The Simpkins Plot by G. A. Birmingham

8/2/2019 The Simpkins Plot by G. A. Birmingham

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/the-simpkins-plot-by-g-a-birmingham 1/163

THESIMPKINSPLOT

By

G.A.Birmingham

TO

R.H.

INMEMORYOFMANYSUMMEREVENINGSWHENWEDRIFTEDHOME,UNTROUBLEDBYTHELOVEAFFAIRSOFSIMPKINS.

THESIMPKINSPLOT.

CHAPTERI.

TheplatformatEustonwascrowded,andtheporters'barrowspiledhigh

withluggage.DuringthelastweekinJulytheIrishmailcarriesaheavyloadofpassengers,andforthetwentyminutesbeforeitsdeparturepeoplearebusyendeavouringtosecuretheirowncomfortandthesafetyoftheirbelongings.Thereareschoolboys,withportmanteaux,play-boxes,andhand-bags,escapinghomeforthesummerholidays.Therearesportsmen,eagermembersoftheStockExchangeorkeenlawyers,ontheirwaytoDonegalorClareforfishing.Therearetourists,theholdersofticketswhichpromisethemaroundofvisitstofamousbeautyspots.TherearemembersoftheHouseofLords,whohaveaccomplishedtheirlaboursaslegislators--andtheirwives,peeresses,whohavedonetheirdutybytheLondonseason--ontheirwaybacktostatelymansionsinthelandfromwhichtheydrawtheirincomes.Greatpeopletheseindrawing-roomsorclubs;greaterstill

intheremoteIrishvillageswhichtheirnamesstilldominate;butnotparticularlygreatontheEustonplatform,forthereislittlerespectofpersonsthereasthetimeofthetrain'sdeparturedrawsnear.Aporterpushedhisbarrow,heavywithtrunksandcrownedwithgun-cases,againstthelegsofanearl,whoswore.Aburlyman,redfacedandbroadshouldered,elbowedamarchionesswho,notknowinghowtosweareffectively,triedtowitherhimwithaglance.Shefailed.Themanwhohadjostledherhadsmallreverenceforrankortitle.Hewas,besides,inahurry,andhadnotimetospendinapologisingtogreatladies.

SirGilbertHawkesbywasoneofhisMajesty'sjudges.Hehadwonhispositionbysheerhardworkandcommandingability.Hehadnotstopped

inhiscareertosoothetheoutrageddignityofthosewhomhepushedaside;andhehadnointentionnowofdelayinghisprogressalongtherailwayplatformtoexplaintoamarchionesswhyhehadjostledher.Itwasonlybyavigoroususeofhiselbowsthathecouldmakehisway;anditoughttohavebeenevident,eventoapeeress,thathemeanttogofromoneendofthetraintotheother.Hiseyesglancedsharplyrightandleftashepushedon.Hepeeredthroughthewindowsofthecarriages.Hescannedeachfigureinthecrowd.Atlasthecaughtsightofaladystandingbesidethebookstall.Sheworealonggreycloakandadarktravelling-hat.Shestoopedoverthebooksandpapers



onthestallbeforeher;andherface,inprofileasSirGilbertsawit,waslitbytheflaringgasaboveherhead.Havingcaughtsightofher,thejudgepushedonevenmorevigorouslythanbefore.

"HereIam,Milly,"hesaid."IsaidI'dbeintimetoseeyouoff,andIam;butowingto--"

Theladyatthebookstallturnedandlookedathim.Sheflushedsuddenly,andthenassuddenlygrewpale.Sheraisedherhandhurriedlyandpulledherveiloverherface.SirGilbertstaredatherinamazement.Thenhisface,too,changedcolour.

"I--Ibegyourpardon,"hesaid;"Imistookyouformyniece.It'squiteinconceivabletomehowI--amostremarkablelikeness.I'mastonishedthatIdidn'tnoticeitbefore.Thefactis--underthecircumstances--"

SirGilbertwasacutelyuncomfortable.Neverinthecourseofalongcareeratthebarhadhefeltsohopelesslyembarrassed.Onnooccasioninhislife,sofarashecouldremember,hadhebeenreducedtostammeringincoherences.Ithadnotoccurredtohimtoapologisetothejostledmarchionessafewminutesbefore.Hewasnowanxioustoabasehimselfbeforetheladyatthebookstall.

"Isincerelybegyourpardon,"hesaid."IshouldnothavedreamedforamomentofintrudingmyselfonyouifIhadknown.Ioughttohaverecognisedyou.Ican'tunderstand--"

Theladylaiddownthebooksheheldinherhand,andturnedherbackonSirGilbert.Shecrossedtheplatform,andenteredacarriagewithoutlookingback.SirGilbertstoodstiffandawkwardbesidethebookstall.

"It'samostextraordinarylikeness,"hemuttered."Ican'tunderstandwhyIdidn'tnoticeitbefore.Ican'thaveeverreallylookedather."

Then,avoidingthecarriagewhichtheladyhadentered,hewalked

furtheralongtheplatform.Hewasmuchlessself-assertiveinhisprogress.Hethreadedhiswayinsteadofelbowingitthroughthecrowd.Themostfragilepeeressmighthavejostledhim,andhewouldnothaveresentedit.

"UncleGilbert!Isthatyou?Iwasafraidyouweregoingtobelate."

Thejudgeturnedquickly.Alady,anotherlady,leanedoutofthewindowofafirst-classcompartmentandgreetedhim.Hestaredather.Thelikenesswaslessstrikingnowwhenhelookedathisniece'sfullface;butitwasthere,quiteunmistakable;asufficientexcusefortheblunderhehadmade.

"Ah,Milly,"hesaid;"youreallyareMilly,aren'tyou?I'vejusthadamostextraordinaryencounterwithyourdouble.It'samostremarkablecoincidence;quitethethingforoneofyournovels.Bytheway,how'sthenewonegettingon?"

"Whichone?I'mjustcorrectingasetofproofs,andI'mdeepintheplotofanother.That'swhat'stakingmeovertoIreland.IthoughtI'dtoldyou."

"Yes,yes;localcolouryousaidinyourletter.Studyingthewild



Hibernianonhisnativesoil;butreally,Milly,whenyou'veheardmystoryyouwon'twanttogotoIrelandforwildimprobabilities.ButIcan'ttellyounow.Thereisn'ttime.We'llmeetinBally-what-do-you-call-itnextweek."

"Andyou'llstaywithme,UncleGilbert,won'tyou?ThehouseI'vetakenappearstobeaperfectbarrack.Accordingtotheagent,thereareanyamountofsparebedrooms."

"No,"saidthejudge;"I'vetakenroomsatthehotel.Thefactis,Milly,whenI'mfishingIliketoroughitabit.Besides,Ishouldonlybeinyourway.You'llbeworkingtremendouslyhard."

NeitherexcuseexpressedSirGilbert'srealreasonforrefusinghisniece'sinvitation.Hedidnotlikeroughingit,andhedidnotthinkittheleastlikelythathispresenceinthehousewouldinterferewithherwork.Onthecontrary,herworkwaslikelytointerferewithhiscomfort.Hewasfondofhisniece,buthedislikedherhabitofreadingpassagesfromherMSS.aloudintheevenings.Shewasverymuchabsorbedinhernovel-writing,andtookherworkwithaseriousnesswhichstruckthejudgeasridiculous.

"I'lldinewithyouoccasionally,"hesaid,"butIshallputupatthehotel.Bytheway,Milly,amIyourtenantorareyoumine?Ileft

allthearrangementsinyourhands."

"Itookthehouseandthefishing,"shesaid."Theagentmanwouldn'tletonewithouttheother;butyouhavetopaymostoftherent.Thesalmonarethereallyvaluablepartoftheproperty,itappears."

"Allright,"saidSirGilbert;"solongasthefishingisgoodIwon'tquarrelwithyouovermyshareoftherent.Thehousewouldonlyhavebeenanuisancetome.Ishouldhavehadtobringoverservants,andthatwouldhaveworriedyouraunt.Ah!Yourtime'sup,Isee.Good-bye,Milly,good-bye.Takecareofyourself,anddon'tgetmixedupwithshadypeopleinyoursearchfororiginality.I'llstartthisdayweekassoonaseverIgetyourauntsettleddownatBournemouth."

MillicentKing,SirGilbertHawkesby'sniece,wasayoungwomanofsomelittleimportanceintheworld.ThepatronsofthecirculatinglibrariesknewherasEnaDunkeld,andshooktheirheadsoverher.ThegentlemenwhoaddtothemeagresalariestheyearninGovernmentofficesbywritingreviewsknewherunderbothhernames,fornoliterarysecretsarehidfromthem.Theypraisedhernovelspublicly,andinprivateyawnedoverhermorality.Manypeople,herauntLadyHawkesbyamongthem,verystronglydisapprovedofhernovels.Certainproblems,sotheseladiesmaintained,oughttobediscussedonlyinscientificbooks,labelled"poison"forthesafetyofthepublic,andoughtnevertobediscussedatallbyyoungwomen.MillicentKing,renderedobstinatebythesecriticisms,plungeddeeperanddeeperinto

akindofmirewhich,afteratime,shebegantodislikeverymuch.Shehadinrealitysimpletastesofadomestickind,andmighthavebeenveryhappysewingbabyclothesifshehadmarriedapeaceablemanandkeptoutofliterarysociety.Fortunately,orunfortunately--thechoiceoftheadverbdependsupontheviewstakenofthevalueofdetailedanalysisofmarriageproblems--MissKinghadnotcomeacrossanymanofasuitablekindwhowantedtomarryher.Shehad,ontheotherhand,metalargenumberofpeoplewhopraised,andafewwhoabusedher.Shelikedtheflattery,andwaspleasedtobepointedoutasapersonofimportance.Sheregardedtheabuseasatributetothe



valueofherwork,knowingthatalltrueprophetssufferundertheevilspeakingofacensoriousworld.Latterlyshehadbeguntoconsiderwhethershemightnotsecurethepraise,withoutincurringtheblame,bywritingnovelsofadifferentkind.Withaviewtoperfectinganewstoryofadventureandperfectlyrespectablelove,shedeterminedtoisolateherselfforacoupleofmonths.AscertainIrishmenplayedapartinherstory,shefixeduponConnachtastheplaceofherretirement,intendingtostudytheromanticCeltonhisnativesoil.AhouseadvertisedinthecolumnsofTheFieldseemedtoofferhertheopportunityshedesired.Shetookitandthefishingattachedtoit;havingbargainedwithheruncle,SirGilbertHawkesby,thatshewastoberelievedofthedutyofcatchingsalmon,andthatheshouldpayaconsiderablepartoftheheavyrentdemandedbythelocalagent.

CHAPTERII.

TheseareafewthingsbettermanagedinIrelandthaninEngland,andoneofthemisthestartingofimportantrailwaytrains.Thedeparture,forinstance,ofthemorningmailfromtheDublinterminusoftheMidlandandGreatWesternRailwayiscarriedthrough,dayafterday,withdignity.Thehourisanearlyone,7a.m.;butallthechief

officiateofthecompanyarepresent,tastefullydressed.Thereisnofuss.Passengersknowthatitistheirdutytobeatthestationnotlaterthanaquartertoseven.Iftheyhaveanyluggagetheyarrivestillearlier,fortheportersmustnotbehustled.Attenminutestoseventheproperofficialsconductthepassengerstotheircarriagesandpenthemin.Lestanyoneofindependentandrebelliousspiritshouldescape,andinsistonloiteringabouttheplatform,thedoorsofthecompartmentsarealllocked.NoIrishmanresentsthistreatment.Membersofaconqueredrace,theyaremeek,andhavelongagogivenupthehopeofbeingabletoresistthemandatesofofficialpeople.

Strangers,Englishmenontour,areeasilyrecognisedbytheirself-assertivedemeanourandill-bredoffencesagainstthesolemn

etiquetteoftherailwaycompany.Sinceitisimpossibletoteachthesepeoplemannersormeekness,theguardsandporterstreatthem,asfaraspossible,withpatientforbearance.Theymust,ofcourse,begotintothetrain,butthedoorsoftheircompartmentsarenotlocked.IthasbeenfoundbyexperiencethatEnglishtravellersobjecttobeingimprisonedwithouttrial,andquoteregulationsoftheBoardofTradeforbiddingthelockingofbothdoorsofarailwaycarriage.ThereisnothingtobegainedbyapublicwranglewithanangryEnglishman.Hecannotbegottounderstandthatlaws,thoseoftheBoardofTradeoranyother,arenotbindingonIrishofficials.Thereisonlyonewayoftreatinghimwithoutlossofdignity,andthatistogiveintohimatonce,withashrugoftheshoulders.

Thus,MissKing,enteringuponthefinalstageofherjourneytoBallymoy,reapedthebenefitofbelongingtoaconqueringandimperialrace.Shewas,indeed,putintohercompartment,afirst-classone,tenminutesbeforethetrainstarted;butherdoor,aloneofallthedoors,wasleftunlocked.Thelastsolemnminutesbeforethedepartureofthetrainpassedslowly.Gravemeninuniformparadedtheplatform,glancingoccasionallyattheirwatches.Theengine-driverwatchedfromhiscabinforthewavingofthegreenflagwhichwouldauthorisehimtopushoverhisleversandstartthetrain.Thegreatmomenthadalmostarrived.Theguardheldhiswhistletohislips,andhadthegreen



flagreadytobeunfurled,inhislefthand.Thenatotallyunexpected,almostanunprecedented,thingoccurred.Apassengerwalkedintothestationandapproachedthetrainwiththeevidentintentionofgettingintoit.Hewasaclergyman,shabbilydressed,imperfectlyshaved,red-haired,andwearingaredmoustache.HecarriedabatteredGladstonebaginonehand.Theguardglancedathimandthendistendedhischeekswithair,meaningtoblowhiswhistle.

"Holdonaminute,"saidtheclergyman."I'mthinkingoftravellingbythistrain."

Theaudacityofthisstatementshooktheself-possessionoftheguard.

"Can'twait,"hesaid."Time'sup.Yououghttohavebeenheresooner."

Tosaythishewasobligedtotakethewhistlefromhislips;andtheengine-driver,whohadastrictsenseofduty,wasunabletostart.

"Asamatteroffact,"saidtheclergyman,"I'mnotonlyheresoonenough,I'manhourandahalftoosoon.ThetrainIintendedtocatchisthenextone."

Theguardputhiswhistletohislipsagain.

"Ifyoublowthatthing,"saidtheclergyman,"beforeI'minthetrain,I'lltakeanactionagainstthecompanyforassaultandbattery."

Theguardhesitated.Hedidnotseehowsuchanactioncouldbesustainedincourt;buthefeltthenecessityofthinkingoverhispositioncarefullybeforerunninganyrisks.Thelaw,especiallyinIreland,isacuriousthing,andnowisemanentangleshimselfwithitifhecanhelpit.Railwayguardsareallwisemen,otherwisetheywouldnothaverisentotheirhighpositions.

"NowthatIamhere,"saidtheclergyman,"Imayaswellgobythistrain.Excusemeonemoment;Iwanttogetafewnewspapers."

Thiswasgrossimpertinence,andtheguardwasinnomoodtostandit.Heblewhiswhistle.Theengineshriekedexcitedly,andthetrainstartedwithaviolentjerk.

Theclergymanseizedahandfulofnewspapersfromthebookstall.Clingingtothemandhisbagheranacrosstheplatform.Hetriedthedoorsoftwothird-classcompartmentsastheypassedhim,andfoundthemlocked.HehappenednextuponthatwhichwasoccupiedbyMissKing,openedthedoor,andtumbledin.

"I'veonlygotathird-classticket,"hesaidcheerfully;"butIshalltravelfirstclassthewholewaynow,andIshan'tpayapennyof

excessfare."

"Won'ttheymakeyou?"saidMissKing.

SherealisedthatshehadfoundanunexpectedlyearlyopportunityofstudyingthepeculiaritiesoftheIrishcharacter,anddeterminedtomakethemostofit.

"Certainlynot,"saidtheclergyman."Thepositionisthis.Ihaveathroughticket--Iboughtityesterday--whichentitlesmetotravelon



thisrailwaytoDonard.Ifthedoorsofallthethird-classcarriagesarelockedwhenIarriveatthestation,Itakeitthatthecompanymeansmetotravelfirstclass.Theirownactionisaclearindicationoftheirintention.Thereisn'tajuryinIrelandwouldgiveitagainstme,evenifthecasecameintocourt,which,ofcourse,itwon't."

"I'mgoingtoDonard,too,"saidMissKing.

"Areyou?It'sawretchedholeofaplace.Idon'tadviseyoutostoptherelong."

"I'mnotstayingthereatall.I'mdrivingstraightontoBallymoy."

"Ifyou'reatallfamiliarwithBallymoy,Iexpectyou'veheardofme.Myname'sMeldon,theReverendJ.J.Meldon,B.A.IwascurateofBallymoyonce,andeverybodywhowasthereinmytimewillbetalkingaboutmestill.I'mgoingbacktherenowforaholiday."

"ButI'mquiteastranger,"saidMissKing."I'veneverbeeninBallymoy."

Meldonglancedatthebagwhichlayontheseatbeforeher.Therewasnolabelonit,butitboretheinitialsM.K.ingoldlettersonits

side.

"Isuppose,"hesaid,"thatyou'renotbyanychanceasisteroranieceofMajorKent's?"

"No.I'mnot.Idon'tevenknowMajorKent.MynameisKing.MillicentKing."

Aclergymanis,necessarily,moreorlesseducated.Mr.Meldonhadproclaimedhimselfabachelorofarts.Itwasnaturaltosupposethathewouldhaveknownthename,eventherealname,ofafamouslivingnovelist.Apparentlyhedidnot.MissKingfeltalittledisappointed.

"Idaresay,"saidMeldon,withoutshowinganysignsofbeingimpressed,"thatyou'regoingtostopwiththeResidentMagistrate."

"No,"saidMissKingdecisively.

"Youdon'tlooklikethesortofpersonwho'dbegoingonavisittotherectory."

MissKingwashandsomelydressed.Sheappearedtobealadyofhighfashion;notatalllikelytobeaninmateoftheshabbylittlerectoryatBallymoy.Sheshookherhead.Then,becauseshedidnotlikebeingcross-questioned,sheputanendtotheconversationbyopeningherbagandtakingoutabundleoftypewrittenpapers.Shewasquiteprepared

tostudyMr.Meldonasatype,butshesawnoreasonwhyMr.Meldonshouldstudyher.Heappearedtobefilledwithanill-bredcuriositywhichshedeterminednottosatisfy.

Meldondidnotseemtoresenthersilenceintheleast.Heleanedbackinhisseatandunfoldedoneofthepapershehadsnatchedfromthebookstall.ItwasaLondoneveningpaperofthedaybefore,andcontainedafullaccountofthelastsceneofasensationaltrialwhichhadoccupiedtheattentionofthepublicforsometime.AMrs.Lorimerwaschargedwiththemurderofherhusband.Hermethods,ifshehad



donethedeed,werecold-bloodedandabominable;butshewasayoungandgood-lookingwoman,andthepublicwasveryanxiousthatsheshouldbeacquitted.Thejudge,SirGilbertHawkesby,summedupverystronglyagainsther;butthejury,afteraprolongedabsencefromcourt,foundher"notguilty."ThepaperpublishedaportraitofMrs.Lorimer,atwhichMeldonglanced.Suddenlyhisfaceassumedanexpressionofgreatinterest.Hestudiedtheportraitcarefully,andthenlookedatMissKing.Shesatattheotherendofthecarriage,andhesawherfaceinprofileasshebentoverherpapers.Mrs.Lorimer'ssidefacewasrepresentedinthepicture;andshe,too,wasbendingoversomething.Meldonlaiddownthepaperandtookupanother,thistimeanIrishmorningpaper.ItcontainedaninterviewwithMrs.Lorimer,securedbyanenterprisingreporterafterthetrial.Meldonreadthis,andthenturnedtothemagazinepageandstudiedthepictureoftheladywhichappearedthere.InitMrs.Lorimerworeahat,anditwasagainhersidefacewhichwasrepresented.MeldonlookedfromittoMissKing.Thelikenesswasquiteunmistakable.Hetookupathirdpaper,aprofuselyillustratedpennydaily.Hefound,asheexpected,apictureofMrs.Lorimer.Thiswasafull-lengthportrait,butthefacecameoutclearly.MeldontookuptheIrishpaperagain,andre-readverycarefullytheinterviewwiththereporterontheeveningofthetrial.ThenhefoldedupallthreepapersandleanedovertowardsMissKing.

"Youmustexcuseme,"hesaid,"ifIdidn'trecogniseyoujustnow.

YouputmeoutbygivingyournameasMissKing.I'mmuchmorefamiliarwithyourothername.Everybodyis,youknow."

MissKingwasmollifiedbytheapology.Shelookedupfromherpapersandsmiled.

"Howdidyoufindmeout?"sheasked.

"Byyourpictureinthepapers,"hesaid."Ifyou'llallowmetosayso,it'saparticularlygoodlikenessandwellreproduced.Ofcourse,inyourcase,they'dtakeparticularcarenottoprinttheusualkindofsmudge."

MissKingwasstronglyinclinedtoaskforthepapers.Herportraithad,sheknew,appearedintheIllustratedLondonNewsandintwoliteraryjournals.Shedidnotknowthatithadbeenreproducedinthedailypress.Thenewsexcitedandpleasedhergreatly.Shehadashortstrugglewithherself,inwhichself-respecttriumphed.Shedidnotaskforthepapers,butassumedanairofboredindifference.

"They'realwayspublishingmyphotograph,"shesaid."Ican'timaginewhytheydoit."

"Iquiteunderstandnow,"saidMeldon,"whyyou'regoingdowntoBallymoy.Youcouldn'tgotoabetterplaceforprivacyandquiet;completequiet.I'msureyouwantit."

"Yes,"saidMissKing."IfeelthatIdo.NowthatyouknowwhoIam,youwillunderstand.IchoseBallymoybecauseitseemedsoveryremotefromeverywhere."

ShedidnotthinkitnecessarytomentionthatshewantedtostudytheIrishcharacter.NowthatMeldonwastalkinginaninterestingwayshefeltinclinedtoencouragehimtorevealhimself.

"Quiteright.Itis.Idon'tknowaremoterplace.Nobodywillknow



youthere,andifanybodyguesses,I'llmakeitmybusinesstoputthemoffthescentatonce.Butthere'llbenonecessityforthat.Thereisn'tamanintheplacewillconnectMissKingwiththeotherlady.Allthesame,Idon'tthinkI'dstoptoolongatDoyle'shotelifIwereyou.Doyleisfrightfullycuriousaboutpeople."

"I'mnotstoppingthere,"saidMissKing."Ihavetakenahouse."

"Whathouse?IknowBallymoyprettywell,andthereisn'tahouseinityoucouldtakefurnished,excepttheplacethatbelongedtooldSirGilesBuckley."

"I'vetakenthatfortwomonths,"saidMissKing.

Meldonwhistledsoftly.Hewassurprised.BallymoyHouse,evenifletatalowrent,isanexpensiveplacetolivein.

"Myservantswentdownthereyesterday,"saidMissKing.Sheopenedherbagandgropedamongthecontentsasshespoke.

"WouldyoubeverymuchshockedifIsmokedacigarette?"sheasked.

"Notintheleast,"saidMeldon."Ismokemyself."

"Iwasafraid--beingaclergyman--youareaclergyman,aren'tyou?Somepeoplearesoprejudicedagainstladiessmoking."

"I'mnot,"saidMeldon."I'mremarkablyfreefromprejudicesofanykind.Ipridemyselfonbeingopen-minded.Mywifedoesn'tsmoke,butthat'smerelybecauseshedoesn'tlikeit.Ifshedid,Ishouldn'tmaketheslightestobjection.Allthesame,yououghtn'ttogopuffingcigarettesaboutthestreetsofBallymoy.TheMajor'sabitold-fashionedinsomeways,andIdon'texpectDoyleisaccustomedtoseeladiessmoking.You'llhavetobeverycareful.Ifyoustartpeopletalkingtheymayfindoutwhoyouare,andthentherewillcertainlybeunpleasantness."

"Wouldtheydisapproveofme?"

"Almostsureto.WeIrishhavethenameofbeingawildlot,Iknow;but--well,ifyoudon'tmindmysayingso,mostofuswouldberathershyofyou.Idon'tmindyoumyselfintheleast,ofcourse.I'mnotthatkindofman.Still,yourreputation!You'vebeenagooddealinthepapers,haven'tyou?"

MissKing,curiouslyenough,seemedpleasedatthisaccountofherreputation.Itisgratifyingtoanovelisttobefamous,andevennotorietyispleasant.Shefeltthat,havingbravedthecensureofLadyHawkesby,shecouldaffordtodespisethemoralityofthepeopleofBallymoy.

"TheMajor?"shesaid."You'vementionedhimonceortwice.Whatsortofmanishe?Doesmyworkshockhim?"

"Iexpectitdoes,"saidMeldon."Ihaven'tseenhimforsometime,andsowehaven'tdiscussedyou.ButfromwhatIknowofhimIshouldsaythatyourwork,asyoucallit,willshockhimfrightfully.Youcan'taltogetherblamehim.He'sabachelor,andhasverystrictideasaboutawife'sdutytoherhusband."



MissKingwasmovedbyadesiretostartleMeldon.Shewasreallyengagedonquiteaninnocentnovel,butshechosetopretendthatshewasgoingoninheroldway.

"Whatwillhesay,"shesaid,"whenhefindsoutthatI'mgoingonwithmyworkunderhisveryeyes,sotospeak,inBallymoy?"

Meldonsatupsuddenly.

"Youdon'tmeanthat?Surelyyoucan'tintend--"

"Nowyou'reshocked,"saidMissKing,"andyousaidyouwouldn'tbe."

"Iamalittle.Ididn'tthinkIcouldbe.ButIam.Ineverimagined--"

"Butthat'sexactlywhatI'mgoingtoBallymoyfor.IwantcompletequietinalonelyplacewhereIshan'tbedisturbed."

"Ofcourse,it'snobusinessofmine,"saidMeldon."Butdon'tyouthinkthatperhapsyou'vedoneenough?"

"No.Ihaveagreatdealtodoyet.Ifitweresimplyaquestionofearningmoney--"

Meldonlookedather.Shewasverywelldressed.Thebagwhichlayopenathersidewasfittedwithsilver-toppedbottles.Hercigarettecaseappearedtobeofgold.Shewastravellingfirstclass.ShehadtakenBallymoyHousefortwomonths.Hewasquitereadytobelievethatshedidnotwantmoney.

"Doyoumeantosaythatyou'redoingitsimplyforamusement?"heasked.

"No.Notamusement."Hervoicedroppedtoakindofsolemnwhisper."Fortheloveofmyart."

MissKingtookherselfveryseriouslyindeed,andwasaccustomedtotalkagooddealaboutherart.Literarypeoplewhomighthaveknownbetter,andcriticswhocertainlydidknowbetter,encouragedher.Theyalsotalkedaboutherart.

"Ofcourse,ifyoulookatitthatway,"saidMeldon,"there'snomoretobesaid;butyoumustn'texpectmetohelpyou."

"You!"

"No.AsaclergymanIcan'tpossiblydoit.NorwilltheMajor,unlesshe'sgreatlychanged.Idon'texpectDoylewilleither.He'spresidentofthelocalbranchoftheLeague,butI'msurehedrawsthe

lineat--"

"ButIdon'twantanyofyoutohelpme.WhyshouldI?"

"I'mgladtohearthat,atallevents,"saidMeldon."For,unlessunderveryexceptionalcircumstances,Icouldn'tconscientiouslyassistyouinanyway."

"Yousaidjustnow,"saidMissKing,"thatyouhadnoprejudices,andthatnothingshockedyou."



"Veryfewthingsdo,"saidMeldon."InfactIcan'trecollecteverhavingbeenshockedbefore;butthisideaisalittlenewtome.IcandidlyconfessthatInever--hullo!We'reslowingdownintoastation.NowIexpectthere'llbetroubleaboutmyticket."

Therewas--considerabletrouble.ButMeldonemergedfromitvictoriously.Heflatlyrefusedtomovefromthecarriageinwhichhesat.Theguard,thestation-master,aticket-collector,andfourportersgatheredroundthedoorandarguedwithhim.Meldonarguedfluentlywiththem.Intheendtheytookhisnameandaddress,threateninghimwithprosecution.Then,becausethetrainwasamailtrainandobligedtogoon,theguardblewhiswhistleandMeldonwasleftinpeace.

"It'sanuisance,"hesaidtoMissKing,"beingworriedbythosemen.Iwantedtosendatelegram,butIcouldn't.IfI'dventuredoutofthecarriagethey'dneverhaveletmebackagain.TheMajorwon'tbeexpectingmetillthenexttrain.Ionlycaughtthisonebyaccident."

"Byaccident?"

"Yes.ThefactisIwasupearlythismorning,wakenedbymylittledaughter,ababynotquitetwoyearsoldyet.ItoldyouIwas

married,didn'tI?ThepoorchildwasupsetbythejourneyfromEngland,anddidn'tsleepproperly.WhenshehadmewakenedIthoughtImightaswellgetup.Iintendedtostrolluptowardsthestationquietly.IwalkedratherfasterthanImeantto,andwhenIgotwithinaboutthreehundredyardsofthestationIdiscoveredthatImightjustcatchthistrainbyrunning;so,ofcourse,Iran.I'mverygladIdidnow.IfIhadn'tIshouldn'thavemetyou."

"Whatdidyoudowiththebaby?"

"Ididn'tdropherontheway,ifthat'swhatyou'rethinkingof.I'mnotthatkindofmanatall,andIamparticularlyfondofthechild.Iscarcelyevercomplainwhenshekeepsmeawakeatnight,thoughmany

menIknowwouldwanttosmotherher.Sheandmywifearestoppingwithmymother-in-lawinRathmines.I'mgoingdownforafortnight'syachtingwiththeMajor.Imightpersuadehimtogiveyouaday'ssailing,perhaps,ifhedoesn'tfindoutwhoyouare,andwesucceedinkeepingitdarkaboutyourgoingonwithyourwork.Idaresayitwouldcheeryouuptogooutonthebay.Iexpectyoufindyourworkprettytrying."

"Itisverytrying.Ioftenfeelcompletelyexhaustedattheendoftheday."

"Nervestrain,"saidMeldon."Idon'twonder.It'samarvelhowyoustandit."

"ThenIcan'tsleep,"saidMissKing."OftenIcan'tsleepfortwoorthreenightstogether."

"Itsurprisesmetohearthatyoueversleepatall.Don'ttheyhauntyou?I'vealwaysheard--"

"Mypeople?"

"Yes,yourpeople,ifthat'swhatyoucallthem.I'dhavethought



they'dneverhaveletyoualone."

"Someofthemdohauntme.IoftencrywhenIthinkofthem.It'sveryfoolish,ofcourse;butinspiteofmyselfIcry."

"Thenwhyonearthdoyougoonwithit?"

"It'smyart,"saidMissKing.

"I'mnotanartistmyself,"saidMeldon,"inanysenseoftheword,soIcan'texactlyenterintoyourfeelings;butIshouldsay,speakingasacompleteoutsider,thattheproperthingforyouwouldbetodropthewholething,taketosmokingapipeinsteadofthosehorridscentedcigarettes,drinkabottleofporterbeforeyougotobed,andthensleepsound."

MissKingsighed.TherewassomethingintheidealwhichMeldonsetbeforeherwhichwasveryattractive.Thedetailssheignored.Bottledporterwasnotadrinkshecaredfor,andnowoman,howeveremancipated,likesapipe.Inspiteofthesatisfactionshefoundinherliterarysuccess,therewasinheradesireforquietandrestfulwaysoflife.Therewasnodoubtthatshewouldsleepsounderatnightifshelivedsimply,somewhereinthecountry,andforgottheexcitementsofthenovelist'sart.Meldon,indeed,didnotseemto

enjoyabsolutelyunbrokenrestatnight;butMissKing'simagination,althoughshewroteimpropernovels,didnotinsistonrepresentingababyasaninevitablepartofdomesticatedlife.Shegotnofurtherthanthedreamofapeacefulhouse,withthefigureofaninoffensivehusbandsomewhereinthebackground.

CHAPTERIII.

Meldonstretchedhimselfinadeepchairandlithispipe.Hehaddinedtohisownsatisfaction,eatingwithanappetitewhettedbythe

longdrivefromtherailwaystation.Hehadbeforehimaclearfortnight'sholiday,andintendedtoenjoyittothefull.MajorKent'shousewascomfortable;histobacco,whichMeldonsmoked,wasgood;hisyacht,theSpindrift,layreadyforacruise.

"To-morrow,"hesaid,"Ishallstrollroundandseemyoldfriends.I'mboundtodothat;and,inpointoffact,Iwantto.It'sthreeyearssinceIleft,andI'mlongingforalookatDoyleandtherestofthem.Thenextday,iftheweatherisanywaymoderate,wecangosailing.IsupposeBallymoyisn'tmuchchanged.IshallfindeveryoneexactlyasIleftthem.Thingsdon'taltermuchinplaceslikethiswhereyoutakelifeeasy."

"Theplaceischanged,"saidMajorKent;"changedfortheworse.You'dhardlyknowit."

"NothinghashappenedtoDoyle,Ihope.I'dbesorryifpoorDoylehadtakentodrink,orgonebankrupt,orgotmarried,oranythingofthatsort.IalwayslikedDoyle."

"Doyle,"saidtheMajorsadly,"issufferinglikeeverybodyelse."

"Newpriest?"



"No.FatherMorony'salivestill."

"They'renotpilingontheratesunderthepretenceofgettingawatersupply,orrunningschemesoftechnicaleducation,orgivingscholarshipsinthenewuniversity,arethey?Doylewouldhavemoresensethantoallowthemtobreakoutintoanyrecklesswasteofpublicmoney."

"No."

"Thenwhat'sthematterwithyou?I'venoticedthatyou'relookingprettyglumeversinceIarrived.Let'shavethetrouble,whateveritis.Ihaveafortnightbeforeme,andIneedscarcelysay,Major,thatifIcansetthingsrightintheplace,Idon'tmindsacrificingmyholidayintheleast.I'mquitepreparedtoturntoandstraightenoutanytanglethatmayhavearisensinceIleft."

"I'msureyou'ddoyourbest,J.J."--theMajordroppednaturallyintohisoldwayofaddressinghisfriendbyhisinitials--"butIdon'tthinkyoucanhelpusthistime."

MajorKentsighedheavilyandstruckamatch.Hispipehadgoneout.

"Icertainlycan't,"saidMeldon,"ifyouwon'ttellmewhatitisthattroublesyou."

"It'sthatdamnedSimpkins,"saidtheMajor.

"Simpkinsmayormaynotbedamnedhereafter,"saidMeldon."IoffernoopiniononthatpointuntilIhearwhoheisandwhathe'sdone.Hecan'tbedamnedyet,assuminghimtobestillalive.That'sanelementarytheologicaltruthwhichyououghttoknow;and,infact,mustknow.Itwillbeagreatdealmoresatisfactorytomeifyouuselanguageaccurately.Saythat'damnableSimpkins'ifyou'requitesurehedeservesit;butdon'tcallhimdamneduntilheis."

"Hedoesdeserveit."

"Ifhedoes,"saidMeldon--"I'mnot,ofcourse,certainyetthathedoes--butifhedoes,I'lldomybesttoseethathegetsit;butIwon'tactinthedark.Ihaveasenseofjusticeandaconscience,andIabsolutelydeclinetopersecuteandharryamansimplybecauseyoudon'tlikehim.WhoisthisSimpkins?Isheanykindofgovernmentinspector?"

"He'sanagentthatthey'vesentdownheretomanagetheBuckleyestates."

"Well,Idon'tseeanythingwrongaboutthat.Isupposetheremustbe

anagent.IcouldunderstandDoyleobjectingtohimonthegroundofhisprofession.DoyleisthePresidentoftheLeague,and,ofcourse,he'sexofficioobligedtodislikelandagentspassionately;butIdidn'texpectyoutotakethatline,Major.You'realoyalist.AtleastyouusedtobewhenIwashere,andit'sjustasplainlyyourdutytosupportagentsasitisDoyle'stoabusethem."

"Idon'tobjecttohimbecausehe'sanagent,"saidMajorKent."Iobjecttohimbecausehe'sameddlesomeass,andkeepsthewholeplaceincontinualhotwater."



"Verywell.That'sadistinctanddefinitecharge.Ifyoucanproveit,I'lltakethematterupanddealwiththeman.Passthetobacco."

Meldonfilledandlithispipe.ThenhegotupandwalkedacrosstoMajorKent'swriting-table.Hechoseoutapen,tookaquantityofnotepaperandabottleofink.Withthemhereturnedtohisarmchairandsatdown.Heputtheink-bottleonthearmofthechairand,crossinghislegs,proppedthepaperonhisknee.

"Dobecareful,J.J.,"saidtheMajor."You'llcertainlyupsetthatink-bottle,andthisisanewcarpet."

"Weareengagednow,"saidMeldon,"onaseriousinvestigation.Youhavedemandedthatacertainmanshouldbepunishedinaperfectlyfrightfulmanner.I'veagreedtocarryoutyourwishes,if--markmywords--ifhedeservesit.Yououghtnottobethinkingofcarpetsorink-bottles.Yourmindoughttobeconcentratedonasingleefforttotellthetruth.It'snotsuchaneasythingtotellthetruthasyouthink.Lotsofmentrytoandfail.Infact,I'mnotsurethatanymancouldtellthetruthunlesshe'shadsometraininginmetaphysicsandtheology.WhenIwasincollegeItookhonoursinlogic--"

"You'veoftenmentionedthattomebefore,"saidtheMajor."It'sone

ofthethingsaboutyouthatIhavemostfirmlyfixedinmymind."

"AndIwonaprizeforprovingtheaccuracyoftheThirty-nineArticles.Consequently,Imaysay,withoutboasting,thatI'mmoreorlessofanexpertinthematteroftruth.Mymindistrained.Yours,ofcourse,isn't.That'swhyI'mtryingtohelpyoutotellthetruth.ButIwon't--infact,Ican't--goonhelpingyouifyouwanderoffontosideissuesaboutink-bottlesandcarpets."

Hewavedhishandoratoricallyashespoke,andtippedtheink-bottleoffthearmofthechair.

"There,"saidtheMajor,"Iknewyou'ddothat."

"Nevermind,"saidMeldon."Ihaveapencilinmypocket.I'llworkwithit."

TheMajorseizedtheblotting-paperfromhiswriting-tableandwentdownonhiskneesonthecarpet.

"Whenyou'vefinishedmakingthatmessworsethanitis,"saidMeldon,"andcoveringyourownfingersalloverwithinkinsuchawaythatitwilltakedaysofcarefulrubbingwithpumice-stonetogetthemclean,perhapsyou'llgoontellingmewhyyoucallthisfellowSimpkinsameddlesomeass.Iwasupearlythismorning,owingtothebaby'sbeingrestlessduringthenight.DidImentiontoyouthatshe'sgot

whooping-cough?Well,shehas,andittakesherintheformofarapidsuccessionoffits,beginningat10p.m.andlastingtilleightthenextmorning.Thatwaswhathappenedlastnight,so,asyou'llreadilyunderstand,Iwanttogettobedingoodtimeto-night.Itmay,itprobablywill,takehourstodragyourgrievanceoutofyou,andIdon'tseeanyuseinwastingtimeatthestart."

"Ipaidtwentyguineasforthatcarpet,"saidtheMajor."It'saPersianone."



"HasthatanythingtodowithSimpkins?Didheforceyoutobuythecarpet,ordidhetrytopreventyou?"

"No,hedidn't.Iwouldn'tletthebeastinsidethishouse."

"Verywellthen.Don'tgoonaboutthecarpet.TellmeplainlyandstraightforwardlywhyyoucallSimpkinsameddlesomeass."

"Becausehepokeshisnoseintoeverybody'sbusiness,"saidtheMajor,"andwon'tletpeoplealone."

Meldontookanoteonasheetofpaper.

"Good,"hesaid."Simpkins--meddlesomeass--pokeshisnoseintoeverybody'sbusiness.Now,whoiseverybody?"

"Whoiswhat,J.J.?"

"Whoiseverybody?That'splainenough,isn'tit?Forinstance,areyoueverybody?"

"No,I'mnot.HowcouldIbe?"

"ThenItakeitthatSimpkinshasnotpokedhisnoseintoyour

business.IsDoyleeverybody?"

"Hehaspokedhisnoseintomybusiness."

"Becarefulnow,Major.You'rebeginningtocontradictyourself.Whatbusinessofyourshashepokedhisnoseinto?Wasitthecarpet?"

"No.Itoldyouhehadnothingtodowiththecarpet.Hemadeabeastlyfussaboutmyfishingintheriverabovethebridge.Hethreatenedtoprosecuteme."

"Hemayhavebeenperfectlyjustifiedinthat,"saidMeldon."Whatrighthaveyoutofishintheupperpartoftheriver?"

"Ialwaysfishedthere.I'vefishedthereforthirtyyearsandmore."

"Thesequestionsoffishingrights,"saidMeldon,"areoftenextremelycomplicated.Theremayverywellbesomethingtobesaidonbothsides.Idon'tthinkIcanproceedtodealwithSimpkinsinthewayyousuggest,unlesshehasdonesomethingworsethaninterferewithyourfishing.Whatelsehaveyougotagainsthim?"

"HetriedtostirupthedispensarydoctortoprosecuteDoyleonaccountoftheinsanitaryconditionofsomeofhishouses."

"Iexpecthewasperfectlyrightthere,"saidMeldon."FromwhatI

recollectofthosehousesthatDoyleletsIshouldsaythatherichlydeservesprosecution."

"Nobodywaseverillinthehouses,"saidtheMajor."Therehasn'tbeenacaseoftyphoidinthetownaslongasIcanremember."

"That'snotthepoint,"saidMeldon."You'relookingatthematterinthewrongwayaltogether.Thereneveristyphoidanywhereuntilyoubegintobesanitary.Theabsenceoftyphoidsimplygoestoshowthatsanitationhasbeenentirelyneglected.That'sprobablyoneof



Simpkins'strongestpoints."

"Ifthat'sso,we'dbebetterwithoutsanitation."

"Certainlynot,"saidMeldon."Youmightjustaswellsaythatwe'dbebetterwithoutmatchesbecausechildrenneverdiedofeatingtheheadsoffthembeforetheywereinvented.WhichremindsmethatIcaughtthebabyintheactoftryingtoswallowablack-headedpintheotherday;andthat,ofcourse,wouldhavebeenagreatdealworsethangettingwhooping-cough.Thethinghadbeenstuckintotheheadofawoollybearbywayofaneye.Shepulleditout,whichIthinkshowsintelligence,and--"

"Ithoughtyousaid,J.J.,thatyouwantedtogetthroughwiththisenquiryandgotobed."

"Ido,"saidMeldon."ButInaturallyexpectedyou'dtakesomeinterestinthementaldevelopmentofmybaby.Afterall,she'syourgodchild.Youwouldn'thavelikeditifshe'dswallowedthatpin.However,ifyoudon'tcaretohearabouther,Iwon'tforceheronyourattention.GoonaboutDoyleandthedrains.Whathappened?"

"Thedoctorrefusedtoact,ofcourse,"saidtheMajor.

"Naturally,"saidMeldon;"hedidn'tcareaboutbringingtyphoidintothetown."

"You'dhavethoughtSimpkinswouldhavedroppeditthen,buthedidn't.HereportedthedoctortotheBoardofGuardiansforneglectofduty."

"We'regettingon,"saidMeldon,takinganoteonafreshsheetofpaper."YoustartedouttoprovethatSimpkinsisameddlesomeass.You'vegothalfway.He'scertainlyanass.Didn'theknowthatDoylewaschairmanoftheBoardofGuardians?"

"Hemusthaveknownthat,ofcourse."

"Thenhe'sanass.Noonewhowasn'tanasscouldpossiblyexpectDoyletopassavoteofcensureonthedoctorfornotprosecutinghimabouthisdrains.Youneedn'telaboratethatpointfurther.Iadmitit.ButIdon'tseeyetthatyou'veprovedanyactualmalice.Lotsofquitegoodmenareasses,andmeantodowhat'sright.Simpkinsmayhavebeenactingfromamistakensenseofduty."

"Hewasn't.Hewasactingfromafiendishdelightinworryingpeaceablepeople."

"Provethat,"saidMeldon,"andI'llmakethemansorryforhimself.There'snocrimeIknowmoredetestablethannaggingandworryingwiththeintentionofmakingotherpeopleuncomfortable.Inaproperly

civilisedsocietymenwhodothatwouldbehanged."

"IwishSimpkinswashanged."

"Proveyourpoint,"saidMeldon,"andI'llseethatheishanged,oratalleventskilledinsomeotherway."

"There'snousetalkingthatway,J.J.Youcan'tgooutandmurdertheman."



"Itwon'tbemurderinthiscase,"saidMeldon."Itwillbeaperfectlyjustexecution,andIshan'tdoitmyself.I'maclergyman,andnotanexecutioner.ButI'llseethatit'sdoneonceI'mperfectlysatisfiedthathedeservesit."

"Hehadarowwiththerectoratavestrymeeting,"saidtheMajor,"abouttheheatingofthechurch."

"Thatsettlesit,"saidMeldon."Iaskfornothingmore.Themanwho'scapableofannoyingthepooroldrector,whohaschronicbronchitisandmustkeepthechurchuptoaprettyfairtemperature--"

"WhatSimpkinssaidwasthatthechurchwasn'thotenough."

"It'sallthesame,"saidMeldon."Thepointisthatheworriedtherector,who'snotphysicallystrongenoughtobearit,andwhocertainlydoesnotdeserveit.Ididn'tmindhisattackingyouorDoyle.Youcanbothhitback,andifyouwereanygoodwouldhavehitbacklongagoinawaywhichSimpkinswouldhavedislikedintensely.Butaclergymanisdifferent.Hecan'tdefendhimself.Heisobliged,bythemerefactofbeingaclergyman,tositdownundereveryspeciesofinsultwhichanyill-conditionedcorner-boychoosestoslingathim.Therewasafellowinmyparish,whenIfirstwentthere,whothoughthe'dbeperfectlysafeinraggingmebecauseheknewIwasaparson.

Nolaterthanthismorningahorridrabbleofrailwayporters,andpeopleofthatsort,triedtobullyme,because,owingtotheirownridiculousofficiousness,Iwasforcedtotravelfirstclassonathird-classticket.TheythoughttheycoulddowhattheylikedwithimpunitywhentheysawIwasaclergyman.Youdon'tknowhowcommonthatkindofanti-clericalspiritis.Simpkinsisevidentlyswelledoutwithit.It'sgoingnow,likeanepidemic.LookatFranceandItaly.TheonechancewehaveofkeepingIrelandfreefromitistoisolateeachcasethemomentitappears.ByfarthewisestthingwecandoistohaveSimpkinskilledatonce."

"Idon'tquiteseehowyouaregoingtomanageit,J.J.,withoutbeinghangedyourself."

"Isheamarriedman?"

"No,heisn't."

"Thenthematter'sperfectlysimple.Idon'tthinkImentionedtoyou,Major,thatItravelleddowninthetrainto-daywithaprofessionalmurderess."

"Dotrytotalksense,J.J."

"Herspecialityishusbands,"saidMeldon."Idon'tknowexactlyhowmanyshehasdoneforinhertime,buttheremustbeseveral.Shesaid

theirghostshauntedheratnight,andthatsometimesshecouldn'tsleeponaccountofthem."

"Isuppose,"saidMajorKent,"thatitamusesyoutobabblelikeanidiotinanasylum."

"Itdoesn'tamusemeintheleast.IfeeldesperatelydepressedwhenIthinkofthosepoorfellowslyingintheirgraveswithouncesandouncesofstrychnineintheirstomachs.That'snotthekindofthingIconsideramusing,thoughyoumay.MissKingdoesn'tconsiderit



amusingeither.Shesaidsheoftencrieswhenshethinksofhervictims,andveryoftenshecan'tsleepatnight."

"MissKing!"saidtheMajor."That'sthenameoftheladywhohastakenBallymoyHouseforthesummer."

"Exactly.TheladywhomIproposetomarrytoyourfriendSimpkins."

"GoodLord!J.J.Why?Whathasthepoorwomandone?"

"It'snotsomuchwhatshehasdone,"saidMeldon,"thatmakesmethinkshe'dbeasuitablematchforSimpkins.It'swhatshewilldo.She'llmurderhim."

"Nonsense."

"It'snotnonsense.Shewill.ShetoldmeherselfthatshehascometoBallymoyfortheexpresspurposeofmurderinganotherhusband.Shesaidshewantedquietandsecurityfrominterruptioninordertogoonwithherwork."

"You'regoingmad,J.J.;starkmad.I'msorryforyou."

"Igotintothecarriagewithherthismorningbythemerestaccident,"

saidMeldon."Ifthebabyhadn'tgotwhooping-coughafortnightago,andkeptmeawakeallnight,Ishouldn'thavecaughttheearlytrain.Ididn'tmeantocatchit.DirectlyIlookedatherIsawthatshewasaremarkablewoman.You'venotseenheryet?"

"No,"saidtheMajor,"Ihaven't,andIdon'tparticularlywantto."

"Herfaceseemedmoreorlessfamiliartome,"saidMeldon."You'llrecogniseit,too,whenyouseeit.Ormoreprobablyyouwon't.IsupposeyoustillreadnothingbutTheTimes,anditdoesn'tpublishtheportraitsofcelebrities."

"IsMissKingacelebrity?Ineverheardofher."

"Notunderthatname;butwhenImentionthatherrealnameisMrs.Lorimer,you'llrememberallabouther."

"Thewomanwhowastriedtheotherdayformurderingherhusband,andgotoff."

"Precisely,"saidMeldon."Ihappened,bythemerestchance,tohavefiveportraitsofherinthreedifferentpapers.IcomparedthemcarefullywithMissKing,andIhaven'ttheslightestdoubtthatshe'sthesamewoman."

"You'reprobablyquitemistaken,"saidtheMajor."Thosepicturesin

thedailypapersarenevertheleastlikethepersonthey'resupposedtorepresent."

"Imighthavebeenmistaken,thoughIveryseldomam;butinthiscaseIcertainlywasnot.SheseemedquitepleasedwhenIsaidIrecognisedher,andtoldmefranklythatshehadmurderedseveralhusbands,andhopedtolivetomurdermanymore.Iurgedhertogiveitup.BeingaclergymanIwasboundtodothat.Butitwasn'ttheleastuse.Shesaiditwasherart;andyouknow,Major,whenpeoplestarttalkingaboutart,itsimplymeansthattheyaredeadtoallsenseofmorality.



Itdoesn'tintheleastmatterwhattheartis.Theeffectisalwaysthesame.That'sthereasonI'vemadeupmymindnottoallowmydaughtertolearndrawing.Iwon'thavehermoralsensebluntedwhileshe'syoung.Idon'tdenythatpicturesandbooksandmusicaregreatthingsintheirway,butasimplesenseofrightandwrong,oftruthandfalsehood,aremuchmoreimportant.I'msureyouagreewithmeinthat."

"Iwishtogoodnessyouhadsomesenseofrightandwrongyourself."

"Ihave,"saidMeldon,"IfIhadn'tIshouldsimplyenjoymyselfduringthisholiday,asI'mquiteentitledtodo.InsteadofwhichImeantodevotemytimetothetroublesometaskofmarryingSimpkins,whomIdon'tknowatall,toaladywhomIhaveonlyseenonce.IfIhadn'taremarkablypushingsortofaconscienceIwouldn'tsacrificemyselfinthatway."

"Shewon'tmarrySimpkins,"saidtheMajor.

"Ohyes,shewill.Idon'tanticipateanydifficultyaboutthatpartoftheprogramme."

"Waittillyou'veseenSimpkins.Waittillyou'vetalkedtohim.NowomanwouldmarrySimpkins."

"MissKingwill,"saidMeldon."Shewantsamanonwhomtopractiseherart,andshe'llbeallthebetterpleasedifhe'saparticularlyundesirablekindofbeast.Shewon'tfindherselfregrettinghimafterwards.Nowthatwehavethatsettled,Major,IthinkI'lldodgeofftobed.Idon'tmindconfessingtoyouthatI'mjustasgladthatIshan'thavethebabyinherlittlecotbesideme.I'mextremelyfondofthechild,butshe'salittletryingatnight;thefitsofcoughingcomeonatsuchfrequentintervals."

CHAPTERIV.

MajorKent,likemostmenwholeadanopen-airlife,hadahealthyappetiteatbreakfast-time.Histablewasalwayswellsuppliedwitheggs,bacon,and,whenpossible,fish.InhonourofMeldon'svisit,hehadacoldhamonthesideboard,andalargedishofoatmealporridge.Hewasamanofprimitivehospitality,andhesurveyedthefeastwithanairofproudsatisfactionwhilehewaitedforhisguest.Hehadtowaitforaquarterofanhour,andhisglowofpleasurewasbeginningtogivewaytoafeelingofirritationwhenMeldonburstintotheroom.

"Thisplace,"hesaid,bywayofapologyforhisunpunctuality,"iscertainlythesleepiestintheworld.Ihadforgottenhowsleepyit

is.Ididn'tsomuchasturnroundinbedforninesolidhours,andIassureyouIneverfeltlessinclinedtogetupinmylife.IdaresayI'llgetoveritinadayortwo;butjustatpresentIfeelthatthenightwasn'tlongenough."

"Havesomebreakfast,"saidtheMajor,"andthenyoucangotosleepagain."

Meldonhelpedhimselftoporridgeandmilk.



"No,Ican't,"hesaid."I'vetoomuchtodo."

Heworkedthroughahelpingofbaconandeggs.Thenheattackedthecoldham.

"There'snothing,"hesaid,"likeagoodbreakfastwhenyouhaveahardday'sworkbeforeyou.Iexpecttobeprettybusy,andI'llhardlybeinforlunch.Isupposeyou'venoobjectiontomymakingmyselfafewsandwichesbeforeIstart?Imaypickupamealsomewhereinthecourseoftheday,butImaynot.It'salwayswelltobeonthesafeside."

"Whatareyougoingtodo?"

"I'mgoingtomarrySimpkinstoMissKing,ofcourse.Ithoughtwesettledthatlastnight."

"Don'tkeepupthatjoke,J.J.Itwasallverywellpullingmyleglastnight,andIdidn'tminditabit;butathinglikethatgetstobestalethenextmorning."

"There'snojokethatIcansee,"saidMeldon."Ifyoureadthepaperswithanysortofattentionlately,you'dunderstandthatMrs.Lorimeristhelastwomanintheworldwhocanberegardedascomic."

"Weweren'ttalkingaboutMrs.Lorimer."

"Yes,wewere.WeweretalkingaboutMissKing,andsheisMrs.Lorimer;althoughatpresentshepreferstobecalledMissKing.Ithinkshe'squiteright.ItwouldbeextremelybadtastetogoonusingpoorLorimer'snameafterwhatshedidtohim.Hewouldn'tlikeit.Youwouldn'tlikeityourself,Major,ifshe'dkilledyou."

"Idon'tknowthatshedidkillhim,"saidtheMajor."Evensupposingthatyou'rerightinidentifyingthetwowomen--whichofcourseyou'renot--you'dstillhavenoearthlyrighttoassumethatMrs.Lorimerisamurderess.Thejuryfoundherinnocent."

"Ofcourseitdid.Anyjurywould.She'samostattractive-lookingwoman.You'dhavefoundherinnocentyourselfifyou'dbeenonthatjury."

"Iwouldnot."

"Yes,youwould.I'veseenher,remember.Youhaven't,soyoucan'tpossiblytellwhatyou'dhavedone."

"Idon'tsee,"saidtheMajor,"thatherbeinggood-lookingprovesthatshemurderedherhusband."

"No,itdoesn't,butitaccountsforthejurylettingheroff.Theevidencewasamplysufficientforaconviction,andthejudgesummedupdeadagainsther.Andanywayitdoesn'tmattertousabouttheevidence,forsheowneduptomeinthetrain.ItoldherI'dkeephersecretforher,andIdon'tintendtotellanybodyexceptyou.Apartfromherfeelingsaltogetheritwouldn'tsuitusforthestorytogetoutinBallymoy.Simpkinswouldbechokedoffatonceifheknewit.Menhavesucharidiculousprejudiceagainstmarryingawomanwithanysortofpast."



"Idon'tthinkSimpkinswouldmind,"saidtheMajor,"ifhethoughtshehadanymoney.That'sthekindofbeastheis."

"Shehasplenty,"saidMeldon,"Lorimer's,Idaresay.Atleastshelooksasifshehadplenty,andthat'sthesamethinginthiscase.IfSimpkinsmarriesher,it'sextremelyunlikelythathe'lllivelongenoughtofindoutwhethershereallyhasalargefortune,orissimplyspendinghercapital."

AfterbreakfastMajorKentreturnedtothesubjectofMissKing.

"Isuppose,"hesaid,"thatyou'reabsolutelycertainthatyou'vegotaholdoftherightwoman?Youcouldn'tbemakinganysortofmistake?"

"ItoldyoulastnightthatIwascertain,andIgaveyoumyreasons;prettyconvincingonesIimagine--thesortofreasonsthatwouldbeconclusivetoanymanatallaccustomedtocriminalinvestigation.Idon'tmyselfseehowyoucangetbehindtheportraitandthelady'sownconfession."

"Youcouldn'tpossiblyhavemistakenaboutthat,couldyou?Imeanshecouldn'thavebeenconfessinganythingelsewhichyoucouldhavetakenuptomeanmurder?"

"No,shecouldn't.Inthefirstplace,itisn'tatalllikelythattherewouldbetwoattractive-lookingladycriminals,travellingaboutintrainsatthesametime,bothwantingtoconfesswhattheyhaddone.Inthesecondplace,hercrimemusthavebeenprettyserious,forshewasparticularlyanxioustofindoutwhetheritwaslikelytoshockyou."

"Me?"

"Yes,you.Shementionedyoubyname,andaskedparticularlywhetheryou'dbelikelytobeshocked,whenyoufoundoutwhoshewas.Now,ifshehadsimplybeenslippingtriflingarticlesoffshopcountersintohermuff,shewouldn'thaveexpectedyoutobeshocked.That'swhat

makesmesayhercrimewasaseriousone."

"Still,"saidtheMajor,"evensupposingshereallywasafraidofshockingme;thoughIcan'tseehowshecametoconsidermeatall--"

"Shedid.Youmaytakethatforcertain."

"ThereareotherthingsbesidesmurderthatIshouldstronglydisapproveof."

"You'rethinkingofdivorcecourtproceedingsnow.Butshe'snotthatsortofwomanatall.Ihadeveryopportunityofstudyinghercharacterinthetrain,andI'mcertainthatshewouldn'tmixherself

upwithanythingofadisreputablekind.WhateverpoorLorimermayhavehadtocomplainof--andIdon'tintheleastdenythathehadagrievance--he'dhavebeenthelastmantoaccuseherofanythingofthatsort.Inevermetawomanwhoimpressedmemorestronglyasbeingthoroughlyrespectable."

"Comenow,J.J.Murder!Surelymurder--"

"Notwhentreatedasanart.DeQuinceywroteanessayonthesubject.Ifyou'dreadit,you'dknowbetterthantomixupartisticmurderwith



thecommonplaceassassinationsoftheordinaryburglar.YoumightjustaswellsaythatBeethovenisthesamesortofpersonastheItalianorgan-grinderwhoplaysabominabletunesunderyourwindow,inthehopeofyourgivinghimtwopencetogoaway."

"Nothingyou'vesaidsofar,"saidtheMajor,"convincesmeintheleastthatyouridentificationoftheladyiscertain,orevenlikelytoberight."

