“I saw theangel in
thestone ~
andcarved toset it
free.”Michelang
elo
WELCOME
“AWAKENING THE GIFTS WITHIN”
CREATING A CULTURE OF CARING
HOUSEKEEPING
Bathrooms
Refreshments
Lunch
Cell Phones
From the Family Virtues Guide
“Idealists dare to have big dreamsand then act as if they are possible...Idealism does not mean that you arean idle dreamer. Idle dreamers just
WISH that things were better.Idealists do something to
MAKE things better.“
WHO ARE THE PRESENTERS?
Terry Rahn &
Valerie Hess
Master Facilitators of The Virtues Project
What is The Virtues Project?
A global grassroots initiative that is transforming the cultures
in homes, schools, organizations and communities, through awakening virtues, the gifts of character.
4 Key Principles
The parent is the primary educator of the child.
Children are born in potential.
Their natural qualities can develop into positive or negative traits depending on how they are educated in the early years.
Character develops as children learn to make responsible, moral choices.
Self-esteem is a natural outcome of living by virtues.
What are virtues?
What’s good in us
The gifts of our character
The qualities of our spirit
Our inner strengths
Virtues: The Gifts of Character
AssertivenessCaringCleanlinessCommitmentCompassionConfidenceConsiderationCooperationCourageCourtesyCreativityDetachmentDetermination
ReliabilityRespectResponsibilitySelf-disciplineServiceTactThankfulnessToleranceTrustTrustworthinessTruthfulnessUnderstandingUnity
DiligenceEnthusiasmExcellenceFlexibilityForgivenessFriendlinessGenerosityGentlenessHelpfulnessHonestyHonorHumilityIdealism
IntegrityJoyfulnessJusticeKindnessLoveLoyaltyModerationModestyOrderlinessPatiencePeacefulnessPerseverancePurposefulness
Every Child Is Born In Potential
Just as a seed is aspecific tree inpotential,
a child is a particular,fully independent human being, in potential.
Virtues
Is it ever too late?
NO!!
It is never to late to begin applying these strategies and achieving amazing results!
Nor is it every too early…
Is this an add on curriculum?
NO! This is not one more thing to add to your day. You infuse the strategies into what you are already doing.
Will my kids think this is dorky?
Maybe
Humor is one way that adults and kids become comfortable with the language.
Hang in there!
What are the goals for this workshop?
To awaken your virtues
To teach you to see these gifts in others
To have you experience the 5 Strategies
To inspire you to apply these strategies in your professional and personal lives
What are our expectations?
Follow the directions for each exercise
Finish activities within allotted time frame
Follow the boundaries that we establish
The A.R.T. Of BoundariesAssertiveness
Respect
Trust
Do what is right for you
Be deeply present withoutadvising
interrupting rescuing
criticizing teasing
Be worthy of trust. What we say here stays here.
INTERACTIVE INTRODUCTION
1. Pick one partner.2. Choose who will be partner 1.3. Partner 1 ask partner 2 all the questions, listening for
their virtues.4. Partner 1 acknowledge partner
2 for virtues you saw and heard. VIRTUE + EXAMPLE = VIRTUES
ACKNOWLEDGMENT
Did you remember to write the virtues you saw on each other’s gem tags?
What did youappreciate about
this activity?
What do you hope
to gain from this workshop?
THE HISTORY
• 1991 • Three people• Response to school shooting and
youth violence in the US• Began as a parenting program• Virtues the common thread• Soon discovered universal
application
Dr. Dan PopovLinda Kavelin-Popov
John Kavelin
THE FIVE STRATEGIES
• Speak the Language
• Recognize Teachable Moments
• Set Clear Boundaries
• Honor the Spirit
• Offer CompanioningTM
CONGRATULATIONS!!
You have alreadypracticed all five
strategies!!
• Speak the Language
• Recognize Teachable Moments
• Set Clear Boundaries
• Honor the Spirit
• Offer CompanioningTM
SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF
VIRTUES
Name a Virtue
Encourage Mastery
Encourage Meaning
A Rainbow of Respect
Create Visual Symbols
When to Speak
theLanguage of the Virtues
Speaking The Language
How to Give a Virtues Acknowledgement
How to Give a Virtues Guidance
How to Give a Virtues Correction
I see yourI honor you for yourI acknowledge yourThat showed a lot ofIt wasYou were being Thank you for
We need to be
You need to be
I need someone to be .helpful
Please beWhat would help you to beWhat would be aBe
kindnesskindnesskindnesskindnesskind of youkindbeing kind
in helping our new student, John.In the way you helped John.in the way you helped John.When you helped our new student.to help our new student.when you helped John today.when you picked up my papers.
to our new student.
while you wait for recess.
