understood, leaving a workplace reader confused about what you want them to do.

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How to Cut Lard

• Redundant words or phrases that contribute nothing to meaning are considered lard.

Many of the examples in the following slides are from Michael Alley’s The Craft of Scientific Writing. I recommend it.

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Here are examples of redundant words.

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already existing

alternative choices

at the present time

presently

currently at this time

basic fundamentals

completely eliminate

continue to remain

currently being

empty space

first began

had done previously

introduced a new

mix together

never before

none at all

now at this time

period of time

private industry

separate entities

start out

still persists

whether or not

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Avoid Writing Dead Phrases

it is my intent to showas a matter of factas is well knownas stated earlierit is noteworthythe presence of it goes without saying

A dead phrase is not saying anything necessary. It’s lifeless.

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at the present timenow

at that point in time

then

has the ability to

can

has the potential to

will

in the event that

if

in the vicinity of

near

owing to the fact that

because

the reason being that

because

the question as to whether

whether

there is no doubt but that

no doubt

for the purpose of

to

Some dead phrases have a word or two that can be revived.

These words have a heartbeat.

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With a little practice, you will find it easy to spot and remove lard.

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• I have worked for Macy’s as a sales associate.

I worked for Macy’s as a sales associate.

• In this report, there are the sales figures for May.

This report presents sales figures for May.

• The purpose of this project was to examine driver distraction among teenagers, including what tasks that they consider to be distracting.

This project examined driver distraction among teenagers, including tasks they consider to be distracting.

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Being Concise vs. Being Brief

• To be concise means to write only the words necessary to meet your purpose for writing and the needs of your audience to understand that purpose.

• You may need to write thousands of words and hundreds of pages to meet the needs and purposes for writing, so keep in mind that “being concise” when writing technical or scientific information is not the same as “being brief.”

• To be brief means to summarize information (like in an abstract). When you summarize, you are reducing the amount of information to key points, so you will be writing less than the original.

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Strategy to identify and cut lard, so the sentences you write are concise.

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• Consider this sentence:

– Wordiness is a word that is often used by many people toexpress the idea that something that was written by someone using more words than needed could have been written in a way that uses only the words needed (40 words much of which is lard).

• It’s not difficult to make this sentence more concise, but I’m using an easy lard-laden sentence in order to demonstrate a strategy for revising prose to be more concise.

• Use the following strategy when you have a more complicated sentence that is filled with lard.

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Step 1: Identify Repeats (all forms)

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Wordiness is a word that is often used by many people to express the idea that something that was written by someone using more words than needed could have been written in a way that uses only the words needed.

Start by eliminating words without changing the sentence structure (changing word structure is fine).

Wordiness expresses the idea that something written using more words than needed could have been written using only the words needed.

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Step 2: Substitute Wordy Verb Phrases with a Strong Verb

Wordiness expresses the idea (means) that something written using more words than needed could have been written using only the words needed.

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Step 3: Eliminate words that are not needed.

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• Wordiness means that something that was written using unnecessary more words than needed could have been written using only the words needed.

Wordiness means using unnecessary words.

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Step 4: Check the Result

Wordiness means using unnecessary words.

• Often reducing lard reveals a need to be more specific.

• To decide if you need to add more specific information, think about how precise you need to be – being precise is covered in the next few slides.

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Be preciseConcept 2

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To be precise means to:• Choose the appropriate level of specifics and detail

based on what readers will do with what you write and how formal you need to be.

• For example, your mailing address is specific and contains the details necessary for someone to send you mail or a package.

The specifics and details of your address, however, would not be enough to identify your property in a mortgage contract.

• Different audiences --- different purposes ---- different needs.

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Deciding When to Add Specifics and DetailsAt the end of the last concept, the strategy changed the original version to be concise:

• Wordiness means using unnecessary words.

To decide if it is precise, the writer should consider what specifics and details (if any) would make the point clearer?

You can only make that decision by thinking about audience needs and your purpose for writing.

