THE HE HEHHTHEETHHT

Christmas Special Edition 2009

TORSTEN’S BIT Kineton News

THE SEMCON INFORMATIC KINETON NEWSLETTER

Dear Semconite in Kineton/Whitley

Christmas is here, (for those who have not noticed) and for most of you there will probably be some time off…….enjoy!!We, (Semcon as the whole) are still influenced by the global, and not least the automotive situation, but as you’ve most likely noticed following the Semcon intranet, the Semcon business in Sweden has been most impacted. The experts are talking about that the turn around will come within a reasonable timeframe; even if it is going to be at a slow pace….let us hope they are right.

For us in Kineton/Whitley, our relation and

business situation with JLR is continuing to

develop positively, and I am convinced that it will

continue. In the current time it is our obligation

to do our best to support them, so let us just

continue and be professional.

During the year...Expansion of Semcon facilities…

Even if there are hard times, if an opportunity

comes, take it!!

That is why during the spring we decided to rent

some space at Dene Valley Business Park, just up

the road from the present facilities in Kineton.

We are storing cars there and using it for training

purposes, and I am convinced that this new

facility will give us good opportunities when

exploring new business. And if you by accident

will find any “odd” photos from Dene Valley in

this edition of the SINK, just neglect them….

Seriously, we have and are still discussing, the

office use of Dene Valley, but so far no decisions

have been taken.

And please note, and be proud of that we have

been awarded to do the SPA, (Single Point

Authoring) for JLR!! A new task that will occupy

about five full time persons!!

With that, many thanks for all your achievements

and all the effort you have put in to support our

customer, as the 10 MY projects have been

overall ‘tricky’.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy

New Year and I am looking forward to work with

you after the holidays!! TorstenPS: Just for information, a comparison of number of

holidays (incl bank holidays) shows equal between

England and Sweden. The difference is that Swedish

people prefer not to have holiday in November……

or March.. if you wonder why, pls be welcome to

Sweden this time of the year to celebrate holiday…..

enough said!!! TS

The Swan Hotel

In our quest to bring you the latest news regarding

Kineton’s infamous Swan Hotel, our reporter spotted a

very strange addition during his latest investigation.

As part of the ongoing ‘improvements’, the new

design not only sports steel panels over the windows,

but also a unique litter bin and traffic bollard double-

chimney pot replacement.

…only in Kineton!

it’s a local place for local people

MERRY

CHRISTMAS

SEMCONITES!

INSIDE:p5. Five go to Wembley!

p6. Weddings of the Year 2009

p10. Witney man’s solo voyage

p17. Sink Sports

An Hour-by-Hour Guide to the British Christmas!The-drinking-dozing-family-rows-make-average-British-Christmas!

7.55am - get up

8.19am - open presents

8.39am - first bite of chocolate

9.02am - eat breakfast

9.57am - first family row

11.07am - first telling off of children

11.48am - first alcoholic drink

3.24pm - sit down to lunch

4.58pm - first person falls asleep

5.46pm - play board game

11.39pm - time for bed

Tis the season to be jolly. At least that’s the idea.

Based on a UK survey of 4,100 people, this is how the

typical family Christmas day pans out, which appoints

a dubious time of 11.48am for the first alcoholic drink!

Heck if the first family row is scheduled for 9.57am, I’m

thinking alcohol would be on the agenda not

long after!

How does your typical Christmas day compare?

Email your festive itineraries to Steve Mellin. The most

entertaining will be printed in the next edition of

The Sink.

ISSUE No 4 Q4 2009

I must firstly apologise for the tardy delivery of this latest version of the Sink. When I first started compiling it, it was for the summer issue….the autumn issue was missed, but now I am pleased to be able to deliver this special Christmas issue. With all the 10MY fire-fighting we have had to cope with over the past year, The Sink slipped down the list of priorities…but now it is back!

I have now more help from Faye Donohue and Rebecca Horwood, hence the more polished presentation of this edition, so we hope to be able to deliver the full quota of four issues next year.