I dropped my papers.
kind
patient
friendlypeacefulkindcooperative
to John, no teasing.with each other.way to say that.
now.
ACTIVITIES
• Speaking The Language of Virtues (handout)
• Acknowledgement Card
ACT With TactTM
Make a virtues “positivity sandwich”
RECOGNIZETEACHABLEMOMENTS
TEACHABLE MOMENTS ARE…
• The opportunities to shine light on virtues being practiced (acknowledge)
• The opportunities to bring attention to virtues needed in a given situation (guide)
• The opportunities to call one another back to our virtues when we fail to practice (correct)
In Teachable Moments
Stop Shaming
Excellenc
e
Start Naming Virtues
What Destroys Conscience?• Shaming
• Name-calling• Beating or hitting• Over-protecting• Over-punishing• Ignoring effort• Lack of clear boundaries
What Builds Conscience?
• Naming virtues
• Clear boundaries• The opportunity for
reparation• Acknowledging effort
Habits that Break Conscience
Habits that Make Conscience
Shaming (Communicating worthlessness)DemeaningHumilatingSarcasm and cruel teasingName-calling or negative labelingBeating or hittingOverprotecting or excuse-makingUsing excessive punishmentIgnoring efforts to improve
Using Time Out constructively (e.g. Replace “Naughty Chair” with “Courtesy Chair”Naming virtues when you see them practicedCalling students to a virtue when it needs to be practicedListening to offenders’ points of viewStopping negative behavior and refocusing on the VirtuesVision statementGiving consequences when they are called forProviding the opportunity to make amendsNoticing and acknowledging efforts to improve
DARKEST MOMENT/SHINING HOUR
•Describe one of your darkest moments at work. What virtues were needed?
•Describe one of your shining hours at work. What virtues were involved?
•Give your partner a virtues acknowledgement.
ACTIVITY
RENAME AND REFRAME
ht side)
The Virtues PickPick a partner. Decide who will share first.
Share something about what’s up in your life at this time (good or bad).
Read your virtue card aloud and share how it is speaking to you.
Partner, companion in SILENCE with no cross talk.When first person finishes sharing, partner give VIRTUES ACKNOWLEGEMENT and write the virtues on their gem tag.
SET CLEARBOUNDARIES
Boundaries Keep Us Safe
Clear Boundaries are needed to stay on course.
•Clear boundaries are needed when we have a problem.
Clear Boundaries are needed to create a safe and peaceful learning environment.
Our boundaries are what we need to examine first, when we have a problem.
Do our boundaries address the problem? If the answer is “no”
SET A CLEAR BOUNDARY
•What virtues are needed?
•How do they need to be practiced? Be specific.
Boundaries are found in …
Vision statementsMission statements
Staff policiesDiscipline policies
Progress ReportsGroup rules
Fieldtrip rules
What Is Your Leadership Style?
One way to view authority and leadership is on a continuum of effectiveness from theleast effectiveness for learning and character development to the most effective.
Permissive
Slider
Dominant
Democratic
EducativeUnfocused
Boundaries are shiftingor non-existent
Climate: Chaos & confusion
Focus shifts from fun to control and backBoundaries are loose
and shiftingClimate: A mix of pleasantness
and chaos
Focused on equalityBoundaries are negotiable
Climate: A mix of unity& argument
Focused on controlBoundaries are punitive
and harshClimate: Control & rebellion
Focused on virtuesBoundaries are educative
& consistentClimate: Peaceful & enjoyable
IN OUR CLASSWE PRACT ICEFRIENDLINESS!
Create a Virtues-based Vision
At Emerson School,we dare to care!
We don’t put each otherdown. We lift each other up.
We treat ourselves, eachother and our school
with respect at all times.
Create a Virtues Based Vision Statement
At Emerson School weare to
and creating a
atmosphere in which tostrive for
CommittedTolerance Unity
Peaceful
Excellence
BoundariesCourtesy
Respect
Trust
Assertiveness
Follow directions and treat each other as you would want to be treated.
Listen to each other, fully present, without interrupting, rescuing, advising, comparing or teasing.
Hold all personal information shared among us as private during and after this workshop.
Participate in a way which is right for you. Share what you are comfortable sharing.
The A.R.T. Of BoundariesAssertiveness
Respect
Trust
Do what is right for you
Be deeply present withoutadvising
interrupting rescuing
criticizing teasing
Be worthy of trust. What we say here stays here.
