+ All Categories
Home > Documents > The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to...

The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to...

Date post: 04-Jan-2016
Category:
Upload: margaret-hancock
View: 212 times
Download: 0 times
Share this document with a friend
Popular Tags:
62
The UC The UC Personal Personal Statement: Statement:
Transcript
Page 1: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

The UC The UC Personal Personal

Statement:Statement:

Page 2: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Personal StatementPersonal Statement

Don’t try to figure out what other Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. figure out what you have to say. It’s the one and only thing you It’s the one and only thing you have to offer.have to offer.

Barbara KingsolverBarbara Kingsolver

Page 3: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Developing an Image for the ReaderDeveloping an Image for the Reader

Page 4: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

April 28, 2015April 28, 2015

• For the next three days, we will be looking For the next three days, we will be looking at specifics provided by the University of at specifics provided by the University of California Chancellor’s Office provided to California Chancellor’s Office provided to counselors in a training session to assist counselors in a training session to assist students with personal statements.students with personal statements.

• You will be asked to do several tasks You will be asked to do several tasks through this training!through this training!

Page 5: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

• Is part of the comprehensive review process. Is part of the comprehensive review process.

• Helps readers now and understand the Helps readers now and understand the applicantsapplicants

• Adds clarity, depth and meaning to information Adds clarity, depth and meaning to information collected in other parts of the UC applicationcollected in other parts of the UC application

• Opportunity to provide information that supports Opportunity to provide information that supports and augments the review process.and augments the review process.

Why do universities require Why do universities require “The Personal Statement”“The Personal Statement”

Page 6: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

The Importance of the The Importance of the Personal StatementPersonal Statement

• The UC personal statement is your The UC personal statement is your chance to tell the University who you chance to tell the University who you are and what is important to you. are and what is important to you.

• Helps the reader to understand your Helps the reader to understand your accomplishments in context, your accomplishments in context, your achievements in context, your achievements in context, your obstacles and challenges in contextobstacles and challenges in context

Page 7: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Create a MosaicCreate a Mosaic

Get it down. Take chances. It may be bad, but it’s the only way you can do anything really good.- William Faulkner

Page 8: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

• View this as an opportunity. It is an opportunity to introduce View this as an opportunity. It is an opportunity to introduce yourself in your own words.yourself in your own words.

• Take Your Time!!Take Your Time!!

• Be open. Be reflective. Find your individual voice and express Be open. Be reflective. Find your individual voice and express it honestly.it honestly.

• UC’s are looking for evidence of your intellectual curiosity and UC’s are looking for evidence of your intellectual curiosity and your interest in personal development.your interest in personal development.

Purpose of the Personal Purpose of the Personal StatementStatement

Page 9: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

What does it do? What doesn’t it do?What does it do? What doesn’t it do?

• The application and the personal The application and the personal statement talk to each other and the statement talk to each other and the reader and together “they can dialogue” reader and together “they can dialogue” and “completes” the understanding of the and “completes” the understanding of the student.student.

• It does not repeat information already on It does not repeat information already on the application.the application.

Page 10: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

AdmonitionAdmonition

• If after the reader reads your personal If after the reader reads your personal statement and he or she does not know or statement and he or she does not know or understand you any better than after they understand you any better than after they read your application, then the statement read your application, then the statement has no value in the process.has no value in the process.

• Yvette Gullatt: In the end, we should now Yvette Gullatt: In the end, we should now that student better than we would with just that student better than we would with just the application alone.the application alone.

Page 11: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Questions the Reader Questions the Reader ConsidersConsiders

• What is important to this applicant?What is important to this applicant?

• What qualities/characteristics define this What qualities/characteristics define this applicant?applicant?

• Which of these qualities/characteristics is Which of these qualities/characteristics is most prominent? What distinguishes her?most prominent? What distinguishes her?

• Do these qualities appeal to you, the Do these qualities appeal to you, the reader? Why?reader? Why?

