Crusader THE OFFICIAL STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF ARCHBISHOP MOELLER HIGH SCHOOL 9001 MONTGOMERY RD. CINCINNATI OHIO 45242 WWW. MOELLER.ORG

May 2014VOL. 50 NUM. 05 SENIOR ISSUE

the

HOUSINGTrinity House took the Marianist Cup after a wild year. Defending champion Eveslage failed to pull together to win another title. The Crusader games exceeded expectations when Mr. Clayton Graham swept Mr. Jerry DiCristo-foro off his feet, helping Pillar to bump ahead of Zehler. Zaragoza shocked all with victories in mul-tiple events, winning the games but not the Cup.

CONVERTINGMrs. Debi Cass and Mr. Alex Thompson were welcomed into the Catholic Church this past Easter, after affirming their deci-sion in front of the school at the Lenten Mass. Congratulations all around!

SCOUTINGThe Crusader humbly apologizes for failing to recognize freshman Ryan Griffin in our March issue’s article on Moeller Eagle Scouts. Ryan officially became an Eagle Scout on March 4 after designing and then leading the construc-tion of a new bird blind in the East Loveland Nature Preserve.

YEAR-BOOKINGMrs. Britt Raymond will be saying adios to her Spanish classes, but plans on continuing her work on the yearbook. She plans on sticking around to make sure The Templar stays a high-quality publication.

TRANSITIONINGMr. Jim Elfers will be teaching Spanish next year as he transi-tions from his pastoral ministry role to a more traditional class-room teaching position. He will have the unique advantage of having worked at Moeller several years before actually leading classes. We now officially dub him Senor Elfers.

PLAYWRIGHTINGSophomore Isaiah Reaves was recently chosen to have his play “Wyatt’s Bed” produced and per-formed at Cincinnati’s Playhouse in the Park. David Faller ‘13, a freshman at Kenyon College, will be directing the play, which will run from July 10-13.

AWARDINGThe Crusader is pleased to an-nounced it received a first place award from the American Scho-lastic Press Association.

BYE, MANPat McLaughlin bids his

Crusaders farewell | 7

Mr. Hayes tapped for Trinity deanHouse leadership torch passes to English teacher, baseball coach

By Joe PaPPalardo ‘14Crusader Managing Editor

Celebrating 50 years of publication

Mr. Michael Hayes, after finishing his fifth year teaching English - and third at Moeller - has been chosen as Trinity’s new dean.

He revealed his promotion to his mentor group in late April, explain-ing that this meant he couldn’t be their mentor teacher anymore.

Trinity was originally led by Mr. Jim Champlin back in 2005, followed by Mr. Dan Dever in 2011.

“I want to spend more time with my grandkids,” Dever said.

He isn’t switching schools, but will be finding a different job. This was a tough decision because of his love for Moeller.

Mr. Hayes said he plans to continue the Champ Cup competition within Trinity, in memory of Mr. Champlin.

The baseball coach is adding several more items to his list of responsibili-ties. He now has two house competi-tions to oversee, seven mentor groups, and still has to decide between Buffalo Wild Wings and dodge ball on the house days.

Mr. Hayes’ greatest compensation is that he has more free bells to spend time with Jack Toomb while he plans for the competitions. With house cap-

tains Jake Rogan and Nicholas Mendel, the new dean plans to defend Trinity’s championship and continue to honor Mr. Champlin’s legacy.

SENIOR INSERT INSIDEA final look at college-bound

Crusaders | 4

Mr. Hayes stares down his veteran opponents as he assumes the position of Trinity dean.

Surkamp falls short, returns to minor leaguesMoeller graduate just misses making White Sox opening day roster

GAIER RETIRES Wrestling giant says

goodbye to the mat | 7

This spring, Eric Surkamp ’05, a pitch-er for the Chicago White Sox, looked to advance his career by competing for a starting spot in the White Sox pitching rotation.

Surkamp was invited to the White Sox spring training, where he had hoped to compete for a spot in the bullpen, if not in the starting rotation. After making just one appearance in Spring Training in which he pitched six innings and record-ing six strikeouts in a winning effort, Surkamp was sent down to the club’s Triple-A affiliate, the Charlotte Knights. This move ruined his goal of making the Opening Day roster.

Surkamp was signed by the White Sox this offseason after he was placed on waivers by the San Francisco Giants.

By eric Maus ‘14Crusader Sports Editor

Surkamp’s time with the Giants had been productive, but slightly hindered by injuries. He was drafted in the 6th round of the 2008 MLB Amateur Draft as the 177th overall pick, and he began his career in the Giants minor league system upon signing his contract. By the 2011 season, Surkamp made his way to the Giants Triple-A affiliate, and that year he went 10-4 with a 2.02 ERA. His suc-cess that season led to him being called up to the Major Leagues on August 27, 2011.

Surkamp’s most recent opportunity came as no surprise considering his outstanding accomplishments during his college career. He attended NC State, where he had a standout career as a pitcher. While at NC State, he compiled a record of 11-11 with a sub 4.50 ERA. In his college career, he recorded a total of 218 strikeouts compared to only 99

walks allowed.Surkamp’s MLB potential was first

realized during his time at Moeller High School. As a junior, he had an 8-0 record and a 0.43 ERA. He struck out 81 batters, while only allowing a total of only 54 base runners in 48 2/3 innings. That year, he led Moeller to a State Championship, which he started and recorded the win after pitching 5 2/3 innings of no-hit baseball.

Surkamp followed up his stellar junior season by compiling a 10-1 record with a 1.06 ERA. That season he struck out 97 bat-ters and allowed only 53 base runners in a total of 65 2/3 innings of work.

After that season, he was named to the All-Ohio team and recognized as an All-American.

Even though Surkamp did not make the White Sox Opening Day roster, he is likely to join the team sometime during the regular season.

Page 2 OPINION May 2014

Published quarterly, the student newspaper of Archbishop Moeller High School is a public forum, with its student editorial board mak-ing all decisions concerning its contents. Unsigned editorials express the views of the majority of the editorial board. Letters to the editor are welcomed and will be published as space allows. Letters must be signed, although the staff may withhold the name on request. The Crusader reserves the right to edit letters for grammar and clarity, and all letters are subject to laws governing obscenity, libel, privacy, and disruption of the school process, as are all contents of the paper.Opinions in letters are not necessarily those of The Crusader staff or its faculty adviser, nor should any opinion expressed in a public forum be construed as the opinion or policy of the administration of Archbishop Moeller High School.