The Sink is YOUR publication. From the feedback I have received, The Sink is well received and is viewed as an interesting, and sometimes humorous, publication. To continue its success, we need your help. I am looking for a wide variety of articles; funny, interesting, work related or stories about what you do outside of work. This is YOUR publication, and even though you may not like to blow your own trumpet…you might at least tell us you have a trumpet (in the immortal words of Edmund Blackadder). Steve

EDITOR’S NOTES

2009 has been an eventful

year. Engagements, puppies

(steady now) and delivering

babies have all played a part in

this being a busy year. We have

also welcomed a new member

to the team. Matthew has yet to

earn a nickname so answers on

a postcard please.

As another year draws to a close

I think it’s worth noting how well

the team has done this year. As

has been well documented,

10MY projects have been a tad

challenging. The team however

has risen to the challenge

magnificently. All workshop and

training targets have been met

and good feedback has been

received from the customer. An

excellent achievement and one

I thank all of you for.

Mark Wills (Bad Boss)

D&O and Training

Spare a thought for Sally Wills, who instead

of spending her long-awaited holiday on the

golden sands of a Mexican beach, ended up

at the Costa Del Kineton!

Due to the swine flu pandemic that swept

the world earlier this year, Sally’s flights and

dream holiday was cancelled at short notice

so she dragged herself back into work, when

she had planned on soaking up the ‘rays’ in

Puerto Vallarta .

Did her colleagues show compassion and tilt

their heads in sorrowful understanding?....No!

In true, British, team-building spirit – they adorned her desk with beach towel, sun cream, sun hat, sunglasses, cocktails and a snorkel & flipper set!

COSTA DEL KINETON!When is a holiday not a holiday? When Swine Flu strikes!!!

TAAFFECORNER

How is your ship building going? Alright, I’m still painting the hull

How is the drive into work?Gay

Have you been out in Witney recently?No

Any suggestions for the company?No

Any helpful tips for isodraw users?ctrl + Q

Who is the best Beatle?Paul Mcartney

an insight into the mind of Jason Taaffe

interview conducted by Tim Hiscocks

Jason Taaffe

KNICKERS FOR A WINTER BOTTOM!

“Oi! Derek – what’s that hanging off your bike” One

fine summer morning, Derek made the journey to

work on his faithful Triumph. As he pulled into the

Semcon car park, caught underneath on the centre

stand was what, at first glance, looked like a piece

of rag. However, it turned out to be a pair of Ann

Summers G-String Finest Ladies lingerie!

Now many theories have been discussed as to how

this lingerie item became attached to the bike; Did

they fall from Derek’s ruck sack? Did they get picked

up from the road? Did they fall from his washing

basket? Or did the fairies put them there?

Maybe we will never know, but …… his bike

is coincidentally named after another Ladies Lingerie

manufacturer!

We’ll let you make your own minds up...!

I can’t quite believe that it is that time

of the year again! It only seems like

yesterday when we welcomed the SIGS

team to Kineton, but that was nearly 11

months ago now.

I think it is fair to say that 2009 has been a

difficult year for all of us, but the attitude of

the team has really shone through.

Faced with the obvious pressures of a

global recession, the SIGS team had the

unsettling upheaval of their relocation, and

the Owner Literature and JLR illustration team

had to cope with the continuous problems

surrounding the 10MY programmes. On top

of that, the Owner’s Literature team have

successfully delivered a major project to

restructure the entire handbook. The objective

was to make the book more customer-

focussed and to reduce page count. A page

count reduction of around 50% has been

achieved, which has huge saving potential

from a print and translations point of view.

Well done guys!

I have spoken to Ian Luckett at JLR, and he

wants me to pass on his appreciation of all the

efforts made by the team here in Kineton. He

understands and appreciates the amount of

unplanned work we have had to deal with on

top of our normal deliverables, and he wants

me to make it known that it has not gone un-

noticed. It is always nice to hear feedback like

that from any customer, so give yourselves a

good, firm pat on the back.

From 1st January, Semcon Informatic Graphic

Solutions will become a department within

Semcon Informatic Production Limited, as

opposed to a separate company. This decision

will remove some of the administration costs

involved and also maximise efficiency across

all of the teams in Kineton.

