Through

the Eyes

of a Childjeffrey robert lewis

O T I S P R E S S

COPYRIGHT © 2013

In memory of BA Rudolph,who taught me the value (and fun) of laughing at myself

and Fred Rogers for allowing me to be part of his neighborhood

Dedication

This book is dedicated to Teresa Heinz and Marge Petruskafor their incredible dedication and advocacy on behalf of

children in Pennsylvania and across America

Vance Hecimovich for his courage

Alisa Giannamore for reminding me every dayabout the importance of caring

and Eve and the Summerettes

Why this book?

In a world where men are not accustomed to sharing their feelings or exposing their souls, my goal has always been to open my heart and demonstrate that not all men are shy, closed off or cowards. It has had its risks, but the rewards far outweigh the danger.

Courage is not defined solely by the words we write, but rather our willingness to share, discuss and dissect them.

In my lifetime, I have sought and continue to seek ways to effectively communicate to those who touched my heart in unimaginable ways.

Through the Eyes of a Child is a collection of poems based on discussions with adults about their children, and sometimes with children about their mothers or fathers. It is supplemented with a piece from me to those who have parented me at one point or another in my life, as well as to those who have no children of their own but who have taken a community under their wing.

It is one man’s way of honoring their innermost thoughts, fears and triumphs along with reminding them how their love has helped shape the community around them. There are no secret meanings buried in the stories told or the words used.

In each case, every poem opens the kimono a little wider. It exposes the inner soul of an author willing to open up for friends, family, colleagues and others to understand that one door slammed should never be the end, rather, the beginning to another door opening.

Throughout our lives, each of us has found ourselves clinging to words, truths, dreams and fairytales. We fight our fears, our suspicions and our lonely hearts. In the end, the one thing that is constant are the words and thoughts shared – those spoken and those discussed and shared.

Those memories are seared in our hearts and become part of the fabric of who we are – of who I am.

Jeffrey Robert Lewis (jeffreyrobertlewis@gmail.com)

Through

the Eyes

of a Childjeffrey robert lewis

Through Jack's Eyes

A giant walks into my room and his booming voice echoes against all four walls

He slowly picks me up

Gives me a hug – the kind you remember and long for the rest of your life

His hands are strong

While he gives me a morning kiss he slowly, methodically, begins the sniff dance

We both know what this is really about – he wants to know – “did I poop?”

But then I wait for the truly heavenly part: will he offer me a back scratchie?

I grew up playing with my dad – I never grew tired of simply being with him

We played the game of strength

He pretended to fall down when I pushed him

It was never about the game

For me, I just devoured my time with my dad r

My father is an extraordinary person, a very gentle individual where love and life are intertwined and embody his spirit every day

He is defined by who he is – not who others want him to be

His strength is in his soul, his heart, every day

He learned that from his dad – and I am learning from him every day

When he married my mom, love was truly redefined

When I am in mom’s arms and my father approaches, a quiet begins to surround the room

It’s as if the world truly stops

And, it really does

My mom makes my dad’s heart melt

And when he looks at her – I know he is melting inside, too

My dad is not afraid

He embraces life, its challenges and its enormity

It is that unique, distinguishing part of a person’s soul that wraps around you like a warm, comfortable blanket of love

I go to sleep every night knowing there is an angel in my life

He is my dad

I am learning from him that in life, sometimes love is not defined by words,

But a look,

The warmth of a smile,

A simple touch,

Or a sniff

`Pappy D with Love, Chase and Max

Fathers and daughters have a very special bond

They go through life caring for their little girls with forever hugs

Smiles that sear your heart

And limitless love for their grandchildren

Pappy D just loved our mom

He never judged her, never questioned her decisions – he just loved her

And mom just loves us in the same way

Our Pappy D was a real American

An artist with a welding torch

A dedicated man to his community and

A simply amazing grandfather r

His words constantly spoke kindness

“Now remember, you treat others as you want to be treated, but they’re more than just words. Remember that.”

