Date post: | 12-Feb-2016 |
Category: |
Documents |
Upload: | communicationsoffice |
View: | 8 times |
Download: | 0 times |
Tom James Moments
Sept 2012 – Dec 2012
Office 321
Hey guys,
This has been a fun four months. You are all such characters, and so many things you guys said or did was just so priceless, that I had to record it.
Thanks for the laughs and all the epic moments: you all are completely awesome, and I was blessed to get a chance to work with you! Happy 2013 and Happy Selling
Your favorite enabler
Blake
1
COMPLIMENTING 101
Nathalie: Derek, you have a well proportioned head
Derek: …thank you Nathalie
2
GET YOUR HOE DOWN ON
(Marah hoe-‐downs all the way to the front desk)
Marah: is Robin here?
Blake: no
Marah: aw shucks, oh well then, I guess I’ll just hoe-‐down back
(Marah hoe-‐downs back to her office)
3
GOAL SETTING SHIT
Nathalie: we should do some lovey dovey goal setting shit at tomorrow’s meeting
Robin: well, I am reading a poem tomorrow
Nathalie: did you write it yourself and is it set to interpretative dance that you perform?
Robin: no
Nathalie: in that case, I want no part in it
4
2
THE FOOD CHAIN
Melissa: hmm…who is lower on the food chain: accountants or staff accountants?
Robin: probably staff accountants
Melissa: do we still eat them?
5
VISIT TO BLAKE’S DESK PER HOUR
10
5
0
With
cand
y
With
out
cand
y
6
HOW REAL MEN HAVE THEIR WATER
(Trunk show: a client has just walked in)
Jenn: Hello, would you like some water?
(she looks at the baileys)
Jenn: you can make it Irish…irish water
7
OFFICE NBA
(Nathalie and Blake have just finished throwing crumpled up paper into the recycling bin from a distance)
Nathalie: I wish we always had that box there, so we could always have a game of office boxketball
8
WORDS ESCAPE ME
Shannon: my coworkers…my colleagues…my ‘people who work with me’
(Shannon on the phone trying to find the right word)
9
WORDS OF WISDOM
10
I LIKE THE WAY YOU MOVE
Melissa: Robin, I hit my three, start dancing
Robin: it’s seven
Melissa: you set me a goal of three, I don’t get a dance?
Robin: no, you work up til seven
Melissa: how about half a dance?
11
HALLOWEEN
Jenn: Robin, can I grab you for ten minutes
(Robin looks at his desk with a pile of candy on it)
Robin: hmm, I think I’ll be busy here for ten minutes
12
MORE HALLOWEEN
Nathalie: I like candy…I like chocolate…I like chocolate candy
13
MELISSA’S VENN DIAGRAM OF HAPPINESS
Mac
Pow at Whistler
good Coffee
Bliss 14
WIT AND WISDOM
Nathalie: Does the name ‘Brad Wise’ seem familiar to you
Robin: not really, but he seems like a smart man
(Both laugh)
Robin: see how I did that?
Nathalie: well played
15
IT’S OKAY BECAUSE I’M ASIAN…
Shannon: when people told me it’s good I thought it can’t be good…it’s Korean
(Shannon talking about chicken wings)
16
OFFICE POLL: WOULD THE FOLLOWINGSCENARIO STOP ROBIN FROM HITTING HIS GOALS?
Bad weather
= yes = no
sickness
Zombie apocalypse
17
DR EVIL
(Nathalie is in Robin’s chair using his laptop. Robin walks over. Nathalie swivels to face him)
Nathalie: Robin, I stole your chair
Robin: yes, you did
(Nathalie still sits there)
Nathalie: how does it feel?
18
OUR AWESOME CLIENTELE
(Jeff Rose is checking out a new pair of pants)
Jeff: wow, these pants have deep pockets
Nathalie: these pants are for men who have deep pockets
19
NAMES
Blake: woah, look, there is this guy called Achilles. I should name my future child Achilles
Nathalie: yeah, each Halloween he could dress up as a heel
20
NAMES NAMES NAMES
Nathalie: oh cool, I get to phone a guy called Salmon. I wish I was named Salmon, I would make myself hungry
(moments later…on the phone)
Nathalie: hello, could I please speak with Mr. Salmon?
(pause)
Nathalie: yes, like the fish
21
AVG NUMBER OF PEOPLE IN LOBBY
10
5
0
With
macaron
s
With
out
macaron
s
22
FINAL WORDS
Thanks for the laughs, the coffees, the macarons, the positivity, the opportunity, and most of all, for the banking information…heh heh
You guys are the best, visit me if you are ever in Australia, and I’ll be thinking of you all.
Best regards
Blake
23
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Blake McDermott has been bringing sexy back since 1987. His interest in writing first began 2008, when someone brainwashed him into thinking it was lucrative.
Since then, Blake has published one novel. It has been translated into one language, and has had readers from all over unit 960 – 777 Hornby street.
When he is not scanning bags, Blake can be seen walking, reading, or expanding his collection of ceramic unicorns.
Feel free to contact the author at [email protected]
a McDizzle production