Page 12: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

A Message From UC A Message From UC FacultyFaculty

• While it is acceptable to receive feedback or While it is acceptable to receive feedback or helpful suggestions, applicants’ personal helpful suggestions, applicants’ personal statements statements should reflect their own ideas should reflect their own ideas andand be written by them alone.be written by them alone.

• Don’t let a parent write it for you!Don’t let a parent write it for you!

• We can tell if it’s not student work…We can tell if it’s not student work…

Page 13: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

InstructionsInstructions• There are two prompts. Students must respond to BOTH.There are two prompts. Students must respond to BOTH.This used to be true, but warning now the computerized This used to be true, but warning now the computerized

statement shuts down once you reach 1000 words!statement shuts down once you reach 1000 words! A maximum of 1,000 words total (1012 max)A maximum of 1,000 words total (1012 max) Question: Can you go over? NO! Question: Can you go over? NO! Why? If you are given constraints in the future you will Why? If you are given constraints in the future you will

be expected to stay in those constraints. For instance be expected to stay in those constraints. For instance imagine your superior explains to you that money is tight imagine your superior explains to you that money is tight this quarter, but you have to prepare for a conference. this quarter, but you have to prepare for a conference. She gives you a budget not to exceed $1000 to prepare She gives you a budget not to exceed $1000 to prepare materials for the conference. However, you spend more. materials for the conference. However, you spend more. Will your superior be pleased with your efforts?Will your superior be pleased with your efforts?

Page 14: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

InstructionsInstructions• There are two prompts. Students must respond to BOTH.There are two prompts. Students must respond to BOTH.

• Students respond to both questions.Students respond to both questions. A maximum of 1,000 words total (1012 max)A maximum of 1,000 words total (1012 max)

• Students choose length of each response.Students choose length of each response. If students choose to respond to one prompt at greater If students choose to respond to one prompt at greater

length, the shorter answer should be no less than 250 length, the shorter answer should be no less than 250 words. words.

Page 15: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Stop and DoStop and Do

• Read the UC Conference Prompt #1Read the UC Conference Prompt #1

• Then do the activity for this prompt.Then do the activity for this prompt.

Page 16: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Part I: Describe the world you come from Part I: Describe the world you come from —— for for example, your family, community example, your family, community oror school school ——

Part II: Part II: andand tell us how your world has shaped tell us how your world has shaped your your dreams and aspirations.dreams and aspirations.

Two Parts to Prompt #1Two Parts to Prompt #1

Page 17: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Part I: Describe the world you come from Part I: Describe the world you come from —— for for example, your family, community example, your family, community oror school school —— Part II: Part II: andand tell us how your world has shaped tell us how your world has shaped your your dreams and aspirations.dreams and aspirations.

• Notice the word “or” Pick one! You need a deep essay Notice the word “or” Pick one! You need a deep essay and not a superficial essay touching on three areas. and not a superficial essay touching on three areas.

• This is about you, so focus on the dreams and This is about you, so focus on the dreams and aspirations. Don’t get caught up describing Mead Valley, aspirations. Don’t get caught up describing Mead Valley, Moreno Valley, or Perris. Also realize that your room Moreno Valley, or Perris. Also realize that your room could be your world. could be your world.

• This prompt could read - “What are your dreams and This prompt could read - “What are your dreams and aspirations and what is aspirations and what is oneone thing that influenced them?” thing that influenced them?”

Prompt #1Prompt #1

Page 18: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Prompt 1 TipsPrompt 1 Tips• ““World" is a versatile term. What really makes up your "world"? Is it your World" is a versatile term. What really makes up your "world"? Is it your

team? The local animal shelter? Your grandmother's kitchen table? Your team? The local animal shelter? Your grandmother's kitchen table? Your church? The pages of a book? Someplace where your imagination likes to church? The pages of a book? Someplace where your imagination likes to wander?wander?

• Focus on "how." How has your world shaped you? How do you connect Focus on "how." How has your world shaped you? How do you connect your environment to your identity. Then project forward and imagine your your environment to your identity. Then project forward and imagine your future.future.

