MODULE 6 TELEVISION TRANSCRIPTS

1 HOLID AY TIME

A LET 'S TAKE A HOLlDU!

Val"ri"

Val"",, Agcnt

Val"ri"

Agept

Val"",, ÁgeDt

Brrnard

Good momUl~, Can I help you? YC'$ , \\'C 'd liJ,:c 10 go on holiday, \fdl. you\'c come:: 10 Ihc ri!';hl p!a(e~ Whal kind of hol ida\' are:: \'OU imcrnlcd in? \fc're'nol s~re , "'e\,(: jusI de::eide::d Iha¡ "c "'am 10 !oto on holid3Y, \fc !lced a bre::ak, EUfOpc::? The Far EaSI? Or do you prc(er America? The:: S",'chclln 01' T orqu3\'? \re 'd r~lhcr ,11:0 10 Sp~In, . Sp3in? \\ny do you \,'am 10 ,11:010 5pain? Becau!.C wc like Ihe:: sunshine:: and lhc pe::opk and Ihc 13n~age and Ihe:: food .. OlZ. OK, Fine::. \'ou're Ihe (USlomcr. j¡'s your holi· d:I\', ~ow ... hal!.Qrt ofholida\"? Do \'0\1 prcfcr ocach hoi¡day! 10 aCli\;ry holldavs? '\'ould \·ou r31heT 113\'C 3 hOlel Of .1 sclf·ealcrinc apJrlmem ? n 'e ,,'¡¡m a hOlel by Ihe ocach. I s.ce . And ho\\ 101l!: do vou ,,'.101 10 go for? ,~ fc"-days.

Val"",, TC"n d3~~. Val"ri" l k

B"rnard 1'-\ "Ce" ',

AgeDl Pnhaps jI " 'ould be bnlcr W 51 ay in England. In Torquól\". in .hr " d I o f En!~-]¡¡. nd . i l can be w"ry ~um l ' illJ u l ~ - up 10 Ihi~l\' d('~('('"i_ Thc ~ ~ ... y il n.u rcacnc-d Ihirt\ -lhrtC" . Jhhou~h I can'[ ~aramc(' Lt.

Valerie AgO:DI

Bernard Agrot

Ageot Valen"

Asen!

Bernard Agent

V:uu'¡"

Valerie Agept

Valerie Agept

Valerie Agenr

Bernard

or (ourse Bu! ,,"<' ",101 l0!t0 10 Spain. )"01,1 don"( W3m 10 go 10 Spain by air . :\"OI n("xI w('ck. Thcn: ,,-ill Ix ni.!:hl dclJ.\"s . . -\1 ¡his limC of ycar. Ihe aiT Iraffic comrollcn al! IZO on Strikc. Hc:u hrow is full of !;Crcamin!t childrcn. doin!,: on Molida\" abroad can Ix a ni¡::hlmnrc. J ,,'ouldo', ;¡d,"i!;C il \\'hal kind oflra\"cI ar;:cm are ~'ou? ¡ "m a fricndl~ H,a\'d a¡:Cnl "nd ¡ "ould ad,-isc Torquay, Torquay . .'\h. Torquay~ The" 3re beaUliful. s3ndy bcaches. dean bcaehes! \'ery "ie::c rCS!iluranIS. One or Ihe OCSI ,hio,~ aooul Torqua~ is .

• • • is Ihal ;1 is clo!.C 10 Bri;.;harn.

So ,,'ha!? fresh rish, lhal's ",hal. f resh rish c\"ery day off Ihe rl1hing boal!. Do you lile fresh rish? \'cs~

TIten go 10 TOfquay. If alll " '3I11fd on holiday "'as fresh fish. I ,,"ouldn'l RO 10 T orquay, I'd go 10 Bri<ham, You'rc riRht. The fiu, is freshcr in Bri.'(ham ... bu¡ unfonunalely all vac::ancies in Brixham havc gone, \\'ny do you inSisl Ihal "'e' should go 10 T orquay? Oh, was I insisting? \rc.Il , ;I'S bceaUK I always go Ihere for my holida}'L 1 don'l "'am 10 RO 10 T orqua)'. Ha\'(: you e\'Cr been Ihere? 1'0. \\'cll, you eould jusI be lucky , . , M ind you, mOSI place! are ruUy booked al Ihe moment, l'\"e never beco 10 T orquay, \\'e:: c::ould go by train.

Valene No, Bernard, He's mad, Agear Oh, no, no, no, no, no~ This is terrible! can'l

bcliC\'(: il! Bernard \\nal " the' maner?

Ageot E\'c.rylhing is boolc.d up.l'm soITy. I'm so $(1fT)", VaJerie Come. on, Bc.rn~rd, \\'c.'re w~lin.11: our time.

Ageot JU~I ~ minut e::. There might be onc possibilil\" hcre. Ycs! My word! You Q'f a lucly couple.

Bernard I'm $(IIT\"? Agep t SJIQngnIQ~ Ho" pcrfec.l~

Valc rie \\'hal? Ageot h'~ a guell houle in Torquay. ~1rs Chambers _

Ihal'$ the landlad~ - has jusI had a eancdlal ion ror OC)!I ,,"ee k. \\nal Rood ¡uek! It '~ bcd and breiliasl. It's leITifie \'aJue - jusI ten pounds a ni!';h¡ per per·

Be rn ard Tha¡'s reasooablc. Agent A lradilional English e::ooked brcaUaSI. Can'l you

smdl Ihe bacon and e!!:!\1' and grillcd lomalOCS? VaJerio: I ",am morf Ihan a 'load brc3kfasl.

Age ot Ycs. of courK "ou do. You "am an Í<:c·eream' Bern:ard \\"hat facilities does ).t(5 Chambcrs' RueSt house

h~\'c?

Ageoe You " 'ould ha\'c your "c.r":" own wuh basin "'hieh ',·ould. of coursc. be m su.k', In the residcms' loungc. Ihere is a Iele\'uion "idt full eolou •.

••• Ageot Ha\'e a Rood lime. You'lI 10\"(' jI. Bye , , , :\tum.'

Guess ,,'hal , I ha\"(' a "er\' niee eouplc eomin!:: 10 Ma\ " 'i,h ~ ou ne):1 ', ce l.. . ;\11' and ,\lrs \\"ilsOllo :\0" . Mum, Ihe$.(' are imporUlnt cUSlomers .

B SUNSH I NE AlL THE WAY

Strcet mtemews Mrs Addison Oh. Ihe wealher \\'as really mar\'eUous. lt was

sunshine alllh< way, aod we did cnjoy il. Lin On my lasl holiday, 1 "'cm 10 ¡';:cw England in

.'\menea, and it raincd alllhe lime. The ... eath. er ..... u real'" drcadful.

David Tite \\calher on my laSI holiday ",as terrib le. 1, rained e\"('f" da\".

Sara The lasl h~lid3;' I had in faet "'as a eouple of wc.cks aRO in Oe"on, wh ieh Wal> rain,· and hor· rible , I "ish I eould ha"C gone on a niee, sunny beaeh.

¡"I e lissa \re ,,'cm 10 a holiday camp, and Ihe ,,"ealher ""~ all righ!.

Dop't RJaJn me I:l.ugb! Daany Thank you. Than},; you \"cry mueh. Do you liie tra,'(:I.

ling? My ... ife - she liLes Ir.welling. Shc.'d rathe. Ir.wcJ Ihan do an~1hins e1s.c. So, ,,'hen me said soc ""arned 10 SC( !he "'urld. , . ,

Man You boUghl her a map! Daany Oh, you\,(: hcard mal joL:e befon:, Never mind! Yes, 1

bought her a map, The old jolcs are Ihe b<:~1 joles. When I go 00 hol iday. Ililee 10 forgel my WQmes, fol" gel my problcrm - Ilike tO forgel el-C::f)1hing. Vc.s, bUI unfonunalelr. when 1 arri\'e at my hOlel and open mI' suilcasc., 1 find thal I IUlIJ( forgonc.n c.\·c.rything. No? vVhc.n I am\"c al my hOlel and apen my 5uilcasc., 1 ünd Ihat I htm: rorgonen C\'e'11hing. My ",ife prcfe~ a 'eul· tural' hol iday lO a be3eh holiday, Oh, yes, she's very sophisticalcd , , . \'·ell. I used 10 think she was ve')'

1

THAT'S ENGLISH! S • TV TRANSCRIPTS

~hislic:au:d. This'~a~, 1 ~d her, ',,"ould you likc a book for ~'our birlhday?' 'No, ¡hank )'ou,' she said. ''''hy !"IO¡?' 'Bc::caU$C I've a1rcady gOl one.' Oh, never mind. Anyway, my ",ire and 1 dccided 10 go 10 Venic;e:: ¡his \'eu for a 'eullural ' holida\". Yes. Veniec::. Ha\"e \'ou ixcn ¡here? To Ve::nKe? In i lah-? "cs? You have? il isrú abad pl3c;e, is it? b 's nOI \"~. modero, bUI Ihe ic;e-crcam is exc:dlcm. \\nile we "'c:re in Venicc:, Ihe wealher .... -as be::auliful. It .... -as sunny e::n'I')' day. BUI .... 1: only sla~-c::d for a fe'" days. \\ny? Becaus<: ¡he ary "'as full of w:uer! There ..... as waler C\"Cr.-where. \\'e had 10 Ira\1:1 C\'C~'Where by boa\. JI \ \ 'aS \'e~' Slrangc::! My ",ife ,,-as l.Ca·sid erossing Ihe n ree:\. !>.fy .... ire "'as l.Ca-sKk, c:ronin!t Ih e slree!. Oh ..... ·ell. picase vouncl\·cs. :~Jl~'way , il's time for a $Ong. Musie, maestro~

Tb., ad Spot Voiceover Here are Ihe Ac; kroyds. Tllal's !\ Ir Aekroyd.

He 10013 ¡ited, docsn 'l he-? He's ..... orked \'ery hard in his omee al1 year. And ,htrc's ~{rs . \ ekroyd. They need a good holiday.

Mr Aekroyd .\ .~ood holiday. T ha¡'s .... ·hal we need - a good holiday.

Voieeover \'e!o. relax. Thal's h. Oh. ",hal fun. M rs Aekro)'d Le( s !lo lO a beaeh - a 10,'CIy. 5and~' bcac;h .

Voiceover Don ' , forgel your ehaia . And Ihe sand· ";c;hes ... And ¡he lea .. _ : ... ud Ihe budel <lnd ~ade ... And Ihe beaeh ball.

M..-s Aekro)'d And ¡he- sun c::rc::arTi? Mr Aekroyd Oh. you " 'on'l need sun eream. And you " '01'1'1

need Ihase sunglas.s.cs. Mrs Aekroyd :'\0 ..... \,'C're rcadv 10 h:l\"C fun . Mr Aekroyd ~Ia~-be:: "e:: ough~ 10 IUc an umbrclJa.

Voiceover ;\0. \'ou ha\"C for.¡;:ollen $Ome::lhing. The new Cromer ,,·indbrea ker. Thal's iI . The new Cromer windbreakcr - for !he :\: orth -Sea winds. You ",on'l gel cold \\"ilh Ihe Cromer ,,;ndbreakcr. Thal's;1. T ... 'O pc::oplc ean easily carry Ihe:: new Cromer ,,;ndbrcaker. :\:t)w ~·ou are re::ad\' for Ihe OCach.

