The Big Bang Theory - 6x15 - .720p.hdtv.x264-Dimension.hi

7/29/2019 The Big Bang Theory - 6x15 - .720p.hdtv.x264-Dimension.hi

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100:00:02,630 --> 00:00:03,914I don't know why I avoided

200:00:03,916 --> 00:00:05,499the Harry Potter booksfor so long.

300:00:05,501 --> 00:00:06,917These are great.

400:00:06,919 --> 00:00:08,886I just started number six.

500:00:08,888 --> 00:00:10,304That's a good one.

600:00:10,306 --> 00:00:12,005Dumbledore dies in that one.

700:00:14,392 --> 00:00:17,811Yeah, I know,I didn't see it coming, either.

800:00:17,813 --> 00:00:20,264Why would you say that?

900:00:20,266 --> 00:00:21,498You brought up

the subject.

1000:00:21,500 --> 00:00:23,834I contributed an interestingfact on that subject.

1100:00:23,836 --> 00:00:25,853It's called the artof conversation.

12

00:00:25,855 --> 00:00:27,404Okay, your turn.

1300:00:28,890 --> 00:00:30,908That was a huge spoiler.

1400:00:30,910 --> 00:00:32,676Good.


2/37

1500:00:32,678 --> 00:00:35,195What is wrong with you?

1600:00:35,197 --> 00:00:37,748If I did that, you'd bitchabout it for weeks.

1700:00:37,750 --> 00:00:39,199Oh, really, Leonard?Are you going to have

1800:00:39,201 --> 00:00:40,150another one of your hissy fits?

1900:00:40,152 --> 00:00:43,153Hissy fits?I have hissy fits?

2000:00:43,155 --> 00:00:45,539Yes, and I have a theory why.

2100:00:45,541 --> 00:00:47,925Because ofyour lactose intolerance,

2200:00:47,927 --> 00:00:49,593you switched over to soy milk.

2300:00:49,595 --> 00:00:51,145Soy contains

2400:00:51,147 --> 00:00:53,163estrogen-mimicking compounds.

2500:00:53,165 --> 00:00:55,432I think your morning Cocoa Puffs

26

00:00:55,434 --> 00:00:58,552are turning youinto a hysterical woman.

2700:01:02,090 --> 00:01:04,024You are unbelievable.

2800:01:04,026 --> 00:01:06,059


3/37

I don't know whyI put up with you.

2900:01:06,061 --> 00:01:08,178You're controlling,you're irritating...

3000:01:08,180 --> 00:01:10,564There you go again--nag, nag, nag.

3100:01:11,616 --> 00:01:13,567You're only proving my point,little lady.

3200:01:13,569 --> 00:01:16,520You know what?Screw you, Sheldon.

33

00:01:16,522 --> 00:01:19,123You are the most annoying personI have ever met.

3400:01:19,125 --> 00:01:20,524What? I'm annoying?

3500:01:20,526 --> 00:01:22,793You criticize my behaviorall the time.

3600:01:22,795 --> 00:01:25,329"Sheldon, don't talkabout your bowel movements

3700:01:25,331 --> 00:01:26,863over breakfast."

3800:01:28,032 --> 00:01:29,666"Sheldon, when the presidentof the university

3900:01:29,668 --> 00:01:31,552"is giving a eulogyat a funeral,

4000:01:31,554 --> 00:01:33,837don't yawnand point at your watch."


4/37

4100:01:33,839 --> 00:01:35,973"Sheldon,don't throw away my shirts

4200:01:35,975 --> 00:01:37,224'cause you think they're ugly."

4300:01:37,226 --> 00:01:38,509You're impossible.

4400:01:38,511 --> 00:01:39,876That's it. I don't...

4500:01:39,878 --> 00:01:41,645I don't have toput up with this.

46

00:01:41,647 --> 00:01:43,964Actually, I have your signatureon a roommate agreement

4700:01:43,966 --> 00:01:45,382that says you do.

4800:01:45,384 --> 00:01:46,883Aw.

49

00:01:46,885 --> 00:01:49,520Here's what I thinkof your roommate agreement.

5000:01:49,522 --> 00:01:50,988(gasps)

5100:01:53,041 --> 00:01:55,409You pick that up right now.No.

5200:01:55,411 --> 00:01:57,828Roommate agreement,section 27, paragraph 5:

5300:01:57,830 --> 00:01:59,780The roommate agreement,like the American flag,


5/37

5400:01:59,782 --> 00:02:02,166cannot touch the ground.

5500:02:02,168 --> 00:02:04,401I don't care.

5600:02:04,403 --> 00:02:07,754I don't have to doanything you say because...

5700:02:07,756 --> 00:02:10,707I don't think I wantto live here anymore.

5800:02:10,709 --> 00:02:11,975Where are you going?

5900:02:11,977 --> 00:02:14,578

To live with Penny and not you,you crazy bastard.