• Focus on you. You may have a brother with a disability who perseveres Focus on you. You may have a brother with a disability who perseveres through life and is an inspiration to you, but remember this is your through life and is an inspiration to you, but remember this is your application, not his.application, not his.

• Avoid the obvious. Thousands of students could write an essay about how Avoid the obvious. Thousands of students could write an essay about how their supportive parents helped them succeed. Make sure your essay is their supportive parents helped them succeed. Make sure your essay is about you and isn't something that thousands of other students could have about you and isn't something that thousands of other students could have written.written.

Page 19: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Stop and WatchStop and Watch

• Watch this short video from 2007 which Watch this short video from 2007 which addresses the prompts. Play from 11 addresses the prompts. Play from 11 minutes 39 seconds to 15 minutes 27 minutes 39 seconds to 15 minutes 27 seconds. TAKE NOTES!seconds. TAKE NOTES!

• https://youtu.be/6zo6NI4wHf4?t=11m39s

• How should I divide the word count How should I divide the word count between the 1000 words?between the 1000 words?

• Why do I need to write this?Why do I need to write this?

• What the prompt really asks?What the prompt really asks?

Page 20: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Prompt #2Prompt #2

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution accomplishment, contribution oror experience experience that is important to you. What about this quality that is important to you. What about this quality oror accomplishment accomplishment makes you proud makes you proud and how and how does it relate to does it relate to the person you arethe person you are??

• This prompt could read: “Who are you, and what one thing This prompt could read: “Who are you, and what one thing are you most proud of that exemplifies who you are are you most proud of that exemplifies who you are today?”today?”

Page 21: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

But…But…

• I have NO talents, NO I have NO talents, NO accomplishments, not accomplishments, not contributions, and NO contributions, and NO experiences! experiences!

Page 22: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Stop and DoStop and Do

• DESCRIBE YOUR DAYDESCRIBE YOUR DAY

• You may discover what you should use for You may discover what you should use for prompt 2 by seeing what you do every prompt 2 by seeing what you do every day!day!

Page 23: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Stop and WatchStop and Watch

• Watch this short video from 2007 which Watch this short video from 2007 which addresses the prompts. Play from 15 addresses the prompts. Play from 15 minutes 27 seconds to 16 minutes 58 minutes 27 seconds to 16 minutes 58 seconds. TAKE NOTES!seconds. TAKE NOTES!

• https://youtu.be/6zo6NI4wHf4?t=15m27s

• What could I possibly talk about because I What could I possibly talk about because I have not a single talent, accomplishment, have not a single talent, accomplishment, contribution, or experience?contribution, or experience?

• What the prompt really asks?What the prompt really asks?

Page 24: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

April 29, 2015April 29, 2015

I’m ready for college …. but I can’t

find my backpack

Page 25: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Prompt 2 TipsPrompt 2 Tips• Consider what makes you proud. Then determine the Consider what makes you proud. Then determine the

experience, quality, accomplishment, etc. That lead to experience, quality, accomplishment, etc. That lead to this.this.

• How has what you are writing about shaped you as an How has what you are writing about shaped you as an individual?individual?

• Negative experience is okay as long as it is not a Negative experience is okay as long as it is not a complaint or excuse and that something positive was complaint or excuse and that something positive was gained that you are proud of.gained that you are proud of.

• Write about something that is personally significant to Write about something that is personally significant to you, not just what you think sounds impressive.you, not just what you think sounds impressive.

Page 26: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Additional CommentsAdditional Comments• Use Additional Comments box for Use Additional Comments box for

clarification, expansion on important clarification, expansion on important details:details: Additional names/schools/transcript Additional names/schools/transcript

irregularityirregularity Visa issueVisa issue Additional exams taken or certificates earnedAdditional exams taken or certificates earned

This is NOT an extension of the Personal Statement.This is NOT an extension of the Personal Statement.

Page 27: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Stop and WatchStop and Watch

• Watch this short video from 2007 which Watch this short video from 2007 which addresses the comment box. Play from addresses the comment box. Play from 16 minutes 58 seconds to 18 minutes 48 16 minutes 58 seconds to 18 minutes 48 seconds. TAKE NOTES!seconds. TAKE NOTES!