M A k _¡,"es. wc 'prcfer Ihe ne ... · Cromef windbreal:ef. r e roy B ' C B" h "-

M k

_ cea use, In real nlam we a"e!O 1><.' pre·

rs Ae roy r pared for all typcs o ,,·ealher.

StTeet intcrvi.,ws Keith l'd ralher go 0 1'1 a looring holiday, beca use ¡

don'! like spending 100 mueh lime in Ihe sun­shloe.

Mrs Addison I'd rathcr go 01'1 a lou ring nollday , I think. Some .... here .... hcre \\'C can l.CC somclhing difTer­enl, ralher than jusI sunsh ine::.

Ma.ree Ua I"d prcfer 10 go on a su nshine holiday and do sorne sunba!hing.

FranJe l'd prcfer 10 go on a looring holiday ""here 1 can expcn enee Ihe cult ure o( Ihe eounlry and mcel Ihe pc::ople.

Sara 1 prefer sunshine holidays. The Englim wealher is $O bad. (¡ 's al .... -ays raining, and it's really nice lO go and Ii!: on a nice, hot, sunny bcaeh.

Soas: ti=e Th.c: C06t11 Torq".y It can Ix ",-ind)' on (he: lsle of Capn. h's a1""a\"5 bus\' aOO noisv in Paree. \\"e Ihlok il's a'bil 100 luiian in Rome. \\'e'd mlher be:: somewhere claser 10 home ...

Come 10 ¡he Cosla Torqua)'. !t·s b\"!.he sea. You ~an stroll arm in arm, In Ihe shadc of lhe palms, On Ihe Cona.Torqua)".

~Therc 'a~ 100 manv f~neh in Calais. Jamaica is mueh 100 far a .... -ay. II's 100 eold in Sweden, il 's 100 hal in Spain. No, ..... e prcfer Oe\'on - you ean gelthere by train.

Come 10 the Costa Torquay. 110\1: B&B! You can slog, you can danee, You can lool for romanee. II's mueh nicer Ihan France, On Ihe Cosla Torquay,

2 FOOD AND D IET

A A TEASPOONFUL OF CHILLI

Rosjc Gcorgc wanled 10 know if l c;ou ld eoo l.:. Valene Oh. dear. \\nal did you say?

Rosie I lold him 1 'Quid cook. Valene \\1w?

Rosie I didn'l ",am \O leH him Ihe lrulh. Geor_~e 100'es road . He lalks aboul food a1l the lime. Hc's passionalc aboul il. He lo\"es oystcrs.

Valenc So do l . Rosje ,"uk. The\"'re disguslin.lt. Ccor~e ... ·ould be so disap­

polote::d ¡fhe kne,,· ¡ couldn'! cook. So ¡ ¡old him ¡ was a brilliam eook.

Valene \\nv did \'OU lic? Rosie T o picase" him.

Valene He's going 10 rl1ld OUI sooner or laler. Rosie He's going 10 rmd OUI neXI f nday.

Valene How? Rosje He's eomlog round 10 my plaee for a meal.

Valene Oh. no! Rosie )'es. \\"hen 1 boasled aboul my eooking. he gOl \'e0-

excilcd.. He said he had 10 In le my spcciali!)'. Valenc \\ nal's )'Our spccialiry?

Rosie 1 don'l have one. You know m~' fa\'ounte dish. Valene 5ausages .... ith mashed potalocs.

Rosie ,"es, and ¡ ean'l gi\'e George sausages with mashed potalo. Valene. you have gOl 10 hdp me.

Valene You ha\'C 10 ¡eH Ceorge Ihe Irulh. Ros;e Ne"er! Valcrie. you'''e .C;-Ol 10 help me, picase. ,"ou'\'e

gol 10 leaeh me 10 ecok. Valene You ean ¡eaeh you~lf. There are 101$ of good cookery

books.

••• Rosie \\nal ..... ere you going 10 suggesl, Ihen?

Valene \\ny don'l you eook fo r Georgc:: al our housc? I know a di.sh Ihal .... ill drivc him ,,-ild. 1 gOl !he recipc:: ..... hen I was on holida\" in fran c;e.

Rosie I'm not going '10 eoo!.: snails or expcmi\'e freneh food; Valene No, don'l .... 'On) .. This dish doan', COSI \1:1")' mueh, n

talla dclKious and il's easy 10 eooL:. BUI you'll nccd 10 buy !he ingrcdicnls.

Ros ie Ol\.. JlIjusl gel a ptn and ...-rile ,hem dO"ll. Valerie You .... -ant (\10'0 rtUets of ,,'hile flSh.

Rosie T ... 'O fillcts or .... -hile rl.$h. \\nal kind of ... ·h ite flSh' Val.,n" fillcts of cod ... -il1 be:: fme. BUI you mUSI make sure Ihal

!he flSh is frcsl1. Rosie Frcsh rillcts of eod.

Valene Half a mcdium-sizcd onion. Rosie Half a medium-uzed onion.

Valerie A hundrcd granu of nour. Rosie Hu ..... much Dour?

Valene A hundrcd granu. Ro.ie '-\'hal's Ihal in ounees?

Valene 1 don't m o...-. You'U ha"e 10 look il up. One teaspoon­fuI of ehilli sauce,

Rosie Hang on. Could you go a bit more slo ... ·ly, picase?

2

THAT"S ENGLISH! 6. TV TRANSCRIPTS

Valerie A hundre<! grams of choppcd grecn pcppcrs. Geof"!;:e Helio. \"aJene. r ve run OUI of basil, so l"ve come 10

bu\" some, Valerie Y~u eould hal"C taken some from Ihe garden. \\'e've

gOIIOIS. George Hi. R OS1c. whalare you doing here?

Rosie I"m jusI buyin¡;: ¡he ingrcdiems for Friday. George I'm rcally lookin¡;: forwa rd 10 tasüng your spceiality,

Rosie :-'lmm! You 'U lo\"( jI!

••• Valene Oh. "hen you'Te cooking Ihe sauce. you muS¡ laSle il.

It mal' need a pineh uf salt or pcppcr .. Rosie 1 mi:" Ihe bUller "ilh ¡he Oour and pUl Ihe (j"e lea·

spoom of ehilli ";Ih Ihe ehopped lOmalOCS ... four . fi"e . .. and add Ihe puree.

George Helio. Ros;e. Rosie George, you'rr ear,,"!

Ceorge I"m hun~' , I"m w exeited aboul Ihis meaL You kuow. Ih~ momin¡;: I didn'l ha\"(: any breakfasl.

Rosie George. 1 don'l wam you !O ,,"aleh. h 'll make me ner' I"OUS. Ha'"C a drink.

Ceorge Of eour!>C .. -\ good chef mUSI have room 10 brealhe. You must hal 'e spaee lOereale.

Ros;e Add the ba~ k.lf .. . pour 011 the IIine mi~ed ,,;th waler . :!nd add [he chilli

George Y{¡U kilOll. m~ lasl girlfriend d,dn ', ha,'e am l11.,ereSI in food. Oh, and she h;lIed OySHTS. Do you liJ;e oys­te,,?

Rosie 1 I",'e them, Yeso Ih('"'(re so dclieious "ilh fr~' lec:-;' ~tmrrun, Tha(s dcJi<Íous. You '11 lave Ihis .

George ~tmm' Tha, mUIl be !Zood.

••• C .. orge .-\re , ·ou all riÓll :

Ros ;o: Yr,. I"m all righl no" George Good. Look. " 'hl don"1 we "O om 10 cal ?

Ros;e Yeso George A niee. cold bolllc of ehampa~e mighl help 10 cool

~'our moulh. Ros;e Oh. ' 'cs.

George .-\nd sorne oyslcrs. J kno" just Ihe place 10 gel the mOSI lx-autiruJ o~'slers you eould imagine.

B QYSTER S AN O CHAMPA GNE

StTeel internews David 1 Ihink a Spanish person coming 10 Brilain

should eertainly Iry (lSh and chips. Mr Addisoo ["'ould rreommend 10 arder fLsh and chips. h's

Clllen a11 O\'er Ihe ',-orld, and eertainly aJl O\'cr England.

frank rd reeommcnd a eassero!c ",ilh 1015 of meal and vq:;elablcs.

Sara [,,"ould reeommend Ihal a Spanish ,-¡sitor Iries our Yorbhire pudding and roasl beef and roaSI POtall)C5.

Ke ilh 1 reeommend fish and chips - "ery lasf)'.

000' , rnake me laugh! Danny Thank you. Thank you . Than k you I'ery mueh. Do

you JiJ;e drama? You do? You like drama? HislOr)'? Comed}'? Tragedy? You do? Then you ",i.Il10ve my wife's eooking. Ves, her eooking is a tragedy. Her cook· ing - ;I'S so bad Ihal il'§ a Iragedy! No, bUI ~nously, my KUc'S a .... -onderful \\"oman. BUI the fml lime I :.a'" heT m Ihe kilehen, 1 me"",, she "'asn't a good cook. Shc was Irying to open an egg "'¡Ih a tm opener. She "''''5 Ir;;ing 10 open an cgg "'-¡Ih a lin opener! And 1 .... ilI never forget Ihe da~ Ihal she boiled sorne cgg§ in .... ater, and Ihen scl"\'<:d Ihe ""'Ier as ,hicken wup! She

boiled the e~ in "''''Ier and Ihen 5C1"\-cd Ihe ""3.ler as ehiekcn $Oup. Oh, never mmd. But my ,,-¡fe - 1 knc-\\" Ihal she "'aSn'l a food 10''<:1'', She gavc mc a fork lO cal the soup. A fork! She gal'<: me a fa TI. to cal th .. saup! 1 aJ\,"3.~"S :.ay 10 heT, 'Darlmg, .... hal's this on my plale?' She :.an" ' \\b \" do ,'ou "'llflt 10 know?' 1 :.av, ' BeC3u~ 1 ma,' ~,~ 10 de§cnbe jI la m\' doclor later!'· EveTv limC she' eoob a ne'" reeipe, T ge; a nev.· prcscriptio~ from my doctor. Yes, a ne .... pTescription from my doctor. BUI Ilove cooking. r es, I do! .'\ lJ my family are good eoob. M v e nde Sen is a fanalital eook. He even pUIS salt and Pcpper on his loothpasle! He el'en pUIS s...11 and pcppcr on his loolhpasle! Thank you! Thank you! You\'e been a wonderful audienee! Thank you \'e~' mueh.

