Staples Garden Centre, Fordfield Rd, Millbrook, MK45 2HZ Telephone 01525 402959 Workshops & Clubs available - please come in for details We stock card making supplies, decoupage, water colour supplies and much more! DMC Silks, Jewellery, beads and findings. Stockists of wool - Robin, Bretts, Peter Pan & Wendy. WOOL NOW IN JOIN OUR CRAFT CLUB 10% Discount on all purchases. Free tea/coffee voucher for restaurant. Monthly newsletter £12.00 per year Your local specialist in UPVC for:- Windows, Doors, Patio Doors and French Doors, Conservatories Fascia, Soffit and Guttering Our windows and doors are 70mm internally glazed for security. All windows are fitted with fire hinges, locking handles, a twin action espagnolette mushroom headed bolt system, and with vent facility. Doors are fitted with claw and mortice lock, and panels are reinforced. Fully compliant with current FENSA Regulations, plus insurance backed guarantee. ARAGON WINDOWS ARAGON WINDOWS CHRIS FREEMAN Tel/Fax 01525 403992 50 Russell Drive Ampthill Beds Established in 1990 and built on reputation WHITEHARTAMPTHILL.CO.UK Check out our newly revised and updated website! Tel: 01525 406863 Christmas bookings now being taken for the Thai Restaurant (Tel: 406863) DROVERS ARMS.EU Take away delivery service Sunday to Thursday BOOK NOW FOR CHRISTMAS Add fun and excitement to your event! Great for Charity events, Club fund raisers, Weddings, Themed Parties, and Gentlemen’s evenings. BLACKJACK, ROULETTE & POKER Telephone Kerry 077831 09848 Book now for Christmas! D & G SHORT NEED A LOCKSMITH? Please turn to our ad on page 16 Plus - All aspects of home security C&R PEST MANAGEMENT x 40 Yrs experience x Fully Insured x Special Rates for OAPS! Wasps, Rats, Mice, Rabbits, Moles, etc Free Estimate 01525 288207 07500 431131 FIXED PRICE AERIAL INSTALLATIONS See our ad on page 24 Hi everybody and as always a huge welcome to your bumper October Fuddler! We hope that you will enjoy this issue - you’ll find lots of fun and nonsense inside plus lots of useful local information together with, of course, those all important messages from our advertisers showing you once more that ‘Whatever you are looking for - you’ll find it in The Fuddler’! If you decide that you would like to advertise with us all our contact details are on page four of this issue. Have fun with the edition and we’ll see you again soon!
Workshops & Clubs available - please come in for details We stock card making supplies, decoupage, water colour supplies and much more! DMC Silks, Jewellery, beads and findings. Stockists of wool - Robin, Bretts, Peter Pan & Wendy. WOOL
NOW IN
JOIN OUR CRAFT CLUB10% Discount on all purchases.
Free tea/coffee voucher for restaurant. Monthly newsletter
£12.00 per year
Your local specialist in UPVC for:- Windows, Doors, Patio Doors and
French Doors, Conservatories Fascia, Soffit and Guttering
Our windows and doors are 70mm internally glazed for security. All windows are fitted with fire hinges, locking handles, a twin action espagnolette mushroom headed bolt system, and with vent facility. Doors are fitted with claw and mortice lock, and panels are reinforced. Fully compliant with current FENSA Regulations, plus insurance backed guarantee.
ARAGON WINDOWSARAGON WINDOWS
CHRIS FREEMAN Tel/Fax 01525 403992
50 Russell Drive Ampthill Beds Established in 1990 and built on reputation
WH
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Chr
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Tel:
4068
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serv
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Sun
day
to T
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BO
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to your event!Great for Charity events,
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Telephone Kerry 077831 09848
Book now for Christmas! D & G SHORT
NEED A LOCKSMITH?
Please turn to our ad
on page 16
Plus - All aspects of
home security
C&R PEST MANAGEMENT
40 Yrs experience Fully Insured Special Rates for OAPS!
Wasps, Rats, Mice, Rabbits, Moles, etc
Free Estimate01525 288207
07500 431131
FIXED PRICE AERIAL
INSTALLATIONS
See our ad on page 24
Hi everybody and as always a huge welcome to your bumper October Fuddler!We hope that you will enjoy this issue - you’ll find lots of fun and nonsense inside plus lots of useful local information together with, of course, those all important messages from
our advertisers showing you once more that ‘Whatever you are looking for - you’ll find it in The Fuddler’!If you decide that you would like to advertise with us all our contact details are on page four of this issue. Have fun with the edition and we’ll see you again soon!
Page 2
Our Home in Es GrauOur Home in Es GrauOur Home in Es Grau
Prices from £495
Our holiday home in Es Grau, Menorca is available torent for the 2010/11 season, the home is situated in anidyllic position with lovely views over the bay and beach
The village of Es Grau is situated 6 kilometers north ofthe capital, Mahon and is approached through the beautiful low hillsof the area, the village is mainly occupied by Menorcan’s whichensures a different atmosphere from the normal holiday locations.There are good facilities which include a shop, bars and restaurantsand the swimming within the bay is very safe. Included in the cost is aToyota 7 seater car and the use of our dinghy to explore the bay
PLEASE VISIT OUR WEB SITE WHICH WILLPROVIDE ALL THE INFORMATION YOU REQUIRE
www.ourhomeinesgrau.co.ukTele: 01525 718729 e mail [email protected]
33, RUSSELL DRIVE AMPTHILL
With Autumn just round the corner, isn’t it time you considered replacing those doors and windows? Or maybe a new conservatory to enjoy. Don’t compromise on style - call into our showroom and see our stunning range of doors and windows including “The Composite Door”.
No window or glazing job too small.
Page 3
NEWS from AMPTHILL INNER WHEEL
On 16th October 2010 the Inner Wheel Club of Ampthill & District is holding a Fashion Show with “Smarty’s” at Maulden Village Hall. The clothing is ex-chainstore and reasonably priced. Entrance including tea/coffee and biscuits is £6.00 per person. This will commence at 7.30pm and tickets are available from Debbie Bushman on 01525 406126. This is a fundraiser for Inner Wheel and local charities and is open to anyone. We would welcome any support from old friends and hopefully, new ones.
There is to be a charity ball on Saturday October 30th at Eversholt Village Hall in aid of the charity ‘Have a Heart’. Tickets cost £50.00 each which includes a champagne reception on arrival, three course dinner and dancing to DJ Matt King and The Hurricanes. The evening will also include a raffle, tombola and auction of promises . The event is black tie, so dress to impress! Guests should arrive for 7pm to be seated for 7.30pm. For more information and to book tickets please contact Sarah Molloy on 07900 984561 or Maggie Higton on 07900 218209, you can also email them at [email protected]
The Ampthill Singers Present
A Touch of Class Personal choices of some of the best all time tunes
At Ampthill Methodist Church November 12th & 13th from 7.30 pm
Tickets £5.00 (Concession £4.00) Family (2+2 £15.00 Tickets available from 07092 984667 (box office)
Or from shops in Ampthill & Flitwick Supporting Starlight Children’s Foundation & Alzheimer’s Society (UK)
Saturday 30th October is your chance to take part in an exciting quiz night at Maulden Village Hall. Organise by the Maulden Players the event is at 7.30 for a prompt 8 pm start! The maximum number per team is 6 and the cost is £8.00 per person to include a fish supper. There will also be a raffle on the night and you are invited to bring your own drinks. Please call Hazel Titmuss (by 15th October ) to register your team on 01525 631964 or 07966 192830 (Apologies that the phone number was incorrect last month!)