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Thinking About Audience & PurposeLet’s say our purpose is about clarifying not only what being concise means but why it’s important not to write unnecessary words. If so, then the audience would need more information:

Revised• Being concise means using only the words necessary to meet

the needs of the audience and your purpose for writing. When writing is cluttered with unnecessary words, readers have to fight through this clutter to determine what you are trying to say. No one wants to work that hard when reading.

• This revision is 52 words (10 more than the original), but it is providing more specific, information about audience, purpose, and what happens when a writer is not concise.

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Why You May Find it Hard to Apply The Concept of Being Precise

• When looking at your prior writing, you may not quite remember what you were trying to accomplish, and you may have trouble figuring out what the audience needed.

• If you can’t remember audience and purpose, it’s okay to speculate a bit (i.e. say something like “if I was trying to reach an audience with this level of knowledge and if this was my purpose, then I needed to ….).

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Here’s another way to determine if you are being precise enough:

• Look for vague words:– really great – very big– very small– very profitable– many people– extremely eventful

• Decide if this vague phrasing is appropriate. In some contexts, a vague phrase works such as in an email message.

– This prototype looks very promising.– These sales figures are really great.

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Revise vague phrases to be more specific:

when your audience needs specifics and details in order to clearly understand information such as:

• Results of tests or experiments• Analytics• Field locationsEtc.

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Being precise is closely related to Jargon.

• Jargon is industry or discipline specific terminology.

• It allows users to be both precise and concise because they share an understanding of the terminology.

• When your audience would not have this knowledge, then jargon creates a problem with being clear.

• Often engineering and scientific prose is needlessly filled with jargon when a simple explanation is best.

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Technical terms have specific meanings for audiences with a high level of technical or scientific expertise. Not being precise can make you look like a sloppy researcher.

Example of poor word choice:

Our research presents a new technique for studying the complex phenomena associated with the development of sparks and other gas discharges.

Word choice is imprecise because sparks and gas discharges are different.

Example of poor word choice:

Our research presents a new technique for studying the complex phenomena associated with the development of sparks and other gas discharges.

Word choice is imprecise because sparks and gas discharges are different.

spark: the transient irreversible event from one steady state of the electrical breakdown process to another.

gas discharge: any of the three steady states of the electrical breakdown

process.

Voltage

Current

spark

discharge

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Notice how the use of these words would depend upon audience knowledge, writer’s purpose, and field.

cementa material, usually ceramic, for bonding solids

aggregatecoarse particles such as sand or gravel

hydraulic cementcement that bonds by a reaction with water

Agglomerate small particles bonded into an integrated mass

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Workplace readers need to know what you want them to think about, understand, or take action on after reading your writing.

After recognizing some problems with the solar mirrors, we took subsequent corrective measures.

What problems? Should I be worried?What corrective measures?Why are you telling me this?What do you want me to do?

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Notice how specifics help readers understand what to do with the information.

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After finding that high winds (and not hail) had cracked the ten solar mirrors, we began stowing all mirrors in a horizontal position during thunderstorms.

I see, you are telling me about a problem that you have solved.

I’m relieved to know this. Thanks for updating me about the solar mirrors.

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To check your writing for specifics, try to be the reader.

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• If you were the reader of this document, would you know what the writer wanted you to think about, understand, and/or do with this information?

If you respond to your writing like this, you need to revise.

If you respond to your writing like this, your writing is working.

What was I trying to say?

My writing is clear, and I am awesome!

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Some advice from a guy who wrote clearly.

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Be directConcept 3

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To be direct means:

• Knowing when to use active vs. passive voice.– Passive voice is always less direct than

active voice, but it is often more appropriate in certain contexts.

• Using Strong Nouns and Verbs

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Active Voice

• When you write in the active voice, the person who is doing the action is the subject of the sentence.

– Like this: John washed the car. Here, John is the subject and washed is the action.

• Or, the source of the action is the subject.– Like this: The volcano erupted in May.

Here, the volcano is the subject, and erupted is the action.

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Passive Voice• When you write in the passive voice, the action or the

object being acted upon is the subject of the sentence and the actor is either implied or in a “by” phrase.

– Like this: The car was washed. The car was washed by John. Here, car is the subject and washed is the action.

• Or, the action is the subject.– Like this: The eruption of the volcano occurred in May.