Tbe ad spot Voke over This man is 11 sueeessful aceoumanl. BUI IOda)·.

men need 10 learn la eook, beeausc .... ·omen are going OUI lO ,,·ork. Ah. he's found Ihe nOle. 11os1 Brilish mcn ean 'l eook. BUI il isn'l diffieuh .... i¡h /I{r Bt(Iim'f CooJ; Book. Firsl of al!. you haH lO fmd the kil,hen. Yeso Iha¡"lO Ihe kilehen. YOil cook food in Ihe kilchen. :\'0'" looay ,,"e're going lO slan .... ilh somnhinc: s;mplr. Yeso I,'r'r('" I!:oin~ 10 make an omele!!e aud ,hips. FirSl of a!J, ,_c need some pola· IOCS. Yeso ..-en done. Tha¡ 's a polalo. :\0, no, no. Don ", do Iha\. You ha"e 10 peel poLllIQCS and eook Ihem befare ,·ou cal Ihem. NOI<" you need a fel\" e~. Th<"'y're kepl in Ihe fridge. :\'0, Ihe fridgc- is Ihal eold place in Ihe comer. Thal 's good.. No, pUl Ihal Ix-er bad in Ihe fridgc. \\'e don ' l need beer la make an omelenr. do "'e' ~o", lale OUI Ihe' eg.I!;S, Tbal's il. No"" uke a f~-ing pan, 1\0. Ihat:s a spal· ula. That's jI. And no,," pour a lablespoonful of oil mIO Ihe frying pan. \\'dl donr~ Thal "aso'IIGo dif­fieuh, ,,'as il?

WlI~ Hdlo, darlin.~. This food loob goad. \\"dl done. You !>Ce, il realh- ~ easy for men 10 eook w¡ln ,\Jr Btfwn '.' {:oo/.' Book,

Sa-eet interv1cws S:;or,. I don '1 do any eooking. ~Iy panncr docs all Ihe

cooking in our hou!>Chold. Mr S,.uuders 1 cooked a pasla only lasl nighl. II was, basical·,

Iy, pUl Ihe pJSla 'in Ihe' saucepan, pUl sorne waler 10 il and boil il up, pUl some garlie and sorne onion mIO a :.aueepan and a bil of loma· 10 Ioauee, heal Ihal up and mi.\{ Ihem logether ­"el"\' niee mea!.

RowshoD T Oasl Ihe bread and pUl sorne eheese on il 1 don ' 1 !mo,,"!

M:;orcelI,. The easiesl reeipe 1 know is jackel pOlalo, where you scrub Ihe skin. pop il in Ihe o'-"en for abouI an hOUT and a haJf, l:U.:e i1 OUI, bUHer ;1 and cal i\.

SODg tllne crysu-rs and champag"e He lales rny eoat, Ihen lates my band, 'Are you hungry?' 1 :.ay, 'Yes·. He wnispeTs, 'Close your eycs, it"s somelhing special, Iry lO gucss'. 1 UUle it once, l lasle il cv.;ee, a link s.ah, some sp;ee, A pineh ofherbs, a drop of ll-lne, \\bal ís jI? Somclhing niee.

11 isn'l oyslers and ehampagne, II is ddicious, bUI nO! oyslers and ehampagne. The kind of dish thal makes you think of sunny Spam, Or Paris in ¡he rain.

J

THAT'S ENGlISH! 6 • TV TRANSCRIPTS

h isn'l oyslers and champagne, ~Iy only "idl is '1<-1 mc laSlC Iha¡ dish aJl:a in'. I ""'ni Ihr recipc, so u:1l me. wha!'~ il~ name? Gi\"c mc more of Ihc s.ame. Though iú nOI oyslers and champagne. :-':0. j¡"~ nOI ~"lil crS and champagne.

3 GOSSIP

A You ' ll NEVER BEUEVE IT!

Geo rge

George Valerie George Vale n e George

Vale rie George Valerie George VaJerie George Valene George Vale n e

Do ,'ou remember Ihe fLTSI lime ,·ou mel old \ ';Clor I\.n ';wlcs? I1 \\"a~ \"e ry funn\". It 'happcned lhe day afler you cookcd a mea! .

Helio. \·alerie. Geor"ge! for ,"ou! Oh, 'Ih:ank you.

• • •

1'\0. Ihllnk you for Ihc mCllI !;1SI nighl. h ,,'a~ famas· tic. 1 w;sh Ro~ic could cook a~ wdl a~ \"ou do. In fact, I -.-ish she eould cook. . Oh. Geore:c. thcre's a man in \"our e:ardell . Yn. ¡h:al's \·ie. ..

\\"hal's he doin¡¡: Ihcre? He's doing sorne gardcnin.'!" for mc. Are you sure he know$ lIOOUI gardenin¡z:? ;-':0 ., bUI he hasn'IJ1:01 ajob allhe momeO]. rm nOI surpriscd. He SlIid he had sorne problcm~. Y("S. 1 can see Ihal.

George Sorne emoliona! problcm~.

VaJene Hernacd

• •• Ho,," \,'a~ I,'ork? .-\"fu!~ ':-'Ia!l:..~e c:ame in . You know Whlll shc'~ like. Shc lalks and IlI! !.:s. She gossips aboul hcr nciJ1:h· bour's brother 's "ik's minor opcralion lasl ycar. Bernard!

Hernacd \\"h;u arc you rcadin!!;? VaJerie !t 's ;m lInicle abauI Quinlcn Sayl~' ne\\" wife. You

should read ;\. Bern2.cd You kilo,," l'fT! nOI inlcrested in gossip. The neW'spa·

pcrs m:ake Ihcsc sloric~ up. I'\one oflhcm;s Irue. Valene lt doesn'l matler if Ihe slorin are true. a~ 10nJ1: as

Ihey're inleresting, Bern2.cd I'm nOI inlcrcslcd in an old f.Jm slar's f>fih \\ifc .

" 'hose a rc Ihese? Valene Thcy're minc.

Bernacd Ycs. bUI ",ho lITe Ih('\' from? Valerie Cucss. .

Hernard Arc Ihey froro Ccorgc? Valene Arcn't Ihcy bcauliful? He's so thoughúul and lind.

He's II real ge:mkm:an. Rosi<c is a lucky ..... oman. Heruard You're nOljealous ofher, are you? Valene No, J'm plcascd ~he's found Klm<cone KI comiderale.

Bernard Hmm. 1 e:an be eonside:rale: 100, vou kno\\". Valerie I kno ..... you c.a.n, darling. .

Hunaro Vale:rie, who's Ihal m:an in our garde:n? Valene That'~ Vie.

Beman:l \\'hal's h<c doing Ihcre? VaJerie He's ¡¡:ardening.

Berna.n:l T hal's Vic K.no ..... ks, isn'l il? ¡ '\'e heard a fe ..... lhings aOOm him.

Valene \\"ho is h<c? Bemard H e: suddenly appcarcd in Ihe: 10"11 a couple of yeal"S

ago, No one: kno,,"~ ..... he re: he carne from, No one knO\\"li \,'hcre he li\'es. He jusI sudde:nly appcar<cd. There: we:r<c 10ls of rumour.; abaul him. Phil's sisler-

in·Jaw thought he: ""'s a <criminal. t Ihink h<c loo!.:s dangcrous.

Valene 1 Ihink he looks s.ad. Heru.:ard 1 "ish he ..... ouldn '1 ..... a\'e Ihal aJee: around Jike Ihal.

• •• Vic Helio. Hdl0. Could 1 ha\"e a e:up of ,ea?

Rosie )'cs ... of course. Vic And a chal.

Ros ie :\ chal? \\"hat about? Vic 1 like 10 chal aboul anylhing. The ..... ealher, ¡he Irce~.

Ihe floweT'$ , the: pas\. 1 get loncly. Ros;e Ol\.. Come in. 1'11 gel you a cup oflea.

••• Vic The:re: wa~ a te:rrib1c storrn IlISI ,,·eel. wasn', thcrc?

Rosie "'as Ihcre:? Oh, yes . Bernacd Rosie, are you alJ right?

Rosie Ves. Bernard Thank goodness. PUl the axe down on Ihe: floor.

:-;0\\' mOl'e lo",,,,rds ,he door slo\\"l~· . Thal's it . Opcn the door and go outside. Hc's a dan'ie:rous mano

Vie Could I hll\-e sorne milk and a I¡tde: ~u.l:"a r in my lea? Rosie I had no ide:a he: was dan gcrous. Thal WlIS \"ery

bral'c ofl'ou 10 sal'e me lile Ihal. Berna.rd Co and phone: ,he police. Te:ll them (her~'~ a dan·

.I!;e:rous m:an in Ihe: ¡¡:arde:n of numbcr tI,e:h-e. 1'ell lne:m I ha\"e diSllrmcd him.

Ros;e :ve: you sure: he:'s dllngcrous? Beruacd Yeso You musl hurry!

• •• Vale n e 1 Ihin!; Bernard ..... asjust 1~·in.1!; lO be: hdpful.

Bernacd \'es, wdl. 1 he:ard from Phil'~ sisltr·in-]¡¡,,· Ihal he " ",s a dange:rou~ criminal.

Geor ge .'\h. ",dI. you shouldn'l bclie:\"e: lIJI that ~msip. Do you know. Vie is so!!;enue Ihat he !Z;e\s UpSCI ifhe h:as lO cut down aIree:,

B DON'T TALK BEHIND MY BACK!

So-eet mlerviews Cb10e I gossip about ba~"li.

Mdissa ~Ie l OO.

l..in Some gossip ¡ '\'e: he:ard ]¡¡Id y ii that 1\\'0 pe:oplc: 1 work ,.ilh. ",ho've ..... o rkcrl lo¡¡:elner for many ye:an, :are no,," a couplc. They\«; h:ad , . , Ihe:y'\'e: bq~un a rc1al ion~hip afler alJ this lime: , and e:\'e:ryone is ,'e~' plcascd abauI it - we: like: Inem bolh.

Ma.r<cella 1 don'l gossip a !Ot n:ally, jusI if pcoplc wan! 10 know som<clhing and 1 kno ..... jI, Ihm 1'11 lellIhem.

Don ' t rnake m e Jaugb! Danny Thank you! Thank you \'e:r)" mueh ! Do you likc smllll

tall? There: is a 101 of small lalk in Ihe meel whe:re 1 I¡ve, There's Mrs [,'ans who lives at numocr rorly' ¡v.·o. '{ou can always Idl wh<cn she:'s gossiping. . )'OU can $Ce: he:r lips mo\'e. You can al,,'ays leU wh<cn she:'s gouiping. you can $Ce her lips movc:. BUI she's a mar\'dlous "'-aman. Lasl we<ck sne IOld me: Ihal she Wal !hirt)' )"ears old . .. BUI 1 kIlow shc:'s cdebratin!!; the r.,-entv-fÚth anniversan' of he: r thirtieth binhda\'. She's e:d~braling Ihe twe~ly-fúth anni\'ersary of h~r Ihirlielh birlhday. 1 said 10 her, I 5aid, 'Oon'l you rcmemocr when you wc:re OOm?' And she: SlIid, 'No, 1 Wal 100 young'. Oh, ¡here's nOlhing Jike: a good joke, is the:re?

Man No. And Ihal ""liS no!hing like a good joke. Danny And Iher<: 's MI" J oncs wno live:s al number I,,«;nly'

rour. He:'s 2.Iways talking behind pcople's backs . .. well , he'5 2. barocr. Yes, he's always lalIJng be:hind Iheir backs. You know , .. talling abaul Ihem " ilhoUI

THAT " S ENGLlSH! 6 • TV TRANSCRIPTS

Ihem kIlo\\'ing , , , He's always lalkmg bchind Iheir baeb , , , .... ·dL he's a barber, He's eUllin!1; hair b<:hind Iheir baeb. Oh, 1lC'\"Cr mind , , , And Ihen merc's Mr Simpwn who li\"CS al numb<:r sixry-thrcc. He li\"Cs 011

his own now, \trs S impson lefe He said !O her, 'Darlin~, ho .... can you ka,'e me?' :\nd she ¡aid, '11'5 easy -1 can go by taxi by ear or on fOOI', \\'dl , Ihey roay Ihe old jokes are the beSI .

