The Social Tasks of Friendship Steven R. Asher Duke University Pittsburgh Mind-Body Center Visiting Scholars Program: The Nature of Social Relationships June 12-13, 2007
Transcript
Slide 1
The Social Tasks of Friendship Steven R. Asher Duke University
Pittsburgh Mind-Body Center Visiting Scholars Program: The Nature
of Social Relationships June 12-13, 2007
Slide 2
Collaborators Current Doctoral Students Vito Guerra Julie
Paquette MacEvoy Kristina McDonald Former Doctoral Students and
Post Docs Jude Cassidy Sonda Gabriel Andrea Hopmeyer Gorman Shelley
Hymel Sherri Oden Jeffrey Parker Jennifer Parkhurst Peter Renshaw
Amanda Rose Valerie Wheeler
Slide 3
Overview The Challenges of Social Life Conceptualizing and
Measuring Peer Adjustment What is Life Like for Children Who Have
Peer Adjustment Problems? Can Social Relationship Skills Training
Make a Difference? The Social Tasks of Friendship The Role of Goals
in Social Competence
Slide 4
The Challenges of Social Life
Slide 5
An Incomplete List of Social Tasks Entering a Group Generating
Fun Ideas Ambiguous Provocation Sharing Resources/Belongings
Managing Conflict Making Requests Negotiating Rules Responding to
Requests Maintaining Interactions Retrieving Belongings Listening
Dealing with Loss Communicating Contingently Self-Disclosure
Terminating Interaction Eliciting Disclosure Coping with Rejection
Apologizing Coping with Public Failure Expressing Appreciation
Slide 6
An Incomplete List of Social Tasks (cont.) Coping with Public
Success Keeping Secrets Sticking up for a Friend Forgiving Asking
for Help Refusing to Dare Helping Defending Self Comforting
Avoiding Danger Coping with Teasing Getting Picked for
Teams/Activities Expressing Affection Coping with False Accusations
Anger Management Getting Even Complimenting Achieving
Equity/Fairness Persuading Resisting Distraction by Others
Slide 7
Slide 8
The Core Questions of Relationships Is this person fun to be
with? Is this person easy to get along with? Is this person
trustworthy? Do we influence each other in ways I like? Does this
person facilitate and not undermine my goals? Does this person make
me feel good about myself? Is this person similar to me? Do I
respect/admire this person?
Slide 9
Social Life as a Goal Coordination Task What makes social life
so challenging is that multiple goals have to be pursued and
coordinated, simultaneously. (See Dodge, Asher, & Parkhurst,
1989, for a discussion)
Slide 10
Conceptualizing and Measuring Peer Adjustment Peer Acceptance
Friendship Friendship Quality
Slide 11
Peer Acceptance Peer Acceptance refers to how much other
members of a group like a particular person and want to spend time
with him or her
Slide 12
Measuring Peer Acceptance: A Rating-Scale Sociometric Measure
How much do you like to play with this person at school? I dont I
like to Examples like to a lot Louise Blue 1 2 3 4 5 Russell Grey 1
2 3 4 5 John Armon 1 2 3 4 5 Andrea Brandt 1 2 3 4 5 Sue Curtis 1 2
3 4 5 Sandra Drexel 1 2 3 4 5 Jeff Ellis 1 2 3 4 5 Bill Fox 1 2 3 4
5 Diane Higgins 1 2 3 4 5 Harry Jones 1 2 3 4 5 Jill Lamb 1 2 3 4 5
Steve Murray 1 2 3 4 5
Slide 13
Measuring Peer Acceptance: Nomination Sociometric Measures Who
are the three people you like the most in this class? John Armon
Andrea Brandt Sue Curtis Sandra Drexel Jeff Ellis Bill Fox Diane
Higgins Harry Jones Jill Lamb Steve Murray Jo Anne Norman Pam
Riley
Slide 14
Who are the three people you like the least in this class? John
Armon Andrea Brandt Sue Curtis Sandra Drexel Jeff Ellis Bill Fox
Diane Higgins Harry Jones Jill Lamb Steve Murray Jo Anne Norman Pam
Riley
Slide 15
Sociometric Classification Based on Like-Most and Like-Least
Nominations Like-Most Like-Least Nominations Nominations Popular
HighLow Rejected LowHigh Neglected LowLow Controversial HighHigh
Average AverageAverage
Slide 16
Core Question 1: Is this child fun to be with?