6000:02:14,580 --> 00:02:17,531Crazy bastard?Yes.

6100:02:17,533 --> 00:02:19,583Leonard, wait.What?

6200:02:20,351 --> 00:02:22,186Dobby the elf diesin book seven.

6300:02:26,774 --> 00:02:30,427 Our whole universewas in a hot, dense state

6400:02:30,429 --> 00:02:34,231 Then nearly 14 billion years

ago expansion started... Wait!

6500:02:34,233 --> 00:02:35,866 The Earth began to cool

6600:02:35,868 --> 00:02:38,285 The autotrophs began to drool,Neanderthals developed tools


6/37

6700:02:38,287 --> 00:02:40,621 We built the Wall We built the pyramids

6800:02:40,623 --> 00:02:43,073 Math, Science, History,unraveling the mystery

6900:02:43,075 --> 00:02:45,108 That all startedwith a big bang

7000:02:45,110 --> 00:02:46,944 Bang!

7100:02:46,945 --> 00:02:50,945 The Big Bang Theory 6x15 The Spoiler Alert Segmentation

Original Air Date on February 7, 2013

7200:02:50,970 --> 00:02:55,970== sync, corrected by elderman ==

7300:02:56,482 --> 00:02:57,499Here you go.

7400:02:57,501 --> 00:02:59,167Great. Come on in.

7500:02:59,169 --> 00:03:00,485What, you don't say thank you?

7600:03:00,487 --> 00:03:01,787It's my suitcase.

7700:03:01,789 --> 00:03:04,289I lent it to you two years ago.

7800:03:04,291 --> 00:03:05,624Well, then, I should tell you

7900:03:05,626 --> 00:03:07,376I broke the wheeland the handle.

80


7/37

00:03:10,847 --> 00:03:13,181So, is everyonefrom Bernadette's company

8100:03:13,183 --> 00:03:14,332going to Vegas?

8200:03:14,334 --> 00:03:17,219No, just me, herand a couple of the big wigs.

8300:03:17,221 --> 00:03:18,854It's part of a bonus she got.

8400:03:18,856 --> 00:03:21,223Cool. Did she discovera cure for something?

8500:03:21,225 --> 00:03:22,307

Not exactly.

8600:03:22,309 --> 00:03:24,226They spent a ton ofmoney developing this

8700:03:24,228 --> 00:03:26,478dandruff medicationthat had the side effect

88

00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:28,480of horrible anal leakage.

8900:03:31,067 --> 00:03:33,285Is there a goodanal leakage?

9000:03:35,688 --> 00:03:37,873Anyway, it wasBernie's idea

9100:03:37,875 --> 00:03:39,958to rebrand the stuff as acure for constipation.

9200:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,209(chuckles)

93


8/37

00:03:41,211 --> 00:03:43,628Way to make lemonade.

9400:03:43,630 --> 00:03:46,531You know, from around thecorner where fudge is made.

9500:03:49,252 --> 00:03:51,670Hey, I got a favor to ask.

9600:03:51,672 --> 00:03:53,422Sure.

9700:03:53,424 --> 00:03:55,424My mom's been kind ofan emotional wreck

9800:03:55,426 --> 00:03:58,427since that dentist

she was dating dumped her.

9900:03:58,429 --> 00:04:00,345Dumped her?What, did he use a forklift?

10000:04:00,347 --> 00:04:01,596(laughing)

10100:04:04,216 --> 00:04:05,851

Sorry.

10200:04:05,853 --> 00:04:08,437There's nothing funnyabout morbid obesity.

10300:04:08,439 --> 00:04:10,055She's huge. It was funny.

10400:04:10,057 --> 00:04:11,106

(laughing)

10500:04:11,108 --> 00:04:12,441Anyway, I wasjust hoping

10600:04:12,443 --> 00:04:15,060that maybe you could check in


9/37

on her tomorrow night

10700:04:15,062 --> 00:04:17,079and make sure she's doing okay.

10800:04:17,081 --> 00:04:19,731Dude, I'm a single man.

10900:04:19,733 --> 00:04:22,918Saturday nightis my party night.

11000:04:22,920 --> 00:04:25,370Really?What do you got going on?

11100:04:25,372 --> 00:04:27,622I don't know,maybe drive down to Hollywood,

11200:04:27,624 --> 00:04:30,292hit a few hot spots,see if I can get lucky.

11300:04:30,294 --> 00:04:32,377Okay, tell meif this sounds familiar.

11400:04:32,379 --> 00:04:33,912

(clears throat)

11500:04:33,914 --> 00:04:36,247You pay $15 to park,

11600:04:36,249 --> 00:04:37,849you stand on the sidewalkfor an hour

11700:04:37,851 --> 00:04:39,551

until you break downand give the bouncer

11800:04:39,553 --> 00:04:40,68520 bucks to let you in.

