Jessica Ortner: Weight loss. Even the words alone can conjure feelings of hopelessness. Americans spend an estimated $30 billion a year on all types of diet programs and products, yet two-thirds of Americans are still overweight. How can we make this time different? How can we handle this once and for all? If you are ready to take a closer look at this challenge and to finally experience results, then you have come to the right place. We are going to be speaking to Sandi Radomski. Sandi is board certified in social work, a psychotherapist, EFT practitioner, and a naturopathic doctor. Her background includes teaching in a medical school at University of Wisconsin for eight years. She is also the co-creator of the computer program, The Key to Successful Weight Loss. Welcome Sandi. Sandi Radomski: Hi Jessica, nice to be here. Jessica Ortner: Thanks for joining us. Sandi, tell us how you got started with EFT and how it has personally helped you with weight loss. Sandi Radomski: Actually, it started with TFT. I got a brochure from Fred Gallo. It just came in my mail and it sounded absolutely intriguing because I had been doing, always, body oriented psychotherapy, a lot of relaxation training and work like that. I had already learned muscle testing, so I felt very comfortable doing the TFT; and then when I learned about EFT, it was just a match made in heaven and I’ve been doing it ever since. You gave my credentials which were certainly my credentials, but the main credentials for doing this talk in working with weight loss is that I was the fattest kid in school growing up. By second grade I was the shortest and fattest kid in the class. My parents were always over 300 lbs. My brother right now is over 300 lbs. So I have been through every diet plan ever known to mankind. I have been on every plan. I had been dieting since I was in eighth grade, on every diet. Up and down and up and down so no one can tell me anything that I haven’t already experienced about weight loss and the problems and obstacles about it. Jessica Ortner: Like you mentioned, you have experience in so many different techniques. What made EFT so different for you? Sandi Radomski: It was a way to make myself more aware of why I was eating, what I was eating about. It wasn’t just a diet. One of the problems that we all have, every single woman’s magazine if you’re in the grocery store, every cover is about weight loss. Every cover of every magazine every week is about weight loss, and yet, no one is losing any weight. The problem is that we’re eating emotionally. No diet in the world is going to work. Nothing is going to help you lose weight if you’re just mindlessly eating as a way to deal with your emotions, and that’s what I did for most of my life. I knew the diets and when I was really, really strict and really motivated, I could lose the weight and then I’d lose some of that motivation and then emotion would come up, some stress would come up, some trauma would happen and I would just automatically go to the food. So EFT is a way to tackle the emotional part that otherwise isn’t tackled.
Transcript
Jessica Ortner: Weight loss. Even the words alone can conjure feelings of hopelessness. Americans spend an estimated $30 billion a year on all types of diet programs and products, yet two-thirds of Americans are still overweight. How can we make this time different? How can we handle this once and for all?
If you are ready to take a closer look at this challenge and to finally experience results, then you have come to the right place. We are going to be speaking to Sandi Radomski.
Sandi is board certified in social work, a psychotherapist, EFT practitioner, and a naturopathic doctor. Her background includes teaching in a medical school at University of Wisconsin for eight years. She is also the co-creator of the computer program, The Key to Successful Weight Loss. Welcome Sandi.
Sandi Radomski: Hi Jessica, nice to be here.
Jessica Ortner: Thanks for joining us.
Sandi, tell us how you got started with EFT and how it has personally helped you with weight loss.
Sandi Radomski: Actually, it started with TFT. I got a brochure from Fred Gallo. It just came in my mail and it sounded absolutely intriguing because I had been doing, always, body oriented psychotherapy, a lot of relaxation training and work like that. I had already learned muscle testing, so I felt very comfortable doing the TFT; and then when I learned about EFT, it was just a match made in heaven and I’ve been doing it ever since.
You gave my credentials which were certainly my credentials, but the main credentials for doing this talk in working with weight loss is that I was the fattest kid in school growing up. By second grade I was the shortest and fattest kid in the class. My parents were always over 300 lbs. My brother right now is over 300 lbs. So I have been through every diet plan ever known to mankind. I have been on every plan. I had been dieting since I was in eighth grade, on every diet. Up and down and up and down so no one can tell me anything that I haven’t already experienced about weight loss and the problems and obstacles about it.
Jessica Ortner: Like you mentioned, you have experience in so many different techniques. What made EFT so different for you?
Sandi Radomski: It was a way to make myself more aware of why I was eating, what I was eating about. It wasn’t just a diet. One of the problems that we all have, every single woman’s magazine if you’re in the grocery store, every cover is about weight loss. Every cover of every magazine every week is about weight loss, and yet, no one is losing any weight. The problem is that we’re eating emotionally. No diet in the world is going to work. Nothing is going to help you lose weight if you’re just mindlessly eating as a way to deal with your emotions, and that’s what I did for most of my life. I knew the diets and when I was really, really strict and really motivated, I could lose the weight and then I’d lose some of that motivation and then emotion would come up, some stress would come up, some trauma would happen and I would just automatically go to the food. So EFT is a way to tackle the emotional part that otherwise isn’t tackled.
All the books now mention, Dr. Phil mentions that if you are an emotional eater you won’t be able to lose weight. But they’re not talking about the techniques. What EFT does is it makes you aware and gives you a way to deal with the emotions that are running the eating.
Jessica Ortner: I want to hear a little more about your journey. When you started using EFT for weight loss, what did you start on? How do you know where to start?
Sandi Radomski: I basically just started on paying attention to when I was starting to eat and tried to then see what emotion it was that I was trying to cover up. What was happening at that time? And as we all know, if you can do the EFT, the hardest part is remembering to do the EFT, but when we remember to do it, the EFT will get rid of that emotion, it will lessen that emotion. It will dissipate that emotion. And once that emotion was gone, that drive, that need, that, “I have to have it,” feeling was gone.
So it was really awareness of, “What am I doing right now?” and then knowing ahead a way of dealing with it other than trying to use food. We often use food to mask or numb our feelings. The reality is, and it’s unfortunate, but if we eat enough or if we eat fast enough, our bodies don’t feel feelings. We go into numb land. We go into almost a stupor about food. So we lose our sense of commitment. We lose our sense of what we’re trying to accomplish with our eating plan. It gets lost. So we’re just eating to have that awareness.
