The Parrot November 2010

The Gulf Coast’s Favorite Source For Entertainment• November 2010

Inside: Local Guides • Lots of Great Jokes • Live Music • Events

Page 2 November 2010 The Parrot

The Parrot November 2010 Page 3


Hello Parrot Peeps! We have missed you this summer and now we are looking forward to catching up with everyone again!! Just so you know I do keep up with you on my I-Pad, but I can’t wait to get my hands on the real deal! See you soon!Darla and Dave S.- Punta Gorda, FL / Cleveland, OH

Dear Parrot Staff, I love you guys! You are the best!! This was too funny, my daughter 8, loves The Parrot ( Beaker) when she saw the cover she was so upset. She thought he had fallen down and cracked his head open! I have to take much of the fault for that, I always tell her

don’t run around the pool, you will fall down and crack your head open! But I did explain to her that the bird was fine and it was just his Halloween costume. Looking forward to seeing you all! Jody N. North Port

Dear Staff, I picked up a copy of your publication at the Days Inn in Port Charlotte, I must say it is quite enjoyable! What a surprise to see the bartender of the month was right next door. We had to stop in, and she was a delight! I have to follow you via website when I return home.Much luck to you and yours, Caroline, Salem, CT

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The Parrot ContentsNovember 2010

PublisherRobert RandolphRobert@sw�parrot.comKristen RandolphKristen@sw�parrot.com

EditorTrey [email protected]

Art DirectorLedgeledge@sw�parrot.com

Sales Sta�Jim KieferJimK@sw�parrot.comAlicia FarmanAlicia@sw�parrot.com

IT Director Robert RandolphRobert@sw�parrot.com

PhotographersJack GrayJackG@sw�parrot.comKristen RandolphKristen@sw�parrot.comThe Sneaky PhotographerSneaky@sw�parrot.com

Featured WriterMayor Gonzo Mays Honorary Mayor, Key West

Contributing Writers Charlotte LanierJennifer A. HuberMichael VasherTravis Claytor Dean HensonJack GrayJohn WrightSherry Swartz S.P.H.C.

Distribution Mark RizzoMarkr@sw�parrot.comLetitia Rizzo Tishr@sw�parrot.com

Beat The

FRIZZ with our

InsideIncoming 4Mayor Gonzo MaysHonorary Mayor, Key West 8Bartender of the Month 12CHPHC 13Out & About 14Visitors Bureau 17Live Band Schedule 20Featured Band 22Jimmy Buffett 23Punta Gorda Chamber 26SBPHC 31TBPHC 32Tampa Bay & Co 34Parrot Events 36Parrot Scopes 38

MESSAGE BOARD

Happy Turkey-Day Greetings To All Our Parrot Peeps... And to all our Happy Snow Birds, Greetings & Welcome Back To You Too!

We are now in the middle of what we like to call "Festival Season" in SW FL... There's so much going on along the Suncoast this time of year... Every weekend another event! The weather is inviting, and the evenings just perfect! So take some time to get up, get out there, and enjoy it...

We like to take a moment this time each year to say a Special Thanks to our readers, sponsors, advertisers, and everyone who makes living in SW Florida truly wonderful... This is a fabulous community and we are proud to be part of it!

Thanks To You All, The Parrot Staff


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PLACIDA ROTARY BRINGS FALL FESTIVAL TO OYSTER CREEEK S

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For those who love antiques, collectibles and local crafts the festival is for you. Dress casual, enjoy the weather and atmo-sphere and help the Placida Rotary and our local merchants make this festival, “Second to None.”

Englewood – On Satur-day, November 6th and Sunday, November 7, 2010 from 10:00AM to 5:00 PM, both days, the Placida Rotary will host the first ever community minded Fall Festival at Oyster Creek Park, located at 6767 San Casa Drive, Englewood, F l o r i d a .

The message of the two day festival is that com-munity family fun and fellowship is paramount. Admission to the event is $4.00 per person, children under 12 free. Parking will also be free.

November 6th & 7th PLACIDA ROTARY BRINGS FALL FESTIVAL TO OYSTER CREEEK


GOTTA LOVE DRUNK PEOPLEA man and his wife were awak-ened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on thedoor. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunk-en stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.‘Not a chance,’ says the hus-band, ‘it is 3:00 in the morning!’He slams the door and returns to bed.‘Who was that?’ asked his wife.‘Just some drunk guy asking for a push,’ he answers.‘Did you help him?’ she asks.‘No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain outthere!’ ‘Well, you have a short memory,’ says his wife. ‘Can’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!’The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the poundingrain. He calls out into the dark, ‘Hello, are you still there?’‘Yes,’ comes back the answer.‘Do you still need a push?’ calls out the husband (soaking wet)‘Yes, please!’ comes the reply from the dark.‘Where are you?’ asks the husband..’Over here on the swing!’ replied the drunk.

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor’s dog.It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, “I’ve had enough of this”.She goes downstairs. The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says “The dog is still barking, What have you been doing?” The blonde says,

“I put the dog in our backyard, let’s see how THEY like it!

My neighbor found out that her dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the vet-erinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog’s ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some “Nair” hair remover and rub it in the dog’s ears once a month The lady went to the store and bought some “Nair” hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist told her, “If you’re going to use this under your arms, don’t use deodorant for a few days.” The lady said, “I’m not using it under my arms.”The pharmacist said, “If you’re using it on your legs, don’t shave for a couple of days.”The lady replied, “I’m not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I’m using it on my Schnau-zer.” The pharmacist says, “Well stay off your bicycle for about a week.”

I just had a call from a Char-ity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to kiss my butt. Anybody who fits into my clothes isn’t starving.

Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to dis-cuss their options. One was an Alcoholic, one was a Chain-Smoker, and one was a Homosexual. The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, “If any of you in-dulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die.” The men left the doctor’s office; each convinced that he would never again indulge him-self in his vice. While walking to-ward the subway for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar. The Alcoholic, hearing the

Twisted Humor


Ahhh, another perfect day to stop and stir the grits and smell the azaleas. I went back home to the Gulf of Mexico’s Redneck Riviera, to visit family over a long weekend recently when I heard Jimmy Buffett was in town visiting his sister LuLu. Now, let me tell you, LuLu, is one hell of a fine cook and thankfully, the woman is also hospitable enough to open up her kitchen to visitors. Being that LuLu’s seafood gumbo is a power-ful aphrodisiac, I thought about getting myself some, so with my trusty photog-rapher and drinkin’ bud-dy, Elbows T. Mumbler at the helm, I launched my ‘66 Boston Whaler into the dark green waters of Weeks Bay, just northwest of Gulf Shores, Alabama and headed over to the Buffett’s for Sunday dinner. As we leisurely made our way under the massive limbs of ancient moss cov-ered oaks, past charming antebellum homes gracing the azalea-lined river bank, the seductive whiff of Chic-ory coffee and bacon frying made my stomach growl. “Enough of this meander-ing!” I barked from the bow as I popped open a couple of cans of ice cold Dixie Beer, “Let’s high tail it to LuLu’s!”Elbows wasted no time opening up the engine and kickin’ up a rooster tail. Hanging on to my bever-age with one hand and my hat with the other, we were coming up on LuLu’s pretty damn fast when I spotted a rainbow of carnations float-ing like water lilies in the cool brackish water under the bridge ahead. Elbows quickly cut the engine so I could pluck a stem from the beautiful bay garden. “Where in the world do you think these come from?” El-bows pursed his grey whis-kered lips and mumbled a logical scenario, “Aw some Bitch probably just tossed them off the top of the

bridge ‘cause she was mad at her boyfriend.”Whatever the case, I cer-tainly wasn’t about to let those pretty little petals go to waste. I captained El-bows to carefully maneuver my 13’ Whaler from flower to flower so I could gather each scattered beauty from the bayou. Musta been over two dozen carnations in all, and with the baby breath and leather leaf fern, that was one huge bouquet!A short while later, we docked at Lu Lu’s and trekked barefoot through the white hot sand, making our way to the shelter of

the thatched-roof bar with my too-huge-not-to-notice bouquet in hand. We ordered two Sunday morning specials: “Four-You-Hit-the-Floor Cadillac Margaritas” on the rocks, of course, with salt. They were so good we ordered an-other and another and an-other. Halfway through the fourth round, Elbows got a real bad feeling. Seemed like all the other customers were staring at us and not in a real good way. “Aw, shut-up Elbows and quit mumbling before your ice melts,” I said licking the salt off my high octane

Cadillac Margarita. Hell if I cared. I was having way too much fun tapping my toes in the sand and singing along to some acoustic player’s rendition of Cheeseburger in Paradise, waiting for my gumbo and oyster ‘Po Boy to arrive. I was having a ball and get-ting drunker by the minute when Lu Lu Buffett sud-denly took the stage and asked for a brief moment of silence in memory of her dear friend who had on that very day, eight-years ago, died in a plane crash right there in Weeks Bay. Elbows and I exchanged wide-eyed nervous glances and then we both looked down at that damn too-huge-not-to-notice bouquet of carnations lying there on our table. Not good. Not good at all. I summoned the courage and meekly peeked up at the crowd and my worst nightmare was staring back at me. Every single person in the house, including Lu Lu, had drawn a bead on that too-huge-not-to-notice bouquet, the memorial flowers that had been dropped into the wa-ter in honor of the beloved fallen pilot. Elbows began singing an al-most imperceptible refrain of Lynyrd Skynrd’s “Give Me Three Steps” when ev-erything went fuzzy…

Mayor Gonzo Mays a.k.a Sammie Mays is the Honor-ary Mayor of Key West and the fabulous Florida Keys. Mayor Gonzo is an award winning writer and author of the notable new holiday family classic “Pirate Night Before Christmas.” Says Robert Randolph, Publisher, Parrot Enter-tainment Maagzine, “Pirate Night Before Christmas is the most refreshingly origi-nal story I have ever had the pleasure of reading aloud. A classic is born!” To order your family’s copy please visit www.Pirat-eChristmas.Net and avoid the holiday rush.

Damn the Carnations Full Speed Ahead!!!By Key West Honorary Mayor Gonzo Mays

The Parrot November 2010 Page 9The Parrot May 2010 Page 9

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loud music and smelling the ale, could not stop himself. His bud-dies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whis-key. No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead. His companions, somewhat shaken, left the bar, realizing how seri-ously they must take the doctor’s words. As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning The Homosexual looked at the Chain-Smoker and said, “You know if you bend over to pick that up, we’re both dead.”

