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1 Issue 5 |26th February 2009 | www.ussu .co.uk/thestag Issue 5 Editor : Claire Worgan Editor-In-Chief : Elizabeth Simos Produced in USSU Media Hub, University of Surrey , Guildford Est. 2008 FREE By Amy Campbell T he sabbatical elections are taking place this week on campus and give you the chance to vote in next year’s sabbatical team of 2009/2010. Voting is open from Wednes- day 25th until Thursday 26th of February from 10am- 5pm in the Library Foyer, Austin Pierce building and the lecture theatre concourse. Candidates who are elected will consist of ve  sabbatical ofcers who together with full time union staff are responsible for the day to day running of your stud ents union. Each sabbati- cal ofcer has designated responsibilit ies and oversees different aspects of the students union, on issues that affect education, welfare, culture,  sports and societies. Together , they decide on the policies and direc- tions that the union should take, by voicing your needs, concerns and views to make your student experience is the best it can be. Previous sabbaticals have left these roles and incorporated their  skills into successful careers. Dav- id Varney, a Chemistry Graduate from Surrey, was the rst Presi- dent of the Students’ Union in 1987. After taking on the role of President, he worked for Shell International Petroleum where he was appointed Managing Director of Shell UK. Progressing in his career at Shell, he then joined British Gas as Chief Executive, but moved to HM Revenue and Customs, where he took on the role as Chairman. Ben MaCauley, Venue Manager of Rubix, took on the role as VP sports running for two years as a Sabb in 1990-200 1. Before taking on his position as a sabbatical, Ben said, “As a stu- dent at the University of Surrey I was captain of the Rugby rst team and sports executive. I also contributed to the students union work- ing for security in my nal year as a Material Science Engineering Student.” He then re- tuned back to the University in 2002, where he took on his current position as Venue Man- ager playing a central role in the operation of Rubix. Nicolas Short was elected VP Sport and Rec- reation in 2006 on a mandate of making sport at Surrey more efcient and improving com- munications. He said that, “The most memo- rable aspect of my time as a Sabbatical was that spent helping to design the new Sports Centre for Manor Park, and our li vely debat es with the architects, who wanted to design their own sports centre, rather than the one we wanted.” Continued on Page 3 ... WHAT A LOAD OF BALLOTS F e e l i n g   A r t y  F a r t y ?  A r t s  S e c t i o n  P a g e  2 1 Candidate pictures pages 16 & 17  N  e  w  s  ,  N  e  w  s  ,  N  e  w  s   !  P  a  g  e  s  1   -  7 Stars in your eyes? Horoscopes Page18 Sports news Pages 30 & 31
Transcript

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1Issue 5 |26th February 2009 | www.ussu.co.uk/thestag 

Issue 5

Editor : Claire Worgan

Editor-In-Chief : Elizabeth Simos

Produced in USSU Media Hub,

University of Surrey,

Guildford

Est. 2008

FREE 

By Amy Campbell

T he sabbatical elections are taking place

this week on campus and give you the

chance to vote in next year’s sabbatical team

of 2009/2010. Voting is open from Wednes-

day 25th until Thursday 26th of February from

10am- 5pm in the Library Foyer, Austin Pierce

building and the lecture theatre concourse.

Candidates who are elected will consist of five

 sabbatical officers who together with full time

union staff are responsible for the day to day 

running of your students union. Each sabbati-

cal officer has designated responsibilities

and oversees different aspects of 

the students union, on issues thataffect education, welfare, culture,

 sports and societies. Together, they 

decide on the policies and direc-

tions that the union should take,

by voicing your needs, concerns

and views to make your student

experience is the best it can be.

Previous sabbaticals have left

these roles and incorporated their 

 skills into successful careers. Dav-

id Varney, a Chemistry Graduate

from Surrey, was the first Presi-

dent of the Students’ Union in1987. After taking on the role of President,

he worked for Shell International Petroleum

where he was appointed Managing Director of 

Shell UK. Progressing in his career at Shell, he

then joined British Gas as Chief Executive, but

moved to HM Revenue and Customs, where

he took on the role as Chairman.

Ben MaCauley, Venue Manager of Rubix, took 

on the role as VP sports running for two years

as a Sabb in 1990-2001. Before taking on his

position as a sabbatical, Ben said, “As a stu-

dent at the University of Surrey I was captain

of the Rugby first team and sports executive.

I also contributed to the students union wor

ing for security in my final year as a Materi

Science Engineering Student.” He then r

tuned back to the University in 2002, whe

he took on his current position as Venue Maager playing a central role in the operation

Rubix.

Nicolas Short was elected VP Sport and Re

reation in 2006 on a mandate of making spo

at Surrey more efficient and improving com

munications. He said that, “The most mem

rable aspect of my time as a Sabbatical wa

that spent helping to design the new Spor

Centre for Manor Park, and our lively debate

with the architects, who wanted to desig

their own sports centre, rather than the on

we wanted.”

Continued on Page 3 ...

WHAT A LOADOF BALLOTS 

F e e l i n g   A r t y  F a r t y ?  A r t s  S e c t i o n  P a g e  2 1 

Candidate picturespages 16 & 17   N e w s ,  N

 e w s ,  N e w s  !

 P a g e s  1  -  7

Stars in youreyes?

HoroscopesPage18

Sports news

Pages 30 & 31

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 2

 In this issue..... 

NewsPages| 3 -8

Including Sabbatical Information

Features

Campus Boy | page 9

GU2 Update| Page 10

Food| Page 12

Fashion for Spring | Page 13

Not News| Page 15

Candidate Pictures| Page 16 &17

HoroscopesPage 18

 Societies

Islamic Society| Page 20

PSA| Page 20

 Arts

Music Reviews | Pages 21-24

Literature |Pages 25&26

Film | Pages 27&29

 Sports

BSA | Page 30

Ice Diving & Football | Page 31

Find out more information at:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/grou

php?gid=36469776493

www.ussu.co.uk/thestag 

 Save our stags,

recycle your paper! 

Well, to be honest dear readers I have lit-

tle to say... (Shock Horror). Normally I can’t

 stop talking in this short paragraph of wis-

dom. I must say though that I have had

a very social two weeks. Black and Whiteparty run by the Politics Society was an

excellent event and I hope that many of 

 you have also been enjoying the events of 

RAG Week, not forgetting the night where

everyones sins come to light in the form

of Fetish!. I have become nocturnal, the

interesting delights of night have become

a regular occurence for me, in the form

of forced insomnia. So maybe the union

 should hold an all night party to cure my 

need to stay awake at night, discovering the delights of David

 Attenborough and the Arctic on bbc at 4am in the morning...... Closing words... Avoid wine that suggests “ Best consumed with french fries and

fried chicken.” It’s not worth it.

 C l a i r e

 - x -

Worgan’s Words 

Editor| Claire Worgan: [email protected] 

News| Amy Short & Steven Hayton: [email protected]

Features| Kim Harris : [email protected]| Justin Waite & Mariam Nasir : [email protected]

Sports| James Simpson & Danielle Gianotti 

 [email protected]

Music| Rachael Fitz-Patrick : [email protected]

Literature| Amy Barnes :[email protected]

Film| Ollie Sim: [email protected]

Science| Toby Shannon : [email protected]

Marketing| Amy Campbell :[email protected]

Copy Editors | Joe Kenward & Stephanie Davies

The Stag is an editorially indepedent newspaper and is

published by the University of Surrey 

Students’ Union Media Hub.The views expressed in the paper are those of individ-

ual authors and do not necessarily represent the views

of the editor or her team, the Student’s Union or the

University of Surrey.

Printed by Surrey and Berkshire Media Limited

Stoke Mill House, Woking Road, Guildford, Surrey GU1

1QA

The Stag reserves the right to edit submissions. Please

direct all enquiries to the relevant section editors.

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3

What do the

 Sabbs do? 

The Union President 

This is most senior Student Representative at the

Uni, acting as the voice for all students on campus by

ensuring that representational structures are in place

and being used. The President works with the team of

full time Sabbaticals and part time Executive Officers

to promote the views of students to the University. The

role also means being the main point of communication

between the Students’ Union and the University in order

to make sure students’ views are taken into account in

every decision that affects them.

Vice President Education 

This is the leading representative on all academic

matters affecting students, meaning they oversee the

  student academic representative system, the Studen

Union’s academic support provision and promote the

needs of students to all University committees which

relate to studying here. As the representative of the

academic experience at Surrey, this position also has a

voice nationally and acts as the champion of educationa

campaigns and activism relating to University fees and

other important matters.

Vice President for Welfare

This is charged with looking after the wellbeing needs

of all students on campus and in the community. Thismeans taking on individual student cases as well as

liaising with student care services about provisions for

 students and the issues that might affect them. They also

oversee the Students’ Union amenities – RAG, LGBT, PGA

and St John’s Ambulance.

VP Societies and Individual Development  

This role oversees the Guild of Societies, the ‘DAVE

Project’ for the personal development and employability

of students, as well as cultural events such as I-Festival

and projects to encourage the social integration of al

  students. ‘Do More’ (student volunteering) and ‘Giv

it a go’ (workshops and adventures) also come under

this position. They ensure that all of these activities are

 student led and benefit students.

Vice President for Sport and Recreation

This role is responsible for representing the

  sporting needs of all Surrey Students to the Un

and nationally. Liaising with the Sports Centre

team about the development of sport at Surrey, this

position is instrumental to the direction of sport on

campus in light of the new sports development and

2012 games.

Continued from front page...

When asked about his time as President from

2003-04, Pete Tivers said, “As a student atSurrey, I had the time of my life. I became

involved in the Students’ Union through my 

involvement with GU2 Radio, as well as vari-

ous other activities. Standing for President

of the Students’ Union was my way of giving 

 something back to the Union, the University 

and the student body. The role was hugely 

rewarding and helped shape me into the

person I am today. I cannot deny it was hard

work, but the opportunities and responsibili-

ties given to me as a recent graduate were

incredible and thoroughly rewarding”. His

role as President made him realise that he

wanted to have a career in higher education.He is still working for the University of Surrey 

as an Education Liaison Centre and as an

 Assistant Warden.

