ThePrincessLoriWick

3Acknowledgments

ThismightbethefirstbookI'vewrittenthatdidnotsitinmymindforyearsbeforeIwroteit.Forthisreason,myfirstwordofthanksgoestoHarvestHouseforsupportingmeinthisproject.Thankyouforalwaysbeinginmycorner.

IwouldalsoliketothankallmyHandandFootcompatriotsfromDuBayandelsewhere: Jess, Jules, Kate, Jo, Barb, Matt, Tim, Abby, Derek, Jane, andMargaret,justtonameafew.Iloveyouall.

Thankyou,MaryVesperman,foralwaysbeingthere.You'rewithmeoneverybook, through thick and thin. Thank you for your skill, understanding, andinsight.It'sajoytoworkwithyou.

Thankyou,Steve andBeckyMiller.Your enthusiasmand technical supportweresovaluabletome.DearestBecky,Ilovetowatchyousign.

Thankyoutomymother,PearlHayes,wholovesthisbook.Ithinkyoumustcheertheloudest.It'ssogoodhavingyouasmybiggestfan.

Andalwayslast-becauseheremainsinmyheartthelongest-thankyou,Bob,forbeingmyveryownprince.

4Prologue

Henley,WainwfightPendaran

Peninhand,DariaParkerbentoverherpersonal journal,hereyesandmindintent.Unlessshewasverysleepy,shewrote in theLeatherboundbookeverySaturdaynight.Theentryforthisdaybegan:

October11,1988

Isthereanywaytodescribemyjoy,Father?IamthankfulbeyondwordsforwhatYouhavedone.LonghaveweprayedforShelby,andinYourgreatmercy,YouhavenowreacheddownandmadeherYours.

Daria sat back in her chair, her eyes on a distant spot out thewindow.Themoonhungintheskylikeahugewhiteball,makingitseemearlierthan10:15.Her husband, Josiah, was already asleep in the bed they had shared for 19years,butthesoftsoundofhisbreathingwasacomforttoher.

I knew that someday shewould see the truth; I justdidn't knowwhen.WhowouldhavethoughtYouwoulduseapoortestgradetomakeherseeherneedofYou.

Dariasetherpendownforamomentasshethoughtbacktoherownsalvationsevenyearsearlier.Andnotjusthers,butJosiah'saswell.Shelbyhadbeentenatthetime,andtheirson,Brice,six.HermarriagetoJosiahhadbeenabitrock)'inthosedays.ThenoneofJosiah'scustomershadinvitedthemtohischurch.Dariabalked,

5

6

so Josiahbegan to attendonhisown, and itwasn't longuntil shenoticedadifferenceinhim.Theybegangoingasafamily,alife-changingexperiencefor

both them and their son-but not for their daughter. Now, seven years later,Shelbyhadseenthetruthforherself.Dariapickedupherpen.

Weplan to go on a trip this summer, Lord, and I look forward to our timetogetherasIneverhavebefore.IknowShelbywillseethingsthroughneweyesand with a new heart. Thank You for the promises of Your Word and Yourfaithfulnesstous.She'sbeensuchawonderfuldaughter,Lord,andthisstepoffaithinherlifewillonlyenhancethat.

Withasoftsigh,Dariasatbackagain.Foramomenthermindrantofancifulthoughtsandsuppositionsabouther17-year-old,redheadeddaughter.Sheknewitwasnormalforeverymothertothinkthatherchildrenwerethemosttalentedand wonderful in the world, and she was no different, but a sudden thoughtoccurredtoherthatwasalmostfrightening,amomentofunsettlednessthatshecouldn'tdefine.

She's so special already, Lord,Daria prayed.She's obedient, warm, talented,intelligent, and so caring of others. Now she has You, and 1 cant help butwonder if You might have something very remarkable and unfamiliar for ourShelby.

Dariashookherhead.Clearlyshewasgrowingtired,andherimaginationwasplayingtricksonher.Sheclosedthebook,setthepenaside,andturnedoffthedesk lampwhile telling herself not to let her mind run away. As she slippedbeneath the covers and cuddled the pillow against her cheek, a slight smilemanagedtoturnupthecornersofhermouth,asmileshecouldn'twipeaway.Stlingereduntilthemomentshefellasleep.

8

9

ThePrincess

One

Faraday,WainwrightJune1994ThePalace

TobyNewburywalkedintothepalacewithcomfortablefamiliarity,knowing

hewouldbewelcomebutnotcertainhewouldfindthemonarchavailable.Hewasn'tagainsttalkingtothequeenalone,butthepurposeofhisvisitmadehimhopehewouldfindPendaran'skingandqueentogether.

"Mr. Newbury," a voice greeted with utmost respect. Toby turned to findWallaceheadedhisway.Wallacewasthekingandqueen'shouseminister,amanof indistinguishableyearswhokept theeastquadrantof thepalacemovingonwell-oiledwheels.

"Hello,Wallace.MayIgoup?"

"Certainly,sir.I'lljustringthroughandletthequeenknowyou'recoming."

Nowknowingthekingwasnotavailable,Tobycrossedtheblack-and-white-tiledfoyerandstartedupthewidestaircasethatledtothesecondfloorandthepalace'sprivatechambers.Thequeen,heknew,wouldbe inoneof thesalons,andbecausetherewasalwayssomeonehoveringinthehallwaynearby,findingherwouldbenoeffort. "Someone" turnedout tobe thequeenherself.Havingreceived thecall, shewaswaiting justoutside thedoubledoorsofher favoritesalon. Dressed in a beautiful blue pantsuit that matched her eyes, she lookeddelightedtoseehim.

"Hello,Toby,"shegreeted,smilingastheyembraced.

10

"Good morning, Erica." His own smile was warm as he kissed her cheek."Alonethismorning,areyou?"hewastednotimeinasking.

"For another 15minutes," she said as she led the way to the plush yellowdavenports that sat in a half circle and allowed a lovely view of the innercourtyard.

"Good."

"Whyisthatgood?"hereyestwinkledassheasked.

"Ihavesomethingtotellbothofyou.DoyouthinkRafewillhavetime?"

"Yes.Unlesssomethinghascomeup,he'sfreeuntilthisafternoon."

"Good,"Tobyrepeated,butEricafellsilent,watchingasherguest'sgazewent

to the windows. She had learned from childhood when to ask questions andwhen to keep silent. Toby clearly had something on hismind, but itwouldn'thavebeenfairtoaskhimtoexplainittwice.

"Did you have a speaking engagement last night?" the queen, rememberingsuddenly,asked.

"Asamatteroffact,Iwasatabanquet,butIdidn'taddressthegroup."

"I'msurprisedyou'reheresoearly."

"Itwasn'ta latenight.Thedinnerwasrighthere inFaraday."Hisvoicehadgrownrathersoftwhilespeaking,hiseyesmovingbacktothewindows,andforthisreasonEricafellsilentagain.

Without invitation theyearsfellawayinhermind,back to the timeshehadmetbothRafaelMarkhamandTobyNewbury.Havinggrownup together, thetwohadbeenbestfriendsforyears.NotforamomenthadRafeseenafutureasPendaran'sking,butthatwasbeforemeetingKingAnton'sdaughter,Erica.Hisviewofaplaceinthepalacehadchangedagreatdealafterthatintroduction,andwithToby'sencouragement,RafehadcourtedEricawithaninterestthatturnedherhead.Veryimpressedwiththeyoung

11

manwho seemed ready to layhis lifedownonherbehalf,KingAntonandQueenKetra,nowKingRegentandQueenRegent,hadgiven thecouple theirblessing.InamonthRafeandEricawouldcelebratetheirthirty-secondweddinganniversary.

"Wallacetoldmeyouwerehere,"thekingsaidasheenteredtheroom."Hello,Toby."

"Goodmorning,Rafe."

Althoughhegreetedhisfriend,thekingmadeabeelineforhiswifeandbentto kissher. "Hello, love," he said softly before turning back toToby.Themenshookhandsbutdidn'texchangewords.RafesatdownandstaredatTobyforalongmoment.Theothermanlookedback.

"Ithinkyouhavesomethingonyourmind,Toby."

"You'reright,Ido,andsinceIhatebeatingaboutthebush,I'llcomerighttoit.It'saboutourconversationtwoweeksagoconcerningNick."

BothmennoticedthewayEricatensed,andRafe,whohadtakenaseatonthedavenportbesideher,reachedforherhand.

"I'vebeenprayingaboutthesituation,asItoldyouIwould,"Tobyexplained,"butthenlastnightImetayoungwomanwhomyouneedtoknowabout."

Rafesatforward.KnowinghowheandEricafeltaboutthemarriageoftheirson,hisfriendwouldnothavecomeonawhim.

"Whatishername?"

"ShelbyParker.Imetheratabanquethonoringherfather,whohasbeendeafsincehewasten.Shelbyinterpretedhisspeech."

"Sohedoesn'tspeak?"

"Actuallyhedoes."

"Whydidsheinterpret?"

"Protocol.Mostoftheroom'soccupantswerealsodeaf,soMr.Parkersignedhis speech, andShelbyvoiced for him. ImetShelby andher parents afterwedismissed.I'veneverbeensoimpressedwithafamilyinmylife."

12

"Howoldisshe,Toby?"ThiscamefromErica.

"Ididn'task.Shelooksyoung,butshe'soutofschool,soshemustbeinherearlytwenties."

"Whatwasitaboutherthatsoimpressedyou?"Rafeaskedhisfriend.

"Thefirstthingthatcatchesyoureyeishergracefulness.Whenshe'stalking,signing, or even walking, she moves like a dancer. She's tall and slim andextremelypoised.ThenafterImether,noticedherrelationshipwithherparents.Thethreeofthemadoreeachother.Theylaughedandsharedsecretsmileslikethetwoofyou.Youcan'tbewiththemandmissit."

"Andshe'sabeliever?"Ericatriedtokeepthetensenessfromhervoice,butevenshecouldheartheslightwobble.

"Yes.Herfathergaveabrieftestimonylastnight,anditincludedthesalvationofhiswife,son,anddaughter."

"Doyouknowforafactthatshe'snotspokenfor?"Rafeaskednow.

"Positively?No.ButIwouldbeverysurprisediftherewasanymaninherlifeoutsideofherfather."

Thekingandqueenlookedateachother.

"Iwasjustprayingaboutitagainthismorning,Rafe,"Ericasaidinhersoft,gentlemanner."ItoldGodIknewHewouldshowus,evenifIdidn'tknowwhatthatwouldlooklike."

Rafe smiled, his hand still holding hiswife's. "TheCouncil dismissed earlythismorning,soNickyand1hadafewminutestotalk.Ifeltaburdentotellhimagainhowproudweareofhisdecisiontogothroughwiththisandtotrustus.Hetoldmethatheknewitwouldn'tbeeasybutthatGodhadbeenworkingonhis heart.Hehas been asking for evengreater trust, and he knowshe'll neverneeditmorethanwhenhemarriesagain."

Forsomeminutesthethreefellsilent,theirthoughtsgoingtoPrinceNikolai,RafeandErica'sonlychild.Nikolai'sfirstwifehadbeenashyFrenchwoman.HernamewasYvetteDuBois,andthe

13

princehadadoredher.Stillquiteyoung,thetwohadmetwhileYvette'sfamilywasvisitingPendaran.TheycorrespondedformorethanayearbeforeNikolai,accompaniedbyhisparents,wenttoFrancetoaskforherhandinmarriage.Shewas two years older than he was, but that never mattered to the enamoredcouple.Withtheblessingofbothfamilies,theymarriedin1989,whenNikolaiwas20andYvettewas22.Thenwithoutwarning,Yvettediedofaheartattacktwoyearslater,leavingNikolaiawidower.

ForNikolaithelosswashuge.Pendaran'straditionswerenotworshiped,buttheywerehonoredandheld inhigh regard.Withaview to thebeloved royal-

familyline, theheir to thethronewasexpectedtobemarriedbythetimeheorshewas26.Nikolaimorethanmetthisrequirementuntilhiswifewastakenfromhim.Hadthedeathbeenclosertohistwenty-sixthbirthday,thetimewouldhavebeenextendedinaccordancetohisgrief,buttheCouncil,comprisedofmenwhosharedequalpowerandwererequiredtocometounanimousagreementoneverydecision, decided that forNikolai the traditionwould be upheld. If effortwasmadeandnowifecouldbefound,thetimewouldbeextended,butasitstood,Pendaran'sprincenowhadjustover18monthstomarryagain.

For a time courtship and remarriage were unthinkable to the still-grievingprince,butrecentlyhe'dcometohisparentswithasurprisingrequest.Itwasforthis reason they had asked Toby to pray, never dreaming that hewouldmeetsomeonehefoundsuitabletobetheprince'snextwife.

"IsthereanythingmoreIcando?"Tobyasked.

"Did your meeting with them go well? Were you well received?" Rafequestionedrightback.

"Verymuch so.Mrs. Parker heardme speak about two years ago, andMr.Parkerhasreadoneofmybooks.Hesaidheenjoyedit.Theywereverygraciousandkind."

RafelookedatErica,whosebrowwasfurrowedinthought.

14

"Doyouhaveanysuggestions,Rica?"

"Onlythatwefindoutalittlemorebeforeanythingissaid.Icertainlyhavenodesiretoinvadetheprivacyofthisfamily,butneitherdoIwantustoapproachShelby, upset her world, and then say, Tm sorry, we've just found out you'reunsuitableforourson.'"

Rafenodded."Apointwelltaken.Isthereanywaytodothissubtly,Toby?"

"Yes,Ibelievethereis.Ithinktheywouldwelcomeavisitfromme,andIcando sowithout deceit, because I genuinely liked them andwould enjoy seeingthem again. Beyond that, I can ask my man, Tyke, to make a few gentleinquiries.He'llbeverydiscreet.AsEricasaid,weneed to respect the family's

privacy.Itwouldn'tbefairtoeitherNickorShelbytorushinandmakeamessofthings."

"NickorShelby,"Ericasaidsoftly."Ithasaniceringtoit,butI'mafraidtohope."

"Notafraidtotrust,however"herhusbandsaidfirmly,hiseyesonhisspouse.

"No,"Erica agreed. "Not that."Her eyes swung to her husband's childhoodfriend."Dogoandseethem,Toby,wouldyou?Andthencomebackandtellusifyouthinkweshouldpursuethis."

"I'lldoit.JustassoonasIcan,I'llvisittheirhome."

Nothingmorewassaidonthesubject,buteachonehaditinmind.Ericawenttofreshenupforlunchasthemenwalkedtothediningroom,butbeforejoiningthemdownstairs,shetookapenandmarkedhercalendar,usingspecificwordingabout Toby's visit. She almost immediately regretted the action, knowing itmightmakeheranxiousuntilhehadnews.Shemadeherselfturnawayfromthepage.

Whoof you byworrying can add a single hour to his life?Erica'smindwassuddenlyonJesus'wordsfromaverseinMatthew6.Aquestionyou

15

woulddowell toremember,Erica,shesaid toherself.Withaprayer tocarryoutthethought,shewentdownstairstojointhemen.

The king only glanced at the small photo provided forHim before readingdownthroughtheschooltranscriptsofShelbyLeighParker,hisbrowsrisingattheexcellentgrades.Toby'sman,Tyke,hadcertainlybeenthoroughandfast.Ithadbeen just11days sinceTobyhadcome to seehim.ApartofRafe'smindrebelledatthewholeideaofcheckinguponher,buthisson'sfacecametomindandhepressedon.

Thenextpagehe turned to listed school activities.Hewas again impressedwith her diligence and hard work. A copy of an article from her churchnewsletter, followedby a brief testimony about aBible study thatShelbywasinvolved inwith several otherwomen,was very informative.Clearly shewas

learning,andwhilethekingwasstruckwiththecontentofwhatshewrote,hewasalsostruckwith thewaysheexpressedherself.The twootherpagesweremiscellaneousfacts,allofwhichhefoundquiteinteresting.

In time, Rafe put the papers aside and glanced down to where Erica sleptbesidehimintheirbed.Thisyoungwoman,ShelbyParker,wasimpressive-therewasnoquestionaboutthat-buthowdidtheyproceed?

Rafefoundhimselfstaringacrossthedarkroomforsometimebeforefinallyreachingtoturnoffthelightandsettledownonhisownpillow.HehopedToby'svisittoseetheParkerfamilywouldprovidesomeanswers.

nm

Henley

"Thiscake isdelicious,"Toby toldDariaParker justamonthafterhe'd firstcalledonRafeandErica.Hehadcalledthemtoaskifhe

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couldvisit as soonasTykehadgathered the information.Ashe'd expected,theywereasgraciousandwarmashehadremembered.

"It's Josiah's favorite," Daria informed him, signing with courtesy for herhusbandasshespoketotheirguest.

"Hehasgoodtaste."

TobywatchedJosiahsmilebeforeShelby'sfatheraskedinhisquietway,

"Doyoulivefarfromhere,Mr.Newbury?"

"About40minutes.Iwaslookingforanexcusetocomeandvisitallofyouagain, and then I realized I had to deliver something just a fewmiles up theroad."

"Whydidyouwanttoseeusagain?"Dariaasked,asmilelightingherface.

"Iwasveryimpressedlastmonth,"Tobysaidhonestly.

The family surrounding him smiled at the compliment but didn't comment

further.SuddenlyTobywonderedifthismightnotbeabitawkward.

"Areyouworkingonabookrightnow,Mr.Newbury?"

Thisquestioncamefrom theonepersonhewantedmost to speakwith,andTobynotonlyfeltrescuedbutwasgladofanexcusetotalkdirectlytoher.

"Iam,actually.It'sanin-depthstudyguidetothebookofGenesis.I'malmostfinishedwithit."

Shelbyquestionedhimmoreabouttheprocess,hispublisher,andhowswiftlyhewouldstartanotherbookwhenthecurrentonewascomplete.

Tobywasmorethanhappytotellhereverythingshewantedtoknow,andbythetimeheleftanhourlater,hewasmoreconvincedthaneverthatthiswasthewomanforNikolai.

"Whyexactly,Toby?"Rafequestionedhimwhentheyspokeonthephonethatevening.

"At the riskofyour thinkingI'mfalling forher,Rafe, I can't say it anyotherwaythantotellyoushe'sperfect.Herparentshave

17

certainlydonetheirhomework.Istilldidn'tmeettheirson-he'satschoolrightnow-butthefourofusneverranoutofthingstotalkaboutandShelbywasasgraciousandintelligentasIremembered.IfIhadwishedtomarryandGodhadblessedmewithchildren,Iwoulddesiremyownsontomeetsuchagirl."

"Allright,Toby.Thankyouforeverythingyou'vedone.IbelieveI'llwritealettertoMr.Parker.Doyouthinkitwillbewellreceived?"

"Absolutely.Ican'tsayhewon'tbesurprised,butfromwhat1knowofhim,he'saverylevelheadedman."

"Canyousupplymewithanaddress?"

"Yes,Ihaveitrighthere."

Rafehungupthephonejustminutes later.Hesatat themassivedeskinhisstudy and stared across at the book-filled shelves that surrounded him. The

fading daylightwas at his back, and for longmoments he simply prayed.HethankedGodforthewonderfulsonHehadseenfittogivethem.Ithadnotbeeneasy,butNikolaihadbeenwortheverymomentofheartache.HeaskedGodtogivehimthewordsheneededandpickeduphispen.

Henley

Daria studiedher husband's surprised face as he stoodwith the letter in hishand.

"Areyouallright?"shefeltaneedtoask.

"Ithinkso,"heanswered,immediatelyhandingherapieceoffinestationary.Theenvelopehaddroppedtothefloor.Hehadbeenhomefromworkonlyafewminutes-he had a barbershop downtown-and had not had a chance until thatmomenttolookatthepost.TheletterfromKingRafewasnotexactlyshocking,butitwasasurprise.

"Josiah,whywouldthekingwanttomeetwithyou?"

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"Ihaven'tanyidea,butdidyounotice?Hewouldpreferourmeetingbekeptbetweenthetwoofus."

"Shouldyouhavetoldme?"Dariaasked.

"Youmustnothavefinishedtheletter,"hesaid."Hesaysattheendthathe'llunderstand my need to discuss it with my wife, but to please keep the letterconfinedtothetwoofus."

For a moment they sat without moving. Daria read the letter completelybeforehandingitbacktoJosiah.

"Soyou'regoingtomeethim."Daria'sreplywasastatement,notaquestion.

"Certainly.I'mgoingtoreplyrightnow."

Josiahdidjustthat,abitrattledbyitalt.Heforgothehadn'ttoldthekinghewouldhavehiswifealonguntilafterhewalkedbacktotowntomailthenote.

Nomatter,hethoughtashewentupthestonestepsandintohishouse.Ihaveto

haveherwithme,andthat'sallthereistoit.

Faraday

TherestaurantwhereJosiahhadbeeninvitedtomeetthekingwassmallbutnot what anyone would call crowded. The dining facilities included privaterooms.Josiahwasusheredintooneofthem,wherehemetPendaran'sking.HeimmediatelyexplainedhishearinglossandhisneedtohaveDariainterpretforhim.Thatwomanwasinthecar,sickwithnervesandfeelinglikeaninterloper.

She need not haveworried.The queenwas along, and bothRafe andEricaweredelightedthatJosiahhadbroughthiswife.Shewassummonedfromthecarandinshortordermetthequeenandkingherself.

"It'ssograciousofyoutocome,"Ericawastednotimeinsaying.

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"Wefeelquitehonored,"Dariasaidsincerelyasthetwoshookhands.

"Please sit down " theking badethem and waited for everyone to getcomfortableatthesmall,squaretable.

"Ericahasaskedahugefavorofme,"hebeganalmostassoonastheywereseated."She'saskedthatInotkeepyouinsuspense,soevenbeforeweeat,I'dliketotellyouwhyIwantedtomeetwithyou."

Both Josiah andDarianodded, relaxing in thewarmthof theking'smannerandwords.

"TobyNewbury is a close friend ofmine,"Rafe continued. "Iwould neverwantyoutothinkhewasspyingonyourfamily,buthewasveryimpressedwithall of you, andmost especiallywith your daughter, Shelby. She's the reason Iwantedtomeetwithyou."

Rafetookabreathandplungedon."Ifyouhavenoobjections,IwouldliketospeakwithShelbyaboutmarryingourson,Nikolai."

Daria felt the blood drain from her face but was incapable of speech ormovement.Josiahwasinmuchthesameshape.Dariahadsignedthewordsforhim,buthaditnotbeenfortheshockonherface,hewouldhavebeencertain

he'dmisunderstood.

"Itsoundssocrudeandunfeeling,"Ericainsertedsoftly."Wehopeandpraythatyou'renotoffended.We'requiteeagertodorightbyeveryone,butweknowit'sallsounusual."

"MayIaskyouaquestion?"Dariasaid,finallyfindinghervoice.

"Pleasedo."Rafe'slowanswerandsinceregazetoldherofhisowneagernesstoplease.

"WhyShelby?Ofcourse,wethinkshe'swonderful,butshe'snevertalkedofmeetingeitherofyou."

"I'msorry1didn'texplainfromthebeginning,"Rafebegan."RecentlyNikolaihascometousforhelpinfindingasecondwife.

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WeaskedTobytobeprayingwithusaboutit,andthenhemetyourfamilyatadinnersomeweeksago.HecametousthenextmorningandsaidhewasveryimpressedwithShelby.

"I will admit that we have made some discreet inquiries, and although wehaven't had the privilege of meeting Shelby in person, we are also veryimpressedwithyourdaughter."

"Somuchsothatyouwishhertobecometheprincess?"Josiahquestioned.

"Not against your wishes, or hers," Rafe swiftly assured him. "We had nodesiretoupsetyourfamilyorShelby'sworldbyrushinginandmakingamessofthis,andifwe'vedonesoalready,wearedeeplysorry.ButbothEricaandIfeelagreatpeaceaboutthis.Ifyouhavenoobjectionsandbelieveshewillhearusout,wewould like togo toherwith thequestion. Ifyoufeelshewon'tbe theslightestbitinterested,thenwewon'tbotherherwiththisatall."

"Iassumewe'respeakingofamarriageofconvenience?"Dariaasked.

"I'msureitwillstartoutthatway.Ihopeandprayitwillbecomemore."

Therewasnoreasontoaskwhytheycouldn'tholdoffonthemarriageuntiltheyhad"more."Youcouldn'tliveinPendaranandnotbeawareofthetradition.

Looking at their surprised faces, Erica rushed to reassure them. "We'llcertainlyunderstandifyoudon'thaveananswerforusrightnow."

JosiahandDarialookedatoneanother.Shelby'sfathertookamomenttoreadhiswife'sfacebeforesaying,"Asamatteroffact,Idon'thaveanyobjectionstoyour speaking with Shelby. I can promise you that she'll have dozens ofquestions,andDariaandIwouldliketobetherewhenyoumeetwithher,butIfeelhonoredthatyouwouldconsiderourdaughtersuitablefortheprince."

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ItwasnowRafeandErica'sturntobeataloss.

"Pleasedon'tmisunderstandus,"Dariawenton."We'renotsayingShelbywillagree,andasyoumightexpect,wewouldneverpressurehertodoso,butourdaughterisaveryclearheadedyoungwoman.IfshebelievesshecanserveGodandhercountryinthisway,she'llagree."

"Andyouwouldsupporther?"thekingaskedofJosiah.

"Yes.Aslongaswewerecertainthatshehadgiventhematterenoughthoughtandthatshewouldbesafeandcaredforatthepalace."

Theyeventuallyatelunch,butboththeParkersandthekingandqueenpartedwithafeelingofunreality.Ericathoughthowshewouldhavereactedifsomeonehadcometoherwithsuchanoffer.ShehadfearedtheParkersmightrunforthehills;thefactthattheyhadn'twasthemostamazingthingtothequeen.

TheParkerswere justasoverwhelmed.Drivinghomethey tried todecide iftheyhaddreamedtheentireepisode.

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ThePrincess

two

Henley

Shelby looked around the reception area at the hospital andwonderedwhattheotherwomenwouldsayifshesuddenlyannouncedthatthekingandqueenwouldbeatherhouse tonight.Shehadno intentionoffollowingthroughwiththethought,butevenifshehad,theywouldonlythinkherjoking,itwasn'tthatShelbywasknownasaprankster;itwasjustsounlikelythatthelovelyredhead,whowouldn'tevendatetheinternswhogawkedather,couldpossiblydrawtheinterestofthepalace.

Amoment latershedugapieceofgumfromherpurseandspottedher list.Shehadbeenworkingonherquestionsfor thekingandqueenfor the last tendays. Tonight she would have a chance to voice them. She was certain thatwithinanhourtheywouldknowhowunsuitableshewas,butatleastshemightbeabletounderstandwhytheywereaskingher.Forthedozenthtimeshewishedherparentshadaskedmorequestions,butsheunderstoodwhytheyhadnot.Thiswas a decision theywould leave up to her, unless they sensed that somethingwasamiss.

"You'reoff,Shelby,"oneofthewomenbrokeintoherthoughts."Orareyouonuntilsix?"

"No,I'moffatfive.Thanks,Alice.I'llseeyoutomorrow."

"She certainly looked preoccupied," another woman commented as theywatchedhermoveaway.

"Yes,shedid.Ifitwereanyoneelse,Iwouldsayshehadadate."

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ThewomenlikedShelby,sotheyonlysmiledateachotherwithoutmaliceandwentbacktowork.

"Areyouallright,Shelby?"herfatheraskedduringdinner.

"Yes.I'mjustabitstunned.Imean,I'vehadmorethanaweektothinkaboutthis, but it's all too fantastic to be real."She cockedher head to one side andstaredatherparents."Youdon'tseemsurprisedatall."

"Wewereat first,"hermother saidwithawry tone, "butwhenallwassaidanddone,you'reright,weweren'tthatsurprised."

"Howcanyousaythat?"

"Becauseit'strue,honey.Youmakeawonderfulfirstimpression,whichwasobviouslythecasewithTobyNewbury,andwhenpeoplereallygettoknowyou,theyloveyouallthemore."

Shelby didn't answer, but it wasn't hard to see what she was thinking. Herfathervoicedthethought.

"We are biased about you, Shelby, but not blind fools. You would do theprinceproud,andweallknowit."

Shelbysmiledathimandtriedtoeatalittlemore.Thequeasyfeelinginthepit ofher stomachdidn't help.Was this really happening?Thereweremomentswhen she just wasn't sure. She was still dawdling in the kitchen when thedoorbellrang;realitywascominginforafastlanding.

"Wewantyou to feel free toaskusanything,Shelby," thekingassuredherlater."Anythingatall."

"Allright.Thankyou."Shesmiledatthequeenforamomentandthenlookeddownatthepaperinherlap.

EricawasgladthatShelby'sattentionwasdiverted.Sheneededafewminutestocomposeherself.EversinceShelbyhad

24

walkedintotheroomandmetthem,Ericahadwantedtodanceandsing.Shewasthesweetestgirlshe'deverencountered.

"Ifeelalittlefunnyaboutthisfirstquestion,"Shelbybeganhesitantly,"butit'sratherimportanttome."

"Don'tworryaboutanything,"Rafesaid,smilingwarmly."Justask."

Shelbylookeduncomfortablebutstillmanagedtosay,"Whyisn't theprincetakingcareofthishimself?"

"Mywifeanswersthatbest,"Rafesaidgently."Willyoutellher,Erica?"

"Certainly1will,andI'mgoingtobeveryhonestwithyou,Shelby.Nickyis

stillverymuchinlovewithhisfirstwife.Henevergrewangryordistantafterherdeath,buthemissesher terribly.Hecame toussomeweeksagonowandsimply asked us to handle things for his future nuptials. He's very willing tomarryagainanduphold the tradition,buthedoesnot feelup tocourtshiporalarge,fancyweddingceremony."

Shelbynodded.She thought itmightbe something like that, but the answerbroughtupanotherquestion.

"Ishereallywillingtomarrysomeoneelseifhe'sstillsoinlovewithPrincessYvette?"

"Heis,Shelby,"thekingtoldher."Ican'tpromisethathe'llloveyouwithallhis heart, but Nikolai will be a faithful husband and committed to yourmarriage."

"WouldIliveatthepalace?"

"Yes,withNickyinthenorthquadrant."

"WhatwouldIdo?"

"Probablymuch ofwhat you do nowwith the exception ofworking at thehospital."

Shelbythoughtaboutthis.Shehadmanymorequestionsbutthoughtitmightbetimeforthemtoinquireofher.

"Doyouhave questions forme?" she asked softly, her feelings of unrealityshowingthrough.

25

"We do, several in fact, but we thought we would answer yours first," theking,feelingmuchlikehiswife,toldherwarmly.

Thisgaveherpause.

"I have a huge wardrobe. I'm always buying new things to wear," sheadmitted,and thequeendidnotmiss thesmileherparentsshared.Forherself,Erica wanted to laughwith delight at this lovely youngwomanwith the softbrowneyeswhowassuchamixtureofconfidenceandquestions.

"Ialsohaveacarandabicycle."

"Thereisplentyofroominthecarbarnforyourcarandbike."

"SoIcouldbringthingswithme?"

"Anythingyouwish."

"Theprincewon'tmind?"

"Notatall.Thepalacewouldbeyourhome."

"ButIcouldcomebackheretovisit?"

"Ofcourse."

"Butwhyme?"Shelbycouldn'thelpasking."Whydoesn'ttheprincemarryawomanhealreadyknows?"

"Wehavethoughtofthat,Shelby,andatfirstitwouldseemtomakesense,butin truth theprince isn't particularlydrawn to anyof thewomenheknows.Hetold us he felt that would be very awkward, especially if he began seeingsomeoneanditdidn'tworkout.Thisway,youwouldbothcomefromthesameplace."

"Butwhatifitdoesn'tworkoutforus?"

"If that'sahugeworry inyourmind, thenwewouldn'twantyou tocomeatall,"thekingsaidsoftly.Shelbylookedcompletelyatsea.

"Listen to me, Shelby," he said kindly, working to clearly express histhoughts."OurexpectationbeforeGodandmanisthatthisisgoingtobearealmarriage,notsometrialperiodortimeof testing.butamarriageineverysense.That the two of you may choose to wait for physical intimacy is only to beexpected,

26

butwewouldwantyoutomarryoursonwiththemindsetthatthisisforever.Nikolaihas thatmindsetbecausehe trustsour judgment. Ifyoudon'thave thesamefeelingsaboutthismarriage,unusual thoughitmaybe,weneedtothankyouforyourtimeandbeonourway."

Shelbynodded.Shehadunderstoodthatmarriagewasforeverandexplainedthatthequestionhadcomeoffthetopofherhead.Shedidn'taskmuchmoreofthem-atthemomentherthoughtsweretoomuddledforthat.Thequestionstheking and queen put to her in the next minutes were not very deep. Shelbyunderstoodwhy:Untilshewasalittlemorecertain,therewasnoneedforthemtointrudeintoherprivatelife.

Theconversationendedsometwohoursafter itstarted,aseveryoneseemedfatiguedandShelbyadmittedneedingsometimeto think.Rafewasmore thanhappy to grant it to her. She didn't linger downstairs long after the king andqueenleftbutwenttoherroomtothinkandreadherBible.Sheendedupdoingnothingbutpraying.

Is it normal that the idea of this does not horrify me, Lord? I'm actuallyconsideringthepossibilityofmarryingastranger.Ihavequestionscertainly,butI feel very reasonable about the answers. I've never even seen the prince inperson, but I remember when his wife died. I remember the picture of hisgrievingfaceinthenewspaper.Itsoundslikeheneedssomeonetotakecareofhim.Iscaringenoughofareasontobemarried?

Shelby suddenly stopped praying. She had more questions for the royalfamily, but theones inhermind rightnowneeded tobe askedofherparents.That they were not in the living room didn't stop her; she knocked on theirbedroomdoor.

"Comein,"hermothercalled.

"WereyouandFasleeping?"Shelbyasked,eventhoughtheirlightwason.

"No.Comein,honey."

27

Shelbysatattheendofthebedandstaredatherparentsforamoment.Atlastshesaid,"Iwanttoknowwhyyou'resocomfortablewiththis.Iwanttoknowwhyyouseemtobesittingbackasspectators."

"Becauseuntiljustnowyouhaven'tseemedtowanttospeakofit.Whenwefirsttalkedtoyou,youaskedusalotofquestionswecouldn'tanswer,butthenyouwantedtobealone."

Shelbynodded.Shehaddonejustthat.

"Whatdoyouthinkofallofthis,Fa?"shesignedtoherfather.

"Wethinkit'sagreathonor,butallthehonorintheworldwouldn'tmakemeagree to this ifNikolaididn't shareour faith inChrist.On topof that, IwouldneverhavementionedittoyouifIfeltyouwouldbemiserableorharmed.I'mnotsayingIthinkitwillbeeasy,butI'vekepttrackoftheprince'sactivitiesoffandonovertheyears-he'safascinatingandimpressiveyoungman.Asthekingsaid,]can'tbecertainhe'llfailhead-over-heelsinlovewithyou,butIdotrustthathe'llhonoryouashiswifeandtakecareofyoufortherestofyourlife."

"Doyouagree,Mother?"

"Yes,Shelby,Ido,butpleaseunderstandthatyourfatherandIarenotboundanddeterminedinthis.Ifyouhaveanydoubts-Idon'tmeannow...you'reboundtohavequestionsrightnow-butifyoucan'teventuallygainapeaceaboutthis,youmustnotdoit."

Shelby nodded. "I was thinking about the reasons someonemight have forgettingmarried. Iknow the twoofyoumarried for love. Is itwrongofme towanttogetmarriedsoIcantakecareoftheprince?"

"Idon'tbelieveitis,"herfatherspokeagain."Arrangedmarriagesusedtobecommon. Now, if you're still not living as husband and wife two years afteryou'remarried, I'll bewonderingwhy.When two people spend time together,theybecomeattracted

28

toeachother.Ashusbandandwife, itneeds tobeyourchoice to loveeachother."

"ButifIwanttodropthewholethingrightnow,youwon'tbeupsetwithme?"

"Notatall.You'llhe23attheendofthemonth,Shelby.You'renochild.Wetrustyoutobewiseanddiscerninginthis,andincaseyouneedit,youhaveourpermissiontotakeallthetimeyouneed.Iknowtheprincedoesn'thaveforever,butthat'snotwhatyou'retobethinkingabout.YoudowhatyoufeelisrightandbestbeforeGod."

Shelby warmly hugged both her parents and was able to retire to bed andsleep.Shedidn'thonestlyknowwhatsheshoulddo,butasherfathersaid,shemustn'trushintothis.Shefellasleepbelievingthatintimeshewouldknowthewaytogo.

"A letter came for you today, Shelby," hermother said just two days later.Gettingmailwasnothingunusual,butShelbyapproachedthetableslowlyafterhearing her mother's tone. Understanding dawned when she saw the prince'sname,NikolaiMarkham,inthecorneroftheenvelope.Shelbyopeneditslowly,satdownatthetable,andreadinamazement.

DearMissParker,

Ihopeyouwon't findmepresumptuous inwriting,butmyfather toldmeaboutmeetingyou,andIwantedtotakeafewminutestothankyouforyourgraciousmanner in receiving my parents, [can well imagine the surprise it must havebeen to hear their request, butmy father assuredme that you could not havebeenmorehospitableorkind.

Above all eke, I would not wish for you to feel pressured, so this letter issimply to advise you that whatever your decision concerning the future, Iappreciateyourwillingnesstoconsider

29

myfather'sproposalShouldyoueverdesireassistance, thepalacewouldbehappytohelpyouinanyway.

Godblessyouintheweekstocome,NikolaiMarkhatn

ThemomentShelbyfinishedtheletter,shewenttothekitchendeskforpaperandapen.Aftersittingbackatthekitchentable,shebegantowrite.

DearPrinceNikolai,

Afteryourkind letter, Ihopeyouwon't findmebold inwritingback,but intruthitneveroccurredtomethatIcouldcommunicatewithyouinthisway.ThereasonformyletteristolearnfromyouifImayasksomequestions.Ihavenowish topry intoyourprivate lifeor seem impertinent inanyway,but Iwouldwishtoknowalittlemoreaboutyou.

IfIhavebeenatalloffensive,pleasedisregardthisletter.1willunderstandifyoudonotreturnmynote.

Sincerely,ShelbyParker

Assoonasshewasthrough,Shelbyreadbothletterstohermother,whohaddesertedherdinnerpreparationstositdownatthetableandlisten.

"Whatdoyouthink,Mother?DidIdotherightthinginwritingback?"

"Ithinkyoudid.Youdidn'tpepperhimwithquestions,butnowtheballisinhis court as towhether or not he'swilling to open up to you. I just have twoquestions foryou: Ifhedoesgetback toyou,whatwillyouask,andwhatdoyouhopetolearn?"

"I'llaskhimalittleabouthislifeandinterests,butrightnowIwanttohearhistestimony.AstowhatIhopetolearn,I'vealreadylearnedquiteabit."

"Meaning?"

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Shelby picked up the prince's letter. "This is very impressive,Mother; youmust admit that.He's still in lovewith his firstwife, yet he thanksme, in somanywords,forconsideringapositionashisfuturewife.Ican'tbelieveitwaseasyforhim."

HadShelby been able to see into the palace just two days later, she'd haveknownhowclosely shehit themark.PrinceNikolai sat athisdeskand stareddownataphotoofhiswife.Hedidn'tregretthathe'dwrittentoShelbyParker-hewasjustsorrythattherehadbeenaneedtocontactheratall.

"Oh,Yvette,"hesaidsoftly,"willIevernotmissyou?"

Nikolai made himself set the photo aside. He was supposed to be puttingtogetherthefinishingtouchesonareportthatwastobepresentedtotheCouncil.He had just researched the alarming number of dropouts in the local district'sschoolsystemandwasreadytotellthememberswhathehadlearned.

Ifhewasgoing to thinkofanywomanrightnow, itneeded tobehis futurewife,whoevershemightbe.Hisparentshadbeenvery impressedwithShelby

Parker, and he could tell they were excited. It had taken everything withinNikolai not to let onhowmuchhe hurt inside. Itwasn't that his parentswereinsensitive-theylovedhimverymuch-buttheyhadmovedpastYvette'sdeath.Inmanywayshehadnot.

Thephoneonhisdeskrang,andhereachedforit.Itwashishouseminister.

"PrinceNikolai,Mr.Cumberlandisheretoseeyou.Areyouavailable?"

"Yes,Murdock.PleasetellhimI'llberightout."

NikolaiknewhewouldhavetoputinsomeovertimetohavethereportreadybyMondaymorning,butnotforanythingwouldhemissavisitwithhisclosestfriend,RyanCumberlandIII.

"Nick!" Ryan came to his feet the moment Nikolai stepped into the smallantechamberoutsidehisoffice.

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"Ryan."Nikolai'sgreetingwas just aswarmas the twomenembraced. "Doyoutositintheofficeorwalkinthecourtyard?"

"I'mhereonbusiness,soit'llhavetobetheoffice."

"Thissoundsserious."

"It is," Ryan stated as he dropped into a comfortable chair."Youare in bigtrouble."

"Me?"Nikolaiquestioned.Hehadsatdownbutnotleanedback."WhathaveIdone?"

"It'swhatyouhaven'tdone."

Nikolaididn'tneed tohearmore.Movingratherdeliberately,he lethisbackrestagainstthechairbeforeasking,"How'sBeth?"

Ryanallowedthechangeinsubject."She'sstartingtowaddle."

"Howmanyweekstogo?"

"Aboutsevenifshe'sontime,butthedoctorwon'tmakeanypromisesabout

that."

"Becertaintogivehermylove."

"You could come by and do that in person,"Ryan said softly, coming rightbacktothefirstsubject.

"I'msorryIhaven'tbeenoutmuch,Ryan."

"Why haven't you, Nick?" his friend asked gently. "It's been at least twomonthssinceyouvisited."

For a moment Nikolai didn't answer. He glanced at Yvette's picture beforelookingbackathisfriend."MotherandFatherarelookingforawifeforme.I'mallrightwithit,butIhaven'tfeltverysocialsincewestartedtalkingaboutit."

Ryansatforwardinhischair."They'veactuallyfoundaparticularwoman,orthey'rejustmakingsomeinquiries?"

"Theyhavefoundawoman,andalthoughit'shighlyunlikely,Ifearrunningintoherandhavingthewholethingbeanawkwardmess."

"Whoisit?"

"HernameisShelbyParker."

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Ryanblinked."DoessheworkatthehospitalinHenley?"

"I'mnotcertain.Why?"

"Whenmymotherwasinforthosetestsafewmonthsback,awomannamedShelbyParker came to seeher. I think she's a receptionist.Does shehave redhair?"

"Ithinkmymothersaidshedid."

Ryan's browsrose. "She'sa lovely young woman and extremely kind. Youhaven'tmether?"

"No.Myparentsarehandlingit."

Themenfellquiet.Rightaftertheprincessdied,manypeoplehadthoughttobe helpful."You'll go on, Nick,"they said."Think of the way you would havewantedYvettetogoonifyouhadbeentheonetodie."Ryanhadbeentheonlyperson with whom Nikolai had been completely honest."No one can picturethemselves dead, Ryan, and I'm no different. Selfish as I am, I wouldn't wantYvette to marry again. The thought of another man holding her drives meinsane"Rememberingthis,RyanwasnotsurprisedthatNikolaididnotquestionhimaboutthewomanfromthehospital.

Inhisownheart,however,Nikolaiknewthetimehadcome.Hisparentswerefindinghimawife,andhemustbemarriedbytheendofthefollowingyear.Ifhewasgoing todo the right thingby thewomanhisparents chose, hewouldlearntocareforherand,atleastintime,makeherhiswifeineveryway.Wherethestrengthtodothatwouldcomefrom,hedidnotknow.

"Yoursituationisnotgoingtobehelpedbyyourbecomingarecluse,"Ryansaid,choosingnottocommentonanythingelse."Iwon'tpretendtoknowhowmuch you hurt, but it's time you start circulating again. If you were alreadyremarried,noonewouldexpecttoseeyouformonthsoreventhefirstyear,butyou'restillsingle,andBethandIfeelasthoughyou'vedroppedoffthefaceoftheearth.Wehaveonlyafewmoreweeksbeforeourtimewillbetakenupwiththebaby.Comeseeuswhilewe'restilljusttwoadults."

33

"Iwill"Nikolaipromised."Bytheway,howisbusiness?Willyouhavesometimeoffoncethebabyisborn?"

"Yes.I'llbehomeforthefirstmonth.Ican'ttellyouhowI'mlookingforwardtoit."

"Andwhathappenstoyourclientsinthepractice?"

"I'vehandedoffafewthingsandwrappedupsomeothers.I'vesentwordtoallrayregulars,andI'mhopingtheywon'tforgetmyfineskillsinthecourtroombeforeIgetback."

The men talked for the next hour before saying their goodbyes, and whenRyanleft,NikolaideterminedtogoandseehimandBethrightafterchurchthe

nextmorning.Hisfriendwasright.Hewasdroppingoutofexistence.KnowingthatRyanwasprayingforhim,andwithhisownprayerforstrengthtodoasheknewheshould,Nikolaiwentbacktohisreport.Heworkedsteadilyforthenexthour, his concentration breaking only when Murdock delivered the late post.Nikolai lookedthroughitabsentlyuntilhehappenedonaparticular letter.Thenameintheuppercornercausedhimtoseteverythingaside.

Henley

"Hewrotebacktoyou,Shelby,"herfathersaidtoherabouttwoweekslater.Shehad just arrivedhome fromwork. "Yourmotherhad to runnextdoorandwantedmetotellyouassoonasyougotin."

"Thank you," Shelby replied softly as she sat down to read themissive. Itwasn'toverlylongbutjustasgraciousandkindashisfirst.Shecouldaskhimanything shewished, andhewanted toknow if shewouldwelcomequestionsfromhim.Shelbyhadtositforamomenttotakeitin.Shedidn'tknowhowitwouldalltranspire,butsomehowinherheartsheknewshewouldbemarryingtheprince.

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ThePalaceApril30,1995

Nikolaistoodaloneinhisbedroomandtoldhimselftobreathedeeply.Hehadthe window wide open, cool as it was, but still felt as if he were going tosuffocate. Thiswas hiswedding day. Resplendent in his black tux, he lookedtallerthaneverandveryself-assured,butintruth,hewassickinside.Hadhejustbeensitting inchurch thatmorningwithhisgrandparents?Thewholedaywasbeginning to feel like a dream. The last months were taking on the samesensation.

Letters had not poured out of him in the months following his firstcorrespondencewithShelby.Indeed,theyhadexchangedonlyaboutoneletteramonth,andthosehadbeenfulloffacts,notfeelings.Thosefewletters,however,wereenough to tell him that thewomanhewasmarryingwasawarm, caringwomanwholovedtheLordwithallherheart.Still,onefactwasglaringlyclear-shewasnotYvette.Forthatreasonhisheartfeltbrokeninside.

Nikolaigavehimselfalittleshake.Hehadmuchtobethankfulfor,anditwastime to remember that. Shelbyhadbeenbeyondgraciouswhen it came to hisrequests not to have a largewedding or a reception. She had not expected tomeet him, telling his parents that she was comfortable with their handling ofthings.Butwhataboutafterthewedding?Wouldsheunderstandthathe

35

wouldneedsometimetoadjust?Heonlyhopedshewould,ashehadlittleofhimselftogiveheratthemoment.

Amomentofstubbornanger rose inhim thathewasbeingforced into this.Afterall,itwasonlyApril.Theycouldpostponetheweddinguntilfallandstillbe well within the allotted time. A huge sigh lifted his chest. It was no useputtingitoff.

ItoldmyfatheronetimethatwhenImarriedagain,IwouldneedtolearntotrustYouinanewway.Idon'tthinkIreallyunderstoodjusthowhardthatwouldbe.Pleasehelpme,Lord,andShelby too.Helpher tounderstandmyneed fortime.Helphertobepatientwithme.

Nikolai'sprayerwasinterruptedbyhisfather'sknock.Hecameinuninvited,butNikolaididn'tmind.Therewasn'tanyoneelsehewantedtoseerightnow.

"Howareyou?"Rafeaskedwhenhewascloseenoughtoseehisson'seyes.

"Notsogood,butreadytogoahead."

Rafe's eyes were tender as they rested on his only child. "Have I told youlatelythatIloveyou?"

Nikolaigavehisfatherahugthatwashugelyreturned.BothknewthatGodhadbeenleadingalloftheminthelastmonthsandthateventuallyallwouldbewell.Soalikeinheight,themensharedalonglookbeforeheadingforthedoor.

DariaglancedaroundthespaciousbedroomandsittingroomandthenlookedtoShelbywitharaisedbrow.

"Didyouknowitwasblack?"

"NotuntilIvisitedatthebeginningoftheweek.TheytoldmeIcouldchange

things."

"Willyou?"

"Idon'tknow."Shesoundedasuncertainasshefelt.

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"Butyouhateblack."

"True,butifthiswasYvette'sfavoriteroom,IthinkIneedtolivewithitforatime."

Dariamovedforwardandhuggedher."Ithinkyou'rewonderful."Shesteppedbackand lookedherdaughter in theeye. "If theprincedoesn't figureouthowpreciousyouare,Imightcomebackandtellhimmyself."

"Youmighttoo."

Dariasmiled.Intruth,shefeltnosuchanxiety.OfthisDariawascertain:Atsomepoint,theprincewouldfallforhisnewprincess.

"Well,notmuchtimenow.Areyouready?"

"IthinkIam.I'mfeelingalittlenervous,butIthinkthatwilldisappearwhenIputonmyveil."

Dariasmiled."Youlookbeautiful.I'msogladwechosethisdress."

Shelbywasgladtoo.Itwasasimplegownofclassiclines,high-neckedandlong-sleeved-not overly done with lace. It suited Shelby and made her feelspecial.Theveilhadlacetomatchthegown,butitsmostimportantfeaturewasthedenselacethatwouldcoverShelby'sface.Sheknewherselftobeawomanwho blushed easily, and the thought of standingwith the prince, lit up like abeaconduringtheentireceremony,washorrifictoher.

"I'vebeenthinkingalotaboutarrangedmarriages,"Dariasaidsoftly."They'resounusual,butoneinparticularkeepscomingtomind."

"Whichoneisthat?"

"IsaacandRebekah."

Shelbynodded.

"Ireadthatpassageoverseveraltimesthismorning"Dariacontinued,"andIguessbecauseI'mawoman,andwomen tend tobeemotional, Ican'tgetoverthewayshegoesintohistentassoonasthey'remarried."

3737

"I've read that too.Do you suppose their intimacy began immediately aftertheyweremarried?"

"Itreadsasifitdid."

"Arewewrongtowait,Mother?"

"Areyousureyouwillbewaiting?"Dariaasked.Thispossibilityhadneveroccurredtoheruntilnow.

"Iwouldn't swear to it,"Shelbysaidcalmly,"but ifyoucouldhavereadhisletters,Mother,youwouldseewhyIthinkwe'llwait.Thismanhasnotopenedhis heart to me. I know a good deal about him, but unless everyone hascompletely misrepresented to me how much he misses his first wife, ourintimacywillwait."

"HaveIupsetyou,Shelby?"Dariaasked,herfacepale."Ineverthoughtyouwoulddoanythingbutwait,andthensuddenlyIwasn'tcertain."

"I'mnotupsetatall,Mother.Pleasedon'tworryabout it. If I'mwrong,"shesaidpragmatically,givingasmallshrug,"Ihopewecan talkabout itandhe'lllistentome."

Daria smiled at her.She's so special, Father. I know it'smore thanmy bias.She'sapreciousgirl,and1achewith love forher.Letherandtheprince findthatsamelove.

"DidFasayhewascominghere?"

"Yes.Heshouldbealonganyminute."

"I'mstartingtofeelnervous."Shelbyglancedaroundtheroom;thedarkdecordidlittletocheerher."Ithinkifwecouldjustgetgoing,I'dbeallright."

Dariadidnotrespond.Shewalkedtothedoor,openedit,andpeekedout,onlytoturnandshrugatherdaughter.

Shelbynoddedandwenttothewindow.Inawayshedidn'twanttorushthis.Itwastobeheronlyweddingday,andalthoughnotconventionalinanysenseoftheword,shewantedtorememberit.

Atthewindow,shegazedoutwithasmile.ShewassuretobehomesickforthehouseinHenley,nottomentionherparents,

38

buttheviewoftheparkfromherbedroomwindowwouldcertainlytakehermindfromit.

Amomentlaterherfatherknocked.Theywerereadyforher.Dariakissedhercheekandthenhelpedheradjustherveil.Amomentlatershewasalonewithherfather.

"Ready?"

Lookingupathim,Shelbynodded."IthinkIam.Areyouready?"

"Tolosemygirl?Never."

Itwassaidwithasmilebeforehekissedherbrow,waitedforhertolowertheblusher,andthenofferedhisarm.Theymovedtowardthedoor,bothwithamixofemotions.Themomenthadarrived.WherewouldGodtakethemfromhere?

Nikolaiwatchedhisbridecomeintotheking'sballroomonherfather'sarm,almostsaggingwithreliefwhenhesawherveil.Heknewshecouldseehim,buthewasn'tuptomeetinghereyes.Hewasn'tcertainwhyhethoughtitwouldbeeasiertowait,butatthemomentheknewhewasthebiggestcowardalive.

Shelby,ontheotherhand,wasanythingbutrelieved.Sheknewtheprincewastall-verytall-justliketheking,butthemanherfatherhandedherovertotoweredaboveher.Heglanceddownather,his lookserious,asshesuspecteditwouldbe,butjustthesightofthattallframeandhandsomefacecausedShelbytoblushalarmingly.Shesuddenlyaskedherselfhowshecouldhave thoughtheneededsomeonetotakecareofhim.Helookedasself-possessedasanymancould.Shethoughtshemightneedachair.

"Dearlybeloved"PastorAllenbegan suddenly, andShelby forcedhermindbacktowhyshewasthere.Thementaleffort

39

didn'tworkforverylong.Sheendeduphavingaridiculousconversationwithherself.

Sohe'stall,Shelby.Whatdoyoucare?At5'8"you'renotexactlyshort.Okay,soI'maboveaverage,buthe'seventallerthanmyfatherandtheking.Hemusthe6'3"atleast.

"Marriageisnotsomethingtobetakenlightly,"PastorAllensaid,andShelbycame back to the moment, her face still flaming. "It is to be entered intoreverently,withaheartofcommitment."

Shelbyheardthewordcommitmentandfeltherselfgrowcalm.Shewasnotunusual.Shewantedloveandromanceasmuchasthenextperson,butfromthetime she gained a peace about marrying the prince, she knew she would becommitted to thismarriage. Itwasunconventionalandabitscary,butshehadseensomethinginthekingandqueen,aswellasintheprince'sletters,thattoldhershecouldhonorGodinthisway.Wouldtheprincebepleasedtoknowshewasdoingitfor thatreason?Atthispoint itwashardtosay,butShelbyknewherownheart,andthatheartwasfilledwithcommitmentandpeace.

"Do you, Shelby Leigh Parker, take Nikolai Rafael Markham to be yourlawfullyweddedhusband?"PastorAllenwassayingtoher.

"Ido," she said softly, listeningas thepastor addressed themanbesideher,andthenasNikolai'sdeepvoicesaidhisownvowwithoutahintofhesitation.Not manyminutes later, they were husband and wife. Shelby watched as theprinceshookPastorAllen'shand,turned,brieflymetherfamily,andthenofferedher his arm. The moment Shelby took it they began to walk from the room.Vaguelyawareofherparentsandherbrother,Brice,shebarelycaughtsightofthe king, queen, king regent, queen regent, and even the slightly bent queenmother,allofwhomstoodontheprince'ssideoftheaisle.

Shelbywasnotcompletelyfamiliarwiththepalace.She'dhadonlyonetour.Butsheknewtheywrereheadedbacktowardthenorthquadrant.Inseemingly

notimeatalltheystoodinthe

40

spacious sitting room, thegreen sitting roomasMurdockhad called it, thatwasaccessiblefrombothoftheirbedrooms.Oncethere,theprincestoppedandfacedShelby.

"Areyouallright?"heasked.

"Iam,yes.Areyouallright?"

Shewatchedhimhesitate;dearlyhehadn'texpectedhertoreturnthequestion.Hestoodlookingdownather,makingnomovetoliftherveil.

"I believe I am," he said at last. "I wanted to thank you for coming to thepalacethisway.Ifthere'sanythingyouneed,justask.Thestaffismosthelpfulandwilldelighttoserveyouinanyway."

Shelbywatchedashepausedbutmadeherselfkeepsilent.

"Iwish,"hebegansoftlybutstopped."I'msorryIcan't-"Againshewatchedhim hesitate, his eyes looking like those of a wounded animal. Abruptly heturnedandwalkedaway.Shelbyfollowedhisprogress,evengoingsofarastoliftherveiltowatchhim.Hedidnotturnback,butwhenhereachedthedoor,heslippedquietlyintothewidehallway.

The moment of doubt she'd had in the king's ballroom was long gone.Confidentairornot,itwasagainutterlycleartoherthattheprinceneededgreatcare.

Shelby'sfirstnightinthepalacewasnotrestful,butshedidn'tfeeltoobadinthe morning. Rising a little before six, she showered and dressed casually,mentallygoingoverthelayoutofhernewhome.Afteramoment'sthoughtshewassureshecouldfindthekitchen.Shemadeherwaydownstairsandtotherearofthequadrant,throughalargediningareaandintothespacious,spotlesslytiledkitchen.Theroomwasempty,butsomeonehadputcoffeeon.Shelbyfoundamug,pouredthearomaticbrew,and

41

tooka chair at the table.The flavoredcoffeewasdelicious.Shewas joinedinsideoftwominutes.

"Good morning, Princess Shelby," Arlanda said with a smile. She was thehousekeeperforthenorthquadrant."Didyousleepwell?"

"IthinkIdidallrightforthefirstnight."

Arlanda,lookingwisebeyondheryears,smiledather."Ithinkthatwasyourwayofsayingitwasabitrough."

Shelbysmiledatbeingcaught.Shehadmetthiswomanjustafewdaysbeforeandlikedherinaninstant;indeed,shehadlikedallthestaff.

"Howaboutsomebreakfastinthesmalldiningroom?"Arlandaoffered.

"WillIbeinthewayifIstayhere?"

"Notatall.Whatareyouhungryfor?"

"Wereyougoingtoeatnow?"

"I'veeaten,butI'dbehappytofixwhateveryou'dlike."

"IthinkI'lljusthavecereal."

"I'llbringyousome."