"Iknewyou'dbesceptical.Youalwaysarescepticalaboutanythingtheleastoutofthecommon;sowhileIwasshavingthismorningIarrangedtheevidenceinsuchawaythatyoucan'tpossiblyescapefromit.Inthefirstplace,therearetheportraits.Idon'tdwellonthembecauseyouhaven'tseenMissKing,andsotheywon't--forthepresent--carrymuchweightwithyou.Inthesecondplace,thereisherconfession.YouchoosetoconsiderthatIwasmistakenaboutthat,andthatMissKingwasreallyconfessingsomethingofquiteadifferentkind.Isaynothingabouttheimprobabilityofmybeingmistakeninaperfectlysimplematter.Isimplyleavetheconfessionononeside,andofferyoucorroborativeevidenceofaquiteunmistakabledescription.Here'sacopyofaDublinpaper.Iputitinmypocketonpurposetoshowittoyou.Isupposeyou'llbelievewhatyouseeprintedinanewspaper?"

"Itdependsverymuchwhatitis.Idon'tbelieveeverythingIseeinpapers."

"That,ifyou'llexcusemysayingso,seemstometobecarryingyourhabitofscepticismtothevergeofactualmania.Idon'tthinkyououghttoadoptthatkindofattitude,Major.Ifyouhadbeentrainedintheology,orevensecularmetaphysics,itmightbeexcusable;thoughthen,ofcourse,youwouldn'tdoit.Butinasimpleandalmostentirelyuneducatedcountrygentlemanlikeyou,it'ssimplygrotesque."

"Goonaboutthenewspaper,J.J."

"Hereitisforyou;butIdon'tseethatit'smuchusegivingitto

youifyourmindismadeupbeforehandtodisbelieveeverywordthat'sinit."

HetookanewspaperfromhispocketandhandedittoMajorKent,indicatingwithhisthumbacolumnonthemiddlepage.

"TheLorimerCase.Judge'sChargetotheJury.Acquittal.

"SceneoutsidetheCourt.EnthusiasmoftheCrowd.ADemonstration."

TheMajorreadaloudtheheavily-leadedlineswhichfilledhalfthecolumn.

"Skipthatpart,"saidMeldon."Thecheersdon'tmattertous,thoughIdaresayMissKingenjoyedthematthetime.Goontothebottomofthenextcolumnwhereyouseethewords'AnInterview'inlargeprint."

"Ourrepresentative,"readtheMajor,"calledthiseveningatMrs.Lorimer'shotel.Hewasatonceshownuptohersitting-room,wherehefoundher--"

"Goon,"saidMeldon;"thatpartaboutherbeingcoolandunembarrassed,andthenextbitaboutherwearingawell-cutgrey



travelling-dress,isn'timportant;though,asamatteroffact,herdresswasgrey."

TheMajorskippedaparagraph,andthenbegantoreadagain.

"'Ialwaysfeltquitecertain,'saidMrs.Lorimer,inreplytoaquestionaskedbyourrepresentative,'aboutwhatthejury'sverdictwouldbe.IhaveperfectconfidenceinthecommonsenseandjusticeofEnglishmen.Infact,Ihadallmyarrangementsmade,throughmysolicitors,formymovementsafterthetrial.Ihavetakenahouseinaveryquietneighbourhood,whereIshallbefreefromallinquisitivepublicity.'"

"There,"saidMeldon,"thosearealmosttheexactwordsMissKingusedtomeinthetrain."

TheMajorwenton,readingaloud.

"'MayIask,'saidourrepresentative,'inwhatpartofthecountry--?''No,'saidMrs.Lorimer,smiling.'Youmaynotaskthat;or,ifyoudo,Ishallnotansweryou.Butyoumaydothisforme,ifyoulike.Youmaytellthehallportertoorderacabforme,afour-wheeler.Ihaveagooddealofluggage.'"

"Shehad,"saidMeldon;"IsawitwhenwegotoutatDunbegstation,anditwasn'tallthere,foroneofhertrunkshadgotlostontheway."

"'Ourrepresentative,'readtheMajor,'shookhandswithMrs.Lorimerassheenteredthecab.TheordergiventothedriverwasEustonstation.Thusaladyofgreatpersonalcharm,whoseterribleexperiencehasforsomeweeksfocussedtheattentionofthecivilisedworldupontheaffairsofherprivatelifepasses--'"

"Youneedn'tgoon,"saidMeldon."Therestofthearticleismerepiffle.Theessentialpartiswhatyou'vereadout,andIimagineitoughttoprettywellclinchthematter.ShedrovetoEuston,intendingtotravelfromthatstationtosomeveryquietneighbourhoodinwhich

shehadtakenahousebeforehand.Nowwherecouldyoupossiblyfindaquieterneighbourhoodthanthis?"

"Idon'tseethatyou'veprovedyourpoint,J.J.TherearealotofotherplacesforwhichyoumightstartfromEuston."

"Notsomanyquietneighbourhoods.ThinkofwheretheLondonandNorth-WesternRailwayruns.Lancashire!Youwouldn'tcallBoltonaquietneighbourhood,Isuppose.NorthWales!Youknowwhatitisatthisseasonoftheyear,thickwithholidaypeople.No.YoumaytakeitforcertainthatifsheleftEustonshecametoIreland.NowallEnglishpeopleheadstraightforthewestassoonastheylandinthiscountry,especiallythosewhohaveanykindofapastthattheyare

anxioustokeepdark.DublinandWicklowarejustasthickwithpeopleasEnglandis.Nobodyeverstopshalf-wayacrossthecountry.Besides,therewasn'tanotherwomaninthetrainwithmewhocouldpossiblyhavebeenMrs.Lorimer."

MajorKentrosefromhischairandknockedtheashesoutofhispipe.

"Idon'tsuppose,J.J.,thatit'sanyusetellingyouthatyou'regoingtomakeanassofyourself."



"Notabit,becauseitisn'ttrue.I'mgoingtoproceedinthemostcircumspectandcautiousmanner.NotthatI'mtheleastafraidofmakinganassofmyself.Ishouldneverdothatunderanycircumstances.ButbecauseIhaveaconscienceandIamafraidofdoingagraveinjustice,IamgoingtoconvincemyselffirstofallthatthisfellowSimpkinsreallydeservestobekilled.Iadmittheforceofallyousaidabouthimlastnight,especiallythatpartabouttheheatingofthechurch;butit'saseriousthingtocondemnamantodeath.It'sathingthatyoucan'tundoagainonceyou'vedoneit.ImustseethemanmyselfbeforeItakeanyfurthersteps."

"Youcan'thavehimhere,J.J.He'sahorridlittlecad,andIwon'thavehiminsidethishouse."

"I'mnotaskingyouto,atpresent.LateronifitbecomesnecessaryintheinterestsofjusticetopatchupsomeappearanceofareconciliationbetweenyouandhimIshall,ofcourse,askhimhere;butinthemeanwhile--"

"Youmayentertainhimyourself,ifyoudo."

"Imay.Butthatwon'tdetermefromdoingmyduty.Youhaven'thadtheeducationinphilosophyandliterature,Major,thatyououghttohavehad;buttheyearsthatyouspentinthearmyoughttohavetaught

youthatnoamountofunpleasantnessshouldpreventamandoinghisduty.Ithoughtthatwasoneofthethingswhichmilitarylifeimpressedonme.Supposenowthatitwasyourdutytostandinapoolofwateronawintrynightlookingoutfortheapproachingarmyofapowerfulenemy.Youwouldn'tlikedoingitbecauseyou'dknowthatyou'dhaveacoldinyourheadnextdaywhichwouldprobablylastyoufortherestofthatparticularcampaign.Butwouldyouallowthatfacttointerferewithyourduty?I'llgiveyoucredit,Major,fornotevenconsideringyourowncomfortinthematter.You'dstandinthepool.Youwouldn'tsomuchassplashabout,andwhenyourfeetgotwetyou'dbearitwithoutgrumbling.Whycan'tyouadmitthatIamactuatedbythesamesortofmotivesindoingmyduty?"

"Butisityourduty?Ican'tsee,really,thatthere'sanyneedforyoutomixyourselfupinitatall."

"Itismyduty,"saidMeldon,"forseveralreasons.Inthefirstplaceyouaremyfriend,andyou'vealwaysbeenkindtome;soit'splainlymydutytodoyouagoodturnwhenIcan.Next,IlikedwhatIsawofMissKing.I'mconvincedthatshe'sinearnestaboutherart,andisreallyworkingatitsimplyforart'ssakeandnotfromanyselfishmotives.Therefore,asaneducatedman,it'smydutytohelpherifIcan,withoutoutragingmyownconscienceoractinginanywayunsuitableforaclergyman.AssumingSimpkinstobethekindofmanyoudescribe,itisapublicduty,thedutyofeverygoodcitizen,toputhimoutoftheworldaltogether.He'snothingbutanuisancehere,

andhecan'tbereallyhappy.Iimaginethatevenforhisownsakehe'dbeagreatdealbetterdead.Hemaynotseethathimself,butit'sverylikelytobetrue.What'stheuseofhisdraggingoutamiserableexistenceinaplacewhereheisgettingmoreandmoreunpopulareveryyear?Hecan'tlikeit.Wheredoeshelive?"

"Helives,"saidMajorKent,"inthatlittlehousejustbeyondthepolicebarrack."

"Thatwon'tsavehim,"saidMeldon."MissKingwouldlaughatour



policeafterslippingthroughthefingersoftheScotlandYardauthorities,andanywayhe'dhavetogoandlivewithheroncethey'remarried.I'llcallthere."

"Atthistimeofday,"saidtheMajor,"he'llprobablybeinhisoffice,nexttoDoyle'shotel."

"I'llleaveacardathishousefirst,"saidMeldon."It'sonlycivil.ThenI'llgoontotheoffice.Isupposeyoucansendmein,Major?I'llwalkback.Iwouldn'tliketokeepyourhorseintownallday.Ishallprobablybealongtime.Ican'tscampthebusiness,youknow.ImustthoroughlyinvestigateSimpkins.Afterthat,I'lllookinandhaveachatwithDoyle."

CHAPTERV.

Mr.EustaceSt.ClairSimpkinspreferredtohavehislettersaddressed"E.St.Clair-Simpkins,Esq.,"asifhissecondChristiannamewerepartofhissurname.Hebelongedbybirthtothehautearistocratie,andbelievedthattheuseofahyphenmadethisfactplaintothemembersofthemiddleclasseswithwhomhecameincontact.Hewasa

manofthirty-fiveyearsofage,butlookedslightlyolder,becausehishairwasrecedingrapidlyfromtheleftsideofhisforehead.Hehadenjoyed,foratime,theeducationaffordedbyoneofthegreatestoftheEnglishpublicschools;butattheageofsixteen,beingthenclassedwithboyssosmallthathelookedridiculousamongthem,hewasremovedatthespecialrequestoftheheadmaster.Aprivatetutor,heavilypaid,tookhiminhand,butwasnomoresuccessfulwithhimthantheschoolmastershadbeen.Attheageofeighteenhewasfoundunfittopassanyoftheexaminationswhichopenthewaytogentlemanlyemployment.Variousjobswerefoundforhimbyhisdespondingparents,butoneveryoccasionhewasreturnedtothempolitely.HedriftedatlastintoanIrishland-agent'soffice.Mr.Tempestwasasuccessfulmanofbusiness,andmanagedestatesinvariouspartsofthecountry

fromhisDublinoffice.HewasunderanobligationtoaLondonsolicitor,whosewifewasthesisterofMrs.Simpkins,themotherofEustaceSt.Clair.Hefeltthathecouldnotverywellrefusetogivetheyoungmansuchachanceasaclerkshipafforded.ThingswentonfairlysatisfactorilyuntilMr.Simpkinsconceivedtheideaofmarryinghisemployer'sdaughter.Hereasoned,quiterightly,thatMissTempest,beinganonlychild,waslikelytohaveasubstantialfortune.Mr.Tempest,unimpressedbythehyphenedSt.Clair,wasunwillingtoallowthecourtshiptoproceed.HesentMr.SimpkinsdowntoBallymoy,andchargedhimwiththemanagementofsuchpartsoftheBuckleyestateaswerenotalreadysoldtotenants.

Mr.Simpkins,forthefirsttimeinhislife,feltthathehadfounda

positionwhichreallysuitedhim.Therewasverylittleworktodo.HereceivedthegroundrentsofthetownofBallymoy;sawthatBallymoyHousewaskeptinrepairandthegroundsintolerableorder;andletthefishingoftherivereveryyearbymeansofadvertisementsinsportingpapers.Manymenwouldhavefoundthelifedull,butMr.Simpkinshadabusyandvigorousmindofasortnotuncommonamongincompetentpeople.Bytemperamenthewasareformerofminorabuses,andBallymoyaffordedhimanalmostuniqueopportunityfortheexerciseofhispowers.Therewere,ofcourse,difficulties.TheinhabitantsofBallymoy,longunaccustomedtothepresenceofareformeramongst



them,haddriftedintoquiet,easywaysofliving.Mr.Simpkins,whowasnotlackinginacertainqualityofquietpersistence,troubledeveryonewithfineimpartiality,andbecameexceedinglyunpopularinBallymoy.TheResidentMagistratehatedbeingobligedtoenforceunnecessarylawssuchasthatwhichforbidscycliststorideonfootpaths,andthatwhichordainsthecarryingoflightedlanternsoncartsatnight.Thepostman,attheotherendoftheofficialscale,likedloiteringonhisrounds,andhadadoptedapleasanthabitofhandingonletterstoanywayfarerwhomightbesupposedtobeproceedinginthedirectionoftheplacetowhichtheletterswereaddressed.EveryonewithapublicdutyofanysorttoperformwasstimulatedbyMr.Simpkins,andconsequentlycametohatehim.

AfterawhileMr.Doyle,onwhom,aschiefcitizen,thedutynaturallydevolved,gotupapetitiontoMr.Tempest.ThenecessityforremovingMr.Simpkinswaspresentedinthestrongestterms.Mr.Tempest,whowasamanofwideexperienceandkindlyheart,sympathisedwithMr.Doyleandtheotherswhosignedthepetition,buthedidnotrecallMr.Simpkins.HeknewofnoplaceinIrelandfurtherfromDublinthanBallymoyis;anditappearedtohimaboveallthingsdesirabletokeepMr.Simpkinsatadistance.Itwasbetter,inhisopinion,thatBallymoyshouldsuffer,thanthathisownhouseshouldbehauntedonSundaysandhisofficedisorganisedonweek-daysbyMr.Simpkins.HeacknowledgedthereceiptoftheBallymoypetition,andpromised,

mendaciously,toconsiderthematter.

MeldondroveintoBallymoyonthefirstmorningofhisholiday,andwentstraighttoMr.Simpkins'house.Heleftacardthere,andthenwalkedontotheoffice.Mr.Simpkinswasintheoffice,andMeldongreetedhimwithawarmthwhichseemedactuallyaffectionate.Mr.Simpkinswassurprised,andrubbedhishand,whichhadbeenhurtbytheheartywayinwhichMeldonshookit.

"Isthere,"heasked,inapuzzledtone,"anythingthatIcandoforyou?"

"Nothing,"saidMeldon;"nothingwhatever.IftherewasI'msureyou'd

doit,andIshouldn'thesitatetoaskyou.Butthereisn't.Isimplycalledintohaveachat.Youwon'tmindifIsmoke,willyou?"

"Ineversmokeinmyoffice,"saidSimpkins."Idislikefreeandeasyandslipshodwaysofdoingbusiness."

Meldonfilledandlithispipe.

"You'reperfectlyright,"hesaid."There'snothingimpressestheintelligentstrangersounfavourablyasthesmelloftobaccoinanofficewhenhecomesintoitinthehopeofdoingbusinesswithacompetentman.Iwishyouwouldimpressyourideaonthatsubject,andImaysayagoodmanyothersubjects,onthepeopleofthistown.They

arelamentablydeficientinwhatImaycalltheetiquetteofcommerciallife;andyetalltheselittlepointscountforalot.YouandIknowthat."

Simpkinshesitated.Hewasatfirstinclinedtobeangry.Meldonwassmokingvigorously,andhistobaccowasofthekinddescribedas"full-flavoured."Buttheremarksabouttheetiquetteofbusinesswerecertainlysound.Mr.SimpkinsreallybelievedthathehadamissiontoteachmannersandmethodtothepeopleofBallymoy.



"Wouldyoumindtellingme,"hesaidatlast,"whoyouare?"

"Notintheleast,"saidMeldon;"Ishallbequitepleased.AtthesametimeIthinkIoughttopointouttoyouthat,ifyou'dbeenonspeakingtermswithMajorKent,you'dhaveheardallaboutmeweeksago,andverylikelywouldhavebeenaskedtodinnertomeetmelastnight.WhyhaveyouquarrelledwiththepoorMajor?He'saniceenoughsortofman,andmostpeoplefindhimeasyenoughtogetonwith."

"Itwashewhoquarrelledwithme.Ihadnointention--"

"Soitwas.Irememberthatnow;somethingaboutfishing,wasn'tit?Curioushowpeoplewilllosetheirtempersaboutridiculouslittletrifles.That'stheworstofplaceslikethis.Thepeoplewhohaveneverlivedanywhereelsebecomeirritableandtakeoffenceaboutnothing,simplybecausetheirmindsarecutofffromwiderinterests.YouandI,now,knowthatnofishintheworld,howeverlarge,isworthfightingabout.Wewouldn't,eitherofus,mindabitifsomeotherfellowcamealongandhookedthewhalewhichwehadmarkeddownasourprivateprey."

Simpkinswaspuzzledagain.Thedoctrineaboutfishingrightsstruckhimasslightlysocialistic.Itmightpossiblybeapplicableinthe

caseofwhales,butsocietycouldscarcelysurviveasanorganisedwholeifmanymenregardedthepossessionofsalmonasofnoimportance.Atthesametimehewaspleased;itgratifiedhimimmenselytobehailedasafellowcitizenofalargerworld.

"Wouldyoumind,"hesaid,speakinginquiteafriendlytone,"tellingmeyourname?"

"Notintheleast,"saidMeldon."Isaidsobefore.Asamatteroffact,sofarfromhavinganywishtoconcealmynamefromyou,IwentroundtoyourhousebeforeIcalledhereandleftmycardonyou.You'llfindittherewhenyougetback.Ialwaysliketobestrictintheobservanceoftherulesofcivilisedsociety.Iparticularly

disliketheslackwaysintowhichpeopleinplaceslikethisareinclinedtodrift.ImustsayfortheMajor,he'snotasbadastherestinthatrespect.Healwaysdressesfordinner."

"SodoI."

"I'mgladtohearit.ThatoughttobeabondofunionbetweenyouandtheMajor.YoumustbetheonlytwomeninBallymoywhodo.Bytheway,haveyoumetMissKing?"

"No.Shearrivedyesterday,Ihear;butIhaven'tseenher."

"Yououghttogoupandcallonheratonce.You'lllikeher,I'm

sure.She'sverygood-looking."

Hepausedforamoment.TheannouncementdidnotseemtoexciteSimpkins'interest.Hewas,indeed,notofthetemperamentwhichisstronglymovedbybeautyorpersonalcharm.

"She'salsoveryrich,"saidMeldon.

"IthoughtshemustbeprettywelloffwhenshetookBallymoyHouse."



"Sheis.Andwhat'smore,she'suncommonlywellconnected.Heruncleisanearl.Iforgetatthismomentwhathisexacttitleis;butIknowhe'sanearl,andIhaveitonverygoodauthoritythathe'slikelytobemadeamarquisquitesoon."

Hepaused,andwasgratifiedtoobservethatSimpkinsappearedtobegreatlyinterestedbythisinformationaboutMissKing.Hepursuedhisadvantageatonce.

"Ishallcallonhermyself,"hesaid,"thoughthere'snotreallymuchuseinmymakingmyselfagreeabletoher.I'mmarriedalready.TheMajorwouldhavetoldyouthat,too,ifyou'dbeenonspeakingtermswithhim.YoureallymustmakeitupwiththeMajor,Simpkins.IhopetoseeagooddealofyouwhileI'minBallymoy,anditwillbemostinconvenientformeifyouwon'tspeaktotheMajorwhileI'mstayinginhishouse."

"DidyousaythatyouknewMissKing?"

"Notintimately,"saidMeldon;"atleastnotveryintimately.Itravelleddowninthetrainwithheryesterday,andwehadapleasantchattogether.IfIwasn'tmarriedalready--butthere'snousetalkingaboutthat.AndIdon'tforamomentsupposethattheMajorwillcareabouthavingatry.He'saconfirmedoldbachelor.Thoughitwouldbe

arightgoodthingforhimifhedid.MissKingmusthaveawholepotofmoney,andshelookstomethesortofwomanwhomitwouldbequiteeasytomarry.I'mafraidImustbegoingnow.I'msogladIcaughtyou,Simpkins.I'veheardalotaboutyouduringtheshorttimeI'vebeeninBallymoy;andImaysay,withouttheleastwishtoflatter,thatIwasmostanxioustomeetyou.Good-bye,andbesuretocallonMissKing.It'sapitytothinkofthatpoorgirlallaloneinagreatbarrackofaplacelikeBallymoyHouse,withoutacivilisedcreaturetospeakto."

MeldonlefttheOfficeverywellsatisfiedwithhimself.Hewentnextintothehotel.Thedaywashot,andtherewasverylittlegoingoninthetown.Thestreetswerealmostempty,forthecountrypeoplewere

busyontheirfarms.Thehotelappearedtobeentirelydeserted.Thewaiterhadleftthecoffeeroom,andgonetovisitafriendinthepolicebarrack.Thebarmaid,afterfinishingonepennynovel,hadgoneintotheshopnextdoortoborrowanotherfromthemilliner.Meldonpenetratedtothekitchen,andfoundanuntidymaidasleep,veryuncomfortably,onanuprightchair.Shewokewithastartwhenhebangedafrying-panagainstthefrontoftheoven.

"IhopeIhaven'tstartledyou,"hesaidpolitely."IshallbegreatlyobligedifyouwilltellmewhereMr.Doyleistobefound."

"He'swithininhisownroom;andwhat'smore,thedoctor'salongwithhim,andhedidsaythatnobodywastobeletnextornighhimby

reasonofhisbeingbusy."

"Ifhe'sbusy,"saidMeldon,"he'stheonlymaninBallymoythatis,exceptingmyself;andanywaythatprohibitiondoesn'tapplytome.I'manoldfriend.I'lljuststepinandseehim.Youneedn'tannounceme.Ifyoulikeyoucangotosleepagain;butifIwereyouI'dbebeginningtogetthedinner.It'sneartwelveo'clock."

"Isit,then?"



"Itis.IsyournameBridgetorMary?"

"It'sSabinatheycallme."

"You'renotabad-lookinggirl,Sabina;andifyou'dattendtoyourbusinessinsteadofgoingtosleepinthemiddleoftheday,youmightdiearichwomanyet."

"Iwouldnot,then.Howwouldthelikeofmeberich?"

"Youcertainlywon'tbe,"saidMeldon,"ifyoudon'tdoyourwork."

"Thepotatoesisinthepot,"saidSabina.

"Theymaybe;butMr.Doylewillbelookingformorethanpotatoesatdinnertime.Hedoesn'tlookasifhelivedentirelyonpotatoes."

Sabinagrinned.Doylewasaportlyman.

"Itwon'ttakemelongtofryacoupleofrashers,"shesaid,"oncethegreaseishot."

"Andisfriedbaconandpotatoesallyou'regoingtogivethepoorman?Whatwagesdoeshepayyou?"

"Sixpounds."

"Verywell.Nowlistentome,Sabina.Youputyourbackintoitandcookthemanadecentdinner.Givehimsoup,andthenanicelydonechopwithadishofspinachandsomefriedpotatoes.Afterthatasweetomelette--"

"GlorybetoGod!"saidSabina.

"Andthenalittlesavoury,tomatoandolives,beatentoacream,withtheyolkofahard-boiledeggservedupontoast,cutintodice."

"Arrah,whattalk!"saidSabina.

"Gethimaccustomedtothatsortofdinnerforthreeweeksoramonth,andthenaskhimforariseinyourwages.He'llgiveittoyou."

"Hewouldnot."

"Hewould.Anymanwould.Themistakeyoumakeishalf-starvinghim.Thatmakeshistemperbad,and--"

"Iwouldn'tsaythenthateverIheardacrosswordoutofhismouth,"saidSabina,"unlessitmightbewhenhe'dbetalkingofMr.Simpkinsorthelike."

"Isupposeheswearsthen,"saidMeldon.

"Hedoesterrible."

"Idon'twonder.Ineverswearmyself.Beingaclergyman,Ican't,ofcourse.ButfromwhatI'veseenofMr.Simpkins,andfromwhatI'veheardabouthim,Ishouldthinkhe'dmakemostmenswear.Doyouknowhimatallintimately,Sabina?"



"Idonot;butthegirlthat'swithhimbeyondinthehouseisacousinofmyown,andIhearhertalkingabouthim.Shedoesbesayingthatthelikeofhimfornonsensicalgoingsonsheneverseen.She--"

"Thankyou,"saidMeldon."Idon'twanttohearyourcousin'sviewsofMr.Simpkins'domesticarrangements.She'sred-haired,ifshe'sthegirlthatopenedthedoortomeawhileago,andIneverknewoneofhercolourthatspokethetruth."

Sabinawasloyaltoherfamily.SheresentedMeldon'sremark.

"Ifyouweretoputmeonmyoath,"shesaid,"Iwouldn'tcallthehairthat'sonyourownheadblack,noryetyellow."

"Myhair,"saidMeldon,"iswhat'scalledauburn;andinanycaseIhavemorestrengthofcharacterthantobedrivenintountruthfulnessbythecolourofmyhair.DidyousayitwasDr.O'DonoghuewasinsidewithMr.Doyle?"

"Itis,"saidSabina.

"Isuppose,now,heisn'tparticularlyfondofMr.Simpkinseither."

Sabinagrinnedbroadly.

"Fromthepleasantwayinwhichyou'resmiling,"saidMeldon,"IthinkImaytakeitforgrantedthatDr.O'Donoghuewouldn'tgofaroutofhiswaytofindoutexactlythekindofmedicinethatwouldcureMr.Simpkinsifbyanychancehehappenedtofallsick."

"Hewouldnot.Buttheydosayhe'dpoisonhimifhegotthechance."

"Idon'twanthimtodothat.Ishouldbeverysorryifhedid.AllIwanttobesureofisthatthedoctorwouldn'tputhimselfouttocureMr.Simpkinsifanybodyelsepoisonedhim."

"TheLordsaveus!"saidSabina."Isitmurderyou'rethinkingof?"

"Itisnot,"saidMeldon."Don'tgetanyfoolishideaofthatkindintoyourhead.I'mnotamurderer.I'mmerelyputtingwhatiscalledasupposititiouscase,withaviewtofindingoutwhatDr.O'Donoghue'srealfeelingsare.Idon'tsupposeyouknowwhatasupposititiouscaseis?"

"Idonot.ItwasabackwardplacewhereIwasreared,andIwasn'tkepttoschoolregular;andwhat'smore,theIrishwasn'ttaughtinthemtimes."

"Itwouldn'thavehelpedyoumuchifitwas,"saidMeldon."Asupposititiouscaseisthesamething,verynearly,asahypothetical

proposition.Itconsistsoftwoparts,aprotasisandanapodosis.Forinstance--"

"It'slaughingatmeyouare."

"Itisnot,buttryingtoeducateyoualittle.Forinstance,IshouldbeputtingahypotheticalcaseifIweretosay,'SupposingyoucookedthedinnerIdescribedeverydayforMr.Doyle--'"

"Icouldn'tdoitthen,forIwouldn'tbefit."



"That'sexactlywhatmakesitasupposititiouscase,"saidMeldon."Nowperhapsyou'llunderstandthatIdon'tintendtopoisonMr.Simpkinsmyself."

"Northedoctorwon'tdoitforyou,"saidSabina.

"Yousaidaminuteagothathewould."

"Hewouldnot,forhe'sanicegentleman,assimpleandinnocentasachild,onlyanoddtimewhenhistemperwouldberiz."

"Anywayhewon'tbeaskedto.Good-bye,Sabina.I'lllookinandseeyounexttimeI'mpassing.Don'tletthatred-hairedcousinofyoursbeputtingphosphorouspaste,oranyofthosepatentratpoisons,intoMr.Simpkins'food.She'llgetherselfintotroubleifshedoes."

CHAPTERVI.

MeldonopenedthedoorofMr.Doyle'sprivatesitting-roomwithoutknockingandwalkedin.ThehotelkeeperandDr.O'Donoghueweresitting

atoppositeendsofthetable,withabottleofwhiskyandajugofwaterbetweenthem.Doyle,whowasplacedwithhisbacktothedoor,spokewithoutlookinground.

"Didn'tItellyou,SabinaGallagher,"hesaid,"thatifyoucameintothisroom,interruptingmeandthedoctor,I'dcutthetwoearsoffyou,andsendyoubacktoyourmotherwiththeminaboxinthewellofthecar?DidItellyouthatordidInot?AndnownothingwilldoyoubuttoflingopenthedoorasiftheLord-LieutenantandtherestofthemplayboysbeyondinDublinCastlewas--"

TheexpressionofDr.O'Donoghue'sfacemadeMr.Doylepause.HeturnedandsawMeldonstandingonthethreshold.

"Bedamn!"hesaid,"ifitisn'tMr.Meldon.TheMajorwastellingmelastweekhewasexpectingyou.You'relookingwell,soyouare.Englandagreeswithyou."

"Ican'tsayasmuchforyou,"saidMeldon."You'regettingfat.Yououghttotakemoreexercise.Whydon'tyoustartagolflinks?Itwoulddoyouallthegoodintheworld,andbeanattractiontothehotelbesides."

"IfI'mputtingonflesh,"saidDoyle,"it'saqueerthing,forthelife'sfairtormentedoutofme."

"Simpkins,Isuppose,"saidMeldon.

"Thesame,"saidDoyle."ThelikeofthatmanformakingtroubleinaplaceIneverseen;no,nornobodyelse."

"Ihear,"saidMeldon,"thatthedoctor'sthinkingofpoisoninghim."

"Whoevertoldyouthattoldyoualie,"saidDr.O'Donoghue;"notbutwhat--"



"Myselfandthedoctor,"saidDoyle,"wasmakingupplanswhenyoucomeinonus.Wewasthinkingofwhatyoumightcallanambuscade,workedsoaswe'dgetthebetterofhimwithouthisbeingabletotakethelawofus;andhe'smightyfondofthelaw,thatsamegentleman--toofond."

"IfIcanbeofanyhelptoyou,"saidMeldon,"youcancountonme.Ihaveagooddealofnaturaltalentforambuscades.Trotoutthedetailsofyourscheme,andI'llbeabletotellyouintwowordswhetherit'sworkableornot."

"Theydosay,"saidDoyle,"thathehasthefishinglettoanEnglishgentleman;andhe'smightyparticularaboutpreservingit.Nowthedoctorherehasthenameofbeingagoodfisherman."

"Ifhegoespoaching,"saidMeldon,"he'llgettheworstofit.TheMajorappearstohavetriedthaton,andhesimplymadethingsunpleasantforhimself,withoutannoyingSimpkinsintheleast."

"It'snotpoachingwe'rethinkingof,"saidDoyle;"but--youknowI'mamagistratethesetimes,onaccountofbeingtheChairmanoftheUrbanCouncil."

"Iknowthat;butifyou'rethinkingofdraggingupSimpkinsbeforethePettySessionsonaboguscharge,youmayaswellputtheideaoutof

yourheadatonce.Itwon'twork.You'llhavetheMajorontheBenchwithyou,andthoughhedoesn'tliketheman,Idon'tthinkhe'dcommithimtoprisonforcrueltytochildren,orbreakingwindowswhileundertheinfluenceofdrink,oranythingofthatsort,unlesshe'dreallydoneit."

"Iwouldn'tdothelike,"saidDoyle,"andnomorewouldthedoctor."

"Ourplan,"saidthedoctor,"istogetasalmon,alargesalmon."

"Poachit?"saidMeldon.

"No;buyit.Doylewouldbuyit.Thenhe'dgiveittomeinthe

presenceofseveralwitnesses--"

"Sabinawoulddoforone,"saidMeldon,"She'samostintelligentgirl,andI'msureshe'dswearanythingafterwardsthatshewaswantedto."

"Shewouldn'thavetoswearanythingbutthetruth,"saidDoyle.

"Ofcoursenot,"saidMeldon."Butlotsofpeoplewon'tdoeventhat."

"I'dgouptheriver,"saidDr.O'Donoghue,"andI'dtakemyrodandlanding-netandthesalmonwithme,andI'dsitdownonthebankandwait."

"Simpkins,"saidDoyle,"doesbewalkingupalongtherivereveryevening,sothedoctorwouldn'tbethereforverylongbeforehe'dbecaught."

"Isee,"saidMeldon."TheideawouldbeforSimpkinstoprosecutethedoctorforpoachingthatsalmon,andthentotrotoutSabinaincourttoprove--"

"Sabinaandtherestofthewitnesses,"saidDoyle."We'dhaveplenty."



"It'snotabadambuscadeatall,"saidMeldon.

"TheMajor,"saidDoyle,"wouldtalkstraighttohimofftheBench,thewayhe'dfeelsmall;andI'dhaveawordortwomyselftosaytohimaftertheMajorwasdone.Andthepolicewouldbestandingroundsmilinglike--"

"Ican'timagineanythingmoreunpleasant,"saidMeldon,"thanbeinggrinnedatbyapoliceman.Allthesame,Ithinkitwillbebetternottocatchhiminthatambuscade."

"Andwhynot?"saidDoyle.

"Thefactis,"saidMeldon,"I'mthinkingofdealingwiththemanmyself,andI'dratherhewasleftentirelyinmyhandsforthepresent."

"Bedamn!"saidDoyle,"butIwouldn'taskbetterthanjustforyourselftotakeinhandandhunthimoutoftheplacealtogether."

"It'syoucoulddoit,"saidDr.O'Donoghue.

"Itis,"saidDoyle."DivilthebettermanatdevisingofambuscadeseverIcomeacross,andI'veknownsomeinmydaythatyoumightcallgladiators."

"I'mnotpreciselyaprofessionalgladiator,"saidMeldonmodestly;"butI'vestudiedstrategyalittleinmytime,andIratherthinkI'llgetthebetterofMr.Simpkins.Isupposenowyouwouldnotobjecttoattendinghisfuneral?"

"Iwouldnot,"saidDoyle,"ifsobetherewasnoriskofmybeinghangedforanyshareImighthaveinbringingthesameabout."

"There'snottheleastchanceofthat,"saidMeldon."Youwon'thavetodoanythingexceptrefrainfrommakingapublicfoolofthemanwithanykindoftricksaboutsalmonforthenextfortnight."

"Whatisityou'rethinkingofdoing?"askedDoyle.

"Thedoctor,"saidMeldon,"willofcoursehavetosignthedeathcertificate."

"I'lldothat,"saidDr.O'Donoghue,"assoonaseveryousatisfymethattheman'sdead.Ifthereisn'taholedrilledinhisskullwithabullet,I'llsayit'sheartfailurethatfinishedhim.Afterthewayhebehavedtome,Ican'tbeexpectedtomakeapostmortemofhim.IdaresaytheMajorwastellingyouwhathedid."

"IhearhewantedyoutoputsomeridiculoussanitaryactinforceagainstpoorDoyle.That,ofcourse,wasquiteintolerable."

"Therewasworsebesidesthat,"saidDr.O'Donoghuegloomily.

"Hehaditputoutagainstthedoctor,"saidDoyle,"thatoldBiddyFinnegandiedforthewantofpropermedicalattendance,andherawomanofnearninety,thatwasboundtodieanyway,andwouldhavediedsooner,mostlikely,ifthedoctorhadn'tletheralonethewayhedid."

"Thatoldwoman,"saidthedoctor,"wasn'tneglected.Shehadabottlebyher,whenshedied,thatIsentouttoherlessthanaweekbefore,



andshehadn'tthehalfofitdrunk.What'smore,Iwouldn'thavemindedabitifSimpkinshadhadanyrighttobeinterfering;buthehadn't.ThadyFlanagan--that'smarriedtooldBiddy'sgrand-daughter--wascontentedenoughwiththewayshedied,andaskedmecivillywouldIhaveanyobjectiontohistakinghomethehalf-bottleofmedicinefortheuseofoneofhisownchildren.WhatIsayis,thatifthewoman'sownrelationshadnocomplainttomake,whatbusinesshadSimpkinstobeputtinginhisoar?Whataggravatedmewasthatkindofgratuitousandunnecessaryinterfering."

"Iquiteseeyourpoint,"saidMeldon."It's--"

"You'veonlyheardthehalfofit,"saidDoyle."Thedoctor'sbackwardintellingyou,andsmallblametohim;butSimpkinswroteofftotheLocalGovernmentBoard,preferringalotofchargesagainstthedoctor,andagainstmyselfasChairmanoftheBoardofGuardians--thingsyou'dwonderanymanwouldhavethefacetosay."

"Whathappened?"saidMeldon.

"We'vequietenedthemdownforthepresent,"saidDoyle,"buttherewasalotoftalkofaswornenquiry.AndwhatdidSimpkinsdoitforifitwasn'tjustthedelighthetakesindestroyingthepeaceofthetown?Youknowverywell,Mr.Meldon,thewayweallpulledtogetherhere,

CatholicsandProtestants,andneverhadanybadfeeling.Andwhere'sthegoodofbringingintheLocalGovernmentBoardtobestirringupstrifeamongus?Butthat'snotallhedid,northehalforit.HewrotealetterlastOctobertotheInspector-GeneralofthePolice,complainingofthesergeantbeyond,thathewasn'tdoinghisduty."

"Iwouldn'texpectyoutobetakingthepartofthepolice,"saidMeldon."YoualwayswentinforbeingastrongNationalist."

"AndsoIam,"saidDoyle."Andso'sthedoctor.Inageneralwaythereisn'ttwomeninIrelandthathatesthepoliceworsethanthedoctorandmyself;butthesergeantwasadecent,poorman,withalongfamilydependentonhim,andIneverheardtellofhisdoinganyharmtoany

one."

"Perhaps,"saidMeldon,"thatwasthereasonMr.Simpkinscomplainedofhim.Afterall,Doyle,wemustbereasonable.Whatarethepolicefor,ifitisn'ttodoharmtopeople--objectionablepeople?Apolicemanwhoneverinjuresanybodyisn'tworthhiskeep.Ifwhatyousayaboutthesergeantistrue,oranythingliketrue,Simpkinswasevidentlyperfectlyjustifiedinactingashedid."

"Youwon'tsaythat,"saidDoyle,"whenyouhearthewayithappened.There'stwoappletreesinthegardenatthebackofthehouseSimpkinslivesin."

"Irememberthem,"saidMeldon;"butthereneverwereanyapplesontheminmytime."

"Therewereapplesonthemlastyear,"saidDoyle,"howevertheycamethere.Simpkinsdidbesayingitwasonaccountofthewayheprunedthetrees;buthe'dbetalkingalongtimebeforeI'dbelievethelikeofthat.Anyway,theappleswerethere,andagoodmanyofthem.Ididn'tseethemmyself,buttheytellmetheremighthavebeenuptotenstonealtogether.Well,onenightthehalfofthemwasgone.Thegossuresfromaboutthetownhadthemate."



"Ofcoursetheyhad,"saidMeldon."Whatwouldyouexpect?"

"Whatnobodywouldexpect,"saidDoyle,"wasthetemperSimpkinswasininthemorning.Hewasupanddown,inandoutofthepolicebarrack,cursingallsorts.Well,thesergeantcameoutandlookedatthetrees,andheaskedSimpkinsdidhehavetheapplescountedbeforetheyweretook,andwouldhebepreparedtosweartothemifsobethatthepolicefoundthemforhim.You'dthinkthatwouldhavepacifiedhim,butitdidn't.Sothesergeant,whowantedtodothebesthecouldforthepeaceofthetown,wentdowntothehouseagainafterhehadhisdinnerate,andtwoconstablesalongwithhim,andaskedthegirlthatdoesbewithMr.Simpkins--"

"Sabina'sred-hairedcousin,"saidMeldon.

"Askedher,"saidDoyle,"wasthereeveraboyabouttheplaceatnight;whichofcoursetherewasn't,herbeingarespectablegirlthatwasn'tkeepingcompanywithanyboy,unlessitmightbewalkingoutnowandthenofaSundaywithJamesyCarroll.Believeyoume,ittookthesergeantallheknewtoquietendownhermotherthatwasoveratthebarracksaskingforthenameofthevillainthatwastakingawayherdaughter'scharacter.Thatnighttherestoftheappleswastook,andSimpkinswasfittobeputintheasyluminthemorning.Hesaidthesergeantwasan

incompetentjackass.--Wasn'tthemthewordsheused,doctor?"

"Andothersalongwiththem,"saidDr.O'Donoghue.

"Thesergeant,beingamanwho'dalwayskepthimselftohimselfanddidn'tmixwithbadcompany,wasn'tgoingnearthehousewhilethelikeofthatlanguagewasgoingon.Buthesentdownthewholeofthefourconstablestolookattheappletrees;whichtheydid.ButSimpkinsgotworseinsteadofbetter.HewroteoffanotetotheDistrictInspectorcomplainingofthesergeant.ButtheD.I.hadmoresensethantotakeanynotice,knowingwellthatifthere'sanappleintheplacethegossureswillgetit,andsmallblametothem."

"Sensibleman,"saidMeldon.

"WhenSimpkinsgotnosatisfactionoutofhim,"saidDoyle,"hewrotetotheCountyInspector.Icantellyouhetookmightylittlebythat.Itwasaweekafter,ormaybemore,whenhegotananswerback.ItwasSabinaGallaghertoldmewhatwasinit,havinggotitoutofhercousin,that'sservanttoSimpkinsandseentheletter,soIknowwhatI'mtellingyouisthetruth.TheCountyInspectorsaidthatiftherewasboycottingintheplace,orcattledriving,oranykindoflawlessness,he'dbequickenoughtohaveextrapolicedraftedinandabatonchargeupanddownuponthestreetsofthetown;butthathewasn'tgoingtoupsetthepolicyoftheGovernment,andmaybehavequestionsaskedabouthiminParliament,forthesakeofafewshillings'worthofapples.

You'dthinkthatwouldhavebeenenoughforSimpkins,butitwasn't.Hewroteanotherletter,uptoDublinCastle,totheInspector-GeneralofPolice,noless,andtheendofit,wasthatthesergeantwasmovedoutofthis."

"Poorfellow,"saidMeldon."Didhemindmuch?"

"Hedidnotthen,fortheysenthimtoabetterstation.Itwasonlylastweektheymovedhim,therebeingalotofenquiriestobegonethroughthatoccupiedthemthewholeofthewinterandthespring.The



doctorandmyselfisthinkingofgettingupasubscriptiontopresenthimwithanilluminatedaddressonaccountofthewayheconductedhimselftothesatisfactionoftheinhabitantsofthistownwhilehewasinit,andasaprotestagainsttheunderhandwaythatSimpkinswentabouttryingtoinjurehimandtakethebreadoutofthemouthofhischildren."

"I'llseethattheMajorsubscribestothat,"saidMeldon.

"TellMr.Meldon,"saidDoyle,"whatitwasyouweresayingoughttobeontheaddress."

"Itisn'tworthspeakingabout,"saidthedoctormodestly.

"You'dbettertellme,"saidMeldon."IfI'mtoberesponsibleforrevengingthewrongsofthecommunityonSimpkins,Ioughttobewellupineverydetailofwhat'sgoingon."

"Itwasnothingbutjustanideathatcameacrossmymind,"saidthedoctor.

"Itmaybeonlythat,"saidMeldon,"butitmaybemore.Theproperpersontojudgeofitsimportanceisme.Youmusthavefrequentlyobserved,doctor,thatthemantowhomanideaoccursisnotbyanymeansthebestjudgeofitsvalue.Sometimeshethinkstoomuchofit.Take

Galileo,forinstance.Hehituponthefactthattheearthgoesroundthesun,anditstruckhimasimmenselyimportant.Hegassedonaboutituntileverybodygotsotiredofthesubjectthattheauthoritieshadtoputhiminprisonandkeephimthereuntilhesaiditwasn'ttrue,andthathe'dstopwritingbookstosayitwas.Asamatteroffactitwastrue,butitdidn'tmatter.We'dallbedoingexactlythesamethingswearedoingto-dayifhehadnevermadehisbeastlytelescope.Ontheotherhand,menwhogetaholdofreallyimportantideasoftenthinkverylittleofthem.Look,forexample,atthecaseofthemanwhofirstthoughtofcollectingalotofpeopletogetherandmakingthempassaunanimousresolution.Hedidn'teventakethetroubletopatenttheprocess,andnowthere'snorecordleftofwhenandwherehehituponhisidea.Andyet,wherewouldweallbewithoutunanimousresolutions?

Doylewilltellyouthatgovernmentcouldn'tbecarriedonandcivilisationwouldpracticallybecomeextinct.Itmaybethesamewiththisideaofyours,andI'venodoubtthatI'llbeabletojudgeifyoutellmewhatitis."

"Hewasthinking,"saidDoyle,"ofhavingapictureofanappletreeinthetopleft-handcorneroftheaddresswithapplesonit,andthesametreeinthetopright-handcornerwithnoapples.Hesaysitwouldbeagreeabletothesergeant."

"Idon'tthinkmuchofthat,"saidMeldon."Itstrikesmeasapooridea,forthreereasons.Inthefirstplace,you'llnotbeabletogetanartistwhocandrawtheappletreessothatanyordinarymancould

recognisethem.IknowwhatI'mtalkingabout,forappletreesnecessarilycomeagooddealintoecclesiasticalart,thekindofartI'mmostfamiliarwith.Igiveyoumywordthatthemostofthemmightaswellbeelms,andI'veseenlotsthatlooklikeFlorenceCourtyews.Asageneralrule,youwouldn'thaveaghostofanotionwhattheyweremeantforifitwasn'tforEveandtheserpent.Inthenextplace,Idon'tthinkthesergeantwouldcareforit.Thewholebusinessmustbepainfultohim,andhewon'tcaretobeobligedeverydayofhislifetobestaringatsomethingthatwouldremindhimofSimpkins.Inthethirdplace,itwouldalmostcertainlyirritateSimpkinswhenheheardofit."



"It'sthat,"saidDoyle,"thatwewerehopingitmightdo."

"Well,then,youmayputtheideaoutofyourheads.Ican'thaveSimpkinsirritatedatpresent.It'softheutmostpossibleimportancethatheshouldbelulledintoasenseofsecurity.Ican'tdealwithhimifhissuspicionsarearousedintheslightest.I'vebeenwithhimmyselfthismorning,lullinghim."

"Wereyou,then?"saidDoyle.

"Iwas,andIthinkImaysaythatfortheimmediatepresenthe'slulled."

"Andhowdidyoulikehim?"saidDoyle.

"Myfeelingsdon'tmatter,"saidMeldon."Asamatteroffact,judgingfromasingleinterview,Ishouldsayhewasapleasantenough,straightforwardsortofmanwhoistryingtodowhatisright."

"Ifhetriedless,"saidDoyle,"he'dgetonbetter."

"Quiteso.Andyoumustn'tthinkthatI'mgoingtoallowmypersonalfeelingstointerferewithmyactioninthematter.TheMajorismyfriend,andIhaveagreatregardforthepooroldrector,inspiteof

hissufferingfrombronchitis.AlsoIlikethepeopleofBallymoy,andI'mreadytohelptheminanywayIcan.So,whateveropinionIhaveformedofSimpkins,I'mgoingtodealwithhimpreciselyasifheweremypersonalenemy."

"Whatdoyoumeantodotohim?"saidthedoctor."Youwerespeakingthisminuteofapostmortem."

"Itwon'tcometothat,"saidMeldon,"unlessyouboggleoverthedeathcertificate.ButtheprecisedetailsofmyschemeImustkeeptomyselfforthepresent,merelysayingthatIshallbeseverewithhim.Icouldn't,infact,besevererifIcaughthimthrowingstonesatmyinfantdaughter."

"IsthattheonetheMajorstoodfor?"saidDoyle."Hewastalkingtomeabouther.Afinechildsheisbyallaccounts."

"Shewasafinechild,"saidMeldon,"untilshegotthewhooping-cough.Sincethenshe'sbeenwakefulatnight.--Bytheway,doctor,whatdoyouthinkistheproperwaytofeedachildthathasthewhooping-cough?Atthepresenttimeshe'slivingchieflyonakindofyellowdrinkmadeupoutofapowderystuffoutofatinwhichtasteslikebiscuitswhenit'sdry.Wouldyousaynowthatwasagoodfoodforher?"

"Youcanrearachild,"saidthedoctor,"whetherithasthewhooping-coughornot,onprettynearanything,solongasyougiveit

enoughofwhateveritisyoudogiveit."

"I'mgladtobearyousaythat,"saidMeldon;"formywifehasanotionthatfoodoughttobeweighedoutbyounces,sothatthechildwouldn'tgettoomuchatatime."

"Didshegetthatoutofabook?"

"Shedid--alittlebookwithapinkcoveronit.Doyouknowit?"



"Idonot;butifIwereyouI'dburnit."

"Idid,"saidMeldon."Iburneditbeforeitwasaweekinthehouse.IfIhadn'tbeenagood-temperedman,I'dhaveburnedthebabyalongwithit.Shespentthewholeoffournightscrying,andthatwasbeforeshegotthewhooping-cough,sotherewasnoexcuseforher."

"Itwashungerailedherthen,"saidthedoctor.

"Itwas,"saidMeldon."Ifoundthatoutafterwards,forshestoppedcryingassoonasevershegotenoughtoeat.IfI'dallowedhertobebroughtupontheprincipleslaiddowninthatbookhertemperwouldhavebeenruinedforlife,andshe'dhavebeenanuisancetoeveryoneshecameacross."

"Iwouldn'twonder,"saidDoyle,"butitmightbeaccordingtothatbookthatSimpkinswasreared.Itwouldbehardtoaccountforthekindofmanheisanyotherway."

"Itmightbethat,"saidthedoctor;"butI'dsaymyselfit'smorelikelytobethewantofbeatingwhenhewasyoungthat'sthematterwithhim."

"Willyoustayandhaveabitofdinnernowyou'rehere,Mr.Meldon?"saidDoyle."Iwouldn'tlikeyourtemperwouldbedestroyedforthewant

ofwhatI'dbegladtogiveyou."

Meldonlookedathiswatch.

"Thankyou,"hesaid,"Iwill.It'soneo'clock,andSabinaoughttohavethebaconreadybynowifshestartedcookingitthetimeItoldher."

CHAPTERVII.

BallymoyHouse,savefortheoccasionalpresenceofafishingtenant,hasbeenunoccupiedforyears.Twomenareemployedtokeepthegroundstidy,andMr.Simpkinsdoeshisbesttoseethattheworkisdone.Butinspiteofhisexertionstheplaceisinaconditionofdisorder.Thereislonggrasswherethereoughttobetrimlawns;wildgrowthsofbramblesinnooksoriginallydedicatedtorosegardening;andageneralairofexuberanceaboutthetreesandshrubs.MissKingfoundallthisverycharming.Shetookawalkroundthepleasuregroundsontheeveningofherarrival,andfeltthatshehadhappenedupontheIrishdemesneofherdreams--aregionofspaciousdilapidation,exquisitenaturalbeauty,romanticpossibilities,andaninexhaustiblesupplyoflocalcolour;aplaceverydifferentindeedfromthetrimThames-sidevillasinwhichshegenerallyspenther

summerholidays.HermaidunpackedalargeboxofrequisitesforthecountrylifesuppliedbytheStores,andcame,atthebottomofit,uponaverygayhammockmadeofgreenandscarletstrings.MissKingwasdelightedwithitsappearance,andthepromiseitgaveofluxuriousrest.Afterbreakfastnextmorningshesummonedthetwogardenerstoherpresence,andgaveordersthatthehammockshouldbesecurelyhunginashadyplace.Themenwereunaccustomedtohammocks,butwiththehelpofsomeadvicefromthemaid,theytiedittotwotreesinacornerofwhathadoncebeenatenniscourt.TheyweresopleasedwithitthattheystoodlookingatitwithgreatappreciationuntilMiss



Kingcameoutatabouttwelveo'clock.Shebroughtwithherabundleofmanuscriptandafountainpen,intendingtoworkintohernewnoveladescriptionofBallymoyHouseandthedemesne.

Themenwatchedhersettleherself,andthencameforwardcautiouslyandaskediftherewasanythingtheycoulddoforher.MissKingsuggestedthattheyshouldgoawayanddotheirwork.Theywentobediently,butreturnedinafewminuteswithtwoscythes.

"Ifit'spleasingtoyourladyship,"saidtheelderofthetwo,"Iwasthinkingofcuttingthegrassbeyond,whiletheweather'sfine,andwe'dhaveachanceofgettingthehaysavedwithoutrain."

MissKingwasnotverywellpleased.Shewouldhavepreferredtobeleftalone,inorderthatshemightenjoythoroughlythepicturesquedilapidationshewishedtodescribe.Butshedidnotseeherwaytoforbidthecuttingofthegrass.Thetwomensharpenedtheirscythesnoisilyandmoweddownseveralswathesoflonggrass.MissKingwatchedthem,mildlyinterested.Attheendoffiveminutestheystoppedmowingandwhettedtheirscythesagain.Thentheysatdown,littheirpipes,andlookedatMissKing.Shebusiedherselfwithherpapers,andmadesomecorrectionswiththefountainpen.Whentheirpipeswereabouthalfsmoked,themenrose,whettedtheirscythesforthethirdtime,andmowedagain.MissKingstoppedwritingandwatched

them.Thedaygrewhotter,andthespellsofmowingbecameshorter.MissKinggaveuptheattempttowrite,andlaydreamilygazingatthemen,rousedtoactiveconsciousnessnowandthenbytheraspofthehonesagainstthescytheblades.Atoneo'clockthemen,guessingittobedinnertime,stoppedpretendingtoworkandwentaway.AfewminuteslaterMissKing,feelingtheneedofluncheon,disentangledherselffromthehammock,bundledherpaperstogether,andwentintothehouse.

Attwoo'clockthemen,carryingtheirscythes,returnedtothetenniscourt,whichwasnearlyhalfmowed.Athalf-pasttwoMissKingjoinedthem,andclimbedasgracefullyasshecouldintothehammock.Shebroughtabookwithherthistimeinsteadofhermanuscript.The

afternoonwashotterthanthemorninghadbeen,andtherewasaverysoothingsoundofbeesamongthebranchesofthetrees.MissKing,whohadeatenherluncheonwithagoodappetite,wenttosleep.Thetwogardeners,afterashortconsultation,satdownunderatreeandsmoked.Athalf-pastthreeMeldonarrived.

"Youseem,"hesaidtothemen,"tobetakingthingsprettyeasy.Areyousupposedtobemowingthatlawn,orisMr.SimpkinspayingyoutocutthelegsoffanytigerorotherwildbeastthatcomesupwiththeideaofdevouringMissKinginhersleep?"

Themengrinnedpleasantly,andputtheirpipesintheirpockets.

"It'showwedidn'tliketobedisturbingtheyounglady,"saidtheelderofthetwomen,"andherlyingtherequietandinnocent,maybetiredout,thecreature,withthewayshe'sbeentravellingtoandfro."

"Isn'titCallaghanyournameis?"saidMeldon.

"Itis.GlorybetoGod!butit'swonderfulthewayyou'dknowme,Mr.Meldon,andyououtoftheplacethesethreeyears."

"Sendthatothermanaway,"saidMeldon,"andlistentomewhileI



speaktoyou."

"Mickey,"saidCallaghantohisfellow-labourer,"letyoubeoffwithyouandgetthepotatoesearthedupbeyondinthegarden.It'swonderful,soitis,thewayyou'dtakeadelightinsittingtherealldayandnotdoingahand'sturn."

Mickeywentoff,stillgrinning.Hehadnointentionofearthingupthepotatoes.Diggingishardwork,nottobelightlyundertakenonahotafternoon.Meldonwatchedhimoutofsight,andthenturnedtoCallaghan.

"I'mspeakingconfidentiallytoyou,"hesaid,"andIhopethatnothingIsaywill--"

"Takecare,"saidCallaghan,"thatyouwouldn'twakeherself,talkingsoloudandall."

MeldonlookedatMissKing.

"Sheseemsprettysound,"hesaid,speakingmoresoftly.

"It'stiredsheis,thecreature,",saidCallaghan."Itwouldbeashametowakeher,thoughIwouldn'tcaremyselfforthenotionof

sleepinginoneofthemnew-fashionedbeds."

"WhatIwanttosaytoyouisthis,"saidMeldon."YouknowMr.Simpkins,ofcourse?"

"Ido."

"Isheaparticularfriendofyours?"

"Heisnot,"saidCallaghan."TheLordforgivemeforsayingthelike!butIhatehimworsethanIdothedevil."

"Ithoughtyouprobablywould,"saidMeldon,"andIdon'twonderatit.

AnymanwhoworksthesortofwayyouwereworkingwhenIarrivedwouldbeprettysuretohateSimpkins."

"Sinceeverhecometotheplace,"saidCallaghan,"there'sbeenneitherpeacenorquietinit.Theredoesn'tadaypassbuthe'suphereaskingwhythisisn'tdone,andwhat'sthematterwiththeotherthing,andwhetherIcouldn'tmanagetosettleupsomecontraptionorother.Many'sthetimeI'vesaidtomyselfitwouldbebetterformetostarveoutonthebogbeyondthantohavethelifeplaguedoutofmelisteningtothewayhedoesbetalking."

"Iexpect,"saidMeldon,"thathe'ssimplytryingtomakeyoudoyourwork,andahardjobhehasofit."

"Anyway,it'swhatI'mnotaccustomedto;andwhat'smore,won'tstand."

"You'llhavetostanditforawhilemore,anyway.That'swhatIwanttoimpressonyourmind.Ican'thaveawordsaidagainstMr.Simpkins,inthepresenceofMissKing."

"Theyoungladythere?"



"Yes,thatexactyounglady.She'sastrangerintheseparts,andyou'remoreorlessresponsiblefortheopinionssheformsofthepeopleshecomesacross.It'stoyoushe'llbelookingforguidancewhenshe'sinadifficultyandwantsinformationaboutanyone."

"Shewill,ofcourse.Whywouldn'tshe?Amn'tIoldenoughtobeherfatherandthefatherofadozenmorelikeher?"

"Exactly,"saidMeldon."SowhensheconsultsyouaboutMr.Simpkinsyou'llsayallthegoodyoucanofhim,andyou'llpraisehimuptotheservantsinthehouseinsuchawaythatthey'llrepeatwhatyou'vesaidtoher."

"Wouldyouhavemetellwhatisn'ttrue?"

"Iwould."

"Well,then,I'llnotdoit.I'vemorerespectformyself,letalonetheyounglady,thantodothelike."

"Don'ttakethattonewithme,"saidMeldon,"forI'llnotstandit.Thereisn'tamaninIrelandthisminutethathasagreaterrespectforthetruththanIhave.It'sagoodthing--oneofthebestthingsthereis--initsproperplace.Butthere'snobiggermistakethantosuppose

thatbecauseathingisgoodinoneplaceatonetime,itmustnecessarilybegoodeverywhereandalways.Takethecaseofbottledporter.You'renotateetotaller,areyou?"

"Iwasonetime,"saidCallaghan,"afterthemissiontheredidbegoingroundthecountrylastspring.TheyhadmepledgedbeforeIrightlyunderstoodwhatitwastheyweredoing;but,thanksbetoGod,I'mthroughwithitnow,andcantakeadropofdrinkaswellasanother."

"Verywell.Thenyou'llappreciatewhatIsayaboutbottledporter.It'sagoodthingwhenyouhaveitinatumbler,andthetumblerinyourhand,andyouthirsty."

"Itis."Callaghanspokewithconviction.Hewasthirstyatthemoment,andhehadsomehopethatMeldonmightpossiblyhavethebottleofwhichhespokeinhispocket.HewasdisappointedwhenMeldonwentonwithhisspeech.