Jessica Ortner: So let’s start with focusing on this emotional eating. How can we begin to tap on this?
Sandi Radomski: Well, there are all kinds of different ways to tap, even prior to when the emotions are going to come up. Because sometimes the hard part is doing it right at that time. So sometimes we can just tap about how we have in the past done things so that your body is more ready to handle things in the present.
Jessica Ortner: Well, why don’t we do that? You tap and the readers and I will follow along.
Sandi Radomski: So just tapping on the side of the hand, “Even though, in the past, emotions have driven my eating.”
Jessica Ortner: Even though, in the past, emotions have driven my eating.
Sandi Radomski: I know this time can be different.
Jessica Ortner: I know this time can be different.
Sandi Radomski: Even though, in the past, emotions have driven my eating
Jessica Ortner: Even though, in the past, emotions have driven my eating.
Sandi Radomski: I know this time can be different.
Jessica Ortner: I know this time can be different.
Sandi Radomski: Even though in the past emotions have driven my eating.
Jessica Ortner: Even though in the past emotions have driven my eating.
Sandi Radomski: I know this time can be different.
Jessica Ortner: I know this time can be different.
Sandi Radomski: Okay, the eyebrow, “I let emotions drive my eating.”
Jessica Ortner: I let emotions drive my eating.
Sandi Radomski: Side of the eye, “I let emotions drive my eating.”
Jessica Ortner: I let emotions drive my eating.
Sandi Radomski: Under the eye, “I let emotions run my eating.”
Jessica Ortner: I let emotions run my eating.
Sandi Radomski: Under the nose, “I let emotions rule my eating.”
Jessica Ortner: I let emotions rule my eating.
Sandi Radomski: Chin, “I let my emotions control my eating.”
Jessica Ortner: I let my emotions control my eating.
Sandi Radomski: Collarbone, “I let my emotions drive my eating.”
Jessica Ortner: I let my emotions drive my eating.
Sandi Radomski: Under the arm, “I let my feelings rule my eating.”
Jessica Ortner: I let my feelings rule my eating.
Sandi Radomski: Top of the head, “My eating was totally out of control.”
Jessica Ortner: My eating was totally out of control.
Sandi Radomski: Good, and just take a deep breath in and let it out.
Let’s see how that feels for you. If you’re still thinking that’s something for you, you can tap some more on that, but otherwise I’d like to do a positive.
Jessica Ortner: Okay. I have a quick question before we do the positive.
Sandi Radomski: Sure.
Jessica Ortner: I noticed that your setup statement isn’t the traditional, Even though I overeat, I deeply and completely accept myself. Why is that?
Sandi Radomski: You certainly can use the, “I deeply and completely accept myself,” as what I call, a default statement. That always works. And certainly that can be used
every single time I’m doing this. I’ll often interchange that with some of the other choices statements. I’m using the choices statements as sort of created from Pat Carrington. Because I like to get as specific as I can with both the positive statement as well as negative statement.
Jessica Ortner: Great. So let’s go to the positive.
Sandi Radomski: Okay. I’ll even put that one in.
Just at the eyebrow, “I know this time can be different.”
Jessica Ortner: I know this time can be different.
Sandi Radomski: Side of the eye, “I know I can control my eating.”
Jessica Ortner: I know I can control my eating.
Sandi Radomski: Under the eye, “I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Jessica Ortner: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Sandi Radomski: Under the eye, “I know this time can be different.”
Jessica Ortner: I know this time can be different.
Sandi Radomski: Chin, “I know I can control my eating.”
Jessica Ortner: I know I can control my eating.
Sandi Radomski: Good.
And collarbone, “I no longer need to let emotions rule my eating.”
Jessica Ortner: I no longer need to let emotions rule my eating.
Sandi Radomski: Under the arm, “I no longer need to have my emotions tell me when I have to eat.”
Jessica Ortner: I no longer need to have my emotions tell me when I have to eat.
Sandi Radomski: And top of the head, “I know this time can be different.”
Jessica Ortner: I know this time can be different.
Sandi Radomski: And how does that feel?
Jessica Ortner: Wow, it feels great. Sandy, you said we can do this even before we get that feeling like we need to eat something. When do you recommend we do this in our day?
Sandi Radomski: I would almost do this, if emotional eating is one of your problems, I would almost do this as sort of a practice every day when you’re not in that pull to eat. So we can do it before you’re in that, “I have to eat something.” And then you’re more likely be able to stop your eating at the moment of the frantic
eating if you’ve practiced ahead of time. So I’d really do it at a time when you’re not having trouble with eating.
Jessica Ortner: Now, you talk a lot about emotions and how emotions are affecting our over eating and preventing us from losing weight. What are some common emotions that you have found that people have that are struggling with being over weight?
Sandi Radomski: Well, they’re sort of the classic emotions. The first one, the top of the list actually, I see as anxiety, and most people are really eating as their way to handle and manage anxiety. We’re in this society; we’re having so much worry and anxiety so much of the time. Food is one handy thing that is there all the time that can soothe us. It just isn’t good for our health and our look and our self esteem.
I have an interesting story about anxiety. One of the things that I did, that was so classic, that showed the connection between emotions and eating. This was 20-30 years ago. I was on a trip with a man I was dating and I was on an airplane and we were flying back from where we were and I had no idea he was going to do this, but out of the blue, he basically asked me to marry him. And here I am on an airplane. I did not want to marry him. I was like, “Oh my God, I’m stuck on this airplane, I can’t get away.” I was so upset. What happened though, and I laughed about it afterwards, all of a sudden I started saying, “When can I get a cheesecake? Where can I find a cheesecake?” And in my mind, that’s all I was thinking about was, “Where is the closest place? When I get off the plane, where can I find cheesecake?” And all of my attention went to finding that food, finding that cheesecake because I was so anxious about what was going on. Later I laughed so much because it was so obvious that I was trying to deal with my emotions with food, but at the time, I was completely on this mission to get cheesecake. That was my real clear connection there.
So anxiety, anger, boredom, feeling deprived, feeling discouraged, feeling lonely, feeling sad, feeling grief; all of these emotions are common emotions that people feel and we numb them out. We can do some tapping on some of these emotions.
Jessica Ortner: Let’s start. Let’s do it.
