Today. April Fools Day Issue, 1999. Student newspaper of the Black Hills State University.
4
In a shocking revelation last week, the Board of Regents announced that Black Hills State University and South Dakota School of Mines and Technology will switch campus- es. In addition, the new BHSU campus will enforce a dress code to set them apart from the other colleges in Rapid City. This decision was based on recent reports suggest that male dominant schools need to be tucked away into smaller towns, and co-educational schools need to be put into the middle of the city, where they can have interaction with oth- ers. For Tech, the change should bring about better studying habits, fewer fights with other teams at sports events, and jobs more suited to the needs of those in school. What that means for BH students is more communication with the outside world, more bars and clubs, a bigger mall, more jobs, and more places to live (such as fraternity houses). Many students from other Rapid City schools think that the change should have been implemented long before now. “I think that Tech should move where they can have more time for studying the mines, isn’t that what they do?” said Western Dakota Tech junior, Nicole Benson. “They should have been put into the mountains a long time ago.” “It’s a really good idea. I am surprised that someone did not think of this sooner. They [Tech students] should be secluded, they have a lot more homework than us and need more time to do it,” said freshman Ben Time, of National American College. The BOR stated that there was no scientific basis for the dress code idea, but wanted to set BHSU students apart from students at Western Dakota Tech and National American University. “We not only wanted BH to have a change in scenery,” said BOR representative Todd Peters, “but we really wanted to make an impact on Rapid City. The dress code just seemed like the way to do that.” Black Hills state students seem in favor of the move as well, but disagree with the idea of having a dress code in Rapid City. “If the school was moved to Rapid, it would really help us out. Not only that, but Rapid is more fun,” said freshman Jamie Bog, “I don’t feel that we should have to wear uniforms though. That’s just not right.” “The dress code is not something that BH students will accept without a fight,” stated Student Senate member, Mary Harris, “The BOR may be able to move us, but we won’t dress how they tell us to.” As for what the Tech students thought about the move, “I think it sucks,” said freshman Brad Carley. “There are no women in Spearfish. What am I gonna do, change my major so I can stay where the women are?” •• How to contact us: BHSU Today, 1200 University USB 9003, Spearfish,SD 57799-9003 •• Phone: (605) 642-6389 •• Fax: (605) 642-6119 •• E-mail: [email protected] •• VOLUME 99, NO 13 SPEARFISH, SOUTH DAKOTA April 1, 1999 Black Hills State University Non-profit Organization U.S. Postage PAID Spearfish, SD Permit Number 58 April Fools April Fools FBI investigates student senate The student senate was shut-down late Monday afternoon when federal agents raided the Multi-Purpose Room during the senate session. Authorities arrested six senate mem- bers including president Cory “Angelo,” and charged the members with loansharking, gambling, and skimming milk money. The six are jailed in Spearfish and awaiting bail. The F.B.I. investigation started three weeks ago when a disgruntled second grad- er complained to his mother about a group of yuppie-looking college kids, who were stealing his milk money in return for protec- tion. The angry mother called Otto Berman the school's principle. “I was sitting at my desk when the phone rang,” said Berman, “ It was this lady yelling and screaming about her son’s milk money. I knew it was serious so I called the F.B.I.” The F.B.I. began a probe tying the stu- dent senate to the scheme. Nick Licata, investigating agent said, “We put surveillance cameras around the playground and caught them skimming moo-juice money from kids.” This was just touching the surface and we had to investigate deeper to find the truth, Licata added. Mustache Max, an undercover agent, infiltrated the student senate disguised him- self as a seat. “I talk a little bit to Angelo,” said Max, “He likes me and so he gives me a seat.” With Mustache Max deep inside the senate and acting as Angelo's right hand man, Max could easily gather information about the illicit activities by wearing a hid- den camera in his pocket protector. The student senate was loansharking money to college student at credit card rates. Carlos Marcello, a sophomore student said, “I needed some beer money, so I went to the student senate for a loan. I didn’t have to fill out any application I was instantly approved.” The student senate was also involved in illegal gambling all the way from high school flag football to lumber jacking con- tests on ESPN2. “The hell with canoe trips and comput- er lab hours,” said BH student, John Doe. “ I spend my government money betting