DAB HAND LAWN CARE The lawn expert, giving you a lawn to be proud of
Feeding \ Weeding Repairing \ Laying
Seeding and Mowing The Complete Service
Tel: 01525 713540 07710 501008
‘We really do make the difference’
Millbrook Village Hall
Available for hire Bright, modern, well equipped hall
Easy access & car park
First class venue for Meetings, corporate events and training days Club nights, socials, fund raisers and quizzes Family celebrations, weddings & christenings Exercise classes and children’s parties ...
For details and charges contact 01525 404221
Sharman LawS O L I C I T O R SIncorporating Sharman & Trethewy
The Solicitors who care for you,your family and your business
“The Fuddler” i s pub l i she d by MDA Publications and printed by Fidelity Print Solutions. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publisher. No part of this publication may be copied in any form or by any means without written permission of the Publisher. Copyright MDA Publications. Like to book an ad, or ask about our absurdly low rates please ring Martin on
day and asked him if he did this new airbrushing thing that everyone is talking about.
He said he did but that I didn’t have enough hair so it wouldn’t
be worth it.
LORD DEE’S PONDERINGS
I have advised Check-It-Out and Duster that I am now the self appointed watchdog crusading around the Parish ensuring that a gin and tonic is poured in the correct fashion. Three cubes of ice in a tumbler together with a slice of lemon, over which should be poured the gin. Add tonic to taste. Just like Nanny taught me.
Ciao
Visit our showroom. Over 70 modern andtraditional fireplaces and stoves on display.
1, Woburn Street, Ampthill, Beds
Tel: 01525 841199www.ampthillfireplaces.co.uk
Mon - Fri: 10am - 5pm Sat: 10am - 4pm
NOW IN STOCK
Vast selection of
FiresideAccessories
and Gifts
Emergency call outs for entry Call outs 6.00 am - midnight Replacement locks, doors and windows fitted Fast reliable and friendly service provided
Samples brought to your home Free estimates Over 20 years experience INDIVIDUAL & PROFESSIONAL
Page 5
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12 13 14
15 16
17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28
29 30
31 32
Thanks again Marjorie for sending us another cracker!
Percolate
P
T
L
R
A E
EO
C
This has nothing to do with the crossword, but Sandra is still looking up words in her big book (dictionary?). See whether or not the word jumps put at you. (Answer at the bottom of the page if it doesn’t!)
Across: 1 Cherish (5) 4 Land measurements (5) 10 Crash (7) 11 Able (5) 12 Fold (5) 13 Slake (5) 15 Water jug (5) 17 Twenty Sl. (5) 19 Type of apple (5) 22 Orderly (4) 25 Benefaction (7) 27 Root part (5) 29 Fixing pins (5) 30 Plunge (7) 31 Pier (5) 32 Musical composition (5)
Fully Qualified Apprentice Served Established 28 years Experts in all aspects Quality Guaranteed Public Liability Insured Reliable Professional Service Interior & Exterior FREE ESTIMATES
Tel: 01525 280176 Mob: 07759 240 414
Page 7
EventDay, 3pm - 5pmPlace Description
1st Aug Harmony15th Aug Bedford Town Band22th Aug Vine Street Six Jazz Band5th Sep Saint Albans City Band
EventDay, 3pm - 5pmPlace Description
xxxxx
Leighton Buzzard Festival SingersSat 6 Nov, 7:30pmSt. Barnabas Church, LinsladeMagnifi cat, Motets and a MassMusic by Haydn, Bach and Stamford.Tickets £10 and £8(cons). Available from Room 9 and Selections Hardware, High Street, Leighton Buzzard
Proud to be members of Our Local Business Network Group
Onsite Logo Service At these prices it’s easy to look the Professional that You are!
Front Chest Logo from £3Back Logos from £3.50
(95% of work is this price)NO SET UP FEES FOR SIMPLE TEXT & LOGOS
Winter ClothingDESIGNED FOR WORK
A Swedish Saying.....“ There is no such thing as BAD weather..! Only BAD clothing!”
Rugged & Tough Work Grade Kit
Winter Thick Fleeces From £18
Polo Shirts Premium £8 Premium Plus £12
Sweat Shirts From £15
Hooded Tops From £20 T Shirts From £6
Variety of Colour Options to Complete that Uniform Look
Uniforms & Professional Kit
DESIGNED FOR YOU TO WORK WITH YOU!
Jobman Workwear3 Point Guarantee
1: ZIPS 2:SEAMS
3: NO SHRINKING
Uniforms & Professional Kit
Women’s Work wear Now in Stock
Tops, Trousers, Boots & Shoes
NOW STOCKING HARKILA
In addition to SEELANDCome & See the
Seeland New Littman Range and the New
Harkila Clothing & Boots
NEW RANGE OF COUNTRY WELLINGTONS JUST ARRIVING
Rugge d & ToughHockliffe LU7 9LS. 01525 211488Mon-Fri 9am-6pm, Sat 9am - 5pm, Sun 10.30am - 4.30pmwww.lbconnect.co.uk
Barbers open Tuesday & Friday
Page 8
On March 4th 2009Lionheart started his finalcrusade. It was notplanned but pre destinedby Him with powers farg r e a t e r t h a nman. Lionheart knew itwould be a long crusadewith no guarantees that itcould be won. However,he did manage to win afew skirmishes along theway but finally on 21stSeptember 2010 it was alltoo much and he laid
down his sword andshield as he lost thebattle.He fought every step ofthe way with such valourand courage; he nevercomplained and thewords why me? andit s not fair were neverpart of his conversations.Never lost his sense ofhumour and it was onlyin the last few weeksthat his unique andendearing laugh was
silenced. He leaves agreat gap in the lives ofus all... not least toMeerkat but how can aman with such anenormous yet gentlepersonality ever reallyleave us?... NEVER, hewill always be with us insome way or another.Meerkat has been sowarmed and comfortedby the kindness of somany friends at this timeand she quite simply saysa heartfelt.....THANK YOU. xx’
‘Don’t fink I like spiders - fink I’m frit of them!’
With Hayley - D.I.
WHO’S GOT THE HANGING BASKETS??
We’ll find out, you know!
The Cottage Bakery is proud to launch its new Coffee Shop facilities.
The Coffee Shop, in our Church Street Ampthill branch, has been completely re-furbished and is definitely worth a try…
New menu plus all the original favourites served in all new surroundings.
