Thank God I Had a Miscarriage by Dr Sarah Farrant

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Thank God I Had a Miscarriage

By: DR. SARAH FARRANT

Presented By: Jeff Sohler

© 2008 - 2009 Thank God I...®. All Rights Reserved.

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INTRODUCTIONby John Castagnini

IMPORTANT...Please Do Not Skip This Section!

Why this ebook? What makes it so different? Not onlyare these answers important, they are integral to yourunderstanding of the story presented here. Please donot skip over this brief introduction in your eagernessto get to the meat of the ebook itself.

When I first thought to include Thank God I WasRaped as one of the stories for Thank God I...™ Volume1, the concept sent chills through my spine. Couldanyone who’s endured this brutal, horrifying experiencereally embrace these words? Over the years, I’veconsulted with countless women during their raperecovery. I chose the title after witnessing whattranspires for them when they come to this conclusionof gratitude. What became quite apparent over acourse of thousands upon thousands of conversationsis that we only evolve past the mental traum a fromsuch a happening when we can hold “the love for it inour hearts”

2 of 21 © 2008 - 2009 Thank God I...®. All Rights Reserved.



What is meant by “God”?

God — Certainly, the biggest three-letter word evercreated. Grand Organized Designer best describes theGod referred to in the Thank God I...™ books, websiteeducational material and seminars.

The thousands of people sharing their stories in thisseries all perceive God in their own light. Thank GodI...™ is about this network of people, willing to movebeyond having the right “name” for God.

Even the word “God” itself cannot finite the infinite.

Rather, God refers to a system governing the brillianceof what is, and is not.

What this book series is not supposed to be.

This series does not condone or promote any of theacts the writers have experienced, nor do we suggestin any way that anyone should either commit any ofthese acts or subject themselves to any of these acts.This series also does not promote or label any specifickind of behavior as “right” or “wrong”, nor were the storieswritten or the book published for the purpose of

suggesting that anyone rationalize their actions orbehavior.




In addition, the Thank God I...™ series does not promoteor deny any religion. Rather, it honors the existence ofreligion and all things as part of a perfect creation.

What is Thank God I...™ about?

Our intention with this series is to convey this one keyprinciple: Perfection permeates everything. Each time

we fail to recognize this principle, the next lesson tocome our way will once again offer us the opportunityto see the perfection and break through into freedom.In fact, finding perfection in the pain and pleasure ofour own personal tribulations is the only way we willever liberate ourselves from the bondage of patterns.

Whether it comes in a day, a year, or a lifetime away,situations will come into our lives that will force us tobecome thankful for “what was,” and to whole-heartedlyexperience “what is.”

What is meant by “Thanking God”?

During the creation phase of this series, we werefortunate to have as our ever-efficient assistant,Cassandra Gatzow, a beautiful twenty-three-year-oldwriter and poet. Just prior to coming to work with us,Cassandra was diagnosed with cervical cancer. A littleover a year and a half later, the cancer spread and she

left this world before the first book launched.




After Cassandra passed, my heart was struck by thewords she put to the page as she endured thisexperience. She wrote of her earth angels and herexplorations as she left her body to “dance with herangels.” She did not write about her passing, she wroteabout Thank God I...™ living as she moved through herlife’s greatest test, and her life’s ending. She viewedeach person, each moment as precious. How fortunate

she was, to see God in the now.

Imagine — this is what she wrote about her cancer:

“Tears fill my eyes daily with gratitude for every moment and every breath. It has allowed me to go after my

dreams, to live from my heart, and to be truly free. I thank God for my cancer and for allowing me to reach a place in me that I don’t think would have been possible without this experience. I am now twenty- three and feel that I have stepped into my skin proudly.I have felt an inner peace that many don’t find until later in life. I am truly grateful for all my earth angels and want to thank them for sharing with me this wonderful

journey”

...Cassandra

There are 4 million tasks to accomplish in order to

bring the Thank God I...™ network to the standard of ourvision. Thank you, Cassandra, for reminding me why




Thank God I...™ was conceived in the first place.