 Andy Blair was a VP communications Sab-

batical, a role that no longer exists, but en-

abled Andy to contribute immensely to the

Students’ Union. Andy said, “My time as a

Sabbatical was the most influential year 

of my life, and gave me the opportunity to

learn how to represent views, influence

through idea sharing, recognise the power 

of team collaboration and expose myself to

challenges I was totally unqualified to un-dertake inside a £2.2million organisation. I

thoroughly enjoyed every second of it”. Andy 

was responsible for negotiating the £40k 

that was required to build and launch GU2

Radio. Together with the other Sabbaticals,

he launched the first full version of the Un-

ion website. Andy is still with us at the Uni-

versity of Surrey, where he is Director of Mar-

keting & Communications for the University,

responsible for global marketing for recruit-

ment of students and development of Sur-

rey’s overall reputation as a premium insti-

tution for teaching, learning and research.

“The most important thing I learned as a

Sabb was to listen to others opinions, as

whether right or wrong, they are as impor-

tant to those expressing them as yours are

to you. If I’d recognised that at the start, I

would have had a much smoother ride in

my first few months and it has subsequently 

  served me well.” After completing a suc-cessful year as VP Sports, Nick started work 

for IBM as a Business Architect, rationalis-

ing the operations of multi-national corpo-

rations and government agencies. This, he

 said, was very similar to what he attempted

to do as a Sabbatical, just on a larger scale.

When asked about the position of Sabbati-

cal Officer, Bob Anderson, Director of the

Students’ Union said, “To be a Sabb is a life

changing experience that prepares students

for their future careers.”

When voting, you will be asked to present

  your University Campus Card by union of-ficials at the voting polls. Paul Coward, an

Election official, said, “Last year we took ap-

proximately 1,800 votes which is minimal if 

  you look at the population of the students

at Surrey which is around 12,000. This year 

we aim to get about 3,000 votes, creating 

a wider depiction.” All placement students

have been sent an e- mail giving them the

opportunity to vote for the next Sabbatical

team.

Campaigns will start the week commenc-

ing the 24th February, with candidates en-

couraging you to go and vote for them. So-cieties and sports clubs should not favour a

particular candidate, as it is important that

individual consideration is acknowledged.

Results will be announced in Chancellors

Restaurant at 6pm on Friday 27th February.

The new Sabbatical team will then take of-

fice in July 2009.

Your vote is extremely important to the fu-

ture of your Students’ Union, so make sure

 you choose wisely. Details of the candidates

manifestos can be found on: www.ussu.

co.uk/sabbaticals.

[email protected]

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5

Post Bag 

The Next Deadline......

If you want to submit an

article to us then please

make sure we have it by 

Tuesday March 3rd 

to ensure it goes into the

paper on time!

D e ar T he St ag, W hy is it t hat ever y wee k on campus, I come acr oss yetanot her ad ver t i sing campaign cons is t ing o f jus t 10 0 s o ft he same A4 pos t er . It ’ s so r ed iculous ly was t e f ul t o havet h e ch oic e of 5 0 po st e r s t o r e a d , in e ac h d ir e c t io n Igaze not t o ment ion how ugly i t makes t he campus. Oc-cas ionna ly I see post er s in p laces where i t would act ua ll y

be impos sib le t o r ead t hem s uc h as on t he t op f l oo rs o ft he higher bu ild ings . It ’s qui t e d epre ss ing f or me, andot her e nvi ronment a ll y consc ious st ude nt s , t o see so much

paper need lessly was t ed in t h is way. W hy not be mor eimaginat i ve? F or ins t ance you could c re at e just a f ewbut b igger mor e unusua l pos t er s t o grab people ’s eyesand t hey could even be visua ll y a t t r act i ve f or a change.You bor ing un imaginat i ve ad ver t i sing id io t s , get w it h t het wen t y f ir s t c en t ur y, s uc h f l agr an t was t e is no l onger

accept ab le ! Yours, J ames 

On Wednesday 18th February, between

3.00pm and 5.00pm, five laptop computers

were stolen on campus. They were taken from

the Library, the AA building and the AD build-

ing. The police and security officers were on

alert and patrol.

Having a laptop stolen is a double-dose of 

bad news, since not only are you confronted

with the fact that your expensive laptop is now  gone, but you also have to deal with the possi-

bility of data theft. Credit data, email records,

license keys, personal documents, all at the

fingertips of the kind of person who was will-

ing to steal your laptop in the first place.

 A message to all students and staff is to always

keep your belongings with you at all times, es-

pecially laptops.

If you know anything regarding the thefts

please call 01483 (66) 2002 or 9114

Theft on

Campus

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Private Sector House Hunting! By Amy Short

T hose of you who have not been  successful in finding yourself 

accommodation for next year… DON’T 

PANIC! All Private Sector and Property 

Managed housing will be advertised

on the Surrey University StudentPad,

which can be found by going to www.

  surreystudentpad.co.uk. Property 

Managed houses will be listed on Monday 

23rd February, and Private sector rooms

and houses will be listed on Monday 

2nd March. But whether you are doing it

 yourselves or through the University, there

are some important issues to bear in mind.

Let’s start with the most important issue;

  gas safety. Twenty people a year in the

UK die from inhaling carbon monoxide

fumes as a result of faulty or poorly 

maintained gas appliances. Symptoms

of carbon monoxide poisoning include

headaches, nausea, dizziness and drowsiness

and can be fatal in a matter of hours. Many 

mistake these symptoms with having a

hangover, and so won’t discover the gas leak.

Landlords and Letting Agents are obliged to

have gas appliances checked annually by a

CORGI registered engineer (this will change toCapita from 1st April 2009), and must provide

tenants with a gas safety certificate. Never move

into a property until you have had sight of the

certificate – when it comes up for renewal, you

must be provided with a copy within 28 days.

Don’t be scared to ask and don’t be fobbed off.

You may also want to buy an audible carbon

monoxide alarm (manufactured to a recognised

British or European standard) although this

 should be used as an extra layer of protection

to compliment the regular inspections.

It is often necessary for students to make useof Letting Agents to broaden their search. An

agent’s main fee will be paid by the Landlord

but if you decide to take a property you will be

asked to pay an administration fee. The level

of admin fees varies considerably between

agents; from £30 to £150 plus VAT per tenant.

There is plenty of room here for negotiation.

If the agent uses an external company to take

up references – and most do these days – the

cost to them will be between £20 and £40 per 

person. They will not want to miss out on the

much larger commission by squeezing you

on the admin fee, so drive a hard bargain.

The three professional bodies that cover letting 

agents are ARLA , NALS & RICS. If it becomes

necessary to deal with an agent that is not a

member of any of these organisations, be on

  your guard against questionable practices –

 such as charging students to view prospective

properties – and avoid those that practice them.

It is not unusual for a group of students to

leave signing the Tenancy Agreement until

the day that they are due to move. While

this may be convenient for all concerned,

it leaves you in a vulnerable position.

  Although you may have agreed the terms

  several weeks before, there is nothing to

 stop the Landlord from changing his mind at

the last minute. He may be required to pay a

withdrawal fee to the agent, but you will not

receive any redress. Once the terms of the

tenancy are agreed, get all parties to sign

the agreement as quickly as possible; evenif that means posting it between the tenants.

If you do end up in the unfortunate position of 

having a Landlord withdraw at the eleventh hour,

ask the agent if you can pay for you references

and save time by using them on another property.

You should be aware of the term ‘Joint and several

liability’. It means that, in legal terms, a person

can be held liable for any part or all of a bill, so

in other words – be careful who you share with.

The principle of joint and seveliability applies to Assured Shortho

Tenancy Agreements, so if you and yo

housemates are on a single tenan

agreement and one of you fall behi

on the rent, the Landlord will come aft

the others to make up the shortfall. T

principle also applies to guaranto

  Another important issue is dep

protection. A deposit of between four a

 six weeks rent will normally be requir

to protect the Landlord against dama

to their property. Since April 200

Landlords, or their Letting Agents, hahad an obligation to protect depos

received in one of the authoris

  schemes. Tenants should be provid

with details of where there deposit

protected within fourteen days of payme

There is still widespread abuse of the n

regulations, either as a result of ignoran

on the part of the Landlord or in many cas

deliberate neglect. If your deposit has not be

protected within the statutory period, you c

commence proceedings against the landlo

under section 214 of the Housing Act 200

The Act states that a court must order t

Landlord to pay the tenant three times t

amount of the deposit if it has not been protecte

although in practice the sanction is unlikely

be imposed if the Landlord has protected t

deposit by the time the hearing comes aroun

The three authorised schemes all offer

  Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) serv

and although the parties can opt out, t

courts are unlikely to look favourably

Landlords and tenants that refuse a free AD

 service and clog up the courts. What is clefrom the disputes that have gone throu

 ADR so far is that if a Landlord does not ha

evidence – normally in the form of an invento

- that any disputed damage was caused by t

tenant, then the deposit will be returned in fu

Hopefully you will now be in better shape

enter the private rental market with confiden

Remember to make use of the Accommodati

Department. Even if they can’t help with findi

 you a property, they are always on hand to off

valuable advice.

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7

Channie’s Hit By Vandals

Variable CostsBy Peter La

Press Officer 

In 2006, most universities in England and

Wales were allowed to start charging fees of 

up to £3,000 per annum to Home/EU under-

 graduate students. This fee system is called

‘variable fees’, and was a recognition by the

 government that the money allocated to uni-

versities from taxation was not enough to pre-

 serve the quality of teaching and learning. The

University of Surrey, in common with almost

every other university, decided to charge the

full £3,000, (£3,145 in 2008) whilst offering a

 generous raft of bursaries and scholarships to

 students whose personal backgrounds meanthey require further financial support. Surrey 

has a long-standing commitment and track 

record in ensuring, where possible, students

who have the ability to study here are not pre-

vented from doing so by financial considera-

tions.