on horses and drinking whiskey." The senate was frustrated about the lack of funds on campus and decided to create some. Cory “Angelo” said, “I asked the school, I asked the state. Where's the money? So I get my own.” BH and Tech to switch campuses Tom Schafer Fast Facts Editor Terresah Hall Arts & Entertainment Editor A dress code also in the works for the new Rapid City campus TODAY photo by Jessica Boetel Above is an example of the proposed dress code for the Rapid City BH campus. Audit finds millions of dollars stashed in university budget An audit of Black Hills State University by the Legislative Audit Office in Pierre revealed that the universi- ty and alumni foundation have $13 million in surplus in dif- fering accounts campus-wide. The audit performed last summer by the state agency was done at the request of the BHSU Student Senate in an attempt to understand the budgeting process at the University. The BHSU Foundation, which owns the President's home and is the major contributor to the university, was the main channel to hide the surplus funds. Any monies left in student organization, copier fund, food service and other university accounts at the end of the fiscal year were donat- ed to the foundation as a maintenance and repair “gift” to help offset costs for upkeep of the President's home. The money was then funneled back into university accounts as donations from the foundation. Because of fed- eral laws restricting the amount of money that can be donat- ed to a public university, the foundation was forced to make “a lot of little donations to different university departments,” according to Steve Meeker, BHSU Foundation Director. “I don't think there is anything illegal with what we did,” Meeker said. “We are keeping more of the dollars in the university system, rather than putting them in the state- wide budget.” BHSU Student Senator Ellery Grey disagreed. “They keep increasing our tuition and fees when they have all this money left over,” said Grey. “The money that is in these accounts will have to be budgeted within the next fiscal year or it will revert to the state general fund to be reappropriated in other areas,” said State Auditor Vern Larson. “This could be a real windfall for some university programs if they wish to keep the money on campus.” According to Vice President of Finance Tom Anderson, the money will be used for the construction of a greyhound racing track, funding a croquet team and big raises for administration. “It is important that the students see where their money is going,” Anderson said. “I think they will really get behind us spending the money in these places; these are important projects that serve all the students on campus.” “It took a long time to get to the point they are at right now,” said Meeker. “There were a lot of occasions where it was a donation of $100 or less.” Max Wetz Assistant Editor
Transcript
In a shocking revelation last week, the Board of Regentsannounced that Black Hills State University and SouthDakota School of Mines and Technology will switch campus-es. In addition, the new BHSU campus will enforce a dresscode to set them apart from the other colleges in Rapid City.
This decision was based on recent reports suggest thatmale dominant schools need to be tucked away into smallertowns, and co-educational schools need to be put into themiddle of the city, where they can have interaction with oth-ers.
For Tech, the change should bring about better studyinghabits, fewer fights with other teams at sports events, and jobsmore suited to the needs of those in school.
What that means for BH students is more communicationwith the outside world, more bars and clubs, a bigger mall,more jobs, and more places to live (such as fraternity houses).
Many students from other Rapid City schools think thatthe change should have been implemented long before now.
“I think that Tech should move where they can have moretime for studying the mines, isn’t that what they do?” saidWestern Dakota Tech junior, Nicole Benson. “They should
have been put into the mountains a long time ago.” “It’s a really good idea. I am surprised that someone did
not think of this sooner. They [Tech students] should besecluded, they have a lot more homework than us and needmore time to do it,” said freshman Ben Time, of NationalAmerican College.
The BOR stated that there was no scientific basis for thedress code idea, but wanted to set BHSU students apart fromstudents at Western Dakota Tech and National AmericanUniversity.
“We not only wanted BH to have a change in scenery,”said BOR representative Todd Peters, “but we really wantedto make an impact on Rapid City. The dress code just seemedlike the way to do that.”
Black Hills state students seem in favor of the move aswell, but disagree with the idea of having a dress code inRapid City.
“If the school was moved to Rapid, it would really helpus out. Not only that, but Rapid is more fun,” said freshmanJamie Bog, “I don’t feel that we should have to wear uniformsthough. That’s just not right.”
