Writing Packet

NAME: PERIOD:

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PrewritingPrewriting is the most important part of writing an

essay. Without prewriting your ideas are unorganized and jumbled. You do not know how to begin and you are unclear about the most important points of your

essay.

FIRST, you want to decide what it is that you are actually doing in your essay. Are you persuading? Informing? Telling a story?

NEXT, you want to decide what information or ideas you should include. If it is a persuasive essay, you will need to decide your position on the issue. If it is an informational essay, you will need to decide what you would like to inform / tell / notify / teach the reader.

THEN, you want to decide your main points of emphasis. In other words, what specifically will you write about within your paragraphs?

FINALLY, you want to write these ideas down in a logical and organized way. There are many ways to pre-write. You could complete a sun map or concept map, create an outline, organize using linear boxes that separate your ideas, make a list, or ask a bunch of questions about the subject.

REMEMBER: the more effort you put into your prewritingthe better your essay will be. Beginning an essay with a blank Word document staring at you is both intimidating and fruitless. You must begin with organizing your thoughts!!

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Examples of Prewriting

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MAIN IDEA / TOPIC!

SUB IDEA / IDEA THAT RELATES TO MAIN IDEA /

DETAIL / INFORMATION THAT RELATES TO SUB TOPIC!

CONCEPT MAP/WEB

OUTLINE

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MAIN TOPIC

SUB TOPIC 1

DETAIL

DETAIL

SUB TOPIC 2

DETAIL

DETAIL

SUB TOPIC 3

DETAIL

This shows pre-write

for the majority of

an essay

TRANSITION SENTENCE INTO

NEXT PARAGRAPH

DETAIL 3 FOR PARAGRAPH

DETAIL 2 FOR PARAGRAPH

DETAIL 1 FOR PARAGRAPH

MAIN IDEA OF PARAGRAPH

This shows pre-write for

ONE paragraph

LINEAR BOXES

How do I order my supporting points?

Logical order: where there is a natural progression of points; where points move logically from one to the next; used mostly in informational pieces.

Emphatic order: where you build to the strongest point and end with it. The argument will grow in force rather than get weaker and your conclusion will have more impact on the reader.

Reverse-emphatic order: where the strongest argument comes first. This is especially useful when the writer’s argument rests primarily on one dominant point. All news articles are organized this way in order to maintain the reader’s attention.

Sandwich order: where a strong point opens, followed by a weak point, and ending with a strong point. Sandwich order may be effective when a writer has two strong points and one weak point.

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Thesis StatementWhat is the THESIS STATEMENT?

The thesis statement is the blue print or summary for your paper. It tells exactly what you will be writing about in one lengthier sentence. If you are arguing/persuading a position, then it includes your exact position and why. If you are informing the reader, then it tells exactly what you are informing and why.

Your thesis statement is located in your introductory paragraph, usually at the

end!!!

Once you have a sound thesis statement, you are ready to write the rest of your paper. Many students think they cannot write a thesis statement and think that they do not know what they are. A thesis statement is not intimidating; it only is if you have no idea what you want to write about! SO…they are easy, as long as you did your pre-writing!Within your thesis statement, you want to include your purpose for the paper and your supportive reasons for this purpose. This helps the reader to know exactly what your goal is within your paper.

ALL ideas / main points in your paper should tie back to your thesis statement!

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THE THESIS STATEMENT FORMULA

The Thesis Statement is a simple formula:

Main point + Supporting Point 1 + Supporting Point 2 + Supporting Point 3 = thesis statement

INFORMATIONAL ESSAY1. Sentence stating what is trying to be demonstrated or shown

Dogs make great pets

2. Add three supporting points Because they go for walks - body paragraph 1 Because they play fetch - body paragraph 2 Because they love their owners - body paragraph 3

3. Combine into one sentence Dogs make excellent pets because they go for walks, they play fetch, and

they love their owners.

4. Reevaluate sentence structure and word choice – this is your thesis statement While dogs make exceptional pets simply because they can go for walks,

they are also wonderful because they can play fetch and because they show their love for their owners.

PERSUASIVE ESSAY

1. Sentence stating what is trying to be proven Illegal immigration is harming the United States

2. Add three supporting points Because it’s hurting border communities - body paragraph 1 Because it’s hurting American workers - body paragraph 2 Because it’s hurting our economy - body paragraph 3

3. Combine into one sentence Illegal immigration is harming to the United States because it is hurting

border communities, American workers, and our economy.

4. Reevaluate sentence structure and word choice – this is your thesis statement. Although many disagree on the course of action that should be taken, illegal

immigration must swiftly be dealt with as it is detrimental to the United States. If we ignore this plague, illegal immigrants will continue to destroy border communities, harm American workers, and hurt our economy.

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MORE EXAMPLES

INFORMATIONAL ESSAY

Topic: Compare and Contrast why the North and South fought the Civil War.

Thesis: While both sides fought the Civil War over the issue of slavery, the North fought for moral reasons while the South fought to preserve its own institutions.

(OR)Thesis: While both Northerners and Southerners believed they fought against tyranny and oppression, Northerners focused on the oppression of slaves while Southerners defended their own rights to property and self-government.

Topic: What is the life of a typical high school student?

Thesis: Even though the life of a typical high school student can be easy-going and fun at times, it is often characterized by rushing from class to class with only a five minute break, balancing challenging academics with a new-found social life, and realizing that extracurricular activities both open up many rewarding opportunities and limit relaxation; therefore, it should be known that high school life is not easy.

