Issue 25 / Friday / One Dinar Universe Guide

The Disappearanceof Women

The Whale Has Resurfaced

5 Questions with Akram Bodraz

As’ad Bedir Reveals Pattern 365.

Looters Crack the Green Dome OpenRevealing Buried Treasures

By Saleh Serbah, Algiers

The logs floated closer -almost colliding at times- and musicians clumsily prepared as the 50-foot bullet-shaped whale blasted into the sky, blocking the sun's rays for a minute or so, before taking in enough air to dive into the water again.The wait has paid off for the King and his flock, who had gazed upon the horizon for hours, hoping for the annual resurfacing of Al-Khidr's whale.What started out as a small annual gathering of Al-Khidr followers turned into a national holiday, celebrated with the blessing (and attendance) of the king. Page 04 , 05

By Asalah Anas, Baghdad

Retired looting expert Barhoum Badr is excavating the site in hopes of �nding any leftovers from the the looting incident, which occurred yesterday. He also revealed to The Broadcast that the One Thief Gang approached him earlier for assistance in looting the Dome, to which he flat out refused, “It is true that I was once a looter, but as you grow and see the world, your views on life change”, he explained. Page 02 , 03

Page 08Page 07Page 10

Nayzakstud.io

Issue 25 / Friday Current Affairs

Long-Forgotten Treasures BurriedBeneath the Green Dome

The One Thief Gang

By Asalah Anas, Baghdad

Barhoum and his team located a golden gate just in the middle of the cracked dome, of course by the time they arrived, the gate was already open and the treasures were already stolen. "I was surprised the gate was not broken", said Barhoum, "Whoever that One Thief Gang guy is, he knows his onions".Since we all woke up yesterday to the surprise that the green dome was not, in fact, a dome at all, Barhoum has taken the initiative to investigate the incident."There must have been tons of treasures here, these are the largest halls I've ever seen", Barhoum contemplated. It is also worth mentioning that the color of the dome turned from green to blue after the incident, which rendered its name, the Green Dome, meaningless; since it is now neither green nor a dome.

The One Thief gang, which are allegedly responsible, ware unheard of until Barhoum undisclosed their name and other information, which are now available to the public exclusively on The Broadcast.

Little is known about the man behind it all, and how the people, places in his life and his mental state has influenced his decision to oddly name himself the ‘One Thief Gang’. “He only spoke to me once, but that’s all I needed to tell he could have been the greatest man ever lived, if only that was what he wanted”, Barhoum explained.

Moreover, when we asked him why he refused the One Thief gang offer, “It is true that I was once a looter, but as you grow and see the world, your views on life change”, he replied, “besides it would no longer be a One Man gang if I was to join”.

02

Issue 25 / FridayCurrent Affairs

Origin ofThe Dome

The origin of the dome was always a

controversial subject among historians, some

believed it was built by Adad-nirari III during the

Neo-Assyrian dynasty, while others claim that it was surely built far back

into history by the Neanderthals, and Adad-nirari III just

reconstructed it after it was almost worn out by

the toll of time

03

Safwan District

The OneThief Gang

UlbaIsland

* reconstructed isometric shot of the location.

TigrisRiver

The Lakeof FourThe Dome

Issue 25 / Friday 04Current Affairs

THE WHALE HAS BLESSED US!

A CALL TO RENEW OUR FAITH

Issue 25 / Friday

By Saleh Serbah, Algiers

This season the watching crowd has doubled in size, with royal promises of a generous reward to the one who spots the whale first, "Most of these people are in it for the money", said an old man with a disgusted look on his face.The tradition was kept alive by a small group of Al-Khidr followers, but the popularity of the event has increased exponentially since the women disappearance incident, some claim that the women are held captive

there, "I swear I saw my wife and a bunch of other women half naked bathing around the fountain the whale made!", said the layman with a confused mix of excitement and broken grief upon his face.

"I have not missed a single whale watching day since I got circumcised 83 years ago", said another -very- old man sitting in the front row, even though everyone knows he has been naturally blind from birth.

The National Whale Watching Service has also issued updated guidelines this year, since the last year accident, when a very enthusiastic whale-watcher decided to tie himself to a swarm of crows, thinking they would lift him up in the sky for a better view, and ended up being pecked to death.