“The dress code is not something that BH students willaccept without a fight,” stated Student Senate member, MaryHarris, “The BOR may be able to move us, but we won’tdress how they tell us to.”
As for what the Tech students thought about the move, “Ithink it sucks,” said freshman Brad Carley. “There are nowomen in Spearfish. What am I gonna do, change my majorso I can stay where the women are?”
•• How to contact us: BHSU Today, 1200 University USB 9003, Spearfish,SD 57799-9003 •• Phone: (605) 642-6389 •• Fax: (605) 642-6119 •• E-mail: [email protected] ••
VOLUME 99 , NO 13 SPEARFISH, SOUTH DAKOTA Apr i l 1 , 1999
BBllaacckk HH ii ll ll ss SS tt aa tt ee UU nn ii vv ee rr ss ii tt yy Non-profit Organization
U.S. Postage PAID
Spearfish, SD
Permit Number 58
AA pp rr ii ll FF oooo ll ssAA pp rr ii ll FF oooo ll ss
FBI investigates student senateThe student senate was shut-down late
Monday afternoon when federal agentsraided the Multi-Purpose Room during thesenate session.
Authorities arrested six senate mem-bers including president Cory “Angelo,” andcharged the members with loansharking,gambling, and skimming milk money. Thesix are jailed in Spearfish and awaiting bail.
The F.B.I. investigation started threeweeks ago when a disgruntled second grad-er complained to his mother about a groupof yuppie-looking college kids, who were
stealing his milk money in return for protec-tion. The angry mother called Otto Bermanthe school's principle.
“I was sitting at my desk when thephone rang,” said Berman, “ It was this ladyyelling and screaming about her son’s milkmoney. I knew it was serious so I called theF.B.I.”
The F.B.I. began a probe tying the stu-dent senate to the scheme.
Nick Licata, investigating agent said,“We put surveillance cameras around theplayground and caught them skimmingmoo-juice money from kids.”
This was just touching the surface andwe had to investigate deeper to find the
truth, Licata added.Mustache Max, an undercover agent,
infiltrated the student senate disguised him-self as a seat.
“I talk a little bit to Angelo,” said Max,“He likes me and so he gives me a seat.”
With Mustache Max deep inside thesenate and acting as Angelo's right handman, Max could easily gather informationabout the illicit activities by wearing a hid-den camera in his pocket protector.
The student senate was loansharkingmoney to college student at credit card rates.
Carlos Marcello, a sophomore studentsaid, “I needed some beer money, so I wentto the student senate for a loan. I didn’t have
to fill out any application I was instantlyapproved.”
The student senate was also involved inillegal gambling all the way from highschool flag football to lumber jacking con-tests on ESPN2.
“The hell with canoe trips and comput-er lab hours,” said BH student, John Doe. “ Ispend my government money betting onhorses and drinking whiskey."
The senate was frustrated about the lackof funds on campus and decided to createsome. Cory “Angelo” said, “I asked theschool, I asked the state. Where's themoney? So I get my own.”
BH and Tech to switch campuses
Tom SchaferFast Facts Editor
Terresah HallArts & Entertainment Editor
A dress code also in the works for the new Rapid City campus
TODAY
photo by Jessica BoetelAbove is an example of the proposeddress code for the Rapid City BH campus.
Audit finds millions of dollars stashed in university budget
An audit of Black Hills State University by theLegislative Audit Office in Pierre revealed that the universi-ty and alumni foundation have $13 million in surplus in dif-fering accounts campus-wide.
The audit performed last summer by the state agencywas done at the request of the BHSU Student Senate in anattempt to understand the budgeting process at theUniversity.
The BHSU Foundation, which owns the President'shome and is the major contributor to the university, was themain channel to hide the surplus funds. Any monies left instudent organization, copier fund, food service and otheruniversity accounts at the end of the fiscal year were donat-
ed to the foundation as a maintenance and repair “gift” tohelp offset costs for upkeep of the President's home.
The money was then funneled back into universityaccounts as donations from the foundation. Because of fed-eral laws restricting the amount of money that can be donat-ed to a public university, the foundation was forced to make“a lot of little donations to different university departments,”according to Steve Meeker, BHSU Foundation Director.