PERSUASIVE ESSAY

Topic: What is the best option for a high school student after graduation to prepare him/her for the real world?

Thesis: High school graduates should be required to take a year off to pursue community service projects before entering college or the work force in order to increase their maturity, global awareness, and recognition of responsibility.

Topic: Topic: Pro (for) school uniforms.Thesis: Although the debate over school uniforms remains, it is clear that issuing school uniforms would increase academic rigor among students, create a more cohesive and friendly student atmosphere, and increase school safety as uniforms would decrease any prejudice and/or social cliques caused by clothing; therefore, undoubtedly uniforms should be mandated in every school across the United States.

The Dreaded Introduction

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The introduction is by far the most difficult and most important part of a paper. While yes, you save the most important and juicy details for the body of your essay, it can be argued that a reader is already “captured” or “turned off” by the time he or she even reaches the first line of your first body paragraph.

So, how do you write a good introduction? Well, the first step is understanding what the point of the introduction is.

The point of the introduction is obviously to introduce the topic. But more than that it establishes that you, as writer and/or researcher, know what you’re talking about. It demonstrates that you, in the next few pages, are going to enlighten the reader by opening their eyes to all information you have become an “expert” in. It creates a student-teacher relationship between reader and writer right off the bat (and you know how you believe everything we teachers say!)

First, however, you need to draw the reader in. You need to set out bait to hook the reader into wanting to read what you have to say. This is probably the most important part of the entire introduction considering most people have short attention spans and need to feel enticed if they are going to spend any minute of their lives reading a persuasive essay.

Some "hooks" include:

Opening with an unusual detail: (Manitoba, because of its cold climate, is not thought of as a great place to be a reptile. Actually, it has the largest seasonal congregation of garter snakes in the world!)

Opening with a strong statement: (Cigarettes are the number one cause of lighter sales in Canada!)

Opening with a Quotation: (Elbert Hubbard once said, "Truth is stronger than fiction.") Opening with an Anecdote: An anecdote can provide an amusing and attention-

getting opening if it is short and to the point. Opening with a Statistic or Fact: Sometimes a statistic or fact will add emphasis or

interest to your topic. It may be wise to include the item's authoritative source. Opening with a Question. (Have you ever considered how many books we'd read if it

were not for television?) Opening with an Exaggeration or Outrageous Statement. (The whole world watched

as the comet flew overhead.)

Besides the hook, you will need to include some background information on your topic, or in other words a short synopsis of what you discuss in your paper (this is where you show your “expert” voice) as well as a statement about what your position is on your topic (also known as the dreaded thesis statement). After that, you’re ready to open your reader’s eyes the unknown world of you as “spin-doctor.” Personal story or anecdote

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You want to make sure this story is used strategically. A random story will only confuse your reader. Your story should have a purpose as it relates to the overall point of your paper.

Do not have the reader “imagine.” Example: Imagine you are a child in Rwanda whose parents have just died from starvation. Now you are orphaned and hungry.

What does this “imagine” scene actually do for the reader? Not much. It is impossible to imagine the fear involved in this scenario unless one has actually experienced it! So, the paper needs to start another way!

Example: As I nervously waited with spoon in hand feeling the unfamiliar pressure of a hair net against my pony tail, I took a deep breath and smiled as the homeless entered the soup kitchen. For the first time in my life, I witnessed fear, sadness, and relief all in one expression. With every spoonful of potatoes I dished, I kept thinking how absolutely lucky I was to have a warm meal and a warm bed waiting for me at home.

QuoteBe sure your quote has a connection to the purpose of your paper! You must also CITE the quote or it is PLAGIARISM!

You must lead into your quote, so that it does not stand alone. Example: “A man who won’t die for something is not fit to live.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

In this bad example, the writer leaves the quote to stand alone; the quote alone should not be the sentence!

Example: The prominent social and civil rights activist, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., proudly asserted that “A man who won’t die for something is not fit to live” (King, Jr.). King lived and died by these words as he risked facing violent enemies in order to fight for something in which he believed. We need to live similarly, especially when we fight for…

In this good example, the writer includes the person who spoke the quote and a little bit about him; therefore, the quote alone is not the sentence!

Additionally, the writer connected the quote to the larger purpose of the paper and did not just throw a random quote into the paper to “start it.”

SURPRISING question or statementThe question or statement should connect with the overall point to your paper.

Do not ask questions that have immediate “yes” or “no” answers!Example: Is Barack Obama a good president?

The question or statement should be something that grabs the attention of the reader.

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Example: What is a hero? In this bad example, the writer should explain the characteristics of a hero

and why heroes are necessary in every aspect of our world, instead of asking the reader a base question.

Example: According to Webster’s dictionary, a hero is one who… In this bad example, the writer is not engaging as the expert of this paper.

The writer needs to explain his/her point of view and why that point of view is important to the paper.

Do not rely on Webster’s dictionary for a word that you know the definition to!

Example: There is not a person who does not have sixty seconds to spare during the day, and this could be all it takes to become someone’s hero.

HOW DO I WRITE AN INTRODUCTION WHEN I’M STUCK… Begin with the “end” in mind! Don’t stare at a blank computer screen because you don’t know how to begin your first sentence. Start with a body paragraph.

Chances are, you know what you want to write in a body paragraph, so write the body paragraph. Then, write another body paragraph. By that point, the way to begin your paper should become more clear and less stressful or intimidating. BEGIN NOW with paying attention to how professional writers, such as in the

articles we read in class, begin their writings. Imitating, after all, is the best form of flattery!!!