AcceptanceRejection good sense of humordisruptive
resourceful/skillfulbossy/domineering participatory/readilylow
cognitive skills involvedwithdrawn/apprehensive
Slide 17
Core Question 2: Is this child easy to get along with?
AcceptanceRejection cooperativebossy/domineering/stubborn
open-mindednon-responsive
responsive/availableprickly/defensive/touchy/needy
Slide 18
Core Question 3: Is this child trustworthy? AcceptanceRejection
reliableaggressive/mean honestdishonest loyalbetrays
confidences
Slide 19
Core Question 4: Do we influence each other in ways I like?
AcceptanceRejection cooperativeaggression/mean
respectfulbossy/domineering considerateresistant/stubborn
Slide 20
Core Question 5: Does this child facilitate and not undermine
my goals? AcceptanceRejection cooperativecompetitive
helpfulindifferent resourcefulinterfering
Slide 21
Core Question 6: Does this child make me feel good about
myself? AcceptanceRejection supportive/kindinsulting/demeaning
responsivenon-responsive likes medislikes me
Slide 22
Core Question 7: Is this child similar to me?
AcceptanceRejection common values and interestsdifferent values and
interests respect for peer conventionsnonconformity to peer
conventions similar demographicssuperior manner handicapped
Slide 23
Core Question 8: Do I respect/admire this person?
AcceptanceRejection honesty/integrityviolates moral standards
defends selfeasy to push around competentnot competent
Slide 24
Friendship Friendship is a dyadic relationship with certain
properties such as mutual attachment, commitment, and special
concern for one anothers welfare.
Slide 25
Measuring Friendship: Nomination Measures Who are your best
three friends in this class? John Armon Andrea Brandt Sue Curtis
Sandra Drexel Jeff Ellis Bill Fox Diane Higgins Harry Jones Jill
Lamb Steve Murray Jo Anne Norman Pam Riley
Slide 26
Decisions About Friendship Nomination Measures Limited versus
Unlimited Nominations Unilateral versus Reciprocal Choices
Slide 27
Friendship Quality Friendship Quality refers to the specific
features of a friendship such as the extent to which it provides
companionship and recreation, help and guidance, emotional support,
and shared intimacy. Friendship qualities also include how much
conflict exists in the friendship and how easily conflict gets
resolved.
Slide 28
Friendship Qualities Companionship and Recreation Validation
and Caring Help and Guidance Intimate Exchange Conflict and
Betrayal Conflict Resolution
Slide 29
Friendship Quality Questionnaire-Revised (Parker & Asher,
1993) Think about your friendship with Jamie. 1.Jamie and I live
really close to each other. Not at all true A little true Somewhat
true Pretty true Really true 0.12..3...4 2.Jamie and I always sit
together at lunch. Not at all true A little true Somewhat true
Pretty true Really true 0.12..3...4 3.Jamie and I get mad at each
other a lot. Not at all true A little true Somewhat true Pretty
true Really true 0.12..3...4 4.Jamie tells me Im good at things.
Not at all true A little true Somewhat true Pretty true Really true
0.12..3... 4
Slide 30
Companionship and Recreation Definition: The extent to which
the friends spend enjoyable time together inside or outside of
school. Sample items: Jamie and I always sit together at lunch.
Jamie and I do fun things together a lot. Jamie and I go to each
others house after school and on weekends. Reliability: Alpha
=.75
Slide 31
Validation and Caring Definition: The degree to which the
relationship is characterized by caring, support, and interest.
Sample items: Jamie tells me Im good at things. Jamie makes me feel
good about my ideas. Jamie and I make each other feel special and
important. Reliability: Alpha =.90
Slide 32
Help and Guidance Definition: The extent of the friends efforts
to assist one another with routine or challenging tasks. Sample
items: Jamie often helps me with things so I can get done quicker.