“I don't think there is anything illegal with what wedid,” Meeker said. “We are keeping more of the dollars inthe university system, rather than putting them in the state-wide budget.”
BHSU Student Senator Ellery Grey disagreed. “Theykeep increasing our tuition and fees when they have all thismoney left over,” said Grey.
“The money that is in these accounts will have to be
budgeted within the next fiscal year or it will revert to thestate general fund to be reappropriated in other areas,” saidState Auditor Vern Larson. “This could be a real windfall forsome university programs if they wish to keep the money oncampus.”
According to Vice President of Finance Tom Anderson,the money will be used for the construction of a greyhoundracing track, funding a croquet team and big raises foradministration.
“It is important that the students see where their moneyis going,” Anderson said. “I think they will really get behindus spending the money in these places; these are importantprojects that serve all the students on campus.”
“It took a long time to get to the point they are at rightnow,” said Meeker. “There were a lot of occasions where itwas a donation of $100 or less.”
The Today is published on Macintosh and Macintosh compatible computers.All stories and advertisements may be submitted on diskette for publication in Macintosh.
The deadline for all submissions is Wednesday noon, one week prior to publication. Please callfor more information. For news and advertising, call (605) 642-6389.
Subscription rates are $10.00 per year. Circulation 1,500. USPS 851-840.The BHSU Today welcomes letters to the editor on issues affecting the newspaper and/or
the University. All letters require a 250 word limit and a signature. The Today reserves theright to edit all letters for grammar, spelling, length and clarity. The opinions are those of thewriter are not necessarily those of the Today staff or of Black Hills State University.
The Today paper is a student organization and all students are welcome to participate. TheToday paper also supports courses in Mass Communications under the College of Arts andScience. BHSU Today is a College Press Service (CPS) subscriber and member. BHSU Today,Copyright 1994. All rights reserved.
BBHHSSUU TTOODDAAYY SSTTAAFFFFPublished Mondays during the 1998-99 academic year. Publication dates are:January 28, February 11, March 4, March 25, April 1, April 15, and April 29.
My dad’s name is Robert (Bob) Warne, whose birthday is onApril Fools Day. The day he met my step-mother is a day he willnever forget. Since they have been married, my step-mother, Vicki,has done horribly hilarious things to him on his birthday.
My dad was born on April 1, 1957 and even then his dad thoughthe was a joke. Not literally, but when my grandma told my grandpathat she was in labor he thought she was kidding because it wasApril Fools Day.
Throughout my dad’s life people didn’t really pay any attentionthat his birthday was on April 1; they would just throw him a partylike every other kid.That was of course until he met my step-mother.
In 1989, Vicki told all of us kids, there are four of us, she wasplanning to make a huge cake out of industrial size sponges. Shebought two of that were 9”x11” each. She then put three jars ofchocolate frosting on them. The cake looked yummy and real, butwhen my dad tried to cut the cake it would spring back like an angelfood cake. He couldn’t figure out what was wrong.
As we were all laughing he realized something was up. He tooka knife and scrapped away the frosting to see a huge sponge. Helaughed and wanted to know where his real cake was. When Vickibrought out the real cake it had a pair of glasses on it. The ear-pieceswere women's legs.
There was also a sign that read, “When you were born the doc-tor slapped your mom because you were so ugly.” This quote is ajoke that has been in our family for years, it was supposed to of saidto my grandpa’s mother when he was born.
The next year Vicki had a better plan. My dad was working as a
work release officer in Ft. Pierre and at the sale barn onFriday nights. It was about a week before his birthday,when my dad and a trucker got into “fisticuffs.” It wasn’ta very big deal; the trucker was parked where he couldn’t,and my dad told him that. On the day of his birthday mystep-mom had two Ft. Pierre police officers, BradRathbun and Dave Panzer Sr., arrest my dad for the fightearly that week.
My dad was supervising a prisoner, as the workrelease officer, and the cops pulled up and arrested him.They told him that the trucker was at the station with hislawyer and they wanted to talk to my dad.
As they got out of the car at the station they hand-cuffed my dad to the flag pole. A lady then came out ofthe courthouse dressed as a large chicken, and sang“Happy Birthday.”
