38
THE SMART ONE "Pilot" written by Donald Todd February 3, 2012
THE SMART ONE!!
"Pilot"!!
written by!!
Donald Todd
!February 3, 2012
THE SMART ONE
"Pilot"
TEASER
FADE IN:
EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - DAY (FLASHBACK)
SUPER: TWENTY-FIVE YEARS AGO
A summer day, on a normal upscale suburban street, 1987. By the street in front of a home, a cheerful girl, CANDY(9) sets lemonade and cups on a table, as her sisterJUDITH (10), more serious, comes down the driveway.
JUDITHWhy are you setting up here?
CANDYBecause Mom said we could.
JUDITHMom should do her research first.
She shows a binder of reports. Her little sister groans.
JUDITH (cont'd)See? I've analyzed traffic patternsin the neighborhood to maximize thecustomer potential; I've surveyedrival lemonade concerns to see whichmight be ripe for takeover orfranchise opportunities; and I'vewritten up a business proposal incase we need a loan to float usthrough the difficult startup period.
(snaps binder closed)That is how to sell lemonade. Byusing your brains.
Beat. Then Candy turns to the street and pulls up hershirt. Immediately, THREE BOYS riding by on bikes skidto a stop, and fight to buy lemonade. Judith SIGHS.
MATCH DISSOLVE TO:
INT. UPSCALE HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT
SUPER: PRESENT DAY. JUDITH (JUDE) SWANN, the older girlnow grown up, stares at election results on the TV, withher failed mayoral candidate ART HOLIDAY. Jude isbeautiful, ambitious, used to being the smartest one inthe room... but not a people person. With her is her
2.
operative, MARTIN, good-looking, slick, a D.C. power-player who never betrays what he's feeling, if anything.
MARTINJude. It's over.
JUDEThe polls don't close until 8.
MARTINIt's 8:45.
JUDEThank you, Martin. When I fire you,you can get a job as a clock. Thenyou can stand by my bed every dayand wake me with the sound ofsomething obvious.
MARTINI would do that.
JUDEIf you ever watch me sleep, I'llhave you arrested.
MARTINWhen that "Twilight" guy watchedthe girl sleep, it was romantic.
JUDEHe wasn't as creepy. He was just avampire.
ON THE TV
VIDEO: a MAYORAL CANDIDATE, a beautiful, happy, confidentwoman, at a speech with her loving HUSBAND and youngDAUGHTER by her side: The perfect family.
CANDIDATE...My "Helping HANDS" program willturn our schools around, if we alljust remember the five fingers:
(counts on fingers)"Hope, Access, Need, Desire, Success! HANDS!"
IN THE NEWS STUDIO is anchor BOB LONG.
BOB LONGIn Sacramento tonight, the big storyof this special election is thesurprise victory by this "outsider,"
(MORE)
3.
BOB LONG (cont'd)a PTA mom and housewife who ran asthe "Education Candidate" in thisrace for the vacant mayor's office. Becki Ramos is standing by live atCooper Campaign Headquarters.
IN A BALLROOM we see BECKI RAMOS, a serious blondereporter, with Cooper Campaign staffers behind her.
BECKI RAMOSThanks, Bob, the mood here is giddy,as supporters wait for interim MayorArt Holiday to concede the race tothis former beauty pageant queenand one-time weekend weatherreporter.
BOB LONGYes, you two started together righthere at KSCA back in the day. Nicewhen one of our own makes good, huh?
BECKI RAMOS(tight smile)
Yes. It's awesome.
INT. HOTEL SUITE - CONTINUOUS
Art Holiday stands up.
ARTI'm calling her. Where's my phone?
JUDEDid you look in your jacket?
ARTYes.
JUDEHow about your butt? Did you lookin your butt?
ARTGive me back my phone, Jude. Peopleare expecting me to concede.
JUDENo one's expecting anything of you,Art, except to jump off a bridgebecause you lost to a weather girl.
4.
ARTShe's not that bad. I kinda likeher.
JUDEEveryone likes her, Art. I likeher. It doesn't make her a mayor. She won for being prettier than you.
ARTPeople respond to her. And herschools program makes a heckuva lotof sense.
JUDEArt. Did you vote for her?
ARTNo.
JUDEArt?
ARTNo. Almost. It was close.
Beat. Suddenly Art DIVES for the desk phone. Jude grabsit, and manages to wrestle the phone away. Then herCELL PHONE RINGS. Seeing the caller, she GROANS, ANSWERS.
INTERCUT:
INT. A HOME OFFICE - SAME
HELEN SWANN, Jude's mother but youthful, elegant andfirmly in charge, talks on the phone in a private study.