"Butit'snotagoodthingwhensomebodyjogsyourelbowandspillsthewholeofitoverthelegsofyourtrousers.Nowit'sexactlythesamewithtruth.It'sallrightundercertaincircumstances.It'soneoftheworstthingsgoingwhenit'stoldtothewrongmanatthewrongtime.Youfollowmesofar,Ihope.Verywell.NowIwanttomakeitplaintoyouthatthetruthaboutMr.SimpkinsmustnotbetoldtoMissKing.Iexpecthe'llbeuptocallonhertomorrowornextday,andit'smostimportantthatsheshouldnotbeprejudicedagainsthim."

"Haveyouamatchmadeupbetweenthem?"askedCallaghan.

"Ihave."

"Andwhycouldn'tyouhavesaidsobefore?Ifthat'sthewayofit,itisn'tlikelyI'dbesayingawordthatwouldturnheragainstthemanthat'slaiddownforhertomarry.Therewasafriendofmyownonetimethathadamatchmadeupforhissonwithagirlthathadagoodfortune.Buttherewasonlyonelegonher,andhewasterriblefeared



thattheboy'dnevertakeherifhefounditout.Therewasn'toneintheplace,onlymyself,thatknewthewaythegirlwasonaccountofherfatherlivingawaybeyondthebog.DoyouthinkIsaidtheword?Ididnot.Andtheboywaswellenoughpleasedatthelatterend."

"Inthisparticularcase,"saidMeldon,"you'llhavetodorathermorethankeepyourmouthshut.Simpkins'legsareallright,ofcourse,but--"

"Hehasthedivilofalongtongue."

"Well,don'tdwellonhistonguewhenyou'retalkingabouthimtoMissKing."

"Beyondsayinganoddtimethathe'sapleasant-spokengentleman,Iwillnot."

"That'sright,"saidMeldon."Ishallrelyabsolutelyonyou.Andyouaretoletmeknowfromtimetotimehowtheygetontogetherwhenhecomesupheretovisither."

"Ifthere'sanyimproprietyofconductbetweenthem,"saidCallaghan,"I'llspeaktoyourreverence."

"Don'tmisunderstandme,"saidMeldon."Idon'twanttointerferewiththeirlove-making.Themoreofthattheydo,thebetterI'llbepleased.Eveniftheyrunratherintoextremes--"

"It'swhatIwon'tbeapartyto,"saidCallaghan;"Idon'tholdwiththemways,andtheclergyisagainstthem,allbutyourself;andyououghttobeashamedtobeencouragingthelike."

"Youdon'tintheleastunderstandthesituation,"saidMeldon."Mr.SimpkinsandMissKingarebothEnglish,andinEnglandtheymanagethesethingsquitedifferentlyfromthewaywedohere."

"Well,it'syourselfoughttoknowaboutthat,seeingthatyou'rea

Protestant."

"It'snotsomuchaquestionofreligion,"saidMeldon."It'stemperament.Idon'tsupposeyouunderstandwhatthatmeans;butthefactis,thatanEnglishwomanwouldn'tmarryamanwhohadn'tbeenmakinglovetoheroffandonforatleastaweek.Ifhehadn'tgotherthoroughlyaccustomedtohisoccasionallysqueezingherhand,andofferingtopickflowersforher,andpickingupanythingshedroppedabout,and--ButIneedn'tgointodetails.Thefactis,thatifhehadn'tmadelovetoherprettyviolently,shewouldn'tconsideritdecenttomarryhim.That'sthesortofpeopletheEnglishare."

"They'requeer,"saidCallaghan,"andthat'safact."

"Theyare,"saidMeldon."Butwe'vesimplygottotakethemaswefindthem.There'snouseourtryingtoteachthembetterways,fortheywouldn'tlistentous.I'mtellingyouallthissothatyouwon'tbeshockedifyouhappentoseeSimpkinskissingMissKing.It'snoaffairofyours,tostartwith;and,inthesecondplace,there'snopointincomparativeethnologysofirmlyestablishedasthefactthatmoralityisquiteadifferentthingamongdifferentpeoples.Whatwouldbewrongforyouandmemaybe,andis,perfectlyrightforMissKingandSimpkins.Ineedn'tgointothatmorefully.Allyouhaveto



doistocrackupSimpkinsasafirst-ratesortofmanthatanygirlwouldbeluckyifshemarried;andthenletmeknowhowtheyhititofftogetherwhentheymeet."

"I'lldoit.I'ddomorethanthattoobligeyourreverenceinthematterofmakingamatchforanyboyabouttheplace;forI'mnotonetospoilhischancesonaboy,notifIhatedhimworsethanIdoSimpkins."

"Verywell.NowIwanttospeakafewwordstoMissKing,butitwon'tdoformetowakeherup.Shewouldn'tlikeit;andwhat'smore,shemightsuspectthatwe'dbeentalkingtogetherabouther.I'llgobacktothehouseandwalkoverhereacrossthelawn.I'llsignaltoyouassoonasI'mreadytostart,andthenyougooverandwakeMissKing."

"Iwouldn'tliketodoit.I'dbeashamed,forfearshemightthinkIwastakingaliberty."

"Idon'twantyoutogoandshakeher,"saidMeldon,"orpourcoldwateroverher,oranythingofthatsort.Justtakeyourscytheoverclosetowheresheis,andassoonaseverIgivethesignal,youbegintoscrapethebladeofitwithyourstoneandwhistleatuneatthesametimeasloudasyoucan."

"'TheWearingoftheGreen,'orthelike?"

"Not'TheWearingoftheGreen.'It'samelancholy,soothingsortoftunewhichwouldprobablyonlymakehersleepsounder.Whistleagoodlivelyjig."

"Iwill,"saidCallaghan.

Meldonwalkedaway.Whenhereachedthehousehestoodonthetopstepoftheflightwhichleadstothehalldoorandwavedhispockethandkerchief.Callaghanpickeduphisscythecautiously,andwentontip-toeacrosstoMissKing'shammock.Hedidnotwishtodisturbherprematurely.Then,hishoneinonehandandhisscytheintheother,

hestoodandwatchedMeldon,Thehandkerchiefwavedagain,andMeldonstartedwalkingbrisklyacrossthelawn.Thehoneraspedharshlyagainstthescytheblade,and"TheIrishWasherwoman"rangoutshrilly.MissKingwokewithastart.Callaghanturnedawayfromher,andstillwhistlingvigorously,begantomow.Meldonhurriedforward.

"Howdoyoudo,MissKing?"hesaid."IhappenedtobepassingthegateandIjustcalledintoseehowyouaregettingon,andtoseewhetherthereisanythingIcandoforyou."

MissKingblinked,gotherfeetoutofthehammock,satup,andshookhandswithMeldon.

"It'sverykindofyou.Won'tyoucomeinsideandhavesometea,orshallIgetthemtobringitouthere?"

"No,thanks.Noteaforme.Ihaven'ttimetostay;andbesides,I'vehadluncheonwithMr.Doyle.Youknowwhatthatmeans."

"No,"saidMissKing."Idon't."

"Well,Ineedn'tgointodetails,"saidMeldon;"butasamatteroffactwhenyou'velunchedwithMr.Doyleyoudon'twantanythingmoreto



drinkforalongtime.Bytheway,you'renotlookingoutforacookjustatpresent,areyou?"

"No,I'mnot.WhatmadeyouthinkIwas?"

"Peoplegenerallyare,"saidMeldon."Infact,I'vehardlyevermetanyonewhowasn't.Ihappenjustnowtoknowofareallyexcellentgirl,calledSabina.Withalittletrainingshe'dmakeafirst-ratecook.She'sfirstcousintothered-hairedgirlwho'swithMr.Simpkins.That'sarecommendationinitself."

"Isit?WhoisMr.Simpkins?Oh,ofcourse,he'sthemanfromwhomItookthehouse."

"Acapitalfellow,"saidMeldon;"young,strong,andvigorous.Thesortofman,"hesankhisvoiceimpressively,"thatitwouldtakealottokill."

MissKingseemedmoderatelyinterested.

"Butwhydoyouthink,"shesaid,"thathisservant'sfirstcousin--"

"Sabinaishername,"saidMeldon."It'saveryattractivename,isn'tit?"

"Yes.ButwhydoyouthinkitlikelythatMr.Simpkins'servant'sfirstcousincancook?"

"He'samostparticularman,"saidMeldon;"fidgetytoadegreeabouthavingeverythingquiteright,alwaysworryingthelifeoutofhisservants,whichisexcellentforthem,ofcourse;but,well,ifhewasmarried"--hesankhisvoiceagain--"Iexpecthiswifewouldconsiderherselfquitejustifiedinkillinghim.Idaresayhe'llbeuptocallonyouthisafternoon."

"Ifhe'sasbadasthat,"saidMissKing,"Ihadbettergoinandtidymyhairbeforehecomes."

"Perhapsyouhad,"saidMeldon.

"You'reveryrude,"saidMissKing.

Shesmiledasshespoke,blushedslightly,andthenlookingatMeldonfromunderhereyelashes,said,--

"Comenow,tellmethetruth.AmIanabsolutefright?"

Mostmenwouldhaveattemptedaprettyspeechofsomesort.ManymenwouldhaverespondedtoMissKing'seyeswithaglanceofadmiration.Shehadveryfineeyes,andasingularlyattractivewayoflookingout

ofthecornersofthem.MissKingwas,infact,alittletiredofherowncompany,andwouldhavelikedtohearMeldonsaysomethingpleasantaboutherappearance.Shewouldhaveenjoyedherselfverywellifhehadattemptedsomeslightflirtationwithher.Buthesnubbedherseverely.

"Itoldyouyesterday,"hesaid,"thatI'mamarriedman.Ihaveadaughtertwoyearsold,andI'maclergyman.Ireallycan'tallowyou--"



ThesoftlookvanishedinaninstantfromMissKing'seyes.Theyflashedfiercely.Herfacebecamesuddenlycrimson.

"Youareoutrageous,"shesaid."Howdareyousuggest--?Howdareyoueventhink--?"

Shesprangtoherfeetandstartedatarapidpacetowardsthehouse.Herheadwaspoiseddefiantly.Meldon,thoughhecouldonlyseeherback,feltcertainthatherchinwasintheair.Callaghan,whohadretiredwithhisscythetothemiddleofthelawn,stoppedmowingandstaredafterMissKing.ThenhelaiddownhisscytheandapproachedMeldon.

"Wereyoutellingher,"heasked,"ofthematchyouhadlaidoutforher?"

"No,"saidMeldon,withabroadsmile,"Iwasn't."

"Fromthelookofher,"saidCallaghan,"Ithoughtmaybeyoumight."

"Well,Iwasn't.AllIwastryingtomakeplaintoherwasthatshecouldn'tmarryme."

"I'dsay,"saidCallaghan,"thatsheseenthatplainenough,howeverit

wasthatyouputittoher."

"Ithoughtitbettertomakeitquiteclearatonce,"saidMeldon."Shewaslookingatmeinakindofwayyou'dhardlyunderstand."

"Imight,then,"saidCallaghan,stillgrinning.

"Youwouldnot,"saidMeldon."Youtoldmeamomentagothatthepriestswouldn'tletyou!"

"There'smanyathing,"saidCallaghan,"thattheclergymightnotapproveof,but--"

"Anyhow,"saidMeldon,"itwasthatkindofwayshelookedatme,andIthoughtitbettertoputastoptoitatonce."

"You'rerightthere;andit'snomorethanwhatI'dexpectofyou."

"Idon'tthinkyouquitegraspmypointyet,"saidMeldon."InageneralwayIshouldn'tmindherlookingatmeanywaysheliked.Imighthaveenjoyedit,ifshe'ddoneitwell,asIexpectshecould.ButundertheexistingcircumstancesIhadtostopher;because,ifshetooktolookingatmelikethat,she'dlookquiteanotherwayatMr.Simpkins,andthenhewouldn'tbeinclinedtomarryher."

"You'redeadsetonthatmatch,"saidCallaghan.

"Iam.It'smostimportantthatitshouldcomeoff."

"She'safinegirl,"saidCallaghan."She'stoogoodforthelikeofSimpkins.He'llbetormentingherthewayhedoesbetormentingeverybodyabouttheplace."

"Believeyoume,"saidMeldon,"she'llknowhowtomanagehim."

"Shemight,"saidCallaghan."Bythelooksofher,whensheleftyou



thisminute,Iwouldn'tsaybutshemight."

CHAPTERVIII.

Itwaseighto'clock,andtheeveningwasdeliciouslywarm.MajorKentandMeldonsatinhammockchairsonthegraveloutsidePortsmouthLodge.Theyhaddinedcomfortably,andtheirpipeswerelit.Foratimeneitherofthemspoke.Belowthem,beyondthewallwhichboundedthelawn,laythewatersofthebay,wheretheSpindrift,MajorKent'syacht,hungmotionlessoverhermooring-buoy.Theeyesofbothmenwerefixedonher.

"Ifeel,"saidMeldonatlast,"likethevillageblacksmith."

"TherearefourinBallymoy,"saidtheMajor."Reillyisthemanwhoworksforme.Ifyoufeellikehim,I'msorryforyou.He'sgenerallydrunkatthishour."

"Irefer,"saidMeldon,"toLongfellow'svillageblacksmith.You'renotahighly-educatedman,Iknow,butIthoughtyou'dhaveheardofhim.

"'ThemusclesofhisbrawnyarmsWerestrongasironbands.'

It'sapoemwhichmostpeoplelearnwhileatschool.Iamsometimestemptedtothinkthatyouneverwereatschool."

"Idon'tsee,J.J.,thatyourmusclesareanythingparticulartoswaggerabout."

"Iwasn'treferringtomymuscles,"saidMeldon."TheresemblanceIspeakofliesinthefactthatI've'earnedmynight'srepose.'Thevillageblacksmithfeltthathedeservedhisafterlisteningtohis

daughtersinginginthelocalchurchchoir.I'veundergoneanevenseverernervestrain.I'vepracticallyarrangedthemarriagebetweenSimpkinsandthemurderess."

"IwishverymuchthatIknewexactlywhatyou'vebeendoingallday,J.J.Ialwaysfeelnervouswhenyougooutalone.Ineverknow--"

"I'llgiveyouanexactaccountofmyproceedings,ifyoulike.First,IhadapersonalinterviewwithSimpkins;andImayaswellsayatoncethatIwasonthewholefavourablyimpressedbyhim.Idon'tmeantosaythatheoughtnottobekilled,butmerelythatiflefttomyselfIwouldnotgooutofmywaytokillhim.InexttalkedthematteroverwithDoyleandDr.O'Donoghue.Ifoundthattheyquiteagreedwith

you;andthedoctorispreparedtosignthedeathcertificateassoonasMissKing--whowillthen,ofcourse,beMrs.Simpkins--hasfinishedhimoff.IthencalledatBallymoyHouseandarrangedwithCallaghan,thegardener,tokeepmeinformedoftheprogressofevents.Finally,IinterviewedMissKingherself.Iwasunfortunatelyobligedtooffendheralittle,andIexpectshewon'tcareabouttalkingtomeforthenextfewdays."

"Didyoualludetothetrial?"



"No.Andshewouldn'thavemindedintheleastifIhad.She'squitefrankwithmeintalkingaboutherart.Thefactis,shewantedtoflirtwithme,andofcourseIcouldn'thavethat."

"Areyousureofthat,J.J.?Itseemstomeveryunlikelythataladyofthatsortwouldwanttoflirtwithaclergyman."

"I'mnotexactlyanordinaryclergyman,"saidMeldon,"andshecertainlydidwanttoflirtwithme.Icouldseeitbytheexpressionofhereye.Anymanwhoknowsanythingaboutwomengetsintothewayofjudgingthemverylargelybytheexpressionoftheireyes.Youfindafteralittlepracticethatyouareabletotellwithalmostabsolutecertaintywhattheirintentionsare;andtherewasnomistakeaboutMissKing'sthisafternoon."

"I'mglad,"saidtheMajor,"thatyouwentawayatonce."

"Ididn't,"saidMeldon."Itwasshewhowentaway.IhurtherfeelingsbytellingherplainlythatIwasamarriedman.Sheflewintoatemperandprancedoff."

"Shemustbeavery--"

"No,she'snot--notintheleast.ItwassimplyacaseofwhatVirgil

calls'spretaeinjuriaformae.'"

"TalkEnglish,"saidMajorKent."YouknowIdon'tunderstandLatin."

"Nevermind,"saidMeldon;"youwouldn'tunderstanditabitbetterifIputitintoEnglish.Youhaven'tthenecessaryexperience.Andinanycaseitdoesn'tintheleastmatter.Theimportantthingforyoutogetaholdofisthatthemarriageisarranged,andunlesssomethingquiteunforeseenturnsupitwillcomeoff.ItoldSimpkinsthatshehadalargefortuneandwasthenieceofanearl.Thosefacts,inadditiontoherpersonalcharm,will,Iimagine,bringhimrapidlyuptothescratch.Icandonomoreforthepresent.That'swhyIsaidIwasliketheblacksmithandhadearnedmynight'srepose."

"It'searlyyet,"saidtheMajor."Iseldomturninbeforeeleven.But,ofcourse,youcangooffatonceifyoulike."

"WhenIquotedthatlineaboutthenight'srepose,"saidMeldon,"Iwasspeakingfiguratively.Ihaven'ttheleastintentionofgoingtobedatthishour.Idon'tsupposetheoriginalblacksmithdideither,evenifhewasfeelingabitupsetaboutthechoir.WhatIreallymeantwasthatIamquiteentitlednowtohaveacoupleofdaysoffintheSpindrift."

"I'mgladtohearyousaythat,"saidtheMajor."Iwasafraidyouweregoingtospendyourwholeholidayrunningbackwardsandforwards

betweenthisandBallymoy."

"Ican'ttakearegularcruise,"saidMeldon."Iabsolutelymustbebackherethedayafterto-morrow.Nomatterhowcarefullyyouarrangethings,there'salwaysariskofsomethinggoingwrong.Quiteatriflingaccidentmightupsettheentireplan,andIoughttobeonthespottostraightenthingsoutdirectlytheybegintogetintoatangle."

MajorKentmadenoanswer.Hesatsmokinguntilhispipewentout.Thenforawhilehesatwiththeemptypipeinhismouth,suckingatit



asifitwerestillalight.Hewasthinkingdeeply.Theeveningdarkenedslowly,andafaintbreezestoleinfromthesea.

"Everyprospectofafinedayto-morrow,"saidMeldon.

TheMajortooknonoticeoftheremark.Meldonfilledafreshpipe,andwatchedtheSpindrifttuggingathermooringsasthebreezefreshenedordiedandthetidecaughther.

"J.J.,"saidtheMajoratlast,speakingverysolemnly,"I'dratheryoudidn't."

"Didn'twhat?"

"Iknowyouenjoythissortofthing,andIdon'twanttospoilyourholiday.I'dlikeyoutohaveareallygoodtime,butIwishyou'dhitonsomeotheramusement."

"Tryandbealittlemoreexplicit,Major.I'maquick-wittedman,andIcangenerallyguessatyourmeaning,nomatterhowyouwrapitupinparaphrases,butthistimeIreallycan't.TheonlyamusementI'veproposedsofarisashorttripinyouryacht.Isupposeyoudon'tgrudgemethat?"

"YouknowverywellIdon't,J.J.ButIwishyouwouldn'tplaythesetrickswithSimpkins.He'samanIdon'tlike."

"Youtoldmethatlastnight,"saidMeldon,"andIagreedatoncetohavehimmurdered."

"OfcourseIknowthatyouliketalkinginthatsortofway,andIdon'tminditabit.It'syourwayofmakingjokes,andyoudon'tmeananyharmbywhatyousay;butI'dreallyrathernotbemixedupwithSimpkinsevenbywayofajoke.Idon'tlikethemanatall."

"Don'trepeatthatagain,"saidMeldon."Iquitebelieveyou.AndasforthemurderofSimpkinsbeingajoke,Iassureyouit'snothingof

thesort.Imaybeflippant--severalpeoplehavecalledmeflippant--butIdrawthelineatmakingjokesaboutmurder.It'saserioussubject.InfactI'vemorethanoncehesitatedaboutgoingintothisbusinessatall.It'smainlyforyoursakethatI'mdoingit."

"Thendon'tdoit,"saidtheMajor."Iknowquitewellthatyoudon'tmeanawordyousay,but--"

"Imeanitall.AmIthekindofmanwhosayswhathedoesn'tmean?Comenow,Major;you'veknownmeagoodmanyyears,andwe'vebeeninsometightplacestogether.HaveyoueverheardmesayathingIdidn'tmean?"

"Tobequitecandid,"saidtheMajor,"Ihave,onceortwice."

"You'reentirelymistaken.Youhavenot.AndinanycaseImeanwhatIsaynow.DoyoureallysupposethatI'dhavespentthewholeofthishotdayfaggingupanddowntheroadsaboutBallymoyifIwasn'tinearnestaboutwhatIwasat?"

"Butyoudon't.Youcan'tthinkthatthislady--MissKingorwhateverhernameis--willreallymurderSimpkins?"



"She'lltrytoifshemarrieshim.Ican'tbeabsolutelycertainthatshe'llsucceed,butIthinkit'sverylikelythatshewill.She'shadalotofpractice,andbyherownaccountshe'sbeenunusuallysuccessful."

"That'sallrot,ofcourse,"saidtheMajor."Murderisn'tcommittedinthatsortofway.Nowomanwoulddeliberatelywithhereyesopen--"

"DidMrs.Lorimermurderherhusbandbyaccident,ordidsheintendtodoitandplanthewholethingoutbeforehand?"

"Idon'tknow."

"Youdoknow.Youreadtheevidenceandyoureadthejudge'scharge,andyouknowaswellasIdothatsheproceededinthemostdeliberatewaypossible."

"Itlookedlikeit,"saidtheMajor."Imustsayitlookedlikeit."

"Verywell.IsMissKingMrs.Lorimer,orisshenot?"

"Idon'tknow."

"Iprovedtoyouyesterdayeveningthatsheis.Iproveditinawaythatleftnopossibleroomfordoubtinyourmind,ifyouarehonestwithyourselfandlookfactsplainlyintheface.Iamnotgoingintotheproofagain,becauseit'saveryexhaustingthingandI'vehadahardday.Besides,ifitdidn'tconvinceyouthefirsttime,itwouldn'tthesecond.Trainsofreasoningaren'tlikeadvertisements.Youcometobelievethatacertainkindofpillwillpreventyourgoingbaldbecauseyou'veseenstatementstothateffecttenthousandtimes.It'sthecumulativeweightofrepeatedassertionwhichcompelsbeliefinthatcase.Butthekindofbeliefwhichdependsonreasoningisquitedifferent.Ifyou'vethesortofintellectwhichcannotgrasptheproofwhichEuclidgivesofoneofhispropositions,nonumberofrepetitionsofitwillhelpyouintheleast.That'sacurious

psychologicallaw,butitisalaw.ThereforeitwouldbethemerestwasteoftimeformetodemonstratetoyouagainthatMrs.LorimerandMissKingarethesameperson.Ipassontothenextstageinourenquiry.WillMissKingmurderhernexthusband?"

"Ifshe'sMrs.Lorimer,"saidtheMajor,"andifMrs.Lorimermurdered--"

"Thereareno'ifs'aboutthematter,"saidMeldon;"sheunquestionablywill.Shetoldmesoherself,andwhateverelsesheisshe'sawomanofherword.Thereremainsnowonlyonequestion,Whoishernexthusbandtobe?Andtheanswertothatmaybegivenintwosyllables--Simpkins."

"Ifyoureallybelieveallthat,"saidtheMajor,"and--"

"Ido,"saidMeldon.

"Thenyou'regoingtocommitahorriblecrime,andIinsistonyourstoppingatonce."

"Ican'tstopitnow.I'vesetthethinggoing,anditcan'tbestopped.Youmighthavestoppedityesterday,butyou'retoolatenow.



I'msorryforpoorSimpkinsmyself.Ithoughthimadecentenoughsortofman."

"He'sacad."

"Thereyouareagain.Inonebreathyoutrytostopme,andintheverynextbreathyouurgemestronglytogoon.Whichdoyoumean?Notthatitmatters,forthethingisasgoodasdonenow.Stillyououghttotryandcultivatethehabitofdefinitelymakingupyourmind,andthenstickingtoit.Yousaidyesterdaydistinctly,andsofarIcouldjudgesincerely,thatyouwishedSimpkinswasdead.Nowyoupretendthatit'sashocktoyoutohearthathe'sgoingtobekilled.That'swhatIcallvacillation,andyououghttobeashamedofit."

MajorKentsighedheavily.

"There'snousemytalking,"hesaid,"butyou'llgetyourselfintotroublesomedaywiththesejokesofyours."

"Major,"saidMeldon,"I'veabsolutelynopatiencewithyou.You'rebackagainatthatjoketheoryofyours,afterI'vespenthalftheeveningexplainingtoyouthatthisisn'tajokingmatteratall.Imustdeclinetodiscussthematteranyfurther.We'lltalkofsomethingelse.IwasspeakingtoO'Donoghueto-dayabouttheproper

wayoffeedingthechildwhenithaswhoping-cough.Hesaysitoughttobegivenasmuchasitwantstoeatofanyordinarykindoffood.I'minclinedtoagreewithhim.Nowwhatisyouropinion?"

"Isupposeyou'rethinkingofyourownchild?"

"Yes,Iam.Anddon'tforgetthatshe'snotmerelymychild.She'salsoyourgod-child."

"Well,Igaveherasilvermug.Didn'tI?"

"Youdid.Acapitalmug,largeandheavy.She'llbeverygratefultoyouforthatmugsomeday;though,uptothepresent,allshehasdone

toitistodintitssideonedaybydroppingitagainstthecornerofthefenderwhenitwasgivenhertoplaywith.Youdidyourdutyinthematterofamug,andI'mnotsuggestingforamomentthatyoushouldgiveheranother.WhenIremindedyouthatyouarehergod-father,Imerelywantedtosuggestthatyououghttotakesomelittleinterestinherhealthandeducation."

"ButIdon'tknowwhatbabiesoughttoeat."

"Whatyoureallymeanisthatyoudon'tcare.You'resowrappedupinthismiserablelocalsquabblewithSimpkinsaboutasalmonthatyou'velostallinterestinthewidersubjectswhichareoccupyingtheattentionoftheworld."

"Comenow,J.J.Yourbaby--she'saverynicebabyandallthat.Butreally--"

"Iwon'ttalkaboutheranymoreifsheboresyou.Ithought,andhoped,thatshemightinterestyou.That'sthereasonIstartedherasatopicofconversation.Asshedoesn't,I'lldropheragain,atonce.ButwhatamItodo?Ibeganthiseveningwithaliteraryallusion,andfoundthatyou'dneverheardofLongfellow's'VillageBlacksmith.'Thatwasn'taveryencouragingstart,you'lladmit.LastnightItried



youwithart,andallyoudidwastomixitupwithmorality,which,aseverybodyknows,isaperfectlyhopelessthingtodo.TheancientHebrewshadmoresense.Theywerespecialistsinmorality,andtheyabsolutelyforbadeart.WhereastheGreeks,whowereartists,wentinforathoroughlyimmoralkindoflife.Findingthatyouweretotallyindifferenttothemetaphysicsoftheaesthetic,Iofferedyouaninterestingchainofabstractreasoning.Whatwastheresult?Youwereabsolutelyunabletofollowme.Ithenthrewoutsomehintswhichmighthaveledtoaninterestingpsychologicaldiscussion,butyoudidn'tknowwhatImeant.ThiseveningItouchedononeofthegreatprincipleswhichmustguideusintheconsiderationofthewholefeministquestion--"

"ThatwaswhenyoutalkedaboutjudgingMissKing'sintentionsbythelookofhereyes,"saidtheMajor.

"Yes;itwas.AndsofarasIcanrecollect,allyoudidwastogrininafutileandsomewhatvulgarway.Finally,Itriedtotalktoyouaboutchildculture,whichisoneofthemostimportantproblemsofourday;aproblemwhichisoccupyingtheattentionofstatesmen,philanthropists,philosophers,doctors,andteachersofeverykind,fromkindergartenmistressestouniversityprofessors.Ibeganinquiteasimplewaywithaquestionaboutthefoodofaninfant.Wemight,ifyouhadtakenthesubjectupatallwarmly,havegotonto

theendowmentofmotherhood,naturestudy,medicalexaminationofschools,theboarding-outofworkhousechildren,religiouseducation,boyscouts,eugenics,andalotofotherperfectlyfascinatingtopics.Butwhatdoyoudo?Yousayfranklyandshamelesslythatyouknownothingatallaboutthematter."

"ButIreallydonotknowhowtofeedbabies.WhatwastheuseofpretendingthatIdo?"

"Isthere--togetbacktothepointfromwhichIstarted--isthereanysubjectthatyoudoknowanythingaboutbesidespoliticsandpoloponies?"

"I'mafraidnot,J.J.,excepttheyacht.Idoknowsomethingabouther."

"Then,"saidMeldon,"we'lldiscussher.Iexpectwe'llcometoanendofhersoon,butwecanatalleventsdecidewherewe'llgoto-morrow."

TheyachtturnedouttobeamorefruitfulsubjectthanMeldonexpected.TheMajorhadmadesomealterationsinhertrim,whichledtoananimateddiscussion.Healsohadaplanforchangingherfromacutterintoayawl,andMeldonwasquitereadytoargueoutthepointsofadvantageanddisadvantageineachrig.Itwashalf-pasteleveno'clockbeforetheypartedforthenight,andeventhentheyhadnotdecidedwheretogonextday.

CHAPTERIX.

ItwastheeveningoftheseconddayoftheSpindrift'scruise.Thewind,whichhadcomefreshfromtheeastinthemorning,followedthesunroundinitscourse,blowinggentlyfromthesouthatmid-day,andbreathingveryfaintlyfromthewestintheevening.Aftersunsetit



diedawaycompletely.Thewholesurfaceofthebaylaycalm,savehereandtherewheresomechancemovementoftheairruffledatinypatchofwater;orwhere,atthecornersoftheislandsandinverynarrowchannels,theinwarddrawingofthetidemarkedlong,curvedlinesandillusivecirclesontheoilysea.TheSpindriftwaspoisedmotionlessonthesurfaceofthewater,borneslowly,almostimperceptibly,forwardbythesweepofthetide.Hermainsail,boomedout,hunginloosefolds.Thesheet,freedfromallstrain,wasbornedownbyitsownweight,untiltheslackofitdippedinthewater.Ternsandgulls,atlazyrest,floatedclosetotheyacht'sside.Longrowsofdarkcormorants,perchedonrockypoints,strainedtheirnecksandpeeredather.Innumerablejelly-fishspreadandsuckedtogetheragaintheirtransparentbodies,reachingdownandroundaboutthemwithpurplefeelers.Nowandthensomealmostimperceptiblebreathofwindswayedtheyacht'sboomslowlyforwardagainstthelooserunnerandthestay,liftedthedrippingsheetfromthewater,andhalfbelliedthesail.ThentheSpindriftwouldpressforward,hersparscreakingslightly,tinyripplesplayingroundherbows,adoublelineofoilybubblesinherwake.Againtheimpulsewouldfailher,andshewouldliestillamongthepalpitatingjellyfish,perfectlyreflectedinthewaterbeneathher;butcarriedsteadilyonbythesilentshorewardswellingofthetide.

MajorKentsatatthetillersmoking.Hewasinthatmoodofvacant

obliviousnessoftheordinaryaffairsoflifewhichlongdriftingoncalmseasinduces.Thehelplessnessofmaninasailing-ship,whenthewindfailshim,begetsakindoffatalisticacceptanceoftheinevitable,whichisthenearestthingtopeacethatanyofuseverattain.Indeedtodriftalongthetideispeace,andnoconvictionoftheinevitablenessoftheworrieswhichlurkinambushforusonthelandhasanypowertobreakthespell.

Meldonlaystretchedonthedeckoutsidethecombingofthecockpit.Nirvanahadnoattractionforhim.Heresentedforcedinactivityasanunendurablewrong.Insteadofsmokingwithhalf-closedeyes,hepeeredeagerlyforwardunderthesail.Henotedeverything--thefloatinggullsandpuffins,thestiff,wild-eyedcormorants,thejelly-fish,the

whirlingeddiesofthetide.Astheyachtdriftedon,orwasdrivenforwardbytheoccasionalfaintpuffsofair,hehissedthroughhisteethinthewayknowntosailorsaswhistlingforabreeze.HegazedlongandsteadilyatthebeachbeyondtheSpindrift'smoorings.

"Ithink,"hesaidatlast,"thatthereisamanontheshore,andhelookstomeverymuchasifhewaswaitingforus."

MajorKentmadenoanswer.Hisfeelingwasthatthemanwhowaitedmightbelefttowaitwithoutspeculationabouthispurpose.Guessingatthepossiblebusinessofanunknownanddistantmanisaformofmentalexertionverydistastefultoanyonewhohasenteredintothecalmjoyofdriftinghomeaftersunset.ButMeldonwasamanof

incurablyactivemind.Hewasdeeplyinterestedinthesolitaryfigureonthebeach.Theyachtwasborneveryslowlyon,anditbecamepossibleatlasttodistinguishthefigureofthewaitermoreclearly.

"Helookstome,"saidMeldonafewminuteslater,"verylikethatfellowCallaghan,theBallymoyHousegardener."

Therewasanotherpause.Apuffofwind,thelastvitalrallyoftheexpiringbreeze,carriedtheSpindriftforwardtillthepuntathermooringslayalmostunderherbow.



"ItisCallaghan,"saidMeldon,"andthere'sonlyonethingwhichcanpossiblybringhimhereatthishour.SomethingofrealimportancemusthavehappenedbetweenSimpkinsandMissKing.Iwonderwhatitis."

"Catchthepunt,J.J.,andhaulherafttillyougetaholdofthebuoy.Ifwedriftpastwe'llnevergetbackagain.There'sbarelysteeragewayontheboatthisminute."

Meldonsteppedforward.Therewasanoiseofstrainingropesandsplashing.Thenhestooduprightandpulledthebuoyonboard.

"Unlesssomethingexceptionallyinterestinghasoccurred,"saidMeldon,"Ican'tunderstandCallaghanwaitingforuslikethis.Perhapsthey'vegotengaged."

"Nonsense,"saidtheMajor;"howcouldtheyintwodays?Letgothepeakhalyards,andtakeapullonthetoppinglift."

Thesailcameslowlydown.MajorKentandMeldonleanedacrossthegaffanddraggedatthefoldsofit.Callaghanhailedtheyachtfromtheshore.

"Holdon,"saidMeldon."Keepwhatyou'vegottosaytillIcometoyou.Ican'thavethedetailsofaninterestingloveaffairshoutedacrossastretchofwater."

Thesailsweremadeupandtheyachtsafelymoored.MeldonhustledMajorKentintothepunt,andpulledrapidlyforthebeach.Thepunt'skeelgratedonthegravel.Meldonseizedthepainterinhishandandleapedashore.

"Now,"hesaidtoCallaghan,"trotoutyournews.Havetheygotengaged?"

"Theyhavenot,"saidCallaghan.

"ThenIsupposetheremusthavebeenwhatyoucallimproprietyofconduct.Ifso--"

"Therehasnot,"saidCallaghan.

"That'sjustaswell;foriftherehadbeen,IshouldhavehadtoaskyoutowaitbeforegivingmedetailsuntiltheMajorhadgoneagoodbitofthewayhome.He'sanunmarriedman,andIdon'tthinkitwouldbegoodforhimto--"

"TherewasnoimproprietyofconductthatIseen,"saidCallaghan.

"Well,itcan'tbehelped.Ishouldhavebeenglad,ofcourse,tohearthatSimpkinshadbeenpushinghiswayonabit,holdingherhandorsomethingofthatkind.Isuppose,now,ifanythingofthesortoccurredyou'dbesuretohaveseenit."

"Don'tItellyoutherewasn't,"saidCallaghan;"northerecouldn'thavebeen,forSimpkinswasn'tneartheplacesincetheafternoonyouwasinityourself."

"What!Doyoumeantosay--?"



"Hewasinittheonce,"saidCallaghan,"notlongafteryouleaving,andbarringthatshegavehimacupofteatherewasnothingpassedbetweenthem,andIwouldn'tsayhewastherehalfanhour."

"Doyouhearthat,Major?ThatsillyassSimpkinshasactuallyflungawayapricelessopportunity.Hehasn'tbeennearher."

"I'mgladtohearit,"saidMajorKent."Perhapsnowyou'llstopyourfoolishgames."

"Couldshehavegoneouttomeethimanywhere?"saidMeldontoCallaghan.

"Shecouldnot.Itwouldn'tbepossibleforhertodothelikeunbeknowntome,forIhadmyeyeonher."

"Allday?"

"AfterwhatyourreverencewassayingtomeI'dhavebeenafraidtoletheroutofmysight."

"Verywell,Callaghan,youcangohome.Ishallhavetothinkthematterover.Idon'tdenythatI'mdisappointed.IthoughtwhenIsaw

youstandingthereontheshorethatyou'dhavehadsomedefinitenewsforme."

"IwasupattheMajor'shousesearchingforyou,"saidCallaghan,"andwhenyouweren'twithinItookalookroundandIseentheyachtcominginonthetide,soIthoughtitwouldsavemeajourneyto-morrowifIwaitedforyou."

"Quiteright,"saidMeldon."It'snotyourfaultnothinghashappened,andIdon'tblameyouintheleast.Good-night."

Callaghanshambledoffalongthebeach.TheMajorandMeldon,whocarriedthepunt'soars,struckacrossthefieldstowardsPortsmouth

Lodge.

"Ican'tunderstanditatall,"saidMeldon."AfterwhatIsaidtoSimpkinsIsimplycan'tunderstandhisneglectinghisopportunitieslikethis.You'dthinkfromthewayhe'sbehavingthathedoesn'twanttobemarriedatall."

"Perhapshedoesn't,"saidtheMajor."Anyway,youcandonomorethanyou'vedone.Youmayaswelldropitnow,andhavetherestofyourholidayinpeace."

"Thefactis,"saidMeldon,"Ioughtnottohavegoneawayandleftthem.IhadnobusinesstotakethatcruiseintheSpindrift.If

I'dbeenhere--"

"Idon'tseewhatyoucouldhavedone.Ifthefellowdoesn'twantthegirl,howcouldyouforcehimtogoandmarryher?Anyway,it'sagoodjobforMissKingthathehasn't."

"IfI'dbeenhere--"saidMeldon,andthenpaused.

"Whatwouldyouhavedone?"



"I'dhavedonewhatI'mgoingtodonowthatI'mback."

"Andwhat'sthat?"

"Throwthemtogether,"saidMeldon."Insistonhisbeingconstantlywithheruntilhebeginstoappreciatehercharm.Idefyanyone,anyonewho'snotalreadymarried,toresistMissKingifshelooksathimoutofthecornersofhereyesasshedidatmetheotherday."

"Shewon'tdothat,"saidtheMajor."Nowomanwould,onceshehadseenSimpkins."

"Oh,she'lldoitallright.Don'tyoufretaboutthat.AllIhavetodoistogiveheraproperopportunitybythrowingthemtogetherabit."

"Idon'tquiteseehowyou'regoingtodothatifSimpkinswon'tgonearher."

"Youwouldn'tsee,ofcourse.Indeedyoucouldn't,becauseIdon'tquiteknowmyselfyethowitistobemanaged.Ishallhavetothinkitalloververycarefully.Imayhavetospendthegreaterpartofthenightconsideringthematter;butonethingyoumaybequiteconfidentabout,Major,andthatisthatwhenIsaytheyaretobe

throwntogether,theywillbethrowntogether.IshallmakesucharrangementsthatSimpkinssimplywon'tbeabletoescape,howeverhardhetries."

MeldonwasnotobligedtospendasleeplessnightdevisingmeetingsbetweenSimpkinsandMissKing.Heputtheoarsintothecoach-houseassoonashereachedPortsmouthLodge,andthensettleddownwithapipeonahammock-chairoutsidethedoor.HewasreadywithapracticalsuggestionbythetimeMajorKenthadfinisheddressingfordinner.Beingtoowisetoproposeadifficultmattertoahungryman,hewaiteduntilthemealwasnearlyoverbeforehesaidanythingtohisfriend.

"Major,"hesaid,"to-morrowisSunday,andIthinkitwouldbeacapitalthingifyouintroducedyourselftoMissKingafterchurch.Youcouldwaylayherjustoutsidetheporch,andtellherwhoyouare.I'vetalkedtoheragooddealaboutyou,soshe'llknowyoudirectlyshehearsyourname."

"Idon'tthinkI'lldothat,J.J.,"saidtheMajor."Fromwhatyou'vetoldmeaboutherIdon'tthinkshe'sthekindofwomanI'dcareabout.IthinkI'llkeepclearofherasmuchasIcan."

"Itoldyou,"saidMeldon,"thatshewasgood-lookingandhadpleasantmannerswhennotirritated.Idon'tseewhatobjectionyoucanhavetoher."

"Iwasn'tthinkingaboutherappearanceorhermanners.Theymaybeallright,butifwhatyousaidistrueandshereally--"

"Don'tbenarrow-minded,Major.Ihatethatkindofpharisaicalbigotry.ThefactthatMrs.Lorimerbehavedasshedidisnoreasonintheworldwhyyoushouldcutthepoorwoman.It'sawell-knownfactthatpeoplewhoarereallymuchworsethansheisarefreelyreceivedintothebestsociety;and,inanycase,thelatestsystemsofmoralityarequitechangingtheviewthatweusedtotakeaboutmurder.Take



Nietzsche,forinstance--"

"Who'sNietzsche?"

"He'saphilosopher,"saidMeldon,"orratherhewas,forhe'sdeadnow.Hedividedallmoralityintotwokinds--slavemorality,whichheregardsasdespicable,andmastermorality,whichisofthemostsuperiorpossiblekind."

"Still--Idon'tknowanythingaboutthemanyoumention,butIsupposeevenhewouldhavedrawnthelineatmurder."

"Notatall.Mastermorality,which,accordingtohissystem,isthebestkind,consistsentirelyofbeingthesortofmanwhoisabletogetintoapositiontobullyotherpeople.Slavemorality,ontheotherhand,consistsinhavingthekindoftemperamentwhichsubmitstobeingbullied,andpretendstothinkitafinethingtosuffer.Nowmurder,asanyonecansee,issimplyanextremeformofbullying;andthereforeasuccessfulmurderer,accordingtoNietzsche'sphilosophy,isthefinestkindofmanthereis.Whereashisvictims,thelateLorimer,forinstance,aremereslaves,andthereforethoroughlydespicable.Youfollowmesofar,Isuppose?"

"No,Idon't.Ifanymansayswhatyousaythatfellowsays--"

"Nietzschedoesn'tactuallysayallthat,"saidMeldon."Hehadn'tasufficientlylogicalmindtoworkouthisphilosophytoitsultimatepracticalconclusions,butyoumaytakemywordforitthatI'vegivenyouthegistofhissystem."

"Thenheoughttohavebeenhanged."

"Idaresayheought,"saidMeldon."IneedscarcelysayIdon'tagreewithhim.Butthat'snotthepoint.Asamatteroffact,sofarfrombeinghangedorincurringanykindofodium,hissystemisquitethemostpopularthereisatpresent.Londonisfullofyoungmeninlarge,roundspectacles,andscraggywomenwhohaven'tsucceededin

gettingmarried--theleadersofmodernthought,you'llobserve,Major--everyoneofwhomisdeeplyattachedtoNietzsche.Youcan't,withoutlabellingyourselfahopelessreactionary,flyrightinthefaceofculturedsocietybyrefusingtoassociatewithMissKing."

"Iwon'tmixmyselfupwith--"

"Comenow,Major,thatsortofattitudewouldhavebeenallverywellfiftyyearsago,butitwon'tdonow.Yousimplycan'tshutyourselfupandsaythatyouwon'tspeaktoanyonewhodoesn'tagreewithyouineveryopinionyouhave.Asamatteroffact,youassociatefreelywithlotsofpeoplewhodifferfromyouinreligionandpoliticsfarmorefundamentallythanpoorMissKingdoes.Youcan'trefusetoknow

hersimplybecausesheacceptsasystemofphilosophywhichyouneverheardoftillthisminute,andevennowdon'tthoroughlyunderstandinspiteofallI'vetoldyouaboutit."

"Inanycase,"saidtheMajor,"Idon'tlikewomenwhoflirt.Andyoutoldmeyourselfthatshetriedtoflirtwithyou."

"Ah,"saidMeldon,"nowwe'regettingatyourrealreasons.Ithoughtyoucouldn'tbeinearnestabouttheNietzscheanphilosophy.Thatwasmerelyanexcuse.Whatyou'rereallyafraidofisthatMissKingmight



marryyou.Idon'tblameyouforbeingalittlecautiousaboutthat,knowingwhatyoudoaboutthefateofherformerhusbands.AtthesametimeImaypointout--"

"I'mnottheleastafraidofhermarryingme.Shewon'tgetthechance."

"Thenwhydoyousayyouobjecttoherflirting?"

"BecauseIdoobjecttoit.Idon'tlikethatkindofwoman."

"Doyoumeantosay,Major,thatagirlisn'ttobeallowedtomakeeyesatthemanshe'sgoingtomarry?"

"Idon'tsayanythingofthesort.Ofcourse,ifshe'sgoingtomarryaman--butreally,J.J.,Idon'tknowanythingaboutthesethings."

"Thendon'ttalkaboutthem.Youmaytakemywordforit,Major,thatMissKingisperfectlyjustifiedinbeingasniceasevershecantoSimpkins."

"IneversaidanythingaboutSimpkins.AsfarasIcanmakeoutsheisn'tparticularlynicetoSimpkins."

"No,sheisn't,sofar;butthat'sonlybecauseshehasn'thadafairchance.WhenwegetthemouttogetherintheSpindrift--"

"What?"

"WhenwegetthetwoofthemouttogetherintheSpindrift,"saidMeldon,speakingslowlyanddistinctly,"you'llseethatshe'llmakeherselfperfectlyfascinating--nottoyouorme,buttoSimpkins."

"LeavingMissKingoutofthequestion,"saidtheMajor,"I'dlikeyoutobeperfectlyclearaboutthis.Iwon't--"

"BeforewegoontoSimpkins,"saidMeldon,"wemustsettledefinitely

aboutMissKing.IsitunderstoodthatyoucatchherafterchurchtomorrowandinviteheroutforasailwithusintheSpindrift?"

"No;Iwon't.Iwouldn'tinanycase;butifSimpkins--"

"I'mnotgoingontoSimpkinsyet.ImustfinishMissKingfirst.You'vegivenyourreasonsfornotmakingheracquaintance,andI'veshownyouthattheyareutterlyfeebleandwon'tholdwaterforaminute.Ifyou'venootherobjection,thenIthink,asastraightforwardman,youareboundtoadmityouareinthewronganddowhatyououghttohavebeenreadytodowithoutallthisarguing."

"Toobligeyou,"saidtheMajor,"andbecauseIwantyoutohavea

pleasantholidaynowyou'rehere,IwillaskMissKingoutwithusonce.ButIwon'taskSimpkins.Themanisahorridbounder,whomakeshimselfobjectionabletoeverybody,andIwon'taskhim."

"Nobodywantsyoutoaskhim.I'llaskhim."

"Thatwillbejustthesamething.Onceforall,J.J.,Iwon'thavethatmanonboardmyboat."

"Idon'tthink,"saidMeldon,"thatyouarebehavingwithquiteyour



usualfairness,Major.Youdon'tlikeSimpkins.Iamnotgoingintothereasonsforyourdislike.Theymaybesound,ortheymaybethereverse.Isimplystatethefactthatyoudon'tgetonwiththeman.Verywell.Idon'tgetonwithMissKing.ItoldyoutheotherdaythatIoffendedher,andshewaswhatIshouldcallextremelyrudetomeafterwards.ButdoIbringthatupasareasonwhyyoushouldnottakeherforasailintheSpindrift?Certainlynot.Itwon't,asamatteroffact,beparticularlypleasantformehavingtositinthesameboatalldaywithayoungwomanwhowon'tspeaktome;butI'mpreparedtosacrificemyselfanddoit.AndyououghttobereadytodothesamethinginthecaseofSimpkins."

"I'mnot,"saidtheMajor."Ican'tandwon'thaveSimpkins."

"MydearMajor,don'tyouseethatyourquarrelwithSimpkinsisoneofthestrongestpointsinthewholeplan?Hewon'tspeaktoyouwhenheseesthatyoudislikehim.MissKingwon'tspeaktome.Whatwilltheconsequencebe?Why,ofcourse,they'llbethrowntogether.Theymusttalktoeachother,andthat'sexactlywhatwewantthemtodo.IfSimpkinswasafriendofyours,andifMissKingwasparticularlyfondofme,there'dbenouseourtakingthemoutatall.Theywouldn'tbeobligedtotalktoeachother."

"Ifyou'vefinishedyourdinner,J.J.,wemayaswellgointothenext

roomandsmoke.Idon'tseethatthere'sanyusegoingonwiththisconversation."

"Thereisn't;nottheleast.Butyou'lldomethejustice,Major,toadmitthatitwasn'tIwhoinsistedonit.Icouldperfectlywellhavearrangedthematterintwosentences,butyouwouldarguewithmeabouteverysinglethingIsaid."

MajorKentroseandopenedthedoorforhisfriend.Theywenttogetherintothestudyandsatdown.TheMajor,afterafewpreliminaryexcuses,tookthetwocopiesofTheTimes,whichhadarrivedbypostwhilsthewasoutintheSpindrift.Hesettleddowntotheleadingarticleswithacomfortablesensethathewasdoinghisduty.Meldon

wanderedroundtheroomlookingforsomethingtoread.Hefoundanewbookonboat-buildingwhichpromisedtobeinteresting.Unfortunatelyitturnedouttobehighlytechnical,andthereforedull.Itdroppedfromhisknees.Henodded,tookthepipefromhismouth,laybackcomfortably,andwenttosleep.MajorKentsatisfiedhimselfthattheEnglishnavy,thoughinsomewaysthebestintheworld,wasinotherrespectsinefficientandutterlyuselessasanationaldefence.Then,ataboutteno'clock,hetoowentasleep.Afewminuteslaterhebegantosnore,andthenoisehemadewokeMeldon.Hefeltforhispipe,filledandlitit.HesatgazingatMajorKentforaquarterofanhour,thenhecoughedloudly.TheMajorwokewithastart.

"It'saremarkablething,"saidMeldon,"howsleepytwodaysonthesea

makeone.Ihadanapmyself.Youweresoundandsnoring."

"It'searlyyet,"saidtheMajor,glancingattheclock."Iseldomturninbeforeeleven."

"I'mgoingtoturninnow,"saidMeldon."I'dbebetterinbed,forIcan'tsleepherewiththewayyou'resnoring.IjustwokeyouuptosaythatI'llgetaholdofSimpkinssometimeto-morrowandsettlethingswithhim.Idaresay,afterthewayhehasbehavedtothepooroldrector,thathe'llbeashamedtocometochurch,butI'lllookhim



upafterwards.You'llberesponsibleforMissKing."

"Ican'targueanymoreto-night,"saidtheMajor,yawning;"butdon'tyougotobedundertheimpressionthatI'mgoingtohaveSimpkinsintheyacht,forI'mnot."

"Idon'twanttoargueeither,butI'lljustsayonewordtoyoubeforeIgo:onewordthatI'dliketohaveimprintedonyourmindduringthenight.Youwon'tmindlisteningtooneword,willyou?"

"Notifit'sonlyone."

"Itisliterallyandsimplyone.Duty."

"Duty!"saidtheMajor,sittingup.

"Yes,duty.You'reanEnglishman,Major,atleastbydescent,andyouknowthatthere'soneappealwhichisnevermadeinvaintoEnglishmen,andthatistheappealtoduty.Wasn'tthatthemeaningofthesignalNelsonhoistedjustbeforeheaskedHardytokisshim!AndwhatdidHardydo?Kissedhimatonce,thoughhecan'tpossiblyhavelikedit."

"Ithinkyou'vegotthestorywrongsomewhere,J.J.AswellasIrecollect--"

"Imaybeinaccurateinsomeofthedetails,"saidMeldon,"butthebroadprincipleisasIstateit;andIputittoyounow,Major,beforeIsaygood-night,willyouorwillyounotrespondtotheappeal?RememberTrafalgarandtheoldVictory.You'reamilitaryman,ofcourse,butyoumusthavesomerespectforNelson."

"Ihave.ButIdon'tseehowdutycomesininthiscase.Oh,J.J.!Iwishyou'dgotobedandstoptalking."

"Iwill.Iwantto.I'mabsolutelydroppingofftosleep,butIcan'tgotillI'veexplainedtoyouwhereyourdutylies.HereisthetownofBallymoygroaningunderanintolerabletyranny.Doyle'slifeisa

burdentohim.O'Donoghuecan'tsleepatnightforfearofaLocalGovernmentBoardenquiry.Thepoliceareharriedinthedischargeoftheirduties.Therector'sbronchitisisintensifiedtoadangerousextent.SabinaGallagher'sred-hairedcousin,whosenameI'venotyetbeenabletodiscover,isperfectlymiserable.PooroldCallaghan,whomeanswell,thoughhehasamostpuritanicaldreadofimpropriety,isworntoashadow.Itrestswithyouwhetherthisstateofthingsistocontinueornot.Youand,sofarasIcanseeatpresent,youalone,areinapositiontoarrangeforthedownfallofSimpkins.Isitorisitnotyourduty,yoursimpleduty,todowhatyoucan,evenatthecostofsomelittletemporaryinconveniencetoyourself?"

"IfIthoughtallthat--"saidtheMajor."ButI'mmuchtoosleepyto

think."

"You'renotaskedtothink,"saidMeldon."WhateverthinkinghastobedoneI'lldomyself.Youhavetoact,orratherinthiscasetopermitmetoact."

"Iexpectyou'llact,asyoucallit,whetherIpermityouornot."

"OfcourseIwill,"saidMeldon."ButI'dratherhaveyourpermission.I'dratheryoudidn'tshattertheidealI'vealwayshadofyouasa



duty-lovingEnglishman."

"Allright,"saidtheMajorwearily."Dowhatyoulike,butforgoodness'sakegotobedandstoptalking."

"Good-night,"saidMeldon."Ifyoufindyourselfinclinedtochangeyourmindbeforemorning,justmurmurovertoyourself,'Englandexpectseverymantodohisduty.'Thatwillstiffenyourback."

CHAPTERX.

MajorKentcamedowntobreakfastnextmorninginafrockcoatandawhitewaistcoat.Hissilkhat,carefullybrushedandglossy,layonthehalltablewithapairofpalegreykidglovesbesideit.Meldon,whowasalittlelateforbreakfast,pausedinthehallandlookedatthehat.Enteringthedining-roomhetookalongstareathisfriend.

"Major,"hesaid,"you'reawonderfulman.Ihadforgottenhowwonderfulyouare.NowthatIamgettingtoknowyouagainIamstruckdumbwithabsoluteamazement."

TheMajorwasuneasilyconsciousthathisattirewasinstrongcontrasttoMeldon'sshabbyjacketandwrinkledtrousers.

"Idon'tsuppose,"saidMeldon,"thatthere'sanothermaninthewholeworldwhocouldgoondressinghimselfuplikethatSundayafterSundayinaplacelikeBallymoy.However,thehabitwillturnoutbeneficialforonce.Iexpectyou'llproduceanexcellenteffectonMissKing."

"Iwasthinkingoverthatplanofyourslastnight,"saidtheMajor,"and--"

"IwasundertheimpressionthatIdistinctlytoldyounottothink.There'snottheslightestnecessityforyoutoexertyourselfinthat

way;andbesides,sofarasIknow,youinvariablythinkwrong.However,ifyoureallyhavethought,you'dbettergettheresultoffyourchestatonce."

"Itoccurredtome--"saidtheMajor.

"That'snotquitethesamethingasthinking.Idon'tblameyousomuch,nowthatIknowthatthething,whateveritis,merelyoccurredtoyou.Nomancanbeheldresponsibleforthethingsthatoccurtohim.TherewasoneoftheancientEgyptianhermitswhomadeaverysensibleremarkonthatsubject.You'llfinditinMigne's'PatrologiaLatina,'inthevolumewhichcontainsthe'VerbaSeniorum.'Ican'tquotetheexactwordsatthemoment,buttheyaretothiseffect:'If

youcan'tstopthewindfromblowing,neithercanyoupreventevilthoughtsfromenteringyourmind.'Idaresaythethingthatoccurredtoyouwasn'tactuallyevilinthesensewhichthehermitmeant,butitisprettysuretohavebeenfoolish;andthat,forallpracticalpurposes,isthesamething.Bytheway,thisisexcellentbacon;quitethebestI'vetastedforalongtime.DoesDoylesupplyit?"

"No;IgetitdownfromDublin.Butaboutthatplanofyours.ItoccurstomethatMissKingisnotlikelytobeinchurch."



"Ofcourseshe'llbeinchurch.Whyshouldn'tshe?"

"Well,ifshe'sadiscipleofthatmanyouwerespeakingaboutlastnight,shecanhardlybewhat'sgenerallycalledaChristian,canshe?"

"Ofcoursenot.Butshe'llcometochurchjustthesame."

"Butsurely--Notifshedoesn'tbelieveinChristianity?"

"MydearMajor!yourideasinsomerespectsareextraordinarilyprimitive.ThelessanybodylikesChristianityforhimself,themoresureheisthatit'sanexcellentreligionforotherpeople.That'sthereasonyoufindstatesmenallovertheworldsupportingwhateverChurchisuppermostatthemomentintheparticularcountrytheyhappentobedealingwith.LookatthehistoryofIreland,forinstance.ForacenturyandahalfBritishstatesmensteadilyfattedupourchurch.Nowtheyaredroppinganyplumsthattheycanspare--CongestedDistrictsBoardsandsuchthings--intothemouthsoftheRomanCatholicbishops.Doyousupposetheycareapinforeither?Notthey.Alltheywantistostrengthenupsomeformofreligionwhichwillkeepthepeoplequiet.TheythinkthatChristianityisanexcellentthingforeverybodytheyhavetogovern,thoughtheytakejollygoodcarenottoactonitthemselves.Injustthesamewayyou'llseethatMissKingwillbeinchurchto-day.AsafollowerofNietzscheshedoesn't

herselfaccepttheethicsofChristianity,butshe'llconsideritherdutytoencourageeverybodyelsetoacceptthem,andtheonlypracticalwayshehasofdoingthatistoattendchurchregularly."

"You'repreachingto-day,aren'tyou,J.J.?"

"Yes,Iam.IpromisedthepooroldrectorthatIwoulddoallIcouldtohelphimwhileI'mhere.Whydoyouask?"

"Iwaswondering,"saidtheMajor,"ifyouweregoingtogiveusthatdoctrineoutofthepulpit."

"Well,I'mnot.Yououghttoknow,Major,thatmysermonsarealways

strictlypractical,anddealentirelywithmattersofpressinglocalimportance:theordinarydifficultiesanddangersofthepeopleI'mpreachingto.Therewon'tbeanystatesmeninchurchto-day,sothere'dbenopointinmyexplainingthattheory.IfI'meveraskedtopreachbeforetheHouseofCommonsIshallgiveittothem."

ThisaccountofMeldon'stheoryofsermonsmadetheMajoralittlenervous.Heaskedhisnextquestionanxiously.

"Areyougoingtobepersonal,J.J.?Ihopenot."

"Ican'tpreachthewholesermontoyoubeforehand,Major;butIdon'tmindtellingyouthatitwilldealwiththeviceofsquabblingwhichI

findrampantinsmallcommunities.Ishan't,ofcourse,mentionyouandSimpkins;or,forthematterofthat,DoyleandO'Donoghue,thoughitwouldn'tmattermuchifIdidmentionthem.BeingRomanCatholics,theywon'tbetheretoobject."

"Thesermonwillbepersonal,then?"

"No,itwon't.Ishan'tevenalludetothesubjectoffishing.Ishallpreachinsuchawayastogetateverybodywhohaseverquarrelledwithanybodyelse.AfterlisteningtowhatIsay,youwill



bemuchmoreinclinedtotakeSimpkinsoutintheSpindrift."

