The Adventures of Raising a SonThoughts from Campus Ministry

October 2017Dear Parents or Guardians of a Saint Louis Man: ARS #21

Saint Louis is a Catholic and religious oriented school, and as such, we place a priority on our Campus Ministry and Religion Department programs. Doing so results in the fulfillment of our mission and purpose as a Catholic Marianist school. We require our 5th to 10th graders to attend mandatory retreats. Students attending a retreat after the 10th grade do so because they wish to or because they have been encouraged to attend by their parents, friends, or teachers.

Our Saint Louis faculty embraces the retreat program, and all that it requires, to help the program be successful. Students are not penalized for missing classes to attend the retreats. The same is true of our coaches and athletes. In fact, our faculty and coaches assist students in keeping to their academic obligations when they attend retreats. Recently, right before departing for a retreat, one of our young men who planned to attend withdrew because he said his father felt that he had more valuable things to do. This relayed to us a message that we might not be providing clarification to our parents of what Saint Louis emphasizes and values. The best way to do this might be to tell you what happens on a retreat.

In grades 5 through 10, the young men have an opportunity to hear and talk about what life is all about, how each can contribute to his family, and how he can to relate to his friends in a way that is constructive and self-affirming. This is done in an atmosphere that is inviting, relaxed, and non-threatening. They are able to speak freely and their feelings are expressed naturally. These young men are able to be inquisitive and explore the ideas presented for their consideration.

The young gentlemen are given the opportunity to communicate with the older Saint Louis Men. Retreat leaders from the higher grades are carefully chosen and trained to be leaders. Their interest in leading the retreat is to help others and share their own life experiences. They are honest in talking about the mistakes they have made in order to help the retreatants avoid repeating them. They talk of the pain of disappointing their parents and of falling short of their goals.

Retreats after the 9th grade have a more mature focus. The retreats are more direct and specific in addressing the students’ relationships – with God, their family and with each other. Older students who share their life journeys make presentations. Drinking, taking drugs, unsafe conduct, taking responsibility, physical changes, promiscuity, being a contributing member to their family, and how to express affection and appreciation are just a few of the topics that are directly or indirectly addressed during the retreats.

These retreats are overnight and away from the Saint Louis campus. The opportunity to spend time away from family and school creates a different atmosphere and climate to share, listen, exchange feelings, ideas, and problems. The students are eager to talk and listen. They work hard, listen hard, and play hard.

During the last Sophomore Retreat, we conducted two exercises where the men attending experienced putting trust in another person or persons. After they went through this experience, we asked them whom do they trust. It seems they had never been asked this question before. At first there were blank expressions on their faces. After one bold student took a risk and shared with the group someone that he trusted, everyone joined in with different people, relatives, friends, and service people. They were beginning to reflect on their lives and how everyday events are important.

During the Junior Retreat (The EMMAUS), those who attended reviewed their lives up to the present time. They experienced exercises that made them aware of how at times they have been hurt and how they can start healing. The love they experience in friendship is demonstrated in a special and non-threatening way. They are allowed to react to their fellow retreatants honestly and openly. They leave this retreat with tangible expressions of their uniqueness and personal worth.

The Senior Retreat is called the KAIROS Retreat. This retreat requires that the school community and the family of the retreatants get involved. Since this is their last high school retreat and the retreatants are the most mature, the impact from the retreat is greater. This retreat is peer led, with leaders coming from those recent graduates who have attended KAIROS. The students leave realizing their own unique worth, how much they are loved, and how much they are valued. The families of those attending the retreat are touched as much as the students who attend.

All of the retreats at Saint Louis School are included in the tuition, and are subsidized by donations in an effort to reduce the overall cost. We believe that this is the best way to conduct the retreat program. Enclosed with this letter is the latest brochure from Campus Ministry describing the retreat program.

You can assist us in Campus Ministry by encouraging your son as his retreat approaches. For parents of Juniors and Seniors, be proactive, and ask which of the four retreats dates he is going to chose. We also encourage you to support your son if he is asked to lead a retreat. The leaders of the retreats also benefit and grow as much as the retreatants. Your support will help your son acquire an extra advantage that will build his confidence and feeling of self-worth. These two gifts will keep him ahead of his peers and fortify him to succeed in the goals he sets for himself.