Shelbydidn'ttrytostopher;shesimplynotedwhereeverythingwaslocatedsoshecouldhelpherselfinthefuture.

"Morecoffee?"Arlandaofferedasshesetthingsdownonthetable.

"Areyouhavingsome?"Shelbyquestioned,andArlandahadtohideasmile.So far, the princess had answered half of the questions directed to herwith aquestionofherown.

"Iam,"Arlandasaid,decidingswiftly."I'lljustbringthepot."

AfterShelbyhelpedherself to thecerealand fruit thatappeared, shebowedherheadandthankedGodforthefood.Hermindthoughtful,shethenspoonedsugarontohercereal,addingmilkandstrawberries.

"MayIaskyouaquestion,Arlanda?"Shelbyaskedbetweenbites.

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"Certainly.Anythingatall."

"Doesthestafflivehereatthepalace?Ican'trememberifMurdocksaid."

"Mostofusdo,yes.MurdockismarriedtoFran-Ithinkyoumether.Shedoesthe cooking. They have quarters right off the kitchen.Gilbert andHank,whotakecareofthecarsanddosomeofthegroundswork,liveabovethecarbarn.SodoesKris.GilbertismyfatherandHankismybrother,bytheway."

"Oh,1didn'trealize."

ArlandawasinthemidstofexplainingwhereherroomwaswhentheywerejoinedbyMurdockandFran.

"Goodmorning,"Shelbygreetedthem.Theylookedasdelightedtoseeherastheyhadwhentheyfirstmether.

"Good morning, Princess Shelby," Murdock returned. His very mannerbegged to serve. "Is there anything I can get for you? Would you be morecomfortableinthediningroom?"

"I'mfinehere,thankyou."

"Howwasyourroom?Didyoulackforanything?"

"No.It'sallverynice."

"Whenever you're ready,"Murdock said as he opened a thick leather bookhe'dsetonthetable,"I'mfreetogooveryourdailyandweeklyschedulewithyou.You don't have anything scheduled today until noon, when the king andqueenregentareexpectingyoutojointhemforlunch."

Shelbynodded, thankful that thequeenhadwarnedher of the schedule shewouldhave.MostactivitieswouldbearrangedthroughShelby,butsomewouldcomethroughMurdockwho,knowingherscheduleaswellastheprince's,mightacceptforher.Shelbywasalwaysfreetocancel.

"Doesthatworkforyou,PrincessShelby?"

ShelbysuddenlyrealizedthatMurdockwaswaitingforan

43

"Yes. That's fine. I'm not sure, however, if I can find the door to the southquadrant."

"ArlandaorIwillseeyouthere."

Shelbysmiled,butinsideshehadquestions.Wouldtheprincebethere?Wastheprinceeveninthepalacerightnow?Withthewaytheirroomsweresetup,itwasfairlyeasynottoseeeachother,butshehadthevagueimpressionthatifhewas around, she would know it. There was a door in her bedroom that leddirectlyintotheprince'sbedroom,butShelbywouldn'thavegoneneariteveniftherehadbeenafire.

Theprincess finishedeating, thankedeveryone in thekitchen,andmadeherwayback to her room, hermind still on themeal at noon. Shewouldn't haveriskedanywagersonthematter,butsomethingtoldShelbythattheprincewouldnotbeinattendance.

"The queen was hoping to have breakfast with you this week. She saidWednesdayorFridaywouldworkforher"Murdocksaidlaterthatmorningashelooked over the appointment book on the table in front of him and then toShelby's.TheywereworkinginShelby'ssittingroom.

"Eitherdayisfineforme."

"Allright.Let'sgowithWednesday,andifwehavetochange,I'lltellyou."

ShelbymadeanoteevenasMurdockwenton to sayhewouldconfirm thetimewithherlater.Theyworkedovertheentireweek'sscheduleandevenwentinto the next week before finishing. Shelby was closing her book when thephonerang.MurdockmadehiswaytothedoorasShelbypickeditup.Itwastheking.

"Goodmorning,Shelby."

44

Mi

"Goodmorning."

"I'msorry todisturbyou,but Ihave something Ineed toaskyou. Isnowagoodtime?"

"Yes.I'mquitefree."

"Good.Have you heard of theRoyalCareCenter for theElderly? It's righthereinFaraday."

"I'mfamiliarwithit.Someyearsagomygrandmotherlivedthereforabrieftime."

"Shedid?That'sveryinteresting,andI'lltellyouwhy.Thecarecenterlikestohave a representative from the royal family on their board of directors. Thequeenmotherservedformanyyears,butshecurtailedmostofherdutiesaboutfouryearsago.Sincethennoonehasreplacedher.Thecentercontactsmeeverysooftenaboutgettinginvolvedagain,andnowintheearlypostI'vehadanotherletter.IwilladmitthatIimmediatelythoughtofyou."

"Whatisinvolved?"

"The directors meet and go over business about once every two months.Beyondthat,thedutiesarelight.You'rewelcometovisitorjointheresidentsforamealanytimeyoulike."

"Woulditbepossibletoseetheletteryoujustreceived?"

"Certainly.I'llsendallmycorrespondencewiththecentertoyou.Wallacewillbringitoverwithinthehour."

"Allright."

"Shelby?"

"Yes?"

"Youdon'thavetodothis.Ididthinkofyou,andyourbeingfamiliarwiththecenterhelps,but ifyoudon'twant toget involvedrightnow,111simplythankthemfortheirletterandwe'lldropit."

"I'llrememberthat."

"Callmeifyouhaveanyquestions."

"Thankyou,sir."

"You'rewelcome,mydear.I'llcheckwithyoulater."

45

Shelbywasoff thephoneforsomeminutesbefore ithither.I'mtheprincess.I'm the princessof Pendaran. I'mlivingat thepalace and talking to the king asthoughitwereaneverydayoccurrence.

For a time Shelby had to sit very still. Pendaran was not a country whosecitizens had little to do but follow their royalty around and snoop into theirprivatelives,buteveryonewasawareoftheroyalfamily,andforthemostpart,the family was respected. The newspapers covered stories that the king andqueenreleased;infact,someonefromoneofthepaperswascomingonFridaytotakeherpicture,butasarule,Shelbyhadnotfollowedthemediaveryclosely.Sheknewaboutthebigevents,butlatelytherehadn'tbeenmanyofthose.

Willmymarriage to the prince be considered big? I hope not. I find I justwanttobeonmyown,lefttomyselftodomyjob.

ShelbyhadasuddenneedtoreadandstudyherBible.TheonlythinginherlifethatneverchangedwasGod'sloveforher.Shespentthenexthourstudyinginthebookof3Johnandpraying.Bythetimesheleft toeat lunchwithKingRegentAntonandQueenRegentKetra,herheadwasoutofthecloudsandherfeetwerefirmlyplantedontheground.

"Wewon'tkeepyouverylong,"Ketrasaidassoonasthethreewereseated."Nikolaiwasnot available for lunch, andweknowyoumustbebusy too. It'shardtosettleintoanewplace,andIamwellawareofhowstrangeitcanallbe."

Shelbyfeltherselfrelaxing.Ifmemoryservedhercorrectly,Antonhadbeenthe royal in thismarriage,notKetra.Shelby thought theymighthavemuch incommon.

"IamwonderingwhenI'llknowmywayaround,"Shelbyadmitted.

"There's always someone to ask," King Anton put in, "but a map wouldprobablyhelp."

46

"Yes,itwould,"Ketrainserted,"andIhavejusttheone.Antondrewamapformeafterweweremarried,andIknowIstillhaveit.It'sprobablyyellowedandbent,butI'llfinditafteryouleaveandsenditover."

"Thankyou,"Shelbysaidsincerely.

"Weenjoyedyourparentsandbrother,Shelby,"thekingoffered."Bricetoldmehe'sstudyingphysics.He'sanimpressiveyoungman."

"Ithinkso,"Shelbyagreed,"butthenI'mbiased.I'vereallymissedhimsincehewenttoschool."

"Andhowaboutnow?"thequeenasked."Doyoumissyourparents?"

"Ihaven'thad timeyet,but Iknowitwillcome. It'snice toknowIcanseethemwheneverIwantto."

"I'mgladforyouthatthey'reclose,"thekingstated."Ketra'sfamilywasfromthenorth,andshepinedforthem,didn'tyou,mydear?"

"IthoughtIwoulddiethatfirstyear.IwassomuchinlovewithAntonbutsolonelyformyfamily.Finallythegirlsstartedtocome,andIdidn'thaveasmuchtime to miss them." Ketra suddenly stopped and studied Shelby. "I can'trememberthelasttimewehadaredheadedkingorqueen.Thisshouldbefun."

Shelby'sfacereddenedinaninstant.

"Now,Ketra,"thekingchidedcompassionately,"seewhatyou'vedone."

Thequeenlookedapologetic,andShelbywasthrilledwhenlunchwasservedandshecouldbowherhead,firstfortheprayerandthenoverherfood.Shehadanenjoyabletimewiththecoupleandevenmadeaswiftvisit tomeetAnton'smother,butShelbywalkedbacktoherroomwithherheadinamuddle.Rightnow she felt as though she were swimming in mud, with no clue as to thedirectionofthesurface.

47

Withinaweekoflivingatthepalace,Shelbywasfindingherfeet.Shelikedtoriseearlyandevenfixedherownbreakfastmostmornings.Someonealwayshadcoffee on to brew but wasn't always present when she arrived. The staff,however,wasswiftlygrowingaccustomedtoseeingheratthekitchentableforbreakfast. Invariably she had her Bible, the newspaper, her date book, or allthree.Onthismorning,justeightdaysaftershe'dbeenmarried,sheatewithoutlookingatanyofthem.Thestaffmovedaroundquietly,seeingthatshewasingreatthought.

And indeedshewas.Shelby'smindwasstillon thechurchservices thedaybefore. One of the first questions Shelby had asked the king and queen wasabout thechurch theyattended.Shehadbeenglad tohear itwasachurchshewasfamiliarwith,onethatsharedherbiblicalbeliefs,buthernextquestionhadbeen almost as important to her:Did the church have aministry to the deaf?Shelbyhadbeeninvolvedinthatministryinherownchurchforalongtimeandhadnodesiretogiveitup.

Yesterdayshehadcomeintochurchonherown,gainingstares that toldhermanypeoplehadseenherpictureinthepaper.Shedeliberatelysatfaroverontheright-handsidesoshecouldseethemansigningatthefront.Havinggrownupwithadeaffather,shehadbeenabletofolloweverywordbutsoonchosetolookat thepastorandconcentrateonhernotes.Shehadenjoyed itverymuchandbeenconvictedseveraltimes.Whilesheknewdozensofpeoplewhowenttochurchbecauseitmadethemfeelgood,

48

Shelbydidn'twantthat.HerdesirewastobeconvictedofsinandtochangetobemorelikeJesusChrist,evenifithurt.

Shewasstillinthemidstofallthesethoughtsaboutthedaybeforewhentheprincewalkedintothekitchen.Shewasgladthatshe'djustswallowedthetoastinhermouth,orshemighthavechoked.

"Murdock"hebegangenially,"Ihavetomakeachangeontheschedule.Doyouhaveyourbook?"

"Ofcourse,sir.Whatday?"

"ThisFriday."

Shelby stopped attending at this point and simplywatched him.Hewas inslacks,whiteshirt,andtie;clearlyhisjackethadbeendiscardedelsewhere.Andshehadbeenright-hewasverytall.Handsometoo.Hishairwasjetblack,andalthoughshecouldn'tseehisfaceclearly,shehadseenthroughherveilthathiseyeswereastartlingsapphireblue.Shelbywasstilljustwatchinghimwhenheturnedandnoticedher.

"Hello,"hespokekindly,smilingalittleinherdirection.

"Goodmorning,"Shelbysaidsoftly,keepingherseat.

Theprince finishedhisbusinesswithMurdockand finally turned to lookatheragain.

"I don't believe we'vemet," he said conversationally, shocking Shelby intosilence. The redhead stared at him until he laughed a little and glanced atMurdockandArlanda.

"Itakeit1havemetourguestandforgotten."

But the two servantswere staring at him in equal shock, and a cold feelingsweptdownhisspine.ThefaceheturnedbacktoShelbywasnotatallfriendly.Thatladystoodtoherfeetbeforespeaking.

"I'mShelby"shesaidbreathlessly."I'msorryIdidn'ttellyousooner."

The red in Nikolai's face could only be matched by Shelby's, which wasnearlypurplewithmortification.

49

"Theapologyshouldcomefromme,"Nikolaisaidstiffly."I'msorryIdidn'trecognizeyou."Hesaidnotanotherword,gaveaslightnodinherdirection,andstrodefromtheroom.

Shelby watched him leave but couldn't bring herself to look at thehousekeeperorminister.Shegatheredherpapers,hereyesdowncast.

"Thank you for breakfast," she said just before she walked out, still notlookingateitherofthem.

On her exit, Arlanda and Murdock shared a long look, both feeling asmiserableandconfusedastheprincesshadlooked.

The prince felt a headache comingon as the day limo took him to his firstappointment. He had told himself that if he just had a little time it would beeasier, so he had stayed away for aweek.Nowhe'dmade a complete fool ofhimself.

Hewasnotaccustomedtoseeinganyonebutthestaffinthekitchen.Havingtheprincesssitting therewas the last thinghehadexpected.Youhavenoone toblamebutyourself,Nick,andyouknowit.Youcouldhavestayedandtalkedtoheraawhile,butno,youranlikeafool.

"Andthat'sjustwhatIam,"hesaidsoftly."Afool."

"Didyouneed something, sir?" Ivan,hisdriverandcompanion, asked frombehindthewheel.

"No.Thankyou,Ivan."

Nikolaigavehimselfalittleshake.HehadtomeetwithaCouncilmemberinafewminutes,andhisheadmustbeclear.Muchasheneededtothinkofawaytohandlethismarriagethathefoundhimselfapartof,hewelcomedtheexcusetoputitfromhismindforalittlelonger.

50

1

"The king said he had a picture," Shelby said in the quiet of her room. "Iassumedhe'dshownittohisson."

Shelby sat down on the sofa in the small sitting area in one corner of herbedroom, her gaze on the window. As had become her routine, she wasscheduledtomeetwithKris,amanthepalacereferredtoashercompanion,justbeforelunch,butrightnowshewonderedifshehadtimetogohomeforalittlewhile.Shedidn'tIwanttotalkaboutthesceneinthekitchen,butshethoughtit

mightdohersomegoodtoseehermother.

Shebitherlipasshetriedtorememberifshewastocallahead

'tothegarageornot.Shewasonthevergeofgoingtothephone

':whensomeoneknockedonherdoor.Shelbyopenedthedoorto

1findMurdockwaitinginthehall.

:"Oh,Murdock,IwasjustwonderingwhetherIshouldcall

aheadtogetmycarorjustwalkdowntothegarage?"

],"It'suptoyou.Ifyoudocall,theycanhaveitstartedand

Iwaitingforyouorevendeliveredtothedoor.Orifyoulike,one

.ofthelimoscantakeyouwhereveryouwish."

IShelbynodded.

I"Areyoureadytogooveryourschedule,PrincessShelby,or

shouldIcomeback?"

Intruth,Shelbyhadforgottenallaboutreviewingher

schedule,butshecoverednicelyandtoldthehouseministerto

;comein.Bythetimethetwoofthemhadgoneovereverything,

;itwastoolatetogotoHenley.Shewentdowntothegaragebefore

lunchtomeetwithKris,tellingherselftheworstwasoverand

Ihopingitwastrue.

The prince was glad to be done with his meeting and headed back to thepalace.Hehadagooddealofpaperworkstaringathim

51

and some phone calls to make. He still hadn't decided how to handle hisencounterwithShelby.

Ivan sat competently behind the wheel while they were at a stoplight, and

althoughNikolai'smindwasbusy,hisgazebegantoroam.Whathesawatthecornercausedhisbrowstorise.

"IsthatKrissittingonabicycle,Ivan?"

"Ibelieveitis,sir."

"Whatishedoing?"

Ivan had summed up the situation in a heartbeat. "He's watching over theprincess,sir."

Nikolai'seyesbegantoscanthestreetbeforeherealizedhewasstaringrightat her. Clad in long bike shorts, a baggy T-shirt, helmet, knee guards, elbowguards,wristprotection,sunglasses,andin-lineskates,stoodhiswife.Whilehewatched,thelightchangedandshetookoffinasmoothglide,Krisjusttenfeetbehindheronabike.Nikolaiknewhismouthwasopenbutwastooamazedtocare. Gawking until theywere out of sight, he tried to find herwhen the carpulledforwardintotraffic.Hecaughtaglimpseofherasshemaneuvereddownthestreet,butshewasclearlynotheadedback to thepalace.Nikolaiwasonlygladthathewas.Hestillhadpaperworkandphonecalls,buttheyweregoingtohavetowait.HeneededtoseeMurdockfirst.

"Not only does she enjoy skating, sir, she has a bike. She's been out a fewdaysonthat."

"AndKrisgoeswithher?"Nikolaiaskedforthesecondtime,needingtomakesure.

"Always,sir."

"Doeshekeepaclosewatchonher?FaradayismuchbusierthanHenley."

"Ibelievetheyarebothverycareful,sir."

52

Nikolai leaned back in his desk chair, his eyes on the ceiling, his browloweredinthought.

"Doesshealwayseatbreakfastinthekitchen?"

"Yes.Icantellshe'squitecomfortablethere."

"Whataboutlunchanddinner?"

"Whenshe'shere,weservethoseinthediningroomandsheeatsthere."

Nikolaididn'tneedtoaskifsheatealone;he'deatenplentyofmealsaloneinthediningroom.Itwasn'tatallunusualforhimtoaskforamealinhissittingroomjusttoavoidthelonelinessofthespaciousroom.

"Isshehometonight?"

"No, sir. She's been invited to dinewith someof theCouncilmembers andtheirwives."

"Iwasaskedtothat,wasn'tI?"

"Yes,butyoudeclined.CouncilmanRoydenwasalreadyexpectingyou."

Nikolaiwastornbetweenreliefanddisappointment.Hehadtofindawaytoseehiswifeandgettoknowheronsomelevel,butthethoughtalonelefthimatacompleteloss.Whatwouldhesaytoher?Howdidonetalktoawifewhowasnearlyastranger?

"IsthereanythingIcando,sir?"

"Justthis,Murdock.IwouldlikeHankorKristocallassoonastheyleavetheLindells'.IfI'mstillattheRoydens',callIvan."

"I'lltakecareofit,sir."

Murdocktookhimselfbacktohisdutiesthen,hisheartverylight.Hehadlostabitofhope in thekitchen thatmorning,but theconcernon theprince's facewasveryencouraging.Itmighttakesometime,butitlookedasiftheremightbeahappymarriageafterall.

5353

"SheisthesweetestgirlI'veevermet,"MoyraLindell,Shelby'shost,toldherhusband,Tyler, as soonas shehadachance. "I'msosorryNikolaicouldn'tbehere.Hemusthatetobeseparatedfromher."

"We'll have to have them again,"Tyler decided, thinking of how lonely theprincehadseemedattimesandhowmuchhewouldenjoyseeinghimwithhisnewwife.

Across the roomwithawomansheknewfromherBible study,ShelbywasblissfullyunawareoftheLindells'plans.Shewasverypleasedtoseeherfriend-shehadn'tknownanyoneelse-buttheeveningasawholehadbeensomethingofatrial.Shehadn'thadoverfivebitesoffood.Everytimeanhorsd'oeuvreorherforkhadheadedtowardhermouth,someonehadaskedheraquestion.For themostpart, thepeoplewereverykind,but shewasquicklyseeing that shewassomethingof a fascination.Shelbycouldhave told them that shewasno suchthing, but until they all grew used to seeing her, it looked as though shewasgoingtobeinvitedouttodinnerbutnotallowedtoeat.

Theeveningendedonafriendlynote,butShelbycouldn'tstopthegrowlingofherstomachasHankletherintothecar.Shehadnomorethantakenaseatintheformallimousinewhenthephonenexttoherrang.

"Hello,"Shelbyanswereduncertainly.

"PrincessShelby,couldyoulowerthewindowforamoment?"

"Oh,certainly."

Shelby cast about for a switch, andwhen she couldn't find one, listened asHank told her where to look. The moment the window between them waslowered,heturnedtospeakwithher.Shelbyfinallyrememberedtohangupthephone.

"PrincessShelby?"herchauffeurbegan.

"Yes,Hank?"

"IsthereanythingIcangetforyou?"

54

ForamomentShelbysat inembarrassedsilence,knowingthathehadheardherstomachgrowl.Thinkinghemustbe tired, shewas tempted tosayno,buthe'dputthelightonoverhishead,andshecaughthislook,alookofcompassionandaneagernesstoserve.

"DidIseeaBurgerHavenontheway,Hank?"

"Yes.Doesthatsoundgood?"

"Yes,please," shesaidverysoftly, sittingbackwith relief.Foodwason theway.

Hank,whoknewevery footof thedrive into thepalace,how things lookedwhenallwascalm,andeveryinchiftherewasachange,sawinaninstantthattheprincewaswaitingforhiscargo.Healsosuspectedthattheprincesshadn'tseenhimatall."Oh,"heheardhersaysoftlyasthedoorwasopenedandafigureloomedaboveher.

Indeed,ittookShelbyamomenttoevenseewhowasgivingherahandout.Catchingherself,shesnatchedhergreasyhandbackveryquicklyandexplainedwithout even looking up, "My hands are a bitmessy. I don'twant to get youdirty.Oh,"shesaidagain,thistimelookingupandrecognizingherhusband.

"Didyouhaveapurseoracoat?"Nikolaiaskedsoftly.

"No.Idon't,Ijust-1don't,"shefinishedlamely,gladforthecoverofdarknessonherredface.

Theprincegesturedtothedoor,andShelbyprecededhim,askingherselfthewholewayifsomethingwaswrong.Shedidn'tthinkhehadbeenaroundthefirstweektheyweremarried,butneitherdidshethinkitwasnormalforhimtomeetherwhenhewashome.

"Didyouhaveagoodtime?"Nikolaiwastednotimeinasking.

55

"Idid,yes.Ihadn'tmettheLindellsbefore.Theywereverykind."

"Whoelsewasthere?Doyouremember?"

ShelbynamedafewcouplesandLenorefromherBiblestudy.Astheytalked,theprincemovedthemintooneoftheupstairssalonsanddirectedShelbytoachair.She foundherself underhis scrutiny for amoment and thought shewasexpectedtofillinthesilence.

"Didyouhaveagoodevening?"

"Yes,"Nikolaisaidpolitely."IwasinvitedtotheLindells'aswell,butIhadameetingIcouldnotmiss.Thankyouforattendingforbothofus."

Shelbynodded.Therewerequestionsonhermind,hutshedidn'twanthimtothinkshewasprying.

"The streets in Faraday are busier I think than those in Henley," he saidsuddenly."Areyoucarefulonyourskates?"

Shelbyblinkedinsurprisebutthennoddedyes."I trytobe.It'shardtofindquietstreets,soIdotrytowatchout."

The prince nodded. He didn't even know this woman, but right now thethoughtofhavingherharmedwasunbearabletohim.

"Icoulddrivetoanotherareatoride,"Shelbyofferedsuddenly,"ifyouwouldratherIdidn'trideintown."

Thisgavetheprincepause.Hadshereallyjustvolunteeredtoadjustherplansonhissay-so?Thisseemedunrealtohim.

"Wherewouldyougo?"heaskedoutofpurecuriosity.

"RightnowIdon'tknow,butIcouldlookaroundandfindaplaceoraskKrisorMurdock.Ifitbothersyou,Iwill."

A moment later the prince frowned. She almost sounded as if she hadrehearsedthatline.Ordidshehopetogainhisapprovalbysayingonlywhathewanted to hear? He worked to push thoughts of comparing Shelby to Yvetteaway,butitdidn'tcompletelywork.

56

"I don't think that's necessary" he said at last, his voice a bit cool. "Just becareful."

Seeing that he hadn't cared for the idea, Shelby only nodded.His face hadbeen sopolite,butnowhe lookedabit testy.Shewatchedhim inuncertainty,justwishingshecouldgotobed.

"I'd best let you retire now," the prince said formally. "Unless there wassomethingyouneeded."

"No,thankyou.I'llsaygoodnight."

Like a perfect gentleman, the prince stood, but Shelby was only slightlyrelieved.Somethinghadgonewrong;shejustdidn'tknowwhat.Shereadiedforbed, praying for wisdom all the while and wondering when she would knowwhereshestood,orifsheeverwould.TheideawassodepressingtoShelbythatsheforcedherselftoconcentrateonsleepbeforethethoughtcouldblossom.

Hadsheknown that for thenextmonthshewould see theprinceonly fromtimetotimeandfindhimlittlemorethanapolitestranger,shemightnothavebeen able to push the thought away. Indeed, the prince and princess went indifferentdirectionsmostof the time.Shelbyhadno reason tobelieve that thiswasnotnormalandcarriedonasbestshecould.

Totheoutsideworldallseemedwell,butNikolaiMarkhamknewbetter.Whathe didn't knowwas the high price hewould have to pay, and that the day ofreckoningwasmuchcloserthanhewouldeverhaveimagined.

"Okay,"ShelbystudiedFran'sbangsandbenttomakeanothercut."Checkthemirrornow."

"Oh,PrincessShelby,you'readream.They'vebeendrivingmecrazy."

"Dotheylookeven?"

57

"They look perfect. Where did you learn to cut hair?" the older womandemanded.

Shelbysmiled."Myfather'sabarber.I'vealwayshadtheknack."

"Well, I can't thankyou enough.The shop said they couldn't fitme inuntilnextweek.ThebackIcanlivewith,butnotthesebangs."

"Doyouwantmetodotheback?I'dbehappyto."

"No, thiswill be fine.Arianda saidyoucutherhairyesterdayandGilbert'slastweek.Ithinkyou'veputinenoughtimefornow."

Shelbyonlysmiled.Shehonestlydidn'tmind.Somedaysshewassobusyshecouldn'tfindherself,andotherdays,likethisone,shefoundshehadtimeonher

hands.Sheleftthekitchenporchjustmomentslater.Herschedulewassoclearthatshewasheadedhometoseehermother.Theyweregoingshoppingandtolunch.Shecouldhardlywait.Not30minuteslatershemadeherwaytothecarbarn,feelingasthoughshehadtheentiredayatherdisposal,climbedintohersmallgreensportscar,andheadedtowardHenley.

Theking,watchingher leave fromanupstairswindow,knewitwas time tospeak with Nikolai about the relationship. He had been hesitant to probe toodeeplybeforenow,butithadbeenmorethanamonth,andthelovingfatherinhimhadtoknowhowhissonwasdoing.

However, the time to speak with him didn't come for another 24 hours.Nikolai came to see his parents, and when Erica was called away to thetelephone,Rafesuddenlyfeltthetimewasperfect.

"HowisShelby?"

"She'sfine,"Nikolaispokequietly.

"DoyouknowthatpersonallyorfromMurdock?"

Nikolailookedathisfatheramomentbeforeanswering.

58

"Ikeeptrackofher.Sheseemscontentwithherscheduleandsuch."

"Anychanceshe'sexpecting?"

Nikolaiblinked.Didhisfatherreallythink...Hethencaughttheolderman'seye.

"Idon'tcaretojokeaboutit,Father."

"No,Idon'tsupposeyoudo.I'msorry.Idowonder,though,howlongyou'regoingtowaittogettoknowher."

"It'sonlybeenamonth."

Rafenodded.Heknewonlytoowellhowonemonthcouldturnintosix,andthensixmonthsintoayear,buthekeptsilentonthis.

"Yousaidyouknewitwouldbehard,Nick.Hasitbeenbetterorworse?"

This really was the last subject Nikolai wanted to discuss, and the shortanswershegavehisfather told theoldermanasmuch.Thekingdidnotgrowangry,butheknewverywellwhathissonwasabout.Hedebatedjusthowdirecthis next words should be, but before he could speak, Erica returned. WhilerememberingthepatienceofJesuswhenitcametoworkingwiththedisciples,Raferemindedhimselfthatnoteverythingneededtobecoveredinoneday.Hecontinued to pray, content to wait on God for a better time to discuss theprincess.

RafewouldneverhavelethissongohadherealizedhowmuchhehadupsetNikolaiorhowdarkthestormwasthatbrewedinside.

Withaschedulechange thatwouldbeeasier todiscusswithboth theprinceandtheprincess,MurdockhadaskedShelbytowaitinNikolai'soffice.Shelbyhadneverbeen in this roombeforeandwasn't evencomfortable sittingdown,butshelikedthecolors

59

andthewaytheprincehadthingsarranged.Shestoodjustfivefeetinsidethedoor and let her eyes do the walking. Some of the bookshelves were full ofleather-boundvolumes,andthereweretalloakfilecabinetstoo.Italllookedsoneatandimportantthatforamoment,Shelbyfeltabitinsignificant.

"Whatareyoudoinginhere?"

Theprince'svoicestartledShelbysomuchthatshejumpedandspun,herfacelooking guilty for no reason. Shewatched the prince come into the room, hisface showing his disapproval. Her thoughts scattered, Shelby began to backtowardthedoor.

"I'msorry,"shesaidsoftly,bumpingintothedoorjambbeforeshefoundtheactual doorway to the anteroom. Once outside, the office door was shut, andShelbylookedaroundindismay.Sheknewshe'dhandleditbadly,buthehadsotakenherbysurprise.Debatingwhattodonext,Shelbydecidedtotakeaseatintheanteroomandwait forMurdock.Shehadbeenwaitingonlyafewminuteswhentheofficedooropened.

"YoucouldhavetoldmeMurdockaskedyoutowaithere,"theprincebeganwithoutpreamble,hisvoicestillagitated."Hejustcalledtoexplainhewouldbelate."

"I'msorry,"Shelbysaidagain,andwithoutthinkingtheprincetookhisangeroutonhiswife.

"Areyoualwayssuchalittledoormat?"heaskedsuddenly.

Shelbyblinked."No."

"Youcouldhavefooledme,"Nikolaimutteredasheturnedaway,shootinganangryglareinherdirection.

Ataloss,Shelbymovedagainstthewallandstoodstill.

Whatin theworldhaveIdone?WhatamIdoinghere?Idon'tevenknowthisman.

Working hard not to overreact, Shelbywished she could stop shaking. Sheheard a phone ringing and started tomove but realized she was headed backtowardtheofficedoor.Shehadjustbeguntoheadintherightdirection,towardthedoortothe

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hallway,whentheprincespokehernameagain.Shelbyturnedswiftlytoseehim coming toward her. She froze, not knowing if he was still upset, but hedidn'tevennoticeherstrickenface.

"Murdockhasbeentiedupandneedstomeetusinthekitchen."Nikolaisaidthesewordswithoutevenlookingathiswife.Hesimplyledtheway,andShelby,notknowingwhatelsetodo,followedinhislong-leggedwake.

"Thank you for coming,"Murdock began the moment he saw them. "Let'ssee... Friday night-" the houseminister began but stopped suddenly. "PrincessShelby,areyouallright?"

"Yes,"shesaid,hervoiceunnaturallypitched.

"Areyoucertain?"heasked,bendingalittletolookintoherface.

Shelbycouldonlynod,andalthoughshedidn'tlookatNikolai,henoticedherfaceforthefirsttime.Herlipstickstoodoutlikeachild'scrayonmark,sopalewere her features. She kept her eyes glued to Murdock or the floor as theminister told of the weekend plans, but the prince could barely take his eyesfrom his wife's face. What he saw alarmed him. He had done this. He hadfrightened her.He knew he had tomake it right.He determined to do so themomentMurdockwasfinished,butthatmanhadafewmoredetailsforhim.Bythe time he was finished, the princess had slipped away. Nikolai went to herroomtospeaktoher,butArlandawastherealoneandtoldhimtheprincesshadrememberedanappointmentandleftimmediately.

Nikolaicouldhavekickedhimself.Hehadappointmentsofhisownandknewhewouldbetiedupfortherestoftheday.Thenextdaywasnobetter.NikolaiwasdeterminedtoseeShelbyinpersonbutwastoldshehadgoneoutoftown.

Shelby,whohad been dreading the trip she had been scheduled tomake toYelverton, now found herself comfortably away from the prince and more atpeacewitheverymile.Sheknewshecouldn'trunforever,butrightnowshewasfeelingtoofragileto

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facehim.Alltoosoonshewouldbegoingback,andbythen,shehopedshewouldhaveheremotionsundercontrol.

What Shelby failed to remember was that she wasn't due back until lateafternoon on Friday, just a few hours before theKing's Ball, the first officialevent where she was expected to make an appearance as the princess ofPendaran.

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Prince Nikolai, you have married the sweetest woman in the world.If theprincehadheardthisonce,he'dhearditadozentimessincehewalkedintohisfather's ballroom. The King's Ball had been in full swing for more than 45

minutes, but he had yet to see hiswife. Indeed, one of the staff told him shehadn'tmade an appearanceyet.He'd stopped at her bedroomdoor before he'dcomedown,hopingtocleartheairbetweenthem,buttherehadbeennoanswertohisknock.

"You're takingme into dinner," Erica said, suddenly appearing at her son'ssideandslippinganarmthroughhis.

"Thatworksforme,"hereplied,smilingasheleanedtokisshercheek."WhoisseeingtoShelby?"heasked,hisvoiceastudyinnonchalance.

"Your father gets that honor tonight." This said, Erica studied him for amoment."Youlookverynicetonight,Nicky.HasShelbyseenyouinthistux?"

"Asamatteroffact,no.Ihaven'tseenheratalltoday."

"Oh,that'sright.YourAuntPaigewashavingtroublewithherhair.Shelbyisgivingheraquicktrim."

"Shelbycutshair?"

"Yes.EranandArlandasayshe'samarvel.Oh,there'sToby.Imustspeaktohim.Findmefordinner."

"Iwill."

Nikolaiwasdelightedthatanoldercoupleclaimedhisattention,orhemighthavebegunsearchingthepalacelikeamadman.

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Helistened,hisheadbentwithpropercourtesy,butwheneverhehadachancetoglancearoundtheking'sballroom,hetookit.Thecouplewasjustmovingoffwhen he spotted her. Shelby was with her parents, both she and her mothertalkingandsigningwithease.Nikolaihadneverseenherdothis,andfor longmomentshewatchedinfascination.Hewasstillstaringwhentheyspottedhim.Withoutdiscussion,Mr.Parkerheadedhisway,hiswifejustbehindhim.Nikolaifelt relief flood him until he watched Shelby catch her mother's arm, saysomething,andthenmoveintheoppositedirection.Shedidn'tevenlookathim.Hemanagedtokeepthediscouragementfromhisfaceashisin-lawsneared.

"Good evening, PrinceNikolai," Josiah began. "I'm sorrywe haven't had achancetospeaktoyoubeforenow;ourmeetingattheweddingwassobrief."

"It'sapleasuretoseeyouboth.Yourdressisverybeautiful,Mrs.Parker.Youlookwonderful."

"Oh,thankyou,PrinceNikolai.Shelbyhelpedmepickitout.""Youbothhavegoodtastethen,andpleasecallmeNick.""Youmustcallusbyourgivennamesas well," Josiah spoke up. He was so eager to get to know this young man.Shelbyhadsaidthingsweregoingwell,buttherewasastraininherfacethathehadn'tseenbefore.Heknewshewasbusyandwantedtobelieveitwasonlythat.Hethoughtgettingtoknowthismanmightputhismindatrest.

"[ want to extend an invitation to you, Nick," Josiah continued, trying thenameforthefirsttime."You'rewelcometovisitusinHenleyanytime.WeplantohaveyouandShelby todinnervery soon,butwewantyou toknowyou'rewelcome."

"Thank you. I'll plan on stopping.As amatter of fact, I have a friendwhoworksinHenleyatthepostoffice."

"Thatwouldberightacross thestreet frommyshop."Nikolainodded."I'veseenyourbarbershopmanytimes. If I recall,you'vebeen inbusiness thereforyears."

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"Morethan20."

"AndIunderstandShelbyhasinheritedyourskillwithscissors."

BothParkerslaughedandDariaanswered,"Shetoldusshe'sbeencalledintoservicehereatthepalace.Shelovesdoingit."

"MayIinterrupt?"afemalevoicebrokeinatNikolai'sside.Helookeddownto see his aunts, Paige and Maria. "Erica said you were talking to Shelby'sparents,andwewantedtomeetthem."

"Ofcourse,"Nikolairepliedashegraciouslyturned."JosiahandDariaParker,pleasemeettwoofmymother'ssisters,PaigeMarshallandMariaSimms."

Nikolaistayedquietforatimeandlistenedtothefourofthemtalkabouthiswife.Bothhisauntshadbeendelightedtomeetherand,yes,herparentsthoughtshewasverysweettoo;shealwayshadbeen.Theywerestillindeepdiscussionwhenhespottedtheobjectoftheirexchangeandslippedaway.Hewouldhavecaught up with her too, but another group caught her attention first. Nikolaistoppedandwatchedher.

AtonepointShelbyglancedupandnoticedNikolaiwatchingher.Itwasallsuchamess.Shehadnothadtimetoevenseehim,andifheapproachedher,sheknewshewouldn'tbeabletokeepthetensionfromherface.Thiswasherfirstofficialpublicappearance.Thethoughtofdoingsomethingtobringshametothecrown was abhorrent to her. If her husband approached, she might show heruncertainty,andinherestimationthatwouldbeunforgivable.

She was still mulling it over when the gong sounded for dinner. The kingfoundherjustaminutelater,andshesmiledupintohiskindeyes.

"Areyouhungry?"heasked.

"Alittle,"Shelbysaidhonestly,"butmostlynervous.It'sallabitnew."

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Thekingplacedhisfreehandonhers."You'redoingbeautifully,andyoulooklovely.Thatblueiswonderfulonyou."

"I'veneverhadareasontowearaformalgownbefore.It'squitefun."

The king's smile was huge. There was something so likeable and guilelessabout this woman that his heart turned over in his chest. For a moment hebeggedGodtoletShelbyandNikolaifindlove.Hethoughtoftherelationshiphesharedwithhisownpreciouswifeandwantednothinglessforthesetwodearyoungpeople.

"Your parents seem to be having a good time," the king said as they foundtheirseatsinthehugediningroomatthelongtable.

"Itwassokindofyoutoincludethem,"Shelbysaid,herlookabitanxious."IwassogladwhenMothercalledtosayshe'dreceivedthecard."

ForamomentRafewasstruckdumb.Hadshereallythoughtthattheywould

beexcluded?Againhewasremindedabouthownewthiswasforher,andalsohow little she expected from all of them.He glanced down at her to see thatshe'dspottedNikolaiandEricaatanotherlongtable.HewasstillobservingthescenewhenNikolai'sgazerestedonher.Shelby'seyesdroppedinaninstant,andRafe'sheartknewamomentofheaviness.

HestillbelievedthatGodhadahandinthismarriageandthatShelbywasagiftfromHim,buthowlongitwouldbebeforethingswereastheyshouldbe,onlyHeknew.

Shelbytoldherselfnottopanic.Herhusbandwasjust30feetawayontherimofthedancefloorandhadfinallycaughthereyeswithhisown.Nottakinganychances, he lifted his hand and beckoned to her with one finger, even as heworkedtoclosethedistance

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betweenthem.Shelbyfeltratherthansawsomeonecomingupfromtheotherside.SheglancedandsawthatitwasToby.

"Hello,Mr.Kewbury,"shesaidtooloudly,stoppinghiminhistracks.

"Well,Shelby,you'renotdancing."

"Iwaswaitingforyou,"sheimprovised.

"Well,byallmeans then, let'sdance."Shelbyallowedherself tobe ledontothedancefloor.Thewaltzwashalfover,butShelbyforcedherselftorelaxand,even though she was tired, accepted the next dance with Toby as well. TheyweretalkingonthesubjectoftheRoyalCareCenterwhenNikolaicutin.Itwasdonesosmoothly,Tobybowingawaywithahugesmileonhisface,thatbeforeShelby knew what was happening, she was dancing with her husband. Shecouldn'tbringherselftolookhigherthanhistie,butNikolaididnothesitate.

"You'vebeenavoidingme,Shelby."

"IsupposeIhave,"sheadmitted,hervoicesoftandbreathless."IfindI'mnotuptopretendingeverythingisfine,andIdidn'twanttoruintheking'sparty."

"Noonehaseverexpectedyoutopretendanything,leastofallme.Ioweyousuchagreatapology."

ThisbroughtShelby'seyestohisforamoment,soNikolaifeltemboldenedtocontinue.

"I'mnotsurehowI'llconveytoyouhowdeeplyIregretmywordsandactionsto you, but I'm going to try. I am deeply ashamed, Shelby, that you are nowfrightenedofme."

AgainShelbylookedup,thistimeforabitlonger.

"I suppose I shouldn't be so quick to try to please everyone," she said in asmallvoice.

"You'retalkingasthoughyou'vedonesomethingwrong.Iwasangrywithmyfatherandtookitoutonyou.Icanonlyhopeyouwillforgiveme."

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"Of course Iwill," Shelby said in an instant. It never occurred to her to dootherwise,butthatdidn'tchangetheunsettlednessinside.Sheknewallaboutbadmoodsandangerandwhattheycoulddotoaperson'sdisposition,butthatdidn'talterthefactthathisresponsetoherhadgivenhersecondthoughts.EverytimeShelbysawhisface,sherememberedhisangrygaze.

Thedanceended,butNikolaistillwasn'tcertainwherehestood.Choosingforthemomenttoproceedasifnothinghadhappened,hesaid,"Thankyouforthedance."

"Thankyou,"sherepliedinreturn.

"Didyouenjoydinner?"heasked,hesitanttoleavethingsalone.

"Idid.Thestaffdidsuchagoodjobwitheverything."

"I see someone I need to speak to, Shelby," the prince told her honestly."Wouldyouexcusemeforamoment?"

"Ofcourse."

Nikolaistartedawaybutcamerightback."I'llfindyouforthelastdance,"hesaid,bendinglowtospeakintoherear.

"Allright."

Shelbystoodforamoment,tryingtodispelthefeelingofunreality.Shehadjustdancedwiththeprince,whowasalsoherhusbandandwhoscaredherinnosmallmeasure.

Fearisasin,Shelby.Heapologized.You'regoingtohavetogetoverit.

Sheknewitwouldbeeasiertoacknowledgethanaccomplish,butthatdidn'texcuseherfromtrying.ShewasstillthinkingaboutitandaskingGodforhelpwhenherfatheraskedhertodance.ForthemomentshewouldenjoythistimewithJosiahParkeranddoasshewasasked-keepherselffreeforthelastdance.

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NikolaiandShelbywalkedtogetherbacktothenorthquadrant.Theballwasover,hailedasasuccessbyall,andtheroyalfamilycouldfinallyseektheirrest.Thenewlymarriedcoupledidnotspeakastheywalked,butShelbyhadnomoresaidgoodnightandshutherdoorwhenthephonerang.

"It's Nick," her husband said into her ear. "Can you work me into yourscheduleinthemorning?"

"Ithinkso.ShallIcheckmybook?"

"Ifyouwould,please."

Shelby left the phone long enough to find the book on her desk. She camebackandsatontheedgeofthebedbeforepickingupthephone.

"Mydayisclear,"

"CanImeetwithyouaboutnine?"

"Yes.WhereshouldIfindyou?"

"Ithinkinourparlor.I'llknockonyourdooraboutthen."

"Allright."

"Thankyou,Shelby."

"You'rewelcome.Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

And it was a good night for both of them, but for very different reasons.Shelby fell sound asleep and stayed asleep the whole night, something sheneeded very much. Nikolai spent many hours lying in his bed and praying,confessing toGodthepoorchoiceshe'dmadeandsinshe'dcommittedagainsthiswife in the last sixweeks and then discussingwithHim all the things heneededtotellherinthemorningandaskingforstrengthtodojustthat.

Didyouhaveagoodtime?Shelbytypedontheteletypemachinesheusedforphonecallstoherfather.

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Wehadawonderfultime,hereplied.WespokewithNikolaiforawhileandtoldhimwewantedtohavethetwoofyoutodinner.We'llhavetodothatsoon.Youlookedalittletiredattimeslastnight.Didyouenjoyyourself?

Yes.Ihadsomethingonmymindthat1foundstressful,soIimaginethiswaswhatyousawinmyexpression.

Itwashardnottoaskyoulastnight.

I'mallright,Fa,thankyou.Bytheway,tellBricehemissedagreatparty.

Wealreadydid,butIcouldtellhewasgladhe'dkepttohisoriginalplans.Hedidsayhewantstocomeseeyousoon.Ithinkhesaidsomethingaboutskatingorhiking.

Tellhimtocome.Iwouldloveit.Doyouhavemyextension?

Yes.I'llpassthewordalong.

SomeoneknockedonShelby'sdoorjustthen,soshetoldherfathershehadtogo.Theysaidgoodbyewithsomeregret.Itseemedliketheirtimetogetherthesedaysconsistedofbriefsnatchesontherun.

"Goodmorning,"Nikolai saidas soonasShelbyopened thedoor. "Areyouready?"

"Yes."Shelby took in theprince's jeansandT-shirt andwasglad shehadn'tdressedup.

Nikolainoticedherattireaswell.Hehadyettoseeherlookinganythingbut

nice,butlikethis,inwhitejeansandapalepeachblouse,shelookedsoathomeshemighthavebeen living in thepalace foryears.Tellinghimself tokeephismindon the taskaheadofhim,he led theway to thecomfortablesofas in theprivate,forestgreenparlortheysharedandwaitedforhertositclown.

"Iwon'tkeepinsultingyoubyapologizing,Shelby,butIfeelweneedtotalkalittle more about what happened." It did not escape his notice that althoughShelbyhadsatdown,shewasnotatallrelaxed.

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"Allright,"Shelbysaid,thinkingshe'dbeenrightaboutwhyhewantedtoseeher.

"Ifrightenedyouquitebadly,didn'tI?"

Shelbynoddedabitreluctantly,notcertainshewasgoingtoenjoythis.

"Canyoutellmewhyexactly?"

Shelbyplayedwithherwatchforamoment,hergazediverted.Shehadtobehonestbutfeareditwouldmakehimangryagain.Shetensedandtriedtosmile,butitdidn'twork.

"Itsoundssosillynow,butforjustamomentIthoughtyoumightbetemptedtohitme."

Shesaid thisandleaneda littleawayfromhim.Nikolaihadallhecoulddonottoreact.Hedidn'tknowwhenhe'dbeensosurprised.Heforcedhimselftonodinseemingcalmness,butinsidehewasmiserable.AHthistime,Lord,You'vebeenpromptingmetogettoknowher,totalktoher,butIranfrommyjob.ThenIthoughtmyparentshadbeenduped.Ithoughtshewasacompletephony,butshereallyisextremelysweetandaccommodating.

"Wereyoutemptedtohitme?"Shelbyaskedinasmallvoice.

"No,Shelby,"Nikolaisaid,findingitnoproblemtokeephisvoicegentle;shewaslookingfrightenedalloveragain,andhisheartwrungwithcompassion.

Shelby shruggeduncomfortably." Itold myself it was silly, but sometimes Idon'tlistenverywell."

Nikolai stared at her for a moment, the full import of what she had donecominghometohimforthefirsttime.Wouldhehavelefthishome,allthatwasfamiliaranddear, tomarryastrangerwhohadcompletecontroloverhim?Hedidn'tthinkhewould.

"I'mgladyoutoldme,Shelby-veryglad.Iwasangrywithmyfatherandtookitoutonyou.It'sprobablyimpossibleforyoutobelievethatrightnowbecauseyoudon'tknowme,butIhopeintimeyou'llcometoseethatImeanit."

"Thankyou."

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"Tell me something, Shelby. Did you have an appointment after Murdockspokewithus,ordidyoujustfeelyouhadtogetaway?"

"A little of both. I had an open appointment, one that I could take care ofanytime,andIdecidedtogothen."

"Diditgowell?"

Shelbyblushed."Ican'tsayasIrememberverymuchaboutit.I'llhavetogoback."

"Murdocksaidyouwerealsooutoftownthisweek."

"Yes.IwenttoYelverton.That'sbeenonmycalendarforafewweeks.OneoftheCouncilmember'swivesaskedmetolunch,andwhenthequeenlearnedofit,sheaskedmetostopinonanoldfriendforher."

"It'sprettyupthereinthenorth.Mygrandmother'sfamilyisfromthere."

"Shetoldmeaboutthat."

"That'sright.Theysaidyouhadlunchwiththem."

Shelby nodded again, feeling terribly insecure inside. This man was largerthan life to her. Hewas tall, yes, but it wasmore than that. Even before theincident,she'dbeenslightlyinaweofhim.Inamovetoappearcalmerthanshefelt,Shelbytuckedherhairbehindherearsandcrossedherlegs.

"Am I going to offend you if I ask you about your hair?" Nikolai asked

suddenly.He'dbeenwatchingherquiteclosely.

"No,"Shelbytoldhimsincerely.

"Isthecoloryours?"

Not expecting this, she laughed a little. "Yes. For better or for worse, it'smine."

"Whatwouldmakeyousayforworse?"

Shelbycouldhavegivenhimseveralreasons,butMurdockcametothedoor.

"Ihatetointerrupt,sir,butacallhascomein,andIthoughtyoushouldtakeit."

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"Allright.Thankyou,Murdock."

Shelbystoodsotheprincewouldfeelsheunderstood.

"I'msorrytocutthisshort"Nikolaisaidsincerely.

"That'sfine.Iunderstand."

FeelingabitthwartedasShelbyseemedonthevergeofrelaxing,Nikolaisawthathehadnochoice.Hewishedheragooddayandwenttotakehiscall.Bythetimehefinished,shewasgone.Thetemptationtoletherliveherlifesohecouldcontinue to cherish hismemories of Yvette was very strong, but he'd alreadymade thatmistakeandwasn'tgoing todo it again.Hedidn't seeShelbyagainthatdaybutprayedoffandonuntilbedtimeaboutthenextopportunitytospeakwithher.

"Doyoustilldriveyourself?"Lenoreasked.

"Yes.Idrovemyselftoday."

"Butyoudon'thaveto?"Debcheckedwithher.

"No.Icanasktobetakeninthedaylimo."

"Youmake it sound like the limousines are different at night," commented

Grace.

"Theyare,"Shelbyanswered,notmindingthequestionsfromthefivewomenin herBible study group. Shewas closer to thesewomen than just about anyothers she could name and had not the slightest qualm in answering theirnaturallycuriousquestions.OtherthanLenore,shewasseeingthemforthefirsttimesinceshewasmarried.

"IfIhavetogooutintheevening,"Shelbyexplained,"I'mtakeninaregularlimo-big, black, andvery formal.Theday limo is actually a nice car, nodarkwindowsorglassdivider."

"Andhowdoesitfeel?"

"Alittlefunnyattimes,butthestaffissokind."

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"Andtheprince?"Nattyaskedinherquietway."Ishekindtoo?"

"I thinkso,"Shelbyanswered,beingveryhonestwith them."Iknowit isn'teasyforhim,butjustthismorningwetalkedforawhile.Wehaven'treallyhadthatmuchtimetogether.Youcanprayformeabouttherelationship."

"Likewe've done anything else for the past six weeks," Deb saidwith herclassicsarcasm.ShecouldalwaysmakeShelbylaugh.

"Okay, okay." Shelby's hands went in the air. "Enough about me. How'schemo,Natty?"

"Itwas better thisweek. I know theLord is alwayswithme-I never doubtthat-buttherearetimeswhenI'mmoremindfulofHim.Thisweekwaslikethat.Iwasevenabletotellthechemotechalittleaboutmyfaith."

"That'sgreat,"Conniespokeup."IwasatthehospitalonThursdayaboutten,andtheytoldmeI'djustmissedyou."

Shelby listened to thewomen talk, amazed at the friends they had become.Shehadn'tseenitcoming,butthewomanwhohadoriginallyledthestudyhadbecomepregnantandvery sick.She'dmetShelbyat thehospital and instantlythought of her. That had been more than two years earlier. Shelby had been

meetingwiththewomenweeklyeversince.TheyhadstudiedRomans,1and2Peter,andHebrews.Theywerenowtackling1,2,and3John.

Thewomen studied for the next 40minutes and took some time for prayerrequestsbeforeShelbyheadedonherway.BothDebandLenorehadhadafewmore questions for her, and Shelby leftwith a small shake of her head and ahugesmileonherface.ShewasinhercarandhalfwaybacktothepalacebeforeshewonderedifshewouldeverknowNikolaiwellenoughtoinvitehimtomeettheladies.Iftheirquestionswereanyindication,theywouldthoroughlyenjoyit.RightnowthethoughtofaskinghimcausedShelby'sfacetoheat.Withoutabitofhesitation,shepushedthethoughtfartothebackofhermind.

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ThePrincess

Six

Intownforthefirstweekendinmuchtoolong,theprincestoodatthebackofthe churchonSundaymorning, determinednot to sit downuntil he foundhiswife.Murdocktoldhimthatthecarhadbroughtherhere,andhewasgoingtofindher.Hehadcheckedwithhisparentsbutwas told that shenever satwiththem.Nikolaibegan togrowanxious.Hewasnotasmallman,and towanderaroundwhenmostpeopleweresittingwasstartingtodrawstares.

Amoment later he noticed aman signing to someone near the front of thesanctuaryontheright-handsideandsuddenlyknewwheretolook.Hemovedtothefarright,stillstayingatthebackuntilhespottedthatbrightcopperhead.Hewas immensely relieved to see shewasnot in a crowdedpew. In fact, hewasable to sit beside her on the end of the pew with room to spare. She wassounccrowded, in fact, that for several seconds she didn't look up from herchurchbulletintoseewhohadjoinedher.

"Oh,Nikolai," Shelby said softly, looking shocked and immediately feelingherfacegored.

"Goodmorning.MayIsitwithyou?"

"Yes,certainly."

Nikolailookedathisownbulletinandsermonnotesinaneffortnottostareather,buthe'dseenherredfaceandcouldtellbythemovementshecaughtoutofthecornerofhiseyethatshewasunsettledbyhispresence.

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A fewminutes remainedbefore theservicebegan, sohe leanedslightlyandsaid,"Doyoualwayssitonthisside?"

"Yes.Isthatallright?"

"Ofcourse.Didyouknowthatmyparentssitontheotherside?"

"Yes.ItalktothemwhenIcomein.Ifyouwantmetositwiththem,Ican."

"No,itdoesn'tmatter,"Nikolaitoldherquicklyastheservicewasstarting.Helistened with great attention, but not before reminding himself that he wouldneed to find away to letShelbyknow she could relax.He suspected that shethoughthehadrulesandregulationsforeverything,andinadesperateattempttodotherightthing,shewasterriblynervousandcontriteinhispresence.Thathehadfrightenedherwasnotlostfromhismemoryeither.Thatmatterwashislastprayerastheannouncementswerecompletedandtheysangthefirstsong.

"Andwheredidyougoafterthat?"Shelbyaskedthelittlegirlinthekitchen.

"WeatedinneratSamba's.Ihadpie."

"Thatsoundswonderful.Whattypeofpiewasit?"

Thechild,EmmaGreene,lookedtoherAuntArlanda.

"Ithinkyouhadtheberry,"Arlandafilledin.

"Berry," Emma told Shelby, her hand still touching Shelby's hair. Thehousekeeperhadtriedtotellhernottotouch,butShelbyhadwavedheraway."Ilikered,"Emmawenton."IwishIhadredhair."

"Doyouwantmine?"Shelbycheckedwithher.

"Yourhair?"

"Sure!"Shelbyroundedhereyesandsaid,"We'lljusttrade."

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Emmalaughed."Idon'tthinkwecan.Mydaddylikesmyhairtoomuch."

"Ilikeittoo.Blackhairisbeautiful."

Emma smiled with pleasure and then heard the timer. She stood withreluctancebutdidn't complain.HerAuntArlandahad toldher theycould stayuntilthekitchentimerbuzzed.

"Itwasnicetomeetyou,Emma."

"Thankyou,"thelittlegirlsaidasshesmiledupather.

Shelbywalked them to thedoor andevenoutside,wavingas the carpulledaway.Shehadbeenonherway to theparkandpassed through thekitchen tofindEmmaandArlanda.Theyhadbeenontheirwayout,butArlandaheldbackwhenShelbyhadbeguntospeakwithEmma.NowShelbystoodandwavedonemore time before moving toward the dense growth of trees and the path sheknewshewouldfind.Shehadbeen tempted togetherskatesbuthadn't foundout yet if thepark allowed skates andbicycles on thepaths.Shewasvaguelyaware ofKris following somepaces behind her.Hehadbecome a part of herworld,andmostofthetimeshetookhispresenceforgranted.

"Well,Shelby,hello,"thequeensaidfromdownthepath,herowncompaniontrailingheratsomedistance.

"Hi."Shelby smiledwhen she spottedher, gladlymoving forward to acceptherembrace."Howareyou?"

"I'mfineandlovingthisweather.Howaboutyou?"

"I'mfine."

"Areyoureally,Shelby?Imeanreally?'

HertonewassosuddenlyseriousthatShelbystaredather.

"Ithinkso,"sheanswereduncertainly."Whydoyouask?"

Thequeensearchedtheyoungerwoman'sfacebeforesaying,"Shelby,comesitonthisbenchwithme,willyou?"

Thetwowomengotcomfortablebeforethequeenwentonquietly.

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"Iwantyoutoknow,Shelby,thatNikolaicametousaboutthewayhetreatedyou."

"Oh,"Shelbysaiduncomfortably,stillsorryshehadbeensofoolishandrun."Ididn'thandlethatverywell."

"Shelby,whatareyoutalkingabout?I'veseenNikolaiangry.It'snotaprettything.Theonlydifference is that Iknowhewouldn'tdoanything.Youhadnosuchguaranteebecauseyou'restilltoounfamiliarwithhim.Now,Iwantyoutotellmeifyou'reallright."

Shelby's gaze went to the trees overhead. "I haven't been able to talk toanyone, not even my parents. I can't stand the thought they'll think badly ofNikolai.Iknowhewasupset,butatthemomentIdidn'tstoptoanalyzeit.Ijusthadtogetaway."

ThequeenpickedupShelby'shand.Shehelditgentlyandcontinued.

"You're still speaking as thoughyoudid thewrong thing, dear.Nikolaiwascompletelyatfault,andhisfatherandIknowthat.We'resopleasedwiththewayyoulethimapologizeandthatyouforgavehim.Heknowshewaswrong."

For the first time since the incident, Shelby began to listen. She had beenwrappedupinherownlittleworldofhurtandnotthinkingclearly.Shestaredatthe queen as understanding dawned and then admitted quietly, "I thought youmightbesorryyouchosemetomarryNikolai."