WHAT HAPPENS AFTER I FIGURE OUT THE START?!11

After you begin your paper, you need to include the necessary information to keep the reader informed of your purpose and what to expect in your paper.

Your thesis statement needs to be included in your introductory paragraph and this is usually at the end of the paragraph.

For example, if you are writing about school uniforms and how they should be implemented in all schools for the reasons that…

o they will help decrease student anxiety over clothing choice and differences,

o they will save families money, o and they are proven to increase student achievement and

professionalismthen each of these needs to be BRIEFLY discussed in the introductory paragraph to lead the reader into knowing what it is that will be discussed.

YOUR INTRODUCTION IS A BLUE PRINT INTO THE REST OF THE PAPER AND IS THE START (OBVIOUSLY), SO YOU WANT TO ENSURE

IT IS CRISP, INTERESTING, AND CLEAN! When I read a paper, and the introduction is messy, I wonder how rough the rest of the paper will be, considering the student could not take the

time to even review the first paragraph.

Topic Sentences and TransitionsTopic sentences and transitional devices are like bridges between parts of your paper. They are cues that help the reader to interpret ideas a paper develops and help bridge the gap with what you are writing so there is a smooth flow and constant purpose with what you are writing.

The topic sentence, especially a transitional topic sentence, is the glue between paragraphs. When there are no topic sentences, then the reader does not know your purpose for that paragraph and there is no tie back to your thesis statement. (Remember, your thesis statement should be referred to throughout your paper---in the topic sentences and in the body paragraphs). The topic sentence should match the purpose of your paragraph and an idea from your thesis statement. One idea per paragraph!

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Within a paragraph, transitional words and phrases are used to help carry a thought from one sentence to another, from one idea to another, or from one paragraph to another. In addition, transitional devices link sentences and paragraphs together smoothly so that there are no abrupt jumps or breaks between ideas.

Good transitions can connect paragraphs and turn disconnected writing into a unified whole. Instead of treating paragraphs as separate ideas, transitions can help readers understand how paragraphs work together, reference one another, and build to a larger point. The key to producing good transitions is highlighting connections between corresponding paragraphs. By referencing in one paragraph the relevant material from previous ones, writers can develop important points for their readers.

It is a good idea to continue one paragraph where another leaves off (instances where this is especially challenging may suggest that the paragraphs don't belong together at all.) Picking up key phrases from the previous paragraph and highlighting them in the next can create an obvious progression for readers. Many times, it only takes a few words to draw these connections. Instead of writing transitions that could connect any paragraph to any other paragraph, write a transition that could only connect one specific paragraph to another specific paragraph.

When there are no transition sentences or phrases then the reader is merely jumping from one point to another without a flow. The writing can be choppy and juvenile and the message can be lost

with confusion.

Ideally you want to use complex sentences when working with topic sentences and transitions to help your writing sound more

mature and less choppy.

EXAMPLE: Even though there is an abundance of good cheer and good wishes during the holiday season, too many are still not willing to give their time to those who are not as fortunate; and the best method would be for families to join in this effort together.

EXAMPLE TOPIC SIMPLE SENTENCE : School uniforms should exist because it would save money.

Even though this sentence includes good information, it could be presented in a more mature and complex way to establish a better writing style.

EXAMPLE TOPIC COMPLEX SENTENCE :Despite the desire among students for individuality, saving money trumps this notion as it is proven that uniforms can save an average family hundreds of dollars per year.

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This sentence includes the necessary information for having a paragraph about saving money with school uniforms and it is presented in such a way that establishes maturity from the writer.

EXAMPLE TRANSITION SIMPLE SENTENCE : I like school. I also like to spend time with my friends.

You can see that the first sentence deals with a paragraph about liking school. The second sentence refers to the next paragraph about enjoying time with friends. However, these sentences are immature and choppy.

EXAMPLE TRANSITION COMPLEX SENTENCE :Although I really enjoy school, I also appreciate the free time I can spend with my friends without the stress and worry from upcoming homework or projects.

You can see that the sentence smoothly transfers from one paragraph about liking school to the next about spending time with friends. The transition is smooth, mature, and creates style from the writer.

OTHER EXAMPLES OF COMPLEX TOPIC SENTENCES : Although I view myself as an outgoing and friendly person, there are times

when I just want to be alone. Since my friends and I are really goofy and silly, I have come to be known as a

class clown. While I may seem open and friendly, I really hate it when people pry into my

business. Because I am almost finished with high school, I have decided that now is my

last chance to get involved with school activities.

Yes it is okay to begin a sentence with “Because.”

AND…yes, it is okay to begin a sentence with “And”…if you are using it for style and not

just to ramble!

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OTHER EXAMPLES OF COMPLEX TRANSITION SENTENCES : Even though my family has helped to shape who I am, my best friend, who I

have known for nine years, has really made me the person I am today. My school life is very important to me and it has given me the opportunity to

become a great engineer; however, my social life allows me to present the more comfortable side of my personality.

I always viewed my grandmother as the backbone to my family, for she was the one who ensured that we ate meals together and talked to one another; for this reason, I want to be that type of person for my family.

Transitions (Connecting Words)Use these words to transition from one statement to the next.

Think of these words as bridges between sentences or paragraphs.

To Add:

and again and then besides equally important

finally further furthermore nor too next

lastly what's more moreover in addition first (second, etc.)