Sandi Radomski: Okay, let’s do the anxiety because that’s really probably the basic one. If all you did is know how to manage your anxiety, you could probably manage your eating really, really well.
So, on the side of the hand, “Even though I can’t manage my anxiety without over eating,”
Jessica Ortner: Even though I can’t manage my anxiety without over eating,
Sandi Radomski: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Jessica Ortner: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Sandi Radomski: Even though I can’t manage my anxiety without over eating.
Jessica Ortner: Even though I can’t manage my anxiety without over eating.
Sandi Radomski: I choose to remember my commitment to myself.
Jessica Ortner: I choose to remember my commitment to myself.
Sandi Radomski: Even though I eat whenever I’m nervous.
Jessica Ortner: Even though I eat whenever I’m nervous.
Sandi Radomski: I choose to remember my commitment to myself.
Jessica Ortner: I choose to remember my commitment to myself.
Sandi Radomski: So at the eyebrow, “Can’t manage my anxiety without over eating.”
Jessica Ortner: I can’t manage my anxiety without over eating.
Sandi Radomski: Side of the eye, “I eat whenever I’m nervous.” Jessica Ortner: I eat whenever I’m nervous.
Sandi Radomski: Under the eye, “I keep eating when I’m upset.”
Jessica Ortner: I keep eating when I’m upset.
Sandi Radomski: Under the nose, “Whenever I’m anxious I try to find food.”
Jessica Ortner: Whenever I’m anxious I try to find food.
Sandi Radomski: And chin, “I eat whenever I’m nervous.”
Jessica Ortner: I eat whenever I’m nervous.
Sandi Radomski: Collarbone, “I eat when I’m upset.”
Jessica Ortner: I eat when I’m upset.
Sandi Radomski: Under the arm, “When I’m upset, eating makes me feel better.”
Jessica Ortner: When I’m upset, eating makes me feel better.
Sandi Radomski: Top of the head, “When I’m upset eating makes me feel better.”
Jessica Ortner: When I’m upset, eating makes me feel better.
Sandi Radomski: Good. Take a breath.
So you could continue tapping on just the negative anxiety part, but I like to put the positive.
Jessica Ortner: Okay.
Sandi Radomski: So we can eyebrow, “I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Jessica Ortner: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Sandi Radomski: Side of the eye, “I choose to be calm and confident.”
Jessica Ortner: I choose to be calm and confident.
Sandi Radomski: Under the eye, “I choose to remember my commitment to myself.”
Jessica Ortner: I choose to remember my commitment to myself.
Sandi Radomski: Under the nose, “I know there are other ways to reduce my anxiety.”
Jessica Ortner: I know there are other ways to reduce my anxiety.
Sandi Radomski: Chin, “I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Jessica Ortner: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Sandi Radomski: Collarbone, “I choose to be calm and confident.”
Jessica Ortner: I choose to be calm and confident.
Sandi Radomski: Under the arm, “I know there are other ways for me to calm my anxiety.”
Jessica Ortner: I know there are other ways to calm my anxiety.
Sandi Radomski: Top of the head, “I choose to remember my commitment to myself.”
Jessica Ortner: I choose to remember my commitment to myself.
Sandi, I have a question for you, what would you say to someone who’s tempted to just go straight to the positive and not tap on the negative?
Sandi Radomski: It is tempting, and the problem is that you’re never really bringing up the negative emotion. The whole concept of EFT is based on Chinese medicine and a meridian system and that when you’re thinking about the negative thought, it causes an imbalance in your energy system, and then you continue to think that thought while you stimulate the endpoints of the acupuncture meridians to balance your body in relationship to that thought. If you never bring up the negative, you are never bringing up that imbalance that you’re trying to fix. So it’s imperative to bring up that negative emotion or you’re not really fixing anything.
Jessica Ortner: Do you find that it’s often an emotion that comes from a specific event or just an overall feeling of anxiety?
Sandi Radomski: Both things happen. Certainly when I’m working with people, we’re talking, or in my case I do muscle testing, to find if there are specific traumas, specific past events that have happened that have caused all the anxiety or the anger. Very often I’m tapping on very specific events, but that’s more when I’m in the session and we have a specific event to work with. Oftentimes what happens though, is the person has had many situations that provoked anxiety or many situations that provoked anger and then it gets generalized so that as
soon as that emotion comes to the forefront, they’re trying to find a way to get rid of it. So I kind of do both, both general and the very specific for whatever event is going on in their life.
Jessica Ortner: It’s a good point because starting on this journey of tapping points for weight loss, we might find that in the beginning we’re not even tapping on weight loss at all but on some anxiety that we’re having in our life.
Sandi Radomski: Oh definitely, definitely because that’s what’s running it. The emotions are what are running so much of our eating. It’s just a little difficult, I don’t have an actual person right here to come up with a specific event, but yes, you want to be as specific as possible with the anxiety or what you’re angry at. So often we’re using food so we don’t have to feel our anger, we don’t have to feel our sadness. The EFT is one way to get rid of that anger and get rid of that sadness.
Jessica Ortner: Alright, let’s go to the next emotion to tap on.
Sandi Radomski: Okay. There are so many.
Jessica Ortner: How about boredom? How do you find that boredom affects people in weight loss?
Sandi Radomski: Well, boredom goes along with sort of our habit eating and our triggers for eating because oftentimes it’s television going on means you go and bring some food and you eat watching TV. Or, you’re reading a book and so you eat. Or, if you’re at a social event…
Jessica Ortner: If it was a boring social event.
Sandi Radomski: A boring social event, then you’re over by the food table. In terms of boredom, a lot of it is positional and places and triggers of, “When I do this, when I’m alone at night, when nobody’s there. This will keep me busy, this will keep me entertained. It’ll keep me from having to do something else. If I can eat rather than avoid doing my paperwork, one’s going to keep doing the eating for a much longer period of time. Boredom, it’s sort of fill up the space when you’re alone and nothing else is happening. It fills up our lives, and people need to have other ways to fill up their lives.
Jessica Ortner: Great. Can we do some tapping on boredom?
Sandi Radomski: Sure. On the side of the hand, “Even though I count on food to entertain me.”
Jessica Ortner: Even though I count on food to entertain me.