Foramoment,thequeen'seyesclosedinpain."Nothingcouldbefurtherfromthetruth,Shelby."Shebentclosenowtobesureshewasbeingheard."IfRafeandIcoulddoitalloveragain,youwouldstillbetheone."

As if her heartwas a bird that had been set free of its cage, Shelby felt asthoughshecould fly.For the first time indays, she felt shecould takeadeepbreath. So completely out of her depth in this place, terrified of making amistakeanddisappointingthekingandqueen-nottomentionbeingofnousetotheprince-

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Shelbysuddenlyknewtheworstwasover.Theprincemightnever loveher.Shemightneverhaveanintimatemarriageorchildrenwithhim,butshecouldbe herself, she could be thewomanGod had created her to be, and that wasworthalmostanycosttoShelby.

"Thankyou,"Shelbysaidatlast."Ican'ttellyouwhatahelpyou'vebeen."

"I'mglad,Shelby.Ican'tstandtoseeyouhurting."

"Well,I'msureI'llhurtagain,buttheLordneverpromisedawalkinthepark,andinthefutureIknowI'llbeabletohandleit."

Erica couldn't resist hugging her again, an embrace Shelby gladly returned.Shelbywasjuststartingherwalk,andEricawasonherwayhome,soafterafewmoreminutesthewomenpartedcompany.Shelby'slonglegsateupthepathasshekeptherselfjustshortofarun,herheartprayerfulandlightasachild's.Shedecidedshewouldhavetodropanotetothequeen,thankingheragain.

"ButhowwouldIwordit?"Shelbyaskedtheairinfrontofher."Nevermind,Shelby.Youalreadythankedher.Letitgoatthat."

Kris, still trailing her and keeping his eyes open, had the impression thatsomethingwasdifferent.Aswashisjob,hewouldjusthavetowaitandsee.

"Andwhere is the princess?" the prince asked ofMurdock. It had been hisstandard question for the last ten weeks. It had started after the King's Ball.PrincessShelbywasconstantlyindemand,andunlessshewaswiththeprince,therathershy,quietyoungwomanwasgone.

Thestaff"hadhadasmalltasteofShelbyinthefirstseveralweeksshelivedinthepalace,buttherealwoman,thewomanwholikedtobakecookiesatteno'clockatnightorslideinstockingfeet

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alongthepolishedfloorsofthehallway,wasnowoutinfullforce.Theyalsofoundherkinderthanever-takinghotsouptooneofthestaffmemberswhenshewas downwith a cold and cookies to the queenmotherwhen she learned her

favoritetype.

Nikolai had foolishly packed his schedule when they had first married andnowfoundhimselfalwaysmovingintheoppositedirectionfromhiswife.Thathehadoriginallywantedthisandwasstilltemptedtodoitwasbesidethepoint.Heknew itwaswrong,but in someways thedamagewasdone,at least foratime.OtherthanSundaymorningsandeveningswhentheywerebothinchurch,hewouldneverhaveknownwhereshewasifithadn'tbeenforMurdock.Thereweretimeswhenthingsweretoosettoberearranged,buttheprincewasmakingagenuineefforttogettoknowhisshywife.Intheprocesshewasfindingoutthatshewasonepopularlady.

"Letme rephrase that" theprince said. "Is there anyplace Imight catchupwithhertoday?"Hewatchedhisministercheckhisever-presentcalendarbook.

"She's at the care center this morning, but at noon she's scheduled at theFaraday Garden Club for a luncheon with your grandparents. The ladies andgentlemenoftheclubhaveaskedhertobeamember.Theywillpresentherwithadozen trees toplanthere at thepalace andadozenmore toplantwhere shechooses.Theyhaveaskedhertoaddressthegroupafterthepresentation."

Theprincelookedthoughtful."Haveyouheardherspeak,Murdock?"

"Notpersonally,sir,butbothKrisandHanktellmethatsheholdsanaudienceinthepalmofherhand."

Nikolai nodded slowly. "I'll head there as soon as I finish my Bible studyassignmentfromGrandfather."

"Willyoumakeitfortheluncheon,sir?"

"Ishould."

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"I'll call ahead and warn them," Murdock said as he made a note in thedaybook.

"Isshehappy?"theprinceaskedsuddenly,hisvoicelow.

Thefaithfulhouseministerlookedupathim."Iwouldsayshe'sveryhappy,

PrinceNikolai."

"DoessheeveraskaboutmeorwhereIam?"

Murdockshookhisheadno."IfImaybesobold,sir,I thinkshewouldsaythatit'snoneofherbusiness."

Nikolainodded."It'sanunconventionalsituation;there'snodoubtaboutthat."

Murdockopenedhismouthtospeakbutcloseditagain.Theprincecaughttheactionandcommandedhimto"spititout."

"IwasgoingtosaythatgiventimeIthinkthatwillchange,butIremembered,sir, youmay not wish for that change, and thenmywords would be of littlecomforttoyou."

Nikolai stared athisold friendand servant. "You're right.At thismoment Iwouldn'tcareforthat,butIhavearesponsibility.Shelby'sparentsgaveherhandtome,believingshewouldbewell. Iwant toknow that she'shappyandcaredfor."

Now itwasMurdock's turn to nod. Shelbywas happy, he had just told theprincethat,butastothefuture-afuturewithamanwhokeptheratarm'slength-thatwouldremaintobeseen.

"We're so glad to have you again, Princess Shelby," the matron, a Mrs.Radford,atthecarecentersaid."Willyoubestayinguntillunch?"

"Nottoday,"Shelbysaidcalmly,buthermindwasracing.Shehadseensomethingsinthisplacethatmadeheruncomfortable.Asoneofthedirectors,shehadbeen allowed to question and inspect to her heart's desire. She hadn't seenanything too noticeable, but the matron was always so swift to point out thewaysshe

81

was saving money. Shelby hadn't seen anything in the books that wouldindicatethecenterwasinfinancialtrouble,sothismadenosensetoher.

Thenshebegantonoticewherethecutbacksweretakingplace-theywereallinthediningroom.Shelbyhadeatenwiththeresidentstwiceandbothtimeswas

veryuncomfortablewithwhatshe'dseenandeaten.Shewasnotapersonwhousuallymadesnapjudgments,willingtogiveothersthebenefitofthedoubt,andshewasnotgoingtobehastynow,butaftervisitingwithafewoftheresidentsas well as the staff, Shelbymade amental note to visit at mealtime the nextchanceshehad.

"Iwasatthecarecenterthismorning,"ShelbytoldNikolai'sgrandparentsastheywalked toward theAugustBotanicalGardens. The daywas sunny, not acloudanywhere,butthetemperaturewasonlyinthemid-seventies.

"You'readirectornow,aren'tyou?"KingAntonasked.

"Yes.tookoverforyourmother.ShewasdelightedwhenItoldher."

"Weplantotakeheraflower,Shelby,"Ketratoldher."We'llbesureandtellheryouwerebackatthecentertoday."

"OrIcouldtaketheflowerforyou,"Shelbyofferedwithasmile,"andtellhermyself."

The three were still talking as they entered the gardens and were almostimmediatelyjoinedbysomeof themembers.Shelbymetseveraldozenpeoplebeforehavingachancetoexcuseherself,wishingshe'dusedtheladies'roomatthe care center; thebathroomat thegardenswasquite a longwalk away.Shewasstillinoneofthestallswhenatleasttwootherladiescamein.

"Ismyslipshowing?"

"No,it'sfine."

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"Didyouseehim?"

"Yes.I'mtellingyou,Liz,he'sthebestlookingmanI'veeverseen."

"You'renotkidding."

"Theprincessisheretodaytoo."

"Really?Ididn'tknowthat."

"That'swhatmymothertoldme.I'veheardshe'sbeautiful."

Theotherwomansniffed,hervoiceplayful."Idon'tcarewhatshelookslike;heshouldhavemarriedme."

Bothwomenleftinlaughter,butShelbydidn'tjoinin.Shedidn'tknowwhathappened toherwhenherhusbandwasnear,but shedefinitelywasn't herself.Shedidn'treallythinkitcouldbecalledfear-no,itwasmorelikeawe.Yes,thatwastheword.Awewaswhensomethingmadeyouabittongue-tiedandputyouata loss.Hehadbeennothinghutagentlemanforweeksnow.Indeed,Shelbyhad never known such a gentleman, but she still felt awkward and shy in hispresence.

Sheexitedthebathroomwithasmallmeasureofpanicrisinginherbreast,allthe while telling herself to calm down and be respectful. She wasn't ten feetoutside thedoorwhen she stopped to look towhere theywouldeat lunchandhavetheprogram,thefrondsofalargeplantmakingitalmost impossible.Shewas in themidst of taking adeepbreath to subdueher nerveswhenhe spokefrombehindher.

"Shelby."

"Oh,Nikolai!" she exclaimed, ahandgoing toherheart. "Ididn't seeyou."Hereyeshugewithfright,shelookedupathimandsawhimsmile.Didhethinkitwas funny?For the first timesince she'dmethim, she foundherself feelinggrumpytowardhim.

"Ididn'tknowyouweregoingtobehere,"shesaid,hervoiceabitformal.

"Myplanswereofthelastminutevariety,orIwouldhaveinformedyou."

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Looking unconsciously regal, Shelby nodded and began walking down thepath,notcaringifhefollowedornot.Hestayedrightatherside,matchinghislonger legs to her steps. Still a bit miffed, she didn't speak to him again butsmiledatafewpeoplewhopassed.

"This is quite anhonor," Nikolaispokeup." Ithink the average age of themembershereisabout50."

"IfIdidn'tknowbetter,I'dsayyoujusttoldmeIlookedold."

Nikolailookeddownatherprofiletoseeifshehadbeenjokingandcouldn'ttell.Heoptednottosmileagain,eventhoughhewantedto,buthesuspectedshemightbeupsetwithhimaboutsomething.

"Howoldareyou,Shelby?Ican'tremember."

"I'm23,"shetoldhim,notbotheringtomentionthatshewouldonlybethatageforafewmoredays.

Hearingthenoteinhervoice,Nikolaidecidedtostayquietagain.Hehonestlydidn'tknowherwellenoughtogaugewhethershewasupsetwithhimornot,buthewasn'twillingtochanceitBoththeprinceandprincesswererelievedtolookupandseeAntonandKetraaheadofthem.

"Youfoundher,Nicky,"Ketrasaidwithasmile."Ithinktheywantustotakeourseats."

Thepresidentofthegardenclub,Mr.Potts,cameforwardthentoshowthemto their seats and give them a rundown on the next few hours. Shelby foundherself quietly taking it all in and smiling onlywhenMr. Potts looked in herdirection.Thethreepeoplewithherwereoldprosatthissortofthing,andshethoughtshewoulddobestjusttowatchandlisten.Shewassoquietinfact,thatwhen lunchwas over and she excused herself before itwas time tomake heraddress,thequeenregentmentionedittohergrandson.

"She'ssoshyaroundyou,Nicky.I'venoticeditbefore."

"Youdon'tfindhershywithyou?"

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"Notintheleast.Shewasthosefirstfewweeks,butnolonger.Sheevencallsattimestoaskmequestionsorsayhi,andshevisitswithAnton'smotheratleastonceaweek."

Nikolaiwassilentlyamazed.Heknewhehadalongwaytogo,butnotuntilthatmomentdidherealizehowfar.Ifhecouldhavelookedintohisdatebookrightthen,hemighthavestartedtoadjusthisscheduleonthespot.TheLordhadbeen speaking to his heart and leaving no doubt as towhat he should do:He

needed to get to knowhiswife.He often felt theLord prompting him to talkwithher,tosharehislifeandaskheraboutherown.HewasaskingtheLordtogive him strength to do just that when he saw Shelby heading up to thetemporaryspeakingplatform.

"King Regent Anton, Queen Regent Ketra, Prince Nikolai, President Potts,members of the August Garden Club, gardeners, and guests," Shelby began,"thank you for presenting me with this honor. I have long loved flowers,althoughI'vebeenaccusedofhavingablackthumb,andIfindmyselfdelightedwiththechancetovisithereandfeelathome.

"ForaslongasIcanremember,mymotherhashadasummergarden.Someyears it flourished and some years it didn't. She was never very interested inhouseplants, but come the spring, you could find her amid her flowers in thebackyard of our home. The only drawback for her was the honey bees. Mymotherhatedthethoughtofgettingstung,andjustthebuzzwouldcausehertofleetowhatevershedeemedasafedistance.

"My father had no such problem.He enjoyed the garden onweekends, andyoucouldalwaysfindhimoutwithmymother.Thebeesdidn'tbotherhim.Thereason for this might be that my father has been deaf from childhood. MybrotherandIwatchedallofthisasweweregrowingup,andsomewherealongthelineImadeaconnectioninmymind.Yousee,mymotherwasneverstung,andneitherwasmyfather,butmymother'shearingputherinapositiontofear.

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"Ifoundmyselfasking, 'WhatdoIlistentothatcausesmetofear?'Itmightseemlikeasmallthingtoyou,butovertheyearsthesightofflowersortreeshasoftenhelpedmeremembertowhomIshouldlistenwhenitcomestothesubjectoffear.ItisforthisreasonthatIwillplantmy12treesatthepalaceinaplacewhereIwillbeabletowatchthemgrow.Andselfishlyenough,I'llplantthe12other trees where I can see them on occasion. I'll think of them as my 24reminderstolistentotherightvoiceandbewiseaboutmyfears.Thankyouforthetrees.IknowGodwillusetheminmylifeinaspecialway."

Theapplausewasthunderous.Nikolaijoinedin,buthewasstunned.Shehadbeen wonderful. Toby had come to his parents and said he'd found someone

special-this hadbeenwhat hewas talking about.Shewas coming towardhimnow,andNikolaistood,smilingdownonherassheneared.Onimpulsehebentandkissedhercheek.

"Thatwaswonderful,"hewhisperedinherearjustbeforehehelpedherwithherchair.

"Thankyou,"Shelbysaidasshesmiledathim,butshecouldn'tstoptheblushthatstainedhercheeks.

Dessertwas served after that, but Shelbywasn't given a chance to enjoy it.Manypeoplecametotheirtabletothankherorsharetheirownstories.Nikolaiwatchedthegraciouswayshereceivedeveryoneandhadtokeephismindfromturningtobitterthoughts.Yvettehadnotlikedpublicappearancesorbeengoodincrowds.Theprincehadnotroublewiththis,butinhismindhepicturedsomeofthesepeoplecomparingthetwowomen.ThethoughtofhisYvettecomingupshortwasintolerabletohim.

Theprincedidnotlethisfeelingsshow,butneitherdidtheyputhiminagoodhumor.Hemadenoattempt toengagetheprincess inconversationonthewayhome. She had come to the garden club with the king and queen regent butnaturallydeparted

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withherhusband for the return trip to thepalace.His silenceunnervedher,and Shelby found herselfwishing she had come in her own vehicle. Itwasn'tsurprising thatwhen the car delivered them to the front door, she escaped hispresencejustassoonasshewasable.

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ThePrincess

Seven

"Is the princess out of town this weekend, Murdock?" Nikolai asked theministerassoonashearrivedhomefromchurchSundaymorning.

"ShewenttoHenleyfortheday,sir.DoIneedtocontactherforyou?"

"No. Thank you, Murdock. I only wondered because I didn't see her thismorning."

Thehouseministerexitedtheroomthen,seeingthattheprincewaslostinhisown thoughts.Nikolai,workinghard tokeephis frustrationatbay,didn'tevenhearhimleave.Heknewverywellthathewaspayingforhisownmistakes,butthatdidn'tchangetheangsthefeltbroilinginside.

IttakesmeforevertoobeyYou,andwhenI'mreadytodotherightthing,mywife disappears. She has got to be the busiest womanI've ever known.Nikolaiknewhesoundedirritatedandalsoknewthathehadnoright;hehadnoonetoblamebuthimself.ShelbyhadbeeninthecarwithhimonWednesdayafterthegardenclubmeeting,andhe'devenseenherafewtimestherestoftheweek,butthewillingness to tryagaindidnotcomeuntilSaturdaynight.OnSundayshewas gone for the day.He knewverywell that he'd had opportunities and lostthem.

Nikolaisatbackinhischair.Shelby'sfacewasinhismindthewayhe'dseenherbrieflyonFriday,andaplanwasalsoforming

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Murdockneeded timeoffasmuchasanyone,soNikolaiwould let itgo forthe day, but first thingMondaymorning hewouldmeet againwith his houseminister.

"Oh, Mother!" Shelby exclaimed when she tore the wrapping off her lastbirthdaygift."Myfavorite."

Daria smiledbut then shookher head.From the time shewas little, ShelbyhadlovedFairyCakes,awhitecakeandfrostingconfectionthatcouldbefoundinanymarket.Daria,knowingsheprobablyhadn'thadtheminages,hadboughttwoboxesandwrappedthem.

"IthinkI'lleatonerightnow,"Shelbydeclared."DoIhavetoshare?"

"Yes,"Bricetoldherinnouncertainterms.

"Allright,"shesaid,hervoiceplayfullygrudging."Butonlyone,Brice.You

canbuyyourown."

"Thewholecountrythinksyou'rethemostwonderfullygivingwomanintheland,"heteasedher."Whatwouldtheysayiftheycouldseeyounow?"

"Theywouldn't saya thing," she said,her smile cheeky. "Everyonebutyouseems to understand that no woman should be asked to part with her FairyCakes."

"Pathetic,"herbrotherpronouncedaboutherbut still took theone cake sheoffered.

"Didyouwantone,Fa?"Shelby,relenting,askedJosiah.

He shook his head. "I don't know how you stand those things when yourmothermadethatdeliciouscake."

"I'lleatsomeofthattoo,"Shelbytoldhimplacidly,makinghermotherlaugh.

Dariawas delighted to have her daughter home for the day and told her asmuch,butbeforeShelbylefttoreturntothepalace,

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shewasdeterminedtolearnwhyNikolaihadnotaccompaniedher.Oftenshehadheldher tongue,knowingherdaughterneeded time,buton thisoccasion,bothDariaandJosiahagreedthatifNikolaididnotcomewithher,theywouldwanttoknowwhy.WhenShelbyhadnotbeenlooking,shehadaskedJosiahifhe'daskedthequestion.Whenhesaidno,DariaplannedjusthowshewouldgetShelbyalone.Nowwasthetime.

"Shelby,willyoucomehelpmewiththecakeandicecream?"

"Sure."

Shelbyrosewithouthesitation,andjustassoonastheywerebehindtheclosedkitchendoor,Dariaspoke.

"We had hoped that Nikolai would come with you, Shelby. Was he busytoday?"

"Idon'tknow.Ididn'taskhim."

"You didn't ask him if hewas busy, or you didn't ask him to your twenty-fourthbirthdayparty?"

"Ididn'taskhimanything"theredheadadmitted,lookingacrosstheroomathermother,whowastakingbonbonsfromthefreezer.

"Canyoutellmewhat'sgoingon?"Dariaasked,herfaceopenandshowingalltheloveandcaringshefelt.

Shelbyshruggedasshegotoutnapkinsandforks."Iwenttothepalacewithsuchnobleideas,Mother,buttheprincedoesn'tneedme.It'stakenawhiletoseethat,butit'strue.MostofthetimeIcantellhedoesn'twantmeanywherenearhim,soIdon'ttrytopushin."

"Whatdoyoutrytodo?"

"Behelpfultoeveryoneelse.Ihonestlyenjoyit,Mother,andIcan'timagineleaving there, but I'mnot important to the prince. I seem to be important andlovedbythestaffandevenNick'sfamily,butNickdoesn'twantorneedme."

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"Oh, Shelby,"Dariawhispered, her heart breakingwith this news. "Doyouthinkitwillstaythatway?Doyouthinkhe'llnevergetoverher?"

Shelby tippedherhead tooneside in thought.Shewasdoingherbest tobepragmaticaboutit."Asyouliketoremindme,neverisalongtime,andIhavetokeepremindingmyselfthatithasn'tbeenthatmanymonths.Butforthepresent,atleast,IthinkthebestthingIcandoisstayoutoftheprince'sway.HecheckswithMurdockaboutme-I'veheardhimdoit-andhedoesaskmehowI'mdoingifheseesme,butthat'snotveryoften."

"Are you going and doing too much? Should you make yourself moreavailabletohim?"

"Iwouldn't knowhow todo that. I dohave aprettybusy schedule, but I'mhomealottoo.Unlessweendupinthesameplace,andthatrarelyhappens,hejustdoesn'tseekmeout.IfIweretomakemyselfmoreavailable,IthinkI'dendupsittingaroundthepalacewhiletheprinceleadshisownlife."

Darianoddedbutdidn'tspeak.Somethingwasn'tright.Whenevershereadof

one of the royal couples going out, theywere together. Itwas something of atradition.NotknowingifthisfacthadescapedShelby'snotice,Dariaoptednottomentionit.Clearlytheprincewaskeepingthemapart.ThethoughtwasenoughtocauseDariatoweep.Forcingherselftorememberthatthiswasherdaughter'sbirthday,sheputthethoughtaside.

"I'mgladIcheckedwithyou,dear,"shesaidinstead."KnowthatyourfatherandIwillbepraying."

"Thankyou,Mother."

ShelbygaveDaria ahugand theolderwomanheldon tightly.Will she everknowamother'slove,Father?Willtheprinceeverloveher'?'Willsheeverholdtheirchildinherarms?Youareabletodothis,Lord,andIpraythatYouwill-inYourtimeandinYourway.

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"Whatdoyoumeanhechangedmyschedule?"Shelbyaskedsoftly,staringatMurdock.Thatmanshiftedalittleinhischair.

"He didn't give his reasons, but he asked me to cancel certain of yourappointments."

"DidhesayIshouldseehim?"

"No,"Murdockregrettedtoadmit."But-"

"Whereistheprince?"Shelbycuthimoffwiththisquestion.

"Hewas in his office earlier, but I'm not-"Murdock stopped speaking.Theprincesshadalreadycometoherfeetandwasheadedtowardthedoor.

Nikolai's head was bent over the papers he was studying when Shelbyappearedathisdoorway.ThinkingitwasMurdock,whowouldknowtocomeinifthedoorwasopen,theprincedidnotimmediatelylookup.Sureshewasbeingignored,Shelbybecameallthemoreupset.

"Iwouldliketospeakwithyou,"shefinallyblurted,andNikolailookedupinsurprise.

"Comein,"hesaidashestood,hisexpressionopen.

"Youchangedmyschedule,"Shelbystatedwithoutpreamble.

"Yes,Idid,Shelby.Ithoughtitwasforthebest."

"Whatdoyoumean?"

"Youlookedtiredtome,andweneed-"

"Tired1."Shelby interrupted, sounding as shocked and angry as she looked."Mostofthetimeyoudon'tevenknowIexist,andnowyousayI'mtired."

Theprince lookedsurprisedby thispronouncement,butShelby, still feelingveryupset,gavehimnotimetospeak.

"Imaybetheprincess,NikolaiMarkham,butyoudon'townme.I'm24yearsold,andI'mperfectly-"

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"You're24?"theprincesaidwithafrown."!thoughtyouwere23."

"Ihadabirthday,anddon'tchangethesubject!ThefactisI'mnotachild,andyouhadnorighttochangerayschedule."

Forseveralmomentsthetwostoodintensesilence.

"Asamatteroffact,"Nikolaifinallybeganquietly,"asyourhusband,1haveeveryright."

Knowinghowcorrecthewas,Shelby'sshouldersslumpedindefeat.Lookingutterlymiserable,shestoodinsubduedsilence,herbruisedheartmakingherfeelpainallover.

"Idowish,however,"Nikolaiwenton,"that1hadspokentoyou.I'msorryIdidn't."

"I'msorryIspoketoyouthatway,"Shelbysaidinreturn,hervoicesoft."I'llleaveyoutogetbacktoyourwork."

Shelbywasatthedoorbeforehecalledhername.Shestoppedbutdidn'tturn.Nikolaiwenttoher,slippingaroundherinthedoorwayinordertoseeherface,butshestillrefusedtolookathim.Eventheloweringofhereyesdidn'thidethe

moisturethere.

"Oh, Shelby," Nikolai whispered. Without giving himself a chance toreconsider,hetookherinhisarms."I'msosorry."

"IjustwishIunderstood,"heheardhersaybeforeshetippedherheadbacktolookupathim.Nikolaisteppedbackuntilhishandswereonhershoulders.Shelookedsopuzzled,buthedidn'thavethewordstoexplainitrightnow.

"TellMurdockmadeamistakeaboutyourscheduleand todowhateveryouthinkisbest,Shelby.Allright?"

"Okay."

Nikolaistudiedherfaceamoment."Areyouallright?"hefinallyasked.

"Yes.AndIamsorry,Nick."

"AsamI.We'llforgetit,okay?"

Shelbynodded,andhedroppedhishandsfromhershoulders.

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"I'llseeyoulater."

"Allright."

Nikolaislippedbackintohisoffice,andShelbywentwithMurdock,whohadcometotellNikolaithatacallhadcomein.Theymetoverherscheduleforthenexthour,alittlelongerthanusual,andhadthingsworkedoutbylatemorning.Shelby did leave some time open, thinking if she did get tired and the princewantedtoseeher,shewouldneedtobefresh.

The rest of the day was a blur of activity that lasted well past dark. ThateveningShelbyattendedabirthdaypartybyherself-theinvitationhadbeenforheralone-buthermindwasalmostconstantlyonherspouse.Nikolaiwasinthesameboatandhadgonetoseeafriendassoonashefinishedhisowndinner.Hewasthereforonereason:totalkabouthiswife.

"Imake such amess of things,Ryan. It's not as if I've never beenmarriedbefore,butI'msuchaklutzaroundShelby."

"It's not the same type of marriage, Nick. Surely you can see that. Stopexpectingittobethesame."

Nikolaionlyshookhisheadandtoldaboutwhathadhappenedthatmorning.

"Butsheseemedallrightwhenyoulefther?"Ryancheckedwithhim.

"Asmuch as could be expected. I know she's still somewhat frightened ofme."

"Whyissheafraidofyou?"

Nikolaitoldthatstory,andagainhisgoodfriendlistenedquietlyuntiltheend.

"Sowhat'stheplanatthispoint?"Ryanasked.

"Accountability.I'mheretoaskyoutocheckonme."

"Andwhatdoyouwantmetoask?"

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"IfI'm talking tomywife. Not if I've askedMurdock about her, but if I'vetalked to her myself. I also want you to check with me about whether we'redoingthingstogether.I'vegotthingsscheduledinsuchawaythatit'sgoingtotakesometimetomergeourcalendars,butit'stimetostartworkingonthat."

"Andareyoudreadingthis?"

"Yes," Nikolai admitted. "She's a very sweet woman, and she makes nodemandsonme,soit'seasytoforgetshe'seventhere,butshe'snotthewomanIlove.Sheismywife,however,andIneedtofacethatresponsibility."

Ryanlookedathimforamomentbeforesaying,"I'mproudofyou,Nick."

Nikolaishookhishead."Idon'tthinkthere'sanythingtobeproudof."

"You'rewrongaboutthat.You'rehurtingandyetcarryingon,andIdon'tknowhowmanymencoulddothat."

"I am hurting," Nikolai admitted softly. "Some days I'm not even sure IbelieveYvette isgone,yet I alreadyhaveanotherwife. It's the strangest thingI've ever experienced. I'd be ready to throw in the towel if it wasn't for the

woman herself." Nikolai had been staring across the room but now looked athisfriend." It'sso easy to see people as less than they are, as less than people.Untilourweddingday,ShelbyParkerwasjustaname.It'snolongerpossibletothink thatway. I see her, and I see the result of havingher live at the palace.There'snoignoringthatthiswomanisinmylife.Thentherearetimeslikethismorningwhenshelooksatmeinconfusedvulnerability,andthosearethetimesInolongerwanttoignoreherpresence.ThosearethetimesIfinallyseeherasapersonwithfeelingsandneedsandknowthatIhaveajobtodoifI'mgoingtoanswertoGodaboutthetypeofleaderI'vebeeninmyhome."

Ryansmiled."LikeIsaid,Nick,I'mveryproudofyou."

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Nikolai left some time later, his heart encouraged. His parents were out oftown,andforatimehe'dfeltatacompletelossastowhomheshouldcounselwith.Talking toRyanat this timehadbeen likegoing toGodforstrengthandencouragement, and Nikolai believed that God had used his friend.When hewoke in the morning, the evening was still on his mind. He showered anddressed,hopinghehadn'tmissedhiswifefortheday.

Her breakfast ignored, Shelby was buried in the newspaper when Nikolaiwalkedintothekitchen.Fransmiledathimbutdidn'tspeak,soShelbyhadnoideathatherhusbandhadsatdownacrossfromheruntilhisfingercurledoverthetopofthepaperandpulleditdownjustenoughtopeekather.

"Goodmorning,"hesaidquietly.

"Good morning," she returned, her face going pink when she realized shehadn'tevenfelthispresence."Ididn'tseeyou."Shefoldedthepaperandsetitaside.

"Youmusthavebeenreadingsomethinginteresting."

"Thecricketscores."

"Youfollowcricket?"

Shelbynodded,nowplayingwiththetoastandmelonslicesonherplate."Mybrotherplays."

"Whatschoolisheattending?"

"MiltonWest."

"What daywas your birthday?"Nikolai asked suddenly, notwilling to beataroundthebushanylonger.

"Sunday."

"Whatdayshallwecelebrate?"

"Oh,well,um,anytimeIguess.Nikolai?"

"Yeah."

"WereyouaroundonSunday,orwereyoubusy?"

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if

"Iwashere."

Shelby sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't invite you home with me.My folks hadsome cake and gifts. I just didn't think you would want to come. I'm sorry Ididn'tcheckwithyou."

"Iunderstandwhyyoudidn't,Shelby.Wedon'tseethatmuchofeachother."

Shelbysmiledathim,relievedthatheunderstood.Hehadputhisfingeronitverywell.Itwouldhavebeenlikeaskingastrangertohelphercelebrate.

"Ithinkyourparentsstillplantohaveusoverfordinner."

"Yes,theydo.TheyaskedmeonSundayif1knewagoodtime,andIhadtobehonestandtellthemIwasn'tsure."

"HavethemcallMurdock.Hehasafingeronbothourschedules."

"I'lldothat."

"So," Nikolaisaid,coming back tothe celebration. "What day should we goout?"

Shelbyshrugged."Idon'tknow."

"Whattypeofcelebrationdoyoulike-lunch,dinner,dressyorcasual?"

Shelby's head tilted in thought. "I have to dress upmost days, so I guess Iwouldgoforcasual,maybesomethingoutsideinthesunshine."Thewordswereno more out of her mouth than she thought she sounded presumptuous andblushedagain."Butanything is fine,"shehurried tosay."Wedon'thave todoanythingifyou'rebusy."

"Leaveittome,"Nikolaisaidcalmly,eventhoughherecognizedthathe'djustseen through a smallwindow intowho shewas. "I'll get back to you or haveMurdockputsomethingonthecalendarforbothofus."

"Thankyou."

Nikolaicheckedhiswatchbutsurprisedtheprincessbynotrushingaway.HeaskedFranforsomebreakfastandsatacrossthetablefromShelbytoeatit.

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"May1sharesomeofthispaper?"

"Certainly."

ThetwoendedupeatingtotherustleofthenewspaperandthesoundofFranworkingonpastrydough.Shelbywasthefirsttoleavethekitchen.Nikolaitoldhertohaveagoodday,butotherthanstandingoutofcourtesy,hestayedwherehe was. Shelby was gone before he set the paper aside and ate in thoughtfulcontemplation.

Nikolaihuggedhismotherwhenshemethiminthefoyerdownstairs.Shehadcalledtotellhimshewascomingoverwithsomepapers.Nikolaihadwantedtostretchhislegs,sohelefthisofficeandwaitedforherinthespaciousfoyerthatwasthehallmarkofeachofthequadrants.

"Howareyou,dear?"Ericaaskedwarmlyasshelookedupathim.

"I'mdoingwell.HowareyouandFather?"

"Wehadagreattimeatthelake-sopeaceful.Doyouhaveplanstogosoon?"

"Idon'tthinkso,butitsoundswonderful.Youlooktanandrested."

EricawasopeninghermouthtosaythatNikolaididnorlookrested,butsheglancedupandsawShelbycomingtowardthem.

"Oh,Shelby'sonherway."

Nikolai turned and froze.Coming towardhimwashiswife, but unlikehe'deverseenher.Shehadcutherhairoff towellabovehershouldersanddyeditblack.Ifaslightbreezehadcomedownthehall,itwouldhavebeenenoughtopushNikolaiover.

Allthistimehenevertoldherhowprettyherhairis,andnowshe'sdyedit.

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"Shelby,"Erica calledand thengreetedherwith ahug, "youmustbeoff toBiblestudy."

TherestoftheirconversationwaslostonNikolai.NowthatShelbywasveryclose,hesuspectedshewaswearingawig,butallhecoulddowasstareathiswifeandthenathismother,whowasactingasthougheverythingwasnormal.

"I'dbettergo,"Shelby'svoicecutbackthroughhistrance."Goodbye."

"Goodbye,"Ericasaidwarmly.Nikolaimanagedonlyawave.

"Whatisit,Nicky?"Ericaaskedwhenshesawherson'sface.

"HowdidyouknowshewasgoingtoBiblestudy?"

"Thewig."

"ShewearsawigtoBiblestudy?"

Erica'slookwasthoughtfulandfaintlydisapproving.

"ShelbyhasBiblestudywithseveralladies,allofwhomhavecancerandareinvariousstagesoftreatment.Shewearsawiginempathyandcamaraderie."

Nikolainodded,anotherglimmeroflightcomingthroughabouthiswife.

"Tellme,Nicky,"Ericaaskedsoftly, "areyouworkingatall toget toknowher?"

Nikolaididnotimmediatelyanswer.Hewantedtobecompletelyhonest,butthingswerechangingsofast.

"It'scoming,Mother,butIwon'ttellyouI'mthere.JustinthelastweekI'verealizedsomethings,andI'mworkingonthem,buttodate,Idon'tknowheratall."

"Thankyoufortellingme,Nicky.I'llkeeppraying,andyoukeepworkingatit."

"Iwill. She's pretty busy right nowr, and since 1was deliberately trying tokeepbusy and away fromher,we're like ships in the night. Itmay take someweeks to fix that,butMurdock is awareofmydesire to schedulemore thingstogether,andI'mworkingonmyattitude."

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Erica looked at him in frank curiosity. "What has your attitude been,Nick?Canyoutellme?"

AgainNikolai thought and said softly, "There is a lot of fear involved, andyou'llprobablybesurprisedtofindoutthatit'snotoverlovingagainorfindingout thatShelby is awonderfulperson. It'sover thepublic's reaction toShelbyandhowpopularsheis.Ican'tstandthethoughtthatmypreciousYvettewouldbefoundwantingintheireyes."

Ericaputherarmsaroundhersonandhuggedhimforallshewasworth.Hereyeshadfloodedwithtearsonthisreport,soittookamomentforhertospeak.

"Therewill alwaysbeviciouspeople,dear-always.ButeveryonewhoknewYvette adored her.Everyone,Nicky. I don't think you have anything toworryabout. Satan is just using this line of thought to distract you from building amarriagewith a womanwho could stand by your side andworkwith you toglorifyGod."

"No one has actually said anything, so you're probably right. I'm torturingmyselffornoreason."

EricatookNikolai'shandinherown."IlovedYvetteandalwayswill.Ihavemourned for her as though shewere the child ofmy own body, but Iwill be

honest with you, Nick. Shelby has been like a balm for that pain. My onlydaughterisyourwife.IlovedYvetteandIloveShelby.Bothwomenhave,anddo,makeitveryeasy.Giveyourselftime,Nick,asmuchtimeasyouneed,butdon'tunderestimateShelby.Ithinkyouwillbeverysurprisedbywhatyoufindinthewomanyou'vemarried."

Nikolai bent and kissed hismother's soft cheek. She always smelled sweet,and foramomenthewas transportedback tochildhoodandsitting inher lap,safeinthecircleofherarms.Hecouldhonestlysaythatshehadnevermisledhim.Shehadheldhimoften,throughtearsandlaughter,andneveroncehadshetakenajokesofarthathemistrustedher.

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Giveyourselftime,asmuchasyouneed,butdon'tunderestimateShelby.

Asmuch as hewanted to act on hismother'swords,Nikolai found himselfaskingGodtoworkamiracleinhisheart,certainbeyondadoubtthatthiswastheonlyanswer.

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"Murdock," his wife said to him as soon as she spotted him in the diningroom."DidtheprincessgetthefoodIwantedtosendwithher?"

"Of course," Murdock answered quietly, thinking his wife was losing hersenses;hewouldneverforgetsuchathing.

"Good,"shesaidcomplacently,settingthedishesdownfortheprince.

"WherewasShelbytakingfood?"Nikolaiaskedfromhisplaceatthetable.

"Tothelakehouse,sir,"Murdockinformedhim."Sheleftthismorning."

Nikolaididn'treply.HethankedFranfordessertandwentbacktohiseating.Franleftthediningroom,notlookingatherhusbandbutknowinghiseyeswereonher.SheexchangedalookwithArlandaassoonasshewasbehindtheclosedkitchendoor,butneitherwomandaredtospeak.

AnothertenminutespassedbeforeMurdockreturnedtothekitchen,andwhenhedid,itdidnotescapehisnoticethathiswifewastoobusytospeaktohimormeethiseyes.Shelookedsoadorablethathedecidedtodragherintothepantryforascoldingandakiss,buttheprincejoinedthem.

"Murdock,IthinkIwantyoutoaskmygrandfatherifwecantakeaweekofffromourBiblestudy."

"Allright,sir.IsthereanythingelseIcando?"

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"Yes. Let Ivan know that I wish to go to the lake house tonight after mymeeting.Tellhimtogetsomerestifheneedsto."

"I'lltakecareofit,sir."

Nikolaitookhimselffromtheroom,andMurdockwastednotimeinlookingathiswife.Thesmileonherfacewaspositivelywicked.

"FrancisDiane,"hebeganbutstoppedandlaughed.

"I told you last night "she said, coming close as she spoke, her eyes stillsparkling."Sometimesloveneedsalittlehelp."Shewentontiptoetokisshim,anditwassometimebeforeherememberedhehadtocontactthekingregentfortheprince.

ShoutforjoytotheLord,alltheearth.WorshiptheLordwithgladness;comebeforehimwithjoyfulsongs.KnowthattheLordisGod.Itishewhomadeus,andwearehis;wearehispeople,thesheepofhispasture.Enterhisgateswiththanksgivingandhiscourtswithpraise;givethankstohimandpraisehisname.For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continuesthroughat!generations.

EarlySaturdaymorningShelbysatinaloungechaironthedeckandreadtheversesfromPsalm100.ShehadbeenrushingformorethanaweekandtakinglittletimewithherBiblestudy.ShehadlearnedlongagothatstrollingthroughScripturewouldnotfeedher.ShemustdigandmineforthetruthsGodhadforher and take time to findpassages to refresh and remindher of thegreatCodwholovedher.

Thewholepointofcomingtothelakewastorestandtakeiteasyforafewdays,awayfromappointmentsandthetelephone.Thishadbeeneasiersaidthandone.SomarriedtoherroutinehadshebecomethatShelbyhadwokenbeforesixandnotbeenabletosleepagain.Hopingnottodisturbthestaff,shepulledonshorts

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andabaggyT-shirtfromhersuitcaseandwenttothedeckthatoverlookedthelakesoshecouldstudyherBible.Theplanworkedforatime,butthebusyweekwas catching up. Feeling the effects of the early hour, Shelby pulled a lightblanketoverhershoulderandclosedhereyestopray.Shewasstillsoundasleepwhentheprincefoundheralmostanhourlater.

Shelby woke slowly and frowned at the waters of Lake Alston beforerememberingwhere shewas.She stretched likeacat,groaning inpleasure, assheremovedtheMnksfromherbackandneck.

Watching her from another padded chaise,Nikolai remained quiet until shespottedhim.Ashehadcometoexpect,sheblushed.

"Goodmorning,"hesaid,ignoringtheblushandtryingtodismissthewaysheblinkedathimandlookedsouncertain."Didyouwakeearly?"

Shelbynodded."It'ssuchahabit,Iguess."Hervoicesoundedcroaky,andsheswallowed."Didyougetinlastnightorthismorning?"

"Lastnight,Ididn'twakeyou?"

"No.!didn'thearathing.Nikolai,didItakeyourbedroom?"

"Atthelakehouse,everyonefendsforhimself."

"Butthebedissolarge.Maybeyouwouldbemorecomfortableinmyroom."

"Allthebedsarelarge,andI'mfine,butthankyou."

While Shelby watched as his gaze went to the water. He really wasremarkably handsome, just like his father, but Shelby gained so little warmthfromhim.Sheknewhewastrying,buttheyhadalongwaytogo.

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As she watched, a moment of pain seemed to cross his face. His eyesnarrowed,andhischestliftedinasigh.Shelbywantedtolookaway-itseemedsoprivate-butshekeptonstaring.

Whereshegotthecouragetospeakshedidnotknow,butwhenhelookedathershesaidveryquietly,"ItlookedasthoughyouwerethinkingofYvettejustthen."

Nikolailookedbackather."Iwas.Howdidyouknowthat?"

"Ididn'tknow,notforcertain."

Again Nikolai's gaze went back to the clear blue water of the lake. "Sheenjoyedthislakehouse.HerfamilylivedontheMediterranean,andshealwayslovedseeingthewater.Thentherewasastormwhenwewerestayinghereonenight,andsheneverwantedtocomebackherealone."

"I'mnotcrazyaboutstormsmyself,"Shelbytoldhim.Sheglancedupat thehouse."Thewindwouldbescaryagainstallthosewindows."

"Atreecamethroughoneofthewindowsinthelivingroom.Thataboutdidherin,"theprincesaid.Hisvoicehaddroppedasheshared,andShelbywatchedastearscametohiseyes.Shelby'sowneyeswerehugeinanattemptnottojoinhim.

"Ididn'texpecttofeelthisway,"hesaidsoftly."!camewithoutthinking."

"Wouldyoulikeustoleave?"Shelbyoffered,andNikolailookedatherforamoment, working to stem his emotions. Shelby only looked back at him, hereyesfullofunderstanding.

You'rejustassweetaseveryonesaysyouare.Tellme,Shelby,doyoueverputyourselffirst?

"No,"Nikolaisaidatlast,givingasmallshakeofhishead."Ithinkitwilldomegoodtostay,butthankyouforoffering."

Nikolaifellquiet then,andShelbylethim.Theybothstillhadtheireyesonthe lakewhenColleen, the cook and housekeeper for the lake house, came toofferthemcoffee.Thistheyenjoyedinsilenceaswell.

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Shelby'sthoughtsbegantodrift,andforatimeshemighthavebeenaloneonthedeck.Whenshedidthinktolookoveratherhusband,shefoundhimashehadfoundher:soundasleep.

"Okay,"Shelbysaid,hereyesandvoiceintent."Putastickinthislittletowerandonehereinthislargerone.Now,whatdoyouthink?"

"This is the bestsandcastle in thewholeworld," the little boy on the beachinformedher.

"Ithinkyoumayberight,Monty.Whatelsedoweneed?"

"Somewater,"Montyexclaimed,grabbingthebucketandheadingtowardthesmallwaves that lappedat theshore.Shelbywatchedhimwithasmileonherface.Hehad toldherhewas five,andShelbywouldhavebeenconcernedbuttooknoteofthefactthathisbaby-sitterneverlethimoutofhersight.ShehadsmiledatShelbybutkeptherdistanceasthelittleboyaskedtheredheadonthebeachifshewantedtoplay.Whatshewantedtodowasfallasleepinthesun,butshetookonelookathishugegrayeyesandsaidyes.

"I'vegotthewater.Nowwecanbuildmore."

"Allright.Whereshallweadd?"

TheremodelingwasjustgettingstartedwhenMontyspottedhissister.

"Oh look!Jenny'scoming,andshe'sbringing theprince.Hi,PrinceNikolai.We'remakingasandcastle.Comeplaywithus."

MontythrewhimselfatNikolaiwhenhewasnear,andtheprinceswunghimupintohisarmsforahug.Clearlythetwowerefamiliar.

"Hello,"Shelby said to the littlegirlwhohadcomewith theprince.Shelbyguessedhertobethreeorfouryearsolderthanherbrother.

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"Hello,"shesaid,smilingwhenShelbymethereyes."Areyoutheprincess?"

"Yes.I'mShelby.DidhearMontycallyouJenny?"

Thelittlegirlnoddedasshedroppedtoherknees in thesand."It'sshortforJennifer."

"Ilikethatname."

"I likeyour hat," Jenny said, taking inShelby's hugestraw-hat. "I haveone,butIdidn'twearit."

"IhavetoorI'llburn."

"MyAuntLucyhasredhair,andsheburnswhenevershecomestovisit."

Nikolaihaddroppedontothebeachaswell,hislonglegscurledtohissideashe rested a palm in the sand.He hadwoken from his nap and found himselfalone.Hisstomachhadrumbledsohewentinsearchoffood,whichheateonthe deck.Thatwaswhen he'd spotted the hat on the beach.He had still beenwatchingwhenMontyStevenson joinedher.Evenwithas littleasheknew, itwasn'tanysurprisetohimthatsheseemedtowelcomethechild'spresence.

"Areyougoing to livehereall the timenow:"MontyaskedhopefullyashedroppedintoShelby'slap.

"No,justuntilMonday,"shesaidassheputherarmsaroundhim,notseemingtocareabout thesandandmoisturehewasgettingonhercottondress."But IthinkI'llvisitagain."

"Welivehere,"Jennyinformedher."Ourmotherisgoingtohaveababy,sosometimeswehavetogotoGrandma's,butwhenMistybaby-sitsuswecanstayhere."

"Is your mother not feeling well, Jen?" the prince asked. It was the firstcommenthehadmade.

"She'srealtired,andthedoctorsaidshehastorestorthebabymightbehurt."

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Nikolai nodded but knew that the situation was probably much more

complicated.HehadknowntheStevensonsformanyyearsandmadeamentalnotetocheckonthem.

"Weneedakingandqueen,"Montydeclaredsuddenly."Wehave tohaveakingforourcastle."

"Gogetyourmen,Monty!"hissistertoldhim."Youknowtheones."

"Okay.Icanbringthecarstoo.We'llmakearoad."

Montywasoffbeforeanyoneelsecouldspeak,andMistytoldJennytostayput until they returned. Shelby and Jenny began to work the sand and talk.Nikolaihelpedaswell,butwhathedid themostwaswatchShelby.Sheknewshe didn't look her best, but she didn't think he would be rude enough toscrutinizeher for that.Notuntil Jennyscrambledoff toget somewaterdidhespeak.

"Areyourarmsgoingtoburn,Shelby?"heasked,notingthat therestofherwasshadedwiththehatorcoveredwithherdress.

"I put sun block on," Shelby said, looking down at her arms for signs ofpinknessandnotfindingany.

"Whatprotectionfactor?"

"Ithinkit's50,"shesaidasshedugintoherbag."Hereitis.MaybeIshouldputsomemoreon."

"That'sprobablyagoodidea."

Forsomereason theconversationandhisconcerndwelt inhermindfor therestoftheday.Theyendedupeatinglunchonthebeachwiththechildrenandthen disappearing inside to lie around with books. Dinner was informal butplentiful,andShelbyturnedinearly.

I can tell he's trying, Lord. He looks after my well-being, and I think thatmeans he's trying to take this seriously. If I could just assure him that I don'thavehugeexpectationsofhim-ifIcouldjustfindawaytoshowhimthathecanbehimselfwhenhe'swithme...

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ThethoughtnomorematerializedthanShelbyrealizedwhatshehadprayed.Was it fair toaskGod tohelpNikolaiacthimselfaroundherwhenshewasn'tsureshewasdoingthatwithhim?

Row does a person stop blushing and get comfortable?was Shelby's lastquestionbeforesheslept.Shehopedbymorningshewouldsomehowhaveananswer.

1

Nikolaididn'tbotherwithhisjacketforbreakfast,buthedidcomedownstairsearlyonSundaymorningcompletelyreadytoattendchurch.Thestairwaywaswideopentothelivingroombelow,sotheprincewasonlyhalfwaydownwhenhespottedhiswife.Shewasunderablanket,sleepingonthesofa.Togiveherprivacyyet still be available,Krishadpositionedhimself by thekitchendoor.Nikolaiwenttohim.

"Isshenotfeelingwell?"

"Ithinkitwasthestorm.Iheardanoiseabout1:30andcameintofindhersitting on the sofa. She said something about the window breaking and notwantingtogobackupstairs.Shesatupforagoodtwohoursbeforelyingdownandfallingasleep."

Nikolai looked over at hiswife.He approached quietly but reached for hershoulderassoonashewasnear.

"Shelby,"hewhispered."Areyouallright?"

"Yeah,"shesaidwithadrythroatasshetriedtoopenhereyes."Issomethingwrong?"

"No.Youfellasleeponthesofa.Doyouwanttogouptoyourbed?"

Shelbyblinkedathimandtriedtofocus."Doyouhaveameeting?"

"No,I'mjustreadyforchurchearly."

"Oh,that'sright,it'sSunday.MayIgetreadyandgowithyou?"

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"Certainly.Arcyouuptoit?"

"Ithinkso."

Sheblinkedandsatup,tuggingherrobealittlecloseraroundher,Kriswasnolonger in the room, but she remembered speaking with him and had theimpressionthathehadjustbeenthere.Shelbymadeamovetorise,andNikolaimovedfromherway.Shefeltawfulbut thought thatahotshowermightclearthewebs.

"Take your time, Shelby," she heardNikolai say as shemounted the stairs."Wedon'tneedto leaveforalmost twohours."Shelbythoughtshemighthavewavedbutwasn'tcertain.Allshewantedtodowasgethereyesopenandstayonherfeet.Sheworkedonthisforthenext90minutesandfinallysatdownatthekitchentableacrossfromherhusband,whowasstillreadingthepaper.Hesetitdownandstaredather.Sheworeamintgreenjacketandskirt;herblousewaswhite.

ShelbystartedonthecoffeeColleenhadsetinfrontofherbutwascertainsheknewwhatherhusbandwasthinking.Finallyshesaid,"Iknow,Iknow.Ishouldgoshoppingthisafternoonandfillthesebagsundermyeyes."

Nikolailaughed."ActuallyIwasthinkingthatyoudon'tlookasthoughyou'velostanysleepatall."

"Thankyou,"Shelbysaidsuccinctly,notsureshebelievedhim.

"DidIscareyouaboutstormsuphere?"

Shetookathoughtfulsipofcoffeeandsaid,"I'mnotsure.IdoknowthatI'mnotatallcrazyaboutstorms,andwhenIwokeandheardtherainandwind,Ifeltratherpanicked.SomehowIthoughtitwouldbeeasiertobeinthelivingroom."

AgainNikolaiwatchedher.

"You'redoingthatalotlately,"shegainedthecouragetosay.

"What'sthat?"

"Staringatme."

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"I'msorry,Shelby,butIguessI'malittleamazed.You'vebeenplacedinsuchanunusualsituation,butmostofthetimeyouseemsoatease."

Shelbygawkedathimforaninstantbeforebendingherredfacebackoverhercup.

Nikolaifelthelearnedalotinthosefewseconds.Shewasn'tthetypetorattleonorflapaboutwhennervous.Hermovementsweretotallycomposed,butshetendedtoblush.Didthatmeanshewasn'tascalmassheappeared?

"IguessIjustmeantthatyou'reverypoised,"Nikolaisaid,feelingheneededtoexplain."Ishouldn'thaveexpectedless,butsomehowIdid."

Shelby nowunderstood. "I think any composure youmight see comeswithinterpretingformyfatheronvariousoccasionsandbeingaskedtostandinfrontoflargegroupsofstrangers."

"Washedeaffrombirth?Ican'trememberifyou'veeversaid."

"No.Asachildheranaveryhighfever,whichresultedinhishearingloss."

"Canhehearanything?"

"No."

"Howwasthatforyouandyourbrother?"

"We'venevergivenanythoughttoit.Asyoumightexpect,welearnedtosignatanearlyage,andthat'sbeenthenormforaslongasIcanremember."

"Canyouteachmesomesignlanguage?"

"Sure."

"Allright.TeachmehowtosaysomethingtoyourfatherthenexttimeIseehim."

"Okay.Thisishowareyou?Doyouwanttotrythat?"

Nikolaididn'tevenhesitate.Shelbyfoundhewasaquickstudy,somuchso,in fact, that if Ivan hadn't told them the day limowas ready, theymight havebeenlateforchurch.Onceinthecartheyfellsilent,eachthinkingaboutthetimeduringbreakfast,

111

a time when the)' had both forgotten their reserve and been themselves. Itwould have been easy to speculate over the camaraderie they shared duringbreakfast,butneitherwasreadyforsuchintrospection.

Thankfully, both were able to put the morning behind them in time toconcentrateon theservice.ThepastorofLakeAlstonCommunityChapelwaspreachingfromthebookofIJohn.Shelby'sBiblestudyhadstudyingthatbook,soshelistenedcarefully,thankfulforthedetailedoutlineheprovided.Shefounditveryhelpful,andhecoveredtwopointsthatshew;asexcitedtosharewithherclass.Shewasstillwritingwhentheserviceended.

"Youlookasthoughyou'reafraidyou'regoingtoforgetsomething,"Nikolaimentionedquietlyashewatchedher.

"Iam,"Shelbyansweredasshefinishedwriting."We'restudyingtheselettersinmyBible class, and Iwant to tell thewomena few thingsPastorBinghamsaid."

"He would welcome any questions you have if something wasn't clear,"Nikolai toldher."I'vegonetohimseveral timesover theyears,andhealwaystakestimeforme."

"I'll remember that. I thinkit'ssospecial tocometo the lakehouseandstillhaveachanceforfellowship.Isthereaservicetonight?"

"Yes.Sixo'clock.Iusuallyattend,"

"May I come with you?" Shelby asked softly, not wanting to push in orpresume.

"Certainly,"Nikolaisaid, thinkinghewouldn'thave turnedherdownfor theworld.

Shelbysmiledupathim.Wanting tosay thankyoubut thinking itmightbeinsulting,sheremainedquiet.

"Readytoheadbacktothehouse?"

"Yes,IthinkI'mreadyforlunch."

"Youdidn'teatbreakfast,didyou?"

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Shelbyshookherheadnobutdidn'tspeak.Theywereactingsonormal thatforamomentshewasn'tsurehowtothink.That theymighteventuallyfallforeachotherhadnever actuallyoccurred toher.The thought stayedwithher allthroughlunch.Shewasstillthinkingaboutitwhenshestretchedoutonadecklounger,abookinhand,andfellasleepbeforeshecouldreadtwopages.

I

"Howaboutwegooutforlunchonthewayhome?"NikolaiaskedShelbythenext morning. "There's a great restaurant in Upper Nave about an hour fromhere.We'llmakeityourbirthdaylunch."

"Iwouldlikethat,"Shelbytoldhimwithpleasure."Isitdressy?"

"Notatall.I'llbeinjeans."

Shelbyfollowedsuit,andjustanhouraftertheyleftforFaraday,theypulledintotheparkinglotofTheBayside.Thestaffhadcalledaheadforareservation,andfiveminuteslatertheprinceandprincesswereshowntoatableontheopendeck,aviewofPrincetonBayand theCapetownMountainsspreadoutbeforethem.

"Oh,Nikolai,"Shelbybreathed,"thisislovely."

"Notquiteapicnicbutstilloutdoors.Wecanshiftarounduntilyou'reinthesunorstayundertheumbrella."

"I'mfinewhereIam.Thankyou."

Nikolaiwatchedher,waitingtoseeifsheopenedhermenu,butsheseemedinnohurry.Hereyestookinthemountainsandthenthewaterforlongmomentsbeforeshenoticedhim.

"I'msorry,"shesaidasshehurriedtoopenthemenu."I'mdaydreaming,andyoumustbehungry."

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"Tell me something, Shelby. Do you ever take care of yourself, or do youspendallofyourtimelookingaftertheneedsofothers?"

"Youmakemesoundlikeaselflessindividual,Nikolai,andI'mnot,"shesaidfrankly."HadIlookedoverandfoundyoustudyingthewater,1wouldn'thavementioned themenu,but1assumedbecauseyouwere lookingatme thatyouwerewaitingtoorder."Shelbytippedherheadtoonesideandcontinuedsoftly,"I don't knowwhat your expressionsmean, and I don'twant to be a bother. IknowI'msoundingselfless,butintruth,I'mstilljustalittleafraidofmakingyouangry.Soyousee,I'mreallydoingitformyself."

"Thankyou for tellingme,"Nikolai said sincerely. "Asa rule, Idon't angereasily.You'llhavetolearnthatsinceI'veshownyoudifferently,butifyou'lljustkeepbeingashonestwithmeasyouwerejustnow,itwillgoalongwaytowardourfuture."

"Areyoureadytoorder,sir?"awaiter,whohadjustappeared,asked.

"Ithinkwe'llstartwithsomethingtodrink,"Nikolaisaidsmoothly,"butwe'llneedalittlemoretimewithourmenus."

Shelbyorderedatallglassoficedtea,andNikolaiaskedforlemonade.Theystudiedthemenusinsilence-theselectionwasvast-andeventuallyfoundmealsthatsoundedgood.

"Doyouknowwhatsurprisesme?"Shelbysuddenlyasked.

"What'sthat?"

"Howeasyitistoliveatthepalace.Idreadedit,"sheadmitted."IfeltIwouldhavenoprivacyanddoeverythingwrong,butnoonemakesmefeelthatway.IcancomeandgointhekitchenanytimeItike.Onethinksofthatkindofthingasbeingtaboo,butitisn't."

"It probably is in some royal households, but not inPendaran.You're right,Pendaranisdifferentthatway.Iforoneamquitegladaboutthat."

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"Icouldn'tagreewithyoumore."

"Doyoumisshome?"

"Yes, especially not having contactwithmyparents on a daily basis.Otherthanmytwoyearsatschool,I'vealwayslivedathome.Imissthem."

"Doyougohomemuch?"

"Aboutonceeverytwoweeks,andI talkwithmyparentsonthephone,butit'snotthesame."

"IfeltthesamewaywhenImovedintothenorthquadrant.IwassolonelyatfirstthatIhaddinnerwithmyparentsatleastthreetimesaweek."

Shelbysmiled.Itwassohardtoimaginehimlonelyorataloss.