Here, eruption is the subject and occurred is the action.

You want mostly active voice because then the important actors are doing the action.

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To understand why, consider this rewrite of a famous sentence.

Once upon a time, as a walk through the woods was taking place on the part of Little Red Riding Hood, the Wolf’s jump out from behind a tree occurred, causing her fright.

• There are two subjects and two verbs in this bad rewrite of a classic story. The subjects are underlined and the verbs are in italics.

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Why it’s an awful rewrite.

• Walks and jumps do not happen without someone doing these actions.

• In this awful rewrite, the actors (Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf) are not doing the action, but there is no reason for them not to be, so the sentence is needlessly passive.

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Needlessly passive voice often encourages lard.

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It was then concluded that a second complete solar mirror field corrosion survey should be conducted in July to determine whether the tenfold annual corrosion rate projection was valid and to allow determination whether subsequent corrective measures would be effective in retarding corrosion propagation.

We decided to survey the solar mirror field a second time in July to see if the corrosion rate would increase tenfold as projected and to determine whether stowing the mirrors in a vertical position would slow the rate.

No Lard

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Needlessly passive voice makes it hard for readers to figure out what you are trying to tell them.

In that an effort to identify a specific control circuit responsible for the failure of the gear box was unsuccessful, it was determined appropriate to resurvey the collector field for torque tube damage.

Because we could not locate the control circuit responsible for the gear box failure, we resurveyed the collector field for torque tube damage.

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To check actors and actions ask: who is doing what?

• Who was walking? (A: Little Red Riding Hood)Who jumped? (A: Wolf)

Then revise to make the actors the subject of the sentence so they are doing the action.

• Once upon a time, Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods, when the Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and frightened her.

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Here’s another example:• There is opposition to vaccinating children by parents who

believe the vaccines contain harmful additives.• Who is doing what?• Answer: Parents oppose.

• Revision:Some parents oppose vaccinating their children because they believe the vaccines contain harmful additives.

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Here’s when to choose passive voice.

• What if the you don’t know who the actor is?– The senator was rumored to be considering running for

president.

• What if readers don’t care?– DNA was extracted. – A focus group was tested.

Scientific and engineering prose tends to be written in the passive voice because readers want to see what was done not who did it.

This move to use passive voice, however, is a modern one based on a need to present scientific results in an impersonal “objective” manner.

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Be careful when using the active voice with inanimate objects.Try to avoid the Dr. Frankenstein effect.

ReasonableThe oscilloscope displayed the voltage.

The oscilloscope measured the voltage.

V

+

-

The oscilloscope calculated the voltage.

V=

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A strong noun (or noun phrase) refers to a particular person, place, or thing.

A strong verb (or verb phrase) conveys action that is specific.

Use Strong Nouns and Verbs

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Strong nouns are concrete.

• They convey one or more of the five senses:1. Sight2. Smell3. Sound4. Taste5. Touch

In technical and scientific prose, the most common concrete nouns convey sight: a visual image.

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Here’s an example of weak nouns.

• In this sentence the italicized words are weak nouns.

– The existing nature of Mount St. Helens’ volcanic ash spewage was handled through the applied use of computer modeling capabilities.

Some of these nouns are really verbs that have been structured to be nouns (not a good idea).

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Revised• We modeled how much volcanic ash spewed from

Mt. St. Helen’s using Cray computers.

Cray Computers

Volcanic Ash

Mt. St. Helen’s

Notice how the strong nouns convey images and work together with the strong verb modeled and spewed to convey action.

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Using "To Be” Verbs

• “To be” verbs act as an equal sign. They are fine to use when you need them to define and equate.

• Like this:A positron is a positively charged electron.

• But if you are trying to write something other than a definition or equality, find a strong verb because to be verbs cannot convey action.

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Notice how to be verbs drain the action out of this sentence.• A new process for eliminating nitrogen oxides from diesel

exhaust engines is presented. Flow tube experiments to test this process are discussed. The percentage decrease in nitrogen oxide emissions is revealed.

• When the sentence is revised with strong verbs, it has energy.