Since the relocation from the Willow Barn

offices near Oxford, the benefits that the

SIGS team have brought to the Kineton team

have been apparent. Not only has efficiency

dramatically improved, but so has the SIGS

business overall. All of the team have shown a

great forward-thinking attitude during difficult

times, and I look forward to concentrating on

developing the SIGS business in the new year

as I actively search for new opportunities.

It just remains for me to wish you all a very

restful Christmas, and I’m looking forward to a

much improved and prosperous new year.

Steve Mellin

OL&GEnd of Term Report Article by Pete Boyles

God Jul (... Och Ett Gott Nytt Ar!)

Christmas Eve is the big day in

Scandinavia, equivalent to Christmas

Day in the US. This is the day when

all children get their presents, the holidays

start and most important of all - you can

start to dig into the traditional Scandinavian

Christmas food! At lunch time you eat a big

Christmas buffet, filled with sausages,

meat balls, potatoes, all sorts of

herring, pies, and more exotic

food like Jansson’s temptation

and herring sallad.

It is almost magic with all

the dishes to choose from

- no wonder the expression

smorgasbord originates

from the Swedish Christmas

buffet. While it is hard to believe on Christmas

Eve, you do get tired of it in the long run, since

the Christmas food leftovers lasts for at least

two weeks!

In the afternoon Swedes will sing Christmas

carols and dance. Then the highlight of the day

follows when Santa arrives with presents to all.

Shortly thereafter rice pudding is served. An

almond is put in the pudding and the person

who gets the almond is the one who is getting

married (or remarried!) the following year.

After Christmas Eve dinner, a friend or family

member dresses up as tomte or Christmas

gnome. The tomte, unlike Santa Claus is

supposed to live under the floorboards of

the house or barn and ride a straw goat. The

make-believe tomte, wearing a white beard

and dressed in red robes, distributes gifts

from his sack. Many are given with funny

rhyme that hints at the contents.

Christmas Day marks the beginning of a long

resting period. This does not mean that the

celebrations are over. Most people have

another week or two off from work,

since they only have to take a few

days of vacation between Christmas

and New Years and the

Christmas tree is not to be

thrown out until the weekend

three weeks after Christmas.

Then “you dance Christmas

out” at a so called”Christmas

tree plundering,” where you strip the tree of

decorations, throw it out of your home, and

have your last Christmas meal.

And then you just wait another three months

for the light to return...

Hej, TomtegubbarIt is tradition to sing a classic Swedish drinking

song whilst holding up a snaps glass and

heartily belting out the one snapsvisa (snaps

song) Hej, tomtegubbar:

Hej tomtegubbar, slå i glasen

Och låt oss lustiga vara!

Hej tomtegubbar, slå i glasen

... which means Merry Christmas (...and a Happy New Year) in Swedish in case you didn’t figure it out!

How to celebrate Christmas the Swedish way...

‘POTATIS KORV’(Sweden Christmas Sausage)

2 lbs. lean pork, ground

2 lbs. lean beef, ground

6 med. potatoes, shredded (uncooked)

3 tsps. salt

2 tsps. ground allspice

1/2 tsp. pepper

1 med. onion, chopped

Mix all ingredients well together. Form into rolls about

4 inches long, 2 inches in diameter. Cut waxed paper

or parchment paper into 6-inch lengths and warp

sausage well, tying both ends tightly with string. Prick

waxed paper with a fork (do not prick parchment)

and place in kettle of simmering salted water. Cook

slowly for about 45 minutes. This sausage is delicately

flavored. Some people prefer slightly more seasoning.

Och låt oss lustiga vara!

En liten tid

Vi leva här

Med mycket möda

Och stort besvär!

Hej tomtegubbar, slå i glasen

Och låt oss lustiga vara!

A Swede loosely translated this as ”Life is

tough and short so let’s get drunk.” Google

translate might offer you something more

accurate.