Son!> tim<P: Gosnp, 0011, gossip Gossip, ooh, go5sip. Ha\'e you heard abouI my eousin's besl friend's son, \\no used 10 ga nexI door 10 have !.Ome fun? \\nen Ihe husband eam{' home. h{' had 10 ge! up and Tun. Gossip. ¡ love gossip.

Hal'{' \·ou heard aboul mI' eousin's sislcr, in-la,,~

\\'dl. i ,,'ouldn'! like 10 ,eil you C\·er:-.,hing ¡roa,,', \\ nen her neighbour ealied and didn ' l close lhe door. Gossip, yeah, gossip.

Have you heard abouI my eousin's hu~b:md's mOlher, \\ no ran a\\'a~' ",ilh her bes! friend's brOthcr? \\nen Ihal didn '[ '.'ork, she nn awa~' "11h anmher. Gossip. 1 lo\e ~ossip. Ooh. gossip.

Str<p:.,t int.,rvi.,W5. Mr Addison Oh. Ihe b{'sl place 10 h{'ar gossi p is in ,he

shops. Mrs AddisOD \\'ell. 1 Ihink Ihe best plac{' is al 'coffee morn'

ings. Sara The besl place \O ~car ¡::ossip, fOT me, is in my

ofijce around Ihe corree machine, ROW5boD Thc besl place [O hear .¡¡;ossip is al Ihe pub.

David ! Ihink Ihe beSI place 10 hear gossip is al work \\ nen pcoplc are al ,,"ork Ihey gossip a 101.

Marc.,Ua On Ihe bus, Ihat's Ihe bcsl place 10 hear gossip.

Tb<P: ad spol Wom.an This is Ih{' Smal/ TalJc. ,\lanlJa/~ !t·s man'cllous~ Befare

1 had Ihis manual. ¡ used 10 be like this ud man behind me, Darling~

Man I'm ¡.Qrn·? Wornan I s.aid 'dar!ing '~

Man BUlldon'lkno,,' You. Wom.an Al partics. I call1'\'er:-'one 'darling', darling.

Man Oh, Wornan Ho,," are you?

Man I 'm \'cr:-' depressOO, Wornan Never mind, Ha" e a drinL:..

Man My unde died lasl ,,"eek, I .... enl 10 hn funeral . Wornan I hale funerals. J never look good in black,

Man Mr ",-ire lefl me on Ihe day before Ihe funera l. Wornan Really. Ho,," imeresting. J say! He looks \'er:-' sman!

,,'hose husband's Ihal' Man /11)' "'ue ,,"cm off"ith my besl friend,

Wornan Do you ¡ike Ihe colour of my dress? Jt's prelPi, nn'l il?

Man Yes, On Ihe way back from the funeral, I had a car acciden\.

Wornan "'hat colour was the car? Man JI was red.

Wornan 1 lo\'e ¡he colour red, don', you? Man 1 red so londy. No one listcns 10 me,

Wornan H~ Miranda. l'm soTT"Y, darling? lbat ""as MiTanda. Docsn '1 MiTanda look 100'cly?

Man J ""as s.a.ying no onc lislens 10 me. Wom.an 1 kIlow, darling . , . um . , , bul me wcalher's good

for Ihis lime of\'ear.

Wom.an M~

Wornan M~

Woruan

Wornan M~

Woruan

People don'l undersland. Life is so sad, \\'c're all going 10 die in Ihe cnd, Rcally? Do you likc Daphne's ne"," hairsryle? JI'S al) righl, J supposc. Ilove Michclangdo, don't you? Yes~ Have vou loCen the Piela al SI Peter's in Romc? SI Pcter's? Oh, no, darling, Michdan!!;elo's hairdrcss­ing salon is in SI John's Wood, Landon. !t's nOI ea5)' 10 make Daphne look prelry, bUI Michelangdo can do il. Hc's an anisl. you kilo ...... llike lalking 10 you. You're ¡he rirst person " 'ho's e\"Cr )istened la me, That's because 1 UIoC Ihe SnUJII Ta/); ManWl f. 1 reel you really undersland ..... ha! I'm s.aying . . do you know, many years ago. Daphne, darling! You look so prel(\' - J jusI lo\'e rour ha ir. Ycs. The Snwl/ TalJc. ,lfnnuaf - il really \\'01'1>5.

HeJlo. daaaaarling!

4 STEREOTYPES

A FIRST IMPRESSIONS

Bcroard \'alerie! The roor is leakin~ badh' in lh{" ~milJl bed, room.

V:alen<p: I kIlo\\'. J menlioned Í! 1a51 nighl. Beruard -BUI my eridel equipmem is gellin.e: ruined' Valene \\'e'd bener ask¡.Qmcone lO look al il.

B<p:ruard h's so diffieuh 10 flnd a good buildcr Ihese days. Ano i¡'JI probably COSI a fonune.

V:al<p:n<p: \\'e mighl be able lO fmd someonc JocaL ",ho's nO! 'tOO expensi\'e. Pcrhaps some-one "'ho works on his O"TI ... HeTe's one mat loob good .

• •• ~1r Mon !\!r \\'ilson? Good afternoon. I'm Adrian MOII. I

undersland you'l'e gO! sorne problems ,,';Ih your roof ... Good aflernoon. )'ou mu~! be Mrs \,'¡¡¡.Qn, Vel)' plea5ed 10 meel yOU. \\nal a charming house you have!

Valeri., Thank you. Mr Mon So, .... ·hat !.Cems 10 be lhe- lroublc? Beruard \\'el!, \\'e have a leaking roor AlI m~' erickel equip­

ment is genio!; ruined. Mr Mon Oh, are vou inlcreslcd in crickel, Ihen? Beruard 1 eenain'!y amo Isn'! ever:-' Englishman? h's in OUT

blood. Mr Mon Absolutely. So hav{' you fol1owed Ihe maleh againsl

Sri Lanka ? Bernard 1 cenainly hal'e. \\'el! , some of Ihe lime. Mr Mon I Ihink England may ,,"in. don'l you? B<p:ruard Oh, 1 'm nOI SUTe abaul mal.

Val<p:ri<p: ShaU we ha"e a look al Ihe leak nO\<'? lli Mon By al! meaos, Lcad me way, So ha,," do you Ihink

E.ngland ""il1 do against Auslralia Ihis ,,'ínter? BU'1lard Oh, I Ihink Ihal could be a lough maleh. The

Auslrnli.am are "er:-' compel;li"e. Val.,n<p: So whal do you Ihin].;, Mr MOII?

Mr Mon I agrce ",ilh Bernard. E.ngland ,,-il1 have a dillicult time in Australia. Those Ausualians are a 101 or chealS,

VaJ<P:ri., 1 mean, aboul Ihe roo[ Mr Mott Oh, 1 see. Wdl, ¡['S difficull 10 s.a.}' whaf, eausing ,he

leal. h could be a numb<:r oflhings.

• • • Valui<p: So whal do you think, Mr Mott?

Mr Mott !t's difliculllO s.a.y, realiy. 1 can'¡ scc mueh from here, VaJ<p:n<p: "'cll, .... hy don't )'OU use Ihe ladder? What's

wrong, Mr MOI1? Is mere !.Omething .... Tong ",ith our ladder?

5

•

THAT'S ENGLlSH! 6 • TV TRANSCRIPTS

MrMoa ~o, no, il's jusI IhiU l"m nOl \"cry ... l usca 10 Ille m,· 0\\"11 ladder arouna ... ilh me. 1 mean, 1 aon't Ihin],; I"m insurea for Ihis son of ¡hin/O:. 1 coula g:et onc of my aloS~ts 10 have a loo\¡ laler . .l.ctually, 1 Ihin]'; 1 can $("e from here ... Yes, 1 Ihink it muS! be one of Ihe roof lilC$ o\'er mere.

Valerie BUI Ihe leak is o\'er ¡here. Mr Moa Ycs, weU. il qui le a fien happcm Ihal ,,·ay. Look. I

Idl ~'ou whal. 111 go orr no,,·, ana send you an esli· male for Ihe ..-or],;. BUI vou know, mis isn' t ~oin~ 10 oc cheap.

Bernard ;\""icc 10 meel you, Mr ~Io rl ... ;'\icc ehap. He\ Ihe SOr! ofman you can {ru!.!.

VaJu";e Hmm. I"m nOI w sure. Bernard He·s from an ola, e~lablished eompany. Valene Oh, look. ¡ {hink I hal'~ Ihe olhcr builder.

Bernard Good .e;rid~ Dale l"m Dale. Roofprobkms?

•••• Valf!nf! Oh. ~"ts. ¡hat"s ri!;h!. l'm w g!aa you coula come.

Dal .. LeI'S ha\"(· a loo],;. b 's Ihal flJ"SI·Ooor room . i5n'I il? Val .. n .. lt is. Howdid , 'OU kno" Ihal?

Dal .. \\·dl. I can $("~ wmnhiJ1~'$ "Tone; from hne. LeI'S ha\"(· a d oscr look .. . T houRhl so. lt ·s \"our rain,,·a· In pipes. ;\ced 3 ,,'hole nc,,' s\"Slem . CasI "Ol!

aboul Ihree hundred pounds. Valene Fine. \\"hen can you Sl3n?

Dale :\ Ionday. Beraard \'·ell. I don ·t thin],; mueh of him. Valene ,,'ha! do you mean?

Bernard l"m nOl quile sure. Th"fe was som elhing funn y aboul him. And he was a bil rude.

Valerie "·dl. he $("cms 10 kno" hilo job, B .. rnard BUI hc·]] be hcre "eXI ,,·c,,1.;. ",hen ,,"e' re al work. He

mi.r;:ln sleal somnhin;:-. Valerie Oh . Bemard!

Bernard \\"dl. hc has gOl an earrin.l!: and lallOOS. You ean·1 ITll SI pcoplc "ilh earrin~.

o o o Dale There you are. Mrs \ \"lIwn. Thal mi.l!:hl f~'\; il.

Bernard Th:ll'S RTeac So ha,,· muen do ,,'e o\\"e you for Ih;1\ job?

Dale Oh,IlO\nin~. male. OnlYlook me fi,·c minulcs. Beruard :>.losl bulldcrs ,,'ould (har~e a 101 for doin~ Ihac . Val .. n .. Or perhaps you (ould come o'"tr (or dinner n"XI

week? Dale Thal ""Ould be niee.

V.J..rie How aboUI ne)el \\"cdncsda\'? Beruard Ycs.""h\" don·1 you brin~ ~'~ur panner?

Dale Veah. sure. \\"e'lIlook fOr"\,'ard 10 lhal . See you. Valerie Thanh.

B .. ruard Bye ... Suen a niee ehap. BUI he docsn·, ,alk mueh. o o.

Dale Helio, Mr and Mrs \'·lIson. Tnis ~ Peler. Peler, Inis is Bentard and Valerie.

B THE SPANISH ARE, •

Street iotcrviews Lin A rypiea.l Brilish persan is rescrved, polile and

cmbllJ'T"USCa. Frank Brilish people arc mcan! 10 be rcse .... ·ca and

quiel , nO! loud ana excitable. 1 disagree - I Ihink Brilish pcop1c are li\'dy and friendly.