The University has committed about one third

of its additional fee income to bursaries and

  scholarships and a further third to various

measures aimed at improving the student ex-

perience. This pot of money is referred to as

the ‘Access Agreement Fund’.

To date the University has committed almost

 £3 million to projects to improve the student

experience. The focus has been on projects

which deal with areas highlighted by students

as needing enhancing, with a preference for 

those which will bring benefit to larger num-

bers of students.

The projects have included many focused on

learning and teaching. For example, labora-

tories and equipment have been upgraded for 

Science and Engineering students and addi-

tional teaching staff have been appointed inManagement and Engineering to reduce the

 student staff ratio. A number of pilot schemes

have been run including the 24-hour opening 

of the University Library, allowing students the

flexibility to access the resources they need.

 A Maths Support Centre in the Faculty of En-

 gineering and Physical Sciences will also be

created.

Extra funding has been allocated to the

Student Personal Learning and Study Hub

(SPLASH) as well as library resources for new

programmes. Projects involving e-learninand new technology include the widening o

the campus wireless network access schem

and a text message system for students in th

Faculty of Management and Law enabling up

to-date communications to be sent out to larg

 groups of students.

The Access Agreement Fund has also bee

used to provide more welfare support for stu

dents. A successful pilot of peer mentoring i

the residences in Manor Park has been suc

cessfully rolled out across the other halls o

residence. The Access Agreement Fund als

provides funding for a Welfare and CaseworCo-ordinator in the Students’ Union.

The University’s own Access Agreement wit

the Office for Fair Access (OFFA) is available on

the OFFA website at http://www.offa.org.uk

For full details of the University’s current fee

position visit the Registry site at: http://porta

 surrey.ac.uk/portal/page?_pageid=719,1&

dad=portal&_schema=PORTAL

On the second night of RAG week 

many students ventured to Chancel-

lors for Chnnies Challenge. During 

this time it is thought that male stu-

dents took part in drawing graffiti on

the walls of the men’s toilets. Unfor-

tunately those responsible are yet to

be found.

“Last year over £10,000 was spent 

on vandalism” claims Alan Roy, Com-

mercial Services Manager for theUniversity of Surrey. These unneces-

 sary costs could have been spent on

other facilities for the students.

If you have any information regard-

ing the vandalism on the night og 

Channie Challenge, then please con-

tact either Chancellors or Security.

 Sara Hadfield 

Do  you  ha ve  a  fea ture 

 tha t you  think  the read -

ers  o f  The  S tag  would 

lo ve?  Then Email us!

Sec tion Edi tors

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8

By Amy Short

No doubt you’ve seen the posters covering every brick wall, door andwindow around campus… yes, I think everyone was aware that it

was RAG week last week. The University of Surrey Raising and Giving  society is an amazing opportunity to make a profound difference tothe quality of life for those who are not so fortunate through organising and running amazing events and initiatives. It is a great way to meetnew people and develop valuable skills that will enhance your timeat Uni and career prospects. An estimated figure of around £5,000is what the team have raised, which will be going to charities in thearea.

Monday night saw around 1000 people attend Rubix for Neon Night. £2000 was raised from ticket sales alone, and collection buckets,

 glow stick sales and face paint sales raised around £300. It was abusy night and there were even some good deals at the bar.

Chancellors Challenge on Tuesday raised around £400. Entrancefee was only a pound! 180 people took part in the challenge, somany people they had to get extra chairs from HRB. The night was a

 success.

On Wednesday, there was the biggest inter-society T-shirt pub crawl thatthe University has ever seen! The night started off at 7pm in Channies,then on to The George Abbot, Wetherspoons (who were giving studentdiscounts on a pub crawl for the first ever time!), Flares and then back to the union where the T-shirt provided free entry to Citrus in Rubix.

Thursday’s Pyjama Movie Night in Management School LectureTheatre went down a treat. Everyone sat munching on their pop cornwhilst watching the film ‘Cool Runnings’. Entrance was only one poundand free with a RAG wristband.

Friday’s Beer Festival at Rubix saw a large selection of Surrey’s Finesfrom £1 a pint and free entry! No pints were over £1.50! Three locabreweries provided the ales and beers. As well as that it was alsoFetish Night number two! Tickets were sold out by Tuesday so it wasclearly a popular night!

There will be more information about RAG Week in the next issue othe Stag, including how much was actually raised and an overviewof all the goings on. If you have a story you would like to share

Glad Rags and 

Glowsticks

Headline act to be confirmed soon | 7pm – 7am

Fun Fair | Casino | Performers | Paparazzi

Fortune Teller | Caricaturist | Magician

Photographer | Body Artists | Karaoke

DJ Leroy | Survivors Photograph

Full English Breakfast

 Grad Bl   • •• •FRIDAY 26TH JUNE 2009

Tickets available from the Bookshop soon

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9

Ca mpu  s B o y 

Don’t sit there, don’t sit there, don’t… oh, superb. She sits. The lecture

theatre is barely half full, and she chooses here. This is tantamount to

 standing beside me in the urinal, something which would render my 

bladder unable to release its fluid. In such a situation, I’d be forced

to pretend to wee for approximately twenty seconds, before washing 

my hands and exiting as per normal, despite still needing relief. Here,

 she’s hemmed me in, no escape, and she’s smug, because she knows

it. The etiquette of the lecture theatre is to sit amongst friends and

vague acquaintances, it seems. I choose wall. Despite attempting to

 shield my face with a hand, she catches my eye and smiles. Perhaps

because she’s expended energy on moving facial muscles in my eye-

line, she’ll feel it acceptable to add me on Facebook? Well, the egg willbe on her face, because I don’t have an account. Search away in vain,

 you hunter of profiles, you’ll remain un-befriended.

I consider the scores even, then, given that she almost fooled me

into reciprocating a smile. I might have even done friendly eyes… oh,

please don’t let me have done those. She scored early doors, but I was

under-prepared, vulnerable to the advances of newcomers to my own

little world. I decide to make a move, capturing territory on the arm-

rest, a sneaky manoeuvre to make the score 2-1. I ponder my next… is

 she calculating hers? She could break wind in my direction, knowing I

have only the wall to retreat towards, and pull even in the scoring. Or, I

could break wind and race clear? There is no wind. I sit and hope that

 she’s similarly unarmed.

The lecture is underway, and I’m glazed over, my mind synthesising in-

ner thoughts with the information absorbed from the external world.

Suddenly, I identify a threat to my personal

 space, a pen rolling towards the edge of the

desk. Her pen. Is this a test, is she wanting 

me to crack? It drops to the floor, beside

my foot. I sense that this is a moment when beings would be drawn

into interaction, a possible point-scoring minefield. I decide to let her 

 scramble for it, fully deserved, I feel, if you fail to control your station-

ary. I refuse to break, even as she flails a hand blindly at the floor, and

 she attempts another smile. Is that 3-1? Or does she score for violat-

ing my space and fondling my shoe, in her attempts to re-capture her 

pen, to cause me discomfort? I spend the rest of the lecture trying to

decide, until the situation is clarified as the desks flip into the backs of  seats. The goalposts move, and I set a final challenge to ascertain the

victor. It’s a race to the exit.

She’s out of the blocks first, given my disadvantaged position of wall-

hugger. There’s just one focus now; head down, a single last ditch

charge to the doors… got to try and appear normal, lay off the engine

noises. Here! An opportunity, she’s chosen the wrong line and is being 

held up at the lectern. I plough onwards, surely certain to win now, out,

out into the cool, victorious air. I beam, cheering internally, to the puz-

 zlement of those waiting to enter. And then I realise. The lecture hand-

outs. My face drops. To those watching, I appear mildly schizophrenic.

I attempt to re-enter the room, where I’m met by my competitor, and

I’m forced to hold open the door. She smiles, friendly eyes, and thanks

me. And I struggle through the groaning hoards into the warm, stifling air of humiliation.

Fear and Loathing on Campus 

MID-WEEK £1.50 SPECIALS

Specials will be served ONLY from 3pm till 5pm

The specials will be run from Mondays to Fridays

CHOOSE FROM 3 OPTIONS

A NEW RANGE AT THE START OF

EVERY NEW WEEK

For further details or other information

please ask the Chancellors Bar Staff. Thank you.

 Te x  Me x

M ucho Mi x

 The ne w  TE X ME X

 M ucho op tion

No w being ser ved

 in Chancellors

J US T £10.00

INCLUDES 

A  LA RGE PLA  TE O

F NA CHOS  TO SHA 

RE

PLUS EI THER 4 CO

RONA S or A  BO T T

LE 

OF HOUSE RED OR

  WHI TE  WINE

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10

Loads of Stuff Has Happened And Will Happen

 Soon. So For The Second Week Running I Won’t Have The Space To Tell You How I Bumped Sweet 

Uglies With Some Of The Planets Most Beautiful 

 Swimsuit Models And Pop Starletts

By Andy Vale

Sorry if you were expecting explicit carnal details of some of the

most famous GQ cover models in recent years. I’d love to give you

 graphic descriptions of how I touched the untouchables in unmen-tionable places in front of some famous faces, but the stolen video

will hit the net soon enough.

It seems that my calls here have been heard! We have now almost

completely filled up all our specialist slots and now you can hear 

almost any genre of music you could possibly want at evenings and

weekends. There are still some daytime slots going as well, we’re

looking for people who can chat rubbish, be a little bit entertain-

ing and press play at regular intervals. It’s not all glamour. If this

 sounds like something you’d like to do then email TRAINING@GU2.

CO.UK 

We are now giving away Flirt and Citrus tickets every Wednesday and Friday from 4-7pm. So if you don’t feel like queueing, pay-

ing and being one of the general populace, then listen in and bag 

 yourself a couple of tickets for diddly-nothing. Speaking of events,

we have played/will be playing more events than I feel like list-

ing so look out for us at any parties, functions or Rock-a-boogie

 seminars that you may feel like attending. We even got ourselves

a cheeky set during Neon night! It went down damn well, want us

again? Tell the Union! Soon we will also be putting on gigs around

campus that I recommend you all come to. Early days, but this

 sleeping beauty is about to be kissed.