05 Current Affairs

The King, Accompanied By His Flock, Witnessed the Whale Resurfacing Yesterday

Issue 25 / Friday

By Hamza Serhan, Algiers

Olympics' marathon 4th place finisher Masoud Obied announced that he has cancelled his plans to compete in next year's Madani International Marathon.After months upon months of rumors, this news might finally end all the speculations about whether Obied's life has truly gone downhill or uphill since he started using Oxyana.He was diagnosed with lung cancer earlier this week, but he refuses any sort of treatment, and he still finds a way to get his dose of Oxyana to the ICU."I started enjoying going outdoors ever-since I started using it", Obied commented, "I don't care if it is ruining me from the inside, as long as it's making everything else look beautiful".

[Source: realworld]

Iraqi officials said a series of bombings targeting football fans has struck cafes in and around Baghdad, killing 16 and wounding dozens.On Thursday evening, an explosion near a cafe killed four people and wounded 14. Two blasts in the town of Jbela, south of the capital, wounded three.Elsewhere in Baghdad, separate attacks killed a barber and wounded nine other people.

06

Algerian Runner Masoud Obied Withdraws From Madani Due to Lung Tumors

Bombings target cafes filled with football fans, kills 17

The World Championship Starts Tomorrow, 235 Iraqi Dancers Compete in Jubi Dancing

Sports

JUBILONG

The Championship For Long-Jubi Dance

Issue 25 / Friday

Baghdad Based professional swimmer, father and an ex-husband, Akram Bodraz recently had signed a new contract with

Rainbowbow, a drugs and nutrition supplement manufacturer.

Q. How are you these days, Akram? How long have you been in Baghdad?A. Yeah, just got here yesterday.

Q. Do you have an apartment here or do you stay in a hotel?A.Rainbowbow actually bought me a villa in Baghdad suburbs, I

am here to check it out.

Q. How much time do you plan to spend here?A. I do not know, once I'm done with my business I might

stay for a while, I got an invitation from Barhoum the other day.

Q. If you weren't a swimmer what other profession would you choose?A. A backscratcher, yeah definitely, back-scratching is awesome.

Q. Any places you haven’t been that you’d still like to go? A. Yeah, I heard the Green Dome was cracked just this morning [yesterday morning by the time this is published], I got a call from Barhoum and he told me he'll let me in if I pay... erm, if I pay him a visit.

07

Akram Bodraz: Back-Scratching is Awesome!5 Questions with Akram Bodraz

Sports

Polykethe award winningalt-soccer game

now available on yourax video machinetm tm

Issue 25 / Friday

According to those who had wives once, almost fifteen years ago -in the 10th of March, was the first day they woke up to find themselves alone (with their children, the male ones). The mysterious case of the disappearance of women still, of course, stirs public outcries for help from residents.Renowned Businessman and visionary entrepreneur, Gabeer Haseeb, told us that the contractor manufacturing the new plastic housewife models has promised to increase the production rate, hoping to match supply to the increasing demand.The demand has apparently skyrocketed after the puritans finally made it public on national TVs, that they lost all hope of ever finding a real woman anytime soon."we are doing our best to make the most realistic plastic women ever", said Gabeer, "given the little actual data we have about them, that is".Fifteen years were more than enough to erase almost all of what we know about women, that we had outside of the data that some managed to write down, before the passage of time took its toll on their memories.Back then, when there were women, they were not allowed to appear or even being talked about in public, but now that they're plastic, we find ourselves talking about them all the time; maybe that is one advantage we should embrace.

By Gawad Habeeb

The 21-year-old famous logician Ashraf Baker was found dead today in a trailer park in an apparent suicide; authorities found toxic substances inside his car, the police reported. Officers set up a cordon sealing off the street while firefighters tried to deal with the chemicals, "If you enter an area and it smells like rotten eggs, you better get the hell out as fast as you can", said the patriotic firefighter before entering the restricted area.