To Compare:

whereas but

yet on the other hand

however nevertheless

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on the contrary by comparison where compared to up against balanced against

vis a vis but although conversely meanwhile

after allin contrast although this may be truelikewiseon one hand

To Prove:

because for since for the same reason obviously

evidently furthermore moreover besides

indeed in fact in addition in any case that is

To Show Exception:

yet still however

nevertheless in spite of despite

of course once in a while sometimes

To Show Time:

immediately thereafter soon after a few hours finally

afterwards then later previously

formerly first (second etc.) next at length

To Repeat:

in brief as stated beforeas noted previously as noted before

referring backas has been notedin shortas previously stated

in other wordsto be more preciseas already mentioned

To Emphasize:

definitely extremely obviously in fact indeed

in any case absolutely positively naturally surprisingly

always forever perennially eternally never

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emphatically unquestionably without a doubt

certainly undeniably without reservation

trulyespeciallyunfortunately

To Show Sequence:

first (second, etc.)third and so forthnext then following this at this time now at this point

after afterwards subsequently finally consequently previously before this simultaneously concurrently

thus therefore hence next and then soonand so it follows thatmoving from

To Give an Example:

for example for instance in this case in another case

on this occasion in this situation take the case of to demonstrate

to illustrate as an illustrationon the one hand

To Summarize or Conclude:

in brief on the whole summing up to conclude in conclusion as was shown as was said hence therefore accordingly thus

as a result consequently on the wholeas a final pointas a final argument

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Signal Words for Determining Text PatternsUse these words to organize your notes into fluid writing.

Chronological Sequence

after afterward as soon as beforeduring finally first followingimmediately initially later meanwhilenext not long after now on (date)preceding second soon thenthird today until when

Comparison/Contrast

although as well as as opposed to bothbut compared with different from either...oreven though however instead of in commonon the other hand otherwise similar to similarlystill yet

Description

above across along appears to beas in behind below besidebetween down in back of in front oflooks like near on top of ontooutside over such as to the right/leftunder

Generalization/Principle

additionally always because of clearlyconclusively first for instance for examplefurthermore generally however if...thenin fact it could be argued that moreover most convincingnever not only...but also often secondtherefore third truly typically

Process/Cause

accordingly as a result of because begins withconsequently effects of finally firstfor this reason how to how if...thenin order to is caused by leads/led to may be due tonext so that steps involved thereforethus when...then

Sentence Structures

Use a combination of the below sentence structures to ensure that your writing has sentence variety.

1. "Magic 3" (Three nouns, verbs, etc. and their modifiers)

Example: I could see old Blackie asleep on the sidewalk, 100-year-old pines like sentinels guarding our house, and Claudia playing hopscotch with her friends across the street.

2. Best Noun Absolute (Noun followed by a present or past participle)

Example of present participle: My hands shaking, my voice quivering, I whispered what I hoped to be the one word he wanted to hear.

Example of past participle: Daddy studied me across the dining room table, his glasses lowered, his fork poised midair.

3. Best Participial Phrase (an “-ing” verb used as an adjective)

Example: My arms and legs strained to the tempo, wanting to perfect each and every moment, wanting so desperately to please.

4. "Expanded" sentence using a figurative language device

Example: Always that face and that smell I waited for were Mama as she’d hug me tight to her, Mama and her wonderful smells, like fields of lavender just for me.

5. Sentence that has unusual structure (in other words, not the usual subject/verb pattern).

Example: "One, two, three, four… One, two, three, four," I recalled her voice ringing sharply, clearly, like a familiar expected cadence. (The subject is “I,” and the verb is “recall,” but the sentence does not begin with the subject.)

Use Logos(AKA Logical Appeal):

Appeals to reason by using facts, statistics, research,

and logical arguments.

Use Ethos (AKA Credibility Appeal): Appeals to credibility and

believability of the author and the people quoted.

Use Pathos (AKA Emotional Appeal):

Appeals to emotions, values, and beliefs to support the

author's feelings and passions about the topic (i.e. emotional words, phrases,

and stories).

Are aware of their audienceand spin their information so

that it is relevant to their

audience

Have apurpose and

make sure their audience knows

what the purpose is

(whether is be to persuade

them to believe something or

inform them on something)

GOOD WRITERS/SPEA K ERS:

CITING YOUR SOURCES

Now that you are about to begin writing your paper, you must first learn how to correctly use your sources in your paper. From now on (in high school, college, and beyond), any information you use that comes from another source must be cited both in and after the paper. This means only including a works cited page at the end of the paper is not sufficient. You must also include parenthetical, or in-text, citations after each piece of information you reference.

MLA Parenthetical (In-text) Citation Cheat-Sheet

***PERIODS ALWAYS COME AFTER THE CITATION!!!

How would you cite?

Source

Parenthetical Citation

HARD COPY PRINT SOURCE ONLINE SOURCE

No Author (Book Title 123) or

(“Article Title” 123)

(“Title of Webpage”) or

(“Title of Database Article”)

1 Author (Smith 123) (Smith)

2 Authors (Smith and Jones 123) (Smith and Jones)

3 Authors (Smith, Jones, and Garcia 123) (Smith, Jones, and Garcia)

4+ Authors (Smith et al. 123) (Smith et al.)