Why can’t you take a turkey to church?Because they use such FOWL language

Did you ever wonder why ear-rings became so popular with men? A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-work-er is wearing an earring. The man knows his co-worker to be a nor-mally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense” The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings.” “Don’t make such a big deal, it’s only an earring,” he replies sheepishly. His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, “So, how long have you been wearing one?” “Ever since my wife found it in my

truck.”

The Divorced Barbie Doll One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, ‘How much for one of those Barbie’s in the display window?’ The salesperson an-swers, ‘Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Bar-bie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95’. The amazed father asks: ‘It’s what?! Why is the Divorced Bar-bie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?’ The annoyed salesper-son rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: ‘Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken’s Car, Ken’s House, Ken’s Boat, Ken’s Furni-ture, Ken’s Computer, and one of Ken’s Friends.

BOB & THE BLONDE Crazy Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10 pm news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building prepar-ing to jump. The blonde looked at

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Bob and said, “Do you think he’ll jump?” Bob said, “You know, I bet he’ll jump.” The blonde replied, “Well, I bet he won’t.” Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, “You’re on!” Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very up-set, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying, “Fair’s fair. Here’s your money.” Bob replied, “I can’t take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 pm news, and so I knew he would jump.” The blonde replied, “I did too, but didn’t think he’d do it again.”Bob took the money...

You know you’re a Floridian if ...Socks are only for bowling. You never use an umbrella be-cause the rain will be over in five minutes. A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade. Your winter coat is made of denim. You can tell the difference be-tween fire ant bites and mosquito bites. You’re younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65. Anything under 70 degrees is chilly. You’ve driven through Yeehaw Junction. You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix. Every other house in your neigh-

borhood had blue roofs in 2004-2005.You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn’t worth waking up for. You dread love bug season. You know what a snowbird is and when they’ll leave. You think a six-foot alligator is ac-tually pretty average. ‘Down South’ means Key West Flip-flops are everyday wear. Shoes are for business meetings & church, but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before. You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt. You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls. A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level. You know the four seasons really are: hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season & sum-mer. You’ve hosted a hurricane party.You can correctly pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee , Withlacoochee , Thonotosassa and Micanopy.

You understand why it’s better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself. You were at least 25 years old when you first met someone who couldn’t swim. You’ve worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas and New Years. You recognize Miami-Dade as ‘ Northern Cuba .’

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GabrielHome Town: Detroit, MI

Home Town: Chicago, ILBar: Siesta Key Oyster Bar (SKOB) How long have you been there? 61/2 yearsWhat do you like about this place? I like the people and returning vacationers, they become friends.What do you do in your spare time? I go �shing and I’m on a dart league.What is your favorite drink? The next one! (Whatever comes next!) Use one word to describe your bar. Its unique. What kind of music do you listen to? “LIVE” What was the most memorable time at work? I would say when Hurricane Charlie hit Friday the 13th. The power was out on the whole island except here. We were doing kick stands and hula hoop. We had the Feeder Band dancers going. It was quite an experience. That was just one time out of many…..When is a good time to come see you? Wed – Friday nights

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Written by Charlotte Lanier aka Charlie Rose

Hey Charlotte Harbor Parrotheads, what tiiiiiime is it? It’s time party. That’s if you’re heading down to Key West for our annual Parrothead convention, anyway. Yours truly is looking forward to it as I’ve not been on the rock for a couple of years now. And, our Holiday Party will be held on Sunday, Dec. 19th from 2:00-7:00 at Visani’s. It will cost current club members $20.00 and non-club members $25. This includes your meal and the pleasure of dancing to Jimmy Parrish and the Ocean Waves Band. In addition we will have a Chinese raffle for a whole bunch of cool area gift baskets. We will also be collecting for Toys for Tots. You must be registered to attend this party, so please call Willis & Carol at 475-8993 or e-mail [email protected] to register. No gate crashers, please!!

At our meeting on Oct. 12th we had Capt. Josh providing our entertainment, and a Halloween costume contest. Josh premiered his new CD Whitecaps & Nitecaps, and the bar even made a drink in his honor. Amanda Alberts & George Jurco won the contest (congrats), but I saw a picture of Brenda & Rick and they looked pretty

cute, too (yours truly started a new job and had to miss this meeting…hopefully the last one). Sally York won the raffle and volunteers Donna Ricci and daughter Elise along with Dan

Burgjohann were our hosts for the meeting. Thanks to everyone for volunteering and playing along.

We are having a few special off-site happy hours at Pineapple’s and Johny’s but those were in late October so stay tuned next article to see how those turned out, along with the stories from Key West…there are always a few doozies. And the club is holding a business meeting in November, so be sure to check your e-mails for specifics.

And, seems like some folks aren’t aware of all the tabs on our website. Just wanted to mention that under the Membership tab you can find birthdays for the current month, folks who renewed in the last two months, folks who are due

to renew and folks that joined the club during the last month. Be sure to check it out. www.chphc.com

Our next meeting is November 9th. We’ll be collecting food and supplies for needy families, along with the usual pop-tops, Cans for Jan and prescription bottles for the animal shelter.

Otherwise that’s it for now. Our website is www.chphc.com. If you want to join this crazy club you can print out an app and mail it or join us at the next meeting, the second Tuesday of the month at the Coral Rock Tiki Bar (NE corner of Kings Hwy & US41). Some folks start getting there around 5:30, and the “official stuff” starts around 6:30. Hope to see you there. And remember, “Wrinkles only go where the smiles have been”.

Photos by Kristen Randolph our Second Parrot

Drive By Shooting

Thanksgiving History:The first Thanksgiving was celebrated between the Pilgrims and the Indians in 1621.That first feast was a three day affair. Life for the early settlers was difficult. The fall harvest was time for celebration. It was also a time of prayer, thanking God for a good crop. The Pilgrims and the Indians created a huge feast including a wide variety of animals and fowl, as well as fruits and vegetables from the fall harvest.

Today, most of us enjoy Turkey with “all the trimming”. The “trimming” in-clude a wide variety of foods that are a tradition for your family. Those tradi-tional foods often replicate the foods at the first Thanksgiving feast. While others, are traditional ethnic or reli-gious groups recipe, or a special food item that your family always serves at Thanksgiving dinner. Then, to top it off, pumpkin pies, apple pies, an even mince meat pies are bountiful around the table.

Did you know? Potatoes were not part of the first Thanksgiving. Irish immi-grants had not yet brought them to North America.

After the first Thanksgiving, the observance was sporadic and almost forgotten until the early 1800’s. It was usually celebrated in late September or October. In 1941, Congress made it a national holiday and set the date as the fourth Thursday in November.


Melissa Strickland and the fam at Will’s Honkey Tonk for her bene�t

Stop in, Sunday mornings open at 7 :00 Portside Tavern

The Parrot party cart stops by Lock n’ Key

Mercer’s Fresh Roasted Co�ee

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Downtown Punta Gorda Farmers Market every Saturday

Cocopolloza 2010 and The Parrot �y again!

Stop and say “hi” to Charles!


Melissa Strickland and the fam at Will’s Honkey Tonk for her bene�t

Stop in, Sunday mornings open at 7 :00 Portside Tavern

The Parrot party cart stops by Lock n’ Key

Mercer’s Fresh Roasted Co�ee

the best in town!

Downtown Punta Gorda Farmers Market every Saturday

Cocopolloza 2010 and The Parrot �y again!

Stop and say “hi” to Charles!

Kim and her team raised almost $2,000.00 for Breast Cancer Research

Lisa & Mark at Visani’s Comedy Club

Party with the Parrot at Lock n’ Key Daughtry in concert at Jannus Live in St. Pete

La Florida Fest in Englewood

Rianna and her rowdy pirate friends

Photos by, Rianna Perry

The Dave Miller Bene�t & Poker Run


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Notice something different in Charlotte Harbor & the Gulf Islands these days? If you’re out on the water or look up in the sky you’ll probably catch a glimpse of a magnificent bird and Southwest Florida’s favorite seasonal resident, Pelecanus erythrorhynchos (the American white pelican).

These amazing birds can weigh in at 30 pounds and have a wingspan almost reaching 10 feet. They spend their summers in the Northwestern United States and Canada and like their human counterparts, these snowbirds spend winter in the warmer climes of Southwest Florida. If you’re unfamiliar with these snow-white birds, don’t worry, they don’t usually cause traffic jams.

To celebrate their return several businesses in the area are extending white pelican specials. For instance, take a two-hour kayaking adventure with Phoenix Rising Kayak Tours to celebrate return of the white pelicans and receive a 20% discount between Nov. 15 and Dec. 15, 2010, (www.prkayak.com, Tel: 941-586-2836).

Pies & Plates in Punta Gorda is serving up a special treat called White Pelican Gooey Butter Cake (containing banana, caramel and coconut and trust us, no bird!). Mention the “American White Pelican” between Nov. 15 and Dec. 15, 2010, to receive a free gooey butter

cake with purchase of an entrée and beverage. (www.piesandplates.com, Tel: 941-505-7437, 2310 Tamiami Trail).

Vacation packages celebrating the glorious birds with kayaking and boating trips along with other discounts from local businesses can be found at charlotteharbortravel.com.

Congratulations to the Tampa Bay Rays

We are very proud of the Tampa Bay Rays earning title of American League East Champions. We are even prouder to be called their spring training home. The boys of summer will be taking a break over the next few months but before you know it, they’ll be back in town at Port Charlotte’s Charlotte Sports Park to begin training for the 2011 season. It’s not too early to begin thinking of spring training so check out raysbaseball.com and

register to receive email updates about spring training.

Gain Some Sustainable Living during the Green Futures Expo & Energy Options Conference, Nov. 12 & 13Building on last year’s success, the Green Futures Expo & Energy Options Conference returns to Charlotte County for a two-

day expo complemented with a conference. The Green Futures Expo is a tradeshow highlighting products and services to make sustainable living a bit easier. The expo includes hands-on activities for children and adults. The event is scheduled for Nov. 12 & 13 at the Charlotte Harbor Event & Conference Center in Punta Gorda. Visit http://www.charlottecountyfl.com/BCS/GreenFutures/ for more information.

Allegiant Air Expands Flights In and Out of Punta Gorda Airport

Here’s good news if you’re looking to invite friends down to Charlotte Harbor & the Gulf Islands. Allegiant Air has expanded air service in and out of Punta Gorda Airport! In addition to twice weekly roundtrip flights to Knoxville and Greenville/Spartanburg, beginning in mid-November you can now fly to Lexington, Grand

Rapids and Greensboro. Visit www.allegiantair.com for flight schedules and affordable introductory fares.