Meldon'ssermonwasallthatheboasted.HechoseashistextaverseoutoftheBookofProverbswhichcomparesanyonewhomeddlesunnecessarilywithstrifetoamanwhotakesadogbytheears.Hespokefeelingly,fromwhatappearedtobetherecollectionofunpleasantexperience,ofthewayinwhichspiriteddogsbehavewhenanyonetakesthemforciblybytheears.Heexplainedinashortparenthesisthebestwayofdealingwithdog-fights.Healsodescribedinsimplelanguagetheconsequenceswhichresultfrombeingbitten--consequenceswhichrangefromhydrophobiaandtetanusdowntosimpleblood-poisoning.Thenhepassedontoshowthathumanbites,inflicted,sohesaid,oftenerwiththetonguethanwiththeteeth,werefarmoredangerousthanthoseofdogs.Thecongregationbecamegreatlyinterestedatthispoint,andallowedthemselvestobesweptforwardbyaviolentsophismwhichcarriedthepreacherfarbeyondtheoriginalstatementofSolomon.Allquarrelling,notmerelyinterferingwithexistingquarrelsoflongstanding,wasdenouncedinforciblelanguage.MajorKentfeltuncomfortable;then,asthepreacherworkedhimselfup,resentful.Finally,hewascowed.MeldonseizedthepsychologicalmomentandclosedhisdiscoursewithaquotationfromthepoetryofDr.Watts.Hemadearemarkablyappositecitationofthewell-knownlineswhichexoneratedogs,bears,andlionsfromanyblamewhentheybark,bite,growl,orfight,andemphasisedtheentirely

differentpositionofthehumanrace.

MajorKent,bruisedbythevigourofhisfriend'seloquence,accostedMissKinginthechurchporchafterservice;apologisedfornothavingformallycalledonher;andinvitedhertogoyachtingwithhimnextdayintheSpindrift.MissKingacceptedtheinvitation,andthen,workedupperhapstoanunusualpitchoffriendlinessbythesermon,askedtheMajortogobacktoBallymoyHousewithherforluncheon.MeldonappearedfromthedoorofthevestryroomandurgedtheMajortoaccepttheinvitation.

"AsIexpected,"hesaid,"Simpkinswasn'tinchurch.--Howdoyoudo,MissKing?I'mgladyouandtheMajorhavemadefriends.You'resure

tolikeeachother.--SoIshallhavetogoroundtohishouseandlookhimup.Idaresayhe'llgivemeabitetoeat;andifhedoesn't,Doylewill.Youwillofcourseaccept"--heappearedtobeaddressingMajorKent--"MissKing'sinvitation.I'llcallroundforyouataboutfour.IdaresayMissKingwillgiveusbothacupoftea.Youdriveherhomeinyourtrap,Major.IcanwalkdowntoSimpkins'housequiteeasily."

Meldon,carryinghishatinonehand,strodeoffinthedirectionofMr.Simpkins'house.MissKinglookedatMajorKent.

"Youseeit'sallsettledforyou,"shesaid."You'llhavetocomebackwithme."

"IsupposeIhadbetter,"saidtheMajor.Thenafterapauseheadded,"OfcourseI'mdelightedto,andit'sverykindofyoutoaskme."

SimpkinswasstretchedinahammockchairreadinganovelwhenMeldonfoundhim.Hereceivedaseverelecturefornotattendingchurch,whichseemedtosurprisehimagooddeal,especiallyashisabsencewasattributedbyMeldontoshameandaconsciousnessofguilt,feelingsfromwhichSimpkinshadneverinhislifesuffered.Then--andthisseemedtoastonishhimstillmore--hewaswarmlyinvitedtogofora



day'syachtingintheSpindrift.

"Ididn'thear,"hesaiddoubtfully,"thatMajorKentwasgoingaway."

"Heisn't,"saidMeldon."Don'tItellyouhe'sgivingapicnicinhisyacht?"

"Areyousurehewantsme?"

"Certain.Hesentyouaninvitation,whichisaplainproofthathewantsyou.Hewouldhavedeliveredithimself,onlythatMissKingcaughthimafterchurchandcarriedhimofftoluncheon.ButIhaveoneofhiscardswithme,andifyouinsistoneverythingbeingdoneinthemostaccurateandcorrectpossiblemanner,I'llleaveitontheumbrellastandinyourhallasIgoout."

MeldonhadprovidedhimselfwithafewoftheMajor'svisitingcardsbeforeleavingPortsmouthLodgeinthemorning.Hewasamanwhopridedhimselfonleavingnothingtochance.Sinceitwasjustpossiblethatthecardsmightturnouttobeuseful,hehadputafewinhispocket.

"Infact,"hewenton,"topreventanypossiblemistakeormisunderstandingImayaswellhanditovertoyouatonce."He

producedacard,slightlycrumpledandagooddealsoiled,fromhiswaistcoatpocket,andlaiditonSimpkins'knee.Simpkinslookedatitdoubtfully,tookitupinhishand,andexaminedbothsidesofit.Thenhespokeslowly.

"Ithinkyouknow,"hesaid;"infact,I'vetoldyoumyself,thattheMajorandIaren'tonverygoodterms.Iwasobligedtospeaktohimratherstronglyaboutthewayheusedtofishinapartoftheriver--"

"Iknowallaboutthat;youneedn'tgointoitagain.It'sentirelyoveranddonewith.Aneraofpeaceisbeginningtodawn.Afterlisteningtomysermonthismorning--it'sagreatpityforyourownsakethatyouweren'tinchurch,Simpkins--theMajorfindshimselfina

positiontoforgetthepastandtostartfresh.Hisattitudenow--verylargelyowingtomysermon--isthatofthedovewhichcametothearkwithanoliveleafpluckedoffinitsmouth."

Simpkinswasnotapparentlypreparedtoaccepttheoliveleaf.HeaskedMeldonwhetherthatdovewasthetextofhissermon.

"No,itwasn't.Imighthavealludedtoit,butIdidn't.Imighthaveexplained,ifI'dthoughtofitatthetime--infact,Iwillexplaintoyounow.Thedoveisofallbirdsthemostpeacefulandtheleastinclinedtoquarrelwithotherbirds.You'dknowthatbythesoothingwayitcoos,andalsobythecolourofitsbreast.Tennyson,thepoet,notesthefactthatthepeculiarblueyshadeofitsfeathers

arousesfeelingsofaffectioninpeoplewhoweren'tthinkingofanythingofthesortbeforetheysawit.I'mnotpreparedtoassertthatpositivelymyself,butIshouldn'twonderiftherewassomethingintheidea.Thentheolivebranchistheregular,recognisedsymbolofpeace.Thereasonofthatisthatoilisgotoutofolives,andoilisoneofthemostsoothingthingsthereis.Ofcourse,yougetoilfromothersourcestoo--fromwhales,forinstance;buttheolivebranchischosenasasymbolbecauseit'ssuchamuchmoreconvenientthingtocarryaboutthanawhaleis.Noexplorer,whenmeetingasavagetribewithwhichhedoesn'twanttofight,couldpossiblywaveawhale,even



ifhehadonewithhim--andhewouldn'tbelikelyto,unlesshewasexploringthepolarregions--whereashecanwaveanolivebranch,andalwaysdoes.That'sthereasontheolivebranchandnotthewhaleischosenasthesymbolofpeace.You'llbeabletorealisenowhowextraordinarilypeaceabletheMajoriswhenIcomparehimtoadovewithanoliveleafinhismouth."

"If,"saidSimpkins,whohadonlypartiallyfollowedthereasoningaboutthedoveandtheolive--"iftheMajorapologisesforthewayhespoke,I'mquiteready--"

"Hedoesn'tactuallyapologise,"saidMeldon."Youcanhardlyexpectthatofhim.Ithinkmyselfhe'sgoingasfarascanreasonablybeexpectedofhimwhenheasksyououtforaday'syachting.Veryfewmenwoulddoasmuch;andImaysaytoyou,Simpkins,thatifyou'dbeeninchurchto-dayandheardmysermon,youwouldn'tbeinclinednowtostandoutforanapology.Youwould,infact,mostlikelybelookingoutforanoliveleafandadoveofyourowntocarrytotheMajor."

"Buthewasentirelyinthewrongaboutthefishing.Iadmittedallalongthathewasperfectlyentitledtofishbelowthebridge,butheinsisted---"

"Quiteso,"saidMeldon."That'smyexactpoint.Anyfoolcanapologisewhenhe'sbeenintheright.Thatgiveshimsuchacomfortablesenseofsuperioritythathedoesn'tabitmindgrovellingbeforetheotherfellow.Whatistotallyimpossibleistoapologisewhenyou'reinthewrong.Youmustbeabletorealisethat."

"I'mnotatallsure,"saidSimpkins,"thatIoughttoaccepttheinvitation.MajorKent'shostilitytomehasbeenmostmarked.Everybodyabouttheplacehasnoticedit."

"Unlessyou'reperfectlysurethatyououghtnottoaccepttheinvitation,"saidMeldon,"Ithinkyou'dbettergiveyourselfthebenefitofthedoubt.Itwillbeamostenjoyableexpedition.Miss

Kingiscoming.Bytheway,Ihopeyouhaven'tquarrelledwithMissKinginanyway?"

"No,Ihaven't.WhyshouldI?"

"I'mgladtohearit,Iwasafraidperhapsyouandshemighthavefallenoutoversomething.Butifyouhaven't,whydidn'tyougonearherforthelasttwodays?"

"IwasthereonThursdayafternoon.Ican'twithanydecencycallonhereverydayintheweek."

"Ohyes,youcan;and,ifyoumeantomarryher,yououghtto.Believe

me,there'snothingestrangesawoman'saffectionsorapidlyasthatkindofstudiedneglect.Shecan'tcallonyou,youknow,withoutputtingherselfinawhollyfalseposition."

"Ihaven'tquitemadeupmymindaboutmarryingher."

"Oh,well,thedayintheSpindriftwilldothatforyou.There'ssomethingveryexhilarating,Simpkins,aboutafreshseabreeze.Itsimplysweepsawayallhesitation,andrendersyoucapableofmarryingalmostanyone.That'sthereasonwhysailorsarefamousforhavinga



wifeineveryporttheycallat,andwhynobodyblamesthemforit.Exposed,astheynecessarilyare,totheseaairatitspurest,theysimplycan'thelpthemselves.Theybecomeexaggeratedlyuxoriouswithoutintheleastmeaningto."

"Besides,"saidSimpkins,"I'venoreasontosupposethatMissKingwouldmarryme."

"Haveyouanyreasontosupposeshewon't?"

"No.I'veonlyseenheronce,youknow."

"ThenIthinkitextremelylikelythatshewill.Everybodyknowsthatmostpeopledothingsnotsomuchbecausetheywanttoasbecausetheyhaven'tanyreasonforrefusing.Taketheaverageparty,forinstance--teaparty,tennisparty,gardenparty,ordinnerparty.Howmanymengotopartiesbecausetheywantto?Notoneinahundred.Theotherninety-ninegosimplybecausethere'snoavailablereasonfornotgoing.It'sjustthesamewithmarrying.UnlessyougiveMissKingsomegoodreasonforrefusingyou,she'llmarryyouassoonaseveryouaskher.AndifIwereyouI'daskherto-morrow.We'lllandonanislandforluncheon.TheMajorandIwillslipoffbyourselvesandgiveyouyouropportunity."

"I'mnotsure--"

"Comenow,Simpkins,haveyouanythingagainstthegirl?Hasanybodybeencirculatingstoriesaboutherofanysort?Iknowthisisagossipysortofplace,and--"

"Ohno;it'ssimplythatIdon'tknowher."

"Ifthat'sall,"saidMeldon,"adayintheSpindriftwillsetitright.You'llbesurprisedhowintimateyoubecomewithapersonwhenyou'resittingforhourscrammedupagainsthimorherinthecockpitofafive-tonyacht.Bythetimeyou'vedisentangledhertwicefromthemainsheet,withtheMajorswearingallthetime,andbeenobliged

tohaulheruptowindwardwhenevertheboatgoesaboutandshegetsleftwithherheaddownontheleeside,yougettofeelasifyou'dknownherintimatelyforyears.Bytheway,whattimedoyoulunch?"

"Half-pastone,"saidSimpkins."Willyou--"

"Thanks,"saidMeldon;"Iwill,ifyou'requitesurethere'senoughfortwo.I'mdueatMissKing'satfour.TheMajor'sthere.MissKingaskedhimtoluncheonwithher.Butyouneedn'tmind.Hehasn'ttheleastnotionofmarryingheroranybodyelse.Youcancomewithmeintheafternoonifyoulike.Infact,Ithinkitwouldbeaverygoodplanifyoudid.I'llcleartheMajoroutofthewayatonce,andthenyoucanhaveagoodinnings.Ifyouplayyourcardsproperlyto-day,

you'llcertainlybeinapositiontoproposetoherto-morrow."

Atfouro'clockMeldonledtheratherembarrassedSimpkinsuptoBallymoyHouse.MissKingandMajorKentweresittingtogetheronthelawn,andwereapparentlygettingonverywellindeed.ThegreetingbetweenMr.SimpkinsandtheMajorwasconstrainedandcold.MissKingseemedtofeelthatthesituationdemandedtact.Shesuggestedorderingteaatonce,andhavingitoutofdoors.

"Notforus,thanks,"saidMeldon."TheMajorandImustbeoffat



once.Wehaven'tamomenttodelay."

MajorKentlookedsurprised,andseemedinclinedtoaskquestions.HeresentedthearrivalofSimpkins,buthedidnotwanttoleaveMissKingsosoon.

"Isaidthismorning,"saidMeldon,"thatwe'dstopfortea;butsincethenIfindthatI'mtied--infact,we'rebothtied--toamostimportantengagement,andmustabsolutelyrunifwearetobeintime.Comealong,Major."Heseizedhimbythearmashespoke."Good-bye,MissKing.Good-bye,Simpkins.We'llseeyoubothatPortsmouthLodgeattento-morrowmorning."

"Isuppose,J.J.,"saidtheMajor,whenMeldon,reachingthehighroad,slackenedhispace--"IsupposethatI'mbeinghustledaboutlikethissothatSimpkinscanhaveMissKingalltohimself,but--"

"Exactly,"saidMeldon."Imaytellyou,Major,thatInowlookuponSimpkinsaspracticallyadeadman.Idon'tseehowhecanpossiblyescape."

"WhatIwasgoingtosay,"saidtheMajor,"isthatIthinkyouaremistakenaboutMissKing.Shedoesn'tseemtometheleastlikeacriminal."

"Ofcoursenot.Shewouldn'tbethesuccessfulmurderesssheisifshehadn'tthemannersandappearanceofaverygentleandgraciouslady.That'swhatgivesherthepullshehaswhenitcomestotheverdictofajury.Yououghttoknow,Major,thattheoldBillSykessortofcriminal,thebrutalised-lookingmanwithahugejawandalowforehead,isquiteoutofdatenow.Noonegetshimselfupinthatstylewhomeanstogoinforseriouscrime.Inabookpublishedtheotherdaytherewasacompositephotographmadeupofthefacesoffiftyorsixtycriminalsofthemostextremekind.Iassureyouthatthenetresultwasanuncommonlygood-lookingman.ThatshowsyouthetruthofwhatI'msaying."

"Inanycase,J.J.,settingasideherpersonalappearanceandmanner--"

"Yourimpressionofherpersonalappearance.Iwasn'ttakeninbyit."

"Sheisn'tthesortofwomanyousaidshewas.She'dneverheardofthatphilosopherofyours."

"DoyoumeantosaythatshedeniedeverhavingheardthenameofNietzsche?"

"Notexactly.ThefactisthatIcouldn'trecollecthisname,butIgaveherasketchofhisdoctrines--"

"Idon'texpectsherecognisedyoursketch.Youwereprobablygrosslyinaccurate."

"Igaveheralmostwordforwordwhatyousaidlastnightaboutmurderbeingaveryvirtuousthingandbullyingbeingthehighestformofmorality."

"EvensoIdon'texpectsherecognisedit.YouseeIhadtoparaphrasethewholethingtobringitdowntothelevelofyourunderstanding.Ifyou'dbeeninapositiontoquoteaphraseortwo,likeHerren



Morale,forinstance,she'dhaverecognisedthesystematonce,evenwithoutthenameofNietzsche."

"Icouldn'tdothat,ofcourse."

"NowIcometothinkofit,Idon'tsupposeshe'dhaveowneduptoNietzscheinanycase.She'dhavebeenboundtodenyanyknowledgeofthesystem.Youseeshedoesn'tknowthatI'vetoldyouwhoshereallyis.Sheprobablydistrustsyouasamagistrate.AfterthebrutalwayinwhichSirGilbertHawkesbysummedupagainsther,shewouldnaturallybeabitshyofanyoneoccupyinganysortofjudicialposition.OfcourseifsheknewthatyouwerekeenlyinterestedinthedeathofSimpkinsitwouldhavebeendifferent.She'dhavespokenquiteopenlytoyouthen."

"Idon'tbelieveshe'llkillSimpkins."

"Shewillifshemarrieshim.NotthatSimpkinsisaparticularlyobjectionablemaninmyopinion.Iratherlikehimmyself.ButMissKinglivesforherart,andonceSimpkinsproposestoherhisfateissealed."

"Shedidmentionherartonceortwice,"saidtheMajor."Nowthatyouremindmeofit,Idistinctlyrecollecthersayingthatitwasthe

greatthinginherlife."

"Thereyouarethen.Perhapsnowyou'llbelievemeforthefuture,andnotbestartingmiserable,scepticalobjectionstoeverywordIsay.Whatdidyousaywhenshetalkedtoyouaboutherart?Didyoucross-questionheraboutwhatitwas?"

"No,Ididn't.Iwasn'tthinkingofyourabsurdtheorieswhenIwastalkingtoher.Ithoughtshemeantpainting,orsomethingofthatsort.Ifeltsorryforher,J.J.Sheseemstometohaveaverylonelykindoflife."

"Ofcourseshedoes--intheintervals."

"What?"

"Thereareintervals,ofcourse.MissKingisn'tthesortofwomantoformanintimacywithanothermanuntilsheisreallyawidow.It'squitenaturalthatsheshouldfeellonelyjustnow,forinstance.Themereabsenceoftheexcitementshe'sbeenaccustomedtoforsolongwouldhaveadepressingeffectonher."

CHAPTERXI.

Meldonwasamanwholikedtogetthefullpossiblemeasureofenjoymentoutofhisholidays.Hecountedthehoursofdaylightwhichhespentinbedaswasted,andalthoughalwayslateforbreakfast,wasgenerallyupandactivebeforeanyothermemberoftheMajor'shousehold.OnMondaymorninghegotoutofbedathalf-pastfiveandwentdowntotheseatobathe.Heworenothingexcepthispyjamasandanoldpairofcanvasshoes,andsowasobligedtogobacktohisbedroomagainafterhisswim.AshepassedMajorKent'sdoorhehammeredvigorouslyonitwithhisfist.Whenhethoughthehadmade



noiseenoughtoawakenhisfriend,heturnedthehandleofthedoor,puthisheadintotheroom,andshouted,--

"Splendidday.Absolutelythebestpossible;first-ratesailingbreeze,andnoprospectofrain."

MajorKentgrowledinreply.

"What'sthatyousay?"

"Confoundyou,J.J.Getoutofthat.What'sthegoodofwakingmeatthishour?"

Meldonopenedthedooralittlewiderandsteppedintotheroom.

"Ithoughtyou'dliketoknowabouttheweather,"hesaid."It'sextremelyimportantforustosecureareallyfirst-rateday.Ifitturnedoutthatwecoulddonothingbutlollopabouthalfamilefromtheshoreinadeadcalm,poorSimpkinswouldn'thaveachance;orif--"

"Goaway,J.J."

"Andifitweretocomeonadownpourofrain,hisspiritswouldbesodampedthathe'dnevergethimselfworkeduptothepitchof--"

"IsupposeImayaswellgetup,"saidtheMajordespairingly.

"Nottheleastnecessityforthat,"saidMeldon."Youcansleepforanotherhourandahalfatleast.Itcan'tbemorethanhalf-pastsix,andallowingtimeforthemostelaboratetoiletyoucanpossiblywanttomake,youneedn'tgetuptilleight.Ishouldsaymyselfthatyou'dsleepmuchmorecomfortablynowyouknowthatthedayisgoingtobefine.Nothinginterfereswithslumbermoreradicallythananyanxietyofmind."

TheweatherwasallthatMeldonsaiditwas;buthissatisfactionwithitturnedouttobeill-founded.Itwasbasedonamiscalculation.

Whatseemedtohimadesirablesailingbreezewasacauseofgravediscomforttohalftheparty.

Simpkinsbegantogivewayinlessthananhour.Heyawned,pulledhimselftogether,andthenyawnedagain.Afterthatheceasedtotakeanyactivepartintheconversation.ThenMissKingbegantolosecolour.Meldon,whowassittingforwardwithhislegsdanglingoverthecombingofthecockpit,winkedatMajorKent.TheMajor,uncomfortablyawareofthefeelingsofhisguests,scowledatMeldon.Thenearestislandonwhichitwaspossibletolandwasstillsomewayoff.Heforesawaperiodofextremeunpleasantness.Meldonwinkedagain,andmouthedtheword"IlaunMore"silently.Itwasthenameofthenearestisland,andhemeanttosuggesttotheMajorthatitwould

beverydesirabletogonofurther.Hemight,withoutgivingoffence,havesaidallhewantedtosayoutloud.Simpkinshadreachedastageofhismaladyinwhichitwasimpossibleforhimtolistenintelligentlytoanything,andMissKingwouldhaverejoicedtohearofaprospectoffirmland.

TheSpindrift,whichhadbeenthrashingherwayintotheteethofthewind,wasallowedtogofree,andreachedswiftlytowardsIlaunMore.ThechangeofmotioncompletelyfinishedSimpkins,buttheperiodofhisextrememiserywasshort.Theyachtroundedupintothewindina



shelteredbay,andMeldonletgotheanchor.Theboom,swingingrapidlyfromsidetoside,sweptSimpkins'hat(astiff-brimmedstrawhat)intothesea.Hemadenoefforttosaveit;buttheMajor,grabbingtheboat-hook,gotholdofitjustbeforeitfloatedbeyondreach,anddrewit,waterloggedandlimp,intotheboat.Simpkinsexpressednogratitude.Meldonhauledthepuntalongside,andaskedMissKingifshewouldliketogoashore.Sheassentedwithafeeblesmile.TherewasnouseconsultingSimpkins.Hiswishesweretakenforgranted,andhewasdeposited,withgreatdifficulty,inthebowofthepunt.Meldonrowedthemashore.HegavehisarmtoMissKingandledheruptoadryrock,onwhichshesatdown.Hewentbacktothepuntagain,straightenedoutSimpkins,hauledhimup,andsethimdownbesideMissKing.ThenherowedbacktotheSpindriftinthepunt.

"This,"saidtheMajorangrily,"isanicekindofparty.Youmighthavehadmoresense,J.J.,thantoinvitepeopleofthatsortoutintheSpindrift."

"You'reveryunreasonable,"saidMeldon."Ithoughtyou'dhavefoundthekeenestdelightinwatchingthesufferingsofSimpkins.IfIhadanenemyintheworld--I'mthankfultosayIhaven't--butifIhad,there'snothingwouldgivemegreaterpleasurethantoseehimenduringtheagonythatSimpkinshasjustbeenthrough.Butthat'stheworstofyou.Iarrangetheselittlesurprisesforyou,hopingtoseeyourface

lightupwithasmileofgratification,andallIgetinreturnisgrowlsandgrumbles."

MajorKentgrinned.

"That'sbetter,"saidMeldon."I'mgladtoseethatyou'recapableofgettingsomegoodoutofaninnocentpleasure,evenifyouhavetowaittillsomebodypointsouttoyouwhatitisyououghttoenjoy."

"Anyway,J.J.,thiswillputastopperonyourplan.There'llbenolove-makingto-day."

"Onthecontrary,"saidMeldon,"Iexpectwe'velaidthefoundationof

adeepandenduringaffection.There'snothingdrawspeopletogethermorethanacommonmisfortune."

"Butyoucan'texpectawomantotaketoamanwhensheseeshiminthestateSimpkinswasinwhenwewereonthereachtowardstheisland."

"Notifshe'sallrightherself,"saidMeldon;"butwhenshe'sinthestateMissKingwasinshe'spastnoticinganybody'scomplexion.TheonlyemotionMissKingcouldpossiblyhavefelt,theonlyemotionofaspiritualkind,wasabitterhatredofyouandme;andthat,ofcourse,wouldmakeherfeelastrongaffectionforSimpkins.Onthewhole,Major,wemaycongratulateourselvesonoursuccesssofar.Justputtheluncheonbasketintothepunt,willyou?They'llbeashungryas

wolvesinanotherhalf-hour.Simpkinsisbeginningtobuckupalready.Lookathim."

Simpkinswasstaggeringtowardshishat,whichMeldonhadleftlyingattheplacewherethepuntlanded.

"Iexpect,"saidtheMajor,"thathefeelsasifthesunonthebackofhisheadwouldupsethimagain.Itmustbeprettyhotintherewherethey'reshelteredfromthewind."



"We'llgivehimadropofwhisky,"saidMeldon,"andsethimonhisfeetproperly.Getin,Major."

"I'mnotatallsurethatI'mgoingashore.IthinkI'dbemorecomfortablewhereIam.Simpkinsisbadenoughwhenhe'shealthy,butintheconditionhe'sinnowIsimplycouldn'tstandhimatall.Besides,Idon'tthinkMissKingwouldlikeustoland.Itdoesn'tseemtomequitefairtogospyingonawomanwhenshe'ssick.She'dratherbeleftaloneforawhile,tillsherecoversherordinarycolour.Ifeltverysorryforherontheboat,andifIcouldhavedoneanything--"

"Thatsortofsympathyanddelicacyoffeelingisallveryfine,Major;butItellyouplainlythatifitleadstoyourrefusingtogivethepoorgirlanylunchshewon'tappreciateit."

"Couldn'tyoulandtheluncheonbasketandthencomebackhere?"

"Certainlynot.ThenIshouldgetnoluncheon.Idon'tshrinkfromsacrificeinagoodcause,Major,wheneversacrificeisnecessary;butIseenopointinstarvingmyselfmerelytosatisfyyourridiculousideasofchivalry."

"Well,then,yougoandgivethemtheirlunch,andleavemehere."

"That'stheworstplanyou'vesuggestedyet,"saidMeldon."IfIgowithoutyouIshallbeadamperonthewholeproceedings.Athirdpersonontheseoccasionsalwaysfindsthegreatestdifficultyinnotbeingintheway,whereasifyoucomewecanstrollofftogetherafterlunchunderpretextofsearchingforlobstersorsomethingofthatkind,andleavethehappycoupletogether."

"Happycouple!"saidtheMajor."Theylookit."

"Getintothepuntatonce,"saidMeldon,"anddon'ttrytobesarcastic.Nothingislessbecomingtoyou.Yourproperpartinlifeisthatofthesober,well-intentioned,somewhatthick-headed,bachelor

uncle.Youdothatexcellently;butthemomentyoutrytobecleveryougiveyourselfawaypiteously."

"Yourownpart,Isuppose,J.J.,isthatofirresponsiblebuffoon."

"No;it'snot.WhatIdobestisjustwhatI'mdoing--arrangingthingsforotherpeople,sothatdifficultiesandunpleasantnessdisappear,andlifelooksbrightagain."

MajorKenthadprovidedanexcellentluncheonfortheparty,andMissKinghadrevivedrapidlysinceshelanded.Sheallowedherselftobepersuadedtodrinksomeweakwhiskyandwater.Afterwardssheatecoldchickenwithagoodappetite.PoorSimpkinswaslessfortunate.He

insistedonwearinghisdamphat,andcouldnotbepersuadedtoeatanythingexceptbiscuits.Meldon,whowasmostanxioustorestorehimtoaconditionofvigour,pressedatomatoonhim;buttheresultwasunfortunate.Aftereatinghalfofit,Simpkinsturnedhisbackevenonthebiscuittin.Herefusedtosmokeafterlunch,althoughtheMajorandMeldonlittheirpipesinanencouragingwayquiteclosetohim,andMissKingappearedtofindpleasureinacigarette.Thesituationwasnotpromising;butMeldonwasamanofunquenchablehope.SeizingamomentwhenMissKingwaslookinginanotherdirection,hewinkedviolentlyatMajorKent.TheMajorwasextremelycomfortablyseated



withhisbackagainstarock,andwasenjoyinghimself.TheSpindriftlaysecureatheranchor.Thesunshonepleasantly.Anafterluncheonpipeisaparticularlyenjoyableone,andMissKingwastalkinginaverycharmingway,besideslookingpretty.TheMajorwasdisinclinedtomove,andalthoughheguessedatthemeaningofMeldon'swink,hedeliberatelyignoredit.Meldonwinkedagain.Thenherosetohisfeet,shookhimself,andlookedroundhim.

"Ithink,Major,"hesaid,"thatifwemeantocatchanylobstersto-day,weoughttobestarting."

TheMajorgrunted.

"Lobsters!Canwecatchlobstershere?"saidMissKing."Ishouldliketohelp.Ihavenevercaughtalobster."

"It'snotexactlyasportforladies,"saidMeldon."Thelobsterisanuglyfishtotackleunlessyouareaccustomedtohim.Besides,weshallhavetotakeoffourshoesandstockings."

"ButIonlymeantolookon.Ishouldn'trunanyrisks."

Shehadinhermindatthemomentasceneinhernewnovelintowhichlobsterfishing,aspractisedinthewestofIreland,mightbe

introducedwithgreateffect.Theideathattherewassomeriskaboutthesportaddedtoitsvalueforherpurpose.Sheforesawthepossibilityofvividlypicturesquedescriptionsofbare-limbed,sun-tannedmuscularfolkplungingamongweedyrocks,orspatteredwithyellowspume,staggeringshorewardsunderaloadofcapturedlobsters.ButMeldonwasmostunsympathetic.

"Besides,"hesaid,"thechiefhauntofthelobstersisattheothersideoftheisland,quitealongwayoff."

"Ishouldlikethewalk,"saidMissKing,"andI'msurethere'sacharmingview."

"It'sveryrough,"saidMeldon,"andyou'dgetyourfeetwet."

HenudgedtheMajorashespoke.Itdidnotseemfairthatthemakingofalltheexcusesshouldbelefttohim.

"Ireallybelieve,"saidMissKing,"thatyoudon'twantmetogowithyou,Mr.Meldon.It'smostunkindofyou.I'mbeginningtothinkthatyoudon'tlikeme.Yousaidsomethingquiterudetometheotherday,andIdon'tbelievehalfyou'resayingtomenow.--It'snotdangeroustocatchlobsters,isit,MajorKent?"

TheMajorfeltMeldon'seyeonhim.HewasalsoawarethatMissKingwaslookingathimappealingly.

"No,"hesaid;"atleast,notvery;notifyou'recarefulaboutthewayyoutakeholdofthem."

"AndIshouldn'tgetmyfeetwet,shouldI?notverywet?"

"No,"saidtheMajor,"oryoumight,ofcourse.There'sasortofpoolattheothersideoftheisland,andifyouwalkedthroughit--;butthenyoucouldgoroundit."



"Therenow,"saidMissKing."Iknewyouwereonlymakingexcuses,Mr.Meldon."

"Iwas,"saidMeldon."ImayaswellownuptoitthatIwas.Myrealreasonfornotwishingyoutocomewithus--"

HeedgedovertowhereSimpkinswassitting,andkickedhimsharplyintheribs.Itwas,afterall,Simpkins'businesstomakesomeefforttoretainMissKing.

"Myrealreason,"hesaid,"thoughIdidn'tliketomentionitbefore,isthatthere'sadeadsheepontheothersideoftheisland,justabovethelobsterbed.It'sagooddealdecayed,andthesea-gullshavebeenpickingatit."

MissKingshuddered.

"Isthereadeadsheep,MajorKent?"sheasked.

"Idon'tknow,"saidtheMajor."Ihaven'tbeenonthisislandforyears;andIdon'tbelieveyouhaveeither,J.J."

"Dr.O'Donoghuetoldmeaboutityesterday,"saidMeldon."Hesaiditwasamostdisgustingsight.Idon'tthinkyou'dlikeit,MissKing.

Idon'tliketellingyouaboutit.I'msureaglanceatitwouldupsetyouagain--afterthismorning,youknow."

MissKingwasevidentlyannoyedbythisallusiontoherseasickness,butshewasnotinclinedtogiveupherwalk.

"Couldn'twegosomewhereelseforlobsters,"shesaid;"somewhereagoodwayofffromthedeadsheep?"

"No,"saidMeldondecisively."Weshouldn'tcatchanyifwedid.Allthelobsters,asyoucaneasilyunderstand,willhavecollectednearthedeadsheep.It'sagreatfindforthem,youknow,aswellasforthesea-gulls."

"Inanycase,"saidMissKing,whofeltthatshecouldnotwithdecencypresshercompanyonMeldonanymore,"I'dratherstaywhereIam.Idon'tthinkIcareforcrossingtheislandafterall."

MeldonkickedSimpkinsagain.ThenhetookMajorKentbythearm,draggedhimtohisfeet,andsetoffatarapidpaceacrosstheisland.

"J.J.,"saidtheMajor,"theseplansofyoursareallverywell,andofcourseI'mnotgoingtointerferewiththem,butIdon'tseeanynecessityforbeingactuallyrudetoMissKing.Shestrikesmeasbeingaverynicegirl."

"IamdisappointedinMissKing,"saidMeldon."Ithoughtbetterofherbefore.She'snotwhatIcallwomanly,andIhatetheseunsexedfemales."

"Whatdoyoumean?Isupposeyouthinkshehadnorighttotryandforceherselfonus,butIthought--"

"I'mnotcomplainingofthatintheleast,"saidMeldon."Thatwasquitenatural,andnotatallwhatIcallunwomanly.Infact,mostwomenwouldhaveactedjustasshedidinthatrespect.WhatIwas



thinkingofwasthosefamouslinesofSirWalterScott's.YourecollecttheonesImean,Isuppose?"

"No;Idon't."

"'Ohwoman,'"saidMeldon,"'inourhoursofease'--that'snow,Major,sofaraswe'reconcerned--'uncertain,coy,andhardtoplease.'That'swhatMissKingoughttohavebeen,butwasn't.Nobodycansayshewascoyaboutthelobsters.'Whenpainandanguishwringthebrow.'That'sthepositioninwhichSimpkinsfindshimself.'Aministeringangelthou.'That'swhatMissKingshouldbeifshe'swhatIcallatruewoman,awomanlywoman.Butsheevidentlyisn't.Shehasn'tthematernalinstinctatallstronglydeveloped.Ifshehad,herheartwouldbleedforahelpless,unprotectedcreaturelikeSimpkins,whosebrowisbeingwrungwiththemostpitiableanguish."

"Doyoumeantosay,"saidtheMajor,"thatyouthinksheoughttotakeapleasureinholdingthatbeastSimpkins'head?"

"That,thoughyouputitcoarsely,isexactlywhatIdomean.Anytruewomanwould.SirWalterScottdistinctlysaysso."

"Consideringwhatyoubelieveabouther--ImeanallthataboutherandMrs.Lorimerbeingthesameperson,andherwantingtokillSimpkins--I

don'tseehowyoucanexpecthertobewhatyoucallwomanly."

"Thereyou'rewrong,Major;quitewrong,asusual.There'snoreasonintheworldwhyawomanshouldn'tbewomanlyjustbecauseshehappenstoholdratheradvancedopinionsonsomeethicalsubjects.Asamatteroffact,itcameoutinthetrialthatMrs.Lorimerwasdevotedlyattentivetoherhusband,herlasthusband,duringhisillness.Shewatchedhimdayandnight,andwouldn'tallowanyoneelsetobringhimhismedicine.Inaturallythoughtshe'ddisplaythesamespiritwithregardtoSimpkins.Ihopeshewillafterthey'remarried;butI'mdisappointedinherjustatpresent."

"Whatareyougoingtodoaboutthelobsters,J.J.?"saidtheMajor,

droppingthesubjectofMissKing'scharacter."Youknowverywellthattherearenoneontheisland,andafterallyousaidabouttheirswarmingaboutinalobsterbed,MissKingwillnaturallyexpectustobringherbackafew."

"No,shewon't.Notwhensheknowsthatthey'vebeenfeedingonthedisgustingandhalf-decayeddeadsheep.She'dhatetoseeone."

"Whatmadeyouthinkofsayingtherewasadeadsheep,J.J.?"

"Ihadtothinkofsomething,"saidMeldon,"orelseshe'dhavecomewithus.YoucontradictedeverywordIsaid,andgavetheshowaway,althoughyouknewverywelltheextremeimportanceofgivingSimpkins

hischance."

"Idon'tthinkhelookedmuchliketakingitwhenweleft."

"No,hedidn't.Amorehelpless,incompetentidiotthanSimpkinsInevercameacross.Hewon'tdoasinglethingtohelphimself.Isupposeheexpectsmeto--I'lltellyouwhatitis,Major;IhadsomeregardforSimpkinsbeforeto-day,butI'mbeginningtoagreewithyouandDoyleabouthimnow."



"Thenperhapsyou'llstoptryingtogethimtomarryMissKing."

"No,Iwon't.Mycomingroundtoyourwayofthinkingisallthemorereasonformarryinghim.AslongasIhadanyregardforhimIfeltitwasratherapitytohavehimkilled,andIwasonlydoingittopleaseyou.NowthatIseehereallydoesn'tdeservetoliveIcangoonwithaperfectlyclearconscience."

"Anyway,"saidtheMajor,"Idon'tbelievethathe'lldomuchlove-makingto-day."

"Don'tbetoosureofthat.IfMissKingisbehavingnowassheoughttobe;ifshehastakenthatwethatoffhisheadandstoppeditwringinghisbrow;if,asIconfidentlyexpect,sheisshowingherselfaministeringangel,weshallmostlikelyfindthemsittinginamostaffectionateattitudewhenwegetback."

MissKingdidnotdoherduty.WhenMeldonandMajorKentreturned,lobsterless,afterhalfanhour'sabsence,theyfoundMr.Simpkinssittingonastonebyhimselfwiththewethatstillonhishead.MissKingwasalongwayoff,stumblingaboutamongthestonesatthewater'sedge.Shemay,perhaps,havebeentryingtocatchlobsters.

ThevoyagehomewasmostunpleasantforeveryoneexceptMeldon.The

windhadrisenslightlysincemorning,andthemotionoftheyachtinrunningbeforeitwasverytrying.Mr.SimpkinscollapsedatonceandwasdraggedbyMeldonintothecabin,wherehelayinspeechlessmisery.MissKingheldoutbravelyforsometime,andthengavewaysuddenly.MajorKent,watchingher,wasveryunhappy,anddidnotdaretosmokelestheshouldmakeherworse.Heattemptedatonetimetowrapherinanoilskincoat,thinkingthatadditionalwarmthmightbegoodforher;butthesmellofthegarmentbroughtonaviolentspasm,andhewasobligedtotakeitawayfromhershoulders.

Intheevening,afterMissKingandMr.Simpkinshadbeensenthomeonacar,Meldonreviewedtheday'sproceedings.

"Asapleasureparty,"hesaid,"itwasn'texactlyasuccess;butthenwedidn'tgooutforpleasure.ConsideredasastepinadvancetowardsthemarriageofMissKingandthedeathofSimpkins,ithasn'tturnedoutallwehoped.StillIthinksomethingisaccomplished.MissKingmust,Ithink,havefeltsomepityforSimpkinswhenshesawmedragginghimintothecabinbyhisleg,andweallknowthatpityisakinto--"

"Ifshethinksofhiminthatsortofway,"saidtheMajor,"shewon'tkillhim."

"I'vetoldyoubefore,"saidMeldon--"infact,I'mtiredtellingyou--thatshehasn'tgottokillhimuntilaftershe'smarriedhim.

Youdon'tsurelywanthertobeguiltyofoneofthosecold-blooded,lovelessmarriageswhicharethecurseofmodernsocietyandendinthedivorcecourt.Sheoughttohavesomefeelingofaffectionforhimbeforeshemarrieshim,andIthinkitisprobablyarousedinhernow.NowomancouldpossiblyseeamantreatedasItreatedSimpkinsthisafternoonwithoutfeelingalittlesorryforhim.IbumpedhisheadinthemostfrightfulmannerwhenIwasdragginghimdown.No;Ithinkit'sallrightnowasfarasMissKingisconcerned.I'llgoinandseeSimpkinsto-morrowandspurhimonabit.I'lltellhim--"



"Somelieorother--"saidtheMajor.

"Onlyforhisowngood,"saidMeldon."IsawquiteplainlyonSundaythathewantedtomarryMissKing,andwhateverIsayto-morrowwillbecalculatedtohelpandencouragehim.Youcan'tcallthatkindofthingtellinglies.It'sexactlythesameinprincipleaswhyagooddoctortriestocheerupapatientbysayingthathe'llbeperfectlywellintheinsideofaweekafteratriflingoperation.Everybodyadmitsthatthat'sperfectlyright,andnobodybutafoolwouldcallitalie."

CHAPTERXII.

Meldonwasevenmoreenergeticthanusualonthemorningaftertheboatingpicnic.Bygettingupveryearlyindeedhewasabletoshootfourrabbits,membersofalargefamilywhichlivedbydestroyingMajorKent'slettuces.Healsobaggedtwowood-pigeonswhichhadflownallthewayfromtheBallymoyHousetreesforthepurposeofgorgingthemselvesonhalf-ripegooseberriesintheMajor'sgarden.Hethenrowedoutintheboataboutamilefromtheshore,andhadthesatisfactionofbathinginabsolutesolitudeanddivingasfarashe

couldintodeepwater.Hehad,aswasnatural,afineappetiteforbreakfast,andateinawaywhichgratifiedMajorKentandafterwardsstartledhishousekeeper.Butnaturetakesherrevengesevenonthosewhoseembestabletodefyher.AfterbreakfastMeldonsettledhimselfinacomfortablechaironthelawn,andwasdisinclinedtomovefromit.TheMajorwentintohisstudytomakeupsomeaccounts,andthedaybeingfineandwarm,satbesideanopenwindow.Meldon'schairwasonlyashortdistancefromthewindow,sothathewasinapositiontocarryonaconversationwithoutraisinghisvoice.Forsometimehedidnotspeak,forhismorningpipewasparticularlyenjoyable.Thenhefeltitnecessarytomakesomeexcuseforhisidleness.

"There'snouse,"hesaid,"mystartingbeforeeleven.Simpkinswon't

beoutofbeduntillateto-day.He'llbethoroughlyexhaustedafterallhewentthroughontheSpindrift."

"Startanytimeyoulike,"saidtheMajor.

Meldon'sremarkinterruptedhiminthemiddleofaddingupalongcolumnofpence.Hefailedtorecollectwherehehadgottoandwasobligedtobeginoveragain.

"Icanhavethetrap,Isuppose,"saidMeldon,acoupleofminuteslater.

MajorKenthadgottotheshillingscolumn.

"Yes.Butdostoptalking."

"Why?"saidMeldon."Withoutconversationwemightaswellbelivingintotalsolitude;andBaconsays,inoneofhisessays,thatsolitudeisonlyfitforagodorabeast.Youmaylikebeingabeast,Major,butIdon't.You'llhardlysetup,Isuppose,tobeagod."

"Hangitall,J.J.!I'veforgottenhowmanyshillingsIhadtocarry,andnowIshallhavetobeginthewholetotoveragain."



"Handitouttome,"saidMeldon,"andI'llsettlethewholethingforyouintwominutes."

"Certainlynot,"saidtheMajor."Iknowyourwayofdealingwithaccountbooks.Imaybeslow,butIdoliketobetidy."

"Verywell,"saidMeldon,"ifyouchoosetobeunsociable,merelyinordertogiveyourselfalotofquiteunnecessarytrouble,ofcourseyoucan.Iwon'tspeakagain."

Tenminuteslaterhedidspeakagain,tothegreatannoyanceofMajorKent,whowasestimatingthetotalcostofthehayeatenbyhispoloponiesduringtheyear--amostintricatebusiness,forhayvariedagooddealinprice.

"Doyle'scomingalongtheroadinhistrap,"saidMeldon,"andhelookstomeverymuchasifhewascominghere.Hemustwanttoseeyouaboutsomething.Hecan'tpossiblyhaveanybusinesswithme."

"HangDoyle!"

"Ifyoulike,"saidMeldon,"I'lldealwithhimandkeephimoffyou.IshouldratherenjoyachatwithDoyle."

"Thanks.Iwishyouwould.Itcan'tbeanythingimportant."

"IexpecthehascomeforyoursubscriptionfortheilluminatedaddressheandDr.O'Donoghuearegettingupforthepolicesergeant.Ipromisedtheotherdaythatyou'dgivesomething.Ifyousignachequeandstickitoutonthewindow-sill,I'llfilluptheamountandhanditontoDoyle.Ishouldsaythatonepoundwouldbeahandsomecontribution,andImaygetyouoffwithtenshillings.It'llalldependonhowthemoneyiscomingin.He'sturninginatthegatenow,soyou'dbetterhurryup.--Ah!Goodmorning,Doyle.Lovelyday,isn'tit?SeenanythingofourfriendSimpkinsthismorning?"

"Ihavenot,"saidDoyle,"andIdon'twantto.Iwouldn'tcareifIneverseteyesonthatfellowagain."

"You'dhavelikedtohaveseenhimyesterday,"saidMeldon.

"Iwouldnot."

"Youwould.TheMajorhadhimoutforadayintheSpindrift,and--"Meldonwinked.

Doylegotdownfromhistrapandstoodatthehorse'shead.

"Asickerman,"saidMeldon,"youneversaw."

"Sick!"

"Asadog.Beastlysick.Idon'tcaretoenterintodetails;but,consideringthesmallamountheateduringtheday,thewayhekeptatitwouldhavesurprisedyou."

"Sick!What'sthegoodofbeingsick?Whydidn'tyoudrownhim?"

"WehadMissKingouttoo,"saidMeldon,"andwedidn'twanttodrown



her.Besides,itwasn'tthekindofdayinwhichyoucouldverywelldrownanyone."

"Whatbroughtmeoverherethismorning,"saidDoyle,"was--"

"Iknow,"saidMeldon."YouwanttogatherintheMajor'ssubscriptiontotheilluminatedaddresswiththeappletreesinthecorners.Youshallhaveit.He'ssigningthechequethisminute."

"I'lltakeit,ofcourse,"saidDoyle,"ifit'squiteconvenienttotheMajor;butitwasn'titIcamefor."

"Whatwasit,then?IfyouhaveanyideaofdraggingtheMajorintothatsalmonambuscadeofO'Donoghue's,ItellyouplainlyIwon'thaveit."

"It'snothingofthekind,"saidDoyle."AfterwhatyousaidonFridaywegavethatnotionup.Whatbroughtmehereto-daywastoseeiftheMajorwouldlendmeasetofcarcushions.TheratsgotinontheonesIhaveofmyown,andthey'veholesateinthemsoasyou'dbeashamedtoputthemonacar."

"Youshallhavethemwiththegreatestpossiblepleasure,"saidMeldon.

"Notthenewones,"saidtheMajorthroughthewindow.

"Ithought,"saidMeldon;"thatyoudidn'twanttobedisturbed,andthatIwascarryingonthisnegotiationwithMr.Doyle.Youmustdoonethingortheother,Major.Eithercomeoutandmanageyourownaffairs,orelseleavethementirelyinmyhands.--Youcan't,"hesaid,turningtoDoyle,"havethenewcushionsunlessforsomeveryspecialpurpose.IsMissKingthinkingofgoingforadriveonyourcar?Ifsheis,theMajorwilllendthenewcushions."

"Sheisnot,"saidDoyle;"notthatIheardofanyway,thoughshemighttakethenotionlater."

"Thenwhatdoyouwantthecushionsfor?"

"It'sanEnglishgentleman,"saidDoyle;"ahigh-upmanbyallaccounts,thathasthefishingtookfromSimpkins.He'llbestoppinginthehotel,andhe'llwantthecartotakehimuptheriverinthemorning.Thekindofmanheis,Iwouldn'tliketobeputtinghimoffwithmyoldcushions.They'reterriblebad,thewaytheratshasthemateonme."

"Ifhereallyisamanofeminenceinanywalkoflife,"saidMeldon--"abishop,forinstance,oramemberoftheHouseofLords,oracaptainofindustry,youcanhavethecushions.Ifhe'ssimplyasecond-ratemanoftheordinarytouristtype,youcan't."

"He'sajudge,"saidDoyle,"andwhat'smore,anEnglishjudge."

"I'msurprisedtohearyousayingathinglikethat.AsaNationalistyououghttobethelasttoadmitthatanEnglishjudgeisinanywaysuperiortoanIrishone.Hemaybebetterpaid--Idaresayheisbetterpaid,forwenevergetourfairshareofwhat'sgoing--butinthethingsthatreallymatter--inlegalacumen,forinstance,whichisthegreatthingwelookforinjudges--Idon'texpecttheIrishmanisabitbehind.However,EnglishorIrish,themerefactofhisbeinga



judgedoesn'tprovethathe'samanofwhatIcallrealeminence.Idon'tthinktheMajorwillletyouhavehisbestcarcushionsforsomesleepyoldgentlemanwhositsonabenchandmakessillyjokes.Therearelotsofjudgesknockingaboutthatrat-eatencarcushionswouldbetoogoodfor.What'syourman'sname?"

"Hawkesby,"saidDoyle."SirGilbertHawkesby,noless."

Meldonstartedfromhischair.

"Areyousureofthat?"heasked,"absolutelydeadcertain?Thisisabusinessoverwhichitwon'tdotomakemistakes."

"It'swhatwasinhisletter,anyway,"saidDoyle,"whenhewroteengagingroomsinthehotel."

"Whendoeshearrive?"

"To-morrow,"saidDoyle;"to-morrowafternoon,andItoldSabinatokillachickento-day,forit'slikelyhe'llbewantingabitofdinnerafterthedriveoverfromDonard.Ithoughtifhehadachickenandabitofboiledbacon,withacustardpuddingafterthat--"

"Gointothecoach-houseatonce,"saidMeldon,"andtakeanycushions

youwant.Ican'ttalkanymoretoyouthismorning.I'mgoingtobefrightfullybusy."

Doyle,grinningbroadly,ledhishorseroundtotheyard.HedidnotbelievethatMeldonwaseverbusy.Likemostpeoplehefailedtoappreciatetherealgreatnessoftheclergyman.

Meldonhurriedintothehouseandflungopenthedoorofthestudy.MajorKentlookedupfromhispaperswithawearysmile.

"Couldn'tyouandDoylesettlethatbusinessofthecarcushionsbetweenyou?IshallnevergettheseaccountsdoneifI'minterruptedeveryminute."

"Wecouldhavesettledit,"saidMeldon."Infactwehavesettledit,butaquestionofvastlygreaterimportancehasarisen.Wearethreatenedwithsomethinglikeanactualcatastrophe."

"Ifit'sthekindofcatastrophewhichinvolvesanhourorsoofsolidtalk,J.J.,don'tyouthinkyoucouldmanagetoputitoffforalittle?Ishallbequitereadytogointoitatanylengthyoulikethiseveningafterdinner."

"Major,"saidMeldon,"ifanearthquakecame--thekindofearthquakewhichknocksdownhouses--andifthunderboltswerefallingred-hotoutofthesky,andifalargetidalwavewasrushingupacrossthelawn,

andifamovingbogwasdesolatingyourkitchengardenandengulfingyourpoloponies,wouldyouorwouldyounotsitcalmlythereandgoonwithyouraccounts?"

"IfallthosethingswerehappeningI'dmove,ofcourse."

"There'sno'ofcourse'aboutit.Somemenwouldn't."

"Nonsense,J.J.Thetidalwavealone--"



"Somemen,"repeatedMeldon,"wouldsitonandfinishtheiraccounts.TherewasasoldieratPompeii,forinstance--theyfoundhisbodycenturiesafterwards--whowouldn'tstirfromhispostevenwhenhesawthemoltenlavaflowingdownthestreet.Ithoughtyoumightbethatsortofman."

"I'mnot."

"I'mgladtohearit.Thatsentryhasbeenmadeaheroof.I'vefrequentlyheardhimmentionedinsermonsasapersontobeimitated.Inrealityhewastheworstkindofass;andIwouldn'tliketothinkofyourgettingembalmedashedid,andbeingdugoutafterwardsbyanantiquarywithachisel.ForthematterofthatIshouldn'tcaretohearofpeoplewritingodesaboutyouonaccountofyourgoingunderwhileyourswordwasinitssheathandyourfingersheldthepen."

"Whatwashedoingwiththepen?"saidtheMajor."Ifhewasonsentryduty--"

"Itwasn'tthatsentrywhosefingersheldthepen,butbraveKempenfelt,anothermanofthesamesort;thoughtherewasmoreexcuseforhim,becauseheseemstohavebeentakenbysurprisewhenthelandbreezeshooktheshrouds."

"Idon'tintheleastknowwhatyou'retalkingabout,"saidtheMajor."Isthereamovingbog,orahightide,oranythingunusual?"

"There'ssomethingagreatdealworse,"saidMeldon."DidyouhearwhatDoylesaidtomeafewminutesago?"

"Iheardhimaskingfortheloanofmycarcushions.Idon'tparticularlywanttolendthem,butIshouldn'tregardhisgettingthemasacatastropheatalltobecomparedtotheearthquakeandalltheotherthingsyouweregassingabout."

"Thecushionsinthemselvesarenothing,andlessthannothing,butdidyouhearwhohewantsthemfor?"

"Somejudgeorother,wasn'tit?Salmonfishing."

"Somejudge!Whatjudge?"

"Didhementionhisname?IfhedidIhaveforgottenit."

"Hedidmentionit,"saidMeldon."ItwasHawkesby--SirGilbertHawkesby.NowdoyouseewhyIsaythatwearethreatenedwithadisasterworsethantheeruptionofMountVesuviusorthefireandbrimstonethatoverwhelmedSodomandGomorrah?"

"No,Idon'tseeanythingofthesort.Whatonearthdoesthejudge

mattertous?"

"Canyoupossiblybeignorantofthefact?No,youcan't,forItoldittoyoumyself.CanyoupossiblyhaveforgottenthatSirGilbertHawkesbywasthejudgewhotriedMrs.Lorimerforthemurderofherhusband?"

"Oh!"saidtheMajor,"Ihadforgotten.Inevertookthesameinterestinthatcasethatyoudid,J.J."



"Well,hewas.Hewastheveryjudgewhosummedupsostronglyagainstthepoorwoman.IsupposenowitwillhardlybenecessaryformetoexplainhowhisarrivalatDoyle'shotelislikelytoaffectourplans?"

"DoyouwantmetoinvitehimoutintheSpindrift?Ifso,Ihopetogoodnesshewon'tbesick.Ihadenoughofthatyesterday."

"Isometimesthink,Major,thatyoupretendtobestupidsimplytoannoyme.Don'tyouseethatsoonerorlaterhe'sboundtocomeacrossMissKing?He'llseehernextSundayinchurch,ifhedoesn'tmeethersooner.He'llrecogniseheratonce.Thetrialoccupiedtendays,andduringthewholeofthattimeshewasstandingoppositetohimandhewasstudyingherface.Hecan'tfailtoknowheragainwhenheseesher.Now,recollectthathebelievedinherguilt.Ipointedouttoyouatthetimethathesummedupdeadagainsther--"

"Idon'tbelieveshewasguilty,J.J."

"Nor,apparently,didthejury,"saidMeldon."Butthejudgedid.That'sthepointtobearinmind.Underthecircumstances,whatishelikelytodo?HefindsMrs.LorimerheremasqueradingasMissKing,and--"

"Iwishyouwouldn'tsaythingslikethat.SinceIhavemetMissKing

I'mlessinclinedthanevertobelieveinthatidentificationofyours.Shestrikesme--"

"Wearenowconsideringhowshewillstrikethejudge,"saidMeldon,"andhowhe'slikelytoact.Itseemstomethere'sonlyonethinghecando,andthatiswarneverymarriageablemanintheneighbourhoodofMissKing'srealcharacterandpastrecord,andthenwhatwillhappentoyourplan?WillSimpkinsbepreparedtomarryher?Certainlynot."

"Well,I'mextremelygladthejudgeiscomingifheputsastoptothewayyou'regoingon."

"I'mnotquitesureyetthatheiscoming,"saidMeldon.

"IthoughtDoylesaid--"

"Doylesaidhehadengagedroomsatthehotelandtakenthefishing.Itdoesn'tabsolutelyfollowthathe'lloccupytheroomsandcatchthesalmon.SabinaGallagheris,IunderstandfromDoyle,tokillachicken,butit'snotquitecertainyetthatthejudgewilleatthechicken."

"It'lldependagooddealonthewayit'scooked,Isuppose,"saidtheMajor.

"Itwillalsodependuponthejudge'sreachingBallymoy.Asamatter

offact,Ihaveaplaninmymindwhichmay--whichprobablywill--preventhisgettingfurtherthanDonard.IintendtoaskDr.O'Donoghuetoco-operatewithme.Ican'tbequitecertainyetthatwe'llbesuccessfulinheadingoffthejudgeandsendinghimsomewhereelseforhissalmonfishing.Butmyplanisanextremelygoodone.Itoughttocomeoffallright.Ifitfails,Ishalltryanother.Ishalltrytwoorthreemoreifnecessary."

"Iwishyouwouldn't.Theseplansofyoursalwaysendininvolvingusallinsuchfrightfulcomplications."



"Doyoumeantosay,Major,thatyouwishtogiveuptheideaofSimpkins'marriageandsubsequentdeath?"

"I'vealwayswishedtogiveitup,"saidtheMajor."SincethedayyoufirstsuggestedIneverlikedit,andIlikeitmuchlessnowthatIhavegottoknowMissKing.ItseemstomeawickedthingeventothinkofagirllikethatbeingmarriedtosuchanuttercadasSimpkins."

"Idon'tknowhowyoucansitthereandconfesswithoutablushthatyoudon'tknowyourownmindfortwodaystogether.I'dbeashamedtogobackonathingthewayyoudo.AndI'mnotgoingbackonthis.Foronething,IhaveadutytoperformtoyouandDoyle,andO'DonoghueandSabinaGallagher,andtherectorandthepolicesergeant.Inthenextplace,afterallthetroubleI'vetakentocarrythisschemethrough,I'mnotgoingtogiveinjustatthemomentofsuccess.IshallgointhismorningandseeO'Donoghue.To-morrowheandIwilldriveovertoDonard--"

"Ican'tgiveyouahorseto-morrow,"saidtheMajor.

"Youcanifyoulike."

"Iwon't,then."

"Whynot?"

"Because,ifyougoplayingofffools'tricksonajudge,you'llendingettingyourselfputinprison.Thereissuchathingascontemptofcourt,andjudgesarejustaboutthemosttouchymenthereareabouttheirdignity.Theydon'thesitateforaninstantto--"

"Ajudgeisn'tacourt,"saidMeldon,"whenhehasn'tgothiswigon,andbesidesanEnglishjudgehasnojurisdictioninthiscountry.However,I'mnotgoingdownonmykneestoyoufortheloanofahorseandtrap.Ifyoudon'tchoosetoobligemeinthematterofyourown

freewillIwon'tplacemyselfunderanyobligationtoyou.IshallsimplyborrowabicycleandridetoDonard.O'Donoghuewillhavetoridetoo,thoughIdon'texpecthe'lllikeit.It'stwentymiles,andO'Donoghuedrinksmorethanisgoodforhim."

"AreyougoingtotellO'Donoghuethewholecock-and-bullplanaboutSimpkinsandMissKingandthemurder?"

"No.O'Donoghueisareasonableman.Hedoesn'targueandbrowbeatmethewayyoudo.WhenItellhimthattheremovalofSimpkins,andconsequentlyhisownfuturehappinessandcomfort,dependverylargelyonourbeingabletokeepSirGilbertHawkesbyoutofBallymoy,hewillbelievemeatonceandactinasensibleway."