Sandi Radomski: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Jessica Ortner: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Sandi Radomski: Even though I use food to entertain me.
Jessica Ortner: Even though I use food to entertain me.
Sandi Radomski: I choose to be happy food or no food.
Jessica Ortner: I choose to be happy food or no food.
Sandi Radomski: Even though I eat to avoid something I don’t want to do.
Jessica Ortner: Even though I eat to avoid something I don’t want to do.
Sandi Radomski: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Jessica Ortner: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Sandi Radomski: Okay, and then up to the eyebrow, “I count on food to entertain me.”
Jessica Ortner: I count on food to entertain me.
Sandi Radomski: Side of the eye, “When I’m bored I go to eating.”
Jessica Ortner: When I’m bored I go to eating.
Sandi Radomski: Under the eye, “When I have nothing else to do, there’s always food.”
Jessica Ortner: When I have nothing else to do, there’s always food.
Sandi Radomski: Under the nose, “When I don’t want to do something else, I start to eat.”
Jessica Ortner: When I don’t want to do something else, I start to eat.
Sandi Radomski: And the chin, “I count on food to entertain me.”
Jessica Ortner: I count on food to entertain me.
Sandi Radomski: Collarbone, “I count on food to keep me company.”
Jessica Ortner: I count on food to keep me company.
Sandi Radomski: Under the arm, “Food has been my friend.”
Jessica Ortner: Food has been my friend.
Sandi Radomski: Top of the head, “When nothing else is happening I eat.”
Jessica Ortner: When nothing else is happening, I eat.
Sandi Radomski: Good. And again you could keep tapping on the negatives, and we can also put in the positive...
Which would be on the eyebrow, “I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Jessica Ortner: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Sandi Radomski: Side of the eye, “I choose to be happy food or no food.”
Jessica Ortner: I choose to be happy food or no food.
Sandi Radomski: Under the eye, “I choose to remember my commitment to myself.”
Jessica Ortner: I choose to remember my commitment to myself
Sandi Radomski: Under the nose, “I choose to be happy food or no food.”
Jessica Ortner: I choose to be happy food or no food.
Sandi Radomski: Chin, “I choose to find something else that keeps me interested.”
Jessica Ortner: I choose to find something else that keeps me interested.
Sandi Radomski: Good, and Collarbone, “I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Jessica Ortner: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Sandi Radomski: Under the arm, “I choose to not add to my burden by gaining weight.”
Jessica Ortner: I choose to not add to my burden by gaining weight.
Sandi Radomski: Top of the head, “I choose to not add to my burden by gaining weight.”
Jessica Ortner: I choose to not add to my burden by gaining weight.
Sandi Radomski: Good. How does that feel?
Jessica Ortner: That feels great. And it’s really interesting, I wouldn’t think of boredom as an emotion, but when you do think of it, at least in my past experience, I’ve definitely eaten when I was bored.
Sandi Radomski: Right, when I think about it, to me it was keep walking to the refrigerator, walking away from the refrigerator. Go to the cabinet, and just not being centered on what would be pleasurable other than maybe this food will make me feel better.
Jessica Ortner: Right. The next emotion I want to talk about, I’m very interested in it, is deprivation. A lot of people feel like they don’t even want to start a diet because they don’t want to be deprived of the things that they love. How do we overcome this?
Sandi Radomski: First of all, we do the tapping about not having to be so scared, because in reality, some of why we want our favorite foods is because we numb out so much, we’re afraid we won’t be able to numb out, which isn’t really the healthiest thing to be doing. So we need for people to let go of this fear that their not going to have something that has been a comfort to them before. They need to know there are other comforts.
Actually in terms of food things, besides working on the emotions, I make sure that people know there are things that they enjoy that are okay for them to eat. So I do sort of a two-prong kind of thing where I’m working on, “Yeah this would make you feel not deprived, right?” And we work on that. But we want to get rid of that fear. That fear has been there for a long time. Often, as children, our parents said, “Oh, you’re upset, here’s a cookie, here’s some ice cream.” So it associated the food with comfort. They need to know they have
other ways; they have other skills to comfort themselves. They don’t have to be so frightened.
Jessica Ortner: And does this mean that you can’t still love something? I know you said that some things are good. But I love chocolate. So with tapping on deprivation, do I need to love something less? Do we need to start loving our food less, is basically my question.
Sandi Radomski: I think it’s nice that you have things that you enjoy. It’s when you’re eating it out of control. It’s the over eating rather than the eating. The reality, I’ve often talked about this, is that foodaholics are different that alcoholics. Alcoholics have to totally abstain from drinking their drug of choice. We as people, who might be having trouble with over eating, need to learn to be social eaters. That might include some of these foods, but we’re not going to over eat them. That’s the way we get in trouble. There’s a difference between eating one piece of cheese cake and eating the whole cheesecake.
Jessica Ortner: Right.
Sandi Radomski: There are people who can’t leave the house without a chocolate candy bar in their purse because they’re afraid they may get the craving for it. That’s the kind of connection with chocolate that probably needs to be broken.
Jessica Ortner: Okay
Sandi Radomski: I’m sure that you have found sometimes that you can eat chocolate and you’re happy, you get your chocolate, and you don’t go into an obsession on it.
Jessica Ortner: Okay, so let’s do some tapping on this feeling, this fear and this deprivation.
Sandi Radomski: Right, Okay. Go on the side of the hand, “Even though I’m scared of not being able to eat my favorite food.”
Jessica Ortner: Even though I’m scared about not having to be able to eat my favorite food.
Sandi Radomski: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Jessica Ortner: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Sandi Radomski: Even though I’m scared of (put your own food in)…Even though I’m scared of not eating chocolate, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Jessica Ortner: Even though I’m scared of not eating chocolate, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Sandi Radomski: Even though I’m scared I’ll be deprived of my chocolate,
Jessica Ortner: Even though I’m scared I’ll be deprived of my chocolate,
Sandi Radomski: I choose to be calm and confident.
Jessica Ortner: I choose to be calm and confident
Sandi Radomski: Eyebrow, “Scared of not eating my chocolate.”
Jessica Ortner: Scared of not eating my chocolate.
Sandi Radomski: Side of the eye, “Don’t take the chocolate from me.”
Jessica Ortner: Don’t take the chocolate from me.