For about five minutes on Friday the 13th we went national as Ste-

ve Lamacq interviewed me on his BBC6 music show. Every week 

Steve features a student radio station on his show and picked

for that particular week. The interview can easily be found on

and has already received over 50 downloads.

 A final big thing will be in Mid-March. I’ll be doing a marathon

hour show to raise money for Comic Relief. During that time I’l

doing interviews, various features, learning to play the ukelele (u

lele permitting) and maybe even attempting a few world reco

 As the station frequency is 1350am, I’m looking to raise £1350

many highly worthy causes. Go to www.justgiving.com/AndyVal

donate and I’ll put you on the ‘wall of honour!’

To listen to your very own student radio station, go to www.G

co.uk or tune into 1350 am. If there isn’t something on that

like then you can listen back to any show for up to a week! To

any nicer to you would involve dinner first.

 Justgiving - donate to charity and raise funds online - Andy Vale’

Fundraising Page

Source: www.justgiving.com

 Justgiving - the easiest way to fundraise and donate to charity onl

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Scientist in the kitchen Toby Shannon brings you a hearty stew...

Veggie style!

Hey kids. I’ve managed to break my way out of the lab deep in the cellar of AZ to bring you a good solid supper - something to set you up for the night ahead. This stew is a really good way of using up whatever veggies you havlying around the place along with a few storecupboard staples (not office staples... ah, you know what I mean...)So go on - give it a go, it’ll make up enough for a few hungry friends and try serving it with some rice, mash or eve

 some cous-cous (so good they named it twice). The veggies I’ve listed are just what I happened to have to han- mix and match!

 A note on Stock Vegetables - this is a really useful storecupboard ingredient. A mixture of lentils, pulses, grains,pastas and dried vegetables that handily bulks out soups, stews, casseroles and so forth. I’ve even used themwith chillies and curries and they’ve been jolly nice.

Ingredients:

150g dry stock vegetables

Vegetable oil, a couple of tablespoons

1 medium onion, sliced

1 pepper (red, green, yellow - your choice), sliced1 tin tomato soup

1 tin chopped tomatoes

Veggie stock cube/powder/liquid

Dried mixed herbs

Salt ‘n’ pepper 

Marmite (optional but bear with me...)

 So... What’s cookin’?

Firstly, put the stock veg on to the boil - follow the instructions on the bag (cover with cold water, bring to the boi

for 10 minutes or so and then cover and simmer for about 30 mins... or something like that). Meanwhile, heat theoil in a large saucepan and gently fry off your peppers and onions until they’re softened and then add your tinsof tomato soup and chopped tomatoes and gently warm it through. Add a big pinch of herbs, your veggie stockand S&P to taste. Right - Marmite. I know it sounds odd but it’s a mix of deep savoury tastes and when it’s mixedinto the soup base it tastes nothing like neat marmite - use about a teaspoon or so and taste as you add so youdon’t go overboard. Stir in the cooked stock veg and allow the stew to bubble away gently until it’s nice and thickHow does it look? How does it taste? If it needs a touch more seasoning go for it and you might try adding a bit ofconcentrated tomato purée for a more intense flavour or chilli sauce if you like a bit of a kick. Serve it up with yourrice or whatever and maybe some nice bread too. If you make too much, sling it in the fridge and warm it up for

lunch the next day. Good luck and bonne apetit!

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13

  Gem Carved Cuff ,£15

Accessorize Spring Clean

Metal Bow

Waist Belt,£19.75

ASOS

Top, £4Skirt, £11

Both from

Primark 

Shoes, £30Love Label at

Littlewoods.com

Leather Ruffle

Detail Across BodyBag, £19.58

ASOS 

Grecian

Contrast Dress,

£55Lipsy

Miso Jersey

Batwing

Top, £16.62Re ublic

Crafted Skinny

Flare Jean ,

£34.24Republic

Dress, £40

TopshopDress, £15Shoes, £14Both from

Primark 

Bustier

Ruffle Dress,

£60Lipsy

Punched Metal

Layered HoopEarrings, £8

Accessorize 

Jumpsuit,£15

Shoes, £15Both from

Primark 

Faux Snake

Grab Clutch,£24.45

River Island

Colourblock Tulip Dress,

£55Lipsy

The cosy season is no more so why hang 

on to those winter warmers? Wardrobe  space is precious (as we all know) so

why not get rid of the old and invest in

the new... Have fun with these gorgeous

treasures... Enjoy!

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******** WARNING *******

 THIS IS NOT NEWS! ************************

By Pete Nattress

The University of Surrey’s annual popularity contest will be in full swing this week, as severalcandidates duke it out for the chance to spend anextra year at university and add something vaguely interesting to their CVs.

The popularity contest is a Surrey tradition whichhas become increasingly important in recent

 years, and is generally recognised as the ultimatetest of how many friends one has and how muchtolerance those friends have for a week’s worthof tiresome campaigning. Several positions areup for grabs every year, including the prolific ‘Mostfriends’ post. Deputy positions include ‘mostposters printed’, ‘most fulsome breasts’ and‘standing unopposed and winning by default’.

Over the next few days the contenders will havetheir flyer-making and blu-taccing skills testedto the limit as they attempt to plaster as muchof the campus’s ugly concrete facade with asmany fluorescent posters as possible. In additionunleashing a barrage of visually arresting posters, the candidates will also be harassing the electorate on Facebook, hiring legions of volunteers to harass the electorate in real life, and

frantically wracking their brains to think up cheap,last-minute gimmicks in order to sway the vote.

In previous years, candidates have publishedmanifestos, but conventional wisdom suggeststhis is an unnecessary step. Popularity contestcampaign manager Hailey James says that postersare the best and easiest way to win a popularity contest. “Posters, posters, posters. Every year we see a direct correlation between the amountof posters strewn around campus and amount of votes cast. It also helps if the candidate has a lotof friends to vote for them. Friends and posters.”Furthermore, the posters rarely need to specify anything other than a candidate’s name and theposition they’re standing for. “Putting anything else on the poster for a popularity contest wouldbe redundant,” added James.

With levels of student apathy higher than ever,this year’s campaign is expected to be particularly hard for the contestants. “It’s not just a case of having the most friends any more”, explained Rick Chavinsky, a popularity contest analyst for IpsosMori. “Now, to win a popularity contest, you haveto have friends who are willing to drag themselves

out of bed before polls close at 5pm and correctly fill in a confusing ballot paper. You need a lot of 

dedication from your base.”

One candidate has repeatedly stood in thepopularity contest for many years withou

  success. Ronald Matthews, known on the ballopapers simply as ‘Ron’, attributes his failure to hisrefusal to ‘play the game’. “I don’t put up postersI don’t invent fickle manifestos, and I don’t forcemy friends to vote for me, mainly because I don’have any,” he said defiantly. Ron is standing for alpositions in the popularity contest and Not Newshas decided to endorse him due to his bolshie,unorthodox campaign style.

The popularity contest is completely unrelated tothe Student Union sabbatical elections also takingplace this week, which offer the valuable chancefor Surrey students to participate in a meaningfuand important democratic process.

By Pete Nattress

The erection of a gigantic stag at the entrance of the University of Surrey has been delayed due tologistical problems.

Initial blueprints called for the stag to be a fifty foot tall behemoth which breathed fire and shit

electricity from a specially-designed Tesla coilmounted in its cavernous rectal passage. It wasalso originally supposed to have a pair of monstrous

  glowing red eyes which would “strike the fear of God” into passers-by and regular visitors alike.However, council planning officials ruled that the

 statue would be a “health and safety nightmare”,an “unavoidable distraction to drivers” and “aboveall, a little too ostentatious for Surrey.” Revisedplans to capture a real stag and put it in a cagewere met with horror from animal rights activists,especially as the Tesla coil feature was still part of the design.

The stag has long been associated with theUniversity of Surrey, presumably because of the

  stag infestation on the grounds which causes

literally dozens of goring and stamped relatedinjuries every year. The university’s rebranding incorporated the stag image into the new logo,but Head of Marketing Sheila Fields claimed thatthe thousands of pounds spent doing so simply weren’t enough. “We needed an actual stag,” sheclaims, “because otherwise it’s false advertising,which is illegal. So we built one.”

The revised blueprints for the stag show thatit will now be a mere twenty foot tall, but madeentirely of gold, with a copper exterior to protectit from inclement weather conditions. At a cost of 23 million pounds, some students have wonderedif their tuition fee money could have been better 

  spent on new facilities or equipment, but MsFields explained that the stag practically pays for itself. “Look at it,” she said. “Isn’t it marvellous?Who wouldn’t want a humongous stag guarding the entrance to their university and scaring peopleon the A3?”

The stag is due to be unveiled a good few yearsbefore the university rebrands again, this time toa squirrel-based theme.

 Annual campus popularity contest gets underway 

 Stag plans scaled back 

“Copyright clearance issues held the projectback initially.”

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16 

Patrick O’Shea

2nd Year Law Student

Kiren Vadher 

PhD Student

presenting your Sabbat

union’s president

VP Education

VP sports and recreation

Elizabeth SimosAsh Murray Mike Blakeney

Theo Ieronymides Nick Entwistle

Chris Moffatt Goku “S” ParmarDan “BamBam” SmithBen Phillips

For more information on how to

manfestos please visit

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17

Murat Badem

Photography Society member 

Marios Tziortzis

Photography 

Society 

member 

ical Election candidates

VP welfare

VP societies and individual development

Denise BensonNatalie

Forrester Malcolm Hunt

Meg Georgiou

Sam Bull Tom Wiblin

Justin WaiteLisa Shah

Dan Pullen

vote and to see the candidates’

www.ussu.co.uk /sabbaticals

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19

  T h e A P S a n d P S Y C H s o c ie t ie s p re s e n t . . .

 An evening with the SEXTHERAPIST!

Ever wondered what a sex therapist does?