HELENJudith Swann, stop this nonsenseright now and let Art concede.
JUDEMom, come on --
HELENNo. You have to accept it, sheserves the people of Sacramentonow.
JUDEIf she's serving them anything butcurly fries, something is horriblywrong.
5.
HELENJudith, enough. She is not youropponent anymore. She's your sister.
Beat. Pained, Jude looks at the TV, where FILE FOOTAGEshows Jude's sister CANDY at a campaign stop, grinningin front of a "HELPING H.A.N.D.S." sign, and holding upher open hands.
CANDY"HANDS: You can COUNT on them!"
CUT TO:
MAIN TITLES
6.
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
ON TV - FILE FOOTAGE
CLOSE on Candy Cooper in a campaign speech.
CANDYI have been a room mother, a PTApresident, and president of theEducational Foundation, because Icare about my daughter. Now, Iwant to make all of Sacramento mydaughter!
CHEERS OF THE CROWD take us to --
INT. COOPER HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
The Cooper family watches the TV on this election night:CANDY, clutching a phone; husband BUDDY, a handsome,easy-going family man and people-person; and daughterBAILEY, smart, turning out more like Jude than Candy.
BAILEYDoes that make Sacramento my sister?
CANDYI don't even know why Art has toconcede. When I won Miss Sacramento,no one had to concede, they justgave me my crown --
(at TV)-- BECAUSE I WON!
BAILEYIf we watched the results from asuite at the hotel, we'd be rightthere for your victory party.
BUDDYWe're not hotel suite people. Yourmom got elected because she relatesto the lives of regular people.
BAILEYPlus she doesn't trust you with theminibar.
BUDDYTen dollar cashews. Should be acrime. When you start making laws,hon, I hope that's the first one.
7.
Candy takes Buddy's and Bailey's hands in hers.
CANDYHey, guys? This might be our lastquiet moment for awhile, so I wantto say thank you. We did this as asa family, and this will not take meaway from you. Bailey, I'll workfrom home a lot, I'll still be atyour volleyball games, parents' night,chaperone Youth Group... you won'tbe neglected at all.
BAILEY(beat; disappointed)
Really?
CANDYYep. Sorry.
BUDDY(off TV)
Look, they're showing your partyagain.
CANDYOkay, no need for us all to be late,you guys go and I'll meet you there.
BUDDYNo. Like you said, we won together,we stay together. As a family.
BAILEY(off TV)
Dad? Is that a chocolate fountain?
BUDDY(long beat)
Yes, Bailey. Yes, it is.
CANDY(smiles)
Go. It's fine, really. I'll bealong just as soon as my sister
(at TV)stops being SUCH A BABY!!!
INT. HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT
Jude is pacing, yelling at Candy on the TV.
8.
JUDEEducation candidate? It's like alegless man calling himself theJogging Candidate. You'd still bein 11th grade if I hadn't taken yourAmerican History final for you.
(looking around)Where's Art?
MARTINBathroom.
JUDEThere's a phone in there.
As Jude bolts for the bathroom door --
INT. COOPER HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT
Candy cleans the spotless kitchen, keeping busy. Thephone RINGS. Candy pointedly ignores it, as Helen enters.
HELENCandy? Answer it, that's your call.
CANDY(aloof)
So? Now I don't want to talk.
HELENOh, for --
(answers phone)Hold please.
CANDYNot until she apologizes.
INT. BALLROOM - NIGHT (ON TV)
BECKI RAMOSBob, people here wonder why Holidayhas not conceded, but often at thispoint the candidates are engaged inhigh-level policy negotiations.
INT. COOPER HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT
CANDYShe was mean about my hair on TV.
HELEN(into phone)
Did you hear that, Art?
INTERCUT:
9.
INT. HOTEL SUITE - CONTINUOUS
Outside the bathroom, Jude POUNDS on the door. She stopswhen Art opens the door and leans out with the phone.
ARTYou have to apologize about herhair.
CANDY(calls toward phone)
It's a perfectly cute style forthis coast, we don't all live inWashington, D.C.!
ART(to Jude)
She says it's a perfectly cute --oh for god's sake, here.
Art shoves the phone into Jude's hand. Jude looks atit, bangs her fist against her head... then SIGHS.
JUDE(into phone)
Hello?
Helen shoves the phone at Candy, who takes it, casually.
CANDYYes...?
JUDE(mumbles)
'msorryaboutwhatIsaid.
CANDY(starts to hand phoneto Helen)
She doesn't mean it.
JUDEOkay, yes! I'm sorry.
CANDYYou know I have a cowlick, myhairstyle options are limited.
JUDEI know. I'm sorry. I really am.
