Club

Thu 18th Jan. 2018 Issue: 98

I am declaring victory, 'Veni, vidi, vici', I came, I saw, I conquered!

We pretty much do that every year when we play in the Wollongong Masters

tournament held over the Australia Day long Weekend. This year was no different in the sense that we put in a large contingent of 20 CPC players, in

10 teams of woman's, mixed and men's teams and we all did very well with some exceptional performances.

At the sharp end we congratulate Sebastian and Mark C for kicking down

the 'elite' door with, "Hello honey, I am home" and picking up a well

deserved third place in the 'Principale'. That is a mighty big effort when faced up against some seasoned opposition including Mauritian players who

don't take kindly to new kids on the block! Then our ladies team of Robyn and Heike also punched well above their weight in the ladies 'Principale' by

shaking that tree and watching the ripe plums fall. An exceptional effort and performance by these two ladies. To cap it off our duo of Catherine and

Annette smashed their way into the top order and won the ladies

'Consolante' division, how good is that?

Now let me tell you about the principals of 'blitzkrieg' and Norm and Gary. These two punched holes through the enemy lines with no fanfare

whatsoever but with lightning speed and clinical precision. In a series of deft moves they smashed their opposition and moved on, blitzkrieg style in its

purest form. They finally did get snookered but well up that slippery pole and

all credit to their performances. Norm and Gary showed us how consistent positioning play with the odd attacking counter move wins games. No rocket

science here just plain good Petanque. Watch these two carefully as they

have come of age.

Now let's move on and have a look at the rest of the pack. 'Smitty' and Jim

had a 'love in' of sorts discovering a good combination pact. A good shooter

with a good positioner in a classic combo. They had their sweet victories and a few bloody noses along the way. The same applies for Donna and Ivo, a

few ripe plums fell and a kick in the pants elsewhere. For a brief moment I

felt the old 'Mojo' kick in when we played against a much better Mauritian

combo and came within an ace of toppling them, damn that whistle and 2 more ends. We led at end 1 but they got us on the 2nd end!

The CPC Army and The Battle of Wollongong - 2018

Ladies corner!

Gary and Norm in action, hats are us!

Then came Robbie! 3 sweet victories confirmed and in the bag. Barry tells me Robbie was walking on air! Jean and Judith were always in the thick of it

even with Jean flashing her buttocks to the crowd with a tear in her trackie pants, let's face it folks, when you've got it you got to flaunt it! I am not

sure what Jean and Judith's scalp count was in the end but knowing both ladies it would have been some plus extra.

As for our sparring partners Lois and Richard, Donna and I had the misfortune of running into them 2 times which seems a little unfair.

Misfortune in the sense I would rather do battle with real enemies rather than good mates. I always feel nervous playing against my own tribe, they

know our game as much as we know there's and the outcome is never certain. Lois and Richard had their share of the spoils of war in several

games won, not sure how many!

And let's not forget Prue and Hanan. A learning experience for both of them

and some well fought battles with high scores I hear. No push over's by any means and well done to you both. Do what I did after my first tournament,

come back for more!

Some further observations;

A minutes silence in the introduction and welcome speech I found rather

sobering. Petanque can ill afford to lose any players and I am hoping that with every tree felled in the forest two will replace it, let's hope so!

The weather, 'medium to well done' in the UV stakes, luckily a breeze kept

things respectable. I have visions of my partner (Donna) standing in the pouring rain making her opening shot while all the rest of us ran for shelter,

CPC Petanque women are tough!

Jeans lovely 'Slashed pants incident' will be remembered for a long time! A

borrowed pair of shorts restored our Jeans modesty and she fought on. We love you Jean, you are a true sport!

Lovely meals at the pub, and the 'Mars' bar I won in a bet with Catherine

over the Chung / Federer match. Remember Catherine, half for Omi and the

other half for Sia and proof please!

Thankyou Lois and Richard for your help in packing up that awkward gazebo structure, 'Cooper troopers' as always!

Let's do it all again next year, shall we?

My apologies folks, I have so many fine photos to show you but I can only pick a few at random to place in the 'Boulesheet'. Maybe more will be posted on our 'Facebook' page?

"Well, you see, it went like this..."

Best buddies, Jim and Smitty

Robyn and Heike taking a closer look

The support crew and adoring fans!