Learn about:

 Dysfunction,

 Relationship issues

 Sex therapy techniques

 And more…

OPEN TO ALL S TUDENTS AND S TAFF

 Monday 2nd March 2009

7.30-9.00pm in LTL

Wine and biscuits provided

Advance tickets £1 from the bookshop from the 16th 

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 20

We greet you with the Islamic greet-

ing: Peace and blessings of Allah(meaning God Almighty) be upon

 you.

The Islamic society would like to

invite you to its Islamic Awareness

Week, from the 9th to the 13th of 

March 2009. During the week, a

poster exhibition will be held at the

Lecture Theatre Concourse and

literature about Islam can be ob-

tained for free. There will also be a

 series of interactive talks delivered

by international speakers on differ-

ent topics including:

• God between science and

religion

• What do you really know 

about Islam?

• He was called the trustwor-

thy: Mohamed P.B.U

• What do you know about the

Quran?

• Islam among world religions

• Islam: A way of life

• One message, several mes-

 sengers

Muslims and non-Muslims are in-

vited to take part and ask any ques-

tion on any issue. Lunch time talks

are at 13:00 and free lunch is pro-

vided. Evening talks are at 6:30 and

refreshments are provided. Times

and Locations will be advertised

around campus soon.

The aim of the Islamic awareness

weeks is to promote awareness of 

the true teachings of the religion

of Islam, especially in the midst of 

negative connotations associatedwith Islam in the media. Two of the

meanings of the word “Islam” are

  submission and peace. A Muslim

means in Arabic, ‘the one who sur-renders; submits; obeys with sincer-

ity and in peace to the will of God’

(Allah in Arabic).

The week ends with a charity dinner 

on Friday the 13th of March, where

volunteers cook food from around

the world and sell at a cheap price.

  All the money goes to charity to

  sponsor orphans. Last year, three

orphans from Sri Lanka , South Af-

rica and Lebanon were sponsored

for at least one year each.

The Islamic society at the University 

of Surrey consists of Muslim stu-

dents at the University and works

very closely with the Muslim com-

munity in Guildford and the sur-

rounding areas. Our aim is to serve

the Muslim community and provide

an environment where members

can practice their religious duties

in the best possible way. We also

aim to provide a platform for un-

derstanding and dialogue between

Muslims and non-Muslims across

all cultures, religions and back- grounds.

We currently hold our five daily 

prayers in the prayer room located

in the Cathedral Court Reception

Building. Jumma (Friday prayers) is

being held at the University Hall be-

tween 1:10 and 1:35.

Hope to see you soon. Peace and

blessing of Allah be upon you

Written by Islamic Society commit-

tee members

Email:[email protected] 

Islamic Awareness Week 

 After deciding on the first blog for 

PSA Surrey, I started to think what

it is that makes this society mem-

bers different than others here

at Surrey University. Instantly, I

recalled the evening of 16th Oc-

tober, 2008 when Annual General

Meeting (AGM) was organized by 

the former committee members.

 And to my surprise out of five, only 

two committee members were

present. They were antagonistic

to answer few simple questions

on the events they organized dur-

ing their term as in charge. I wit-

nessed an evening where few 

people were looking to achieve

 something and at the same time

few to interrogate and within next

half an hour we had our new com-

mittee for 2008-09.

I want to call this new team ‘Pa-

kistani Celebrities’, few want to

  get famous with little effort and

few with sheer luck. Whether our 

new team redesigns PSA’s vision

or keeps the traditional vision we

need to wait till the next AGM.Today, I do see a spark of light in

the dark room of PSA since some

promises made by the elected

President during the election are

becoming a reality. From the Fa-

cebook page of PSA-Surrey, I can

  say Pakistanis studying here at

the University certainly shown in-

terests in the working of PSA. With

the event list unfolding, PSA very 

quickly have organized two events

  so far. First one was the sports

event of Cricket and the second,

the Earthquake Relief campaign

for south western province of Pa-kistan.

Let me just give you a brief on

the sports event first, it was on a

fairly dry, cold afternoon. I was ex-

pecting nothing amazing that day 

and it remained the same. Three

matches were played, each team

had six players and guess what

rules were modified to suit the

conditions? Anyway it was a good

 sporting event in the end and we

managed to gather crowd.

The most important event so fa

is certainly the ‘Earthquake R

lief Fundraising’ event. It wa

organized in two days and th

outcome was definitely beyon

my expectations, as the socie

 gathered almost £2000. Hats o

to the member sisters, as the

put up a stall of Henna Mendh

in the cold weather (temperatur

dropped to 6 degree Celsius)

front of the University library. Si

ters were supported by voluntee

throughout the day and this mad

the event a success. I personal

was one of the volunteers an

was amazed by the brave siste

 sitting in severe weather for a n

ble cause. This shows the carin

nature of international studen

 studying thousands of miles awa

from their home country and the

hearts feeling the pain for th

homeland people. This was th

most exemplary display from th

Pakistanis, showing every perso

in the University the true meanin

of humanity. Fundraising monewas given to the Edhi Foundatio

UK office on the 28th November

This is a story of PSA performanc

  so far from the fall semester

2008 and lets see how PSA ge

along in the New Year.

 As a Great Poet said once,

khudi ku kar buland itna ka ha

taqdeer se pehle

khuda bande se khud poch

bata teri raza kiya hai (Allam

Iqbal)

Written by: Hamza Javaid (PhD

Researcher)

Treasurer, Pakistan Students’ As

 sociation (www.ussu.co.uk/psa)

For comments please email

at: [email protected] or 

[email protected] 

Edited by: Mariam Nasir 

Pakistan Students’ 

 Association (PSA)

 performance in the fall of 2008 - 9th February, 2009

Have you got news to share from

 your society?

Let our Societies’ Editor know at

 [email protected]

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 22

Date: 5th February 2009

Venue: Wates House

The Say Something music nights

have been a feature at Wates

house over the past year or so, and

it’s a chance for some of Surrey’s

finest musicians to perform in a

relaxed environment. The event is

free, and it’s always a great night

to pop down to on a weeknight.

First on was Becky Woolls, a music

 student here at Surrey, who is an

amazing pianist and singer. Hav-ing turned up slightly late, I only 

managed to catch the second part

of her set as more people began

to mill in, shrouding around the

corners and door. Woolls has an

awesome voice, and played some

 great covers, including one of my 

favourite Zero 7 songs, Home. She

played a huge back catalogue of 

 songs, and was a great way of get-

ting people into the room, away 

from the bar.

Next up was Starsmith, the alter-

ego for Fin Dow-Smith, who has

been growing in popularity in re-

cently weeks. His style of electro-

indie is about as popular as it gets

at the moment, and seeing people

perform with laptops and comput-

ers has always been an interest-ing and challenging experience.

For one of his first performances,

it was really tight, and the Sex On

Fire cover with a vocoder was gen-

ius.

Last up was Toy, a band from the

  ACM. They played a style of reg

 gae-inspired pop, with some really

catchy lines and vocal melodies.

Toy also included a saxophonist,

which was great to see in a live

band, away from the regular gui-tar/bass/drums. It did start to get

a bit repetitive after a while, but

  you couldn’t fault them as good

musicians.

 All in all, it was a great night, and

the sound and atmosphere was

  great. One of the best things is

  you can duck in and out without

feeling guilty that you’ve paid. I

can safely say that it’s much bet-

ter than some gigs that I’ve had topay to get in.

By Mark Allen

When: 6th - 27th March 2009

In terms of live music, it is a popular be-

lief that Guildford leaves much to the im-

agination, but perhaps those people need

to scratch the surface and take a proper 

look.

Suburban sprawl is the perfect opportuni-

ty to seek out new music, as it seems like

it’s literally going to be everywhere, from

the more obvious locations such as The

Boileroom to the slightly more obscure Fri-

ary Shopping Centre. We’re in there tooas the University, in fact there are twenty 

venues involved over twenty-two days (6-

27th March) featuring 200 bands. Surely 

in amongst that there will be something for 

everyone?!? The list of events is far too

long for me to list in this tiny little article,

but there is a lovely large web page that

  shows them all: www.myspace.com/sub-

urbansprawl2009 . One thing is for sure,

if Uni work and suburban sprawl were to

have a fight, the sprawl would always win

 so at least check out one event and seewhat all the fuss is about.

Rachael Fitz-Patrick 

Our Music Editor 

Rachael Fitz-Patrick and her team o

reviewers presents you with some

more ear tingling reviews for the Ne

Year !

‘Say Something’ Music Night 

 Suburban Sprawl is coming!! 

Esser -

Work It Out 

Released: 23/02/09

Esser is a London-based producer/composer,

who is quickly gaining ground within the elec-

tronic music circuit. With some great vocoder 

work in the chorus, and some brilliant remixes

from the likes of Sinden, this is a great single

for pop and electronica fans alike. Catch him

on tour with the Kaiser Chiefs towards the end

of February.

Rachael Fitz-Patrick 

Deceptively simple, Big Black Hole is the latest

offering from Indie heavyweights The Hours.

Now a seven-piece band, it seems The Hours’

tracks have grown with their line-up as BBHcombines brutally honest lyrics with a lucid

rhythm section. Expect to wake up to this most

mornings on Radio 1.

Michael Gray 

The Hours -

Big Black Hole

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 23

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 24

Date: 30 January 2009

Venue: Boileroom, Stoke Fields,

Guildford 

There’s nothing better than live music (awaits

cries from people arguing that this, that and

the other are indeed better than live music).

For the sake of argument, go with me on this

one.

I had no expectations for this particular gig,

as I hadn’t heard of any of the bands. I had a

quick peek at the critical acclaim on Facebook 

but that was as far as my research stretched.

This, however, made for an interesting evening.

Hipslinky opened, providing a melodic set

packed with fantastically catchy indie-flavoured

 songs. The lead singer, who introduced himself 

as Walter and looked more like a dishevelled li-

brarian, held the crowd with his infectious yelp

and an impressive guitar collection. If you like

Pull Tiger Tail, you’ll like these guys.

Following this energetic start, The Third Man

took to the stage. Fronted by ex-Kook member,

Max Rafferty, the band resembled a Doherty/ 

Borrell/Followill hybrid. Whilst I shuffled my 

feet obligingly through the set, The Third Man

failed to rouse the enthusiastic toe-tapping in

me that Hipslinky achieved.