It was the day before the match. Steve, Keith, Bec,

Jason all sat and listened to the news coming in

that there was a Tube strike in London. As the

match was to be played in London’s Wembley

stadium, Steve Googled to check if their train

would be affected. It was!

“Cripes!” exclaimed Steve “They’ve only gone and

bally-well cancelled our train”. “How are we going

to get to the match now?” asked Bec. “and how is

Paul going to get there?”. Paul, Bec’s boyfriend

and ex-employee of SIGS, was going to meet up

with the other four at Bicester station.

“Don’t worry you lot” said Keith as he tried to

calm the nervous tension, “I’m sure we can find

a spiffing little parking space near the stadium.”

Keith took control of the mouse and quickly and

expertly surfed the interweb until a suitable space

was found. “Come on Mellin, get your card out”

ordered Keith. Steve obliged and Keith tapped in

the digits into the computer.

Within a minute the parking space was booked

and the crisis had been averted. “Yippee” shouted

Jason “Hooray for Keith!”.

The match in question was an England world cup

qualifier against the mighty Andora. Steve had

purchased 5 tickets for a team adventure. They

were to be offered to all of the owner literature

and graphics team on a first come, first served

basis. The response was so underwhelming that

Keith was drafted in from team Bad Boss and ex-

employee Paul was invited, even though he is a

Manchester United fan.

The next afternoon the Kineton four set off on

their journey in Steve’s clapped-out old Vectra.

“Can we have the Beatles on?” pleaded Jason.

“Leave it out” Bec replied “We’re not even out of

Kineton yet!”

Forty-five minutes later the famous five were

complete as they picked up Paul from the Oxford

services.

The famous five arrived at Wembley in good time,

parked up right next to the station and walked up

Wembley way to the stadium. “Wembley baby!”

yelled Keith as he broke out in a crazy ‘Saturday

Night Fever’ style dance.

All five made their way to a street vendor where

they parted with an extraordinary amount

of money for a small drink of ginger beer or

cherryade, before making their way into the

stadium.

A great view greeted the famous five as they

found their seats.

Bec got very excited when David Beckham started

warming up and used up the last of her camera’s

battery zooming in and taking photographs of

the aging ex-captain.

To cut a long story very short, England won 6-0 in

the most boring game ever witnessed!

Oh my god, I can’t believe it.

I’ve never been this far

away from home.”

“I’m gonna live forever,

I’m gonna learn how to

fly!, Fame!”

Weddings of the Year 2009Mark Wills & Lisa Barnes.On Wednesday 12th August, Mark finally

got married to Lisa at Gretna in Scotland.

Family and friends gathered in the car park

at Gretna before the service took place. The

little old lady looking out of her flat window

onto the car park thought all her Christmases

had come at once when she saw Dan (Mark’s

eldest) getting changed into his Navy uniform

for the service. During the short service I am

not too sure who looked the proudest – Mark,

on his fine achievement on marry someone

so beautiful in his elderly condition, or Lisa

on the fact that she had finally convinced

Mark that marriage was a good idea after all

these years!

After the service a meal was had at a local

hotel and contrary to the rumours that Mark

squeaks when he walks, he finally dug

deep, very deep, into his pocket and bought

everyone a meal. I know this will come as

a shock to many but he really did pay for

everyone’s meal (even though we could

only choose from the children’s menu!).

Congratulations to you both on finally tying

the knot. Sally Wills

Tristan Spaargaren & Claire Dewhurst Earlier on in the year on June 19th 2009,

Tristan and Claire got married in a 400 year

old Tithe barn at Meols Hall in Churchtown

near Southport. They then jetted off to

beautiful Mauritius for their honeymoon.

Who’s Next?Larry Butterworth and Barbara Jeffries will tie

the knot in July next year..

Mike Grafton got engaged to Andrea Cleaver

this year, no date has been set as of yet!

Congratulations to Kevin Hendrick who came

up with the winning caption for the photograph

below.

“When faced with difficult stubborn

skid-marks, Phil turned to Matt for

expert advice”

Thanks to all of you who sent in a caption…better luck this time.