Thanking God is about the above. Not just what isabove this sentence; it is about what is above, guidingus at every moment. Beyond the pain, chaos, andconfusion of our circumstance exists true perfection.Thanking God is about finding this perfection. Thisplace of thanking God might seem nearly impossible to

find, but it is the only place we will find ourselves.

Thank God I...™ is true “gratitude”.

Sure, we all hear about the “good things” that people aregrateful for in their lives. But, is this gratitude? Thank

God I...™ gratitude is about a state of being. It is about astate of inspiration, non-judgment, and presence.Thank God I...™ gratitude is beyond the illusion ofpositive or negative. It is beyond the lies of “good” and“evil”. Thank God I...™ . gratitude is about finding God inevery word, thought, and deed. In spirit, we are beyondthe illusion of pain or pleasure and we are present withspirit. Thank God I...™ gratitude is about equal love forall that is, as it is, was, or ever shall become. Gratitudeis loving what we don’t “like” as much as loving what wedo “like”.

The diversity of authors and experiences

The intention of this series is to reach all of humanity,




every single unique creation. We did not base theselection of contributions to this series upon any faithor religious orientation. Each selected author took aformer challenge into their heart. The diversity ofauthors spans religions, countries, professions, age,race, nationality, and definitely experiences. Theyrange from strippers to doctors, from politicians to stay-at-home moms, and whoever they are, gratitude rules.

From alcoholism to molestation or rape, the law ofgratitude prevails with each of our authors.Thankfulness for whatever is, or is not, ultimately rulesevery one of our kingdoms.

The vision of Thank God I...™

Little did I imagine how lightning-fast Thank God I...™would circle the world. This network includesthousands of contributors, reaching millions of people,sharing not only their stories, but also their answers!Beyond the books, and the online community, we offerworldwide conference calls, workshops, and seminars!The vision of this series will provide everyone withinspecific communities information in order to evolvepast the emotions that are holding them back. Thepeople and the project are revolutionary.

“All things in nature proceed from certain necessity and

with the utmost perfection.” ...Baruch Spinoza




Thank God

I Had a Miscarriage

DR. SARAH FARRANT




At 3:00 p.m., I ran out of the toilet cubicle, tears rollingdown my eyes. Panic overcame me when Randallwasn't where I had left him waiting. Searching forRandall among the crowd of people in the Bordersbookstore, I eventually found him in the CD section. Iran toward him and collapsed into his arms, burying myhead in his chest. "What's the matter"? heasked as he tried to lift up my head to look into my

eyes. I couldn't face him. I kept snuggled in his chestand arms while staring at the ground.

"There's blood on my underpants!" Isobbed, allowing the tears to flow. "It... it... itwon't stop!" Randall bundled me up like a

celebrity trying to escape the paparazzi, and I slowlyclimbed into the back of our car and laid down, hopingthat would help to stop the bleeding. Randall hurried tothe driver's side, and we took off. We could go only asfast as the snowfall would allow.

"It would be good to get an adjustment,Sare," he said, trying to find me in his rear visionmirror.

"Yes," I agreed. Anything to stop the bloodloss, I thought. "Can you take me to Marie andTammy's"?

We didn't speak again until we arrived at our friends'




house. The only exchange between us was an energyof love. We both knew what was happening. The rideseemed to take forever. The Bellagio penthouse suitein Las Vegas where we had made love seemed lightyears away from where I was now. I felt my thoughtsfocus on the power of what I'd created.

I understood now how powerful my thoughts are in

creating the scenarios I wish to see. The snow fell, thewindshield wipers ticked like metronomes. I shut myeyes and replayed the pregnancy from conception topresent. I felt a blood clot leave my body.