"Whatdoesthatsmilemean?"heasked,stillwatchingherclosely.

Shelbytoldhimandwatchedhimshakehishead.

"You're as bad as 1 am, Shelby. I assume you've accepted all of this withcompleteaplomb,andyouthinkI'mrocksteady."

Shelbylaughedalittleattheaccuracyofhisdescription,butneitheradmittedtotheotherthathewasthinkingaboutthefuture,andthatifeventsfollowedalogicalcourse,theywouldbothknoweachotherwellenoughnottobeindoubtabout such things. The prince simply couldn't handle opening himself up thatmuchatthemoment,andShelby,becauseshe'dneversharedsuchclosenesswithaman, could not imagine it. They both felt relievedwhen thewaiter came torefilltheirdrinksandtaketheirorders.

115

ThePrincess

Nine

"Goodmorning,PrincessShelby,it'sMurdock."

"Goodmorning,Murdock."

"Ihatetoimposeonyou,butcouldyoumanageahaircut?We'vecomeintoa

small emergency because I made amistake on the schedule, and 1 would bemostgratefulforyourhelp."

"Icancomerightnow.Willthatwork?"

Shelbyheardhimsigh."Indeed,PrincessShelby,rightnowwouldbeperfect."

"I'llcomedowntothekitchen,shallI?"

"Actually, it would be easier if you cut the prince's hair in his bathroom.Wouldyoumind?"

"No," Shelby answered automatically, but all expression went out of hervoice.

"Verygood.I'llcallupandtellhimtoexpectyouinsay,fiveminutes?"

"Yes,"sheagainansweredinaresignedmonotone."Fiveminutes."

Shelbyhungupthephoneandsatverystill.Theyhadcertainlygainedgroundovertheweekend,butcuttingtheprince'shairwasnotpartofthebargain.Shewasstilltoouncomfortablearoundhimforthat.

"WhatifIcuthisearoff?"

Thesoundofherownvoicehelpedtoshakeoffthetrance.Aftertakingadeepbreath,shestood,madeherselfgetherscissorsandcomb,andresolutelywalkedoutthebedroomdoor.She

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knockedbriskly,tellingherselftobuckupandtoignorehershakingknees.Itworked until the prince opened his door wearing only a pair of black denimshorts.

"Thankyouforcoming,Shelby,"theprincesaidasagreeting."Iappreciateit."HestoodbacksoShelbycouldenter,somethingshedidonwoodenlegs.

"Iwashedmyhair.Isitgoingtoworktohaveitwet?"

"That'sfine,"ShelbysaidsoquietlythatNikolailookeddownather.Herfacewas a bright red, and he watched as her eyes skittered to his chest and back

acrosstheroom.Therewasnomissingherdiscomfort,butheoptedtoignoreherbrightfeatures.

"I've got a chair in here," the prince began as he led theway. "If it doesn'tmakemehighenough,Icancallforastool."

"I'msureitwillbefine,"Shelbysaidwithoutthought.Hadshebeenthinking,shewouldhaveknown itwasperfect.Theprincewasmany inches taller thanshewas,making thingsmuchmore even if hewas sittingdown-somethinghedidthemomentheenteredthebathroom.

Shelby looked at him, swallowedpast a dry throat, and spoke. "Maybeyoucouldtellmewhatyoulike."

"Youcantrimalloveror justget thehairoffmyears.I likeit longerintheback."

Shelby nodded. She had certainly noticed this and also how attractive theprince's hairwas, but she never planned to touch it. Telling her hands to stopshaking,shestartedinthefrontandworkedherwaytothesides.Hishairwasadreamtocut.Longbeforeshereachedtheback,shewasintoherjob.Hereyesonherwork,sheforgothewastheprinceandsimplyenjoyedworkingwithhishair,whichwasthickandblackwithjusttherightamountofwave.Shelbylovedthewayitcurledsoftlyonhisneckline.

Nikolai was in another place entirely. He hadn't counted on the effect ofhavingShelby'shands inhishair.Theyhadn'tasyethadanyphysicalcontact,andnowhersofthandsweretouching

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his head and neck with the utmost care. Nikolai found himself wanting totouchherinreturn.

And all the time hewatched her. If shewas in front of him, his eyeswereglued toher face. If shewasonhis sideor in theback,hewatchedher in themirror.Herbrowloweredinconcentrationafewtimes,andshehadatendencytopurseherlips,allofwhichhefoundverydistracting.Atonepointsheglancedintothemirrortofindhiseyesonherandlosthercomposure,nearlydroppingthecomb.Afteramomentshepulledhereyesawayandcontinued.Sheended

upcuttinghiswholeheadandthenlookingathimwithanxiety.

"Thank you, Shelby. It looks great," Nikolai said, coming to his feet andbarelyglancingin themirror.Therewasnopoint in looking;hewouldn'thaveshownhisdisappointmentevenifhehadhatedthecut.

"Areyoucertain?MaybeIcandosomethingmoreifyoudon'tlikeit."

Nikolaiforcedhimselftolookintothemirror.Hisbrowsrose.Itlookedgood,verygood.

"It'sperfect,"hewasable to tellherhonestly, lookingdown to findherstillwatchinghim.Beforehecouldchangehismind,hebentandkissedhercheek.

Shelookedsurprisedbutnotflustered.Hereyesstayedonhimforamomentbeforetheydropped.

"Whydon'tIgetabroomandsweepsomeofthishairup?"

"Because I need to get into the shower and be on my way to a Councilmeeting."

"Icancomebackwhenyou'regone."

"It'sallright,Shelby.Thisisn'taseasyaplacetocuthairasthekitchenporch,butArlandawillseethatsomeonecleansitup."

Shelby nodded, knowing this was to be expected. She moved out thebathroomdoorandbackthewayshehadcome.

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"Areyoureturningtoyourroom?"Nikolaiaskedashefollowedher.

Shelbyturnedandnodded.

"Go thisway,"Nikolai said,moving to thedoor that joined their rooms.Heturnedtheknobandhelditopenwide."Thiswillsaveyouafewsteps."

"Thankyou."

"Thankyou.Imaynevergobacktomybarber."

Shelbysmiledathimasheshutthedoorwithawave.ForamomentShelbystoodandsimplystaredattheclosedportal.

Somethingishappeninghere,Lord.Idon'tknowexactlywhat,butthingsfeeldifferentIdon'tfeelreadyforintimacywiththisman,butlatelyhewatchesmesomuch.Pleasedon'tlethimasktoosoon.Pleasedon'tletitbeallphysicalsothat I feel used. I don't expectamiracle, but if he's still somuch in lovewithYvette, don't let him say or doanything thatwill hurtme.Shelby stopped.Herprayer suddenly seemed very selfish.What about Nikolai's needs, Shelby? Areyou thinking of those? The Bible commands husbands and wives to cometogethersoasnottofallintotemptation.Ifyourhusbandneedsyouphysical!',youneedtobepreparedforthat.

Shelbyknew thatwasgoing tobe easier said thandone.Theyhad spent solittle timetogether.Theyhadbegunto talkmore,but insomanywayshewasstillastranger.

I'mstartingtoworry,Father,andIcan'tdothat.Pleasedon'tbringittopassbeforeI'mready,andhelpmetobereadywheneverYoubringittopass.ItwasaprayerthatShelbyprayedoffandontheentireday.

"Oh,Shelby,"thequeenexclaimed,"youlooklovely.Thisblueiswonderfulonyou."

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"Thankyou,"Shelbyreplied,acceptingthecomplimentandthehug.Thekingwasnext,puttinghisarmsaroundherandhuggingherclosebeforehebent tokisshercheek.

"Youlooknicetoo,Nicky,"Ericateasedherson,whowasstandingbackandwaitingforhisparentstogreethiswife.

"Thankyou,Mother,"hereplieddrylyashehuggedherclose.

"I hope you're hungry, because dinner is ready and Maisie outdid herself.We'rehavinggrilledsoleandorangepepperrice,andbecausesheknewShelbywascoming,dessertispeachcobblerandcream."

"I'm starved," the king proclaimed before Shelby could even express her

thanks.

The four adults tookchairs at thedining table, and just as soonas thekingreturned thanks, the food began to appear.It started with a wonderful lettucesalad, filled with all types of garden greens and topped with a light oildressing.Smallcupsofonionsoupwerenext.Togowithboththesoupandthesalad,melt-in-your-mouthrollsarrivednonstop.

Shelbydug in.Sheknew fullwell that the staff in thenorthquadrant couldproducesuchdelights,butsooftensheandtheprinceweregone.Shelbyrarelyorderedanythingwithmorethantwocoursesbecauseitseemedawasteforoneperson.Shehadtoadmit,however,thatthiswasdelicious.

"Howiseverything?"thekingasked."IknowMaisiewillwanttoknowifyouwerepleased."

"It'sexcellent,isn'tit,Shelby?"herhusbandasked.

"Yes," Shelby agreed fervently. "Iwas just thinking that Fran is capable ofproducing the same delights and that Nikolai and I ought to stay homemoreoften."

"Areyououtmostevenings,Shelby?"thequeenasked.

"Yes.Notsomuchonweekends,butduringtheweekit'saboutfournightsoutoffive.PeopleasksofarinadvancethatIlookatmyclearcalendarandthinkI'mcompletelyfree.Thenthe

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time rolls around, and I have nonstop appointments. I'm in the process ofslowingdownalittle."

"Youdon'twanttogettired"thekingsaidwithkindconcern.

"No,"Shelbyagreed,glancingatherhusbandtoseethathewassmiling.

"Ithinkwemissedsomething,"Ericaobserved.

"Shelby wishes she'd missed it too," Nikolai said rather dryly, and Shelbyfoundshewasabletolaughoverthis.

Dessert was served in the yellow parlor with coffee and wonderful, warmconversation.Shelbystillfeltshyaroundherhusband,butthebanteramongthefourofthemwasfast-pacedenoughtohelpherovertheawkwardmoments.Theeveningwasstillinfullswingwhenthekingmentionedthefair.

"Threeweeks from tomorrow,"he toldShelby. "It'san annual event that runsfromSaturdaymorningtoMondaynoon."

"I'vereadabouttheKing'sFair,butI'mnotsureoftheschedule."

"WestartwithgamesforthechildrenonSaturdaymorningfollowedbyabiglunch. After lunch we have a skeet-shooting contest. There will be a concertafterdinneronSaturdaynight,andwealwaystakeoffonSundaymorningsowecangettochurch.Sundayafternoonisthetug-of-warbeforeanearlydinnerinthe evening.Mondaymorningwepresent the awards to all thewinnersof thegamesandgohomeafterabigbrunch."

"Itsoundsdelightful,"Shelbysaidhonestly."Mybrotherhasbeenontwotug-of-warteams.I'llhavetotellhimsohecancomewatch."

"Watch?" Nikolai sounded outraged. "If he can pull, we need him. Tobyalwaysbringsmenwhotrytotearourarmsoutoftheirsockets."

"Wouldyoureallywanthimtoparticipate?"Shelbyaskedinsurprise.

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"Of course.He's familynow, andweneedhim.Father and I bothpulled inschool,butmyunclesdon'thaveagoodgraspofthetechnique."

"Andtwoofthemarequitesmall,"Ericaadded.

"Sooneteamisfamily?"Shelbyconfirmed.

"Yes. Toby sets up a team that he pulls on, and so do Council membersRoydenandLindell,"thekingwenton."It'sthebesttwooutofthreepulls.

"I'dbettergetBrice'snumberfromyou,Shelby."Nikolaiwastakingapieceofpaperfromhispocket."Ordoyouwanttocallandaskhim?"

"You can ask him," she said, thinking it would be a nice surprise for herbrother, who had had very little opportunity to speakwith the prince. Shelby

gave him the number and then listened astheconversation went back to thesubjectof thefair.Afteramoment it stoppedmakingsense.Thekinghad justsaidhewouldbemakingbreakfast.

"Youdothecooking?"Shelbyasked.

"AtthePalaceFair,yes."

"Oh,thePalaceFair.Isthatsoontoo?"

"AweekaftertheKing'sFair.Weusedtoschedulethemfartherapart,butthewhole point is to give the staff a break.What could be better than that afterthey'veworkedsohardattheKing'sFair?"

"TheKing'sFair is always the lastweekend inSeptember, Shelby.And thePalaceFairisthefirstSaturdayinOctober."

"ThePalaceFairisjustoneday?"

"Theactualfair,yes,butthestaffhasoffuntilTuesdayatnoon."

"WhatcanIdo?"Shelbyasked.

"Anyofadozenjobs.We'llbeworkedhard,butit'sfun,andthestaffandtheirfamiliesadoreit,"saidthequeen.

"Don'tforgetthechildren,"Raferemindedher.

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:

"Oh,yes.Anton'smotherdoesamagician'sact. It'sascream.Hersleightofhandisn'taspolishedas itusedtobe,sosheendsupturningit intoacomedyroutine."

Shelby'smouthwasstillopen."Thequeenmother?"

Theylaughedatherexpression.

"Yes, as a matter-of-fact, she's so popular that she performs at both fairs,"Rafeadded.

"There'smore,"Nikolaicontinued."Mygrandfatherjugglessoccerballs."

Shelby's eyes had grown to immense proportions. The three other familymembersalllaughedhystericallyather.

"Iwon'tneedtodoanythinglikethat,willI?"

"Well,"Nikolaisurprisedherbyspeakingup,"Ithinkwecouldsetupahair-cuttingbooth.Thatwouldbefunforachange.Youcouldjustuseyourscissorsalldayandthrowinashaveortwoaswell."

Shelby,notseeingthegleaminhiseyes,fellforithook,line,andsinker.Sheswallowedconvulsivelyandnoddedinthesweetwaythey'dcometoexpect.

"Allright.Icouldtrythatifyouthinkitwillhelp."

"Oh,Nicky," the queen saidwith a soft voice, one thatwas lost onShelby.Shelby's eyeswere on the coffee table, and she appeared to be lost in intensethought. She actually jumped a littlewhenNikolai reached over and took herhand.Shelby'seyescametohim.

"I'm teasing you," he said softly, his eyes contrite. "You don't have to doanythingyoudon'twanttodo."

Shelbynodded,herfacegoingredevenassherealizedhowsoftandwarmhishandfeltonhers.Sheforcedherselfnottolookdownonthesofabetweenthem,buthishandfeltverynice.Heheldhersuntilhismotherofferedhimawarm-upofhiscoffee.

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Withtheteasingincidentbehindthem,theconversationmovedon,butShelbyfeltthepressureofNikolai'shandonherownforsomehourstofollow.

"WecertainlyenjoyedhavingyouandShelbydinewithusonFridaynight,"RafetoldNikolaionMondaymorning.Councilhadnotbeencalledintosessionyet,andthetwomenhadjusthadbreakfastwithKingRegentAnton.

"Weenjoyedittoo."

"ShelbywasasrelaxedasI'veeverseenher."

"Yes,shewas.ItwasbetterbeforeIteasedheraboutcuttinghair."

"Ithinkshetookitallright,"thekingsaid."Shestillblusheseasily,that'sforcertain."

RafewatchedNikolai'sfaceforamoment.Hehadnoddedinagreementbutthenlookedratherpensivelyacrosstheroom.

"Howareyoudoing,Nick?"

Nikolai sighed and answeredwithout looking at his father. "Howcan I stillmissYvetteandyetbedrawntoShelby?"

"BecauseShelbyishereandneedsyou.Yvettedoesn't."

Nikolai turnedandstaredathisfather.Itwassaidsosimply,but itwasalsoglaringlyontarget.Yvettedidn'tneedhimanymore;itwastimetofacethatfact.Shelby,ontheotherhand,neededhimverymuch,andNikolaiwasnevermoreawareofthatthanatthismoment.

"Does that help issues,Nick, or justmake themmorepainful for you?" thekingasked.

"I think ithelps. I'mfeeling things Ididn'tknowwerepossible. Idon't loveShelby,butIdocare.IcareifIthinkshe'sgoingtogetasunburnorifsheisn'tgettingenoughrestortimewithherfamily."

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"That's where love begins, Nick. I felt as though I loved your mother themomentIseteyesonher,wheninrealityIwasprobablyjustinfatuated.WhenIlearned she had the flu and I couldn't get her frommymind, I knew that theinitialfeelings,whatevertheywere,weregoingdeeper."

"IcareifIthinkshe'safraid,especiallyofme,"Nikolaicontinued,almostasifRafehadn'tspoken."Iwantthestafftogiveherextracarebutalsoforhertofeelfreetocomeandgoasshepleases.Ifindmyselflyinginbedatnightsometimeswondering if she'sall right.She'sonmymindsomuch lately,andwhen I seeher,Ijustwanttostare."

"MayIgiveyouawordofadvice,son?"

"Yes.Anything."

"Don't fight it, Nick. If you're falling for your wife, allow yourself theprivilege and enjoy it. Romance and court your wife until she feels all thetenderness,support,andsecurityyourlovewillbringtoher."

Nikolai looked at his father again, seeing himwith new eyes.He knew hisfatherwaspassionatelyinlovewithhismother,buthetendedtobeanuts-and-boltstypeofman.Therewasnodenyingthefact,however,thatNikolaihadjustheardhimsay"romanceandcourtyourwife."

"Thankyou,Father."Nikolaismiledathim,hisheartfeelingabit lighter."Idon'tknowhowI'mgoingtogoaboutthis,butIwon'tknowunlessItry."

Rafe'sbrowsrose."ConsideringhowdistractedShelbywasafteryouheldherhandonFridaynight,Ithinkyou'llbeabletocomeupwithsomething."

A soft chime sounded down the hallway. The time had slipped away fromthem;Councilwas starting.Without anotherword, bothmen exited the king'sCouncil Building office and moved to the Council chamber. At least for themoment,NikolaiandShelby'srelationshiphadtobeplacedonhold.

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The evening was progressing as it usually did. Shelby was at an eveningfunction,dressedinoneofhermanystunninggownsandsurroundedbypeoplewhowantedtospeaktoher.Someofthemsheknewandothersshehadonlyjustmet.Therewasonemajordifferencethisevening:Nikolaiwaswithher.

Dinnerwasover,andthedancewouldbestartingsoon.Shelbyhopedwithallofherheartthatherhusbandwouldremembertocomeandclaimherforatleastonedance.Sofarnoonehadaskedherfor thefirstdance,somethingthathadneverhappenedbefore.Shethoughttheremightberulesaboutthis.Maybetheonlyreasonshe'dbeenaskedbeforewasbecausetheguestsknewshewasonherown.

Thefirststrandsofawaltzstartedup just then,andeveryone turned towardthefloor.Theirhostandhostess,MajorandMrs.Walker,walkedtothemiddleoftheballroomflooranddancedforseveralminutesbeforetheorchestraleadergaveasignalforeveryonetojoinin.Shelbywasnotleftstandingalone,butthe

womeninhergroupweresilentas thefloorfilledup.Shelbykepthereyesonthedancers.Shedidn'tthinkanyonewouldcastapityinglookinherdirection,butiftheydared,shemightbetemptedtosaysomethingunkind.

If Nikolai doesn't come to dancewithme, he has a good reason. After all,there'smoretolifethanballsandparties.Peoplearemuckmoreimportant,andifsomeonehereshouldfailtorecognizethis,wellit'snotmy-

"I'm sorry I'm late." Nikolai was suddenly beside her, taking her hand andleadingherontothefloor."Iwastiedupinaconversation,andthemusicstartedbeforeIrealized."

Shelbydidn'tspeak.Allshecoulddowaslookupathim.

"Areyouallright?"

"Yes,"shesaidsoftly,notsureitwastrue.Itwasthesilliestthinginhermind,butshesuddenlyfelthe'drescuedherby

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coming todancewithher.The last time theyhaddone this hadbeen at theKing'sBall,andshe'dbeenterrifiedofhim.Foramomentshetriedtospeculateonthechange.

Knowing this was not the place to press her, Nikolai wondered if she wasreallyallright.Hesimplypulledherabitcloserastheydanced.Hehadneverknownanyonewhoseeyesseemedlikemirrorstothesoul.AttimeshethoughtShelbylookedlikeachild,lostandalone.Atothertimeshesawhercapableandstrong, not seeming to need anything or anyone.But thewomanhe sawmostoften was just Shelby-sweet, unassuming, intelligent, talented, and caringShelby.Hiswife.

Themusic ended just then.Nikolai clappedwitheveryoneelse,buthe tookShelby'shandforthenextdanceassoonashishandswerefree.Againheheldhercloserthanwasneededforthedance,andwiththewayshelookedupathim,hewascertainshenoticed.

"Areyouhavingagoodtime?"heasked.

"Yes.Howaboutyou?"

"Iam,thankyou."

"Iforgottoask,Nikolai,buthowdoyouknowthemajor?"

"His brother was in school with my father, and I went to school with hisnephew.Asamatteroffact,themajor'sbrotherwasjusttellingmeaboutMark-that'shisson-andhowhe'slivingintheUnitedStatesthesedays."

"WhereintheU.S.?"

"California."

"I'vebeentoNewYork."

"Haveyoureally?"

"Yes.Onaschooltrip."

"Whatwasitlike?"

"Interestingbuthot.Itwassummertime,andIthoughtwewouldallmelt.Thesightswerespectacular,butthetrafficand

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crowdswerealittlehardtotake.It'sdifficultformetobelievethatnotallofAmericaislikethat."

"Pendaranspoilsus-it'ssosmallandconsistent."

"Itdidn'tfeelsmalltomeuntilIvisitedNewYorkandrealizedthatourwholecountry issmaller than thatonestate.To thinkof the restof theUnitedStatesstretchingoutforthousandsofmileswasabitoverwhelming."

"Youweregladtogethome?"

"Tremendously. The flight was long and tiring. I guess I'm not much of atraveler.BythetimeIsit inthecarforthetwohourstothelakehouse,Ihaveantsinmypants."

Nikolaismiled.

"WhatdidIsay?"

"I just haven't heard the phrase in years," Nikolai admitted, "but mygrandmotherusedtosayittomeallthetime."

"Wereyouarambunctiouschild?"

"Icouldbe,butIalsolikedtoread.Icoulddisappearintoabookforhours.1stillcan."

"IfIrecallfromyourletters,youliketheclassics."

"Youhaveagoodmemory.DidIeveraskyouwhatyouliketoread?"

"Idon'tthinkso.Ilikehistorybutalsoanoccasionalromance."

"Idon'tmindaromancemyself.I'vereadallofJaneAusten."

"Whatwasyourfavorite?"

"Persuasion?

ThedanceendedthemomentafterShelbysaid,"Minetoo."

Nikolailethergo,becausehisfathercametorequestherhand,buthetoldherhewouldbebackandtoreservethelastdance.Shelbynoddedwithoutspeaking,seemingly as composed as any woman could be. If she were questioned,however, onhalf ofwhat her father-in-lawwas saying toher, shewouldhavefailedmiserably.

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ThePrincess

Ten

Shelbysankintotherearseatofthelimoandstifledthesighthatthreatenedtoescapeher.Hadshebeenalone,shewouldhavefeltfreetoexpressherself,butNikolai's presence-he had climbed in on the other side-held her in check.Nevertheless, that didn't stop the ache in her feet or the hollowness of herstomach.Shecertainlyhopedshecouldraidthekitchenwithoutwakinganyoneassoonasshegothome.

"Didyouhaveagoodtime?"Nikolaiaskedoutofthedarkness.

"Verymuch.Themajor'sdaughterknowsmyfather,andIdidn't realize thatuntilwehadtalkedforsometime."

"She's a fascinating woman. I don't know if there's a country she hasn'tvisited."

"Shetoldmeaboutsomeofthem."

"Howdoessheknowyourfather?"

Shelbychuckled."Hecutsherhairwhenshe'shome."

"You'rekidding."

"No.She'sbeentohairdressersalloverthecityandfinallyfoundmyfatherinHenley.Shemisseshimdreadfullywhenshe'sabroad."

Nikolaiwasstillchucklingwhenhenoticedsomethingodd.Nothavingevercaredtousethephoneinthelimo,hehitthebuttonandloweredthewindow.

"Ivan?"

"Yes,sir?"

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"Canyoutellmewherewe'regoing?"

"BurgerHaven,sir,topickupsomefoodfortheprincess."

"Ohno,Ivan,"Shelbyspokeup,herfaceheatinginstantly."Wecangohome."

"Didtheprincessaskyoutostop?"Nikolaiquestioned.Hewasn'tupset,justremarkablycurious.

"No,sir.Hankinformedme."

Shelbywasrattlingonagain,butbothmenignoredher.

"Do asHank asked," the prince said quietly and put thewindowup, at thesametimeputtinganendtotheconversation.

Shethoughtshewasbeyondthishorribleblushing,butrightnowshecouldn'tspeak or even look inNikolai's direction.Therewas somuch he didn't know.Thereweresomanylittle things thestaffdidforher,andforsomereason,hislearningofthewaytheyspoiledherwasmortifyingtoher.Itdidn'tlessenwhenshefelt thecarcometoahaltandknewthat Ivanwasgettingoutandcomingaround to see her. She still hadn't looked at her husband when the chauffeuropenedherdoor.

"Theusual,PrincessShelby?"

"Yes,please,"shesaidsoftly,hopingjusttogetitoverwith.

"Anythingforyou,PrinceNikolai?"

"Somefriessoundgood,Ivan,andmaybeanorangedrink."

"Verygood.I'llberightback."

"I'msorry,Nikolai,"Shelbysaidsoftly,justassoonasthedoorwasshut.

"Whyareyousorry?"

"Becauseyoumustwanttogethome."

Hewassilentforalmostaminute,hiseyesonherprofile.Shelbycouldfeelhisgazebutdidn'tshiftherown.

"You'retoohardonyourself,Shelby.Ifyouwerehungryandthestaffdidn'tseetoyourneeds,thatwouldbesomethingtobeupsetabout."

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1

Shelby nodded but still kept her eyes averted. Shemight aswell have toldIvannottobother;shedidn'tthinkshecouldeatathing.

Whydoes it feel thisway?Whydo I think the staff spoils onlymeand thatNikolaiwouldbeangry?SurelytheymustspoilhimaswellThey'veknownhimyearslonger.Someofthemprobablywatchedhimgrowup.

"I had a long conversation with your brother today," Nikolai said

conversationally,breakingneatlyintoShelby'storturedthoughts.

"Brice?"

"Yes"Nikolaisaidonachuckle."Howmanybrothersdoyouhave?"

"Five!"shesaiddefiantly,feelingtiredoftryingnevertobeabothertohim.

"Well,let'shopetheyallwanttopull."

"DoesBrice?"

"Yes. He sounded quite pleased to be asked and even wanted to know thepracticedaysandtimes.I'mnotsurewhetherhe'smadeuphismindtolikemeyet,somaybethiswillhelp."

"Whywouldyousaysuchathing?"Shelbyaskedasherheadturnedswiftly."Didhesaysomethingtoyou?"

"No,butIgettheimpressionthatthejury'sstilloutwhereI'mconcerned."

Nikolaihadbeenwatchingherandsawhermouthopeninsurprise.

"Itakeityouhaven'tsaidanything."

"Ofcoursenot!IfBricehasbeenrudetoyou,Nikolai,Imustknowaboutit"

"He hasn't. Not in the least. But I did steal the sister, whom I suspect headores,andI'mnotcertainhethinksmeworthyofher."

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Shelby relaxed a little. She had also gotten that impression fromBrice, butjustonetime.Ithadbeenatherbirthdaycelebration,andithadbeensofleetingthatShelby thoughtshehad imagined it.Shedidn't thinkherbrotherhadbeendiscourteous,butshenowunderstoodwhatNikolaiwasspeakingof.

"I'mgladhewasn't rude toyou. Iwouldbe surprised if hehadbeen, but 1wouldstillexpecthimtoapologize."

"Thereisnoneed."

"Wereyourudetohim?"sheaskedbeforeshethought.

"]hopenot,"Nikolaisaidwithsomesurprise."Whydidyouaskthat?"

Shelbyshrugged,but for justamomenthe'dsoundedso lordlyandsuperiorthatshewonderedifhehadn'tputherbrotheronthedefensive.

"Youdidn'tanswerme,"Nikolaisaidoutofthedarkness.

"Ishrugged,"Shelbytoldhim,buthervoicesaidmore-itsaidthatwasallhewasgoingtogetoutofherrightnow.

Nikolaiwatchedheruntiltheirfoodcame.Hehonestlyhadn'tseentheshrug.Theonlythingthatwasilluminedinthedeeprecessesofthelimowasonesideofherface,afacethatwasturnedinprofiletohim.

Theyendedupnotspeakingwhiletheyate,butShelbywasnolongertense.Shewasalittleangryatherself,butonlybecauseitseemedthatallshedidthesedayswastrytoactasthougheverythingwerefine.

Where is the balance?she prayed as she finished the last of her burger andshake,acombinationshe'dfoundherselfhungryforthemomentIvanhandeditto her. /need to be the woman this man needs, but I'm not myself when I'maroundhim.I'mnotgiventoimpulsivespeechoractions,butI'malmostafraidto speak at all It's not fair ofme to think hemight have been impolite tomybrother.Ihavenosolidreasontoaccusehimofthat.

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"Thank

you,Ivan,"Shelbysaid.Itwasnicetohaveherthoughtsinterruptedbytheirarrivalbackatthenorthquadrant.Ivanhadopenedthedoor,andbecauseitwaslate,sheheadedinsidewiththeintentofretiring.Theplanworkeduntilshewasin the greenparlor on theway to her bedroomdoor. Shewas on the verge ofsayinggoodnightwhenherhusbandspoke.

"MayIaskyouaquestion,Shelby?"

Shelbyturnedtohim,herfeetthrobbing."I'mrathertired,"sheadmitted.

"Idon'tthinkitwilltakelong."

Shelbynodded.

"Didyounotenjoythefoodatthepartytonight?"

"What I hadwas delicious, but it's hard to eat when somany people havequestions."

Nikolaiblinked.Thishadneveroccurredtohim.Hisheadtippedasheasked,"Whatdotheywanttoknow?"

"Oh, the usual.Where did I growup?Howdid Imeet the prince?Aremyparentsalive?Thattypeofthing."

"Whatdoyousayaboutmeetingme?"

"Thatitwasthroughyourparents."

Nikolai justbarelykepthismouthclosed.Therewas somuchhewanted tosay, somuchmore hewanted to know, but her fatiguewas obvious now, andunlesshemissedhisguess, thealmostconstantshiftingofher feetmeant theyhurt.

"Thankyoufortellingme,"hesaidsimply."Sleepwell,Shelby."

"Thankyou,"Shelbysaid,tootiredtoaddanythingelse.

Nikolaiwouldhavebeenpleasedtoknowthatshedidsleepwell,andalmostassoonasherheadhitthepillow.Hisnightwasn'tquitesorestful.

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TolookattheprinceonSundaymorning,hisgazeintentonhiswife,noonewould suspect that he had stood in front ofYvette's picture thatmorning andcried.

Neverhadhisheartbeeninsuchaquandary.Neverhadhebeensoconfusedandunsureofhimself.Hisnewwifewaslovely,poised,andtalented.Whythendidhefeelthatshedesperatelyneededhim?Andnotjustthat-hewasbeginningtodesperatelyneedher in return.He felt different, comforted somehow,whenshewas around.He knew shewas angrywith him at times, but even then hewantedtobenear.

He realized suddenly that he had been watching his wife but not reallylistening to the words she was signing for Pastor Allen. He turned his mind

towardthesermon,andjustintime.

"I remember the first time itoccurred tome that anxietywasa sin. Iwasateenat camp,and the speakerwas tellingaboutwhenhe'dcome toChrist.HehadwrestledandfoughtagainsttheLordforyears,andwhenhefinallycametoChrist,hischildrenwantednothingtodowithhim.Onewentsofarastopackhisbagsandmoveout.

"Iremembersittingthereasthemandescribedthescene.The18-year-oldsonwent storming from the house, his father going after him and trying to speakwithhim,but theyoungmanwouldhavenoneof it.The fatherwas forced tostandandwatchashissonthrewhisbagintothebackofhiscarandtoredownthestreetwithenoughspeedtokillsomeone,maybehimself.Thespeakersaidhestoodthereandfeltworrycrowdinginbutmadehimselfstop.I'llneverforgethiswords.'InmynewfoundfaithIknewthatworrywasasin.IhadnochoicebuttogivemysontoGod,evenifIneversawhimagain.'

"There I sat,"PastorAllenwenton, "just a teenmindyou.But even inmyyouthIaskedGodhowthatcouldbe.Isatthereandsaid,'Noteventhen,Lord?NotevenwhensomeoneIlovemightbehurt?DoYoumeanIcan'teverworry?'Iremembermyheart

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1

cryingoutthosewordstotheLord.Yousee,Ihadbeenworryingmyselfsickovercollege.HowwouldIpayforit?ShouldIsellmycar?ShouldIattendnoworsaveforawhile?"

Thepastorpausedand lookedoutatallof them."I saw thatday thatworrywas a sin.Our text here inMatthew6,Jesus' ownwords,makes that perfectlyclear,butIhadn'treadmyBibleverymuchatthattime.Afterthatexperienceatcamp,Idugdeeplyandlearnedthatwhenitcomestoworry,Godisveryserious.

"WhenweworrywesaytoGod,'Ican'ttrustYou.You'renotdoingYourjob,so I'm going to step in and take over.' We can't just call that arrogance andfoolishness-it'ssin."

Nikolai'seyeshadbeenclosed forsome time,buthewasstill listening.Forweeksnowhehaddonenothingbutworryabouthis relationshipwithShelby.HeopenedhiseyesandwatchedShelbyasshesignedthesenextwords.

"Godisabletobearallthatyouarefrettingabout.Hehasmadeaplan.Hehasmadeprovision.Thereareno shoulders largerormorecapable thanHis.Givethatworry,whateveritis,toGod."

Helpme to do this,Father.Helpme to give Shelby toYou. I believe asmyparentsdothatthismarriagewastherightthingforus,soIknowYouwillworkthisaswell.Iknowshedoesn'tknowwhattodowithmeattimes,justasI'matalosswith her.Helpme to give ofmyself and help Shelby to give of herself aswell.Workinbothourhearts,andhelpmetobelievethatnomatterhowfarwehavetogo,You'llbewithuseverystepoftheway.

The service was coming to an end. They stood for the closing prayer, andShelby was already headed his way. They sat closer to the front when sheinterpreted,andhehadnoticedthatshelikedtobebackinherseatbythetimetheserviceended.Hewasbeginningtoenjoythefamiliarityofopeninghiseyestofindherstandingnexttohim.

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"Tellmesomething,Shelby,"Nikolaisaidalmostimmediatelyasheturnedtoher."Doyougetasmuchoutofthesermonwhenyousignit?"

"No,butPastorAllenallowsme tokeep thenotes, so I'llgoover them thisweek."

"Andwhatdoyoudoifsomethingisn'tcleartoyou?"

She looked uncertain and then shrugged. "I just hope he'll cover it the nextweek."

"I hope you'll check with me," Nikolai said with quiet modesty. "I can'tpromisetohelp,butifI'minthedarktoo,maybewecanfindouttogether."

"Allright,"sheagreed,herheartpoundingabit."Nikolai?"

Hisbrowsroseinexpectation.

"It's terribly late notice-Imean, I shouldhave said something to youbeforenow-but my mother's birthday is tomorrow, and we're going out to dinner."Shelbycametoapainfulhaltandswallowedonce."Youprobablyhaveplans,"shecontinuedwitharedface."I'msorryIneglectedtoaskyousooner."

"Didyousaytomorrownight?"

Shelbynodded.

"Idohavesomethingonthecalendar,butI'lldomybesttogetoutofit."

Shelbyblinked."Youwoulddothat?"

"Foryourmother'sbirthday?Inaflash."

Shelbywasspeechless.

"Whattimewillyougo?"Nikolaiasked,sorrythatshewassoshockedbyhiscourtesy.

"Um .. ."Shelbyanswered foolishly, every logical thought flyingoutofherhead.

Nikolaicouldn'tstophissmileashesaid,"Doyouwanttoletmeknowaboutthetime?"

Shelbyfeltrescuedwhenshehadonlytonod.Thechurchwasclearingoutastheyleft,butseveralpeoplestillstoppedthemfor

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conversation.Bythetimetheygottothedaylimo,Shelby'sbrainhadkickedbackintogear.

"I'mleavingforHenleyatfive,"shetoldNikolai."It'sprettycasual,andwe'llleavefortherestaurantassoonasIarrive."

"I'lltry to go with you, but maybe you should give me the name of therestaurantincaseIrunlate."

"We'llbeattheElectricCompany.Doyouknowit?"

"Yes.Mymotherwenttoschoolwiththeowners."

"Should1haveinvitedyourparents?"Shelbyasked,suddenlythinkingshe'dbeenremiss.

"Didyourmotherwantyouto?"

"Sheonlyaskedmeaboutyou."

"Then don't worry about it. I can assure you my parents won't give it athought."

Shelbynodded,tryingtotakeinhisadvice.

"Whatareyougivingyourmother?"

"Oh,Ihaven'tfoundanythingyet.I'veplanstoshoptomorrow."

"Whatwillyoulookfor?"

"Abookprobably,andmaybeaniceblouseorjewelry."

"Soundsasthoughshelikeseverything."

"Shedoes,andshewon'tmakealistorevenhint.Shelikestobesurprised."

"Howaboutyou,Shelby-doyoutikesurprises?"

"Only if Iknow the surpriserverywell.Oneday thewomenat thehospitalsurprisedmeformybirthday,"shesaidasshegaveasmallshudder."Iblushedforanhour."

Nikolai'sheadwentbackashelaughinglysaid,"Andofcourseblushingistheworstthingyoucando."

"Youcanonlyusethatteasingtonebecauseyou'veneverbeenembarrassed."

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"Ohno,I'veneverbeenembarrassed.I'mjustthemanwhotriedtointroducehimselftotheredheadedwomansittinginthekitchen,onlytolearnshewasmywife."

"I'dforgottenaboutthat."

"Ineverwill."

Shelbyturnedherheadtolookathim,andNikolaididthesametolookather.Forseveralmoments theystudiedeachother.Shelby,a littleconfusedbywhatshesaw,wasthefirsttolookaway.ShewassurprisedwhenNikolai'slargehandcupped her jaw and brought her eyes right back to his. Shelbywatched as heopenedhismouthtospeak,hesitated,andremovedhishand.

"I'lltalktoyoualittlelater,"hesaidsoftly,turninghisgazetothefront.

But he didn't. Shelby didn't see Nikolai again until they left for eveningchurch,andalthoughshewaitedforhimtomentiontheincident,heneverdid.

"Happybirthday,Daria,"Nikolai saidashe shookhismother-in-law'shand."I'msorryI'mlate."

"Wehaven'tevenordered,Nick,"sheassuredhimwarmly."Pleasesitdown."

"Thankyou,"NikolairepliedasheshookBrice'shandandsignedafewwordsto Josiah,whosmiled indelight.Hehadnomore than takenhis chairwhenawaiterarrivedandspoketoJosiahandDaria;Nikolaitookamomenttoaddresshiswife.

"ItoldIvantoleavebecauseyouhaveyourcar.MayIhavearidebacktothepalace?"

"Certainly,"she toldhimeasilyenough,buthereyesdropped to thewayhespilledoverthesmallwoodenchair."It'snotabigcar,"shefeltaneedtoadd.

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Nikolai'seyestwinkled,andforthefirsttimehetriedaflirtation."AfraidI'llbetooclose?"heaskedsoftly.

Shelby'sfacewasglowinginamatterofmoments.

"Well,Red,"Briceproddedfromherotherside,"wanttoshare?"

"Red?"Nikolaiasked,hisbrowsrisingnearlyintohishairline."DidyoucallherRed?"

Bricesmiledwickedly."Don'ttellmeyouhaven'tnoticed."

Nikolaiturnedveryamusedeyestohiswife,whoseowneyesweretellingher

brotherthathewasinforit.

"Red."Nikolaitestedthename."Ilikeit.Itfitsyouverywell."

Shelby refused to lookathim.Shewas stillblushinganddecided themenuneededherattention.

Thewaiterleftforamoment,andDariaturnedhergazetotheyoungpeopleatthe table. Her son and son-in-law were on the verge of laughter, and herdaughter'sfacewasburiedinhermenu.

"Somethingtellsmeyoutwoareintrouble,"Josiahspokeup,havingnoticedaswell.

"I'mgettingreadytoflattenBrice,"Shelby,settingthemenuaside,informedherfatherquitecalmly.

NikolailaughedwhenJosiahsmiled.

"Actually,"Dariainserted,"itwasn'tthatlongagothatshecould."

"Comeon,Mom,"Briceteased,"it'sbeenatleastsixweeks."

"Yes," Shelby saidin a low voice,"Bricehas even been dressing himself fortwowholemonthsnow."

Nikolai saw Brice's hand move but didn't know the intent until his wifejumped from the pinch she'd received. Shelby's own hand moved, but Bricecaughtitinbothofhis.Asthougheverythingwerecompletelynormal,hebegantospeaktoNikolai.

"Whattimedoyouneedmeonthethirtieth?"

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"Wedon'tpulluntiltwoonSunday,butyou'rewelcometocomefortheentireweekend. In fact,"hecontinued, turning tohis in-laws, "you'reallwelcome tostayatthepalace.Henleyisn'talongdrive,butwe'llhavemanyguests,andit'saveryfuntime."

"We'llplanonit,"Josiahwastednotimeinsaying.

"Great,"Nikolairesponded,meaningit."Ithinkyou'llhaveagoodtime."

"What else goes on besides the tug-of-war? "Briceasked as he let go of hissister'shand.

WhileNikolaianswered,Shelbyputherhandsinherlapandworkedtopullheremotionsundercontrol.Whydiditbotherherthatherhusbandwasgettingonsowellwithherfamily?Wasn'tthatwhatshewanted?

I'm crabby right now,Lord, and I don't even knowwhy.There is always somuch to thank You for, but I'm being a grouch. Thank You that Nikolai waswillingtochangehisplanstobeheretonight.ThankYouthathe'smakingsuchaneffort.Helpmenottobeafraidofthechangeinhim.Thatthiswasthecruxofthe matter did not occur to Shelby until she uttered the words to God. Theconcepttookherbysurprise,evenassherealizedshewasgoingtohavetodealwithit.

Itwasarelieftohavethewaitercomebackfortheirorders.ForthemomentShelbyputhertumultuousthoughtsasideandtriedtorememberthatthiswashermother'sbirthday.

Daria had loved her gifts, a mystery novel and small spray bottle of herfavoritecologne,andalthoughShelbyhadprayedalmostconstantly,shewasstillabitdisgruntledwhensheandNikolaiexited theElectricCompanyandmadeforhercar.ItneveroccurredtohertoaskNikolaiifhewantedtodrive.Shelby

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unlockedherdoor,hit theunlockbuttonsoNikolaicouldget in,climbed inherself,andstartedtheengine.

In a matter of moments Nikolai was shown yet another side of his wife'spersonality.Aconfident, almost aggressivedriver, she shiftedwith the easeofbreathingand launched into traffic likea racecardriver.Nikolaiwascrammedrathertightlyintothepassengerseat,orhewouldhaveheldontosomething.

"Have you had this car long?" he asked to take his mind off the way shezippedthroughtrafficasthoughshe'dlivedinthecapitalcityherentirelife.

"Twoyears."

"Afriendofminehasacarsomethinglikethis,butit'sblack."

"Idon't likeblack,"Shelby toldhimhonestlybutwas immediatelysorryforhertone.Tomakeupforitsheasked,"Doyouhaveacaryoudrivemuch?"

"No.I'vebeendrivenallmylifeandnevergainedmuchofaninterest."Thelast word escaped on a small gasp as Shelby avoided a truck that stoppedsuddenly.

"Ilovetodrive,"shevolunteeredasshechangedtoalowergearandthecarshotupthelongdrivetothepalace.ToNikolai'samazement,Shelbydidnotstopatthefrontdoorbutscootedaroundtheirhometothecarbarn.

"HasMurdocktoldyouthatthestaffwillputyourcarawayforyou?"

"Hehas,buteveryonealreadyspoilsmetodeath,andIthinkthisistheleast1cando."

Nikolaifellsilentasshebroughtthecartoahalt.Hehadtobendnearlydoubletogethislegsoutfromunderthedashandemergedtoseethathiswifehadnotwaitedforhim.Hislong-leggedstridemadeiteasytocatchher,butotherthanthankinghimforholdingthedoor,shespokenotaword.

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Nikolai was on the verge of asking her about the silence when her almostirritatedpaceslowed.Shewascrawlingalongwhenshespokehisname.

"Nikolai?"

"Yes?"herepliedsoftly.

"Iwascrabbyatyouwhenwedrovehome,andI'msorry."

"Thankyou,Shelby.MayIaskyouaquestion?"

"Yes."

"DidIdosomething?"

"No,"shesaidsosoftlythatNikolaihadahardtimebelievingher.

"You'resure?"Nikolaitriedagain.

Shelbykeptwalkingbutdidn'tanswer.Theyweretothegreenparlornow,andNikolai,afraidshewouldjustkeepwalking,caughtherhand.

Shelbylookedupathim.

"Whywereyoucrabby?"heaskedquietly,hiseyesmorethanhisvoicetellingherhewantedtoknow.

Shelbyswallowedandadmitted,"I'mangryatbothofus.Myownbrotherhadthingstotalktoyouabout,butwhenI'mwithyouIcan'tfindtenwords.Iknowyou'retrying,andI'mtryingtoo,butwhenmyownfamilyseemstohavemorecommoninterestswithrayhusbandthanIdo,itbothersmemorethanalittle."

"I'mgladyoutoldme.I'vebeenaskingtheLordaboutthisverything."

"Whatexactly?"

"Howtogettoknowyouandhaveyouknowme."

Shelbysoftenedonthesewords,andherfacerevealedthis.

"WhatdidIjustsay?"

"Thatyouwantmetogettoknowyou."

"Youthoughtotherwise?"

"Yes,butIunderstoodwhyyoumightnot."

"Thankyouforthat,butthismarriageisgoingtobeemptyandlonelyifwedon'tworkonthewallsthatdivideus."

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Shelby only nodded, but she could have told him that her marriage wasalreadyalonelyplaceforher.Shehadn'texpectedittobeso,butitwas.Atthesametime,shewasafraidtolethimgetanycloser.Itwasthemostcomplicatedsituationshehadeverbeenapartof.

Shewasverygladwhen,justmomentslater,Nikolaiwishedheragoodnight,andshecouldgoalonetoherroom.Shehadquiteabittothinkabout.

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ThePrincess

Eleven

"Have ImissedShelby?"Nikolai asked thenextmorningashewalked intothekitchen.

"Shehasn't beenhereyet,"Fran toldhim, "andunless she'snothungry thismorning,sheshouldbeheresoon."

"Howoftenisshenothungry?"

Fran'sheadtippedtoonesideinthought."Maybeonceamonth,twiceatthemost."

Nikolainoddedand tooka seat.Thenewspaperwasalreadywaiting forhiswife, butNikolai didnot pick it up.Hismindwas toobusyworkingout howmanymonthstheyhadbeenmarried.ThewayFransaiditmadehimfeelasifhe'dlosttrack.AfewmentalcalisthenicstoldhimitwouldbefivemonthsonthedayoftheKing'sFair.WhenhefeltYvette'sabsencekeenly,itfeltmuchlonger.Whenhethoughtofhowlittleheknewhispresentwifeandhowfarhehadtogo,itseemedbutdays.

"I'mstarving,"ShelbyannouncedasshecamesailingthroughthekitchendoorandrightforFran.Sheputacompanionablearmaroundhershouldersandsaid,"WhatcanIhaveinaboutfourseconds?"

"Ham-and-eggquiche,cereal,ormuffins."

"Can I have all three?" she asked playfully as she turned and sawNikolai."Hi,"shesaidwithsoftsurprise.

"Goodmorning.Yousoundhungry."

"Iam.Idon'tknowwhyafterthatbigmeallastnight,butI'mstarved,"Shelbysaidasshesatoppositehimandtriednottotouch

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herheated face.Without lookingathim,shepouredherselfasmallbowlofcerealbutdidn'taddthemilkbecauseFransetahotpieceofquicheinfrontofheratthesametime.

NikolaiwatchedherprayandthenthankedFranforhisownwarmplatethatheldapieceofquicheandtwomuffins.HewaitedonlyuntilShelbypickedupherforkbeforespeaking.

"Didyoutellmelastnightthatyoudon'tcareforthecolorblack?"

Shelbynoddedandsaidnonchalantly,"It'sneverbeenmyfavorite."

"Soyoudon'tmindit?"

Shelby's head tipped. "I can livewith it, I guess." She took a bite of food,completelyunawareofwherethiswasheaded,

"Yourentireroomisblack,"Nikolaisaid,watchinghergrowverystill.

Shelbylickedherlips.Shehadbeeninsuchabadmoodthenightbeforeandnowsawthatshehadlethertonguerunaway.

"That'strue,"Shelbysaidsoftly.

"Wouldyouhavedecorateditthatwayhaditbeenyourchoice?"

Shelbywanted tohedgeandsay"probablynot,"but thatwouldhavebeenalie.Sheforcedherselftoshakeherheadno.

"Didnoonetellyouthatyoucanredecoratetoyourheart'scontent?"

"Yes,Iknewthat,but-"Shelbystopped.Howcouldshesaythisandnothurtor upset him? She had to make herself go on. "Nikolai, I thought Yvettedecoratedmyroom."

Shehadn'tbeenlookingathimbutnowglanceduptoseehislookofsurpriseandthenrecovery.

"Andyouthoughtitwouldupsetmetoseetheroomchanged?"

Shelbynodded,feelingmiserable.

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"Iappreciatethat,Shelby,Ihonestlydo,butthetruthofthematteristhatmygrandmotherdidthatroom.Whenmyparentslivedhere,theysharedmyroom,asdidYvetteandI.Mymotherisn'tthatcrazyaboutblack,butherownmotherlovesit.Sheleftitthatwaybecausehermotherhadlikedit.Mymotherwouldbevehementaboutyourchanging it ifyoudon't likeblack,andIwouldagreewithher.Changetheroom,Shelby-doanythingyouwantwithit."

Shelbynoddedandthankedhimsoftlybeforemakingherselfgobacktoherfood.Shewasstillhurting inside fromrealizinghowlonelyhermarriagewas,andnowtoberemindedthatatleasttwocoupleshadnotevenneededherroombuthadbeenhappytoshareonebedroomwaslikesaltinanopenwound.

"Whatwillyoudowithit?"Nikolaiaskedashestartedonhisownmeal.

"I'mnotsure.Imightaskmymotherforsomeideas.She'sgoodwiththattypeofthing."

Shelbywas glad that Nikolai only nodded and continued to eat. She didn'twant to talk about this. She didn't have time right now to think aboutredecorating. Indeed, having her bedroom and sitting room torn apartwas thelastthingshewantedatpresent.

Theroyalcouplemanagedtotalkduringbreakfast,butShelbycouldfeelthestrain inherself.They shared thepaper, and she smiledand laughed in all therightplaces,butjustassoonasshewasable,shelefttheroom.Shedidn'tneedtoleaveforanappointmentformorethantwohours,butshestillfeltaneedtoescape.She lastedonlyabout20minutesbeforeshewentback to thekitchen,intentonfindingNikolaiandaskinghimifhehadnoticedherunsettlednessatbreakfast.Hewasgone.Murdock informedher thathe'dgoneout to theskeetarea. Shelby was forced to go to her appointment, not certain whether sheneededtoapologizeornot.

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"Ofall thecookiesyou'vemademe,thisbatchofcookieswasmyfavorite,"thequeenmothertoldShelbythefollowingmorning."IthinkIcouldhaveoneoftheseeveryday."

"Well,do,andwhenyourunoutI'llmakemore."

"It'sadeal,"shesaidinherelderlyvoice,hereyes,stillquitebright,smilingatShelbywhere she sat holding thephoto album. "Now this," she said, her bentfingerpointing,"isRafe.Youprobablyrecognizehim.AndthislittleheadattheedgeofthepictureisNicky."

"Wherearethey?"

"They'reskeetshooting."

Shelbyonlynodded,butthequeenmotherwasthesecondpersonintwodaystomention skeet-shooting, and she was becoming curious. She knew nothingabout it,only that itwas scheduled tobepartof thecompetitionat theKing'sFair.

ThequeenmothersatnexttoShelbyonthedeepsofaandwatchedherprofile.Thatshehadlosttheyoungerwomanwasevident,andasshewastired,sheletthesilencelinger.

/don'tbelievewe'veeverhadaredheadedking,shetoldtheLord.Idohopeitwill be a boy, tall and strong like Nicky. But You know me well, Father; I'llgladlytakeagreat-greatgranddaughter.

"QueenMiranda,"saidBeckett,whosuddenlyappearedatthedoor."Yoursonishere.Mayhejoinyou?"

"Ofcourse,"thequeenmothersaidwithasmile.

"AmIinterrupting?"Antonaskedasheenteredtheroom.

"Notintheleast.Comeandsitwithus."

Antonkissedhismotherandgranddaughter-in-lawandthentooknoteofwhattheyweredoing.

"Awalkdownmemorylane?"heaskedwithatwinkleinhiseye.

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"Indeed."Thequeensmiled rightback. "Shelby is theonlyperson I'veeverknownwhodoesn'ttireofoldfamilyphotosorslidesfromvacations."

Anton laughed, but he could see that his mother was flagging. Shelbyprobablydidn'tknowherwellenoughtorecognizethesigns.HeknewhemustkeephisvisitshortandsomehowtakeShelbywithhimwhenheleft.

"I'mhereabout theKing'sFair,Mother,"hewastedno time insaying. "Didyourememberthatit'scomingupsoon?"

"I did. I had my locking rings out last night to see if I could do a littlesomethingwiththem."

"Howdiditgo?"

"Fineforafewminutes,butmyarmstiredquickly."

"In thatcase I think Ihavegoodnews foryou.Toby'sneighbordoesmagictricks.He's 11 and a rather somber child, but very intelligent and respectful. Ithoughtthetwoofyoucouldfigureoutawaytoworktogether."

"Wouldweneedtomeettoday?"

"No, I can see that you're tired" Anton came right out and said. "If you'reinterested,I'llaskhimtocomeinthemorning."

"Good,"theoldqueenreplied."Dothat.I'lllookforhimaboutnine,shallI?"

"Yes.ShelbyandIwillgonowandletyourest,andifyouchangeyourmindaboutthemorning,youneedonlycall."

"Anton,what'stheboy'sname?"

"Peter.PeterOwens."

"Andyousayhe's11?"

"Yes."

The oldwoman nodded and smiled before putting a hand on Shelby's arm."Thankyouforcoming,mydear.We'llvisitagainsoon."

Shelby smiled as she leaned to kiss thewell-seamed cheek that smelled ofwisteria.Anton rosewhenshedid, and the twomade theirway from thewestquadrant.

148(lick

"Ididn'tknowshewastired,"Shelbyadmittedsoftly."I'msorry."

"Shehides itverywell"Antonsaidsternlyofhismother."Sheshouldn'tdothat.I'vetoldhermanytimes,butshecanbestubborn."

"She's so special. She toldme all about theway shemarried into the royalfamily.1feelI'velearnedalot."

"She would be just the person to talk with, but you're doing splendidly,Shelby.Ihopeyourealizethat."

"MostdaysI'mafraidIdon't,butit'sniceofyoutosay."

"Issomethingbotheringyourightnow?"

"Yes,butit'ssomethingveryfoolish."

"Tel!meanyway."

Shelby stopped and looked up at him. "I don't know anything about skeetshooting, and I've been told thatNikolaiwill shoot at the fair and sowill theking."Shelbyshruggedawkwardly."IjustwishIknewmore."

"I'lltellyouwhatyoucando."Anton'svoicedroppedinaconspiratorialtone."Headoutof townon theB48.Take it to the lakecrossingandgoright.You'llstayontheroadforabouttwomiles,andthenyou'llbeattheskeetclub."

"Icangooutthere?"

"Anytime. They'll show you around, let you shoot, answer your questions-anythingyouwant."

Shelby'ssmilestartedslowlybutgrewhuge.Thekinggrinnedbackatherandfairlybeamedwhenshewentupontiptoetokisshischeek.Watchingherwalkawayforseveralseconds,hewonderedifhisgrandsonhadlearnedyetthatshewasonegirlinamillion.

Shelbyglancedbehindher tosee ifKriswasflagging.He lookedstrong,soshekeptontowardherdestination.Normally

149

shewould not have been concerned, but he'd been a bit under theweatherduringtheweekend.Gilberthadaccompaniedherontwoexcursions.

Today was Thursday. This morning she'd been given the restful news thatbecause of a cancellation she had no appointments all day, and because theKing'sFairwasjusttendaysaway,shehadimmediatelymadeotherplans.

Shelbywasbeginning to think she'dmisunderstood thedirectionswhen shesawtheareaahead."RoyalSkeetGrounds"thesignread,andShelbyturnedandpedaled along the road, Kris still trailing her. Notmanyminutes later Shelbypulledtoastopandsurveyedtheacresinfrontofher.

It was a lovely section in the capital city's east end. Flat, wide-open fieldsstretchedbeforeher,anddottingtheacresinaremarkablystraightlineweretheshooting areas and the boxedmechanisms that released the clay pigeons.Krisrodeupbesideherasshesat,stillastrideherbike,bothfeetontheground.

"I had no idea it would be so big," Shelby said softly. Shewas not overlyfamiliarwithKrisandnotsurprisedwhenherecitedforherthetotalacresandsaidnothingmore.Shelbysmiledathiminthanks,knowinghewouldknow,andthenlookedtoseetwomencomingtowardher,

"PrincessShelby," the tallerof the twospokeassoonashewasnear,"KingAnton'sministercalledandsaidyoumightbecoming.IamMatthews,andthisismyassistant,Austin.Mayweshowyouaround?"

"Thankyou,"Shelbyrepliedgraciously,climbingfromtheawkwardpositiononthebike."Idon'twanttobeintheway."

"Notatall.Wehaveasmallclubhousewithacafeandgiftshop.Wewouldbemosthonoredifyouwouldjoinus."

"And the prince's gun is here," the assistant added. "Youmay shoot if youwish."

"Oh,Iwouldn'twanttousetheprince'sgun.Imightbreakit."

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They were all denials and smiles over this, but Shelby's mind was quietlymade up. She had awonderful time seeing the clubhouse, cafe, and shop, butwhentheywentouttoshowherhowthecompetitionworkedandofferedherashotgun,shewouldnottakeNikolai's.

"Wehaveanotherone,"Austinoffered."I'lljustrunandgetitforyou."

