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The sag awards 2014

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SAG AWARDS 2014
Transcript
Page 1: The sag awards 2014

SAG AWARDS

2014

Page 2: The sag awards 2014

JEWEL TONES Red, Green & Blue

Page 3: The sag awards 2014

Amy Adams

While I don’t love space-agey

cutouts, this is undeniably

awesome.

The colour is amazing on Amy,

and she’s got that demure retro

pin-up thing going on.

Page 4: The sag awards 2014

Elisabeth Moss

Meh, it’s fine.

She got up to accept her award

and said “s***!” right into the

mike, and everybody laughed. It

was obviously a rehearsed

moment that was supposed to

look spontaneous. It bugged me.

Page 5: The sag awards 2014

Jane Krakwoski

Jane always looks like she’s in

character as Jenna from 30 Rock.

But this is nice, and her sleek bob

is cute.

Page 6: The sag awards 2014

Morena Baccarin

Amazing dress in a stunning

sapphire blue, but for some

reason the gap in the middle of

the bust bothers me. It almost

looks as of the dress is coming

apart or something. Distracting.

Page 7: The sag awards 2014

Holly Hunter

I couldn’t find a better picture of

this. It’s lovely, but boy did she

look thin.

Page 8: The sag awards 2014

Oprah

Oprah!

Page 9: The sag awards 2014

Sandra Bullock

I can’t decide whether this is cute

or too reminiscent of a

Christmas present.

Maybe I’m being too judgmental,

because who doesn’t like

Christmas presents?

Page 10: The sag awards 2014

Alfre Woodard

Alfre can’t go past a shiny frock,

and I can’t really blame her,

though I wish this looked a little

less like the kind of blingy

curtain a half-dressed cabaret

dancer might emerge from. It’s

not terribly flattering or age-

appropriate. The colour is

gorgeous, however.

Page 11: The sag awards 2014

Kelly Osbourne

As usual, I have no

comment.

Page 12: The sag awards 2014

Ariel Winter

Ouch. Just looking at this makes

my chest hurt.

Page 13: The sag awards 2014

Renee Bargh

Renee is some kind of Australian

person. Her coral/red dress

looked pretty in some pictures,

but what is up with that seam in

the middle?

Page 14: The sag awards 2014

Zoe Kazan & Paul Dano

I don’t necessarily love Zoe’s

dress (I’d cut off the bow), but

this couple generally just looks

adorable.

Page 15: The sag awards 2014

HARDWARE Bling, Deco Detail and

Bold Patterns

Page 16: The sag awards 2014

Claire Danes

The mosaic thing is intriguing,

but there’s way too much going

on here. The illusion netting at

the neckline detracts from the

blue. This might be something

that made more sense up close.

Page 17: The sag awards 2014

Jennifer Lawrence

I love Jennifer’s short hair,

but in this glitzy dress she

looks older than her years.

Like Ellen Barkin or

someone. She looks like a

person you would describe

as a “sassy broad.”

Page 18: The sag awards 2014

Malin Akerman

On someone with bolder

colouring this might have looked

interesting, but Malin’s features

are just swamped by the busy

pattern and colours. And what’s

up with her hair? Is it grey?

Page 19: The sag awards 2014

Helen Mirren

Not necessarily one of my

favourite looks, but she is

stunning.

Page 20: The sag awards 2014

Lena Headey

I kind of like this.

I do not like the topknot with it.

Page 21: The sag awards 2014

Katrina Bowden

I wouldn’t be drawn to this on its

own, but on Katrina it does look

beautiful, and fits perfectly.

This would be the way to do

gold ornamentation without

drawing attention away from

hair and face.

Page 22: The sag awards 2014

Rita Wilson

Rita Wilson always dresses like

she’s made of money, which she

is. I rarely love anything she

wears, and this is no exception. It

has black racing stripes down the

sides. I hate racing stripes. It

always makes me think of those

Adidas tracksuits.

Page 23: The sag awards 2014

Sophia Vergara

*yawn*

It’s very pretty. I’m just

unmoved.

Page 24: The sag awards 2014

Natalie Dormer

Natalie shaved half her

head for some reason.

This look as a whole

actually works. Ladylike

meets punk.

Page 25: The sag awards 2014

Julie Bowen

For some reason this calls to

mind the aesthetic details of a

1970’s Torana. I didn’t know I

even knew what a 1970’s Torana

looked like.

Page 26: The sag awards 2014

Rita Moreno

Remember how Coco Chanel

said “before you leave the house,

take one thing off?” I think she

would have told Rita Moreno to

take all but one thing off.

Seriously, the chinoiserie skirt

intrigues me. With a plain black

bodice, minimal jewellery, and

NO LEATHER, it might have

been something.

Page 27: The sag awards 2014

Stuart Brazell

Why is she called Stuart? Who

would do that to a child?

Page 28: The sag awards 2014

SLEEK NAVY There were enough figure-

hugging navy frocks to make up their own category.

Page 29: The sag awards 2014

Jennifer Garner

Flawless, but dull.