11900:04:40,687 --> 00:04:42,187You push your


10/37

way to the bar,

12000:04:42,189 --> 00:04:44,306where you drinkan $18 cosmopolitan,

12100:04:44,308 --> 00:04:46,424then you stare at a pretty girl

12200:04:46,426 --> 00:04:48,560and imagine your perfect lifetogether.

12300:04:48,562 --> 00:04:49,861Your children, grandchildren.

12400:04:49,863 --> 00:04:51,613Meanwhile, she leaveswith a guy who claims

12500:04:51,615 --> 00:04:53,765he wroteBeverly Hills Chihuahua.

12600:04:54,784 --> 00:04:56,651Then you give upon anyone ever loving you,

12700:04:56,653 --> 00:04:58,103

go to Marie Callender's,buy a pie

12800:04:58,105 --> 00:05:01,873and eat it in your carin the parking lot.

12900:05:02,809 --> 00:05:04,576What time should I beat your mother's?

13000:05:04,578 --> 00:05:07,329I told her around 7:00.

13100:05:08,464 --> 00:05:10,999I swear, that man isthe most egotistical,

132


11/37

00:05:11,001 --> 00:05:13,118insufferable humanbeing I have ever met.

13300:05:13,120 --> 00:05:15,921Yeah, but you two makesuch a cute couple.

13400:05:17,807 --> 00:05:19,758Like Burt and Ernie.

13500:05:20,810 --> 00:05:24,729You guys even teach me stuffabout words and numbers.

13600:05:24,731 --> 00:05:26,731Well, I've had it.I am done.

137

00:05:26,733 --> 00:05:28,967I can't... I can't live with himfor one more minute.

13800:05:28,969 --> 00:05:30,852Wow. Where are you going to go?

13900:05:30,854 --> 00:05:33,121I was thinkinghere with you.

14000:05:35,491 --> 00:05:37,442Oh.

14100:05:37,444 --> 00:05:39,477That a problem?

14200:05:39,479 --> 00:05:40,796No, not at all.

143

00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:41,813No, it's-it's great.

14400:05:41,815 --> 00:05:43,081It's terrific. I...

14500:05:43,083 --> 00:05:45,650You know, I just can't help


12/37

feel bad about Sheldon.

14600:05:45,652 --> 00:05:46,651I mean...

14700:05:46,653 --> 00:05:49,037how's he going to get bywithout you?

14800:05:49,039 --> 00:05:51,923Ernie.

14900:05:51,925 --> 00:05:53,708He's got Amy now.

15000:05:53,710 --> 00:05:56,161Yeah, he does,but it's not the same.

15100:05:56,163 --> 00:05:57,429Why?

15200:05:58,381 --> 00:06:00,465Um...

15300:06:00,467 --> 00:06:02,017Well, um, all right.

154

00:06:02,019 --> 00:06:04,352You-you know how in Harry Potterand the Half-Blood Prince,

15500:06:04,354 --> 00:06:05,854Ron didn't abandon Harryjust because

15600:06:05,856 --> 00:06:07,556Harry starteddating Ron's sister?

15700:06:07,558 --> 00:06:10,592Harry and Ginnyget together?

15800:06:14,280 --> 00:06:16,531Sorry.Spoiler alert.


13/37

15900:06:16,533 --> 00:06:19,517My point is, as muchas I want to live with you,

16000:06:19,519 --> 00:06:21,987I can't do it knowinghow much Sheldon needs you.

16100:06:21,989 --> 00:06:23,839Please, the onlything he needs me for

16200:06:23,841 --> 00:06:25,407is to be his whipping boy,

16300:06:25,409 --> 00:06:27,709his-his stooge, his doormat.

16400:06:27,711 --> 00:06:30,528Well, you know what they say:if it ain't broke...

16500:06:32,364 --> 00:06:33,832Wow.

16600:06:33,834 --> 00:06:36,418It sounds to me like you don'twant us to live together.

16700:06:36,420 --> 00:06:37,786No. No, no, I do.

16800:06:37,788 --> 00:06:39,204I do. It's just...

16900:06:39,206 --> 00:06:41,539I mean, it's a really big step.

17000:06:41,541 --> 00:06:42,540Is it?

17100:06:42,542 --> 00:06:43,708We're together all the time.

17200:06:43,710 --> 00:06:45,143


14/37

Financially,it makes great sense.

17300:06:45,145 --> 00:06:47,679Can you think of one reasonwhy we shouldn't do this?

17400:06:48,848 --> 00:06:51,516Well... um...

17500:06:51,518 --> 00:06:55,570I'm just a little thirsty.Yeah.

17600:06:59,358 --> 00:07:01,776I got nothing.

17700:07:01,778 --> 00:07:03,328Great. I'll go get my stuff.

17800:07:03,330 --> 00:07:05,947(laughs nervously)Yeah.

17900:07:07,867 --> 00:07:10,568Okay, all right,don't freak out.

18000:07:10,570 --> 00:07:12,837

You can make this work.