ShelbysmiledathisenthusiasmbutfeltaneedtoremindMatthewsthatshehadn'tdonethisbefore.

"I'venevershotagun."

"ThegunAustinisbringingisverybasic.Feelfreetotryit."

Hewassoeager topleaseher thatShelbyknewshewouldhave to try.Sheglanced atKris,whohadmoved a discreet distance away, andwondered howshe'dgottenherselfintothis.

"Hereweare,"MatthewssaidjoyfullyasAustincamewiththegun.Hetookitfromhis assistant's hands and held it across the palms of his own. "Feel free,PrincessShelby."

Shelbyswallowedandliftedthegun.Shewasratherintimidatedbythefeelofitandthefearthatshewouldhurtsomeone.

"It'snot loaded,"oneof themen toldher,butShelbywas stillverycareful.Sheturnedouttolookacrossthefieldsandeventhoughtaboutraisingtheguntohereye.Shewaslookingdownatthebarrel,surprisedbythelength,whenoneofthemenspoketoherhusband.Shelbyhuggedtheguntoher,thebarrelnexttoherear,andspuntoseeNikolaitoweringoverher.

"Hi,"hesaidsoftlyashegentlyremovedtheweaponfromhergrasp.

"It'snotyourgun,"Shelbytoldhimbreathlessly,onlytoohappytorelinquishtheweapon."Ididn'twanttobreakyourgun."

"I'mnotatallworriedaboutyourbreakingmygun,butI'dratheryoudidn'thuganygunclosetoyourface."

Shewatchedhimbreakthebarrel,checkthechamber,andcloseitagain.

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"It's unloaded, as I was certain it would be, but you still shouldn't point ittowardyourear."

Shelbynoddedandbitherlip.Howdidheknowshewashere?SheturnedtoquestionMatthewsandAustin,buttheyhadbothstartedaway.

"Didyouwanttotrytoshoot,Shelby?"

Feeling panicked, Shelby looked back at him and shook her head. Nikolaiwatchedherandtriedtofindsomewordstotakethefearfromherface.

"Shelby,I'msorryif-"

"I'msoembarrassed,"Shelbywhispered,cuttinghimoff."Ijustwantedtoseewhatitwaslike.Ijustwantedtowatch.Ididn'tknowthegunwouldbesoscaryinmyhands,buttheywantedmetotakeit.Theyweresoeagertoshowme,andIdidn'tknowhowtosayno."

HadNikolainotbeenholdingthegun,hewouldhavehuggedher."I'lltellyouwhat," he said kindly. "Why don't you sit here, and I'll show you how thisworks."

Hetookherhandandledhertoabenchnearby.Shelbysatdownandwatchedashewenttotheboxofshells,loadedthegun,andplacedearplugsinhisears.Justaminutelaterhetookposition,shouted"pull,"andshotattheclaypigeonthatwasreleased.Shelbywatchedasthedishlikeobjectburstinthesky.Nikolaithenturnedtolookather.

"That'sallthereistoit,"Nikolaisaideasily."Wouldyouliketotryit?"

"IthinkI'dratherwatchyou."

Withoutaword,Nikolaiturnedandraisedthegunagain.Heshotseveralmoretargetsinthenextfewminutes,missingonlythelastone.

"Imustbenervouswithyouwatchingme,"hesaid,hiseyesonthereloadingofhisgun.

Shelbysmiled."Isomehowdoubtthat."

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1

Nikolaislantedherasidelongglance."Youmightbesurprised."

Shelbycouldn'tpullhereyesfromhis.Hewasdevastatinglyhandsometoherrightnow,hiseyessoblueandprobingthatShelbyfeltherbreathleaveherinarush.Afteramomentheturnedbacktotheopenfields.

"Ithinkwe'remakingprogress,Red.Youdidn'tevenblush."

Shelbybitherliptokeepfromlaughingevenasshefeltherfaceheat.

"But1won'tturnaroundrightnow,"Nikolaisaidwithhisbacktoher,"orI'llbeprovedwrong.Pull!"

Nikolaitookseveralmoreshots,sometimescallingfortwopigeonsatatime,before setting his gun aside, removing the plugs fromhis ears, andwaving toMatthewsatthecontrols.

"Youcanstilltrytoshootifyou'dlike."

"No,thankyou.Myfamilyhasneverevenownedguns,andIjustwantedtoseewhatskeetshootingwaslikebeforethefair."

"I'mgladsomeonecalledme."

"Isthathowyouknew?"

"Umhm."

The couple was walking toward Nikolai's car now, and Shelby glancedsidewaysupathim.

"Whatdidthatpersonsay?"

"Oh,hewasveryrespectful,butthegistwassimple:Theprincessisouthereandlookingquitelost.Doesanyonewanttoclaimher?"

Shelbylookedaway,feelingverymuchafool.Ithadallseemedsoinnocent.She just wanted to learn of the sport. Never was she hounded by people orpursued in any way, but having everyone know who she was had its keendisadvantages,nottomentionthefactthatthekingregenthadaskedhisministertocallahead.

"I'llseeyoubackatthepalace,"Shelbysaid,herownpathpartingfromhis."Thankyouforshowingme,Nikolai."

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"Whereisyourcar?"Nikolaiaskedherretreatingback.

"Irodemybike,"Shelbyansweredwithoutturning.

"Ridehomewithme,"hecalled,needing to raisehisvoice tobeheard."I'llsendsomeonebackforyourbike."

"Thankyou,but Ineed theexercise."Shelbyhadstoppedand turned tosaythis,butassoonas thewordswereoutofhermouth,shecontinuedontowardKris.Shehad just satdown in thebikeseatwhenNikolai reachedher.Shelbycontinuedtostraponherbikehelmet,putherhandsonthehandlebarsbeneaththeseat,andputonefootonthepedal,hermessageclear.

Nikolaistared."Thisisyourbike?"

"No,Nikolai,thisismyswimmingpool.Irideiteverywhere."

Hewassoastoundedbyhersarcasmandtherecumbentstyleofthebikethatall he could dowas laugh. Shelby sat in bemused silence over his outrageousresponse.

"I'msorry,Shelby,"hefinallygasped."Youjusttookmebysurprise."

"Haveyourealtyneverseenthisbikebefore?Irideacoupleoftimesaweek."

"Never. I've seen you on your skates, but not this bike. I'd like to try itsometime."

"Anytimeexceptnowisfine.I'mgettinghungryforlunch."

"Whydon'tyoucomebackwithmeinthecar?"Hisofferwasmostsincere.

"BecauseIwanttoride."

Nikolai thought it was her way of saying she needed some space. He washappytoobligeher.

"I'llseeyouathome."

"Allright.Thanksagain."

Nikolaiwavedasshetookoff,amazedathowswiftlyshecoveredtheyardsto

theroadandthenstartedbacktowardtown.

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"No wonder Kris looks like he's dropped weight," Nikolai observed as hewatched the companion stay at an exact distance behind the princess, andseeminglywithremarkableease.

Ivanheardtheremarkbutkeptsilent.Krishadlostweight,buthewaslovingit.Heclaimedtohavemoreenergythanhe'dhadsincehisschoolyears.

"Let'sgohome,Ivan.Ifwedon'thurry,she'llbeatus."

"Yes,sir."

Ivanwas as faithful a servant as any royal could hope for andnot given togossip,butifArlandashouldask,andofttimesshedid,thereporthewouldgivewouldbeverypositiveindeed.

Theclockread2:15thenextmorningwhenNikolaiwokefromastartling!)'realdream.Helaylookingintothedark,hisarmsachingtoholdhiswife.

Somethingishappening here, Lord. I've never dreamed of Shelby. I've eventriedtohaveherinmylastthoughtsbeforesleepsoIcould,butit'salwaysbeenYvette.Nikolai'schestroseandfell.Itwassoreal,Father.Istillcan'tbelieveshe'snothere.

In a single move he sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes on the door thatseparatedtheirrooms.HeknewitwouldonlyfrightenShelbyifhecheckedonher,butthetemptationwasstrong.

Shemightbeyourwife,Nick,butyou'vegottogoslowhere.You'vegottogivehertime.Shestilllooksatyouwithtoomuchapprehensionanddoubt.

Theprincerose.Thewaterhesplashedonhisfacefromthebathroomsinkfeltverygood,buthisheartwasnomoresettled.

Showme,Lord,heprayedashelaybackdown.Showmethenextstep.Helpmetobemoreapproachable,andhelpShelbytomovetowardmetoo.Showushowtodothis.ShowusinYourtime.NikolaiwasstillaskingGodforwisdomwhenhefinallydriftedbacktosleep.

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Shelbywatchedtheoldmannexttoherashepushedhisfoodaroundhisplatewithafork.Hereyes,whichdartedaboutthediningroom,tookinwhatshewasaccustomed to seeing in that room of the care center. Not one of the staffmembersatewiththeresidents,nordidanyofthedirectorssaveherself.Shelbyalso took note of the fact that visiting family members only sat with theirbeloved-theydidnoteatwiththem.

Theprincessfeltthetimeforaconfrontationhadcome.Thedirectors'meetingwas to start in less than tenminutes. Shelby had a fewmore words with thepeopleathertableandthenrosetofreshenupinthebathroom.Bythetimeshetook her seat at the huge table in the meeting room, she was ready. The oldminuteswerereadanda fewchangesweremade,but justassoonas thefloorwasopenfornewbusiness,Shelby'spenwentintotheair.

"PrincessShelby,"theheaddirectoracknowledged.

As was the custom, board members presented new business at the smallpodiumsetupattheheadofthetable.Shelbygrabbedhernotebook,hopingherkneeswouldcarryher,andtookherplacebehindthesmoothoakstand.

"It has recently come tomy attention that I am, as a member of the royalfamily,allowedacertainmeasureofinfluence,withinreason,inthisfacility.Isthatcorrect,Mr.Chairman?"

"Indeed,PrincessShelby.Youmayaddoradjustrulesthatonlythekingcanchange."

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"Thankyou.Ihavenotasyetfeltaneedtotakeadvantageofmystatusastheprincess,buttoday1will.EffectiveNovember1,justalittlemorethanamonthfromnow,noemployeeordirectorof thecarecentermaybring foodonto thepremises,includingtheparkinglot."

AsShelbyexpected,Mrs.Radford,thecenter'sadministrator,putherhandinto

theair.

"Yes,Mrs.Radford?"

"Princess Shelby, I find a need to remind you that the staff has only 30minutesforlunchand10minutesatbreaktime.Thereisnotimeforthemtogoouttoeat."

"Precisely," Shelby said with no triumph in her voice. She went onquietly."Whichmeansthey'llhavetoeatwhatthekitchenprepares."

Shelbyknewexactlywhichdirectorshadknownwhere shewasheadedandwhichwere surprisedby this announcement.Mrs.Radfordwas dumbfounded.Herfacewasadeepshadeofpuce,andhadshebeenwearingacorset,Shelbywassurethestayswouldhavecreaked.

"Idon't thinkyouknowwhatyou're asking," shebegan,butShelbycutheroff.

"Onthecontrary,Mrs.Radford,IknowjustwhatI'masking,andthat'swhyI'mgivingyou fiveweeks to implement the change.Todaywas the lastday1willbeforcedtowatchtheresidentsinthishomepushtastelessfoodaroundontheirplates.Notevenvisitingfamilymemberswilleatthefoodprovided."

"I'm not sure you understand, Princess Shelby,"Mrs. Radford cut back in."Foodpreparedingreatquantitiesandinaninstitutionsuchasthistendstohaveacertaininstitutional-typeflavor."

"Idounderstand.Therewillbecertainlimitations,Mrs.Radford,andIhaveappreciatedyoureffortstokeepcostsdown,butyouwillnolongertrimcostsinthekitchen.Iwantfreshfruitsandvegetablesservedwheneverpossible.Iwantmeatservedon

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itsown,notsmotheredinsauces thatdisguiseall taste.Iwantfreshdessertseveryday,notsomethingbakedonMondayandservedallweek."

Shelby'seyesmetthoseofeveryonearoundthetable.Somewerefuriousandsomeheldrespect.

"Ihavegoneoverthebooksrepeatedly.Thiscarecentercanwellaffordbetterfood.Wespenda small fortuneongrounds,whichmostof thepatronscannotevengoouttoenjoy.Theylookbeautiful,butsomethingsimplerwouldbejustasappreciated.Threedeliciousmealsadaywillgomuchfurtherfortheheartsandlives,nomatterhowbrief,ofourelderlypatients."

AgainShelbystudiedtheirfaces."Youhavefiveweekstomakethechanges.If this is not enough time, you may see me about an extension, but the rulestands."

Shelby took her seat, still trembling inside. The table was quiet for a fewseconds,andShelbykepthereyesdown.Whenshedid lookup, itwas to seeone of the sternest men at the table staring right at her. Shelby had to forceherselfnottolookaway.Thetableeruptedinargumentjustamomentlater,butnotbeforeShelbywatchedoneofthosesterneyeswinkather.Itgaveherjustthecouragesheneededtostandherground.

Shelby skated down the hallway to her bedroom, sweat dripping down herback.Themorning'smeetinghadbeenlongandheated,andshehadfeltagreatneedtoskateintotheparkforsometimealone.Shetookachairrightinsideherbedroomdoorandtookherskatesoff.AmomentlaterShelbydampenedahandtowelandput itaroundherneck, thenwalked into themiddleofherbedroomandstoodstill.

IbelievedwithallofmyheartthatYouwantedmetodothat,Lord.I'vetriedsomanytimestogetMrs.Radfordtoimprovethe

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food,butshealwaysmakesexcusesorsaysshe'lldoitandthendoesn't.IfellIhadnochoke,Ididn'twanttogotoalltheotherdirectorsandstartaconspiracybehindMrs.Radford'sback,butmaybethiswasn'tthewayeither.

Shelbythoughtforamomentaboutwhohadbeenopposed.Thepeoplewhohadbeenagainstthechange,Mrs.Radfordandfourothers,hadneverhadfamilymembers in the care center.Somanypeople believed that the elderly couldn'ttasteanything.Shelbyknewthatsomeofthetonguecellsgrewdull,butshehadyet to see anoldpersonwhocouldn't taste thedifferencebetween sour creamandicecream.

Shelbypacedaroundabit,stillfeelinghotandmiserable.Shewasjustabouttoopenthewindowwhenastartlingthoughthither.

What if I've gone too far, Lord?What if I've put the crown in a bad light?WhatwillNikolai'sfathersaytometHowwillIexplain?MaybeIshouldhavegonetohimfirst.

Shelbywasstillinaquandaryoverthiswhensomeoneknockedonthedoor.

"Comein,"shecalledabsently,turningtoseeNikolaienter.Shewaiteduntilhe'dshutthedoorandthenblurted,"Nikolai,cantheprincessbefired?"

Nikolaistoppedshort.Heblinkedandstaredathiswife.

"No,"hefinallysaidslowly.

Shelbynoddedbutstilllookeddistressed.

"Shelby,istheresomethingyouwanttodiscusswithme?"

Sheopenedhermouthbutendedupshakingherhead."No,butthankyouforoffering.Istillhavesomethinkingtodoonmyown."

"You'resure?"

"Yes."

"Allright,"Nikolaisaidbutcontinuedtowatchher.

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Shelby'sbrowsroseafteramoment,andherhusbandseemedtocomeoutofhistrance.

"HereisthatlistofnamesMurdocksaidhewouldgettoyou."

"Oh,that'sright,thankyou,"Shelbysaidasshetookthepaperfromhishand.

"You'resureyou'reallright?"

"Yes,Nikolai,thankyouagain."

Not until after hewent out the door did Shelbywonder if she should havetalked to him. Thinking she'd missed her chance, she mentally shrugged and

wenttotakehershower.

"Well, hello there,"Nikolai called as hewalked into the large parlor in thewestquadrantandgreetedthesmallboyhefoundsittingthere.

"Hello,"theladreturnedsoftly,watchinghimwithhugeeyes.

"Areyouhere tosee thequeenmother?"Nikolaiasked, takingaseatacrossfromhim.

Theboynodded."Wedomagictogether."

Now it was Nikolai's turn to nod. He had not heard of this but found itplausible.

"Whatsortoftricksdoyoudo?"

"Oh,thingswithcardsandringsandsuch."

"Haveyoubeenatitforsometime?"

"Yearsandyears,"hesaidwithquietmodesty.

Nikolaismiled."Ismygrandmotherteachingyou,orareyouteachingher?"

"We'resortaworkingtogether.She'sprettygood."

"Yes,sheis.I'vebeenwatchinghermagicactssinceIwasyourageatleast."

Theboy'seyesgrewround."Areyoutheprince?"

"Iam.What'syourname?"

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"Peter,sir.PeterOwens."

"It'snicetomeetyou,Peter.Doyoulivenearthepalace?"

"IlivenexttoToby."

"Oh,IknowToby,"Nikolaisaidcalmly,butthingswerebeginningtofallintoplace.Tobyhadbeenasking forprayer forhisneighbors formanyyearsnow.Nikolai'sheartsoftenedinstantly,justknowingwhothiswas.

"Howisityoucametoworkwithmygreatgrandmother?"

"TobytoldKingAnton,andhetoldQueenMiranda."

"Maybeyoucanperformformetoday."

The boy nodded, looking old beyond his years. "If the queenwants to,wecan."Peterpaused."Sometimesshegetstired."

"AndsheneedsherrestforSaturday."

"We'regoingtodoamagicshowateleven."

"I'lllookforwardtoit.Whatwouldyousayisyourfavoritetrick?"

Peter's head tipped a little. "I think separating the rings. I like how smooththeyareandthesoundtheymake."

"I'lllookforwardtoseeingthatone,"Nikolaisaid.Notfortheworldwouldhehave told him that his great grandmother had shownhim the trick to that onewhenhewasten.

"Well,Nicky,"thequeenmotherspokeassheenteredtheroom,"I'mgladyoumadeit.Lunchisjustaboutready."

"Good.Iwasjusttalkingtoyourpartnerhere.Itsoundsasthoughthetwoofyouaregoingtodelightus."

"Peterwill,"thequeenmothersaidasshesatbesidehim."Hehasmarveloushands."

Thelittleboysmiledshylyupatthequeen,andNikolai'sheartturnedover.Headoredhisgrandparents,allof them,andwasdelighted to see thisyoungmanwithsomeofthesamefeelings.

"PrinceNikolaiwashopingwewouldperformforhim,"Peternowconfidedtothequeen.

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"Whatdoyouthink?"sheaskedwithoutlookingathergreatgrandson.

"Maybejustone,"Petersaidsoftly.

Thequeennodded solemnly,notonce lettingher eyes roam toNikolai.Shehad lost her heart to this hurting child and knew that speaking to him like anadultmadeallthedifferenceintheirrelationship.

"Actually"thequeenmotherremembered,"Beckettandtwoothersofthestaffwere hopingwewould give them a little performance.Why don't we do onetrickrightafterlunchandinvitethemtojoinNicky?"

Peter smiled, a shy smile that didn't last long but lingered in his eyes asBeckettcalledthemtolunch.

AtthetableNikolaisatoppositehisgreatgrandmother,Peterbetweenthem.

"Now,Peter,"thequeensaidkindly,"wheneverNickyeatswithmehethanksGodforthefood.Ijustwantedyoutoknow."

"Idon'thavetopray,doI?"Peterasked,hislookbecomingguarded.

"No,butIlikeNickyto"

"Since you don't care to pray, Peter,"Nikolai added, "is there anything youwouldlikemetoaskGodwhenIpray?"

Clearlythequestioncaughttheboyoffguard.Notsurprisinglyhesaidno.

Nikolai nodded and bowed his head. "Thank you, Father, for this food. Itlooksverygood,andIknowwe'llenjoyit.Amen."

BothNikolaiandthequeenimmediatelyreachedforthefoodsetoutforthem,althoughtheywerebothveryawareofPeter'sintensescrutiny.Thathehadbeenexpectingadifferentsortofprayerwasobvious.

"Ihopeyou'rehungry,Peter.Iorderedextrabecauseyouwerecoming."

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"Ilikethesechips,"headmittedasheputsomeonhisplate.Healreadyhadasandwichandhisrootbeer.Thequeentookthisasagoodsignandtoldhimtosaveroomfordessert.

Theconversationpickedupwhere it leftoff,Nikolaiaskingquestionsabouttricksofillusion,andPeteransweringthemwithseriousconfidenceanddignity.

Thelunchwasadelightfulhour,andwhetherornotthequeenmotherplannedit, Nikolai's heart was hooked. He left the west quadrant for his nextappointment,askingGodtoputhimintouchwithPeterOwensagain.

Therewas a blondewoman in thekitchen.Shewasdressed in a royal bluepantsuit andbakingcookies.Nikolai stoodquite still ashewatchedher takeapanfromtheovenandnearlylaughedwhensheturnedandhecouldseeitwasShelby. This wig was curly, shorter than her own hair but still touching hershoulders.

"Biblestudytoday,Shelby?"Nikolaiaskedassheletthedoorclose.

"Yes," she saidwith a smile inhisdirection, thehot tray inherhandgoingontothecounter.

Nikolaiapproached.

"Howmanyareinthestudy?"heasked,hiseyesonthesheet.

"There are six of us," she replied, a smile in her voice as another batch ofcookieswentintotheoven.

"Areanyofthemwatchingtheirweight?"

Shelbyhadagoodlaughoverthis."Itakeityou'dlikeasample."

Nikolaiturnedinnocenteyestoher."Onlyifyouhaveenough."

"Ihaveplenty,buttheyhavenutsinthem."

"Doesthatmatter?"

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"ItwouldtoFaandBrice.Theywantmymothertowarnthem."

"Well,Iguessmyfavoritechocolatechipcookieswouldbewithoutnuts,butsinceI'mbegging,Ican'tbechoosy."

"Wouldyoulikeahotoneoronethat'scool?"

Nikolai gave a sad shakeofhis head, hisvoicepositively tragic ashe said,"Thatyouwouldofferanyoneacoldchocolatechipcookiewhentherearehot

onesavailableisnothingshortofacrime.I'mashamedofyou,Red."

Shelbybitherliptokeepfromsmilingashecontinuedtowaghisheadandatthesametimesweepthreecookiesfromthepan.Thefirstonewentdownintwobites,andshewaitedfortheverdict.

"These are good," he managed before another cookie disappeared. "I thinkyoumightbeinthewronglineofwork."

"SomedaysIwouldagreewithyou,"Shelbyadmitted.

"Like when?" Nikolai asked, instantly alert. He leaned against the table asthoughhehadallday.

Shelbyshrugged."LiketomorrowattheKing'sFair."

"Whythen?"

"Idon'tknow,"Shelbyadmitted."I'mjustverynervousaboutit.IwishIhadajobtodo."

"Shelby,youworkhardallweeklong.It'ssupposedtobeatimeoffun."

"Thequeenmotherwillbeworking."

"True,butshedoesn'tdowhatyoudoallweeklong.Notanymore,thatis."

Shelbystilllookedunconvinced.

"Ihopeyouknowthatyoumightchangeyourmindaweekfromnow."

"Why?"

"The Palace Fair. Thisweekend you need to try to relax.We'll beworkinghardnextweekend."

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Since Shelby didn't know what that would involve, her doubts were notdispelled. She knew, however, that if they continued to speak of the fair, shewouldstartstammeringandblushinginanattempttomakeherselfunderstood.Itwasnicetohavethetimergooffandtohaveanexcusetoturnherattentiontothecookies.Shealsohad tokeepmoving forother reasons-fiveof them tobe

exact:ThewomeninherBiblestudywerewaiting.

"Howareyou?"Shelby askedNattywhere she lay in thehospital bed.Thewomenweremeetinginherroomthisday.

"Itwasworse yesterday, I'll say thatmuch, but I can't promise that I'll stayawake,evenforSecondandThirdJohn."

"Ifyoufallasleep,welljustfillyouinlater,"Graceoffered.

"I'mnotsureIcanstudywithacookieinmyhand."ThiscamefromDeb,thecharacterofthegroup.

"Youcouldconsiderputtingitdown,"Nattysuggested.

"Spokenlikeawomanwhoisn'tinthemoodforcookies,"Debcontinuedasshetookonemore.

Natty only laughed and tried one. Shelby was quietly pleased when Nattywent on to eat two. Shelby kept study short and spent extra time on prayerrequests, but seeing Natty so ill made her feel drained. She returned to thepalace, her mind full of questions for her Lord. Without even changing herclothes,shetookawalkonthegroundsandendedupnearoneofthetreesthathadbeenagiftfromthegardenclub.

"Youknowmewell,Lord,"sheprayedsoftly,gladtobealoneandunheardbyothers."Iplantedthese treesclosebysoIcouldberemindednot tofear,butImusttellYouthatIwouldmuchratherbestungbyabeethanlosemyNatty.MyfathertoldmewhenItookoverthestudythatthepricemightbesteep,andeventhoughIunderstood,Ididn'treallygraspit.It'shardtoseeherso

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sick.Shewassopale,andIknowshefeltalittlevulnerablewithoutherwig."

Shelby's handwent to the blonde hair on her own head. Just the feel of itcausedtearstofloodhereyes.Thistimesheprayedinherheart.

Shewon'tneedoneoftheseifYoutakeherhome,willshe?Theonlyquestionthatremainsiswhetherornottherestofuswillsurvive.Yousufferedforus,andIforgetthatsoeasily.NowIseeNatty,andIcanhardlystandthethoughtofwhat

Youwent through on the cross. Iwant to ask You to take her soon, but that'stellingYouwhattodo.Myheartjusthurtssomuch.

"Shelby?"

TheprincessturnedtoseeNikolaistandingjusttenfeetaway.

"Areyouallright?"

Asingletearsliddownherfaceassheshookherheadno.Withoutpermission,Nikolaicameforwardandputhisarmsaroundher.Shelby,desperatetobeheld,clungtohim.Theprinceachedtotellhereverythingwouldbeallright,buthecouldn'tdothat.KnowingthatshehadbeenwithherBiblestudyladies,itcouldhavebeenanynumberofhurtsthatbroughtonhertears.

"I'msorry,"hefinallyheardhergasp.Uptothenshehadn'tbeenmakinganysoundatall.

"Didsomethinghappen?"heasked,hisarmsstillaroundher.

"No,notreally.Imean,Natty'sinthehospital,andshejustlooksso-"Shelbycouldn'tgoon.

"Youdon't have toexplain, "Nikolaisaid, his head slightly bent so she couldhear."Afteryouleft,IwassorryIdidn'taskyouifIcouldcomelongenoughtomeetthewomen."

Shelbymovedbackinhisarms,herownfallingfromhisback,buthishandsremainedlockedbehindherwaist.

"Youwantedtomeetmycancerladies?"

"Yes.I'msorryIkeepforgettingtotellyou."

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"Oh,Nick,theywouldbesothrilledtomeetyou-especiallyNatty."

"Wecouldseehertonight.I'mfree."

Shelbyblinkedfastbutstillfelttearscomeonagain.ShemadenoargumentwhenNikolaipulledhercloseoncemore.Hehuggedher fora long time,and

whenheletgo,hekeptanarmaroundhertoleadhertothehouse.

"We'llgorightafterdinner.Willthatworkforyou?"

"Yes.Thankyou,Nick."

Nikolai had everything he could do not to pull her back into his arms.Whenevershedroppedhisfullname,hefelttheyweremakingprogress.Someweeksbefore,hisfatherhadtoldhimhewouldthinkofawaytocourtShelby.Nikolaifeltasthoughhe'ddonejustthat.Hehadclearedhisscheduleasmuchashewasableandsimplylookedfortimesandopportunitiestobewithhiswife.Whenhehadlookedoutandseenheronthegrounds,hehadbeencontentjusttowatchher.Thenshehadputherhandsoverhermouth,andheknewhehadtojoinher.

A few hours later he was very glad that they'd gone to see Natty. Shelbywalkedwithgreatfamiliaritytoherfriend'shospitalroom,andwhensheslowed,heputahandonherarm.

"I'llwaithere,Shelby,soyoucanseeifshe'suptomeetingme."

"Oh,that'sagoodidea.I'llberightback."

Nikolaileanedagainstthewall,surehewouldbewaitingsomeminutes,butShelbywasbackinjustamatterofseconds.

"Comeonin."

Nikolaijoinedhiswifeinthespotlesshospitalroomandsawasmallwomanonthebed.Shehadagolfcapatopherbaldheadandsmiledassoonashereyesmethis.

"Natty,"Shelbybegan,"thisisNick.Nick,thisisNattyCarlson."

Nikolaiputhishandout."It'sgoodtomeetyou,Natty."

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"Thankyouforcoming.Myhusbandjust left.He'llbesorry tohavemissedyou."

"Maybe I'll meet him next time. Do you have children who visit, Natty?"

Nikolaiaskedashetookaseat.

"Yes.They'reallgrown,though.Wehaveanemptynest."

"Natty'sdaughterisanursehereatthehospital,"Shelbyfilledin."Theyseeeachotheralot."

"Doessheactuallyworkinthisward?"

"No,she'sonthechildren'sfloor,butwhenI'madmittedshecomesafterworkeachday."

"Dotheywanttokeepyouforawhile?"

"Aboutaweektotal.IgohomeMondayorTuesday."

Nikolaismiled.

Natty'sgazeshiftedtoShelby,andshesmiled.

"I had forgotten how pretty your hairwas, Shelby.Allwe ever see are thewigs."

"Ihavemyeyeonanewone."Shelby'ssmilewasmischievous.

"Whatcolor?"

"Astrawberryblonde,allcurlyandwild."

Nattycrowedwithlaughter.

"Whereisit?"

"AtBergdorf's.TheyalsohaveagrayoneI like,butIdon't thinkIcanpullthatoffyet."

"Givemesomewarning,"Nikolaichimedindryly."Ifanyoneeverspotsmemoving around townwith all of these differentwomen,my reputationwill beshot."

Thewomenclearlytooknopityonhim.TheyteasedhimforawhilebeforeoneoftheinternswantedtocheckNatty.Theexamheldthepossibilityofbeingquitelengthy,sotheroyalcouplesaidtheirgoodbyes.

"Thankyou,Nick,"wasallShelbysaidwhentheyarrivedbackatthecar.

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Nikolaionlykissedhercheek,unabletospeak.Somanythingswerestartingto make sense about his wife-her kindness and way with people, her tender,compassionate heart. Something was happening to him, something scary andexcitingallatthesametime,andhedidn'tknowwhattodowithit.HewantedtotellShelby that the trip to thehospitalwashispleasure,butat themomenthecouldn'thavespokenifhe'dtried.

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ThePrincess

Thirteen

The day of the King's Fair dawned lovely and warm. Shelby dressedaccording to the schedule on her desk. The children's gameswere first. Afterlunchcameskeetshooting.Followingdinnerthateveningtheywouldattendtheconcerton thepalacegrounds.Allof theeventswerefairlycasual,butShelbywantedtolooknice.Herfamilywouldbearrivingthatmorningandstayingforthe next two nights. Shewas very excited about this but also a little nervousabouttheirhavingagoodtime.

She need not have worried. They arrived when she was getting some last-minute instructions from the queen, and Murdock saw to their comfort. Shedidn't see them until the children began to gather for the games, and the firstthingtheytoldherwashowcomfortableandbeautifultheirroomswere.Shelbywasabletomoveonandnotworry.

"Shelby," Nikolai called to her almost as soon as she left her parents. Sheturnedtoseehimwithaboy.

"Hi.Didyouneedme?"

"Yes. I want you to meet Peter Owens. Peter, this is my wife, PrincessShelby."

"Hello,Peter,"Shelbysaidwarmlyassheputherhandouttoshakehis."Howareyou?"

"I'mfine."

"Areyouexcitedaboutthegames?"

"Yes,butIcan'tdosomeofthem.Ihavetoperform."

ShelbylookedtoNikolai.

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"He'sdoinganactwithGreatGrandma."

"That'sfabulous!"ShelbytoldPeter."I'llbetyou'regood."

Hesmiledalittleandduckedhishead.

"Peter,thequeenjustgavemeascheduleofallthegames,andthemagicactisn'tforalittlewhileyet.Canyoucomeandmeetmyparentsandmybrother?"

"They'rehere?"

"Yes.Theyjustarrived."

"Dotheylivehere?"

"No.TheyliveinHenley,butthey'regoingtovisitmefortheweekend."

"Igettostaytoo."

"Withthequeenmother?"

Peternodded.

"Didyoubringsomeofyourfamilywithyou?"

Nikolaiheldhisbreathonthisquestion,butPeterjustshookhishead.

"Theycan'tcome."

"You'llhavetotellthemeverythingyoudid.Youcanevenhaveyourpicturetaken and take it home." Shelby saw the look on his face but went on as ifeverythingwas normal. "In fact, I hope you'll have at least one picture takenwithme."

"Wecandothat?"

"Yes!You'llwantpicturesofthemagicacttoo."

Peternodded,alittledumbfoundedbyallshewasoffering.

"Comeon.Myfolksareoverhere,andthenyou'llneedtomeetthekingandqueen."

Nikolai followedalong, a smileonhis face. Itwasgood toknowhewasn'talone. There was something very vulnerable and yet appealing about PeterOwens.Nikolaididn'tknowifhewastoplayamajorpartintheboy'slifeornot,butitwasgoodtoseeShelbyjustastakenwithhimashewas.

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Her familywasnodifferent.Theyall questionedPeter abouthismagic anddelightedintheseriouslittlewayheexplainedhimself.WhenBricedecidedtogetalittleclosertowheretheyweresettingupthefoodtablesandinvitedPetertogowithhim,ShelbytookanopportunitytospeaktoNikolai.

"Whoishe,Nick?"Hereyessearchedhisinappeal.

"He'sToby'sneighbor.Hismotherdesertedallofthemwhenheandhissisterswereverysmall.Hisfatherisinawheelchair;hewasinjuredatwork.Theyhavethemoneyfromthesettlement,buthe'saverybitterman.Peter'sworldisaverycheerlessplace."

"Howoldarethesisters?"

"Botholder.One isoutof thehouse,andshe'sevenwilling to takePeter tolivewithher,butthefatherwon'tallowit."

Shelbynodded,herfaceintent.

"Don't let it ruin your day, Shelby. It's a step ahead that Mr. Owens evenallowedPetertocomefortheweekend.Justpraywiththerestofus."

"I'lldothat."

Tenminuteslaterthewhistleblewandthegamesbegan.ShelbydidprayforPeterwhenevershesawhim,andasshehopedwouldbethecase,themagicactwasthehighlightofthemorning.

NikolaiandShelbyoptedforoneoftheblankets.Theyhadbeenheldupforafewminutesinside,andthebleachersandchairswereprettyfullbythetimetheycameoutfortheconcert.Thestaffhadspreadthickquiltsonthelawn,andthe

princeandprincesssatdownasunobtrusivelyaspossible.Theyweretowardthebackofthecrowd,andalthoughthemusichadstarted,Nikolaiwantedtospeaktohiswifewhiletheyhadasemblanceofprivacy.

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"Have you had a good day?" Nikolai whispered. His chest was close toShelby'sback,onehandstretchedouttosupporthim.Shelbyturnedtofindhisfaceveryclose.

"Yes.Howaboutyou?"

"Very.It'sbeenruntoseethefairthroughyoureyes."

Shelby'sbrowlowered."I'mnotsureIknowwhatyoumean."

"I probably take parts of this for granted, but you've never seen mygrandmotherperformorhadthepleasureofcheeringatthefinishline.Yourfaceremindsmehowspecialthisis."

Thefacehespokeofwentabrightpinkwithinseconds.Nikolaistudieditforseveralheartbeats.

"Isyourskinassoftasitlooks?"

"Idon'tknow,"Shelbysaidwithanervouslaugh.

Nikolaitookabreathandplungedintonewterritory."Areyouafraidformetofindout?"

Shelby's own breath became labored. All she could do was nod in theaffirmative.

AswasbecomingawonderfulpracticeforNikolai,heleanedandkissedhercheek.

"Don'tgiveitanotherthought"hesaidsoftly.

Shelbylookedintohiseyes,andNikolaijustsmiledather.Sheturnedbacktothesingersupfront.Theirsongsandvoiceswerewonderful,butittookalittletimetodoasherhusbanddirected.NotgivingsomeonelikeNikolaiMarkhamanotherthoughtwasnowherenearaseasyasitsounded.

"Howareyou?"Dariaaskedherdaughterrightafterlunchthenextday.Theyhad gone to services-Shelby had signed the sermon-and enjoyed Sundaydinnerafterward. The tug-of-war was not scheduled for two more hours, somotheranddaughter

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slippedintotheparkforawalk.Theydidn'tgetfar.Thefirstbenchlookedveryinviting,andtheyoptedtosit.

"IthinkI'mallright.Istheresomereasonyouasked?"

"Yes.Notbecauseofyou,butbecauseofNick.He'sdifferenttowardyou."

Shelbynodded."I'mstartingtonoticethat.Whatdoyouthinkitmeans?"

"Thathe'sstartingtocare,attheleast."

"Whatdoyoumean'attheleast'?"

"Maybehe'sstartingtoloveyou,Shelby."

Shelbyshookherhead."Idon'tthinkso,Mother.Ireallydon't."

Dariadidn'ttrytoarguewithherbutsimplyasked,"Areyoureadyforwhat'sahead?"

Daughterlookedatmother."Youmeanintimacy?"

"That'sexactlywhatImean."

"Notrightnow,"Shelbyansweredhonestly,"butthenI'mnotconvincedwe'retothatpoint."

"Areyouhappy,Shelby?"

"Mostofthetime.You'vealwaystoldmethatjoyisachoice,andIhavethat,butthisjobhasitslonelymoments."

"Soitstillfeelslikeajobtoyou?"

"Yes,"Shelbyansweredwithouthesitation."I'mopenforchanges,but Istillfeel thatmy heartwould be intact if I had to leave here. I'm not planning on

leaving-IknowIneverwill-butIwouldn'tbebrokenhearted.That's thetypeofthingIaskmyself,justtoseewhereIstand."

"Sinceyoudon't feelNick lovesyou, it'sprobablyeasieronyourheart thatyoudon'tlovehim."

"Ithinkyoumustberight,butImightbemorewillingtogiveofmyselftomyspouseifIdidlovehimalready."

The words were nomore out of Shelby's mouth than she thought,Or ant Iafraidofbeinginlovealone?

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NotforthefirsttimeDariaParkerthoughtherdaughterthemostpreciousintheworld.Shewasnota selfless, sinless individual,but shewas inverygoodpractice of puttingothers aheadof herself. Indeed,Daria remembered that thefirst versesShelby learned after salvationwerePhilippians 2:3,4: "Donothingoutofselfishambitionorvainconceit,butinhumilityconsiderothersbetterthanyourselves.Eachofyoushouldlooknotonlytoyourowninterests,butalsototheinterestsofothers."

"MayIaskyouaverypersonalquestion,Mother?"

"Yes?

"IsFaeverinterestedinyou,youknow,inthatway,andyou'renotinterestedrightthen?"

Dariasmiled."Yes."

Shelbynodded,herfacegettingwarm.

"Don'tyouwanttoaskmewhatIdo?"

"Iwantto,yes,butIfeelasthoughI'vepriedenough."

"Goaheadandaskme."

"Whatdoyoudo?"

"If I'm tired, I simply tell him, and we plan another time. If not, I get

interestedassoonasIcan.IfIfeelirritated,Iseethatassin,confessit,andworktogivemyself tomyhusbandselflessly.Notaneasy taskat times,butalwaysworthit."

Shelbynodded,herfacestillabitpink.

"I hopeyouknow that he's going to fall for you,"Daria said suddenly, stillstudyingShelby'sface.

Shelbyonlylookedather.

"DoyouknowhowIknow?"

"No."

"Anymanwho'sdelightedwhenhiswifeblusheswillkeep findingways tomakeithappen.He'llhavetogetcloserandclosertodothat."

Shelby'seyesclosed.

"Ifrightenedyou,didn'tI?"

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"Yes.Forsomanyweeksheavoidedmeandevenapologizedforit.Nowhe'sgettingintomyworld,andI'mscaredtodeath."

"Haveyoutriedgettingintohisworld?"

Shelby looked pained. "With his family, but not with him. I never want toupsethimormentionYvette,soIkeepmymouthshutandhopehe'lltalk."

"Doeshe?"

"No.Heonlyasksaboutme."

"You'regoingtohavetoasksomequestions,dear.Idon'tknowhowelseyoucanshowhimyoucare."

"Justthethoughtmakesmyheartfeellikeastoneinmychest."

"You'llfindaway,"Dariaspokewithconfidence.

Shelbyhuggedhermother."Thankyou,"shesaidsoftly.

"Anytime,"Dariasaid,meaningitwithallherheart.

Themarvelousfunofthetug-of-war,theearlydinnerSundayevening,andtheawardsceremonyonMonday,alllingeredinShelby'sthoughtsfortherestoftheweek,butherhusbandhadbeencorrect.All too soon she foundherself at thePalaceFair,whichwassetupunderhugetentsbytheriver,andworkinghardtodoherpart.

"Now,Toby,"shesaidsternlytothemanwhoseinterventionhadbroughtherto thisplace,"I'vehandedout ticketsandhelpedwith theponyrides. Iwantarealjobthistime."

"Theothershavebeenpretend?"heteasedher.

"You knowwhat Imean. Iwant towork hard and feel that I contributed. IalmostwonderifNikolaicameandtoldyoutotakeiteasyonme."

"Actuallyitwastheking;Nikolaiwasrightbehindhim."

Shelby'smouthswungopen."Areyouserious?"

Tobygrinnedashenodded,andShelby'seyesnarrowed.

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"Iwon'tneedyoutogivemeajob;I'llfindoneofmyown."

"Now,Shelby-"Tobybegan.

"I mean it," she said sternly. "If anyone wants to know where I am,I'mworking'."

Tobyopenedhismouth,butshe'dalready turnedaway.Hemoved to followher, intent on seeing where she went, but he lost sight of her when anotherworkerinterruptedhim.Bythetimehelookedforheragain,shewasnowheretobeseen.

"Youmissedaspot," theyoungmanworkingwithShelby teased,handingapiepanbacktoher.

"Where?"ShesquintedashepointedtoaminusculepieceoffoodthatShelbyflickedoffwithherfinger.

Seventeen-year-old Luke Grant, one of the queen's nephews, grinnedunrepentantlyather.

"You'repickierthananoldwoman,Luke."

"Well,wecan'tputthesepansbackunlessthey'reclean."

Shelbymadeafaceathim.

TheprincessandLukewereworkinginthepots-and-panstent.Hugetubsofhot,soapywaterhadbeensetup,andtheyweretakingturnswashinganddryingthe pots, and emptying and refilling the tubswith clean soap and rinsewater.Shelby'sbackwasscreamingather,andherarmswerestartingtofeellikewetnoodles,butdoggedlyshekepton.Shehadwantedajobandfoundone.Luke'solderbrotherAndrewhadbeenondishdetailwiththem,buthehadbeenneededelsewhere.

ThePalaceFairwassetupdifferentlythantheKing'sFair:Thisfairwaslessscheduled.Thepalacestaffandtheirfamilieswereabletoeatalldaylong.Forthisreasonthepotsandpansneverstopped.Someweren'tsolarge,likethepiepans,butthe

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boilerstheyusedforthecornandhotdogswerehuge.Nevertheless,shedidnotcomplain.

The daywaswearing onwhenAndrew came backwith food for them andtheytookafewminutestoeat.ShelbyhadjuststartedonanothertubfuloflargepotswhenNikolaifoundher.

"Iwonderedwhereyou'dgone,"hesaidmildly,reachingforthepotshewastryingtohandtoLuke.

"Icandothis,"shetoldhim.

"I can see that" he responded, his voice again deceptively mild. Her faceshowedthatshewastired,andherarmsshookassheliftedthepot.Noonehadmeanttobabyher,buthecouldseethatshe'dmisunderstoodToby'swords.WhathisfatherhadaskedofTobywasthatShelbybeinaplaceofhighvisibility.Thechildrenalllovedher,andsodidthestaffmembersfromallfourquadrants.In

thepots-and-panstentshehadn'tseenanyonebutLukeandAndrewallday.

Theprincehadbeenevadingthequestionastoherwhereaboutsforhours.Itdidn't lookgoodtohavehimshruginignorance.Thestaffwassupposedtobetaking thedayoff. If they thought theprincesswasmissing, itwouldhaveputsomeinastateofanxiety,she'sworkinghardaroundheresomewhere"hadbeenhisreply,butallthetimehehadwonderedwhereshecouldbe.

"I'llhelpyoudry,Luke,"Nikolaioffered,pickingupatowel.

"Actually,"Lukeresponded,settinghisdown,"it'smyturntowash."

"Okay,"Shelbysaid,tellingherselfnottolookatNikolai.Ifhewastookindtoherrightnow,orforthatmatterscoldedher,shewasgoingtooverreact.Shewasgetting tired, and therewasnothing like fatigue inShelby tobringon thetears.ShedidnoticethatNikolaiwastakingthelargestpotstodry.Sheshouldhaveignoredit,butshedidn't.

"Haveyoubeenworkinghardallday?"sheasked.

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"IthinkIhave,yes."

"Thenwhydoyoutakeallthelargepots?YoumustbejustastiredasIam."

Luke turned completely away from the soapy water to watch thisconversation.Helovedhisoldercousinbutnevermissedanopportunitytoteasehim.

"Well,"Nikolaibegan,hisgaze taking inbothhiswifeandcousin, thinkinganything hemight say to hiswife right nowwould be takenwrong. "I'm justtryingtobechivalrous,"heblurted,thinkinghe'dhadamomentofgenius.

Shelbydidnotlookconvinced.

"Icandothis,"sherepeated.

Nikolaifeltitwassafetonod.Eventhatgothimfrownedat.HelookedovertofindLukegrinningathimandhadallhecoulddonottolaugh.HewasstillworkingsteadilywhenShelbypickedupastackofpiepansandtookthemtothecleantable.

"Hasshebeeninhereallday?"Nikolaiwhispered.

"Sinceabouttenthismorning."

Shelbywas on her way back, so Nikolai gave a surreptitious glance at hiswatch, glad to see they had less than an hour to go. The fair ended in tenminutes,andcleanupnevertookthatlong.

"Didyoutwogetsomedinner?"heaskedconversationally.

"Andybroughtussome."ThiscamefromLuke.

"Itwasdelicious,"Shelbyadded."Whodidthecookingfordinner?"

"I think Luke's parents were in that tent," Nikolai filled in. "Toby and mygrandfatherhelpedaswell."

"Don'tforgetthequeen,"Lukeadded."Shealwaysdoesdessert."

Itwasthelastwordanyonesaidforawhile.FatiguewasbeginningtogrindonaSiofthem,andwhenthelastofthemesswasclearedaway,everyonewasout of words. The next day after church the royal familywould get together,preparetheirown

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meal,andtalkaboutthefair;butfortonight,everyoneheadedhomeassoonaspossible.

Becausethestaffwasoff,NikolaiandShelbytookhercar.Nikolaididn'tevenask Shelby if she had a preference.He took the keys from her hand, saw hersafelyintothepassenger'sseat,anddrovethemhome.Heletheroffatthefrontdoorandtookthecararound.

Bythetimehegotupstairs,shewasnowheretobeseen.Heknockedonherdoorbuttherewasnoanswer.Riskingembarrassmentforbothofthem,Nikolaiwent in.The roomwasdim, butShelby could still be seen.Shehad lain facedownonthebed,notbotheringtoremoveanythingorcoverherself.

Nikolaiapproached.HeputhishandonShelby'sshoulderandevensaidhername,butshedidn't stir.Moving to the footof thebed,he removedhershoesand socks. Themoment he did this, she turned on her side, curled into a ball

around the other pillow on the bed, and slept on. Nikolai took a blanket andcoveredher.

Whentheblanketwastuckedclosearoundher,Nikolaistoodlookingdownather.Hewas gaining small glimpses into her personality, but therewas still somuch that was unexplained. Even her need towork hard that day and not begiven preferential treatment was a mystery to him. She was always a hardworker,andhehadahardtimeseeingwhyshe'dbeensotense.

After a timeNikolai used the door that joined their rooms, slipping quietlyawaytolethersleep.Longafterhe'dshoweredandclimbedintobed,hecouldstill see her in hismind, curled peacefully around that pillow, and hewishedshe'dbeenholdinghiminstead.

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AweekafterthePalaceFair,Shelbystoodalone,lickedherlips,andrubbedher sweatingpalms together.Shehadn't been invited to thispark,but shewashere.NikolaihadbeenaskedbyRyan toparticipate inapickupgameof fieldhockey. Nikolai had made a point of telling Shelby where he was going butdidn'tinviteher.Shehadsatforalongtimeafterheleft,tryingtofigureoutifhewanted her to join himor not. In the end she had opted to go.Nowher eyesscanned the fieldat thecitypark, lookingforsigns thatotherwiveshadcomealongandquiteunawarethatshehadbeenspotted.

"Wellnow,"RyansaidtoNikolaifromtheirplaceonthesidelines."Didyoujustsayyouweren'tsurehowitwasgoing?"

"Yes."

"Ifredhairisanyindication,Ithinkthingsmightbelookingup."

NikolaifollowedRyan'sgazeacrossthefieldandsmiled.Shelbywasmakingherwayslowlytowardthefield.Shelookedlostanduncertain,evenwhenshespottedNikolaiapproaching.

"Nikolai,youcantellmeifIshouldn'thavecomeandI'llgorighthome."

Nikolairealizedtherehadbeenno"Hello"or"Howisthegamegoing?"-justimmediatepanicoverwhetherornotshewaswanted.

"I'mgladyoudid.Iwasn'tsureifyouhadtime."

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Shelbynodded,lookingrelieved.Eveniftherewerenootherwives,shewasnotintruding.

"ComeoverandseeRyan."

"Hello,Shelby,"Ryangreetedher."Bethwillbesorryshedidn'tcome."

"Oh,tellherIsaidhello."

"I'lldoit.Feelfreetositonthebench.We'llbeheadedbackintothegamethenextquarter.

"Thankyou."

Shelbyturnedtothefieldandwatchedtheplayersinaction.Thequarterbreakcame faster than sheanticipated, and inno timeat all shewaswatchingRyanandNikolaiplay.Theymovedwell together and their teamevenpulledaheadbeforethehalf.

Shelbyhadtakenaseatonthebenchtowatch,andNikolaijoinedherassoonashewasable.

"BricewasherewhenIarrived."

"Washereally?"

"Yes.Heandsomeguyswereskatingthetrails."

"Icanbelievethat.He'stheonewhogotmestarted."

"He'sstrongontheskates.Actually,he'sstrong,period.It'snotasurprisetomethatwewonthetug-of-war."

"DoyoureallythinkBricemadethedifference?"

"Yes,Ido."

Shelby looked very pleased but still said, "Do you still think he's uncertainaboutyou?"

"As amatter of fact, I don't. Now his sister..." Nikolai drew theword out."She'sanotherstory."

Shelbylookedathisteasingeyesandtoldherselfnottoblush.ItwasarelieftohaveRyanjointhem,ifonlylongenoughtotellNikolaithathehadtoruntohiscar.

Whathappenednextwashardtorecountlater.Shelbyonlyknewtherewasnowarning.Nikolaiwasansweringaquestionshehadabouttheparkwhenaballflewrightathim.Hisheadwas

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thrown to the side a little, and for an instant Shelby didn't know whathappened.

"IthinkI'llliedown,"Nikolaisaidinastrangevoice.Reachingforhisrighttemple,heslidoffthebenchunconscious.Shelbywasonherkneesbesidehiminaflash.

"Nicky!"Sheputherhandsoneithersideofhisfaceandleanedclose."Nicky,canyouhearme?"

Ryanseemedtocomeoutofnowhereanddroppedtohiskneesaswell.

"Nick!"

"Nicky,"Shelbytriedagain,herhandsmovingonhisface.

Hislidsflutteredforasecondandthenopened.Thingswereblurry,buttherewas no missing Shelby's concerned face so near his own. She continued tosmoothhishairbackandevenlaidhercheekagainsthisforamoment.

"Canyouhearme?"

"Yes.DidIgethit!"

"Itmusthavebeenaball.Ididn'treallyseeit."

"Sorry,Nick,"avoicesaidfromabovethem."Itwasmyshot."

"Whoisthat?Tom?"

"Yeah."

"Youalwayswereawildone,"Nikolaijokedashesatup.

Shelbyremainednexttohim,herhandsstilltryingtoholdhisface.Helookedoverather.

"I'mallright."

"Youwereknockedout."

Nikolai'sgrinwaslopsided."It'snotthefirsttime."

Shelbystillleanedclose,herhandsframinghisfaceforamoment.

"Doyouhaveaheadache?"

"Yes.IthinkI'lljustheadhome."

"Here,buddy,"Ryanoffered,bendingoverhim."Letmehelpyouup."

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Nikolaididn'tsomuchasswaywhenhecametohisfeet,butShelbywasstillshaken. Both Ivan and Kris had come in very close, their eyes glued to theprince.

"CanIgetyousomething?"ThisoffercamefromTom.

"No,thanks,Tom.I'llbeallrightafterafewaspirin."

RyangatheredNikolai'sgearandwalkedwiththemtothecar.IvanandKrisweretheclosestShelbyhadeverseenthem,andthisgavehermorealarm.Shehad been driven by Hank, but she climbed into Nikolai's day limo, her eyesgoingtohisface.

"Nicky,maybeweshouldcallthedoctor."

Hetookherhand."I'mokay,Red."

Shelbylookedintohiseyesandshookherhead.

"Ijustneedtogohome,"hereassuredherasheslouchedalittleandlaidhisheadbackagainsttheseat.

ShelbywaitedonlyuntilIvanwasbehindthewheel.

"Gotothehospital."

IvanlookedatNikolai,whoseheadhadcomeawayfromtheseat.

"Now,Ivan,"Shelbyorderedinatonehe'dneverheard.EvenNikolaiblinked.

"Shelby-"Nikolaibegan.

"We're going to the hospital," she stated, her eyes straight ahead as shebroughthishandintoherlapandhelditwithbothofhers.

Ivan did as hewas told, pleasingShelbywith how swiftly hemoved.Theywere pulling into the parking lot outside the emergency room in a matter ofminutes.

Nikolai'sheadwaspounding,andhewantednothingmorethanto liedown,butheclimbedoutof thecarandstarted inside.Whathewasnotgoing todowasarguewithhiswife,soheallowedShelbytoseehimtoachairbutknewthedoctorwouldsayhewasfine.

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"Mildconcussion"thedoctorsaidaboutanhourlater."Nothingtopanicover,butyouneed to take it slowfora fewdays-nofieldhockey-and ifyourvisionshouldbecomeblurryoryouhaveintensepain,comerightbackin."

"Isitallrightifhesleeps?"

"Yes. He shouldn't head off anywhere alone for a few days, but just usingcommonsenseandnotoverdoingwilldothetrick."

"Thankyou"Nikolaisaidrespectfullyasthedoctortookhisleave.Helookedto his wife. He thought she would be pleased, but she looked even moreconcerned.

"Youheardthedoctor,Red.I'mfine."

"I heard him say you have to take it easy. I'm wondering how busy yourscheduleisnextweek."

"Idon'thaveanymorefieldhockeyscheduled."

"You'renotgoingtohavealotofthingsscheduled."

Nikolaifrownedather,andShelbyfrownedrightback.

Theywereratherquietonthewayhome.Shelbywasnotsureifhewastellingherthewholetruth,andNikolaijustwantedtosleep,somethinghedidassoonashe'dshowered.Hehaddinnerinhisroom,ashewasinnomoodtoconverse,andwenttobedearly.

Not knowing if shewas neededor not, Shelby paced in her room.She hadaskedMurdock if he'd checked on the prince, and he had, but not talking toNikolaiwasmostunsettling.Thathehadn'twantedtotalktoherwasclear,butShelbystillfeltthey'ddonetherightthingingoingtothehospital.

Feelingatacompleteloss,Shelbytookherself tobedata latehourbutwasawakeby twowithNikolaionhermind.Genuinelyconcernedforhiswelfare,sheknewshewouldn'tsleepagainifshedidn'tcheckonhim,soshegrabbedherrobe and went out to knock on his door. There was no answer, and Shelbybecamealarmed.Sheeasedthedooropenandsteppedin.

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Alightwasoninthebathroom,andforthefirsttimeShelbywassorrytheydidnothaveamoreintimaterelationship.Thelast thinghewouldwantwouldbe tocomefromthebathroomandfindher there,but ifheneededsomething,shewantedtogetitforhim.Asitwas,ShelbytooksolonginfiguringthisoutthatNikolaicamefromthebathroomandfoundherstandinginhisbedroom.

"Areyouallright,Shelby?"

"That'swhatI'mtryingtofindoutaboutyou."

"I'mfine.Ijusttooksomemoreaspirin."

"Yourheadstillhurts?"

"Alittle."

Anxiousandupset,Shelbytwistedthefrontofherrobe,notsurewhattodo.

Nikolaimovedtothebed."Cometalktome,"hesaidasheclimbedbeneaththecovers.

Shelbyhesitatedbutwentforward.Nikolaiscootedtowardthemiddleofthemattresssoshewouldhaveroomtosit.Shedidso,perchingsoclosetotheedgethatshewashalfoff.

"Youusuallydon'twakeinthenight,doyou?"

"No,butIwasworriedaboutyou."

"Whywereyouworried?"

Shelbyhesitatedforseveralsecondsandwasstartledwhenadimlightcameonabovethebed.Whenhereyesadjusted,shefoundNikolaistillwatchingherinquestion.Herchincameupabitbeforesheanswered.

"IguessIwasworriedforthesamereasonyoucametothepots-and-panstent,sawmytiredface,andtriedtohelpoutwithoutbeingtooobvious."

Nikolai's eyes filled with understanding as he nodded. For several minutestheysatinsilence,Shelby'seyesinherlap,Nikolai'seyesonShelby.

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"Tellmesomething,Shelby,"Nikolai said,waiting forher to raisehereyes."Doyouthinkyoucouldbeintimatewithyourhusband,evenifyoudidn'tlovehim?"

"I'mnotsurethat'stheissue,Nick."Shelbyhadnothesitatedatall.

"Whatis?"

"Couldyoubeintimatewithmewhenyou'reinlovewithsomeoneelse?"

Therewasabriefsilencethistime.

"I'm committed to this marriage, Shelby,"he saidfinally. "AndI do care foryou.Verymuch.Iwouldalsolikeforustohavechildren."

Shelby swallowed. "Are you thinking of something right now or in thefuture?"