Corporation or

Organization

(United States Department of

Education 554)

(United States Department of

Education)

Multiple Sources (Adams 11; Baker 21; Chavez 123) (Adams; Baker; Chavez)

Two Works by the

Same Author

(Adams, “Darfur” 8)

(Adams, “Africa” 9)

(Adams, “Darfur”)

(Adams, “Africa”)

Encyclopedia

(with no author)

(“Global Warming” 559) (“Global Warming”)

Indirect Quote (a quote

that is in a source)

(qtd. in Smith 92) (qtd. in Smith)

“At Issue: Mental Health Insurance.” ProQuest LLC. N.p.: n.p., 2011. N. pag. SIRS Issues Researcher. Web. 21 Nov. 2011.

Balassone, Merrill. “Jails, Prisons Increasingly Taking Care of Mentally Ill.” Modesto Bee 6 Dec. 2010: n. pag. SIRS Issues Researcher. Web. 21 Nov. 2011.

Barrett, Karen E., et al. “The Right to Refuse Medication: Navigating The Ambiguity.” Psychiatric Rehabilitation Journal Winter 1998: 241-254. Print. 21 Nov. 2011. (Fact from page 242)

“The Department of Health and Human Services on Mental Health Issues.” HHS Fact Sheet 13 Dec. 1999: n. pag. SIRS Issues Researcher. Web. 21 Nov. 2011.

Frolander-Ulf, Monica, and Michael Yates. “Teaching In Prison.” Monthly Review July-Aug. 2001: 114-127. SIRS Issues Researcher. Web. 21 Nov. 2011.

World Health Association. “Mentally Ill Suffer Medieval Treatment Worldwide.” Global Information Network 22 July 2011: n. pag. SIRS Issues Researcher. Web. 21 Nov. 2011.

HOW TO CITE in your paperAt the end of a sentence that uses information from a source (whether the information is a direct quote or a paraphrase), you must cite the source in parentheses.

EXAMPLES:

PRINT SOURCE (Books, magazines, newspapers in their traditional form)If You Have an Author’s Name

(Author’s Last Name Page #)o In a recent study, “40% of teenagers admitted to binge drinking” (Smith 4).

If You Have Two Authors’ Names (Author’s Last Name and Author’s Last Name Page #)

o Many studies have demonstrated that teenagers drink heavily. In fact, two out of five teens binge drink (Smith and Williams 4).

If Your Author is an Organization (Organization Name Page #)

o According to Mother’s Against Drunk Driving, almost half of all teens binge drink (Mothers Against Drunk Driving 4).

If You DO NOT Have an Author’s Name (“Shortened Article Title” Page #)

o A lot of teen participate in binge drinking. In fact, 40% have confessed to doing it. (“Drinking and Teens” 4).

ELECTRONIC SOURCE (Anything from the computer)If You Have an Author’s Name

(Author’s Last Name)o In a recent study, “40% of teenagers admitted to binge drinking” (Smith).

If You Have Two Authors’ Names (Author’s Last Name and Author’s Last Name Page #)

o Many studies have demonstrated that teenagers drink heavily. In fact, two out of five teens binge drink (Smith and Williams).

If Your Author is an Organization (Organization Name)

o According to Mother’s Against Drunk Driving, almost half of all teens binge drink (Mothers Against Drunk Driving).

If You DO NOT Have an Author’s Name (“Shortened Article Title”)

o A lot of teen participate in binge drinking. In fact, 40% have confessed to doing it. (“Drinking and Teens”).

Paraphrasing A paraphrase is…

• your own rendition of essential information and ideas expressed by someone else, presented in a new form.

• one legitimate way (when accompanied by accurate documentation) to borrow from a source.

• a more detailed restatement than a summary, which focuses concisely on a single main idea.

Paraphrasing is a valuable skill because…• it is better than quoting information from an undistinguished passage. • it helps you control the temptation to quote too much. • the mental process required for successful paraphrasing helps you to grasp the full

meaning of the original.

5 Steps to Effective Paraphrasing1. Reread the original passage until you understand its full meaning.2. Set the original aside, and write your paraphrase in your notes.3. Check your rendition with the original to make sure that your version accurately

expresses all the essential information in a new form.4. Use quotation marks to identify phrases that you have borrowed exactly from the

source.5. Cite the source!

EXAMPLESource: Lester, James D. Writing Research Papers. New York: Widener, 1976. Print.

The original passage:Students frequently overuse direct quotation in taking notes, and as a result they overuse quotations in the final research paper. Probably only about 10% of your final manuscript should appear as directly quoted matter. Therefore, you should strive to limit the amount of exact transcribing of source materials while taking notes. (Found on page 46)

A plagiarized version:Students often use too many direct quotations when they take notes, resulting in too many of them in the final research paper. In fact, probably only about 10% of the final copy should consist of directly quoted material. So it is important to limit the amount of source material copied while taking notes.

A legitimate paraphrase:In research papers students often quote excessively, failing to keep quoted material down to a desirable level. Since the problem usually originates during note taking, it is essential to minimize the material recorded verbatim (Lester 46).

What makes the first example plagiarized?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Paraphrasing Practice Directions: On a separate sheet of paper, write a paraphrase of each of the following passages. Please include the correct citation information. Try not to look back at the original passage except for the citation information. Use the citation cheat sheet page in your packet for help.

1. “Three-quarters of all Americans recycle at home, making recycling one of the nation's most popular environmental activities. Skeptics argue that recycling does little to help the environment and often costs more than burying waste in landfills, but rising energy prices and concerns about climate change are strengthening the supporters' case. Making new goods from scrap metal, glass or paper uses less energy and generates fewer greenhouse gases than extracting and processing virgin materials. Today the U.S. recycles more than 30 percent of its municipal solid waste, and advocates say that figure could be much higher.” (from page 1033)Source: Weeks, John. “Future of Recycling.” CQ Researcher 17 Dec. 2007: 1033-1060. Print.