18100:07:12,839 --> 00:07:15,240Oh, could you clear offa shelf for me in the bathroom?

18200:07:15,242 --> 00:07:17,676I take a lot of medicine.

18300:07:18,511 --> 00:07:21,596

Oh, please letsome of it be Xanax.

18400:07:25,051 --> 00:07:27,936MRS. WOLOWITZ:Are you ready for dessert?

18500:07:27,938 --> 00:07:29,971


15/37

(grunts)

18600:07:29,973 --> 00:07:31,773No, thank you, Mrs. Wolowitz.

18700:07:31,775 --> 00:07:34,826As it is, I'm going to haveto carry my stomach out of here

18800:07:34,828 --> 00:07:37,428like I'm a firemanrescuing an infant.

18900:07:39,265 --> 00:07:40,232Oh, please.

19000:07:40,234 --> 00:07:43,718You're a tall glassof brown water.

19100:07:43,720 --> 00:07:45,120Have dessert.

19200:07:45,122 --> 00:07:46,821Well, I-I really couldn't.

19300:07:46,823 --> 00:07:49,074But, uh, I've had a lovely timeeating your brisket

19400:07:49,076 --> 00:07:51,576and hearing about the thingsyou've had removed

19500:07:51,578 --> 00:07:53,912from your body over the years.

19600:07:53,914 --> 00:07:57,115Didn't know you could have

a cyst inside another cyst.

19700:07:58,167 --> 00:08:00,936The doctor said they werelike Russian nesting dolls.

19800:08:00,938 --> 00:08:04,256Well, if you have to go,


16/37

19900:08:04,258 --> 00:08:07,592how about I put a littledoggie bag together for you?

20000:08:07,594 --> 00:08:09,761That would be lovely.Thank you.

20100:08:09,763 --> 00:08:11,913(Mrs. Wolowitz sobbing)

20200:08:14,066 --> 00:08:16,217Mrs. Wolowitz, uh...

20300:08:16,219 --> 00:08:18,103are you okay?

204

00:08:18,105 --> 00:08:19,271Don't mind me.

20500:08:19,273 --> 00:08:21,139I just crywhen I'm lonely

20600:08:21,141 --> 00:08:23,758and have nothingto live for.

20700:08:28,714 --> 00:08:30,749I, uh...

20800:08:30,751 --> 00:08:33,084I suppose I could stayfor some dessert.

20900:08:33,086 --> 00:08:35,186Great. You likechocolate chip cheesecake?

21000:08:35,188 --> 00:08:36,554Sure.

21100:08:36,556 --> 00:08:38,757I'll make one.

212


17/37

00:08:41,260 --> 00:08:45,096One vintage Mr. Mxyzptlkaction figure.

21300:08:45,098 --> 00:08:46,464That's Leonard's.

21400:08:46,466 --> 00:08:49,267Children's toy.

21500:08:49,269 --> 00:08:52,604One Star Trek:The Next Generation phaser.

21600:08:52,606 --> 00:08:53,972That's Leonard's.

21700:08:53,974 --> 00:08:57,058Children's toy.

21800:08:57,060 --> 00:09:01,313One Game of Thrones collector'sedition Longclaw sword.

21900:09:01,315 --> 00:09:04,199Oh... Leonard and Ibought that together.

22000:09:04,201 --> 00:09:07,369

That's a bitof an ethical conundrum.

22100:09:08,237 --> 00:09:10,872Eh, I'll keep it.

22200:09:10,874 --> 00:09:13,358So, uh, what's your planmoving forward?

223

00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:16,961Uh, suppose I'll have to findand cultivate a new roommate.

22400:09:16,963 --> 00:09:18,880What a taskthat will be.

225


18/37

00:09:18,882 --> 00:09:22,550Do you know how uncivilizedLeonard was when I took him in?

22600:09:22,552 --> 00:09:24,235No.

22700:09:24,237 --> 00:09:28,423Oh, it took me forever to gethim on a bathroom schedule.

22800:09:28,425 --> 00:09:32,043He would just gowhenever the mood struck him.

22900:09:32,045 --> 00:09:33,878Like a dog-boy.

23000:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,880

Exactly.

23100:09:35,882 --> 00:09:37,515What if you couldfind a roommate

23200:09:37,517 --> 00:09:39,267who was a scientist

23300:09:39,269 --> 00:09:42,103

and already familiarand comfortable with your ways?

23400:09:42,105 --> 00:09:43,671That would be ideal.

23500:09:43,673 --> 00:09:45,340If a person like that existed,

23600:09:45,342 --> 00:09:48,026

I would sign on,no further questions asked.

23700:09:48,861 --> 00:09:51,446Great. Here I am!

23800:09:56,535 --> 00:09:58,253Wait.


19/37

23900:09:58,255 --> 00:10:00,238Here who is where?

24000:10:00,240 --> 00:10:02,290Me.

24100:10:02,292 --> 00:10:05,093Aren't I yourperfect roommate?

