True or False?

The breadth of information you self disclose is related to the person with whom you are talking.

The depth of information you self disclose is related to the reason you are disclosing and the level of intimacy in the relationship.

Relationships

STAGES Initiating Experimenting Intensifying Integrating Bonding Differentiating Circumscribing Stagnating Avoiding Terminating

Are always changing Movement is always to

a new place

REVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEW

How do listening skills relate to healthy relationships?

What can happen when there are differences in communication styles and listening styles in relationships?

Four Personal Listening Styles

CONTENT ORIENTED: Focus on issues and arguments

PEOPLE ORIENTED: Focus on feelings and emotions

ACTION ORIENTED: Impatient and often finish speakers’ thoughts – tend to second guess

TIME ORIENTED: Prefer bulleted talking points quickly and briefly.

FAULTY LISTENING

Yes you can go to the concert, but I want you to call me when you get there, and I want you to take out the trash before you go, and you need to be home before 11:00 p.m.

I don’t think you understand what I’m saying.

I heard you.

I heard you say that you want me home by 11:00 p.m.

I heard what you said.

Here we go again with the trash!

Uh huh.

I heard exactly what

you said.

LISTENING

What do good listeners look like? Verbally Nonverbally

Listening is not a natural process. Listening requires effort (active not passive) All listeners do not receive the same

message. We hear uniquely different messages Physiological factors, social roles, cultural

background, personal interests, and needs.

Listening Stages

Attending –Mindfulness. Understanding/Interpreting Responding Remembering

Male and female intimacy styles

Cultural influences on intimacy

INTIMACY INTIMACY IN INTERPERSONAL IN INTERPERSONAL

RELATIONSHIPSRELATIONSHIPS

INTIMACY INTIMACY IN INTERPERSONAL IN INTERPERSONAL

RELATIONSHIPSRELATIONSHIPS

Intimacy

Physical intimacy Intellectual exchanges Emotional disclosure Shared activities

Characteristics of Self-Disclosure

Influenced by Culture Usually occurs in dyads Usually symmetrical Occurs incrementally FEW transactions involve high levels of self-

disclosure

Reasons for Self-Disclosure

Catharsis Self-Clarification Self-Validation Reciprocity Impression management Relationship maintenance and enhancement Control

Alternatives to Self-Disclosure

Lies White Lies

Equivocation Hinting

Face Saving

Perspectives & Tensions

ConnectionPredictabilityOpenness

AutonomyNoveltyPrivacy

Guidelines for Appropriate Self-Disclosure Is the other person important to you? Is the risk of disclosing reasonable? Are the amount and type of disclosure

appropriate? Is the disclosure relevant to the situation at

hand? Is the disclosure reciprocated? Will the effect be constructive? Is the the self-disclosure clear and

understandable?

MetacommunicationMessages (usually relational) that refer

to other messages: communication about communication.

CHARACTERISTICS OF CHARACTERISTICS OF INTERPERSONAL INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPSRELATIONSHIPS

CHARACTERISTICS OF CHARACTERISTICS OF INTERPERSONAL INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPSRELATIONSHIPS

SELF-DISCLOSURE IN SELF-DISCLOSURE IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPSINTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

SELF-DISCLOSURE IN SELF-DISCLOSURE IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPSINTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

A Helical Model of Relational Cycles(figure 6-3)

CLASS ACTIVITIES:CLASS ACTIVITIES:

Self-DisclosureSelf-DisclosureJohari Window Johari Window

CLASS ACTIVITIES:CLASS ACTIVITIES:

Self-DisclosureSelf-DisclosureJohari Window Johari Window