8/11/2019 Trust, Two 2014

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36 TWO . .

TRUSTAvoiding the Top 10 ways to break IT JOE MOXON

8/11/2019 Trust, Two 2014

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TWO . . 37

TOP TEN

TRUST

BREAKERS1 Exclusion:Excluding your love interestis a sure-fire way to break some o that trust.Whether youre telling private jokes aroundthem without explaining them or not invitingthem to movie night at your apartment, yourlove interest will eel like you dont want themin your lie.

2 Secrets:Being secretive is not advised. Itmay annoy you that your love interest wantsto read your text messages (that might seemlike they dont trust you), but when you lockyour phone and wont share the password, it

looks like theres something youre trying tohide.

3 Jealousy:Most people are going to get alittle jealous i their love interest spends theirree time with somebody else especiallysomeone o the opposite sex. Acting jealousmight lead your love interest to think youdont trust them, and youve got to give trustto receive it.

4 Stalking:Keeping tabs on your loveinterest by ollowing them around campus,or sending riends out to spy on them will gosouth when they find out what youre doing.Like jealousy, this displays lack o trust onyour part.

5 Not sharing your feelings:Youdont have to wear your heart on your sleeve,but just like you, your love interest needs toeel needed. I you arent willing to share theway you eel, you arent displaying much trustin your love interest. Your love interests eel-ings are his or hers to share, not yours. It takestrust to share the way youre eeling. Dontviolate that trust by sharing with others whatyoure told in confidence.

6 Lying...duh.

7 Not doing what you say

youre going to do:Integrity istrusts middle name. Do what you say youlldo when you say youll do it. Otherwise youlllose credibility, and trust crumbles soon afer.

8 Cheating:Tis one should seem prettyobvious, but cheating is more than just hook-ing up with someone other than your love

interest. Remember: Whosoever lookethon a woman to lust afer her hath (cheated)with her already in his heart. (Matthew 5:28)Words to live by.

9 Hostility:rust is about eeling saewith someone else. Abuse o any kind is neverOK.

10 Having low trust:Tis has alreadybeen mentioned, but trust is a give-and-takeprocess. Give your love interest the benefit othe doubt. Listen when they have an explana-tion or an offense. reating their behavior as

suspect doesnt instill trust.

EARNING

TRUST BACKProessor o amily lie Rick Miller said, Teway to build trust in a relationship is by bothpartners being trustworthy. With thispattern o consistent honesty, integrity anddependability, partners develop a trust oreach other. Tey dont expect each other tobe perect, but they learn that their partneris dependable and worthy o their trust.

Proessor o amily lie Jeffry Lar-son cautions not to merely grant trustto a personthey should earn it first.

rust is on a continuum: zero to10 not black and white. And, youmay trust a person in one area (e.g. beingtrue to me) but not trust them in another(e.g. staying to a budget like agreed).

You may have noticed that you oryour love interest have stubbed yourrespective toes rom time to time withone or more trust trashers. Maybe yourlove interests trust in you is waning, andmaybe you deserve it. Fortunately, thereis a silver lining: you can get trust back.

Miller said that trust can be regained. Iyou violate your love interests trust, its yourresponsibility to earn it back, but you dont

have the right to demand it. Youve got towork or it, and that may take some time.

rust is developed by a consistentpattern o dependable, honest behavior,Miller said. Consequently, rebuilding trustrequires the patience o both partners.

Larson agrees, and said, A sincere apol-ogy starts the process, and a commitmentto be trustworthy in the uture.

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