Direct Air will resume their full flight schedule in November, too. Check out www.visitdirectair.com for a list of cities and flights.

A host of activities are happening in Charlotte Harbor & the Gulf Islands this month. Be sure to visit www.charlotteharbortravel.com for a complete list of things to do and see.

Celebrate Return of the Original Snowbirds

Charlotte HarborVisitor & Convention Bureau


Can be found Every Saturday Morning at the

Punta Gorda Farmers Market& Sundays at The

Farmers Market on Shreve St.or

Come to our Store6:30 Am - 4:30 PM

Can be found Every Saturday Morning at the

Punta Gorda Farmers Market& Sundays at The

Farmers Market on Shreve St.or

Come to our Store6:30 Am - 4:30 PM

127 E. Charlotte StreetPunta Gorda, Fl 33950941.286.7054

Mercers’ Coffee Corner

Organics vs. Traditional

This month I want to touch base on the organics vs. traditional coffee. These coffees make up only about 1-2 % of the specialty coffee market. Organic coffee is frequently presented to the consumer as product whose purchase will right many wrongs, all at the same time. Packaged with social, political, and agriculture is-sues all together with too many shades of gray. The process for certified coffees is operated by a number of independent agencies, and each agency have different require-ments. And there are some general requirements involved. Initial visits, farm education in composting and natural methods of pest control with regular inspections to make sure guidelines are followed. All of these methods have a special place in the market, and I take nothing from these. However, when it comes to the total sum of Arabica coffees, (specialty coffee, gourmet coffees), however you want to title them, are all grown in mountainous regions at altitudes of 4000 to 6000 ft of above sea level. Daytime temps are in the 70’s and the night time temps are much cooler. Outbreaks of fungus and insects are not as likely. Now take coffee that is grown in places like Africa, Ethiopia and Arabia. These coffees are grown entirely without the use of pesticides or chemical fertilizers basically because they are unaffordable, or not available. In Indonesia coffee is a cash crop grown along side other proposed crops on small family farms, all primarily organically grown.Pride is very evident on these small family owned farms. These crops are very precious, as well as important to the welfare of growers and his family, and no one wants it to be ruined. So, regardless of what sort of coffee you buy, there is very little reason to be concerned about pesticide or other residues ending up in the cup. Very little of what is applied will ever make it through the layers of the coffee cherry to the coffee bean. After the processing of the bean and then roasted at such high temperatures before ever even reaching the bag eliminates that possibility.

The discussion regarding these two processes could go on, but then look at all of the good coffees you could be missing out on. Until next month, HAPPY BREWING

Expires 11/30/10 Expires 11/30/10

GRAND PRIZE 4 ROUNDTRIP TICKETS ON SPIRIT AIR!

(ValidÊforÊdomesticÊandÊinternationalÊflightsÊÊ~ÊValuedÊupÊtoÊ$1600.00)Ê

$100 buy-in Prizes for everyone at the final table! Plus a consolation drawing for those that don’t make the final table.

Re-buys and add-ons will be available Can play in event without going to Cattle Barons

“ALL IN BONUS!” -$25 in “Baron Bucks” to use at various stations (Silent Auction, wine bottle toss, dessert auction, etc) if playing in tournament and attending Cattle Barons

Drinks and light appetizers served while playing in tournament Pre-registration is strongly suggested, seating is limited

CONTACT LISA BLANCHARD AT 941-916-5629 OR 941-575-4550 TO REGISTER OR CALL THE AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY OFFICE AT 941-627-3000

ALL PROCEEDS WILL GO TO BENEFIT THE

AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY

NOVEMBER 13, 2010 AT THE CHARLOTTE COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS Start time 5:30 sharp (Cattle Barons begins at 7:00)

Early birds get the loot! Go “All-In” this year….and help

“eliminate” cancer come early and play Texas Hold ‘Em,

then enjoy the rest of your evening at THE Cattle BaronS BALL

(Cattle Barons Ball includes dinner, drinks, and entertainment at an additional cost �ask for details)

Ê


The Punta Gorda Pub Trail

Explore the

Send in photos of yourself and friends in any of these pubs to [email protected], the best will be printed in next months issue! Have fun!! Be safe!

"See You At The Ray!"

follow us on facebook to receive free offers & promos

Entertainment Tuesday - SaturdayDJ George every Tues

Kapo Kings every Wed

The Crashers every Thurs

Frid & Sat tbaLate night menuHappy hourFood & drink specials

130 Tamiami TrailPunta Gorda, Fl.

941-575-6100

deanssouthoftheborder.net

Drive…Ride….Walk…Crawl…


Monday 1st

Charlie K. – Woody’s Waterside ~ 6pmTuesday 2nd

Kenny Rose – Waterside Grill ~ 6-9pmWednesday 3rd

Gary & Kerri – Bert’s Bar ~ 7:30pmKenny Rose – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 6-10pmBeau & Becca – Waterside Grill ~ 6-9pmKettle of Fish – SKOB ~ 7-11pmThursday 4th

The Crashers Trio – Dean’s South of the Border ~ 7:30-11:30pmAcoustic Pete – SKOB ~ 7-11pmFriday 5th

Tropical Ave. – Portofino ~ 7:30-11:30pmFour Bones – Harpoon Harry’s ~ 9-MidThe Crashers – Slip-Not ~ 8-MidMaxMcCann & the Displacements – Benedettos ~ 8-MidImpulse – Stump Pass Grille ~ 6-10pmBandana – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 7-11pmBeau & Becca – Waterside Grill ~ 7-10pmBen Hammond – SKOB ~ 2-6pmSwamp Donkie – SKOB ~ 8-MidThe Yard Dogs – Miceli’s ~ 6:30pmBen Prestage – Five O’Clock Club

~ 5-7:30pmBootleg - Five O’Clock Club ~ 10pmSaturday 6th

DooWop Denny – Saltwater Café ~ 7-10pmHightide – Sharky’s on the Pier ~ 8pmTropical Ave. – White Elephant Pub ~ 7-11pmFour Bones – Harpoon Harry’s ~ 9-MidFremont John – Stump Pass Grille ~ 5-8pmShawn Brown – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 7-11pmNick Levalley – SKOB ~ 1-5pmMike Tozier – SKOB ~ 8-MidAl Fuller – Five O’Clock Club Sunday 7th

MaxMcCann – Lido Beach Resort ~ 12-4pmMaxMcCann – Brewski’s ~ 6-9pmJeff Hughes – Lido key Tiki Bar ~

3-7pmChris Otto – SKOB ~ 7-11pmMonday 8th

Ryan Stroh – SKOB ~ 7-11pmCharlie K. – Woody’s Waterside ~ 6pmTuesday 9th

Motown Tribute Show – Visani’s Comedy Theater ~ 7:30pmKenny Rose – Waterside Grill ~ 6-9pmNoel – SKOB ~ 7-11pmWednesday 10th

Tropical Ave. – Coral Rock Café ~ 7pmJim Morris – Nav-A-Gator ~ 6-9pmMaxMcCann – Sharky’s on the Pier ~ 6-10pmFinger Mullets – Englewoods on Dearborn Beau & Becca – Waterside Grill ~ 6-9pmKettle of Fish – SKOB ~ 7-11pmThe Yard Dogs – Bert’s Bar ~ 6:30pmThursday 11th

The Crashers Trio – Dean’s South of the Border ~ 7:30-11:30pmSwamp Donkie – Nav-A-Gator ~ 6-9pmMaxMcCann – The Faull Inn ~ 5-8pmAcoustic Pete – SKOB ~ 7-11pmFriday 12th

Cindy Walsh – Bubba’s Roadhouse ~ 8:30-11:30pmGary & Kerri – Dean’s South of the Border ~ 8-MidSunny Jim and Skeet Mavis – Farlows on the Water ~ 6:30-10:30pm

Latitude – Nav-A-Gator ~ 6-9pmTropical Ave. – Portofino ~ 7:30-11:30pmThe Crashers – Sharky’s on the Pier MaxMcCann & the Displacements – Benedettos ~ 8-MidBoomtown Express – Harpoon Harry’s ~ 9-MidCharlie Morris Band – Stump Pass Grille ~ 6-10pmBoca Bande – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 7-11pmBeau & Becca – Waterside Grill ~ 7-10pmSwamp Donkie – SKOB ~ 2-6pmBen Hammond – SKOB ~ 8-MidThe Cherry Bombs – Five O’Clock Club ~ 10pmPaul Galestro – Five O’Clock Club ~ 5:30-7:30pmSaturday 13th

DooWop Denny – Saltwater Café ~ 7-10pmGary & Kerri – Bert’s Bar ~ 7:30pmJack Mosley – Benedettos ~ 8-MidJohn Reno – Nav-A-Gator ~ 2-5pmTropical Ave. – Coral Rock Café ~ 8:30-12:30amJimi Pappas – San Antonio Festival ~ 8pmMaxMcCann & the Displacements – Brewski’s ~ 9-1pmBoomtown Express – Harpoon Harry’s ~ 9-MidMarty Moss – Stump Pass Grille ~ 5-8pmJamband – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 7-11pmNick Levalley – SKOB ~ 1-5pmMike Tozier – SKOB ~ 8-MidThe Yard Dogs – Woody’s Waterside ~ 2pmThe Boneshakers – Five O’Clock Club ~ 10pmSunday 14th

John Frinzi – Nav-A-Gator ~ 2pmThe Crashers – Charlotte Harbor Event Center ~ 4-7pmTropical Ave. – Charlotte Harbor Event Center ~ 4-7pmCheeky Monkey - Charlotte

November

Live MusicSchedule

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Harbor Event Center ~ 4-7pmMaxMcCann – Lido Beach Resort ~ 12-4pmChris Otto – SKOB ~ 7-11pmMonday 15th

Maurice LoMonoco – Visani’s Comedy Theater ~ 7:30pmRyan Stroh – SKOB ~ 7-11pmCharlie K. – Woody’s Waterside ~ 6pmTuesday 16th

“Roy Orbison” Tribute by Mike T. – Visani’s Comedy Theater ~ 7:30pmKenny Rose – Waterside Grill ~ 6-9pmNoel – SKOB ~ 7-11pmWednesday 17th

Kenny Rose – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 6-10pmBeau & Becca – Waterside Grill ~ 6-9pmKettle of Fish – SKOB ~ 7-11pmThursday 18th

The Crashers Trio – Dean’s South of the Border ~ 7:30-11:30pmGary & Kerri – Lock N Key ~ 7-10pmAcoustic Pete – SKOB ~ 7-11pmFriday 19th