CANDYOkay.
(beat)So how are you doing?
10.
JUDE(shrugs)
Eh. Don't worry about me. Go toyour party. And congratulations.
CANDY(beat)
Congratulations...(silence)
Congratulations...?
JUDE(sighs)
Mrs. Mayor.
Candy SQUEALS with delight; Jude hangs her head.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. HOTEL SUITE - NEXT MORNING
There's a KNOCK on the door. Jude stumbles to the doorand opens it to Helen. Helen reacts: Jude is a wreck,still in last night's clothes. Jude turns away, dully.
JUDEHello, Mother. Want some breakfast?
She heads back into the room and we reveal: THE ROOM ISA MESS, the mini-bar wide open, contents strewn around.
JUDE (cont'd)There may be a Milk Dud under thechair.
HELENOh, my. It looks like a bear gotin.
JUDEObviously not. If a bear had gottenin, I would've eaten it.
HELENSweetheart... are you alright?
JUDENo. I drank a hundred dollars worthof mini-bar booze, and I couldn'teven get a buzz on.
HELENOh, those things hold barely a sip. It's like polishing off what's leftin everyone else's glasses.
11.
JUDEAre you in the habit of --
HELENNot a habit. It's happened.
Jude curls up on the couch, looking like a little girlneeding her mommy. Helen sits, holds her.
JUDEOh, Mom...
HELENI know, sweetheart...
JUDEShe came out of nowhere. So lateand unexpected it was like riding aunicorn into battle -- everyone wasso dazzled and shocked, they forgotto shoot.
HELENIt'll be okay, you'll bounce back.
JUDENo. They're gone. All of them.
HELENAll of what?
JUDEMy clients.
(finds empty box)And the Raisinets. I'm not happyabout that.
(tosses box)My clients all left, Mom. EvenMartin left, he quit to take anotherjob. Martin.
Jude looks as lost and low as Helen's ever seen her.
JUDE (cont'd)Why would Candy do this to me? Politics is my thing -- you don'tsee me with a sudden passion forholiday crafts.
Helen pats Jude's head. Beat. Then she CHUCKLES.
JUDE (cont'd)What?
12.
HELENWell, it's true, isn't it? Thepoor thing can't run a city, shecan barely set her car's radiobuttons.
JUDE(grins)
Oh my god... remember when she triedto play Sim City on my computer?
COMPUTER SCREEN - FLASHBACK
A computer-generated city is completely in flames.
BACK TO SCENE:
JUDEI can still hear the screams oftiny Sim-people in my sleep.
HELENIt's a shame, really -- your sisterhas great passion and a feel forpeople, but no idea of how thingsget done. ...And here you are,apparently with time on your hands...
JUDEYeah... What? Whoa.
HELENWell, think about it -- you alwaysget people elected and then justmove on. Wouldn't you like to stickaround and be a part of things? With your brains and her likability,you two could really do something.
JUDEYou don't think I'm likable?
HELENI do, but in the court of publicopinion you wouldn't want it to goto a jury.
JUDE(wheels turning)
I'd run things. I'd be the shadowMayor. She'd be my puppet.
HELENWell, I don't know about puppet...
13.
JUDEYeah, at best, she'd be one of thosescary ventriloquist dummies thatcomes to life and kills its owner.
HELEN(takes Jude's hand)
You have so much in the world,Judith. Respect, education,intelligence... you can afford tobe generous and help your sisterout. She needs you.
We see this really land with Jude: her sister needs her.
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. COOPER HOUSE - CANDY'S HOME OFFICE - DAY
CLOSE on Candy.
CANDYShe needs me?
REVEAL Helen, having an identical conversation with Candy.
HELENYou should have seen the poor thing,wallowing in bottles and wrapperslike something rolling around onthe floor of your car. Work is allshe has, poor thing... while you,you have so much in the world -- aloving family, popularity, power...you can afford to be generous, andhelp your sister out.
We see this also really touch Candy. Then --
BAILEY (O.S.)Aunt Jude, hi...!
INT. COOPER HOUSE - KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
Bailey's hugging her aunt Jude, as Candy and Helen enter.
BAILEYI am so sorry for your loss. Today'selectorate sadly values style andbeauty over substance and experience.
CANDYYeah, a lot of it also valuescorporal punishment for kids. Getready for school, Stinker.
14.
Bailey exits. Then Jude notices another young womanthere, working at the center island. This is NATALEE,young, gorgeous, sincere, enthusiastic, free-spirited.
HELENOh -- Judith, this is Natalee,Candy's Campaign Advisor.
JUDEYes, I saw you at the candidate forum. Nice win. Are you with a local firm?