Sincerely yours in Jesus and Mary,Fr. Allen DeLong, S.M.Fr. Patrick McDaid, S.M.Mr. Cory Simon

Campus Ministry

Campus Ministry at Saint Louis School fosters religious growth in light of Catholic tradition and the vision of Blessed Fr. William Joseph Chaminade by supporting all members of the Saint Louis community in their call to proclaim the faith, promote justice, and grow in their

personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Three different “pillars” constitute the primary principles that drive our approach. By learning and understanding these basic principles, we can develop a clearer picture of the legacy and community of Saint Louis. The three pillars are: Faith, Mary, Community, and Mission.

Faith: First and foremost, we are people of Faith; we are spiritual people who believe in a loving God and we live and act through service and prayer.

Mary: We turn to Mary, the mother of Jesus, as a model for Christian living. She lived her life in service to God: a life we aspire to live. She was the vessel through which Christ came into this world, and we too strive to impart his life today.

Community: Marianists place a high value on community, or ‘ohana. We support one another, pray together, work together, and some even live together. Community is a source of nourishment and power through which we better the world.

Mission: Just as Jesus came to earth to serve others, so we are called to reach out to our brothers and

sisters. Service, justice, and peace are important factors in the Marianist sense of mission, and we constantly work toward improving the condition of life among those less fortunate. We believe all men and women are created in the image and likeness of God, and we work to include rather than exclude.

Retreats

Each retreat at Saint Louis School highlights a specific pillar in order to deepen our understanding and experience. As the students become upperclassmen, the retreats pull together all the pillars, challenging the young men to grow deeper in their understanding of self and their relationship with God, as well as carry out their faith and put in into practice. A retreat is a special time for each division to unite, support and grow together spirituality. Each retreat is age-appropriate in length and depth of conversation and builds on the previous one, digging deeper into faith and spirituality as the students mature. Having already attended and experienced a retreat, upperclassmen may be invited to become leaders for future retreats. 5th Grade: Hanaia’na (Creation)Students in 5th grade are transported to Sea Life Park at Waimānalo near Makapu’u Point to experience an interactive retreat that highlights God’s connection of the Sea to the heart.

6th Grade: Kaiāulu (Community)Students in 6th grade spend a day experiencing opportunities to grow, and build relationships and community with each other. They will also learn to trust their classmates, to express emotions, and to deepen and understand their friendships.

7th grade: Mana‘o‘i‘o (Faith)Students in 7th grade attend a one-day retreat on campus that explores their relationship with God. After completing the 6th grade retreat, the young men will build on the importance of relationships

with one another, and together they explore having a relationship with God. Students will be challenged to reflect on their beliefs and how to express their faith.

8th grade: Mālia (Mary)Students in 8th grade attend a one-day retreat centered on Mary and the Marianists. Throughout the day, students will learn about Mary as a model of faith, as well as discover the Marianists whose spirit lies at the core of Saint Louis. The day is full of fun, interactive games, skits, and special guests!

9th grade: Hololani (Mission)Students in 9th grade will spend a day understanding the motto of Saint Louis School: mindful and faithful. This retreat will begin the four year journey of High School. 10th grade: Kākou Āpau (Inclusivity)Students in 10th grade will attend a two-day/one-night retreat off-campus engaging in diversity and inclusivity simulations. The retreat is designed to expand their world-views and help them become more aware of the ways they treat each other. They will also spend time reflecting on the difference among their class and ways to be more respectful of each other. The retreat will conclude by drawing the focus on the inclusive nature of Jesus Christ and the unity of all people in the Kingdom of God. 11th grade: EMMAUS (Journey)Students in the 11th grade will attend a three-day/two-night retreat off-campus. This retreat invites the juniors to explore their life-journey as they have lived it so far and how they can live it in the future. They do this exploration as a member of a community to see how they depend on each other and the communities they will become a part of in the future. Focusing on the Catholic-Christian call to practice and promote service, justice, and peace, this retreat will give the juniors an opportunity to put into practice the skills and beliefs instilled in them while at Saint Louis. 12th grade: KAIROS (A Sacred Time)Students in the 12th grade will attend a four-day/three-night KAIROS. This retreat allows seniors to see the value of the Christian faith as it is lived and experienced in the lives of other students and in the community. It gives them the opportunity to look within themselves and find their true worth and observe how this worth is reinforced in their relationships with God, their parents, their classmates, and their neighbors. It serves as a culmination of the retreat program, ending with a sending forth into the world and a challenge to bring about the Kingdom of God. Marianist LIFE - Living in Faith ExperienceThis program is designed to give selected Juniors a mainland opportunity to enhance their leadership skills and ability to minister to Saint Louis School and in the larger world of which they live.