Jamie and I help each other with schoolwork a lot. When Im having
trouble figuring out something, I usually ask Jamie for help and
advice. Reliability: Alpha =.90
Slide 33
Conflict and Betrayal Definition: The extent to which the
relationship is characterized by disagreement, annoyance, and
betrayal. Sample items: Jamie and I argue a lot. Jamie and I get
mad at each other a lot. I can think of some times when Jamie has
said mean things about me to other kids. Reliability: Alpha
=.84
Slide 34
Intimate Exchange Definition: The extent to which the
relationship is characterized by disclosure of personal information
and feelings. Sample items: Jamie and I are always telling each
other about our problems. Jamie and I talk about the things that
make us sad. When Im mad about something that happened to me, I can
always talk to Jamie about it. Reliability: Alpha =.86
Slide 35
Conflict Resolution Definition: The degree to which
disagreements in the relationship are resolved efficiently and
fairly. Sample items: Jamie and I always make up easily when we
have a fight. Jamie and I always get over our arguments really
quickly. If Jamie and I get mad at each other, we always talk about
how to get over it. Reliability: Alpha =.73
Slide 36
What is Life Like for Children with Peer Relationship
Problems?
Slide 37
The Experience of Peer Rejection A year-long wireless
observation study revealed 32 distinct types of rejection that
could be grouped into six major categories Asher, Rose, &
Gabriel (2001)
Slide 38
Excluding and Terminating Interaction (e.g., sending a child
away) Were not gonna play with him ever. Denial of Access (e.g.,
refusing a childs attempts to join) Laura is not in the club.
Aggression (e.g., physically attacking) Dominance (e.g., giving
orders) Stop it, you fool. Moral Disapproval (e.g., disapproving of
someones behavior) Involving a Third Party (e.g., relaying a
negative statement) Now Im supposed to tell you to please kiss
off.
Slide 39
Poorer School Adjustment More difficulty in early school years
(Ladd, 1990) Higher rates of school drop out (Parker & Asher,
1987)
Slide 40
Greater Loneliness at All Ages Assessed Even very young
children have a basic understanding of what loneliness means. Do
you know what being lonely means? Uh-hum. Like if youre uhm, a
Martian, and you dont eh, eh, uh, and you only live on one planet
andnobodys um, with ya, on that planet.
Slide 41
Loneliness and Social Dissatisfaction Questionnaire (Asher,
Hymel, & Renshaw, 1984) Primary Items Its easy for me to make
new friends at school. I have nobody to talk to. Im good at working
with other children. Its hard for me to make friends. I have lots
of friends. I feel alone. I can find a friend when I need one. Its
hard to get other kids to play with. I dont have anyone to play
with. I get along with other kids. I feel left out of things.
Theres nobody I can go to when I need help. I dont get along with
other children. Im lonely. Im well-liked by kids in my class. I
dont have any friends.
Slide 42
Filler Items I like to read. I watch TV a lot. I like school. I
play sports a lot. I like science. I like music. I like to draw and
paint. I like playing board games a lot.
Slide 43
Loneliness and Social Dissatisfaction Questionnaire for Young
Children (Cassidy & Asher, 1992) Primary Items Is it easy for
you to make new friends at school? Do you have other kids to talk
to at school? Are you good at working with other kids at school? Is
it hard for you to make friends at school? Do you have lots of
friends at school? Do you feel alone at school? Can you find a
friend in class when you need one? Is it hard to get kids in school
to like you? Do you have kids to play with at school? Do you get
along with other kids at school? Do you feel left out of things at
school? Are there kids you can go to when you need help in school?
Is it hard for you to get along with the kids at school? Are you
lonely at school? Do the kids at school like you? Do you have
friends at school?