Sara ¡ would dew:ribc Ihe typieal Brilish persan as ralhcr fonna.l.

Mr Sa\lQders . . . '~f)' difficult 10 dacribe a ~"pieal Brilish pcnon. I ,hink Ihere are aU SOrt~. Sorne are ~hy, some are '~I)' OUtgoing, alI §Qns.

~ith 1 (hink Jonn Major is a ~"pical British male -strai~hlfor.,·ara, bUI a lillle bit dull.

Ma.n::eUa A Iypieal Britisn penon is well-mannerea, wcll-cln:ss.cd and \~I)' patrioüc.

Don't mue lOe laugb! Da.noy Thank you! Thank you! Thank you ,"tI)' mueh! 1 hope

)·ou aren'l expectin~ any jokes aboul racial Slerco· t)-pes? No, 1 don'l tdlJcwishjokes. Or Iruhjokcs . . -'\na ¡ espeeially don't Jike 5eotl ish jokes. You see, I'm Scottish m"w:lr. You kilo\\", people say Ihe Seottish are mun - Ih~1 Ih~' don'l ¡ü<e spcnding moncy - well. it isn' t true. For cumple, yesterday ¡ spcm fúty pencc. Oh, \"t~ ¡ did. I ",'cm lO !he hairdresscr's. I said lO Ihe hairdres$("r. 'Ho,," much is a haireut?' He said. ·!t ·s a pound.' So' Ihen [ saia, 'H o .... · mueh for a slta"c?' H" said, '.'\ sha\"e is fift)· pcnee.' So ¡ said, 'Ol\. . huc's fd,¡\" pcnee - sha\"e my head!' ' Herc·s ftfty penee. sha\"e m,: head!' And pcoplc laugh about rny Unde Rob. He w~s Seon;sh ana he died in the sccond "'orld \'·ar. You see. he had a hand grenade. He puned Ihe pin OUI of Ih'c hand grenade, but he didn'l wanl 10 IhrQ\" il awa,·! He dian·t ,,'anl la Ihro\\" a"'ay Ih e hand ~en~de! You kno\\'. al Chrnlmu wr ha"e Chrislrnas ;rees in ou r houses, Do \"ou kilo" ho,,' "ou can Id! ",he n it 's summer in Se'otland? "'ell, j'f you see a ScOlsman Ihr()\<oin~ a",·a\' his Chrntmas , ree, il·s probo abh' sumrner! If \"ou ~e ~ ScOtSman Ihrowing a" 'a~' his Ch~islma~ Iree. ;I'S probably $ummer~ BUI, you kilo\\" . 1 th ink II 'S ",rong 10 judge people befare you kilow them propcrly. Don'l you agrec? You do? Y~. T~e.\" mighl be ,·cl)· niee. No, wha l I .ah,·ays say IS •• " all umil ,·ou kno\\" a persan propcrly and Incn you ean disl ik~ them! ' Thank , 'ou \"c .... · mueh.ladies and gcntlc­meno You' \"c been a I;'onde,(ul audienc~. Cood ni~ hl.

ne ... d spo. J ohn That', (\,"0 bacon . eR.e; and ocans and IWO mu¡;tS of Ica.

lo\"e. 'Ello! "·deome 10 J onn's Cafc~ l'mJohn. E,~ryone is " 'deome here. ""hen \"ou dsil 1.ondon. makr sure you ';5;1 m,' cafe. "·e have "a big menu. Thcre's bacon and cggs . : . bacon, eggs and beans ... bacon , eRg~ and Chips. and ocans ... on tOMI! ~r bcans, \fe gel a I~I of forcign tOUrlslS hcre - e\"cryone u ,,·cleorne. The l.'aha?5 are I'en' wdeome. LaSt ,<'eek. \\"c had lo\s of IIa.l,ans Jl1

here. a~d il was ehaos. Th,,· " -e re arguing and shouting. TItey dian'l like rny corree. Th~' wal1led ~ghell i, but I ga''¡ Inem bcans on 10MI. BUI I Iü<c Ihe halians. They ha\"e ",'arm hea rts. I haye a 101 of Germans in hcre. The)' are \'el"\" weJcome. They're aJways ' ·CI)' precise and "el"\' neal. There were (wo Gc:rm.ans in herc Ihis momo ing: Thc)" Ihoughl my ca.fe ..... as diny, and I agrecd ";Ih Ihem. The)' didn ' t like Ihe dirt on the lable ana Ihe chairs, bUI they likcd !he bacon and Ihe eggs. Oh, ~-es, ¡ 1Q\'c Ihe Gcnnans. , '\"e had Russians in hcre. I !Q\'c Ihe Runians. Thcy'rc w sad. The)' ef)' inlO m)' eggs and say lue is a traged\'. And J apancsc 10UrlsU afIen come 10 cal here. Once Ih~ ... ukcd me for bacon, egg atld noodles, I lo\"e IheJapane~ tourim. They lo,-e 10 take phologra~hs of my wife and me in rny cafe. S?metimes Seo.lIlsh 10uTisI' come here as weU. They m¡ght .... 2nt porric:igc, and they may say rny bacon ana eggs are too expcrWI'e, but as long M Ihey pay, C\"Cryonc is wdcome al my c.aJe ­John's Care.

Strf!et io.erviews lin .. friendly, oUlgoing and vel)' la.Ilali,~.

Fn.n.k . Iivd)', exeitablc: and friendly.

THAT'S ENGLlSH! 6 • TV TRANSCRIPTS

Meli$$a Wd l. ... \~~. r=d. Th~' wear long drcsSC"S. usually red, they ha,~ lots of eclebra¡w,ns. and ¡hey cal \~ry strong, spiced foaci.

David .. . is ...... rm, in\'emi\'e, fricndl~', '''''acious and good fuo 10 be ";Ih.

Keith . .. dighdy excitable aod eating lou of garlic.

Soag tizne Natio"ality Ha\'e \'01.1 IoCCO the man ";Ih Ihe old Khoollie? He'~ !i:~\ an umbrdla. he'i rest"n~d il.nd my. He docsn'\ likc -talkirlg " 'hen he'5 ..... a1kir1g so you needn'l ,~'

"'ho ean he be, Ihe man "llh ,he old Khool , ie~

He may be from Grcccc or German\'. He mighl be from Bclgium - don 'l ~·ou agree? He tould be Dan~h or Romanían. Dutch or Panamanian. :\0. he'i British - can '1 you S('e? Brilish is his nationalily.

Ha"e ~'o u seen ¡he ,,"oman " ;Ih Ihe long, black hair? She's proud and she'¡ " ubbom and she docsn'l care. She ean'l ¡IOP her lol ughler after Ihere 's no one Ihere. \\110 can she be.thc I,'oman "11h Ihe long, blaek hair?

She ma,' oc from Greee(' 01" Gerrnany. She mil!hl be from Behrium - dor¡'¡ you a,~Tee ?

She eould be Danish o r Romania.n. DUleh 01' Panamanlan . :\0. she's Spanish - ean'\ ~·ou st"e? Spanish is h('r nalion·. Spanish is her nalion·. Spanish is her nalionality.

5 THE BEST OF FRIENDS

A W E'VE BEEN FRIE NDS FOR YE ARS

Berttard \,'hal are you doing Ihis e\'ening? Valene rm ¡¡;oing 01.11 ";Ih .J"nila. Don '1 you rcmembn?

Berttard Xo one Iclls me anythin.lt. Valene 1 wld you lolSI "'ce\.:. \\'e're jusI going 01,1\ for a drink

and a chal. You can come along " ilh USo if you wanl.

Berttard XO. 1'11 b(' fin(' . 1'11 ~Iay in . Someone has 10 keep Gran company. She " 'ouldn't like lO be icft h('re on her O\,·n. She needs eompany. It', a lerribk Ihing. bein.'l loncly.

Valene Oh, helio, Gran. Ho" · are rou feclin g? Berttard Are you O K?

Gran Ves. I'm flll e. Valene rm lale. I mU~1 go, Voo needo't ,,-ait up for me.

Bye, darling. Bye, Gran. Have a nice c\'ening, both ofyou.

Berttar-d \\'dl , Gran, wholl lhall ,,~do Ih~ (\'('ning? \,'e can ha\~ a chal aboul old times. Or "''C can ha"e a game oC ards or.

Gran Thal's \'('ry Ihoughlful ofyou, Bernard. BUI ,'m afraid I 1<'0n'l be al home Ihis e\~ning, I\·c gOl 10

gel ready. Berttard Rcady? For ""hal? G~ I'm goin.'l OUI " ; Ih a frie ndo Goodnesl me, is Ihal Ihe

lime?

• • • Bernard [, il ... a ""oman friend?

G .... a No. BerttuU h 's aman, men.

GraD \'el, Bernard. It's aman. Berttard Whal 1 meam was, il', a man friend .. , ra¡her Ihan

~ wnm:m r"'; .. nrl . ifvou ~t'(: whal 1 mean .

Bernard 11 it anyone that 1 knov.·? Gran No. you ha"en'l mel him yet.

Bernard Ha,," long ha\~ you ~n sceing him? G~ Oh, for aboul a ""eeL Since IUI Sunday. aelUally.

Bcrttard 1 see. And hov.· cid is Ihis friend of yours.. 1 mean. lS

he': . . . around your agc? Gra.a He's youngcr Ihan me . His name is Frank. and I

don '1 " .. nt 10 be lale for him. Bernard No, of eoursc nOl. Ha"e a lo\'dy C\'Cning, Gran.

• • • Bernard \\'e don', kno'" an~1hing aboul Fram. Valerie Oh. Bernard. I'm sure Gran can Jook afier he~clf.

She's \'ery gro"'n·up. Bertta.rd J kno..- sh("s gro"'n·up. Th3.\'~ wha' I'm worried

aboul. 1 mean. where ar (' Ihey going 10 lonighl? \\nal willlhey do? \ \ nen \,ill she come back?

Valerie I'm sure Cran ,.ill be \'e~' sensib!c. She's a \ 'cr\, sen· sible persono . ..

Gran This is Frank. \'alerie and Bernard, Frank. Valerie Very pJcased lO meel yOu. Fran\.:.

Fra.nk h's rny p!casure. Berttard Good e\'min'l.

Fra.nk \'e~' ¡¡;ood lO meet you al las!. Bernard. I\·e bcard sueh a 101 aboul ~ ·ou bolh

••• fra.nk \\'ell, il'~ been "ery nice me(' ling you. Goodbyc.

Good~'C , Valeric, Goódbye. Bernard. Goodb\'C! Valerie \\'d1. Gran. Frank seem~ \'('r-y nice.

Bernard Yes. Ve~' nice. 1 was \'e~' imprrssed. Gran Yes.

Vale ri e Bernard's been quilC \\orricd aboul \ '01.1. Gran . Ha\'en'l ~·ou , Bernard?

Berttard Oh. no, nOl rcaIly. Valerie Bernard Ihought Frank "as going 10 be a young

man , " 'ho was a fler your money. BUI he lookcd oIder Ihan you.

Gran He juSI scem~ older. He', aCluall~' ayear youngc:r Ihan J amo And he can', be after my money. He', aelually quite rieh.