When battle is done, time to reflect on shared experiences

FSM First Sunday of the Month event this Sunday coming up - 4th Feb, 2018 - be there...

I set a challenge!

Drones are becoming cheaper, You can buy one for just over $100 fitted with camera

etc. I was seriously looking at buying one pre Christmas, they will only get cheaper with time. The Challenge is to do a flyover with drone + camera over our piste one Sunday

afternoon when play is in full swing, and post the video on our Facebook and Website.

The Smith's had a go at it last year but malfunctioning equipment prevented success. The technology is there, affordable or almost so, and it's just a question of time before it happens. Feel free to take up the challenge and be the first one to do it!

Hobart Petanque stuff;

Allan Barden, used to be our club Secretary many years ago and the fellow who gave us our club constitution (since tweaked

by Jean) sent me this information that some of us might find useful. Some of our club members will be going to Hobart soon to play in the 'Hobart Mixed Doubles' in March this year. The CPC has a good relationship with Hobart Petanque players and

something we want to maintain and foster. Thanks Allan; Allan remains active in Petanque and may visit us later this year. You

are always welcome mate!

Derwent Petanque Sports Club. Our playing fixtures are as follows:

Wed 1pm Piste at Long Point Road, Lower Sandy Bay (near the Sandy Bay Sailing Club)

Sat 2pm Piste at Cadbury Road, Claremont (behind the tennis court) There are two other clubs and I have played with both of these. They play at the Sandy Bay piste at the following times:

Hobart Petanque Club: Mon at 1pm, Thursday at 4pm, Sunday at 2pm (check with Graeme 0427 437 346)

Bayside Boules: Tue at 1pm, Friday at 4pm, Saturday at 1pm (check with Terry Dando 0439 497 958)

Bayside Boules and the Derwent Club are in the PFA. The Hobart Club is not affiliated with the PFA.

Do you know:

1. What happens when a player throws a boule that is not their own?

2. How much time is allowed for a player to throw their boule after his opponent has thrown their boule and any measurement is completed?

3. What happens when a boule is accidentally stopped or deviated by a player to whose team it belongs?

The correct answers are:

1. The player receives a warning and the boule is considered to be valid but it must immediately be replaced by one of the

players boules. In the event of this occurring again during the game, the guilty player's boule is disqualified and anything it

displaced is put back in place.

2. The time allowed is 1 minute.

3. The boule is dead.

Umpires Corner by Jim Alexander

Stay hydrated please! We have had a second incident of heat exhaustion recently and we would like to remind all members to be very careful when

playing this summer or any summer for that matter. As Molly Meldrum used to say, 'Do yourselves a favour', and please keep yourselves tanked up with fluids (preferably water) when playing for lengthy periods of time. When temperatures exceed 30°

+, and you add on a reflective heat component from the gravel and in a still air environment, you are looking at temperatures close to 40 +, and that is danger time for most of us. Sometimes I feel like Lawrence of Arabia crossing the Nefud desert to

attack Aqaba when playing on our patch of gravel, I just hope I can stay on my camel long enough to get through! Anyway, NO water Nazis in our club, just friendly advice, you take care of yourselves please......

Fatso is back again....!

It's always the case, one idiot spoiling it for all the others. The idiot I am referring to

is the 'moron' with a car doing donuts and figure eights on our beloved piste. This

barely human example of the shallow end of the gene pool, decided it would be good

fun to rip up our piste with tyre tracks as part of his entertainment for the afternoon. Fortunately he was spotted and a rego taken. I am not sure if this has been handed

to police yet but I sincerely hope so. This is the second time we have been hit and luckily for us this time the ground was rock hard and therefore damage is minimal.

Minimal, 'Yes', but we have to fix it, once again! I hate to think if the same thing happened on a wet piste, potentially causing damaging deep ruts!

I don't know what possesses people to mindlessly damage someone else property. I

recall many years ago when I was a student at Weston Creek High School, someone damaged my very expensive compass set. I was furious and as the culprit was much

smaller than me so I decided to punch the living shit out of him, which I found to be

very satisfying at the time but got me into big, big trouble later. Still, he never bothered me again and dare I say it, corrected the error of his ways. I digress dear

reader, and I return to political correctness once more, let's hope the perpetrator will

receive some much needed counselling to dissuade him from further acts of

vandalism in the future!