Slide 44
Slide 45
Slide 46
Slide 47
Slide 48
Items on the UCLA Loneliness Scale 3 rd Revision Sociability
Items How often do you feel outgoing and friendly? How often do you
feel shy? Social Provision Items How often do you feel you can find
companionship when you want it? How often do you feel there are
people you can turn to? How often do you feel that there are people
you can talk to? How often do you feel that you lack companionship?
How often do you feel that there is no one you can turn to?
Closeness/Intimacy How often do you feel that no one really knows
you well? How often do you feel that there are people that really
understand you? How often do you feel that you are no longer close
to someone? How often do you feel close to people? How often do you
feel that your relationships with others are not meaningful?
Slide 49
Belonging/Similarity How often do you feel that you are in tune
with the people around you? How often do you feel part of a group
of friends? How often do you feel that you have a lot in common
with the people around you? How often do you feel that your
interests and ideas are not shared by those around you? How often
do you feel that people are around you but not with you? Isolation
How often do you feel left out? How often do you feel isolated from
others? Loneliness Items How often do you feel alone? All items
answered on a 1 (never) to 4 (always) scale. (Russell, 1996) Items
on the UCLA Loneliness Scale 3rd Revision (cont.)
Slide 50
Asher, Gorman, Guerra, & Gabriel (in preparation) 775
fourth and fifth grade students ranging in age from 9 to 11 years
old. Children completed a rating-scale sociometric measure to
assess childrens acceptance by peers. Children completed an
inventory of behavioral nomination items, which contained 12 items
used to identify children who are prosocial, submissive, withdrawn,
or aggressive. Children completed a loneliness questionnaire that
consisted of 12 items asking about loneliness in the context of
class, the lunchroom, the playground, and in physical
education.
Slide 51
Research Aims To develop a reliable measure of loneliness in
various school contexts To learn whether there are context
differences in loneliness To learn whether differences between
accepted, submissive low-accepted, and aggressive low-accepted
children vary as a function of school context
Slide 52
Items on the Loneliness in Contexts Questionnaire- School Age
Classroom Do you feel sad and alone in your classroom? Is the
classroom a lonely place for you? Are you lonely in your classroom?
Lunchroom Do you feel sad and alone in the lunchroom? Is the
lunchroom a lonely place for you? Are you lonely in the lunchroom?
Physical Education Do you feel sad and alone in P.E.? Is P.E. a
lonely place for you? Are you lonely in P.E.? Playground Do you
feel sad and alone on the playground? Is the playground a lonely
place for you? Are you lonely on the playground?
Slide 53
Filler Items Do you like to do math at school? Do you like to
read at school? Do you like to play sports at school? Do you like
going on field trips with your class? Do you like to draw and paint
at school? Do you like having parties in your classroom at school?
Do you like going to the library at school? Do you like music class
at school? Do you like making reports to the class? Do you like to
work on group projects at school? Do you like reading books at
school? Do you like to play games at school? Do you like doing
homework? Do you like to write stories at school? Do you like
school assemblies? Items on the Loneliness in Contexts
Questionnaire- School Age (cont.)
Slide 54
Loneliness in Context Measure: Internal Reliability Classroom
=.82 Lunchroom =.85 Playground =.86 Physical Education =.85 Total
Score =.94
Slide 55
Slide 56
New Revision of Loneliness in Context Measure (Asher &
McDonald, in preparation) Class is a lonely place for me. I am
lonely in the evening. My place of residence is a lonely place for
me. My free time is a lonely time for me. I feel sad and alone on
weekends. I am lonely with other people. I feel sad and alone at
social events. I am lonely during meal times. I feel sad and alone
when I am studying. Bed time is a lonely time for me. All items are
answered on a scale of 1(never) to 5(always).
Slide 57
Can Social Relationship Skills Training Make a Difference?
Slide 58
Social Skills Coaching Oden & Asher (1977) Assumptions and
Features School is an ideal context for intervention Game playing
as an activity context Coach meaty concepts
Instruct-Practice-Review Average status partners Avoid
stigmatizing
Slide 59
Coaching Results: Peer Acceptance Significant improvement in
acceptance status of rejected children. On follow-up, there was
continued improvement in peer acceptance. No significant effect of
coaching on friendship
Slide 60
Slide 61
Subsequent Social Skills Training Research Peer acceptance
gains found in 10 of 15 studies Friendship was assessed in only 3
other studies. None found gains in friendship on a limited
friendship nomination measure.