2. “The twenties were the years when drinking was against the law, and the law was a bad joke because everyone knew of a local bar where liquor could be had. They were the years when organized crime ruled the cities, and the police seemed powerless to do anything against it. Classical music was forgotten while jazz spread throughout the land, and men like Bix Beiderbecke, Louis Armstrong, and Count Basie became the heroes of the young. The flapper was born in the twenties, and with her bobbed hair and short skirts, she symbolized, perhaps more than anyone or anything else, America's break with the past.” (from page 25)Source: Yancey, Kathleen. English 102 Supplemental Guide. Minneapolis: U of Minnesota P, 1999. Print.

3. “Of the more than 1000 bicycling deaths each year, three-fourths are caused by head injuries. Half of those killed are school-age children. One study concluded that wearing a bike helmet can reduce the risk of head injury by 85 percent. In an accident, a bike helmet absorbs the shock and cushions the head.”Source: "Bike Helmets: Unused Lifesavers." Consumer Reports May 1990: 348. SIRS Issues Researcher. Web. 29 Mar. 2011.

4. “Whether you have morning sickness, motion sickness, or nausea from chemotherapy or radiation therapy, help may be no farther than your refrigerator or kitchen pantry. There are several foods that can help the body mitigate mild to moderate nausea. Pectin is a dietary fiber that occurs naturally in plant cell walls. Fruits such as apples, peaches, plums, and currents are good sources of pectin, as are carrots and potatoes. Ginger, also known as ginger root, is another very powerful plant that works on the digestive tract. So the next time your stomach is feeling queasy, try reaching for a can of ginger ale, or nibbling a gingersnap cookie, an apple, or a carrot.”Source: Greening, Samantha M. “Natural Remedies for What Ails You.” Healthful Todays and Tomorrows 7 Apr. 2005: 21. ProQuest. Web. 29 Mar. 2011.

5. “More teenage drivers are involved in car crashes every year — and more are killed — than any other age group. And the number of deaths is rising, even though overall fatalities of teen drivers and passengers have decreased substantially in the last 25 years. Still, some 6,000 teens die in accidents annually — more than 15 a day. Teens are the least likely age group to use seat belts and the most likely to drink and drive.” Source: Schuster, George, and Melanie Bowen. "Teen Driving." Teenage Issues. 2009. Gale Opposing Viewpoints in Context. Web. 29 Mar. 2011.

USING QUOTESIn most cases, you will be paraphrasing your research. However, there may be a few times you wish to use the exact wording of an article. When you use a direct quote from a source, you must first set it up, this way your reader knows where the quote is from or who said the quote.

EXAMPLES:a. In a recent study, “40% of teenagers admitted to binge drinking” (Smith 4).

b. According to John Smith, researcher at The University of Pennsylvania, “40% of teenagers admitted to binge drinking” (Smith 4).

c. Binge drinking is a problem among teenagers with “40% of teenagers [admitting] to binge drinking” (Smith 4).

d. Researchers conducted a study in which they found that “40% of teenagers admitted to binge drinking” (Smith 4).

e. Too many teenagers are drinking often and heavily as/because/since/for “40% of teenagers admitted to binge drinking” (Smith 4).

However, you must do more than set up the quote. You must also explain the quote.

Do not write: THIS QUOTE PROVES… or

THIS QUOTE SHOWS…

Instead simply explain the quote and why you think it is important or how it is important to your topic.

EXAMPLE #1: In a recent study, “40% of teenagers admitted to binge drinking” (Smith 4). Too many teenagers are taking huge risks with alcohol. They are not simply drinking a beer or a glass of wine; they are drinking five or more beverages in a short amount of time with the purpose of getting drunk fast. This can lead to loss of brain cells, liver damage, addiction, and regretful actions (Smith 6).

EXAMPLE #2: According to John Smith, researcher at The University of Pennsylvania, “more than half of teens admit to sneaking alcohol from their parents’ cabinets with the intention of using this alcohol to get drunk” (Smith 17). Parents need to become more “with-it” and responsible when it comes to the alcohol that is in their house. They should know how many bottles they have and how much alcohol is in those bottles. This will only help to keep teens accountable for their actions and this alcohol maintenance may even save a life.

Your TurnPlease read the examples of how to incorrectly integrate a quote and rewrite a correct version below. Some of the citations may also be incorrect!

School uniforms can even help to save money. “It has been proven that school uniforms save a student, on average, $85.00 a year” (“The Benefits of School Uniforms” 2). A SIRS article

Athletes use steroids because they feel the pressure of having to always perform at the top of their game. “Athletes today more than ever feel the stress of competition, which is why many of them turn to performance enhancers,” said Coach Tom Stanford (Robert Jones page 56).

Texting while driving is an extremely fatal error and can cost teens their lives. “Teenagers are not aware that texting while driving is the leading cause of automobile accidents with many of them being fatal” (Thomas). (from a study done by the Department of Transportation)

L. J. Daniels said, “Teenagers’ brains are not developed enough to understand the severe consequences for their actions. The impulse part of the brain does not develop until 23 years of age. Because of this, the drinking age should at least remain at 21.” (Harkin 54).

Revising and Editing

Revising and editing is an essential step in the writing process. Without revising and editing a piece of writing is

not complete.