Crusader

Kyle Zimmerman Editor-in-Chief

Joe Pappalardo Managing Editor

Danny Bruns News Editor

Andy StrotmanOp/Ed Editor

Ben LandSports Editor

Eric MausAsst. Sports Editor

Connor BortonFeatures Editor

Tyler SchumacherEntertainment Editor

Ben RigneyArt & Photography

Mr. Michael RoseFaculty Advisor

Making The GradeMOE-PINIONS

By adam GarBaCik ‘15 By QuinCy Williams ‘14“The red flag of mistrust” No Moe cell phones

Almost everybody has received a detention for having a cell phone out at one point or another, freshmen and seniors alike. Everyone has their phones out during the day even with the rule that they have to be turned off an in your backpack. The only problem is that there is an Eble or a Kindt lurk-ing around every corner. This calls for the student to waste energy watching out for strict teachers, and a Moeller student only has so much expendable energy. After all, winning state championships is exhausting. Cell phones can be very useful, and for that reason there should be no rule against having them out in school.

Cell phones are possibly the greatest multi-purpose tool of our generation. We can play Flappy Bird, tweet about social events, or use Snapchat to show the world the monster sitting in the AC’s bath-room. With all of these incredibly useful features, it makes no sense to not be allowed to have them out.

I can understand where the administration is coming from when they say we aren’t allowed to have cell phones out because we could cheat, but I can honestly say that I have never cheated on an assignment with my phone. If there is the incred-ibly shameful and perplexing event that a student cheats, they are probably going to use the machine that has all of their files and work in the first place. That being said, the cliche “cheating” line that is attached to cell phones doesn’t make much sense at a technology based school such as Moeller.

We are often referred to as “Men of Moeller”. There are many attributes that go along with this title, one of which is honor. If we are going to be called honest truthful “Men of Moeller,” then we should probably be treated like it. Not being able to have a cell phone out raises a red flag of mistrust.

We are given laptops as freshman in high school so that we can get over the distraction of it before we get to “the big show.” I think that we should have this same principle with cell phones. If a student is never allowed to have their phone out in high school, then it is likely they will fail out of col-lege due to an overload of Myspace and AIM.

Sometimes it’s a lot easier to take your phones out of your pocket and use that calculator, rather than having to walk a few miles to get a prehistoric fossil from Miss Nay or have Mr. Wynn charge you a dollar that goes to his “Uganda child.” There is a lot of technology that comes along with cell phones, and Moeller should take advantage of that perk.

Cell phones will be in our lives until the day we die. They are very prominent no matter where you go. We won’t be told that we have to put our phones away when we get a job, so why should we be told that now? We might as well get used to having them in a work environment now.

Using cell phones in school is a sin, and I am a sinner, who is probably going to sin again. De-spite this fact, I unequivocally believe cell phones shouldn’t be used in schools. The use of cell phones doesn’t add anything to the learning experience. Moeller students have enough electronic distrac-tions as it is with our fickle laptops. Yes, we all like to use our cell phones during school, and since most of us, teachers included, are seemingly inex-tricably linked to our phones we don’t look at this as a privilege, but instead as a right. This symbiotic relationship renders disciplining against cell phone use extremely difficult. Further complicating this is the fact that most teachers have a laissez-faire at-titude toward cell phone use in their classes. While some handbook pounding teachers do hand out detentions daily for cell phone use, they aren’t in the majority.

It may seem that I’m being hypocritical; I use my phone during classes every day. However, I rec-ognize the fact that my cell phone doesn’t aid my learning during class. Browsing Twitter or having inane conversations with members of the opposite sex don’t help my Anatomy grade. Furthermore, the crippling cell phone addiction most of us pos-sess is indubitably the reason why cell phone use isn’t punished more harshly. I have found in classes where teachers legislate harshly against cell phone use, astoundingly, cell phones aren’t used! It took five detentions from Mrs. Schaffer last year to learn that I probably shouldn’t pull my phone out in class. These detentions are annoying, obviously, yet if we are ostensibly journeying to Moeller every day to learn, aren’t they appropriate? Ask yourselves, if you weren’t constantly checking your phone for new texts during school wouldn’t you be a more able student?

Teachers combat cell phone use so frequently that disciplining against cell phones may appear to be a Sisyphean task. However, the solution to this problem is simple. Each teacher is given a box which students place their phones in at the begin-ning of the class. While initially this will stoke a furor in the hearts of many Men of Moeller, this will immediately produce positive results. While there are many ways to avoid detection while using your cell phone in class, there is no way to use a phone that isn’t in your possession. Teachers who constantly keep their eyes peeled for infractions would have one less transgression to be vigilant for. Students wouldn’t spend as much time, one, being absorbed in their phones, and two, looking for ways to circumvent teachers who legislate against cel phone use.

Cell phones shouldn’t be used in classrooms; anyone who disputes this and suggests that phones enhance learning should be taken to an insane asylum. While the cell phone collection at the start of class would seem gratuitous when first espoused, eventually it would just become a part of a student’s everyday life, just like eating soggy chicken sand-wiches and going to Corryville Catholic.

The CrusaderArchbishop Moeller

9001 Montgomery Rd.Cincinnati, OH 45242Crusader@moeller.org

A May 15, 2014

Graduation day! After four short years, 220 seniors are

graduating (hopefully).

Senior scholarship pledgesThe highest pledge rate in Moeller history, 208/218 seniors pledged to donate $20 over the next five years. Pledgers received a complimentary doughnut and got on Bro. Ron’s good side.

ShantytownSeniors packed the area outside of the cafeteria and auditorium as they experienced homeless-

ness for two days by living in cardboard homes and

gained 25 last-minute ser-vice hours.

Mr. Wynn’s jousting performance

His borrowed Moeller gym shorts, soiled un-

dershirt, and trademark brown shoes weren’t

enough to propel him over Mr. Crockett in the

Crusader Games.

Senior laptopsThey shut down randomly and the tablet pens only work occasionally. The only thing students learned from these laptops was patience.

Fthe

Mr. Eble is a dad!Eble and his wife welcomed their first daughter, Lily, into the world on Monday, April 9.