"Ifyoumeanrightnow,asinthisinstant,no,notnow,butIwouldlikeyoutoconsiderachangeinthatpartofourrelationship.Iwouldwantyoutofeelreadyandsafe, so this isnot intended topressyou toosoon,butyou'renotgoing toknowwhatIwantunlessItellyou."

"Andyouwantintimacybetweenus?"

"Yes."

Shelbynodded,lookingmoreserenethanshefelt.

"IthinkI'dbettergetbacktosleepnow,"Nikolaisaid,seeingthatsheneededtoberescued.

"IsthereanythingIcangetyou?"

"No,butthankyouforcheckingonme."

Shelbystood."Goodnight,Nick."

"Goodnight,Shelby."

Nikolaiwasnotcertainheshould lethergowith thingssounsettled,buthehad no ideawhat the next step looked like. At least Vie had been telling thetruth;heneededtogobacktosleep.Notlongaftershelefthedidexactlythat,allthewhileprayingthattheywouldbothknowwhattodo.

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Shelbywasnot insuchgoodshape.Shelayfor thenexthour tryingtoprayand thinking aboutwhat her husbandhad asked.Without his having to say it,Shelby believedNikolai hadleftthe nextmove up to her. Shelby found herselfwishingshecouldturnbackthehandsoftime.Ifshecould,shewasn'tsureshewouldhavegonetoNikolai'sroomatall.

"Somethingoccurred tome thismorning,"Nikolai beganwithout preamble.Theyhadn'thadmuchtimealoneonSunday-Nikolaihaddonealotofresting.NowitwasMonday,andtheprincewasraringtogo.

"What'sthat?"Shelbyasked,openingherdoorabitwidersohecouldcomein.

"Intimacywith someoneyoudon'tknowwouldbeveryuncomfortable, so Iwantyoutogettoknowme.Askmeanythingyoulike."

Shelbyblinked."Allright,"shesaidslowlybutthencametoahalt;hermindwastotallyblank.

"Whatareyougoingtodotoday?"Nickvolunteered.

"Oh,right!"Shelookedrelieved."Whatareyougoingtodotoday,Nick?"

Nikolaismiled."Iwasn'tprimingyou,Shelby.Ihonestlywanttoknowwhatyou'redoingtoday."

Shelbydidn'teventrytospeak;shejustlookedawayinembarrassment.

"Doyouhaveabusyschedule?"Nikolaitriedagain.

"Asamatteroffact,]don't,"shesaidsoftly,hereyesstillonthefloor."Iwasgoingtogoshopping."

"Alone?"

"Yes."

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"I'llgowithyou,"Nikolaioffered,bringingShelby'seyestohis.Hisfacewaslikethatofapuppy's-dyingtoplease.Shelbydidn'thavethehearttodenyhim.She also didn't want to. She had come to one solid conclusion in the last 24hours:Theyneededtostartactinglikeanormalcouple.Sheknewthatwasnotsomethingshecouldturnonwithaswitch,buttheyhadtostartsomewhere.

"Whattimeisgoodforyou,Nick?"

"Anytime."

"Nine-thirty?"

"Fine.Doyoudriveororderthecar?"

"WhenIwanttogoallday,1drivesoHankdoesn'thavetowait."

Nikolaisuddenlyfrowned."HowdoesKrisgettherewhenyoudriveyourself

somewhere?"

"Itvaries.I'msurehe'lldrivehimselftoday,orhe'llcomewithIvanwhenhefindsoutyou'recoming."

Andthiswasjustwhathappened.Shelbydrovetheminhercar,butveryclosebehind were their companions. The shopping plaza was quiet for a Mondaymorning, andShelby found a parking placewith ease.Once in the plaza theydrew looks from various people, and Shelby was reminded of how fewappearancestheymadeinpublicplacestogether.Shewasalsoremindedthatsheneeded to tell Nikolai something. Shelby wished it was dark to cover herblushingface,butdeterminingtokeephereyesforward,sheplungedin.

"There'ssomethingIneedtotellyou,Nick."

"AHright.Doyouwanttositdown?"

"No,thatwouldonlymakeitmoredifficult."

Nikolainodded,asmallsmilecomingtohismouth.

"I'mgoingtoshopoffmylisttoday,justlikeIplanned,evenifIblush."

"That's fine."Nikolai enjoyed her profile for amoment. "I, um, take it youhavesomepersonalitemstoshopfor?"

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Hadhenotbeenlookingatherhewouldn'thaveseenherbriefnod.Thistakencare of, Shelby led the way into Bergdorf's and straight to the lingeriedepartment.Sheaddressedherspousewithoutlookingathimatall.

"I'llmeetyoubackhereinaboutanhour.Isthatallright?"

"Yes,"hesaidsoftly.

Shestartedtomoveaway,buthecalledhername.Heremainedsilentuntilshelookedathim.

"Thankyou,"hesimplysaid.

"Forwhat?"

"Forshoppingoffyourlist."

Shelby nodded and moved on her way. Nikolai turned toward the men'sdepartment,allthetimewonderingifshehadanyideahowkissableshewas.

"Areyougoingtotryiton?"Nikolaiaskedashetookinthecurly,strawberryblondewigthatwasdisplayedonthecounter.

"I'mtempted."

Withthat,Nikolaisatdownononeofthestoolsasifhehadallthetimeintheworld.

"Tryiton."

"PrincessShelby,"thewomanbehindthecountergreetedasshecameovertothem."Goodmorning."

"Hello,Julie,"Shelbysmiled.

"Stillthinkingaboutthecurls?"

Shelbylaughed.

"Iwanthertotryiton,"Nikolaispokeup.

"Ofcourse.Comeonback,andwe'llgetyouallset.CanIgelyouacupofcoffeeorsomethingelse,PrinceNikolai?"

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"No,thankyou.I'lljustsithereandrelax."

"You'llhavetocomebackinwhenIcallyou,"Shelbysuddenlysaidsoftly.

"What was that?" Nikolai missed the words and leaned close as she wasdoing.

"Ican'tcomeouthereinawig"shesaidinadesperatewhisper."You'llhavetocomebacktothechangingroomdoor,okay?"

"Okay.JustsendJulie.Wasthathername?"

Shelbynoddedandmovedoff.Juliehadalreadypickedupthewigandtaken

itback.

About15minutespassedbeforeNikolaiheardhisname.Hesetthenewspaperhe'dfoundasideandheadedtowardthedoor.Juliestoodofftoonesideandtheprincess,alreadyabrightpink,waitedjustoutofsight.Nikolaisteppedaroundthecorner,tookonelookather,andsmiledhugely.

"She'lltakeit,"hetoldJuliebeforesteppingclosetoShelby.

Julietookhercueandexited.

"Yourladiesaregoingtolovethis."

"Idon'tknow."

"Trustme."

"YoutoldherIwouldtakeit."

"Becauseyoushould.It'sperfect."

"Ilooklikethatlittlecartooncharacterwiththebigeyes."

Nikolailaughedbutstillsaid,"Takethishome."

"Areyousure?"

"Yes.Ifyouwanttogiveittome,I'llpurchaseit.Assoonasyou'reready,I'lltakeyoutolunch."

Shelbypulled thewig fromherheadandhanded it tohim.Without lookingbacksheslippedbacktothedressingroomtofixherhair.Bythetimeshecameout,thewigwasinaboxandNikolaiwaswaiting.Shelbyhadlittleappetitebutaccompanied

190191

herhusbandtolunchanyway.Itwastimetoasksomequestions,andshewasgoingtomakeherselfstartnow.

"Nick,may[askyouaquestion?"

"Yes,anything."

"Youseemtobehomealotrightnow.Isthisaslowtimeofyearforyou?"

"No.ItseemsslowertoyoubecauseIwassodeliberatelybusyrightafterweweremarried,butthemainreasonyou'reseeingmoreofmeisbecauseI'vecutbackonmyengagements."

"Canyoutellmethereason?"

"You'rethereason."

Shelbystaredathim.

"Tobewithme?"shesaidatlast.

"Yes.Ourrelationshipgotoffpoorly,andI'mtryingtodowhatIshouldhavedoneweeksago."

Shelbynodded.Theydidn'ttalklikethisveryoften,andittooksomegettingusedto.Shesawhimasabusy,importantman,andhewas,sohistakingtimetobewithher felt a littleodd. Itdidn'toccur toShelby thatashiswife, shewasmoreimportantthanhiswork,andNikolaiwasjuststartingtoseethis.

"I'mgoingtoaskyouaquestionnow,Shelby.It'sanormalhusband/wifetypeofquestion."

Shelbynodded."Allright."

"Whatdidyoufindwhenyoushoppedtoday?"

Shelbyswallowedbutmanagedtoanswer."Ifoundsomepantiesandnylonsandanewnightgown.ThenIboughtthosebikeshortsIwaslookingatandtheT-shirtyouliked."

"Allright.Istheremoreonyourlist,orareyoujustgoingtobrowse?"

"IneedtofindagiftforoneofthewomeninmyBiblestudyandacardforyourgreatgrandmother'sbirthday."Shehesitated

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butthenadmitted,"IfIseesomedressesorshoesthatcatchmyeye,I'lllookatthosetoo."

"Good"wasallhesaid,andShelbyhadathought.

"Whendoyoushopforyourself,Nick?"

"IusuallywaituntilI'matthelakehouse.There'sasmallshopuptherethatcarriesalotofthingsIlike.Theyalsohavemailorder,so1takeadvantageofthat."

"Whatsizeareyou?"Shelbyaskedbeforeshethought.

Nikolailaughed."Large,Shelby,verylarge."

Thewaitresscametotaketheirorder,andShelbyfeltinstantlysorryforher.Shecouldnottakehereyesfromtheprince.Nikolaididn'tseemtonoticeintheleastandgavehisorder inakindbut impersonalmanner.Shelbycouldn'tstophercompassionatesmilewhenthewomanwalkedaway.

"What?"

"Oh,nothing."

"Thatsmiledoesn'tmeannothing,Red-nowgiveover."

Shelbyshookherhead."Iwasjusttakingpityonthewaitress.Shewasquitetakenwithyou."

Nikolaistaredatherandthenlookedinthedirectionofthekitchen.Whenhelookedback,hisfacetoldShelbythathewascompletelyatsea.

"Youdidn'tnoticethewayshestaredatyou?"

Heshookhisheadno.

"It'snicetoknowyou'renotconceited."Shelbywentaheadandsaidwhatshewasthinking.

"Aboutwhat?"

"Yourlooks."

InaninstantNikolairealizedhewantedtoknowwhatShelbythoughtofhislooksbutalsosawthataskingwouldmakehimseemfullofhimself.Hehadtolet it go, but Shelby's opinion of his looks and all else concerning his lifelingeredinhismindforalongtimeafterward.

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ThePrincess

Fifteen

Shelbywasnotcertainhowshewouldbereceivedatthecarecenter,butshewentanyway.Herchangeinproceduresmadeitdifficulttovisitunlessitwasinanofficialcapacity,butknowingthatshecouldbrightenthedayofsomeoftheresidentssentheron.Itwasn'tasbadasshemighthaveexpected.Mrs.Radford'smannerwasabitcool,butshedidgreetShelby respectfullyandeven thankedherforcoming.

Shelbyhadsomepaperstoreturntooneofthesecretaries,andfinishingthattask,shesetouttowardtherecreationhalltovisitforaboutanhour.AsShelbyhoped, Mrs. Rose was there. Mrs. Rose was from Shelby's neighborhood inHenley,andtheyoungerwomanwasalwaysgladtohearstoriesaboutwhenshewasgrowingup.Mrs.Wills,herroommate,wasalsoinattendancethisday,andthethreeofthemsettledinforavisit.

"Irememberwhenthefactorythatmakesthosebakedgoodswasbuilt,Mrs.Rosesaidwithanod."Weallwouldstandinthestreetandjustsmellthegoodiestheymade.Andwhen they had the parade duringHenley FestivalDays, theywoulddrivetrucksdownthestreetandhandoutlittlecakesandsuch."

"IcouldliveonFairyCakes,"Shelbyadmitted,andtheolderwomensmiledather.

"Howislifeatthepalace?"Mrs.Willsasked,asshealwaysdid.

"Justfine.TheprinceismeetingwiththeCouncil today,asarethekingandkingregent."

"Sowhatdoalltheladiesdoonthosedays?"

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"Well,Icameheretothecarecenter,butIhaven'ttalkedtoanyoneelse."

"Don'tyourememberwhatshetoldus,Ida?"Mrs.Roseputheroarin."Thepalace is all split up like apartments. They don't see each other unless they

purposeto."

Shelbyonlysmiled.Ifthenorthquadrantwasanapartment,itwasthelargestin theworld. She knew, however, that the best part of discretionwould be tokeepthistoherself.

"PrincessShelby,"Krissaid,suddenlyatherside."MayIseeyouamoment?"

"Ofcourse.Excuseme,ladies."

Shelbyroseandmovedtotheedgeoftheroomwithhimwithoutquestionbutfoundhisbehaviorratherconfusing.

"Whatisit,Kris?"

"Thereisafireinthekitchen."

"Oh,no."Shelbygrabbedhisarm."WhatcanIdo?"

"Whatyoucandoisleavewithmeimmediately."

"That'soutofthequestion,"shesaid,blinkinginsurprise."We'vegottohelp."

"The princewould not thankme if youwere harmed, Princess Shelby.Weneedtoleave."

"Whyaren'ttheymovingtheresidentsout?"

"Theywilliftheycan'tcontainthefire,butrightnowit'ssmall.Wemustgo."

Shelbylookedhimintheeye."We'renotleavinguntilwelearnwhat'sgoingon."

ThewordswerenomoreoutofShelby'smouththanMrs.Radfordsteppedinthedoorandblewawhistle.

"Ineedeveryone tocome into thehallwayplease."Hervoicewas raised inorder tobeheard."Ifyoucanmoveyourselves,dosoinanorderlymanner.Ifyouneedassistance,someonewillbewithyoushortly."

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Shelbywasofflikeashot.ShemadeittoMrs.Rose'ssideinamomentand

begantowheelhertothehall.

"Kris,getMrs.Wills'chair,willyouplease?"

Thathewasnothappywithherwasmorethanobvious,buthefollowedclosebehind,wheelingMrs.Wills'chairashewent.

"Goaheadandmove them to the front lawn,"Mrs.Radforddirected as shepassed,andShelbymadeabeelineforthefrontdoor.

"Shelby," Mrs. Rose said when they were outside. "I didn't want to comeoutside.It'stoocoldthesedays."

"I'llgetyouablanket."

Shelbyfoundherwristcaughtinasteelgrip.

"You'll do no such thing,"Kris commanded in a voice Shelby hadn't heardbefore.

"Kris,Imightbeneededinside,"shebegan,butheonlyshookhishead.

Withonehandheheldher,andwiththeotherhereachedforthephoneathiswaist.He could have howledwith frustrationwhen it didn'twork.He pushedseveral buttons, but the phone was dead. His next thought was to check thebatteries, something he proceeded to do. It took less than a second to see hismistake.Themomentheletgooftheprincess,sheheadedbacktothedoorofthecarecenter.Thinkinghewouldhaveplentytoanswerfor,heputthephonebackinitsholdersohishandswouldbefreeandwentafterher.

Notinalltheyearshe'dlivedinthenorthquadrantdidNikolaieverrememberMurdock coming to get him from a Council meeting. The man's face gavenothingaway-itneverdid-butNikolaicouldn'thelpbutbealarmed.

"Yes,Murdock,what is it?"Nikolai questioned as soon as theywere in thehall.

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"Ithoughtyoushouldknowthatwejustheardanewsreport.Thereisafireatthecarecenter."

"IsKriswiththeprincess?"

"Heis,butwecan'traisehimonthephone."

Nikolai thought fast. "Get word to my father, explain to him what you'veheard,andtellhimI'mheadedthere."

"I'lldoit,sir."

Nikolaimovedforthefrontdoor,thankfulforMurdock'sefficiency.Ivanwasalreadywaitingwiththecar,andamomentlaterhewasonhisway.

Itwastragicthat itsometimestookanemergencytoshowpeoplewhattheyneededtodo.Mrs.Radfordhadmeantwell,butbynotevacuatingeveryoneassoonasthefirestarted,theynowhadafull-blownpanicontheirhandsastheyrushedtheoldandinfirmtothedoors,workingastheywenttokeepeveryonecalm.

Kriswasnota lotofhelp,asallhewoulddowasshadowShelby.Shewasquiteexasperatedwithhim,butknowingwhathis jobrequired,he ignoredherfrustration.HehadonlyjuststoppedwastinghisbreathtellingShelbytocomewithhim.Whenthefiremenwouldallownooneelsein,hesimplyfollowedheras she moved about the lawn, calming fears and giving away her coat andanything else she had to make people more comfortable. This was the wayNikolaifoundher.Shewasbentoveranoldmanwhowascryingforsomethinghe'd been forced to leavebehind.Shehadno coat, vest, or shoes, but seemedotherwiseunharmed.

"Ithinkitwillbeallright,sir,"heheardhersay."Thefireisundercontrol.Idon'tthinkittouchedyourwing."

Shelbyspoketothemanforseveralminutesbeforeshenoticedherhusband.ShehadnotbeenawareofhimorhisconversationwithKrisbuthadbeenverygladtoseehim.OnNikolai's

197

part, he was so glad to see she was safe that nothing elsemattered-almostnothing.

The next two hourswere spent helping outwherever they could, butmany

people had to be transported to other facilities, and there was little the royalcouplecoulddo.WhenNikolaifinallysaiditwastimetogo,Shelbywasready.For themomentNikolai justwanted to see her safely home-something he didwithoutfuss.Hemadeacalltohisfathertoinformhimofthesituationandthenaskedhimtopray.

"Canyoubespecific?"

"Shelbysaidnotohercompanion."

"I'llpray,"themonarchpromisedjustbeforehissonrangoff.

Nikolai chose a quiet spot for his talkwith Shelby. She had showered anddressedcomfortably,andtheyhadeatenalightmeal.Nikolaithentookherhandandaskedhertojoinhimintheblueparlor,overbythewindows.Thetabletheysat at was a game table, not very wide, but sturdy and smooth in a deeprosewood.Nikolaifeltahungertotouchhiswifeandreachedforherhandsassoonasshesetthemonthetabletop.

"Iwasproudofyoutoday,"hesaidsoftly,lookingintothevelvetydepthsofher dark brown eyes. "You comforted a lot of people, and I know theyappreciatedyou."

WIdon'tfeelIdidallthatmuch.Somanypeoplewerefrightened."

Nikolainodded,weighinghisnextwords.

"You've fit into thepalace so smoothly,Shelby, that I sometimes forgetyoudidn'tgrowupintheroyalfamily."

Shelby studiedhimamoment. "I think thatmighthavebeena compliment,butIfeela'but'comingon."

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Kid

"You're right."Hewasglad she sensed it. "Shelby,youcan't sayno toyourcompanion."

Theprincessblinked."Ihadnochoice,Nikolai.Kriswantedmetoleave."

"Shelby," he said, repeating her name firmly, "you can't say no to yourcompanion."

"Ican'tlivelikethat-"shebegan,butNikolaigaveherhandsalightsqueezeandcutheroff.

"Thecompanionschosenbythecrownwerepickedwithextremecare.It'sararesituation,buttheyareheretoprotectourlives.Am1makingsensetoyou?"

"Yes,Nikolai, but I'm not a child.Unless I've been knocked unconscious, IfeelI'mabletomakejudgmentsonmyown."

Nikolaireachedupnowandverytenderlyheldherfacebetweenhishands.

"What if someonewith a vendetta against the royal family had started thatfire?I'mnotsureyourealizethatovertheyearswe'vehadmorethanourshareofPendaranswhoopposedus.Whatifyoudon'tseethesituationforwhatitisanddecideyoucanhandleitonyourown?"

"It'snotthesamething."

"Itis,Shelby."Nikolaistillmanagedtokeephisvoicelevel,buthewasreadytopullrank."I'vegivenKrisnewinstructions.Hehasmypermissiontobodilyremoveyoufromanysituationthathedeemsdangerous."

"Youcan'tbeserious,"hiswifewhispered.

"I'mvery serious.He even hasmypermission to knock you unconscious ifyoufighthim."

Shelby'smouthdroppedopen.

"Shelby,"Nikolaicutinbeforeshecouldspeak,"ChrisJobisonthelinehere,nottomentionyourlife.Hehastherighttoseeyoutosafetywhetheryoulikeitor not. If ever he acts unwisely, and it's proven that he took advantage of hisposition,he'llbe

199

dismissed,butyoursayingnotohimtodaywasveryserious.He'sjustgladhestillhasajob."

Shelby'seyeswentfromshocktolookinglikethoseofalostchild.Nikolai'sheartbrokealittle,butthiswastooserioustorelent.

"Ididn'tknow."

"Irealizethat."

"Youdidn'tfirehim,didyou?"

"No,Iunderstoodthesituationassoonasheexplainedit."Hismouthquirkedintoalopsidedsmile."Whathedescribedwasjustlikeyou.Iwouldhavebeensurprisedifyou'dhaveleftwithoutaqualm."

"Theyneededme,"Shelbysaidsoftly.

Hiseyesdrillingintohers,Nikolaisaid,"Ineedyoumore."

Shelbytookashudderingbreath."Oh,Nicky,Ihonestlydidn'trealize."

Nikolaibentoverthetableandpressedakisstoherbrow,droppinghishandsbacktohers.

"Idon'twantyoutobeatyourselfupoverthis.Ijustwantyoutobemoreawarefornexttime."

"IneedtoapologizetoKris."

"Asamatteroffact,youdon't.Hespoketomeaboutthat.Hecouldtellfromtheget-gothatyoudidn'tunderstand.Andasyou'veprobablyalreadyguessed,he'samostpatientandunderstandingfellow."

"He'scertainlyprovedthatwithme."

"Don'teverforget,Shelby,thatheloveshisjob."

Shelbysatback,feelingutterlydrained.Notevenwhensheleftthecarecenterdidshefeelsospent.

"Ithinkyouneedanearlynight."

"I think youmight be right. I never thanked you for coming. Iwas glad tolookupandseeyouthere."

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AgainNikolaismiled."Afterseeingthatyouwereallright,IhadallIcoulddonottoshoutatyouforgivingawayyourshoes."

Shelbylookedchagrined."YoushouldhaveseenthemonthefeetofthelittleoldmanIgave themto.Hisbathrobewasred,hispajamasweregray,andmyshoeswereabrightpink."

The description got Nikolai to laughing. "You gave them to an elderlygentleman?"

"Yes.Hesaidhisfeetwerecold."

Nikolailaughedforalongtime,andShelbyjustwatchedhim.Ithadnotbeeneasy tohavehim tellher that shehadbeenwrong,butwhenshe sawpast theembarrassment,shesawthisasanactofcaring.Forthisreasonandoneother,shesmiledathim.

"Whatdoesthatsmilemean?"

"Do1reallysmilesolittlethatyoumustquestionmeeachtime?"

"No, but you have different types of smiles, and that's one I haven't seenbefore."

"Well,you'llhavetogetoverit,sinceI'mnottellingyouwhatI'mthinking."

"Comeon,Red,"hecoaxed,butshewouldnotbeswayed.

Nikolai,knowingshewastiredbutwantingmoretimewithher,suggestedagame of cards. They decided on Hand and Foot and played for the next twohours. By the time Shelby went to bed she was ready to sleep, but she stillmanagedtodriftoffwithNikolaionhermind,mostspecificallyhistellingherthatheneededher.

Nowformattersyouwroteabout:Itisgoodforamannottomarry.Butsincethere is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and eachwomanherownhusband.Thehusbandshouldfulfillhismaritaldutytohiswife,and likewise thewife to her husband. Thewife's body does not belong to heralonebutalsotoher

201

husband. In thesameway thehusband'sbodydoesnotbelong tohimalonebutalsotohiswife.Donotdepriveeachotherexceptbymutualconsentandforatime,sothatyoumaydevoteyourselvestoprayer.ThencometogetheragainsothatSatanwillnottemptyoubecauseofyourlackofself-control.Isaythisasaconcession,notasacommand.1wishthatallmenwereaslam.ButeachmanhashisowngiftfromGod;onehasthisgift,anotherhasthat.

Shelby sat back after reading these verses in 1 Corinthians 7 and thoughtaboutthemforalongtime.Shehadreadthembefore,butnotsinceshe'dmarriedand certainly not since Nikolai had told her he wanted their relationship tobecomeintimate.

ItwouldseemthatNikolaiandIhaveanobligationtoeachother.Ican'tsaythatIfeeltemptedatthispoint,butmaybeit'sdifferentforNikolai.

ShelbyhadnomorefinishedsayingthistotheLordthansherealizedhowtrueitmustbe.Herhusbandhadbeenmarriedalready;heknewallaboutintimacy.Most of it was still a mystery to Shelby, but this one point was clear: Menviewedsuchthingsdifferentlythanwomen.

WhatthismeantforShelby,shewasn'tsure,butsheneededtostayopentothesubject.Shewentbacktoherreading,stillbelievingtheballwasinhercourt.

"PrinceNikolai,"Peterwhisperedsoftlyinthequietwaitingroom.

"Yes,Peter?"

"Willhedie?"

Nikolaireachedoverandputanarmaroundtheboy'sshoulders,gladthathedidn'tstiffenorpullaway.

"Idon'tknow,Peter.Thedoctorssayhe'sprettysick."

"Iwishmysisterhadbeenhome."

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"YoudidtherightthingingoingforToby.He'stalkingtothedoctor,andthenhe'lltrytocallyoursisters."

"Youcamefast,"theboysaidquietly,andNikolaisawnoneedtocomment.

Hehadcomeswiftly,though.Peterhadaskedforhim,andTobyhadcalled.Lateasitwas,Nikolaihadleftthepalacetenminuteslater.

"WoulditbeallrightifIpray,Peter?"

Theboylookedathim."Itriedthattonightforthefirsttime.Idon'tthinkHeheard."

"I was just reading my Bible this morning. Do you want to know what Iread?"

Peternodded.

"IreadthatthewaytoGodisthroughHisSon,JesusChrist.I'veknownthatforsometime,butIneedtoberemindedoftenthatI'masinner,thatIcan'tgettoGodoreventalktoHimonmyown.FirstIneedtobelieveinGod'sSon;thenIknowthatwhenIpray,Hehearsme."

"Soifyouprayrightnow,Godwillhearyou?"

"Yes."

"Willyouprayformydad?"

Nikolai pulled Peter a bit closer as he bowed his head. "Father in heaven,thankYouforPeter.ThankYouthathewantedtocallmeandthatIwasabletobe here with him. Right now, Lord, I ask You to put Your hand on Mr.Owens.He'sverysick,Lord,andIwouldaskYou,inYourwill,tohealhisbody.ButIwouldmostlyaskYoutohealhissoul.WeallsinagainstYou,Lord-Peter,myself,andMr.Owens-andYouaretheonlyOnewhocansaveusfromthosesins.Whenwe'rehurtingorinjured,Father,ourfirstthoughtisforYoutoeaseourpain.Usethispain,Lord,tomakeusmoreawareofYou."

AsharpthoughtsnappedinNikolai'sbrainasheprayedthesewords.Hewasspeaking to God, but there was also a frightened 11-year-old tuned in besidehim.

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"ThankYouthatYouJoveus,Father,andalwayswant thebestforus.TakecareofMr.OwensandPeter.Help themtoknowYoucare. InChrist'snameI

pray.Amen."

NikolailookedintoPeter'seyesandsawthathewascalm.Heevenmanagedasmallsmile.

Nikolaiwas to later remember thosefewsecondsofpeacehesawinPeter'sface.Nikolaiclungto thememorywhenTobyandthedoctorreturnednotfiveminuteslater.PeterOwens'fatherhadjustdied.

"Didyouhaveachancetospeaktothesister?"ShelbyaskedNikolaionthewayhomefromthefuneral."Doessheknowwe'rewillingtohelpher?"

"Yes.Pamisgoingtomovebackhome,becausethere'smoreroom,andherbosshasgivenhertwoweeksoffwork."

"Aretheyallrightfinancially?"

"Tobyischeckingintothat.He'sgoingtohelpbutalsobeintouchwithbothGreatGrandma andme.On top of that, I am picking Peter up next Saturdaymorningsowecanspendsometimetogether."

"WhatcanIdo?"

"Wemay endupvisiting the palace. Ifwedo, I'llwant us to do somethingnormallikeplayingcardsorbakingcookies.Ifwedon'tcomeby,youcanjustkeepprayingthathe'llstayopentome,aswillhissisters."

Shelbydidkeeppraying.Thiswasn'thardtodo,asPeterwasonhermindforthe rest of the day. Shewas greatly encouragedwhenToby called to say thatPeterandbothhissistershadbeeninchurchonSunday.

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Nikolaihadhonestlynotknownsheplanned togolf,butoncehe'd seenhercar, he was not going to leave the country club. He had been there only topersonallydeliversomepapers toCouncilmanRoyden,butashadbecome thenorm,heonceagainhadtimetostickaround.

RightafterPeter'sdaddied,hehadbeenoncallquiteoften.ThingswerestillgoingwellwithPeterbuthadsloweddown.Nikolainowhadtimetocourthiswifeagain.

It had been more than six weeks since he had spoken with Shelby in themiddle of the night, but the subject hadn't resurfaced. The events of that pastmonthhadnotbeenmuchhelp,butNikolaicouldn'thelpbutwonderifshehadgivenanymorethoughttotheconversation.

"Well,Nikolai,"CouncilmanRoydencalledasNikolaiworkedhiswaypasttheclubhouserestaurant."Ithoughtyouwereleaving."

"Changeofplans,"Nikolaisaid.

TheCouncilmansmiled."Shewentthatway."

Nikolaionlygrinnedatbeingdiscoveredbeforeheheadedout the indicateddoor. He wasn't long in spotting his wife.She was walking with two otherwomen, all three pulling wheeled golf carts.Nikolai strode purposely towardthemandknewtheexactmomentShelbyspottedhim.Shestoppedinsurprise,andtheotherwomenhaltedwithherandfollowedhergaze.

"Hello,"Nikolaisaidjovially."Needafourth?"

"No,"sheansweredquietly."Wehavefour."

"Oh."Nikolaiwasmomentarilydefeated."I'llcaddie,"heoffered,recoveringswiftly.

Shelby's eyes grew huge. "There is no need," she said, barely keeping hervoicecalm."Reallythereisn't."

"Idon'tmind."Hegrinnedlikeaschoolboyandreachedforthehandleofhercart.Withhisfreehandheshookhandswiththetwootherladies,bothofwhomhe'dknownforyears.Justafter

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this,theywerejoinedbythefourthinthepart)',awomanwhoalsoknewtheprinceandwhosesmilematchedthoseofthefirsttwowomen.

"Goahead,"Shelbysaidwhengreetingshadbeenexchangedallaround."I'llbe right along." Shelbywaved and smiled as if allwas fine. "Don't you havesomethingelsetodo,Nick?"sheaskedpointedly.

"Notforatleastfourhours.Isn'titnicethatIsawyou?"

Shelby'slookwastelling."SonicethatIcouldpinchyou,"shemuttered.

"Feel free,"Nikolai saidquietly,asmile lightinghiseyesashiswife turnedaway."ButImightpinchback."

"Enjoyit,Shelby,"Vickeysaidonthethirteenthgreen."Mostwomenwouldkilltohavesuchanattentivehusband."

"Idon'tknowwhat'scomeoverhim."

"Hecertainlyseemstobeenjoyinghimself."

At this point Shelby had to smile. It was very clear that PrinceNikolaiwasenjoying himself. For all of his huge size, he would study thefairwayslikeanearnestchildandthensolemnlyhandShelbyaclub,practicallyhuggingherwhenshedidwell.

Theotherthreewomen,allcouncilmen'swives,lookedoninclearenjoymentastheprince'seyesfollowedShelby'severymove.

Theyplayedthefull18holes.Shelbywasbemusedformostofthetime,untilsherememberedthatNikolaihadbeenmovingclosertoherbeforeMr.Owens'death. All she could thinkwas that hemust bemaking up for lost time. Shedidn'tknowifshewasflatteredorintimidated.

"Thankyou,Nick,"shesaidasthewomenfinishedandpreparedtoeatlunch.Thetwohadamomentalone.

"You'rewelcome.Youplayedwell."

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Shelbysmiledalittle.

"MaybesometimeyouandIcouldgolftogether."

Shelbyhadneverseenhim looksovulnerable. Itwasheartbreaking.Withahandtohischest,shewentuponhertoestokisshischeek.

"We'lldothat,"shesaidsoftlyandsmiledintohiseyes.

Shelby went into lunch and even enjoyed herself, but her mind was a tad

preoccupied.Deepinherheartsheknewthatthetimehadcome.

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ThePrincess

Sixteen

Nikolaiwassittingagainsthisheadboardthenextnight,abookinhand,whentheknockcame.Thinkinghewashearingthings,hepaused.Beforehecouldgobacktohisreading,itsoundedagain.

"Come in," he called, watching in amazement as the door between his andShelby'sroomopened.Theonlylightshiningwasoverhisbed,buthecouldstillseethewayshecamein,shut thedoor,andleanedagainst it.Nikolaistaredatherforamoment,gotoffthebed,andwenttostandbeforeher.

"Ididn'tknowifIshouldcallorjustcomein,"Shelbyadmittedsoftly.

"You'rewelcomeeitherway."

Shelbynodded,andNikolai took inherattire.Shehadshortsonanda longbaseballshirt.Hethoughtshelookedadorable.

"MayItellyousomething,Nikolai?"

"Certainly."

Shelby took a deep breath. "I'm terrified," she barelywhispered, effectivelybreakingherhusband'sheart.

"Oh,Red."Nikolai'svoicewas low,andamoment laterhe reached forher.Shelbysighedwhenhisarmswentaroundher.Itwassomucheasiertohavehimtouchher.

Nikolai found it easier too.Until she'd admitted that shewas frightened, hehadn'twantedtoassumewhyshe'dcometohim.Tofinallyhaveherpermissiontoholdherwasoneofthesweetestthingshe'deverknown.Andwhenhekissedher,itwassweeterstill.

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Shelbywasamazedathisgentletouchandfoundherselfsmilingupathim.

"Ishouldhaveknownyouwouldbenice."

Nikolai's smile matched her own. He spoke with his hand on her hair. "Ishouldhaveknownyouwouldbeamazinglysoft."

Shelbylaughedalittle,thinkingitwasalovelynotetobeginon.Shewasalsoverygladshehadcome.

"Theprincegavemethisasheleftthismorning,"Murdocksaidashehandedanotetohiswife.

First studying her husband's face, Fran opened it slowly andread.Murdock,PrincessShelbyisinmyroom.Pleaselethersleep.

Franraisedshiningeyestoherspouse.Murdocksmileddownatherbeforeheleanedtogiveherakiss.

Shelby stretched luxuriously, a groan escaping her, before she rememberedwhereshewas.TurningtolookatNikolai,shefoundherselfalonesaveforthenote that layonhispillow.AfterShelbypushedupagainst theheadboard, sheopenedit.

Doyouevernoticethetimingofthings?IthadbeenonmymindseveraltimesyesterdaytotellyouIhadtobeawayforafewdays,butIkeptforgetting.Ihadjustaboutdecidedtocallyouwhenyouknockedonthedoor.

Please know, Shelby, that leaving you this morning was very hard. I'm inEnstrom,meetingwiththecommitteeonbudgetcutsandtaxes,butrememberingyoursweetnessisgoingtomakeitveryhardtoconcentrate.LookingforwardtoseeingyouFridayorSaturday...

Nick

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Shelbyreadthenoteovertwiceandsatthinkingaboutthechangesthatwouldfollowinthedaysandweekstocome.Shesuddenlydidn'twanttostayinbed

muchlonger.Theprincesshadanurgetoseehermother.

"What'sthis?"ShelbyaskedasDariaputalargewrappedboxinherlap.

"SomethingIboughtyoubeforeyoumarried,butthetimingwasallwrong."

ThiswasallDariawouldsay,soShelbyopened thebox.Shepulledout thetwoloveliestpeignoirsetsshehadeverseen.Onesetwasasoftpeach;theother,apalemintgreen.

"Oh,Mother."

"DoyouthinkNickwilllikethem?"

Shelbysmiled."Hedidn'tseemtomindmyshortsandbaseballshirt,sohe'llprobablylovethese."

Daria's smile was huge. "You knocked on his door wearing shorts and abaseballshirt?"

Shelbyshrugged,tryingnottoblushbutnotsucceeding.Shelaughedalittleandsaid,"Idon'tthinkhecared."

"Ofcoursehedidn't."Daria'svoicewasgentle.ShestudiedShelby'sbentheadforamoment."Areyouallright,Shelby?"sheaskedquietly.

Theprincesslookedathermother.Sheknewthequestionstemmedfromwhatshehadsharedthatmorning,butShelby'smindwentelsewhere.

"Idon'thaveanyonetotalkto."

Darianodded."YourfatherandIrealizethat.Yourloyaltytothepalacekeepsyou from coming home to uswith your questions and concerns, but then youhaven'thadahusbandyoucouldtalktoeither."Dariacouldn'tstopthetearsthatfilledhereyes.

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"Wecanseethelonelinesswrittenalloveryou,Shelby.Icanonlyhopeandpraythatit'scomingtoanend."

Shelbyreachedtohugandkissthiswomanwhowassodeartoher.

"Shelby,"Dariasaidassoonas theyseparated,"loyalty to thecrownornot,youmusttellmeifyou'reallright."

"Iam,Mother,honestly.Nikolaihadtoleavetown,buttobefrankwithyou,I'mgladforalittletimeonmyown.It'salottothinkabout."

There was somuch Daria could have said, evenmore questions she couldhaveasked,butthiswasnotsomethingshecoulddo.Shelbymustleadthewayinthis issue,andrightnowshewasreadytobesilent.ItdidherheartgoodtohaveShelbycometoher.Theyenjoyedamealtogetherandtalkedofplansfortheholidays.WhenShelbyleft,DariaremindedherthatthedoorinHenleywasalwaysopen.

NikolaihadworkedhardonThursday,bendinghismind to the tasksof thecommitteeandevenintothedinnerconversationthatevening,butnowhewasinhisown roomat thechairman'shouseandable togiveway toother thoughts,namely,Shelby'swordsfromthenightbefore.

I think I am ready for this changebetweenus,Nick-asmuchas I'mable todiscern. And like you, I'm committed to this marriage and also desirous ofchildren.Butthere'sonethingyoumustknow.Iwon'tsay"Iloveyou"untilI'msureImeanit,andIwantyoutodothesameforme.

Nikolaihadcertainlyagreedandthankedherforherwisewords,butnow,thisevening, he was left alone with his thoughts. These two women, Yvette andShelby,bothofwhomhe'dknown

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suchashorttimeandwhohadplayedanddidplaysuchmajorrolesinhislife,werelikewarringfactionswithinhim.

Nikolai'seyesclosedwithasigh.Yvetteisrecedingfrommymind,Lord,andyetIstillfeel1loveher.Ican'thonestlytellYouwhatIeelforShelby.Nikolaisatbytheopenwindowandlookedoverthelightsofthecity,hisheartinaquandary.Icare,Father.Icaresomuch.IwanttotakesuchgoodcareofShelby.Iwanttosee her obedient, blessed, and happy, but I'm notable to say those three littlewords.Shewaswisetoputthesubjectrightonthetable.Ifwekeepitopen,1thinkwe'llmakeit.

Nikolaisuddenlyrealizedhowtiredhewas.Hehadafulldayaheadofhim,possiblytwo,andheowedittothecommitteetobeathisbest.

IwouldlovetheluxuryoftalkingtoYouallnightaboutthis,butrightnowImustrestandbeatpeaceinYou.

Nikolaiwas ready for bed and asleep less than 20minutes later.Hewasn'tanxious,butShelbywasstillverymuchonhismind.

"Whatareyouthinking?"EricaaskedRafesoftly,butshereceivednoanswer.Thequeenstaredatherhusbandinthereflectionofthemirror,buthestilldidn'tnotice. She had been readying for bed when he joined her in the bathroom,kissing the topofherheadand thensittingon theedgeof thebathtubwithoutspeaking. Erica was at her dressing table, thinking he'd come about someparticularissue,butheonlysat,seeminglyinanotherworld.

"Rafe?"shetriedagain.

"Yes?"

"Didyouneedsomething?"

"No.Iwasjustlostinthought."

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Ericaturnedfromthemirrortolookathim."Anythingyoucantalkabout?"

Hefinallylookedather."DoyouknowhowNickandShelbyaredoing?"

"Ithinkwell.They'retryingtospendmoretimetogether;Iknowthat."

Rafenodded."IplannedtotalkwithNickythisweek,buthe'sinEnstromrightnow."

"Andyou'reconcernedbecausetheydidn'ttraveltogether?"

"Alittle.Noneofthementaketheirwivestothecommitteemeetings.It'stoointense.ButIamwonderinghowmuchtimetheyarespendingtogether,

"MaybeShelbydidgowithhim."

"No,shedidn't.Isawheronherbiketoday."

Ericahadnoreply.ShehadspokenwithbothNikolaiandShelbyseparatelywithin the last week, and both seemed very fine, quite happy even. Theirconversations,however,hadnotrangedtothepersonal.

"Whydon'tyougiveNickyacall?Healwaysstaysatthechairman'shouse."

Theking shookhishead. "No. I'll seehimwhenhegets back."Rafe's eyesnowwenttohiswife'sattire.Shealwayslookedbeautifultohim,buttonightshehadonred.Helikedred.

"Youlooknice,"hesaid,knowingitwasanunderstatement.

"Thankyou,"shesmiled."Ididn'tthinkyounoticed."

"Imustremedythat,"hesaidsoftlyashewenttoher.Thequeen'sdoubtsflewastheking'slipstouchedherown.

WhenShelbyhad awakened and foundherself alone inNikolai's room, shehad exited through their adjoining door, innocently leaving it wide open.BecauseNikolaihadnotbeenhome,

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thatwasthewayitwasleft.ThiswasalsothewaytheprincefounditwhenhecamehomeverylateonFridaynight.Indeed,afterputtingalighton,itwasthefirstthinghenoticed.

Not troubling to do any more than set his case down, Nikolai found aflashlightandwentthroughthedoor.Asheexpected,Shelbywasasleepinbed.Carefulnottoshinethelightinherface,hewenttowardthebedandsetthelightonthenightstandtocastaglowoverher.Becauseshewasinthemiddleofthemattress,hewasabletositontheedge.Shedidnotmove,butthatwasallright.Nikolaiwashappyjusttostareatherfaceandwatchthewayshecurledaroundapillowtosleep.

Hedidn'tknowhowlongitwasbeforeherealizedheneededhisownbed,butonethingwascertain:Hetookhiscuefromhiswifeandleftthedooropen.

The next morning Shelby came from the bathroom wearing only herunderthings,hermindalreadyontheday.Nikolaimightbehomeanytime,andshedidn'tknowifsheshouldgooutorcancelherappointments.Shemovedto

thedeskandcheckedher calendar, seeing that thingswerevery free.Shewasscheduledtointerpret thenextmorninginchurchandknewshewouldneedtobefreshforthat,soshewasrelievedthedaywasarelaxedone.

Shelbywas turning fromthedeskwhenshesawhim.Leaningoneshoulderagainstthedoorjambbetweentheirrooms,hishandsstuffedintothepocketsofhisjeans,theprincestoodandwatchedher.

"Nikolai!"Shelbycriedinsoftsurpriseasshebacktrackedandreachedfortherobethatwasdrapedonthedeskchair.

Nikolai pushed away from the jamb. In the time it took for him to comeforwardandkissher,Shelbyhadknottedthebeltatherwaist.

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"You'reblushing,"Nikolainoticedafterhestoodtofullheight.

Shelby shrugged and tried for nonchalance. "I'm not very used to having amaninmyroomwhenI'mnotdressed."

Nikolaiwaswatchingher very closely ashe asked, "Evenwhen theman isyourhusband?"

Shelby'sblushonlydeepened.

Nikolai'sheartsighedgentlywithinhim.Onthewayhomehe'dfiguredthattheymightstillhavewallstoscale,andhiswife'sredfacetoldhimhewasverycorrect.Hewishedtherewassomewaytotellherthathedidnothaveahiddenagenda;neitherwouldheeverrushher.

"Youhaven'tstartedtoredecorate,Isee."

Shelbylookedbacktoseehimtakinginherroom.

"No.Idon'tseemtohavethetimerightnow."

"Whatwillyoudo?"

"Idon'tknow."Shelbyglancedaroundaswell,gladforthechangeinsubject.

"Maybewe should redomineat the same time.Carry the theme through, if

youknowwhatImean."

Shelby looked up at him but wasn't sure what to say. She suddenlyrememberedthewaybothYvetteandthequeenhadsharedthesameroomwiththeirhusbands.Nikolaididn'tsoundasthoughhewasalltoothrilledaboutsuchaplan,thewayhewasencouraginghertodecoratebothrooms.Shelbytriedtobelogicalaboutit,butshecouldn'tquiteignorethepainfulfeelingofrejection.

"Shelby,whatdoesthatlookonyourfacemean?"

"Whatlook?"sheaskedback,tryingtoevadethequestion.

"Thatlookofconfusionorhurt-Idon'tknowwhich."

Shelby was searching desperately for a reply when the phone rang. Shebrightenedwithrelief.

"Ihavetogetmyphone."

"I'llget it,"Nikolaisaid,reachingaroundherandeventakingthehandpiecefromher."Hello.Yes,sheishere,Murdock.Isit

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urgent?InthatcaseI'llhavehercallyou.Allright.Goodbye."Nikolaiputthephonedownandturnedbacktohiswife.Shelbyhadangledherbodyawayfromhim,butNikolaimovedtolookatherface.Whenshewouldn'tlookupathim,hesatontheedgeofthedesk,droppinghisgazetoherlevel,andwithhandstoherwaist,broughthertostanddirectlyinfrontofhim.

"I did a lot of thinking while I was gone, and I've come to one solidconclusion:We have to keep talking. It's awkward and embarrassing at times,butwemustkeepatit."

Shelbynoddedbutstilldidn'tspeakforamoment.Nikolaiwasonthevergeoforderingher,not that thatwouldhavebeenhelpful,whensheseemed tocomeuncorked.

"I have to tell you something, Nikolai; I have to!" Shelby looked almostdesperatenow."I'mafraid toevenmentionYvette toyou. I'mterrifiedofeventhinkinghername,letalonesayingit.I'msoafraidthatitwillupsetyouorthat

you'lltellmeit'snoneofmybusiness.Imean,itshouldbemybusiness,I'myourwife,butIdon'tfeelthatitis."

Nikolaiputhishandsonthebacksofherupperarmsandrubbedgently.Thepinkinherfacehadgonepale,andherfeatureswerestrained.Nikolaifoundthatithurthimtoknowshewassoupset.Intruth,hedidn'twanttodiscussYvettewithShelby,butthatwasn'tfairtoeitherofthem.

"Tellmeif thiswillworkforyou,Shelby:WhenyouhaveaquestionaboutYvette,justcheckwithmeaboutasking.AtsometimesIfeelmorevulnerableinthat area than at others. If you can checkwithme, then I think itwill be lesspainfulanduncertainforbothofus."

"Icandothat,"Shelbytoldhim,thinkingshewouldsayanythingnottohurthimorhavehimmadather.

"Good.Now,whatdidIsaythatmadeyouthinkofYvette?"

Shelbyplayedwiththebeltonherrobe,wishingshedidn'thavetoanswerbutstillmakinganattempt."Itwasjusttheway

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youmentionedtherooms.Idon'tknowifIcanexplainitmorethanthat."

Nikolaiworkedinhismindtograspwhatshehadsaidandfinallyasked,"Areyoureadytomoveintomyroom,Shelby?"

ThethoughtalonemadeShelbyblush.Sheimmediatelyshookherheadno.

"In thatcase,"Nikolaisaid,notseeinganeedto tellherhewasn't readyforthateither,"we'llstartbyleavingthedooropenandseehowwelikethat."

Shelbynodded,reliefcominginslowwaves.Shehadknowntherewouldbemorebridges to cross andbattles to endure,but shewas still souncertain andembarrassed in front of her spouse.Would she never feel completely at homeandsecureinthisplace?

"MayIholdyou,Shelby?"Nikolaisuddenlyasked.Shelbyhadn'tbeenawareofhisscrutiny,butshecouldrelatetowhatshesawinhiseyes:need.

"IfIcanholdyouback."

Nikolai'seyesslidshutasherarmswentaroundhisneck,hisownencirclingher to hold on tight.Their prayers, had they but known it,were quite similar.TheybothaskedGodtohelpthemfindtheirfootinginthisrelationship.

"Allright,Peter,"Shelbyinstructed,"putyourcupofflourinnow."

"Whataboutthechocolatechips?"theboyasked.

"Theygoinlast,"Shelbysaidasshemovedthebagfromherhusband'sreach.

Petersmiledathisaffrontedlook,butShelbyjustkeptmixing.

"Okay,Nick.I'mreadyforthoseeggs."

Hedidashewastoldandthenrealizedheshouldbestirring.

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"Here.Letmedothatforawhile."Nikolaitookthespoonfromherhandandbegantowork.Withhishelp,theywerereadyforthechipsinnotime.

"Howlongwillitbe?"Peterwantedtoknowafterthefirstbatchhadgoneintotheoven.

"About12minutes.Canyouwaitthatlong?"

"Ithinkso."

Shelbysmileddownathim.Hewasdoingverywell.SheknewfromToby'sreportsthatPeterhaddaysinschoolwhenhewouldnotrespondorevenlookathisteacher,buteventhatwasgettingbetter.

ShealsoknewthatithelpedthatNikolaiwasabletoseehimaboutonceeverytendays.Thelittleboyhadcometoadoretheprince.Theonlypersonheseemedtolovemorewasthequeenmother.Andanhourlater,whenaboxofcookieshadbeenputtogetherforthatlady,Peter'sfaceshowedhisdelightingettingtoseeherandpresentherwiththegift.Nikolaiwalkedhimtothewestquadrant.

"Howhaveyoubeen,Peter?"Nikolaiaskedastheymovedalongatasnail'space,Nikolai'sdesignmorethanPeter's.

"All right," theboysaid, lookingupsidewaysathim.Hehadbeensmiling,

butnowhefrownedalittle."Idon'twantyoutoprayformeanymore,"hesaidsuddenly."I'mgoingtotellQueenMirandatoo."

"Canyoutellmewhy?"

"Ididn'tlikewhatyousaidlasttimeaboutthegiftpart."

Nikolaitookamomenttocomputethis."YoumeanwhenIsaidthatsalvationwasafreegiftfromGod?"

"Yeah."Theboy'svoicewassoft,hisexpressionguarded."YousaidGodwassosmartthatHecreatedeverything,butIdon'tthinkit'ssmarttomakeYourSondie. I can't think why He would do that, so I guess I don't believe He did.Anyonecouldfigureoutthatitmustallbeabiglie."

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Nikolaikepthiscalmwithaneffort.Whenheworkedwithadultswhocalledthemselves believers butwhodid not really care to grow in theLord,Nikolaididn'twastehistime.Thischildwasdifferent.ThischildwasnotabelieverinChrist and needed to be treated differently. Peter'swords, however, stillmadeNikolai feel as though he'd been wasting his time, and he had to fight hisemotionsonthesubject.

"Well,Peter,"hesaidatlast."You'recertainlyentitledtoyouropinion.Itakeityouthinkmybeliefisratherfoolish."

Putsobluntly,theboyhesitated,evencomingtoahaltontheirwalk,butheeventuallynodded.

"Inthatcase1needtochecksomethingwithyou.Areyoustillgoingtowanttospend timewith theprincessandme?We're stillgoing tobelieve thesame,andyoudon'tagree.Areyougoingtowantanythingmoretodowithus?"

Peter'sfacepaledonthesewords.Hewishedhehadkepthismouthshutandputupwiththeprayers.

"Ididn'tmeanIdon'tlikeyou"hesaid,hiseyesfilledwithfear.

Nikolaiputahandonhisshoulder,stillpushinghisfirstfeelingsaside.

"I'mglad,Peter.Iwouldhavemissedseeingyou."

Peter looked into the prince's smiling face and let out his breath. For amomenthethoughthe'dlostitall.Hemanagedasmallsmilenowasheturnedandwentthroughthedoortoseethequeenmother.

"Thankyou,"herememberedtosay,thecookieboxcomingupalittle.

"You'rewelcome.Haveagoodtime,andI'llseeyousometimenextweek."

Peter's smile toldNikolai he'd said the right thing, but theprince still felt aneed tobealone.Hewent forawalk in theparkandhada long talkwith theLord. By the time he returned, he'd remembered that he was not the one incontrol-somethinghewasverygladofrightnow.

219

ThePrincess

Seventeen

Shelby spent themorning at the care center. The residents were all movedback in, and most were settled again. The fire was still the main subject ofdiscussion,andeveryonewhosawtheprincesswantedtospeakwithheraboutit. Shelby had been listening to their talk for more than an hour when Mrs.Radfordapproachedher.

"Whenyouhavetime,PrincessShelby,mayIspeakwithyouinmyoffice?"

"Certainly.I'llberightalong."

Shelbysaidaslowgoodbyetothemenshewasvisitingandmadeherwaytothematron'soffice.

"Pleasehaveaseat,"thatwomansaidquietlywhenShelbyenteredtheoffice.

Shelby,thinkingshe'dneverseenhersosubdued,satinaleatherchairinfrontofthedesk,

"HasanyoneinformedyouthatI'mretiring?"

"No,Mrs.Radford.1hadn'theard."

The older woman nodded, her expression unreadable. "My husbandwishesmeto,andIthinkit'stime."

"We'llmissyouandthehardworkyoudo,"Shelbysaidsincerely.

AgainShelbycouldnotreadtheotherwoman'sexpression,butMrs.Radfordsurprisedher.

"I didwant to tell youone thingbefore I go,PrincessShelby."Thematronclearedherthroatandcontinued,"Ihavehadseveral

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commentsonthefoodlately-positivecomments.1thoughtyouwouldliketoknow."

"Thankyoufortellingme."

"Iwouldalsoliketothankyouonbehalfofthecarecenterforhelpingduringthefire."

"You'rewelcome.I'mgladIwashere."

Mrs.Radfordgaveaghostofoneofheroldsmiles-theonesShelbyhadseenbeforeshecausedwaves-andbeganstackingpapersonherdesk.Shelbytookhercue,leavingthematron'sofficeandgoingtospeaktooneofthestaffaboutplansforasendoffparty.Whenshegotherinformation,Shelbyoptedtoheadbacktothepalace.Shewassuddenlyfeelingrathertired.

Nikolaihadnotseenhiswifeallday.Hehadbeenoutofthepalacewhenshehadbeenhomeandviseversa.Theyhadnotevenhaddinnertogether,butnowhewashomeanddelightedtoseealightstilloninherroom.Hestartedthatwaybutdidn'tenterwhenhesawthatshewassittingquitestillbythewindow.Herprofile told him she was not asleep, but she looked contemplative. Nikolaishiftedalittleonhisfeet,andShelbyheard.

"Oh,hello"shesaidsoftly,turningherheadtoseehim.

Nikolaifeltbetteraboutjoiningher.

"Howwastheevening?"sheaskedasheapproached.

"itwasfine,"Nikolaisaid.Iwantedtohurrybacktoyouwaswhathethought."Howwasyourevening?"

"Niceandquiet."

Nikolaismiledatthereliefinhervoice.

"Readytoheadtobed?"heasked.

"Iam."Shelby'svoicedroppeda little,andhergazeshiftedaway."I thinkIwanttobeinmyownbedtonight,Nick.Isthatallright?"

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"Of course," he answeredwithout hesitation. "I hope you sleepwell."WiththathebenttokissShelby'scheekandtellhergoodnight.Hereturnedtohisownroom,hismindracingfrantically tofigureoutwhetherhehaddonesomethingwrong.Saveforthenightshe'dbeenaway,heandShelbyhadsharedaroomforsome weeks now. That something was amiss was very clear; the specifics,however,werenot.With a rather confusedheart,Nikolai headed intohis ownbathroom to ready for bed. Hewas in themiddle of brushing his teethwhenrealityhit.Mouthstillfulloftoothpaste,hewentbacktotheadjoiningdoorbutheardShelbyintheshower.Noteventhiswoulddeterhisplan.

Five minutes later he was dressed in his pajamas and removing his pillowfromthebed.Hegrabbedhisbookandreadingglasses,turnedallthelightsoffinhis room,andheaded toShelby'sbed.Hemadehimselfcomfortableon theoneside,lighton,pillowathisback,andopenedhisbook.Hewasattemptingtoread when Shelby came from the bathroom, spotted him, and stopped still.Nikolailookedupandsmiled.

"IthoughtIwouldjoinyouinhere,"heexplainer)

Shelbyonlynoddedandthenspottedthepillowhe'dplacedonthechair.

"I'mmore comfortablewithmyown,"Nikolai said; he'dbeenwatchinghereverymove.

Again Shelby only nodded. She came toward the bed and climbed in, andalthoughNikolaihadgonebacktohisbook,henoticedshelayasfarfromhimasshecouldget.Shethenreachedforherownbook.Byshiftingeversoslightly,Nikolaicouldwatchherwithoutbeingobvious.Shelby'seyesmovedacrossthepage, but she blinked often and slowly. Nikolai wondered if she would have

turnedthelightoffrightawayifhehadn'tbeenreadingalready.

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Withoutpomporceremony,hesethisbookasideandturnedoffhislamp.Heleanedclose,kissedShelbyagain,andthensettledonhispillow.

"Goodnight,Shelby,"hesaidwithhiseyesclosed.

"Goodnight."

Nikolai could tell that her head was turned and she was looking in hisdirectionforsome time.Whenshedidmove,heheardherput thebookaside,andamoment laterhecould tell frombehindhis lids that the roomwasdark.Thebedwasjustdifferentenoughthatittooksometimetogainsleep.Neverasoundsleeper,Nikolaieventuallynoddedofftothesoundofhiswife'sbreathing,neversuspectingthekindofnightthatlayahead.

Theclockread4:15whenNikolaiheardShelbygetupforthefifthtimesinceshe'dturnedthelightout.Theshowerinherbathroomcameonalmostassoonas she shut the door. It wasn't a long shower, but the noise was enough thatNikolaiwasstillveryawakewhenshereturnedtobed.Hewaitedforhertogetcomfortableagainandknewsomehowthatshehadnotimmediatelyfallenbacktosleep.

"Isitthisroughonyoueverymonth,Shelby?"

Shelbysighed."DidIwakeyouallnight?"

"Yes,butthat'sallright."