The gate was left open for lengthy periods of time to allow trucks to access and dump gravel next to our piste in a stockpile. This will continue for a period of time as the

gravel will be used to upgrade the 'dog park' parking area and other works within the park. TAMS has been notified of the incident, the truck contractor has been informed

and will be more 'vigilant' in gate management. 'Vigilant', such a lovely word, but

what does it really mean when no one is there and the gate is open and our 'moron' spots a window of opportunity!

I suspect we may have to deal with this sort of thing occasionally, hopefully not too

often. Security is only as good as the people monitoring the gate and controlling who enters and exits, that's what I call vigilance! We do our bit, but do others.....?

A note from our piste Manager; (Mark Cooper)

I gave the piste a rake the other day and fixed the tyre marks as best I could given

the hardness of the piste surface. It really requires a good soaking with rain before

much more can be done. As soon as we have 5-10mm of rain I will give it another go. I ran the w-snipper a run around the piste perimeter and under the bollards. A few people commented on the long grass.

Unwanted visitor.....

It's the little things that matter, and I feel need to be

recognised. Club member Richard is one of a bunch of people in our club that are willing, capable and simply

get things done. It's a valuable human resource to have for a small club like ours and much appreciated.

Our storeroom has now been fitted with mesh screens

over the air vent holes. A small job, 'Sure', fiddly to do, 'Yes', time consuming, 'You bet', but the end result

is no more bug infestation, no more empty beer cans

inserted or cigarette butts pushed through. A cleaner storeroom, 'Yes, of course!'

Next thing, is to beef up security to the storeroom

door by deleting the superfluous padlock and placing a

metal strip between the door and door jamb to prevent

unwanted leverage access. No doubt Richard and others will be involved once again!

Update, Rego and vehicle type handed over to police by

witness and staff member from Miniature railway - Thanks neighbour!

Storeroom Tweaks....

Membership at 53 The club welcomes two new members, Helena and Robert. Both have been introduced by none other than Wendy who has spread the gospel far and wide and is basically a one woman CPC recruiting outfit. Thanks Wendy, you are a legend. Welcome aboard Helena and Robert and many hours of good petanque fun to you both!

Rob's way; There is not much difference between who does the piste

sweeping and the end result. Half an hour tops for me and it looks pretty good I reckon. This is the case for most of us

'Piste Sweepies', till Rob entered the ring!

I don't know much about his technique but rumour tells me it involves headphones and music, plus 1.0 hour sessions. I

reckon I do a pretty good job, as good as others do it, nobody has complained, but I have to confess, 'Robs way' is

the flash way!

When Rob did his piste sweeping duties recently the place looked immaculate, done to perfection. I felt there were

occasions it would have been better to close down the piste

for the afternoon and collectively just look at it and admire

the beauty rather than spoiling it with crude and vulgar

boule tossing! Rob is the 'piste king', the ace of aces, by far.

What music Rob, what would you recommend mate, maybe a bit off 'Pink Floyd', or is it Frank Sinatra's, 'I did it my

way'?

Mark C. is always looking for more potential 'Aces' to keep our beloved piste in tip - top condition. Come on and have a

go and kick Rob off his lofty perch!

Seating;

You could argue that banging on about a

couple of park bench seats is a bit extreme

and even a bit silly Ivo. I disagree, these

park benches are important to us and will fulfil an important role. We have some older

players within our ranks and sitting on log barriers is really not conducive to healthy

comfort. Even younger players find it

uncomfortable after a while sitting on log

barriers. As we are frequent users of the

park and with many other park benches badly sited and barely used at all, it is only

fair we have a few that will be used almost on a daily basis! They will provide not only

comfortable seating for our members but also utilised for placing gear on when the

ground is wet, for visitors to watch us play

and as a gathering point. Well worth banging on about I reckon and well done Robyn and

Seb in securing this valuable asset. Concrete pads poured and ready to go for bolting on 2 new park bench seats. The pads provide grass and weed free space and is easier for mowing around.