Moeller Political Cartoon courtesy of Evan Verrilli ‘14

Beloved Crusader readers, It’s been a helluva run with The Crusader. Along with Mr. Rose, Joe Pappalardo, and the rest of the great crew that comprises the editorial board, I have had a great time covering Moeller over the last two years. I can only think of a few things better than seeing a school share the enjoyment of reading a fresh issue of The Crusader during mentor group. I like to think that we brought due recognition to deserving people, issues, and ideas. While not everyone gets to see the stages of production for the newspaper— researching, interviewing, writing, editing, trimming, photographing, and formatting—I hope you all can ap-preciate all of the work we have invested in The Crusader during B2 in room 335, even if there are still some typos. Hopefully, we’ve left a strong mark and maintained a high standard for Moeller’s student newspaper. In the years coming, let’s continue to make The Crusader the best student publication in the land, and certainly the GCL. Thanks for reading, Kyle Zimmerman Retired Crusader Editor-in-Chief

The Crusader NEWS Page 3

Student complaining is as old as school itself, and has existed at every institute of learning ever to open its doors. However, over the course of the year, it has become increasingly clear that complaints at Moeller often go much deeper than simple student griping. Rather, students have de-veloped a complaint culture that seeps into nearly every aspect of the school day. It can be seen in the way students react to any House activity: almost always with griping, moping about, and bad at-titudes. It can be seen in the way students respond to receiving a poor grade: blaming the teacher in almost every way, lambasting the unfair nature of the assignment, and complaining about the way the material was taught by the teacher. In every class on every day, one is bound to hear some com-plaint or another voiced by a student. The culture of complaining about anything and everything has become woven into the fabric of the everyday life of Moeller students. A perfect example of this can be seen in the aftermath of almost every loss by the football or basketball team. Following a loss, one is nearly guaranteed to hear complaints from Moeller stu-dents about the other team’s fan base being “class-less”, “rude”, and wholly undeserving of the win. Yet at the very game about which these statements are made, Moeller students can be heard making a sundry of statements that can be classified as class-less at best. While cheers that attack other schools for being stupid, poor, or “West Side” are undoubt-edly funny, one would be hard-pressed to classify

them as in any way classy. Complaints about the “unfair” nature of a class are some of the most popular among students. However, when viewed in an objective nature, they are almost always completely baseless. Students will go to their grave with the notion that their most recent math test was over material never even whispered about in the classroom, yet these same students can often be found not taking notes in math class, but reveling in the latest game to make the rounds of the school. The very students who

Students have turned complaints into a replacement for action.

complain about the unfairness of a test are also as likely to have made any effort to work with the teacher to properly prepare for the test as pigs are to fly. Not all complaining is bad, and sometimes com-plaints are warranted. But when a student will choose to complain about an issue rather than re-solve it, there is something wrong. Often, students would rather complain about something or someone for an entire school year than do something as simple as mentioning to a teacher that they have an issue in order to get it resolved. Students have turned com-plaints into a replacement for action, and that is a disturbing and wholly detrimental habit to develop. This is not something that can be changed overnight. But it is something that must be addressed if stu-dents are to develop the skills they need to be suc-cessful in college and beyond.

Ask Schu-Daddy

By Andy StrotmAn‘14Crusader Opinions Editor

Culling Moeller’s culture of complaintTrend towards whining not helpful or healthy for student body, faculty

Schu-Daddy dispenses the last of his prodigious wisdom as he rides off into the proverbial sunset

Q. Is it plagiarism to find quotes on Sparknotes or Shmoop? -unnamed Moeller English class

A. I believe it would be considered a conflict of interest for me to answer your question in such a public fashion.

Q. What is the worst sentence to hear right after waking up? -Nick Wright ‘14

A. “I hear next year’s captain was expelled from Moeller.”

Q. What is the best way to shave my back hair? I am very German.

A. Get a friend to do it. I hear the swim team shaves each other, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Q. Schu—do you condone use of the DM (direct message) as a means to come in contact with girls? -Nick Schlueter ‘14

A. I don’t condone Twitter as a means of doing anything. Its insistence on the use of 140 char-acters or less for each message has contributed to our generation’s inability and unwillingness to read, and possibly explains our readership numbers here at The Crusader.

Q. Who should be the first overall pick in the NFL draft? - Nick Reed ‘14

A. Jadeveon Clowney, but having spent three years at an SEC school, he’ll probably have to take a pay cut to go to the NFL.

Q. If you were elected president of the US what would be your first action in office? -Jack Kun-kel ‘14

A. Introduce myself to the interns.

Q. At prom I lost my foot… Where do you recom-mend I look to find it? –Fritz Josephson ‘14

A. Call Folchi’s and see if you left it in your dress shoe. If it’s not there, look for an email from Mr. Dever as it may have been placed in the lost and found.

Q. If you could unblock one website, which one would you choose? -Joe Pappalardo ‘14

A: It would be nice to have been able to use Google.

Q: Why are there fewer questions in this issue?

A: Let’s be honest here: I’m a second semester senior; I can only handle so much this time around.

Crusaders try, try again for trophy By dAnny BrunS ‘14 Crusader Features Editor

In the fall of 2008, Charlie Blum, Will Blum, and Eric Schlueter brought rugby to Moeller, and since then the program has excelled. The three pioneers of the sport asked their then athletic director Barry Borman to add the sport to the school’s long list of athletics. Borman agreed to start the program as a club with the stipulation that they must find a

faculty member as both the coach and moderator. Although he had no experience in the sport, Mr. Doug Rosfeld agreed when the trio asked him to head the program.

The program eventually turned into a varsity sport two years later with multiple coaches, and in 2010, the rugby team won its first Division I State Championship.

Rugby is a fairly complicated game in which both burly giants and quick, agile runners team up in a grueling hour long power struggle. Rugby teams have fifteen players made up of the pack (the bigger guys) and the backs (typically the smaller and quicker ones). The ball can only be passed backwards and play does not stop once a player is tackled. Instead, both teams try to push each other away from the ball in what is called a ruck. Ad-ditionally, whenever the ball is hit forward by a player’s hands, a scrum is formed in which both team pit eight players against one another to push each other and rake the ball back with their feet in what is known as a scrum. Players can also kick the ball forward to teammates, and drop-kick the ball through the uprights for three points. A try, worth five points, is awarded when a player is able to touch the ball down in the opponents’ end zone. Those are the basic rules for the game.