Here is your new photo requiring a caption:

As before, please send your entries via e-mail

to Steve Mellin, with ‘Caption Competition’ in

the subject window of your mail.

Thank you.

COMPETITIONCORNER

Earlier in the year, If you noticed Andrew

Holbourne hobbling around the office

recently, it wasn’t because of something

mundane, like an in-growing toenail or

bunions…Oh it was much more funny…

er, I mean, serious than that!

Even though it is 2009, Andrew chooses

to shave occasionally with a cut-throat

razor blade! …wait for it…you’re making

your own jokes up now!... Anyway to

cut (excuse the pun) a long story short,

soon after sharpening it one morning, he

dropped it on his toe, resulting in rather

a nasty wound and the subsequent

hobble.

Luckily for him, it didn’t catch anything

else on its way down!

We are pleased to report that the wound is

healing well, and the hobble has reduced

itself to a slight limp.

Note to Andrew: Gillette – the BEST a

man can get!

Note to all: Don’t eat any home-made

pies Andrew’s wife makes!

That’s Gotta Hurt!..

Well it has been a busy year for everyone

in the Diagnostic and Warranty team.

L322 nav Video, IDS Software management

and DVD over the web all went to market. We

then decided to completely change the

diagnostics tool and launch SDD (Symptom

Driven Diagnostics). All these projects have

put added pressure on to the team. A big

thank you to everyone for all their hard work.

Andy Holbourne

DIAGNOSTICS BIT

I regret now asking for photo’s of people’s ‘pets’, but see if you can guess who sent in which ‘pet’...

Answers on page 13 Article by Faye Donohue

1. 2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

20.semcon pets

Hamish & Graham

Nelly

Titch

Pepper

Cedric Sneer

Winnie

Beaky

7.

8.

9.13.

15.12.

17.

19.

16.

10.

11.

14.

Alvin Simon & Theodore

Bubbles

‘Old Crow’

Big Trevor

Gordon the Magic Shrew

Matt’s Pet ‘Teddy’

Gavin’s pet chicken Ben Bamby

Little Ben George

Chester

Barbara 18.

The 29-year-old man from Witney is

embarking on an eight month, 75

nautical mile journey around the Isle

of Wight beginning on 9th November 2010,

aboard a 1:100 scale HMS victory.

Now deep in preparation, Jason Taaffe had

to force himself out of his “push, push”

mood of getting things ready, to reflect on

his excitement and fears about the voyage.

“You ask how I’m feeling about leaving, but I’m so busy, finishing painting the parts of the ship, to make sure the glue is fully dry by next November”. Jason said.

“It’s funny; I’m imagining a beautiful day, sailing along. You’re not imagining struggling along in a storm, you only think about the good stuff. This model boat is truly a great one. I had to import it from Canada and it took 60 days to arrive, that was before the problems I had with customs. I also have had specially made, an exact replica of Admiral Nelson’s uniform, which I will be wearing for the full 3 month journey.”

“I know it’s going to be tough, I know it will be miserable the first three days, and the first month will be hard, and after that it will be a bit easier. I spent some time in Trollhattan in preparation for the loneliness.” He said.

Despite the expected tough times and hard work, Jason said he was determined to have fun during the trip.

This included a planned “glamour shot” as he sailed around the Needles, and celebrating Christmas out on the ocean by himself.

Jason must also overcome the scale issue. “As the boat is 1:100 scale of the original boat I’m going have to work out how I’m going to fit in it. I have started an intense diet, eating very little except for an early morning sugar rush.” Jason is seeking a new source of sugar rush after struggling cancer charity Macmillan was found £8.95 short after Mr Taaffe was found continually stealing from their food charity boxes in unit 8’s kitchen. “I’ve made mistakes, we all have. I actually didn’t realise it was a cancer charity I thought it was for Greenpeace, which would have made it ok.”

“There will be milestones, which will be amazing: sailing past the harbour at Ryde, seeing landmarks like the Needles and the beaches at Sandown and also imagining the journey taken by the original ship back in October 1805.”