My dad started to look around for Vicki, but she washiding inside the courthouse. She could see him saying“Where’s my *&!# wife?” He was humiliated.
In 1991, my dad, brother, and I went to Rapid City tomeet my aunt, grandma and grandpa for my dad’s and mygreat aunt’s birthdays (Vicki and my sister were inMinnesota at a meeting). We all met at the VFW, andordered our food and sang “Happy Birthday.”
When we were finished singing, a lady came out andasked for Bob. He tried to hide behind my grandpa, butshe found him. She was a belly dancer that my aunt andstep-mom had hired to dance for my dad at the VFW. Shehanded my dad a card that read, “Roses are red. Violetsare blue. I may not be there, but I can still get you! LoveVicki.” This was the most embarrassed my dad ever was.
I thought for sure Vicki would get him better on his40th birthday, but she was nice and left him alone. His40th birthday was this last April 1.
To this day my dad gets really scared from aboutMarch 5 through May 1 because he doesn’t ever knowwhat will happen to him. Oh, my poor dad.
And just for the record, this is the only true story inthis entire April Fool’s issue.
Darby WarneStaff Writer
Pres. Flickema to take summer off to golf
As the summer approaches, Black HillsState University students will begin noticingchanges around the campus.
One of the most noticeable of these changeswill be not seeing President Flickema aroundcampus. Dr. Flickema has decided to take thesummer off so he can focus on preparing to winthe president’s golf cup.
However, the president is not the onlyschool official taking time off to golf.
“Vice President, Tom Anderson will alsotake the summer off to look for all the golf ballshe lost last summer,” said Dr. Flickema, “as wellas to look for the heads that came off the shaft.”
Anderson did not feel the summer wouldbe enough time for what he plans to accomplishon the green.
“ I plan on leaving mid- April becauseit’s a big course with lots of balls and I needto be back for the fee payment inSeptember.” He also stated that the heads ofhis shafts have already been found.
With any sport, practicing is essential.As many of these golf enthusiasts get readyto compete against each other old memoriesreturn as well as old rivalries.
In order to work on their skills some areusing vacation time to practice.
“Steve Meeker will be practicing duringhis three-week vacation, he’s going to prac-tice three foot putts,” stated Anderson. “Ihave it on good authority that he is lobbyingthe golf club officials to enlarge the diameterof the cup. I don’t think he’ll be successful.”
It also seems that some of the partici-pants resort to using underhanded tech-niques in order to win. Moving the ball,
lying on stroke scores, and bending opponentsirons are just some of the ways, but several peo-ple have stated that Dr. Flickema’s tactics gobeyond this.
Many of the people that have played againstDr. Flickema fear testifying about these skills,but Anderson went on the record.
“Dr. Flickema has a secret golf weapon -it’s his golf cart,” stated Anderson. “ He hasn’thad it tuned up for two years and it belches nox-ious fumes, giving him an unfair advantage overthe people he’s playing with.”
The game of golf is calling participantsfrom all over, and South Dakota is no exception.With the warm weather in the Black Hills it isno wonder why people are getting an early start.
Nevertheless, Dr. Flickema will stay aroundcampus until the end of April. Before which hecan be seen swinging away at golf balls at oneof the local golf courses.
Nikki CloudNation Editor
Spongey cakes, trips to the court-house and dancers plague one BHdad with unfortunate birthday
BHSU TODAY NEWSPAPER
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Student’s father “haunted” by wife for April Fools birthday
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R nu spielchekr werks
Eye gist got a soelling chequerdownloded on my pea sea at daoffice. These new progrma willgretly reduc da amount of time eyehalve to spend on my paige eachissue.
From our friends at IBM comesthe newest thinks in spool checking.It’s called the y2k speer chewer. asupost 2 bee the best thong 2 hit themarket in yearn. It was just realasetwo months ago, and is seeping themarket as i write.
The nu chker not only hag al thewards in the english language butt isalto has thousands of choices foretch missspeled wruds. It also hasa graammer cheek inuit so youalways hag the bastes grammmerand you’’ll alwayz hag panty offsyninims and antinims to hep keeepure writing enteresting.