"Whatdoyoumeantodotothejudgewhenyoucatchhim?"

"Idon'tmeantodoanything.Isupposeyouhavesomewildideainyourhead--"

"Noideascouldbewilderthanyoursare,J.J."

"Somewildideaofmymaimingtheoldgentleman,orbribingamantokidnaphim,orsendinghimabogustelegramtosaythathiswifeis



dying.Asamatteroffact,I'mgoingtodonothingexcepttellhimthesimpletruth."

"Idon'tbelieveyoucoulddothat,J.J.You'veneverhadanypracticesinceIknewyou."

"Ifyouthinkthatyouwillgetmetorevealthedetailsofmyplanbytauntingmeyou'regreatlymistaken.Icanstandanyamountofinsultswithoutturningahair.Amanwhoisintheright,andconsciousofhisownintegrity--yourecollectwhattheLatinpoetsaysaboutthat--"

"No.Idon't.YouknowIdon'treadLatinpoets,sowhat'sthegoodofquotingbitsofthemtome?"

"Verywell.Iwon't.ButIwon'ttellyoumyplaneither.I'llsaynomorethanthis:whatthejudgewillhearfrommylipsto-morrowwillbethesimpletruth,thetruthasSimpkinsoranyotherunprejudicedobserverwouldtellit.ButthetruthinthisparticularcaseisofsuchalandthatIshouldbegreatlysurprisedifhedoesn'tturnstraightroundandgohomeagain."

"AreyougoingtotellhimthatMrs.Lorimerishere?Notthatthatisthetruth,butI'mreallybeginningtothinkyoubelieveitis."

"No.I'mnotgoingtotellhimthat.WhenIsaidIwasgoingtotellthetruth,Ididn'tmeanthatIwasgoingtositdownoppositethatjudgeandtellhimallthetruthIknowabouteverything.Itwouldtakedaysanddaystodothat,andhewouldn'tsititout.No,I'mgoingtotellhimonesolidlumpoftruthwhichhewilllistento--atruththatO'Donoghuewillbackup;thatyou'dbackupyourselfifyouwerethere;thatevenDoylewouldbeforcedtostandoverifhewasputintoawitnessboxonhisoath.ButIcan'tspendthewholedayexplainingthingstoyou.ImustgoinandhustleSimpkinsabit.There'snoreasonintheworldthatIcanseewhyheshouldn'tgouptoBallymoyHouseandproposethisafternoon.ThenImustseeO'Donoghueandmakearrangementsaboutto-morrow.Ishallalso,thankstoyourchurlishness,havetoborrowabicycleformyself.ThenImustlookup

thatdodderingoldassCallaghan,andtellhimtoprecipitatemattersabitifIsucceedinhuntingSimpkinsuptoBallymoyHouse.IfIfailtoheadoffthejudge--Idon'texpecttofail,butifbyanychanceIdo--weshallhavenotimetospare,andmusthaveSimpkinsdefinitelycommittedtothemarriageassoonaspossible.Notthatitwillreallybemuchuseifthejudgegetsathim.Simpkinsisjustthesortofdishonourablebeastwho'dseizeonanyexcusetowriggleoutofanengagement;particularlyashe'llknowthatMissKingisscarcelyinapositiontogointocourtandgetdamagesforbreachofpromise."

CHAPTERXIII.

SirGilbertHawkesbyhadthereputationofbeingajustandablejudge,amanoffineintellect,greatvigour,andimmensedeterminationofcharacter.Onthebenchhelookedthepartwhichpopularimaginationhadgivenhimtoplay.Hiseyesweredescribedas"steely"byaladyjournalist,whohadoccasiontowatchhimduringthesensationaltrialofMrs.Lorimer.Hischinshedescribedlateroninherarticleas"characteristicofastrongfighter."Hismannerincourtwasexceedinglysevere.Inprivatelife,especiallyduringhissummer



holiday,hetriednottolooklikeajudge,andwasalwayspleasedwhenstrangersmistookhimforacountrygentleman,theownerofalandedproperty.Hehadabroadfigure,andemphasiseditsbreadthbywearingonhisholidayloosejacketsofroughtweed.Hehadstrong,stoutlegswhichlookedwellinknickerbockersandshootingstockings.Acasualobserver,notknowingtheman,wouldhavesethimdownasanardentsportsman,andwouldhavebeenperfectlyright.Thejudgelovedfishing,andwaspreparedtogolongdistancesinthehopeofcatchingsalmon.Helikedyachting,andownedasmallcutterwhichwasoneofthecrackboatsofherclass.MenwhomethimforthefirsttimeonthebanksofaNorwegianriver,orataregattaatCowes,weremoreimpressedbyhisphysicalthanhisintellectualstrength.Theywouldperhapshavesuspectedhimofobstinacy,theobstinacyoftheinveterateprejudiceofthecountrygentleman.Theywouldnot,unlesstheyknewhim,havegivenhimcreditforbeingamanofwidereading,andajudgmentinliterarymattersassoundashisdecisionsincourt.

SirGilberthadspentnearlyaweekintheBournemouthvillawhichhehadtakenforLadyHawkesby.Theplaceweariedhim,andnothingbutachivalroussenseofthedutyheowedtohiswifekepthimtheresolong.LadyHawkesbywasalittleexactinginsomeways;andthoughsherecognisedthatthejudgehadarighttogofishing,shedislikedhisrunningawaywithoutspendingafewdayswithherafterthebusyseasonwasover,andshewasabletoleaveLondon.Thedayofthejudge's

departurehadarrived,andhesatwithLadyHawkesbyafterluncheon,waitingforthecarriagewhichwastotakehimtothestation.

"You'llseeMillicent,ofcourse,"saidLadyHawkesby."Besuretokeepheroutofmischiefifyoucan."

"Idon'tsuppose,"saidSirGilbert,"thatMillicentcangetintoanymischiefinBallymoy."

LadyHawkesbysighed.Shedistrustedherniece,regardingherasahighlydangerouspersonwhomightatanymomentcreateasensationwhichwouldamounttoapublicscandal.

"Iunderstand,"shesaid,"thattheplaceistwentymilesawayfromthenearestrailwaystation."

Shesighedagain.ShewasalittleuncertainastowhethersheoughttofindcomfortorfreshcauseofanxietyintheremotenessofBallymoyfromcivilisation.Ontheonehand,scandalsofaliterarykind--andLadyHawkesbydidnotsuspectMissKingofgivingoccasionforanythingworse--areunlikelyinthewildsofConnacht.Ontheotherhand,herdistancefromallfriendsandadviserswouldgiveMissKingafreedomwhichwasveryperilous.

"Ican'tthink,"shesaid,"whattakeseitherofyoutosuchaplace."

"I'mgoingtocatchsalmon,"saidSirGilbert."Millicenttellsmethatshewantsrestandquiet.Idaresayshedoes."

"Iwishverymuch,"saidLadyHawkesby,"thatshewassafelymarriedtosomequietsensibleman."

Therewasagooddealofsoundcommonsenseandknowledgeofhumannatureinher"safely."LadyHawkesbywasnotabrilliantwoman.Shewasinmanywaysafoolishwoman.Butshehadcertainbeliefsfoundedontheexperienceofmanygenerationsofpeoplelikeherself,and



thereforeentitledtorespect.Shebelievedthatawomanismuchlesslikelytowanderfromthebeatenpathsoflifewhenherhandsareheldbyahusband,ifpossible"aquietsensibleman,"andherpetticoatsgraspedbyseveralclingingchildren.

"I'mafraid,"saidSirGilbert,"thatshe'snotlikelytomeetwithanysuitablepersoninBallymoy,butifshedoesI'llgiveheryourblessingaswellasmyown."

ThefactthatMissKingwasnotlikelytomeetaneligiblemaninBallymoysetLadyHawkesby'sthoughtsworkinginafreshdirection.

"Iamsure,"shesaid,"thatMillicentwillbeverygladtoseeyou.Inaplacelikethatwheretherecan'tbeanybodytotalkto--"

"EvenImightbewelcome.I'lllookherupeverySunday.I'lldinewithherifsheasksmeonweek-days;butI'mnotgoingtostaywithherinthehouseshehastaken.IliketobeafreebirdofthewildwhenI'monmyholidays.Thelocalinn,whichiscalledtheImperialHotel,andownedbyamannamedDoyle,istheplaceforme.I'vetakenroomsinit."

"I'msurethey'llcookabominably.You'llbehalf-starved."

"Potatocakeandbottledporter,"saidSirGilbert."That'swhatIalwaysliveonwhenIgotoIreland.InScotlandIhaveoatcakeandwhisky.Lastsummer,inNorway,Ithroveonsmokedsalmon."

"Ihearthecarriage.Ihopeallyourthingsareproperlypacked,andthatnothingisforgotten."

"AslongasIhavemyrodsandmyflybook,"saidSirGilbert,"Ishallbeabletogetalong.Good-bye,mydear.Ishalldineattheclub,andcatchthenightmailfromEuston."

"Dowritetome,Gilbert."

"I'llwriteonSunday,notsooner,unlessIfindthatMillyhasgotintoascrape."

SirGilberttravelledcomfortably,andenjoyedhisjourney.AtEustonhegotintothecarriagewithanIrishMemberofParliament,aUnionist,whowasreturningtohisnativeDublinaftermakinghimselfasbrilliantlyobjectionableaspossibleforsixmonthstoaLiberalChiefSecretary.HemistookthejudgeforanIrishcountrygentleman,andgaveexpressiontopoliticalopinionswhichSirGilbertfoundextremelyamusing.OnthesteamerhefellinwithanotherMemberofParliament,thistimeaNationalist,whohadtravelledthirdclassinthetrain,andonlyemergedintogoodsocietyatHolyhead.He,gettingnearertothetruththanhisenemy,thoughtthejudgewasanEnglish

tourist,andexplainedthegoodintentionsoftheCongestedDistrictsBoardatsomelength.Thejudgefoundhimamusingtoo,andsatuptalkingtohiminthesmoking-room.Inthemorningheintroducedhistwoacquaintancestoeachotheratfiveo'clock,justasthesteamerreachedKingstownpier.Hewasdelightedwiththeresult.Theybothlookedroundthemcautiously,andsatisfiedthemselvesthattherewasnooneonthepierwhoknewthem.Thentheyfellintoananimatedconversation,andfoundeachothersoagreeablethattheytravelledtogetherinasecond-classcarriagetoDublin,theNationalistpayingninepenceextrafortheprivilege,theUnionistsacrificingthe



advantagesconferredbyhisfirst-classticket.Thejudge,whowasgoinginadifferenttrain,puthisheadintothewindowoftheircompartmentandurgedthemtosettletheirpoliticaldifferencesbyasimilarcompromise.Hemadeahabitofbeingfestiveandjocularwhenhewasonholiday,andheparticularlyenjoyedpokingfunattheinhabitantsofforeigncountries.

InthebreakfastcarofthetrainwhichcarriedhimwestwardshecameintocontactwithaLocalGovernmentBoardinspector.Thisgentlemanwasextremelyreticentforalongtime,andwasonlypersuadedtotalkintheendwhenthejudgeassuredhimthathewasacompletestrangerinIreland,andwasnotanewspapercorrespondent.Thentheinspectortalked.Hetoldaseriesofamusingtaleswhichwereallofthemtrue,butwhichSirGilbertregardedasinventions.HehadtochangehiscarriageatAthlone,andpartedfromtheinspectorwithgreatregret.Fortherestofhisjourneyhewasalone.ItwashisfirstvisittothepartofIrelandhewastravellingthrough,andhelookedwithkeeninterestatthebogs,thescatteredcottages,theleancattle,scantypasturelands,potatofields,patchesofoats,andsqualidtowns.

AtDonardStation,whichistheterminusofthisbranchoftherailway,andtheneareststationtoBallymoy,hegotout.Hehadtelegraphedtothehotelforluncheon,andgivenordersthatacarshouldbereadytodrivehimovertoBallymoy,Hewasaccostedontheplatformbytwo

strangers.Heeyedthemwithsomesurprise.Theonewasashabby,red-hairedclergyman,withabristlingmoustacheandastrikinglybatteredhat.Helookedaboutthirtyyearsofage.Theotherwasaslightlyolderman,dressedinaseedygreysuitandapairofsurprisinglybrightyellowgaiters.

"SirGilbertHawkesby,Ipresume?"saidMeldon.

"Yes,"saidthejudge;"IamSirGilbertHawkesby."

"This,"saidMeldon,"ismyfriendDr.O'Donoghue,medicalofficerofhealthforthePoorLawUnionofBallymoy,amangreatlyrespectedintheneighbourhoodforhisscientificattainmentsandtheuncompromising

honestyofhischaracter.Ineedscarcelyremindyou,SirGilbert,thatthetwothingsdon'talwaysgotogether."

Dr.O'Donoghuebowedandtookoffhiscap.

"Andyou?"saidthejudge."MayIaskwhoyouare?"

"Itdoesn'treallymatterwhoIam,"saidMeldon."TheimportantfactforyoutograspisthatO'DonoghueistheofficerofhealthoftheUnionofBallymoy.That'swhatyouare,isn'tit,O'Donoghue?"

"Itis,"saidO'Donoghue.

"I'llmakeanoteofitatonce,"saidthejudge.

"Amentalnotewilldo,"saidMeldon."Youneedn'tbotherwritingitdown.Ifyouhappentoforgetitinthecourseofourconversation,you'veonlygottomentionthatyouhaveandI'lltellittoyouagain."

"Thanks,"saidthejudge."I'msogladthatwearetohaveaconversation.Whenshallwebegin?"

SirGilbertwasenjoyingMeldonverymuchsofar.He'dneverbefore



comeacrossanyoneexactlylikethisclergyman,andhewantedtoseemoreofhim.

"Perhaps,"saidMeldon,"aswhatwehavetosayisofastrictlyprivatekind,andmayturnouttobeactuallylibellous,we'dbettergodowntothehotel."

"Certainly,"saidthejudge."I'veorderedluncheonthere.IfyouandthemedicalofficerofhealthwilljoinmeIshallbedelighted.AfterluncheonIshallhavetoleaveyou,I'mafraid.Ihavealongdrivebeforeme.I'monmywaytoBallymoy."

"Whenyou'veheardwhatwehavetosay,"saidMeldon,"youwon'tgotoBallymoy."

"IexpectIshall,"saidthejudge."ButofcourseIdon'tknowyetwhatformyourlibelisgoingtotake.Still,Icanhardlyimaginethatthedefamationofanyone'scharacterwillkeepmeoutofBallymoy.Ihaveacarwaitingformeoutsidethestation,butI'mafraidIcannotoffertodriveyoudowntothehotel.Ihaveagooddealofluggage."

"Asfarastheluggageisconcerned,"saidMeldon,"youmayjustaswellleaveithere.There'snopointindraggingalotoftrunksand

fishing-rodsdowntothehotelwhenyou'llsimplyhavetodragthemallbackagain.Whenyou'veheardwhatwehavetosayyou'lltakethenexttrainhome."

"Idon'texpectIshall.Infact,IfeeltolerablycertainIshallgoon.I'lltaketheluggagewithmeanyhow,incaseIdo."

"Youmustn'tthink,"saidMeldon,"thatI'msuggestingyourleavingtheluggagebehindsimplyinordertogetaseatonyourcar."

"Iassureyou,"saidthejudge,"thatsuchasuspicionnevercrossedmymind."

"O'DonoghueandIbothhavebicycles,sowedon'twanttodrive.Hehashisown,acapitalmachine,andIborrowedDoyle'sthismorning,whichisquitesoundexceptfortheleftpedal.It'sabitgroggy,andcameofftwiceonthewayhere."

"ThatmakesmeallthemoresorryIcan'tdriveyoudown,"saidthejudge,"butyouseewhatalotofthingsIhave.Ineedn'tsaygood-bye:weshallmeetagainatthehotel."

Luncheon--chopsandboiledpotatoes--wasservedinthecommercialroomofthehotel.Whenthemaidhadgoneawayaftersupplyingthethreemenwithwhiskyandsoda,Meldonlaiddownhisknifeandfork.

"Imayintroducemysubject,"hesaid,"bysayingthatIhaveahighrespectforyou.SohasO'Donoghue.Haven'tyou,O'Donoghue?"

"Ihave,"saidO'Donoghue.

"Thanks,"saidthejudge."It'skindofyoubothtosaythat."

"Notatall;it'sthesimpletruth.Ilookuptoyouagooddealinyourcapacityofjudge.JudgeoftheKing'sBench,Ithink?"



Thejudgenodded.

"Inordertomakemypositionquiteplain,"saidMeldon,"andtopreventanypossibilityofyourthinkingthatI'mmeddlingwithyouraffairsinanunwarrantablemanner,ImayaddthatIrecogniseinyouoneofthepillarsofsociety,abulwarkofourcivilandreligiousliberty,amainstayoflawandorder.SodoesO'Donoghue."

"I'maNationalistmyself,"saidthedoctor,whofeltthathewasbeingcommittedtosentimentswhichhecouldnotentirelyapprove.

"I'mspeakingofSirGilbertasanEnglishjudge,"saidMeldon,"andthelawandorderIrefertoare,sofarasSirGilbertisconcerned,purelyEnglish.NothingthatIamsayingnowcompromisesyouintheslightesteitherwithregardtothelandquestionorHomeRule."

"Ididn'tunderstandthatatthetimeyouspoke,"saidthedoctor;"butifyoudon'tmeananymorethanthatI'mwithyouheartandsoul."

"Youhearwhathesays,"saidMeldontothejudge.

"Ineedscarcelysay,"repliedSirGilbert,"thatallthisisimmenselygratifyingtome."

"Itwon'tsurpriseyounow,"saidMeldon,"tohearthatwelookuponyourlifeasamostvaluableone--toovaluabletoberiskedunnecessarily."

"Ishouldappreciatethisentirelyunsolicitedtestimonial,"saidthejudge,"evenmorethanIdoalready,ifIknewexactlywhowasgivingittome."

"Idon'tsupposethatyou'dbemuchthewiserifItellyouthatmynameisMeldon--J.J.Meldon.IwasatonetimecurateofBallymoy."

"Thanks,"saidthejudge."Won'tyougoonwithyourluncheon?I'mafraidyourchopwillbecold."

"Ihave,"saidMeldon,"adutytoperform.Idon'tmindintheleastifmychopdoesgetcold.Iwishtowarnyouthatyourlife,yourvaluablelife--andIneverrealisedhowvaluableyourlifewasuntilIreadyoursumming-upinthecaseofMrs.Lorimer.Thatwas,ifImaysayso,masterly.Miltonhimselfcouldn'thavedoneitbetter."

"Milton?"saidthejudge.

"ImentionedMilton,"saidMeldon,"becausehewasthemostviolentmisogynistIeverheardof.ReadwhathesaysaboutDelilahin'SamsonAgonistes'andyou'llseewhyIcompareyourremarksaboutMrs.Lorimertothesortofwayhewrote."

"I'vereadit,"saidthejudge,"andIthinkIrecollectthepassagesyoualludeto.Idon'tquiteseemyselfwhatconnectionthereisbetweenhisviewsandthecaseofMrs.Lorimer.Still,I'mgreatlyobligedtoyouforwhatyousayaboutmysumming-up.ButyouwerespeakingofmylifejustbeforeyoumentionedMilton."

"Theconnectionisobviousenough,"saidMeldon;"andifyou'vereallyreadthepoem--"



"Ihave,"saidthejudge.

"Thenyououghttorecognisethatthestronganti-feministbiaswhichMiltondisplaysisexactlysimilartothespiritinwhichyouattributedtheworstpossiblemotivestoMrs.Lorimer.I'mnotnowenteringonadiscussionofthequestionofwhetheryouandMiltonarerightorwronginyourviewofwomen.Thatwouldtaketoolong,and,besides,ithasn'tanythingtodowiththebusinessonhand."

"That,"saidthejudge,"aswellasIrecollect,isthedangerofmylosingmylife."

"Yourlife,"saidMeldon,"willnotbesafeinBallymoy.Wemetyouatthestationto-dayinordertowarnyoutogostraighthomeagain."

"Really!"saidthejudge."ItravelleddownfromLondonwithaMemberofParliamentlastnight,andhegavemeadescriptionofthestateofthecountrywhichbearsoutwhatyousay.Hementionedanarchyandconspiracyasbeingrampant--orelserife;Iforgetforthemomentwhichwordheused.HesaidthatthewestofIrelandlayatthemercyofanorganisedsystemofterrorism,andthat--"

"ThatmusthavebeenaUnionist,"saidMeldon.

"Damnedlies,"saidO'Donoghue.

"HewasaUnionist,"saidthejudge."ButImetanothermaninthesteamer,alsoanM.P.,whosaidthat,owingtothebeneficentactionoftheCongestedDistrictsBoard,Connachtwasrapidlybecomingahappyandcontentedpartoftheempire;thatthesympathywithIrishideasdisplayedbythepresentGovernmentwaswinningtheheartsandaffectionsofthepeople,and--"

"That,"saidMeldon,"musthavebeenaNationalist."

"Moredamnedlies,"saidDr.O'Donoghue.

"Andnow,"saidthejudge,"Imeetyoutwogentlemen,oneofyouaNationalistandtheotheraUnionist--"

"Don'tcallmethat,"saidMeldon;"I'mnon-political.Nothingonearthwouldinducemetomixmyselfupwithanyparty."

"Andyou,"thejudgewenton,"aftercomparingmeinthemostflatteringmannertothepoetMilton,tellmethatmylifewon'tbesafeinBallymoy.I'minclinedtothinkthatthebestthingIcandoistogoandfindoutthetruthformyself."

"Ifitwassimplyaquestionofmurder,"saidMeldon,"Ishouldstronglyadviseyoutogoonandseethethingthrough;butwhatwe

haveinmindissomethinginfinitelyworse.Isn'tit,O'Donoghue?"

"Itis,"saidthedoctor;"farworse."

"Isit,"saidthejudge,"hightreason?That'stheonlycrimeIknowwhichthelawregardsasmoremalignantthanmurder.Thepenaltiesarealittleobsoleteatpresent,fornobodyhasventuredtocommitthecrimeforagreatmanyyears;butifyoulikeI'lllookthesubjectupwhenIgohomeandletyouknow."



"We'renottalkingaboutcrime,"saidMeldon,"butdrains.Doyle'sdrains."

"Ibegyourpardon,"saidthejudge."Didyousaydrains?"

"Yes,"saidMeldondistinctly."Drains--Doyle'sdrains.Thedrainsofthehouseyoumeantostopin.Ineedn'ttellyouwhatdrainsmean.Blood-poisoning,typhoid,septicthroats,breakingsoutinvariouspartsofyourbody,andaverypainfulkindofdeath.ForalthoughO'Donoghuewilldohisbestforyouinthewayofmitigatingyoursufferingshecan'tundertaketosaveyourlife."

"I'mprettytough,"saidthejudge,"andI'mpayingagoodpriceformyfishing.IthinkI'llfacethedrains."

"Idon'texpectthatyouquiterealisehowbadthosedrainsare.Doeshe,O'Donoghue?"

"Hedoesnot,"saidthedoctor.

"Thenyoutellhim,"saidMeldon."Asamedicalmanyou'llputitmuchmoreconvincinglythanIcan."

O'Donoghueclearedhisthroat.

"I'venodoubt,"saidthejudge,"thatyoucanmakeoutaprettybadcaseagainstthosedrains;butI'mgoingontoBallymoytocatchsalmonifthey'retwiceasrottenastheyare."

"Itwasonlylastwinter,"saidMeldon,"thatMr.SimpkinswantedtoprosecuteDoyleonaccountoftheconditionofhisdrains.Youprobablydon'tknowSimpkins;butifyoudid,you'dunderstandthathe'snotthekindofmantotakedrasticactionunlessthedrainswereprettybad."

"Andthey'reworsesince,"saidO'Donoghue.

"It'sextremelykindofyou,"saidthejudge,"tohavecomeallthiswaytowarnme,andofcourseifIknewSimpkinsImight,asyousay,actdifferently.ButIthink,onthewhole,I'llgoonandriskit.IfIdogetasepticthroatoranythingofthekindIshallsendatonceforDr.O'Donoghue;andIshallaskyou,Mr.Meldon,towriteanobituarynoticeforthepapersincaseIsuccumb.Iamsureyou'ddoitwell,andyoucouldputinallyousaidaboutDelilahandMrs.Lorimer.Ishan'tmindonceI'mburied."

"Youwon'tbeabletosayafterwards,"saidMeldon,"thatyouwerenotfairlywarned.We'vedoneourdutywhateverhappens."

"You'vedoneitinthemostthoroughway,"saidthejudge,"andIhope

IshallseeagreatdealofyouwhileI'minBallymoy."

"I'lljustfinishthischop,"saidMeldon,"andthenO'DonoghueandImustbeoff.Wehavealongridebeforeus.I'lltellDoyletosprinklesomechlorideoflimeinyourbedroom,andtodampthesheetswithCondy'sFluid.Idon'tsupposeitwillbemuchuse,butit'sthebestwecandoifyourmindismadeup."



CHAPTERXIV.

Meldonleftthehotelandmountedhisbicyclewithoutspeakinganotherword.Heroderapidlyoutofthetown,followedatsomedistancebyO'Donoghue,whowasacyclistofinferiorstrengthandenergy.ForthefirstfourmilestheroadtoBallymoygoessteadilyuphill.Meldon,grippinghishandle-barstightly,rodeatafastrate.O'Donoghuewasleftfurtherandfurtherbehind.AtthetopofthehillMeldonhadaleadofafullquarterofamile.Thentheleftpedalofhisbicyclecameoff,andhewasobligedtodismount.HewasworkingatitwithaspannerwhenO'Donoghue,breathlessandinabadtemper,cameupwithhim.Meldongreetedhimcheerfully.

"Obstinateoldswinethejudgeis,"hesaid."Youwouldhavethoughtamanlikethatwhosebusinessinlifeconsistsverylargelyinweighingevidence,andwhohasbeenspeciallytrainedtoarriveatsoundconclusionsfromthefactspresentedtohim,wouldhaveseenthenecessityofgivingupthisridiculousexpeditionofhistoBallymoy."

"Whydidyourideonlikethatandleavemebehind?"saidO'Donoghueshortly.

"IfIwereinclinedtobecaptiousandwantedtofindfault,"said

Meldon,"Imightsaywhydidyoulagbehindandleavemetoridebymyself?Idon'twanttoridebymyself.Iwanttodiscussthejudge'sconduct."

O'Donoghuealsowantedtodiscussthejudge'sconduct.Hewasevenmoreanxioustofindout,ifhecould,whyMeldondislikedtheideaofthisparticularjudgepayingavisittoBallymoy.Herecoveredhistemperwithaneffort.

"Idon'tthink,"hesaid,"thathebelievedawordyousaidaboutthedrains."

"That'sexactlywhatI'mcomplainingof.Heoughttohavebelievedus.

Accordingtoalltherulesofevidence,nostrongertestimonycouldpossiblyhavebeenofferedthanthestatementsofaclergymanandadoctor,neitherofwhomhadanypersonalinterestintheconditionofthedrains.Unlesswe'dbroughtabottleofwateroutofDoyle'swell,andshownhimthebacilliswimmingaboutinit,Idon'tseewhatmorewecouldhavedone."

"IwishIknew,"saidO'Donoghue,"exactlywhyitisthatyouwanttokeepSirGilbertoutofBallymoy.Whatharmisthereforhimtodoifhecomes?"

"Hewon'tdomeanyharmatall.InfactIshallbedelightedtohavehimthere.Hestruckmeasaveryintelligentandhighly-educatedman.

Yousawhowhecaughtmypointabout'SamsonAgonistes'atonce.NeitheryounorDoyle,norforthematterofthattheMajor,wouldhaveknownintheleastwhatIwastalkingabout.Amanlikethatabouttheplacewouldbeagreatcomforttome.Ishouldhavesomeonetotalkto.IwishIcouldgetyoualltounderstandthatI'mactinginthiswholebusinessfrompurelydisinterestedandaltruisticmotives.Idon'twanttogetridofSimpkins.YouandDoyleandtheMajordo."

"ThethingIcan'tunderstand,"saidO'Donoghue,"iswhatthejudgehastodowithSimpkins.IfIwasclearaboutthat--WhatImeantosay



isifIcouldmakeoutwhy--"

"Thankgoodness,"saidMeldon,"I'vegotthatbeastlypedalfixedagain.Comeon,doctor.Wehaven'taminutetowaste.IwanttobeinBallymoyaclearhourbeforethejudgearrivesthere."

Hemountedthebicycleashespoke,androdeoffatfullspeed.Theslopeoftheroadwasdownwardsfromtheplaceofthehalt,andO'DonoghuewasabletokeepclosetoMeldonforsometime.Hemadeanumberofbreathlessattemptstospeak.

"Ifyou'donlytellme,"hepanted,"why--"

Sometimeshegotalittlefurtherthanthe"why."

Heneversucceededincompletelyfinishinghissentence.Afterawhilehebegantodropbehindagain.OnalonglevelstretchofroadMeldondrewrapidlyaheadandmighthavereachedBallymoyawholemileinfrontofO'DonoghueifthepedalofDoyle'sbicyclehadnotfailedhimagain.Theaccidentgavethedoctorhisopportunity.HecameupwithMeldonandaskedhisquestion.

"WhatdifferencewillthejudgemaketoSimpkins?That'swhatIwanttoknow,andIwon'tgoonblindfolddoingexactlywhatyoutellme.

IfIsawmywayitwouldbedifferent."

"Ican'texplainthepositionfullytoyou,"saidMeldon,"withoutgivingawayasecretwhichisn'treallymine;asecretwhichinvolvesthehonourofalady.ButwhenItellyouthatmyplanforgettingridofSimpkinspermanentlyinvolvesmymarryinghimtoMissKing,you'llnodoubtbeabletomakeoutforyourselfwhyitisabsolutelynecessarytokeepSirGilbertHawkesbyoutofBallymoy.Anyintelligentman,abletoputtwoandtwotogether,oughttoseethewholething,especiallyifhe'sbeenreadingthenewspapers."

O'Donoghuesatdownonthebankatthesideoftheroadandthoughtdeeply.Meldonworkedvehementlyatthepedal.

"Ican'tseeintheleastwhatyou'reat,"saidO'Donoghueatlast."Butitdoesn'tmatter.IfyourplanofmakingSimpkinsmarrythatladydependsonyourkeepingthejudgeoutoftheplace,then,sofarasIcansee,it'sdonefor.He'scominginspiteofyou."

"Myplanwillbeallright,"saidMeldon,"ifhedoesn'tstay;andIthinkhewon'tstay."

"Hedoesn'tseemtominddrainsabit;andhe'llmindthemlesswhenheseesthem.They'rebad,ofcourse;butthey'renotnearsobadasyoumadeout.Idon'texpectamanthatagewillcatchanything."

"I'mnotnowrelyingonthedrains,"saidMeldon."Iquitegiveinthatthey'vefailed.I'monmywaybacktomakeotherarrangementswhichwillhavehimoutofBallymoyintwenty-fourhours."

"Youmeanthechlorideoflimeinhisbedroom."

"Thatandotherthings.I'mconvincedthatwerunagraveriskeveryhourhespendsinBallymoy,andsoIshallnaturallytakeprettystrongmeasurestogethimout."



"Don'tmixmeupinthemifyoucanhelpit.Ibackedyouupaboutthedrains,butforamaninmypositionitdoesn'tdotogotoofar,especiallywithajudge."

"Allyouhavetodo,"saidMeldon,"istosupplythechlorideoflimeandtheCondy'sFluid.Ishan'taskyoutodoanythingelse.Youcan'tcomplainaboutatriflelikethat.MostmenwoulddoagreatdealmoreinordertogetridofSimpkins."

Thepedalwasfixedagain.Meldonshookitviolentlytomakesurethatitwasreallyfirm.

"Ihope,"hesaid,"itwillstickonthistime.Thesedelaysaremostexasperatingwhenone'sinahurry.Weshallhavetobuckupnow,O'Donoghue,andridereallyfast."

O'Donoghuegroaned.HehadbeenridingatthetopofhisspeedsinceheleftDonard,andtherewerestillsixmilesbetweenhimandBallymoy.Meldonledoffataracingspeed,leavingthedoctortofollowhimthroughachokingcloudofdust.AboutthreemilesoutsideBallymoy,O'Donoghue,havingentirelylostsightofMeldon,satdowntorestonthesideoftheroad.Thepedalwasholdingtoitsplace,andhehadnohopeofseeinghiscompanionagain.

Meldonproppedhisbicycleupoutsidethedoorofthehotel,walkedintothehall,andshoutedforDoyle.

"Icoulddo,"hesaid,"withacupoftea,ifyou'llbesogoodastotellSabinaGallaghertomakeitforme."

"I'lldothat,"saidDoyle."I'ddomorethanthatforyou,Mr.Meldon.TheteawillbelaidoutforyouinthecommercialroominfiveminutesifsobeSabinahasthekettleontheboil,andit'swhatI'malwaystellinghersheoughttoseeto."

"Idon'twantitsetoutinthecommercialroom,"saidMr.Meldon,"noryetinthedrawing-room.Iwanttotakeitinthekitchenalongwith

Sabina."

"Isitinthekitchen?Surethat'snoplaceforagentlemanlikeyourselftobetakinghistea."

"Allthesameit'sthereImeantohaveit.Thefactis,IhaveawordortwotosaytoSabinaprivately."

Doyleopenedadoorattheendofthehallinwhichtheystood,andshouteddownalongpassage:

"Sabina,SabinaGallagher!Areyoulisteningtome?Verywellthen.Willyouwetsometeainthesilverteapotwhichyou'llfindbeyond

in--"

"I'dpreferthebrownone,"saidMeldon,"ifit'sallthesametoyou.Ihatethetasteofplate-powder.Idon'tthinkit'slikelythatSabinahasbeenwastinghertimepolishingyoursilver,butyounevercantellwhatagirllikethatwoulddo."

"Inthebrownteapot,"shoutedDoyle."Andsetoutacupandsauceronthekitchentable--"



"Twocups,"saidMeldon."IwantSabinatojoinme,sothatI'llbesureofgettingherinagoodtemper."

"Twocups,"shoutedDoyle."Andwhenyouhavethatdonebeoffandcleanyourselfasquickasyoucan,fortheReverendMr.Meldonwillbedowninaminutetotaketeawithyou.Ifthereisn'tapotofjamdownbelow--andit'slikelyyouhaveitateifthereis--gointotheshopandaskforone.Isitstrawberryyou'dlike,Mr.Meldon?"

"Thatorraspberry,"saidMeldon."Idon'tcarewhich.AndnowIwanttosayawordortwotoyou."

"Comeinside,"saidDoyle."Thereisn'tasoulinthebar,andmaybeyou'dlikeadropofsomethingbeforeyourtea."

"Iwouldnot.Youknowverywell,Doyle,thatInevertouchwhiskybeforemymeals,especiallywhenI'veanybusinesstodo;andyououghttobeashamedofyourselfforofferingittome."

Doylepushedforwardachair,selectedanotherforhimself,andsatdownoppositeMeldon.

"Isitaboutthejudgethat'scomingthiseveningthatyouwantedtospeaktome?"

"Itis,"saidMeldon.

"Iwasthinkingitmightbe.Whenyouaskedfortheloanofmybicyclethismorning,andtoldmethatyouandthedoctorwasofftoDonardinahurry,Imadefullsureitwashimyouwereafter.Whathaveyoudonewiththedoctor?"

"He'llbehereinafewminutes,"saidMeldon,"andwhenhecomeshe'llgiveyousomechlorideoflimeandabottleofCondy'sFluid.You'retosprinklethelimeonthefloorofthejudge'sbedroom,andtodampthesheetsonhisbedwithasolutionofCondy'sFluid.O'Donoghuewillgiveyouexactdirectionsaboutthequantities."

"Andwhatwouldthatbefor?"

"Thejudgewantsitdone,"saidMeldon,"andthatoughttobeenoughforyou."

"IwasreadingabitinthepaperonedayaboutwhattheycalltheChristianScience.Isuppose,now,he'llbeoneofthem?"

"No,"saidMeldon."He'snot.Ifyou'dreadalittlemorecarefullyyou'dhaveunderstoodthatnoChristianScientistwouldwalkonthesamesideofthestreetasabottleofCondy'sFluid.Theprincipalarticleoftheircreedisthattherearenosuchthingsasgerms,

consequentlyit'smerewasteoftimetryingtokillthem.AndasCondy'sFluidexistschieflyforthepurposeofkillinggerms,itstrikestheChristianScientistasanimmoralcompound.Idon'tknowexactlywhatreligionyourjudgeprofesses,butonethingisclearfromhisinsistingonCondy'sFluid,he'snotaChristianScientist."

"It'saswellhe'snot,"saidDoyle."WhatIsay,andalwaysdidsay,isthis:TheCatholicreligionistherightreligion,meaningnooffencetoyou,Mr.Meldon.AndtheProtestantreligionisagoodreligionforthemthat'sbroughtuptoit.Andifamancan'tmakeup



hismindtooneorotherofthetwoofthem,it'sbetterforhimnottohaveareligionatall."

"Don'tletyourinterestintheologicalcontroversydistractyourattentionfromseeingafterthethoroughdisinfectionofthejudge'sbedroom."

"Iwillnot,"saidDoyle;"butI'llseethatyourordersarecarriedout.It'saqueernotion,soitis,tobesleepingindampsheets.Butamanlikethatoughttoknowwhatsuitshim."

"Right,"saidMeldon."Andnow,ifyou'llexcuseme,I'llbeofftothekitchenandhavemytea.Youkeepyoureyeliftingforthedoctor,andgetthosethingsoutofhimassoonasyoucan."

SabinaGallagher,blushingandembarrassed,withacleanapronon,stoodwithherbackagainstthedresserwhenMeldonenteredthekitchen.Heshookhandswithher,andnoticedatoncethatshehadobeyedhermaster'sordersandmadesomeefforttocleanherself.Herhandsweredampandcold.

"I'mgladtoseeyoulookingwell,"saidMeldon,"Istheteaready?"

"Itis,"saidSabina.

Meldonsatdownandpouredouttwocups.

"Comealong,"hesaid,"andkeepmecompany."

Sabinasidledtowardsthetable.

"I'mjustaftermytea,"shesaid,"andI'dbeashamedtobesittingdownwithagentlemanlikeyourself."

"Nonsense,"saidMeldon,"Iwanttotalktoyou,andIcan'tdothatifyou'restandingthereinthemiddleofthefloorsoasI'dgetacrickinmynecktryingtolookatyou.Sitdownatonce."

Sabinagrinnedsheepishlyandsatdown.Meldondrankoffhiscupofteaatadraught,andpouredoutasecond.

"HaveyoutakentheadviceIgaveyoutheotherdayaboutyourcooking?"heasked.

"Isitmakingthemthingswitholives?"

"Itis."

"Well,Ihavenot;forIwouldn'tbefit."

"I'mgladtohearit,"saidMeldon."CircumstanceshavearisensinceIlastsawyouwhichrenderitdesirablethatyoushouldcookasbadlyaspossibleduringthenextfewdays.There'sajudgecomingherethisevening."

"IheardMr.Doylesayingthatsame,"saidSabina.

"Andhe'llbeexpectingsomesortofadinnerto-night."

"There'sachickenreadytogointotheovenforhimanyminute."



"Whatyouhavetodo,"saidMeldon,"istoseethathegetsasbadadinneraspossible,andaworsebreakfastto-morrowmorning."

"Bad,isit?"

"Uneatable,"saidMeldon."Servehimupfoodthatapigwouldn'tlookat.Canyoudothat,doyouthink?"

"Imight,ofcourse,"saidSabina;"but--"

"Thendo."

"SureifIdohe'llnotbeforstoppinginthehotel."

"Exactly,"saidMeldon."He'snotwantedtostop."

"Mr.Doylewilllaceratemeafter,ifthegentlemanleaves,andthelanguagehe'llusewillbewhatIwouldn'tliketobelisteningto."

"Mr.Doyle,"saidMeldon,"maytakethatviewatfirst.He'sashort-sightedman,andisinclinedtoconsideronlytheimmediatepresent;but,ingivingyouthedirectionsIamgivingaboutthejudge'sfood,IamactinginMr.Doyle'sbestinterests.I'mlooking

intothefuture,anddoingwhatwillbebestforMr.Doyleinthelongrun.Afterawhilehe'llcometounderstandthat,andthenhe'llbeextremelypleasedwithyou,andmostprobablyhe'llraiseyourwages."

"He'llnotdothat,"saidSabinaconfidently.

"Inanycase,"saidMeldon,"whateverviewheultimatelytakesofyouraction,youwillhavethefeelingthatyouaresecuringthegreatestgoodofthegreatestnumber,andthat'sarewardinitself--amuchbetterrewardthanafewshillingsextrawages."

"Itmightbe,"saidSabina;butshespokewithoutconviction.

"Astotheexactmethodthatyououghttopursue,"saidMeldon,"Idon'tlaydownanyhardandfastrules;butIshouldsuggestthatparaffinoilisathingthathasamostpenetratingkindoftaste,andIdon'tknowthatIevermetanyonewholikedit.Irememberonceaservantwehadathomecleanedtheinsideofthecoffee-potwithparaffinoil.Itastedthestuffforweeksafterwards,andIcouldn'tmakeoutforalongtimewheretheflavourcamefrom."

"Wouldtherebeanyfear,"saidSabina,"butImightpoisonhim?"

"Notabit,"saidMeldon."You'lldohimgoodifheeatsthethings.Youmaynotknowit,butvaselineismadefromparaffinoil,andit'swellknownthatvaselineisanextraordinarilywholesomesortofstuff,

goodforalmostanythinginthewayofacutoraburn.Thenthere'sakindofemulsionmadefrompetroleum--that'sthesameasparaffin--whichcuresconsumption.Forallweknowthisjudgemaybesufferingfromconsumption,andalittleparaffinmaybethebestthingintheworldforhim."

"Iwouldn'tlikeifhewastodieonus."

"NorwouldI;buthewon't.Youneedn'tbetheleastbitafraidofthat.Foronething,themomenthesmellstheparaffinhe'llstop



eatingthefood.However,allthisisonlymyidea.Betterplansmaysuggestthemselves.Forinstance,Ihavenoticedthatifyouchopupanonionwithaknife,andthenspreadbutterwiththesameknife,thebuttergetsamostobjectionabletaste.Youhaveonionsaboutthehouse,Isuppose."

"Ihave."

"Thenyoumighttrythat.Andthere'sawayofdealingwithbacon.I'mnotquitesurehowit'sdone,butthetasteallgoesoutofit,anditgetsextremelytough.Thenyoufryitinsuchawaythatit'squitelimp,andsprinklealittlesootonit.I'veoftentriedtoeatbacondonethatway--beforeIwasmarried,ofcourse--andInevercould.Idon'tsupposethejudgewillbeabletoeither.Boiledeggsaredifficultthingstotamperwith,butyoucouldalwaysseethattheywerestale."

"Icouldnot,then."

"Youcould,Sabina.Don'traisefrivolousdifficulties.Anybodycouldkeepanegguntilitwasstale."

"Notinthishouse."

"Andwhynot?"

"Becausethey'dbeate,"saidSabina."Whatevermanyeggsthehensmightlaythey'dbeatebysomeonebeforetheywereadayinthehouse,andIcouldn'tkeepthem.TherewasalittlePlymouthRockhenthatwaswantingtositherelastweek,andittookmeallIcoulddoandmoretogettheeggssavedupforher,andatthelatterendIhadonlynine."

"Isshesittingyet!"

"Sheis,ofcourse."

"Thenyoumighttrythejudgewiththeeggsthat'sunderher."

"Iwillnot,then.IsitafterallthetroubleIhadwithher,andthechickenswillbeoutearlynextweek.Ineverheardofthelike."

"Well,"saidMeldon,"I'llhavetoleavetheboiledeggstoyou,Sabina,butI'llbedisappointedinyouifthejudgeeatsthem.Doyouthinknowthatyouthoroughlyunderstandwhatyou'vegottodo?"

"Ido.Whywouldn'tI?"

"ThenI'llsaygood-byetoyou.I'mmuchobligedtoyouforthecupoftea.Andremember,Sabina,thisisn'tanykindofajoke.It's

seriousbusiness,andImeaneverywordIsay.It'smostimportantthatthejudgeshouldleaveBallymoyassoonaspossible."

"IsitpersecutingtheLeagueboyshe'safter?"saidSabina."Forthere'sacousinofmyownthat'sinwiththem,and--"

"Brotherofthered-hairedgirlatMr.Simpkins?"

"Heis;andIwouldn'tlikeanyharmwouldcometohim."



"YouactasIhavetoldyou,andnoharmwillcometohim.Butifthejudgestaysonhereit'simpossibletosaywhatmayhappen.Youknowwhatjudgesare,Sabina."

"I'veheardtellofthem,andit'smightylittlegoodiseversaidofthemortheirlike."

"Quiteso,"saidMeldon."SoyoudoyourbesttogetthisoneoutofBallymoy."

CHAPTERXV.

Meldon,althoughhestillkeptDoyle'sbicycle,didnotarriveatPortsmouthLodgeuntilaftereighto'clock.MajorKenthadwaiteddinnerforhim,andwastherefore,aseventhebestmenareundersuchcircumstances,inaverybadtemper.WhenMeldonwalkedintothestudyhewassittingwithTheTimesspreadoutonhisknee.

"Ihavehad,"saidMeldon,"alongandparticularlyexhaustingkindofday.Ididn'tgetmuchlunchwiththejudgeatDonard,andalthoughIhadacupofteawithSabinaGallagheratthehotel,Ihadsomuchto

saytoherthatIdidn'teatmuch.Ihopedinner'sready."

"Dinner,"growledtheMajor,"hasbeenreadyformorethananhour."

"Good,"saidMeldon."I'mcertainlyreadyforit.Comeon."

"Iwishtogoodness,"saidtheMajor,rising,"thatyou'doccasionallytrytobeintimeforameal."

"There'snousewishingthat.Iwon't.It'samatterofprinciplewithme.Iregardpunctualityastheviceoflittleminds.Timeismeanttobetheservant,notthemasterof--"

"Don'tbeginatirade,"saidtheMajor,"butletusgetatwhat'sleftofourdinner.Therewon'tbemuch,andwhatthereiswillbecharred."

"Waitaminute,"saidMeldon."Idon'tdenythatI'mhungryandtired,butI'dratherrideallthewaybacktoDonardthansitdownattablewithyouinthetemperyou'reinatpresent."

"It'llbeworse,"saidtheMajor,"ifI'mkeptwaitinganylonger.AndIknowwhatyourtiradesare.Ifyoustartonavaguesortofsubjectliketimeyou'llbeatitforanhourbeforeyou'vefinished."

"Verywell,"saidMeldon."Asamatteroffact,whatIwantedtosaywouldn'thavetakenfiveminutes,andIcouldhavesaiditwhileyou

wereladlingoutthesoup.Butifyou'drathergorgedownyourfoodlikeawildbeastinacavernwithoutthecivilisingaccompanimentofintellectualconversation,youcan.Ishan'tmind.Imayperhapssay,however,thateverybodydoesn'tshareyourtastes.SirGilbertHawkesbywelcomedwhatIhadtosayaboutMiltonatlunchto-day,andshowedthathe'dnotonlyread'SamsonAgonistes,'but--"

"Thedinnerisspoiled,anyway,"saidtheMajor."Isupposeanotherhourwon'tmakeitanyworse.Willyoubeabletofinishthatdisquisitioninanhour,doyouthink,J.J.?"



"I'vefinishednow;sowecangointoourdinnerandeatit.Itmaybe,asyousay,spoiled;butitcan'tbenearlysoobjectionableaswhatpoorSirGilbertHawkesbyistryingtoeatatthepresentmoment.Thatoughttobesomeconsolationtoyou."

"What'sthatyou'resayingaboutthejudge'sdinner?"

"Merelythatit'sinamuchworsestatethanyours.Alittletoomuchcookingisallyouhavetocomplainof.Hisdinnerissoakedinparaffinoil.Butcomealong,Major;thethoughtofhissufferingsneedn'tpreventoursatisfyingourappetites."

"Whathaveyoubeendoing,J.J.?Tellme,likeagoodfellow.I'dliketoknowtheworstatonce."

"Nothingwouldinduceme,"saidMeldon,"tostartanothertiradewhileyou'rehungry.Itwouldn'tbefairtoyou."

"Ishan'tbeabletoeatcomfortably,J.J.,withthethoughtofwhatyoumayhavebeendoinghangingovermyhead.Ishallbeimaginingallthetimethatit'ssomethingevenworsethanitreallyis.Whathaveyoudonetothejudge?"

"Adisquisition,"saidMeldon--"aswellasIrecollectdisquisitionwasthesecondwordyouused--onthatsubjectwouldcertainlylastanhour,andbythattimeyourdinnerwouldbealmost,ifnotquite,inasbadastateasthejudge's.I'mgoingintothedining-room.Youcanstayhereifyoulike,butIadviseyoutocomewithme."

TheMajorrosewithasigh,andfollowedhisguestintothedining-room.Thesoupwasnearlycold.So,whentheyappearedalittlelater,werethepotatoesandthespinach.Thelegofmuttonwashotbutbadlyburned.Meldonateheartily.TheMajorlaiddownhisknifeandforkwithasigh.

"Yousaidyouwerehungry,"saidMeldon."Whydon'tyoueat?"

"Myappetiteisgone,"saidtheMajor."I'mtoonervousaboutyouandthatjudgetocareaboutfood.Besides,lookatthat"--heproddedapieceofcharredmuttonwithhisforkashespoke--"howcanIeatthat?"

"You'dlikeitevenlessifittastedofparaffinoil.That'swhatthejudgeishavingtoputupwith.Idaresayhe'dbegladenoughtochangeplaceswithyou."

"Tellmewhatyoudid,J.J.Youmusthaveeatenenoughofthatmuttonnow."

"I'vehad,"saidMeldon,leaningbackinhischair,"alongand

exhaustingday.Ithasalsobeenadisappointingday.Ihaven'taccomplishedallIhoped."

"Youneverdo."

"Onthecontrary,Ialwaysdo--intheend.MyfirstplanforkeepingthejudgeoutofBallymoyfailed.Ifranklyadmitthat.Itfailedbecausethejudgeturnsouttobeapig-headedandobstinateman,whodoesn'tknowwhat'sgoodforhim.ItoldhimdistinctlythatifhecametoDoyle'shotelhe'dgettyphoidfeveranddie.O'Donoghue



backedmeup.Butwedidn'tproducetheslightesteffectonthejudge.HisattituderemindedmeofthatsayingofNapoleon'saboutEnglishmenbeingsuchfoolsthattheydon'tknowwhentheyarebeaten.Thiswretchedjudgethinkshecandefydiseasegerms,whichofcoursehecan't."

"Thefactbeing,"saidtheMajor,"thatherecognisedataglancethekindofmanyouare,andknewthatheneedn'tbelieveawordyousaid.Iratherrespectthejudge."

"Youliketoputitthatway,"saidMeldon;"butasamatteroffactitwasIwhorecognisedthesortofmanheis.Iseenow--IsawbeforeIhadbeenaquarterofanhourinhiscompany--thatthereisabsolutelynousemakinganyfurtherappealtohisintellect.IfI'dknownthathewassuchathoroughEnglishmanasheturnsouttobe,Ishouldn'thavewastedmytimeintryingtoreasonwithhim.IshouldhavegonestraighttotheonlypartofhimwhichanEnglishmanreallydislikeshavingtouched--hisstomach."

"Lookhere,J.J.,"saidtheMajor,"Idon'tmindyourscoffingatEnglishmennowandthen.Iknowyoudon'treallymeanit,butyououghtn'ttogotoofar.RememberI'manEnglishmanmyselfbydescent,andIhavesomefeelings.Trynottobeoffensive.I'mnotalwayssayingnastythingsaboutIrishmentoyou."

"No,"saidMeldon;"yourinsultsaremoredirectlypersonal.Aminuteagoyoucalledmealiar,whichismuchworsethananythingIsaidaboutEnglishmen.Besideswhichitisn'ttrue,whereaswhatI'msayingabouttheEnglishisanabsolutefact.Takeyourself,forexample.Whatwasitthatupsetyourtemperjustnowinthestudy?Wasitanoverwhelminglovefortheabstractqualityofpunctuality?IshouldhavesomerespectforyouifIthoughtitwas,butIcan'tthinkthat.Nobodywhoknowsyoucould.Youwouldn'tcareapinifeverybodyintheworldwaslateforeveryengagementtheymadeforawholeyear.Whatyoudocareaboutisyourownmiserablestomach.Ifitisn'tfilledatjustexactlytheusualmomentyougetsavage,althoughyouareusuallyafairlygood-temperedman.Thatdemonstratesthetruthof

whatIsay.Andifit'struthaboutyouafteralltheyearsyou'velivedinthiscountry,itis,ofcourse,muchmoretrueaboutthisjudge.Therefore,togetbacktowhatIwassayingaminuteago--havingfailedinmyappealtohisintellect--IfallbackupontheonevulnerablepartofhimandtryifIcaninfluencehimthroughthat."

"Dotellmewhatyou'vedone,J.J."

"I'vetoldSabinaGallagher--"

"WhoisSabinaGallagher?"

"She'sDoyle'scook.Sheis,intheopinionofthejudge,quitethe

mostimportantpersoninthewholeofBallymoy."

"Idon'texpecthereallythinksthat,"saidtheMajor,"afterseeingyou.ButwhatdidyoutellSabina?"

"Itoldherthateverythinghegottoeatwastotasteofparaffinoil.That,Ithink,oughttodrivehimoutofBallymoyintwenty-fourhours."

"It'llprobablydriveSabinaoutofherjob.Doylewillsackherto-morrowmorning."



"No,hewon't.Hisfoodwon'ttasteofparaffin."

"Inanycaseshewon'tdoit,"saidtheMajor."Nogirlwouldbesowicked."

"Theonlythingthatwilldefeather,"saidMeldon,"willbethecaseofaboiledegg.Idon'tmyselfseehowshe'stomanageaboiledegg.Ihadtoleavethattoherownimagination.Butshe'sasmartgirl,andshemayhituponsomewayofdoingit.Inanycase,thejudgecanhardlyliveentirelyonboiledeggs.Everythingelsehegetswillhavemoreorlessparaffininit,exceptthebutter,andit'stotasteofonions.Hisbedwillbedamp,too--horriblydamp--withCondy'sFluid."

"You'llprobablykilltheoldman,"saidtheMajor.

"Idon'tthinkso.He'llleavebeforeitcomestothat.Andinanycase,Iwarnedhimthathe'dendangerhislifeifhecametoDoyle'shotel."

Thedinnerwas,forthemostpart,difficulttoeat;buttheMajor,whowasreallyanabstemiousman,succeededinsatisfyinghisappetitewithbiscuitsandcheese;atumblerofwhiskyandsodaandaglassofportfurthercheeredhim.Hisanxietywasallayed,forhedidnotbelieve

thatDoyle'scookwouldventuretopoisonajudge,evenattherequestofMeldon.Thereforehewasabletolighthispipeinthestudywithafeelingofsatisfaction.Hesettleddowninhisaccustomedchair,andtookupTheTimesagain.Thistimeheexpectedtobeabletoreadit.Beforedinnerhisirritationhadpreventedhimfromgettinganygoodevenoutoftheleadingarticles.Meldonsatdownatthewriting-tableandwrotealettertohiswife,fullofgoodadviceaboutthemanagementofthebaby.WhenhehadfinisheditherousedtheMajor.

"Itoldyou,"hesaid,"thatI'dhadadisappointingday.Idon'tthinkImentionedtoyouthatthejudge'sobstinacywasbynomeanstheworstpartofit."

"Oh!Soyouattackedsomeoneelsebesidesthejudge."

"Idon'tknowwhetherattackingisquitetherightwordtouse.IcalledinonmywayhomeatthegatelodgeofBallymoyHouse.ThatfellowCallaghanlivesthere,youknow."

"Yes.Didyouurgehimtolieinwaitforthejudgeandshootathim?"

"No;Ididn't.Callaghanhasnothingtodowiththejudgeonewayorother.Hehashisownbusinesstoattendto.IwantedtohearfromhimhowSimpkinsandMissKinghavebeengettingon."

"Imayaswelltellyou,"saidtheMajor,"thatIdon'tatallcareforthisplanofyoursofsettingservantstospyonpeople,especiallyonladies.Itdoesn'tstrikemeashonourable,andIwishyou'dstopit.WhatdidCallaghantellyou?"

"MydearMajor,yourscruplesareperfectlyridiculous.I'mnotaskingCallaghantoreporttomeMissKing'sprivateconversations,ortoreadherletters,oranythingofthatsort.ImerelywanttoknowwhetherSimpkinskissesher.There'snothingobjectionableaboutthat."



"IshouldsaythatsupposingSimpkinsdid,andshelethim,whichisperfectlyabsurd,forMissKingisn'tthatsortatall,andit'sgrosslyinsultingtotalkofherinthatway--Besides,puttingheroutofthequestion,nowomanthateverlivedcouldbear--"

"Lotsofwomendo.It'sfarcommonerthanyouthink.Ishouldsaythathardlyadaypassesbutsomewomansomewherelets--"

"NotSimpkins.He'ssuchahorridcad."

"Whentheyaremarriedshe'llhaveto,thoughIdaresayitwillhastenSimpkins'endifhedoesittoooften--alwayssupposingthatsheagreeswithyouabouthim.Idon't,asI'vesaidseveraltimes.Ithinkhe'sadecentenoughsortofman,thoughhedoesshowanextraordinarywantofenterpriseinthisbusiness."

"Anyway,"saidtheMajor,"ifanythingofthesorthappened--whichisremotelyunlikely--"

"It'sabsolutelycertain,"saidMeldon,"evenbeforethey'remarried;repeatedly,Ishouldsay."

"Ifitdid,there'snothingMissKingwoulddislikemorethanhavingittalkedabout.Ishouldsaythatshe,oranyotherwoman,wouldbe

absolutelyfuriousatthethoughtofhergardenercreepingupbehindatreeandspyingonwhat,ifitoccursatall,oughttobedoneinthemostconfidentialway,andthengoingandreportingtoyouall--"

"Anyhow,"saidMeldon,"ithasn'thappenedyet,sofarasCallaghanknows.ThatiswhyIsaythatmydayhasbeensuchabitterdisappointment.CallaghantellsmethatthemiserablebeastSimpkinshasn'tbeenneartheplace,orevenseenher,sinceyesterday,whenwehadthembothoutintheSpindrift.Ican'timaginewhyhewon'tmakeuseofhisopportunities.Itoldhimdistinctlythathecouldn'texpecthertorunafterhim,howeveranxiousshewastomarryhim."

"Perhapshedoesn'twanttomarryher."

"Hewantstoallright,buthe'ssuchawretchedlyinefficientbeastthathewon'tturntoanddoit.I'venopatiencewiththatsortofdilly-dallying.Ishallgodownto-morrowandspeaktohimaboutitagain."

"Takecarethejudgedoesn'tcatchsightofyou."

"Idon'tmindintheleastifhedoes,"saidMeldon."Thatwon'tmatter.WhatIhavegottotakecareaboutisthathedoesn'tcatchsightofeitherMissKingorSimpkins.Idon'tknowwhetheryouquiterealise,Major,thataslongasthatjudgeisinBallymoywearelivingontheedgeofavolcano.Thesmallestsparkmightsetthethingoff

andcauseanalarmingexplosion."

"Dosparkssetoffvolcanoes?"

