TeeBeeCee Gazette DECEMBER 2012 FROM THE CHAIRMAN 1 As another busy year draws to a close I’d like to take this opportunity to say a special “thank you” to the many members who have volunteered their time and their efforts to this wonderful club throughout the year. If clubs can be judged by the degree of input, collectively, from its members then TBC must surely rank up there with the best of them. We are indeed fortunate that so many are prepared to roll up their sleeves and pitch in when necessary. So “thank you” to all our volunteers and “thank you” to their families for supporting their involvement. In appreciation of their efforts, the Board would like to invite all volunteers and their partners to attend a free game of bowls followed by a finger food luncheon at the club in their honour. This event will occur on Sunday morning, 9th December commencing with a fun game of bowls at 10:00am. I do hope that all of our volunteers will be able to attend. Lunch will follow around 12:30pm. Please add your names to the sheet on the bench of you and your partner plan to attend. Thanks too to our staff without whom the club simply wouldn’t function. They mostly beaver away out of sight but I’d like to assure them that their efforts are greatly appreciated and their professionalism is acknowledged. Also a big “thank you” to Darren Hargreaves and his staff for managing our greens and the gardens so well for us throughout the year. Thanks also to our many Sponsors whose support is appreciated. Please join me in sparing a thought, especially at this time of year, for those of our members who aren’t enjoying good health and for whom life has become a struggle. Let us hope that their ailments respond to effective treatment and that they can soon play an active role again here with their friends at TBC. Finally, I’d like to wish you all a very happy festive season and an interesting and fulfilling New Year. May you and your families journey safely over the holiday period. Best wishes, Harvey Fuller Chairman.
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TeeBeeCee GazetteDECEMBER 2012FROM THE CHAIRMAN
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As another busy year draws to a close I’d like to take this opportunity to say a special “thank you” to the many members who have volunteered their time and their efforts to this wonderful club throughout the year. If clubs can be judged by the degree of input, collectively, from its members then TBC must surely rank up there with the best of them. We are indeed fortunate that so many are prepared to roll up their sleeves and pitch in when necessary. So “thank you” to all our volunteers and “thank you” to their families for supporting their involvement.
In appreciation of their efforts, the Board would like to invite all volunteers and their partners to attend a free game of bowls followed by a finger food luncheon at the club in their honour. This event will occur on Sunday morning, 9th December commencing with a fun game of bowls at 10:00am. I do hope that all of our volunteers will be able to attend. Lunch will follow around 12:30pm. Please add your names to the sheet on the bench of you and your partner plan to attend.
Thanks too to our staff without whom the club simply wouldn’t function. They mostly beaver away out of sight but I’d like to assure them that their efforts are greatly appreciated and their professionalism is acknowledged. Also a big “thank you” to Darren Hargreaves and his staff for managing our greens and the gardens so well for us throughout the year.
Thanks also to our many Sponsors whose support is appreciated.
Please join me in sparing a thought, especially at this time of year, for those of our members who aren’t enjoying good health and for whom life has become a struggle. Let us hope that their ailments respond to effective treatment and that they can soon play an active role again here with their friends at TBC.
Finally, I’d like to wish you all a very happy festive season and an interesting and fulfilling New Year. May you and your families journey safely over the holiday period. Best wishes, Harvey Fuller Chairman.
• GamingMachineNetClearancesareupby$1,530(2%)butthisisdespiteturnoverdecreasingby $231,155overthecorrespondingperiodlastyear. • Barreceiptsaredownby$20,959(15%)continuingadisturbingtrend(notuniquetoTBC). • NumbersattendingtheFridaynightBBQhavealsobeendisappointingoflatedespitetheprovisionof various specials added to the usual cost effective meals. Please join in with your friends for a reasonably priced“WineandDine”(maybethenewtitleforourFridaynightdinner).