Tropical Ave. – Sharky’s on the Pier ~ 8-MidMaxMcCann – Stump Pass Grille ~ 6:30-9:30pmSlick Willy – Harpoon Harry’s ~ 9-MidKenny Rose – Waterside Grill ~ 7-10pmBen Hammond – SKOB ~ 2-6pmSwamp Donkie – 8-MidCharlie K. – Bubba’s Roadhouse ~ 8:30pmStar 80 – Five O’Clock Club ~ 10pmSaturday 20th

DooWop Denny – Saltwater Café ~ 7-10pmJack Mosley – Benedettos ~ 8-MidHightide – Lock N Key ~ 8pmTropical Ave. – White Elephant Pub ~ 7-11pmJim Morris – Nav-A-Gator ~

2-5pmSlick Willy – Harpoon Harry’s ~ 9-MidThe Yard Dogs – Stump Pass Grille ~ 3-6pmGypsy – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 7-11pmNick Levalley – SKOB ~ 1-5pmMike Tozier – SKOB ~ 8-MidMy Friend Scott – Five O’Clock Club ~ 10pmSunday 21st

Cindy Walsh – Ragged Ass Saloon ~ 3-6pmGary & Kerri – Bert’s Bar Latitude – Nav-A-Gator ~ 2-5pmTropical Ave. – Crystal Classic Sand Sculpture/Siesta Beach ~ 3-5pmChris Otto – SKOB ~ 7-11pmMonday 22nd

Ryan Stroh – SKOB ~ 7-11pmCharlie K. – Woody’s Waterside ~ 6pmTuesday 23rd

Kenny Rose – Waterside Grill ~ 6-9pmNoel – SKOB ~ 7-11pmWednesday 24th

Hightide – Sharky’s on the Pier ~ 7pmFinger Mullets – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 6-10pmBeau & Becca – Waterside Grill ~ 6-9pmKettle of Fish – SKOB ~ 7-11pmThe Yard Dogs – Bert’s Bar ~ 6:30pmThursday 25th- HAPPY THANKSGIVING The Crashers Trio – Dean’s South of the Border ~ 7:30-

11:30pmAcoustic Pete – SKOB ~ 7-11pmFriday 26th

Hightide – Farlows on the Water ~ 7pmTropical Ave. – Portofino ~ 7:30-11:30pmMaxMcCann – CrowsNest ~ 9-MidBoogiemen – Harpoon Harry’s ~ 9-MidLip Service – Stump Pass Grille ~ 6-10pmCoastal Jamz – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 7-11pmKenny Rose – Waterside Grill ~ 7-10pmSwamp Donkie – SKOB ~ 2-6pmBen Hammond – SKOB ~ 8-MidThe Cherry Bombs – Five O’Clock Club ~ 10pmSaturday 27th

DooWop Denny – Saltwater Café ~ 7-10pm

Jack Mosley – Benedettos ~ 8-MidHightide – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 7-11pmTropical Ave. – Slip-Not ~ 8pmThe Crashers – Slip-Not ~ 8-MidSwamp Donkie – Nav-A-Gator ~ 2-5pmMaxMcCann – Lido Beach Resort ~ 6-10pmBoogiemen – Harpoon Harry’s ~ 9-MidBeau & Becca – Stump Pass Grille ~ 5-8pmNick Levalley – SKOB ~ 1-5pmMike Tozier – SKOB ~ 8-MidThe Boneshakers – Five O’Clock Club ~ 10pmSunday 28th

Gary & Kerri – Nav-A-Gator ~ 2-6pmMaxMcCann – Lido Beach Resort ~ 12-4pmJeff Hughes – Lido key Tiki Bar ~ 3-7pmChris Otto – SKOB ~ 7-11pmMonday 29th

Ryan Stroh – SKOB ~ 7-11pmCharlie K. – Woody’s Waterside ~ 6pmTuesday 30th

Ken McBride ”Himself” – Visani’s Comedy Theater ~ 7:30pmKenny Rose – Waterside Grill ~ 6-9pmNoel – SKOB ~ 7-11pm

Live MusicSchedule

November

CAPTAIN KIRK'S CHRISTMAS TOURS

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subsequently cursed them with a spell so vile, merely to repeat its name is to reduce your tongue to cinders inside your very head. Here the story breaks off...

For years, scholars of the ancient world wondered what became of this lost nomadic tribe. Theories a b o u n d e d

about the group’s involvement in historical events from The Siege of Troy, to The Sacking of Rome, to the Fall of Pompeii, to the Sinking of Atlantis; these have since been dismissed, however, as parlor quackery. Then, In 1922, at a dig in the desert south of Tunis, after hearing the unlikely thumping of music, albeit muffled, emanating

This month’s Feature Band, “Here Come The Mummies”, have been kicking up sand for thousands of years... If you haven’t heard of them, you MUST visit http://herecomethemummies.com... All of us here in SW FL are in for a real treat, as they will be appearing in Punta Gorda on November 6th to headline the First Annual Funk Fest in downtown Punta Gorda on Taylor Street! DON”T MISS THIS SHOW! Rapped in rags, this 12-piece ensemble puts the FUNK back in Funky! Now with three Grammy Awards, they are here to “wake-the-dead” in Punta Gorda (did I say that)... Well, here’s what they say about themselves:

Over 5000 years ago, from the dry stretches of the not-so-fertile crescent, wandered a well-endowed, if foul smelling tribe, Expleticus Deleticus. They played upon musical instruments that, although crude, were nevertheless vessels of seeming infinite funkiness. Unearthed hieroglyphs (some thought to be the first instances of sexual innuendo in song “lyrics”) tell a salacious story: a tribe

possessing the power to groove most righteously, made drop the tunics of five luscious teenage daughters of the Pharaoh, who

FeaturedBandBy Jack Gray

from the sands underfoot, Professor Nigel Quentin Fontenelle Dumblucke IV unearthed the ruins of an ancient discotheque to find a dozen undead Egyptian

m u m m i e s astonishingly still in the act of performing what he terms “Terrifying funk from beyond the grave”. From these, who called themselves (somewhat ungrammatically) HERE COME THE MUMMIES, Professor Dumblucke learned of the powerful curse that doomed them to wander the earth, seeking the ultimate riff, the one that may allow their souls to rest after aeons of “banging out solid fly grooves”. Now, more undead than Dick Clark (but without the Lego snap-on hair), and cursed with a funk so strong, you’ll never want to wash again, here comes... HERE COME THE MUMMIES.

THEMUMMIES


Margaritaville coming to Chicago’s Navy PierFrom the Chicago Breaking Business: “Jimmy Buffett’s Margari-taville coming to Navy Pier” Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville restau-rant is sailing into Navy Pier for a 10-year run. The Metropolitan Pier and Exposition Authority, which owns and operates the pier, approved the lease Wednesday morning. “So, we’ll have the Carib-bean in February on Navy Pier,” said David Mosena, board chairman. The authority is hoping the restaurant and entertainment venue will serve as an attendance magnet year-round. Buffett, in a prepared statement, expressed his excitement for the new venue, targeted to open next spring. “From my earli-est days in the city, playing the Quiet Knight on Belmont, to the pinnacle of live performances to me, singing in front of the ivy wall at Wrigley Field, I have had a long and wonderful history and affection for the people, the music, the art and the food of the Windy City. I have always thought of Chicago as a beach town, a pretty big one, but still a beach town.” Terms of the deal were not immediately available. The restaurant beat out 10 other bidders, including the current tenant in the space, Charlie’s Ale House.

Buffett Performs at Fund Raiser for Alex SinkJimmy Buffett performed at a fundraiser for Alex Sink (Democratic candidate for Governor) at the Orlando home of lawyer John Mor-gan on Sunday. A video of Jimmy performing is available on You-Tube Some pictures are available here “Florida Legend Jimmy Buffett Supporting Alex” An article in the Orlando Sentinel has

more information on his appearance: Let’s start with last weekend’s Jimmy Buffett concert. Didn’t hear anything about the show? Well, you’re not alone. Most Parrotheads missed it. And for good reason — because it was a private affair that cost $5,000 to attend. The event was a fundraiser for Democrat gubernatorial candidate Alex Sink, and Buffett performed barefoot in the backyard of John “For the People” Morgan’s Heathrow mansion Sunday evening. The set was short — just a few songs, including “Margaritaville” and “Volcano.” But the cash haul was big — about $500,000, accord-ing to Morgan. “The best night ever,” Morgan said, adding that the highlight was when Buffett agreed to play his and his wife’s special song: “Come Monday.”

Buffett Performs in ParisFrom Irish Parrot: The gig itself contained a pretty mixed up setlist from the norm, even for Paris. “Mademoiselle (Voulez-Vous Dan-ser)” rarely gets an outing but here it was in Paris. The show was amazing and songs like “Fins”, “One Particular Harbor” and “Cheese-burger in Paradise” sounded incredibly fresh after all these years and just rocked. But also there were beautiful moments in the renditions of “It’s My Job” and “He Went To Paris” during which Jimmy unplugged and performed solo while sitting on the edge of the stage and everybody sang every word along with him. Even then he surprised by not finishing at that but got up to do “Tin Cup Chalice” and “l’Air de Louisianne” again solo.

From No Shoes: What a day, I cannot believe how lucky we were. First we are in the queue and Jimmy rode up on his bicycle and said “I see it is the same faces at the front each year”. He then stood on the pavement with us for about 20 minutes chatting, signing autographs and having pictures taken with the few people who were there (about 20 of us) What a start to the day. This was the forth year in a row that Buffett has done a show in Paris.


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The Parrot had a long weekend and can’t think straight, can you help him finish this Thanksgiv-ing day poem? You can always ask your friends for help…….

Thanksgiving 8000 calorie poem

May your stuffing be _______ Adjective

May your __________ plump, NounMay your potatoes and gravy

have nary a ___________ Noun. May your _________ be delicious Noun

Parrot Libs November


Debbie Postle and the Parrot

Niagara Falls, NY

NOVEMBER SHOWS

9191

The Comedy Zone starts at 8PM

Nov. 17th - 20th

Sunday-

2

16

Visani's GotTalent Finals!

Nov. 3rd

Nov. 10th - 13th

Nov. 26th - 27th

Valarie Storm

"Roy Orbison"Tribute

9Motown Tribute

Michael Winslow 24

Diva and the"Italian Guy"

Louis Ramey Juanita Lolita

Johnny Millwater Kim Harrison

30Ken Mc.BrideHimself

22nd-24th

Tim Wilkins

Nov. 4th - 6th

and your pies take the __________, Nounand may your Thanksgiving ________ Nounstay off your _________thighs! Adjective

Have a very _________________ Thanksgiving Day!