Hewasmetwithsilence.

"Isitthisbadeachmonth?"

"No.Mysystemisnotveryregular.It'snotatallunusualformetogofiveorsix weeks between cycles. On occasion I'll go seven weeks. That's whathappenedthistime."

"Shouldyouseeadoctor?"

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"I have, andhe's toldme that it's pretty normal for somewomen. If I don't

haveaperiod formore than sevenweeks, I'm tocomeback,but it'sbeen thiswaysinceIwas14."

"Howbusyisyourdaytoday?"

"Idon'tthinkIhaveanythingplanned,andifIdid,Iwouldprobablycancel."

Theyfellsilentforatime,andNikolaithoughtShelbymighthavegonebacktosleep.

"I should have explained to you last night," Shelby started again. "I wasembarrassed."

Nikolaireachedoverandfoundherhand.

"Wereyouangry?"Shelbyasked.

"No.ConfusedaboutwhatIhaddonewrongbutnotangry."

"Youtrulydon'tangereasily,doyou?"

"Notasarule."

"Whatdoesmakeyoumad?"

"Let'ssee."Hethoughtforamoment."Ithinkpeoplewhohatethecrownforno good reason upset me pretty quickly. Or someone who does nothing butcriticizesmyfather.Nokingisperfect,butIthinkhedoesagoodjob."

"Whatangersyouonapersonallevel?"

"Likebeingupsetwithyouorsomeoneonthestaff?"

"Yes."

"OffhandIcan'tthinkofanything,butIwilladmittoyouthat1wasangryatPeterthelasttimewesawhim."

"PeterOwens?"Shelbyasked,certainshehadmisunderstoodhim.

"Yes.Hedidn'tknowit,andIhadtoconfessitbecauseIhadnoright,butafewweeksbackIfeltthedoorwasopenforthefirsttimetoexplaintoPeterhowChristdiedforus.ThistimeIsawthatitreallyseemedtobotherPeterthatGodwoulddothistoHisSon,andtheninsomanywordshesaidhedidn'tbelieveit-thatonlyafoolwouldfallforsuchastory."

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"Idon'tthinkyoutoldmeaboutthis."

"Iwastooupsettotalkaboutit.ButafterIcalmeddownandthoughtbackonit, I realized Peter was defending himself. His father never gave himunconditional love, and even his sisters, although they don't treat him badly,havetheirownlivesandfriends.Alittlebrotherissometimesintheway."

"AndaGodwhowouldofferanunconditionalgiftoflovecertainlycan'tbetrusted,"Shelbyconcluded.

"Yousaidthatinawaythatmakesmethinkyouunderstand."

"Idon'tknowifIdoornot.Iwasfromthecampthatsays'I'mgoodenough.WhywouldIneedaSavior?'"

"Whatchangedyourmind?"

"Believeitornot,alowtestscoreinschool.Ihadalwaystakengreatprideinmyacademicability,andthensuddenlyIdidn'tmeasureup.InaninstantIsawmyselfstandingbeforeGodtryingtotellHimall thethingsIdidwell.IcouldalmostseeHimshakingHisheadandsayingitwasn'tgoodenough.Forthefirsttime itbecameclear tome that Iwasdesperately lost.Myparentsandbrotherhadalreadyseentheirneed.Ittookmealittlelonger."

ShelbyheardNikolaimove,andsuddenlyhisarmswerearoundher.Withhislipsagainsthertemplehesaid,"I'msothankfulyousawthetruth,Red.Ican'ttellyouhowmuch."

Shelbygladlyturnedinhisarms,wantingverymuchtobehuggedrightnow.It wasn't long before she felt relaxed enough to fall back to sleep, and shesuspectedNikolaihad,butShelbydidn'tletherself.Shelaystilluntillightcreptinfromtheedgesofthecurtains,prayingforthemanwhoheldherclose.

ShelbywouldnothavechosentospendthefirsttwodaysafterChristmasonherown,butNikolaihadbeencalledaway.Althoughshehadbeenallreadytooffertogowithhim,shehad

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learned that the kingwas to go aswell. Shelby thought theymightwant achancetobeontheirown.

Withafewfreehours,theprincesstooksometimetothinkaboutredecoratingher bedroom. She thought the idea of a central theme in both rooms worthlooking intoandwent toherhusband'sbedroomtostudy thecolor theme.Sheliked the navy blue in the wallpaper and the contrasting light carpet. Herhusband's room was also trimmed in light oak. Shelby liked that as well butwasn'twillingtogiveuphermahoganytrim,somethingshedidn'tlikewiththeblackwallpaper.Ifshedidfollowamatchingmotif,itwouldhavetomatchbothwoods,andsheknewthenavywoulddothat.

Whilestandinginthemiddleoftheroom,ShelbynoticedthatNikolaihadleftasweaterandsomesocksandundershirtsonthechair.Thinkingtosavethestaffa little trouble, she scooped themup andmoved toward the closet.Almost aslarge as her own, the prince's closetwas surprisingly full of clothing.Nikolaialwayslookednice,butShelbywouldneverhavesaidhewastheclotheshorseshewas.

ShelbywasonthevergeofhangingthesweatershefoundwhenshespottedYvette'spicture.Thephotowasdisplayed in fullviewon topofNikolai'sneatandorderlydresser.Shelbyhadseenherphotoinnewspapersbefore,soshefeltno need to study the image, but finding the picture on his dresser wasunexpected.

Shelbyfinishedputtinghisclothingaway,herheartthoughtful.Sheletherselfout of the closet and even remembered to turn off the light, but she couldn'thonestlysaythatsheknewwhatshefeltjustthen.

"I don't knowwhat I fee! right now,"Nikolai told his father. Theywere inEnstromtogetherandhadjustgonetodinneralone.

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The twomen, soalike inheightandbuild,nowwalkedon thebanksof thePierceRiver.

"Tellmesomething,Nicky,doyoualwaysfeellovedbyGod?"

"Notasfeelingsgo,no,Ican'tsaythatIdo."

"Sowhatdoyoudowhenthathappens,whenyoudon'tfee!loved?"

"I claim the truths of Scripture. I look at what Christ did on the cross andknowthatcouldonlycomefromaheartoflove."

"Sowhatdoyoudowithyourfeelings?"thekingasked.

"Ifthey'recontrarytoScripture,1worktogettheminline.It'snotalwaysthateasy,butthat'stheprocess."

Rafe fell silent. Nikolai had answered the question, but his father did notcomment.

"Whydidyouaskmethat,Dad?"

"Ijustwantedtoknowtheanswer."

"ButweweretalkingaboutShelby."

"Yes,wewere,weren'twe?"Again,Pendaran'skingfellsilent.

Nikolaiwalkedalongstudyinghisfather'sprofile.Theprincewasnotadull-wittedperson,butthisonetooksomethought.Whenhefelthe'dfinallycaughton,hefoundhedidn'twanttotalkatall.

Shelbylookedatthepileoflettersonherdeskandshookherhead.Whyhadshethoughtthatlifewouldreturntoanormalpacewhentheholidayswereover?The holidays and even the prince's birthday had been wonderful times offellowship andworshipwith family and friends, but Shelby had to be honestaboutwantingthingstoslowdown.

Sittingherewhiningaboutthisisn'tgoingtohelp,Shelby.Startonyourmail

Shehadjustbeguntoopenenvelopeswhenthephonerang.

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"Hello."

"Hello,Shelby,it'sErica.DidIgetthedaywrong?"

Shelbytookamomenttorespond."Oh,no!"shegasped."Icompletelyforgot.I'msosorry."

"It'sallright.Didyoualreadyeat?"

"No."

"Well,comeover.I'llwatchforyou."

"Okay,"Shelbyagreedhurriedly,hungupthephone,andnearlyranfromherdesk.Shedidn'tknowwhenshe'dcompletelymissedanappointment,andwiththequeennoless!

EricaguessedthekindofstateshewouldbeinandrefusedtolistentoanyofShelby's apologies. She assured her that she was not offended, only hungry.Shelbyhuggedherforunderstandingandrealizedshewashungryaswell.

Themealstartedwithgarden-freshsaladsandledtoarichcreamofasparagussoup.Alightpuddingwasservedfordessert,andallthetimethewomentalked.EricatoldsomelightheartedstoriesfromthepastandevensharedwithShelbysome things she was struggling with right now. She ended by asking Shelbysomeratherpointedquestions.

"Withwhomdoyoutalk,Shelby?"

"WithwhomdoI talk?"Shelbyechoeduncomfortably,notlikingtheturnintheconversation,althoughithadcomeaboutverynaturally.

"Yes.Whenyou'reuncertainorupset."

"Well,"Shelbybegan,thinkingshewasuncertainandupsetatthemoment,"IguessIjusttalktotheLord."

Thequeen,whohadsuspectedasmuch,putahandonherdaughter-in-law's.

"Shelby, no one in the palace expects you to be silent all the time. Yourdiscretion is admirable-both the king and I have noticed it-but when you'rehurtingaboutsomething,youneedtogotosomeone."

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"Andwhowouldthathe?"Shelbyasked,feelingalittleangryatthiswomanforthefirsttime."Whomdoyousuggest?"

In that instant, as she looked intoShelby'sdarkbrowneyes,Erica sawhowdifficultitwouldbe-reallysawthistime,notjustimagined.Wantingtomentionherself,theking,orShelby'sparents,Ericasomehowknew,rightorwrong,thatShelbyhadalreadyruledthemoutoncertainissues.Withaprayerforwisdom,shemadeasuggestion.

"PastorAllen," the queen said. "He knows all about your situation.He andRafehavetalkedmanytimes,ashaveheandNicky.PastorAllenisthesoulofdiscretion, and he has one large advantage. He knows some of the detailsalready."

Shelbynodded.

"I'msorry,Shelby,"thequeencontinued."Iaskedyouthatquestionasthoughyoursituationwerecompletelynormal,andit'snot."

"Somedaysitdoesn'tfeelasthoughiteverwillbe,"theprincesssaidsoftly.

"Doyouthinkitwillhelpwhenthingsbecomemoreintimatebetweenyou?"

Amazingly,Shelbydidn't blush. "I'mnot sure," she answeredhonestly. "I'mfinding that there is more than one type of intimacy. You can be intimatephysicallyandstillnothaveameetingofmindsandhearts."

"That'sverytrue,Shelby,butthenwouldyouconsiderittrueintimacy?"

Shelby'ssmilewasalittlesad."Whenit'sallyou'vegot,Iguessyoutakewhatyoucanget."

Erica told herself to breathe, even as her heart squeezed in agony. She stillmanagedtosmileverygently.Shelbywasgladshehadnotbeencondemned,butshefeltlikeafake.

"I need to tell you," Shelbyadmitted, "thatmy own feelings for Nikolai areuncertain.Ican'thaveyousittingherethinkinghe's

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beenthisunfeelingmonster.Nothingcouldbefurtherfromthetruth,butwe

dohavealongwaytogo."

"Thankyoufortellingme,Shelby.I'llbepraying.I'vebeenpraying,"thequeencorrected,"butit'snicetobespecificwhenwecanbe."

"Thankyou,"Shelby said sincerely.Sheknew thequeen lovedher son, butshenevermadeShelby feel that hewasperfect or that anyproblemsbetweenthemwereallherfault.

LongafterShelbyleft,shethoughtoftheirconversation.Theadvicethequeengavewasnotunwelcome.Shehadtalkedtoheroldpastormanytimes.TheverythoughtofgoingtoPastorAllenaboutthethingsshehadonhermindcausedherfacetoheat,butshedidn'tdisregardthequeen'sadvice;shethoughtaboutitoffandonfortherestoftheday.

"Ineedtotalktoyou"Ericasaidonthephonetoherhusbandthemomenthepickedup.

"Isiturgent?"

"I'mfeelingasthoughitis,butit'snot-notreally.I'mjustupset."

"Icanbewithyouinabout30minutes.Willthatbeallright?"

"Yes."

Erica forcedherself to be calm.What shewanted to dowasgo somewhereandsobhereyesout,buthermothercalledjustaftershehungupandthathelpedpassthetime.

"IjusthadlunchwithShelby,"Ericatoldher.

"Isn'tshethesweetestthing?"thequeenregentasked.

"Shereallyis,Mom.Icouldtalktoherallday."

"DidshementionthatPeterishavinglunchwithGrandmatoday?"

"No.I'mnotsuresheknows.Whyisn'theinschool?"

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"Ateacher'sworkday.Hissistersgavehimpermissiontocomefortheentire

day.Yourfatherisgoingtotakehimouttotheskeetclub.Asamatteroffact,theyjustleft."

"Oh,he'lllovethat."

ThequeenandqueenregenttalkedalmosttothemomentRafewalkedinthedoor, and Erica found she'd greatly calmed. She was able to explain theimpressionshe'dgottenfromShelbywithoutburstingintotears.

"Helpmetounderstandthis,Rafe.HowcanNikolaiandShelbyenterintothisunionwhenthey'renotinlove?"

"Rica." Rafe's voice was gentle but also matter-of-fact. "Shelby is a verydesirablewoman, and1 know thatNikolai is beingverykind andgentlewithher.Hisdesireisnothardtounderstandatall.Onherpart,sheobviouslycaresand is responding to his gentleness. There's also one other aspectwe have toconsider."

"What'sthat?"

"Thatthey'realreadyinloveanddon'tknowit."

Ericablinked."Howcouldtheynot?"

Rafelookedabitconfusedbutstillsaid,"Ithinkourlevelheadedsonishavingahardtimedistinguishingthedifferencebetweenfeelingsandfacts.Heknowsthat loveisachoice,butallheeversaysaboutShelbyis thathedoesn'tknowhowhefeelsabouther."

"Whathaveyousaidtohim?"

"Enoughtomakehimthink,buthemustchoosetodealwithallofhisfeelingswheretheymustbedealtwith-withintherealmoffacts."

Erica stared into her husband'swise face; she needed to do the sameworkwithherownfeelings.

"I'mgladItalkedtoyou.I'msorryIcalledinsuchapanic."

"It'sall right. Idoneed togoback to theoffice,but I'mgladyoufoundmeavailable." In themiddleofhiswords,Rafehada thought that showedonhisface.

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"WhatIsit?"

"Iwasjustthinkingthatwecouldbegrandparentsthisyear."

That Erica hadn't considered this was very clear. She drew her lower lipbetweenherteeth,asuresignthatshewasworried.

"WillyousayanythingtoNicky?"thequeenfinallyasked.

"No.He'sabigboynow,andforallweknow,that's theveryreasonthey'veconsummatedtherelationship."

Ericanodded.Againshewassurprisedbyhislogic.

"Noworryingnow,"herhusbandcommandedbeforehekissedher.

"Allright."

"Godissovereign"weretheking'slastwordsbeforehelefthiswifealone.

Nikolaiwokeslowlythenextweekend,somethingunusualforhim;hehadatendencytoawakenquickly.Ashestretchedandpeekedoneeyeopentolookattheclock,he thoughthemustbevery tired.Hiseyeshadalreadyclosedagainwhenherealizedsomethingwasamiss.Hepeekedtheothereyeopentoconfirmit.Hiswifewaswideawakeandstaringathim.

"Ican'tsleepifyou'regoingtowatchme,Red,"hesaidwithasleepyvoice,hiseyesclosingagain.

Shelbysmiledatlittle.

Nikolaicouldtellshewasstillstaringrightathim.

"Imeanit,Red."Hisvoicewasagrowl."Youhavetolookaway."

Shelbylaughedsoftlybutcontinuedtostudyhisface.

"Didyouenjoylastnight?"sheaskedsuddenly.

Nikolai's eyes suddenly opened very fast. "You're doubting?" he asked,findinghimselfwideawake.

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Shelbyshrugged,wishingshe'dstayedquiet."Well,youdidn'tsay."

Nikolai feltabit impatient,althoughhecovered it."What is it Ido,Shelby,thatmakesyoufeelsoinadequateasawife?"

Shelbycouldnotkeeptheshockfromherface,andNikolairealizedtoolatewhathehadjustsaid.

"I'd better get up,'' Shelby responded, having alreadyworked to school herfeatures."I'mgolfingthismorningwithVickey."

Shelbyturnedtoleavethebed,butNikolaicaughtherfrombehind."Don'tgojustyet,"hesaidquietlyashemovedcloseandsnuggledagainstherhack."It'searly."

Shelbyletherselfbehuggedandtriednottothinkaboutwhyshe'daskedherhusbandthatquestionorwhysheachedinsiderightnow.Shecouldnotputherfingerononesinglepoint,butherwholebeingwastellinghertogosomewhereandhaveagood,longcry.Beforeshecouldstopthem,afewtearsfell.

"Shelby?"Nikolaiasked.He'dfeltadropofmoistureonhisarmandbeguntositup.

"[havetogetup,"shegaspedasshemovedfromhisarms.

Notknowing if itwasamistakeornot,Nikolaididnot try to stopher.Shenearly ran from the room, and the prince rolled to his back and stared at theceiling.

/couldspeculateaboutalotofthingsrightnowandletmyselfoffthehook,butIwouldbewillingtobetmylastdollarthat1havesomehowcausedthosetears.Helpme, Lord.Helpme to find away to lovemywife as she deserves to beloved.

Forthefirsttime,Yvette'sfacedidnotswimintoviewthemomenthethoughtaboutlove.Ifithad,Nikolaiwouldhavepusheditaway.Shelbywasthewomanwhoneededhimrightnow.

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"Well,Nick!"Dariasaidinsurprisewhensheopenedthefrontdoorandfoundhimstandingthere."Comein."

"Thankyou.Ismytimingawful?"

"Notat all. Josiahwentback to the shop,andIjustdid the lunchdishes so ]couldsitdownwithacupoftea.Willyoujoinme?"

"Iwill,thankyou."

Daria sentNikolai into the living roomwhile shewent for the tea tray.Heintendedtositdownbutfoundhimselfinterestedinthepicturesonthewalls.AyoungJosiahandDariaParker lookedout fromone frame-she ina longwhitegown,he inablacksuit.ShelbyandBrice'sgraduationpictureswere there,asweresomebabyphotos.Hewouldn'thavebelievedhiswifecouldeverberound,buttherewasnomistakingtheredheadedbutterballthatsmiledintothecameraasatoddler.Nikolaifoundhimselfsmilingatherinreturn.

"Hereweare,"Dariasaidassheenteredtheroom."Ididn'tknowifyoulikedmilkorlemon,soIbroughtboth."

"Letme get that for you."Nikolaimet her in themiddle of the room and,takingthetray,setitonthecoffeetable.

Daria began a gentle dialogue about how fun the holidays had been, andNikolaiwasglad tohave something to talkabout. Itdidn't last long,however.ShewaitedonlyuntilNikolaihadtakenafewsipsofteatosaywhatwasonhermind.

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"I think you've come today looking for something, PrinceNikolai,Are yougoingtotellmewhatitis?"

Nikolailookedintokindeyes,solikehiswife's,andputhisteacupdown.

"It's been onmymind how you and ]osiah trustedme to take care of yourdaughter.1don'tknowhowmuchShelbyhastalkedtoyou,butIhaven'talwaysdoneagoodjob.I'mtryingtorectifythat."

Dariasmiledathim."Iappreciatethatverymuch.Intruth,Nick,wehaveseen

howlonelysheis."

Thewordsdidstrangethingstohisheart.Inaquietvoiceheasked,"DidyoubyanychancelovesomeoneelsebeforeyoumetShelby'sfather?"

"No,Ididn't,Nick,butbelieveitornot,mymotherexperiencedwhatyou'regoing through." Daria smiled at Nikolai's raised brow and continued. "Mymother married my stepfather because she found herself widowed and alone,with two very little girls to take care of and noway to support them.He hadadoredher.Ittookmorethantwoyearsforhertolovehim.Theysharedabedandalife,butnotlove-atleastnotatfirst.Whenmymotherdidcometolovemystepfather,itwaswithherentirebeing,butthepainofmyfather'sdeathandhismemoryplaguedherforaverylongtime."

Nikolaicouldnotbelievewhathewashearing.ThefirstquestioninhismindwaswhetherShelbyknewthis,buthe realized thatwas foolish.Ofcoursesheknew.

"I'vesurprisedyou,haven'tI?"

"Yes,butIthankyoufortellingme."

"IfIcanbesobold,Nick,I'dliketogiveyoualittleadvice-somethingIthinkmymotherwouldhavesaidtoyou."

Theprincenodded.

"Don'ttrytogetoverYvette.JustmakeroominyourheartforShelby."

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Without permission Nikolai stood. He walked to the window and stoodlookingoutbutdidn'treallyseeanything.Hewashavingahardtimebreathingbutdidn'tnotice.HismindsawShelby'ssweetfaceassheaskedhimnottosaythosethreelittlewordsuntilhemeantthem,

Nikolai suddenly turned back to hismother-in-law. Just looking at her faceremindedhimthathemustwaituntilhewascertain.Andevenifhewascertain,thetimingforShelby'ssakemustberight.

"IthinkI'velostyou,"Dariasaid.

"I'msorry."Nikolaiwas instantlycontriteandmadeamove to return tohisseat.Hishostesssurprisedhimbystandingup.

"I'mgladyoucame,Nick,andifyoureallywanttostay,you'rewelcome,butIthinkyouhavesomethingstothinkaboutandprobablywanttobealonetodoit."

Beforehecouldconsiderotherwise,NikolaiwenttoDariaandgaveherahug.Shehuggedhiminreturn.Thankinghersincerely,hemadehiswaytothedoor.HishandwasontheknobwhenhespottedaboxaddressedtoPrincessShelbyMarkham.Nikolaiturnedback.

"WouldyoulikemetotakethistoShelby?"

Darialaughed."Oh,youdon'thaveto.It'sjustsilly."

Nikolaismiled,pickeditup,andweigheditinhishands.

"Clothes?"

"No,"Darialaughedagain."FairyCakes."

"FairyCakes?"

"Shelbyiscrazyaboutthem."Dariashookherhead."Apalacefullofthefinestdessertsintheland,andshelikeslittlepackagedcakes."

Nikolaiwatchedherforamoment."Youmissher,don'tyou?"

TearsfilledDaria'seyessofastthattheywerebothamazed.

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"I'llgetthesetoher"wasallNikolaisaid,buthisheartwasassuringDariathathewoulddorightbyherdaughterifitwasthelastthingheeverdid.

The events of recent weeks had united to make Shelby tired. Variousencounters with her husband, some that hurt her and caused her painfulconfusion, had occurred. Shelby had not confronted him over any of them,makingitallthemoreunsettlingtohavehimturnaroundandtreatherwithsuchtenderness.Shelbywasamazed.Itwasalsopuzzlingtolearnthathe'dvisitedhermother.Shewasstilltryingtounderstandthatone.

Youcouldaskhim,Shelby.Yourmothermayhavereaditallwrong.You'vegottolearntotalktoyourhusband.Allyoudoisguess.Youhavenoideaifyou'recorrectornot.Ifyou'lljusttalktohim,youmightlearntolovehimasyoushould.YoumightevenfindawaytoaskhimaboutYvetteandtellhim...Shelbyshutdownatthatpoint.Shedidn'twanttothinkaboutthepossibilities,althoughherheartwastellingherthatwasjustwhatsheneededtodo.

Shelbywasstillinthemidstofthesementalaerobicswhensheheardanoise.Thebathroomdooropened,andShelby,whowassoakinginatubfullofsuds,sankalittlefurtherintothewater.

"Shelby?"

"Yes,"shesaidasshetuggedthecurtainover.

"Hi,"Nikolaisaidashecameinandshutthedoor."Itsmellsgoodinhere."

"It's thebubbles,"Shelby said,her red facepeekingaround thecurtain.ShewatchedNikolaicomeallthewayinandsitonthebenchinfrontofhermakeuptable.Hewasinaperfectpositiontoseeher,butShelbyhadpulledthecurtainalittlefurtherforwardandletthewatercoverher.

"Howareyou?"heasked,hiseyesonherface.

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"Fine."

Nikolaistudiedher."Areyoureally?"

"Ithinkso.Whydoyouask?"

"I'vejustneverknownyoutotakeabathinthemiddleoftheday."

"Oh,that.Well,I'mjustalittleachy."

"Could this be tied to your cycle?" he asked, knowing she would beembarrassedbuttryingtotakedownmorewalls.

"Itcould,"Shelbysaid,hereyesaverted.

"Shelby,"Nikolai said,waiting for her to look at him. "What canwe do to

helpyounotbesoshyaroundme?"

Shelbymadeherselflookathim."Doyouthinkit'sreallythatbad?"

Nikolainodded."You'rethemostmodestindividualI'veeverknown.Youlikethelightsoutandyourbathrobecloseathandwhenthelightscomeon.Youevenprefermetobecovered,butyoucanbarely takeyoureyesfrommewhenI'mnot fullydressed."Hepaused. "Right now,you'renearlydrowningyourself tostayunderthosebubbles."

Shelbysighed."We'reaverymodestfamily.IguessI'veneverthoughtaboutit, but it's true. I don't think I've ever seen my father without his shirt." Sheshruggedalittle."It'ssolametosaythat'sthewayIwasraised,butinthiscase,it'sverytrue."

Nikolaibarelykepthismouthclosed.Thatshehadneverseenherfather'sbarechestwasamazingtohim.

"Nikolai?"Shelbycalledhisnameandbroughthisattentionback.

"Yes?"

"DoyouthinkI'mpretty?"Shelbyforcedherselftoask.

"No."

Shelby nodded. She had figured as much, but hearing his admission washarderthansheexpected.

"Ithinkyou'rebeautiful."

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AllShelbycoulddowasstareathim,evenwhenhe rose,came towardher,andbentlowoverthetub,hishandsoneitherrim.

"Very,verybeautiful.AndI'mafoolforneverhavingtoldyou."

"Oh,Nicky, you've never said. You've complimentedwhat I'mwearing butnevermentionedme.I'msorryitwassoimportanttome."

"Never apologize for needing that affirmation. I think it everyday, and I've

beenwrongnottotellyou."

Shelbyraisedherface,eager tokisshim.Nikolaiwas justaseager to touchher.

"Youare,"hesaidsoftly,hislipsstillbrushinghers,"thesweetestwomanI'veeverknown.Andyoualwaystastewonderful."

Shelby smiled; he couldn't know thebalmhe'dpouredonherheart. "Whenyougivecompliments,yougoalltheway,don'tyou?"

Nikolaionlylaughedandkissedheronceagain.

Histouchwassosoft.ForaninstantShelbyfeltverycherished.Herhearttoldhertotalktoherhusband,toshareherownheartandgetclosetohis.ButShelbyrefusedtodoassheshould.

"Thankyouformeetingme,"NikolaisaidtoDariaandJosiahastheywalkedinHenley'spark."She'ssoquietthesedays.IaskherwhatIcando,butshejustdoesn'tshare."

TheParkersexchangedaglance,andDariaspoke,signingaswell toensurethatlosiahcouldfollowtheconversation.

"Wewerejusttalkingaboutthis,Nick,andalthoughtherearethingsfromthepastthathavetobeworkedout,rightnowwehonestlythinkit'sthebaby.Shelbyisevenalittlequietwithus,and

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we1we just let-"Daria stoppedwhenNikolai came to a dead halt, his facemirroringshockandhurt.

Daria'shandwenttohermouth."Oh,Nick,didshenottellyou?"

"No."

Foramomentallthreeweresilent.

"Comeoverhere,"Josiahdirectedatlast,leadingthemtoabenchthathadalittleprivacyunderoneofthetrees.Hemotionedforhiswifeandson-in-lawtositdownwhilehesatonthebricksattheirfeet.

"Shelbydidn'ttellyoushe'sexpecting?"

Nikolaishookhisheadno.Tearshadcometohiseyes."IfeellikeIloveher,"hesaidsoftly,"butshe'ssodistantthesedays;1don'tknowhowtotellher."

Dariawantedtosob.EvenJosiah'seyesweresuspiciouslymoist,

"Shehastobetheonetotellmeaboutthebaby,"Nikolaisaid."Ithastocomefromher.Ihaven'tgainedhertrustyet,that'sobvious.Whensheknowsshecantrustme,she'llshare."

"Icouldbewrong,butI'mnotsureit'satrustissue,Nick,"Dariahadtotellhim."Shetoldmethatshecan'tstandthethoughtofthischildknowingthatheorshewasn'taproductofyourlove.Sheknowsthatshe'lllovethebabyandsowillyou,butthelovebetweenthetwoofyouismissing.Itriedtotellherloveisachoice-shesaidPastorAllensaid thesame thingwhenshewent to talkwithhim-butshe'snotthinkingclearlyrightnow."

"Shecan'tbe,"Josiahsaid,"orshewouldseehowmuchyoucare.Doessheknowthatyoucomeheretoseeus?"

"Ithinkso."

"Someoneoughttotellher,"losiahwenton,"thatamanwhowillvisithisin-laws in an effort to love hiswife is very special. Shelby needs to understandthat."

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"Please don't tell her you've toldme about the baby,"Nikolai requested. "Iwantittocomefromher.Whenwe'vetalkeditallout,cantellherIknew,butnotnow."

"Soyouwon'ttalktoherwhenyougethome?"

Nikolaishookhishead."No.Atleastnotforawhile.Ifshewaitstoolong,I'llneedtosaysomething,butmyhopeisthatshe'llcometome."

"We'llbeprayingforthatverything."

"Hassheseenadoctor?"Nikolaiasked.

"No.Shedidahometestandsaidittookonlyafewsecondstoshowpositive.Beyondthat,shesaysshefeelsdifferent."

It didn't sound as though there could be any mistake. Nikolai thanked theParkers for telling him.He desperatelywanted to be alone, but he took sometimetotellthemhowmuchheappreciatedtheireffortsandsupportofhim.Theirconversationendedonapositivenote,as their talkrangedtoBrice'sactivities.Bythetimehesaidgoodbye,Nikolaihadhisemotionsundercontrol.Hisplantoswing by Ryan's and talk with him, however, was changed. The prince justwantedtogohome.

IhavetoremindmyselfthatYouknewallaboutthis.I'vedreamedofhavingchildrenmywholelife,andnowmybabyishereand1can'tevenshareinit.Idon'tknowwhenI'vebeensoconfused.I'mtryingtoshowShelbyIloveher,butshe'snotseeingitShestillholdsmeatarm'slength.I'vegottofindoutwhatI'vedonetocausethat.Somethingiswronghere,Lord.Pleaseshowmewhatitis,orhelpShelbytoopenuptome.Theprincelaidhisheadback,thinkingthatwouldbethesweetestthingofall.

Heprayedallthewayhome,givinghiswife,baby,andmarriageovertoGod.Eachtimeheworriedandtookthemback.HedebatedaboutgoingtohisfatherorPastorAllenbutdecided towait.Theonlypersonhe reallywanted tohearfromwasShelby,andhethoughtthebestwaytopromotethatwouldbetospend

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timewithher,Nikolaiwasformingaplan,evenashewasletoffatthefrontdoorandmakinghiswayinsidethepalace.

Twodayslater,Shelbywalkedontothedeckatthelakehouseandstoodstillinthecrispmorningair.Shehadn'tbotheredtomakecoffeeorhaveanythingtoeat.Shefoundshewasn'thungryatall-onlyhurtingandconfused.Thatmostofherhurtwasherownfaultwasnotsomethingshewantedtodealwith.

Asshe'dbeendoing,shepushedallthoughtsofthebabyaway.Lookingoutatthe water, she realized that as soon as Nikolai woke, he would look for her.Without leavinganoteanymorespecific than"Goingforawalk,"Shelby leftthehouseandheadedtothebeach,allthetimedenyingtheknowledgeofwhatshemustdo.

Nikolaiwouldn'thavesaidthathecouldwaitaweek,butsofarhehadmadeit.Assoonashehadarrivedhome,hesuggestedtoShelbythattheyheadtothelake for theweekend.Shehadn'tbeen thrilledbuthadgoneand, although shehadsleptalot,seemedtohaveagoodtime.ShehadevenseenandplayedwithJennyandMontyStevensonandtheirbabybrother,Ricky,butstillshehadnotshared the newswith him.He prayed all theway home that shewould comeclean,butitwasnottohappen.Nikolai thoughthewouldgiveherafewmoredays and thenmake some gentle hints. Even if he hadn't known the facts, hewould have started to wonder. Shelby's appetite had changed, and she wasfatiguedallthetime.

Heknewshewastootiredtoattendthedinnertheywereinvitedtothatnight,butwhenhesuggestedthattheystayhome,orattheveryleast,shestayhome,shedeclined.

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"They'llunderstandifyou'retired,Red,"Nikolaisaidgently,referringtothehosts.

"You'reright,Nick,butthey'vebothbeensokindtome.I'dreallyliketogo."

"Wecanmakeitanearlynight"Nikolaisuggested,andShelbywasmorethanwillingtocomplywiththatplan.

What neither of them counted on was the man driving the large truck. Hedidn't see the red light as Ivan, taking the royal couple to dinner, crossed theintersection. The truckwas on Shelby's side, and she spotted it justmomentsbeforeimpact.Afterthat,sheknewnothingforseveralhours.

Shelbystruggledoutofunconsciousnessandsquintedatthewomanbendingoverher.

"Nicky,"shetriedtosay.

"It'sallright,PrincessShelby.You'regoingtobeallright.She'sawake,"thewomansaidtosomeoneelse,andShelbytoldherselftofightthepainandspeak.Amanhadjustbentoverherwhenshefoundhervoice.

"Whereismyhusband?"shewhispered.

"He'sbeinglookedatrightnow,buthe'sfine.We'llbringhimtoyouassoonastheotherdoctorfinisheshisexamination."

"Fvan?"

"Thedriver?Notascratch."

"IneedtoseeNick."

"Youwill."

"Ihavetotalktohim,"shesaid,workingtoliftherhandstopleadwithhim."It'ssoimportant."ButShelby'shandsdidn'tcomeup;sheonlyimaginedtheyhad.Shewastooweakandtoofulloftubestorealize.Sleepwascrowdingin,andshecouldn't fight it.Somewhere inhermindsheknew theywere lying toher.

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Nikolaiwasdead,andshewouldneverseehimagain.Shebegantocryjustasshefellhacktosleep.

DariaandEricasatsidebysidenexttoShelby'sbed,theireyesonherwhite,bruised face. She'd been admitted to a regular room, not intensive care. Theprincewas in only for observation. Shelby had lost a great deal of blood andwouldbe in thehospital forsomedays.The twomothershadn'tspokenmuch;they were content to wait for signs of life. Almost an hour passed beforeShelby'slidsflickered.Thewomenstoodasone.

"Shelby?"hermotherspokesoftly.

"Mother?"

"I'mrighthere."

"Where'sNicky?"

"He'srightdownthehall."

Shelbyfocusedonhermother.

"Tellmehe'snotdead-please,Mother,justtellmehe'sallright."

"He'sfine.Thedoctorjustwantshimtorestuntilyouwakeup."

Shelbytriedtoswallow,andEricahelpedherwithanicechip.Shelbynoddedherthanksbeforehereyesflewbacktohermother.

"Thebaby!"

Daria quickly shook her head no and thenwatched Shelby's eyes go to thewindow.Although not crying, she lay very still for a time, staring unseeinglyacrosstheroom.Neitheroftheolderwomenknewwhattosaytoher.Astheysat togetherwaiting,Dariahadshared someof thepast eventswithErica.Forthisreasontheolderwomenallowedthequiettocontinue.

"Mother,"Shelbyspokeatlast,hereyesstilldistant.

"Yes,dear."

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"MayIgetupandgoseeNicky?Please."

"No,love.You'velosttoomuchblood."

"He'sachingtoseeyou,Shelby,"Ericaputin."Rafeandyourfatherarewithhim,butheonlyhastostayinbeduntilyou'rereadytoseehim."

"Icouldn'twaitthatlong"saidavoicefromthedoor.

Shelby'seyesflewtotheprince,scanninghispersonasbestshecouldtoseeifhewasallright.Ashecameforward,themothersslippedfromtheroom.Shelbydidn'tevenwaitforthedoortoclosebeforeshebegantospeak.

"I'vedonesomethingawful,Nicky,justawful."

Nikolai came close, pulling up a chair to sit down. He was still weak andshaken.

"Doyouwanttotellmeaboutit?"heasked.

Shelbynodded,thinkinghewastoonice.

"Youdeservebetterthanmeforawife,Nicky.I'vejustrealizedit."

"Nothingcouldbefurtherfromthetruth,Red.Andnomatterwhatyousaytome,I'llstillfeelthatway."

Shelbylickedherlips."I'vesinnedagainstyou,Nicky.Idon'tknowifIcanevermake it right."Shepaused,butNikolaididnot interrupt. "Iwaspregnantanddidn'ttellyou,"shesaidsoftly,makinghereyesmeethis."I'msorry.Ineverletyoushareinourbaby,andnowhe'sgone."

Nikolai smoothed the hair from her forehead, careful not to bump the gashoverherlefteyebrow.

"Isthereareasonyoucouldn'ttellme?"

"Thereis,Nick,butit'snothingbutanexcuse."

"Tellmeanyway."

Shelby'seyeswenttotheceilingagain."Ifithadjustbeenus,Nick,Iwouldhavetoldyou,butIwasn'twillingtoshareourbabywithYvette.Youstillkeepherpictureinyourcloset,andonenightyoucalledforher."Theprincesslookedattheprince,hereyes

245

floodedwithtears."I'vehadtoshareyou,Nicky,butIwasn'tgoingtoshareourbaby."

"Oh,Red,"hewhispered,"I'msorry.Sovery,verysorry."

"You'resorry?No,Nicky,I-"

ButNikolaiwouldnotlethercontinue.Heputhisfingersoverhermouth.

"IputYvette'spictureawayafewweeksago,butobviouslynotsoonenough.AndIdothinkofher,butshe'snotfillingmydreamsasitmusthaveseemed."

Shelbyshookherhead."Itoldyouthatwasjustanexcuse.I'vesinnedagainstyou,Nicky,"shecriednow."Don'tyouseehowwrongIwas?"

Nikolaistoodandbentoversohecouldtakeherinhisarms.Hemovedeversocarefully,thepositionawkward,buthehadtoholdherasshecried.

"We'vebothmademistakes,"he said inher ear. "I'msorry, and Iknowyouare,butwesurvivedtheaccident,Red.Godisgivingusanotherchance."

Nikolaibackedoffabittolookintohereyes.

"DoyouunderstandwhatI'msaying?"

Shelbysniffedasshenodded.

"Idon'tdeservetobeforgivenbyyou."

"That'snottrue,"Nikolairespondedwithdeepconviction."I'vesinnedagainstyouaswell.Weneedtolearnfromthis,notletittearusapart."

Shelby sobbed then. His forgiveness had seemed so unreachable. She hadbeen disoriented when she first woke, but stark reality had not been long incoming.

Pleasehelpme,herheartcriedoutsilentlytoGodasshetriedtoholdNikolaiwith bruised arms and hands.Nicky's knowing about the baby would not havestoppedtheaccidenttonight,butatleastIwouldhavebeenblameless.He'ssowillingtogivemeasecondchance.Helpmenottotakethatawayfromuswithmyselfishness,

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/ear,andpride.Shelbycouldnotgoon.ShewantedtocryandpraysomemoreandholdontoNikolaiforever,buteverythingwasfading.

"I can't stay awake," she justmanagedbeforeher eyes closed andher armswentlimp.

"It's all right,"Nikolai toldher.Hewas spent aswell.Moving carefully, hewithdrewhisarmsandsatbackdown.Hereachedoverandbrushed thedamphairandtearsfromherface.

"It's all right, Red," he repeated, knowing she could not hear him. "And assoonasyourereadytohearit,I'lltellyoujusthowallrightit'sgoingtobe."

247

ThePrincess

Sixteen

"There'ssomeoneheretoseeyou,PrinceNikolai,"thenursesaidquietlythenextmorning.Nikolaihadjustshoweredandfinishedhisbreakfast."HesayshisnameisPeterOwens."

Nikolainodded."Pleasetellhimtocomein."

Peterenteredthehospitalroommomentslater,hiseyeshugeandwary.Thathewasnervousaboutbeingback in thisplacewasclear. Itwasalsoclear thatseeingthestrong,ableprinceofPendaraninahospitalbedwasnotsomethingthatputhimatease.

"Hello,Peter."

"Hello."

"Comeinandsitdown,"Nikolaisaidasheslowlyswunghislegstotheedgeofthebed."Whobroughtyoutothehospital?"

"Toby.Hecameoverwhile Iwasgetting ready for school, andPam,"Petercontinued,referringtohisoldestsister,"saidIcouldcome."

"I'mgladyoudid."

Peter reachedup to brushhis too-longhair fromhis browand continued tostudytheprince.

"WhereisToby?"

"Hewenttoseetheprincess.Hesaidshegothurtprettybad."

"A truck hit the car"was allNikolai said.He didn'twant to go into detailswiththislittleboy.

"Didshealmostdie?"

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"Well,shelostalotofblood.Andshe'llbeveryweakforawhile."

Peternodded,hiseyesdroppingtohisshoes.

"Ineedtotellyou,Peter,thatIwouldhavebeenverysadifmywifehaddied,butShelbybelievesasIdo, thatChristdiedforhersins,soIknowshewouldhavebeenwithHim."

"Youmeaninheaven?"

"Yes.Likewe'vetalkedaboutbefore."

"Iwasgonnaaskyouaboutthatsometime,"Petersaid,hiseyesonhisshoes."Nottoday,butsometime."

"Askmewhat?"

Hegesturedwithhishands,lookingalittleembarrassed."Youknow,thatstuffIdidn'twanttobelievebefore,aboutGod'sSonandallthat."

Nikolaitippedhisheadashethought."It'sinterestingthatyoushouldaskmeabout it here. After I understood my need to be saved, I prayed with mygrandfatherinahospitalroomlikethisone.Iwasjustalittleyoungerthanyouarerightnow."

Peterlickedhislips."WhatdidyousaytoGod?"

"ItoldHimIbelievedthatHisSondiedformysins.ItoldHimIneededtobesaved.AndthenIaskedHimtocomeinsideofmetolive.Godwilldothat,bytheway-placeHisSpiritrightinsideofuswhenweacceptHisgiftofsalvation.And that'swhatHedid forme,becauseHecould see intomyheartandknewthatIbelievedthatonlyHisSoncouldsaveme."

"Idon'tknowifI'mreadytosaythattoGod,"thechildadmitted.

"I'm glad you're thinking it over, Peter," the prince surprised him bysaying."It'sa big commitment.Not something to be taken lightly, if youknowwhat Imean."

"Ifiguredasmuch.MysisterwassurprisedwhenItriedtotellher,soIknewitmustbeprettybig."

"Didshemakeyoufeelthatyoucouldn't?"

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"No.Shejustdidn'tunderstandwhyIneededto."

Nikolaismiled."Well,youcanunderstandhowshefeels,can'tyou,Peter?"

Peter'sbrowloweredinconfusion.

"Thelast timewetalked,youprettymuchsaid that itwasafoolish thingtobelieve."

"Iguess1did,butI'vebeenthinkingmore."

"Whathaveyoubeenthinking?"

"ThatitwouldbenicetohaveSomeonetotalkto-likeyousaidbefore-evenwhenI'maloneorwhenI'mscared."

"Itisnice,Peter-verynice.IloveknowingGodlovesmeandwillneverleaveme. God doesn't make life perfect for those who trust in Him, but He doespromisetoalwaysbewithus."

The interest moved out of Peter's eyes, or was it panic that replaced theyearning?

"Whatdoyouthinkitis,Peter,thatstopsyoufromwantingChristtosaveyouandliveinsideofyou?"

"Idon'tknow,"Petersaiddistantly,andagainNikolaifeltthedoorhadclosed."IneedtogoseePrincessShelby,"Nikolai'svisitoradded.

"Allright.I'llcomewithyou.Butbeforewego,Peter,rememberonething:Youcanalwaystalktomeaboutthis,andyoucanalwaysgotoToby."

Peter nodded and even smiled a little before they left the room and starteddownthehall.

"Thankyoufortheflowers,Toby."

"You'rewelcome,"Tobysaidsincerely,buthiseyesweresad."Rafetoldmeaboutthebaby,Shelby.I'msorry."

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Shelbytookadeepbreath."Thankyou,Toby.I'lladmitthatforalittlewhilethereIthoughtyouhadpickedthewrongprincess,butI'mdoingbetternow."

Tobytookherhand."I'mgladtohearit,Shelby,becausetherewasn'tanyoneelsemoreperfectforthejob."

"You'retookind."

Tobysmiled."Isthatwhatyoucallit?IcallthewholebusinessarescuefromGodalone."

"Whoneededtoberescued?"Shelbyasked,herbrowloweredinpuzzlement.Before the king's closest friend could answer, they were joined by Peter andNikolai.

"Hello,Peter."Shelbysmiledattheboybutsawtheshockonhisface.Forthefirst timeshewonderedwhatshe looked like."Howareyou?"she triedagain,tellingherselfnottoworryaboutherappearance.

"Allright,"heanswered,buthisvoicewasunusuallysubdued.

"I'mfine,"Shelbyfelt theneed to tellhim."Igotbumpedandbruised,"sheadded,searchingfortherightwords."ButI'mgoinghomeinjustafewdays."

Peternoddedbutstilldidn'tappeartobepleased.Theadultsfilledinalittleontheconversation,butTobywasn'tlonginseeingthatPeterneededtoleave.Theysaid their goodbyes about ten minutes later, leaving the prince and princessalone.

"Washethatnervouswithyou,Nick?"Shelbyasked.

"Right as hewalked in, yes, but thenwe had a pretty good talk. I think hewantedtocomeinherebecauseIwasaskinghimthingsthathedidn'tknowhowtoanswer.Hegavesomethingawayforthefirsttime,somethingabouthissister.Ithinkthatmightbesomeofwhat'sgoingonrightnow."

"MaybeIshouldvisithersometime."

"That'snotabadidea."

"Bytheway,doIlookhorrendous?"

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"Idon'tknowifI'dgosofarastosayhorrendous,butyou'reamess."

Shelby'smouthopenedonhisbluntness,andNikolaismiledather.

"Maybeyouhadbettergetmeamirror."

Nikolaishrugged."I'lljusttellyou-youhaveagashoveryourleftbrow,andyoureyesaresoblackyoulooklikearaccoon."

Shelby stared at him in disbelief and then saw the teasing glint in his eye."Youobviouslystudiedtactinschool,Nick.Youshouldbeteachingclasses."

NikolaigotagoodlaughoverherresponsewhileShelbycontinuedtostudyhim.

"IthinkI'lltakethatmirroranyway,ifyoudon'tmind."

Ittooksomedoing,butNikolaicameupwithahandmirror.

"Idolooklikearaccoon,"Shelbyagreed,studyingherreflectionwithchagrin."Ididn'tbelieveyou."Shelookedagainattheglass."Idon'tknowifmypridecantakethis.MaybeIwon'thaveanymorevisitors."

"Actually,yourvisitorsarelimitedanyway."

"Oh,howcome?"

"Doctor'sorders.He'snotoverlyworriedaboutyou,buthe'snot takinganychanceseither.Iknowofseveralpeoplewhohavebeenturnedaway."

Shelbynodded.Shehadworkedinahospitallongenoughtoknowtheropes."Howareyoufeeling,bytheway?"

"Justalittlesore."

"Areyougoinghometoday?"

Nikolaidrewclosebeforeheanswered."Yes.It'snotfairtotakeabedandthestaff'stimewhenalltheX-raysandtestshavecomebackfine."

Shelbysighed."I'mgladyou'reallright."

Nikolaileanedtokissher."Iamtoo.Didyoueatsomethingyet?"

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"No.Iwasn'ttoohungry."

"Howaboutnow?'1

"IcouldgoforaFairyCake,"Shelbysaid.

Hesurprisedherbysaying,"I'llseewhatIcando."

Shelbywasstillsmilingwhenheleftbutwassurprisedwhenhedidn'treturn.Indeed,hernextvisitorwasBrice.

"Brice!"

"Hey,Red."

"Whocalledyou?"

"Fa. I would have been here earlier, but I got word that you had a certaincraving."

ShelbyblinkedathimandthenlaughedwhenaboxofFairyCakescamefromunderhis shirt. Justmoments laterShelbyhad stuffedone intohermouthandwasaskingformilk.Bricemanagedtoproducethataswell,andShelby'smouthwas full again by the time the doctor walked in. Dr. Finleywas aman she'dknownforyears.Hefeltfreetoteaseher.

"That'sagreatbreakfast,"hesaiddryly.

Shelbygrinnedunrepentantly."Wantone?"

Heappearedtoconsiderit."IthinkIdo."

Theydidn'tgetdowntotalkingabouthowShelbywasdoingforseveralmoreminutes,but theprognosiswasgood.Yes, shehad lost a lotofbloodbutwasverystrongphysically.Ifshecontinuedtoimprove,shewouldprobablybehomeinabouttwodays.

Erica'shugwasdelightfullylongandwarmwhenshecametoseeShelbytheseconddayshewashome.ItwasaSundaymorning,andshehadbeenassigned"princesssitting"dutiesbyNikolai.ShelbyhadshoweredanddressedbutgonebacktobedinNikolai'sroom.Ericapulledachairclosetothemattressandthen

proppedherfeetup.

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"Thank you for volunteering to come," Shelby said to her mother-in-law."Muchashewouldhavedisagreed,Nickneededtogetout."

Ericanodded."NikolaiwentwithRafe,who'llseetoitthathestaysoutforatime.Rafeevenplannedtotalkhimintohavinglunch.BecauseI'mwithyou,Ihopehe'llagree."

"Itwasmyturntosigninchurchtoday."Shelby'svoicewaswistful.

"I'msurethey'llmissyou,buteveryoneunderstands.Rafeisgoingtobringusthetapeoftheservicethismorningtoo."

Shelbynoddedandthenfellsilent.

"Howareyoudoinginside,Shelby?"

"Prettywell.[stillregretnottalkingtoNicky,butI'mnotbeatingmyselfupoverit.Idothinkaboutthebaby,though.Alot."

Ericanodded."We'venevertalkedaboutmyeffortstohaveababy,havewe?"

"Nickhasmentionedit,butIdon'tthinkyouandIhavediscussedit."

Ericashookherhead."Itwassuchapainfultime.IlearnedagreatdealaboutGod's sovereignty during those years, but for a long time I thought I wasdefective."

"Didyoureally?"

"Yes.Mymother hadhadmy sisters andme, andbefore her,Grandmahadgivenbirthtomyfatherandallhissiblings,andIfeltI'ddroppedtheball.If[hadn'tgottenpregnantatall,Shelby,itwouldhavebeeneasier.ThenRafecouldhavesharedtheload.Buttogetpregnanttimeaftertimeandthenlosethebabywasunbelievablepainandloss."

"Didtheyeverfigureoutwhy?"

"No.1had fivemiscarriages in threeyears. Iwasput tobedas soonaswe

knew I was pregnant for the last two pregnancies, and that finally worked.Nikolaiwasborntous.Youcan'tbelieveourjoy."

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"IthinkmaybeIcan."

Ericasmiled."Ofcourseyoucan.Iwasn'tthinkingwhenIsaidthat."

"Whatifwecan'thaveanother?"Shelbyvoicedherthoughts.

"God will give you the strength, but unless there's something the doctorsmissed, Shelby, God will have another child for you. Your miscarriage wasclearlyaresultoftheaccident.AsIsaid,theyneverdidfiguremineout."

"Ikeeptellingmyselfthesamething,butIdohavemydoubts."

"This is the real testing ground, isn't it, Shelby?When life is going alongeasily,whenwe'reinharmonywithGodandourmate,whennoonewelovehasdiedor is hurting-those are the timeswhen life can seemgrand.Somepeoplewouldsaythatifthat'sthecriteria,lifeisnevergrand.Thosepeopleespecially,andeventuallyallofus,havehadtolearntopraiseGodwhentheyhurtorwhenlifechangesandbecomesconfusing.Itseemstomethatyouareinjustsuchatime.Itevenseemstomethatyou'vebeeninsuchatimesinceyoumarriedmysontenmonthsago."

Shelbystaredather,somanythingsrushingthroughhermind.Thishadbeenatimeofgrowthforher.Shewaslearningtotrustassheneverhadbefore.Indeed,life had seemed ideal before the king and queen sat across from her in herparents'livingroom.

"I never thought about it that way before. Sometimes all I can see are themistakesI'vemade."

"That'sjustwhatSatanwants,butdeepinsideyouknowbetter,don'tyou?"

"Yes," she said softly. "I do hurt over the baby and over theway I treatedNick,butI'mnotdestroyed.IthinkthatmustbeGod'sworkinmylife."

EricapickedupShelby'shand. "I'msureof it,dear. Iwon't tellyou Ididn'texperiencesomeangerwhenyoudidn'tletusallshareinthebaby,butyou'rea

differentpersonnowthanwhenyou

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marriedNicky. I didn't think I could loveyouanymore thanwhenwe firstmet, but I've learnedotherwise.Youare soprecious tome,Shelby.You're thedaughterIcouldn'thave.EvenifIhadtriedtodreamyou,you'rethedaughtermyimaginationwouldn'thavedonejusticeto."

Her commentsmade Shelby feel cherished and just a little tired. It was onShelby'sheart to tell thequeenwhat shemeant toher, but shedidn't have theemotional energy. Instead Shelby thanked Erica and asked her to share aboutgrowingupin thepalaceandwithhersisters.Somewhere in thestory,shefellasleep.Ericalefthertorest,movingtoaseatbythewindowwithherBibleandastudybook.ThiswasthewayNikolaifoundthemalmosttwohourslater.

"Howwaslunch?"Ericaaskedassoonashetookaseat.

"Itwasgood.Wejustwenttothegrill.Fatherisprobablyclosebehindme,butWallacehad somenews for himwhenwegot in."Nikolai glanced towardhiswife,eventhoughhe'djustbeennexttothebedcheckingonher."Howdidshedo?"

"Fine.Wetalkedforawhile,butshe'sbeensleepingforsometimenow."

"Didshecomplainofanydiscomfortorpain?"

"Not beyond saying she was sore and wobbling a little on the way to thebathroom."

Nikolai nodded and looked back toward the bed. The roomwas huge, andtheirvoiceswerehushed.Shelbyusuallysleptsoundly,buthenoticed thatshewasbeginningtostir.

"Feel free toheadhome,"Nikolaioffered. "Iplan tobehere the restof theday."

Ericanodded."Shelbysaidyouneededtogetout."

Nikolai smiled. "I appreciate her concern, but I'm not feeling a hundredpercenteither.I'llprobablycrawlinbesideherandsleepforawhilemyself."

"Inthatcase,I'llbeoff."

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EricakissedNikolaionherwayout.Rafemetherinthehall,butassoonassheexplainedNikolai'sintent,hewenthomewithhiswife.HadNikolaiknown,hewouldhavebeenthankfulforhisfather'schoice;theprincewasasleepbesidehiswifejusttenminuteslater.

Shelbymadeittothebottomofthestairs,atriumphantsmileonherface.ShewasheadedtoNikolai'sofficetosurprisehim.Shehadyettoventurefromthebedroomsorthegreenparlorsinceshehadcomehomesixdaysearlier,butthismorningshefeltstrongenoughtomaketheeffort.ItwasverydeflatingtofindNikolai'sofficeempty.Shewascertainthat'swherehesaidhewouldbe.

With nomore energy to search further, Shelby took a seat in her husband'sdeskchair.Itwastoolargeforherbutstillcomfortable,andforawhileshejustsat and stared out the window into the courtyard. She thought a walk in thesunshinemightbenicebutcouldn'tsummontheenergy.

"Ifoundher."

Shelbyopenedhereyestothesoundofherhusband'svoice.Hewasspeakingonthephone.

"Intheoffice,"hecontinued."I'llletyouknowifIneedyou."

"camedowntosurpriseyouandyouweren'there,"Shelbytoldhimassoonasthephonewasbackinitscradle.

"Well,yousurprisedthestaffinstead."Hisvoicewasmild.

"HowdidIdothat?"

Nikolaisatontheedgeofthedesk,hislegsclosetothedeskchair."Arlandacouldn'tfindyou.Theywereinsomethingofapanic."

"Oh,no.Ididn'tseeanyonewhenIcamedown,butIdidn'tthinkanythingofit."

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Nikolainoddedbutdidn'tspeak.HewaswatchinghersocloselythatShelbybegantofeeluncomfortable.

"Areyouangryatme?"

"Not at all. I'm trying togauge if you're strongenough towalk to themainsalon."

Shelby'sbrowsrose."What'sinthesalon?"

Nikolai didn't answer, but Shelby would not let the subject drop. With adecisivemove,shepushedfromthechairandheadedoutthedoor.Nikolaicameafterher,stilldebatingwhetherheshouldhavesaidanything.

"Oh,my"wasallShelbycouldmanageassheopened thedoubledoorsandstared.

The main salon in the north quadrant was ablaze with flowers. Everyconceivableblossom,size,andvarietywaspresent.

"ItseemsthatthepeopleofPendaranheardofyouraccidentandwantedyoutoknowtheycared."

Shelbyturnedtolookathim,hermouthslightlyagape.

"Thestaffissayingthatwehaven'thadthismanyflowersatthepalacesincemymotherwas finally able to give birth to a child." The prince smiled. "I'vebeenupstaged."

"Oh,Nicky,"Shelbywhispered."Doyoueverfeelcompletelyunworthy?"

"Often."

Shelby shook her head. "I haven't been such a great princess,Nick. If onlytheyknew."

"IftheykneweverythingIdid,theflowerswouldneverstopcoming,"hesaidgently.

ItwastoomuchforShelby.Tearsfilledhereyes.

"ThisiswhyyouaskedifIwrasstrongenough."

Nikolai didn't need to reply.He lifted her in his arms, Shelby's arms going

aroundhisneck,ashestampeddownhisalarmoverhowslightshefeltandborehergentlybacktobed.Arlandawas

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hoveringwithhotteaandblankets,butShelbywasalmostasleepagain.

"I'msotiredoftired,Nicky."Thewordscameoutonasigh.

Nikolaionlysmiledasher face turned into thepillowandshefellasleep. Itwasamazing tohimwhathe felt for thiswoman.Theprotectiveness insideofhimwasfierce,butthelovewasofthegentlestkind.Italsomadehimpatient-agood thing rightnow. If the sightof flowersmadehercry,he fearedwhat thedeclarationofhisfeelingsmightdo.

"There's beena change inplans," Nikolaimentioned to Shelby about threeweekslater."We'llbeleavingforthelakeinabouttwohours."

"All right," Shelby agreed, but she was confused. They were breakfastingtogether in the small dining room with plans to drive to the lake houseimmediatelyafter.