“I enjoy the physicality and tough-ness of the sport and getting

to know new people.” - Cody Mackey

In order to keep up with the growing competi-tiveness of the game resulting from increases in both state teams and increasing popularity, Coach Rosfeld found an assortment of coaches to help him teach the game. Charlie Blum, a forwards coach, played rugby at Notre Dame. He has sent two sets of twins through the program; Charlie and Will ’09 as well as Andrew and Michael ’11.

Backline coach Steve Visagie then joined the coaching staff and brought with him his knowledge of the sport from South Africa.

Coach Matt Nagel, also known as “Iceman” among the players, is Coach Rosfeld’s cousin who played rugby at the University of Cincinnati.

Forwards coach Tom Kimener, former U.S. Ma-rine and rugby player in Dallas, brought his own unique and tough coaching style to the team when his son, Connor Kimener ’13, joined the team.

Todd Naumann has also been learning the sport as well as helping the team with strength and condi-tioning.

The most recent additions to the coaching staff has been Casey Schnieber who played for the Cincinnati Wolfhounds and now helps the Moeller’s players with running plays and organization. Along with him Dominic DeNoma ‘11has also joined the coach-ing staff.

As of this year, there are 13 teams in Division I, and 46 teams in Division II. Division I includes Moeller, St. Xavier, Westerville, St. Ignatius, St. Edward, Brunswick, Hudson, Strongsville, Avon, St. Ignatius B, Indian Springs, Pickerington, and Tri-Village.

Cody Mackey ‘14, a fourth year player com-mented that, “I enjoy the physicality and toughness of the sport and getting to know new people.” In addition to meeting new teammates, players usu-ally share a meal with the opposing team after each game in an attempt to build a brotherhood among all players.

Although the team has made it to the state cham-pionship for the past four years, it has lost the last three years. Moeller is revamping its game plan with the hopes of bringing home another trophy.

Moeller rugby set for another fantastic season

SENIOR DESTINATIONS May 2014Page 4

The following senior destinations were compiled by Guidance Department and are current as of April 22, 2014. Some seniors were not included because of this.

There is a dot on the map in the place of every university that a Moeller student from the class of 2014 will be attending next fall.

University of CincinnatiAsbrock, ConnorBachman, DrewBailey, AlexBaldwin, BradenBeitman, JaredBetz, TrevorBrokamp, TJBurwinkel, KyleCollier, ChaseCrable, ChadEades, WillFernback, NickGeraci, NickGilles, WillGlassmeyer, BrandonGordon, SamHahn, SkyHeekin, WillHeldman, BrianHimes, TylerHoltmeier, SamHugenberg, MattIttenbach, WillJaspers, JoeyJett, AlexJohnson, KyleJung, GabeKadon, ChrisKanu, IanKuchik, ConnorKuhn, AlexMarton, CollinMechley, RobbyMeyer, JaredNaber, BobbyOrkwis, JacobPlatz, TonyPohlman, RobbyRaymer, JackRoll, JasonRyan, WillSchaefer, JoshSmith, IanSmith, KyleThornberry, GerryVerrilli, EvanVoss, NickWalsh, MattWeeks, AlexWerner, ZachWheat, Patrick/ChandlerZimmerman, Kyle

University of Dayton Allgaier, JonBarlow, BrodyBonn, ZachBoyle, MattBruns, DannyDeeds, ErikGriffith, RossHeeter, EvanHoderlein, MaxwellJansing, ZachKunkel, JackLacey, MarkLand, BenMalone, LoganMiller, DanMorrison, KevinRinderle, BillyRose, CodySchlueter, NickSheets, SamWebb, AaronWilkinson, Mika’el

Ohio State University Allen, NateCalangi, LoganGentile, MitchHubbard, SamMulvaney, BrendanNymberg, GregSaylor, DrewSchriml, NickSusich, CarsonWesley, Austin

Miami University Abeln, DannyCarmichael, AndrewCeccoli, DomenicFarlow, BrendanHawkins, Tre’Iuni, ConnorLampert, MitchLoxterkamp, WillMaus, EricMcCreary, PaulMercurio, WillMorrow, AustinMorrow, NolanPaz, ZacRagland, GusReed, NickSchumacher, TylerStanula, Alexten Brink, Ethan

Ohio University Barbara, JakeBarron, PaulBowling, KyleBradfish, AndrewBruggemann, SamFrueauf, ChalmerGerbus, JustinLangenkamp, StephenSimmons, JoeySizemore, DakotaWilliams, QuincyZapanta, Collin

Xavier University Cleves, PhilCottrell, BrandonCox, RyanGodbey, GrantShannon, MattWilliams, IanWilson, Donovan

University of KentuckyEdgar, BostonGreve, JeffreyHaunert, CharlesLogue, ZachariahMackey, CodyMahan, RileyPartin, GregSaylor, DrewSchwab, SeanShannon, Matt

Adrian CollegeArmour, AlexArt Academy of CincinnatiMartin, McAnthonyBellarmine UniversityKunkel, EddieBenedictine CollegeMurray, AidanBowling Green State UniversityShimrock, Timmy; Wever, Shane; Bryant, PhilButler UniversityShade, Kole; Smith, KyleCapital UniversityLudwig, JoeyCincinnati StateAustin BargerCollege of Mount Saint JosephSwoboda, Max; Popplewell, Brad; Tallarigo, JohnathanColumbia College ChicagoDickens, JohnDePaul UniversityMaertz, ReedDePauw UniversityGruber, JackEastern Kentucky UniversityPleatman, AlecElon UniversityAnton, JackEmory UniversityGigax, Adam