Bernard R('alll'! Valerie \\'cll , ' lhal's n ice. :\nd is Ihcre a future in your rela·

lionship? Gran \\'ell , he hu jusI olsked me 10 marry him. ir Ihal\

",hal you mean. Valerie H;u he really?

Gran Yel. Bertta.rd Howexciling. How romamie.

Gra.a Yeso BUI I don'l Ihink I " i11. In fael , rm nOI sure if I'm going 10 scc Fr.mk any more. He'~ ralher nosy­¡¡Iways ",anling 10 I.now " 'hat I'm doing. And he n('Ver SIOp' lalkirlg aboul Drv. I ",'ouldn 'l get mueh peaee!

Bernard O h, good! I mean . . \\'dl , of eoune, you muS! mal:e lhe deeision yoursdf. Gran.

Gran Ves, J mus\. \\'e11. I 'm go ing \0 lhinl.: aboul il. Bernard. And Bcmard . . .

Be rtta rd Yes, Gran? Grao Picase don'l e.l.J! me Gran!

B G ETTlN G T OG ETH ER

Strel\'!t internf:W$ M.r Addisoa We've kno ..... n cach olher for fifly · th ree ycars,

and "'e 've t-occn married for rÚtr-Iwo years. . Frank I'\'e known my girlfriend for ayear and a half. Su. I \~ kno"n my partner now for aboul eighl years.

In fael, we ..... ('re gomg 10 ~CI married scven yca rs. arm hm Ihen I had a hah,' 'o ..... c didn'l V.-I m.l.r'

7

•

•

THAT'S ENGLISH! 6 • TV TRANSCRIPTS

David \,'e were marricd rÚleen yea~ a!/;o, so rve knOY>1l m~' wife for rÚlcen years no ......

Keith 1 havc known my ..... i{e {or ¡"'enty-sevcn years, and we'vc been marricd {or [\<o·enr .... - fi\"C: years. In fan, we eekbraled our siker wedding anni" ersary in junl! Ihis year.

Do.o'¡ lDa.kr I1l r la ugh ! Danny Than!: you! Thank you! Thank rou \'I!ry mueh! You

kno ..... , fOl!nds are important, arcn'¡ ¡he .... ? E\·er .... one should have {ril!nds. 1 love mv {riend$'o bUI 1 have a ver .... spccial friend, called Fid~. Fido has been li"ing ..... ilh me e\'er sine<: he .... -as a linle. baby do!tl1:y-Wo.!t~y­ha\'en'l \·ou. Fid,·-\\·idv-Bid\'? Yes. c\"c: I"\-bodv ne('ds a besl [ri~nd : and a d~g is ~ ma~'s be'sl fr iendo He deesn'l !/;ive .... ou ad\'jce, he nC\T r Iries 10 berro.", meney, and you den'l have 10 buy him a coal - hc's alread~' gel one! He's h3d em:: since he was bom! You know, a dog's haif? His eeal? Yeu den'l na\'e 10 buy him a eoal - he '$ a lready gOl one! He's had one since he "'as born! J IC\'e Fido. 1 don'l care ",hal an~'onc says - he's a fme !l:Uard dogo Vou know, ir 1 hear an\' noiscs in Ihe ni¡¡;hl. 1 wale him. and Ihen he SLarlS 10 bark. Don'l ye~ Ihink Ihal ;I'S imeresting Ihal man's beSI fricnd can't talk? 1 once heard of a do~ Ihal eould lalk. BUI ü's nOI possibk. If a dog e"er leUs you he can lalk. he's !~in.~. If a dog e\'er tells .... ou he can Ialk. hc's lying. O h. he's a ¡O\·eI .... dogo And hc's good company. You k.new. I\'e been playing eoo! " ilh him sincc he "'as liule. You probabl .... ,Ihink Ihal he's a \'er .... ck\'('t do):!; bccause he ean play chess, bUl he's not really cJc\'er. beeaus.c ",hen Fide and 1 play ehess, I usual ly "'in! L;suall:~ :\nd , no\\', ladies and gentkmen. iliall 1 sin.1t yeu a song? Yes! Thank ~·ou. I'd like 10 sing a lit· de son,!t I "'rOle mndf, all aboul fido . It's ea!led. 'E"e~'one needs someon<: to 10\'<:, someone 10 sharc <:\'<:rylhing with. e\'ery day. If e l'e~'body had some· body. somconc li!.:e Fido, Ihen <:\'('~,hin~ would be fine'. ':"fu~k , maestro, picase.

Th" ad SPo.l Voie"ovtr .] ha\'e gene forCI·er. Goodb~'e, Lo,'C.Jcremy: Do

~'eu \\'ant someonc IhJI you can deprnd on -someone thal \\'en 'llcl \'ou dO"T1~

WOI1la.D Yes, my bo:friend has I~fl me again~ Voie"ovtr :ve rdationships diffieu]¡ for you?

WOI1la.D I don'l IruSI anyone. E\'er)'ene ICls me dO"T1. Voic"ovtr Den 't you w;sh \'Ou had somcone le snare \'eur [ue

" iln? Oc ycu V:,,01 somcone Iha! you ean'depcnd on?

WOrna.D Yes, bUI 1 don't ..... anl somcone " 'ho looks al othcr wemen. I'm a \'e~' jealous pc:rson.

Voictovtr Yes, I under.>tand. Then ..... hy nO( go and s.ce Roy? Ifyeu ¡alk le Rey and tdl him ..... hal you wam. he will hdp you_ Roy will imrodu<:e you 10 someonc Ihat you ca.n depcnd on.

Ro.y 1 eenainly .... ·m. At Roy's P<:I Shop ..... e ",ill fmd Ihe righl ¡xt for )'ou. So if you're looking for someone Ihat yeu can depc:nd en - .... ·hy nOI come and meel Re\'er? Vou can truSI Rover. He'l! ah"a~'S be there .... ·h"n you gel home, He'tI never le\ you down, Rovcr ..... on'l go fer .... -alks .... ilh othcr women, .... ilI you, Rever? No! He ..... on·1 take your beSI friend OUI to dinner while )'ou are vislting rour mOlheT. Oh, no! Ro\'<: r will never lel you dO .... T1. So ..... hy nOl coml! lO Rey's Pel 5hop and meel Ihe friend er )'our dreams?

S~rt inttmeW$ Frank J usually meet my {ricnds in the pub, 01' \\'C gil

to the cinema 01" Ihe Iheatrc 01" ¡he foe lball maleh,

Mrlissa 1 gel togc¡her y.; th my {riends at a local disco., MareeUa 1 gct togclhcr ",i lh my friends at local pubs 01'

nightdul»,

••• lli Saundtrs 1 ha\'e a 101 of friends ..... ho are .... ·emen, bUI

enl\' have ene ..... ife. David 1 thin!.: men and ..... omen can be friends, but 1

don'l Ihink il's the same son of friends hip as between men and m en, and ..... omen an d ".-omen,

M ilrCdJa I\-e gOl a load effriends, girls and boys, bUI the boys aren't boyfriends.

So.ag tirnt H4VtJ! lll littlti! d"'" k For an hour el' se 1\-c been ..... atching )'ou, You\-c beco siuing alone al a labk for rwo, :--lo ene has come, yeu'\'e gel nOlhing 10 do. \\'cU me, I'm \>-ailing, I'm ..... aitin¡::- fer someene. 100,

\\'on'l yeu ha\"(: a link drink wilh me? I could kcep you eompan~-. I could make you fcd beller. Ir you need te e~',

. 1 ..... ant 10 hear your [ire hisle~·.

\\'on 'l you ha\'e a link drink, $a!' 'ehcers '? J ust Unti! your friend app<:ars, \,'e eeuld Id] a fewjckes as Ihe lime ,!toes by. Y<:s. we could lau~h a\\ .. ,· ever'\' I<:ar , Yes, "-c (euld laugh awa~' eve~' leal".

6 TRADITIO NS

A W E HAVE A LOT T O BE PROUD OF !

Val"rie 1 gOl a phone calJ fromjessiea loday. Buu ard J<:ssica? Valtri t Your s<:cond ecu~in . ¡he one ..... ho live~ in America.

Bernard Oh. jessiea. Yes, l'\'¡;: h<:ard of heT. l'\'e ne\Tr n¡<:1 . Iier, thou)!;h. \fhal's she de ín!!:?

Valerit 5he's a studem and she's <:oming O\'cr 10 England ne)(1 memh. She ",ants 10 sta)' ",ilh IlS fcc a fc'" days.

Beruard Greal. Valerit 5he sa:'S she's \'ery imcresled in hislo~' and tradi­

tion. 5he "'am! 10 have a [ook al some En¡¡;lish tradi­uons.

Btruard \\'dl , I'm nOI surpriscd. Thcy haven't gOl many tra­ditions in America. They haye Greworb en the 41h ofJuly and Ihat's it .

Valerie That's nOI quite Ime, Bernard. 6 trnard \,'elI , we've gOl a 10.1 le be proud e f in Ihis country.

\\'e have a gTeat histery and seme fine traditions most pcoplc take for gTanted. h's so imperlant lO understand your heritage. \Vhy don't ,,~ lale a fe'" days off ..... ork ..... hen Jessica is hece. \\'e could lake her 10 sorne oflhe typicallr Engiish plaees.

Valent Ves., she might like Ihal. Beruard We eeuld work eut an jtinerary. \Ve ean go 10 Ihe

Tewer of Londen , where you ean show her the Becfeater.> and Ih~ Crc'..-n J ewels,

Valen e Do you know, l've never becn le the Tower of Landon.

8

THAT'S ENGLlSH! 6 • TV TRANSCRIPTS

Beraard I don '1 Ihini: m~n~' English peoplC' ha,oc. WC' can go 10 C~mbridge. We (ould ICe Ihe King', CoJlege Ch~¡x-1. WC' could ';0 on Ihe ri,ocr in ~ boal and h~,oc ~ Indilional Engii5h le~ al GrantCnCSlcr. You imO\o'o', ,,"('\"(' gO( a 101 10 be proud of in this couml')". r" e gOl a brill ianl idea! \\"e could take her 10 me Henley Regaua and wc eould lai:c a hampcr and sorne !>tu wocrriC't..J cuica ..-¡¡llove Ihal-

••• Jessiea I'm so e"eiled . I'\"e .Iways dreamed of see ing

Enl{land. Beraard You probably Ihoughl ,,·c li"ed in a lillle eOllagc

" 'hich had I Ihalehed roof and roses gro"in!; 10111

o\"(' r il. )e55iea :\0.

Beraard Or did , 'ou Ihinl; we li\'ed in a manor hou">C or a ClsllC' "i;h a moal and a drawbridge?

Jessiea :\0 . I didn·1 o:peel 10 see lnighls al Ihe airpon d lher.

Beraard " ·("\·e worled OUI a wonderful idnerar)" for vou. Th(" flrsl place v.e're going 10 visil is Cambridge, and IhC'n ,,'c're Roing tO Ihe Hcnlcy Reg:ana. \\"e' re \isilinll!; HarTods and Ihe T o,,·cr of London. And on ~·our final d~y. ,,·e· l'e 1!;0in.1I!; 10 go 10 a medieval ban­quel.

Jessica That !oOunds really interesting. BUI is il fol' .-\menean tourim?

Beraard There are !oOffiC .\mericans. Jeuiea I don't ,,·am 10 meel American lourisu..