Sandi Radomski: Under the eye, “Afraid of never being able to eat chocolate again.”
Jessica Ortner: Afraid of never being able to eat chocolate again.
Sandi Radomski: Under the nose, “Don’t ever want to give up chocolate.”
Jessica Ortner: Never want to give up chocolate.
Sandi Radomski: Chin, “Afraid of feeling deprived.”
Jessica Ortner: I’ll feel so deprived, I’ll feel terrible.
Sandi Radomski: Under the arm, “Afraid of never having chocolate again.”
Jessica Ortner: Afraid of never having chocolate again.
Sandi Radomski: Top of the head, “It’s too hard.”
Jessica Ortner: It’s too hard.
Sandi Radomski: Let’s keep doing that on the eyebrow. “Too hard to give up chocolate.”
Jessica Ortner: Too hard to give up chocolate.
Sandi Radomski: Side of the eye, “Afraid to give up chocolate.”
Jessica Ortner: Afraid to give up chocolate.
Sandi Radomski: Under the eye, “It’s too hard.”
Jessica Ortner: It’s too hard.
Sandi Radomski: Under the nose, “Why bother? It’s too hard.?
Jessica Ortner: Why bother? It’s too hard.
Sandi Radomski: Chin, “It’s just too much for me.”
Jessica Ortner: It’s just too much for me
Sandi Radomski: Collarbone, “I’ve never been able to give it up before, I can’t give it up now.”
Jessica Ortner: I’ve never been able to give it up before, and I can’t give it up now.
Sandi Radomski: Under the arm, “Afraid I won’t be able to give it up.”
Jessica Ortner: Afraid I won’t be able to give it up
Sandi Radomski: Top of the head, I’m afraid of being deprived.
Jessica Ortner: Afraid of being deprived.
Sandi Radomski: Deep breath.
Jessica Ortner: So we can replace that with any food?
Sandi Radomski: We can replace it with any food. I was just using that because you said something about chocolate. It could be ice cream. It could be my cheesecake. It could be bread if you’re trying not to eat bread, or pasta. It could be any food that you get that feeling of “Oh my gosh, don’t take it away from me,” because I get that a lot. People will come in and say, “Oh, don’t say I can’t eat that.”
Jessica Ortner: And what you’re saying is that you can eat it, but now you’re eating it in moderation and you’re not dependent on it.
Sandi Radomski: Exactly. You’re not having to have it or you feel like something bad is going to happen. In fact you can eat it moderately. Sort of like the Buddhist tradition, “Everything in moderation.”
Jessica Ortner: Okay. Great. Now let’s talk about discouragement. Because like I said in the intro, it’s a billion dollar industry, this weight loss. A lot of times when people try to lose weight they have tried so many different things, and yeah, you feel discouraged at the end of the day. Why bother start because it never works.
Sandi Radomski: Right. What’s happened is that because the focus of all of these books mainly has just been, “This is the food you’re supposed to eat.” It has made people very discouraged. What people need to realize is that now we’re tackling something that hasn’t been tackled before. We’re looking at the emotional part. Because you can line up everybody buying all these new books, these new diets and say basically, “Do you know how to eat?” And basically people know they shouldn’t be eating half gallons of ice cream and whole bags of potato chips and going to McDonalds every day. People already know that. What they don’t know is how to control their emotions best. So, let’s work on the discouragement.
Jessica Ortner: Okay.
Sandi Radomski: And what I would do is have them rate on a scale of 0-10 how discouraged they feel. Actually, I would often have them rate on a scale of 0-10 how possible do they think it is that they’re going to be successful this time. Then during the treatments I keep checking in about how possible on a scale of 0-10 this could be for them. So getting rid of discouragement would be one way to feel more positive.
Jessica Ortner: Okay.
Sandi Radomski: Okay, so tapping on the side of the hand would be, “Even though nothing ever works for me,”
Jessica Ortner: Even though nothing ever works for me,
Sandi Radomski: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Jessica Ortner: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Sandi Radomski: Even though I feel nothing ever works for me,
Jessica Ortner: Even though I feel nothing ever works for me,
Sandi Radomski: I choose to know this time can be different.
Jessica Ortner: I choose to know this time can be different.
Sandi Radomski: Even though nothing ever has worked for me,
Jessica Ortner: Even though nothing ever has worked for me,
Sandi Radomski: I choose to know this time can be different.
Jessica Ortner: I choose to know this time can be different.
Sandi Radomski: Okay up to the eyebrow, “Nothing has ever worked for me before.”
Jessica Ortner: Nothing has ever worked for me before.
Sandi Radomski: Side of the eye, “I feel discouraged.”
Jessica Ortner: I feel discouraged.
Sandi Radomski: Under the eye, “I feel like it’s never going to happen.”
Jessica Ortner: I feel like it’s never going to happen.
Sandi Radomski: Under the nose, “I feel like I’m never going to get to my goal weight.”
Jessica Ortner: I feel like I’m never going to get to my goal weight.
Sandi Radomski: Chin, “Nothing ever works for me.”
Jessica Ortner: Nothing ever works for me.
Sandi Radomski: Collarbone, “I feel so discouraged. It doesn’t matter what I do.”
Jessica Ortner: I feel so discouraged. It doesn’t matter what I do.
Sandi Radomski: Under the arm, “I’ve failed so many times, why should I bother?”
Jessica Ortner: I’ve failed so many times, why should I bother?
Sandi Radomski: Top of the head, “I’ve failed so many times, why should I bother?”
Jessica Ortner: I’ve failed so many times, why should I bother?
Sandi Radomski: Eyebrow, “Nothing ever works for me.”
Jessica Ortner: Nothing ever works for me.
Sandi Radomski: Side of the eye, “I’ve failed so many times.”
Jessica Ortner: I’ve failed so many times.
Sandi Radomski: Under the eye, “I feel so discouraged.”
Jessica Ortner: I feel so discouraged.
Sandi Radomski: Under the nose, “Diets work for others, but not for me.”
Jessica Ortner: Diets work for others, but not for me.
Sandi Radomski: Chin, “I’ve failed so many times.”
Jessica Ortner: I’ve failed so many times.
Sandi Radomski: Collarbone, “None of these diets work for me.”
Jessica Ortner: None of these diets work for me.