Headliners Brakes appeared fairly unremark-

able. This was until singer Eamon Hamilton

 strutted to the stage wearing a shiny body suitand helmet, punching the air with his fist. Thun-

dering through charged, punk-spirited rants

about pineapples, chickens and people who

try to talk to you when you’re at a gig, Brakes

ticked the rock box. On the flipside of this, w

Hamilton’s tender rendition of ‘Jacksonvill

during which his wife joined him onstage. D

 spite their name, Brakes showed no signs

 slowing down in this dynamic whirlwind of wi

banter, cider for the audience and a deliciou

raucous and fun set. My feet were sore fro

all the floor-pounding (I like to think it wasn

the stack heel boots I was wearing.) If you li

 your bands fast, furious and funny, check o

Brakes.

 Amy Barnes

Brakes

 Supported by HIPSLINKY and THE THIRD MAN 

MUSIC: CHARLIE BARBER

CHOREOGRAPHY: JEAN ABREU 

PERFORMERS: MAVRON STRING

QUARTET, JEAN ABREU & DANCERS 

8th March 2009

The Electric Theatre, 7.30pm

Spring 2009 sees the World Premiere of Boulevard

of Broken Dreams - a unique collaboration between

live music and dance. Featuring a specially-written

musical score by composer Charlie Barber, and with

choreography by Jean Abreu, Boulevard of Broken

Dreams brings four stunning young dancers and

four brilliant young musicians – The Mavron String 

Quartet - on stage together.

The result is an explosive mix of Latin influences,

live music, world beats, dance and physical thea-

tre. Boulevard of Broken Dreams opens at Taliesin

 Arts Centre in Swansea on 12 February 2009 and

takes in sixteen venues across Wales and England.

On 8th March 2009, as part of the 10th Guildford

International Music Festival, The Electric Theatre,

will play host to this exciting collaboration.

Boulevard of Broken Dreams explores how peo-

ple meet in unpredictable ways, the tension cre-

ated between characters in public spaces and how 

bonds can be created and dissolved in the space

of a day.

The music takes its starting point from ‘Plaza de Ar-

mas’ (Place of Arms), the name of the main squarein many Latin American cities surrounded by gov-

ernment buildings, churches, and other structures

of cultural and political significance. The name

derives from the fact that this would be a refuge

in case of an attack on the city, from which arms

would be supplied to the defenders.

The work exploits the interaction between the two

quartets as characters converge and compete in

this portrayal of the urban condition

 Jean Abreu will draw on his mix of Latin dance roots,

capoeira and contemporary dance whilst Charlie

Barber will explore his passion for world music,

electro-acoustic soundscapes and new trends in

classical composition. Featuring four dancers (in-

cluding Jean Abreu) and the Mavron String Quartet,the work will explore and contrast aspects of gen-

der as well as exploiting the interaction between

the two quartets.

The Mavron Quartet will perform on stage as part of 

the action and the overall visual concept of the pro-

duction. The string quartet will also be amplified. The

live music will have a cinematic soundtrack quality,

both in scale and content, and will be mixed and ma-

nipulated by a sound technician who will interweave

the live sound material with electronically generated

 soundscapes.

Cardiff-based composer Charlie Barber has a stro

local and national following. His prolific output a

composer, and talent for combining musical in

ences and genres, have brought him acclaim fr

audiences and critics alike. His recent performan

and touring programmes have featured musicia

dancers, DJs, street performers and multi-me

content.

 Jean Abreu was born in Brazil and is now based

London. His distinctive choreographic style merg

his Latin dance roots and his British contempor

dance training, and has led to him winning The J

wood Award and The Place Prize commission. T

Mavron String Quartet formed in 2002. It has sin

worked with artists as diverse as Judie Tzuke, A

Parks and Sibrydion. Based in Cardiff, the Quar

is resident at the Gate Arts Centre and recen

 gave a series of recitals in Ischia, Italy.

soundaffairs... 

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Look out for the next CD handout for yo

chance to review 

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 25

Literature Get those creative juices flowing....

Toby Shannon goes on a journey through time and space... With pizza,hackers, mobsters and a cat called Cat.

number9dream by David Mitchell I stumbled across this in your friendly neighbourhood bookshop the other day. My New Year’s resolution (other than my annual “Make it smashing”)is “Try books you normally wouldn’t think of...” and, boy, I’m glad I did.

Number9dream is a really rather marvellous book that chronicles 19 year-old Eiji Miyake’s search for his estranged father, taking him from his family farm on a remote Japanese island right into the very heart of urban Tokyo.It flits from fantasy to reality, past to present and back again and there aremany moments when the lines get blurred just a little bit... Eiji is a really incredible narrator and it’s a thrilling journey that peers into the heart of life

in modern Japan and the stories behind normal people and extraordinary events.

The novel deals with love and loss, fantasy and reality, family and forgivenessand it’s full of little moments, perfectly described, that make you feel like

  you’re treading Tokyo’s sweltering streets right along with the narrator.From the claustrophobia of his rented capsule bedroom to his vivid buttragic childhood memories, the book leaves you wondering... Where doesthe dream end...?

If you’re looking for a bit of an adventure, a change of scenery or you’re just interested in a great modern novel, give it a go. I think you’ll be glad you did too.

Reviewed By Jessica Lamb

It made me laugh when I read a review on Amazon calling Twilight ‘amasterpiece.’ A literary phenomenon is something Meyer’s series isnever going to be. But the saga has taken America by storm; the newestedition, ‘Breaking Dawn,’ selling over one million copies on the firstday of release. The hype seems to have missed the UK, only recently hitting the bestseller list. I, however, discovered the books early andalong with millions of American teenage girls and the middle-aged officeworker I saw carrying the latest instalment at the station last week, I amhooked.

The story follows seventeen year old Bella Swan as she falls inlove with vampire Edward Cullen at her new school in the small, rainy town of Forks. Whilst I’ll admit Meyer’s writing is not that of a classicalnovelist (in fact it gets worse as the series progresses), it is of littleimportance as she adopts the informal, chatty voice of her protagonist,allowing for colloquialisms. And there is something strangely compelling about Meyer’s seductive, dreamy prose. I found myself falling in lovewith Edward like a gushing thirteen year old. He has golden eyes, amesmerizing voice, and silky white skin. He possesses incrediblepowers, speed and strength. He’s polite, courteous, rich, clever... Anddon’t worry; he’s a good vampire. Along with the rest of his coven hedoes not drink human blood. What’s not to like?

 

 As for Bella, anyone who was ever an awkward teen will find it easy empathize with her. She’s the new girl at a small school, is accideprone and hates being the centre of attention. Viewing the world froher perspective makes falling in love with Edward unavoidable. I hato admit that as Twilight progressed I started to find her slightly tobsessive, making it harder to relate to her. Luckily the growing rof her friend Jacob makes up for her faults. He is a stereotypical, cteenager, with a disregard for the rules. He certainly adds a more comelement to the romance, which would otherwise get too much for evthe most hardcore chick-lit fan.

As the story continues, Bella unsurprisingly finds that havingvampire boyfriend is really quite dangerous. From meetings with oth

carnivorous vampires, to accidentally bleeding in front of the Cullen famBella’s close proximity to the undead starts to pose a risk to herself, hfamily and her friends, leaving to face some very difficult decisions. T

 saga is certainly not for everyone. The over-sentimentality means thanyone cynical about romance should avoid it at all costs. It is not reaaimed at men either, though obviously I don’t want to stereotype. for age, it is irrelevant. In fact, the majority of reviews on Amazon wealong the lines of: ‘I thought I’d be too old for a book aimed at younadults... but it’s the best book in the world.’ It is aimed at teenagers, bis perfect for an easy, compelling read when you’re procrastinating fro

 studying.

The first three in the series are available from most bookshops for und £5 and Breaking Dawn is only a few pounds more.

(Not available in the campus bookshop)

Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking DawnBy Stephenie Meyer 

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 26 

Reviewed By Rachael Fitz-Patrick Bonfire of the Brands is a web-blog-turned-book which follows the journey of one

 guy who decides, perhaps crazily, to live without brands and to literally burn themall in a massive bonfire in the middle of London. On the surface this may not

 seem easy, but when given a bit more thought it leads to questions such as: how will he live without Tesco for food or Colgate to stay cavity free? The answer: hevisits local markets and makes his own toothpaste.

This book documents his initial obsession with brands, his counselling sessionsand the beginnings of his new life. He raises questions that made me look atmy own brand usage, and the complete power they have over us without us evenrealising. For instance, when buying a bottle of water which do we choose andwhy? Surely they are pretty much all the same give or take the odd mineral.When two objects we are looking to purchase are the same, it is the emotionalattachment to a brand and what we think it stands for, that makes us buy oneover the other?

Neil Boorman provides the history of brands and how they first dipped their toeinto manipulation of the public and have never looked back since. He does attimes labour the same point, and some sections especially quoted articles I haveto admit I skim-read. However, this isn’t the anti-brand tirade I think he startedout to make, the book shows a journey that ends in general acceptance thatbrands are a part of life and you need to keep your wits about you to make surethey don’t rule it.

 The Stag would like to apologise for an error in the last issue. The Review of SecondChance By Jane Green was actually reviewed by Mariam Nasir.

[email protected]

Bonfire of the Brands by Neil Boorman

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 27

Film Get the popcorn ready.....

[email protected]

With a deep disheartened breath, I

think: here we go again. It’s always

the problem that when someone like

me comes along and trashes a ‘chick 

flick’, women retort, “It’s because you

are male”. However, here is the prob-

lem, there were ‘feminist films’ some

time ago that were sassy, entertain-ing, and also had a sharp edge. Let

me refer to you to; When Harry Met

Sally, Now, Voyager, George Cukor’s

The Women (recently remade, that

wasn’t good either). There are whole

back catalogues of ‘feminist films’

that are satisfyingly funny and full of 

wit. Even I have a soft spot for Steel

Magnolias.