Many students rush through this step of the writing process and turn in unfinished and rough pieces of writing and are therefore upset when they receive a low grade. You do not

want that to be you!

Strategies for EditingEven expert writers make writing mistakes. However, expert writers have a few tips up their sleeves that help keep their writing looking professional.

Here are a few tricks of the trade to keep your writing free of errors.

72-Hour RuleWe all know that it’s much easier to spot mistakes in someone else’s writing than in our own. Give yourself at least 2-3 days of mental distance between writing and editing, so that your writing looks a little “foreign” to you. You will catch mistakes much more easily.

Increase the Text SizeThe bigger something is the easier it is to be seen. When editing your writing, change your text size to something much bigger than normal. Mistakes will appear larger than ever.

Read AloudReading your writing aloud allows you to catch mistakes you wouldn’t usually catch when reading silently. Sometimes you need to hear it sound incorrect to catch it.

Reading Backwards To focus on spelling, read your writing backwards, focusing on each word individually. This will allow your eyes to look at each word in isolation, which will allow you to pick up spelling mistakes more easily.

Have Someone Else Proofread Your WritingEven professional writers have proofreaders and editors, so why shouldn’t you? Always have someone else proofread your writing for errors in mechanics and content. “When we re-read our own writing, we usually aren’t reading; we’re reminding ourselves of what we intended to mean when we wrote it.” –Joseph M. Williams

Personal List of ErrorsKnow and keep a list of errors that you make often, so that you know what to look for in your papers.

Focus on One ErrorRead your paper a few times for one of those errors at a time rather than reading your paper once only and trying to catch all of your errors in one pass.

Cover It Up!Use two pieces of blank white paper to cover all but one sentence at a time. This helps reduce visual noise and keeps you from being distracted by other sentences.

The STAR Method for Revising

Substitute Take things out Add RearrangeReplace: Overused words Weak verbs with strong verbs Weak adjectives with strong adjectives Common nouns with proper nouns “Dead” words

Take out: Unnecessary repetitions Unimportant or irrelevant information Parts that might belong in another piece

Add: Detail Description New information Figurative language Development Clarification of meaning Expanded ideas

Rearrange: The sequences to produce a desired effect The order for a more logical flow

EXAMPLE

Original:The orangutan is an amazing animal. They are big, furry and funny. They are very much like humans. I love how they swing from tree to tree.

Substitute:The orangutan is a remarkable animal. They can weigh between 100-260 pounds, are covered with brilliant orange-brown fur, and have quite a sense of humor. They are similar in intelligence to humans. I love how they swing from tree to tree.

Takes things out:The orangutan is a remarkable animal. They can weigh between 100-260 pounds, are covered with brilliant orange-brown fur, and have quite a sense of humor. They are similar in intelligence to humans.

Add:The orangutan is a remarkable animal. They can weigh between 100-260 pounds, are covered with brilliant orange-brown fur, and have quite a sense of humor, often playing tricks and pranks on one another. They are similar in intelligence to humans and are considered, along with chimpanzees, our relatives in the animal kingdom because we share so much of our genetic makeup.

Rearrange:The orangutan is a remarkable animal. They are similar in intelligence to humans and are considered, along with chimpanzees, our relatives in the animal kingdom because we share so much of our genetic makeup. Like many humans, they can weigh between 100-260 pounds and have quite a sense of humor, often playing tricks and pranks on one another. However, unlike most humans they are covered with brilliant orange-brown fur!

The Golden Bricks of WritingWriters' "PIZZAZZ" used to dazzle the reader

Anecdote – A short, explicit story (a story within a story) that helps illustrate the main idea and catches the reader's attention.

Amazing fact – An unusual face that will surprise the readers.

Catchy title - A title that creates interest or arouses curiosity.

Dialogue - This can come in many forms, with or without a tag. It can be a repartee (quick and witty), in vernacular (the language of the people), or just ordinary conversation.

Figurative Language - Personification - describing a non-human using human characteristics

(example: The leaves danced in the wind) Similes - comparisons using "like" or "as" (example: The leaves moved like

dancers) Metaphor - comparisons not using "like" or "as" (example: The green ballerinas

danced in the wind) Alliteration - using a repetition of sound (example: The lovely leaves leapt from

their lofty perch) Hyperbole - An exaggeration not intended to be taken literally Symbol - a thing that stands for something else for abstract Onomatopoeia - words that sound like their meanings (example: pow, bam,

woo hoo) Oxymoron - words put together that have opposite meanings (example: jumbo

shrimp, pretty ugly)

Foreign Language - When a writer knows a bit of foreign language, a commonly known phrase for example, like "Bonjour," it can be very effective.

Hook or Attention Grabber - This is a way of introducing an essay or story that wakes up the reader. This may be a quote, onomatopoeia, a question, a strong-verb sentence, an exclamation or interjection, something humorous, or an anecdote.

Humor - A witty phrase, a short joke, a funny incident that is related to the story or essay.

Imagery - words or descriptions that appeal to the five senses (example: The tangy smell of the pungent salsa permeated the room)

Literary Allusion - Referring to commonly known books is always effective.

Nitty-gritty detail - Detail can come in many forms, but no broad statement should be made without being followed by detail that lets you know about what is in the statement. This can be in the form of a brief story, a description, an anecdote, a list of attributes, etc.

Painting word pictures - Strong, active verbs evoke vivid descriptions that paint pictures in word pictures so clear that the reader has no trouble imagining it in his mind.

Quote – These a direct words from an authority on the subject, an author, a well-known person, or from people the author knows. Make sure to include who the expert is and what his/her qualifications are in regards to the subject.