Sandi Radomski: Under the arm, “What’s the use?”
Jessica Ortner: What’s the use?
Sandi Radomski: Top of the head, “What’s the use?”
Jessica Ortner: What’s the use?
Sandi Radomski: Good. And now let’s put some of the positive in.
On the eyebrow, “I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Jessica Ortner: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Sandi Radomski: Side of the eye, “I choose to know this time can be different.”
Jessica Ortner: I choose to know this time can be different.
Sandi Radomski: Under the eye, “I choose to know this time is different.”
Jessica Ortner: I choose to know this time is different.
Sandi Radomski: Under the nose, “I’m approaching this in a very different way.”
Jessica Ortner: I’m approaching this in a very different way.
Sandi Radomski: Chin, “This time is different.”
Jessica Ortner: This time is different.
Sandi Radomski: Collarbone, “Now I know how to control my emotions.”
Jessica Ortner: Now I know how to control my emotions.
Sandi Radomski: Under the arm, “I’m calm and confident that this time is different.”
Jessica Ortner: I’m calm and confident that this time is different.
Sandi Radomski: Top of the head, “I’m calm and confident that this time is different.”
Jessica Ortner: I’m calm and confident that this time is different.
Sandi Radomski: [Deep breath] How does that feel?
Jessica Ortner: It feels great. It really does.
Sandi Radomski: Good.
Jessica Ortner: Now in the workbook, we have a few other emotions that we won’t have time to tap on, but I’d like to kind of just go over them and hear your thoughts about them. So, loneliness; how does loneliness play a part?
Sandi Radomski: Well loneliness goes along with what we were talking before about using food to comfort you; using food as your friend, using food to feel like you have company, you have someone there. People even often talk about some of their favorite foods as their friends that they can count on to always feel good with. So when you’re doing EFT with someone about the loneliness driving their eating, you also have to do EFT for the other issues going on in their lives.
Jessica Ortner: And how about sadness?
Sandi Radomski: Sadness, again, is using food for comfort; using food to feel connected. Really what we’re looking for is basically love, joy, connectedness in our lives. We have been misguided in using food as a way to comfort ourselves. Because some of the foods actually give us endorphins and make us momentarily feel better, we tend to use food to comfort us. But with sadness, like loneliness and some of the other emotions, we really need to use EFT to help you deal with what caused the sadness and how to move on with that. So you need to work on the specific areas in your life that are causing these problems and you need to work on the specific connection with the food.
Jessica Ortner: It’s so interesting because we’re always taught that it’s about getting the right workout plan or the right food plan.
Sandi Radomski: And it’s not. It really doesn’t work. Everybody who’s failing in their diet, if they had to take test right now and were told to say what they should be eating, they would know exactly what to eat. It’s getting people to be able to do it. And EFT is the most effective thing I know to get people to be able to not let their emotions run them.
Jessica Ortner: What do you think the importance is to have positive choice statements?
Sandi Radomski: Well I love them because I love the way it feels. It sometimes gives a different twist on things so that for myself, personally, I will often just during my day use the positive choice statement, that I have already tapped in, as affirmations. So that for me it becomes part of my daily practice as I’m going through my day that I’m saying those positive statements to myself. The one that I have really used a lot that I haven’t mentioned here yet…I guess I came up with this when I was teaching in Europe two years ago and there were all these wonderful bakeries everywhere and wonderful food everywhere, and I was being bombarded with so many things that I wanted to eat, and I came up with my statement which was, “Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.” And I would use that as my positive statement, but I would also just use it as a mantra, as almost a positive affirmation. And that was really helpful.
Jessica Ortner: It’s funny you brought that up because there are nine here in the workbook and that’s the one I read and said, “Wow! That’s powerful stuff.”
Sandi Radomski: That’s one I use all the time. So, “Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.” For me it puts it in perspective of, “I might want to eat this thing, but really I love it when I look the way I want to look.”
Jessica Ortner: That’s great. So all you listeners, you can go to the workbook and see a lot of different positive choice statements that Sandi has given us.
The other question I have is about limiting beliefs. How do the beliefs we have about ourselves affect our weight?
Sandi Radomski: In my practice I actually find that the limiting beliefs probably block our weight loss more than anything. They are again, emotion, but they are very limiting concepts about the consequences of losing weight, about how we fit in the world, of who we are, that are so deeply imbedded. People are often just not in real alignment with their being okay with losing weight. They say they want to lose weight. They read all the books. But when you really talk to them, or again in my case I do a lot of muscle testing, they’re not in alignment. They’re not totally on board with losing weight. So often you ask people, “What happened last time you lost weight?” Sometimes they’ll say, “I got a divorce. My mother died. All these men were flirting with me.” Things that they were uncomfortable with, which in some ways are blocking them now from losing weight. Oftentimes you want to look at what happened when you gained weight. Did you lose your job? Did you break your leg? What was going on that is associated with the weight?
So you want to know what the downsides are for losing weight or the upside is for staying at the weight. What I find fascinating when muscle testing is that I have people maybe who need to lose 100 lbs, maybe 150 lbs, and if I muscle test them, “I’m okay with weighing…” Sometimes even 10 lbs less; their bodies are not okay with that. They’re in fear about losing weight. So the limiting beliefs that I’m looking at mainly are safety, possibility and deserving. We want to be sure that someone feels safe losing weight. We also want them to feel that it’s possible for them to lose weight. And you want to feel that they deserve to lose weight.
The first one, the safety one is probably the biggest issue. So many people have had bad past experiences, unfortunately when they’ve been thin. For women, it’s they’re afraid of men having interest in them, men pursuing them. Maybe people have even had bad traumas when they looked like that; they got too much attention. People are afraid of other’s jealousy; their friend’s jealousy, their sister’s jealousy, their mother’s jealousy. And some people actually have expectations that if they’re thin they’ll be expected to be a success. If they’re thin, they’ll be expected to do more on their job.
People need to be in a completely safe place.
Jessica Ortner: Let’s talk about the possibility.
