Mesothelioma ChangesRelationships and Roles

By Dana NolanLicensed Mental Health Counselor

Relationships/Roles

The many “hats” we wear in life:

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Student

Spouse/partner

Child

Parent/grandparent

Friend

Boss/Employee

Niece/nephew

Aunt/uncle

Volunteer

Neighbor

Transitions and Changes in Roles

Every day we are many things to different people:

Mother, boss, wife, friend, sister, etc.

With practice, we transition through these different parts with little effort or awareness that

we are switching roles.

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A Mesothelioma DiagnosisCreates New Roles

You and your loved ones adjust to being Patient & Caregiver.

Expectations:Yours, Your loved ones’ and Society’s

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How are these expectations formed?

How exactly should a mesothelioma patient feel and behave?

Strong and confident? | Scared and withdrawn? | Be a warrior?

Adjusting to a New Role

Different phases of life usually lead to shedding old roles and adapting to new ones.

Think back to when you had to transition into a new role? Becoming a parent for the first time, getting your first job after school or retiring.

How do we do this? Who defines our roles

and the way we should behave and feel in this role?

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The Patient Role

Effects of mesothelioma or its treatment may mean patients may have to let go or cut back on some responsibilities related to their roles.

Examples: A patient may have to limit or quit working to release themselves of the employee role.

A patient may not have the energy to babysit their young grandchildren anymore, which can lead to the patient feeling unable to fulfill their role as a grandparent.

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The Patient Role (cont.)

Is there a right way to be a mesothelioma patient?

What are the challenges of adapting to a more dependent role?

Common Roles: Fighter | Business-as-usual | Realist | Quiet One

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Caregiver RoleWhen caring for a loved one, adjusting to the role of caregiver can feel overwhelming for many reasons.

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Feeling responsible for household duties the patient can’t complete.

Keeping track of medications, appointments and treatment plans.

Conduit of information between patient, their friends and family.

Potential Struggles of Adjusting to Roles

Patient and caregiver must clarify

their needs and abilities.

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The patient must determine what kind and how much support - practical and emotional - they want and ask for it.

The caregiver needs to determine type and amount of support they can give and communicate that to the patient.

Conflict arises between patients and caregivers when there are assumptions about someone’s needs, duties and feelings.

Suggestions

Everyone adjusts to the role of caregiver and patient differently. There is no “right way” to be a patient or a caregiver… just YOUR way.

Don’t be pressured to be the kind of patient or caregiver who someone expects or says you should be.

Focus on your needs, communicate them and ask for help when you feel overwhelmed.

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Conclusions

Many patients and caregivers need some time to adjust to their new roles when coping with a diagnosis of mesothelioma.

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Clarifying our own needs and what we can or can’t do as patients and caregivers

opens the opportunity to discuss how to adjust to these changing roles.

Contact Information

1-800-615-2270

(800) 615-2270