Page 30: The sag awards 2014

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

When I first saw this I thought

“She’s pregnant? Isn’t she fifty-

something?!?”

Turns out it’s an optical illusion.

She looks normal from other

angles. And yes, by “normal” I

mean “unpregnant.”

Page 31: The sag awards 2014

Mindy Kaling

I don’t think I would choose a

cowl neck for Mindy, but she

looks ever-so-pretty.

Page 32: The sag awards 2014

Sarita Choudury

I don’t know who Sarita

Choudhury is, but she looks like

unlike anyone else there, which

is a compliment. There’s

something very unique and

dignified about this Nanette

Lepore. I like it when people

dress as though they’re

above it all.

Page 33: The sag awards 2014

Anna Gunn

This looks like something an

‘Entertainment Tonight’

presenter would wear. It’s fine,

it’s just standard Hollywood red

carpet fare.

Page 34: The sag awards 2014

Anna Chlumsky

Anna’s physique looks very

Marilyn Monroe-esque in this.

It’s lovely, if a bit baggy across

the hips.

Page 35: The sag awards 2014

Julianne Nicholson

Hmm. I’m really not sure what’s

going on with the…drapes?

Tassels? But if you took them

away you’d be left with nothing

but an office-appropriate navy

shift dress and work shoes.

Shame, because she has a pretty

face and nice hair.

Page 36: The sag awards 2014

BBD (Big Black Dress)

Page 37: The sag awards 2014

Abigail Breslin

Okay, so she obviously needs to

get together with Ariel Winter

and work out what to do with a

DD+ bust.

Page 38: The sag awards 2014

Michelle Dockery

I’m surprised Michelle went so

wrong here after her pretty dress

at the Emmy’s. The deep

U-shaped neckline is

unflattering, the top looks like a

waistcoat, and the skirt looks like

flared pants. Personally I think

black and white is too severe for

Michelle’s complexion anyway.

Page 39: The sag awards 2014

Meryl Streep

A peasant dress? Meryl, you are

not a peasant! How many more

awards do you have to win

before you start dressing like…

Helen Mirren?

Page 40: The sag awards 2014

Emma Thompson

While the dress doesn’t wow me

(it looks casual), Emma was very

proud of her flat shoes, and I’m

glad someone is finally being

sensible. Except when she’s

photobombing famous people:

Page 41: The sag awards 2014

Melissa Rauch

I still don’t really know who

Melissa Rauch is, and I’d rather

type this very long sentence than

Google her to find out, but she

always looks like she’s dressed

for a high school prom in some

Midwestern town. This is

basically just a black satin bag

with a belt.

Page 42: The sag awards 2014

Sophie McShera

Sophie tends to go for really

modern frocks, slick hair and

vampish red lipstick to look as

little like Daisy from Downton

Abbey as possible. I do

sympathise, but I don’t think this

is her best look. It ages her.

Page 43: The sag awards 2014

Tina Fey & Alice Richmond

They both look gorgeous. Tina

looks amazing – I couldn’t get a

better picture, but this frock

flatters her beautifully and I

much prefer her with darker hair.

It might have looked less

widowish if she had worn it out,

but she’s very elegant here.

Page 44: The sag awards 2014

Sophie Turner

I really thought she was wearing

a crop top and a maxi skirt. In

fact it’s a beige belt, which looks

like an afterthought.

Page 45: The sag awards 2014

Cara Theobold

Cara is Daisy’s

coworker from

Downton Abbey. The

details on the dress are

very pretty, but she

too looks older than

she is. She should

have opted for a more

modern, youthful

hairstyle.

Page 46: The sag awards 2014

Jared Leto & Constance Leto

Jared Leto creeps me out, but his

mother looks pretty awesome.

Like a really elegant witch.

Page 47: The sag awards 2014

Ewan McGregor

Just in case you’re wondering if

Ewan McGregor is still

handsome.

(Yes.)

Page 48: The sag awards 2014

ETHEREAL Pale & shimmery, from

stunning to meh.

Page 49: The sag awards 2014

Emilia Clarke

Didn’t quite make my best

dressed list, but I can’t fault it. I

would have done her hair

differently, but the gown is sleek,

pretty and classic.

Page 50: The sag awards 2014

Isla Fischer

Again, there is nothing wrong

with this, but it lacks the wow

factor.

Page 51: The sag awards 2014

Gretchen Mol

I quite liked this on the red

carpet, but I’m not sure now.

The leg isn’t helping.

Page 52: The sag awards 2014

Hannah Simone

I find it hard to be objective

about Hanna Simone, because I

think she’s gorgeous, and

subsequently consider everything

she wears or stands near to be

gorgeous.

The frilly neckline and hair

might all be a bit much, but she

looks angelic, so I’ll give

her a pass.

Page 53: The sag awards 2014

Sarah Hyland

The blush colour with her rosy,

luminous makeup and loose,

wavy hair is very pretty, but the

gathering in the middle is weird

and off-centre. It looks like it’s

elasticated. Maybe if it had some

kind of diamante belt or

something?