His acts always demonstrated a greater love of community

There was nothing selfish about him

Pappy D was the personification of old-fashioned honesty

The kind that politicians used to exude

When he spoke it was always from his heart

His community was part of his larger family

He gave because he wanted to – never out of obligation

A simple man with a smile that filled a room

A heart full of incredible patience and endless forgiveness

And his yes always told us a story of love

With Pappy D, it was not about the words he said; it was that very special hug

The kind where you think he is squeezing everything out of you

Until you realized how much you ached for one more

Our mom is the personification of Pappy D

He instilled in her the qualities that made him so special – and her so singularly special to us

Every day, we inhale every possible moment of our time with Pappy D

And then exhale, and start again

Pappy D taught us that a life that gives to others goes on forever

And for us, our mom is forever

Standing in Line

My dad travels, endlessly

Every day it’s a new zip code – every night a different hotel bed

What sounded like fun, really seems like its own prison cell on wheels

We talk every day and sometimes video conference

I love technology, but I love my dad more

There are days my dad is simply a memory

My dad has a suitcase that travels with him everywhere

It’s tattered, worn, bruised. I worry someday my dad will be that suitcase

He arrives home with a smile

We read books together

For me the wheels on the bus never go round and round enough

And saying goodnight to the moon is never adequate r

He falls asleep reading to me

I kiss him and hug him like there is no tomorrow

Because I know tomorrow means another airplane, another hotel, another phone call

Someday, I hope I can move up from the back of the line

To Mom with Love, Vance

I awaken every day to a smile that lights up my life and a voice

That sings in my heart

She has been my inspiration through moments of darkness,

My warmth when the dark side of a migraine invaded my very being

She read me stories of a world I never thought possible; or a freedom from fear I never thought I could attain

I live in a world where Smoke is everywhere: thick, black and blinding

There are many days when I struggle to find my way

Choking back the tears that sting my eyes

That sear my soul, forever r

I live in a world where Darkness surrounds me and yet I am more determined than ever to find the light

Exhausted, frustrated saddened at times, but always determined

I will not back down – I will never give up

My mom instilled in me the belief that I can; that I will beat my disability

As early as the third grade I remember the thick smoke, the tireless nights to understand, the desire to just be

The smoke made everything harder to navigate and nearly impossible to find my way out

It surrounded me and sought to embrace my very being

It challenged my brain to work harder to see through it, and sometimes it was so thick I thought it would never clear

Living with a learning disability is like fighting your way through a fire

Every day is a battle

Every day is a fight against the smoke and its darkness in search of the light

A learning disability never ends; it is ongoing throughout your life

And with my mom in my corner, I have the best anyone could ever hope for

My mom will always be the wheels on my fire truck

Lionheart

He is a quiet, gentle person

A man who built a world around me to protect, educate and care for me

His strength is never obvious

He is shy and never truly relaxed

This father silently struggles with the constant fear of flying

That fear envelopes his entire persona, but he never lets it stop his family from enjoying the life he cannot

I saw the world because of him

Memories tucked away in my heart

His gentleness became my exhilarating energy

The bones of my thoughts often reflect the wisdom I gained from the scraps of his words

He taught me to be an artist, to create beauty through words r

I recognize my own weaknesses

And look at life’s uncertainties without anxiety or apprehension

I am filled with endless determination

With the strength of every man’s quiet wisdom

He is a Lionheart

Untouched by fear of sharing

From opening his heart and exposing his own humanity

He walks alongside me every day

Nestled away as a reminder of who I am and why

The Unspoken Words of a Child: To my Auntie Mindela

Every day I imagine waking up to your endless smile,

An incredible hug

As you breathe life into my bones and love into my heart

I know I will soar because you believe in me

You will never know how much you enriched my life

Memories that will last forever

I hold my breath hoping you are not a dream

And I blink and you’re still there

You became my escape without ever knowing it and today you still protect me from the walls crashing around me

My childhood was filled with adventure

From understanding the importance of art, the proper way to scramble an egg or hold a golf club r

You gave me the power to dream, to create, and ultimately, ascend way beyond myself

Most important, you believed in me – and taught me the power of one

You allowed me to be me

Never judging me – always encouraging

There has to be someone like you in every kid’s corner – you have always been in mine

You gave from your heart and listened intently

I feel safe when you are near me

And, every day I worry, “Will you still be here tomorrow?”