24200:10:05,095 --> 00:10:07,078Um...

24300:10:07,080 --> 00:10:08,380Think about it, Sheldon.

24400:10:08,382 --> 00:10:09,514

I'm not a stranger,

24500:10:09,516 --> 00:10:11,132we're intellectuallycompatible,

24600:10:11,134 --> 00:10:13,251I'm willing to chauffeuryou around town,

247

00:10:13,253 --> 00:10:14,519and your personality quirks,

24800:10:14,521 --> 00:10:16,471which others find abhorrentor rage-inducing,

24900:10:16,473 --> 00:10:18,223I find cute as a button.

250

00:10:19,442 --> 00:10:21,359What do you think?

25100:10:27,149 --> 00:10:29,284Um...

25200:10:29,286 --> 00:10:32,570Tell me one reason why this


20/37

isn't a fantastic idea.

25300:10:32,572 --> 00:10:35,273Um...

25400:10:35,275 --> 00:10:37,325See? You can't.

25500:10:37,327 --> 00:10:38,793I'm gonna go seeif Leonard's room

25600:10:38,795 --> 00:10:41,212is big enough for my water bed.

25700:10:43,615 --> 00:10:46,000Um...

258

00:10:47,103 --> 00:10:50,288Good buddy Leonard.Good buddy Leonard.

25900:10:50,290 --> 00:10:53,475Good buddy Leonard.

26000:10:54,310 --> 00:10:55,727What do you want?

261

00:10:55,729 --> 00:10:58,263Hey, good buddy.

26200:10:58,265 --> 00:10:59,347So, uh, I was

26300:10:59,349 --> 00:11:00,932just talking to Amy,

26400:11:00,934 --> 00:11:02,267

and she made me realize

26500:11:02,269 --> 00:11:04,686that this little dust-upbetween you and me

26600:11:04,688 --> 00:11:06,271is much ado about nothing.


21/37

26700:11:06,273 --> 00:11:07,522Is that so?

26800:11:07,524 --> 00:11:08,639Yes.

26900:11:08,641 --> 00:11:10,658All is forgiven,so come back home.

27000:11:10,660 --> 00:11:12,944I'll make yousome soy hot chocolate,

27100:11:12,946 --> 00:11:15,413and then I'll you tell youabout our exciting new

27200:11:15,415 --> 00:11:18,082devil-may-care bathroom policy.

27300:11:21,504 --> 00:11:23,154Cut to the chase, Sheldon.

27400:11:23,156 --> 00:11:25,840Okay. Amy's decidedshe wants to move in with me,

27500:11:25,842 --> 00:11:28,676so I need you to come back home,you lovable scamp.

27600:11:30,162 --> 00:11:32,714That's a lot of product.

27700:11:32,716 --> 00:11:33,831Hey.

27800:11:33,833 --> 00:11:35,216What's going on?Oh, get this:

27900:11:35,218 --> 00:11:36,634Suddenly, Sheldonwants me back


22/37

28000:11:36,636 --> 00:11:39,170because Amy wantsto move in with him.

28100:11:39,172 --> 00:11:41,172Really? Interesting.

28200:11:41,174 --> 00:11:43,975Well, too late, pal.I'm not going anywhere.

28300:11:43,977 --> 00:11:46,277Penny and I are very happyliving together.

28400:11:46,279 --> 00:11:47,445Isn't that right?

285

00:11:47,447 --> 00:11:48,646It's like the happiness

28600:11:48,648 --> 00:11:51,316won't ever leavethe apartment.

28700:11:51,318 --> 00:11:52,484Leonard, please.

288

00:11:52,486 --> 00:11:54,736You know Amy moving inmarks a level of intimacy

28900:11:54,738 --> 00:11:56,687our relationshipisn't ready for.

29000:11:56,689 --> 00:11:59,073Yes! That is a real thing.

29100:11:59,075 --> 00:12:01,192And it doesn't mean youdon't care about each other;

29200:12:01,194 --> 00:12:03,161it just means thingsare moving at a pace


23/37

29300:12:03,163 --> 00:12:05,196you're not comfortable with,and that's fine.

29400:12:05,198 --> 00:12:07,131Well, if he doesn'twant to live with her,

29500:12:07,133 --> 00:12:09,000then he shouldtell her how he feels.

29600:12:09,002 --> 00:12:10,919Well, maybe he doesn'tknow how to say it

29700:12:10,921 --> 00:12:12,086without hurtingher feelings.

29800:12:12,088 --> 00:12:13,137Feelings?

29900:12:13,139 --> 00:12:15,640What am I, a hippieat a love-in? No.

30000:12:15,642 --> 00:12:17,041The problem is,

30100:12:17,043 --> 00:12:18,760she laid out a seriesof logical arguments

30200:12:18,762 --> 00:12:19,844that I couldn't refute.

30300:12:19,846 --> 00:12:21,145That is the worst,

isn't it?