Sandi Radomski: Possibility, that’s another huge issue. Like myself, I grew up in a family where everyone was fat, and so you had this belief that “Well, I’m going to be fat.” Really in my family, it was like you got the fat genes, there was nothing you could do about it. And so people just feel like they’re resigned, there’s just no possibility. They can’t really lose weight. Nothing’s worked for them in the past, the genetics are against them. Their family history is against them. So they don’t feel it’s a problem. When you don’t really feel it’s possible, you’re really not going to give it a good old college try. You need to be in alignment of knowing that it’s totally possible for you to be the weight you want to be.
It’s totally possible for you to live your dream.
Jessica Ortner: So when tapping with this, we’d say things like, “Even though I’ve always been fat. Even though all my family members are fat.” What are some other ones that are common?
Sandi Radomski: “Even though I have failed before. Even though I’ve lost weight and then gained it back. Even though I’ve always been this way. Even though I’ve been told by my family that this is my lot in life.” All of those kind of things.
Jessica Ortner: What’s interesting about this too is that I think people will start to recognize that these thoughts are beliefs. For many it seems like a fact.
Sandi Radomski: That’s what the possibility is, they feel like it’s a fact that they’re going to fail and then there’s no possibility. Our bodies are very powerful. If you really have the belief that it’s not possible for you to lose weight, you probably won’t. You just probably won’t, because you won’t have that commitment to really try.
Jessica Ortner: How about deserving this? This seems to pop up all the time with EFT.
Sandi Radomski: Well, when you don’t feel like you deserve something, you probably also won’t get it. You need to have a feeling that you deserve it, you’re worthy. You’re good enough to be able to be the weight you want to be. When you’re working with specific people, you may need to work on those specific issues where they feel ashamed or guilty about anything they’ve done in the past. They’re often so ashamed of how they look. They just feel so discouraged because they feel so ashamed that they don’t feel like they deserve it. Or they feel ashamed that they’ve binged on food in the past. Or they feel ashamed that they sneaked food in the past so they don’t feel like they deserve it. They need
to know that they can forgive themselves. They are forgiven. This time is different. They’re good enough and worthy enough to really fulfill their dreams.
Jessica Ortner: Can you go through some of the even thoughs for deserving this?
Sandi Radomski: Sure. “Even though I feel guilty about ___________. Even though I’ve regained my weight so many times before. Even though I’ve binged on food. Even though I’ve sneaked food. Even though I’m ashamed of how I look.” All of those would be the negative statements.
And you could do, “I deserve to love how I look,” as a positive statement. Another would be, “I deserve to take care of myself.” And, “I deserve to know this time is different.” And I love this, “I deserve to be elegantly slender. I deserve to care enough about myself to eat on my plan.” A lot of it is deserving to have your commitment. Honor your commitment to yourself.
Jessica Ortner: Sandi, earlier you talked about how when we’re kids a lot of times we’re given food as a reward or as a comfort to feel better. How does that mentality of viewing food as an award impact our ability to lose weight?
Sandi Radomski: Well, we need to separate what you want a reward for from the food. There can be rewards other than food. I grew up that all the rewards in my family were food, every single time. That was the only way people showed love. It was the only way people interacted. I remember we went to Las Vegas one time and my father won $20,000. We didn’t buy furs. We didn’t buy diamonds. We went and ice cream sundaes.
We need to break that connection. There are other ways to reward ourselves other than food. You could do, “Even though I eat when I want a reward, I choose to find other non-food celebrations.” It’s important for people to know there’s something other than food that can make them feel good. So, “Even though I feel I deserve food when I’ve worked hard, I know there are other ways to feel good.” Another one, “Even though I feel entitled to eat when I’m tired, I have other ways to increase my energy.” It’s really knowing there’s an alternative to food.
Jessica Ortner: That’s great. You’re giving us a lot of stuff to tap on. This is wonderful. Here’s another one. What about the cravings, the physical cravings for things?
Sandi Radomski: Well cravings are the perfect thing for EFT. I’m sure if people have taken any of the EFT classes, I know I often do this, I’ll often do an introduction in the beginning about how it’s so easy to use EFT to get rid of a craving for a food. I bring all this food and put it up in front and then have people come up; and we hold the food and we smell the food and then we tap for it. The EFT has just been a miracle for helping with the craving. What I’ve been doing is having people, not just in that one demonstration in the class, but actually start using the EFT tapping for preventative care, for cravings for different foods.
Actually right now, Carol Look, Pat Carrington, and I are finishing up a CD all about craving, What we have is many, many, many gorgeous, appetizing, beautiful pictures of all the types of food you could ever have, ever want. You can tap along with it. It’s been so amazingly successful. What you’ll have in
your workbook, I’m going to be including six, beautiful, appetizing pictures, so that while you’re doing your workbook tapping, you can look at these pictures and tap along with the picture. So in your workbook I’ll have things like pizza, chocolate ice cream, cake, muffins, those kinds of things. What we found is that we’re tapping on each of the points. You can do the traditional EFT tapping, but we’ve also found that one thing we can do on each EFT point starting at the eyebrow is, “Even though I crave this,” I’m just going to put chocolate because that’s your craving. I want you to think about chocolate, and on a scale of 0-10, how much do you crave it right now?
Jessica Ortner: Well right now because it’s early, not much, but I can tell you after lunch it’s like a ten.
Sandi Radomski: And you know what kind of chocolate you want and everything like that?
Jessica Ortner: Yes. There’s this organic black chocolate square things, which aren’t really that bad, but the thing is, it bothers me that I really crave that after lunch. I don’t really want to have that craving.
Sandi Radomski: Right. It’s nice to say, “Okay, this is my dessert.” But that’s different than…
Jessica Ortner: Than feeling that I need it.
Sandi Radomski: That need to feed is that thing that we want to no longer have.
Jessica Ortner: Alright.
Sandi Radomski: So can you imagine that need to feed your chocolate.
Jessica Ortner: Yes I can.
Sandi Radomski: Okay, so I want you to go to your eyebrow, “Even though I crave this chocolate, I choose to pass it by for now.”
Jessica Ortner: Even though I crave this chocolate, I choose to pass it by for now.
Sandi Radomski: Side of the eye, “Even though I crave this chocolate, I choose to pass it by for now.”
Jessica Ortner: Even though I crave this chocolate, I choose to pass it by for now.
Sandi Radomski: And we’re going to do the same thing on every point.
Under the eye, “Even though I crave this chocolate, I choose to pass it by for now.”