“I’m just going to think: `I can achieve this’. Go for it, Nelson power!”

Reporters: Lee Thornett & Andy McCabe

Solo sailing around the Isle of Wight: Witney man plans to break record

Admiral Taaffe

“I also have had specially made, an exact replica of Admiral Nelson’s uniform, which I will be wearing for the full 3 month journey”

1. 12 = S of the Z Signs of the Zodiac

2. 54 = C in a D (with J’s) Cards in a Deck (with Jokers)

3. 9 = P in the S.S.

4. 88 = P.K.

5. 18 = H on a G.C.

6. 90 = D in a R.A.

7. 4 = Q in a G

8. 24 = H in a D

9. 1 = W on a U

10. 57 = H.V.

11. 13 L in a B.D.

12. 11 P in a F.T.

13. 64 S on a C.B.

14. 366 D in a L.Y.

15. 26 L of the A

16. 7 W of the W

17. 39 S

18. 20 N on a D.B.

19. 1 P in a P.T.

20. 4 S in a Y

Christmas QuizNot a Christmas theme, but a Numbers & Letters quiz... see if you can work out the answers from

the clues given, the first two answers are shown.... all answers are on page 13.

HEALTH & SAFETYThe Health and Safety dept would like to strongly

advise against the use of office coffee mugs to

grow bacteria and microorganismas. It is not only

dangerous but could be seriously detrimental

towards your health, especially when the mug is

still being used to drink out of.

• PLEASE CLEAN YOUR MUG AFTER

EVERY USE.

• DO NOT LEAVE YOUR UNCLEAN MUG

OVERNIGHT OR OVER THE WEEKEND TO

FESTER, AS YOU MAY HAVE A SURPRISE ON YOUR

RETURN.A PARTICULARLY UNCLEAN MUG FOUND

ON TIM HISCOCKS DESK

TIM HISCOCKS ADMITTING HE HAD NOT WASHED HIS

MUG FOR A “GOOD COUPLE OF MONTHS’”

During 2010 Semcon Kineton will be

organizing a series of ‘events’ for contractors

and employees to enter. The aim is to run ten

events before Christmas 2010, and award

trophies at next year’s Christmas lunch.

During the various competitions it’s hoped

that those not competing will show their

support.

Four teams will be made up from the willing

volunteers. There will be team and individual

winners based on the points totals at the

end of the competition.

Each team will have a Captain, but people

can choose to compete or sit out of events

as they wish.

Events will cover as wide a variety of skills

and disciplines as practical. Over the next

few weeks you are invited to make (polite,

realistic and legal) suggestions for events.

Some suggestions to get you started are:-

Pub Quiz, Vehicle push from Kineton to

Gaydon for charity, train for and enter a

local half marathon, cycling, car/motorbike

time trial, orienteering, Darts, snooker, five-

a-side football, Go-Karting, photographic

competition etc.

Veronica will send out an email in the new

year asking for those who wish to take part

to make themselves known. You will also be

asked to make suggestions for competitions,

activities and events.

ARE YOU UP FOR A CHALLENGE?

ROCKETCHAIR

An entrepreneurial employee has invented a

‘rocket chair’ that will not only hover but will

fly. Mr Tim Clay, a technical illustrator with no

mechanical background built his masterpiece

in the office using ‘random objects and

accessories’ that he found lying around. He

said that the idea of a rocket chair came to

him when he was watching his favourite tv

programme Scrapheap Challenge, and had

dreamt about it ever since.

He is planning to take the invention to the BBC

programme Dragon’s Den, to see if he can

persuade any of the Dragons to invest in his

idea. We will keep you posted in the next issue

if The Sink....

report by Faye Donohue

M&T Year reviewAs everytbody has experienced it’s been a challenging year to say the least. The

10MY projects were the biggest challenge we had but we managed to handle all

of the issues and deliver (whether it be WSM, CR, TSB,UPS etc) within the agreed

timescale.

The WSM team are making good progress with X351 with the majority of the WSM

procedures being delivered and available before the Christmas break….Keep going guys

we are almost there….!!!!!