• WefollowedupourgreatwinoverAsquithintheCliffBraybonTrophywithanotherstrongperformanceand convincing54shotwin(255/201)overStIvesinthe2012RonChristieTrophy. • Afteranimpressiveperformancebyallfourplayers,thewelldeserved2012ClubFoursChampionsare PeterHeal,BobSoutham,BobHawtree&BobAbdallahdefeatingtherunnersupteamofKevin Stutchbury,JohnTurvey,SimonFowler&GeoffHamilton26/17. • The2012HandicapPairswinnersareWarwickBridge&BryanPopplewelleventuallycomingawaywitha 30/18winoverDavidSkelly&GeoffHamilton.Thegamewasinthebalanceatthe17thendbut impressive, consistently good bowls by both Warwick and Bryan provided them with the thoroughly deserved prize. • Inperhapsthehighlightofthemonth,the“GrahamDewhurstDay”wascelebratedonthe24thNovember followingGraham’s50yearsasaclubmember.DennyEllisorganisedthedayandItakethefollowing pointsfromDenny’saddressonGraham;
Graham Dewhurst has been one of the most brilliant bowlers this club has known; the honour boards are testimony to this fact.
The achievement of winning six successive club major singles titles is a record that I expect to remain unchallenged in the future history of the Club. It is a record of achievement that would grace the honour boards of very few clubs in this State or in the Country for that matter: He won the Minor Singles, the Major Singles a total of 9 times, with 10 Club Pairs, 6 Club Triples and 7 Club Fours titles. In the majority of his wins he was the skip.
Graham, on this day the members thank you for your great contribution to the Club over 50 years, you may not these days play with the glory of years gone by: That does not diminish the fact that you are a legend in your lifetime in this Club!defeating John Huggart & Bruce Inglis 34/14 and Warwick Bridge & Bryan Popplewell defeating Ced Lewis & Tony Adams 28/21. The final is scheduled for Sunday morning 11th November.
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MEN’S BOWLING CLUB (TMBC)
BOWLS & MEMBERSHIP (TB&MC)
BAR, BBQ & GAMING
FINANCIAL
PLEASE NOTE THAT SATURDAY 8th DECEMBER IS THE MEN’S CLUB PRESENTATION DAY
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SAT 1 DEC All Sponsored Day CENTURY 21
SUN 2 DEC M 1st Sunday Century 21 Handicap Men’s Pairs CENTURY 21
WED 5 DEC M SponsoredDay ALLEN MATTHEWS Funerals
SAT 8 DEC All SponsoredDay CLASSICCOTTAGES
SUN 9 DEC All 2nd Sunday Jackpot Mixed Pairs CENTURY 21
WED 12 DEC M Sponsored Day TurramurraCOMMUNITYBANK
SAT 15 DEC All SponsoredDay CENTURY21
SUN 16 DEC All 3rdSundayMufti CENTURY21
WED 19 DEC M Sponsored Day SOUTHERNSUNSKINCLINIC
SAT 22 DEC All
SUN 23 DEC All 4thSunday CENTURY21
TUE 25 DEC ~ CHRISTMASDAY/CLUBCLOSED
WED 26 DEC All BoxingDay
SAT 29 DEC All
SUN 30 DEC All 5thSundaySpecialDay DoubleS CENTURY21
MON 31 DEC All New Year’s Eve
WED 2 JAN M Sponsored Day BCIB
SAT 5 JAN All SponsoredDay CENTURY 21 Cordeau Marshall
SUN 6 JAN M 1stSundayCentury21HandicapPairs CENTURY 21 Cordeau Marshall
WED 9 JAN M SponsoredDay I.G.A.BOBBINHEADROAD
SAT 12 JAN All Sponsored Day PINNACLEHEARINGPYMBLE
SUN 13 JAN All 2nd Sunday Jackpot Mixed Pairs CENTURY 21 Cordeau Marshall
SUN 13 JAN M Club Pairs Championships P1
WED 16 JAN M SponsoredDay GUARDIANFUNERALS
SAT 19 JAN All SponsoredDay AMANDAMACKNIGHTEyeQ
SUN 20 JAN All 3rd Sunday Mufti CENTURY 21 Cordeau Marshall
WED 23 JAN M TurramurraCOMMUNITYBANK
SAT 26 JAN All AustraliaDayTripleS CENTURY 21 Cordeau Marshall
SUN 27 JAN M ClubPairsChampionship P2
SUN 27 JAN All 4thSunday CENTURY 21 Cordeau Marshall
WED 30 JAN M Sponsored Day McCARROLL’SAUTOGROUP
MENS’ AND MIXED BOWLS PROGRAMME FOR DECEMBER & JANUARY 2013
WOMEN’S BOWLS PROGRAMME FOR DECEMBER & JANUARY 2013
TUE 4 DEC Social Bowls sp CENTURY 21 Cordeau Marshall 4 DEC Photos – Years Winners 11 DEC Christmas Party/Presentation Day
TUE8 JAN Bowlsresume–SocialBowls CENTURY21CordeauMarshall
*Note: alternating forehand and backhand deliveries is critical overall, as it provides additional data analysing the performanceofbothhandsforfurtherremedialtrainingifrequired.