"Areyouallreadytoleave?"

"Yes.IjusthavetograbmyBibleandthebookI'mreading."

"Allright.Dothatassoonasyou'redoneeating,sowecanleaverightaftertheygo."

"Rightafterwhogoes?"

"Thewomen."

"Whatwomen?"

"Thewomenwhoarecoming."

Shelby stopped, a small smile at her mouth. That Nikolai wasn't going tocomerightoutwithitwasobvious,butShelbywantedtoknow.

"SomeoneIknow?"

"Yes."

"DoIknowthemwell?"

"Yes."

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"Mymother?

"Yes."

Shelbybitherlip.Whowouldbecomingwithhermother?

"Yourmother?"

"Yes."

Shelby'ssmilewashugeassheasked,"Aretheremore?"

"Yes."

"MayIhaveamilliondollars?"

Nikolaicaughthimselfjustintime,smiled,andsaid,"No,youmaynot."

Shelbylaughed."Pleasetell."

Nikolaishookhishead.

"Tellmewhythey'recoming."

Againtheshakeofhishead.

"I'llscratchyourbackwhenwegettothelake,"Shelbysaid,hervoiceatitsmostcoaxing.

Nikolai'seyeslitwithlittleflamesashelookedacrossather."Youdoknowhowtotemptaman,don'tyou,Red?"

"Well,onemananyhow,"shesaidwithasmile.

Nikolaileanedclose,andShelby,thinkinghewasgoingtotell,leanedtowardhim.

"No,"hewhisperedinherear.

MurdockappearedbeforeShelbycouldcryinoutrage.Hispresence,however,seemedtobesomesortofsignal.

"Areyoudoneeating?"Nikolaiaskedsolicitously.

"Yes.AmIgoingtofindoutnow?"

"Yes.Justheadintothediningroom.They'rewaitingforyou."

Shelbystoodtoleave,butNikolaigrabbedherforakissbeforeshecouldgetaway.

"Havefun,"hebidherwithasmile.ShelbyfollowedMurdockfromtheroom.

Whatshefoundinthediningroomwasthelastthingsheexpected.

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"Surprise!"thewomenshouted.

Standingaroundahugetablestackedwithdecoratingsuppliesofeverykindwere hermother, hermother-in-law, the queen regent, all the ladies from herBiblestudy,andeventhequeenmother.InamatterofsecondstheyhadbroughtShelbyintotheroom,eachonetalkingthirteentothedozen.Itwasn'ttwohoursbeforesheandNikolaileftforthelake;itwasmorelikefour.

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"Sowhatdidyouchoose?"Nikolaiaskedalmostassoonastheywereinthelimo,hishandalreadyhavingclaimedShelby's.Eventhoughitwasjustbeforenoon,theywereintheformallimo,givingthemaddedcomfortandprivacyforthedrivetothelake.

"Well,Ilikethenavyinyourroom,"Shelbybegan.

"Ourroom,"Nikolaicorrected.

"Ourroom,"Shelbyrectified."SoI'mnotmakingmanychangesinthere,butmyoldbedroomwillhaveacontrastingnavyprinton thewallsandwindows,

withcranberryaccentstogowithmymahoganytrimandfurnishings.Howdoesthatsound?"

"Beautiful. I was thinking that enlarging the door between the two roomsmightbenice.Wouldthatworkwithyourplans?"

"Ithinkso.Ihadn'tthoughtofit,butadoubledoorwouldbelovely."

"Oakonmysideandmahoganyonyours."

"Cantheydothat?"

"Withveneers,yes."

Theword veneer stopped Shelby for amoment. She had just thatmorningbeenaskingtheLordtohelphertalktoherhusbandaboutsomethingsthatwereonher heart.At times she didn't feel shewas completely herselfwithNikolaiandwonderedifthatconstitutedaveneer.

Sheglancedinhisdirection,buthewasn'tlookingather.Therewasnowayhecouldn'tknowthatsheheldbackfromhim;

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hewastooastuteforthat.Buthowdidshetellhimshewantedtochange?

"Feelfreetotakeanap,"Nikolaisaidashelaidhisheadbackagainsttheseat."I'mgoingto."

"Tiringmorning?"

"Urnhm"wasallNikolaihad tosayon thesubject. In truth,he thought theeveningmightbemore tiringandknewhewouldneedeveryounceof resthecouldget.HeonlyhopedShelbywouldbeuptoitaswell.

Itwasachillynight,soafirepoppedandcrackledinthefireplace,castingawarm glow on the couple who sat side by side on the large sofa at the lakehouse.Thestaffhadalldisappearedafterdinner,Nikolaihavingtoldthemthatifheneededsomethinghewouldcall,andnowtheroyalcouplesatinsilence.Onewasalittletiredandcontemplatinganearlybedtime,theotherwasbusytryingtocontrolthewildracingofhisheart.

ShelbywasstaringabsentlyintotheflameswhenNikolaiturnedtoher.

"Iloveyou,Shelby"hesaidsoftly.

Foramomenttheprincessdidn'tmove.Shesatupalittle,laybackagain,andthenturnedtohim.

"Whatdidyousay?"

"Iloveyou."

Shelby searchedhis eyes, her breath growing rapid overwhat she saw.Sheturnedfullytoherhusband,workingtotampdownthepanicrisingwithinher.Whenherhandshadgrabbedthefrontofhisshirt,shesaid,"Why,Nicky?Whytodayandnotyesterday?"

"Ilovedyouyesterdaytoo,"heexplainedgently."Andformanydaysbeforethat,butthetimingtotellyouwasallwrong.I

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wantedushere,awayfromthephoneanddistractions,sowecouldtalkaboutit."

"Idon'twant to talkabout it,"shesaid,panicnowevident inhervoice.Shebegantoscramblefromthesofa,butheputhisarmsaroundher.

"Shelby,don'trunfromme,"Nikolaiwhisperedgently."I'mstillthesamemanwhowaswithyouin thehospital. I'mstill thesamemanwhoholdsyouwhenyoucryandputsyou tobedwhenyou're too tired tomove. I'mstill the samemanwhofellasleepinthecarandprobablysnoredallthewayuphere."

Shelbylookedintohiseyesagain,herbreathinglabored.Finallysheadmitted,"I always thought themost terrifying thingwouldbe to lovealone,but this isworse.Whatif1can'teversaythewordstoyou?WhatifIneverfeelthem?"

Nikolaisettledheralittlemorecloselyagainsthimandwaitedforhertorelaxinhisembrace." Ido thinkyou'll feet them,butyoumightneed to realizewhat Idid,Shelby:Loveisachoice.Ididn'tknowIcouldloveyou,certainlynotthisswiftlyafterourmarriage,butthenIchosetoloveyou."

Shelbyblinked."Ikeephearingthat,butI'mnotsureIknowhow."

"Forme,itmeantgettingintoyourworld.Itmeantbeingthankfulforyouallday,everyday.Doesthatmakesense?"

Shelbynodded.

"Ialsocontinuedtoremindmyselfthatyourparentstrustedmetotakecareofyou,andIbegantotakethatresponsibilityveryseriously."

"Andwhenyouwenttoseethem,wasthatpartofit?"

"Yes.And I'm also trying to understand yourworld.Keep inmind, Shelby,that I didn't spend any time in your home. If we had gone through a normalcourtship,Iwouldhaveknownyouandyourfamilyverywell.I'vehadtodothisbackward."

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"ButIaminyourworld!"Shelbysuddenlyburstout."I'veseeneveryphotoalbum andscrapbook yourgrandmothers have. I've seen you on ponies and atyourfirstskeetshoot."

Nikolai smiled. "It isn't going to be the same for you, Red.You are inmyworld, but I think your heart has beenwaiting for a signal fromme. I'm nowtryingtogiveyouthat."

Shelby wanted to fly from his arms again. The pressure felt horrible. Shedidn'tknowifshecouldexplainit,butitfeltasthoughshe'dbeengivenatimerthattickedoffthesecondsveryslowlyinherear.Shelby'shandcametoherfaceasshetoldherselftobreathe.

"I'mgoingtofail,"shesaidsoftly.

"Whywouldyousaythat?"Nikolaiasked.

Shelbylookedathim,surprisedthathe'dheardher.Allshecoulddowaslickherlipsandstareathim.

"Thisisnotsometest,Shelby,notatall.Ifanyone'sfailed,andIdon'tknowthatwehave,it'sIwhohavedonethefailing."Helookedhelplessforamoment."Maybe I should have found a way to tell you sooner, but then the accidenthappenedandIwasafraidthatyou-"

"Youlovedmebeforetheaccident?"

"Yes."Hekissedhersoftly."AndIlovedyouevenwhenIfoundoutaboutthebabybutyoudidn'ttellme.AndIlovedyouwhen-"

"Youknewaboutthebabybeforetheaccident?"

Nikolainodded."Yourparentstoldme."

Shelby tried to take it in. "All this time.Youkneweverythingall this time.Whydidn'tyoutellme?"

Nikolaismoothedthehairfromherbrow.Heneededtoseethelittlescarthatsatabovehereyebrow.Itwasagoodreminder.

"Shelby, I almost lost you. You could have bled to death. You're just nowstartingtofeellikeyourselfagain.Whatkindofselfishmonsterdoesthatmakeme if Ihaveanagenda tocoverwithyou, andnomatterhow fragileyouare,we'regoingtogooverit?"

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Shelby looked intohiswonderful face, so close toher own.His eyesdidn'tgiveawayhisheart likehersdid,but theywereoftenfullofcaring,caringforher.Rightnow theywere fullofyearning-yearning that shewouldunderstand.Andshedid.

"Thankyou,"shesaidsoftly,leaningtokisshischeek.

"Thepleasureisallmine."

"Iwantmore than anything to startmakingpromises to you,Nick, but thatwouldbefoolish."Shelbyslowlyshookherhead."I'mconfusedrightnow."

Theprincemovedso thatShelbycouldstretchoutnext tohim.Heheldhercloseonhischest,wonderingwhenshewouldgainthepoundsshelostandhavefullcolorinherfaceagain.

/hadnowarningwithYvette,Lord,butmaybethisisYourwayof tellingme1won'thaveher.Ormaybeit'sjustYourwayofshowingmethat1couldchoosetolove.Icanhardlybearthethoughtofnothavingher,butYouknowbest.

"Whatareyouthinking?"Shelbyaskedsuddenly."Youfeeltense."

"I'm thinking about your health and askingmyselfwhat Iwould do ifGodwouldaskmetogiveyouup."

Shelbymovedsoshecouldseehisface."You'realwaystellingmenottorushthehealingprocess."

"And I don't want you to, but you're still a little thin, and sometimes theimaginationdoescrazythings,especiallynowthatIloveyou."

"Andthistimeyoupicturedraynevergettingbetteranddying."

"Thataboutsumsitup.IfI'mbeinglogicalandnotemotional,IcanhonestlysayIdon'tthinkGodhasthatforus,butifIholdontoyoutootightly,Icanlosemyfocus."

Shelbysettledbackagainsthim."Youalwayssaytherightthing,Nick."

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"Oh,Shelby,"hesighed,"youknowbetterthananyonehowuntruethatis."

Shelbyhadnothingmore to say to that.Shehadbeenso tired,butnowshewaswideawakeandreadytotacklethisproblemoflovingherspouse.Shelbywasgoodwithproblems;shealwayshadbeen.Shewouldhandlethisandloveherspouse.Thatwasalltherewastoit.

"WhydoIgetthedistinctimpressionthatyou'replottingsomething?"Nikolaiaskedsoftly.

"Because]am."

"Areyougoingtotellmewhatitis?"

"No.Atleastnotnow."

Nikolai angled his head until he could see her face, but other than adeterminedfrown, itgavenothingaway.Hefiguredthebest thinghecoulddowasprayforher.Tenminuteslaterhechangedthattothebestthinghecoulddoforherwasgethertobed.Shewasasrelaxedasacatandnotansweringtothesoundofhisvoice.Thenapinthelimohadbeenhoursago,andtheprincewas

tired as well. Nikolai lifted his wife's limp form, wishing the stairs to thebedroomwerenotquitesosteep.

ShelbywokeonSundaymorningtofindherselfalone.Theclocktoldhershehadplenty of time to get ready for church.Draggingon enough clothes to bepresentable,shemadeherwaydownstairs,surprisednottofindNikolaiaround.Shedidn'tspothimuntilshe'dtakenhercoffeeontothedeck.Hewasdownbythewater,notwalkingorskippingrocks,juststanding,hisgazeacrossthelake.Shelby's first temptation was to join him, but in watching him, she had theimpressionhewasenjoyinghissolitude.

What if he's thinking of Yvette?her mind asked without warning. With theknowledgethatNikolailovedher,shewasbeing

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tempted to doubt him. Shelby worked to put her thoughts aside andconcentrateonhowthankfulsheneededtobe.Yvette lingeredinhermindbutnotinanegativeway.Aglanceattheclocktoldhertheconversationshewantedto have about Nikolai's first wife would have to wait until after church. Shemovedbackupthestairstoshower,remindingherselfthatshehadallweektotalktoNick.

"It's hard to believe we go home tomorrow," Nikolai said conversationallyover breakfast five days later-five days that had passed with unbelievableswiftnessforShelby.Shehadenjoyedherself,wasveryrestedandreadytogohome,butstillhadnottalkedtoherhusbandaboutwhatwasonhermind.Shemadeherselfopentheconversationandignorethefearinsideofher.

"HowdidyoumeetYvette?"

Nikolai blinked at her in surprise but recovered swiftly and said, "ShewasvisitingPendaranwithherfamilyfromFrance."

"Andshewantedtomeettheroyalfamily?"

"No.Therewasaspecialsongserviceatchurch,andweendedupsittingnexttoeachother.Ourmothersgottotalking,andwhileveryembarrassed,webothstoodbyuntilIgotupthenervetopracticemyFrench.Theyhadjustarrivedinourcountry,soIsawhereverydayforthenextweek."

"Andbythetimesheleft,youwereinlove."

"I was smitten all right, but it was the first time I'd ever really fallen foranyone.Most of the kids I knew I'd grown up with, so they were more likefamily.Myfather remindedmeof thatandcautionedme to take it slowly,butYvetteand Ididwrite toeachother from thedayshe leftPendaran,and that'swhenIknewitwastherealthing."

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Shelbynoddedandfellsilent.Nikolaiknewtherewasmoreonhermindandmadehimselfwait.Thepaperwasstillinhishand,buthiseyeswereonher.

"Howdoyoulovetwowomen?"sheaskedatlast.

Nikolai smiled. "It helpswhen they're both easy to love, Shelby."His headtipped in thought. "It's funny, but I can't picture Yvette and me growing oldtogether.YoungasIamnow,shestillfeelslikethewifeofmyyouth.You,ontheotherhand,aregoingtobehere.WhatweshareissodifferentfromwhatIsharedwithYvette,andIdon'thaveanydesiretogobackwardintime.I'msorryforYvette'sfamily-Iknowtheystillmissher-andIthinkofhertoo,butyou'reallIwant.Almostayearagowhenwemarried,Iwouldneverhavebelievedthat,butit'sverytruetoday."

Shelbynoddedbeforeadmitting,"I'vewantedtoaskyouaboutitallweek.Iletsomuchtimegoby."

"AreyouafraidI'llbeupsetifyoumentionher?"

"Yes.Younevertalkabouther,soldidn'tknow."

"I don'tmention her for fear that you'll think she's constantly onmymind.She'snot.Youare.I'mmorethanhappytoansweryourquestions."

"IfearthatIdothingsdifferentlyandyouwon'tlikethat,"Shelbywasabletosay."I'veneverbeenaprincessbefore,andIfindmyselfthinkingthatYvettehaditdownpat."

"Onthecontrary.Shewasquiteshyandnowherenearaswillingasyouaretomakepublicappearances.Shewasgettingbetter,butatfirstitwastorturetobeinvitedtoballsandparties.Ievenwentthroughatimeofangeratyoubecause

everyone liked you so fast. I thought they might be comparing Yvette in anegativelight,butthatwasn'ttrue.Noone'severcomparedthetwoofyou."

"Exceptyou."

"I have, Shelby, but not the way you're thinking. I don't look at yourinadequaciesandthinkYvettecouldhavedonebetter.In

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fact,youhandlethingsbetterthanshedid.Ifanyoneismoresuitedtobetheprincessthanyouare,I'veyettomeether."Nikolaismiledather."Myparentsknewjustwhattheyweredoing."

"Wereyouveryangryatthemforatime?"

"Notbeforeweweremarried,butafterwardIwas.Theywantedmetomakemoreofaneffort,andrightlyso,butIrefused."Nikolailookedhersquarelyintheeye."I'mpayingforthattoday."

Shelbyshookherhead."Idon'tknowwhatyoumean."

"Youwereonyourwaytolovingme,Shelby,I'msureofit.ButIcouldn'tsaythosewords,soyoupulledback."

Shelbywasstunnedbythisannouncementbecauseshethoughthemightverywellberight.Shehadbeenlookingforsignsinhimanddidn'tevenknowit.Themorning shewoke early andwatched him sleep came tomind. She learned amomentlaterthathismindwasonthesamemorning.

"Do you remember when I asked you what I did that made you feelinadequate?"

"Iwasjustthinkingofthat."

"Thatwasthefirst timeIwenttoseeyourmother.Ifeltadesperateneedtolearntoloveyou.Shetoldmeaboutyourgrandmotherandhowshemarriedoutofneedinsteadoflove.ShealsotoldmenottoforgetYvettebuttomakeroomforyou.That'swhat I'vedone,Red; I'vemaderoominmyheart foryou.Andnowyoujustaboutfillit."

"Oh,Nicky,"Shelbysaidastearsfilledhereyes."Idon'tknowwhattodo."

"Whymustyoudoanything?"

"BecauseIneedtolearntoloveyou.Ineedtochoosetoloveyou."

Nikolai'sheadwentbackashelaughed.Shelbygawkedathim.

"Ican'tbelieveyou'relaughingatthis"

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The prince smiled. "If you could only see your earnest face, Red. You'reboundanddeterminedtodothis.That'snotwhatI'mlookingfor."

Shelbylookedcompletelyatsea,andNikolaireachedforherhand.

"Listentome,Red.I'vedonealotofthinkingaboutthis.Ican'timagineyourcareofmebeinganymorewonderfulthanitalreadyis.Yougooutofyourwaytoseeaftermycomfortandneeds.Youmakeyourselfavailableatamoment'snotice.You'recarefulwhatyousay,incaseI'llbeupset."

Shelbywasstillstaringathim,andNikolaigaveherhandalittlesqueeze.

"Thewordswouldbenicetohear,Shelby,buttheydon'tmakeorbreakwhatwehavehere.Don'ttryto loveme, justkeepondoingwhatyou'redoing.KeepgrowingintheLord.Andkeeptalkingtomelikeyoudidjustnow.Getmadatme ifyouneed to, tellmewhenyoudoordonot like something, letme intoyourworldasmuchasyou'reable,andalwaysbehonestaboutthewayyoufeel.Everythingelsewilltakecareofitself.Godwillseetothat."

Fortheumpteenthtimethemanhadrescuedher.Shehadsetupastandardinhermindthatwasherown,notGod'sandcertainlynotherhusband's.Shefeltherselfrelaxingwithrelief,almosttothepointofcrying.

"Youcancryifyouwantto"Nikolaisaid,andShelbylookeduptoseethathiseyesweremoist.

"Whydoyouwanttocry?"

Nikolai could only shrug. How did a man explain something he didn'tunderstand?Helovedthiswoman.Itwasn'tsomeskiparound-the-room,lighter-than-airfeeling,althoughhe'dhadsomeofthat.ItwasjustknowingthatshewastheoneGodhadgivenhim.Shewastheonewhocouldfillhisheart,whomhe

couldcherishandgrowwithuntiltheywereold.

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"Howaboutawalk?"theprinceasked.

"Thatsoundsnice.I'llgetmyshoes."

Nikolaihad togethis shoes too.He followedShelbyup the stairs, thinkingnot for the first time that she always smelled nice. Sometimes it made himpassionate, and sometimes he just wanted to hold her. Nowwas such a time.Shelby asked him what the hug was for, hut Nikolai never did answer. Hestrokedhercheek,winkedather,andwenttoputhisshoeson.

"IthoughtNikolaiwouldbewithyou,"thekingsaidwhenShelbyjoinedhimandthequeenforbreakfast."Didheknowhewasinvited?"

"Yes,buthe'sabitofabeartoday."

Pendaran'srulingcouplebothblinkedather.

"Nickyinabadmood,"thequeenmused."That'snotlikehim."

"He'sgettingacold,"Shelbysaidmatter-of-factly.

Thekingfoundhimselfsmiling.Hisdaughter-in-lawsoundedlikeone-halfofanoldmarriedcouple.

"Washegoingtorest?"Rafeasked.

"I think so."Shelby's voicewas still quite calm. "I left him scowling at theclockwhenitbuzzedforthefourthtime."

Erica broke out in laughter at this point. She had the feeling that therewasmore to this than Shelby was telling, but she didn't expect her to tell. Everymarriedcouplehadtheirlittlesecrets.Themysterywasonlyaddedto,however,when Nikolai showed up about 20 minutes later and scowled at his wife.Shelby's placid expressionwas comical to watch, andwhen the two shared alook,itwasobviousshefeltshehadtheupperhand.

"Areyounotfeelingwell,Nick?"hismothercheckedwithhim.

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"IthinkIhaveacoldcomingon."

"That'snotlikeyou,Nick.Younevergetsick."

ThatNikolai hadhad that same feelingdidn't reallyhelp all thatmuch.Hisheadwas full,andhiswifehad teasedhim.Heknewhehad toapologize,butrightnowhewascrabbyanddidn'twantto.Hewarmedupabitoverbreakfast,buthewasfeelingawful,andwhenhetalked,hisheadsoundedstuffed.

"We haven't had a chance to see you since your anniversary," the queenmentionedatonepoint."Didyoudosomethingfun?"

"Wewentouttodinner,"Shelbyfilledin,"andthentoFarmDaysFair.Itwasfun."Shelbylookedoveratherhusband,whowasstillrathersilent."Well,Ihadfun,"shesaid.

"Ididtoo"headded,knowinghewasgoingtohavetomakeamends.AtfirstShelbyhadlookedsmilingandmischievous.Nowshewaslookinguncertain.Hewasgladwhenhisparentsbothlefttheroomsohecouldhaveawordwithher.

"I'msorryaboutmymood."

"I'msorryIteasedyou,"Shelbyreturned,justascontrite.

Nikolailookedather."WouldyoureallymovebacktoyouroldroomifIgetacold?"

Shelbysmiled."Notforacold,butmaybeforabadmood."

Nikolai's lopsided smile appeared.He felt awful, but thatwasno excuse.Amanwasn'tallowed to takeabadmoodoran illnessoutonhiswife-it simplywasn'tanoption-buthehadtreatedherasthoughitwas.

"Whydon't Iheadoutafterbreakfastandgetsomecoldmedicineforyou?"Shelbyasked.

"Ithink1havesome,andifIdon't,Murdockwill."

"Whydon'tyoutakeit?"

"Itmakesmesleepy."

"Well,isn'tthatwhatyouneed?"

"Ihaveameeting."

Shelby'slookwaspointed.

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"Idon'tfeelthatbad,"Nikolaidefendedhimself,buthisdenialsoundedweak,eventohisownears.

"That'snotthepoint,"Shelbysaid,anedgetohervoice.Havingworkedinahospital,shehadastrongopiniononthissubject."Ifyougoout,you'regoingtospreadyourgerms.Noonewillthankyouforthat."

With his muddled head making it hard to think, Nikolai hadn't evenconsideredthat.

"IthinkI'llgobacktobed."

"ShallItellMurdocktocancelthingsforafewdays?"Shelbyoffered.

"Just today," theprinceallowed, thinkinghedidn'twant tobabyhimself toomuch.Hehadn'tcountedonhiswife.Shelbycanceledallofherappointmentsaswell,andeverytimehewoke,shewasclosebywithadrinkorsomethingelsehemightneed.Shesmelledasgoodasever,andhercoolhandsonhiswarmskinweresomethinghecouldgetusedto inahurry.Hethought that ifShelbywasgoingtobehisnurse,hemightstayinbedfortherestoftheweek.

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Shelbygaveupwaitingforherhusband.Hehadsaidhewouldbelate,butshehoped he would surprise her. It didn't happen. She didn't knowwhat time heclimbed intobed,butbecause she'dbeenanticipatinghimarrivinghome fromhistripforseveralhoursbeforesheslept,hewokeher.

"Hi,"shesaidsoftly,comingwideawakeandwantingtotalk.

"Hi,Red."Nikolai'shoarsevoicetoldofhisfatigue."Sorrytowakeyou."

"It'sallright.Howdiditgo?"

"Good,good.I'lltellyouallaboutitinthemorning,"hesaidasheblewakissinherdirection.

"Okay."

Shelbywaited, thinking he didn't reallymean it, but justmoments later sheheardtheevensoundofhisbreathing.Shelaystillforamoment,notwantingtodisturbhimbutalmostdesperatetotalk.Feelingterriblefordoingit,sherolledratherhard,stillstayingonhersidebutrockingthewholebed.Henevermovedamuscle.Shelbygaveupwithasigh.Thealarmwassetforanearlyhour.Shewasmeetingherfatherforbreakfastandthenhadafulldayonthecalendar.Ittook some time, but she eventually fell back to sleep, hoping as she did thatNikolaiwouldbewideawakecomemorning.

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Nikolaiwokeslowly thenextmorning,hisbody tellinghimhehadnothadenoughsleep.Hehadnotbeenable togetcomfortable in the limoon thewayhome,andbythe timehe'dreachedthepalace,hehadbeenmiserable.HehadhatedtowakeShelby,buthewouldmakeituptoherthismorning.Itwasakeendisappointment to find himself alone. He reached across the bed before heunderstoodthatshewasgone,andthatwaswhenhefeltthepieceofpaper.Hesmiled,surethatshewastellinghimwhereshewouldbe.I'mpregnant.The twowordsjumpedoutatNikolaisofastthatheliterallystarted.

"Shelby"hecalledurgently,prayingthatshewasinthebathroom.Butashewasalreadyonhisfeetandmovingtowardthatdoor,hecouldseeshewasnot.Thenextstopwasheroldroom,andthatwasjustasempty.Withinsecondshewasonthephonetohishouseminister.

"Murdock,whereistheprincessthismorning?"

"Shewasgoingtohavebreakfastwithherfather,andthenshehadtobeatthebotanical gardens. From there she had to go straight to the care center for aspecialmeeting."

Nikolaisighed.

"Mayhelpyou,sir?"

"Yes. Figure out exactlywhere she is and order the car. I'll be ready in 20minutes."

"Emergencystatus,sir?"

"No,butalittleurgencywouldbegreatlyappreciated."

"Rightaway,sir."

Nikolaiwasreadyandwaitingforthelimowhenitarrived,andalthoughnowordswerespoken,heknewthatMurdockwouldhavetoldIvanwheretohead.He was glad to see it was the botanical gardens. There was more chance ofcatchingheralonethere.

Fiveminutes laterNikolai thought theLordmusthaveknownhowmuchheneededtotalktohiswife.Shewaswalkingalongthe

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pathswithasmallgroupofgardenlovers,allofwhomsmiledandgreetedtheprince but who also moved discreetly ahead after the pleasantries wereexchanged.

Shelbykeptmoving,albeitslowly,lookingatherhusband'sprofilefromtimetotime.Nikolaiputhishandsbehindhisbacktokeepfromreachingforherandbeganspeakingasifhehadallthetimeintheworld.

"Thisisaprettybloom,"hecommentedaboutthebrightpurpleblossomtheywerepassing.

"Yes.That'saconeflower.Mymotherhassome."

"Mothersarewonderfulpeople,"Nikolaisaid.Shelbysmiledjustastheprincecastalookinherdirection."Ifoundaninterestingnoteinmybedthismorning,"hecontinued,"butnowife."

"Didyou?"

"Umhm.Itwas informative,butI foundmyselfrathergladthatmyheart isstrong."

Shelbyputahandtohersmilingmouth.

"Sotellme,Red,onyourlistofimportantpeopletocall,whoelsehaveyoutold?"

"Well.,." Shelby's tonewas instantly teasing; she'd been doing a lot of thatsincethey'dbeenat thelake."I toldKrisrightaway.Iknewhewouldwanttotake special care ofme.And then themailmanwalked bywith the post, so Iwhisperedinhisear.ThenIsawamaninthepark,andhelookedasthoughheneededalittlecheeringup,soIgavethegoodnewstohimtoo.Andofcourse,Iannouncedittotheentiregardenclubthismorning."

Shelbylookedupnowwithmischievouseyes,andNikolaicametoastop.

"Youhavebeenaverybadgirl,"hetoldher.

Shelbysmiled."Iwantedtotellyoulastnight,butyoufellasleepsofast,andthenIhadtobegonesoearlythismorning,andyouwerestilloutcold."Shelbychuckled."Ievenbouncedaroundonthebedinthemiddleofthenight,butyoudidn'tmove."

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Nikolaismiledbeforehesaidverysoftly,"Howareyou?"

"I'mfine."

"Areyousureaboutit?"

"Yes.Ididthesametestaslasttime,andIfeeldifferentagain."

"When,Red?"Nikolaiaskednow."Whendidithappen?Thelake?"

Shelby shookher head. "I don't think that long ago."Again she laughed. "Ithinkaroundthetimeyouhadyourcold."

Nikolai's smile was huge. "Youwere a great nurse." He laughedwhen sheblushed to the rootsofherhair. Itdidn'thappenasoftenanymore,buthe stilllovedtoseeit.

The group had come full circle by now and was headed back their way.Nikolaididhave toseesomeoneafter lunch,buthe trailedhiswifeduringhisfreetimethatday,waitingforherappointmentstoend.Itwasafterdinnerbeforehegotheralone,heldherclose,andtoldherhelovedherwithallhisheart.Theyspenttheeveningtalkingaboutbabiesandbabynamesandmakingplanstohaveallfourparentsoverfordinnertogivethemthegoodnewsallatonce.

"HaveIlostyou?"Tobyaskedtheprincequietly.ThetwomenweresittinginToby'shomeoffice.

"No. I'm just flabbergasted. I'm thrilled, but I'm also shocked. PamOwenscametoChristlastnight?"Nikolaiclarified.

"Yes.Shecalledmeaboutaproblemwiththewater,andwhenIgotoverthereIcouldseeshe'dbeencrying.Iassumedthatthewaterandallthepressuresofactingasaparent toPennyandPeterwerejustgettingtoher.Thatwasn't itatall.Hersupervisoratworkjustlearnedthathehascancer.There'snothingtheycando,buthe'snotafraidbecauseheknowswherehe'sgoing."

"Whoisit?"

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"HarlandHayes.Ithinkyou'vemethim."

"Ishemediumheight,withglassesandsalt-and-pepperhair?"

"Yes,that'stheman."

"AndPamclearlyenjoyshimasaboss."

"She loveshim.She'sutterlycrushed thathe'sdyingandangry thathe'snotupsetaboutit.Thatledtoourtalkingaboutmybelief,andsherealizedthathertearswere rooted in fear.Shepicturedherselfdying thewayher fatherdid,orgettingcancer,andsheknewthatshewaslost.IledhertoChristwhilewesatonherfrontporch."

Nikolaistaredattheolderman.TheyhadbothcontinuedtheircontactwiththeOwens family. Progress had beenmade, but thiswas remarkable.Nikolai felthimselfstartingtosmileashisheartfullyrealizedwhatGodhaddone.

"There'smore,"Tobysaidashesmiledaswell."Petersatontheporchwithusand witnessed the whole thing. Penny was in her bedroom, but Peter nevermovedfromhisseatontheporchrailing.HiseyeswerehugewhenPamfinishedpraying. She went to him, told him she loved him, and gave him a hug. Hehuggedherbackbutwasutterlysilentduringthewholeexchange."

"Wow." Nick voiced the only word that came to his mind. This was sounexpected.HehadbeenprayingforPeterandmeetingwithhimforalongtimenow, not ever surewhen the next opportunitywould come to sharewith him.NowPeter'ssisterhadseenthetruth.

"TellherPmprayingforher,'"Nikolaisaid."Andifsheneedsanything,justask.I'lladmittoyou,Toby,thatI'vedoubtedaboutPeter'slittleheart,butIthinkthatitjustmightbeamatteroftime."

Theoldermancouldonlynod,suddenlyovercomewithemotion.

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"Thanks for callingme,"Nikolai said softly.The twomenembracedbeforeNikolaimadehiswayouttothedaylimo.Hecouldn'twaittogethomeandtellShelbythegoodnews.

Nikolaihadalwaysheard thatexpectantwomenwaddled,butashestoodinthedoorwayofthekitchenandwatchedhispregnantwifewalkabouttheroom,hethoughtshestillmovedlikeaswanonthelake.Itprobablyhelpedthatevenin her eighth month her stomach was not very extended. Daria had carriedShelbyandBricethesamewayandthoughtitwasbecauseShelbywastall.

"Well,hello,"Shelbysaidasshespottedherhusbandandcame tokisshim.He'dbeeninameetingallmorning."Wereyoulookingforme?"

"Notexactly,butI'mhungry,andIknewwhereyouwouldbe.'

Shelbysmiled.Shewasalwaysinthekitchenthesedays.Shehadn'tfeltatallsick in the first six months, but now, unless she was eating, she felt slightlyqueasy.

"I'mhavingtacos.Areyouinterested?"

"What,nofruit?"

"Nottoday."

Nikolaicameall thewayinto thekitchen,stillsurprised thatShelbydidnothaveaplatefulofpeaches,pears,apples,oranyothertypeoffruitshecouldgether hands on. She had craved them for weeks now. Before that it had beenmashedpotatoes,broccoli,andchocolate,thankfullynotmixedtogether.

"I am, however," Shelby added, "having chocolate cake for dessert.Doesn'tthatsoundgood?"

"Yes.IthinkI'lljoinyou."

"Forthecakeortacos?"

"Both."

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Shelbywentaboutpreparingthingsandsettingthetablefortwo.Nikolaihadwondered where Fran or Arlanda might be but didn't ask. Lately Shelby haddonesomeoutrageousthings,andheknewintimethathewouldlearn.

"Igavethestaffthedayoff,"shesaidsuddenly,asifreadinghismind.

"Wasthereareason?"heaskedfromhisplaceatthetable.

"Well,Ihaveallthisenergy,andIthoughtwhyshouldtheystayifIwanttocookandlookaftermyself?"

Nikolai knew verywell that they hadn't really "gone" anywhere. The northquadrant's staffwasmuchhappier stayingclose toandprotectiveof theirverypregnant princess. Almost as if he'd said the words out loud, Fran's facesuddenly appeared around a doorway at the end of the room. She took in thesceneandgrinnedattheprincebeforeduckingbackaway.

"Whatifyougettiredlater?"Nikolaiwishedtoknow.

"DoyouthinkIwill?"

"Youdoeverytimeyouletthestaffleave."

Shelbyturnedtolookathim,herfaceuncertainandthenclearing."Ido,don't

I?"

Nikolaismiledather."Ithinkthey'reallstillhere,Red.Whydon'tIjustaskthemtobeoncall?"

"Doyouthinkthey'llmind?"

"Ithinkthey'llberelieved.Theyliketakingcareofus,andyoudoneedalittleextracarerightnow."

Herbrowlowered ina frown."I've toldmyselfnot tobeababyduring thispregnancy.Ihateitwhenwomendothat."

"Andyouhaven'tbeen,notatall.Iwishyouwouldslowdownalittle,atleastwhenyou'refeelingtired."

Shelbynoddedbecauseshesuddenlywas.Sheturnedhacktothetacomeatinthepanandadjustedthetemperature.ShesighedverysoftlywhenNikolaicameupandputhisarmsaroundherfrombehind.Shedidn'tknowitcouldbelikethisbetweentwo

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people.Hewassotenderwithher,andthemoretimeshespentwithhim,themoreshewantedtoseehim.Shehadmissedhimthatmorningatbreakfastandnotbeenveryhungrybecausehe'dbeenaway.

"I'mhungry,"shesaidquietly,"orIthinkIwouldjustgotakeanap."

"Doboth.Illevencomeinandtalktoyouuntilyoufallasleep."

Shelbyturnedinhisarms."Mostwomendon'thavethis."

"Havewhat?"

"Theirhusbandsaround.Myfatherisgonealmostallday,butyoucomeandgo.Ilikethat."

Nikolaikissedher.Shehadneversaidthewordstohim,butheknewshefeltthem.Shehadtoldhimonetimethatshedidn'tlikelove-at-first-sightbooksormovies. She liked the ones where the couples moved slowly and were sure.Knowingherashedid,thiswasnosurprise.Shewasnotimpetuouswithmatters

of the heart. Itwas one of the things he lovedmost about her. She didn't saythingsuntilshe'dthoughtaboutthemandknewshemeantthem.

Healsolovedthefactthatshewasopentochangeandsuggestions,somethinghewasparticularlyglad forwhen they finished lunchandsheagreed toclimbinto bed. She fell asleep quickly, and Nikolai found himself wishing thatFebruary8wouldcomeverysoon.

"Ofallthings!"Shelbysaidindisgustjustalittlemorethantwoweekslater.Thecontractionhadeased,andshewasnowventingherfrustration.

"It's not as if you could help it, Red."Nikolai tried to reasonwith her, hisvoicemildinthemidstofherire.

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"But in themiddleofchurch,Nicky! Ididn't evengetall the sermonnotes,andnoweveryonewillbewaitingtohear.Iwantedthistobequiet-justbetweenthetwoofus."

Handsonhiswaist,Nikolai stared at her and rebukedher inquiet tones. "Ithink I need to remind you that you're not the only one involved here, Red.WhenSaturdaycameandwent,Iwasprettydiscouraged.Iwouldliketomeetthislittleperson."

Shelby'seyes roundedashervoice turnedcontrite. "Ididn'tknowyouwerediscouraged."

"Well,maybe that's toostrongaword,but I really thought thingswouldgetgoingrightonyourduedate,andwhentheydidn't,Iwasalittleletdown."

Shelby took his hand. "I'm sorry. I am just thinking of myself and the bigsceneourleavingmadeinthemiddleofthesermon."

Nikolainoddedandwouldhavespokenagain,butanotherpainhit.Theyhadgone straight back to the palace, butNikolaiwondered if they shouldn't havegonetothehospital.Hewasveryrelievedtohavehismothersuddenlycomein.

"Howareyou?"ShekissedNikolaiandthenShelby.

"Uncertain,"Nikolai toldher.WhenNikolaiexplainedwhathemeant,Erica

took over. She talked with Shelby, timed contractions, and even called thedoctor. Hours later she was still there when it was finally time to go to thehospital.Itwasnicetobeinthecompetentcareofthemedicalstaff,butitwasalmostmidnightwhenthedoctorspoketotheroyalcouple.

"Youhaveanunusual situation,Shelby, in that thebottomofyouruterus iscontractingupward and the top is pushingdown.Where it thinks it's going topushthisbaby,Idon'tknow,butwe'relookingatac-sectionhere."

"Isthebabyhurt?"Shelby'svoicequivered;shewasaboutdonein.

"No,thebabyseemstobeingoodshape,butIdon'tthinkdelayingisgoingtohelpabit."

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ShelbylookedtoNikolai,whowassittingclosetoherhead.Helookeddownandnoddedhishead.

"Youcan'tkeepthisup,honey."

Tearscametohereyes,butshemeantitwhenshesaid,"Whateverisbestforthebaby."

Those words set events into play for the next hour. All the Parkers werepresent, aswere the king andqueen,whenNikolai accompanied hiswife intosurgery.Seeminglyminuteslaterababy'scrywasheard.

"Aboy,"onenursesailedthroughandannounced."Everyone'sdoingfine."

Daria,whohadnotsleptsinceShelbyhadcalledherthemorningbefore,burstintotearsasshetriedtosignforJosiah.Josiahheldhiswifeandprayedforhisdaughterandnewgrandson.

Inside the deliver)' room,Nikolai was staring inwonder at the baby in thedoctor'sarms.

"Redhair,Shelby,"hesaidsoftly."Hehasredhair."

Shelbygaveaweaklaugh.Itwasallshecouldmuster.Justamomentlaterthenursebroughthimoverforthecoupletosee.Theybothlaughedathisgrumpyfaceandsqueakycry.

"Wouldyouliketocomewithmetocleanhimup,PrinceNikolai?"

"I think I will." Nikolai suddenly felt energized. "I'll be back." He kissedShelby and followed the nurse. Shelby let her eyes closewith a sigh. /did it,Lord.Ihadababy.ThankYouthathe'shere.ThankYouthatYouhadaboyforus. 1 pray that he will rule in wisdom, Father, and always look to You forstrength.

Shelby'shearthadneverbeensofull.Givenachoiceshewouldhaveprayedforanhour,butherbodyhadotherideas.Shefellintoadeep,blissfulsleep.

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"Whattimeisit?"Shelbyaskedsoftlyofthenursewhohadcomeintocheckonher.

"Almostfive.Howaboutsomejuice?"

"Thatsoundsgood."

ThenursehadonlyjustfinishedgivingShelbytheglassofcoolapricotnectarwhenNikolai'sheadcamearoundthecorner.

"IwashopingI'dfindyouawake"hewhisperedasheapproached.

Thereweren'tmanypeopleforwhomthenursewouldalterherschedule,butthis wasn't just any person-this was Pendaran's future king. As Nikolai cameclose and bent to kiss Shelby, the nurse rehung Shelby's chart on the wall,slippedout,andshutthedoor.

"You'reupearly,"Shelbysmiledathim.

"Thebedwaslonelywithoutyou."

Shelby smiled. "That's nice to hear, but I can't say that Imissed you," sheadmitted."Iwasasleepuntiljustafewminutesago."

"Good.Haveyouseenthebaby?"

"No.It'sa littlehard tobelievehe'sreallyout there.Theycamein thenightandwantedtoknowifIwantedtofeedhim,andIsaidhecouldtakeabottlefornow."

Nikolai chuckledover this. "Iknewyouwouldbe levelheadedand takemymother's advice."Thequeenhad toldShelby to takeadvantageof thehospitalstaff.You'll beon callwhen yougethome, dear.Let thenursesdo the jobwhileyouhavethechance.

"But,Nicky,"Shelbyreachedforhimasamomentofunrealityhither."Heisoutthere,isn'the?Noonetookhimoranythinglikethat?"

"He'sfine,"Nikolaiassuredher,hishandsmoothingthehairfromherbrow."He'sstillasleep,andthey'llbringhiminassoonashewakes,"

Shelby sighed and lookedup at her husband. "It's such amiracle,Nick; hisbirthissuchamiracle."

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Nikolaismiled.ThatwastheverywordhespoketoGodaboutwhenhewenthomeafterthebabywasborn.

"Thankyou,Shelby,"henowsaid,hiseyesonhiswife."Thankyouforgivingmeafutureking."

Shelby smiled. "That was one of my first thoughts as well. The House ofMarkham,Nicky.Iloveknowingitwilllastformorethantwogenerations."

As if he knew hewas being spoken of, the nurse entered the roomwith afussingyoungprince.BothShelbyandNikolaiturnedindelightathispresenceandspentthenexthourfeedinghim,talkingtohim,prayingforhim,andtalkingofthewaytheirliveswouldchangebecauseofhim.Itdidn'tmatterthatbabieswereborneveryday.Itdidn'tmatterthattheirswasnotthefirstorlast.Hewasamiracletothem-asmall,dependantmiracle-andwithheartscommittedtobringhimuptoknowJesusChristashisownSavior,nothingelseseemedtomatter.

"Iheardaboutthebaby,"PetersaidaweeklaterashetookachairinNikolai'soffice.Hehadcomeespeciallytoseetheprinceandnowpushedoffthecarpetwithhistoeinordertoscootbackintotheslipperyleatherchair.

"Wehadababyboy"Nikolaisaidwithasmile.

"Toby toldme.My sister helpedme find something"Peter replied, his facesolemnasheleftthechairandplacedagiftonthedesk.

"Thankyou,Peter.Wouldyouliketogivethistotheprincess?"

Petershrugged."Youcanopenit."

Nikolai was not fooled by his nonchalant attitude. The boy wanted him toopenthegiftverybadly.

Nikolai left his desk to do the job.He came around, took the chair next toPeter's,andtorebackthepaper.Openingthebox

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revealedatinysuit,vest,bowtie,andall.ThehugesmilethatspreadacrossNikolai'sfacewasfrompuredelight.

"Thisisgreat.Lookatthatlittletie."

Peternoddedalittle,clearlypleasedbutnotwantingtoshowittoomuch.

Nikolaiturnedhisheadtowatchhim."Hewon'trememberwearingthisoutfit,Peter,butwe'llmakesureheknowssomedaythatyoubroughtittohim."

Peternodded,hisfacestillpleasedbutonitswaytothoughtfulness.Nikolaiwasgrowingusedtohisswiftmoodchangesandwaited.

"Mysister'sgoingtochurchallthetimenowandtakingmeandPennywithher."

"Isshe?"

"Yeah."

"Yousoundasthoughyoudon'tlikeit."

"Idosometimes.Sometimesitmakessense,butnotalways."

"Well,ifiteverallmakessensetoyou,Peter,comeandexplainittome."

Thelittleboy'sbrowfurrowedashestaredupattheprince.

"Listentome,Peter,"Nikolaibeganverygently."IunderstoodthatIneededaSavior,andIbelievedinJesusChristtosaveme,butIdon'thavealltheanswers.YouaskmehowGodcouldgiveupHisSontodie.Myhumanmindcan'tquite

comprehendit.Idon'tunderstandalovethatbig,Peter,butIdoacceptit.Nowyou're trying tounderstand itall,andI'mgladyou'researching.Don'tgiveup,Peter.KeepaskingquestionsandlisteningtoPam,Toby,andme,andGodwillshowyoutheway."

Peternodded,andNikolaismiledathim.Hewaslearningthatsmalldropsonthepondhadthebiggesteffect.Ifhedidn'tkeepitshortandsweet,helosttheboy. But Peter kept coming back, and Nikolai kept seeing new interest andunderstanding.

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The two talked forawhile longerand thenPeter saidhehad togo.Nikolaisawhimonhisway,confidentthatGodwasatworkinhisyoungheart.NikolaihopedandprayedthatPeterwouldstayopentothetruth.

I'veneverseenanythingsoperfect,Shelbytypedintotheteletypemachinetoherfather.Theyhadbeenhomefromthehospitalforaweek,andshecouldnotgetoverthewonderofthisbaby.He'ssuchagoodbabytoo,Fa.Iexpectedhimtocrywhenheheardmetyping,buthe'sjustasquietasamouse.

Areyougettingenoughrest?Josiahasked.

Mostof the time. Inapand stillgo tobedearlier than I thought Iwould. Ihaven'ttriedthestairs,butIfeelgood.

I'mgladtohearit.You'vebeeninmyprayersalot,andofcourseIhavemygrandson'spictureupattheshop.YouandNickwillhavetobringhimtoseeitwhenyou'realluptoit.

We'llplanonit.Oh!IthinkI'dbettersignoff,Fa.I'llcallyoulater,okay?

Certainly.Iloveyou,andhugJosiahRafaelforme.

I'lldoit.Iloveyoutoo.

Shelby signed off and moved into the bathroom.When she came out, sherealizedthatshereallydidthinkthebabywouldhavecriedalready.Remindingherselfthatthewombwasaverynoisyplace,shestoppedherselffromtiptoeingandwenttoheroldbedroomtocheckonherson.ShecametoacompletestopwhenshefoundNikolaiensconcedintherockingchairthatsatnexttothecrib,

theinfantprinceinhislap.

"Andsomeday,Siah,"sheheardhimsay,"I'lltellyouallaboutthewayIfellin lovewithyourmother.Shedidn'tcometoChristuntilshewasa teen,but Ihopeyou'llunderstandasachild,like

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Idid.YoumustmarrysomeonewholovesChristtoo,Siah.It'sveryimportanttoGodthatweobeyHiminthis."

Shelby was not a stupid person. She had a normal IQ, but up to now thathadn't beenveryhelpful toher.With eyes that saw things clearly for theveryfirsttime,sheapproachedthemaninthechair.

Nikolaiglancedupandsmiledather."Isn'thesomething?"

"Yes," Shelby said softly, her eyes caressing Nikolai's bent head. "He'sincredible."

Nikolai looked up at her to smile again and found Shelby's eyes on him.Having fully expected her to be watching the baby with him, he paused andstaredather.

"Iloveyou,"Shelbysaidsoftly.

Nikolaifrozeforthespaceofseveralheartbeats.Hethenstood,putSiahinhiscradle,andcamebacktoShelby.

"Sayitagain."

"Iloveyou."

Nikolai'shandmoveduptoframeherface."Ihonestlycan'tthinkofasinglethingIwouldwantyoutododifferently,Red.Youshowyourlovetomeeveryday,andforthatreasonI'venotneededthewords."Nikolai'seyessearchedhersfor amoment. "But Imust tell you,"henowwhispered, "they'rewonderful tohear."

"Oh,Nicky."Shelby'sarmswentaroundhim,andsheheldonasifshewouldneverletgo.Hewassowonderful.Shehadprobablylovedhimforalongtime,butnotuntil she'd seenhimsitting there,holding their sonand talking tohim

abouttheLord,didsheknowthatitwastimetosaythewords.

"You'renotupsetthatItooksolong?"

"No,"hesaidclosetoherear,hisownarmshugginghertightly."Thetiminghad tobe right, andas I said,you'vebeen saying it inyouractions for a longtimenow."

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289

Shelby moved back to look into his face. "But you've said it to me manytimes,andInevercould.Whyisthat?"

Nikolaismiled."Idon'tknow,andIcan'tsayasIcare."

Shelbyhadadetermined lookonher face, theone thatusually toldNikolaishehadaproblemtosolveandmustsolveit.

"Shelby?"

"What?"

"Lookatme."

Shelbydid.

"Don'tworryaboutit.AndImeanthat."

Shelbynodded,seeinghewasright.Shewasgoingupontiptoe tokisshimjustas thebabybegan to fuss.Nikolaimadeamove to letShelbygo,but sheheldon.

"Don'tyouwanttogethim?"Nikolaiasked.

"Both of ourmothers have toldme that crying is good for babies," Shelbysmiledandsaid,herhandgoingtothebackofherhusband'shead."Hecanwaitafewmoreseconds."

Notinahurrytogoanywhereatall,Nikolaikissedherrightback,thinkinghewouldn'thavearguedforthekingdom.

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ThePrincess

Epilogue

TwelveYearsLater

"Ithurts,"seven-year-oldJeremiahsaid.

Shelbyleanedtokissfirsthimandthenthetissuethatwaswrappedaroundhisfinger.

"Comeon,Jer,"Nikolaidirected,puttingahandtohisson'sback."We'llseeFranandgetyouallpatchedup,"

MotherandfatherexchangedaglancebeforeNikolailedthepatientaway.

"Well, now," Fran spoke as soon as the prince entered the kitchen. "What'sthis?"

"Icutmyfinger,"Jeremiahadmitted."Itouchedthesword."

FranshookherheadinlovingexasperationasMurdocklefthisnewspaperandcametoinspectthewound.

"It doesn't look too deep," he observed, andNikolai stood back and let thefaithfulservantsfussoverhisson.Jeremiahhadaflareforthedramatic-heandShelbyhadnoticeditoften-buthisheartwasbig,andallthestaffwastakeninby his round blue eyes and dark hair, much the way they'd enjoyed anotheryoungprincemanyyearsago.

"Ithinksomegauzewilldothetrick,"Fransaidcalmly.

Shewas likeasecondmother to thechildren,andNikolaicouldseehissonwasalreadyrelaxing.

Nikolaiwasn't quite so at ease.He had barely seen Shelby all day, and thesoonertheygotthisshowontheroad,thesoonerhe

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would.The candy tin appeared out of nowhere, held byMurdock's capable

hand,andNikolaiallowedJeremiahonepieceWithaprayerforacalmheart,theprincemadehimselfsitdownandwaitwhilehissonfinish

Areyouallright,Siah?"Shelbyaskedsoftlywhensheenteredthelargeparlorandfoundheroldestchildalonebythewindow

waited to tolookWASmotherbutdidn'tSpeak-Shelby' "What if I don't find awife to marry?" he asked softly, his eyes and hair so like his mother's, histhoughtfulmanneralsoaninheritancefromher.

"Well,"Shelbysaidslowly,tryingtofindherbearings."Itcouldbeaproblem,butIguessI'mnottooworriedaboutit."

"ButIonlyhaveuntilI'm26."

Shelbyhadtostopherselffromremindinghimthathistwentysixthbirthdaywasmanyyearsaway.Sheknewhewouldnotfindthishelpful,Insteadshesaid,"Thatverysubject isupfor reviewCouncil,Siah,buteven if it'snotchanged,Godwillprovide.Youneedtorememberthatithappensatalldifferenttimesforpeople.SomanykidsgoofftoBibleschoolandmeetsomeonethefirstyear,butPeterdidn't.Hedidn'tmeetJanieuntilhislastyear.Thereweretimeswhenhewasuncertainiftherewouldbeanyone,buthewaitedontheLord."

worriedPrin"ndded'HiS&CeSti"thouShtMbutnotthis7rmeSmethinS'Siah"Shdb-wenton-"Whatbrought

Siah looked disgusted and said of a second cousin, "Conroy has anothergirlfriend.She'sallhecantalkabout,andhe'sonlyayearolderthanme.'

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Shelbywellrememberedwhensomeofherfriendshadpairedoffandshehadfeltcompletelyleftout.

"You'regoingtothinkthisissodumb,Siah,butIwantedaphoneinmyroom.I beggedmyparents, and they finally said I could have one formy thirteenthbirthday.TheonlyproblemwasthatIwasjustpastmytwelfthbirthday.Iwishedthatwholeyear away,Siah. Itwas such amistake. I don'twantyou todo thesame thing. Enjoy being 12. And enjoynothaving a girlfriend. The time willcomeall too swiftly to talk about findingamate,buthavinganewgirl every

otherweekisnotthewaytogoaboutit.NomatterwhatConroysays."

Siahsmiledathismotherwhenshesmiledandleanedtokisshisbrow.Thesedaysshedidn'thavefartogo.Siahlookedasifhewouldcatchhisfatherinnotime. She stared lovingly at his precious face. She knew they would have tospeakofthisagain,butfornowhelookedmoreatpeace.HewaseveneagertojointhefamilyastheywaitedonNikolai,Jeremiah,andthekingandqueen.Thewholefamily, includingherparents,wasgoingout todinner.Shelbymadeherway over to her father and watched his conversation with their youngestdaughter,four-year-oldMardelle.

"I had to take a nap," her small arms signed, her face showing theinconvenienceofsucharequirement.

Tosiahsignedrightback,andShelbysmiledathiscommiseration.

Shelbyputhertwocentsinaboutlongingforanapthesedaysbutreceivednosympathyfromeitherperson.

Mardellewent on to say that she had found her favorite bear and that he'dbeenunderherbedthewholetime.Thisreported, itdidn't takelongforher towanderaway,andthatwaswhenShelbyspottedMardelle'soldersister.

"Watch this, Fa," Shelby said to her father. "I'm going to ask Ariane aquestion.Keepinmindthatshehasn'thadtogotothe

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bathroom in six years." Shelby called her over and proceeded to ask thepersonalquestionofherdaughter,whostoodwithherlegsveryclosetogether.

"No"came the standard reply,whereuponhermother satbackand staredather. Ariane was learning about being honest the first time she was asked aquestionandnotafteroneofherparentsgaveherapointedlook.

"Yes,Ido.Iforgot."

"All right. While you're using the bathroom, ask the Lord to help youremembernexttime."

Arianenoddedswiftlyandshotacrosstheroom.Theadultswatchedher.

"SherunslikeacertaintomboyIknewafewyearsago,"herfathersaid.

Shelbylaughed.

"Someonewantshismother,"Dariainterruptedassheapproachedwithfive-month-oldAlex.

"Oh,my,"Shelbylaughedagainwhenhersonwascloseenoughtounderstandthereason."Thankyou,Mother,"shesaiddrylyasshemadeherwayfromtheroom.

"I'mgladyoudidthisnow,"shetoldthebabyboywhosmiledatherindelight."Itwouldhavebeenabitawkwardattherestaurant."ShelbyhadjustputAlexonthechangingtablewhenNikolaicamein.

"Hi."Shelbywasgladtoseehimandputahandonherson'sstomachassheturnedtokissherhusband.

"Hi,yourself."Hekissedhertwice."Well,Alex,whathaveyoubeenupto?"He leaned over to pay attention to his son,who nearly turned inside outwithdelight.

"Thatshouldbeobvioustoyou,"Shelbysaid.

Nikolai'seyeslitmischievously."Ididn'twanttoassumeandembarrasshim."

"You'resothoughtful,"Shelbyteasedrightback.

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"Iam."Nikolai'ssmilewaswarm."Infact,I'msothoughtfulthatI'lldothisforyou."

Shelby'seyesroundedwithpleasureasshebackedawayandletNikolaitakeover.

"Allright,bigguy,"hesaidashefinishedthejobandlaidAlexonthecarpetforamoment. "You'reall set."Afterwashinghishands,Nikolaicameback tosettleAlex on his arm and turned to Shelby once again. She had taken a seatclosetothebaby.

"Areweallsetfordinner?"

"Ithinkso,"shesaidsoftly.

"Youdon'tsoundready."

Shelbystood."IjustrealizedhowmuchIwanttobealonewithyou.I'vebeenhuggedalldaybypeopleshorterthanIam,andeventhoughI'mlookingforwardtogoingoutformyparents'anniversary,rightnowIjustwantyou."

Nikolai wanted the same thing.With an arm around her waist, he bent hisheadandwhisperedsomethingsoftinherear.

"HaveItoldyoulatelythatIloveyou?"Shelbyasked,hereyessmilingintohisasherhandscameuptoNikolai'schest.

"Yes,youhave,butI'llhearitagain."

Shelbysmiled.Henever tiredofhearing it,andshenever tiredofsaying it.Shelby said it, just as a smile lit her face, her mind remembering that onlyrecentlyhermotherhadadmittedthatshehadspeculatedaboutShelby'sfutureon the very day she'd come to Christ. She would have to be certain to tellNikolai.

"Whatdoesthatsmilemean?"Nikolaiasked,notabletomissit.

"OnlythatIlikebeingtheprincess."

"I'mgladtohearyoustillwantthejob,"Nikolaisaidashetookherhandandtheymadetheirwayfromtheroom."Nooneelsewouldmakeithalfasfuntobetheprince."