Adjective


“It’s really now time to plan for the holidays!”

Kicking off a series of charity events this month will be the Cattle Barons’ Ball at the Charlotte County Fairgrounds on Saturday November 13th in aid of the American Cancer Society. Round up those denims and grab your hat as we gather together to support continued research in the cancer field that one day will lead to the elimination of the disease. For further details about the event, give the ACS a call on 941 627 3000.

The Punta Gorda Elks Lodge # 2606 is hosting its annual Veterans Appreciation Parade to be held on Saturday, Nov. 6, 2010 in Punta Gorda. The parade will start at 10:00 AM at the corner of Taylor Street and W. Marion Ave and proceed down Taylor across Route 41 and end at Charlotte High School, designed to show our support for all veterans. The parade will have many entries and include honor guards, military groups and vehicles, high school bands, dignitaries, emergency vehicles, local fire and police departments and a fly over. The Vietnam Veterans of America, Conquistadors, Military Heritage Museum, Veterans Motor Club of America and Florida Dept. of Corrections will also participate. There will be something for everyone to enjoy. So come on out and show your support for our troops and vets and have fun doing it. For more information contact Bob Bastis at 941-625-7923

Saturday November 20th is the Lighting

of the Village celebrations at Fishermen’s Village, Punta Gorda. The General Manager of Fishermen’s Village, Patti Allen, has a passion for the holidays and loves to decorate. I think she would keep her own tree up at home year round if her husband allowed it! Her passion will be reflected in the illumination of the entire Fishermen’s Village mall and resort. Visit www.fishville.com for full details of the festivities that entire day and every day in the run up to the Holidays themselves. It is truly a spectacular place to get in the Holiday mood.

On November 9th and every two weeks thereafter, the Punta Gorda Chamber welcomes back our trolley and boat

combo tours. Each month, we operate two guided tours that include an hour tour on the trolley, travelling around Punta Gorda and learning about the history and places of interest from a local historian which is followed by a one and a half hour cruise up the Peace River to enjoy the tranquility and beautiful scenery that our coastline has to offer. Many dolphin sightings are made, as well as the odd alligator! Tickets need to be purchased in advance for $20 per head by calling 941 639 3720 during office hours.

On Saturday December 4th, we present our 21st annual Lighted Boat Parade across Charlotte Harbor. The route map is posted to our Light Boat Parade page on our website www.puntagordachamber.com There, you will also find our registration form if you are a boater and want to join in the fun. There is no entry fee. Just must however make one mandatory safety meeting and then, following the parade, on Monday December 6th, we throw YOU a party for being part of the parade! We are conducting a European-style Christmas market this year, starting on Thursday December 2nd and running through to December 4th. The market will

run from 4pm-10m on Thursday December 2nd and Friday December 3rd and from 11am-8pm on Saturday December 4th. There’ll be live entertainment and visits from some very important Holiday guests! That weekend is always a big weekend in town, with tree lighting, parades and this year, for the first time, the Jingle Bell Run to aid arthritis sufferers. If you are a craft vendor or have a product that you would like to consider for the market, simply give us a call on 941 639 3720 and we’ll get you the details. Each vendor will be provided with a 10x10 tent, illumination, a table and chairs. All you need is the product, the time and a little cash!

Don’t forget to tune in to Seaview 104.9FM on the first Wednesday of each month, from 7AM-10AM, as Charlie Shoe broadcasts LIVE from the Chamber Offices, accompanied by a variety of our members. It’s a very informative show, full of great information about our programs and the variety of people that form our membership.

For a full listing of events as well as to search for our approved Chamber members’ details, please visit www.puntagordachamber.com The events and calendar link is a great page, but also visit the Friday Facts link – this is a weekly e-news publication which you can sign up for FREE, so that the latest and most up-to-date information on everything that is going on in both the City and the Chamber can be emailed to you every week. You’ll never be out of the loop again!

By John Wright

“Your” Chamber of Commerce in Punta Gorda

“Your” Chamber


Have You Seen The Parrot ?Have You Seen The Parrot ?Be the first person to send in an email

correctly identifying where our mascot,

Beaker, is this month.

Judy C. was correct!Our mascot Beaker was cruis-ing with Capt Dennis Kirk for an upriver adventure!

LAST MONTH’S WINNER :

Email : [email protected]

1-866-213-2033Call Today

Lisa Blanchard 941-916-5629

FLLANDMARKREALTY.COM

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Hometown brokerage offering exceptional services.

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the #1 PLACE to retire,

October, 2009

RECTUM STRETCHER While she was ‘flying’ down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic pa-tronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, ‘What’s your hurry?’ To which she replied, ‘I’m late for work.’ ‘Oh yeah,’ said the cop, ‘what do you do?’ ‘I’m a rectum stretcher,’ she re-sponded. The cop stammered, ‘A what?’ ‘A rectum stretcher!’ ‘And just what does a rectum stretcher do?’ ‘Well,’ she said, ‘I start by insert-ing one finger in the rectum, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it’s about 6 feet.’ ‘And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?’ he asked. ‘ You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...’ Traffic Ticket $95.00 Court Costs $45.00 Look on the Cop’s Face....... PRICELESS For everything else, there’s Mas-terCard

Never Argue with a Woman One morning, the husband re-turns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent. Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up along Side the woman and says, ‘Good morning, Ma’am. What are you doing?’. ‘Reading a book,’ she replies, (thinking, Isn’t that obvious?). ‘You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,’ he informs her.

‘I’m sorry officer, but I’m not fish-ing. I’m reading’. ‘Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.’ ‘If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,’ says the woman. ‘But I haven’t even touched you,’ says the Game Warden. ‘That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment’ ‘Have a nice day ma’am,’ and he left. MORAL Never argue with a woman who reads. It’s likely she can also think.

Asked to write a composition en-titled, “What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving,”little Timothy wrote, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.”

A geek’s list of thanks1. Be thankful you haven’t been spammed!

2. Be thankful your computer isn’t down!

3. Be thankful your favorite forum isn’t down!

4. Be thankful you don’t have The Good Times virus!

5. Be thankful your server isn’t down!

6. Be thankful for a vast selection of Web sites to browse!

7. Be thankful no one knows who you really are!

8. Be thankful someone sent you a cyber sundae, and you didn’t gain a pound!

9. Be thankful your 28 year old cyberfriend really isn’t 72!

10. Be thankful no one sent you a cyber voo-doo doll!

Twisted Humor


Waterfront DiningVino Loco Wine & Tapas Bar420 W. Dearborn St.(941) 473-8466White Elephant Pub1855 Gulf Blvd.(941) 475-6801

FT MYERSJimmy B’s Roof Top Bar1130 Estero Blvd.(239) 463-3657 LJ’s Lounge16500 S.R. 31(239) 694-4287 Pinchers Crab Shack 6890 Estero Blvd.Ft. Myers Beach(239) 463-2909Viper Club16520 S. Tamiami Trail(239) 437-2177

MATLACHABert’s Bar & Grill4271 Pine Island Rd.(239) 282-3232Fish House Marina / Fresh Seafood Market & Take-Out Restaurant 4530 Pine Island Rd.(239) 282-9588Miceli’s Italian Restaurant3930 Pine Island Rd. NW(239) 282-8233Moretti Seafood Restaurant4200 Pine Island Rd.(239)282-5552Ragged Ass Saloon3421 Stringfellow Rd.(239) 282-1131Woody’s Waterside 3051 Stringfellow Rd.St James City, Fl 33956(239) 283-5555

NOKOMISIrene’s Pub918 Tamiami Trl S(941) 485-6902Saltwater Café Oyster Bar & Seafood Restaurant1071 N. Tamiami Trail(941) 488-3775

NORTH PORT

Applebee’s17500 Tamiami Trl.(941) 423-1504Brewski’s12500 S. Tamiami Trail(941) 423-BREWBrickhouse Gourmet Pizza1221 Sumter Blvd.Now serving breakfast(941) 423-3950Buffalo Wild Wings Grill & BarU.S. 41 Between S.Sumter & S.Salford4301 Aidan Lane(941) 429-8078Little Caesars1073 N.Toledo Blade Blvd.(941) 429-5554Michelangelo Pizzeria & Restaurant1091 S.Toledo Blade Blvd.Shoppes at Price Crossing (Publix)(941) 426-0044

PLACIDAJohnny Leverock’s Seafood House7092 Placida Rd.(941) 698-6900Waterside Grill – Gasparilla Marina15001 Gasparilla Rd.(941) 697-2280

PORT CHARLOTTEAlli-GatorsPort Charlotte Town Center1441 Tamiami Trail(941) 624-0067Applebee’s19010 Murdock Circle(941) 766-0666Banditos5665 S.R.776(941) 697-4221Boomers2360 Tamiami Trail(941) 743-4140Chubbyz 2 Tavern 4109 Tamiami Trail(941) 613-0002Coyote’s4300 Kings Hwy #412(941) 629-2114

BOCA GRANDEBoca Grande ResortThe Island House InnThai Bistro & Sushi Bar5800 Gasparilla Road(941) 964-4443Boca Grille & Tiki471 Park Ave(941) 964-0040Dolphin Cove Café421 Park Avenue(941) 964-0109South Beach Bar & Grille777 Gulf Blvd(941) 964-0765

CAPE CORALBubba’s Roadhouse & Saloon2121 SW Pine Island Rd.(239) 282-5520The Twisted Conch837 SE 47th Ter.(239) 542-6622

ENGLEWOODBobarino’s Pizza20 Magnolia Ave.(941) 473-0000Café de la Bay470 W. Dearborn St.