Highpoint UniversityFranklin, Mark; Gustafson, NatHillsdale CollegePappalardo, JoeIndiana UniversityBoyle, TonyJohn Carroll UniversityBraun, Will; Rice, Collin; Cole ProiaKent State UniversityGirard, ErichKenyon CollegeJosephson, Fritz; Myers, HenryMarquette UniversityZimmermann, AndrewMilwaukee Institute of Art & DesignHandel, ZachNorthern Illinois UniversityRosser, QuintonNorthern Kentucky UniversityDorward, Liam; Jabs, Aidan; Plageman, NickOhio Northern UniversityStorer, TJOtterbein UniversityBirrer, PatrickPennsylvania Gunsmith SchoolSnyder, StevenProvidence CollegeAsgian, ChrisPratt Institute of Art Adarve, Norwin Purdue UniversityHanna, Paul Robert Morris UniversitySturgis, DavidRutgers UniversityPieper, CoreySeton Hill UniversityBarone, BrendonSyracuse Stars Hockey Tempel, BrianTaylor UniversityLamping, MitchTexas A&M UniversityShaffer, MichaelUnited States Air Force AcademyBohenek, Austin; Rumsey, PrestonUnited States Marine CorpsSchwartz, Gus; Thompson, Shane; Wallace, Joe; Fischer, SteveUnited States NavySmallwood, WillUniversity of AlabamaKincaid, Kellis; Strotman, AndyUniversity of ChicagoRieger, JamieUniversity of Colorado-BoulderKing, Brendan; Cooke, Geno University of Detroit MercyCook, AndrewUniversity of KansasCoghlin, MichaelUniversity of MississippiChennell, IanUniversity of MinnesotaIsaiah Gentry University of Oregon Wick, DavisUniversity of South CarolinaChennell, Will; Rodgers, John; Worobetz, ToryUniversity of ToledoHoffman, Aaron; Meyer, EddieUniversity of Waterloo (Canada)Mark Bugada (Valedictorian)West Virginia UniversityMangiaracina, Nick; McCluskey, AlexWheaton CollegeMorton, StuartWheeling Jesuit UniversityMeyer, DeanWittenberg UniversityGoldstein, JustinWofford CollegeJacon-Duffy, JaredWright State UniversityBenzinger, Grant; Stacey, Trey; Wilkinson, Michael

Senior Top Ten

Nick Schlueter

Nick was the President of the National Honor Society, Captain of Zehler, and a National Merit Final-ist. He also led the K-85 Kairos. The 2014 House Basketball Champion played linebacker next to Sam Hubbard in 5th grade. Nick is tak-ing his talents to the university of Dayton next year, studying mechanical engineering.

tyler Schumacher

The soon-to-be Salutatorian attended all fresh-man mixers, even as an upperclassman. He intends to keep continue this habit after gradu-ation. He was also a member of the academic team and The Crusader. He went on mission trips to Peru and Over the Rhine. Schu-Daddy is headed to miami university.

Zach lOgue

Zach is attending university of kentucky after receiving the Kentucky Heritage Scholarship along with a baseball scholarship. Besides his four year baseball career, he also played hockey for two years. He was a teammate of Zack Shannon.

evaN verrilli

“I like rainbows and long walks on the beach. A nice glass of chardon-nay as I watch the sunset over the Pacific. I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket.” Evan plans to at-tend the university of cincinnati’s prestigious DAAP, where he’ll major industrial design.

mark BugaDa

Mark came into Moeller his sophomore year after living in Delaware for most of his life. The three-year varsity soccer player plans to con-tinue his career at the university of Waterloo in Canada, his birthplace, where he will study kinesiology. He’s also the Valedictorian.

paul haNNa

After playing soccer at Moeller for four years, Paul plans to attend purdue where he will study engineering. Besides being an honors student, his largest claim to fame is when he shattered the back window of the O’Connor center with a high shot-on-goal.

heNry myerS

After being cut from the basket-ball team, Henry played varsity soccer for three consecutive years. He was Zaragoza’s chaplain and also served as the rector for a Kairos retreat this year. He plans to attend kenyon college after re-ceiving the Distinguished Scholar Scholarship.

NeStOr WOrOBetZ

Tory has qualified to swim in five National Cham-pionships and is a State Finalist. He was named an All-American in 2013. He holds the record for 200 Freestyle Relay. Tory has been a competitive swimmer since the age of five. He will be attend-ing the university of South carolina next year and will study biomedical engineering.

michael Shaffer

Often confused with Moeller’s psychology teacher, Michael moved to Cincinnati from Texas before attend-ing Moeller as a freshman. The Zaragoza House Captain speaks fluent Spanish, and played football for four years at Moeller. After getting a taste of Spain, he has decided to head back to the southwest to texas a&m.

DaNiel BruNS

Danny is going to the university of Dayton and majoring in exercise physi-ology, and will be in the Marianist Lead-ers Scholarship program for community service. He played rugby for four years at Moeller, was on the Executive Board for two, and was Captain of Quiroga. He’s looking forward to visiting Italy, Spain, Chicago, Tennessee, and Colorado this summer. He wrote for The Crusader.

CLASS of 2014

5 6

1

2

3

7

4

8

9 10

These class rankings were predicted by THE CRuSADER editorial board and may not be accurate with the official class ranking system.

The Crusader SPECIAL FEATURE Page 5

service to others make the prescribed requirement worth it.

Most often cited, in no particular order:• Abetterconnectionwithpeers.• AdeeperunderstandingofGodworkingin

their lives.• Anappreciationforlife,namelyrelatioships,

foodandhealthsecurity,andasafeplace to live.

• Abroadenedworldview.• Adesiretofightagainstinjustices.• Ajoyfulheartuponseeingthejoythattheir

servicebroughttoothers.• Andawholelotmore.Of the approximate 32,160 hours that exist from

AugustofFreshmanYeartoMayofSeniorYear,wefeelthatcompleting60hoursinservicetoothersisnotaburdensomeamount,especiallyinlightofthe positive outcomes for both the student and the personbeingserved.

Crusaderreaders,Iaskyoutothinkaboutthoseinyourlifewhohavegiventoyou,whohaveservedyou,whohaveselflesslyputthemselvesoutthereforyou.Givethanksforthemandthegiftthattheyare.Youcouldbethatgifttosomeoneelse.BeitthestudentatCorryvillewhosefacelightsupatseeinghisBigBuddy,ortheelderlypersonwhoistouchedthatayoungpersonwantstospendtimewiththem,orthelow-incomefamilywhonowhasa safe, clean, and affordable home to live in because of the hard work of the Men of Moeller.

CometalktousinPastoralMinistryandwe’llgetyoustarted.

Page 6 OPINION May 2014

An Elfersian rebuttal: Community service vital

InresponsetothearticlewrittenbyQuincyWil-liams’14entitled“ServiceHoursorIndenturedServitude,”IthinkmorehighlyofMoellerstudentsthanthetoneofthearticleindicates.InmysevenyearsasPastoralMinister,theMenofMoellerhaveshownthemselvestobeselflessindividualswhoarewillingtogivetootherswithkindandcharitablehearts. Often the requirement of service becomes a mereformalityasMoellerstudentsgoaboveandbeyondtherequisitenumberofhours.