Page 54: The sag awards 2014

Laura Carmichael

I’m really over topknots.

Page 55: The sag awards 2014

Natalie Emmanuel

A size too small and way too

skimpy in the bust to be

considered elegant.

Page 56: The sag awards 2014

Elisabeth Rohm

This looked more successful on

the red carpet than it does in

pictures, but it’s still probably a

lesser version of the already

average dress Jlo wore to

something last year. Elisabeth’s

hair is strange, too. Why are

people over-bleaching their hair?

Page 57: The sag awards 2014

Maria Menounos

I suppose it’s possible that if this

was on Diane Kruger or Natalie

Portman, they would look like

Greek goddess. Maria Menounos

looks exactly like the D-List

celebrity that she is.

Page 58: The sag awards 2014

Kaley Cuoco

Oh Kaley. She just never ever

gets it quite right, does she? This

looks a size too small, it skews to

the left, it’s already slipping

down, and somehow like

everything else she picks for the

red carpet it exaggerates her

already odd proportions. Her

posture and characteristic smirk

suggest she wants us to stop

laughing at her.

Page 59: The sag awards 2014

WORST

Page 60: The sag awards 2014

Julia Roberts

At first I saw a picture of just the

top half of this outfit and

thought “oh, what a lovely

dress!”

Page 61: The sag awards 2014
Page 62: The sag awards 2014

Kerry Washington

Kerry has just had a baby, so I

think we’ll give her a pass based

on a diagnosis of probable Post-

Natal Sartorial Dysphoria.

Otherwise I can’t think what

possessed her to wear a cropped

pink sequinned top with a pouffy

satin skirt that makes her look

enormous.

Page 63: The sag awards 2014

Kerry Washington

And also, we can SEE HER BRA.

Page 64: The sag awards 2014

Cate Blanchett

I don’t like this, I think it’s awful. But

I just have to relate this hilarious

exchange I witnessed on TV:

(GIULIANA RANCIC): I AM

OBSESSED.

(CATE BLANCHETT): With what?

(GIULIANA RANCIC): WITH YOU.

I love you as an ACTRESS. I love

you as a FASHIONISTA...

(CATE BLANCHETT): I'm married.

Page 65: The sag awards 2014

Amanda Peet

Oh, Amanda. I’m reluctant to

criticise because she looks like a

proud schoogirl on her first day

of school. She got dressed all by

herself. I mean, I do love her

velvet Mary Janes. And her skirt

looks like it was inspired by that

Escher picture with the

interlocking birds. It would

probably make a great

lampshade.

Page 66: The sag awards 2014

Mayim Bialik

When Jewish Orthodox meets

19th Century Parisian Bordello.

Page 67: The sag awards 2014

Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon

I agree with whatever Nick is

thinking.

Page 68: The sag awards 2014

Giuliana Rancic

*sigh*

She just really needs to gain

some weight.

Page 69: The sag awards 2014

Sarah Paulson

The angel I put on my Christmas

tree is better outfitted than this.

Her proportions are all off. And

her head looks odd. She looks

like one of those wax figures of

famous people that doesn’t

resemble the original.

Page 70: The sag awards 2014

Patricia Arquette

This calls to mind one of those

hippie dresses made from hemp

and dyed with carrot juice and

berries. It probably smells like

incense.

Page 71: The sag awards 2014

Edie Falco

Her face and hair look lovely.

Everything else: no.

Page 72: The sag awards 2014

BEST

Page 73: The sag awards 2014

Camila Alves

Divine.

Page 74: The sag awards 2014

Carice Van Houten

This may be controversial,

because I don’t necessarily love

the frock, but I love the look

overall. Her hair and face are so

pretty, and she looks happy

enough to carry off what is a

fairly basic LBD. It’s all about

the attitude.

Page 75: The sag awards 2014

Carice Van Houten

It even has a giant bow on the

back, but I don’t mind. The

combination of porcelain skin,

dark hair, black dress and deep

red lipstick is just so effortlessly

pretty. Her shoes are lovely, too.

Page 76: The sag awards 2014

Betsy Brandt

I couldn’t find a good picture of

this, and while the overall look

was not necessarily a show-

stealer, the gown itself is

beautiful and interesting, so it

made the cut. I love chartreuse,

and I can’t go past a wallpapery

floral. I’m not even joking.

Page 77: The sag awards 2014

Juliette Lewis

As I was saying, I love bold

decorative florals. While

Juliette’s hair puzzling, the

over-the-top turquoise dress is

whimsical and unexpectedly

beautiful. Like Lucy Liu’s Marie

Antoinette-inspired gown from a

couple of years ago.

Page 78: The sag awards 2014

Lupita Nyong’o

…however, first prize for best

turquoise frock (and best

everything else) goes, of course,

to Lupita Nyong’o, who looks

breathtaking here. Not many

people could carry off the ornate

neckline and matching

eyeshadow, but Lupita looks like

she could grant wishes.

Page 79: The sag awards 2014
Page 80: The sag awards 2014

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