This paper presents a new process for eliminating nitrogen oxidesfrom the exhaust of diesel engines. To test this process, weperformed experiments in flow tubes. These experiments revealed a99 percent decrease in nitrogen oxide emissions.

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Try tightening the verb form to make it stronger.

• is capable of can

• is composed of composed

• is used to detect detects

• makes a decision decides

• makes a measurement of measures

• performs the development of develops

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Be emphatic.Concept 4

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When we speak, how we emphasize or stress certain words affects the meaning.

• I only tested the Labrador for rabies yesterday.• I only tested the Labrador for rabies yesterday.• I only tested the Labrador for rabies yesterday.• I only tested the Labrador for rabies yesterday.

• When we write, how we structure sentences creates emphasis. Because technical and scientific prose can be complex, it can be challenging to get the stress emphasis right.

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The smallest of the URFs (URFA6L), a 207-nucleotide (nt) reading frame overlapping out of phase the NIH2terminal portion of the adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6 gene has been identified as the animal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H+-ATPase subunit 8 gene. The functional significance of the other URFs has been, on the contrary, elusive. Recently, however, immunoprecipitation experiments with antibodies to purified, rotenone-sensitive NADH-ubiquinone oxido-reductase [hereafter referred to as respiratory chain NADH dehydrogenase or complex I] from bovine heart, as well as enzyme fractionation studies, have indicated that six human URFs (that is, URF1, URF2, URF3, URF4, URF4L, and URF5, hereafter referred to as ND1, ND2, ND3, ND4, ND4L, and ND5) encode subunits of complex I. This is a large complex that also contains many subunits synthesized in the cytoplasm.1

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Most readers would assume that the paragraph would be clear to the intended readers in this field of study. Well, let’s see how that might work.

To see what I mean, try reading this paragraph. It’s okay if you don’t finish it:

This lecture is adapted from The Science of Scientific Writing by George Gopen and Judith Swan.

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The intended audience would know:

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• “URF" stands for "Uninterrupted Reading Frame," which describes a segment of DNA organized in such a way that it could encode a protein, although no such protein product has yet been identified;

• Both ATPase and NADH oxido-reductase are enzyme complexes central to energy metabolism.

But that knowledge would not help them understand the meaning of this

paragraph. Here’s why (next slide please).

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The smallest of the URFs, an [A], has been identified as a [B] subunit 8 gene. The functional significance of the other URFs has been, on the contrary, elusive. Recently, however, [C] experiments, as well as [DI] studies, have indicated that six human URFs [1-6] encode subunits of Complex I. This is a large complex that also contains many subunits synthesized in the cytoplasm.

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Let’s remove the technical jargon, and this will start to reveal how the paragraph is not clear:

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1. The smallest of the URFs, an [A], has been identified as a [B] subunit 8 gene. (stuff has been identified)

2. The functional significance of the other URFs has been, on the contrary, elusive. (other stuff has been elusive)

3. Recently, however, [C] experiments, as well as [DI] studies, have indicated that six human URFs [1-6] encode subunits of Complex I. (new research indicates yet other stuff)

4. This is a large complex that also contains many subunits synthesized in the cytoplasm. (this what? the first stuff, the second stuff, or the last stuff? Also what about this stuff?)

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Notice how the sentences do not “add up” to anything.

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Here’s the problem:

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• Readers naturally place greater emphasis on information that is at the end of a sentence or at the end of a topic.

• It’s where we look to figure out the point the writer is making.

• This placement is known as the stress position or stress emphasis in sentences and paragraphs.

• The first few words of a sentence are important because they set up the topic, but the end is where we look for the point.

• Let’s look at a famous sentence . . . .

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Here’s a famous sentence:

• In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

“In the beginning” sets up the topic and “God created the heaven and the earth” is in the stress position.

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What if we revised it?

• Because the heaven and earth were created in the beginning by God.

• Creating the heaven and earth was done by God in the beginning.

• The heaven and the earth were created by God (in the beginning).

These awful rewrites put the emphasis in the wrong place.

Better think twice about

those revisions.