IhavenodoubtthatMr.Williamsspeaksthetruth when he refers to some students who con-stantlygrumbleoverbeingrequiredtodoserviceforothers,thoughIwouldquestionthesizeofthispopulation.ForthosedisgruntledstudentsIrecom-mendsomeseriousself-reflectionaboutwhattypeofmantheywanttobe,andwhattypeofmantheyarebecoming.

AManofMoellerisnotaManofSelf.It’snosurprisethatthepastthreeschoolcaptains,KyleZimmerman‘14,HarryWahl‘13,andBrianMark-graf‘12,alongwithNickWright’15,areallstudentswhoexemplifyselflessservantleadershipbygivingbacktotheircommunity.Let’snotforgetthattheyweren’tputinthesepositionsbytheadministration;theywereelectedintothesepositionsbytheirpeers

who value their model of leadership.InPastoralMinistrywetakeveryseriouslyour

roleinhelpingformboysintomen.ThisjourneyintobecomingaManofMoellerisn’talwaysan“IdowhatIwant”experience.Sometimesboysneedtobepushedintoexperiencestheyotherwisemightnotnormallydo.

Forsomepeople,analtruisticnatureisinher-ent.Givingisasnaturalasbreathing.Forothers,altruismisalearnedtrait.Withoutarequirementtogetinvolved,theyneverwould.Andthelearningoutcomes that we see in students who participate in

By Mr. JiM ElfErs Director of Pastoral Ministry and Liturgies

We want the right to Nerf!

intErviEwEd By danny Bruns ‘14 Crusader News Editor

Moe Student Q&A-National Merit Finalists Kellis Kincaid ’14 & Nick Schlueter ‘14

ByBEn land ‘14 Crusader Staff Writer

MadnessinvolvinghundredsofhighschoolstudentstentativelywalkingthestreetstottingNerfgunsandfacesfullofrage.Thefourthquarterrollsaroundforallareahighschoolsandstudentsbegintohavealittlefunastheywrapuptheirrespectiveschoolyear.Thelatestcrazethathasbeensweepingthecityistheideaof“NerfWars.”Studentsassem-bleateamoffourorfivefriendswiththestrictgoalofbeingthelastonestanding.Therearenobound-aries;youcanbesnipedonschoolgrounds,aswellasoff.Ironically,theonlyprotectionyouhaveisstrippingdowntoeitheryourunderwearoryourbirthdaysuit(contingentonschoolrules)toavoiddeathviafoamysuctioncuppedbullets.Seeingyoungadultscarryingnerfgunsdesignedforages6-10reallymademewonderwhyinmyfouryearsofhighschoolI’veneverengagedincom-bat.Moellercanopenituptoallgrades,chargingateam$10toenter.Thiswouldbekillingtwobirdswithonestonebyallowingstudentstoengageinsomethingthey’vealwayswantedtodoaswellasraisingmoneyforschoolfundslikeU4U.Conduct-ingaNerf“War”wouldbedrasticallycontradictingtheinterdisciplinarymottoof“peace”seenthrough-outMoellerthisyearanditwouldgoagainstwhatMr.Tullhastaughtmewiththe2ndamendment,butnonethelessshouldstillbestarted.I’mnotcondoningtheideaofseeingMenofMoellerintheir underwear but all costs will be taken to save a brothers life. NerfWarswouldraisethemoraleofstudentswhoarejusttryingtogetthroughthedogdaysofthe4thquarter.Studentswouldpayattentionintheirclassesmoreknowingthatatanymomenttheirlivecouldbetaken.ThepositivesoutweighthenegativeswhendiscussingNerfWars,allittakesisone student to propose the idea to the administra-tion,whowantstobeaMoellerHighSchoollegendandapossibleWarhero?

Mr. Jim Elfers rebuts Quincy Williams’ claim about importance of service to others

“Of the approximate 32,160 hours that exist from August of Freshman Year to

May of Senior Year, we feel that complet-ing 60 hours in service to others is not a

burdensome amount...” - Mr. Elfers

Q: What is the most difficult question you plan to solve?

Nick:Tonotreallyanswerthequestion,solvingquestionsistoomainstreamforme;I’mmoreofaphilosophicalthinker.However,ifIhadtoansweronequestion,Iwouldprobablyanswer“Yali’sBigQuestion.”

Kellis:Worldhunger.

Q: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?Nick: AtthatpointIwillbe27,sobythenmaybeClubPenguinwilldismissmylifetimebanandallowmetocontinuesayinginappropriatethingswithoutgettingcaughtthistime.Kellis:Hopefullywithanicehigh-payingengi-neeringjobsomewhereoutWest,ormaybeinEurope.

Q: Why are you so smart?Nick:LikeIsaid,Iamaphilosophicalthinker;I think the appropriate question here would be: “Whyaren’tyouassmartasme?Kellis: Iattributemostofittoperfectgenes.

Q: Best Moeller memory?Nick: B3LatinwithMagisterComptonKellis: It’shardtosay,honestly.Maybetomfool-eryatCrossCountrypractice,ortradingjibeswith Mr. Eble in the halls.

SeniorsKellisKincaidandNickSchlueterwerebothNationalMeritFinalists.Inotherwords,theyarereallysmart.Theseyoungmentooktimeoutfromsolvingloftymysteriestoanswerafewques-tions for thE CrusadEr.

Q: Where do you want your bust to be at Moeller?Nick:Imustadmit,Ithinkstatuesarecreepy.Butifyouinsistonsculptingme,I’dlikeitdi-agonallyacrossthefieldfromGerryFaustsoitlookslikewerecomingateachother,implyingaconsensualphysicalconfrontationat,oraround,the50yardline.Kellis:Preferablytheweightroom,butnexttothe Crusader out front would be acceptable as well. On a taller podium, of course.

Q: What is the best part of leaving high school? Nick:Notwaiting14minutestogetoutofour parkingloteveryday. Kellis: IneverhavetotakeanotherEnglishclass.

Q: Will you miss your mom at college? Nick: Ofcourse.Shefeedsme.

Kellis: Yeah,shemakesthebestfood.It’llbenothingbutRamenandCheesyMacincollege.

Q: Best senior gift idea? Nick:Signedpicturesofmyself,foreveryone

Kellis: AnewTVandsurroundsoundforBohne’sroom.Nick Schlueter

Kellis Kincaid

Mr. Elfers is in his tenth year as director of Pastoral Ministry

The Crusader FEATURES Page 7

As students walked into the main lobby late last year, they were greeted with a poster depicting a shining and futuristic new Activity Center to be built.