As Torsten mentioned in the Q3 review, the TVM project has had it’s most successful year in 2009 with savings in excess of £13,000,000 and still counting. Well done to Phil, Kev

and the other guys who have supported the TVM project through 2009. let’s hope 2010

holds as many opportunities for the team.

The TSB team have had a busy 2009 due to the 2010MY issues but they have handled

the issues and delivered a number of Recalls, Service Action and UPS under some very

tight deadlines.

Kev and Ross have been handling all the change requests and hotline calls in 2009. Again, they have had some challenges through the year but we have remained in target with turn around times.

I would like to thank everyone in the team for remaining focused on the project(s) through

the challenging times and delivering to JLR. I know it’s been difficult but we should all

be proud of what we achieved this year. Looking at the 2010 work plans we have a more

staggered project breakdown in 2010. This should provide us a more even split of work

throughout next year.

I hope you all have a relaxing and enjoyable Christmas holiday

Mark Hardy.

Manager – Workshop Methods and Repair Times

ANSWERS...‘Pet’ answers:

1. Ruaridh Phillips

2. Ross Barnby

3. Tim Hiscocks

4. Lee Thornett

5. Faye Donohue

6. Stephen Price

7. Ian Smith

8. Richard Caswell

9. Rob Watts

10. Ian Smith

11. Chris Greaves

12. Gordon Harradine

13. anon submission on

behalf of Matt Hunt

14. Keith Frendo

15. Richard Pratt

16. Gordon Harradine

17. Kevin Hendrick

18. Phil Kemp

19. Gordon Harradine

20. Matt Hunt

Quiz answers:

3.Planets in the Solar System

4. Piano Keys

5. Holes on a Golf Course

6. Degrees in a Right Angle

7. Quarts in a Gallon

8. Hours in a Day

9. Wheel on a Unicycle

10. Heinz Varieties

11. Loaves in a Baker’s Doken

12. Players in a Football Team

13. Squares on a Chess Board

14. Days in a Leap Year

15. Letters of the Alphabet

16. Wonders of the World

17. Steps

18. Numbers on a Dart Board

19. Partridge in a Pear Tree

20. Seasons in a Year

A hectic day for Mark in Dean Valley...

“I can see this rocket chair really taking off.” Tim Clay

COULD THIS BE SEMCON’S FIRST INVENTION?

George continues to consistently

support the England rugby team, as

they consistently lose. Just hope he

doesn’t switch his allegiance to the

England football team before they

tackle the might of Slovenia & Algeria

next summer!

Ian continues to consistently amaze us

all with his healthy resilience - I don’t

know what the Glee Club are doing

to him at lunch--times, but it must be

working!

Kerrie continues to consistently be

away on maternity leave. And who can

blame her, there’s nothing quite like the

lure of smelly nappies! I have a funny

feeling that we may be seeing her

back quite soon. I had heard that she

might want to return to achieve a level

of intellectual conversation & stimulus

that babies just don’t provide. But on

2nd thoughts, I’m not so sure that she’s

likely to find it!

Gordon continues to consistently

split himself in 2, by making guest

appearances in the Print, Distribution,

Translation, Systems team, while still

fulfilling his demanding role (or is that

just filling his breakfast rolls) in Mark

Hardy’s team.

Many thanks to all for their consistent

hard work in these busy times with

TOPIx looming

large on the

horizon.

Joyeux Noël et Bonne Année à toutes et à tous!

Neil Carey

Who was screaming like a girl at Alton Towers?

Chris Greaves didn’t seem to be enjoying

this ride very much at all, whilst his

girlfriend looked completely unfazed!

Spotted!Semconites out and about

Consistency In Print, Distribution Translation, Systems Corner.

Matt Douglass of Global Diagnostics support, has a friend in showbiz! The said friend was kind enough to get tickets for Matt to go to Top Gear.

Matt was very pleased with himself and got to the studio extra early. Not being the tallest chap in the world, Matt made his way to the very front of the crowd, determined to get the best view of the action. Filming started and Clarkson did his bit, then out of the blue “cut” is shouted “The beautiful people are not all at the front....and move that short chap out of the way”. The models where brought in and poor Matt was pushed to the back! Aahhh!