Slide 62
Slide 63
The Social Tasks of Friendship Initiating outside of school
contact Being an enjoyable companion Helping friend Reliable
partner Managing conflict Friendship in the larger peer group
context Self disclosure Expressing affection Friendship
transgression Appreciating spirit of equality (Asher, Parker, &
Walker, 1996)
Slide 64
Managing Conflicts of Interest
Slide 65
Rose and Asher (1999) 710 fourth-and fifth-grade children
rating-scale sociometric measure to assess peer acceptance
reciprocally nominated friends were identified from each nomination
question: all best friends, three best friends, very best friends
modified version of the Friendship Quality Questionnaire; the focal
child for their report was the very best reciprocated friend they
had, as assessed from the friendship nomination measures 30
vignettes, each of which focused on some form of conflict within a
friendship; for each vignette children rated their strategies and
goals, with the assessments separated in time and with order
counterbalanced
Slide 66
Hypothetical Situations Representing Conflicts of Interests
Within a Friendship Exclusivity/Dealing with Friendship in a Larger
Social Context Example: You are looking forward to playing with
just your friend at recess, but your friend asks some other
children to play with the two of you. Helping/Self-Sacrifice
Example: After school you go over to your friends house and you are
playing his/her video game. Your friend tells you that he/she has
chores around the house to do each week and that they are supposed
to be done by that night. He/She hasnt started any of them, and now
he/she is worried he/she wont have time to get them done. He/She
asks you if you would help him/her with his/her chores. You tell
your friend that you are having fun playing the video game, but
your friend still wants you to help him/her. Maintaining Spirit of
Equality Example: You and your friend just finished playing a board
game. You had fun playing the game because you got to pick the game
and it is your favorite. You really want to play the same game
again, but your friend doesnt want to and says its his/her turn to
pick.
Slide 67
Hypothetical Situations Representing Conflicts of Interests
Within a Friendship (cont.) Being a Reliable Partner Example: You
and your friend are supposed to go to the movies on Saturday
afternoon. Then a boy/girl in your class who you really like calls
and invites you but not your friend to a birthday party on
Saturday. You would like to go to the party, but your friend still
wants you to go to the movie with him/her. Managing Disagreement
Over Resources Example: You are putting together a puzzle during
the lunch break. Youve worked very hard on the puzzle, and its
almost finished. Your friend comes over, picks up some puzzle
pieces, and wants to play with the puzzle with you. You tell your
friend that you really want to finish the puzzle by yourself, and
you ask him/her to give back the puzzle pieces, but he/she doesnt
want to give you the puzzle pieces.
Slide 68
Goals Used in Each Hypothetical Situation Goal TypeActual
Wording Relationship GoalI would be trying to stay friends. Moral
GoalI would be trying to be fair. Tension ReductionI would be
trying to keep myself from getting upset Instrumental GoalI would
be trying to go to the movie I want to see. Retaliation GoalI would
be trying to get back at my friend. Control GoalI would be trying
to keep my friend from pushing me around
Slide 69
Strategy Type, Definition, and Example Strategy TypeStrategy
Definition and Example Accommodating StrategyEngaging in an action
which satisfies the interests of ones friend at the expense of ones
own interests (e.g., I would tell my friend that he can pick the
movie.) Compromising StrategyEngaging in an action which satisfies
both ones own interests and ones friends interest (e.g., I would
say that I would go to his movie this time if I could pick the
movie next time.) Verbally Aggressive StrategyStatement by the
focal child which has a high probability of hurting the friends
feelings (e.g., I would tell him to shut up because I want to
pick.)