NATALEEI have my own shop.
JUDEMust be why we've never met before. Who have you represented?
NATALEEOh, all the biggies: Paul Mitchell,Sebastian... I'm thinking of bringingin Frederic Fekkai.
JUDE(beat)
You're a hairdresser.
NATALEEStylist.
JUDEI lost to a hairdresser and ahousewife. Oh my god, I was thebad guy in a movie about a spunkycoupla can-do misfits.
CANDYNatalee's been doing my hair foryears. She always gives me greatadvice, and I realized -- all daylong people sit in her chair andopen up about their lives, whatthey want and care about...
NATALEEIt's true, I have my finger righton the pulse of the people.
JUDE(forced big smile)
Well... bet you couldn't find oneon me right now!
They all LAUGH, but only Jude knows she isn't kidding.
15.
NATALEE(to Candy)
Okay, hon, I'm gonna go sage youroffice and get things set up. 'Byenow!
She gives a finger-wave and exits. Helen pokes Jude,nods her head toward Candy -- get on with it. Jude turnsto Candy. They look at each other with the intense,heartfelt, generous sympathy of the truly benevolent.
CANDYSo.
(takes Jude's hands)You're here.
JUDE(like a saint)
I am.
CANDY(hand on heart)
And hey --
JUDEPlease. We're family.
CANDYI know, right?
Pause. Silence, each waiting for the other. Helen jumpsin to seal this deal:
HELENOkay then it's settled!
Buddy comes in.
BUDDYWhat is?
HELENShe just agreed to help her sisterout!
Both girls shrug modestly, "it's no big deal..."
BUDDYAwesome! Welcome to Team Candy.
Buddy tosses Jude a t-shirt with Candy's face on it.
16.
HELENI'm going to bring in the papersand we can all bask in Candy'sheadlines.
Helen exits. Jude is studying the t-shirt.
BUDDYDesigned those myself: "Count onCandy, Count on America." The firstones just had her face and said,"You Count!" But some jokers blackedout the "O" in "Count," and well...
JUDEYou supplied these from your company?
CANDYIt was such a help, he saved mycampaign a fortune.
JUDECan you read me this label, Buddy? The one behind the word "America"?
BUDDY(squints at label)
"Made in Viet... Viet..." Man, myeyes are getting bad.
JUDEVietnam! Made in Vietnam! Yououtsourced her campaign materials.
CANDYMore savings.
BUDDYKa-ching!
JUDEYes, that might have been the nameof the child who made this. Itcould have cost Candy the electionif anyone had noticed this earlier.
Pause.
CANDYYou're wishing you had, aren't you?
JUDELittle bit. Sorry. But if I noticedit, the press will be on it soon,and they will come after you.
17.
CANDY(laughs)
Oh, trust me, I can handle a fewhard-nosed reporters. I was one.
JUDEYou reported the weather.
CANDYAnd I was uncompromising.
JUDEBuddy, round up every leftovercampaign shirt. I'll make this goaway somehow.
Buddy exits.
CANDYWow. It feels so good, after thecampaign, to know my sister has myback.
Jude smiles; surprisingly, she likes it, too. Then Helenenters, with the morning paper open.
HELENWell, you certainly made theheadline.
CANDYOoh, is there a picture, how do Ilook?
HELEN(reading)
"Historic Problem: New Mayor NeverTook Eleventh Grade Test."
She shows the headline -- everyone stares at Jude, whois horrified at what she's done. Beat.
JUDE(off paper, weakly)
Cute hair, though...
As Jude feels awful, and Candy stares daggers...
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT ONE
18.
ACT TWO
FADE IN:
INT. COOPER HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY
As before, Candy glaring at Jude, who's really bothered.
HELENJudith, why would you tell the world that about your sister?
JUDEI didn't. It was Martin, he musthave leaked it as a last-ditch play.
CANDYWow, Martin made a wild guess thatyou'd taken my History test for me? Because he may be a witch.
JUDENo, it just popped out, I'm sorry.
HELENHow does that just "pop out?"
JUDEI don't know, I really don't.
CANDYI do. You want me to fail.
JUDENot at all.
CANDYYou want to bring me down.
JUDENot true.
CANDYYou don't think I'll be a good mayor.
JUDE(beat)
Let's quit while we're ahead.
CANDYSee? Oh my god, you are so jealous --
JUDEJealous? Why would I be jealous?
19.
CANDYBecause people like me, I won, andyou have to call me Your Honor.
JUDEI don't, actually.
CANDYYou do so or I can throw you in jail.
JUDEOkay, have you even Googled theword "Mayor?"
CANDYI am the education candidate --don't you find it weird you saidthe one thing that would make melook stupid?