• https://youtu.be/6zo6NI4wHf4?t=15m27s

• Do I need to fill this box?Do I need to fill this box?

• What really should go in this box?What really should go in this box?

Page 28: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

BrainstormBrainstorm

With your partner, create a visual organizer With your partner, create a visual organizer (OUTLINE, SPIDER MAP, STAIRCASE, ETC) (OUTLINE, SPIDER MAP, STAIRCASE, ETC) to answer:to answer:

•What are the steps to writing a personal What are the steps to writing a personal statement?statement?

Page 29: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

STEP ONE: GATHER INFORMATIONSTEP ONE: GATHER INFORMATION

• GATHER INFORMATIONGATHER INFORMATION

---grades, test scores, academic awards, ---grades, test scores, academic awards, extracurricular activities, community extracurricular activities, community service, participation in clubs or service, participation in clubs or organizations, hobbies/individual interests, organizations, hobbies/individual interests, employment, etc.employment, etc.

Page 30: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

STEP TWO: READ CRITICALLYSTEP TWO: READ CRITICALLY

• READ CRITICALLYREAD CRITICALLY

What interpretations can be made from this What interpretations can be made from this information?information?

What observations can be formed from this What observations can be formed from this information?information?

What questions can be asked from this What questions can be asked from this information?.information?.

Page 31: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

STEP THREE: DEVELOP TOPIC & STEP THREE: DEVELOP TOPIC & THESISTHESIS

• DEVELOP TOPIC and THESISDEVELOP TOPIC and THESIS

• Remember the topic is the subject about Remember the topic is the subject about which you will talk.which you will talk.

• Remember the thesis is a complete Remember the thesis is a complete sentence about your point of view sentence about your point of view regarding the importance of the subject in regarding the importance of the subject in relationship to you and your life, your relationship to you and your life, your goals, or your aspirations.goals, or your aspirations.

Page 32: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Stop and WatchStop and Watch

• Watch this short video from 2007 which Watch this short video from 2007 which addresses the comment box. Play from addresses the comment box. Play from 19 minutes 49 seconds to 20 minutes 33 19 minutes 49 seconds to 20 minutes 33 seconds. TAKE NOTES!seconds. TAKE NOTES!

• https://youtu.be/6zo6NI4wHf4?t=19m48s

• Why should I develop a topic when topics Why should I develop a topic when topics are already listed?are already listed?

Page 33: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

STEP 4: DRAFT, GET FEEDBACK, & STEP 4: DRAFT, GET FEEDBACK, & REVISEREVISE

• DRAFTDRAFT

• GET FEEDBACKGET FEEDBACK

• REVISEREVISE

Page 34: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Stop and WatchStop and Watch

• Watch this short video from 2007 which Watch this short video from 2007 which addresses the comment box. Play from addresses the comment box. Play from 20 minutes 34 seconds to 21 minutes 32 20 minutes 34 seconds to 21 minutes 32 seconds. TAKE NOTES!seconds. TAKE NOTES!

• https://youtu.be/6zo6NI4wHf4?t=20m34s

• Why should I know what the application Why should I know what the application asks for before I write my essay?asks for before I write my essay?

Page 35: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Moving to College Moving to College WritingWriting

Page 36: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

The Personal Statement is YOUR The Personal Statement is YOUR FIRST COLLEGE WRITING FIRST COLLEGE WRITING

ASSIGNMENTASSIGNMENTCOLLEGE PERSONAL STATEMENT

• UNKNOWN AUDIENCEStudents write for a community of

scholars.

• UNKNOWN AUDIENCE

• WRITER-DETERMINED TOPICSStudents choose the topics

• WRITER-DETERMINED TOPICS

• DIG DEEPERAnalysis and Reflection are KEY

• ANALYTICAL & REFLECTIVE RESPONSE

Page 37: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Stop and WatchStop and Watch

• Watch this short video from 2007 which Watch this short video from 2007 which addresses the comment box. Play from addresses the comment box. Play from 21 minutes 34 seconds to 24 minutes 08 21 minutes 34 seconds to 24 minutes 08 seconds. TAKE NOTES!seconds. TAKE NOTES!