30400:12:21,147 --> 00:12:22,713Yes.

30500:12:22,715 --> 00:12:24,933I'm sorry, Sheldon.I can't help you.


24/37

30600:12:24,935 --> 00:12:26,100Oh, spoiler alert:

30700:12:26,102 --> 00:12:28,570This door's aboutto slam in your face.

30800:12:29,738 --> 00:12:31,072Oh, there you are.

30900:12:31,991 --> 00:12:34,959When do I get a keyto our apartment?

31000:12:36,779 --> 00:12:38,997Um...

311

00:12:47,529 --> 00:12:49,696(phone ringing)

31200:12:55,519 --> 00:12:56,653Hello?

31300:12:56,655 --> 00:12:58,838Hey. How'd it go last nightwith my mom?

314

00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:00,757Okay, I guess.

31500:13:00,759 --> 00:13:02,075What time did you leave?

31600:13:02,077 --> 00:13:04,210(yawns)

31700:13:04,212 --> 00:13:07,530

Actually, I'm still here.

31800:13:07,532 --> 00:13:10,199What? You spent the night?

31900:13:10,201 --> 00:13:12,018Yeah. Uh...


25/37

32000:13:12,020 --> 00:13:16,039after dinner, we watcheda rerun of Rockford Files,

32100:13:16,041 --> 00:13:17,641and then she opened a bottle

32200:13:17,643 --> 00:13:20,209of, uh, cream sherry,and the next thing I know,

32300:13:20,211 --> 00:13:23,513she was tucking meinto your bed.

32400:13:23,515 --> 00:13:26,399You wore my pajamas?

325

00:13:26,401 --> 00:13:27,550Mm-hmm.

32600:13:27,552 --> 00:13:29,402How do you sleepin these things?

32700:13:29,404 --> 00:13:31,237Silk pajamas on satin sheets?

328

00:13:31,239 --> 00:13:34,274I slid out of the bed,like, three times.

32900:13:34,276 --> 00:13:36,660MRS. WOLOWITZ:Rajesh!

33000:13:36,662 --> 00:13:37,794You up?

33100:13:37,796 --> 00:13:39,079You ready for breakfast?

33200:13:39,081 --> 00:13:41,031Oh, boy. Breakfast.

33300:13:41,899 --> 00:13:43,083


26/37

Okay, Raj, listen to me.

33400:13:43,085 --> 00:13:44,567You need to get out of there.

33500:13:44,569 --> 00:13:49,706But I have a cream sherryhangover and I smell blintzes.

33600:13:49,708 --> 00:13:52,425If you don't leave now,she'll use food and guilt

33700:13:52,427 --> 00:13:54,594to keep you therefor the rest of your life.

33800:13:54,596 --> 00:13:56,429Oh, Howard, stop.

33900:13:56,431 --> 00:13:57,630Trust me, you're not Jewish.

34000:13:57,632 --> 00:13:58,882That's how they get you.

34100:13:58,884 --> 00:14:01,468You're being silly.

34200:14:01,470 --> 00:14:03,520I can leave whenever I want.

34300:14:03,522 --> 00:14:05,755Oh, really? Where areyour clothes and your shoes?

34400:14:05,757 --> 00:14:08,291They're on the chair,right over...

34500:14:09,694 --> 00:14:12,462Oy vey.

34600:14:16,617 --> 00:14:18,718Hello, home wrecker.

347


27/37

00:14:21,405 --> 00:14:22,989What did I do?

34800:14:22,991 --> 00:14:24,758You gave Leonardsomewhere to go.

34900:14:24,760 --> 00:14:28,144Thanks to you, Amy's out buyinghis and hers bath towels.

35000:14:28,146 --> 00:14:30,213Like I'd ever dry myselfwith something

35100:14:30,215 --> 00:14:32,465that has a possessive pronounon it.

352

00:14:32,467 --> 00:14:34,134Okay.

35300:14:34,136 --> 00:14:37,120Listen, the truth is

35400:14:37,122 --> 00:14:38,505I don't want him living with me.

35500:14:38,507 --> 00:14:40,090

Great. Kick him out.

35600:14:40,092 --> 00:14:42,308Break his heart.Everybody wins.

35700:14:42,310 --> 00:14:43,977No, I don't wantto break his heart.

358

00:14:43,979 --> 00:14:45,261I love him.

35900:14:45,263 --> 00:14:46,730This is just happening too fast.

36000:14:46,732 --> 00:14:47,964You think this is fast?


28/37

36100:14:47,966 --> 00:14:49,182It's just a matter of time

36200:14:49,184 --> 00:14:51,634before I see Amy's leg stubblein my shower.

36300:14:51,636 --> 00:14:53,403Yeah, and I've seen those legs.

36400:14:53,405 --> 00:14:56,523You might wantto get some Drano.

36500:14:56,525 --> 00:14:58,108Hold on.