Slide 70
Strategy Type, Definition, and Example (cont.) Strategy
TypeStrategy Definition and Example Self-Interest Pursuit
StrategyEngaging in an action which satisfies ones own interests at
the expense of ones friends interests (e.g., I would tell my friend
that we should go to the movie I want to see.) Leaving
StrategyPhysically leaving the situation (e.g., I would just go
away.) Threaten Termination ofVerbally threatening to terminate the
Friendshipfriendship if the friend does not comply with the wishes
of the focal child (e.g., I would tell my friend that I wont be
friends with him unless we go to the movie that I want to
see.)
Slide 71
Reliable Partner: Goal You and your friend always play together
at recess. One day some other kids ask if you want to be on their
team to play a game. You would like to be on their team, but your
friend still wants you to play with him. What would your goal be in
this situation? really really disagree agree A. I would be trying
to get back at my friend. 1 2 3 4 5 B. I would be trying to play
the game. 1 2 3 4 5 C. I would be trying to make sure that things 1
2 3 4 5 are done fairly. D. I would be trying to keep myself from 1
2 3 4 5 getting upset. E. I would be trying to stay friends. 1 2 3
4 5 F. I would be trying to keep my friend from 1 2 3 4 5 pushing
me around.
Slide 72
Reliable Partner: Strategy You and your friend always play
together at recess. One day some other kids ask if you want to be
on their team to play a game. You would like to be on their team,
but your friend still wants you to play with him. What would you
say or do? definitelydefinitely would not dowould do A. I would ask
the other kids if my friend 1 2 3 4 5 could play too. B. I would
tell my friend that he is a jerk 1 2 3 4 5 for trying to make me
still play with him C. I would play the game. 1 2 3 4 5 D. I would
just go away. 1 2 3 4 5 E. I would tell my friend that I wont be
friends 1 2 3 4 5 with him anymore if he keeps trying to get me to
play with him. F. I would play with my friend. 1 2 3 4 5
Slide 73
Goals After Cluster Analysis Relationship Maintaining Goal
(trying to stay friends; trying to be fair; trying to keep from
getting upset) Instrumental/Control Goal (trying to meet ones own
needs; trying to keep from being pushed around by the friend)
Revenge Goal (trying to get back at the friend)
Slide 74
Strategies After Cluster Analysis Accommodation/Compromise
Strategy Self-Interest Assertion Strategy Hostile Strategy (e.g.,
leaving, being verbally aggressive, threatening to terminate the
friendship)
Childrens Endorsement of the Goal of Revenge in Response to
Normative Conflict Situations with Friends Average Revenge Goal
ScorePercent of SampleN On 1-5 Scale Across 30 Hypothetical
Situations Greater than or equal to 4.0 6.1% 41 Between 3.0 and
3.9915.1%101 Between 2.0 and 2.9925.5%170 Between 1.0 and
1.9953.2%355 Notes.Higher numbers indicate stronger endorsement of
the revenge goal. These data are based on secondary analyses of
Rose & Asher (1999).
Slide 77
Indexes of Friendship Adjustment 1.Number of Best Friends
2.Friendship Quality Positive Friendship Quality -intimate exchange
-validation and caring -help and guidance -companionship and
recreation -conflict resolution Friendship Conflict
Slide 78
Summary of Hierarchical Regressions of Goals and Strategies on
Number of Best Friends, Positive Friendship Quality, and Friendship
Conflict Number ofPositive Friendship Friendship Best
FriendsQuality Conflict MeasureR 2 B a F R 2 B a F R 2 B a F Goal
Relationship Maintaining.00.08 3.52.01.09 2.90.00 -.06.97
Instrumental-Control.00 -.05 1.34.00 -.04.65.03.16 9.91***
Revenge.02 -.14 14.77****.01 -.11 4.86*.06.25 24.72**** Strategy
Accommodation-Compromise.00.10 2.56.00.01.03.01 -.19 5.32*
Self-Interest Assertion.00.01.02.00 -.01.01.04.22 13.48***
Hostile.01 -.12 6.79**.00.00.00.05.26 17.83**** a: After
controlling for gender, acceptance, grade, and the Gender x
Acceptance, Gender x Grade, Acceptance x Grade, and Gender x
Acceptance x Grade interaction terms in the regression equation.
*p