(941) 460-8362Café 776138 N. Indiana Ave. (SR-776)(941) 475-0819Englewoods on Dearborn362 W. Dearborn St.(941) 475-7501Farlow’s on the Water2080 S. McCall Rd.(941) 474-5343Food is Love41 N. Indiana Ave.Breakfast & Lunch(941) 473-9439Hungry Howie’s Pizza & Subs1720 McCall Rd.Cornerstone Plaza(941) 475-8384J.B.’s Conch Café3384 S. McCall Rd.(941) 475-1747Lock & Key Restaurant&Pub2045 N. Beach Rd.(941) 474-1517Mookey’s Bar & Grill4821 Placida Rd.(941) 697-0349Stump Pass Grille260 Maryland Ave.(941) 697-0859

Bar & Restaurant Listings

Send us your ideas for a funny caption for this photo and we will print the winner along with the winners name in our next issue. E-mail us at

[email protected] or mail entries to The Parrot, 1001 Corporate Ave

Suite 111 North Port Florida 34289

Photo Caption Contest

This Month

If I am caught flying home I will sleep in a new cage tonight Jim W. Pt. Charlotte

Last Month


Benedetto’s Steakhouse & Martini Bar300 Retta Esplanade(941) 639-9695Biehl’s Slip-Not Lounge1601 Tamiami Trail(941) 639-7677Burnt Store GrilleCorner of US 41 & Burnt Store Rd.3941 Tamiami Trail(941) 575-2757Captain’s Table1200 Retta Esplanade(941) 637-1177Fishermen’s Village Dean’s South of the Border 130 Tamiami Trail(941) 575-6100New outside PatioHarpoon Harry’s1200 Retta Esplanade(941) 637-1177Fishermen’s VillageIce House Pub408 Tamiami Trail(941) 575-0866Jack’s Restaurant201 W. Marion Ave.(941) 637-8800La PiazzaTowles Plaza Suite 216 2705 Tamiami Trail(941) 639-0006Loft Bar502 King Street(941) 505-5678Lupe’s Tacos318 Tamiami Trail Unit 117(941) 833-9168“The Best Ever”LuLu at The Wyvern Hotel101 E. Retta Esplanade(941) 639-7700Mooseheads Cigar & Spirits318 Tamiami Trail(941) 505-0404 Phil’s 411975 Tamiami Trail (941) 575-7575Portofino-Waterfront Dining23247 Bayshore Rd(941) 743-2800Porto Bello at Latitudes3200 Matecumbe Key RdBurnt Store Marina(941) 639-3650

Bar & Restaurant Gatorz Bar & Grill3816 Tamiami Trail (941) 625-5000Hooters1360 Tamiami Trail(941) 625-0200Joe Cracker Sportsgrille & Tiki1020 El Jobean Road(941) 258-3444Johny’s Be Good Diner & Pub1951 Tamiami Trail(941) 255-0994Next to Days Inn Moe’s Southwest Grill1804 Tamiami Trail(941) 625-5610Morgan’s Café4300 Kings HwySchool House Square(941) 625-3400“Open for Breakfast & Lunch” Nav-A-Gator Grill9700 SW Riverview Circle(941) 627-FISHNemo’s Sports Café3192 Harbor Blvd.(941) 625-4794Portside Tavern3636 Tamiami Trail(941) 629-3055Sports City4560 Tamiami Trail(877) TIKI BARTijuana Flats Burrito Company1100 El Jobean Rd. (S.R. 776)(941) 766-8226Visani’s Comedy Dinner Theater2400 Kings Hwy.(941) 629-9191Whiskey Creek Wood Fire Grille2746 Tamiami Trail(941) 766-0045Willie’s Cocktails4095 Tamiami Trail(941) 624-2245Ziggy’s Lounge1825 Tamiami Trail(941) 255-1080

PUNTA GORDA

Bar & Restaurant Listings

River City Grill131 West Marion Ave.(941)639-9080Tapas One on Bin 82 258 W. Marion Ave.(941) 916-9581Village Fish Market & Restaurant1200 W. Retta EsplanadeFishermen’s Village“New England & Florida Seafood Specialties”(941) 639-7959Village Oyster Bar1200 W. Retta EsplanadeFishermen’s Village(941) 637-1212“Beautiful Waterfront View”Wood Street Grill221 Wood St.(941) 575-1188Lunch, Pizza, Subs, Catering SARASOTAApplebee’s1991 Main St.(941) 955-72345490 Clark Rd.(941) 925-25955550 Fruitville Rd.(941) 379-2260Broken Egg140 Avenida MessinaSiesta Key(941) 346-2750Open Daily from 7:30-2:30pmBuffalo Wild Wings Grill & Bar4067 Clark Rd.(941) 922-5554Cheeburger Cheeburger4944 S. Tamiami Trail(941) 921-5503Daiquiri Deck5254 Ocean Blvd.Siesta Key(941) 349-8697Five O’ Clock Club

1930 Hillview St.(941) 366-5555Live Music 7 days a weekGilligan’s Island Bar5253 Ocean Blvd Siesta Key(941) 346-8122Gecko’s Grill & Pub4870 S. Tamiami Trail(941) 923-8896Hooters20 Gulf Gate Mall(941) 923-4666Linksters Tap Room8764 S. Tamiami Trail(941) 966-9141Siesta Key Oyster Bar (SKOB)5238 Ocean Blvd.(941) 346-5443Sushi Raw Bar & Grille4854 S. Tamiami Trail(941) 924-0393The Italian Grill8620 S. Tamiami Trail(941) 966-6565

VENICEApplebee’s4329 S.Tamiami Trail(941) 497-7740Bogey’s Restaurant & Sports Bar652 E. Venice Ave. (941) 488-9156Sharky’s on the Pier1600 Harbor Drive South(941) 488-1456Snook Haven500 E. Venice Ave.(941) 485-7221Venice Sports Bar & Billiards 2107 Tamiami Trl S (941) 497-2048Wally’s Pour House Bar & Grill1730 S. Tamiami Trail(941) 493-0677

& Waterside Grill

15001 Gasparilla Road Placida, FL

941-697-2280/941-697-0724 www.gasparillamarina.com

Waterside Grill 6:30 a.m.—11:00 p.m.

Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner Daily Specials, Happy Hour

Live Entertainment

Red Marker 20 on the ICW

Bring in this months Parrot Ad and receive $25.00 off on a full day Boat Rental!

Exp: 12/31/2010


Home • Boat • RV • Life • Classic Car • Health • Auto • Business

Debbie Reynolds Guzman 20 Years Experience

992 Tamiami TrailUnit D1 Port Charlotte, FL. 33953(941) 979-8426Fax: 1-888-552-7641www.cig orida.com

I am excited to announce that I have chosen to join forces with State Insurance Agency. They are a local independent agency in town and this merger will al-low me to reach out to additional com-panies and provide more options to manage your insurance needs.

My office will relocate to 992 Tamiami Trail Unit D1, Port Charlotte, FL. 33953. My current agency phone number will continue to work but eventually will transition to 941 979 8426.

I look forward to continuing to ser-vice your insurance needs.

Sincerely,

Debbie Reynolds - Guzman

Debbie Reynolds-Guzman State Insurance Agency 992 Tamiami Trail Unit D1, Port Charlotte, FL. 33953Phone: 941 979 8426Fax: 1-888-552-7641


Drive By Shooting

converge on Key West for 4 days of endless live music, fun and laughter.

T h e Happy Hour will be held on Friday, November 12th from 5 till 7 pm at Trader Vic’s in Sarasota – if you’re in the neighborhood please join us. Ghosts and Goblins attended our October Social meeting which featured a Halloween

dress up party. Our November Social meeting will be held on Thursday November 18, one week early due to Thanksgiving. Come on out and join

us on the 4th Thursday of

every month at the courtyard at the Saramana Eagles Club just off of Beneva Road, or check us out on our new website: www.SBPHC.com.The SBPHC Christmas party will be held on Sunday, December 5th. It is free to all paid up members of the club, the only requirement is that you bring one unwrapped toy for our annual Toys for Tots Drive., this years entertainment will be provided by “Sunny Jim”.Till next month – Remember, “We’re growing older – but not Up!Sherry Swartz

A croozin and a boozin we did go! The SBPHC had its first Croozin & Boozin Cruise and a good time was had by all – some even a better time than others from what I heard! October was the month to float, as over 25 members also took a canoe trip down the Peace River. We had the most incredible Happy Hour at the Gulf Gate Drive Café’s new Tiki Bar right on the beach on Anna Maria Island. The sunset was awesome, for those looking close; there was even a green flash! Our golf outing was a huge success, it was a beautiful day with

a lot of laughs and a few serious golfers (a very few serious golfers)! We are looking forward to our annual A l z h e i m e r ’ s walk on Lido beach on October 23rd; we hope to have the most walkers again this year. November is a very big month, as about 75 of our members make the yearly pilgrimage to Key West for the Meeting of the Minds. At least 3000 parrot heads from all over the country

November :* John F. Kennedy was assassinated in November 1963.* Lincoln’s Gettysburg address was given in November 1863.* The ancient Roman calendar listed November as the ninth month.* The US and Canada celebrate the end of WWI on November 11.* Presidents Harding and Polk differed in age by 70 years, but they were both born on November 2.* Winter once began on November 11, according to the calendar of ancient Rome.* November was called “Blood Month” by the ancient Saxons because that was the month they sacrificed animals to their gods.

November is:* Adoption Awareness Month* Alzheimer’s Disease Month* Apple Month (US National) * Child Safety and Protection Month* Christmas Seals Month* Diabetes Month (National, US)* Drum Month (International)* Epilepsy Month (National, US)* Hospice Month (National, US)* Native-American Heritage Month“National American Indian Heritage Month, Signed into law in 1990 by President Bush has been a source of inspiration for many American Indians and non-Indians and a platform to celebrate the rich and diverse cultures of this great country.” * Both John Lennon (famous Beatles member) and Bill Gates (Microsoft) were born in October.* November is one of 4 months in the Gregorian Calendar that has 30 days*November comes from the Latin word root “novem”, which means nine. It was originally the 9th month in the Ro-man Calendar.* In Finland they call November “mar-raskuu” which translates as “month of the dead”*November is National Tobacco Aware-ness Month*November is National Beard Month*November 1st is celebrated in many Christian churches as All Saints Day* The birthstone for November in Topaz


Hey Tampa Bay Parrotheads, what tiiiiiiiime is it? It’s time to get ready for the holidays. Can you believe the year will be over in two months? I guess time really does fly when you’re having rum. Be sure to check at the store at our regular meetings to purchase copies of Pheeding the Phlock cookbook. The cost is only $15 with all proceeds going to Tampa Bay Watch. These will make great Christmas presents!!

On Sept. 25th we had another beach clean up, so Parrothead Island is spic and span yet again. Thanks to Pat Lockhart for herding the cats, and the boys at the Freaki Tiki for the hospitality. There was also a sunset cruise on Oct 16th. Turned out to be a beautiful evening. The money raised went towards our endowment to the USF College of Marine Science. And yours truly didn’t mention last article about the great raft up on Aug 25th. Always a great time…just check out the pictures. Another fine outing put on by Capt. Dom and gang.