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When writers place information that needs emphasis in the wrong place, one of two things will happen:

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• In lengthy sentences with complex information, the reader may, in trying to figure out what the writer means, decide to emphasize something the writer did not intend to be the point.

Or• Readers will mistakenly think the material in the stress

position is important and then interpret this “imposter” material as the point.

• Either way, the meaning intended by the writer is likely to be missed or misunderstood.

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Keeping stress emphasis in mind.

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• Let’s add back the terminology of our paragraph and analyze the sentence using our subject/verb strategies:

The smallest of the URFs (URFA6L), a 207-nucleotide (nt) reading frame overlapping out of phase the NIH2terminal portion of the adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6 gene has been identified as the animal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H+-ATPase subunit 8 gene.

Who or what has been identified?Answer: The smallest of the URFs

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Notice the number of words between the subject and the verb.

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• The smallest of the URFs . . . [23 words later] . . . has been identified.

In English, the more words between the subject and its verb, the more difficult it is for readers to follow.

If you need to include information between a subject and verb, then readers need structural cues to follow the emphasis.

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Let’s examine a possible revision that says the 23 words are saying something that readers

need.

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We’ll include the 23 word section by setting it apart from the main point of the sentence using a comma and a semicolon.

These act as structural cues. They tell the reader “hey, here is some stuff you might need to know in order to undertand what I’m talking about.”

The smallest of the URFs is URFA6L, a 207-nucleotide (nt) reading frame overlapping out of phase the NH2-terminal portion of the adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6 gene; it has been identified as the animal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H+-ATPase subunit 8 gene.

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Note why this punctuation is used.

• The smallest of the URFs is URFA6L, a 207-nucleotide (nt) reading frame overlapping out of phase the NH2-terminal portion of the adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6 gene; it has been identified as the animal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H+-ATPase subunit 8 gene.

The reason for the comma and semicolon is that the word “gene” ends a complete thought (sentence) and “it” starts another thought (sentence). We could simply use a period after gene and start “It” as a new sentence.

But, what if readers, don’t need the 23 word section because they would already know this information?

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If readers know the information, then it isn’t needed.

• The smallest of the URFs (URFA6L) has been identified as the animal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H+-ATPase subunit 8 gene.

• In this revision, we’ve eliminated the 23 word section.

• Only the writer could tell us which revision best conveys the intended meaning because only the writer knows the audience and his/her purpose for writing.

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Stress position is a function of syntactical closure.

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• The title of this slide is just a fancy way of saying that the stress position in a sentence isn’t always at the end of the sentence.

• It can occur at the end of an order of words as long as the writer provides structural cues (i.e. punctuation) to identify where readers need to close out one point and be ready to identify how it relates to an new point.

 

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In this example, I’ve assumed readers would need that 23 word section and added another.

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• The smallest of the URFs is URFA6L, a 207-nucleotide (nt) reading frame overlapping out of phase the NH2-terminal portion of the adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6

gene; it has been identified as the animal equivalent of the

recently discovered yeast H+-ATPase subunit 8 gene, but this identification was demonstrated to be incorrect by researchers at the University of Idaho.

• Punctuation provides the structural cues needed to help readers understand the meaning that is being emphasized.

• BTW I made the last part up about UI researchers. Although we are very smart around here ).

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Strategies for Diagnosing and Revising to Emphsize What You Mean to Say

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1. Trim the end.Sociobiologists claim that our genes control our social behavior in the way we act in situations we are in every day.

Since social behavior means the way we act in situations, we don’t need the stuff after behavior. Notice how it is unnecessary words, so you can sometimes catch this by looking at wordiness.

2. Avoid writing metadiscourse, particularly, at the end of a sentence.Job opportunities in computer programming are getting scarcer, it must be remembered.

Metadiscourse draws attention to what is being said, it often sounds preachy and pompous.

3. Shift new information to the right.Questions about the ethics of withdrawing intravenous feeding are more difficult.

The “more difficult” phrase is referring to something that was stated previously, so it’s old information. Keep the new information to the right, like this:

More difficult, are questions about the ethics of withdrawing intravenous feeding.

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4. Understand the Function of Topic Sentences

Notice how this paragraph seems unfocused.