• https://youtu.be/6zo6NI4wHf4?t=20m34s

• What are some of the parallels to college What are some of the parallels to college writing?writing?

Page 38: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Important StrategiesImportant Strategies

• Students are encouraged to write Students are encouraged to write about special circumstances that about special circumstances that have influenced their educational have influenced their educational experiences.experiences.

Learning and/or physical challengesLearning and/or physical challenges who they are and how they developedwho they are and how they developed Small or alternative learning environmentsSmall or alternative learning environments

Page 39: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Important StrategiesImportant Strategies

• Read critically and write Read critically and write analytically.analytically.

Think like an admissions reader by capitalizing on the Think like an admissions reader by capitalizing on the relationship between readers and writers. relationship between readers and writers.

Page 40: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Important StrategiesImportant Strategies• VERY IMPORTANT: Use a

writing processBrainstormingDraftingRevising for clarity, organization,

meaning, and proof-reading.

• Get good feedback

Page 41: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

THINK LIKE AN ADMISSIONS THINK LIKE AN ADMISSIONS READERREADER

• All readers have expectations of writers, All readers have expectations of writers, revealed in readers’ questions, observations, revealed in readers’ questions, observations, and interpretations of the application.and interpretations of the application.

• Writers fulfill readers’ expectations by Writers fulfill readers’ expectations by addressing these questions, observations and addressing these questions, observations and interpretations in the personal statement.interpretations in the personal statement.

• Writers can anticipate readers’ expectations by Writers can anticipate readers’ expectations by completing and critically reading their completing and critically reading their applications prior to writing a personal applications prior to writing a personal statement.statement.

Page 42: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Critical Reading and Analytical Critical Reading and Analytical WritingWriting

• Level one:Level one:

• FactsFacts

• Level two: Level two: InterpretationsInterpretations

• Level three: Level three: Meaning and Meaning and SignificanceSignificance

• Answers to L1 questions Answers to L1 questions provide details in provide details in paragraphs.paragraphs.

• Answers to L2 questions Answers to L2 questions are topic sentences of are topic sentences of paragraphs.paragraphs.

• Answers to L3 questions Answers to L3 questions are thesis statements of are thesis statements of essays (define theme) essays (define theme)

Page 43: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

STOP and DOSTOP and DO

5 MINUTES•Case Study Part II - Student Profile•Use the Levels of Questions strategy with this profile

What data do you find? What patterns do you see? What questions would you ask? What inferences would you draw? How well does the essay align with the profile?

•How would you advise this student to proceed?

Page 44: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Discussion QuestionsDiscussion Questions

• What facts did you learn about Julia Cho?What facts did you learn about Julia Cho?

• What are some areas left for What are some areas left for interpretation?interpretation?

• What questions arise when you read her What questions arise when you read her transcript?transcript?

• Does the essay answer those questions?Does the essay answer those questions?

• What areas could she focus on as she What areas could she focus on as she rewrites her essay?rewrites her essay?

Page 45: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

April 30, 2015April 30, 2015

Page 46: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Think Like an Admissions Think Like an Admissions ReaderReader

• Readers are friendly professionals who want to admit Readers are friendly professionals who want to admit you.you.

• Readers are looking for answers to questions they have Readers are looking for answers to questions they have regarding the application.regarding the application.

• Readers are seasoned professionals who can spot Readers are seasoned professionals who can spot baloney.baloney.

• Readers know nothing about you except what’s on your Readers know nothing about you except what’s on your application. application.

• Remember you do not know your readers, so steer clear Remember you do not know your readers, so steer clear of divisive issues such as social issues, religion and of divisive issues such as social issues, religion and politics.politics.