I couldn't help but think about my daily mantra,

"It's okay to die." Guilt paralyzed my bodyas I lay in the back seat of the car, remembering thewords I had chosen to speak to our baby. I pictured thebreakfast table where I sat and spoke while Randallshowered. I'd been concerned with the loss parentingwould bring -- sleep, movies, flying, culturalexperiences, five-star restaurants, and freedom. I failedto entertain the possible gain of having children andbeing a parent. However, I kept my greatest fear underlock and key.

Why wasn't the exhaustion, fatigue, and nauseachanging? I would ask myself. I am almost three

months; people say it changes about now. Perhapsthis blood loss is the physiological dip where the




placenta takes over the production of the hormones togive life to the conceptus, and the corpus luteum is nolonger required. Yes, that's what it is. I felt more bloodflow from my body. In the back seat of the car, my twogreatest fears, birth and trust, confronted me.

They were the two reasons why I avoided pregnancyfor the twelve years of our relationship. Although at the

time I was studying chiropractic and the profession'sremarkable philosophy, I doubted the reality of aninnate (inborn, internal) intelligence -- that the bodythat forms, grows, and nurtures the baby also has theintelligence to birth the baby. I understood thephilosophy at an intellectual level, but right now, I was

being given an opportunity to experience thisunderstanding at a practical level. I curled into a fetalposition on the back seat of the car, my hands over myhead, and let out a deep primal scream as I realizedmy fears were fast approaching.

"No... !" I yelled. The contraction of myabdomen forced more blood from my body.

As we arrived at our friends' house, I felt weak andlimp. I was stunned. Randall helped me out of the car,tears rolling down his cheeks. Still no words werespoken, just love. What I wanted all along was now

being given to me. Present at our friends' house wasthe lecturer who filled in for the pediatrics class at




college. She's a midwife and a chiropractor, and thesynchronicity was astounding. I shared with them theevents thus far. They just listened, letting me talk. Weweren't there for long -- I felt tired and wanted to behome in our bed. As we left they wished us luck. WhenI walked down the stairs of their apartment, I felt bloodgush from my body.

We arrived home, and I went straight to our bed. I sleptfor what seemed like an eternity. I awoke in a daze,wondering if I had been dreaming or if in fact this wasreal. I got up and went to the toilet. When I urinated, Ididn't feel any blood loss from my vagina. I had amoment of reprieve. It was 8:00 p.m., and I had been

bleeding well over five hours. This isn't spotting, I toldmyself. This is a miscarriage: birth and death. I curledagain on our bed and let out a huge scream."Why? Why?

Why?" I yelled as a heavier flow of blood left mybody. I knew why; I knew what I created. I knew I madethis happen.

A couple of hours later, the contractions began. Nolonger just blood flow; it was now time to focus, tobreathe; a time to go further within and trust that mybody knew what to do. I had to get out of my own way.

The contractions intensified, and I felt the need to go tothe toilet -- to squat and to push. As I made my way to




the bathroom, I felt my sensitivity increase. I didn'twant to be touched. My heart rate quickened, and myskin dripped perspiration; I couldn't stop the diarrhea. Isat on the toilet and placed my left hand at the level ofmy uterus, an almost symbolic way of trying to touchour child, to nurture and to help it through its new

journey. My right hand gripped on the rim of the bath.As the contractions intensified, I felt I wanted to escape

my body. My breathing was fast and high-pitched, notdeep like I had experienced with a friend who hadrecently given birth. What's wrong? I asked myself.Why is this so painful -- physically, chemically, andemotionally?

The contractions came closer together, and I reacheda crescendo. I vomited all over the bathroom floor andthen felt the urge to push.

After a few pushes I felt a conceptus pass, and thenanother one -- my first indication that I was carryingtwins, and finally the placenta.