"That,Isuppose,isthekindofremarkthatyouconsiderclever.Asamatteroffact,itissimplyanevidenceofyourmentalsluggishness.Mythoughtshadpassedon,byaperfectlynaturaltransition,fromvolcanoestopowdermagazines,whicharethingsthatsparksdosetoff.AnyonewithevenamoderateamountofwhatImaycallmentalagilitywouldhavefollowedmewithoutanydifficulty,andrefrainedfrom



askingyourveryfoolishquestion.Butitisdifficulttobeliteralenoughtopleaseyou.WhatIoughttohavesaid,whatIwouldhavesaidifIhadrealisedatthemomentthatIwastalkingtoyou,isthis.Wearelivingthekindoflifecomparabletothatofthepeoplewhosecottagesarebuiltroundtheedgeofthecraterofanactivevolcano,liabletoeruptatanymoment;or,tochangethemetaphor,ourpositionbearsacertainresemblancetothatofthecarelessworkmanwhosmokesapipeonthetopofabarrelofblastingpowder,andifwe'renotextremelycarefulwe'llfindourselvesscatteredaboutinlittlebits,liketheboywhostoodontheburningdeck.Haveyouanyfaulttofindwiththatwayofexpressingmythought?orwouldyouliketohaveitstillfurtheramplified?"

"WhatIsupposeyoumean,"saidtheMajor,"isthatthisjudgeofyoursmaypossiblyrecogniseMissKingasMrs.Lorimer."

"Precisely."

"Well,hewon't.Soyoucanmakeyourmindeasyaboutthat.Andifhedid--"

"Haveyouanyreasonstoadduceinsupportofyourassertion,"saidMeldon;"orareyousimplycontradictingmeforthesakeofbeingdisagreeable?"

"Ihaveonegoodreason."

"Thentrotitout.Ishallbedelightedtohearit,ifitreallyisagoodreason.Nothingappealstomemorestronglythanaconvincingargument.Butdon'twastemytimeandyourownwithsomefoolishtheorywhichwouldn'tcarryconvictiontoanaudienceofpoliticiansatanelectionmeeting."

"Mineisagoodreason,thebestpossible.Itis--"

"ItmustbeverygoodindeedifitistogetoverthefactthatMrs.Lorimer'sfeaturesareburnedintothatjudge'sbrain,owingtohis

havingbeenobligedtostareatherfortenwholedays."

"It'sthis,"saidtheMajor."Hecan'trecogniseMissKingasMrs.Lorimer,becausesheisn'tMrs.Lorimer.I'mconvincedofthat."

"I'mtrying,"saidMeldon,"tobeaspatientwithyouasIcan.Manymenwouldthrowsomethingheavyatyourheadforsayingthat.Idon't.InspiteofthefactthatIspenthoursprovingtoyoubyabsolutelyirrefragableevidencethatMissKingisMrs.Lorimer,Iamstillpreparedtolistenquietlytowhatyouhavetosay.WhatconvincesyouthatMissKingisn'tMrs.Lorimer?"

"Thewomanherself.Iknowsheisn'tamurderess.Shecan'tpossibly

be,andnoamountofevidencewillmakemethinksheis."

"You'veseenhertwice,"saidMeldon;"onceonSundayafternoonwhenshehadjustbeentochurch,andwasinachastenedandgentlemoodowingtotheeffectofmysermononher,whenthelethalsideofhercharacterwastemporarilyinabeyance.Youcouldn'tformmuchofanopinionaboutherrealcharacteratatimelikethat.Theotheroccasiononwhichyousawherwaswhenshewassea-sick,andnowomanishertrueselfwhenshe'sprofoundlyhumiliated.Yet,onthestrengthofthesetwointerviews,youareapparentlypreparedto



contradicttheresultofacarefulinductionofmineandthelady'sownexpressstatement.Idon'tknowhowyoumanagetoworkyourselfintoaframeofmindinwhichthatispossible."

"Asamatteroffact,"saidtheMajor,"I'veseenherthreetimes."

"Twice."

"No;threetimes.Thethirdtime--"Hepaused.

"Well?"

"Ispenttheafternoonwithherto-day,"saidtheMajorsheepishly,"whileyouwereatDonardwiththejudge."

"Idon'twonder,"saidMeldon,"thatyou'reashamedofyourself.IbegintoseenowwhySimpkinshasbehavedintheextraordinarywayhehas.Iwasinclinedtoblamehimatfirst.Infact,I'mafraidIsaidratherhardthingsabouthim.IadmitnowthatIwaswrong.Simpkinscouldn'tandwouldn'tgonearherwhileyouwerethere.Itwouldhavebeennouseifhehad.Imustsay,Major,youareamostdifficultmantoworkwith.HereI'vebeensacrificingthewholeofmyshortholidaytocarryingthroughadifficultnegotiationforyourbenefit,andallyoudoistobalkmeateveryturn,toflingobstaclesinmyway,to

fouleveryropeI'mtryingtogetapullon.HowcanImarrySimpkinstoMissKingifyouwon'tlethimgonearher?"

"Shewon'tmarryhim,J.J.;soyoumayputtheideaoutofyourheadonceforall.Shedoesn'tlikehim."

"Isuppose,"saidMeldon,"thatyouspenttheafternooncrabbinghim;sayingalltheevilyoucouldthinkofabouthim.Butyou'vewastedyourtime.MissKing'sviewsofmarriageareentirelyunconventional.Shedoesn'tmarryherhusbandswiththeintentionoflivingwiththem.Thelessshelikesamanthemorewillingsheistomarryhim,becauseshe'llfeellesscompunctionafterwardsifshethoroughlydetestsherhusbandtostartwith."

"Shewon'tmarrySimpkins,anyhow,"saidtheMajorobstinately.

"Didshetellyouso?"

"Notinplainwords.Igatheredthatshewouldn'tfromthewayshespokeofhim."

"You'vegathered,asyoucallit,somanyentirelywrongthingsfromthewayMissKingspeaks,thatyoucanplaceabsolutelynorelianceonthisimpressionofyours.Yougathered,forinstance,thatsheisn'tMrs.Lorimer."

"Idid."

"Andyouarewrongaboutthat,sothechancesarethatyou'rewrongaboutthistoo.IseenoreasontoaltermyopinionthatshewillmarryandafterwardskillSimpkinsassoonasevershegetsthechance."

CHAPTERXVI.



MajorKent,whowasatheartaverykindlyman,andhadbesidesagenuineaffectionforMeldon,repentedduringthenightofhisfitofbadtemper.Hewassorrythathehadgrumbledaboutthespoilingofhisdinner.WhilehewasshavinginthemorninghemadeuphismindtoenterassympatheticallyaspossibleintoMeldon'splans,whatevertheymightbe.

"Whatareyouthinkingofdoingwithyourselfto-day?"heaskedatbreakfast."IfyouwanttogointoBallymoytoragthatjudgeagainIcanletyouhavethecob."

"Thanks,"saidMeldon,"butIthinkthejudgemaybeleftaloneforthepresent.Thewisestlineformetotakeinthiscaseistoallowtheparaffinoiltosoakin.Ihardlythinkitwillbenecessaryformetoseehimagain.He'llprobablyleavebythemid-daytrain.Thefactis,I'mthinkingoftakingahalf-holiday."

"Do,"saidtheMajor."Afterwhatyouwentthroughyesterdayyoumustwant--"

"No,Idon't.AndI'mnotthekindofmanwhopretendsthathetakesholidaysbecausehefindsthemnecessaryforhishealth.ItakethemsimplybecauseIenjoythem."

"Wemight,"saidtheMajor,"haveadayintheSpindrift."

"Isaidahalf-holiday,"saidMeldon."IntheafternoonImustgoinandexplaintoSimpkinsthatyoudon'treallymeananythingbyyourratherpronouncedattentionstoMissKing."

TheMajorsighed.HehadnodoubtthatMeldonwoulddoexactlyashesaid,andheforesawfreshcomplicationsofamostembarrassingkind.Still,ahalf-holidaywassomethingtobethankfulfor.

"Wemight,"hesaid,"haveasailinthemorningandcomebackforlunch."

"No,"saidMeldon,"wecan'tdothat.There'snotabreathofwind.But,withoutactualsailing,wemightspendapleasantandrestfulmorningonboardtheyacht."

"Doyoumeansimplytositondeckwhileshe'satanchor?"

"Irathercontemplatedlyingdown,"saidMeldon,"withmyheadonalife-buoy."

"Idon'tthinkI'dcareforthat.Itstrikesmeasratherwasteoftime."

"Itwouldbeforyou,Major,andIdon'tadviseyoutodoit.Mytimewon'tbewasted,forIshalluseitprofitably.Ishalltakeaquantityoftobaccoandatinofbiscuits.Youcanletmehavesomebiscuits,Isuppose?"

"Certainly.Andyou'llfindabottleofbeeronboard,whichSimpkinscouldn'tdrinkatluncheontheotherday,butImustsaythat,ifthat'syourideaofaprofitableuseofyourtime--"

"Itisn't.Thetobaccoandthebiscuitsaremereaccessories.WhatI



reallymeantodevotemymorningtoismeditation.Oneofthegreatestmistakeswemakenowadaysisnotgivingsufficienttimetoquietthought.Wegohustlingalongthroughlifedoingthingswhichoughtnottobedoneinahurry,andwhenphysicalexhaustionforcesustopauseforamoment,werunoureyesoverprintedmatterofsomekind--newspapers,magazines,orbooks--andnevergiveasinglehourfromoneyear'sendtoanothertomeditation."

"Whatdoyouintendtomeditateabout,J.J.?ThatGermanphilosopherofyours,Isuppose."

"Ihaven'tsettledthatyet,"saidMeldon."Ifthere'sanyaffairofyours,eitherpractical,oranintellectualdifficulty,whichyouwanttohavecarefullythoughtout,nowisyourtime.I'lldevotemyselftoitwithpleasure."

"Thanks,"saidtheMajor,"butthereisn't."

"Areyouquitesure?Achancelikethisdoesn'toccureveryday."

"Quitesure;thanks."

"InthatcaseIshallfirstofallmeditateonSimpkins,MissKing,andthejudge.Sayanhourandahalfforthem.ThenIshallconsiderthe

subjectofmylittledaughter'seducation.Nowthatthevariousprofessionsareopeningtheirdoorstowomen,it'smostimportanttohaveareasonedoutschemeofeducationforagirl,andyoucan'tgetatittoosoon.Thesetwosubjects,Ithink,willmakeatolerablycompleteprogrammeforthemorning.Ifyouringabelloutsidethedooratoneo'clock,Ishallrowintoluncheon.Ishallbeprettyhungrybythattime,Iexpect,inspiteofthebiscuits."

Meldoncarriedouthisplansuccessfullyforthefirstpartofthemorning.Hearrangedthebiscuits,histobaccopouch,andaboxofmatchesinconvenientplaces;laiddownalife-buoyasapillow,andstretchedhimselfatfulllengthonthedeck.Afteratimeheshuthiseyes,sothatnoinsistentvisionoftheSpindrift'sriggingshould

interrupttheworkingofhisthought.Athalf-pastelevenhewashailedfromtheshore.Heraisedhimselfslightly,and,leaningonhiselbow,lookedoverthegunwaleoftheyacht.MajorKentstoodonthebeach.

"Anythingwrong?"shoutedMeldon.

"No.Nothing,exceptthatDoyleisupatthehousewantingtoseeyou,andheseemstobeinanuncommonlybadtemper."

"I'mnotgoingtodragmyselfallthewayuptothehousetogratifysomewhimofDoyle's.Ifhethinkshehasagrievance,lethimcomedowntotheshoreandI'llpacifyhim."

"Verywell,"saidtheMajor."I'llbringhim.Yourowashoreandbereadywhenhecomes."

"Ishalldonothingofthesort.Icanshoutathimfromhere.Hecan'tpossiblyhaveanybusinessofaconfidentialkind.Hemerelywantstobesootheddownaboutsometrifle,andthatcanbedonejustaswellfromadistance."

AquarterofanhourlaterMajorKenthailedMeldonagain;thistimehe



hadDoylewithhimontheshore.Meldonsatuponhislife-buoy,andleanedbothelbowsontheboom.

"That'sright,Major,"heshouted."You'vebroughthimdown.Juststaywhereyouare.Iwon'tkeepyoulong.Nowthen,Doyle!Iunderstandthatyouareinanabominablybadtemperaboutsomething,andhavecomedownherewiththeintentionofworkingitoffonme.ImaytellyouthatIdon'tatallcareforbeinginterruptedwhileI'mmeditating;andasageneralruleIsimplyrefusetodoanybusinessuntilI'vefinished.However,asyou'reanoldfriend,I'mmakinganexceptioninyourcase.CanyouhearwhatIsay?"

"Icannot,"shoutedDoyle,"nornobodycould."

"Youcan,"saidMeldon."Ifyoucouldn't,howdidyouanswerme?"

"Wecan't,"saidtheMajor,shakinghisheadvigorously.

Meldonpulledthepuntalongsidetheyacht,gotintoherandrowedtowardstheshore.Whenhewaswithinabouttenyardsofit,heswungthepuntroundandrestedonhisoarsfacingDoyleandMajorKent.

"Now,"hesaid,"trotoutyourgrievance;butspeakbrieflyandtothepoint.Ican'tandwon'thavemymorningwasted.Ifyoumeanderin

yourstatements,Ishallsimplyrowbackagaintotheyachtandleaveyouthere."

"It'sacuriousthing,"saidDoyle,"thatagentlemanlikeyouwouldfindapleasureinpreventingapoormanfromearninghisliving."

Hespoketruculently.Hewasevidentlyveryangryindeed.

"Don't,"saidMeldon,"wanderoffintogeneralitiesandsillyspeculationsaboutthingswhicharen'tfacts.Sofarfromtakingapleasureinpreventingpoormenfromliving,I'malwaysparticularlyanxioustohelpthemwhenIcan."

"Youdidn'thelpmethenwithyourdamnedtricks,thelikeofwhichnogentlemanoughttoplay."

"Ifyourefertoyourselfasapoorman,"saidMeldon,"you'resimplytellingalie.You'rerich,nobodyknowshowrich,butrichenoughtobuyupeveryothermaninthetownofBallymoy."

"AndifIwasitself,isthatanyreasonwhythemthatwouldbestayinginmyhotelshouldbehuntedoutofit?"

"AreyoutalkingaboutSirGilbertHawkesby?"

"Iam,"saidDoyle."WhoelsewouldIhaveinmymind?"

"Andishegone?"

"Heisnotgoneyet?buthe'sgoingwithoutsomethingwouldbedonetostophim."

"I'mgladtohearit.Ihardlyhopeditwouldhavehappenedsosoon.Itoldyou,Major,thatIwasappealingtohimintherightway."

"It'salossofthreepoundsaweektome,"saidDoyle,"without



reckoningwhathemighttaketodrink.I'llbeexpectingyoutomakethatgoodtome--youandtheMajorbetweenyou."

"Itwasthecookingdidit,Isuppose,"saidMeldon.

"Thatandthestatehisbedwasin,"saidDoyle."Itwascloseoneleveno'clocklastnight,andIwassittingsmokingquietandeasyalongwiththedoctor,whentherecameanoiselikeasifsomeonewouldberingingabell,andhiminahurry.Itwasthedoctordrewmyattentiontoitfirst;butItoldhimhe'dbettersitwherehewas,foritwasSabina'sbusinesstogouptoanyonethatwouldringabell.Well,theringingwentonterriblestrong,formaybetenminutes,and--"

"Sabinafunkedit,Isuppose,"saidMeldon.

"Shedidbeindread,"saidDoyle,"onaccountofthewaythebellwasgoing,notknowingwhattheremightbeattheotherendofit.That'swhatshesaidanyway,andIbelieveher.Thedoctorspoketoher,encouragingher,thewayshe'dgoandseewhateveritmightbe,andwe'dbeatpeaceagain.Butforallhesaidtohershewouldn'tmoveaninch.ThenItoldthedoctorthatmaybehe'dbettergohimself,foritcouldbethatthegentlemanwasill.'It'shardlyever,'Isaid,'thatamanwouldringabellthewaythatone'sbeingrungwithoutthere'dbesomekindofasicknessonhim.It'llbeapoundintoyour

pocket,doctor,andmaybemore,'Isaid,'ifyougetathimatoncebeforethepainleaveshim.'"

"IshouldthinkO'Donoghuejumpedatthat,"saidMeldon.

"Hedidnotthen,buthesattherelookingkindoffrightened,thesameasSabinadid;likeasiftheremightbesomethingthatthejudgewouldwanttobeblamingonhim.AtthelatterendIhadtogomyself.Itwasinhisbedroomhewas,anddevilsuchastateeveryousawashehadtheplacein.Thesheetsandtheblanketswasoffthebed,scatteredhereandthereaboutthefloor,andthepillowalongwiththem.Itwaslikeasifthey'dbeenholdingameetingabouttheland,andthepolicewereafterinterferingwithit,suchascatterationas

therewas.Ihadn'tthedoorhardlyopenedbeforehewasatme.'Youdetestablevillain,'sayshe,'whatdoyoumeanbyaskingmetosleepinabedlikethat?Isn'titenoughforyoutohavemenearpoisonedwithparaffinoilwithout--''Ifthere'shellraisedonthebed,'saidI,'andIdon'tdenybutthereis,it'syourselfrizit.Thebedwasniceenoughbeforeyoustartedonit.Ihadthesheetsdampedwiththestuffthedoctorgiveme--'"

"Didyousaythat?"askedMeldon,pushingthepuntalittlenearertotheshore.

"Idid,andifhewasmadbeforehewasmadderafter.Iofferedtofetchthedoctoruptohim,buthewouldn'tlistentoawordIsaid.

Itwastwelveo'clockandmorebeforeIgothimquieteneddown,andIwouldn'tsayhewaswhatyou'dcallproperlypacifiedthen.HewasgrowlinglikeadogwouldwhenIlefthim,andsayinghe'dhaveitoutwithmeinthemorning."

"Idaresay,"saidMeldon,"hewasworseafterhegothisbreakfast."

"Hewas,"saidDoyle."ItwasSabinahegotaholdofthen;for,thanksbetoGod,Iwasoutintheyardseeingafterthecarthatwastodrivehimuptotheliver.Hewentdownintothekitchenafter



Sabina,andheaskedherwhatthedevilshemeantbyupsettingonelampoverhisdinnerandanotheroverhisbreakfast.Sabinaupandtoldhimstraighttohisfacethatitwasyoudoneit."

"Whataliarthatgirlis!"saidMeldon.

"J.J."saidtheMajor,"didyoudoit?"

"No.Ididn't.HowcouldIpossiblyhavebeenupsettinglampsinDoyle'shotelwhenIwassittinginyourhousetalkingtoyou?Don'tloseyourhead,Major."

"Sabinatoldmeafter,"saidDoyle,"thatitwasbyyourordersshedidit."

"That'smorelikethetruth,"saidMeldon."Ifshe'dconfinedherselftothatstatementwhenshewastalkingtothejudge,Ishouldn'thavecomplained.Ididn'texactlytellherthatshewastoupsetthelamp,butIdidsaythatshewastoflavoureverythingthejudgegottoeatwithparaffinoil."

"It'saqueerthingthatyou'ddothelike,"saidDoyle,"knowingwellallthetimethatnomanwouldstaywherehecouldn'tgetabitetoeat,andthatI'dbelosingthreepoundsaweekbyhisgoing."

"Ifyouunderstoodthecircumstancesthoroughly,"saidMeldon,"youwouldjoyfullysacrificenotonlythreepounds,butifnecessarythirtypounds,aweektogetridofthatjudge."

"Iwouldnot,"saidDoyleconfidently."Iwouldn'tturnawayanymanthatwaspayingme,notifhewasdownherewithordersfromtheGovernmenttoputmeinjailonaccountofsomemeetingthattheLeaguewouldbehaving."

"Doyouordoyounot,"saidMeldon,"wanttogetridofSimpkins?"

"Ido,ofcourse.Sure,everybodydoes."

"Verywell.InordertosecurethedeathofSimpkinsitwasnecessarytohuntawaythatjudge.Ican'texplainthewholeins-and-outsofthebusinesstoyou.It'srathercomplicated,andIdoubtifyou'dunderstandit.Inanycase,Ican'tgointoitwithoutbetrayingalady'sconfidence,andthat'sathingIneverdo.Butyoumaytakemywordforitthatit'sabsolutelynecessarytoremovethejudgeifyouaretohavethepleasureofburyingSimpkins.Ifyoudon'tbelievewhatIsayasktheMajor.Heknowsallaboutit."

"No;Idon't,"saidMajorKent.

"Youdo,"saidMeldon."What'stheuseofdenyingitwhenItoldyou

thewholeplanmyself?"

"Anyway,"saidtheMajor,"Iwon'tbedraggedintoit.I'venothingwhatevertodowithit,andI'vealwaysdisapprovedofitfromthestart.YouandDoylemustsettleitbetweenyouwithoutappealingtome."

"Youcanseefromthewayhespeaks,"saidMeldontoDoyle,"thatheknowsjustaswellasIdothatwemustgetthejudgeoutofBallymoy."



"OutofBallymoy?"saidDoyle.

"Yes,"saidMeldon,"clearawayfromtheplacealtogether.BacktoEnglandifpossible."

"Well,then,he'snotgone,"saidDoyle."Soifit'sthatyouwantyou'reasbadlyoffthisminuteasIammyself.He'snotgone,andwhat'smorehewon'tgo."

"Youtoldmethisminutethathewasgone.Whatonearthdoyoumeanbycominguphereandpouringoutlamentationsingallonsaboutthelossofyourthreepoundsaweekifhehasn'tgone?Whatdoyoumeanbyrepresentingtomethatthejudgeusedbadlanguageabouthisfoodifhedidn't?Idon'tseewhatyou'reat,Doyle;and,tobequitecandid,Idon'tthinkyouknowyourself.Gohomeandthinkthewholebusinessover,andI'llseeyouaboutitintheafternoon."

"EverywordItoldyouisthetruth."

"Eitherthejudgeisgone,"saidMeldon,"orheisn'tgone.Whatdoyoumean?"

"WhatIsaidwas,thatheisn'tgoneyetbuthe'sgoing,withoutsomething'sdonetostophim."

"That'sthesamething,"saidMeldon,"fornothingwillbedone."

"Buthe'llnotgofromBallymoy?Whywouldhewhenhehasthefishingtook?"

"He'llhavetogooutofBallymoyifheleavesyourhotel.Hemaythinkhe'llgetlodgingssomewhereelse,buthewon't.Orhemayexpecttofindsomeotherhotel,butthereisn'tone.Ifhehasleftyouit'sthesamethingasleavingBallymoy."

"Itisnot,"saidDoyle,"andI'lltellyouwhyit'snot."

"Hasheatentwithhim?"saidMeldon."Hedoesn'tlooklikeamanwhowouldcareforcampingout,butofcoursehemighttryit."

"HehasnotentthatIseen,"saidDoyle."ButI'lltellyouwhathappened.Assoonaseverhe'dfinishedcursingSabinahesaidthecarwastocomeround,becausehewasgoingoffout.Well,itcame;forIwasintheyardmyself,asItoldyouthisminute,andIseentoitthatitcameroundindoublequicktime,hopingthatmaybeI'dpacifyhimthatway."

"Withmycushionsonit?"saidtheMajor.

"Hetooknonoticeofthecushions.Inthetemperhewasinatthe

timehewouldn'thavesaidacivilwordifyou'dsethimdownoncushionsstuffedfullofgoldensovereigns.Hejusttookalepontothecar--Iwaswatchinghimfromroundthecorneroftheyardgatetoseehowhewouldconducthimself--and--"

"Waitaminute,"saidMeldon."Hadhehisluggagewithhim?"

"Hehadnot."

"Wellthenhecan'thavebeengoingtothetrain."



"Hewasnot.But--"

"Hadhehisrod?"

"Hehadnot.But--"

"He'dhardlyhavegonefishingwithouthisrod,howeverbadhistemperwas.Iwondernowwhereonearthhedidgo."

"It'swhatI'mtryingtotellyou,"saidDoyle,"ifyou'dletmespeak."

"Ifyouknowwherehewent,"saidMeldon,"saysoatonce.What'stheuseofleavingmetowastetimeandenergytryingtodiscoverbyinductivereasoningathingthatyouknowperfectlywellallthetime?"

"It'swhatI'mtryingtodoistotellyou."

"Stoptryingthen,"saidMeldon,"anddoit."

"Hetookaleponthecar,"saidDoyle,"thesameasitmightbeamanthatwasinamightyhurrytobeoff,andsayshetothedriver,'IsthereaplaceherecalledBallymoyHouse?''Thereis,ofcourse,'saidPatsyFlaherty,foritwashimthatwasdrivingthecar."

"BallymoyHouse!"saidMeldon."Nonsense.Hecouldn'thaveaskedforBallymoyHouse."

"It'swhathesaid.Andwhat'smore:'IsittherethatayoungladystopsbythenameofMissKing?'saidhe.'Itis,'saidPatsyFlaherty,'andafineyoungladysheis,thanksbetoGod.''Thendrivethere,'sayshe,'asfastaseveryoucango,andifyouhavesuchathingasabottleofparaffinoilinthewellofthecar,'sayshe,'throwitoutbeforeyoustart.'Well,ofcourse,therewasnooilinthecar.Whywouldthere?"

"IfMr.MeldonhadseenPatsyFlahertylastnight,"saidtheMajor,

"thereprobablywouldhavebeen."

"Doyoumeantosay,"saidMeldon,"thathedrovestraightofftoseeMissKing?"

"It'swherehetoldthedrivertogo,anyway,"saidDoyle,"andit'stherehewentwithouthechangedhismindontheway.WhatIwasthinkingwasthatmaybehe'sacquaintedwithMissKing."

"Heis,"saidMeldon."Iknowthat.Idon'tbelievethathe'severspokentoherexceptinpublic,buthecertainlyknowswhosheis."

"WhatI'mthinking,"saidDoyle,"isthatheintendedaskingifhe

mightgouptothebighouseandstaytherealongwithherforsuchtimeashemightbeinBallymoy."

"Hecan'thavedonethat,"saidMeldon."TherearereasonswhichtheMajorunderstands,thoughyoudon't,whichrenderthatideaquiteimpossible.Speakingonthespurofthemoment,andwithoutthinkingthematteroutthoroughly,IaminclinedtosupposethatheconnectsMissKingwiththeconditionofhisbedlastnightandthepersistentflavourofparaffinoilinhisfood.He'sprobablygoneuptospeaktoheraboutthat."



"Hecouldn't,"saidDoyle,"forSabinaGallaghertoldhimitwasyou."

"Hewouldn'tbelieveSabina,"saidMeldon,"andhehaseveryreasontosuspectMissKingofwantingtoscoreoffhim.IthinkImaytellyou,Doyle,withoutanybreachofconfidence,thatMissKinghasastoneuphersleevetothrowatthatjudge.Hetriedtodoherabadturnsomeweeksago,andshe'sjustthewomantoresentit."

"Buttheyoungladywasneverintheinsideofmyhouse,andneverseteyesonSabina.Howcoulditbethatshe--"

"Iknowwhatyou'regoingtosay,"saidMeldon."Shecouldn'thavehadanythingtodowiththeCondy'sFluidortheparaffinoil.That'strue,ofcourse.Butmypointisthatthejudge,puzzledbyanextraordinarycombinationofcircumstances,alltendingtomakehimuncomfortable,wouldnaturallythinkMissKingwasatthebottomofthem.TheonethingIdon'tquiteunderstandishowhecametoknowshewasinBallymoy.I'llfindthatoutlateron.InthemeanwhileIthinkI'dbettergointoBallymoyafterall.It'sanuisance,forIwasextremelycomfortableontheyacht,butIcan'tleavethingsinthemuddlethey'reinnow,andthere'snobodyelseabouttheplaceIcouldtrusttoclearthemup."

CHAPTERXVII.

"YoumayaswelldrivemeintoBallymoy,Doyle,"saidMeldon,astheywalkeduptogetherfromtheshore."You'veyourtrapwithyou,Isuppose?"

"Ihave,andI'lldriveyouofcourse,butI'llbeexpectingthatyou'lldosomethingwhenwegettherethewaythejudgewon'tbeleavingthehotelaltogether."

"Youmayputthatoutofyourheadatonce,"saidMeldon,"forI'lldonothingofthesort.I'vealreadyexplainedtoyouatsomelengththatmychiefobjectatpresentistochaseawaythejudge,notonlyfromyourhotelbutfromBallymoy."

Doylerelapsedintoasulkysilence.HedidnotspeakagainuntilheandMeldonwerehalfwayintoBallymoy.Thenhebrokeoutsuddenly.

"Anyway,"hesaid,"SabinaGallagherwon'tspendanothernightundermyroof.She'llbeoffbacktohermotherassoonasevershecangetherclothespacked.I'llgiveheralessonthatwillcureherofplayingofftricksonthegentlementhatstopsinmyhotel."

"IfyoutakethatkindofrevengeonSabina,"saidMeldon,"youwillbedoinganactofgrossinjusticeforwhichyouwillbesorryuptothedayofyourdeath."

"Iwillnot,butI'llbeservingheroutthewayshedeserves."

"Shehasbeenactingallthrough,"saidMeldon,"inyourinterests,thoughyoucan'tseeit;andyou'llmakeakindofdogGelertofherifyousackhernow.YouknowallaboutthedogGelert,Isuppose,Doyle?"



"Idonot,"saidDoyle,"andwhat'smoreIdon'tcareiftherewasfiftydogsinit.Sabina'llgo.Dogs!WhathasdogsgottodowithSabinaandmyself?It'snotdogsI'mthinkingofnow."

"Youevidentlydon'tknowanythingaboutthedogI'mspeakingof,"saidMeldon."HebelongedtoaWelshkingwhosenameatthismomentIforget.Thekingalsohappenedtohaveababywhichslept,asmanybabiesdo,inacradle.You'relisteningtome,Isuppose,Doyle?"

"Iamnot,"saidDoyle."It'slittlegoodI,oranyotherbody,wouldgetbylisteningtoyou.SabinaGallagherlistenedtoyou,andlookatthewaysheisnow.It'smybeliefthatthelessanybodylistenstoyouthebetteroffhe'llbe."

"Allthesame,Iexpectyouarelistening,"saidMeldon."Inanycase,asI'mspeakingdistinctly,andyoucan'tgetaway,you'reboundtohear,soI'llgoonwiththestory.Onedaythekingcameinandfoundthedogclosetothecradlewithhismouthallcoveredwithblood.Heleapedtotheconclusionthathe'deatenthebaby."

"Hewasadamnedfoolifhethoughtthat,"saidDoyle."Whoeverheardofadogeatingababy?"

"Youarelisteningtome,"saidMeldon."Ithoughtyouwouldwhenthe

storybegantogetinteresting.Andyou'reperfectlyright.Thekingwasafool.Hewassuchafoolthathekilledthedog.Afterwardsitturnedoutthatthedoghadreallybeenbehavinginthemostnoblewaypossible--had,infact,beenfightingawolfwhichwantedtoeatthebaby.Thenthekingwassorry,frightfullysorry,becausehesawthatthroughhisownhastyandill-consideredactionhehadkilledhisbestfriend,afriendwhoallalonghadbeenactinginhisinterests.Youseethepointofthatstory,don'tyou?You'llbeexactlyinthepositionoftheking,andyou'llsufferendlessremorsejustashedidifyougoandsackSabina."

Doylemeditatedonthestory.Itproducedacertaineffectonhismind,forhesaid,--

"Ifsobeitwasn'tSabinathatputtheparaffinoilintothejudge'sdinner,butsomeotheronecominginunbeknowntoher,andSabinamaybedoingherbesttostopit,thenofcoursetherewouldn'tbeanotherwordsaidaboutit;thoughassoonaseverIfoundoutwhoitwas--"

"Youmustn'tpushtheparabletothoseextremes,"saidMeldon."Noparablewouldstandit.Sabinadidpourintheparaffinoil.I'mnotpretendingthatawolforanyanimalofthatsortcameinandmeddledwiththejudge'sfood.I'mmerelytryingtoexplaintoyouthatlateron,whenyouunderstandallthecircumstances,you'llfindyourselftearingoutyourhair,andrubbingsack-clothandashesintoyourskin,justasthekingdidwhenherealisedwhathehaddoneinthecaseof

thedogGelert.AswellasIrecollectthepoormannevergotoverit."

"Dogsornodogs,"saidDoyle,"SabinaGallagherwillhavethewagesduetoherpaid,andthenoffwithheroutofmyhouse.ForconductthelikeofhersiswhatIwon'tstand,andwhatnobodyinahotelwouldstand."

"Verywell,"saidMeldon;"I'vetoldyouwhattheconsequencesofyouractionwillbe.Ifyouchoosetofacethemyoucan.I'vedonemybesttosaveyou.Butyouareevidentlybentongoingyourownway.I



daresayyoumaybequiterightinsupposingthatyouwon'tsuffermuch,evenwhenyoufindoutthatyouhavecommittedagrossinjustice.Afterall,itrequiresamantohavesomesortofaconsciencetosufferinthatsortofway,andyouapparentlyhavenone.Butthere'sanotherconsiderationaltogetherthatI'dliketobringunderyournotice.I'vehadsometalkwithSabinaduringthelastfewdays,andI'vecometotheconclusionthatshe'sayoungwomanwithatalentforcookingofaveryrareandhighkind.There'snothingthatgirlcouldn'tdoifshegotalittleencouragement.Giveherthesmallesthintandsheactsonitatonce."

"IwishtoGodthen,"saidDoyle,"thatyou'dheldofffromgivingherhints,asyoucallit.OnlyforyouIdon'tbelieveshe'deverhavethought--"

"I'mnotspeakingnowoftheparaffinoilbusiness.Youmustn'tallowthattobecomeanobsessionwithyou,Doyle.Thereareotherthingsintheworldbesidesthatjudge'smeals.Asithappens,IwasgivingSabinaashortlectureontheartofcookerysomedaysbeforeIheardofthejudge'sarrival.Iwasspeakingtoherabouttheadvisabilityofknockingtogetheranoccasionalomeletteforyou,oranicelittlesavourymadeofolivesandhard-boiledeggs.Ifoundherunusuallyreceptive,andquitepreparedtofollowuptheideasIputbeforeher.Therewasjustonethingstoodinherway--"

"Who'deatthelikeofthemthings?"saidDoyle.

"Youwould,"saidMeldon,"ifyougotthem.Butyouwon't,notfromSabinaGallagher,becauseyou'redeterminedtosackher.Andnotfromanyothercookaslongasyoupaytheperfectlymiserablewagesyoudoatpresent.Youcan'texpectfirst-rateresultswhenyousweatyouremployees.That'sawell-knownmaximineverybusiness,andthesooneryougetitintoyourheadthebetter.YousetyourselfuphereinBallymoyasasortofpioneerofeverykindofprogress.You'rethepresidentofasmanyleaguesandthingsaswouldsinkalargeboat.Thereisn'thardlyaweekintheyearbutyoumakeaspeechofsomesort.Ah!hereweareatthehotel.Remindmesometimeagainto

finishwhatIwassayingtoyou.Imustfindoutnowwhathashappenedtothejudge."

Heleapedoutofthetrapandwalkedstraightthroughthehoteltothekitchen.HefoundSabinathere.

"Goodmorning,SabinaGallagher,"hesaid."IhearyoudidexactlyasItoldyou.You'reagoodgirl,Mr.Doyleisangryjustatpresent,andyou'dbetterkeepoutofhisway."

"He'llhuntme,"saidSabina.

"Hewillnot,"saidMeldon."Ifyouhavethesensetokeepoutofhis

wayuntilhehascooleddownabit,andcookhimdecentdinnersinthemeanwhile.I'vespokentohimverystronglyaboutyou,andIdon'tthinkhe'lldaretopushmatterstoextremities,althoughhemaygrumbleabit.Ifhecatchesyou,andyoufindhistemperparticularlybad,justmentionthedogGelerttohim.Itoldhimthestorythismorninganditproducedagreatimpressiononhismind."

"He'llhuntme,"saidSabinatearfully."WhateverdogImighttalktohimabouthe'llhuntme."



"Ifhedoes,"saidMeldon,"I'llengageyoumyself.We'llbewantingagirlassoonaseverwegohome,tolookafterthebabyabitanddothecookingandwashing,andkeepthewholeplacecleangenerally.You'dliketocomeandliveinthehousewithme,wouldn'tyou,Sabina?"

"I'mnotsurewouldI."

"Youwould.There'snodoubtaboutit.Butweneednotdiscussthatyet,forIdon'texpectMr.Doylewillsackyou.WhatIreallywanttotalktoyouaboutisthatjudge.Whereisthejudge?"

"He'sgone,"saidSabina.

"Iknowthat,"saidMeldon."Buthe'llcomebackallright.Hemustcomebackforhisluggage."

"Hewillnotthen.It'snotanhouragosincePatsyFlaherty,thesamethatdoesbedrivingthecar,cameinandsaidhehadorderstotakealltheluggagetherewasandthefishing-rods,andtherestofwhatevertheremightbeintheplacebelongingtothegentleman."

"Hewasnottakingthemtothetrain,Isuppose?"

"Hewasnotthen,butuptoBallymoyHouse."

"Nonsense!Hecouldn'tpossiblyhavebeentakingthemuptoBallymoyHouse."

"It'swhathesaidanyway,forIaskedhim.Andhetoldmethatthegentlemanhaditmadeupwiththeyoungladythatdoesbestoppingtherebeyond,thewayhe'dgoandlivewithher."

"This,"saidMeldon,"isperfectlymonstrous.Imustgoandseeaboutitatonce.HehasevidentlybeenbullyingthatunfortunateMissKing,coercingherwiththreatsuntilshehasagreedtoboardandlodgehim.Ican'thavethatsortofthinggoingonundermyveryeyes.You'llexcuseme,Sabina,ifIrunawayfromyou.It'sabsolutelynecessary

thatIshouldgouptoBallymoyHouseatonce.I'llborrowMr.Doyle'sbicycleagain."

Hewentoutthroughthebackdoorintotheyard,andfoundDoylestablinghispony.

"Isuppose,"hesaid,"thatIcanhaveyourbicycleagain.AffairshavetakenaturnwhichI'mboundtosayIdidnotforesee.Ihavetogetatthatjudgeassoonaspossible.Heseemstohavebeenill-treatingMissKing.Iexpectedthathe'dgoforheroverthatparaffinoilaffair,but--"

"Amn'tItellingyou,"saidDoyle,"thatshe'dneitheractnorpart--"

"Iknowthat;butthejudgethinksshehad,andhe's--You'dhardlybelieveit,Doyle,buthe'shadtheunparalleledinsolencetogoandquarterhimselfonherinBallymoyHouse."

"It'swhatIsaidhe'ddo,"saidDoyle,"andI'mnotsurprised."

"IfyouunderstoodthepeculiaranddelicaterelationswhichexistbetweenthatjudgeandMissKing--butofcourseyoudon't,andI,unfortunately,can'texplainthemtoyou.Ifyoudid,you'dseeat



oncethatthejudgemustsimplyhaveforcedhimselfonMissKing,using,Ihavenodoubt,themostunchivalrousanddespicablethreatstoachievehisend.Consideringthathe'sgettinghisboardandlodgingoutofherhemightverywellbeprosecutedforblackmail.Justconceivetoyourself,Doyle--ButIcan'ttalkaboutit.Where'sthebicycle?"

"YoutookitoutwithyoutoPortsmouthLodgelastnight,"saidDoyle,"andsofarasIknowyoudidn'tbringitbackagain.Butthere'sanoldoneinthestablebelongingtoPatsyFlaherty,andyoucantakethatifyoulike."

"Itcan'tbeworsethanyours,"saidMeldon,"withthatloosepedal.Justyouwheelitroundtothedoorforme,andpumpupthetyresiftheywantit.There'ssomethingIforgottoaskSabina.I'llgothroughthekitchen,andmeetyoubythetimeyouhavethemachineready."

Hedartedintothekitchen,leavingDoyletotieuphisponyandpumpthebicycle.

"Isthatyouback?"saidSabina."Ithoughtyouweregone.Didn'tyoutellmetherewasahurryonyou?"

"I'mjustgoing,"saidMeldon;"butbeforeIstartIwanttoaskyouhowyoumanagedtheboiledegg.Isupposethejudgehadaboiledeggforbreakfast.Didyouputparaffinintoit?"

"Idid."

"How?I'mmostanxioustoknowhowitwasdone."

"It'swhatthegentlemanaskedmehimself,"saidSabina,"andItoldhimthetruth."

"Thentellittome."

"I'mnotsurewillI.Thegentlemanwasterribleupsetwhenheheardit,worsethanyou'dthink;forhehadtheeggate."

"Therecan'thavebeenmuchparaffininit,then."

"Therewasnot;buttherewassome."

"Andhowdidyougetitthere?"

"ItwaswithahairpinIdidit."

"Doyoumeantosaythatyoutookahairpinoutofyourhead,and--"

"Idid,ofcourse.WhereelsewouldIgetone?"

"Anddippeditinparaffin,andthenstuckitthroughtheegg.IdeclareIcouldfinditinmyhearttobesorryforthatjudge.Onlythathedeservesallthathe'sgotonaccountofthewayhehasbehavedtoMissKing,I'dgoandapologisetohim.You'reasmartgirl,Sabina.Ialwayssaidyouwere,andnowyou'veprovedthatIwasperfectlyrightinmyestimateofyourabilities.Good-byeagain.ThistimeIreallymustbeoff."



HeseizedSabina'shand,andgreatlytohersurpriseshookitheartily.Thenheleftthekitchenandslammedthedoorbehindhim.DoylewaswaitingforhimwithPatsyFlaherty'sbicycle.Meldonjumpedonitandrodeoff,ringinghisbellashewentalongthestreet.Doylewatchedhimdisappear,andthenturnedandwalkedintothekitchen.Sabina,forgetfulofhiswrathandherownthreatenedfate,brokeoutwhenshesawhim.

"Wellnow,didanyoneeverseethelike?Many'sthequeeroneI'vecomeacrosssinceIenteredthishouse,butnevertheequalofhimforgoingson.Anybodywouldthinkhewas--"

"It'snotdrink,"saidDoyle."Nobodyeversawthesignofitonhim."

Hewasangry,angrywithSabinaGallagher,andperhapsmoreangrywithMeldon;buthehadasenseofjustice,andwasloyaltothemanwhohadoncebeenhisfriend.HethoughtthatSabinawasgoingtomakeanaccusationwhichmightbenaturalenough,butwascertainlyfalse.Asamatteroffact,shehadnotmeanttosayanythingofthesort,anddisclaimedthesuggestionhotly.

"Iwasn'tsayingitwasdrink.Iknowwellitcouldn'tbe,forhe'sasimple,innocentkindofgentlemanthatwouldn'tdothelike.ButI'dsayhewasonethatlikedabitofsport,anddidn'tcarewhat

foolishnesshemightbeaftersolongashegotit."

ShesmiledamiablyatDoyle,asshespoke;buthewasnotamantobedivertedfromhispurposebysmiles,orlulledintoforgetfulnessbythecharmofgeneralconversation.

"You'llgoupstairsthisminute,SabinaGallagher,"hesaid,"andyou'llpackupwhateverclothesyouhave--andthat'snotmany--andassoonasyouhavethatdoneyou'llgooffhome,forI'llnothaveyouinthishouseanothernight."

"Iwasthinking,"saidSabina,"thatyou'dlikelybesayingthat."

"I'dsaymore,"saidDoyle,"onlyifIdidImightsaywhatI'dbesorryforafter."

"Youmightsurely."

"ThoughIwouldn'tsaymorethanyoudeservewhateverIsaid.Whatinthenameofallthat'sholydidyoumeanbypoisoningthegentlemanthatcameheretostopinthehotel,andwouldhavepaidmethreepoundsaweekandmaybemore?

"ItwasMr.Meldontoldme,"saidSabina,"andhowwasItoknowbutyousentamessagetomebyhim,thewayI'dbedoingwhatitwasyouwanteddone?"

"IsitlikelyI'dsendhimtoyouonamessage?Oughtn'tyoutohavemoresensethantothinkI'dtrustthatonewithamessage?Andwouldn'tanybodythatwasn'tabornfoolknowthatIdidn'twantthelampupsetoverthedinner?"

"Itwasyoutoldmetoputthestuffthedoctorwasaftergivingyouonthesheetsofthegentleman'sbed,andafterthelikeofthatwasdoneonhim,itwouldn'tmakemuchmatterwhatotherdevilmenthe'dhavetoputupwith.Surethere'snothingintheworldworseonamanthana



dampbed,andmeafterairingthemsheetsatthekitchenfireforthebestpartofthemorning,soasnoonewouldhaveittosaythattheywasn'tdry.Ifyoudidn'twanthimhuntedoutofthehouse,whydidyoubidmedothat?"

Doylefelttheforceoftheargument;feltitmoreacutelythanSabinacouldguess.Hehimself,atthebiddingofMeldon,haddonemuchtomakeanhonouredandprofitableguestuncomfortable.CouldhefairlyblameSabinaforactinginasimilarwaywithpreciselythesameexcuse?Hefeltthenecessityforspeakingverysternly.

"Willyougetoutofthis?"hesaid,"forI'mindreadbutImightraisemyhandtoyouifyoustandtheretalkingtomeanymore.You'dprovokethepatienceofasaint;butIwouldn'tliketohaveitcastuptomeafterthateverIstruckyou."

"I'mgoing.Youneedn'tthinkI'mwantingtostay.There'splentywillbegladtogetme,andpaymemorewagesthaneveryoudone."

Doylerecognisedthetruthofthis.HehadgotSabinacheap--cheapevenbythestandardofwageswhichprevailsinConnacht.Hefelthalfinclinedtoreconsiderhisdetermination.Thejudgewasgone.ThedismissalofSabina,thoughapleasantandsatisfyingformofvengeance,wouldnotbringthelostthreepoundsbackagain;while

theremightbeagooddealoftroubleingettinganothercook.

"BeforeIgo,"saidSabina,whodidnotwanttogo,andwaswatchingDoyle'sfaceforsignsofrelenting,"beforeIgoI'veamessagetogiveyoufromMr.Meldon."

"Iseenhimmyselfthismorning,"saidDoyle,"andIdon'tknowwhattherecouldbeinthewayofamessageformethathewouldn'thavetoldmehimself."

"Whathebidmetellyouwasthis--"Sabinapaused."Wellnow,"shesaid,"ifIhaven'tgoneandforgotthenameofthedog!"

"Wasitadogthatakingkilledonetime,"saidDoyle,"onaccountofhisthinkingithadhisbabyate?"

"Itmight,"saidSabina."Itwasaqueernamehehadonit,andIdisrememberwhatitwas."

"Idisrememberitmyself,"saidDoyle,"butitwaslikelythesamedogashewastellingmeaboutwhenIwasdrivinghimin.Healwaysdidhavealikingfordogs,thatsameMeldon."

"Itmightbethatoneoritmightbeanother.Anyway,hethoughtadealofit,forhesaidtomenolaterthanthisminutethatifImentionedthenameofittoyou,youwouldn'thuntme."

"Listentomenow,SabinaGallagher.I'llletyoustayonhere,thoughit'sadealmorethanyoudeserve--I'llletyoustayonanddothecookingthesameasyouusedto,onaccountoftherespectIhaveforyourmother,whoisadecentwoman,andyourfatherthat'sdead--I'llletyoustayonifyou'lltellmethis:Whathadthedogtodoonewayortheotherwiththeparaffinoilyouputonthejudge'sdinner?"

"Ineverseenthedog;andIdon'tknowthatIeverheardtellofanydogdoingthelike."



"Thenwhatareyoutalkingtomeaboutthedogforifitdidn'tdosomething,bethesamelessormore,inthewayofhelpingyoutodestroythejudge'sdinner?"

"ItwasMr.Meldontoldmetomentionthenameofthedogtoyou.AndIwould,I'ddoitthisminute,onlyIdisrememberit."

"Willyouaskhimthenexttimehe'shere,andtellmeafter,whatitwasthedoghadtodowiththematter?"

"Iwill,ofcourse,ifit'spleasingtoyou."

"Thenyoumaystayonabityet,Sabina.Youmaystayontillyoulearnenoughaboutcookingtobeabletobetteryourself;andit'swhatyoushouldbeabletodosoonwiththeopportunitiesthatyouhaveinthishouse.ButI'dlikeifyoucouldfindoutaboutthedog,forMr.Meldonwassayingalotabouthimthismorning,andI'dbethankfulifIknewwhatsortofadoghewas."

CHAPTERXVIII.

Meldonroderapidlywestwardsoutofthetown,inthedirectionofBallymoyHouse.Hesweptroundthesharpcornerandthroughtheentrancegateathighspeed,leaningoversidewaysatsoimpressiveananglethatthesixCallaghanchildren,whowerestandingintheporchofthegatelodge,cheeredenthusiastically.Hedisappearedfromtheirviewbeforetheirshoutssubsided,andrusheduptheavenue.Hereachedthegravelsweepinfrontofthehouse,pressedonbothbrakeswithallhisforce,broughtthebicycletoanabruptstandstill,anddismountedamidawhirlingcloudofdustandsmallstones.Herangthedoorbellfuriously.Findingthatthedoorwasnotimmediatelyopenedherangagain,andthenathirdtime,leavinglessthanhalfaminutebetweenthepeals.Thenamaid,breathless,andinaverybadtemper,

openedthedoorandaskedhimwhathewanted.

"ImustseeMissKingatonce,"saidMeldon,"onmostimportantbusiness."

"MissKingisout,sir,"saidthemaid.

"Whereisshe?Whendidshegoout?Whenwillshebehome?"

Theservantcouldhaveansweredtwoofthethreequestionswithoutdifficulty.SheknewwhenMissKingwentout.Shealsoknewwhereshehadgoneto.Shecouldhaveguessedatthehourofherreturn;butseeingthatMeldonappearedtobeinahurryshetookherrevengefor

theviolentringingofthebellwhichhaddisturbedher.

"I'llgoandenquire,sir,"shesaid.

Shespentnearlytenminutesmakingenquiries.ThenshereturnedwiththeinformationthatMissKinghadgoneoutimmediatelyafterluncheon.ShehadaccompaniedSirGilbertHawkesbytotheriverwhereheintendedtofish.

"She'sgonewithSirGilbertHawkesby!"saidMeldon.



"Yes,sir."

Meldonturnedawayandwalkedslowlydowntheavenue.Whenhereachedthetenniscourtheproppedhisbicycleupagainstatreeandtookouthispipe.MissKing'sbrillianthammockwasstillhangingbetweenthetwotreestowhichCallaghanhadattacheditonthemorningafterherarrival.Meldonlithispipeandlaydowninthehammock.Hewaspuzzled.MissKing'sconductwasunaccountable.Thejudge'swasstrange.ButMeldonheldabeliefthatthereisnoproblemsodifficultbutwillyielditssolutiontopatientthoughtandtobacco.Hedrewinandexpelledrichcloudsofsmoke;andsethimselftothinkhard.ThejudgehadrecognisedtheimpossibilityoflivinginDoyle'shotel.Thatwasaplainandintelligiblepointfromwhichtostart.HehadgonestraighttoBallymoyHouse,knowingthathewouldfindMissKingthere.Itwasdifficulttoguesswherehegothisinformation;butmerespeculationonpointsofthatkindwasobviouslyuseless.Thejudgedidknow,andhadmadeuphismindtosettledowninBallymoyasMissKing'sguest.MissKinghadapparentlyreceivedhim;hadevengoneoutfishingwithhim.Meldoncouldfindnoexplanationofthefactsexceptone,anditwasextremelyunsatisfactory.ThejudgemusthaveimposedhimselfonMissKing,andinducedhertoreceivehimbymeansofthreats.Suchthingshave,nodoubt,beendoneoccasionally;thoughrarelybyjudges.People,especiallywomenwithdoubtfulpasts,

arealwaysopentothreatsofexposure,andmaybeinducedtosubmittoblackmail.SirGilbertHawkesbywasevidently--Meldonhadampleevidenceofthis--determinedtofish.Hewas,accordingtoDoyleandSabinaGallagher,inabadtemper,andtherefore,forthetime,unscrupulous.Hehadspentamostuncomfortablenight.Hewasalsoextremelyhungry.ItwasjustpossiblethathehadforcedhimselfuponMissKing.Meldonsighed.Thisadjustmentofthefactswasnotsatisfactory,buttherewasnoother.Heknockedtheashesoutofhispipeandstoodup.ThenhebecameawarethatCallaghanwaswatchinghimfromthefarendofthelawn.Meldonwalkedovertohim.

"Ifit'snewsaboutMr.Simpkinsyouwant,"saidCallaghan,"there'snone,forhehasn'tbeenneartheplacesincethelastdayIwas

talkingtoyou."

"Fortheimmediatepresent,"saidMeldon,"I'mnotsomuchinterestedinMr.Simpkinsasinanothergentlemanthatcamehereto-day."

"IsithimtheycallSirGilbertHawkesby?"

"Itis,"saidMeldon,"thatveryman.Didyouseehim?"

"Idid.Itwashalfpastteno'clock,ormaybealittlelater,andtheyoungladywasjustaftercomingoutwithaterriblebiglotofpapersalongwithher.Shesatherselfdownthereinthelittlebedwhereyouwerelyingthisminute,and'Goodmorningtoyou,Callaghan,'shesays

whenshesawme."

"Whatwereyoudoingthere?"saidMeldon.

"Iwaslookingather.Wasn'tthatwhatyoutoldmetodo?IwaswatchingoutthesameasI'vebeendoingthislastweek,thewaySimpkinswouldn'tcomeonherunawares,andmemaybesomewhereelseandnotseeinghim."

"Allright,"saidMeldon."Ihaven'ttheleastdoubtthat'sexactly



whatyouweredoing.Iputthewrongquestiontoyou.WhatIoughttohaveaskedyouwasthis:WhatdidMissKingthinkyouweredoing?Whatwereyoupretendingtodo?"

"IwasmakingasifIwasscufflingthewalkwithahoe,andtheLordknowsitwantsscuffling,forthewaytheweedsgrowonitiswhatyou'dhardlybelieve."

"Well,andaftershesaidgoodmorningtoyouwhathappened?"

"Therewasn'tanythinghappenedthen,"saidCallaghan,"unlessitwouldbesometalktherewasbetweenusabouttheweather,mesayingitwasseasonableforthetimeofyear,and--"

"Youneedn'tgointodetailsabouttheweather,"saidMeldon."Isuppose,soonerorlater,somethingelsehappened?"

"Theredidthen."

"Andwhatwasit?"

"Therecameacarupalongtheavenuewithagentlemanonit,anditwasPatsyFlahertythatwasdrivingit;andhimlacingtheoldmarewiththewhipthesameasifthegentlemanmightbeinahurry."

"Hewasinahurry,"saidMeldon."Asamatteroffact,hehadn'thadabitetoeatsincethemiddleofthedayyesterday,andnotmuchthen.Anymanwouldbeinahurryifhewasashungryasthatjudge."

"Thatmaybe.Anyway,whateverthereasonofitwas,hehadPatsyFlahertyleatheringthemarelikethedevil.Then,assoonaseverMissKingseteyesonhim,shewasupoutofthelittlebedwhereshewas,andthepapersthrewdownontheground,andherrunningasfastasevershecouldlegitacrossthegrass."

"Poorthing!"saidMeldon."Itmusthavebeenashocktohertocatchsightofhimlikethat.Wheredidsherunto?"

"Tomeethim,ofcourse,"saidCallaghan.

"Tomeethim!Becarefulwhatyou'resayingnow,Callaghan.It'smorelikelysherantheotherway."

"Amn'tItellingyouitwastomeethim?And,what'smore,you'dsaybythewayshewasrunningthatshewasthinkingitalongtimetillshegottohim."

"You'remistakenaboutthat,"saidMeldon."Unlessshecompletelylostherheadthroughsheernervousness;itmusthavebeenawayfromhimsheran."

"Itwasnot,buttohim.Andthenassoonaseverheseenhercomingheputouthishand,andgrippedaholdofPatsyFlahertybythearm,and'Stop,yedivil,'sayshe.'Haven'tyehadenoughofbatteringthatoldscrewforoneday?'sayshe,'anddon'tyouseetheyoungladythat'scomingacrossthelawnthereandherleppinglikeatwo-year-old,soasthesightofherwouldmakeyousuppleandyoucrippledwiththerheumatics?'"

"Iknownow,"saidMeldon,"thatyou'retellingmeapackofliesfrom



starttofinish.There'snotajudgeintheworldwouldsaythewordsyou'reputtingintothatone'smouth.Itisn'tthewayjudgestalk,northeleastlikeit.Yououghtn'ttotryandinventthings,Callaghan.Youcan'tdoit.Youhaven'tgotanyfacultyfordramaticprobabilityincharacterisation.Thatstoryofyourswouldn'tgodownwithMajorKent,andwhat'sthegoodofyourofferingittome?Youmaynotknowit,Callaghan,butI'msomethingofanexpertintextualcriticism.IcanseparateuptheBookofGenesisintoitscomponentdocumentsaswellasanymanliving,andI'mquitecapableoftellingbyinternalevidence,thatistosaybyconsiderationsofstyleandmatter,whetheranyparticularverseiswrittenbythesamemanthatwrotetheversebefore.Nowinbothrespects,matterandstyle,Irecogniseinyourstorythestrongestpossibleevidenceoffabrication.Anyliterarycriticwhoknewhisbusinesswouldagreewithme.Inthefirstplace,MissKingwouldn'thaveruntomeetthatjudge.She'dhaverunawayfromhimifsheranatall."

"Itwastohimshedidrun,"saidCallaghan,"andwhat'smore--"

"Inthesecondplace,"saidMeldon,"thejudgewouldn'thavespokenthatwaytoPatsyFlaherty.Ifhe'dwantedtohavethecarstoppedhe'dhavesaid,'Pullupforaminute,mygoodman,'orwordstothateffect."

"Well,"saidCallaghan,"itmighthavebeenthathesaid.HowwasItohearwhatpassedbetweenthemwhenIwashalfwaysacrossthelawnatthetimescufflingthepathwithmyhoe?"

"Andifyoucouldn'thear,"saidMeldon,"whatonearthdoyoumeanbypretendingtorepeattometheexactwordsthejudgeused?"

"ItoldyouthebestIcould.Ifthemwasn'tthewordshesaidhelookedmightylikeasiftheywere.AnywayPatsyFlahertygaveoverlambastingtheoldmare,andshestoodstill,thewayyou'dthinkshewasgladoftherest.Thenthegentlemantookalepdownoffthecar,andawaywithhimtomeetthelady."

"Well?"

"Shewasmightygladtoseehim,"saidCallaghan,"forshekissedhimtwice."

"Nonsense,"saidMeldon,"shecouldn'tpossiblyhavekissedhim.And,listentomenow,Callaghan.Yousetuptobemightyparticularaboutmoralconduct,andthedayIfirsttalkedtoyouaboutMissKingyousaidalotaboutdislikinganykindofimpropriety.Butyoudon'thesitatetotellmeagrosslyscandalousstoryaboutaladywhoneverdidyouanyharm.Idon'tthinkyououghttodoit."

"Therewasnoimproprietyofconductaboutit."

"Therewas.Howcanyoupossiblysaytherewasn't?Whatcouldbemoreimproper,judgedbyanyconceivablestandardofconduct,thanforayoungladytogorushingandtearingacrossalawn--andIdeclareIdon'tliketorepeatthethingyousaid."

"Therewasnoimproprietyofconduct,"saidCallaghan,"becausethegentlemanwasheruncle."

"Doyoumeantotellme,"saidMeldon,"thatSirGilbertHawkesbyis



MissKing'suncle?"

"Heis.ImighthaveguesseditwhenIsawherkissinghim.AndIpartlydidguesstheremustbesomethingofthesortinit;forIhavearespectforMissKing,andIknowwellthatshe'snotthesortthatwoulddothelikeofthatwithoutthegentlemanwouldbeanearfriendofherown.ButthewayI'dmakesureIwentandaskedtheyoungladywithininthekitchen."

"Doyoumeanthecook?"

"Ido,"saidCallaghan."ItmighthavebeenanhourafterormaybemorewhenIwastakinginadishofpeasforthedinner.'MissHodge,'saysI,speakingrespectful--forthegirlsthatdoesbeinitthinksalotofthemselvesonaccountoftheircomingoverhereallthewayfromLondon--'MissHodge,'saysI,'that'samightyfinegentlemanthat'scometoseethemistressto-day.''Thedevilamuchcredititistoyoutofindthatout,'saysshe,'for--'"

"Shedidn't,"saidMeldon."NobodyofthenameofHodgewhocamefromLondonwouldorcouldsay'thedevilamuchcredit'underanycircumstances."