Beraard Thcre are japancsc and Gennan lOurisu. as well. Jessiea Do \ 'ou !.no,,· ,,·here ShefflCld is?

Beraard It ·s 'up in thC' nonh of England !oOmewhcre. I don'l Ihink Yol.l·1l find an~,hing imcresling up Ihel'e.

Jessica There 's an induslria:! mu">Cum r ... : heard about. I'd 10\"(' 10 IoC'C il.

Bemard An indUSlri.ll muscum~

j"ssica l'm inler~lcd in how real pcople li,·cd. 1 mcan ordi­nary pcoplC'.

••• Jessica I\·e Iraeed Ihe family bacl eight gener.lIIions.

Beraard Ha\'e ,·ou rca!h-? \\"dl done! j"5$ica I Ihin~ our {a~ily has a SI ron!; cuhurc and tradition

Ihal goes ,,·ay back iOlo hislory. Bernard Oh. good. ' Valerie \\'ell. lellus . . Jenica \\·d l . riru , II1i5 sid(' of Ihe family .. ere from

Grimsby. B~raard f rom where? Jessica From Grimsby. ln Ihe nonh·casl ofEngtand.

Bema.rd Grim~by~ Jes,ica for O\-e l' 1\'>·0 hundred years thcy wcrc fiShermen.

Bemard Ho,,· inlercsúng. Jessica On thi, sidc o{ lhe {amily, Gre;u-gTeal-great-grcal'

greal-grca l-~eal · Unde J ol"ln ..-orked in the lextilc indu"~· in Manchcster. It ";¡S righl at lhe !.Un of Ihe induslrial re\"Olulion. And you !:.no,,· ,,·hal? He bceame a Shai:cr and emigralcd 10 America.

Ber"llard He bc::came a ,..hal? Jess ic . .. \ Shaker. Thal "'aS his religion.

Be:rna.rd Ho..- "(1)' odd. Jusica II's!oO inleresling, don't yol.! thinl?

Bemard \\"ha[ is? Je55ica \'·ell, on Ihe one hand, Ihcre's rcligion, and on me

olher hand . ¡h('re's lish! Don'l )'OU .. aOl 10 eomc "ilh me 10 Grimsby and discO\'e:r your {amily her­itagc?

Bemard \,'cJl , franldy.J~siea ... 1 don'llhink Ido,

B CHRISTMAS AND CASTLES

Street mtervie_ Sara 8ccausc 1 don' l coolc., I eelebralc Chrmm..;u b"

ill\'iling alJ Ihe ncighboun inlO OUt housc fo~ champagne eocktails in ¡he moming, and lhen ... ~ go 10 a hOlc:l {or lunch. Mueh casicr - no .... uhing up.

Melis,. I cc:lebrale Christmas around lnc Christmas ¡rec

Ch10e ... lou. o{ ptcscnu. D.vid 1 ,pc:nd Chrisun.u "';Ih my (amily. Wc ha\"C tw"O

childrcn . ',"e: ... ·rap up Ihcir prcsents on Christma! Evc. We: ope:n lhe pn:sents in ¡he moming. Then .... e ha,'e: a .... onderful. long mea! late in Ihc aflemoon, and I'm afraid !oOmelimes 1 drinl; a bil 100 mucho Bu! ,,"(' al! cnjo)" II \·el"\· mueh. espccially mc. .

• •• Pecer- \\"e all sing Auld Lang S~"Tle al midnighl, have a

10asl logelhcr and cclebrale the Ne ... ' 't'ear com­mg 111 .

ChJoe ,,'hen ¡¡·s 12 o'clocl; on Nc ... · 't'ear's E\'e, wc .1::0 round and lciss C'-"CI"\·bod,'.

Mr AddisOD In Ihe norlh of En"gland. ,,·here I come from . ~ew Year is eclebrated b .. a ceremon .. Ihat \n:· calJ 'fltsl fOOling' , Ihat is·1O sav, a da~k·ha¡red man ,..ill be Ihe· (lnl to pUl his ' fool insidc "OUT door as lhe :\e,,· \'ear cnlen, and he .. ill bring "i!h him Ihree gUu. He .... ill bring a lillle bread, so Ihal you·1I nC'--er be hun~·, a linle:: coa! for ... cal¡h and a lillle sa.h for good heal¡h.

Doo'e make me ¡augb! Danny Ilo\"C Ihc Brilish Iradilions., don't you? Ves. ¡"oc juSi

comc baelo: from a lradiiional Brilish holida\". Ycs. i¡ ... ·as ,-el'}" Iradilional - we .... em tO Spain. \\'e had a I~a­dilional British holiday - in Spain! T hank you , madam. Yes, lraditions ... ~1y family, who are '"('l")'

tradiliona!, a1way5 do Inc samc: Ih ing e\'cl"}· Chrislmas. Fanl, ,..c a1 .... ays y:o 10 church on Chrislmas moming. Sccond. ""C ah,·a~"S ha\"C a big dinncr - rOim lurkey ";Ih eranbcrry sauce. Third, we alwaY5 wau:h (hc Qu~en 's specch. whieh i5 on Icle\ision in Ihe af¡cr· noon. f ou n h, we ah" ays play sll ly games in Ih c ~\·ening. 1 rcally like Chrislmas, bUI Ihcre's onc Ch rislmas Iradilion which 1 don'l like - 1 a!ways spc:nd 100 much money on prcscnn! M r ... ife and I had a ... cdding Ihal "'as \'cry oId·fashioncd. Very Ira' ditional. She looked beautifu!. drc»cd all in ... ·hilc. 1 said 10 her aflcn-·uds. '\\'cll, did you cnjoy the ,,"Cd· ding, dear?' And she sald, '\\'cll, yes, on (he onc hand, 1 die! enjoy it , bUI on Ihc olher hand, 1 ¡hinl I'U do il difTcremly nCXI lime!' Shc said, '1 think l 'U do il difTer­enuy nut lime! ' \\"e:II, Ihanl you! Than!:: you, ladies and gcntlcmcn. Thanl you. And now for a !oOng!

The ad 5poC

MrTeacher üfc in Ihe old days. \,'l1al was itliJ;c? "'hat did wc usc 10 do be{are "'"C had lclc\'ision?

Mn T eacher How did pcople ¡¡ve ... imoul cook"n or crmral hcating?

Mr Teaeber ~I we:ekcnd, we: ¡oolo: !hc {amily 100ldlicld Cutle 10 fUld out.

Mn T eaeber Oldficld Castlc: is educational and fun. Mr Teaeber We leaml about Inc pcople who lived in Ihc

eUIJe many )-ears ago. \\'c speO! Ihc whole day!here:.

9

MnTeacber

MrTeacber

"""""-II ~'Q .o r:ducauonal~ And OUT childrcn lcaml • loe about Briti$h traditions, didn', Ihey, dar· lin&? Wc JaVo" a kilchcn ... ·hich ..... as fou r hundrcd ycan oId.

MI'$ Teacher y("', J anc W'a$ imcn:stcd in Ihe dcmonstrat ion of rncdiC\'a1 cooking.

Mr T"ache:r John was more inlcrcslI:d U, Ihe w.ords. They u~d 10 Ii,¡;ht .... ;Ih swords in the old days.

Mrs Teacber BUI J anc didn', lile John hitting hcr ..... iln a , w'Ord.

Mr T eacher !':o, j anc ,,'15 \'cry imcrcsu:d in Ihe c!OI:hes tha! Ihe ...,omen uloCd w w("ar.

Mrs Teacher Shc w¡OIed 10 kno\\" why Ihey dido", wcar

MrTeach .. r Mr5 Te.ener

Mr Teacher

M n Teache r M r Teacber

Mrl Teacher Mr Teacher

Mrs Teacber MrTeach e r

M rs Teac be r

Mr Teacher

M n: Teacber M r Teacbe r

M rs Te acber MrT" aeber

Mrs Teacbe r

]Cans. And thcy said Ihal mere 's a ghosl al Ihe Glst!c. Al nighl. a .... ·oman wha h.ls hcr hcad undcr hcr arm ",alb around ¡hc c¡ntlc. YC5. and thcnJohn tried 10 CUI orrJanc', hcad ... ilh a s,,"ord. BUI luclály Oaddy ,,'as ablr 10 stOp him. \ '"(' sa,,' Ihe dungcons which [hey uscd in Ihe old days. AndJ ane 10dedJ ohn in Ihe dun.'leon. The ~urj¡)' guard ",ho worked Iher{" "'as \'("I)'

angry. BUI j¡ "'as eduCillional" :\nd Oldftdd Casde has a shop, We had 10 buy Ihe .children 101' of min~ in Ihe ~hop.

Posleards and fla.~5. books, penób, rubbers and nOlepads. It was eduealional bUI r;llhcr expcnsi\'e. And on Ihe way hom{" "'e SIOppcd for a tradi· ¡ional En,lllish eream lea, whieh .... ;u dclighlful. ümil J an{" was siek in ¡he caro OldflCld Castlc is fun for Ihe ,,'holt" famil\·. ",o. l"0¡ ¡he " 'hole family. \\"{"'re .'loing la Oldficld Caslle again sorne time , bUI we'lI leal'CJane andJ ohn al home.

Soug cinte Tradition H{" lin::5 in a coumry hous<: or two or Ihrcr. He has breaJ¡(asl and lunch and aflernoon ;ea. He', pan of our ruuon', hislot\·, Ralhcr him Ihan me! .

He', gOl 1015 of money, lt eosls a 101, To lil'e in a casde and lO keep il hOI, To par a11 the pcople ... ho look afler ... hal he's gOl, I would ramer nOI.

Yes, mey'r{" Ih{" uppcr cla~s, ¡he amICHac)", NO( middle das.s or ","Orking dan lile you or me, \\'e go round Iheir Slalc!y homo lO ~ our hislorr, The}"re ¡he British uppcr dasscs, The arislocracy, The)"re Ihe Bri tish upper c1a.uct, The aristocr:acy.

Stred intemeWli Frao.k Ycs, 1 think Britain should ha\'e a Royal Family. It 's

good ro r Ihe t radil io n o f the country. h a llraclS tourlsm, whieh brings money inlO Ihe coumlj' and jobs for me pcople.

Sara 1 mink " 'C should han" a Royal Family. l lhink il'S pan of our u'adiuon, OU T hcrilagc, and 1 don'l Ihink "'C should 105C them.

Melina 1 think Brita in ,houldn'l have a Royal Family becausc they u kc up lOO much money.

David 1 don' l really think Brita.in , ho uld ha"e a Roya l Fa mily any more. l lh ink it's a bit old·rashioned 00"'.

MueeUa I do think Britain should have a Royal Family, becaust ,,'C've gol a lot of history, and Ihe Royal Famijy is pan of tha¡ history.

7 SUPERSTITlON

A To ueH WOOo! Valerie Ha,," did ¡he inlen;e'" go?

Beruard They'\"e offered me lOme- fredanec " ork. Valerie Creal!

Beruard I'm ..... orned. , don't Ihink , ,,'am tO ~o fre-danee_ don't ,,"am 10 give up tnc !>Ccuriry of my prescOl jobo

Vale rie You said ~'ou're borro ";Ih your jobo Beruard J'm borro, bl.1! at lca~l it 's sccurc. If you "re freeJance.

you n("\'cr mo..- ..... hal thc fUlUre ,,'ill nold. Valerie Somelimcs \ '00.1 ha,·c 10 take risks.