JUDENo, I find it weird you think there'sonly one.
HELENJudith, is that helpful?
JUDEWell, what about all the things Ididn't tell? Spring Break in Cabo? The game show disaster? I ran Art'scampaign with one hand tied behindmy back for you and it cost me mycareer, where's the thanks for that?
CANDYYou want me to thank you?
JUDEWell... not at this moment, no. Wecan put a pin in that.
HELENI just don't know why that incidentcame to mind after all these years.
JUDEThat's a very good question.
CANDYYes, it is.
JUDEI just said it was. Maybe... maybebecause that's how we got here.
20.
CANDYGot where?
JUDEIf I hadn't cheated for you, you'dbe better off. But I let you skipa step. Like always. Let you skipthrough life with nothing but asmile and a flip of your hair andeverything coming too easily.
CANDYYou think things come easy to me?
JUDEWell, what do you think, Mrs. Mayor? You didn't really finish eleventhgrade, never finished college, andyou win as the education candidate?
Candy's daughter Bailey has entered, unseen.
BAILEYYou didn't finish eleventh grade?
JUDE(beat)
Uh, oh.
HELENYou didn't finish college?
JUDEOh, jeez.
CANDY(to Jude)
Okay if I hold off on your thankyou for a bit?
JUDEBailey was going to find out todayanyway, it's in all the newspapers.
CANDYShe's a teenager, she can't evenoperate a newspaper.
(to Bailey)Honey, let's go, we can talk aboutit in the car.
BAILEYMm, that's okay. School suddenlydoesn't seem that big a deal.
21.
Bailey's enjoying her upper hand. Candy turns to Jude:
CANDYAnd now you've destroyed my family.
HELEN(to Candy)
What do you mean you didn't finishcollege? I saw you graduate.
JUDENo, I intentionally made us late tothe graduation so you missed Candy'sname not being called.
(to Candy)You're welcome.
CANDYSeriously?
(to Bailey)Just get in the car, okay? Nothing'schanged, you need to go to schoolso you get into college and makesomething of yourself.
She didn't see Buddy re-enter with a box of t-shirts.
BUDDYI didn't go to college.
CANDYOh for god's sake...
BUDDYI made something of myself, I havemy own business.
BAILEYAnd you didn't finish college, Mom,and you're the Mayor.
CANDYYes I am, and Sacramento can't haveits mayor's daughter skipping school!
BAILEYSacramento will understand. We'relike sisters.
CANDYGET in the CAR!
(to Jude)Oh my god, is there anything elseyou want to destroy before you go?
22.
JUDENo. I'm not going anywhere, I'llfix this, I promise -- I feel bad.
CANDYYeah, well, you should.
JUDEI just said I did.
Candy exits with Bailey. Off Jude, guilty and upset.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. MAYOR'S OFFICE - BULLPEN - DAY
Moving guys are coming and going as Jude enters. Shesees Natalee, waving burning sage around the office.
JUDENatalee, hi. Good news, Candy wantsyou to head up the transition team.
NATALEEOoh, exciting!
JUDEAnd the first transition is me intoyour job.
NATALEEWhat?
JUDEOkay, that's done. Don't be sad --do you know how I got where I am?
NATALEEYes, you took my job.
JUDEI listened, and I observed. That'swhy I want you out on the frontlines, to see every face that comesin, hear every voice that calls.
NATALEEYou want me to be the receptionist.
JUDEAnd to get me coffee, please, it'sgoing to be a long day.
Jude goes into --
23.
INT. JUDE'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Jude enters, and stops when she SEES A GUY at her desk:Martin, her ex-associate. He sees her and FREEZES --actually holds real still, as if trying to avoiddetection.
JUDEI can see you, Martin.
MARTINJude. Hi.
(beat)Awkward.
JUDEThis is the job you left me for? Ican't believe you, you went to theother side.
MARTINWell, so did you.
JUDEYeah, and I'm not real happy withme, either. Frankly, I'm disappointedin both of us.
MARTINI needed a job. I have studentloans. And some Cartier earringssomeone refused to accept and Ican't return.
JUDE(holds up newspaper)
Does Candy know she hired the guywho did this?
MARTINShe didn't hire me, Mr. Charlesdid. Remember we wondered who wasputting all that money behind hercampaign?
JUDEWait. Nathan Charles? The developer?
MARTINAnd the guy you slept with allthrough the Pennsylvania primary.
NATHAN (O.S.)Don't forget Wisconsin.
24.
And NATHAN CHARLES is in the doorway -- a good-looking,charming, single, very successful businessman.
MARTINThe Badger State.