On presentation of this advertisement you will be entitled to taste one of our hot drinks from our new Bean to Cup facility for free…..
Give us a try……
16 Church Street, Ampthill www.thecottagebakery.co.uk
01525 405278
Ampthill
TH E
JOB OPPORTUNITY In sales and customer service (9 month contract)
Have you had a previous career in sales, marketing, design or print? If so, this could be the job for you!
Are you a multi-talented individual? Do you want a local job with fantastic flexible hours
that fits in around childcare and school hours? For more details visit www.fidelityprint.co.uk/jobs
PORTABLE APPLIANCE TESTING
For further information regarding PAT testing and a
competitive quote Steve Sinfield07736 303741
Page 9
also at: 4 Archway Parade, Marsh Road, Luton Tel: 01582 492197 118 London Road, St Albans Tel: 01727 844408
113 Dunstable Street, Ampthill Tel: 01525 404406FOR MORE INFORMATION EITHER POP IN OR CALL US ON
www.bennettsflooring.co.ukThe biggest independent flooring retailer in Bedfordshire and Hertfordshire
OPENING TIMES:Monday to Saturday 9am - 5.30pm
TE
ER
TS
EL
BA
TS
NU
D
WAITROSE
& Solid Woods
Carpets Vinyl
AmticoQuickstep Laminate
EngineeredSisal Seagrass
12Karndeans 12 brand new
designs to see in store
Bennetts can still fit any flooring before christmas
Twists available from
£5.99 per metre
Woodsavailable from
£19.99 per metre
WoolLoops available from
£9.99 per metre
OUR NEW MANAGER Gary McCarthy Would like to
welcome you to Bennetts Ampthill
Page 10
LOOK WHO’S 18 on the 19th OCTOBER!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET PEA,
with all our love Mum, Dad, Dan, Hayley, Jack,
and Ampthill
By Julio Van Peebles 1) Does anyone own something 'Made in Australia'? 2) Has there ever been an unhappy sandboy? 3) What happened to 'Aztec bars'? 4) Has anyone ever been overtaken by a Skoda? 5) Why do dogs walk around in circles before they lie down? Julio’s Top tip: Never try to rush anything as this may mean you might have to gain it a do, TCH! Never try to rush anything as this may mean you might have to do it again !!
With Jimmy The Voice This month JTV has been busy building this work of art for us to study ...
... But we are not sure whether this is a possibility! We’ve tried to replicate it but to no avail!! What do you reckon?
Wishing the crazy American, Auntie Denture AKA Jen, a happy birthday for the 5th and also a huge welcome to Ampthill, may it be a long stay xxx KT,
Justin, Roo, Mum#2 & hounds and hubby + rest of the gang.
AT HOME OR WORK Full and part valets, Hand washed and polished
Seats and carpets cleaned Call Nigel on 01525 261485
Farm Animals, shire horses, Tractors & Machinery, Meet the farmer, Hog Roast, Country Walks, FREE Tastings
Pumpkin Cutting Competition Bring your cut pumpkins by 10.00am on Saturday 30th October to be displayed in our farm shop and judged at 12.00pm Saturday. Categories: 0 - 10 years & 11 - 16 years. Prizes include £20 to go to the child’s school, plus a prize for the
entrant. Entries will cost £1 with all proceeds going to Haynes Village Lower School. Pumpkins on sale for 2 weeks prior to judging.
Plus all our usual farm shop goodies!!!
West End Farm, London Lane, Haynes West EndMK45 3RA (Left off A6 towards Bedford)
Tel: 01234 740300 www.woburncountryfoods.com
Page 11
Babs was trying to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems because the car had done 340,000 miles. She discussed her problem with a friend who suggested ‘I have a friend who may be able to turn the clock back and if you say I sent you he’ll get you sorted. It’s not entirely legal though.’ ‘Doesn’t matter’ said Babs ‘I need to sell the car.’ Thus Babs went to see the mechanic.About a month later Babs bumped into her friend who said ‘Did you sell your car?’ ‘No! Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it.’ replied Babs sensibly.
Beauty takes practice. - Having a dull hairstyle is like putting an olive on top of a chocolate sundae. It makes your whole appearance unappetizing. My friend’s husband is so silly he built a wooden barbeque. Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless moments of self control. Small print is custom designed to produce frustration. To avoid this get someone else to read it for you - and then explain it. If you want to help people suffering from information overload simply do not tell them anything. Sorry I’m late for work, I was ready but my inner child refused to get dressed. If you feel you are self-obsessed take a self help course to confirm your belief. Decisions can be wrong. Prevarication always gives you a decent get out clause. What is the use of being a fashion plate if all you are going to put on it is peas? In motoring, high speed means high tyre costs. 1 Roy Rogers, 2 Jamaica Inn by
Daphne Du Maurier, 3 Kentucky, 4 1565, 5 Breed of sheep, 6 Ferrets, 7 Katy Hill, 8 Forgetting things, 9 Snake, 10 Halloween
1. By what name is Leonard Franklin Slye better known?
2. ‘It was a cold grey day in late November’ is the opening line from which book?
3. In which US state is there a town called ‘Lovely’?
4. When was the pencil invented? 5. What is a ‘Tuj’? 6. ‘Fesnyng’ is the collective term
for which creature? 7. Who presented Blue Peter from
1995-2000? 8. I f y o u s u f f e r e d f r o m
‘Athazagoraphobia’’ of what would you be frightened?
9. What is a ‘Boomslang’? 10.By what name is the old
festival of ‘Samhain’ better known?
MAKING A PIE FOR THE PIE FESTIVAL?
We have everything you need for a truly
spectacular pie filling!
Back Neck Shoulder
Other muscle & joint pain
Tel: 01525 405759
The clinic is in Ampthill town centre, and you are most welcome to contact me for further advice about
osteopathy, and whether it could help you.
www.osteo-pathway.co.uk
1 Kings Arms Yard (off Church St)
Ampthill MK45 2PJ
OSTEOPATH Help for painful musculoskeletal conditions
Fidelity. Unit 24 Station Rd Ind Est. Ampthill. Bedfordshire. MK45 2QY
Did you know we do...
Colour & Black Printing
Stationery
Newsletters
Menus
Tent cards
Brochures
Flyers
Catalogues
Folders
Booklets
Training Manuals
Company Reports
Greeting Cards
Calendars
Labels
Stickers
NCR Pads
Tear/waterproof Manuals
Banners
Posters
Foamex panels
Roller Banners
Exhibition Stands
CD/DVD Duplication
Packaging
Personalisation
Direct Marketing
Photocopying
FidelityChoose a ready-made design for your business and customise it using our simple online design tool.
InstantQuotesGet an Instant Print Quote, upload your artwork or use our online design tool to create your design.
Page 12
CANCER (June 22-July 23) Sometimes it may be better to accept a situation with good grace rather than try to alter it. Who knows? It could be beneficial for you after all.