Club spirit alive and well; Jean and Bazza are to be congratulated for an on the piste

'epiphany' a week or so ago. I am sure our duo thought it

through beforehand but anyway an 'epiphany' it was. With some clever juggling of teams and players we have gained

one extra team and included two valued members who looked like they were about to miss the Wollongong bus. Jean and

Barry dissolved their team and instead created two new teams by adding Robbie and Judith to make up an all ladies and an

all men's teams. In one stroke of kindness they ticked about a

dozen boxes for which I and I am sure many others are very grateful for on many levels of goodness, kindness and sensible

problem solving. Robbie is as keen as mustard, on the improve and bought a

club shirt specifically for the Wollongong event. If that is not showing intent then I don't know what is! Unfortunately we

could not find a partner for Robbie nor could he find one. I

might add here that it is up to the individual to find a partner for this event, but to allow a valued club member like Robbie

to slip through the net is bad form I reckon and we may need some further discussion at committee level to see if we can

resolve this problem. The same with Judith, a long standing and much loved club member missed out on finding a partner

and went to the trouble of letting Wollongong know that she

needed a spare to make a team with her. No way Judith, you

belong to us, you are too valuable to us to be loaned out to

another club. Judith belongs to the CPC, and the CPC is Judith! Well done Lamberts, your actions have been noted and you

have been mentioned in despatches! It's just one more example that makes our club the special and wonderful club it is! Long may this vibe continue!

Position Vacant;

An Interesting employment opportunity exists for a new Editor of

the 'Boulesheet' newsletter, with an incredible remuneration package, keys to the CPC credenza and Jacuzzi plus travelling

expenses and executive parking thrown in!

At present we have reached the 98th issue of the 'Boulesheet'. I have decided I will go on to the 100th issue and then hopefully

hand the duties over to someone else. I am hoping that all will agree that 100 issues is a fair effort and has been a 9 year

commitment on my behalf (1st issue, May 2009 - see image

attached). Maybe now is the time for someone else to have a go with a fresh outlook, renewed energy and commitment? All you

need is 'Word' and maybe some 'Photoshop' skills and I can give you the header and off you go. There may well be better software

out there to do this kind of stuff, if so use it. My only suggestion to any new editor is keep it light and breezy, be informative, be

all inclusive (most important) and throw in a good dose of

humour whenever possible. The 'Boulesheet' is usually a monthly issue or maybe more if interesting stuff is happening or about to

happen. The editor can decide when to release the next issue.

If interested in the job talk to Ivo or the committee.

First Issue, May 2009, a one page spread, humble beginnings!

Presidents Report

What an absolute delight it was to participate in the annual Wollongong Tournament last weekend.

There were some terrific games and results. Catherine and Annette's win in the Women's

Consolante was a tremendous achievement. Norm and Gary making the Principale in their first

tournament together also a terrific achievement. Mark Cooper and I were also very happy to finish

3rd overall. I think nearly every Canberra team won at least one game over the course of the weekend. Congratulations to all players, particularly those braving their first tournament. I hope

you enjoyed the experience. By the way, in my first tournament, playing in the Australian Triples at Bexley with Ivo and Ahmed, I pointed my first ball and watched it disappear over the out of bounds

line behind the coche. An inauspicious beginning shall we say....

It is no small thing for a club of around 50 people to send almost half its membership to participate in an interstate tournament. I think it bears out how enthusiastic many of us are, not just to play but to play in a competitive way. Social

play remains the backbone of our club and will do. But there is something different and extra offered in these competitions

that means we get to test out what we have learnt, what we know about tactics and strategy, and our skill. It is one thing to play against friends, another against strangers, under rules. There were teams from Newcastle, Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne

and elsewhere. A good test and I think we did more than pass.

I was excited to learn that Wollongong are looking to add a November tournament to their calendar of events and that this

would be something Capital Petanque members could participate in. More details as they come to hand. The terrific people at

Wollongong, the Kerjeans, Ross Selby and Danny among others, are so hospitable and most appreciative of CPC's annual pilgrimage south. They are keen to reciprocate with a visit here again and this is something your Committee will be

discussing soon.

While in Wollongong, I was also approached by the Australian Mauritian Association (AMA) club which is based in Belmore, Sydney. They too are keen to establish some kind of exchange between our two clubs - also for discussion. I think people see

us developing as a club, with a great new piste, and are keen for a closer look. That is great.

New seating is about to be installed near the piste. We have been lobbying for this for some time and really wish to record our thanks to the ACT Government for their continued support of our club and its environs. In autumn you will see new tree

plantings on either side of the piste that will (in time) provide blessed shade.

Lots to look forward to as the weather starts to cool, including the Alexander doubles among other things.

See you on the piste.

Seb