This, girls, is not good enough. He’s

 Just Not That Into You is begging for 

one thing and one thing only; your 

hard earned money. In return, you

have two hours of horrible characters

and trashy dialogue. The two writers

of Sex and the City have written the

 screenplay, and from that alone, eve-rything falls into place. Believe me all

females out there; I’m on your side.

Please don’t see this.

Ollie Sim

1/5

He’s Just Not That Into You (12A)

I have a confession to make and it is that I really 

like David Fincher. I think he’s a masterful direc-

tor and he has a real competence when it comes

to filmmaking. He has made some really good

films, that are suspenseful, nail biting and in my 

opinion, underrated marvels. Not least of all be-

ing Seven, which I have to be very honest, is one

of my favourite films. There, I said it.

Now why is it someone like David Fincher has

 gone and made this whimsical, snail-paced and

most of all, huge fuss of a film? Why does the film

take ages to say absolutely nothing? The best re-view I have heard of this film is from Jon Stewart

who says it’s, “Forrest Gump meets (snore)”.

 Adapted from the F. Scott Fitzgerald short story,

Brad Pitt plays Benjamin Button, a man who ages

‘backwards’ and, like with all these things, has

wild and quirky adventures. Along the way he trav-

els to Russia, Paris and he also falls in love with a

dancer named Daisy (Cate Blanchett). While tell-

ing this story (Julia Ormond given the most thank-

less role), an elderly Daisy is lying in her deathbed

in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. Low and behold,

 she has Benjamin’s diary and we start to stare at

our watches.

I have a philosophy and that is, any film over two

hours has to tread carefully in order to justify its

running time. In other words, it has to maintain

our attention as an audience because a film over 

two hours is longer than an average film. The

problem with The Curious Case of Benjamin But-

ton is not just because it’s overlong, it just says so

painfully little.

To give credit where it is due, the direction almost

makes the film have some value. Only some.

David Fincher certainly knows how to organise a

 shot and you can trust him to try and make a filmlook polished. Also, the guys and gals at the helm

of the special effects department deserve every 

award that comes their way.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is basically 

a whimsical folly. Aside from the fact it’s too long;

it has many pretensions of preaching to us about

the ‘value of life’ or even how ‘everything happens

for a reason’. There is one moment where the bal-

lerina gets run over by a taxi, and that was the

most entertaining moment of the whole film...and

I was laughing. In short: it’s a film that aspires to

be something, but is nothing.

Ollie Sim

2/5

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (12A)

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 28

Have you been to see a

film lately and fancy tell-

ing us what you thought

about it?

[email protected]

If The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is overlong, then Bolt

is just about the right length. Oh, and says more about the hu

man condition (pun very much intended). The story centres on

a dog, Bolt, who is the star of a superhero franchise along with

his owner, Penny. One day, Bolt escapes from his compound to

try to rescue Penny from the ‘real world’. The only problem is

that he believes he has superhero powers, and that Penny has

been ‘kidnapped’ by the main villain from the show.

For what the film is, it is entertaining for the most part and it

has its funny moments. It’s certainly better than the most re

cent Disney films, but what is lacking is most of Pixar’s charm

and wit. It’s carefree, it’s generic, it does not play on anything

new, but in the end it’s all you need it to be these days. I have to

 say though (just a note), the hamster almost steals the show.

Ollie Sim

3/5

Bolt (PG)

Milk, one of the latest in a long line of films tipped

to win big at the Oscars come February, stars Sean

Penn as the charismatic San Francisco-based po-

litical activist who was assassinated by one of his

former colleagues and then-rival in 1978.

The film intersperses archive footage of the area in

the 1970s, together with a realistic modern-day rec-

reation of said locations. Along with these shots, the

audience is told the story of Harvey Milk, his politi-

cal beliefs (not prevalent until later on in the film),

his love life and how he came to be so passionate

about the issues he risked his life for. Director Gus

Van Sant, known more for his unconventional and

more indie films as well as a rather mediocre re-

make of Hitchcock’s Psycho in 1998, chooses Milk 

as his first mainstream film in years and he has cer-

tainly chosen well, opting for a controversial subject

but treating it with dignity and the respect it rightly 

deserves.

  As the film progresses, outside interference from

various political parties threatens the gay commu-nity in the Castro district of San Francisco where

Milk lives and works and an openly gay establish-

ment has been accepted. However, Milk remains

determined and understands the negativity from

rivals and outsiders is merely a result of their fear 

and confusion.

The final third of the film tells of how his nearest rival,

Dan White, a family man whose own campaigns are

 somewhat overshadowed by Milk’s building success,

attempts to gain voters. The two build a partnership

which both figures believe will strengthen their own

campaigns, and there are occasional scenes here

where Milk is portrayed as outlandish and aggres-

 sive in his approach to dealing with fellow political

associates.

The kind nature of Milk is built-up well throughout the

entire film, he offers shelter to those in dire need, he

tries to befriend outsiders who see him as a threat

and Van Sant does an excellent job in picking Penn

to play the lead role, for he is an actor who naturally 

exudes generosity and friendly mannerisms. Penn’s

final scene, that of Milk’s death, is fantastically ex-

ecuted. The entire scene is in slow motion and con-

veys Milk’s dying moments as a shocking turn of 

events, the quick nature of the murder following the

earlier confrontation between Milk and White echo

the shallow nature of the politics on offer.

The aftermath of his death is fantastically portrayed

by director Gus Van Sant, who shows the thousands

of loyal activists who once gave their lives to Milk 

through their over-eager protests, walking the streets

holding candles in memory of the great man. I foundthis scene particularly poignant, for the realisation

of his widespread support was not obvious until

then, such was the magnitude of the moment.

Having been a fan of Penn’s for years, I was expect-

ing a brilliant performance. I was not disappointed.

The film faithfully pays respect to the life of a man

who risked his all to help others live their lives to full

effect, and is highly enjoyable to watch as well.

4/5

Milk (15)

Primarily an actor’s piece, adapted from the Pulitzer Prize-winning 

play by John Patrick Shanley (who also directs). Set at a convent in

the Bronx, Meryl Streep plays a strict nun (we all saw this coming),

who suspects a fellow clergyman (Philip Seymour Hoffman) of offer-

ing wine to a lonely African-American pupil at the school. Amy Adams

also plays a young nun, who thinks she catches him in the act, al-

though somewhat resembling Audrey Hepburn in The Nun’s Story.

Vitally, because it’s a ‘Pulitzer-Prize winning play’, it says so much

about its roots in the theatre, and perhaps it should have stayed

there. While the camera is trying its best to try and have some filmic

credentials, it’s all too claustrophobic and staged. While the ideas are

there, I couldn’t help thinking I would have enjoyed this more in the

theatre. Still, if you want to see Meryl Streep give it some welly, look 

no further.

Ollie Sim

2/5

Doubt (15)

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Clint Eastwood brings a magnificent presence as a Korean War veter-

an as well as xenophobic crank. If this is the “last” Clint Eastwood per-

formance, you have to admit, it’s a great swansong to a persona that

has been mocked for yonks. Unlikely as it would be in any ordinary cir-

cumstance, we root for the old codger all the way. Why? Because he’s

Clint Eastwood, at probably his most meanest. However, his character 

is as much a variation on previous characters, with a certain twist.

Clint Eastwood plays Walt who has just lost his wife, and spends much

of his time guarding and protecting his territory. That is until an Asian

family move in next door and he instantly takes a disliking to them.

What is also a problem is that an Asian gang invade his neighbourhood

and are seen as a threat towards the next-door neighbours and him.

To start off, it is obviously a B-Movie. Clint Eastwood has always has

his roots in B-Movies (Play Misty for Me, The Eiger Sanction) before he

directed the well-known Westerns we know today. It’s because of his

roots of being a technician in B-Movies of the fifties and sixties, that

he has become such an accomplished director. What is evident in this

film, as with most of his other films, is that he never fusses and he al-

ways cuts the crap.

 

 Anyway, it is a vintage piece of work and it is sometimes a pleasure to

 see films that are thrilling without being in anyway pedantic. Clint East-

wood as a performer takes it on the chin and in the wrong hands could

have been the average drama/thriller that would have wafted by. What

is interesting with Gran Torino is that it mostly achieves an anti-violent

image. With a climax that tears away from ‘The Man With No Name

image, you come to appreciate where the film’s heart is; and that’s

completely in the right place.

Ollie Sim

4/5

Gran Torino (15)

Oh Steve Martin, what hast thou done to thy career? Seri-

ously, it is not funny anymore to see Steve Martin in grue-

  some slapstick comedies such as Bringing Down The

House and Cheaper by the Dozen. I start to worry now if 

it’s going to get any worse for Steve Martin. From my ex-

perience of seeing The Pink Panther 2, I seriously hope it

doesn’t.

 As if the first one wasn’t funny enough, this one is like a

pillow being pushed against your face (and no kids, I’m

not talking about bedtime). Hopefully people will have the

 sense of mind to take their kids elsewhere and the makerswill get the message. If your kids want to see The Pink Pan-

ther 2, then have them watch the trailer because the film

isn’t any different. You’ll be saving money as well. Alfred

Molina, John Cleese, Lily Tomlin and Jeremy Irons need to

fire their agents.

Ollie Sim

1/5

Pink Panther 2 (PG)

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30

By Tom Waller (Mens Captain)

On February 6th 2009, a team of fourteen

brave runners travelled the immense 550

miles via plane, train and automobile to

reach Aberdeen for the BUCS Cross Country 

(XC) championships. The journey was almost

brought to an abrupt halt only two hours out

of King Cross, when the organisational body 

BUCS thought it would be pertinent to can-

cel the event to the dismay of most of the

teams, who were either already in or travel-

ling to Scotland. In spite of this the majority 

of the University teams chose to continue

their journey and organise their very own in-ter-university social run and show BUCS how 

 XC should really be done.

 After a good night’s sleep, Team Surrey trav-

elled to Balgownie playing fields in what can

only be described as arctic conditions. There

was plenty of snow on the ground and some

in the sky, serving the purpose of making the

run more interesting and providing plenty of 

ammunition for an ensuing snow ball war.