LEO (July 24-August 23) As always, if you are expected to make a decision with far reaching consequences, be sure that you trust the person giving the advice.
VIRGO (Aug 24-Sept 23) It will not be long before a significant change could occur which may involve you in travel plans that you had not previously considered.
LIBRA (Sept 24-Oct 23) The ebb and flow of the lunar tides may be affecting your love life at this time. Never be afraid to wear your heart on your sleeve.
SCORPIO (Oct 24-Nov 22) The recent full moon indicates that you may have pushed things a little too far on the domestic front. No worries - things will soon be fine.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov 23-Dec 22) Career prospects could be changing with an unexpected offer coming out of the blue. Make sure to trust your gut instinct before changing.
CAPRICORN (Dec 23-Jan 20) As we lightly canter into autumn, take care to put the reins on what might seem like a great idea. Think it through very carefully.
AQUARIUS (Jan 21-Feb 19) Don’t be too concerned if things are not quite right for you just now. By the early part of next month you will see all worries fly out of the window.
PISCES (Feb 20-March 20) There is always a tendency for you to go for the easy option. Look carefully at the situation from a different perspective.
ARIES (March 21-April 20) Your recent buoyant mood should continue over the next few weeks, with new projects coming on board and different ideas to explore.
TAURUS (April 21-May 21) If you have the tendency to ignore advice from those around you, it could be a good time to reconsider and pay heed to sensible words.
GEMINI (May 22-June 21) Ah! Could there be love in the air for Geminis? You could well be heading for a roller coaster time of carefree fun and excitement.
SKIP and HELEN welcome you to the
OSSORY ARMS 9 Arthur Street, Ampthill 01525 841508
www.ossoryarms.co.uk
FOOD SERVED DAILY12.00 - 2.30 pm
BREAKFAST SERVED 10.30 - 2.30 Friday, Saturday
& Sunday
QUIZ NIGHTEvery Thursday
8.30 pm - 5 rounds + Jackpot round
POOL TABLE All sporting events shown
WI FI
Page 13
In support of Midshires Search and Rescue. (Reg Charity No: 1110825)
To be held at Shefford Community Hall on Saturday 30th October. Doors open at 7.30 with the quiz stating at 7.45. Teams of up to 8 - £6.00 per person (Including buffet). No bar but tea and coffee available. To book your space please contact Elaine on 07778 455422 or Margaret on 01525 750013
Friday 5th November sees the spectacular Ampthill Firework Display! Held at Ampthill Park in Woburn Street, the display is organised by Ampthill & District Lions (in co-operation with Ampthill Town Council and Bedfordshire Police) and promises to be a glorious family event. The gates open at 5.30 pm with the display scheduled to commence at 7.30 pm. Hot food and drinks will be available plus a children’s fun fair and ‘glow in the dark’ novelties. There will be plenty of free parking at Ampthill Rugby Club and also at Queensmans Football Club. Tickets cost £6.00 for adults, £4.00 for children under 12 or a family ticket at £12.00. (2 Adults and 2 children.) Advance tickets are available from Cheesemans Chemist in Church Street Ampthill & Box of Delights, Flitwick. Proceeds from the event will go to support Lions local and International community projects and Ampthill Town Mayor’s charities. More details at www.amptilllions.btik.com
Saturday 23 October 2010 We hold all the equipment you will need to ensure your successful entry into the pie contest – pie dishes, pie funnels, pastry
blenders, pastry brushes!
VACHERIN DUE IN NEXT MONTH!! If you’ve tried Vacherin cheese before then
you’ll understand why we’re all getting excited about it being available again very soon! If
you haven’t, then do pop in to sample some!
HOMEMADE PRESERVES? Jam, chutneys and sloe gin?!
We have jars and bottles galore in stock including jam pans, muslin, labels, jam funnels, thermometers, wax discs etc
Open 7 days a week Mon - Sat 9.00 - 17.30 + Sun 11.00 -17.00!
4b Bedford Street, Ampthill Tel: 01525 402023
Page 14
Happy 4th birthday to Heather Roo,lots of love Mummy, Pa Justin and Charlie xxx
Halloween will soon be here, The time for children all to fear. Ghosts and goblins, witches too
All come out on this night for you. So come to martins don’t delay
They have Halloween items on display, From masks , costumes, hats, face paints to name a but a few,
To help make Halloween a great night for you. And if you’re going trick and treating
We even sell things to put your sweets in. But if you’re a grown up staying at home,
Don’t forget you need some treats because the children will only moan.
We also have a new range of products for only a pound That witches and goblins come to buy from all around.
So if your out in the town, And see an old lady in a black gown,
Be nice to her as you should do, Because she might put a spell on you.
I would also like to remind all the children out there, To come Martins and you will find the new match attax cards
on display there. For more details on our spooky offers, call in to see us at
Open Monday - Thursday 11 am - 2 pm & 5 pm - 11 pm
OPEN ALL DAY FRIDAY, SATURDAY & SUNDAY!
CHOICE OF REAL ALES
with a regular guest ale
WATCH ALL LIVE SPORTS EVENTS IN HD
ON UK SKY SPORTS / ESPN
Great value Quality Food
served Monday to Friday
12.00 - 2.00
We take care of EVERYTHING WE WILL DESIGN
AND INSTALL YOURBATHROOM,OLD SUITES
DISPOSED OF -
ALL WORK FULLY GUARANTEED BEAUTIFUL RANGE OF TOP NAME
SUITES & SHOWERS
PLUMBING ELECTRICS
CARPENTRY TILING
FLOORING DECORATING
Page 15
Fairies n Frogs
Children’s Gifts and Toys
NOW AT (RUSSELL PRESS)
DUNSTABLE STREET AMPTHILL
Pocket Money Toys & Games Traditional Wooden Toys
Books and Gifts Dressing Up, Beatrix Potter & Flower Fairies
Plus Lots more For those last minute party presents
Children’s Gifts from Birth to 9 yrs
Tel: 01525 840271
www.fairiesnfrogs.co.uk
See us on Facebook Fairies n frogs Childrens Shop
Page 16
...........Just Purrrfect After feeling a bit out of sorts for a while last month, I am happy to report that everything is back to normal. The nice quiet lady is away quite a lot but I get lots of attention when she comes back, and the large hairy one does a fine job of looking after me in her absence. The French lady did get to clear my habitat up but in a way it turned out for the best. If you remember I was getting quite bothered by the apples falling on my head whilst I was snoozing. Well, I was forced into finding a new sanctuary away from the tree and have found an ideal spot that is perfect for a good sleep and a l s o t o c a t c h a n y trespassers, whether it be feline, rodent or whatever. The garden is great and in two parts, with the French
lady’s area more untamed a n d w i t h g r e a t e r opportunities for hiding away unnoticed. The other area, officially my own garden I suppose, Is arranged on four terraces and it is great fun charging down trying to leap from one to the other, this attracts puzzled looks from the humans who think I’m going a bit potty, but it is that I’m just having fun really.So all in all everything is good and I’m really e n j o y i n g m y n e w surroundings and I think I have settled in quite well now. I often wonder how my old owners are getting on and what they are up to, I hope they are doing OK and think of me sometimes. Well that’s it from me I’m off now for a little sleep, with one eye open though..........just in case! O
ALL PLUMBING WORK UNDERTAKEN BATHROOM INSTALLATION / REPAIR CENTRAL HEATING INSTALLATION / REPAIR POWER FLUSHING GUTTERINGBLOCKED DRAINS
One of our readers has been good enough to forward more of these very clever gems to us! In A Dry Cleaner's Window: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of. In A Health Food Shop Window: Closed due to illness. In a Laundromat: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out. Highway sign: Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable. In a Texas Divorce Attorney's Office: “Remember the Alimo-ny.” Maternity Clothes Shop: We are open on Labor Day. Mathematics Professor’s House: “AFTER MATH” Psychic's Hotline: “Don't call us, we'll call you.” Golf Pro Shop: “Members will refrain from picking up lost balls until they have stopped rolling.” Scuba Diving Store: “We carry a complete line of under ware.” Search & Rescue Office: “Support your local rescue squad. Get lost.” Sign spotted on the back window of a small car being pulled by a motor home: "I go where I'm towed." Toy Store: “There’s no gift like the present.” Tree Surgeon: “We go out on a limb for you.” Body and Fender Shop: “We come wreck-a-mended” Towing Company: “Call us at any hour. We’re always on our tows.” Wonderful stuff again! Many thanks indeed and if you have any more please do send them in.