To Lucy with Love, Ryan

My mother is a true treasure

A gift of love, understanding and human vulnerability

Words often don’t describe her incredible beauty – she has the soul of an angel, the heart of a lion and her presence fills every void

She is inspirational

Encourages me and

Wraps me in endless love, a memory that will never end.

Lucy never judged me;

She pushed me with a gentle hand, guided me like an artist, and talked to me as a tutor, teacher, friend and parent

Illness never deterred her

She used it to strengthen her resolve, teaching me the importance of optimism and hope

To conquer fear by facing it – no matter how horrible

Her strength fueled my passion for life and love r

She taught me that words can nourish your soul

That prayer can embrace your very being

You must look at the world through the eyes of a mother

To truly understand life, love, patience and forgiveness

I grew up never wanting, never needing, never…anything

Lucy gave me something you cannot measure: unimaginable love

Endless, boundless – every day

While I owe her my success – I also owe her my life

She is the spirit inside me

Mom, I will love you forever

My Dad Through a Screen Shot,

Love Michael

I grew up in a world of fantasy, imagination and incredible love

My father is an artist with words

He taught us that we had the tools to build, create and imagine

The outdoors became more than a playground; it was a time when my father was with us, I lived for that small part of the day – that moment when we were together

And that fantasy world that we created together; our most involved time together

Grant always engaged my imagination

We built a fantasy world together that was better than any video game or television show

We played endless games from roughhousing to running outside to creating with blocks and Legos

Even pillows became a means of constructing something larger than life r

My father always encouraged me to taste the words of others

And he read to me so I could hear the words of great authors

These words could come to life listening to him explain how and why

His words painted a picture I would always remember

The way he read, the words he used, the expressions on his face or the inflections in his voice brought the story to life

The gruff way he read in Hagrid’s tongue: I would close my eyes and see this giant of a man, with a head of hair more shocking than Chaka Khan, and then feel the gentleness of his oversized hands, all through my father’s voice

We’d sit on the couch with my sister; he’d calm us down and pick up from where we’d left off the previous night

Those nights on that couch in my parents’ bedroom were the times when he, my sister and I were closest and in greatest harmony with each other

I remember walking with him into the woods behind our first home and we find an old rope swing

It’s fall: the ground is an autumnal carpet crunching beneath our feet as he tests the rope

It holds, so he swings me

To this day, I remember the sun leaking between the bare tree branches.

This was the first time I really remember feeling alive

I grew up listening to the sound of my father creating music; he was a virtuoso on a computer keyboard

At night, he would work in my room where I would listen to his fingers tap, tap, tapping on the keyboard

The rain knocking on the window desperate to be noticed

Me, caught somewhere between conscious and unconscious, enjoy-ing the sound of his fingers composing another great score in the form of a speech

Me, simply enjoying having my dad with me

My dad is the man I want to be, and at the same time, I want to be even more

He gave me that gift of always wanting more

He breathes life into me with a hug and I simply want more

His strength fueled my passion for life and love

In my lifetime, I have sought and continue to seek ways to effectively communicate to those who touched my heart in unimaginable ways.

For me, I have never wanted life to stand still like a waltz frozenin time. I hope these words unthaw a part of you.

Jeffrey Robert Lewis

100% of the proceeds from this

book will be donated to the

Navy Seal Foundation

O T I S P R E S S