• The medium length segment.(Jackisplacedonthe27mspot) The player then repeats the process above to complete the third and fourth ends to complete the medium length segment.
• The maximum length segment. (Jackisplacedonthemaximumspotonthe(T).
The player then repeats the process above to complete the fifth and sixth ends completing the maximum length segment to end the training session. ScoringMaximumscorecompletingthesixendsis24.(4foreachcompletedend)Scoreonepointforeachbowlatrestwithin30cmor60cmofthejack.Useofameasuringstick30cmforadvancedmeasuring,or60cmlesscriticalmeasuring.
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INNOVATION LAWN BOWLS PART 3 DRAWING PRACTICE
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Note: For convenience, training alone, the mat may be used to measure non-critical measurements, as its dimensions60cmlength,and30cmwidthmaybeutilised.
Accurate recording must be noted and maintained for all sessions, for monitoring trends and analysing performances, so important for grading and selection purposes.
Score guide: Interstate: 21 to 24 ; Zone: 17 to 20 ; Pennants 1/2: 14 to16 ; Pennants 3/5: 11 to 13 ; Pennant 4/7: 5 to 10 ; Social: 1 to 4 The above format is subject to Copyright associated with Super Bowl Reg. No J8720440 and may be played socially by club members at their club, but not be amended, conducted or used for any commercial purposes without first seeking my specific approval. “ Merry Christmas all and successful training for the New Year”. The Innovator Barry Hamer ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sampleacupofvodkatocheckquality.Takealargebowl,checkthevodkaagaintobesureitisofthehighestqualitythenRepeat.Turnontheelectricmixer.Beatonecupofbutterinalargefluffybowl.Add1teaspoonofsugar.Beatagain.Atthispoint,itisbesttomakesurethevodkaisstillOK.Tryanothercupjustincase.Turnoff the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fr...uit. Pick the fruit upoffthefloor,washitandputitinthebowlapieceatatimetryingtocountit.Mixontheturner.Ifthefrieddruit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the vodka to test for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Check the vodka. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add onetable.Addaspoonofsugar,orsomefink.Whateveryoucanfind.Greashtheoven.Turnthecaketin360degrees and try not to fall over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finishthevodkaandwipethecounterwithcat:)Happy Easter
Church Bulletin BloopersEveryone is asked to bring a jar of peanut butter which will be forwarded to the Potter’s House for distribution as part of the Food Baskets for greedy families during the month of June.
The new parking area looks great. Thanks to the men who turned out Saturday to help with the groveling.
Thank you to the over 100 people who filled the Community Center to help us with our destruction fund for the new fellowship hall.
Areyoureadyforthis?InvitesomeneighboursandcomealongfortheVacationBibleSchoolpicnic!Pleaseregister so we will have enough food on the clipboard in the fellowship hall.
The new landscaping looks wonderful. Special thanks to the ladies who have been working in the beds around the church grounds.
(I am delighted to learn that there are other people who have EDITING problems, not only me. Ed.)