THE PRINCE OF WALES 24 Bedford Street Ampthill MK45 2NB Tel: 01525 840504Fax: 01525 840574
Christmas Party Dinner Menu
Roast Butternut Squash and Smoked Garlic Soup finished with Chilli Pesto
Deep Fried Breaded Brie and Camembert Wedges with Redcurrant Jelly
Chicken, Smoked Bacon and Asparagus Terrine With Orange and Apricot Marmalade
Grilled Mackerel Fillet with Beetroot Salad and Horseradish Mayonnaise
Chorizo, Tomato, Mozzarella and Olive Tian with Sundried Tomato and Basil Oil
****** Traditional Roast Turkey
With Pigs in Blankets and a Tarragon, Lemon and Shallot Stuffing
Steak, Woodland Mushroom and Brandy Stroganoff with Wild Rice
Baked Pork Loin with a Leek, Bacon and Cranberry Stuffing,
Finished with a Caramelised Red Onion and Sherry Jus
Roasted Lamb Shoulder Fillet With a Aubergine, Beef Tomato and Cous Cous Gateau with a
Cream, Rosemary and Garlic Sauce
Pan Baked Sea Bass Fillets on Wilted Spinach Served with Tiger Prawns, Dill, Spring Onion and Avocado Oil
Roasted Vegetable and Halloumi Timbale With a Rich Plum Tomato, Rosemary and Red Wine Compote
****** Christmas Pudding with Brandy Sauce
Dark Chocolate Torte
Orange and Gran Marnier Posset
Treacle and Brazil Nut Tart with Custard
Vanilla Cheese Cake with Whiskey Infused Raspberry Compote
Selection of English and Continental Cheese with Biscuits
****** Coffee and Mince Pies
****** 3 Course Dinner Menu Including Coffee £28.00
To Book Your Table Call The Prince of Wales on 01525 840504
We can cater for parties of up to 50 covers to sit down with this menu.
Fully QualifiedFully Insured10 years Salon Experience
Saturday 23rd October sees the 6th annual Ampthill Pie Festival in aid of Charity! Held at The Queens Head public house in Woburn Street Ampthill, this year’s event hopes to raise funds for Macmillan Cancer Care. In past years this closely fought contest has attracted entries from all over the place including Toddington, Flitwick, Ampthill and the surrounding villages. Pies arrive at the pub from around 11.00 am and then the serious judging takes place at 1.00 pm.
Once judging is finished customers are invited (for a donation to charity) to go ahead and taste the pies! Richard, new landlord of The Queens, and his team are on hand to oversee the whole event and there will undoubtedly be a series of entertainments on the day! So, if you feel inspired to enter a pie, or indeed just want to go along and enjoy an unusual day you will see more details in The Queens ad on page 20 of this issue. A fun day to raise money for charity!
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Rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters, birds, rats & ferrets are welcome in our home!
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Page 19
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We are delighted to bring you this unusual recipe that one of our readers has sent to us: Derived from an Oyster po’ boy sandwich recipe, this seems a more practical version. The fragrant, delicate and frothy egg/scallop “omelette” makes a fantastic companion to the crunchy bacon, lettuce and spicy mayo. Scallops and bacon are a marriage made in heaven. This is truly the King of sandwiches, and takes minutes to make. Wear a bib! Bacon and Scallop po’ boyFeeds 2 1 Ciabatta loaf 2-3 shallots Generous dollop of mayo Tabasco 2-3 tomatoes Lettuce6 - 8 r a s h e r s c r i s p -cooked bacon (smoked or not to taste) - prob streaky best. 1 large egg Flour
3-4 scallops. Chop shallots finely. Add to mayo & season with a dash or two of Tabasco, s & p. Halve and split Ciabatta leaving a hinge. Spread seasoned mayo both sides. Add layer of sliced tomato. “ layer crispy bacon “ layer crisp lettuce leaf Separate egg, fork yolk until smooth, beat white frothy. Dredge scallop pieces in flour, mix yolk in, then tip into whisked whites and mix well.Tip mix into hot pan and fry quickly so just coloured on both sides. (try to make it a similar shape to the Ciabatta) Add the scallop “omelette” to the sandwich and just squirm as you eat it warm! Or try it with prawns, monkfish or squid perhaps? This recipe is unbelievablygood!Well thanks very much for that one!
Saturday 23rd October6TH AMPTHILL PIE FESTIVAL
Taking place on October 23rd is the 6th Ampthill Pie Festival to raise funds for MacMillan Cancer Support!You are invited to make a pie of your own choosing, either sweet or savoury, or one of each! Bring and register your entries on the day between 11.00 am and 1.00 pm when judging begins, and compete for one of our magnificent pie trophies! There will also be a great selection of Guest ales, Music and Merriment and even if you haven’t made a pie you are welcome to come along and join in! Please contact us for all the information: 01525 405016
Saturday 30th OctoberHAYLEY’S ‘HAYLEYWEEN’ PARTY
There’s more fun and merriment afoot here at the Queens when Hayley gets on the case to organise a special ‘Halloween’ party from around 8.00 pm onwards! Fancy dress is welcomed though not compulsory, lots of surprises and there may even be a mystery guest pumpkin!
ALL DAY SUNDAY ROASTS
Professional chef Daniel is pleased to offer his roast lunches throughout the day, but it is best to
book in case he gets a rush and he runs out! Plus home made specials served every day.