"It'swhatshemeant,"saidCallaghan,"andwhat'smore,shetoldme

abouthisbeingahigh-upgentleman,andajudge,noless.'Doyoutellmethatnow?'saysI.'I'mgladofit,for,ifyoubelieveme,it'sthefirsttimeeverIseteyesononeofthem.''You'llseeplentyofhim,'saysshe,'forhe'llbestoppingherealongwithMissKingtillhe'sdonefishing.''Willhethen?Andwhatcouldhebedoingthatfor?''It'sonaccountofthewaythemmurderingvillainsdowninthehotel--'"

"Iwish,"saidMeldon,"thatyouwouldn'ttrytorepeatthecook'sexactwords.You'regettingthemwrongeverytimeandmakingitmoreandmoredifficultformetobelieveyourstory."

"It'sthetruthI'mtellingyouwhetherorno,"saidCallaghan,"and

whatshesaidwasthathewascomingupheretostayonaccountofthewaytheyhadhimpoisoneddowninthehotel,whichiswhatIwassorrytohearhersay,forSabinaGallagher'safriendofmyown,hersisterbeingmarriedtomywife'scousin,andIwouldn'tliketohearofthegirlgettingabadname.Anyway,'it'sthatwayitis,'saidMissHodge,'andwherewouldhecometoifitwasn't--?'"

"You'reatitagain,"saidMeldon."Whycan'tyoutellwhatyouhavetotellwithoutspoilingwhatmightbeagoodstorybyinsistingonmakingthecooktalkinthatunnaturalway?"

"Whatshesaidwas,"saidCallaghan,"thatitwasnomorethanrightandproperthathe'dcometothehouseofhisownniece."

"You'reabsolutelycertainshesaidthat?"

"Iam;foritwasn'toncenortwiceshesaidit,butmore;likeasifshewasproudofbeingalongwithaladythatwasniecetoajudge."

"Ifthefactsareasyoustatethem,"saidMeldon,"agoodmanythingsbecomecleartome,andthegeneralsituationisbynomeanssodesperateasIwasinclinedtothink."



"Wouldyousaynow,yourreverence,"saidCallaghan,"thatit'struewhatshewasaftertellingmeaboutSabinadoingthebestshecouldtopoisonthejudgewithparaffinoil?"

"There'safoundationoftruthinthestatement,"saidMeldon,"butithasbeenverymuchexaggerated."

"It'swhatIdidn'tthinkSabinawoulddo,forshewasalwaysaquiet,decentgirl,withnoharminher."

"Don'trunawaywiththeideathatSabinahasdoneanythingwrong,"saidMeldon,"forshehasn't.Ican'tstopheretoexplainthewholecircumstancestoyou,forIhaveotherthingstodo,andinanycaseyouwouldn'tbeabletounderstand.ButIwouldliketofixthisfactfirmlyinyourmind:Sabinaisinnowaytoblame."

"Isthereanyfearnow,"saidCallaghan,"thatshemightbetookbythepolice?"

"Nottheslightest."

"Himbeingajudgeandall?"

"Thatdoesn'tmaketheleastdifference.IfSabinahadpoisoned

anybody--shehasn't,butifshehad--orevenifshe'dtriedto,she'dbehadupforitwhetherhervictimwasajudgeoracornerboy.It'sworse,Ibelieve,ifyoupoisontheking;butshortofthatit'sthesamethingexactly.Thelawdoesn'tsetabitmorevalueonajudge'slifethanonanyoneelse's,andSirGilbertHawkesbywouldbethefirstmantotellyouthat.Youcanaskhimifyoulike.Butthepointisn'treallyofanyimportance,because,asIsaidbefore,Sabinahasneitherpoisonednortriedtopoisonanybody.Shehassimplydoneherduty."

CHAPTERXIX.

"Onthewhole,"saidMeldon,"thingsareturningoutbetterthanIexpected.Theydevelopedinawaythatatfirstalittlesurprisedme.Infact,foranhourortwoIwasrattled,andhardlyknewwhattosayordo;butonthinkingthewholeaffairoverquietly,afteraninterviewIhadwithCallaghan,Ihaveeveryreasontofeelfairlywellsatisfied."

HeandMajorKentsattogetheratafternoonteaontheverandahofPortsmouthLodge.TheMajorwasevidentlynervousanduncomfortable.Theteaspoontinkledinthesaucerashehandedacuptohisfriend,andheforgottohelphimselftoalumpofsugar.

"ItookDoylequitetherightway,"saidMeldon,"andIdon'tthinkhe'llsackSabina.IshouldhavebeensorryifSabinahadgotintoserioustrouble--"

"Whataboutthejudge?"saidtheMajor.

"I'mtalkingaboutSabinaGallagheratpresent,I'llcometothejudgelateron.Asamatteroffacthe'sperfectlywellabletolookafterhimself.Sabinaisn't,anditismypractice--itoughttobeyours,



Major,butofcourseitisn't--itismypracticetolookafterthepoorandhelpless,especiallywhentheyhappentobewomen,beforeIdoanythingforthosewhoarerichandpowerful.You,Iregrettosay,gouponadifferentplan.BecauseSabinahappenstobeafriendlessservant,withnoonetotakeherpart,youdon'tcareapinwhathappenstoher.Youareinterestedonlyinthisjudge,whoiswelloffandhasthewholeforceoftheBritishconstitutionathisbackifanyoneattemptstodohimanyharm."

TheMajoracceptedtherebukemeekly.

"Ionlymeant,"hesaid,"thatI'dliketohearaboutthejudgenowIknowthatSabinaisallright.Andafterall,J.J.,theBritishconstitutionisn'tmuchusetoamanwhenyouaresetonragginghim."

"Ofcoursenot,"saidMeldon."Infact,theBritishconstitutionisagreatlyover-ratedthing.Itdidn'tsavepoorLorimerfromhisuntimelyend.Itwouldn'tsavethisjudgeifIhaddeterminedtomakehimmiserable.Itwon'tsaveSimpkinswhenhistimecomes.However,asthingsturnout,Idon'twanttoharrythejudge.There'snoparticularpointinit.Idon'tmuchmindnowevenifhegoesbacktoDoyle'shotel."

"Hereallyleftthen?"

"Yes.Doylewasratherupsetaboutit.It'saseriouslosstohim,andI'msorryitoccurred,foritturnsoutnowthatitwasquiteunnecessary.Icouldn'tpossiblybeexpectedtoguess;but,asamatteroffact,Ineedn'thaveworriedaboutthatjudgeatall.Hewon'tdousanyharm.Infact,Iexpecthe'llturnouttobeamostvaluableally.Ishallseehimto-morrowandtrytoenlisthissympathiesforourSimpkinsplot.Iexpecthe'llsimplyjumpatit."

"Ithoughtyousaidhe'dgone."

"Hehasgonefromthehotel,butnotfromBallymoy.He'satpresentstayingwithhisniece."

"Ididn'tknowhehadaniece."

"MissKing,or,tobequiteaccurate,Mrs.Lorimer,ishisniece,andhe'sstayingwithher."

MajorKentstartedandlaiddownhisteacup.Thenalookofreliefcameintohisface,andhesmiled.

"You'llgiveupthatabsurdtheoryofyoursnow,Isuppose,"hesaid,"andadmitthatMissKingisn'tamurderess.Ialwaysknewshewasn't,thoughIcouldn'tconvinceyou."

"Idon'tsee,"saidMeldon,"thatanythinghashappenedtoinvalidatetheevidenceonwhichweoriginallyconcludedthatMissKingisMrs.Lorimer."

"Don'tbeanass,J.J.Yousayshe'sthejudge'sniece;soofcourseshecan't--"

"Youapparentlythink,"saidMeldon,"thatajudge'sniece,merelybecauseherunclehappenstooccupyapositionoflegaleminence,couldn'tpossiblycommitacrime.You'reentirelywrong.Someofthe



greatestwomencriminalstheworldhaseverseenhavebeentheniecesofmenofhighposition.LookatLucreziaBorgia,forinstance.HerunclewasaPope;andwhateverourreligiousopinionsmaybewemustadmitthataPopeisabiggermanthananordinaryjudge,andyetLucreziaisfamousforsomeofthemostremarkablecrimesinallhistory.Icouldquoteotherinstances,butthatoneoughttobesufficienttoconvinceyouthatrelationshiptoajudgeisnosafeguard--"

"Thatwasn'twhatImeant,J.J.YousaythatthisjudgetriedMrs.Lorimer.Nowif--"

"Doyoumeantosuggest,"saidMeldon,"thatajudgewouldn'ttryhisownnieceformurder?"

"Ofcoursehewouldn't.Howcouldhe?"

"You'reentirelywrong,"saidMeldon."Asamatteroffactanyright-mindedandreallyuprightjudge,suchaswehaveeveryreasontosupposethisSirGilbertHawkesbyis,wouldtakeaspecialprideintryinghisownniece.He'dliketohangherifhecould,alwayssupposingthathefeltsurethatshewasguilty.Ifthere'sonethingjudgesaremoredeterminedaboutthananotherit'stheirindependenceofallconsiderationsofprivatefriendshipinthedischargeoftheir

duties.Thereareseveralrecordedinstancesofjudgeshangingtheirownsons.Theexpression,'ARomanfather,'arises,aswellasIrecollect,fromanincidentofthesort,andthemenwhohavedonethatkindofthinghavealwaysbeenregardedasthebrightestexamplesofincorruptibility.Everylawyerisbroughtupinthetraditionthathecan'tdoafineraction,ifhebecomesajudge--andtheyallexpecttobecomejudgesintheend--thantohangarelativeofhisown.SirGilbertsawhisopportunitywhenMissKingwasbroughtupbeforehim,andthemomenthebecameconvincedofherguilthesummedupagainstherinthemostdeterminedway."

"Youmaytalkasyoulike,J.J.,butnojudgewoulddoit."

"Youhaveevidentlyaverylowopinionofjudges,"saidMeldon."SohasDoyle.Hethinksthattheyareallinfluencedbypoliticalprejudices,andarereadytocondemnamanwhobelongstoanyLeague,withoutwaitingtofindoutwhetherhehascommittedacrimeornot.That'sbadenough;butwhatyouchargethemwithisinfinitelyworse.Yousaythattheyarehabituallyguiltyofnepotism--thatistosayofpartialitytotheirownnieces,whichisoneoftheworstcrimesthereisinajudge,asbadassimonywouldbeinabishop."

"Idon'tsayanythingofthesort.Isay--"

"EitheryousaythatMissKingisn'thisnieceoryousaythathewouldn'ttryherformurder.Youmustbesayingoneortheother,

thoughyoudon'texpressyourselfverydistinctly,becausethere'snothingelseyoucouldsay."

"Idon't,ofcourse,agreewithyou,"saidtheMajor,afterapause."Infact,Ithinkyou'retalkingdownrightnonsense,butI'mnotgoingtoarguewithyou.I'm--"

"Iwishyou'dalwaystakeupthatattitude,"saidMeldon."Yourargumentswastealotoftime."



"I'mjustgoingtoaskyouonequestion.SupposingMissKingisMrs.Lorimer--"

"Sheis.There'snosuppositionaboutit."

"Andsupposingthejudgetriedherasyousay--"

"That'sinallthepapers.There'snouseattemptingtodenythat,whateverelseyoudeny."

"Andsupposingshe'shisniece--"

"Callaghansaysthecooktoldhimshewas,"saidMeldon,"anditappearsthatshekissedhimwhentheymet,whichshe'dhardlyhavedoneiftheyweren'trelations."

"Then,"saidtheMajortriumphantly,"howcanyouaccountforhisgoingtostaywithherasifshehadn'tdoneanythingwrong?"

"Idon'tquitecatchyourpoint,Major."

"Isitlikelythat,knowinghisniecetobeamurderess,oratalleventsbelievinghertobeamurderess,ajudge--ajudge,mindyou,J.J.--wouldgoandstayinthehousewithher,andkissher?"

"Itwasshewhokissedhim,"saidMeldon,"butthat'saminorpoint.Iseeyourdifficultynow,Major,andIquiteadmitthere'ssomethinginit,orappearstobesomethinginittoamanlikeyouwhodoesn'tunderstandthelegalpointofview."

"Nopointofviewcanalterfacts,"saidtheMajor,"supposingtheyarefacts,whichofcoursethey'renot."

"Yes,itcan,"saidMeldon."Tothelegalmindafactceasestobeafactthemomentaproperlyqualifiedcourthasdecidedtheotherway.Thejudgemaybe,inthisparticularcaseheis,asweknow,absolutelyconvincedthathisnieceisamurderess.Butajurysayssheisn't,

andsofromalegalpointofviewshe'saperfectlyinnocentanduprightwoman.Thejudgecan'thangher.Hecan'tevenwarnhernottodoitagain.Heisbound,whateverhisprivatefeelingsandconvictionsare,toacceptthejury'sverdictatitsfacevalue,andtotreathisnieceexactlyashedidbeforealltheunpleasantnessarose."

"Heneedn'tkissher,"saidtheMajor.

"Ifhe'saconsistentlyjustmanandwasonwhatwemaycallkissingtermswithherbefore,"saidMeldon,"he'llofcoursekissheragainafterwards.Hecan'tdoanythingelse.Intheeyeofthelaw--that'swhatImeanbythelegalstandpoint--she'saninnocentwoman.Nowthejudge'swholepositioninsocietyandevenhisincomedependsonhis

keepingupthetheorythatthelawisinfallible.WhateveryouandIasprivateindividualsmaydo,ajudgehasonlyonecourseopentohim.Hemusttaketheviewthatthelawtakes.That'swhyIsaythatit'squitenaturalforSirGilberttogoandstopwithhisnieceandkissher,though,asIsaidbefore,itwasreallyshewhokissedhim.Ifhedidn't,he'dbeadmittingpubliclythatthelawwaswrong,andhecan'tdothatwithoutgivinghimselfandhiswholepositionawayhopelessly."

"Itdoesn'tstrikemeasabitnatural,"saidtheMajor."Infact,it'squiteimpossible.That'swhyIsay--"



"Icanunderstandyourfeeling,"saidMeldon."IndeedIwasagooddealsurprisedatfirst;butwhenIcametothinkitallout,andtorealisethesortofwaythejudgewouldlookatit,Isaw,asyou'llprobablybeabletoseesometimetomorrow--"

"No.Iwon't.I'llneverseethat.It'sabsurdtosuppose--"

"Idon'tdeny,"saidMeldon,"thatwhenweconsiderSirGilbertHawkesbyasaprivateindividual,separatingforamomentthemanfromthejudge,wemustcredithimwiththefeelingthatMissKingisrathera--whattheFrenchwouldcallamauvaissujet."

"Awhat?"

"Ablacksheep,"saidMeldon,"adisgracetothefamily.Thesortofrelationwhomoneisinclinedtokeepinthebackgroundasmuchaspossible.Iamrelyingonthatfeelingtosecurethehelpofthejudge."

"Forwhat?"

"TomarryMissKingtoSimpkins,ofcourse.Thethingwe'vebeenatallalong."

"Hewon'tdothat.NomanlivingwouldmarryhisniecetoSimpkins."

"Thatdependsonthenatureoftheniece.Therearenieces--there'snousedenyingit,Major,becauseit'sunfortunatelytrue.Thereareniecesthatamanwouldbegladtoseemarriedtoanyone.Andthere'sagreatdealtobesaidinfavouroftheSimpkinsallianceinthisparticularcase."

"No,thereisn't.Themanisacad."

"Idon'tthinknearlysobadlyofSimpkinsasyoudo,Major.I'vetoldyouthatbefore.But,evengrantingwhatyousayistrue,thejudge

probablyarguesthatMissKingwithherrecordcan'texpectanythingbetter.He'llbegladenoughtogetSimpkinsforher.He'llrecollectthatBallymoyisafrightfullyout-of-the-wayplace,andthatifMissKingismarriedtoamanwholivesherenoneofherfriendswilleverseeanymoreofher.That'sexactlywhathewants;andsoIconfidentlyexpectthat,oncethepositionisexplainedtohim,he'llsimplyjumpatthechance."

"Doyoumeantosay,"saidtheMajor--"Iamnowsupposingthatallyourridiculousideasaretrue,andthatMissKingwillreally--"

Hehesitated.

"KillSimpkins?"saidMeldon."That'swhatyouwantdone,isn'tit?"

"Doyoumeantosaythatyouthinkthejudgewillgooutofhiswaytoencouragehertocommitanothercrime?"

"It'snotthebusinessofajudgetopreventcrime,"saidMeldon."Youmustn'tmixhimupwiththepolice.Thepolicehavetoseethatpeopledon'tdowhat'swrong.Judgeshavetopunishthemafterwardsforwhatthepolicefailtostopthemfromdoing.Thejudgewon'tstepoutofhispropersphereandstartdoingpolicework.Ifhedidthere'dbe



endlessconfusion.Andbesidesthat,Idon'texpectthejudgewillthinkthatshemeanstokillSimpkins.Hedoesn'tunderstandaswedothatsheisactingintheinterestsofherart.Sheprobably,infactcertainly,hasn'ttoldhimwhatshetoldme--thatshehascometoBallymoywiththeintentionofgoingonwithherwork.He'llthinkthatthenarrowshaveshehadovertheLorimeraffairwillhavegivenheralesson,andthatfromnowonshe'llwanttosettledownandliveaquiet,affectionatekindoflife.Whenshekissedhiminthatspontaneouswaythismorning,whatdoyousupposewaspassingthroughhismind?Whatwashethinking?Rememberthathehadn'tseenhersincethedayofthetrial,andthenaskyourselfwhatthoughtsthosetwokisseswouldsuggesttohim."

"Idon'tknow.Thatshewasgladtoseehim,Isuppose."

"Agreatdealmorethanthat.Ajudgedoesn'tstopshortatthosesuperficialviewsofthings.Helooksdeepdownintothemorereconditeemotionsofthehumanheart.Assoonashefeltthosekisseshesaidtohimself:'Hereisapoorgirlwho'sreallysorryforwhatshe'sdone--'"

"Ithoughtyousaidhedidn'tbelieveshe'ddoneit.Icertainlydon't."

"Asajudgehedoesn't;butI'mspeakingofhimnowasanuncle,asimpleunofficialuncle.Asanunclehecan'thelprecollectingpoorLorimer,buthe'llwanttogivehisnieceeverypossiblefairplay,andassoonassheshowedsignsofpenitence--herkisseswereaprettyconvincingsignofpenitence,consideringthewayhesummedupagainsther--he'dbeallforburyingthepastandlettinghergetafreshstartinlifeifshecould."

"OfcourseIdon'tattachthesmallestimportancetoanythingyou'vesaid.Idon'tbelieve,inthefirstplace,thatMissKingisMrs.Lorimer.Idon'tbelieveanyjudgewouldtrytohanghisownniece.Idon'tbelieve,ifhehadtriedher,he'dgoandstopinthehousewithherafterwards,andI'mperfectlycertainhewouldn'tkissher.But

youapparentlyliketopretendtomethatyoudobelievealltherotyou'vebeentalking,andthatbeingso,I'dratherliketoknowwhatyouintendtodonext."

"Itdoesn'tintheleastmattertoyouwhatIdo,"saidMeldon."IfI'mthekindofdrivellingidiotyoumakeout,myactionsareofnoimportance,eithertoyouortoanyoneelse."

"Allthesame,I'dliketoknowwhatthey'regoingtobe."

"Why?"

"SothatIcandomybesttopreventtheirdoinganyirreparable

mischief,ifpossible;thoughIdon'texpectitispossible."

"Ishalldonoirreparablemischieftoanyone,"saidMeldon;"exceptSimpkins;andyoualwayssaidyouwantedhimpoisoned."

"Ineversaidsuchathing."

"Keepcool,Major.There'snouselosingyourtemper.YouandDoyleandO'Donoghueallsaidyou'dbegladtogloatoverSimpkins'corpse.Ifyouhadn'tsaidsoIshouldn'tbetakingallthistrouble.IfI



didn'tstillbelievethatyouhateSimpkinsIshoulddropthematteratonce.Afterall,it'snobusinessofmine."

"Thendodropit.Likeagoodman,J.J.,leaveMissKingalone,andletthejudgefishinpeace."

"No;Iwon't.I'llseethethingthroughnowI'mthisfar,andwithineasyreachofsuccess.Idon'twanttohaveyoureproachingmeafterwardsforgoingbackonmyword."

"Iwon'treproachyou.Ipromisenotto."

"You'dmeannotto;butwhenthepresentflurryisover,andwhenSimpkinsbeginstoannoyyouagainaboutthefishingandotherthings,youwon'tbeabletohelpreproachingme.EvenifyourefrainfromactualwordsIshallseeitinyoureye.Ican'tgothroughlife,Major,hauntedbyyoureyewithamute,unspokenreproachinit."

MajorKentsighedheavily.

"Thenwhatdoyoumeantodo?"heasked.

"Ishallseethejudgeto-morrow,"saidMeldon,"and--"

"Iadviseyounotto.He'ssuretohavefoundoutabouttheparaffinoilbythattime."

"I'mpreparedforthat.Theremaybesomeslighttemporaryunpleasantness,butthatwillpassawayatoncewhenthejudgehearstheproposalthatIhavetomake."

"What'sthat?"

"ThatheshouldencouragethemarriagebetweenSimpkinsandhisniece.Ishallexplaintohimthatitisverymuchtohisowninteresttodoso,andofcoursehe'llseetheforceofwhatIsayatonce.Ishan'tmentiontheultimatefateofSimpkins.Idon'tsupposehe'dcaremuch

ifIdid.Hecan'tbeparticularlykeenonpreservingSimpkins'life,forhedoesn'tknowhim.Stillitisbesttoavoidallrisks,andIshalltreatthemarriageastheordinaryconventionallove-match,withouthintingatanyconnectionbetweenitandMissKing'speculiarart.WhenI'vesettledthingsupwithhim--that'llbeabouttwelveoroneo'clock,ifIgetathimbeforehestartsfishingfortheday--IshallgodowntothevillageandgetaholdofSimpkins.He'llbeinhisoffice,Iexpect.Ishalllunchwithhim,andthenleadhimupandlayhimatMissKing'sfeet."

"Willhegoforyou?Hehasn'tshownanygreateagernessforthematchsofar."

"Ishan'tgivehimmuchchoice,"saidMeldon."Ishalltellhimthatthethinghasgottobedoneatonce.VeryfewmenareabletostanduptomewhenItakeareallydeterminedtonewiththem,andIshallspeakinthestrongestwaytoSimpkins.WhenIhave,sotospeak,depositedhiminfrontofMissKing--"

"Onhisknees?"saidtheMajor.

"Veryprobably.InthesemattersofdetailImustofcoursebeguidedbycircumstances;butwhenIhaveputhimdown,eitheronhiskneesor



insomeotherposture,Ishallslipawayunobtrusively--"

"Ishouldliketoseeyoudoingthat.Idon'tthinkyoucould.You'regenerallymoreobtrusivethananyoneelseI'veevermet."

"Leavingthemtogether,"saidMeldon,"withCallaghanwatchingfrombehindatree,soastobeabletoreporttomeexactlywhathappens.InthemeanwhileIshallstrolluptheriverandfindthejudge.Ifheisn'tactuallyintoafishatthemoment,Ishallbringhimstraightdowntothehouseandlethimheartheresultatonce.Ifhehasasalmonhooked,Ishallofcoursewaittillit'slanded,andthenbringhimdown.AfterwardsIshalltakeSimpkinsuptotherectoryandmakearrangementsaboutthelicence.Weought,baraccidents,tohavethewholethingfinishedintheinsideofafortnightfromnow.AfterthatImustleaveitinthehandsofO'Donoghue.He'llhavetobecarefulhowhetreatsSimpkinswhenhe'scalledin.Itwon'tdotomakemistakesandgocuringhimaccidentally."

"Isuppose,"saidtheMajorbitterly,"thatyou'llemploySabinaGallaghertomakethewedding-cake.Shemightbeginthepoisoning."

"Certainlynot,"saidMeldon."Sabinacouldn'tmakeawedding-cake,andinanycaseSimpkinswon'teatenoughofhisownwedding-caketodohimanyharm,whateverit'smadeof.Ifyouwereaccustomedto

weddings,Major,you'dknowthatthewholecakeisinvariablyeatenbythepostofficeofficials--amostdeservingclass,whomnobodywantstopoison.Besides,inacaselikethis,itwillbebettertoavoidallpublicityandshow.Itwouldn'tdotohavethenewspapersgettingholdofthefactthatMrs.Lorimerisbeingmarriedagainsosoon.There'dbeparagraphs,andthesuspicionsofSimpkinswouldbeexcited.Onthewhole,Idon'tthinkwe'llhaveaweddingcake,orbridesmaids,oranythingofthatsort.Butyoucanbebestmanifyoulike."

"Iknowyoudon'tmeanawordyou'resaying,J.J.,andthatyouwon'treallydoanything."

"Waitandsee."

"ButifIthoughtyoumeanttocauseMissKingtheslightestuneasinessordiscomfort,Ishouldsimplyturnyoustraightoutofmyhouse.Iwouldn'tbeapartyforasinglemomenttoanyplanforinsultingareallynicewomanlikeMissKing."

"Don'tfretaboutthat,"saidMeldon."WhatI'mdoingisexactlywhatMissKingwantsdone.Shetoldmesoherself."

CHAPTERXX.

SirGilbertHawkesbywas,onthewhole,agood-temperedman;buthewasliabletosuddenoutburstsofangerofaviolentkind.LadyHawkesbyknewthis,andalwaysbowedmeeklytothestorm.Hisbutlerknewit,andfeltnoresentmentwhenhewascalledanincompetentfool.Thebarristerswhopractisedtheirartinhiscourtknewit,andalwaysgaveuppressingobjectionablepointsonhisnoticewhentheyrecognisedtheearlysignsofapproachingindignation.Thebutlerandthebarristers,notLadyHawkesby,admittedthatthejudge'sangerwasinvariablyjustified.Heneverlostcontrolofhimselfwithoutsome



goodexcuse.Thereforetheysufferedpatiently,knowingthattheysufferedjustly,andknowingalsothattheywouldnotsufferlong;forthejudge'soutburstswereasbriefastheywerefierce,andheborenomaliceafterwards.DoyleunfortunatelydidnotknowSirGilbert'speculiarities,andsohewasdepressedandunhappy.SabinaGallagherdidnotknowthemeither,andthejudgehadnotsparedher.Hehadnohesitation,asLadyHawkesby,thebutler,andthebarristersknew,inattackingthemostdefencelesspeoplewhenthemoodwasonhim,andhehadusedexceptionallystronglanguagetoSabinaGallagher.Ittookhimonthisoccasionlongerthanusualtorecoverhisself-possession.Hegavenokissinresponsetohisniece'saffectionatesalutation.Heatethereallyexcellentluncheonwhichshehadpreparedforhimingloomysilenceandwithoutasignofappreciation.Thegilly,whoaccompaniedhimuptheriverintheafternoon,cameinforthelastgustsoftheexpiringstorm.

Ataboutfouro'clockSirGilberthookedafinesalmonandlandedhimsuccessfully.Thegilly,whowasamanoftact,greatlyover-estimatedtheweightofthefish,andpaidarichcomplimenttothejudge'sskill.MissKingsaidallthemostappropriatethingsintonesofwarmconviction.SirGilbertbegantofeelthatlifewasnotaltogetheranintolerableaffliction.Anhourlater,inapoolstronglyrecommendedbythegilly,anotherfishwascaught.Itwasinferiortothefirstinsize,butitwasaverysatisfactorycreaturetolookat.Thejudge's

temperwasquitenormalwhenhesatdownatdinner.When,atMissKing'srequest,helithiscigarinthedrawing-roomafterwards,hebegantotakeahumorousviewofthemisfortunesofthemorning.

"Ioughttohaveacceptedyourinvitationatonce,Milly,andnotattemptedtoliveatthelocalhotel.Inevercameacrosssuchaplaceinmylife,thoughIhaveknockedaboutagooddealandamprettywellaccustomedtoroughingit.Mybedroomreekedofabominabledisinfectants.Thefloorwashalfaninchdeepinchlorideoflime.Thesheetsweresoakedwith--Bytheway,whatisthenameofthelocalparson?"

"Idon'tknow,"saidMissKing."He'sanoldman,and,Ifancy,

delicate.I'veneverseenhim.Hewasn'tinchurchlastSunday."

"Hasheacurate?"

"Yes;Ibelieveso.Butthecurateisawayonhisholiday.Somebody--Iforgetwho;verylikelyCallaghanthegardener--toldmeso.Atallevents,I'venotseenanythingofhim.Butwhatdoyouwantwiththelocalclergy?"

"Ionlywantoneofthem,"saidthejudge;"butIwanthimratherbadly.ThemanImeancan'tbeaRomanCatholicpriest.Hehasabrightredmoustache.Iwonderifyou'vecomeacrosshim."

"ThatmustbeMr.Meldon.HehasaparishsomewhereinEngland,Ibelieve.He'soverhereonhisholiday.ItravelledinthecarriagewithhimfromDublin.HeisstayingwithaMajorKent."

"He'sapparentlyquitemad,"saidthejudge,"andoughttobeshutup.He'sdangeroustosociety."

"He'scertainlyeccentric.Wehadalongtalkinthetrain,andhetoldmealotabouthisbaby,whichhadbeenkeepinghimawakeatnight.IwasoutyachtingonedaywithhimandMajorKent."



"Don'tgoagain,"saidthejudge."Yourlifewouldn'tbesafe.IsMajorKentmadtoo?"

"Notatall.Hestruckmeasaverypleasantman,mostconsiderateandkind."

"HemustbeveryunusuallykindifhetoleratesMeldon.OfalltheobjectionablelunaticsIevermet,thatparsonisoutandawaytheworst."

"Ishouldn'thavesaidhewasactuallymad.InsomewaysIthinkhe'sratherclever.HepreachedquitearemarkablesermonlastSunday,thesortofsermonyoucan'thelplisteningto."

"Icaneasilybelievethat,"saidthejudge."HepreachedmeasermonyesterdaywhichI'mnotatalllikelytoforget."

"Wheredidyoumeethim,UncleGilbert?"

"Ididn'tmeethim.Hemetme.Ishouldn'thavedreamedofmeetinghim.HemetmeattherailwaystationatDonard,andinvitedhimselftoluncheonwithme.Healsobroughtadoctorwhomhehadalongwithhim.Thenhewarnedmethatmylifewouldn'tbesafeinBallymoy.I

thoughthewastheusualsortoffoolwithscareideasaboutleaguesandboycotting.Butitwasn'tthatatall.Hethoughthe'dfrightenmeoffwithstoriesaboutbaddrains;saidI'dbesuretodieifIstayedatthehotel.Hewasquiterightthere,Imustsay.IshouldhavediedifIhadn'tleftatonce."

"Weretheyverybad?"

"Werewhatverybad?Oh,thedrains.Notatall.AtleastIdaresaytheywerebadenough.Iwasn'ttherelongenoughtofindout.ButIshouldn'thavediedofthedrainsinanycase.I'mnotthekindofmanwhocatchesdiseases."

SirGilbert'schestswelledalittleashespoke,andheslowlypuffedoutalargecloudofsmoke.Hewasjustlyproudofhisphysicalhealth,andwasaccustomedtohurldefianceatmicrobesandtoheapcontemptonthedoctor'sart.

"I'msureyou'renot,"saidMissKingdutifully.

"WhatIshouldhavediedof,"saidthejudge,"ifIhaddied,wouldhavebeenstarvation.You'llhardlybelievemewhenItellyouthateveryscrapoffoodIgot,eventheboiledeggwhichIorderedforbreakfast,thinkingitwouldbesafe--"

MissKinghadheardallabouttheparaffinoilbefore.Shehadindeed

heardaboutitmorethanonce.Shedidnotwanttohearofitagain,becauseshefearedthatarepetitionofthestorymightputheruncleintoanotherbadtemper.

"Ican'tunderstandit,"shesaid."Howanyonecouldbesocarelessas--"

"Itwasn'tcarelessness,"saidthejudge."IfithadbeenImighthavegiventheplaceanothertrial.Itwasdoneonpurpose."



"Surelynot."

"Ipursuedthecook,"saidthejudge,"intothefastnessesofherkitchen.Shefledbeforeme,butIranhertoearthatlastinthescullery.AfilthierholeIneversaw.Iwentforherstraight,andexpectedtobetoldastoryaboutsomebodyorotherupsettingalampoverallherpotsandpans.Insteadofthat,sheansweredme,withoutasignofhesitationandsaid--Nowwhatdoyouthinkshesaid?"

"Ican'tguess.Notthatshethoughtyou'dliketheflavour?"

"No.Shehadn'tquitetheeffronterytosaythat.ShetoldmethatMr.Meldon,thisparsonofyourswhotakesyououtyachting,hadgivenordersbeforeIcamethatallmyfoodwastobesoakedwithparaffinoil."

"Oh!Butthat'stooabsurd."

"Soyou'dthink.SoIthoughtatthemoment.Ididn'tbelieveher.Ithoughtthatshewasputtingupanunusuallineofdefencetoexcuseherowngrosscarelessness.ButIwasevidentlywrong.Thegirlseemstohavebeentellingthetruth.IthinkImentionedtoyouthestateinwhichIfoundmybedlastnight."

"Yousaiditwasdamp."

"Damp!Ineversaiddamp.SoakingisthewordIused;oratalleventsoughttohaveused.ItwassoakingwithCondy'sFluid,asitturnedout,thoughIdidn'tknowatthetimewhatthestuffwas.Ihadaninterviewwiththehotelkeeperhimself,aruffianofthenameofDoyle,aboutthat.IhadverynearlytobreakthebellbeforeIcouldgetanyonetocometome.It'saveryoddthing,buthetoldmepracticallythesamestory;saidthatthismanMeldon,whoeverheis,hadgivenorderstohaveCondy'sFluidpouredallovermybedandchlorideoflimeshovelledontothefloor.IdidnotbelievehimatthetimeanymorethanIbelievedthatmiserableslutofacookthenextmorning.IwasinsuchatemperwhenIleftthatIdidn'tthink

ofputtingtheirtwostoriestogether;butgoingoverthewholethingthisafternooninmyminditstruckmeasratherpeculiarthattheyshouldbothhavehitonsuchagrotesquesortofalie,ifitwasalie."

"Surelyyoudon'tthinkthatMr.Meldon--he'srathereccentric,Iknow,butIcanscarcelybelievethathe'd--"

"I'mnotatallsurewhatIoughttothink.Itseemsunlikelythatanyclergyman,unlessheisquitemad,andyousayhe'snotmad--"

"No;he'snotmad.He'speculiar.Butheiscertainlynotmad.MajorKenthasthehighestopinionofhim,andMajorKentisquitesane."

Thejudgethrewtheendofhiscigarintothefireandsatsilentforaminuteortwo.HismindwasworkingonthecuriousseriesofeventswhichhadfollowedhisarrivalinBallymoy.Hebecameverymuchinterested.

"Milly,"hesaidatlast,"I'lltakeyourwordforitthattheman'snotmad.ButhowonearthamItoexplainhisactions?ForIreallyhavenodoubtthathe'satthebottomofallI'vebeenthrough.Firstofall,hemetmeatthestationatDonard,havingtravelledtwenty



milesfortheexpresspurposeoftryingtopreventmycomingonhere.Nowwhydidhedothat?"

"Perhapshereallythoughtyou'dbeuncomfortableatthehotel."

"Heseemstohavedonehisbesttomakemeuncomfortable,anyhow."

"Andsucceeded,"saidMissKingwithasmile.

"Andsucceededbrilliantly.Idon'tintheleastwishtodenythat.Ineverwasmoreuncomfortableinmylife.ButwhatIwanttoknowis,whatpossiblemotivehehadfordoingit.Unlesshe'sanabsolutelunatic,andyousayhe'snotthat--"

"No.He'ssane,thoughIthinkhe'sdecidedlyeccentric."

"Thenhemusthavehadamotiveofsomesort.Heplainlydoesn'twanttohavemehereinBallymoy.Nowwhynot?That'swhat'spuzzlingme.Whynot?Ineversawthemaninmylifetillyesterday.Ineverheardofhim.WhatonearthcanitmattertohimwhetherIspendafortnighthereornot?"

"Therewassomedisputeaboutthefishingbeforeyoucame,"saidMissKing."IheardaboutitfromCallaghanthegardener.Mr.Meldon's

friend,MajorKent,thoughthehadarighttofishinsomepartoftheriver--"

"Butwhatdifferencewouldmybeingheremake?I'mnottheownerofthefishing.MajorKentmayberightorwrong.Butthere'snousehisdisputingwithme.Hewouldn'tbeinabitbetterpositionifIhadturnedroundandgonehome."

"Isupposenot."

"Sowemayrulethatexplanationoutofcourt.Andyetthemanmusthavehadamotiveofsomesort.Noonewouldtakeallthetroublethathehastakenunlesshesawhiswaytogainsomethingbyit."Thejudge

pausedagain,thinkingdeeply.Thenhesmiledsuddenly."Lookhere,Milly.Youdon'tmindmyaskingyouratherapersonalquestion,doyou?"

"Notabit.Myconscienceisquiteeasy.Ididn'tbribethecooktoputparaffinoilinyourdinner,andIshouldneverhavethoughtofpouringCondy'sFluidoveryourbed."

"Hasthatcurate,Meldon,Imean--"

"He'snotacurate,"saidMissKing."He'savicaratleast."

"Ishouldn'twonderifheturnedouttobeanarchdeacon.Buthashe--

It'sratheranawkwardquestiontoask;butyou'renotachild,Milly.Youknowthatyou'reaveryattractiveyoungwoman,andyouhavewhatwouldseemtosomepeoplequiteagoodfortune,besideswhatyouearnbyyourwriting.Hasthismanbeentryingtomakelovetoyou?"

MissKinglaughedaloud.Thecheerfulringofherobviouslyspontaneousmirthshatteredthetheorywhichthejudgewasbuildingup.

"No,"shesaid;"hehasnot.Quitethecontrary.Oh,UncleGilbert,Imusttellyou.It'stoofunny.Hewarnedmeinthemostsolemnway



thatIwasn'ttoattempttomakelovetohim."

"Inspiteofallyousay,Milly,hemustbestarkmad."

"No.Hethought,hereallydidthink,thatIwantedtoflirtwithhim,andhetoldmenotto.Hesaidhecouldn'thaveit.Iwasawfullyangrywithhimatthetime.Nooneeversaidsuchathingtomebefore.Itwasthefirstdayhecalledhere."

"Doesheoftencallhere?"

"Nearlyeveryday.Hewasherethisafternoonwhilewewereuptheriver.Hesaidhewantedtoseemeonmostimportantbusiness."

"IwishI'dseenhim."

"Youwillsoon.He'ssuretocometo-morrow."

"Ifhedoes,"saidthejudge,"I'lltaketheopportunityofhavingatalkwithhim.Buttellmemoreaboutthatcuriousincident,Milly.Areyousurehedoesn'twanttomakelovetoyou?"

"Quite.Icouldn'tpossiblybemistaken.Besides,he'smarried.Hetoldmethatinthemostinsultingway,soastopreventmymakingany

attempttomarryhimmyself."

"Ofcoursethatsettlesit,"saidthejudge."Ithoughtforamomentthathemightpossiblyhavesomewildideaofmarryingyou.Thatwouldaccountforhismakingthedesperateeffortshehasmadetokeepmeoutoftheplace.He'dknowthatIwouldn'tlikeyoutomarryamadparson.Butifitwasn'tthat,Milly,andafterallyou'vetoldmeitclearlycan'tbe,whatonearthistheideaatthebackofhismind?Whyhashearrangedforthissystematicpersecutionofme?"

"Areyousurethefishingdisputehasnothingtodowithit.Ican'tthinkofanythingelse."

"Unlesshe'safool,"saidthejudge,"hecan'tsupposethatmygivingupthefishingwouldmakeitanyeasierforhisfriendtopoach."

"MajorKentwouldn'tpoach,"saidMissKingwarmly."He'sagentleman.Ifyouknewhim,UncleGilbert,youwouldn'tsaysuchthingsabouthim."

"Youseemtoknowhimverywell,"saidthejudge."Ohyes!Youtoldmeyouhadbeenoutyachting.Doesheoftencallhere?"

"HewashereonSundayafternoon.Yes,andonTuesday,nowIcometothinkofit."

"AndyouwereoutyachtingwithhimontheMondayinbetween.That's

notbadforthreedays,eh,Milly?"

Helookedatherkeenlyashespoke,andahalfsmileflickeredonhislips.MissKingblushedslightly,andthen,beingveryangrywithherselfforblushing,grewquiteredintheface.Thejudge'ssmilebroadened.

"Fromwhatyou'veseenofthismanMeldon,"hesaid,"wouldyousupposethathe'saveryaltruisticsortofperson?"



"Whatdoyoumean?"

"Ishethesortofmanwho'dputhimselfaboutagreatdealandtakealotoftroubleforthesakeofdoingagoodturntoafriend?Doyouthink,forinstance,thathe'dindulgeinallsortsofelaboratepracticaljokeswithaviewtofrighteningmeoutofBallymoy,ifhethoughtmypresenceherewaslikelytointerferewithanyplanthathisfriendMajorKentmighthaveverymuchatheart?"

MissKinglookedatthejudgeinsomesurprise.Thenshesuddenlyblushedagain.

"UncleGilbert,"shesaid,"you'retoobad.Iknowwhatyou'rethinkingabout.Butwhydoyousupposethatanyofthesemenshouldwanttomarryme?"

"You'reaveryattractiveyoungwoman,mydear,"saidthejudge."Icanquiteunderstand--WhatsortofamanisthisMajorKent?"

"Iwon'ttalkabouthim,"saidMissKing."It'snotniceofyoutocross-questionmeinthatway.IhatebeingtreatedasifIdidnothingbutgoabouthuntingforahusband;asifIneverspoketoamanwithoutwonderinginmyownmindwhetherhe'dbelikelytomarryme.That'sthewayyoualwaystreatus,andIwon'tstandit.If

therearesuchwomen,andIdon'tthinktherearemany,I'mnotoneofthem."

"No,"saidthejudge;"you'renot.Ifyouhadbeenyou'dhavebeenmarriedlongago.Butinthiscaseitseemsthatthepossiblehusbandishuntingyouwithsomevigour.Hehascertainlydonehisbesttogetridofme,regardingme,nodoubt,asapossibleobstacleinhisway."

"I'msureMajorKenthadnothingtodowiththat.He'snotatallthekindofmanwho'dmakeplansandschemes.Butthewholethingisutterlyabsurd.What'sthegoodoftalkingaboutit?"

"Itisutterlyabsurd.It'sthemostabsurdthingIeverheardofin

mylife.Isimplywouldn'thavebelieveditpossibleifithadn'tactuallyhappened,thatthisred-hairedparson--themanhasaperfectlydiabolicalimagination.Iwonderwhathe'lldonext.Ifeelcertainhewon'tgiveup.Couldhepossiblygetatyourcook,Milly?"

"I'msurehecouldn't.HodgehasthegreatestcontemptforalltheIrish.Sheregardsthemassavages,andisrathersurprisedtofindthattheywearclothes."

"That'sacomfort.IcanfacealmostanythingifIgetmyfoodproperly.ButImustkeepacarefullookout.Meldonseemstomethekindofmanwhowouldn'tstickatatrifle,andhe'sevidentlydeterminedtogetridofme."

"Perhapshe'llaskyououtyachtingand--"

"Andmaroonmeonadesertisland?"

"No,butmakeyou--Oh!Iforgot,youdon'tgetsea-sick."

"No.There'snotabitofusehistryingtogetthebetterofmeinthatway.Ishouldsimplylaughattheworstgroundswellhecanproduce.Ihopehewillaskmeoutyachting.Ishouldliketohavea



nicelongdayalonewithMr.Meldon.He'samanworthknowing."

Theconversationdriftedontoothertopics.Thejudge,afterthemanneroffishermen,rehearsedthecaptureofhistwosalmon,comparedthemtosimilarfishcaughtelsewhere,andmadeenquiriesaboutthenettingatthemouthoftheriver.Ataboutteno'clockhelitafreshcigarandreturnedtothesubjectofMeldon.

"Yousay,"hesaid,"thathe'slikelytocallhereto-morrowmorning."

"He'salmostcertainto.ExceptthedaywhenhewenttomeetyouatDonardhehasnevermissedpayingmeavisit."

"Aboutfouro'clock,Isuppose,ishisregularhour?"

"Hehasnoregularhour,"saidMissKing."He'squiteunconventional.Hemaydropinforbreakfast,orhemayturnupsuddenlywhilewe'redressingfordinner."

"Ihopehe'lldooneortheother.Idon'twanttositwaitingforhimallday.IfhecomeswhileI'mfishingyoumustbringhimuptheriverafterme.Bytheway,howisyournovelgettingon,Milly?Haveyoufinisheditoff?"

"I'vehardlydoneastrokeofworksinceIcamehere.I'mdissatisfiedwiththewholething.I'mthinkingofbeginningitagain."

"Ifyoudo,"saidthejudge,"putMeldonintoit."

"Ishouldliketo."

"Do.Tellthestoryofhisbribingthecooktopoisonme,andI'llbuytwohundredcopiesstraightaway.I'vealwayswantedtobeputintoanovel,andIshouldliketogodowntoposteritysidebysidewithMeldon."

"IwishIcould."

"There'snodifficultythatIcansee.He'lldoequallywellforaherooravillain."

"I'mafraidalltheothercharacterswouldlooklikefools.That'sthedifficulty."

"Theywould,"saidthejudge."I'mverymuchafraidtheywould.Perhapsafterallyou'dbetternotputmein.Lethimpoisonsomeoneelse.Ishouldn'tbeanattractivefigureifIwereposedasoneofMeldon'svictims."

"Perhaps,"saidMissKing,"Imightworkouttheplotinsuchaway

thatyou'dgetthebetterofhimintheend."

"Ifullyintendto.Ishallseehimto-morrow,andifthethingispossibleatall,Ishallmakehimthoroughlyashamedofhimself."

"ThenI'llwaittillafterto-morrow,"saidMissKing,"beforeIdecideonmyplot.ItwillbemucheasierformeifIgetthewholethingready-made."

SirGilbertHawkesbyfinishedhiscigarandwenttobed.Hewas



tolerablywellsatisfiedwithhimself.Heunderstood,sohebelieved,themotiveswhichhadinducedMeldontomakehislifeinBallymoyuncomfortable.HewassurethatMissKingwasabletomanageherownaffairs,andhewasnotanxioustomakeobjectionstohermarryingMajorKent,oranyothertolerablyrespectablemanwhomshehappenedtolike.Heknew,too,thatLadyHawkesbywouldbepleasedtohaveherniecesettledinlifeinanywaywhichwouldputastoptothegrowingnotorietyofthenovelsshewrote.

CHAPTERXXI.

AtbreakfastthenextmorningMajorKentspoketoMeldoninagentle,ratherhopelesstone.Itwasasifhehadnogreatexpectationofhiswordsproducinganyeffect.

"Isuppose,"hesaid,"thatnothingIcansaywillpreventyourthrustingyourselfintothecompanyofthisjudgeto-day."

"Ifyourefer,"saidMeldon,"tomyintentionofcallingcivillyonSirGilbertHawkesby,nothingyousaywillaltermyviewthatitisaveryproperthingtodo,consideringthatthemanisastrangerinthe

locality."

"ThenIbegofyou,J.J.,tobecareful.Don'tsayanythinginsultingaboutMissKing.Rememberthatshe'shisniece,andhewon'tliketohearherabused.Besides,he'lltellherwhatyousayafterwards,anditwouldbeverypainfultohertohearthesortofaccusationsyou'vebeenbringingagainsthersinceshecametoBallymoy."

"Major,"saidMeldon,"we'vebeenintimatefriendsforyears,andyououghttoknowthat,whateverelseImaybe,I'malwaysagentleman.IsitlikelyI'dgooutofmywaytoinsultahelplesswoman?"

"Youwouldn'tmeanto,J.J.,butyoumightdoit.Yourideasofwhat

isinsultingaresopeculiar.Believingthesortofthingsyoudobelieveabouther,youmightsaysomethingveryoffensivewithoutmeaninganyharm.Dobecareful."

"Ishallnotalludetoherpast,ifthat'swhatyouarethinkingof.Ineverhavealludedtoherpasttoanyonebutyou,exceptontheoneoccasiononwhichshebroughtupthesubjectherself.Nothingcouldpossiblybeinworsetastethantoflingthatstoryinthejudge'sface."

"Iwish,"saidtheMajor,"thatIcouldpersuadeyounottobequitesocock-sureaboutwhatyoucallherpast.Yououghttotryandrealisethatyoumaypossiblybemistaken."

"That,"saidMeldon,"ispracticallywhatOliverCromwellsaidtotheScotchPresbyterianministers.Itmayhavebeenasoundremarkfromhispointofview,butI'mrathersurprisedtohearyouquotingandendorsingit.IalwaysthoughtyouwereaConservative."

"Iam.Butwhathasthatgottodowithyourtheoriesabout--?"

"IfyouareaConservativeyououghtnottobebackingupOliverCromwell.Hewasarevolutionaryofanextremekind.Yououghttobe



ashamedofgivingyouradherencetoanysentimentofhis.Youmightjustaswellproposetocutofftheking'shead."

"Idon'tquiteseewhyI'mboundtobelieveinyourinfallibilitybecauseIhappentobeaConservative.AllIsuggestedwasthatyoumightpossiblybemistaken."

"Inputtingyoursuggestioninthewayyoudid,"saidMeldon,"youproclaimedyourselfadiscipleandadmirerofOliverCromwell.I'venoparticularobjectiontothat.I'mnotaprejudicedmaninpoliticalmatters,andCromwellisalongtimedead.Ifyouchoosetoproclaimyourselfaregicide,Ishan'tquarrelwithyou.AllIwantyoutounderstandisthatyoucan'thaveitbothways.NomancanquoteOliverCromwellwithapprovalandstillgooncallinghimselfaloyalist."

"Allthesame,youmaybemistakenaboutMissKing."

"Imay,"saidMeldon;"anymanmaybemistaken,unlesshehappenstobeaPope,whoofcourseneveris,exofficio;butasamatteroffactIveryseldomam,andinthisparticularcaseI'mdemonstrablyright."

"Well,don'tairyourtheorytothejudge;that'sallIcareabout."

"Notbeingaperfectfool,Iwon't.Ihaveaconsiderablenaturaltalentfordiplomacy,asIdaresayyou'veobserved,andI'mnottheleastlikelytostartoffbyputtingupthatjudge'sback.Mygameistopacifyandsoothehiminsuchawaythathewillbecomeouractiveally."

"You'llfindthatdifficultaftertheparaffinoil."

"Ifnecessary,"saidMeldon,"Ishallapologisefortheparaffin,butIscarcelyexpectitwillbenecessary.Thejudgeisasensibleman.Heknowsthatwehavetotaketheroughwiththesmoothinlife.He'llregardthatasamereincident,amoreorlesshumorousincident."

"He'llbeaqueersortofmanifhedoes."

"Andnow,"saidMeldon,"Imustbeoff.It'snearlyteno'clock,thankstoyourlazyhabitofnotbreakfastingtillafternine.Fortunately,I'vestillgotDoyle'sbicycle.Notthatit'satalladependablemachine.Thepedalwillprobablycomeoffonceatleastonmywayin.However,atworst,I'llbetherebyeleven."

Thepedalonthisoccasionheldtoitsplace,andMeldonreachedBallymoyHouseataquartertoeleven.ThedoorwasopenedtohimbyMissKing,whohadseenhimcominguptheavenue.Shegreetedhimwithasmile,and,inreplytohisenquiry,toldhimthatthejudgehadgoneuptheriver.

"Ipromised,"saidMissKing,"tosendhimwordifyoucalled.Ithinkhewantstoseeyou.Won'tyoucomein?I'llsendCallaghantolookforhim."

"Thanks,"saidMeldon."IthinkI'llgoandlookforhimmyself.Ishouldratherlikethewalk,andImightbesomeusetohiminshowinghimthepools.Iusedtofishthisriveragooddealmyselfatonetime.Bytheway,didhesaywhathewantstoseemeabout?"



"Hedidn'tgointodetails,"saidMissKing,"butIratherthinkhewantstoaskyousomequestionsabout--"

"Didhementionthesubjectofparaffinoil?"

MissKingsmiled.

"I'msorrythat'sweighingonhismind,"saidMeldon."Ithoughthemighthavegotoveritbythistime.However,itwon'ttakelongtoexplainit.Iwon'tsaygood-bye,MissKing.Ishallprobablyseeyouagainthisafternoon."

"Won'tyoucomebackforluncheon?Itwillbereadyathalf-pastone."

"No,thanks.Ican't.ThefactisI'mthinkingofdroppinginonMr.Simpkinsaboutthattime.Hemaybecomingupherewithmeintheafternoon.Hehassomethinghewantstosaytoyou."

"Aboutthefishing?"

"No.Thefactis--butI'dbetterletthepoorfellowexplainhimself.I'llrunoffnowandhuntaboutforSirGilbert.Ifhe'shadanyluckatallthismorninghe'llhaveforgottenabouttheparaffinoilbeforeIgettohim.Good-morning,MissKing.Don'tbelievealltheMajor

saysaboutMr.Simpkins.There'snooneIknowwho'sfairer-mindedinageneralwaythantheMajor.ButinthecaseofMr.Simpkinshe'sregularlywarped,andyououghtnottotakeanynoticeofwhathemayhavesaid."

SirGilbertHawkesbywasuptohiskneesintheriverwhenMeldoncameuponhim.Hewasthrowingaflyoveramostlikelypoolandhadalreadybeenrewardedbyarise.Onthebanklayaremarkablyfinesalmon,atleasttwentypoundsinweight,whichhehadcaught.Hewasinaverycheerfulmood,andfeltkindlytowardseveryoneintheworld.

"Don'tletmeinterruptyou,"saidMeldon."You'reatoneofthebestspotsonthewholeriver.I'llsitdownhereandwaittillyou've

finished."

Butthejudge,thoughaverykeenfisherman,wasevidentlymoreeagertotalktoMeldonthantocatchanothersalmon.Hewadedashoreatonceandlaiddownhisrod.

"I'mverygladtomeetyou,Mr.Meldon,"hesaid."ThereareoneortwoquestionsI'dliketoaskyou."

"Ithoughtthereverylikelywere,"saidMeldon,"andIneedscarcelysaythatI'mperfectlyreadytoanswerthem,sofarasIcanwithproperconsiderationforyourpeaceofmind."

"Mypeaceofmind!"

"Yes.Ishan't,ofcourse,sayanythingwhichwouldbeliabletoupsetyou.Iknowyou'rehereonaholiday,andnothingspoilsaholidaysomuchasworryofanysort.Ihavethegreatestrespectandlikingforyou."

"That'swhatyousaidwhenyouweretellingmethatcock-and-bullstoryaboutthedrains."



"Doyle'sdrainsarebad,"saidMeldon."Ihardlyexaggeratedatallaboutthat.YouaskSimpkins.Hewanted--Bytheway,haveyoumetSimpkinsyet?"

"No;Ihaven't.Butitisn'taboutSimpkinsIwanttotalknow."

"That'sapity.IenjoytalkingaboutSimpkins.He'snotabadfellowatall,thoughtheMajordoesn'tcareforhim.ButIexpectyou'llmeethimthisafternoon."

"Thanks,"saidthejudge."IshallbegladofthechanceofformingmyownestimateofSimpkins'character.Iamsureitwillagreewithyours.ButtogetbacktowhatIwassayingaboutthedrains.WouldyoumindtellingmewhyyouwentallthewaytoDonardtowarnmeaboutthedrains?"

"Tobeperfectlyfrank--bytheway,doyouwantmetobeperfectlyfrank?"

"Certainly.Evenattheexpenseofmypeaceofmind."

"Idon'tthinkwhatI'mgoingtosaynowwillaffectyourpeaceofmind.Thefactis,IthoughtatthattimethatitwouldbebetterforyounottocometoBallymoy.Ihopeyoudon'tmindmysayingso.I

needscarcelytellyouthatitwasn'tapersonalmatter.There'snothingIshouldenjoymorethanhavingyouherepermanently."

"IsupposethattheCondy'sFluidandtheparaffinoilwere--?"

"Meanstothesameend,"saidMeldon."Theywerekindlymeant.Iftheycausedyouanyseriousinconvenience--"

"Theydid."

"ThenIapologise,franklyandunreservedly.Thefactis,Iactedunderacompletemisapprehension.IfIhadknownthenwhatIknownowIshouldhavewelcomedyou,anddonemybesttomakeyourstayhere

pleasant.That'swhatIintendtodonow;soifanyoneannoysyouintheslightestjustletmeknow,andI'llputastoptotheperformanceatonce."

"Thanks;andnowperhaps,aswe'vegonesofar,you'llsatisfymycuriosityalittlefurtherbyexplainingwhyyouobjecttomypresencehere."

"Idon'tobjecttoitintheleast.Ididonce,asIsaid;butIdon'tnow."

"Whathashappenedtochangeyourviews?"

"NowthatisaquestionIcanhardlyanswerwithoutgoingintosomeveryprivateanddelicatematterswhichIamsureyouwouldnotcaretodiscuss.Itwouldn'tbepleasantforyouifItalkedaboutthem.You'dbesorryafterwards."

"Wouldmypeaceofmindbeaffected?"

"Seriously.That'sthereasonIwon'tgointothematter."

"Allthesame,"saidthejudge,"IthinkI'llhazardaguessaboutit.



ArethesemysteriousaffairsyoualludetoinanywayconnectedwithMissKing?"

"Isee,"saidMeldon,"thatyou'vebeentalkingitalloverwithher,andthat'sshegivenyouahint,soIneedsaynomore."

"MissKing'sonlyidea,"saidthejudge,"isthatyouthinkI'mlikelytomakemyselfobjectionableinsomewayaboutthefishing.Itappearsthattherehasbeenadispute--"

"ThatmiserablebusinessbetweenSimpkinsandtheMajor.Iknowallaboutthat,andImaysayatoncethatithadnothingwhatevertodowithmyattempttokeepyououtofBallymoy."

"Ithoughtnot.Imerelymentionedittoshowyouthatmynieceisquiteinthedarkaboutyourrealreason,andthatIgotnohintfromher."

"Shemaynotbequiteasmuchinthedark,"saidMeldon,"asshepretendswhenshe'stalkingtoyou.Thesubjectwouldnaturallybeanawkwardoneforhertodiscuss.It'sawkwardenoughforus.Ithinkwe'dbetterdropitatonce."

"Isuppose,"saidthejudgeboldly,"thatyourfriendthoughthe'dhave

abetterchanceifIwerenotheretointerferewithhim."

"Idon'tlikethatwayofputtingthecase,"saidMeldon."WhynotsaythatMissKingwouldhavehadabetterchance?"

"ConsideringthatMissKingismyniece,"saidthejudge,"youwillunderstandthatIratherobjecttoyourwayofputtingit.It'sscarcelyrespectfultoher.Whateverthefactsmaybeinanyparticularcase,there'sawell-establishedconventioninthesematters.Wedon't,anyofus,talkasifitweretheladywhois,sotospeak,theaggressor."

"Iseeyourpoint,thoughinthisparticularcaseIcan'thelp

feeling--Butwhyshouldwegoon?It'sfarbettertodropthesubject."

"ButIdon'tseeyetwhyyoufirstofallwantedtokeepmeoutofBallymoy,andthensuddenlychangedyourmind.Whathappenedintheinterval?"

"Ifyou'requitedeterminedtothrashthematterout,"saidMeldon,"thebestwaywillbetogetatthemainpointatonce.Everythingwillcomeeasiertousafterwehavethatsettled.Haveyouanyobjectiontoourproposal?"

"Whatproposal?"