Nathan smiles, goes back to THE BULLPEN. Jude follows.
INT. MAYOR'S OFFICE - BULLPEN - CONTINUOUS
NATHANHello, Judith.
JUDELong time.
NATHANSorry about Pennsylvania.
JUDE(shrug)
I just backed the wrong horse.
NATHANI'm not talking about the election.
JUDENeither am I.
Tight little smile. Some difficult history here.
NATHANYou still think about me?
JUDEYes, Nathan, I do. AfterPennsylvania, I got a dog namedNathan, and had a series ofboyfriends named Nathan, then I hada baby with one and named him Nathan,who grew up and I married him andwe had a baby named Nathan.
NATHAN(beat)
I'm starting to recall why we didn'twork out.
JUDEAnd I'm starting to see why you usedyour money to put an inexperienced,longshot mayor in office. You wantto bring a football team toSacramento.
25.
NATHANFootball...? No, I brought mynephew's scout troop to the redwoodsonce, but...
JUDECut the crap, I know your act. Youneed this city's machine behindyou, so you picked a mayor naiveenough to grease the gears. Exceptnow I'm here to protect her fromyou.
NATHANAnd who will protect her from you?
He holds up the newspaper, with it's damning headline.
JUDEA rough start, yes. I'll need youto use your legendary charm to getthe press to back off, or this danceis over before the music's evenstarted.
NATHANAnd in return, all I need you to dois take full responsibility andresign.
JUDEOr... and I'm just now forming thisidea, so bear with me... kiss myass.
NATHANI remember a similar request inMaine.
MARTIN (O.S.)The Pine Tree State!
Then Candy enters, sees Nathan, goes all poor-helpless-girl.
CANDYOh, Nathan! It's only my firstday, and already they're picking onme!
NATHANI heard, it's awful. What can I do?
CANDYNothing... just be a friend.
26.
She bites her lower lip and "absently" PUTS A HAND ONNATHAN'S ARM; Jude sees this and ROLLS HER EYES.
NATHANI do have some pull with the media. Maybe I can persuade them to goeasy.
JUDEWhat? No, that was my i--
CANDYOh! Nathan, you're an angel. Youare, you're my heaven-sent angel.
Nathan gives Candy a peck on the forehead, and exits, asCandy exits into the mayor's office. Jude sees Nataleewatching.
JUDE(to Natalee)
That's not.... never do that. Flirting will not get you ahead.
CANDY (O.S.)The big office is mine, right?
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. MAYOR'S OFFICE - JUDE'S OFFICE - LATER
Jude is gathering Martin and Natalee for a strategymeeting. She comes around the front of her desk, andsits on it.
JUDEOkay, some fires to put out beforetomorrow's press conference --
Natalee sits on the front of the desk, too. Beat.
JUDE (cont'd)Natalee. This is a one-chair salon.
Natalee frowns a teeny bit, but sits with Martin.
JUDE (cont'd)First, did we find out who at Buddy'scompany actually ordered the t-shirtsfrom Vietnam?
MARTINHis plant manager, Hector Gallardo.
27.
JUDEGreat. Buddy knew nothing aboutthe shirts, and when he found out,he fired Hector. Done.
NATALEEOh, no, Buddy won't fire Hector.
JUDEWhat if we got Hector another job?
NATALEECan we? Yay, it used to be so hardfor illegal immigrants to find work.
Beat. Jude SIGHS.
JUDEWe'll circle back to that. Next:how to make this History test thinggo away.
NATALEE(hand up)
Ooh! Have the Mayor pass the sametest now, to prove she can.
JUDEHm. Okay, that's not bad...
NATALEEYeah, like this one time in my shop --
JUDENatalee -- is this a hair story?
NATALEEIt takes more of a human interestturn.
JUDEBut mostly hair?
NATALEE(admitting)
A lot of hair, yeah.
JUDESo why don't we table it for now?
MARTINShe does bring up a good point.
JUDEHow? She didn't speak.
28.
MARTINIn a short campaign like this, theMayor could talk about what sheknows. Tomorrow, the press willfocus on what she doesn't know.
JUDE(realizing in horror)
My god. We'll be there for days.
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. COOPER HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY
Jude is holding a tiny earbud device for Candy; Helenwatches.
JUDEIt's an earbud. You put it in yourear, and I stand backstage duringthe conference and feed you theanswers.
CANDYNo, that's not going to work.
HELENIt will. If anyone tries to tripyou up, just say exactly what Judithsays.
CANDYI mean I have large ear canals. What if it gets too deep and endsup in my brain?
JUDEThen we'll have to explain therattling sound when you nod.
CANDYHa, ha. It's okay, Nathan promisedme the press won't ask hard questions.