CHRISTMAS PARTY BOOKINGS NOW BEING TAKEN
Daniel’s Christmas menu will soon be available which features a magnificent ‘Three Bird Roast’ as a speciality! Please ring or pop in for details.
QUIZ NIGHT EVERY WEDNESDAY
With our resident Quizmaster and his lovely assistant - starts at 9.00 pm. Also: 2 separate outside smoking areas 2 bars plus cosy lounge ideal for private conversations, meetings, book clubs etc - pop in and have a look!
Page 21
With Howie Q: Why are many coin banks shaped like pigs? A: Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe were made of a dense orange clay called 'pygg'. When people saved coins in jars made of this clay, the jars became known as 'pygg banks.' When an English potter misunderstood the word, he made a bank that resembled a pig. And it caught on. Q: Did you ever wonder why dimes, quarters and half dollars have notches, while pennies and nickels do not? A: The US Mint began putting notches on the edges of coins containing gold and silver to discourage holders from shaving off small quantities of the precious metals. Dimes, quarters and half dollars are notched because they used to contain silver. Pennies and nickels aren't notched because the metals they contain are not valuable enough to shave. Q: Why do ships and aircraft in trouble use 'mayday' as their call for help? A: This comes from the French word m'aidez - meaning 'help me' – and is pronounced 'mayday.'Thanks once more for these pearls of wisdom!?
Dick MolloyLocal
Painter & Decorator Free quotations
07872 93803728 years experience
Registered Member of The British Chiropody and Podiatry Association HPC Registration No. CH17913
THERESE GRAY FSSCh. Dip Pod Med. MBChA. Chiropodist/Podiatrist Surgery By Appointment
BBC i Player seems to be everywhere at the moment. If you have not used it, it’s a very simple way of watching BBC programmes that you may have missed or forgotten to record. Initially i player was available on computers however over the past few months more and more televisions have the i player experience available either by connecting the television to your broadband router or in many instances you can connect wirelessly to the relevant broadband hub, alleviating the need for unsightly cables. BBC programmes that you have missed are then accessed using the television remote control. Simples as our rodent friend on TV keeps saying. Several Televisions now offer Internet browsing. Panasonic have introduced Skype to some of their TVs. This is ideal if you have relatives or friends abroad. Take for example Auntie is in Australia and she uses the Skype system you would be able to see and chat to her at no cost! You Tube, Euro sport news and Love film are other popular sites. As the dark nights draw in, pick up your remote control click on the love film icon and have access to hundreds of films available instantly, now that’s convenience! I know some of you may be thinking that all this technology will need a degree to drive it….trust me its simple, call into the shop we will show you how simple it really is. Are you ready for when the analogue TV channels get turned off? BBC 2 will be turned off on the 30th March 2011 followed by remaining analogue channels on the 13th April. Do remember that its not just your main TV that you need to think about. Do you have a set in the bedroom, kitchen, study or conservatory? Are you still recording on a video recorder? If you are unsure whether you will be affected call into our showroom and have a chat and collect your free digital switchover guide.The answer as always is to speak to your local Independent Specialist to get professional information and a demonstration.
Paul Mead - Michael R Peters, Tavistock Sound & Vision Telephone 01234 352107/356323. (See their ad on the back page of this issue)
THE ROYAL OAK 40 George Street, WOBURN
We offer great pub food with many homemade dishes, real ales, good garden & smoking area, pool table and darts board. A lovely country pub to visit
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Hilary & Neil look forward to seeing you
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With the price of car-parking, tax and petrol, the ideal vehicle for commuting is a scooter; a years’ tax on a scooter is only £15. Very cheap to insure. At Most rail stations parking for a scooter is free (£6.20 a day for a car), coupled by the fact that you can actually park. The other obvious advantage is that you can get circa 100 miles to a gallon.
You can ride a 50 cc at age 16, or if you have a full car licence, just twist and go, no test or ‘L’ plates required. (Providing licence obtained prior to February 2001)
September is fast approaching so why don’t you treat yourself to a brand new 60 plate Scooter FROM AS LITTLE AS £750.00 BRAND NEW, TAXED REGISTERED AND ON THE ROAD.
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With Aldous Appleby Continued from last monthMy mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.‘Just wait until we get home.’ My mother taught me about RECEIVING.‘You are going to get it when you get home!’ My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE.‘If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.’ My mother taught me about ESP.‘Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you'll be cold?’ My mother taught me about HUMOUR.‘When that lawnmower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.’ My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.‘If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.’ Great stuff Aldous and many thanks again for sharing those with us!
‘Do you want dinner?’ Dirty Dave asked his wife. ‘What are my choices?’ she replied. ‘Yes and no’ said Dirty Dave.
Thanks once more to another eagle eyed reader who spotted the following: ‘Wanted: Ejection seat tester. Involves a small amount of travelling.’ Thanks again for that one.
I didn’t want to peep round this silly wall either! But who am I? I am an actress appearing on your television screens in a yet another hugely popular American show. You’ll find the answer at the foot of the page.
Happy Birthday to Katy for the 19th October
Lots of love Justin xx
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Page 25
By Henry Flagstaff It wasn’t my turn to walk the cat, so with Gladys cheerfully relishing the task I pottered off to the library to see what literary excitement would be on the shelves. Always so difficult with such an excellent choice, but on inspecting said shelves and their contents a book by the author Robin Cook seemed to need reading! Entitled ‘Foreign Body’, the fly promised a fast paced medical thriller. Rushing back to the wing back, I poured a goodly shot of malt (Gladys was still out)
and delved into the pages. The tome is set in India and concerns a ‘sinister, multi- layered conspiracy of global proportions’. The characters, the very cleverly constructed plot, a n d t h e d y n a m i c descriptions of the locale seemed to physically whisk you to join the others in solving the crime! Altogether a splendid read ! Incidentally, if you are not a member of the library you really ought to pop in and join up - there is literally hours of entertainment just waiting for you!
HF
She got home, screeched her car into the driveway, ran
into the house, slammed the door and shouted to her husband at the top of her lungs,... ‘Pack your bags.
I just won the lottery!’ The husband said,
‘Oh my Goodness! What should I pack, beach stuff
or mountain stuff?’ ‘Doesn't matter’, she said,
‘Just get out!’
With Gerard Boughtye Exciting news! There’s to be a new convenience store in the middle of Ampthill! Opening any day now, Richard’s convenience store is moving from Queens Road to premises formerly k n o w n a s T u r n e r s Newsagents in Dunstable Street. Situated right next door to the Albion public house we understand that Richard plans to offer a wide range of goods in addition to the many lines he already carries including newspapers, tobacco and an off licence too! See next month’s Fuddler for more!
CHEESEMANS PHARMACY OF AMPTHILL Tel: 01525 402173
FREE PRESCRIPTION DELIVERY Can’t get to the chemist or surgery?
Don’t worry, we’ll pick up your prescription from your surgery and deliver your medication to your door.
We understand that after a rip-roaring start to the story - it has all ended in a fizzle! However, we will keep you in touch with developments!
Where’s Wally Wilkinson??