PRESIDENT’S REPORT WOMEN’S CLUB Wherehastheyeargone! We certainly had a lovely day on Melbourne Cup day with yummy chicken sandwiches thanks to our wonderfulGing,spongecake,sweepsandsomemalemembersplayingandsharingthefundaywithus. Many thanks to all the ladies who helped on the day, special thanks to Sue Hamilton for organizing all the sweeps. On 29th November we will be hosting the Mid North Shore District Christmas luncheon and presentation of prizes to the district champions. Don’tforgetourChristmasluncheononTuesday11thDecember.GetouttheSantablingandgladragsandparty time will be the order of the day. Thank you to all the ladies on the committee, for another happy year of working together for the betterment of our club and members. You all make my job a pleasure. Thank you to everyone who has helped during the year whether making cakes, setting tables, providing fresh flowerstradingtablestuffbooksetcetc I hope you all have a very happy and safe Christmas with family and friends and looking forward to yet another New Year and the pennant season ahead.
Sandy White President.
MIXED BOWLS REPORTMany great games were played throughout 2012 and we look forward to many more next season.
Look to putting teams together with the prospect of winning a championship. If you aren’t in it then you
MAHJONG AND CARD DAY The first Card day for the new year will be Monday 21st January 2013. Please phone Jeanette Staniland for more enquiries Ph; 9489 5616. We have done very well this year. Thank you to all the supporters and helpers who make the Trading Table such a success. I wish all the members a very Happy and Jolly Christmas and a prosperous and safe New Year. Cheers, Eva Morris
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TRADING TABLE REPORT
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MAN RULESAT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN-FINALLY, THE GUYS’ SIDE OF THE STORY.
We always hear ‘THE RULES’ FROM THE FEMALE SIDE. NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE. THESEAREOURRULES!PLEASENOTE..THESEAREALLNUMBERED#1ONPURPOSE! 1.MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.1.LEARNTOWORKTHETOILETSEAT.YOU’REABIGGIRL.IFIT’SUP,PUTITDOWN.WENEEDITUP,YOUNEEDITDOWN.YOUDON’THEARUSCOMPLAININGABOUTYOULEAVINGITDOWN.1.CRYINGISBLACKMAIL.1.ASKFORWHATYOUWANT.LETUSBECLEARONTHISONE:SUBTLEHINTSDONOTWORK!STRONGHINTSDONOTWORK!OBVIOUSHINTSDONOTWORK!JUSTSAYIT!1.YESANDNOAREPERFECTLYACCEPTABLEANSWERSTOALMOSTEVERYQUESTION.1.COMETOUSWITHAPROBLEMonlyIFYOUWANTHELPSOLVINGIT.THAT’SWHATWEDO.SYMPATHYIS WHATYOURGIRLFRIENDSAREFOR.1.ANYTHINGWESAID6MONTHSAGOISINADMISSIBLEINANARGUMENT.INFACT,ALLCOMMENTSBECOMENULLANDVOIDAFTER7DAYS.1.IFYOUTHINKYOU’REFAT,YOUPROBABLYARE.DON’TASKUS..1.IFSOMETHINGWESAIDCANBEINTERPRETEDTWOWAYSANDONEOFTHEWAYSMAKESYOUSADOR ANGRY,WEMEANTTHEOTHERONE1.YOUCANEITHERASKUSTODOSOMETHINGORTELLUSHOWYOUWANTITDONE.NOTBOTH.IFYOU ALREADYKNOWBESTHOWTODOIT,JUSTDOITYOURSELF.1.WHENEVERPOSSIBLE,PLEASESAYWHATEVERYOUHAVETOSAYDURINGCOMMERCIALS.1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...1.ALLMENSEEINONLY16COLORS,LIKEWINDOWSDEFAULTSETTINGS..PEACH,FOREXAMPLE,ISAFRUIT,NOTAcolor.Pumpkinisalsoafruit.WehaveNOIDEAWHATMAUVEIS.1.IFWEASKWHATISWRONGANDYOUSAY‘NOTHING,’WEWILLACTLIKENOTHING’SWRONG.WEKNOW YOUARELYING,BUTITISJUSTNOTWORTHTHEHASSLE.1.IFYOUASKAQUESTIONYOUDON’TWANTANANSWERTO,EXPECTANANSWERYOUDON’TWANT TO HEAR..1.WHENWEHAVETOGOSOMEWHERE,ABSOLUTELYANYTHINGYOUWEARISFINE...REALLY.1.DON’TASKUSWHATWE’RETHINKINGABOUTUNLESSYOUAREPREPAREDTODISCUSSSUCHTOPICSAS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.1.YOUHAVEENOUGHCLOTHES.1.YOUHAVETOOMANYSHOES.1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUNDISASHAPE!1.THANKYOUFORREADINGTHIS.YES,IKNOW,IHAVETOSLEEPONTHECOUCHTONIGHT..BUTDIDYOU KNOWMENREALLYDON’TMINDTHAT?IT’SLIKECAMPING...(NotefromEd;sentbyaladyfriend(member)andIagreewithallthe#1issues.Commonsensereally)
ZEN TEACHINGSDo not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.