Page 47: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Writing ProcessWriting Process• Read the application critically using levels of Read the application critically using levels of

questionsquestions• DraftDraft• Get feedback – give readers 3-5 days to respondGet feedback – give readers 3-5 days to respond• Revise for organization, clarity and meaning. Revise for organization, clarity and meaning.

Revision means to re-”see”Revision means to re-”see”This means do not turn the same essay back to This means do not turn the same essay back to

your readers.your readers.• Proofread.Proofread.

Page 48: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

The Teacher’s Role The Teacher’s Role

My goal is to help youMy goal is to help you Understand the role of the personal Understand the role of the personal statement in the admissions process – it is statement in the admissions process – it is an opportunity for readers to learn more an opportunity for readers to learn more about you.about you. Recognize the relationship between Recognize the relationship between reader and writerreader and writer

Page 49: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

The Teacher’s Role The Teacher’s Role

My goal is to help youMy goal is to help you Understand the reading and writing tasks Understand the reading and writing tasks of the personal statementof the personal statement Use a writing processUse a writing process Obtain feedbackObtain feedback

Page 50: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

What feedback should you What feedback should you receive?receive?

• First, you should give your readers a paper copy of First, you should give your readers a paper copy of your application and the personal statement, so they your application and the personal statement, so they can see the dialogue between the two documents.can see the dialogue between the two documents.

• Second, you should give your readers a specific set of Second, you should give your readers a specific set of questions you would like the reader to answer.questions you would like the reader to answer.

• Third, you should find readers who resemble your Third, you should find readers who resemble your target audience (Educated Scholarly Strangers)target audience (Educated Scholarly Strangers)

Ask them to comment on ideas and the level of Ask them to comment on ideas and the level of persuasiveness, not on your grammar.persuasiveness, not on your grammar.

Page 51: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Important StrategiesImportant Strategies

• Answer the prompt!!Answer the prompt!!

• Avoid the list.Avoid the list.

• Balance pride and humility. Don’t make excuses.Balance pride and humility. Don’t make excuses.

• Reveal your character.Reveal your character.

• Get good feedback.Get good feedback.

Page 52: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Be PersuasiveBe Persuasive• Present your information and ideas in a Present your information and ideas in a

focused, deliberate and meaningful focused, deliberate and meaningful manner. Provide specific, concrete manner. Provide specific, concrete examples to support your point. examples to support your point.

• Your job is to persuade the reader that you Your job is to persuade the reader that you are a creative, ambitious, and unique are a creative, ambitious, and unique individual who will contribute to the individual who will contribute to the intellectual vitality and cultural life on intellectual vitality and cultural life on campus.campus.

Page 53: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

TipsTips

• Don’t try to impress. Be sincere and write Don’t try to impress. Be sincere and write in your voice. in your voice.

• Write to create and share the emotions of Write to create and share the emotions of your passionyour passion

• Embrace this opportunity for the readers to Embrace this opportunity for the readers to “meet” you. You want them to feel as “meet” you. You want them to feel as though they know you.though they know you.

Page 54: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

CautionCaution

• No sarcasmNo sarcasm

• Don’t use offensive languageDon’t use offensive language

• Be careful with humor Be careful with humor

• Avoid being “cute” or “perky”Avoid being “cute” or “perky”

• Don’t write about another person! Don’t write about another person!

• Remember humility is much more pleasant Remember humility is much more pleasant that hubris.that hubris.

Page 55: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Common PitfallsCommon PitfallsFLUFFFLUFF

Theater did not come naturally to me, and I felt remarkably self-conscious and nervous the first few times I set foot on stage in the eighth grade. My best friend had talked me into auditioning for Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.

I have to admit that theater did not come naturally to me, and I remember that felt remarkably self-conscious and nervous the first few times I set foot on stage. The first time I was on stage was in the eighth grade when my best friend talked me into auditioning for our school’s performance of the play Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare.

BetterBetter

The length of your essay is limited and you want The length of your essay is limited and you want your words to be impactful, not filler.your words to be impactful, not filler.