Unfortunately, that poster has failed to appear this year. The administration is planning an abun-dance of changes which will bring Moeller out of the 1960’s era. They have employed Mr. Braun to pull all-nighters every weekend in order to keep construction costs low and bring the school into the modern age and beyond.

Perhaps the most glaring of all underwhelming features to be enhanced is the AC. It is just a really big musky garage with some worn out batting cages and a small band room.

The new plans for renovation include the com-plete demolition of both the batting cages and the band room in order to free that area so it can be

By Danny Bruns ‘14Crusader News Editor

Outdated Moeller facility seeks make overModern renovations for Moeller campus in store for future

added to the floor space. The floor will be replaced not only

with turf, but a smooth new basketball court. Underneath, they will reveal an enormous pool that will help the swim team finally win state.

Additionally, a second floor will be added onto the AC which will include four bowling lanes, eight batting cages and a new band room twice the size of the current one in order to accommodate the projected eighty-five percent growth of the band over the next five years. Of course, the administration has not forgot-ten those who do not participate in any sports and instead choose to be in clubs. The third floor of the AC will serve as the new airsoft battleground wherein the world’s future Call of Duty war heroes will battle it out. In a sizeable portion set off in one of the corners, Mr. Braun will make a gigantic chess board which strongly resembles the one in Harry

Potter. Players will be able to move giant pieces in order to get a more solid look at what is happening on the ground.

Although the AC will add a third turf field, three is not enough for our school leaders. A giant field surrounded by a twenty-five foot net will span the tops of both the main building and the AC. This way, there will be enough room for the spring sports teams to all practice any time they want to.

Underwhelming feature number two, the parking lot, will be heavily modified so that there will finally be enough space for students to park at school and not a day’s walk away. An underground parking garage will be added underneath the existing one. This will allow Mr. Kremer precious hours each year that he wastes away by explaining why there are not enough parking passes to go around. Addi-tionally, a drop-off and pick-up lane will be added to the new lot to allow moms to get their kids. This stream-lining feature will help uphold each stu-dent’s constitutional right to escape the parking lot before 2:55 pm.

Underwhelming feature number three, the main building, will also have new additions and replace-ments. The water fountains from the 1960’s will finally be able to do their jobs of hydrating students once the nozzles are replaced and linked to enor-mous cans of Arnold Palmer. Furthermore, the urinals in the restrooms will be replaced with urine targeting games. No person should have to quit gaming just because nature calls. Now they can go to the restrooms and continue spending their money for school wisely. Unfortunately, this feature may be monitored by DyKnow, but only half the teachers use that anyway so the games will still be available

most of the time. Thankfully, Mr. Braun will also personally install

six fans and three heaters per classroom since a new air conditioner for the building would be pushing the budget. In order to keep track of all these new additions, Mr. Kremer will strategically place two-hundred cameras around campus which can not only make out the color of each individual’s eye, but can also shine a laser wherever it is watching, even if that happens to be your eye.

Yes, these renovations will cost a great deal of money, but the brain trust of Moeller has come up with an ingenious way to pay for it. Instead of giving raffle money and Main Event earnings to students in need, that money will go to the construc-tion. The students who would have received that money will be employed as indentured servants to help Mr. Braun on the various projects. Although the seniors now will not be able to enjoy the new buildings, they will be able to come back in future years and marvel at the amazing architectural feat that is Moeller High School.

Drawings of AC’s new rennovations

The third floor of the AC will serve as the new airsoft battleground wherein

the world’s future Call of Duty war heroes will battle it out

Legendary wrestling coach retiresBy Connor Borton ‘15Crusader Features Editor

After eight years as a member of Moeller’s faculty, Mr. Pat McLaughlin ‘96 is leaving. In March, he accepted the position as head foot-ball coach at Reading High School for next season.

According to a tweet by the superintendent of Reading schools, McLaughlin was approved by a vote of 5-0 by the Reading Public Schools board. McLaughlin says the coaching job offers him a position as a social studies teacher at Reading.

The Blue Devils play in the Cincinnati Hills League (CHL) and face competition from Deer Park, Madeira, and Indian Hill among others. Reading finished 5-5 last season.

McLaughlin says he already has 60 players signed up for the team next year. He is leading workouts four days per week after school for two hours.

“Right now our focus is just getting better every day,” said McLaughlin. “But ultimately, whether or not we make the playoffs is going to be how we judge ourselves.”

His oldest son Patrick Thomas is showing signs of Gus Ragland-esque brilliance. “PT” is a stellar athlete for his age, which Pat Sr. attributes to his son’s upbringing on the back fields and in the batting cages, but the father isn’t sure where his kids will end up for high school.

“Boy, that’s a long way off,” said McLaugh-lin, “I don’t know where my boys will go. They will go to school and play football wherever I’m at. I can guarantee that my daughter Nora won’t come to Moeller.”

His departure will leave an opening in the social studies department. His student-teacher from Mount Saint Joseph, Mr. Islamovsky, is a likely candidate.

“I’ve had a great run here, man,” said Pat. “Hopefully I’m remembered for having worked hard and given my best to Moeller every day. And maybe, just maybe, I’ve had an impact on a few kids in my eight years here.”

Pat McLaughlin: ‘I’m outta here, man’Jeff Gaier decides to end coaching chapter, remain at Moeller

“My impact on individuals over the years has always been a pleasure and

watching them grow into the men they are today is a blessing.” - Coach Gaier

Moeller athletics has seen some legendary coaches walk through the doors, but none like head wrestling coach and IT Director, Jeff Gaier.

Now adjusting into retirement from his wres-tling career, Gaier will continue to work within the building with the IT department. He is considered a veteran after nearly three and a half decades of dedicated service to men of Moeller and the wres-tling community.

Gaier began his coaching career at Moeller in the 1983. Through perseverance and sheer will, Gaier built up the program that went from the basement to the top of the GCL meanwhile making its way through national rankings.

sible school after high school is the number one goal.” Winning tournaments and matches is important to

Coach Gaier but not nearly as important as his wres-tlers. Whether they continue to wrestle or not, Gaier was most interested in getting them down the path to success.