– Great strides in the early and accurate diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease have been made in recent years. Not too long ago, senility in an older patient who seemed to be losing touch with reality was often confused with Alzheimer’s. Genetic clues have become the basis of newer and more reliable tests in the last few years, however. The risk of human tragedy of another kind, though, has resulted from the increasing accuracy of these tests: predictions about susceptibility to Alzheimer's have become possible, long before the appearance of any overt symptoms At that point, an apparently healthy person could be devastated by such an early diagnosis.

Without a topic sentence, the other sentences in this paragraph bounce around without a clear point or emphasis.

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The point of this paragraph is not about early and accurate diagnosis but about its risks. Notice how that point doesn’t occur until half way into the paragraph (marked with red).

Great strides in the early and accurate diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease have been made in recent years. Not too long ago, senility in an older patient who seemed to be losing touch with reality was often confused with Alzheimer’s. Genetic clues have become the basis of newer and more reliable tests in the last few years, however. The risk of human tragedy of another kind, though, has resulted from the increasing accuracy of these tests: predictions about susceptibility to Alzheimer's have become possible, long before the appearance of any overt symptoms At that point, an apparently healthy person could be devastated by such an early diagnosis.

Make the first sentence of a paragraph about the point or topic and put key words in the stress position.

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Notice how the bolded words in a revision with a topic sentence work together to make the point. Breaking the section into two paragraphs also enhances readability.

In recent years, researchers have made great strides in the early and accurate diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease, but those diagnoses have raised a new problem about informing those most at risk who show no symptoms of it. Not too long ago, when a physician examined an older patient who seemed out of touch with reality, the doctor had to guess whether the person had Alzheimer’s or was senile.

Now physicians are able to use new and more reliable tests focusing on genetic clues. The accuracy of these new tests, however, presents the risk of another kind of human tragedy: physicians may be able to predict Alzheimer’s long before its overt appearance, but such an early diagnosis could psychologically devastate an apparently healthy person.

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Quick Tip• Underline the sentence in a paragraph that you think best

introduces or frames the rest of the sentences in that paragraph.

• If you can’t do that, then your paragraph is probably rambling without a point. Get a point, and if you have a paragraph that is rambling without one, then consider deleting it entirely.

• If you can underline a sentence, then make certain it is helping you to govern the meaning in that paragraph by placing it at the start of the paragraph.

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Summative Modifiers

• A summative modifier works by summing up what’s been said so far in a sentence, and it can help you create the right emphasis. Notice how the bolded text below does this:

– Economic changes have reduced Russian population growth to less than zero, a demographic event that will have serious implications.

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Strings of prepositions make it hard for readers to find the emphasis.

The condition of the patient was documented in the patient profile written by the nurse on duty during the after-hours shift.

• Revised by using active voice and placing the modifiers before the nouns:

The after-hours nurse documented the patient’s condition in the patient profile.

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What have we learned about stress emphasis?

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• Sentences can be lengthy and complex as long as writers provide the appropriate structural cues and understand how to create the right emphasis.

• Grammatical subjects should be followed as soon as possible by their verbs unless there is important intervening information readers need to consider.

• Every unit of discourse should serve a single function or make a single point.

• Information to be emphasized should appear at stress points (places of syntactical closure).

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When you start to analyze your writing:

You may find that the concepts all start to seem alike, and that’s because they are all related, but they are different, so here’s a quick way to keep them separated:

• Be concise: look for words, phrases, and sentences that do not contribute to meaning.

• Be specific: did you provide the specifics and details necessary to meet audience needs and your purpose for writing (this one will be hard).

• Be direct: check if your nouns and verbs are strong and if you are writing needlessly passive prose or if it’s appropriate.

• Be emphatic: look at the ends of your sentences and paragaphs. Is the meaning you intended there? Do you have topic sentences? Are subjects separated from verbs with a bunch of words? Have you punctuated complex sentences to help readers know what the point is that you are trying to make?

Don’t revise your writing, just analyze and that will help you stay focused on understanding and applying the concept. Remember to write-up the findings of this analysis using the guidelines in the project handout.


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