Hampton Inn & Suites Tampa/ Ybor1301 E. 7th Avenue Tampa, Fl 33605813-247-6700 * FAX: 813-247-6100www.tampayborcitysuites.hamtoninn.com

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OF NORTH PORT

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AMERICAN FLORIST

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1001 Corporate Ave Unit 111 North Port, FL 34289

Tollfree: (877)-240-5855Thanksgiving Feast


GAITHER HOMECOMINGDecember 17, 2010

Tickets As Low As $36.00

Breakaway Sports Pub opens 1 hr prior to events. Enjoy dinner overlooking the stage. Reservations: 239.948.7825 x 1309. For more info visit, www.GermainArena.com.

Tickets can be purchased in person at Germain Arena’s T.I.B. Box Office & all Ticketmaster outlets, via telephone at 800.745.3000 or online at www.Ticketmaster.com.

SUBLIME WITH ROMEOctober 26, 2010

Tickets As Low As $29.50

Lots of pholks will be in Key West for Meeting of the Minds the first week in November, and here’s hoping we all have a great time. Just remember, pace yourself!! We have the Davis Island cleanup on Nov 20th. The after party will again be at Elmer’s. Watch the e-mails for specifics.

The TBPH holiday party is slated for Saturday, Dec 11th. Usually starts at 7:00 at Treasure Island Community Center. Watch the e-mails for details, but rumor has it we have Patrick Foy and the Conch Critters as our entertainment. One of

this author’s fave bands!

I hope everyone had a safe but spooky Halloween, and I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving!! Yours truly loves turkey day as I am guaranteed to watch Dallas…hopefully

beating up on someone. Gooooooo Cowboys!!

If you haven’t yet made it to a meeting at Whiskey Joe’s you really have to come on out. They have taken excellent care of us, including some great drink prices, great appetizer prices and a pretty good free “buffet”. Just remember, this is supposed to be a snack, not dinner for a week. Please leave

some food for the rest of the hungry parrotheads

Ok, I think that’s it for now. In the meantime you need to join us at our next Parrothead meeting. You can find us at Whiskey Joe’s (on the Tampa causeway next to the public parking for Ben T. Davis beach) on the 1st and 3rd Wednesdays of the month. Check out our website at www.finsup.com for more details about the club or any of our upcoming events (click on the “Events” banner and go to the month in which you need info).

And remember, “Wrinkles only go where the smiles have been.”

Tampa Bay Parrot Heads in Paradise Club Written by Charlotte Lanier aka Charlie Rose


With Tampa Bay’s subtropical climate, everyone who lives and visits our amazing destination knows that you have to call the seasons here – but let’s face it, I don’t know anyone who will complain about year-round sunshine, but I digress.

So, let’s call the season…break out the cinnamon brooms and pilgrim salt and pepper shakers - it’s officially Fall in Tampa Bay! And that means some of my favorite events are just around the corner. And if they are some of my favorite events, you know that most of them will involve food!

Let’s start with one of the largest and “wildest” all-inclusive food festivals in the Tampa Bay area – ZooFari at Tampa’s Lowry Park Zoo. This will be the Zoo’s 24th Annual feeding frenzy and will include food from over 70 local restaurants, not to mention open bars for attendees to enjoy. And here’s where they sweeten

the deal…there will be a live performance by The Gin Blossoms! All of the excitement happens on Saturday, Nov. 6, starting at 7pm and tickets are on still on sale (and you can get them at the door). Head over to www.LowryParkZoo.com to get more details.

If you’re more of a seafaring individual, no worries because the Annual Ruskin Seafood Festival has you covered, and probably smothered, with some delicious options. From Nov. 6-7, sun, sand and

plenty of seafood line the shores of Tampa Bay for the annual Ruskin Seafood and Arts Festival. Vendors and restaurants will offer visitors tastes of their seafood specialties, including shrimp, cracked conch, grouper sandwiches, clam chowder, alligator and oysters.

Plus, an arts and crafts area will have displays of hand-crafted goods, wood carvings, furniture, jewelry, stained glass items and commercial exhibits. Other entertainment includes a boat show, children’s court and exotic animals. There’s something for the entire

family, so head out and enjoy a day full of food, culture and fun! Admission is $5 for adults and children (under 12) and Military are FREE. Plus, parking is free! Just visit www.ruskinseafoodfestival.org to get more details.

If barbecue is your thing, then listen up because there’s an event taking place out in Plant City that will have your mouth watering. The annual Plant City Pig Jam is hitting the coals on Saturday, Nov. 20 from 10am to 5pm. This is the 8th annual event, and it will attract barbecue

professionals from across the United States! All of the excitement takes place at the Randy Larson Softball Stadium in Plant City, which provides just enough room to enjoy some of the best

finger-lickin’ good BBQ around. Plus, there’ll be live entertainment, a Kid’s Zone, a big screen TV for football fans and much, much more.

And, if you think you’ve got the best BBQ in town, you can even enter…but enter at your own risk because these guys are pros! Parking is $5 per vehicle AND admission is FREE! Head over to www.PlantCity.org to get more details, and get your appetites ready.

As you can see, there are plenty of sumptuous event options for the entire family throughout the month all over the area! So, pull out the forks, knives, salt and pepper (ok maybe not even the forks and knives), and get ready for a deliciously good time in Tampa Bay! And head over to www.VisitTampaBay.com to get the full “scoop” on events in Tampa Bay!

Eating Up Tampa Bay!


SKOB

Don't ForgetSKOB's

Late Night Happy Hour2 for 1 Drink Specials

Sunday thru Thursday Starting at 10PMFriday and Saturday Starting at 11pm

Don't MissSKOB's Famous Oyster

Happy Hour3pm to 6pm Daily

1 Dozen Oysters on the Half Shell, $6Louisiana Crawfish, $6

941.346.5443

5238 Ocean Blvd. • Siesta Key • Florida • 34242

5238 Ocean Blvd. • Siesta Key • Florida • 34242

www.skob.com


Tuesday 2ndVISANI’S GOT TALENT FI-NALS! AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. No cover. Starts at 8pm. For more information visit www.visani.net

Wednesday 3rdDIVA AND THE “ITALIAN GUY” AT VISANI’S COMEDY THE-ATER in Port Charlotte. Shows at 1pm & 7:30pm. For more information visit www.visani.net

Thursday 4th-6thLIVE COMEDY WITH VALERIE STORM/RICKY REYES AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. For show times and tickets visit www.visani.net

--------MUSEUM OF ART & CIR-CUS MUSEUM PRESENTS ART AFTER 5: COCKTAILS & OBSERVATIONS from 5-8pm. Enjoy the Museum of Art per-manent collection and special exhibition galleries, cocktails and great conversation on the loggia. Bring the family and explore the Circus Museum’s miniature circus and Wisconsin railroad car. After hours dis-counted admission are adults are $10, children ages 6-17 are $5, and under 5 are free. For more info go to www.ringling.org

Saturday 6thFARMER’S MARKET DOWN-TOWN IN PUNTA GORDA on Taylor St. and Herald Court by the Historic court House. From 8-1pm. There’s local farm fresh fruits and vegetables, live entertainment, fresh baked goods & fresh seafood, locally homemade soups-to-go, fresh cheeses & fresh ground cof-fee, fresh cut flowers & potted plants and creative demonstra-tions & performers. Come One Come All!

--------SOUTHERN STATES BULL-RIDING TEAM CHAMPION-SHIP at Charlotte County Fairgrounds. Covered Arena the SSBR Thunder Dome is back! Admission is $12/adult, $10/child, under 5 are free. Hours are 7pm. Gates open at 6:30pm. For more information visit www.ssbrnow.com

--------SARASOTA BLUES FESTIVAL at the Ed Smith Stadium Com-plex. Join thousands of Saraso-

ta music fans. We welcome the best in Blues for a great day of music and fun. Lots of food and drinks available for purchase at reasonable prices.

--------PUNTA GORDA SPEEDWAY – Sportsman 50 laps, Pro 4, Fab 4, Road Warriors, super stocks, Cowboy Cadillac, legends, Bandolero, mini stocks. For more information visit www.puntagordaspeedway.com

--------FUNK FEST 2010

see page 3 for full details of this event--------

CHARLOTTE HARBOR ARTSENSATION at the Char-lotte Harbor Event Center from 10-5pm. Admission is a $5 donation. Charlotte Harbor Artsensation is celebrating local music, art & culture. Numerous artists, performers and cultural organizations will be there to entertain you. For more infor-mation visit www.charlottearts.org

Saturday 6th & 7thVENICE MAINSTREET ART FEST downtown from 10-4pm.

Sunday 7thPORT CHARLOTTE PIRATES FISHING TOURNAMENT at Fishermen’s Village.

--------MUSTANG CLUB OF CHAR-LOTTE COUNTY CAR SHOW AT FISHERMEN’S VILLAGE from 11-3pm in the Village Parking lot. Over 100 cars spanning the decades. Come and vote for your favorite People’s Choice winner. Award ceremony at 3pm at the center stage. For more information visit www.fishville.com

Tuesday 9thCRESENT BEACH GRO-CERY ANNOUNCES ITS 2010 SERIES OF WINE & FOOD TASTINGS at Siesta Key’s Corner Grocery & Epicurean Oasis from 6-8pm. Admission is complimentary. We will be fea-turing wines around the world accompanied by hors d’ouvres

from our gourmet deli. You are certain to find a wine that will excite your palate.

--------MOTOWN TRIBUTE SHOW AT VISANI’S COMEDY THE-ATER in Port Charlotte. Show at 7:30pm. Tickets are $10. For more information visit www.visani.net

--------THE JOHN AND MABLE RINGLING MUSEUM OF ART PRESENTS ART OF FOOD: A TAPESTRY OF TASTES pro-grams that satisfy your appetite for art as well as fine dining. Art of Food evenings combine a curator led tour of Museum collections or special exhibi-tions with a multi-course meal designed by Treviso Executive Chef Jeff Trefy. Times are 4:30-7:30pm. Advance reservations are required; please call 941-358-3180. For more information visit www.ringling.org

Wednesday 10th-13thLOUIS RAMEY/JUANITA LO-LITA APPEARING AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. Special Event. For show times and tickets visit www.visani.net

Thursday 11thVETERAN’S DAY CEREMONY at Fishermen’s Village from 11-1pm in the Center Court. For more information visit www.fishville.com

--------“WAR TALES” AT THE MILI-TARY HERITAGE MUSEUM IN FISHERMEN’S VILLAGE from 3-6pm. This is an opportunity for people to speak one-on-one with veterans from WWII, the Korean and Vietnam Wars and the current Operations Iraqi and Enduring Freedom. For more information visit www.freedomisntfree.org or call 941-575-9002.