IBM hag bean working ownthee nee chewer 4 nearly 6 yeerznow. They say itss reedy pad offbecuz now people kan write bettermatiearl and knot always hag miss-pled wards and poorer graammer.
“Peoples seems too B reaalllyxctied abode thins.Whee hag hundreds off ardorsframe news-papers and collages a-round the counertey. I just c’a’n’twaite to C how haapppy thy R afarusing hour nu produk,” saidspumone from IBM who waistmportant enought to site.
“This iz realy the futur of riting,its goin too taik people to a hole nuleval.”
The gramer chekc in this nu sys-tim iz suporst 2B surperbed and itzsuposte to get rid off long run--onsantincis and nevar nevar let doublewards sliped in and alwayz lok foragrremant and plarality on word andtel you when U nede to put a periadand a commma, and, were, knot, to,pute, punction and everthing.
Da nu chker is suposed to plain-ly margue four me miss steaks eyekin knot sea. Once eye strike a keyand type a wurd, these machinshould tell me weather eye amwrong oar write as soon as a mistache is maid. Den da machin tels mehow eye kin put the error rite
We hear at the Taday newspiperare curently testin thiz knew andinproved y2k spelll chewer on thizartical hear. AFter we C how itworkz we May continues to uze it
Ryan HighnessSports Editor
My dad’s name is Robert (Bob) Warne, whose birthday is onApril Fools Day. The day he met my step-mother is a day he willnever forget. Since they have been married, my step-mother, Vicki,has done horribly hilarious things to him on his birthday.
My dad was born on April 1, 1957 and even then his dad thoughthe was a joke. Not literally, but when my grandma told my grandpathat she was in labor he thought she was kidding because it wasApril Fools Day.
Throughout my dad’s life people didn’t really pay any attentionthat his birthday was on April 1; they would just throw him a partylike every other kid.That was of course until he met my step-mother.
In 1989, Vicki told all of us kids, there are four of us, she wasplanning to make a huge cake out of industrial size sponges. Shebought two of that were 9”x11” each. She then put three jars ofchocolate frosting on them. The cake looked yummy and real, butwhen my dad tried to cut the cake it would spring back like an angelfood cake. He couldn’t figure out what was wrong.
As we were all laughing he realized something was up. He tooka knife and scrapped away the frosting to see a huge sponge. Helaughed and wanted to know where his real cake was. When Vickibrought out the real cake it had a pair of glasses on it. The ear-pieceswere women's legs.
There was also a sign that read, “When you were born the doc-tor slapped your mom because you were so ugly.” This quote is ajoke that has been in our family for years, it was supposed to of saidto my grandpa’s mother when he was born.
The next year Vicki had a better plan. My dad was working as a
work release officer in Ft. Pierre and at the sale barn onFriday nights. It was about a week before his birthday,when my dad and a trucker got into “fisticuffs.” It wasn’ta very big deal; the trucker was parked where he couldn’t,and my dad told him that. On the day of his birthday mystep-mom had two Ft. Pierre police officers, BradRathbun and Dave Panzer Sr., arrest my dad for the fightearly that week.
My dad was supervising a prisoner, as the workrelease officer, and the cops pulled up and arrested him.They told him that the trucker was at the station with hislawyer and they wanted to talk to my dad.
As they got out of the car at the station they hand-cuffed my dad to the flag pole. A lady then came out ofthe courthouse dressed as a large chicken, and sang“Happy Birthday.”
My dad started to look around for Vicki, but she washiding inside the courthouse. She could see him saying“Where’s my *&!# wife?” He was humiliated.
In 1991, my dad, brother, and I went to Rapid City tomeet my aunt, grandma and grandpa for my dad’s and mygreat aunt’s birthdays (Vicki and my sister were inMinnesota at a meeting). We all met at the VFW, andordered our food and sang “Happy Birthday.”
When we were finished singing, a lady came out andasked for Bob. He tried to hide behind my grandpa, butshe found him. She was a belly dancer that my aunt andstep-mom had hired to dance for my dad at the VFW. Shehanded my dad a card that read, “Roses are red. Violetsare blue. I may not be there, but I can still get you! LoveVicki.” This was the most embarrassed my dad ever was.
I thought for sure Vicki would get him better on his40th birthday, but she was nice and left him alone. His40th birthday was this last April 1.