"Showing, not telling" writing - This technique is used to avoid vague statements like "The girl was frightened." Instead, a frightened girl is "shown" to the reader. (For example: The girl quivered as her knees knocked together, her throat closed up, and her mouth lost all moisture. She could not even scream her terror)

Statistic – A relevant number, ratio, or percentage.

Strong, active verbs - These verbs say, "The cat sprawled in the chair" rather than "The cat was in the chair."

Threading a theme throughout - This would be like the song that identifies the dwarves in Snow White or the web in Charlotte's Web that is mentioned on almost every page.

Strong transitions - Each paragraph must end or begin with a transition that will help the reader bridge the gap between the different main ideas that may appear from paragraph to paragraph.

Zinger - This is the ending that zings the reader do that he is surprised, provoked to think, or made to laugh or cry. This may be a quote, a humorous statement, a call to action, a question, something to make the reader think, a good strong, original simile, or a good wrap-up sentence.

To make your writing effective it is best to use a combination of writers' pizzazz. When revising

your work, check to make sure you used a variety of types.

Use the following descriptive words in place of the typical boring words to spice up your writing.

Instead of said, use: called cried responded demanded asked stated shouted whispered remarked questioned replied exclaimed

Instead of laughed, use: snickered giggled roared chuckled chortled crowed guffawed cackled howled tittered hee-hawed bellowed

Instead of ran, use: hurried raced scurried dashed galloped trotted bolted darted sped jogged sprinted rushed

Instead of walked, use: staggered traveled trudged strutted marched hiked shuffled sauntered lumbered paraded ambled strolled

Instead of saw, use: glimpsed noticed observed sighted spotted stared at glanced at eyed gazed at spied examined watched

Instead of like, use: love admire appreciate fancy adore idolize prefer cherish care for favor enjoy treasure

Instead of sad, use: downcast depressed woeful gloomy sorrowful unhappy dejected forlorn melancholy crestfallen mournful

Instead of pretty, use: beautiful lovely glamorous attractive elegant cute exquisite gorgeous stunning handsome striking fair

Instead of good, use: great pleasant marvelous delightful superior wonderful splendid superb grand terrific Amazing

Instead of little, use: teeny diminutive microscopic petite wee small tiny miniscule miniature slight minute

Instead of nice, use: kind benevolent thoughtful gracious considerate decent congenial agreeable courteous warm cordial humane

Instead of funny, use: farcical jocular amusing humorous witty comical hysterical sidesplitting hilarious laughable silly nonsensical

Instead of big, use: towering huge large great gigantic mammothenormous tremendous massive giant colossal immense

Instead of happy, use: glad jovial jubilant joyful thrilled cheerful merry contented pleased delighted jolly elated

Instead of smart, use: witty bright quick-witted knowledgeable intelligent clever ingenious sharp brainy brilliant gifted wise

Common Writing Errors that Drive Mrs. Ulmer Insane

Here are the common writing rules that I see broken over and over again in student writing:

PUNCUATION

1. Use a comma before a coordinating conjunction only if it comes before an independent clause or is part of a series. (Remember FANBOYS)

YES: Mrs. Ulmer went to Penn State University, but her husband went to La Salle University.

NO: Mrs. Ulmer also went to Holy Family, and got her master’s degree. YES: Mrs. Ulmer loves to read, sing, and garden.

2. Use a comma after dates.

On September 2, 1964, a glorious event occurred.

3. Use a comma to set off an expression, noun, or noun phrase. Mrs. Ulmer's sister, a dietetics major, plans to help feed the homeless one day.

4. Never use single quotation marks unless you are writing a quote within a quote. Many believe in the saying "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth." "John said his mother told him that the train came in 'exactly at 5:00 this

morning.'"

5. Semi-colons should be used sparingly and only to join two complete sentence that are very close in thought.

I love eating ice cream; however, my doctor told me I shouldn't eat it because I do not go to the gym.

6. Punctuation goes inside the quotation marks.

"If see one more period or comma outside a quotation mark, I am going to scream," said Mrs. Ulmer.

"I really, really will."

SPELLING / WORD USAGE

7. Always spell out numbers under 10.

Mrs. Ulmer has one sister and 12 cousins.

8. Check to make sure you use the correct homonym (words that sound alike but are spelled differently). A list of common misused homonyms I see in high school writing are:

its vs. it's two vs. too vs. to their vs. there vs. they're than vs. then no vs. know lose vs. loose accept vs. except (You accept the punishment; Everyone except John was punished) affect vs. effect (You effect someone; Someone has an affect on you)

9. Some words are spelled as one word and some words are spelled using two words.

a lot, NOT alot myself, NOT my self

(The same goes for any variation, i.e. himself, itself, etc.) whenever, NOT when ever wherever, NOT where ever

10. Use their or they only when you are referring to something that is plural. Any student at Hatboro-Horsham High School is allowed to join a club if he or

she wants. (NOT "if they want")

OTHER STUFF

11. Only proper nouns and the first word of new sentences are capitalized.

John loves to work with his dad and uncle in their auto body shop. Mrs. Ulmer works at Hatboro-Horsham High School.

12. Longer or larger works are italicized; smaller works are quoted.

Mrs. Ulmer loves the book The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom.

She also loves the song “Fifteen” by Taylor Swift.

ALWAYS READ YOUR WRITING OUT LOUD! YOU WILL CATCH MORE MISTAKES THAT WAY!