Have you spotted any Semconites out and about? Send your pics (and stories!) into Steve Mellin.

SEMCON BABIES

Jake GriggThis little fella beat the

ambulance so was delivered

by an unexpected Ian on the

bathroom floor! Birth was at

8:29am on the 26th October,

with little Jake weighing 7lb

4oz. Congratulations to both

Ian and his wife Lynsey.

Charlie McCabeCongratulations to Andy McCabe and his wife

Claire who have a new addition Charlie, born at

9:30am on the 5th of June.

Georgina WorrallKerrie Porter and partner Sean have a new addition

Georgina, born on the 11th May at 10:14am weighing

6lb 3oz. Labour to birth took 2.5 hours, mostly spent

deciding if it was actually labour or not!

2009

Semcon Christmas LunchFine dining.

On Friday 11th December, Semconites from

Kineton and Whitley all enjoyed a festive meal

and drink at Mallory Court in Leamington Spa.

As the meal was being paid for by Torsten (on

expenses obviously!) which meant that Tiny

Tim would have a Christmas after all. Well,

that’s what we thought.

Everyone sat down to eat, drink, and be merry,

and the waitresses brought out the bread.

Hopefully they didn’t hear the comment from

one wag, “If they’re the strippers I want my

money back!” ..........

at Mallory Court

Semcon Christmas Lunch

Anyway, Tiny Tim wasn’t going to have quite the

Christmas meal he thought. The starters were

very tasty and well presented, if a little small.

The main courses however were a triumph, the

lamb in particular was delicious. However most

of the meals had gone a little cold by the time

everyone realised that the vegetables weren’t

coming in a separate dish.

Still, what was there was very tasty, and Torsten

agreed that next year he should arrange for a

Fatted Moose to be slaughtered. Although it

may mean that he has to find a replacement to

run the shop in Kineton when she’s gone.

Larry Butterworth

at Mallory Court

At last Leicester finally has a sporting

hero. The city that up until now was

famous for crisps and unnaturally close

relationships between cousins, finally has a

famous son. Phil “The Silver Bullet*” Kemp

triumphed gloriously by finishing a valiant

42nd in the Valencia Moto GP.

With tears in his eyes, the roar of the crowd in his

ears, and a roll-up in his mouth Phil roared away

from the start line. His rear tyre lighting up the

tarmac with a screech as the Yamaha struggled to

lay down the full 12 horse power of the throbbing

beast between the Kempster’s legs.

The brilliant Spanish sun shone brightly of Phil’s

mighty machine, lighting up the red “L” on the

Leicesterman’s livery. Unfortunately due to a poor

tyre choice, Phil was passed going in to the first

corner by Valentino Rossi, 40 other riders, and a

bloke with a mobile hot dog stand.

But this did not deter our hero as he powered his

way through lap after lap and showing resolve

unheard of in modern sport as he returned the

following day to complete the last 6 laps. He

showed that he has what it takes to compete with

the moderns greats.

Despite what has been described by most

pundits as a disgrace, Phil has remained upbeat

about his career and relishes the tasks ahead. It

has been a dream of Phil’s since he was a young

boy to be involved in this spectacle, “Getting to

hang around with young men dressed in leather

has always appealed to me, and getting to ride a

bike is also a bonus”

* for legal reasons we must point out that Phil’s middle

name is actually Ashley

Sports Reporter: Kevin Hendrick

THE SILVER BULLET!

Peugeot Over 35s goalkeeper Ian Luckett, pro-duced a man-of-the-match performance to

help his team to cup victory. Ian (who must have been playing in the Over 35s team for years!) pulled off a string of saves, including a point blank header in the dying seconds to ensure that he got his hands on the WH Richards cup. When Ian isn’t playing in the Central Warwickshire Over 35s league, he is the Training Development Manager at Jaguar Land Rover.

Sports Reporter: Steve Mellin

IAN ‘SAVES’ THE DAY