To this day my dad gets really scared from aboutMarch 5 through May 1 because he doesn’t ever knowwhat will happen to him. Oh, my poor dad.
And just for the record, this is the only true story inthis entire April Fool’s issue.
Pres. Flickema to take summer off to golf
As the summer approaches, Black HillsState University students will begin noticingchanges around the campus.
One of the most noticeable of these changeswill be not seeing President Flickema aroundcampus. Dr. Flickema has decided to take thesummer off so he can focus on preparing to winthe president’s golf cup.
However, the president is not the onlyschool official taking time off to golf.
“Vice President, Tom Anderson will alsotake the summer off to look for all the golf ballshe lost last summer,” said Dr. Flickema, “as wellas to look for the heads that came off the shaft.”
Anderson did not feel the summer wouldbe enough time for what he plans to accomplishon the green.
“ I plan on leaving mid- April becauseit’s a big course with lots of balls and I needto be back for the fee payment inSeptember.” He also stated that the heads ofhis shafts have already been found.
With any sport, practicing is essential.As many of these golf enthusiasts get readyto compete against each other old memoriesreturn as well as old rivalries.
In order to work on their skills some areusing vacation time to practice.
“Steve Meeker will be practicing duringhis three-week vacation, he’s going to prac-tice three foot putts,” stated Anderson. “Ihave it on good authority that he is lobbyingthe golf club officials to enlarge the diameterof the cup. I don’t think he’ll be successful.”
It also seems that some of the partici-pants resort to using underhanded tech-niques in order to win. Moving the ball,
lying on stroke scores, and bending opponentsirons are just some of the ways, but several peo-ple have stated that Dr. Flickema’s tactics gobeyond this.
Many of the people that have played againstDr. Flickema fear testifying about these skills,but Anderson went on the record.
“Dr. Flickema has a secret golf weapon -it’s his golf cart,” stated Anderson. “ He hasn’thad it tuned up for two years and it belches nox-ious fumes, giving him an unfair advantage overthe people he’s playing with.”
The game of golf is calling participantsfrom all over, and South Dakota is no exception.With the warm weather in the Black Hills it isno wonder why people are getting an early start.
Nevertheless, Dr. Flickema will stay aroundcampus until the end of April. Before which hecan be seen swinging away at golf balls at oneof the local golf courses.
photo by Alan CarrollFlickema at a recent golf match.
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11999999
33
courtesy photo
Student’s father “haunted” by wife for April Fools birthday
BHSU CAMPUS CALENDARPresident William Jefferson Clinton is scheduledto be the guest speaker at this year’s commence-ment ceremony. His speech is titled “ How tomake big mistakes in life and still get off.”
As of Friday April 2nd theBlack Hills State Football teamwill no longer be allowed to par-ticipate in intercollegiate com-petition.
On March 17th, NAIA offi-cials came to BH to do a randomsteroid check. BH failed miser-ably. Not a single BH player hadany form of enhancement drugin their system.
"I just don't get it," saidHead Coach Russ Martin. "I tryand I try to get these kids to takethese steroids but they just don'twant to. Where's there dedica-tion?"
In past years the BH squadhas been acknowledged as oneof the cleanest football teams inthe nation. But now, with theintroduction of Andronine, andCreatine, along with the newruling that anabolic steroids willbe permitted in collegiatesports, the Jackets are slowlyfalling behind.
"We just don't feel thatNAIA football can exist withoutsteroids," said the president ofthe NAIA Brian Bosworth."And by failing to use them, BHis deliberately violating amandatory policy. They can notbe permitted to participate!"
"I don't get it," said TyroneThomas. "I've been doingsteroids since I was eleven yearsold. And now that I've finallyquit, they want me to do them!"
With the allowance of per-formance enhancement drugs,the NAIA hopes to generate afan base equivalent to a third
world country."Americans are just beg-
ging for blood and guts," saidBosworth. "And when they seeour players out there on the fieldwith broken legs, arms, andmaybe even backs, they'll getexactly what they're looking for.
The Yellow Jackets haveapplied to the SDHSAA (SouthDakota High School AthleticAssociation) to see if they willpermit BH to compete. TheSDHSAA has not determinedwhether or not they will beallowed to participate.