Page 26
AMPTHILL & DISTRICT LIONS CLUB What sort of a community do you want to live in? We in Ampthill & District Lions Club are going to rise to the challenge of improving our community by caring for one another. That is why we are proud of our efforts to sponsor the 2 new Youth Football Teams in Ampthill supporting our Youth in the Local Community. They will be wearing the Lions logo on their new shirts and we wish them and all the families involved the best of luck for the coming season. Youth of today are our future tomorrow. You can help the lions in their work for the community by becoming a Friend of Lions. We want people both male and female to join up to become a friend of Lions. It will cost you nothing, all we ask is that you can give some of your spare time to give a hand at some of our fund raising projects. Helping supervise our Moonraker sponsored night walk in aid of Macmillan Cancer Care, extra manpower for our Fireworks Display in Ampthill Park on November 5th (one of Bedfordshire’s largest fireworks display), having fun meeting people with our Christmas Santa Float, join in our social events and our club birthday party the annual Charter celebration. We now have a growing number of “Friends” – why don’t you become one of them? Lions are or could be someone like you. Don’t ask what your Community can do for you but what you can do for your Community. Make a difference in your Community and have fun and friendship. We have male and female members and more information can be obtained from our website www.ampthilllions.btck.com or by telephoning 08458 332 883. We meet on the 1st and 3rd Mondays of the month at 8pm in the Jolly Coopers, Flitton, Beds.
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See noticeboard inside bar area
Page 27
Ampthill Festival Committee in association with Ampthill TV presents
Two double DVD sets of the 2010 Ampthill Festival
Set One — The Proms in the Park & the Festival Gala Day (2hr 30m) Proms introduced by Robert Daws, featuring Ampthill Town Band,
Ampthill Concert Orchestra, Redborne Jazz Band, Peter Hoare & Natasha Joul. Festival Gala Day, Parade & brief preview of the groups.
Set Two — The 2010 local bands from AmpRocks and Gala Day (3hr 15m) Muchos Besos, The Nimblewits, Rubber Cindy, The Whybirds, Duncan Arkley, Alias, Tristan Infernoso, Betaboy, Fran Bove, Rogue Radio, Folk’n’Ska Souls
ONLY available from Moonspirit, 11 Bedford St, Ampthill from mid October (look for poster in window)
Price £6.50 each set on DVD or £10 on Blu-ray * (CASH ONLY - all proceeds to Ampthill Festival Funds)
(*Blu-Ray player & HD ready TV required to play HD Blu-ray discs)
Over 5 hrs from the 2010 Ampthill Festival to view on DVD
Also available to view in FULL HD on a Blu-Ray disc*
Page 28
A truck driver had to deliver five hundred penguins to the local zoo. As he was driving his truck through the countryside, the truck broke down. After waiting by the side of the road for about three
hours, Mr Chuckles arrived but found the truck was too big for his tow truck. The driver was mortified but the delivery had to be made so he offered Mr Chuckles £500 to take the penguins to the zoo for him. The next day, the truck driver arrived in town and saw Mr Chuckles crossing the road with 500 penguins walking in single file behind him and steam gently rising from each ear. The truck driver jumped out of his truck and said, ‘What's going on? I gave you £500 to take these penguins to the zoo!’ ‘I did take them to the zoo. And I had money left over, so now we're going to see a movie.’ growled Mr Chuckles.
Happy 26th Birthday to Jen Jen love from Cheesecake and Pet!
1 ‘Well, the moon’s only 5 miles away - isn’t it?’ 2 ‘Would you consult a Doctor that was sick?’ 3 ‘This music takes me back to my youth. But I don’t know which one’
BELLA JANE An enormous
welcome home to Ampthill ...
... When do you go back to Scotland? Congratulations to Emily
and Tim on the arrival of baby Bertie who
Was born on 22nd September
weighing 6lbs 9ozs.
1st November STEPH
Happy Birthday Squiffy - my Child Bride
From your Slipper xxx
Times to suit you. 1st assessment FREE -
45 mins lessons AGES 6 to 60
For further information contact Guy on 07811 364 328
Reasonable Rates Experienced Mechanic
Servicing Spares Repairs ON ALL MAKES OF CARS, MOTORCYCLES
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Page 29
where’ s the economicdown turn . . . .
. . . In Arthur’s World
We are all suffering a littlebit from the lack of asurplus few bob in this dayand age.Even the f inancia lwizardry of keeping agood pint on the threequid mark is an art (sorryabout the pun) in itself thesedays.We all watch our budgets,sorting out how much weare going to lash out in ourcorner shop. Added towhich is the general cost ofliving expenses like a goodcurry, a few beers and an
occasional loss making tripto the bookies – all thebasic essentials of modernday life in Ampthill.You reckon you’ve “got itall sussed”.Then WHAM the wifedecides on an addition tothe family.Not the two legged, nappychanging, bottle feedingvariety that can keep youawake most of the night.No – she wanted anotherdog ! !.So inevitably, because “shewho wants shall always beobeyed”, we finish up withan 8 week old ball of fluffcalled a border collie. Itdidn’t impress itself on me
by chewing my shoe lacesafter our first introduction.Mind you I had just putone of my size 9’s on herback leg.So here we have her – theNew Queen of Park Hill,metaphorically speakingany way.Then suddenly yourweekly corner shop billgoes through the ceilingwith all the additions ofdog food and canineaccessories. So much forcontrolled budgeting !She’s cost me well over 350quid before she’s even puta muddy paw on my cleancarpet.The grandkids have been
given the task of choosinga name for her. Someserious suggestion havecome from the girls ! !Can you honestly imagineme in Ampthill Parkyelling out “Come hereDaffodi l l” or evenButtercup or Lilly just ‘cosshe’s a girl with a namechosen by girls. However,exercise shall be king ! !Anyway – here’s to thefuture and a much fitter,leaner version of yourstruly. Just so long as Idon’t loose my Street Credand she can find a placeunder my bar stool I’ll be arejuvenated happy dogwalker.
BOB AMBLERHOME DESIGNS
CarpentryKitchens - Bedrooms
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Worktops and Built in Appliances A complete design, supply and
installation service01525 405393 ans. phone
Mobile: 07889 058345
THE FIRS GUEST HOUSE & CAFE
85, High Street, Ridgmont, Beds Tel: 01525 280279 or 288282
www.thefirsatridgmont.co.uk
GREAT VALUE AT THE FIRS!
Bed & Breakfast from only £25.00 pppn CONTRACTORS WELCOME
Why not call in for one of our FAMOUS ALL DAY BREAKFASTS?