Beruard Valerie. ~'O~ mighl have nmieed Ihal I am nOI onc oflifc's !{Tcal risk-Iakers.

Valerie Then ,,"hy are you smoking? Beruard I don '1 kno ..... ir 1 should lake Ihe job or nOL Valene "'rite down ' all the good thing5 aboul [i:oin!1; free­

lance, and "Tile aJlthe positi\"e Ihin~ abaul slayin.'l in Ihejob.

Beruard Thal 's a good idea.

• •• George \ \·hat's "Tong "ilh you?

Bernard l'm eo nfused. \\"hal should 1 do? " ve tried ¡he ' Chingo Thal .... ·as no good.

George \\bat did;1 u y? Bernard It said, ir ~'O\l ..... a.m somelhing" you must be paliem.

BUl lnen l ,don'l mo ... ir I ..-anl 10 change- my jobo 1 WCOl lO scc Rosic's fricnd ... ho '$ an al.lrolo~er.

• •• Asuolo!;er \\·cl!. Bernard ... h's hard la say." you could be

happy in ~'Ou r ne-w joh. O n Ihe- othe-r hand, you could be unhappy . .. as \\dI as happy.

• •• Bernard h might rain. There mignl be lOme suony inlcrvaJs.

Or il mi.'lht be ¡nuoder and lighming. George That's Englisn '."Ca.lher!

Remard 'Iried Ihe urOI ards. Geo rge \\'hal did Inc cards teU vou?

Bemard T hal!he onl)' cen ain ili ing was dcath, but I kne-w Ihat a1ready,

George You mow, Bcmard, you WQIT)' 100 mucho Remard If only , ("Quld S(C inlO thc fUlUre, then , wouldo '¡

woff)'. Geors:e Somcone once said, life is lile a vc!)' high bridgc,

and Ihe scerct of lire is 10 walk across the bridge " ithoul fear.

B"mard Yes, ",ell, 1 prd"er 10 go the long way round. , ¡hink "'alking aeross a high bridge .... ;Ihout fear is prclry l !Upid. , necd a signo

Geor&e A lign? Remard A black cal, a d rcam, a b roken mirror. ¡'m supcrsli-

tiow. George Why nO! IOSS a coin?

Bemard Do you Ihink thal's thc answcr? George Why nO!? üfe is full of chanceo

10

, THAT'S ENGLISH! 6 • TV TRANSCRIPTS

Beruu-d Ycs, Of course, That's a brilliant idea. Shall I 10SS

the eoin? 2'\0, you tOS$ thc coin ... no, 1'11 •.. George I'!] toss thc eoin. Hcads or lails?

Beruu-d Shall l ha"e hcads or tails? 1'11 ha,oc heads ... ¡fit's heads, 1"11 change my jobo !-:o ...... ai, a minute, 1"11 have tails.

George It docsn 't maneT ir \"ou choosc heads OT tails. Beruu-d or (ourse it matte~!

••• Beruu-d Darling, 1"vc gOl ,,'onderful oe ..... s~ 1 got saeked

today, Valene \"hat?

Bemard I\'e lost my jobo Valene \"hat's happcned?

Bentard The principal callcd me inlO his office. He said that there "'ere wme camplainls about m~' work. My kc· lurcs "'CTe depressing the S111dents. The principal asked me \O kaw,

Val",rie Oh, no~

B"'ntard Oh, yes! ¡ \'e gOl. no choice. 1 ha\"C lO ¡ake ¡he free' lance jobo I"m so happy.

Valene Oh, Bemard. Beruard 1 kilo,," - r,'e been hdJ lO li,'c ";Ih.

Val",ri", \\"hal 's ¡his? Berna.rd te 's a Muneh primo This is Ihe picwre of aman " 'ho

is afraid 10 ..... alk across Ihe brid.~e oC life. lt wilJ remind me not lO be afraid \O \\"alk Ihe bridge. h will look .~ood m me Ji,mg room ...... :on·1 il?

Vale n e Why don'¡ we pUl it in ¡he haU"'ay? B"'ntard OK.lfI mO"e ¡his mirror, ¡he piclUre eould.,. Oh,

no! This is terrible! Valerie Don'l \\"orry. I ne\"er Jiked lha¡ mirror mucho

Remard I've broken the mirror~ Valerie !t was a chcap mirror.

Bentard \\nen ,'ou break a mirror. i¡'s se\"en \"ears' bad luek! Val",rie Thal'sjusI supcrslilion.

Bunard There musl be a reamn for ¡he superstilion. Val",ri", ~o. Bemard. There are no n:amllS for supcrstilions.

They're jusI irrational rears.

B HOROSCOPES ARE RUBBISH!

Stteec iotervie ws Mrs Addisoo \\'e don't rcad horoseopes bceause \\"e I~ink

Ihey're a load oCrubbish. LiD Ido read my horoscope beeau$C ¡ hope 10 read

good nc ..... ~ abou¡ my day. Howe\'cr, if il's bad news, Ihen 1 don'\ belic"\"e il.

Sara xo, 1 don't read my horoseopc, becaus<; loads of olher pcoplc read the same horoscopc~, so ho,," can it be Ihe samc for c,"cryone?

M",Lissa I read my horoseope only a\ Ihe end of the ..... eek to $Ce ifit's righl or no\.

Mare",lla I do read my ooroseope, bUI I'U only bclie,"e il ifil's good.

'IDe ad spot Worna.a Helio. Thaó a lot of money you have in your ...... al·

le\. Ma.a Yes, I'm taking rny family on holiday loda)'.

Woma.a On holiday! BUI loday is thc day of the big horse raee.

Ma.a The big horsc race? Worna.a Yes, Ihe Grand NatíonaL

Ma.a l'm nOI intercsted in hor>C raeing. I'm going on holi· day ,,-jlO m)' ..... ;re and ehildren.

Wornan Ves, bUI ...... hen )"ou go 10 (he taces, you can "m a 101

ofmoney. Ma.a I don't like bcnmg on hor$Cs.

Woma.a You don'l likc belting on horses? \'ñ~, nm? Ma.a 1 aI ...... a\'s lose.

Woma.a Ah, iyou bu\" Ihe Romany Lueky Charm, you're sure 10 ..... 1II.

Ma.a J don'l bclieve in lucky charms, Ihank you ver)" mucho

Woman You should bclie"c in lud.:,:, charms, sir. lfyou don'l buy (hc Romany Lucky Charm, there ...... in be a eur>C on your family for e"er~ h's only five pounds, sir. h \,illlook good on your sui!.

Mao A famil~' curse! Oh. dcar~ ,,"eU , I'd bCller buy a Roman~' Lucky Charm.

Woma.a Cood. Here are Ihe runncn and ride n for ¡he Grand !\'ational .

• • • WOIna.a You sce, Ihe Romany Lucky Charm realJy does

\\"ork. \\"hat aboul you, sir. \\'ou ld ,'01.1 like thc Romany Lud,:' Chann'

DOO '1 mue m e laugb! Da.n.oy Thank you. Thank ~·ou Are you superslitiou~? !"o? I

" 'asn'l eirhcr. No¡ umil las¡ Sunda\', 1 walkcd under a ladder, and I've had bad lud ever smce lhen - cver sincc 1 walked under (hal ladder. On !vlonda\", 1 ¡ook (he boal o"er 10 France. h was a disaster. It ...... as lem· blc! k won as wC Icf( lhe harbour. the boal started sink.ing. And do you kno\\" ",hal? The radio operalor didn ' 1 kilo,," ho\\" tO spell SOS. No, he didn '¡ kilo\\" ho ...... \0 spell SOS. Antllhen on Tuesday, I had more bad luck. I had a road accidento ¡ had (tle righl of \\"ay, bUI Ihe olher driver had a lorry, h \\"as a very bad aceidem . Bang~ Crash~ So I wem tO hospi(al in an ambulanee. BUllhc doctor in Ihe hospital didn 'l 1m.;!,,' anything aboul medicine. ~o, he lold me ¡hal he beeame a doclOr bccau$C he had bad handwTÍtmg. He beeame a doclor beeause he had bad handwriting! Then, on \\"edne!od;¡y, ¡he surgeon operated on me. 1 knew 1 was in !roublc as soon as 1 5aW Ihe su rgcon . You see, he was " 'caring a mask. He was wearing a mask so Ihal when things "cm "'rong, no one .....-ould kno ..... who he wa!i. 1\'0 one " 'ould kno.....- "ha he was if lhings ",enl "Tong .. .Iuld thinp d id go "Tong. 1 was in temble pain afler ¡he operalion. h ",as tcrrible pain. I cauJdn'l slccp [or days. Then 1 rmaJly gOl to decp .. , aod the nurse woke me up. She wQke me up 10 gi\"e me $Ome sleeping pil!s. She \\"okc me up 10 gi"c me some s1ccping pills! 1l1ank you VCI'\" much, Jadies and gentlemcn~ . .Iuld no\\". some jllg,¡¡ling'

SoDg time Bad, bad, bad, baJ luele Bad, bad, bad, bad lud:. Bad, bad, bad, bad lud. Bad, bad, bad, bad luck. J¡'s bad, bad, bad, bad luck.

¡fyou go 10 a party ",oere old friend~ meel , And Ihere are Ihineen al me tablc silÚIlgdo ...... n 10 cal, Be quid, ¡i¡ue baby, and leavc your seal, Or bad min~ ",ill happen before dmnrr's complele, 'Cos it's bad, bad, bad, bad luek. Bad, bad, bad, bad luck. Bad, bad, bad, bad luck. lt's bad, bad, bad, bad lud.:.

Jj

•

· THAT"S ENGlISH! 6 • TV TRANSCRIPTS

If \"Ou'n: .... 'alkUle: in Ihe 10" 11 pasl a long, high .... 'al!. A~d ~"OU sce a ladder JcaninJ1; aJ1;ainu Ihat ",'al!. Be quid., lillle ~~', I~ten 10 me eaJl, You'd ooter .... 'alk around it or that .... .u¡ is J1;Onna f311 , 'Cen ¡(s b::ad. hado hado b::ad luek. Rad. bad. bad. b;¡,d lud:. Bad.bad.bad.badluck. !t's had. hado bad. bad luck.

Bad.bad, bad, badlucL Bad. bad. bad. bad Iuek. Bad.bad.bad.badluek. 11'$ bad. bad. bad. bad luek. Supcrstition.

Scred iatervie_ Marcella 1 am sU~litious. bUI not \'C~. mueh. 1 bdk .... e .hal

you mouldn 't ",'alk under laddcn. Li..o I'm nOl: supcrsutious a bout an~,hing.

FraAk Yes, 1 am supcmilious. \\ben I play spon. I aJway .. .... ·ear thn.

Melin a I'm inlO supcmiüons, and whcnc--'Cr I sct: a magpie, 1 hal'c 10 ask my fricnd 10 dap my hand lO 13kc a ... ~~' the- bad ¡ud.

Sara !'o. I'm nOI al 311 $upcrstilious. David Well , if a blad cal erones your p;uh, th;u can be

"el)' unlueky. l f you fmd a horscshoc . • ha\ can be­"CT). lud .. y.

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