Page 56: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Common PitfallsCommon PitfallsVagueVague

Not only do I find basketball fun, but the sport has helped me develop my leadership and communication skills, as well as my ability to work with a team. As a result, my love of basketball will make me a better business major.

I like a lot of things about basketball. For one, the activity allows me to develop abilities that will help me in my future endeavors.

BetterBetter

Avoid words like “stuff”, “things”, “aspects”, “society”, Avoid words like “stuff”, “things”, “aspects”, “society”, etc.. They leave the reader guessing. Your essay etc.. They leave the reader guessing. Your essay should answer questions, not create them.should answer questions, not create them.

Page 57: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Common PitfallsCommon PitfallsClichésClichés

Throughout high school, I have tried to emulate my brother. He takes his responsibilities seriously, yet he is generous when dealing with the shortcomings of others. This combination of reliability and graciousness makes others turn to him for leadership. My own successes in high school are due largely to my brother's example.

My brother is one in a million. If given a responsibility, he never falls asleep at the wheel. When others fail, he is not one to make a mountain out of a molehill. To make a long story short, throughout high school I have tried to emulate my older brother and I credit him with many of my own successes.

BetterBetter

Clichés diminish the essay's message and reveal Clichés diminish the essay's message and reveal the author's lack of creativity.the author's lack of creativity.

Page 58: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Common PitfallsCommon PitfallsVerboseVerbose

The game was close. I won't receive credit for our win, but I did pass the ball to my teammate who scored the winning goal. He shot the ball through the narrow space between the goalie's hands and the upper corner of the goal post.

The game was spectacularly wonderful. I didn’t score the defining goal, but I did manage dexterously to pass the ball to my amazingly talented teammate who adroitly kicked it between the goalie’s desperately reaching fingers and the rigid frame of the right-hand corner of the goal.

BetterBetter

Strong verbs, not adjectives and adverbs, make your essay Strong verbs, not adjectives and adverbs, make your essay come to life. Two or three adjectives or adverbs in every come to life. Two or three adjectives or adverbs in every sentence, are indications of an immature writer who is trying sentence, are indications of an immature writer who is trying too hard to impress the reader.too hard to impress the reader.

Page 59: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Did you answer questions Did you answer questions or create questions?or create questions?

• Review your applicationReview your application• Read your statementRead your statement• Did you create more questions?Did you create more questions?• Did you answer questions?Did you answer questions?• Did you show a theme?Did you show a theme?

Page 60: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Always keep in mind…Always keep in mind…• The readers will know nothing about you except what The readers will know nothing about you except what

they will get from your application and your personal they will get from your application and your personal statement.statement.

• It is critical that you read, and reread, your own writing It is critical that you read, and reread, your own writing then ask multiple people for feedback.then ask multiple people for feedback.

• DO NOT attempt to write a story intended to make the DO NOT attempt to write a story intended to make the reader feel bad for you. Your goal should not be to try reader feel bad for you. Your goal should not be to try and gain admissions through pity. Mainly because it will and gain admissions through pity. Mainly because it will not work. Your goal is to give the application reviewer not work. Your goal is to give the application reviewer concrete reasons for why they should accept you into concrete reasons for why they should accept you into their university.their university.

Page 61: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Last Thing (from UCI)Last Thing (from UCI)• Don't stress out trying to write the ultimate Don't stress out trying to write the ultimate

personal statement. There is no single right way personal statement. There is no single right way to write a personal statement that will guarantee to write a personal statement that will guarantee your acceptance into a university. There is only your acceptance into a university. There is only the best personal statement you can write for the best personal statement you can write for yourself. As long as your personal statement yourself. As long as your personal statement gives a clear and accurate representation of who gives a clear and accurate representation of who you are as a person, then you've accomplished you are as a person, then you've accomplished your task. That is the best personal statement your task. That is the best personal statement you can write.you can write.

Page 62: The UC Personal Statement:. Personal Statement Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s.

Great UC Student Great UC Student PresenterPresenter

• https://youtu.be/SPuemBcZECA?t=6m6shttps://youtu.be/SPuemBcZECA?t=6m6s


Recommended