“The guys have been work-ing their butts off all post-sea-son,” said Tony Chavez. “It justpains me to know that theyweren’t taking those drugs. Ithink their girlfriends’ were tooafraid of the side effects.”
In order to keep scholar-ships for their football players,BH is also considering starting aRugby team.
BLACK HILLS STATE UNIVERSITY
The Black Hills State University Today newspaper staff would like to take this time to say happy birthday to Stevie Babbitt III, our own little “April Fools” baby!
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Underwater basket weaving added to wellness requirements
Although it has been a joke among students formany years, Underwater Basket Weaving will soon be areality at Black Hills State University.
Underwater Basket-Weaving is among a list of newcourses to be offered as Physical Education electivesfrom the College of Arts and Sciences. A list of newclasses offered was released from the Department lastweek, among them were Tae Bo for the non-traditionalstudent, Dry Cleaning, 12 Ounce Curls, and UnderwaterBasket Weaving.
Underwater Basket Weaving has long been a soughtafter course for many students that attend BHSU.Josephine Jones said, “I am so excited to take this class;it has always been a dream of mine to be able to weavebaskets with the fish.”
“My friends and I have always joked aboutUnderwater Basket-Weaving being offered at thisschool, but now that it is actually happening, were notlaughing anymore, stated Tina Thomson.
A professional Underwater Basket -Weavinginstructor was hired by the college to ensure propertraining in this field. It is a known fact that if a person isunderwater for more than six minutes without taking abreath, they will die. The college did not want this tohappen, so they hired a professional instructor who has a
lot of snorkel tubes. Jamie James is the new instructor; he was trained in
the field at The University of Aquamarine Sciences inAladdin, Wyoming. James says this is his first job atanother University, since the accident, but he assures usthat every precaution is being taken to ensure the safetyof our students.
“As much as I love Underwater Basket-Weaving, Ido realize that you just cannot practice all day longbecause your skin gets all wrinkly like a prune, and youhave to come up for air so much.”
The head of the Physical Education Department,Cindy Kline, an advanced Underwater Basket-Weaver,is very excited about the possibilities available as thenew program gets started at BHSU.
“With this class actually becoming a reality, thiswill pave the way for more advanced classes, likeUnderwater Cross-Stitching and Underwater Knitting.It’s a very exciting thing for this department, and I thinkeveryone can benefit from the rewards offered.”
Underwater Basket-Weaving involves exactly whatthe title says. Students go underwater and weave bas-kets. The students will be required to wear bathing ordiving suits, as they will be using the Young Center poolfor this class. Snorkel tubes will be provided by theUniversity, but if a student wants to get really into it,they can purchase diving equipment at Scuba Gear, inRapid City.
An Underwater Basket-Weaving II will be offeredin the Fall of 2000, so any student planning on takingthis course should invest in some diving equipment. Inthis class, students will venture to Mirror Lake to weave.
Before getting into the water, students will berequired to find their own source of natural growingreeds to weave with. A drying process will be used toprepare the reeds for the weaving.
“The neat thing about Underwater Basket-Weaving”said James, “is that normally when weaving baskets,you have to soak them for a long time to make them pli-able enough to weave and reeds need re-soaked as theydry out. But when you weave underwater, the reeds areunderwater with you and therefore, they stay wet andpliable you donít have to re-soak them because they areconstantly wet.”
BHSU is becoming more and more known for itsvariety of courses offered, and with this class beingoffered, the school is fame is sure to increase two-fold.No other South Dakota University offers this class oreven any class remotely related.
“This puts us ahead one step as we leap into the newmillennium,” said University Team Specialist, GregChrismore. “The only way that we can be ahead of otherschools when it comes down to offering more classes, isto offer more classes than they do.”
If you are interested in taking the class, sign up nowbecause seats in the pool are being filled very quickly.
Football team suspended from NAIAMen failed to useperformance -enhancing drugs
Frannie WagnerBuzz Editor
Justin VarlandSports Editor
photo by Jessica BoetelThe match-ups between other NAIA teams and BH insize have been hard on the smaller Yellow Jackets.