Thursday 11th-28thRADIO CITY CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR STARRING THE ROCKETTES!! Appearing at the Barbara B. Mann Per-

forming Arts Hall at the Edison State College-13350 Edison Parkway, Ft. Myers.

Friday 12thFRIDAY NIGHT LIVE CON-CERT IN VENICE at Centen-nial Park from 8-10pm.

Friday 12th-14thSAN ANTONIO FALL FESTI-VAL at the San Antonio Catho-lic Church on Rampart Blvd. in Port Charlotte. This festival is one of the largest venues of its kind in Charlotte County.

Friday 12th & 13thGREEN FUTURES EXPO & ENERGY OPTIONS CONFER-ENCE at the Charlotte Harbor Event Center in Punta Gorda. The Green Futures Expo is a tradeshow designed to high-light the products and services that will benefit consumers and businesses for a future of green living. For more informa-tion visit www.charlottecountyfl.com/BCS/Greenfutures/


--------ALZHEIMER’S MEMORY WALK AT FISHERMEN’S VIL-LAGE from 9-12pm. Presented by the Alzheimer’s Association. Registration begins at 9am in the center court.

--------KIDFEST & FILM IN NORTH PORT from 2-6pm at the Mul-len Center Greenway. Kidfest is a free festival created to bring North Port Area businesses and organizations together with families. Businesses offer activities for a low or no cost for children as an opportunity to connect in a fun and creative way. There will also be festival food, performances scheduled throughout the day, K-9 dem-onstrations and so much more. In addition, this event is paired with the City of North Port’s

SWFL November Events


Movie in the Park. For a mini-mal cost per person a movie is shown al Fresno on the field. For more information visit www.kidfestnorthport.com

--------PUNTA GORDA SPEEDWAY – Checkered flag sprints, Pro trucks 50 laps, TQ Midgets, champs karts, dwarf cars, mini stocks, road warriors. For more information visit www.puntago-rdaspeedway.com

--------SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE ON DEARBORN in Englewood. From 6-9pm. Shops will open late. Shop, dine, and play on Dearborn Street! Visit www.oldeenglewood.com

Saturday 13th & 14thST. ARMANDS CIRCLE ART FESTIVAL St. Armands Circle is an upscale shopping district popular with tourists from all over the world, you will find 150 artists in town.

Saturday 13th– 14th& 20th-21st

7TH ANNUAL SARASOTA ME-DIEVAL FAIR at the Sarasota Fairgrounds from 10-6pm. Rain or shine. Free Parking. Come one or all to two weekends of exciting tournaments, scrump-tious feasts, pure family fun at this year’s Sarasota Medieval Fair. Visit www.sarasotamedi-evalfair.com

Sunday 14th13TH ANNUAL GREAT TEDDY BEAR RUN This charity event will benefit KIDS by the SEA, serving children with cancer. All bikers and bike clubs and the general public are invited. The parade proceeds down Honore Ave. & Fruitville Rd. leaving 11:30am from the mall parking lot at University Center at The Shoppes at University Center Mall exit #213. Regis-tration begins from 10am till 11:15am. Tickets are on sale at Rossiter’s Harley Davidson in Sarasota and at Manatee River Harley Davidson off SR 64 in Bradenton. Advance price is $10/person if paid at the deal-erships.

Monday 15thITALIAN MUSIC EVENT WITH MAURICE LOMONOCO AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. Show starts at 7:30pm. For tickets informa-

tion visit www.visani.netTuesday 16th

ROGER WATERS THE WALL LIVE appearing at the St. Pete Times Forum at 8pm. For more information visit www.stpete-timesforum.com

--------“ROY ORBISON” TRIBUTE BY MIKE T AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. Tickets are $10. Show time is 7:30pm. For more info visit www.visani.net

Tuesday 16th-21stSIESTA KEY CRYSTAL CLASSIC MASTER SAND-SCULPTING COMPETITION A week-long festival of events at Siesta Beach featuring 20 of the country’s best master sand sculptors. For details visit our website at www.crystalsand.org.

Wednesday 17th-20thLIVE COMEDY WITH JOHNNY MILLWATER/KIM HARRISON AT VISANI’S COMEDY THE-ATER in Port Charlotte. For more info visit www.visani.net

Thursday 18thGALLERY WALK IN PUNTA GORDA from 5-8pm. The Punta Gorda Downtown Mer-chants Association brings you art, music, live demonstrations, shopping and food. What a better way to spend an evening strolling through downtown Punta Gorda.


--------PUNTA GORDA SPEEDWAY – Open wheel modified 50 laps, sportsman 50 laps, su-

per stocks, Pro 4, Fab 4, road warriors, (final points night for Legends, bandlero). For more info visit www.pun-tagordaspeedway.com

--------FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS AT FISHERMEN’S VILLAGE from 5-9pm. The official kick-off of the Holiday Shopping Season. Complimentary refreshments courtesy of Village Merchants. Visits with Santa (bring your camera), and live music.

--------CHARLOTTE HARBOR NA-TURE FESTIVAL at Charlotte County Sports Park in Port Charlotte from 10-3pm. Free Parking and admission. This annual festival is a fun filled day to learn more about the natural environment filled with demonstrations, guided walks and wagon rides. A fantas-tic kid’s area and musicians. Children won’t want to leave the Discovery Zone, which is packed with games and activi-ties. Mote Marine Laboratory will bring their mobile exhibit with its touch tank. For more information visit www.charlotte-harbornep.org

Monday 22nd-24thMICHAEL WINSLOW APPEAR-ING AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. For tickets and show times visit www.visani.net

Tuesday 23rdBARKTOBERFEST PET COS-TUME CONTEST at Fisher-men’s Village from 11-1pm. Presented by Salty Paws. Pre-registration is required. Call 941-575-7599 for more information.

Friday 26th&27thLIVE COMEDY WITH TIM WILKINS AT VISANI’S COME-DY THEATER in Port Charlotte. For more information visit our website at www.visani.net

Saturday 27thFARMER’S MARKET DOWN-TOWN IN PUNTA GORDA on Taylor St. and Herald Court by the Historic court House.

From 8-1pm. There’s local farm fresh fruits and vegetables, live entertainment, fresh baked goods & fresh seafood, locally homemade soups-to-go, fresh cheeses & fresh ground cof-fee, fresh cut flowers & potted plants and creative demonstra-tions & performers. Come One Come All! --------VENICE HOLIDAY PARADE in downtown Venice from 7-9pm. For more info visit www.ven-iceholidayparade.com or call 941-488-8780.

--------VISIT WITH SANTA AT FISH-ERMEN’S VILLAGE from 1-7pm. Bring your camera and capture the moment!

--------HOLIDAY LIGHT UP THE VIL-LAGE Fun for the entire fam-ily The Siesta Village Holiday Stroll & Open House will be located at the Siesta Center across from Michael Saunders. Start the Holiday Season off Right! Come and get in the holiday spirit.

--------RIVER CITY GOLF TOURNA-MENT benefiting Charlotte High School Athletics. 8am shotgun start at Deep Creek Golf Course. 4 player Texas Scramble. $75 a player (300 a team) / $100 tee sponsor-ship, $100 team deposit, $75 includes-18 holes, cart, green fee, breakfast, 2 free course drinks, and Lunch at River City Grill. All Proceeds Benefiting C.H.S. Athletic Dept. Space is Limited. For more information please contact Kerey Andrade @ 941-979-1567 or by email @ [email protected]

--------CHRISTIMAS LIGHTED GOLF CART PARADE AT FISHERMEN’S VILLAGE from 6-7:30pm. Come join us for lots of fun and decorate your golf cart. For more info visit www.fishville.com or call Doug Buuck @ 941-626-6627 or Hope Pet-kus @ 941-575-3067.

Tuesday 30thKEN MCBRIDE “HIMSELF” APPEARING AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. Special Event. Show time is 7:30pm. Tickets are $10. For more information visit our website at www.visani.net

SWFL November Events


you have won’t save you from utter failure.Gemini(May 22 - June 21) Position yourself well, for the revolution is almost here. Try to avoid being too close to walls. Chunks of meat will plague you today...or give you the plague. The mystics are being terribly vague on this one. Flapping your arms like a bird is a good way to call attention to yourself.Cancer(June 22 - July 22) You are everything you always hoped you would never be. Today may be the day for a quick change. Any satisfaction you had about not having a police record, may be undone today. Leo(July 23 -August 21) Laugh, cry, laugh, cry. This week is going to be a very merry roundabout of feelings but by Friday you’ll realise that it’s all been for the best. Speaking of which, good news will come from a stranger who will predict a mixture of happiness and sadness that will resolve itself by the end of the week.Virgo(August 22 - September 23) It’s a funny old world so you have to be wary of the people close by you. Some are out to get you in a mean way whilst some are out to get you in a physically pleasurable way. Sadly you’ll be unable to work out who’s who and that’s your main problem today - who wants you and who wants to hurt you.Libra(September 24 - October 23) Bits and pieces of the day will flash before your eyes before you’ve seen them. This is all due to the excitement and pleasure at a new found love - your love of drinking methanol. I would estimate that at least 50% of your efforts today will go, not only unrewarded, but also unnoticed. Life is like that this week and just when you start to get used to it you’ll suddenly receive a big pick-me-up.

Scorpio (October 24 - November 22) The worry you’re feeling is unnecessary...because you can’t avoid the horrors that await. Astronomy is to gastronomy as it is to git. Your irrelevance becomes clear today and you will feel a new sense of freedom.Sagittarius (November 23 - December 22) Stimulation of the mind and body is achievable. Especially if you like masturbating to documentaries.

Capricorn (December 23 - January 20) Back in the day you were quite the charmer. Now you’re not even Judith Chalmers. Wake up the old you and get out there - rejection hurts only as much as watching Soap Operas every night of your life.Aquarius(January 21 - February 19) Monkeys can make awesome presents for someone you love. Be aware that they might poo in a loved one’s hat and/or coat pockets.Pisces(February 20- March 20) When your lover starts wearing more clothes to bed than to work, it’s a good guess that your happiness is close to being over. This week will see the start of such bizarre occurences. The name “Jude” will have some significance today and may be the very thing you’ve been yearning for.Aries(March 21 - April 20) Life will throw many things at you over the coming months, including a book-shelf which you probably should have ensured was fixed more firmly to the wall. Perhaps it’s true that you’re not the immense stud you once were.Taurus(April 21 - May 21) The latin phrase for what you’re feeling right now is: “Non semper inquisit damascus aroooooo!”. There’s a little bit of dog language mixed in there too. Any amount of feelings

By Dean Henson

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The Parrot November 2010

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