366

00:14:58,110 --> 00:15:00,026If you don't wantto live with Leonard,

36700:15:00,028 --> 00:15:01,310why don't you just tell him?

36800:15:01,312 --> 00:15:02,662Well, you know how he is.

369

00:15:02,664 --> 00:15:04,164He's sensitive and emotional.

37000:15:04,166 --> 00:15:08,201That's because he drinkstoo much soy milk.

37100:15:08,203 --> 00:15:09,836Well, I don't knowwhat else we can do

37200:15:09,838 --> 00:15:11,037but tell them the truth.

37300:15:11,039 --> 00:15:12,756I suppose there's no choice

37400:15:12,758 --> 00:15:15,592


29/37

but to face the crying,angry accusations

37500:15:15,594 --> 00:15:17,644and the high-pitched wailsof despair.

37600:15:17,646 --> 00:15:18,945Yeah.

37700:15:18,947 --> 00:15:21,881And who knowshow Amy will react.

37800:15:25,302 --> 00:15:27,003Here's some more ice.

37900:15:27,005 --> 00:15:28,805Oh, thanks.

38000:15:28,807 --> 00:15:30,690What were we thinking?

38100:15:30,692 --> 00:15:34,227We should have just done itthe regular way.

38200:15:34,229 --> 00:15:36,512Those Chinese acrobats

in Cirque du Soleil

38300:15:36,514 --> 00:15:39,115made it look so easy.

38400:15:39,117 --> 00:15:41,985Honestly,if I could bend that far,

38500:15:41,987 --> 00:15:44,821

what would I need with you?

38600:15:46,240 --> 00:15:49,659If you could bend that far,you'd be doing us both a favor.

38700:15:52,163 --> 00:15:54,330(phone ringing)


30/37

38800:15:57,168 --> 00:15:58,751Hey, Raj. What's up?

38900:15:58,753 --> 00:15:59,869You were right!

39000:15:59,871 --> 00:16:02,172I can't get out of here!

39100:16:02,174 --> 00:16:04,257You're stillat my mother's?

39200:16:04,259 --> 00:16:05,374I'm trapped.

39300:16:05,376 --> 00:16:07,477

My clothes have beenin the laundry all day,

39400:16:07,479 --> 00:16:08,945and she hid my keys.

39500:16:08,947 --> 00:16:10,897I think they might bein her bra,

396

00:16:10,899 --> 00:16:13,349because she jingleswhen she walks.

39700:16:13,351 --> 00:16:14,884What do I do?

39800:16:14,886 --> 00:16:16,603Hey, you wanted a womanin your life.

39900:16:16,605 --> 00:16:18,571Now you got one.

40000:16:18,573 --> 00:16:20,440Come on, Howard, help me.

40100:16:20,442 --> 00:16:23,893


31/37

MRS. WOLOWITZ: Rajesh, tatellah,I ran you a bath.

40200:16:23,895 --> 00:16:26,663Oh, my God.

40300:16:26,665 --> 00:16:30,617She's not gonna bathe me,is she?

40400:16:32,136 --> 00:16:35,371Gee, I wish I could tell you no.

40500:16:38,959 --> 00:16:41,427All right, well,thanks again for helping me out.

40600:16:41,429 --> 00:16:43,379But, Howard...

40700:16:43,381 --> 00:16:45,431Should we go backand rescue him?

40800:16:45,433 --> 00:16:46,633It's too late.

40900:16:46,635 --> 00:16:48,417We'll see him

at his Bar Mitzvah.

41000:16:50,688 --> 00:16:52,255Here you go.

41100:16:52,257 --> 00:16:55,308I picked up the Chinese foodjust the way Leonard used to.

41200:16:55,310 --> 00:16:57,310

Is it kung pao chicken?Yes.

41300:16:57,312 --> 00:16:59,229Brown rice, not white rice?Yes.

41400:16:59,231 --> 00:17:00,780


32/37

Spicy mustardfrom the Korean deli?

41500:17:00,782 --> 00:17:02,282Yes. I did good, right?

41600:17:02,284 --> 00:17:04,767(sadly):Yes.

41700:17:05,619 --> 00:17:07,436Amy,

41800:17:07,438 --> 00:17:10,273are you worriedthat us living together

41900:17:10,275 --> 00:17:12,959will take the mystery

out of our relationship?

42000:17:12,961 --> 00:17:13,960No.

42100:17:13,962 --> 00:17:16,296Yeah, why would you?

42200:17:16,298 --> 00:17:18,298Oh, and, uh, check this out.

42300:17:18,300 --> 00:17:19,666I took the liberty of scripting

42400:17:19,668 --> 00:17:21,968a new outgoing voice mailmessage for both of us.

42500:17:26,340 --> 00:17:28,174"Hello. This is Sheldon."

42600:17:28,176 --> 00:17:29,392"And this is Amy."

42700:17:29,394 --> 00:17:31,060"We're not home right now."