Spearheading the organisation on the day 

were the Universities of Aberdeen and Bir-

mingham, who manage to plot an excellent

course, giving a taste of what the proposedBUCS course would have been like.

The run commenced with a barrage of snow-

balls (mostly thrown by Trung) with the front

runners taking off like gazelles and oth-

ers travelling at a much more social pace.

The course was extremely challenging with

a number of massive hills (think outside

of Channies), with deep snow and mud all

over the route providing plenty of opportu-

nities to sap some energy. Despite this, the

course was exceedingly enjoyable and the

huge university turnout created a fantastic

atmosphere.

The standard of runners at the event was

very high with future Olympic champions

present from the large elite university run-

ning clubs of St Marys, Birmingham and

Loughborough. However Surrey held its own,doing exceptionally well in the rankings; with

the men all finishing in the top 150 out of 

the 650 entries, and the ladies finishing in

the top 80 out of 400 entries, a massive

achievement for the club first year in spite

of a number of setbacks. Leading the men

home were Huw Margetts and Chris West

with times of 21:35 and 21:43 respectively,

while the ladies were bought by Anne Doyle

with an outstanding pace of 17:49 minutes.

In support with photographic and video cov-

erage of the race was Murat Badem who

also kindly volunteered to marshal part of 

the course to allow smooth operation of the

run.

6 km Mens Run

Runner Position Time

Huw Margetts 57 21:35 

Chris West 65 21:43

  Jack Cooper 125 25:0

David Williams 133 26:00

Thomas Waller 141 27:41

Trung Nguiyer Le 142 27:50

Oliver Deavin 147 30:00

Rob Greenwood* 148 30:41

4 km Ladies Run

Runner Position Time

  Anne Doyle 57 17

  Alex Gold 66 19

Rachael Openshaw 71 19:46 

  Adele Hug 76 22

The day’s festivities were followed by a nigh

of entertainment hosted by the University o

 Aberdeen at Liquid nightclub. A mass turn

out from all the running clubs, stilt and fire

dancers made for a memorable evening fo

all of those who attended.

It was a thoroughly enjoyable weekend fo

all those who attended and I would like to

wish congratulations to all those who ran

in what turned out to be a fantastic resulfor the club. I would also like to thank the

chairman David Williams for organising an

amazing weekend and to the

  secretary Solmaz Golchin fo

ensuring nothing went miss

ing.

If you are interested in doing

cross country or in running in

 general the University of Sur

rey Running Club holds regula

training sessions at Guildford

Spectrum on a Wednesday af

ternoon (which are completelFREE). The club welcomes

runners and joggers of a

abilities, for more information

about the club please visit sur

reyrunning.com or drop us an

email at

[email protected]

Organisational Body BUCS Up! 

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31

By Rob Harrison

Surrey Reserves overcame Royal Holloway Old

Boys 2-1 on Valentine’s Day in the top of the

table clash at the Varsity.

The game started at a very fast pace with

chances at both ends which was to be expect-

ed from two very competitive teams. Surrey put

their wide players to good use, Jason Alawo

had plenty of running to be done, along with

Nima Aase who put in 100% effort despite hav-

ing been out at Rubix the night before (that’s

for the benefit of Nima’s housemates whom he

had a no drinking bet with).

Twenty minutes in, Surrey struck first. Surrey’s

keeper launched a long ball up field, the twoHolloway centre backs both attempted to clear 

but due to a lack of communication neither did,

the ball bounced through nicely for centre for-

ward Jim Salmon who was suddenly through

on goal, he slipped the ball past the oncoming 

Holloway keeper with ease.

Surrey’s second came five minutes later. A free

kick clipped into the box was dealt with poor-

ly, again, by the Holloway defence. The ball

dropped to Georgi Slavchev, Surrey’s Bulgar-

ian brick wall, who fired into the roof of the net

to make it 2-0. Surrey looked confident at this

point, though Holloway are top of the league

for a reason, they showed their spirit by piling 

on the pressure for a ten minute period which

resulted in them pulling a goal back. A through

ball from the midfield found the Holloway 

number nine who was being tightly marked. He

 somehow stumbled through Surrey’s defenceand tucked the ball under Jon Creswick.

Surrey could have gone into halftime with a

  slightly more comfortable lead, however Jim

Salmon shot narrowly wide in a great coun

attack move. That was Jim Salmon’s (the U

versity’s top scorer) final act of the game, ha

ing to leave at half time to go on a date with h

 girlfriend. We are told it wasn’t really worth i

The second half was less eventful than t

first, Surrey put in a great defensive display

Holloway piled on the pressure. In the final t

minutes Surrey could have wrapped the gam

up having multiple chances and a disallow

 goal from Nick Boutal. It was a great perfor

ance by Surrey who have won every game

2009. Special mentions go to Slav, and Ste

‘Disco’ Cole, who put in great performances

defence.

Surrey Reserves Come Up Smelling of Roses

By Matt Head

Well it had been a couple of warm, dry,indulgent weeks off over Christmas, so

 some people were itching to do a spot of 

New Year’s diving. In typical USSAC style

it was an early start, meeting at the lockup

for 7.30 which is a frightfully uncivilised

hour for a Saturday morning. Despite the

fact that it was -5° and snowing, nobody 

had thought better of it and opted to stay 

in bed so we were off to a good start. After 

we picked up the kit from the lockup we

made a brisk run up to Wraysbury dive cen-

tre which is a 15 acre lake near to Staines.

When we arrived all the jokes we had been

making about having to break through the

ice to get in turned out to be pretty much

bang on the money and the entire lake was

frozen over, with up to an inch of ice cover-

ing the most part of it.

The Staff at the dive centre did not see this

as a problem and a handful of them suited

up and proceeded to smash up all the ice

at the side with hammers and clear most

of the shallow training platforms. Howev-

er, they did inform us that they had tried

to break the ice from underneath with a

 sledge hammer and couldn’t, thus advisedus to plan our dive ‘very very’ carefully.

To add to this they also mentioned how 

‘sharp’ the ice was, meaning we also had

to be careful with our equipment and dry 

 suits.

I was at this point fairly glad I wasn’t going 

in first, but three of our enthusiastic Ocean

Diver trainees on their first open water dive

 seemed to overlook the subzero tempera-

tures and couldn’t wait to get in (Even with

having to perform mask clearing!). After 

the shock of the freezing water wore off 

the novelty of diving under the ice was

quite fun and everyone present managed

to get in for at least two highly invigorating 

dives........and all came out again!

If you fancy hearing more interesting div-

ing stories and coming to get wet, contact

one of the below and we’ll organise a try 

dive for you!

 Adam S: Chairman -

[email protected] 

Mark H: Training officer –

[email protected] 

Ice Diving...

Got a sports article? 

Then email our sports

editors [email protected]

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By David Murton

Treasurer Surrey Rugby Football Club

On Wednesday 18th February 2009 the University of Surrey Rugby 

2nd Team played the best rugby to be seen in a long time, away to St.

Mary’s 3rd Team.

We went expecting quite possibly the hardest game of the season. The

 game began with St. Mary’s dominating, and on the most part this was

how it continued, with them having most of the ball inside our half.

However, Surrey were resilient, and refused St. Mary’s any line breaks,

making every tackle count, so that St. Mary’s rarely threatened the

try line. Special mention of Adam Double has to made here, with him

making more than his fair share of tackles, and we even saw our very 

own captain, Alex ‘Chunder’ Tsang, at scrumhalf making a couple of 

tackles himself for once. However, after about twenty minutes of Sur-

rey holding off St. Mary’s, we gave away a penalty within striking dis-

tance of our posts, which St. Mary’s happily sent sailing between the

uprights, to take a lead of 3-0. We then started on the offensive our-

 selves, and began to threaten to St. Mary’s with Nick Adebanjo making 

 some great scything runs from either great ball down the line, or from

near-perfect cross-field kicks from Sam Curtis. However this wasn’t

enough to allow us to cross the line, and soon enough St. Mary’s had

another penalty, which they took advantage of to take the score line to

6-0 going into halftime.

However the second half saw a change in Surrey. With the realisation

that we really could win this game, we started chasing every chance

that came our way. This eventually saw us inside St. Mary’s twenty-

two, and then Man of the Match, Sam Curtis, took his chance, send-

ing a beautiful grubber through the opposition line from 15 metres

out, only to collect it himself and to score just left of the posts, to the

wild jubilations of his team-mates. Matt Allen sent the kick over for the

extra 2, to take the score line to 7-6, and silencing the home crowd,

which was an added bonus for those of us that had travelled to the

 game. The game quickly settled back into the state of the first half of 

St. Mary’s with the ball, and Surrey making the tackles. Desperation

began to show, with the home team making ever more elaborate plays

in a hope of reclaiming the lead, but which led to many handling errors

and penalties being given away to Surrey, from which we made back 

our losses in field position due to Sam Curtis’s

boot. However the scariest moment for Surrey came when Dick of th

Day, and captain, Chunder sent a quick overhead throw back in field

nearly gifting St. Mary’s a try-scoring opportunity. Thankfully this wen

Surrey’s way and the danger was avoided.

  As time ticked away and the clock hit seventy minutes, Surrey wer

on the verge of winning, at which point St. Mary’s took the underhan

action of bringing on a star fly-half, obviously from one of there highe

ranked teams. As Surrey was pushed back close to their twenty-two

we saw the first of three drop-goals threaten the Surrey posts, whic

thankfully went to the left. However Surrey was not so lucky the nextime, and with only three minutes on the clock, they were somewha

deflated, but hoped to do the same in return to the home side afte

the restart. Sadly, this wasn’t to be Surrey’s day, and St. Mary’s mad

a resounding surge, to take another punt at a drop goal to try and ru

the salt in, but thankfully went wide.

The final score line of 9-7 to St. Mary’s was an incredible achievemen

but was felt to be an untrue reflection of Surrey’s performance on th

day. Next season we can but hope to make them regret this day.

 Surrey Spartians fight to the last 


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