Plus … Teas, coffees, sandwiches, rolls and a large selection of home cooked meals at
£5.00 or less! Eat in or take away
BUTCHERS
Telephone (01908) 375275 www.bestbutcher.co.uk
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tel: 01525 633336 www.businesspoint.uk.com
Page 30
With Fergus Handislip Oops! I think I’m in big trouble again with Mrs Handislip, but this really is what happened (sort of!): I took the day off work to go and play some golf. I was on the 2nd hole and noticed a frog sitting next to the green. Didn’t think much of it and was about to play when I heard ‘Ribbit. 9 iron.’ There was no one around but again I heard ‘Ribbit. 9 iron.’ Determined to prove the frog wrong I grabbed my 9 iron took an almighty swing and amazingly landed just 10 inches from the hole. Having decided it must be a lucky frog I took it to the next hole. ‘What do you reckon?’ I asked. ‘Ribbit. 3 wood.’ I took the 3 wood and whack - hole in one! I think I played the best golf of my life that day so I asked the frog what we should do next. ‘Ribbit. The casino.’ So off we went to the hotel and casino and went to the roulette table. I asked the frog what I should bet on. ‘Ribbit. £2,000 on black number 24.’ This is too much money I thought to myself, but considering the golf I thought ‘Why not - let’s give it a go.’ Sure enough 24 came up and I won loads of cash! So I booked the best room in the hotel, sat the frog down and said ‘Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful.’ The frog replied ‘Kiss me.’ I was a bit stunned but after all that had been done for me I thought the frog deserved it. With the kiss the frog then changed into a gorgeous young woman. ‘And that, I swear, is how that woman ended up in my room.’
Beech Firewood fromrenewable sources We plant 10 trees
for every one we fell£125 for a full load deliveredlocally (equivalent to over 2
‘pick up’ loads) £70 per half load delivered
Contact Diane at Estate Office
01525 290 333
Longs Inn, formerly MagpiesHotel, a charming 17th
century coaching inn has anew manager and teamready to look after you.
Our new Chef uses only thefreshest locally sourced
produce in his dishes, whynot come along and discover
all we have to offer.
Plus ... Excellent fine ales!
Bedford Street,Woburn, MK17 9QBTel: 01525 290219
www. longsinn.com
Rock Chorus is a choir with a difference. It was started by Dunstable based singer/songwriter Lauren Field in September 2009 and now has over 150 members across five choirs and is growing week by week. "Singing is one of the strongest glues for encouraging positive community development - We want people to come because they love singing, enjoy the experience and want to make new friends, pure and simple as that - It’s a no-brainer, great fun and good for your health – there aren’t too many things you can say that about" Lauren Field Don’t miss out! Classic Pop / Rock / Soul / Gospel from the 1960’s to 2010 - No Audition! - No Prior Experience Required! Fun and Friendship Guaranteed!"Come along for a Free Taster Session" to Wavendon Gate School, Gregories Drive, Wavendon Gate, Milton Keynes, MK7 7HL – Every Wednesday evening at 8.pm to 9.30pm For further information see the website: www.rock-chorus.com or email [email protected] or telephone 01582 668211
FARMERS MARKETS The Farmers Market in Woburn is held on the third Sunday of every month at The Pitchings, whilst Ampthill Farmers Market is held on the last Saturday of each month at their new home at The Prince of Wales in Bedford Street, Ampthill. Don’t forget The Charter Market in Ampthill every Thursday and Flitwick Market on Fridays!
Page 32
Sometimes you just know you’re being ripped off!
La Spezia June 2010 Part II About half way from the station to our hotel, s t a r t e d thinking of t h e f o l l o w i n g day, the drive to Milan and our flight back to UK. We needed a few snacks for the drive and although I had found a good little deli already, a new shop emerged that looked great, straight out of an Italian
Hovis advert. It looked, smelled and sounded too good to be true! We bought bread, prosciuto crudo, gorgonzola and olives, we had already
b o u g h t some great olive oil a n d b a l s a m i c vinegar but I found this bottle of b a l s a m i c that seemed to have the
texture of treacle, it was only 3.90 Euro’s so I added it to the pile. I reckoned we had spent about 8-10 euro’s.. When the chap added it all up it came to 18
Euros! .I thought, I’m tired, I cannot add up, I have had a hard day, I want to go home. The walk back to the hotel was hell, my knees where killing me, the rest of my body was saying “Knees?! What about ME” the worst part about it was that the shop attendant had been so obsequious, carrying our bag round the counter to the door to help us on our way, I was fuming and decided to return the following morning to remonstrate. I was too tired and we set off to Milan with our expensive snacks and some ten hours later had a nice cup of tea in Flitwick. A couple of days later I was
showing someone our lovely bottle of Balsamic Vinegar that had caused my fury when they pointed out that the price tag “clearly” s a i d 1 3 . 9 0 E u r o s . OOOPS!!! (it was a Hovis ad shop with poor lighting!) Some days later we had cause to open and use some, it was like a good port, or as Paul Hogan would say, “like an angel cryin on yer tongue” I now think that maybe the shop assistant was showing admiration for an English tourist who recognised quality. I must go back and apologise Prof Reginald V Q da Ghama IPAWith kind permission of Jim Barr
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Page 34
And here, as a change, we bring you reminiscences from Montgolfier: Schools - How does yours compare to mine? To mine was a fraction over 3 miles and we either walked or cycled. The school bell above the roof rang when it was time to start. We had a school allotment where we grew all types of vegetables which were cooked in the school canteen. We also kept bees and extracted the honey and put it in jars. Another thing we did was to breed rabbits for the school canteen and the skins we used to cure and make up into gloves. On Fridays we used to go by train for about 5 miles to another school for carpentry classes. Oh yes, we even got caned for wrongdoings. Times were good but things have changed, I bet you don’t breed rabbits for your dinner or get caned!
Thanks for the memories Sir.
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With Geoffrey THE GolferA fellow is getting ready to tee-off on the first hole when a second fellow approaches and asks if he can join him. The first fellow says that he usually plays alone but agrees to let the second gent join him. Both are even after the first couple of holes. The second guy says, ‘Say, we're about evenly matched, how about we play for ten pounds a hole?’ The first fellow says that he usually plays alone and doesn't like to bet but agrees to the terms. Well, the second guy wins the
rest of the holes and as they're walking off of the eighteenth hole, and while counting his £160.00, he confesses that he's the pro at a neighbouring course and likes to pick on the gullible. The first man reveals that he's the Parish Priest at the local Catholic Church to which the second fellow gets all flustered and apologetic and offers to give the Priest back his money. The Priest says, ‘No, no. You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings.’The pro says, ‘Well, is there anything I can do to make it
The mammoth man apologises to his reader that there will be a short break whilst he f i n i s h e s o f f h i s schoolwork. Contrary to malicious reports, the mammoth man is not spending any time in accommodation at one of Her Majesty’s holiday flats nor has he been abducted by the Man in Black. He will return in a couple of months with the eagerly awaited conclusion to his French adventure.
TTFN
Here’s a little more whimsy from one of our readers: Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis. Santa ' s he lpers are subordinate clauses. Acupuncture is a jab well done. A word of advice. Don't join dangerous cults: safe sects is only the way to go! Oh Dear! But thanks!
up to you?’ The Priest says, ‘Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. And if you bring your mother and father by after Mass, I'll marry them for you.’
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