JUDEThe mainstream media, maybe, butwe're in a world of bloggers, now --pasty creatures living in their moms'basements like albino cave spidersand angry there's no more HarryPotter. And I'm sorry, Candy, butthis has gone viral.
She opens her laptop for Candy. Candy's eyes widen.
29.
CANDY(in horror)
The game show!
ON COMPUTER - "WHEEL OF FORTUNE" VIDEO (CIRCA 2000)
YOUNGER CANDY is a contestant. The clue is "a famousphrase."
YOUNGER CANDYPat, I'd like to solve the puzzle.
VANNA WHITE is at the big board, where the puzzle reads,"THE BR_T_SH ARE _OM_ _ _! THE BR_T_SH ARE _OM_ _ _!"
YOUNGER CANDY (cont'd)(with confidence)
"The British are homely, the Britishare homely."
From the audience, GASPS and LAUGHTER. Beat.
YOUNGER CANDY (cont'd)(defensive)
Well, they are.
BACK TO SCENE
CANDY(getting it)
Oh my god...
HELENThey'll come after you, Sweetheart. Please just wear the earbud and letJudith answer the questions.
CANDYIn other words, cheat.
JUDENo, I want to help.
CANDYHelp me cheat. Again. Is thatyour only move?
JUDENo. Yes. Maybe it is. But it gotus here, let it get us out.
CANDYNo. You were right, I've gottenthis far on my charms alone, I wantto speak for myself.
30.
HELENBut you don't have anything to say!
Shocked silence.
CANDYExcuse me?
HELEN(trying to fix it)
But you say it so beautifully...
JUDEI know what Mom means. I watchedyour speeches during this campaign,watched people hanging on your everyword. Even when most of the wordswere pronounced wrong. Or not evenwords. I've always envied how youconnect to people, because theyknow you believe whatever it isyou're saying.
(beat)Me... I can't remember the lasttime I said anything I believed.
CANDY(pause; touched)
You envy me? Really?
HELENOf course she does, and I'm sureyou envy things about her, if youjust let yourself admit it.
CANDYYou're right, I do. Like...
(long beat)I'm sorry, I'm drawing a blank.
JUDEI'm smart, okay? Try that.
CANDY(defensive)
I'm smart, too. There are manykinds of smart.
JUDEYes, but none of them involve notknowing anything.
HELENJudith, let me handle this.
31.
CANDYSmart is not just spitting out factslike it's the only measure ofintelligence. People don't wantfacts, they want truth!
(ramping up passionately)Do you think facts kept the FoundingFathers warm through that long winterat Gettysburg, or facts helped Lewisand Clark defeat the Indians at theAlamo? It wasn't facts, but theAmerican flag, that Charles Lindberghcarried with him as he sailed intoBoston Harbor and told Francis ScottKey to not fire until he saw thewhites of their eyes, and it wasn'tfacts, but courage, that allowed ayoung boy named Huckleberry Finn tomake it up the Mississippi River tofreedom!
Pause.
CANDY (cont'd)(hopeful)
Anything?
JUDENope.
HELENNot a one.
CANDYFine, gimme the ear-thingy.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT TWO
32.
ACT THREE
FADE IN:
INT. PRESS ROOM - MORNING
Candy is giving her first press conference to gatheredmedia.
CANDYBefore we go on, let me first thankour former Mayor Cartwright for histime. He pledged to serve fouryears, and with good behavior, itshould work out to just about that.
INT. BACKSTAGE - CONTINUOUS
Jude watches a monitor, wearing a headset. Martin isnearby. Nathan approaches.
NATHANJudith. It's going well, I think.
JUDEYes. There is one more wrinkle youcan help iron. Seems Candy's husbandhired an illegal immigrant to runhis company.
NATHANTwo scandals on Day One? Wow. Sounds like she may need a changeof advisors.
Beat. Then Jude tries a new tactic: flirting. She LAUGHSat his joke, in a stilted try at light and lilting.
JUDEYou're so funny. And I'm such aninny.
(flips her hair,awkwardly)
I just wish I had your gift withpeople.
She reaches out to touch his arm, but it comes off lesslike flirting and more like trying to snatch his watch.
NATHANWhat are you --
JUDE(embarrassed)
Nothing. Get out.
33.
Nathan grins and exits, and we see Helen has arrived.
HELENI'm truly sorry I had to see that.
INTERCUT:
INT. PRESS ROOM - CONTINUOUS
A REPORTER stands.
REPORTERMayor Cooper, congratulations onbeing elected to serve our city.
CANDYThank you very much.
REPORTERDo you happen to know when it wasfounded?