“My impact on individuals over the years has always been a pleasure and watching them grow into the men they are today is a blessing,” said Gaier. “I will continue to mold the young men and watch them grow over the next several years.”

Gaier had three state runner-up teams at Moeller including 2000, 2001 and 2007. His teams had 15 state top-10 team finishes.

Throughout the 1990s, Gaier set the bar in South-west Ohio. Since 1993, Moeller has won every GCL title except in 2002 to arch rival St. Xavier. He took the Moeller program to a level that many coaches can only aspire of.

It’s the honest, sincere care that Coach Gaier brought to the table that made the Moeller wrestling team one of the best in Ohio. His program provided a path for many wrestlers to continue their educa-tion beyond the doors at Moeller.

“In the end it all comes down to education and the experience kids receive when attending Moeller,” said Gaier. “Getting kids into the best pos-

Mr. Gaier has been coaching at Moeller for the last 30 years

By Kyle Zimmerman ‘14Crusader Editor-in-Chief

Page 8 May 2014

Bespectacled (and unbespectacled) students hunched over computers with intense, unflinching gaz-es directed at their screens. No, you are not at MIT or a job interview for prospective Microsoft programmers, you’re at Moeller High School on a wintry, nominally spring afternoon. You also aren’t watching obsessive compulsive students studying for some stress-inducing examination; you’re watching the Spartan-like train-ing that is compulsory to live up to the tradition of the

fabled Moeller gamer. This isn’t a task for the weak of heart, nor mind. The diversionary tactics necessary to hone this absolutely imperative skill are expansive. It truly is an art form. Seeing a fellow student elude a de-tention by a lithe movement of the mouse is one of the most satisfying examples of performance art I can think of. Does this behavior distract from truly important tasks? Indubitably, however, there are more important things than learning vital information at school.

Affording a generation of computer-savvy techni-cians with laptops was bound to have positive effects. No matter how computer-savvy these technicians are, however, all computers will eventually break down. And when this machine that has become indispensable to the student breaks down there will be a further im-pediment to the student’s attention span. A tedious trip to the Help Desk will remove the student from class and for extended periods of time.

Some people still believe the laptop program still

Games a detriment to students and teachers

ENTERTAINMENT

adds depth and cutting-edge modernism to our school. While sitting in a B-1 Anatomy class be-hind a student who has played Pokémon Ruby Edition all year, I had an appalling epiphany: The laptop program might be a disservice to Moeller students!

Every student with half a brain in their heads knows how to operate flash drives, which abound at Moeller, and these flash drives usu-ally contain a bevy of games. These games are maddeningly mediocre, however, when faced

with paying attention in a B-3 Tull Modern Presidency class or playing Bike Mania 2, I’ll usually choose the latter.

I’ve personally witnessed school-oriented men devolve into relentless gamers who will do anything to play one more round of a hopelessly pixelated Bloon’s Tower of Defense 3. Gaming, especially in the fourth quarter for seniors, is the biggest epidemic since the untreatable addic-tions to Big Texas pastries.

The answer to this veritable laundry list of problems is elementary. We should eliminate laptops. The only people who like laptops are freshmen, and let us all be honest, we really don’t like them that much anyway. By the time you’re a senior at Moeller, your machine is a glo-rified typewriter. Get rid of laptops and you will have happier, more attentive students and teach-ers who don’t have to compete with a machine they can’t beat.

Steve Langenkamp ‘14 Jared Meyer ‘14 Mitch Lampert‘14 Eric Maus ‘14 Dom Ceccoli ‘14 Justin Goldstein ‘14 Max Swoboda ‘14Who is your Moeller role

model? Pat McLaughlin Russ Pinkerton Kelvin Conlon D-Wills Brian Compton Dan “The Man” Ragland

Coach Rodenberg

Most terrifying moment at Moeller?

Watching D-Wills eat lunch

Having an accident at rugby practice

When the whole class found out my lunch

account numberHearing Kindt sing Getting my first CK

NowMeeting Mr. Minnick Watching Brad

Popplewell liftOne word to sum up your

Moeller career? Smashing! Big-Texas- cinnamon-roll Skinny Whammy Saucy State Protein

Alternate senior quote Where the Gogurts? I really am Mr. Incredible Don’t tell Schmindy

With sideburns like these, who wouldn’t?

“Helllllooooo!”- Mrs. Doubtfire

I said, “No thanks, but that’s a real nice ski

mask!”Thx son

What does your future hold?

Old Sperrys and Ab-Soul

Saturday evening mass and Zebra

CakesA 26-inch waist size Cocoa butter and

Lean PocketsUpholding

Marianist idealsA 1988 Buick LeSabre Sleepless nights at

Mount St. Joe

Jon Tallarigo ‘14

Doug Rosfeld

Benedetti yelling at me for not doing homework

K

Puedo ir al bano

Ben Rigney provides a preview of this summer’s coming attractions.

Godzilla

X-Men: Days of Future Past

22 Jump Street

Teachers and students alike are rendered helpless in the face of laptops

A chinstrap and homemade deer

jerky

summer blockbusters

MOE Culture Funny Seniors

I tuned this one out until I saw the second trailer featuring amazing effects and Bryan Cranston’s acting prowess. I am sufficiently stoked for the bad-ass Godzilla Reboot.

Ever since I read the concept (using time travel connecting every X-Men movie to date) about a year ago, I knew this cross over X-Men sequel/prequel would be epic. Not to mention the trailer was potentially one of the best trailers I have ever seen.

I am not the biggest Marvel person so after hearing about the not as cool Avengers movie coming in August, I thought little of it. But after the zany and hilarious trailer I am very excited for this upcoming Marvel epic.

21 Jump Street was a gem, funny and great. This one looks like too much like the first. The franchise is reminding me of the Hangover trilogy--a great and unique first movie and the same formula copied over to the sequel. I am cautiously waiting for this comedy.

@bigrig27Ben Rigney

@bigrig27Ben Rigney

@bigrig27Ben Rigney

From the franchise that continues to wow and amaze: Starting off with the science fiction clas-sic from 1968 and the amazing reboot in 2011, this sequel looks amazing. From the CG apes to the grand concepts, I am highly anticipating this blockbuster sequel.

By Quincy Williams‘14Crusader Rant Artist

Guardians of the Galaxy

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

@bigrig27Ben Rigney

@bigrig27Ben Rigney

Mr. Pinkerton watches in disdain as one of his former CP2 chemistry students plays 2048 during class