"Comenow.Iknowthatit'squitethecorrectthingforjudgestoaskridiculousandsillyquestions,affectingnottoknowwhateverybodyintheworldknowsquitewell.Therewasonetheotherday--Idon'tthinkitwasyou--whoinquiredquitesolemnlywhata'bike'was;andIrecollectanother--itwasinahorse-racingcase--whopretendednottoknowthemeaningofthephrase'twotooneon.'Idon'tprofesstounderstandwhyyoualldothatkindofthing,butI'mwillingtosupposethatthere'ssomegoodreasonforit.Idaresayit'swhat'scalledalegalfiction,andisanessentialpartofthemachineryby



whichjusticeisadministered.Ifso,it'sallrightinitsproperplace;butwhatonearthisthegoodofkeepingitupoutofcourt?SittinghereonthebankofawestofIrelandriver,withalargesalmonlyingdeadatourfeet,itreallyisratherabsurdtoaskmewhatproposal."

"Imerelywanted,"saidthejudge,"tomakequitesure--"

"Youwerequitesure.Youcouldn'thavehadtheslightestdoubtinyourmind.YouyourselfbeganthediscussionaboutMissKing'schancesofmarrying--"

"Isaidyourfriend'schancesofmarryingMissKing."

"Itdoesn'tintheleastmatterwhichyousaid.ThepointjustnowisthatyouknewperfectlywellwhatImeantwhenIspokeoftheproposalatpresentunderdiscussion."

"Hasheproposedyet?"

"No,buthewillthisafternoon;andwhatIwanttogetatiswhetheryou'regoingtoputastoptothemarriageornot."

"I,really--MissKingis,Ithink,quiteabletomanageherown

affairs;andIshouldn'tinanycasecaretointerfere,beyondofferingadviceincaseyourfriendshouldturnouttobeanobviouslyunsuitableperson."

"That'sallright.Ican'texpectyoutosaymorethanthat.Iknewallalongthatyoudidn'twanttohavethethingputtoyouatthepointofthebayonet.You'llrecollectthatIhadnowishtoforceitonyou."

"Youmustn'tsuppose,"saidthejudge,"thatI'minanywaycommittedtoadefinitesupport--"

"Certainlynot,"saidMeldon."Amaninyourpositioncouldn't.I

thoroughlyunderstandthat.AndIhopeyoudon'tthinkthatI'vebeeninanywaydisrespectfultoyou.Ididn'tmeantobe.Ihavethehighestpossibleregardforalljudges,andwhatIsaidjustnowaboutlegalfictionswassimplymeanttoavoidprolongingadiscussionwhichcan'thavebeenpleasantforyou.Andafterall,youknow,itwasratherabsurdyourtryingtocomethejudgeoverme,consideringwhatweweretalkingabout.Youwouldn'thavedoneit,I'msure,ifyou'dstoppedforamomenttoconsiderthepeculiarandratherdelicatecircumstancesunderwhichwearecarryingonthisnegotiation.Iexpectthehabitoftalkinginthatjudicialwaywastoostrongforyou.Youforgotforthemomentwhatitwaswewerespeakingabout,andthoughtitwassomeordinarylawcase.Theforceofhabitisawonderfulthing.Haveyouevernoticed--"

"SofarasIhavebeenabletodiscoveruptothepresent,"saidthejudge,"youaregreatlyinterestedinbringingaboutamarriagebetweenyourfriendandmyniece."

"Interestedisadubioussortofwordtouse,andIdon'tlikeit.Letusbequiteclearaboutwhatwemean.InonesenseIaminterested;inanothersenseIamentirelydisinterested--whichistheexactopposite.Youcatchmypoint,don'tyou?Itisaveryinstructivethingtoreflectonthecuriousambiguityofwords.ButIamsureyoucantell



memoreaboutthatthanIcanpossiblytellyou.Withyourlegalexperienceyoumusthavecomeacrossscoresofinstancesoftheextraordinarilydeceptivenatureofwords."

"YouthoughtapparentlythatIshouldbelikelytoobjecttothemarriage,andthereforeyoutriedtokeepmeoutofBallymoy,usingmeanswhichmightbedescribedasunscrupulous."

"I'vealreadyapologisedfortheparaffinoil,"saidMeldon."Afullandampleapology,suchasIhaveoffered,isgenerallyconsideredtocloseanincidentofthatkind.Intheoldduellingdays,whenmenusedtogooutatearlydawntoshootateachotherwithpistols,theonewhohadshiedthewineglassattheotherthenightbeforeoftenusedtoapologise;andwhenhedidthepistolswereputupintotheircase,andbothpartieswentbackcomfortablytobreakfast.I'veoftenwonderedthatmenofyourprofession--judges,Imean--didn'tdosomethingeffectivetoputastoptoduelling.Itwasalwaysagainstthelaw,andyetwehadtowaitfortheslowgrowthofpublicopinion--"

"Then,"saidthejudge,"youchangedyourmind,andcametotheconclusionthatmypresenceherewasn'tlikelytointerferewithyourfriend'splans.Nowwillyoutellmewhy--"

"I'vemadethreedistinctandseparateefforts,"saidMeldon,"to

changethesubjectofconversation.Itriedtostartyouoffonhabits,asubjectonwhichalmosteverymanlivingcantalkmoreorless.Ithoughtyou'dhavetakenthatopportunityoftellingthestoryaboutthehorsewhichalwaysstoppedatthedoorofacertainpublichouse,evenafterthetemperancereformerhadboughthim.I'msureyou'dhavelikedtotellthatstory.Everybodydoes."

"Idon't.".

"Soitappears.You'reanexceptionalman.Recognisingthat,Istartedthesubjectofwords,whichismorephilosophical.YoumightquiteeasilyhavegotoffonthedegradationoftheEnglishlanguageowingtothespreadofslang.Thenwecouldhavespentanagreeable

half-hour."

"ButIdidn'twanttotalkaboutwords.I--"

"Isawthat;soIgaveyouanotherchance.Startingontheannalsofyourprofession,Iproposedaquestiontoyouwhichoughttohavearousedinyouadesiretodefendthepublicutilityofthegreatlegalluminariesofthepast.Ipracticallydeniedthatjudgesareanygoodatall.Insteadofshowingme,asyouveryeasilymighthave,thatitwasthejudgeswhocreatedthepublicopinionwhichputastoptoduelling,andnotpublicopinionwhichgoadedthejudgesontohangtheduellists,you--"

"Iwantedtoknow,andIstillwanttoknow,whyyouchangedyourmind."

"Ifyoucan'tthinkthatoutforyourself,"saidMeldon,"I'mnotgoingtodoitforyou.Amanlikeyououghttobeabletofollowaperfectlysimplelineofthoughtlikethat.Ifyoucan'tseetheplainandobviousmentalprocesswhichledtomychangeofopinion,Idon'tseehowyoucanexpecttotracktheobscureworkingsofthecriminalmind.Thecriminal,asofcourseyouknow,isalwaysmoreorlessdemented,andconsequentlydoesn'treasonintheobviousandstraightforwardwayinwhichIdo.Hismentality--"



"Isupposeyou'rechangingtheconversationagain,"saidthejudge.

"I'mtryingto;butitdoesn'tseemtobemuchuse."

"I'lltalktoyouonanysubjectyouchoosetoselectwithpleasure,"saidthejudge,"ifyou'lltellmewhatitwasthatledtoyourchangeofmindaboutmyprobableactioninthismatterofyourfriend'sproposaltomarrymyniece."

"There'sjustonefactwhichIhaven'tmentioned.Yououghttohave;youperfectlywellmighthaveguessedit.Butasyouhaven't,I'lltellittoyou.WhenIfirstheardofyourcomingtoBallymoy,Ididn'tknowthatyouwereMissKing'suncle.Ionlyfoundthatoutyesterday."

"Thatmakesthingsworsethanever,"saidthejudge."Iwasbeginningdimlytounderstandsomeofyouractionsbeforeyoutoldmethat.NowI'mutterlyandcompletelyatsea.WhyyoushouldhavetriedtostopmecomingtoBallymoyifyoudidn'tknowIwasMissKing'suncleisbeyondmealtogether."

"Ireallycan'tgointothat,"saidMeldon."Youmustunderstanditperfectlywell,andinanycaseI'mboundtorespectMissKing's

confidence.Ican'tpossiblyrepeattoyouthingsshehassaidtomeinastrictlyprivateway."

"Ofcourseifmyniece--butthatpuzzlesmeevenmore.Shehasn'tsaidawordtomeaboutanyprivateunderstandingwithyou."

"Shewouldn't,"saidMeldon,"andIdaresayIoughtnottohavementionedthatsuchathingexists.However,intheend,ofcourse,you'llknowallaboutit."

"Intheend?"

"Yes.Afterthemarriage.Shortlyafter."

"Ifshereallyistobemarried,"saidthejudge,"Iwishshe'dhurryupaboutit.Ihatethesemysteries."

"Youcan'thatethemmorethanIdo,"saidMeldon,"andyoucanrelyuponmetobringthingstotheircrisis,theirpreliminarycrisis--theactualmarriagecan'ttakeplaceforafortnight--assoonaspossible."

"Do.BythepreliminarycrisisIsupposeyoumeantheengagement."

"Certainly.Ishalluseeveryefforttobringthatoffthisafternoon.NowthatIknowyou'reaskeenonitasIammyself,IthinkImaypledgeyoumywordthatitwillcomeoffthisafternoon.But,ifso,I

mustleaveyounow.Good-bye."

CHAPTERXXII.

Itwasnearlytwelveo'clockwhenMeldonleftSirGilbertHawkesby.HewalkedrapidlydowntoBallymoyHouse,andseizedhisbicycle.MissKing,whohadbeenwatchingforhim,ranoutandinvitedhimtostay



forluncheon.Meldonexcusedhimselfbrieflyonthepleaofreallyurgentbusiness.

"Butcan'tyouspareusevenanhour?"saidMissKingpersuasively.

Meldonsprangintothesaddle.Itwashiscustomtomountfromthepedal,andonthisoccasionthepedalcameoff.

"Now,"saidMissKing,"yourbicycleisbrokenandyoumuststay."

"It'sDoyle'sbicycle,"hesaid."Iwouldn'townamachinelikethis.MytemperwouldwearthininaweekifIdid."

Heturnedthebicycleupsidedown,andsettoworkvigorouslywithawrench.

"If,"saidMeldon,"mybusinessweremyown--that'stosay,ifIwereactinginmyprivatecapacityformyowninterests--Ishouldletthewholethingslideatonce."Hescrewedhardatanutashespoke."ButwhatIhavetodoconcernsthewholecommunityhere.Itisalsoofthegreatestimportancetoyou,MissKing."

"Tome?"

"Andmyactionhas,Imayadd,thewarmestapprovalofthejudge.There!Thankgoodness,thatwretchedthingisstuckonagain.Good-byeforthepresent,MissKing."

"But--Oh,dowaitforamoment!Youreallymustexplain--"

Meldonmountedandrodeawaywhileshespoke.Justbeforehedisappearedfromview,heturnedhisheadandshoutedback,--

"You'llknowallaboutitthisafternoon,MissKing."

Heroderapidlydowntothevillage,anddismountedatthedoorofSimpkins'office.Itwasshut.Meldonknockedloudlyseveraltimes,

butreceivednoanswer.HemountedhisbicycleagainandrodeoffathighspeedtoSimpkins'house.Herethedoorwasopenedtohimbythered-hairedservant.

"IwanttoseeMr.Simpkinsatonce,"saidMeldon.

"It'llfailyoutodothat,"saidthegirl,"forheisn'twithin."

"Tellmethis,now,"saidMeldon."Aren'tyouacousinofSabinaGallagher's?"

"Iam,ofcourse."

"Verywell.I'mafriendofSabina's.I'mthechief,ifnottheonlyfriendSabinahasinBallymoy,Idaresayshe'stoldyouthatherself."

"Shehasnotthen;forIdidn'tseeherthislastweekonlytheonce."

"Well,youmusttakemywordforitthatIam.Now,recollectingthatfact,Iexpectyoutoshowaproperfamilyfeelingandtotreatthefriendsofyournearrelationsasiftheywereyourown.IsMr.Simpkinsreallyout,orishesimplyinbedandashamedtoconfessit?"



"Heisnotinbed.Norhewasn'tinitsincenineo'clockthismorning.It'sawayoffheiseversincehehadhisbreakfast;andifyoudon'tbelievewhatI'mtellingyou,youcangoupstairsandseeforyourself."

"Idobelieveyou,"saidMeldon."Wherehashegoneto?"

"HowwouldIknow?Barringthathetookapacketofsandwicheswithhim,Idon'tknowwhereheisnomorethanyourself."

"Sandwiches!Thatlooksasifhewon'tbebackforluncheon."

"Hewillnotthen,forhetoldmeso."

"Didhegoonhisbicycle?"

"Itcouldbethathedid,forit'snotwithininthehouse."

"Thenwemayassumethathedid,"saidMeldon,"anditfollowsfromthatthatheintendedtogosomedistance.Nowtellmethis,whatdirectiondidhestartin?"

"HowwouldIknow?AssoonaseverIhadthesandwichesmadeforhimIwenttofeedthefowl,andbyreasonofthewaythewhitehenhasof

ramblingandherchickensalongwithher--"

"Thanks,"saidMeldon."Ifitwasn'tthatIhavetofindMr.Simpkinsatonce,I'dstayandhearaboutthewhitehen.ButunderthecircumstancesIcan't.Good-bye."

HerodedowntothehotelandfoundDoyle,whowassittingonthewindow-sillofthecommercialroomreadinganewspaper.

"Doyle,"hesaid,"where'sSimpkinsgone?"

"Idon'tknow,"saidDoyle,"thathe'sgoneanywhere;thoughI'dbegladifhedid,andthattoagood,far-offkindofaplace."

"Didyouseehimthismorning?"

"Idid.Iseenhim.Itmighthavebeenhalf-pasttenormaybeeleveno'clock--"

"Onhisbicycle?"

"Hewasonhisbicycle."

"Wherewashegoing?"

"Idon'tknowwherehewasgoing,forIdidn'task,notcaring;unless

itmightbetosomeplacethathewouldn'tgetbackfromtooeasy."

"Itisoftheutmostpossibleimportance,"saidMeldon,"thatIshouldknowwherehe'sgone.IampledgedtoproducehimatBallymoyHousethisafternoon.UnlessIdo,ourwholeplanforgettingridofhimislikelytomiscarry."

"I'msorrytohearthat,"saidDoyle."ButIcouldn'ttellyouwherehewent,notifitwastohavehimhangedwhenyoucaughthim."



"Iamnotgoingtohavehimhanged,"saidMeldon."Ican't;forhehasn'tdoneanything,sofarasIknow,thatanycourtwouldcondemnhimfor.WhatIwantistogethimmarried."

"Married,isit?"

"Yes,toMissKing."

"But--Whatyousaidatthefirstgo-off,thedayyouwaswithintalkingtomeandthedoctor,wasthatyou'd--"

"Ican'tpossiblyenterintoalongexplanationnow,"saidMeldon;"butifyouwanttogetridofSimpkinspermanently,you'llrackyourbrainsandhelpmetofindoutwherehe'sgoneto-day."

Doylethoughtdeeplyforacoupleofminutes.

"Wherehe'sgone,"hesaidatlast,"isbeyondme.ButItooknoticeofthetrousershehadonhimwhenhewasstarting.I'mnotsurewillitbeanyusetoyoutoknowit,buttheywaswhite."

"Good,"saidMeldon."Asithappens,thatfactdoesthrowagreatdealoflightontheproblem.Nomanwearswhitetrousersunlesshe'sgoingboatingonafineday,orgoingtoplaycricket,orgoingtoplaylawn

tennis.Wemaycrossofftheboatingatonce.Simpkinswouldn'tgoinaboatvoluntarily,evenonthefinestday.Wemayalsoexcludecricket;becausethere'snocricketwithinfiftymilesofBallymoyinanydirection.Thereonlyremainstennis;sowemaytakeitascertainthatitislawntenniswhichSimpkinshasgonetoplay.Youfollowmesofar,Isuppose,Doyle."

"Itmightbewhattheycallgolf."

"No,itcouldn't.Youdon'tunderstandthesethings,Doyle;but,asamatteroffact,nooneplaysgolfinwhitetrousers.Itwouldn'tbeconsideredproper,andsowemaybeperfectlycertainthatSimpkinswouldn'tdoit."

"Iwouldn'tsay,"saidDoyle,"thatyou'remuchnearerknowingwherehe'sgoneto."

"Notmuch,butIamalittle.Ihappentoknow--Sabina'sred-hairedcousintoldme--thathehastakenapacketofsandwicheswithhimanddoesn'texpecttobehometilllate.Itfollowsfromthatthathe'snotplayingtennisinthisimmediateneighbourhood.Italsofollowsthatheisn'tgoingtoanyfriend'shouse.Nobodyeverbringssandwichestoaprivatetennisparty.ThereforeSimpkinsmusthavegonetoplayatsomesortofclub."

"UnlessitwouldbeatDonard,"saidDoyle,"Idon'tknowwherethere'd

beathingofthekind."

"Right,"saidMeldon."And,asamatteroffact,thereisaclubatDonard.Iknowthat,becauseIwasonceinvitedtoplaythereinatournament.IthinkwemayfeeltolerablycertainthatSimpkinsisthere.Letmeseenow.It'snotquiteoneo'clock.IfIridefast--I'llborrowthedoctor'sbicycle.Ican'tstandthisloosepedalofyoursanymore.IfIridefastI'llbetherebyhalf-pasttwo.Saytwentyminutestothree.AllowingfortwentyminutesinwhichtopersuadeSimpkinstostarthomeatonce,Ioughttobeonmywayback



bythree.I'llhustlehimalongabit,andthere'snoreasonthatIcanseewhyheshouldn'tbeatBallymoyHousebyhalf-pastfive."

"You'llneverdoallthat,"saidDoyle."Isitlikelyhe'llgowithyou?"

"It'snotexactlylikely,buthewill.Ishallspeaktohiminsuchawaythathepracticallymust.Getmethedoctor'sbicycleatonce."

"Ifit'sthatyouwant,"saidDoyle,"youhaven'tfartogotolookforit.It'swithininthehallthisminute,forheleftitherelastnight,sayinghe'dberoundforitthismorning."

"Good.I'lltakeitatonceandbeoff."

ThegroundsoftheDonardtennisclubarepleasantlysituatedaboutamileoutsidethetownontheBallymoyroad.Meldonreachedthemwellbeforethetimehehadarranged,passingthroughthegateataquarterpasttwoo'clock.Theannualtennistournamentwasinfullswing.Allthreecourtswereoccupiedbyplayers,andaneagercrowdofspectatorsstoodroundwatchingtheprogressofthematches.Simpkinswasperchedontopofastepladder,actingasumpirefortwoladies.Hispositionrenderedhimveryconspicuous,andMeldoncaughtsightofhimatonce.Hetookashortcutthroughacourtwhereamixeddoublewasin

progressandseizedSimpkinsbytheleg.

"Simpkins,"hesaid,"getoffthatladderatonce."

Simpkinswassurprised.Sowerethetwoladieswhowereplayingtennis.TheystoppedtheirgameandstaredatMeldon.ThentheyglancedatSimpkinswithpuzzledsuspicion.Men,aseveryoneisaware,evenmenwithreputationsforrespectability,aresometimesarrestedsuddenlyinthemostunlikelyplacesforcrimesofwhichnooneeversuspectedthem.Itistruethattheyareveryrarelyarrestedbyclergymen,butitisonrecordofthemostfamousofalldetectivesthatheonceassumedthedressofaclergymanasadisguise.TheladywhowasservingwhenMeldoninterruptedthegamehadreadthehistory

ofthatdetective'slife.ShelookedatSimpkinswithawedhorror.Simpkinswriggleduncomfortablyonhisladder.Hewasconsciousofbeingplacedinaveryunpleasantposition,andwasanxious,ifpossible,todiverttheattentionoftheladies.

"Forty-fifteen,"hesaidloudly,buterroneously,forthescorewasthirtyall.ThenheturnedtoMeldonandaddedinawhisper:"Goawayatonce,please."

Hehopedthattheladieswouldgoonwiththeirgame.Theydidnot.Hehadgiventheirscorewrongly,andtheybecamemoresuspiciousthanever.NordidMeldonstir.

"Comedownoffthatladderatonce,"saidMeldon."Idon'twanttomakeaveryunpleasantaffairpublicproperty;butifyoudon'tcomedown,I'llspeakout,andthere'sasmallcrowdgatheringroundus."

Thiswastrue.Theladywhohadbeenservingdroppedthetwoballssheheldinherhandandsidleduptowardsthestepladder.Anumberofpeople,whohadbeenwatchinganexcitingmatchinthenextcourt,leftit,andapproachedMeldontofindoutwhatwasgoingon.Simpkins'consciencewasquiteatease.Hehaddonenothingwrong.Hewasnot,asfarashewasaware,mixedupinanythingunpleasant.His



innocence,thoughitdidnotmakehimfeelcomfortable,gavehimcouragetoattemptanargumentwithMeldon.

"WhyshouldIcomedown?"hesaid."I'mumpiringinthismatch,andIseenoreasonforleavingitinthemiddle."

"Verywell,"saidMeldon."Ifyouchoosetotakeupthatsortofattitudeyou'llonlyhaveyourselftothankfortheunpleasantnesswhichwillfollow.Still,I'vealwayshadaregardforyou,althoughyou'renotwhatI'dcallpopularwiththepeopleofBallymoy,soIwon'tsaymorethanIcanhelpatfirst.HaveyouforgottenMissKing?"

"No,"saidSimpkins,"Ihaven't.WhyshouldI?Imeantosay,there'snothingparticularformetorememberaboutMissKing."

Thesecretaryofthetennisclubpushedhiswaythroughthecrowd.Hewasinanexcitedandirritatedcondition.Everysinglecompetitorhadcomplainedthatthehandicappingwasdisgracefullydone.Somewereangrybecausetheirskillwasreckonedtoocheaply;othersthoughtthattheirchancesofwinningwereundulyprejudiced.Theyhadallexpressedtheiropinionsfreelytothesecretary.Itwasalsobecomingmoreandmoreevidentthatthetournamentcouldnotpossiblybefinishedinthetimeallottedtoit.Thesecretaryhadspentthemorningurgingtheplayersnottowastetime.Itparticularlyannoyed

himtoseethatSimpkins'twoladieshadstoppedplaying.

"What'sthematter?"hesaid."Whythe--Imeantosay,whyonearthdon'tyougoonwithyourgame?"

"I'msorrytointerrupttheproceedings,"saidMeldon,"butitisimperativelynecessaryformetohaveafewwordsinprivatewithSimpkins."

ThesecretaryturnedonSimpkinsatonce.Hewasoneofthepeoplewhohadgrumbledmostloudlyandcontinuouslyabouthishandicap.Hehadalsowastedtimebyraisingobscurepointsoflawontwooccasions.Thesecretaryhadconceivedastrongdislikeforhim.

"Whydon'tyougo,"hesaid,"andhearwhatthisgentlemanhastosay?I'llgetanotherumpire."

"Hehasn'tanythingtosaytome,"saidSimpkins.

"Hesayshehas,"saidthesecretary,"andheoughttoknow."

"Quiteright,"saidMeldon."I'mtheonlypersonwhodoesknow.Simpkinscan'tbereallycertainthatIhaven'tuntilhecomesandlistens."

"Goatonce,"saidthesecretary.

Simpkinslookedroundhimforsympathy,butgotnone.Publicopinionwasdeadagainsthim.ThementionofMissKing,whomnobodyknew,suggestedthepossibilityofsomehorribleanddeeplyinterestingscandal.Simpkinsgotdownfromhisladder.Meldonatoncetookhimbythearmandledhimaway.

"Where'syourbicycle?"hesaid.

"Whatonearthdoyouwantwithme?"saidSimpkins."It'squite



intolerable--"

"MissKingiswaitingforyou,"saidMeldon."Sheexpectsyouthisafternoon,andifyoustartatonceyou'lljustbethereintime."

"ButI'venoengagementwithMissKing."

"Youhavenot,"saidMeldon,"atpresent.Butyousoonwillhaveanengagementofthemostsolemnandenduringkind."

"Whatonearthdoyoumean?"

"Lookhere,"saidMeldon."There'snousebeatingaboutthebushwhenwehaven'tamomenttospare.YougavemetounderstandthatyouwantedtomarryMissKing."

"Ididn't.AllIsaidwas--"

"Thatwon'tdo,"saidMeldon."Youmaythinkthatyoucanplayfastandloosewithapoorgirl'saffectionsinthatsortofway,andsoyoumightifshewaslonelyandunprotected.ButasithappensthatjudgewhocametoBallymoytheotherdayturnedouttobeMissKing'suncle,andhe'squitedeterminedtoseethisbusinessthrough.Iwastellinghimaboutitthismorning.Ipledgedmywordtohaveyouonthespot

thisafternoon,andtogetthewholethingsettledbeforedinner."

"Butthisisutterlyridiculous.I'veonlyspokentothewomanthreetimesinmylife."

"Agooddealcanbedoneinthreeinterviews,"saidMeldon."Inthiscaseitappearsthatagooddealhasbeendone.Idon'tprofesstoknowexactlywhatyousaidtoMissKing--"

"Ineversaidanythingtoher."

"Doyoumeantoassertthatyouwentthroughthreeinterviewswithoututteringasingleword."

"Ofcoursenot.WhatImeantosayis--"

"Nowyou'rebeginningtohedge,"saidMeldon,"andthat'sabadsign,anuncommonlybadsign.Nomanhedgesinthatsortofwayunlesshehassomethingtoconceal.It'sperfectlyplaintomethatyousaidagooddealtoMissKing.Anyhow,sheevidentlythinksyoudid.Shetoldthewholestorytothejudgelastnight,andhespoketomeaboutitthismorning."

"Toldwhatstory?"

"Yourstory.AndtheupshotofitwasthatIpromisedtobringyou

therethisafternoon.It'sallarranged.MissKingistobeathome.Thejudgewillbeuptheriver.IshallleaveyouwithMissKing,andthenjointhejudge.Weshallgiveyouaclearhour,andwhenwecomebackweshallexpecttohearthatthewholethingissettled."

"Ineverheardofsuchanabsurdentanglementinmylife."

"Thereisnoentanglementaboutit.It'sperfectlysimple,plain,andstraightforward.Where'syourbicycle?"



Simpkinswavered.

"Perhaps,"hesaid,"I'dbettergoandexplain.It'saninfernalnuisance--"

"Idon'tquiteknowwhatyoumeanbyexplaining,"saidMeldon."Thereseemstomeonlyonethingforyoutodo,andthatistogoatonceandoffertomarryMissKing.Where'syourbicycle?"

"It'sbehindthetent;butImusttellthesecretarythatI'mgoing.I'mafraidhe'llbeangry."

"Ifthatbald-headedmanwiththewhitemoustacheisthesecretary,"saidMeldon,"Ishouldsayfromthewayhespokejustnowthathe'llbeextremelyglad.Ifyoutellhimthewholestoryyou'llfindthathe'llquiteagreewithmeaboutwhatyourdutyis."

"Ishan'ttellhim,andIhopeyouwon't."

"Icertainlywon't,"saidMeldon."Ihavetoohighasenseofthevalueoftimetowasteittellingstoriestothatsecretary.Comealongandgetyourbicycle."

"It'sjustaswell,"saidMeldonafewminuteslater,whenheand

Simpkinshadmountedtheirbicycles--"it'sjustaswellthatyouhaveonthosewhitetrousersandacoolsortofshirt.We'vegottorideprettyfast,anditwouldn'tdoforyoutoarriveinastateofreekingheat."

"Iwantyoutounderstandclearly,"saidSimpkins,"thatI'mnotgoingtodoanythingmorethanexplaintoMissKingthatsomeabsurdmistakehasarisen;explain,andapologise."

"Ifyouliketocallitexplaining,youcan.ButIstronglyrecommendyoutodoitthoroughly.ImaytellyouthatIhaveCallaghanpostedbehindatreetowatchyou,andifyoudon'tofferMissKingpropertokensofaffection,Ishallhearofit,andsowillthejudge.It's

scarcelynecessaryformetotellyou,Simpkins,thatthejudgeisn'tamantobetrifledwith."

"Tokensofaffection!DoyoumeanthatI--?"

"Ido,"saidMeldon."Imeanthatexactly.Andyou'retodoitasifyoulikedit.Youveryprobablywilllikeit,onceyou'vebrokentheice."

Forafewminutestheyrodeoninsilence.ThenSimpkinsspokeagain,--

"DoyoumeanthatIshould--thatIshouldholdherhandandkissher?"

"Afteryou'veproposedtoher,"saidMeldon,"notbefore.ItwouldbewhatCallaghancallsimproprietyofconductifyoudiditbefore,andhe'dprobablyinterruptyou.Hedoesn'tlikethatsortofthing.Ishouldn'tlikeitmyselfeither,andIdon'tthinkthejudgewould,althoughhe'sevidentlyaliberal-mindedman."

"Icouldn'tpossiblydothat,"saidSimpkins."I'veonlyspokentoherthreetimes."

"You'llhaveto,"saidMeldon,"aftershe'sacceptedyou.It'sthe



usualthing.MissKingwillbeangry,quiterightlyangryandinsulted,ifyoudon't.Youreadanynovelyoulike,andyou'llfindthatassoonasevertheherohasproposedtotheheroine,oftenwithoutwaitingforheranswer,herainspassionatekissesonsomepartofher,generallyherhair.Idon'taskyoutogoasfarasthat;butoneortwokisses--youcanbeginwithherhandifyoulike,andworkongradually."

"OfcourseIshalldonothingofthesort,"saidSimpkins."IshallsimplyexplaintoMissKingthatowingtosomesortofmuddle--"

"IfIwereyou,Simpkins,Ishouldn'ttalktoomuch.Fromthegaspysortofwayyou'respeakingnow,Iimagineyou'renotinparticularlygoodtraining,andyouhavealongridebeforeyou.Itwillbemostunfortunateif,whenI'veplantedyoudowninfrontofMissKing,youareunabletodoanythingexceptpant.Nogirlwouldstandthat.Byfarthebestplanforyouistobreatheentirelythroughyournose,andsitwellbackinyoursaddle,sothatyourchestandlungsarekeptproperlyexpanded."

Simpkinsspokenomoreforsometime.Hemayhaveconsideredtheadvicegood.Hemayhavefeltanincreasingdifficultyintalkingwhenridingveryrapidly.WhentheyreachedBallymoythereweresignsofunusualexcitementinthestreet.DoyleandO'Donoghuewerestanding

onthestepsofthehotel.Asmallcrowdhadgatheredontheroadinfrontofthem.Mostoftheshopkeeperswereatthedoorsoftheirshops.Aconsiderablenumberofwomenwerelookingoutoftheupperwindowsofthehouses.Acheeraroseasthetwobicyclistspassedthroughthetown.Meldontookoffhishatandwavedit.

"Musha,goodlucktoyou,"shoutedawoman'svoice.

"That,"saidMeldon,"isalmostcertainlySabinaGallagher.She'snaturallygreatlyinterestedonaccountofhercousin."

"Interestedinwhat?"gaspedSimpkins.

"Yourmarriage,"saidMeldon."ImentionedittoDoylethismorning,andhehasevidentlytoldeveryoneabouttheplace."

Simpkinsstoppedabruptlyandgotoffhisbicycle.

"I'mdamned,"hesaid,"ifI'mgoingtostandthis."

Meldonalsodismounted.

"Getupatonce,Simpkins,"hesaid."Wearelateenoughasitis."

"I'mgoingstraighthome,"saidSimpkins.

"FromthelookofDoyleandO'Donoghueandthecrowdtherewasinthestreet,"saidMeldon,"Ishouldsaythatthey'llprobablymobyouifyougobacknow.You'renotoverandabovepopularintheplaceasthingsstand;and,ifthepeoplethinkthatyou'rebehavingbadlytoMissKing,they'llverylikelykillyou.FromwhatI'veheardsinceI'vebeenhereIdon'texpectthepolicewillinterferetosaveyou."

"I'mnotgoingtobemadeapubliclaughingstock."

"You'llbethatandworseifyouturnback.Thereisn'tawomanora



girlabouttheplacebutwillbemakingjokesaboutyouifyoufunkitnow.Comeon."

Simpkinslookedbackatthestreethehadjustleft.Thepeoplewerestandingtogethergazingafterhimcuriously.Hemountedhisbicycleandrodeon,followedbyMeldon.

"IshallexplaintoMissKing,"hesaid,"thattheunpleasantsituationinwhichwefindourselvesplacedisinnowaymyfault."

"Youcantrythatifyoulike,"saidMeldon."ButIdon'texpectshe'llbeatallsatisfied."

CHAPTERXXIII.

Inspiteofthefactthathistrouserswerewhiteinsteadofblack,andthatheworeashirtwithasoftcollarattachedtoit,SimpkinslookedhotterandmoredishevelledthanMeldonwhentheyarrivedtogetheratthegateofBallymoyHouse.Theyhadriddenfast,anditwasonlyalittleafterfiveo'clockwhentheyturnedoffthehighroadintotheshadyavenue.

"Now,"saidMeldon,"youcandismountifyoulike,andwalkupunderthetreestocoolyourself.Iquiteadmitthatanappearanceofbreathlesseagernessissuitableenoughunderthecircumstances.Everywomanlikestofeelthatamanwouldcometoheratthetopofhisspeed.Still,it'squitepossibletooverdoit,andIthinkyou'dbebetterthisminuteofbeingalittlelesspurpleintheface.Areyouverythirsty?"

"Iam,"saidSimpkins."Anybodywouldbe."

Hespokerathersulkily.HeresentedthewayinwhichMeldonhadforcedhimtoride,andhedidnotlikepayingavisittoalady,even

thoughhedidnotintendtoproposetomarryher,whenhewascoveredfromheadtofootwithdust.

"You'renottoothirstytospeak,anyhow,"saidMeldon."Iwasafraidyoumightbe.Itwouldn'thavedoneifyourmouthhadbeenallparchedupliketheAncientMariner's,justbeforehebithisarmandsuckedtheblood.Recollectthatyouhavetospeakdistinctlyandslowly,aswellaspersuasively.Youcan'texpectMissKingtodoallthetalkinginthiscase.Herbusinessistoblushandhangback."

"I'vetoldyoualready,"saidSimpkins,"thatI'msimply--"

"Don'tstartanargument;buttakeawispofgrassandwipeasmuch

dustoffyourshoesasyoucan.Idon'tobjecttodustyshoesformyselfintheleast,buttheydon'tsuityourstyle."

Simpkinsdidashewastold,forhedidnotshareMeldon'sindifferencetodust.Healsowipedhisfacecarefullywithapockethandkerchief,givingitastreakylook.

"Idon'tthink,"saidMeldon,"thatyou'veimprovedyourappearancemuchbythatlastperformance.Youwerebetterbefore.Butnevermind.MissKinghasseenyouatyourbest,theSundayafternoonI



broughtyouuptocall,andshe'llrecollectwhatyoulookedlikethen.Inanycase,nothingyoucandowillmakeyouasghastlyasyouwerethatdayontheyacht.Ifsheputupwithyouthen,shewon'tmindyounow.Comeon."

Theylefttheirbicyclesnearthegate,andwalkeduptogetheralongtheavenue.

"Pullyourselftogethernow,Simpkins,"saidMeldon."Thecrisisofyourlifeisalmostonyou.Whenweturnthenextcorneryou'llseeMissKingseatedonawickerchaironthelawn,waitingforyou.Atfirstshe'llpretendnottoseeus;though,ofcourse,shewillseeusoutofthecornerofhereye.Whenwegetquiteclose,soclosethatshecan'tpossiblyignoreusanylonger,shewilllookupsuddenly,castdownhereyesagainwithablush,andexhibiteverysignofpleasurableembarrassment.Thatwillbeyouropportunity.Stepforwardandflingyourselfatherfeet,ifthat'sthewayyouhavedeterminedtodoit.Ishallslipquietlyaway,andbeoutofsightalmostatonce....Hullo!"

Theexclamationwasoneofextremesurprise.Thescene,whenheturnedthecorner,wasnotexactlyashehaddescribedittoSimpkins.MissKing,indeed,wasthere,seatedinawickerchair,verymuchashehadexpected.Besideherwasatablelitteredwithteathings.Ather

feet,onarug,satMajorKent,inanawkwardattitude,withapeculiarlysillylookonhisface.SirGilbertHawkesbysatupright,atalittledistance,inanotherchair.HeappearedtobedeliveringsomekindofanaddresstoMissKingandMajorKent.

"This,"saidMeldon,"isawkward,uncommonlyawkward.Youseetheresultofbeinglate,Simpkins.Thejudgehasevidentlygivenyouup,andcomedownfromtheriver.WhattheMajorisdoinghere,Ican'tsay.He'sthesortofmanwhowillblunder,ifblunderingispossible."

"Ithink,"saidSimpkins,"thatwe'dbetterturnback.Icancallto-morrowinstead."

"Certainlynot,"saidMeldon."It'llbeallright.Thejudgeknowswhatisexpectedofhim,andwilldisappearatonce,makingaplausibleexcuse,soasnottoembarrassMissKingunnecessarily.IshalldealwiththeMajor.Itwon'ttakemefiveminutes."

"Still,"saidSimpkins,"itmightbebetter--"

"Youcan'trunawaynow,inanycase,"saidMeldon."They'veseenus.--Hullo,MissKing!Hereweareatlast.I'msureyouthoughtwewerenevercoming."

HedraggedSimpkinsforwardbythearm.MissKing,blushingdeeply,toMeldon'sgreatdelight,rosefromherchairandcameforwardtomeet

them.Thejudge,abroadsmileonhisface,followedher.TheMajorhungaboutinthebackground,andappearedtobenervous.

"You'dlikesometea,I'msure,"saidMissKing.

"Notforme,"saidMeldon;"butMr.Simpkinswillbedelightedtogetacup."

"Oh!butyoumusthavesome,"saidMissKing."Youlooksohot."



"Mr.Simpkinsishot.I'mnotintheleast.Infact,whatI'dlikemostwouldbeashortstrolluptheriverwithSirGilbertandtheMajor."

"Certainly,"saidthejudge."I'vehadmytea,andI'mquitereadyforawalk."

"Comealong,Major,"saidMeldon.

MajorKentshowednosignofmoving.HehadestablishedhimselfbehindMissKing'schair,andwaseyeingSimpkinswithanexpressionofhostilityanddistrust.

"NevermindtheMajor,"saidthejudge."He'sallrightwhereheis."

HetookMeldon'sarmashespokeandstrolledoffacrossthelawn.MeldonturnedandwinkedangrilyattheMajor.Thejudgebegananaccountofthecaptureofhislastsalmon,holdingfasttoMeldon'sarm.

"Excusemeonemoment,"saidMeldon."ImustgivetheMajorahint.He'soneofthosemenwho,thoughextremelykindandsympathetic,isoftenalittlewantingintact."

"He'sallright,"saidthejudge."He'squitehappy."

"Idaresayheis,"saidMeldon."MypointisthatSimpkinsisn't.Howcanhepossibly--?"

"Nowthatwe'reoutofearshot,"saidthejudge,"Ihopethatyou'llallowmetocongratulateyouonthesuccessofyourplan.Yourmanagementofthedetailswasadmirable."

Meldonwassusceptibletothiskindofflattery,andhefeltthathedeservedalittlepraise.IthadbeennoeasymattertotrackSimpkinstoDonard,andverydifficulttobringhimbacktoBallymoy.HeforgottheMajorforamomentandwentwillinglywiththejudge.

"Ihadratherajobofit,"hesaid."IhadtogothewholewaytoDonardtogethim."

Thejudgeseemedsurprised.

"Really!"hesaid."Ishouldhardlyhavethoughtthere'sbeentimeforyoutogoandcomeback."

"Irideprettyfast,"saidMeldon,withanairofsatisfaction.

"AndtheMajorneversaidawordaboutit."

"TheMajordidn'tknow.Idon'ttelltheMajorallthedetailsofmy

plans.Youscarcelyknowhimyet,SirGilbert.Whenyoudoyou'llunderstandthatheisn'tthekindofmantowhomanyonewouldconfidetheworkingoutofadelicatenegotiation.He'sathoroughgentleman,quitethebesttypeofmilitaryofficer;amanwhomightbetrustedtorunabsolutelystraightunderanycircumstances.Buthehasthedefectsofhisqualities.He'sratherthick-headed,andhetakesanextraordinarydelightinarguing."

"I'mgladtohearyouspeaksowellofhim,"saidthejudge,"nowthathe's--"



"IthinkI'llgobackandgethimnow,"saidMeldon."HehasaverystrongdislikeforSimpkins,andIwouldn'tlikehimtobreakoutinanywaybeforeMissKing.Itmightbeawkwardforher."

"Hewon't,"saidthejudge."Inhispresenttemperhewon'tbreakoutagainstanyone.He'salmostidioticallyhappy.Youmighthaveseenitinhisface."

"Hehadasheepishlook,"saidMeldon."It'sacuriousthing,isn'tit,SirGilbert,thatwhenamanisreallysatisfiedwithhimselfhegetstolooklikeasheep.Idaresayyou'venoticedit,orperhapsyouhaven't.Inyourparticularlineoflifeyoucomemoreintocontactwithpeoplewhoareextremelydissatisfied.Still,occasionallyyoumusthavehadachanceofseeingsomeonewhohadjusthadanunusualstrokeofgoodluck.Mrs.Lorimer,forinstance"--Meldonwinkedatthejudge--"whenthejurybroughtinitsverdictof'NotGuilty.'ButIreallymustrunbackfortheMajor."

ThejudgeseemeddisinclinedtodiscussMrs.Lorimer,butheheldfasttoMeldon'sarm.

"Afterwhatyousaidtomethismorning,"hesaid,"theeventsoftheafternoonwerenotaltogetherasurprise,thoughIconfessIdidn't

knowthatmyniececaredasmuchasshedoes."

"Oh,she'sverykeenonit."

"Soitappears;butwouldyoumindtellingmehowyouknewthat?"

"Shetoldmesoherself."

"She--Oh!"

ThejudgelookedMeldonstraightintheface.Hewassurprised,andevidentlysceptical.

"Ifyoudon'tbelieveme,"saidMeldon,"askMissKing."

"Anyhow,"saidthejudge,"howeveryouknewit,youwereperfectlyright.Idon'tliketogointodetails,butwhenIcamedownfromtheriverthisafternoonthepositionofaffairswasquiteplaintome."

"Shewaslookingeager,Isuppose,andperhapsalittleanxious."

"Ishouldhardlysayanxious.Thefactisthatthey--"

"WastheMajortherethen?"

"Ofcoursehewas,"saidthejudge.

"Idon'tseeany'ofcourse'aboutit.Hemighthavecomeafterwards."

"Ifyou'dseenwhatIsaw,"saidthejudge--"amereglimpse,ofcourseIcoughedatonce.Butifyou'dbeenthereyou'dknowthathecouldn'thavecomeafterwards.Hemusthavebeenthereforsometime."

"Idon'tknowwhatyoumean,"saidMeldon.

"Ifyouwillhaveitinplainlanguage,"saidthejudge,"thewhole



thingwassettled,andtheusualaccompanimentswereinfullswing."

"DoyoumeantosuggestthatmyfriendMajorKentwaskissingMissKing?"

"AswellasIcouldsee,hewas."

"Afterproposingtoher?"

"Certainly.Hewouldn'tdoitbefore."

"There'sbeensomefrightfulmistake,"saidMeldon."Imustgobackandsetthingsstraightatonce."

"Waitaminute.Surelythisiswhatyouwantedallalong?"

"No.Itisn't.WhatIarranged--whatdoyousupposeIbroughtSimpkinsherefor?"

"Idon'tknowintheleast.Totellyouthetruth,Simpkinsstrikesmeasdetrop.Whatdidyoubringhimfor?"

"IbroughthimtomarryMissKing,ofcourse."

"Imusthavemisunderstoodyouthismorning,"saidthejudge."IthoughtMajorKentwasthemanyouwerebacking."

"Youcan'thavethoughtthat,"saidMeldon."Ispokequiteplainly."

"Mynieceseemstohavemadethesamemistake,"saidthejudge."I'msureshewasquitepreparedtotakethemanyourecommended,whoeverhewas,andshehastakenMajorKent.Youcan'thavespokenasplainlyasyouthoughtyoudid.Webothtookyouupwrong."

"WhobroughttheMajorhere?"

"Tilljustthisminute"saidthejudge,"Ithoughtyoudid."

"Ididn't.HowcouldIpossiblyhavebroughthimwhenIwasonatDonardkidnappingthatidiotSimpkins,andcarryinghimofffromthemiddleofatennistournament.ItoughttohavebeenperfectlyobviousthatIcouldn'thavebroughttheMajorhere.Evenyou,withyourextraordinaryfacultyformakingmistakesaboutperfectlysimplethings,mustbeabletoseethat."

"Ifyoudidn'tbringhim,"saidthejudge,"Isupposehecamebyhimself.VerylikelyhefellintothesamemistakethatmynieceandIdid.Hemayhavethoughtyouwantedhimtomarryher."

"Hecan'tpossiblyhavethoughtanythingofthesort.I'vetoldhim

allalong--infact,itwasreallyhisplan."

"ThatSimpkinsshouldmarrymyniece?"

"Yes.We'vetalkeditoveradozentimesatleast."

"Ofthetwo,"saidthejudge,"I'dratherhavetheMajorforanephew.Iscarcelyknowhim,andIdon'tknowSimpkinsatall;butjudgingsimplybyappearances,IshouldsaythattheMajoristhebetterman."



"Heis,decidedly.Simpkinsisineverywayhisinferior.Thefactis--Idon'twanttosayanythingtohurtyourfeelings."

"Don'tmindmyfeelings.They'reaccustomedtolaceration."

"Well,IthinktheMajoristoogoodamanto--"

"Youcan'texpectmetoagreewithyouthere,"saidthejudge."ButIappreciateyourpointofview,andIrespectyourfeelingofaffectionforyourfriend."

"There'snousebeatingaboutthebushinthisway,"saidMeldon."IfyouthinkI'mgoingtoremainpassivelyindifferentwhilemyunfortunatefriendallowshimselftobeentrappedbyawomanlikeMrs.Lorimer--"

"GoodHeavens!"saidthejudge."Mrs.Lorimer!WhatonearthhasMrs.Lorimer--?"

"There'snouseyourpretendingtobeignorantofthefacts,"saidMeldon."Youmustknowthem."

Hewrenchedhisarmfromthejudge'sgripashespoke,andstartedatarapidpacetowardsthelawn.SirGilbertHawkesbyhesitatedfora

momentwithalookofbewildermentonhisface.ThenheranafterMeldon,andcaughthimbythearmagain.

"Holdonaminute,"hesaid."Somethinghasjustoccurredtome.Beforeyoudoanythingrashletmetellyoualittlestory."

"Ican'twait,"saidMeldon."EverymomentincreasestheMajor'sdanger.Furtherendearments--"

"Weneedn'tbeafraidofthat,"saidthejudge,"whileSimpkinsisthere,andIreallydowanttotellyoumystory.Itmay,Ithinkitwill,alteryourwholeviewofthesituation."

"I'llgiveyoutwominutes,"saidMeldon,takingouthiswatch.

"Onewilldo,"saidthejudge,speakingrapidly."AllIhavetosayisthis.ImetMrs.LorimerontheplatformofEustonStationontheeveningofheracquittal,andImistookherformyniecewhowastravellinginthesametrain."

Meldonputhiswatchintohispocketandstaredatthejudge.

"Itwasquiteanexcusablemistake,"saidSirGilbertsoothingly."Anyonemighthavemadeit.Thelikenessisextraordinary."

"Thethingtodonow,"saidMeldonafteralongpause,"istoget

Simpkinsoutofthisasquicklyaspossible.He'snousehere."

"None,"saidthejudge."Whydidyoubringhim?"

"Ibroughthimtomarryyourniece,"saidMeldon."Itoldyouthatbefore."

"Marry!--Ohyes,whileyouthoughtshewas--DoyoudislikeSimpkinsverymuch?"



"No;Idon't.Buteverybodyelse,includingtheMajor,does."

"I'mbeginningtounderstandthingsalittle,"saidthejudge,"andIagreewithyouthatthefirstthingtobedoneistoremoveSimpkins.Weshallhaveagooddealtotalkover,andhispresence--"

"Whenyouspeakoftalkingthingsover,"saidMeldon,"Ihopeyou'venointentionofalludingtoMrs.Lorimerinyourniece'scompany.Afterall,weoughttorecollectthatwe'regentlemen.I'vealwaysdonemybesttospareherfeelings,andIhopethatnothing--"

"Ishan'tmentionthesubject."

MeldonandSirGilbertwalkedbacktogether.Theyfoundthegrouponthelawninastateofobviousdiscomfort.MajorKentwasstandingbehindMissKing'schair,lookinglikeapolicemanonguardoversomespeciallyvaluablelifethreatenedbyamurderer.Hisfaceworeanexpressionofsuspiciouswatchfulness.SimpkinssatonthechairpreviouslyoccupiedbySirGilbert,andlookedillatease.Hehadacupofteabalancedonhisknee.HiseyeswanderedrestlesslyfromMissKingtoMajorKent,andthenbackagain.HedidnotseehiswaytomakinghisapologyorofferinghisexplanationwhileMajorKentwaspresent.AtthesametimehedreadedbeingleftalonewithMissKing.Nowthathewasfacetofacewithherhefeltagreatdifficultyin

givinganyaccountofhimself.MissKingwasdoingherbesttokeepupafriendlyconversationwithhim,buttheMajorrefusedtospeakaword,andshefelttheawkwardnessofthesituation.

"Isuppose,Simpkins,"saidMeldon,"thatyourtournamentwouldbeoverbythetimeyougotbacktoDonard,evenifyoustartedatonce."

Simpkinsrosetohisfeetwithalacrity.HedidnotlikebeinghuntedaboutthecountrybyMeldon,andhehadnointentionofgoingbacktoDonard;buthewelcomedanyprospectofescapefromthehorriblesituationinwhichhefoundhimself.

"Won'tyoufinishyourtea?"saidMissKing.

"Hehasfinishedit,"saidMeldon;"andhe'dbetternothaveanymoreifhemeanstoridebacktoDonard.He'snotingoodtraining,andanotherchunkofthatrichcakeofyours,MissKing,mightupsethim.Good-bye,Simpkins."

"I'dlike,"saidSimpkins,tryingtoasserthimself,"tospeakawordtoyou,Mr.Meldon."

"Soyoushall,"saidMeldon,"butnotnow.Thedayafterto-morrowyoushallsayallyouwantto.JustatpresentIhaven'ttimetolistentoyou."

"Perhaps,"saidSimpkins,turningtoMissKing,"I'dbettersaygood-bye."

HeshookhandswithherandSirGilbert,absolutelyignoredMeldonandMajorKent,andwalkedacrossthelawn.Meldonranafterhim.

"Ihope,Simpkins,"hesaid,"thatthiswillbealessontoyou.Owingtoyourmiserableprocrastination,theMajorhassteppedinbeforeyouandsecuredMissKing.YoumightjustmentionthattoDoyleandO'Donoghueasyoupassthehotel.They'llbeanxioustohearthenews."



CHAPTERXXIV.

MajorKentandMeldondinedatBallymoyHouse,andspentaverypleasantevening.Ateleveno'clocktheystartedontheirdrivehome.

"I'msorry--"saidtheMajor,andthenpaused.

"Ihopenot,"saidMeldon."Yououghtnottobe."

"I'mnot,"saidtheMajor."ImerelymeantthatI'mafraidthisratherunexpected--"

"Goon,"saidMeldon."I'dliketogetatyourexactfeelingsifIcan."

"Isn'tthisrather--ratheranupsetforyou,J.J.?"

"Forme?"

"Yes.Onaccountofthatplanofyours--Simpkins,youknow.Iwas

afraidallthetimeyouwouldfeeldisappointed."

"Myplan,"saidMeldon,"isperfectlysound,andisworkingoutadmirably."

"Butyousaidthatyoumeant--"

"You'remakingoneofyourusualmistakes,Major.You'reconfusingtheendIhadinviewwiththemeansIadoptedtobringitabout.WhatIoriginallyundertooktodowastoremoveSimpkinsfromBallymoy.InthatIhavebeenentirelysuccessful.Hecan't,simplycan't,spendanotherweekintheplace.ImentionedtoDoylethismorningthatSimpkinsintendedtomarryMissKing.Doyleevidentlytoldseveral

otherpeople,forhalfthetownwasouttocheerusaswepassedthroughonourwayfromDonard.WhenSimpkinssneakedbackataboutsixo'clockthisevening,lookinglikeawhippeddog,therewassuretohavebeenalargecrowdtomeethim.IsaidhewastotellDoyletheresultashepassed;butwhetherhedidornot,Doyleissuretohavefounditoutbeforenight.HowdoyousupposeSimpkinswillbefeeling?"

TheMajorchuckled.

"Andwhatdoyousupposewillhappen?"saidMeldon.

"Idon'tknow.They'lllaughathim,Iexpect."

"Laughisn'ttheword,"saidMeldon."They'llgetoutthetownbandandplaytunesunderhiswindowhalfthenight.Hewon'tbeabletoputhisnoseoutsidethedoorwithoutbeingmetbyatribeofsmallboysgrinning.Thereisn'tawomanoragirlintheplace,fromSabinaGallagherup,butwillbemakingfunofhim.DoyleandO'Donoghueandallthepolicewillcallroundtocondolewithhim.Nomancouldstanditforaweek.He'llgoto-morrow,andhavehisluggagesentafterhim.That'sthewaymyplanhasworkedoutwithregardtoSimpkins,andI'venoreasontobeashamedofit."



"I'mgladyoulookatitthatway,J.J.Iwasafraidperhaps--"

"Youneedn'thavebeen.I'mnotoneofthosesmall-mindedmenwhoallowthemselvestobetiedtodetails,andareirritatedbecausethingsdon'tgoexactlyastheyexpect.Ilooktotherealobject,thegreatultimateendwhichIhopetoachieve.AslongasthatcomesoffallrightIdon'tworrymyselfabouttrifles.InthiscaseIconsider--andeverybodywhotakesalargeviewwillalsoconsider--thatIhavebeenentirelysuccessful.Andnowlet'stalkofsomethingelse.I'llmarryyou,ofcourse."

"Webothhopeyouwill,"saidtheMajor.

"Right.That'ssettled.Whataboutbridesmaids?"

"Wehaven'tgoneintothatyet."

"Youmusthavebridesmaids,ofcourse.AndIdon'tthinkyoucoulddobetterthanyourowngod-daughter.She'llbeoverthewhooping-coughbythattime,Ihope."

"I'dlikethatverymuch,"saidtheMajor."Butisn'tsherathersmall?"

"Notatall.Shecanbeleduptheaisleimmediatelybehindthebride.SabinaGallaghercanleadher.I'mgoingtoengageSabinaasnurseandgeneralservant.NowthatSimpkinsisgoing,Doylecangetthatred-hairedgirl,Sabina'scousin.She'lldohimquitewellforallhewants.AndheneverproperlyappreciatedSabina.Shallweregardthatassettled?"

"Isupposeitwillbeallright."

"Quite,"saidMeldon."Youmaysafelyleaveitinmyhands.Andnow,Major,sinceeverythinghasworkedoutinsuchasatisfactorywayforyou,Ihopeyou'lltryandfeelmorekindlytowardspoorSimpkins.

He'llsufferalotasitis;andIdon'tthinkyououghttomakeanyfurtherattemptonhislife.Ialwaysthoughtyouweregoingtoofarinyourresentment."

"J.J.,Ireally--"

"Thejudgewillletyoufishanywhereyoulike;sothatyouhaven'taghostofagrievanceleft."

"I'llaskSimpkinstotheweddingifyoulike."

"That,"saidMeldon,"wouldbearefinementofcruelty,andIwon'tconsenttoitsbeingdone.Wantingtokillthemanwasbadenough.I

neverlikedit.Butwhatyouproposenowisinfinitelyworse.Whycan'tyouforgivethewretchedcreature,andthenforgetallabouthim?"

******

Itwashalf-pasttwelveo'clock.MajorKent,inspiteoftheexcitementoftheafternoon,wassoundasleepwhenhewasrousedbyasharpknockingathisdoor.Hesatupinbedandstruckamatch.

"Goodgracious,J.J.,"hesaid,"whatonearthdoyouwantatthis



timeofnight?Whyaren'tyouasleep?"

"Icouldn'tsleep,"saidMeldon,"withthefeelingonmymindthatIhadbeendoingawrong--quitewithoutmaliceandundercircumstanceswhichexcuseit,butstilldoingawrongtoMissKing."

"Youmeaninmistakingher--"

"Quiteso."

"That'llbeallright,J.J.Don'tworryaboutit.Gobacktobedagain."

"I'mnotworryingintheleast,"saidMeldon."Ineverworry;butwhenI'vedoneawrongtoanybody,Iliketomakeamendsatonce."

"Youcan'tdoanythingto-night.It'stoolate.Dogobacktobed."

"Ihavedonesomething.I'vemadeamends,andheretheyare.Iwantyoutogivethemtoherto-morrowmorning."

Heheldoutasheetofpaperashespoke.

"Ifthat'sawrittenapology,"saidtheMajor,"it'squiteunnecessary.

Butyoucanleaveitonthedressing-table.It'sniceofyoutothinkofmakingit."

"It'snotanapology,"saidMeldon."Apologiesarefutilethings.ThisissomethingthatwillbeofsomeuseandrealvaluetoMissKing.It'stheendofanovel."

"Whatareyoutalkingabout?"

"I'vealwaysunderstood,"saidMeldon,"thatthelastfewparagraphsofanovelarebyfarthemostdifficultparttowrite.NowthatI'vefoundoutwhatMissKing'sartreallyis,IthinkthebestthingIcando,bywayofmakingamendsformyunfortunatemistake,istohandover

tohertheconclusionofanovel,readywritten.I'vebeenatiteversinceyouwenttobed.Hereitis.I'lljustreaditouttoyou,andthenyoucangiveittoherwithmycomplimentsto-morrowmorning."

"'Theeveningclosedslowly,aglorystilllingeringontheshiningwatersofthebay,asifdaywereindeedlothtoleavethesceneithadfoundsofair.Asolitaryfigurebreastedthelonghillabovethelittletown,stridingsteadilyalongthegreyroad,whichwoundeastwardsintothegloom.'"

"Itmayperhapsbebettertomentiontoyou,Major,thoughMissKing

willrecognisethefactatonceforherself,thatthesolitaryfigureisSimpkins."

"'Atthecrownofthehill,justwheretheroadbeginstodipagain,atthespotwherethelastviewofthetownandthebayisobtained,thelonelytravellerpaused.Heturnedround,andforawhilestoodgazingwistfullyatthescenehehadleftbehind.Thehumofthetown'slife,thesuddenshoutingsofthechildrenattheirplay,even,ashefancied,theeternalpathosoftheocean'smurmuring,wereborne



upwardstohimontheeveningbreeze.Faroff,amongthetrees,twinkledasolitarylight.Agreatsobshookhisframesuddenly.There,inthewarmglowofthelamp,whoseraysreachedhimlikethoseofsomeinfinitelydistantstar,satthewomanwhomheloved,whomighthavebeenhis,whowas--Ahme!Hesethisteeth.Hislips,bloodlessnowastheverylipsofdeath,werepressedtighttogether.Heturnedagain,and,stillwalkingbravely,descendedthehillintothegloom.

"'Solifedealswithus.Tooneisgiven,andhehathabundance.Fromanotheristakenawayeventhatwhichhehath.Yet,whoknows?Itwastowardstheeasthetravelled.Thesunhadsetindeed;butitwouldriseagain.Anditisalwaysintheeastthatsunsrise.'"

"Thanks,J.J.,"saidtheMajorsleepily."It'sawfullyfine.Ifyouwouldn'tmindputtingitonthedressing-tableundermybrush,itwillbequitesafetillmorning."

Date post:	05-Apr-2018
Category:	Documents
Upload:	grandmapolly
View:	218 times
Download:	0 times

The Simpkins Plot by G. A. Birmingham

Documents