08

The Remembrance of Women DisappearanceThe unexplained disappearance of females has left the younger generation devastated

Logician Ashraf Baker Commits Suicide in an Automobile

Miscellaneous

By / Bader Baher

This might be the only surviving photograph of a human female

Issue 25 / Friday

According to those who had wives once, almost fifteen years ago -in the 10th of March, was the first day they woke up to find themselves alone (with their children, the male ones). The mysterious case of the disappearance of women still, of course, stirs public outcries for help from residents.Renowned Businessman and visionary entrepreneur, Gabeer Haseeb, told us that the contractor manufacturing the new plastic housewife models has promised to increase the production rate, hoping to match supply to the increasing demand.The demand has apparently skyrocketed after the puritans finally made it public on national TVs, that they lost all hope of ever finding a real woman anytime soon."we are doing our best to make the most realistic plastic women ever", said Gabeer, "given the little actual data we have about them, that is".Fifteen years were more than enough to erase almost all of what we know about women, that we had outside of the data that some managed to write down, before the passage of time took its toll on their memories.Back then, when there were women, they were not allowed to appear or even being talked about in public, but now that they're plastic, we find ourselves talking about them all the time; maybe that is one advantage we should embrace.

10Art and Literature

Asaad Bedir’s “Pattern 365”Exhibition Is Coming to Algiers!

After years of public anticipation, Asaadfinally unveils hislatest tea bag design

Book Review: Beer in the Video Club

By Barah Rafeeq, AlgiersThe state-of-the-art exhibition, costing 4.2 million dinars and over a year to construct, is finally upon us.“This here is the future of tea bags”, said Mootaz Shamandar, 34, one of Asaad’s fans and the man who oversaw the development of the exhibtion. “Asaad was strongly inspired by his cildhood and his mother’s attitude towards tea shopping”.This exhibtion will be the measure of the growing public interest in the aesthetics of tea bags; the way it looks, and the tactile shivers it sends down the spine.

Your Only Hope for Happinessc e r t i f i e d d r u g

OXYANA

By Bakeer Qassi

Fareed Wali’s first and only published novel “Beer in the Video club”, was just re-issued in a new edition featuring cover art by Masood Al-Ashash.If you’re not familiar with the title or the author’s backstory, I highly recommend you fix this immediately, you’ll be in for one wild ride.Fareed Wali’s excellent novel was first published by Audrey Bosch almost five decades ago, It garnered a lot of attention at the time.Unforunately, not so long after that, the author got too drunk and committed suicide, leaving behind only a tragic drunken-written suicide note.

بــيرة فىنـــــــــادىالفـــيديو

فــــريدوالـــي

Issue 25 / Friday11 Art and Literature

Cairo SymphonyOrchestra in Algiers

Best sellers this month

The widely-known Cairo Symphony Orchestra vists the city next week, or that is what they promised, we can only hope they make it this time.Hosny Shabana, the orchestra’s principal trumpeter, was their last excuse for not performing last week; they told us he broke his calcaneus bone while taking a shower in the airport hotel, “this time it is a valid excuse, we promise”, said the orchestra director.The orchestra, given they were honest, will perform Azhad’s Requiem for the audience. Needless to say no one will dare to buy the tickets until they see, with their own eyes, the orchestra warming up on stage .

1. The Robe by Eyad Douglas - February 8

2. Point of No Returnby Marciel Imam - March 7

3. Bird In the Sky by Van dyck Mason - April 4

LIFEOF WHALE

DIRECTED BYAZIZ LAKHDAR

WRITTEN BYRAOUF BADRA

PRODUCED BYMAGED BOSABOUN

EDITEDD BYZAHRAA ALBADI

POST-PRODUCTIONBAHY STUDIOS

PRODUCTION DESIGNMAKHLOUFA BAGANI

CASTMAYSOUM

SET DESIGNMAGDOUMA

The widely-known Cairo Symphony Orchestra vists the city next week, or that is what they promised, we can only hope they make it this time.Hosny Shabana, the orchestra’s principal trumpeter, was their last excuse for not performing last week; they told us he broke his calcaneus bone while taking a shower in the airport hotel, “this time it is a valid excuse, we promise”, said the orchestra director.The orchestra, given they were honest, will perform Azhad’s Requiem for the audience. Needless to say no one will dare to buy the tickets until they see, with their own eyes, the orchestra warming up on stage .

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