428


33/37

00:17:31,062 --> 00:17:34,347"'Cause we outdropping science, son."

42900:17:39,370 --> 00:17:41,704BOTH:"Leave a message."

43000:17:43,941 --> 00:17:45,158Beep.

43100:17:45,160 --> 00:17:47,610(laughs)

43200:17:47,612 --> 00:17:50,163You can't live here.

43300:17:50,165 --> 00:17:52,015What?

43400:17:52,017 --> 00:17:53,333Why?

43500:17:53,335 --> 00:17:54,584Is it the message?

43600:17:54,586 --> 00:17:57,253I only used urban slangto sound tough

43700:17:57,255 --> 00:17:59,205so people wouldn't break in.No.

43800:17:59,207 --> 00:18:01,257It's not the message.

43900:18:01,259 --> 00:18:02,658Well, what is it, then?

44000:18:02,660 --> 00:18:04,510I did everythingjust the way you like it.

44100:18:04,512 --> 00:18:07,330You did.Then what the hell, Sheldon?!


34/37

44200:18:08,949 --> 00:18:11,667We have been going outfor over two years,

44300:18:11,669 --> 00:18:14,103and I have been nothingbut patient with you!

44400:18:14,105 --> 00:18:16,139I watch your dopeyspace movies.

44500:18:16,141 --> 00:18:18,308I signed yourridiculous contract.

44600:18:18,310 --> 00:18:20,143I even stopped wearing lip gloss

'cause you said

44700:18:20,145 --> 00:18:22,178it made my mouth looktoo slippery.

44800:18:23,063 --> 00:18:25,181I am the bestgirlfriend

449

00:18:25,183 --> 00:18:26,566you're evergonna have.

45000:18:26,568 --> 00:18:29,569You give me one good reasonwhy I can't live here.

45100:18:30,404 --> 00:18:32,538It's Penny's fault.

45200:18:32,540 --> 00:18:33,957What?

45300:18:33,959 --> 00:18:35,358She doesn't wantto live with Leonard,

454


35/37

00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:36,993so he has to comelive here again.

45500:18:36,995 --> 00:18:38,378She's the snake in our garden.

45600:18:39,630 --> 00:18:42,382She's the reasonwe can't be happy.

45700:18:45,202 --> 00:18:46,252Hey, Ames.Yeah.

45800:18:46,254 --> 00:18:47,553"Hey, Ames," nothing.

45900:18:47,555 --> 00:18:49,722

I was all set to move inwith Sheldon, and now I hear

46000:18:49,724 --> 00:18:51,507I can't 'cause you don't wantto live with Leonard.

46100:18:51,509 --> 00:18:53,376LEONARD:What?

46200:18:54,728 --> 00:18:57,981Sheldon, what did you say?I said the truth.

46300:18:57,983 --> 00:19:00,216You don't want to live withLeonard, and you know it.

46400:19:00,218 --> 00:19:01,589Since when don't you want

to live with me?

46500:19:01,614 --> 00:19:02,719Oh, don't get all huffy.

46600:19:02,720 --> 00:19:04,053You're the one whodecided to move in


36/37

46700:19:04,055 --> 00:19:05,438without even askingme if I was ready.

46800:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,073Yeah, I think we should talkabout that.

46900:19:07,908 --> 00:19:09,742And since you lovethe truth so much,

47000:19:09,744 --> 00:19:12,245why don't you tell Amy youdon't want to live with her

47100:19:12,247 --> 00:19:13,696instead of

blaming it on me?

47200:19:13,698 --> 00:19:16,399I thought we were talkingabout the other thing.

47300:19:17,234 --> 00:19:18,618You're a coward.

47400:19:18,620 --> 00:19:22,255

Well, the evidencedoes support that.

47500:19:23,791 --> 00:19:25,741Come on, Amy,let's go drink wine

47600:19:25,743 --> 00:19:28,211and talk about what jerksour boyfriends are.

47700:19:28,213 --> 00:19:29,679You know what would show them?

47800:19:29,681 --> 00:19:31,547I should move in here with you.

47900:19:34,601 --> 00:19:36,769


37/37

Um...

48000:19:39,106 --> 00:19:41,307(door closes)

48100:19:47,398 --> 00:19:48,698Do you want to...

48200:19:48,700 --> 00:19:50,766catch up on some Walking Dead?

48300:19:50,768 --> 00:19:52,952Okay.

48400:19:54,271 --> 00:19:56,739Have you seen the onewhere Lori dies?

485

00:20:01,845 --> 00:20:03,996No.

48600:20:04,832 --> 00:20:06,282Or maybe she doesn't.

48700:20:06,284 --> 00:20:08,000Let's find out.

48800:20:24,283 --> 00:20:26,418

MRS. WOLOWITZ: Where you going?No!

48900:20:26,420 --> 00:20:31,420== sync, corrected by elderman ==

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The Big Bang Theory - 6x15 - .720p.hdtv.x264-Dimension.hi

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