Jessica Ortner: Even though I crave this chocolate, I choose to pass it by for now.
Sandi Radomski: Under the nose.
Jessica Ortner: Even though I crave this chocolate, I choose to pass it by for now.
Sandi Radomski: Good. Chin.
Jessica Ortner: Even though I crave this chocolate, I choose to pass it by for now.
Sandi Radomski: Collarbone.
Jessica Ortner: Even though I crave this chocolate, I choose to pass it by for now.
Sandi Radomski: Good. Under the arm.
Jessica Ortner: Even though I crave this chocolate, I choose to pass it by for now.
Sandi Radomski: Top of the head.
Jessica Ortner: Even though I crave this chocolate, I choose to pass it by for now.
Sandi Radomski: Good. So if you think about this chocolate right now after lunch, how does it feel?
Jessica Ortner: You know the biggest difference is that you said for now. That really made me feel, “See, I can have it sometimes, but I don’t need it.”
Sandi Radomski: Exactly. That was the reason that I used those words. Because it’s not going into the deprivation, you’ll never have it again. Probably one of the thoughts you’re having is, “I don’t have to have it right now,”
Jessica Ortner: Yes.
Sandi Radomski: “I can have it some other time. I don’t have to have it right now.” And if you can break that connection, that, “I don’t have to have it right now,” that means that need, that craving, that urgency, that have to have it right now is gone.
Jessica Ortner: Do you find that the body physically reacts? There are some times I feel like I physically have a craving, that it’s a physical craving and I think I’m going to guess that I’m not the only one out there in the world. Do you find that your body responds to EFT this way?
Sandi Radomski: It’s a physical craving because the food actually has changed your physiology, but the EFT changes physical things as well as emotional things. So, when you do this, right now you don’t have the same physical sensation even thinking about after lunch.
Jessica Ortner: That is true. And it kind of shows that it’s not just in you head really. It’s your whole body responding.
Sandi Radomski: Your whole body changes, but what’s beautiful about EFT is that it deals with both the physical and the emotional. So it does take away the physical sensation. We often feel like we’re feeling hunger or that physical need, and we’re really not. If we do the EFT for some of the emotions or some of this craving, it goes away. If it was really a physical need of your body, like a need for vitamin C, somehow chocolate isn’t that. If it really was a physical need that your body was saying, “I can’t survive without this,” it wouldn’t go away with tapping, but it does.
Jessica Ortner: That’s interesting. So even though we think it’s a physical need, it’s not.
Sandi Radomski: It’s not. It feels like it because our body is pushing us to eat. But the EFT can really let go of that.
Jessica Ortner: We’ve really gone through a lot from the emotions to limiting beliefs to cravings. When we’re starting, where do we know what to do first?
Sandi Radomski: Well, you start looking at yourself about what does seem to be pushing your eating. It sounds like for you, a big issue is craving this chocolate and craving different food. That may be where you start. If for somebody else, it’s like stepping back and watching the situation; watching that you’re eating as a way, mainly because you’re tired and you want to eat. Is it boredom eating? Is it eating because you’re really angry at your husband and you don’t want to have a fight? It’s stepping back enough to watch what seems to be causing the problem. So it’s observation of that, and also really doing that looking at yourself about if you really feel safe, possible and deserving to lose weight because if those limiting beliefs are still in place, it’s going to be very hard to be successful.
Jessica Ortner: When we think of weight loss, usually there’s the food side and then there’s moving our butts and working out. Do you find that’s something that we have to work on, or are people just getting a lot of results just with letting go of emotional eating?
Sandi Radomski: My feeling is that exercise is necessary but not sufficient. I’ve just seen too many people who go to the gym, they’re at the gym, and they’re working out. They’re doing everything, and it’s just not enough.
In fact, I gave a talk on EFT and talked a lot about weight loss and had two people in the audience who were owners of Curves – Curves places where people exercise, and they came up to me and they said, “You know, we really need this. We’ve got all these people coming in and they think it’s enough to just exercise. And it’s not.” And they knew that they needed the emotional piece. And this was Curves. These are people whose whole livelihood is based on the exercise. So the exercise is necessary but not sufficient.
Jessica Ortner: Okay. Talk a little bit about if we’re doing this tapping and say we’re not getting the results. You also talk about there being two other reasons why we can fail to lose weight. Can you talk about those?
Sandi Radomski: Sure. The emotions need to be taken care of first of all. As we said, if you’re doing emotional eating, there’s no way you’re going to be able to be successful, but I have had people who have been able to control their emotional over eating and they’re really eating on a plan that you would think people would lose weight. For those people I then look at how allergies and hormones can affect their weight loss. One of the things that I’ve seen, and EFT works wonderful for it, is if your body is allergic to certain foods, your body will hold on to water weight in order to try to dilute the poison that it thinks that food is. Grains are usually the worst culprits. For some people it’s wheat or oats or corn. Even if you’re eating it in a proper amount, the body sees them as poisons and will hold on to water weight, will hold on to bloat and fat so you don’t lose weight. Sometimes we need to look at some of the foods, use EFT to get the body to be okay with those foods, and then their body is able to lose weight.
Also, what I’ve found is that there are imbalances in our hormones. And the hormones I’m talking about would be leptin, insulin and ghrelin, which are not the most well-known hormones, but they’re the ones that control our eating. And for people who have controlled their emotional eating and are eating on a plan but it still doesn’t seem to work, what I’ve found is that if they eat on a certain timing, so a certain number of hours between meals, even if they’re eating the same amount of food or even more food, if they’re eating on certain timing, their bodies balance their hormones and they don’t have so many struggles around the weight loss. And many people have been successful with that. And again, I use EFT to help you stick to that kind of timing plan.
So there are lots of different ways to use EFT.
Jessica Ortner: Well I have to say, before people jump the gun and blame it overly on allergies and hormones, try the emotional stuff first.
Sandi Radomski: Emotions have to be first, because we can do all the things with the hormones and the allergies. We can do all the work with them, and if you’re eating emotionally, nothing’s going to work. The first thing that has to be done, this is just after the emotions have been taken care of. The primary issue is always the emotions. The emotions are what run our eating.
Jessica Ortner: Sandi, thank you so much for this interview. It was very enlightening.
Sandi Radomski: Well, this was fun. Thank you for having me.