I buried my head in my hands, bowed my head to thefloor, and felt so guilty and ashamed at the thought ofkilling our children. I shook uncontrollably. Randallwiped the vomit from my face, my hair, and my hands,and with loving tears in his eyes, he ever so gently

picked me up off the toilet seat, and carried me back tothe bedroom. As we came out of our tiny bathroom,




I heard the flush of the toilet. "No... !" Iyelled as I collapsed on the bed, mortified.

Over the next months, I felt challenged by myhormones. My progesterone had plummeted post-birth,and I was angry, confused, and trapped -- feelings Ihadn't experienced at this intensity before. Randallnoticed the difference in me and decided to take me

away to a small town called Galena to a beautiful bed& breakfast, where I could escape the phone andthe knocks on the door. Much to my surprise, I tookwith me some beautiful watercolor paints and a deck ofself-healing cards. I wanted to draw, paint, andcommunicate with our children. During our stay, I was

reminded of the birth by each blood clot that stillpassed through my body, although they were muchless frequent. I sat at the window looking out over afield. The weather was cold, and Randall lit the fire.

I pulled three cards, one for me and one for each of ourchildren. I asked what I needed to know. My card said:

"All is well in my world: everything is working out for my highest good. Out of this situation only good will come.I am safe."

Then I pulled two cards - ironically one was male andone was female. The male card said:




"Life is simple and easy; all that I need to know at any given moment is revealed to me. I trust myself and I trust in life. All is well."

The female card read:

"I am beautiful, and everybody loves me.I radiate acceptance, and I am deeply loved by others. Love surrounds me and protects me".

I looked at these cards with an uncanny feeling. At thispoint, I understood two pertinent epiphanies. One, that

nothing is ever missing in our life. We have everythingwe need; however, it just might be in a form we havenot yet recognized or experienced.

Second, the world exists in balance. Here I am holdingour two children: one a male and one a female, having

just experienced birth and death with them, the perfectbalance. Both of them were teaching me to trust, tofeel safe. I went on to sketch the information I received.

Upon completion of the drawing and painting, I realizedthat we indeed hadn't lost our children. I saw that theywere in fact still with us; they had just changed form.

They were now a beautiful painting, which would hangbrightly in our children's rooms in the years to come.




The day after I finished painting, and experiencedthose epiphanies, the blood flow stopped. No longerdid I need to experience the loss, it no longer servedme. I had our children with us; they were now in apicture form.

Upon our return to Davenport, I felt a little shaky atgetting back into the swing of life. My hormones were

still up and down, and I was tired. The midwife andcollege lecturer, the lady at our friends' house thateventful day, approached me to ask if I would beinterested in speaking to the pediatrics class to sharemy story. I immediately said yes. Despite the ordealRandall and I had lived through in losing our children, I

always felt my life would unfold on the stage, sharingwith people the amazing power of the innateintelligence that lives inside us. And here I was beinggiven an opportunity to start it off, to share this vision.

Over the next eighteen months, I shared the story ofmy newfound trust in the body with hundreds ofstudents who were eager to hear and learn about thewisdom of the body.

In each audience, listeners responded with gratitudebecause that I gave a voice to the innateunderstanding of the body, which knows what to do

every time, all the time. Repeatedly, people wouldcome up to me afterward to share with me the current




form of their baby. I lived in awe of the power of thetruth I learned to share and felt humbled at the joypeople experienced. When the audience realized thisuniversal truth, they experienced a huge relief and anunderstanding that nothing is ever missing; it justchanges form. I was privileged to see listeners able toreconnect with their own "little ones," and torecognize the gift that had brought them to this point.

A few months into the next college trimester, I realizedI was pushing myself too much, and I said to Randall,"I'm not coping. I need to get away." Wedecided we would go to Mexico. He booked the tickets,and within a week, we were there. We went to

Adventura Palace, an adults-only resort, staying therefor a week. Here I got space, sleep, culturalexperiences, sun, and five-star restaurants -- things Ithought I'd miss when I became a parent.