Guidelines for Establishing Clear
Boundaries1. Be Moderate2. Be Specific3. Be Positive - Virtues Based4. Have Specific, Relevant Consequences5. Make Consequences Educative6. Be Consistent7. Communicate Rules Clearly8. Be Sure Consequences are Understood9. Make Bottom Line Rules Non-Negotiable10. Make Expectations Clear
BOUNDARY QUESTIONS ACTIVITY
• In groups of three, take turns asking, one person at a time, all of the questions
•When each person has finished answering the questions, both listeners acknowledge virtues you see in the person who shared
WRITING A BOUNDARY• Write a personal boundary for work and for home
• Remember, first identify the virtue that
is needed
• Next, write down a specific example of how to practice it
And when the boundaries are violated…
PRACTICERESTORATIVE
JUSTICE
In Retributive Justice You are a Detective
Asking …
•What was the crime?•Who did it?•How should they be punished?
In Restorative Justice You are a Mentor
Asking All Involved…
•What happened?•Who was hurt?•What virtues were needed?•What amends can be made?
Restorative JusticeNaming virtues, not ShamingMentorship, not Censorship
Reflection, not rejectionRestitution, not retribution
HONOR THE SPIRIT
WHAT HONORS YOUR SPIRITWhat brings you joy?
What inspires you?
What renews your spirit?
What gives you energy?
What Re-
creates You?
Honor the Spirit
Mastery
Mystery
Meaning
14th Century Samurai
“I have no magic secrets.I make character my magic secret.
I have no miracles.I make right action my miracles.“
Explore MysteryHonor Meaning
J ournalingSpirit WalksVirtues Picks
Sharing Circles
Simple Steps for Spiritual HealthCreate a Routine of ReverenceTake time every day for reflection.
Enjoy YourselfSpend non-compulsory time alone
and with people you enjoy.
Make Time for FriendshipFor listening and companioning, for being together.
Lead your life with IntegrityTell the truth. Do it now.
Expose yourself to BeautyBe in nature.
Spend time with the Arts.
Personal Virtues Shield
YourTotem
CoreVirtue
CoreVirtue
WhatBrings
You J oy
ChallengeVirtue
ACTIVITY
WHAT BRINGS YOU JOY?
OFFERCOMPANIONING
This is the strategy that you use when someone else has a problem.
Getting to theHeart of the Matter
Offer Companioning
Don’t Get Furious.
Get Curious!
Is Not Is
What It Is and What It Is Not
A Fix Walk AlongA Rescue RespectCuring CaringAdvice PresenceSympathy Compassion & DetachmentTelling ListeningVictim-based Virtues-based
THE PROCESS
1.Offer receptive silence
2.Ask cup-emptying questions
3.Focus on perceptual cues
4.Ask Virtues reflection questions
5.Ask closure & integration questions
6.Offer Virtues acknowledgments
The Companioning
ProcessOpen the
Door
OfferReceptive
Silence
Ask CupEmptyingQuestions
Focus onSensory Cues
Give a VirtuesAcknowledgment
Ask Closure& Integration
Questions
Ask VirtuesReflectionQuestions
Follow Lead
“What’shappening?”
“What’s thehardestthing?”
“What arethose
tears?”
“What wouldgive you thecourage...?”
“What washelpful?”
“What isclearer?”
“I honor youfor your
loyalty toyour friend.”
ACTIVITY
SPIRIT WALK
Journaling Questions
Who/What are you? What do you represent? What is your message for me? Why are you here? How can I carry out...? What actions can I take? How can I help (or serve) you? What is your gift to me?
forImages and Symbols in Dreams and Meditations
Applications
•Organizational Assessment•Leadership Development•Creating a Vision Statement•Creating a Mission Statement•Cultural Change
Applications•Performance Appraisal
Act with TACT
•Strategic Planning•Staff Development
The Five Strategies
•Personal Virtues Profile
Strategic Planning With the Five Virtues
Strategies•Naming VirtuesWhat are our core virtues, our strengths? What VIRTUES do we need to cultivate to move forward?
•What is the Teachable MomentFor our organization?
•How clear are our Boundaries?What boundaries do we need to establish?
•How shall we honor the Spiritual Dimension?
What rituals, rites of passage, ceremonies are needed?
•What are our true issues?What needs to be heard? How well do we companion one another?
VIRTUES VILLAGE
Inspiring virtues in the home,
school, workplace and community!
For more information on products and services :
www.virtuesvillagellc.com