Jude is ready for the "gotcha" questions.
JUDE(into mic)
1849.
CANDY1849. Which I know from knowingit.
JUDE(into mic)
And because it's on your podium.
Candy leans over, sees the podium: the city seal says"1849."
CANDYTa-da...
Backstage, Helen gives Jude a thumbs-up. In the pressroom, a pudgy BLOGGER stands up, holding a Candy Coopert-shirt.
BLOGGERMrs. Mayor, your husband's companymade the t-shirts for your campaign,right?
JUDE(into mic)
Yes, but there's a firewall.
34.
CANDYYes, but there was a fireball.
JUDE(into mic)
Firewall, between me and his factory.
CANDYThere was a fire in the factory. In the walls. But everyone's okay.
BLOGGERDid you approve buying the shirts?
CANDY(big smile)
Goodness. The last time a crowdwas this interested in my t-shirt,I was getting water sprayed on it.
The reporters LAUGH.
CANDY (cont'd)I won that contest too, by the way!
More LAUGHTER. Backstage, Jude ROLLS HER EYES and SIGHSwearily. The t-shirt blogger does not back down:
BLOGGERMayor Cooper, do you know wherethis shirt from your campaign wasmade?
JUDE(into mic, firmly)
No.
CANDYYes, I do. Give it here.
JUDE(into mic)
Fine, I'm nothing, I don't exist.
The blogger tosses Candy the shirt, and she starts readinglabels, speaking off-the-cuff and with growing passion.
CANDYThe cotton was grown in Egypt. Thedyeing was done in Pakistan, thetags are from China and the stitchingwas done in Vietnam. Where was itmade? Where were you made? Wherewas I made?
35.
HELEN(aside to Jude)
The Astro Drive-in, during "Smokeyand the Bandit."
CANDYThe same place this country was made:out of threads from all over theworld! Was this shirt made inAmerica? No -- this shirt IS America!
The reporters scramble to write this down, impressed. Jude is also impressed: wow, she's good. The Bloggerpresses:
BLOGGERThen why did your husband hire anillegal immigrant to run his company?
The other reporters stop, all ears.
CANDYHector? Well... um...
JUDE(saving her; into mic)
His daughter.
CANDYHis daughter. Something about hisdaughter.
JUDE(into mic)
To give her a better life.
CANDYTo give Hector's beautiful youngdaughter a better life. Because myhusband is a father, and he wantedto share the American dream withanother father, one who came tothis country to make a better lifefor his little girl. If Hectorcan't work, where will that littlegirl be? Not in school like she isright now, making all A's, butworking in a disgusting, horriblesweatshop somewhere, making t-shirtsjust like this one!
She angrily balls the shirt up like it's something foul. A SECOND BLOGGER stands, a serious young woman.
36.
SECOND BLOGGERSo as the "education candidate,"how would you explain to Hector'sbeautiful young daughter that youcheated your way out of 11th grade?
HELEN(worried)
Here we go...
JUDE(quickly, into mic)
"I think the people of this cityare more interested in their futurethan in my past."
CANDY(beat)
I would say I'm sorry.
JUDE(into mic)
Hello, is this thing on?
CANDYI would say I cheated myself. And Ihold myself accountable. You allknow that I ran for mayor because ofmy daughter, Bailey. To make sureshe had the kind of education thatwould serve her in life -- that wouldteach her the value of learning.
She speaks directly at her camera, directly to Jude.
CANDY (cont'd)Because Bailey doesn't have a bigsister, like I did. One who caredenough to help me.
Jude reacts, surprised and touched. Candy ramps up:
CANDY (cont'd)And now we all need to care. Weneed to be big sisters to each other'sdaughters. Fathers can be sistersto their sons. Let's all follow thelead of my husband in being sistersto all the Hector's daughters ofSacramento, to hold each otheraccountable, for improving ourschools, caring for our children,and for making AMERICA the greatestcountry in the whole world! Can wemake it happen?
37.
She holds up the shirt, with her face and "Count onCandy."
CANDY (cont'd)Count on it!
Cameras FLASH, there's even some APPLAUSE, and Candybasks in it with her big, winning smile, and gives alittle pageant wave.
INT. BACKSTAGE - CONTINUOUS
Helen is teary; Jude is touched, and kind of amazed.
JUDEWow.
HELENI know. Judith... your head... herheart... the two of you can dosomething genuine, here, somethingreal.
JUDEI agree, Mom.
Helen gives Jude a kiss, and exits. Jude turns to Martin.
JUDE (cont'd)Now go find Hector a daughter.
Martin nods, and as Jude exits after Helen...
FADE OUT.
END OF SHOW