It was here that I was truly able to distance from theevent, and in taking this distance, I was able to gainclarity and see another perspective on what had takenplace. I saw the gifts in all that had transpired.

Thank God I had a miscarriage. Both the miscarriageexperience and our children increased my trust that thebody knows what to do every time in any circumstance.

I didn't go off to the hospital to have a D & C. Ididn't call a doctor to find out if everything had passed




and to find out if I was okay. I didn't want anythingexternal interrupting my flow, the gift our "littleones" had given me -- the ultimate gift of trust. Ilearned first-hand to get the educated mind out of theway because it only interferes with what the innatealready knows.

This deep trust and respect for the body's innate

knowing enabled me to go on to have three remarkablehome births, by choice, all of them unassisted. Eachwas a beautiful dance; I didn't feel the pain that manypeople report. Each one gave me a gift of lookingwithin myself. Our first son enabled me to look at mychemical reality, our second son my emotional reality,

and our most recent addition, a little girl who enteredthe world via a breech home birth only thirteen monthsago, reframed my physical reality.

All of our children awakened channels in me that hadbeen dormant. After the birth of our second child, Ireceived volumes of information as to how my life wasto unfold. I asked the universe when I laid down to restone day, "How can I continue to serve and adjustpeople chiropractically from home"? I awoke withmy mind overflowing with instructions! Within theinformation, I received my inspiration. This was what Iwrote: "to share vitalistic philosophy with the

world and how it relates to health for the purpose ofchanging the health consciousness of individuals,




families, communities, cities, states, nations, and theworld; to inspire a desire in others to do their lifedifferently; to ask different questions." I thenwrote the word BOOK. Write a book.

As a result of my experience with our twins and oursubsequent home births, my first book explains theinnate intelligence we live with on a daily basis. The

book is titled The Vital Truth: Accessing thePossibilities of Unlimited Health. I understand from mymiscarriage experience that I'm here to share theunderstanding of vitalism and chiropractic, and howthey relate to pregnancy, birth, and health.

It's my inspiration to educate people on vitalism andthe chiropractic philosophical understanding of how thebody works, in relation to both itself and the universe. Iam inspired to further educate people, from a vitalisticand chiropractic perspective, on the physical, chemical,and emotional changes that may occur as we bringforth new life.

My vision is to open people's eyes to the power ofinnate intelligence. The Vital Truth: Accessing thePossibilities of Unlimited Health is making it possiblefor individuals to integrate into their life this uniqueunderstanding of health, the human body, and its

expression. Lives are being changed. This in turn ischanging the health consciousness of the




communities, cities, states, nations and the world.

The death and birth of our twins enabled me to awakenthe trust inside, to be humbled by the sheer genius ofthe body we live in. Their death and birth enabled meto ask different questions and to be awakened to newanswers. Their death and birth were pivotal in bringingme to where I am today. I have the beauty now of

adjusting people mentally via my book rather thanphysically. Nothing's ever missing; it just changes form.

. . .

Dr. Sarah Farrant, chiropractor, mother, author, and

international speaker, says, "I understand frommy miscarriage experience that I am here to share theunderstanding of vitalism and chiropractic and howthey relate to health, pregnancy, birth, and post-birth." She's recently established the GlobalPregnancy Centre, which will be the largesteducational online community where people learnabout the power of their body from a vitalisticperspective. Her book, The Vital Truth: Accessing thePossibilities of Unlimited Health, explains in greaterdetail the nature of our innate (internal, inborn)intelligence as it relates to health. The book is helpingindividuals integrate this unique understanding of

health, the human body, and its expression into theirlives. This in turn is having profound effects on




communities, cities, states, nations and the world. Youcan reach Dr. Farrant at [email protected]. Herwebsites are www.drsarahfarrant.com andwww.globalpregnancycenter.com.

Join the Thank God I…™ Community online to shareyour story and chat with the Thank God I…™ Authors .

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Thank God I Had a Miscarriage by Dr Sarah Farrant

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