Alwaysrememberyou’reunique.Justlikeeveryoneelse.If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive or dead, try missing a couple of payments.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
A DATE FOR YOUR DIARY
CHRISTMAS DINNERSATURDAY 15th DECEMBER
@TurramurraBowlingClub
7.00for7.30pm
$30.00aheadpayabletothebarorSueHamilton
Dinner will be fresh seafood entrée followed by Chinese from Jensen,
finishing off with Christmas Desserts
AUSTRALIA DAY BOWLS SaturdayJanuary26th 2013 9.30am Card Call followed by an Australian
lunch watch the board for sign on sheet
REVERSE PRESENTS
We are collecting presents for the Salvation Army to distribute. They
are to be unwrapped and can be for either gender and any age group
including adults. Please leave them at the
Christmas tree on the stage.
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DECEMBER COMES
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( It is not a Christmas magazine if there aren’t any Christmas stories. So here is one, written by Sarnie Mitting a member of our U3A writing group headed
by Cecilia Inglis. Enjoy. Ed) Decembercamelikeablowtothebackofthehead.Whatawallop!Nowshehadtofindlastyear’spresent and Christmas-card lists. Where on earth had she put them? She scratched her scalp under the white ringlets and gazed about. Sometimes the job just seemed overwhelming.Ifonlyhereyesightweren’tsopoor–thesenewglassesmadehereyeslooklikegum-boils and everything look wiggly. How she was supposed to write gift-cards the Lord alone knew. Also, her joints ached so much she just couldn’t keep going the way she used to: in the pictures of her she’d always looked old, but then it was just make-up and wigs, now it was real. She sagged into an old chair and lifted her legs onto the footstool with a groan, gazing at her buniony feet in her old red slippers and sighing. Her false teeth clacked as she licked away a crumb from lunch and she frowned. As for him, she thought, he’s worse than useless. Hardly knows what day it is any more, can never rememberwhereheputanything.Well,nothingnewaboutthat,butnowhecan’tevenreadmaps!How is he going to do his job properly if he gets lost all the time? She wriggled her toes painfully and thought about the world. “Too many people already and they’re still breeding like the proverbial,” she muttered. “How in heaven are we supposed to cope?” A small tear appeared from under her little, round spectacles and she wiped it off impatiently with an arthritic finger. “No self-pity. That’s not what we want when December hits, now is it?” she growled as she hoisted herself from her chair and tottered off. “Of course, you can’t get the help you want these days. The ‘me’ generation isn’t interested in making anyone else happy, it’s just ‘I want it and I want it now’ for them. Still, needs must.”Sheheftedalargebellfromthetableandrangitwithasmuchenergyasshecouldmuster.“Elves!Father!December’shereagain!”calledMrsChristmasandwipedherwearybrow.
BRITISH HUMOUR IS DIFFERENTTheseareclassifiedadswhichwereactuallyplacedinU.K.Newspapers:
FREEYORKSHIRETERRIER 8yearsold,Hatefullittlebastard.Bites!FREEPUPPIES 1/2CockerSpaniel,1/2sneakyneighbour’sdog.FREEPUPPIES. MotherisaKennelClubregisteredGermanShepherd.Fatherisa Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound. COWS,CALVES:NEVERBRED Also1gaybullforsale.
