UCL Institute of Education · 2017. 6. 30. · picture of EL2 learner identity. Subject positions...

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UCLInstituteofEducation

SECONDLANGUAGELEARNERSOFENGLISHINTRANSITION:

ANINVESTIGATIONOFFEMALELEARNERIDENTITYINASAUDI

CONTEXT

Athesissubmittedinfulfilmentoftherequirementsforthe

degreeofDoctorofPhilosophy

KathleenMaryAl-Johani

April2017

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Declaration

I,KathleenMaryAl-Johani,confirmthattheworkpresentedinthisthesisismy

own.Whereinformationhasbeenderivedfromothersources,Iconfirmthatthis

hasbeenindicatedinthethesis.

Signed___________________________________

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Abstract

Thisone-yearqualitative,multiplecasestudyinvestigatesidentityasconstructed

byfourArabwomenattendingthepreparatoryprogrammeofaSaudiEnglish-

mediumuniversityandthenmovingontotheirfreshmanyear.Fromabroadly

poststructuralistperspective,constructionsofidentityareinvestigatedintwo

differentways:firstly,fromalongitudinalview,continuitiesandchangesin

participants’bignarrativesareexaminedandsecondly,subjectpositionswhich

emergeinselectedsmallstoriesareanalysedinmoredetail.

Interpretationandanalysiswereguidedbyasecondlanguagelearning

theoreticalframeworkwhichviewsthelearnerasintegratedintheirlearning

context.However,inordertoreachamorenuancedunderstandingthan

narrativeinquirystudiesofidentitywhichfocusonextractingthemesintermsof

theindividuallearner,self-presentation,performance/positioningdevices,the

interactiveaccomplishmentoftalkandthewidersocialcontextwerealso

examined.

Shiftingidentitypositionsproblematizedcontinuitywhichcreatedacomplex

pictureofEL2learneridentity.Subjectpositionsemergedininteractionwhich

linkedparticipants’widersocialidentitiestotheirinvestmentsinlanguage

learningandtheirimaginedselves.Inpositioningthemselvesasmembersof

socialgroups,participantsdevelopedvoicesofresistancetocontestinstitutional

andpatriarchaldiscoursesandtocreateagentivespaces.Thus,throughtheuse

ofaninnovativemethodology,thisthesiscontributestoanunderstandingof

languagelearner,gender,languageandreligiousidentitiesintheSaudicontext.

ItalsomakesacontributiontotheunderstandingoftransitionintoEnglish-

mediumhighereducationinSaudiArabia.Transitionisseenasadestabilizing

stageinalearningcareerandasarenegotiationofidentityinordertoengage

withnewlearningpracticesandgroups.Post-transitionidentitieswere

constructedinescapenarrativesandperformancesofcriticalturningpoints.

Onlyoneparticipantperformedatransitionalnarrativeidentitywhichindicated

social,linguisticandacademicengagementwithhernewlearning/discourse

community.

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Acknowledgements

FirstofallIwouldliketothankmyfourparticipants,Alex,Sandra,Nourand

NevinewhoopenedwindowsformeontoaworldwhichIthoughtIknewwell.I

haveenjoyedourinteractionsimmenselyandfeelprivilegedtohavebeenpartof

theirlives.Ionlyhopethat,inmypresentationhere,Ihavebeenabletodo

justicetotheiraccountsoflearningandlivinginthisparticularlocalcontext.

Theirstoriesofaspirationanddeterminationformpartofamuchbiggerstory:

thatofSaudiwomen(andnon-SaudiArabwomen)seekingandclaiming,

sometimesinquitesubtleways,amoresignificantandfulfillingrolefor

themselvesasfemalecitizensorresidentsofthecountry.

Iamindebtedtothelongstanding,invaluableadviceandsupportofmy

supervisor,DrAmosParan,whogavegenerouslyofhistimeinordertokeepme

focusedandon-trackateachstageoftheresearchprocess.Heoftensteeredme

away,perhapsunknowingly,fromthesolitaryboutsofdespairthatarean

inevitablepartofproducingaPhDthesis.Throughastrategicbalanceofpraise

andcriticism,Amoshelpedmemaintainabeliefinmyselfasanacademic

researcherandthesis-writer.ThankyouAmosforyourconstructive,

professionalsupervisionandyourpersonalencouragement.

Iwouldalsoliketoexpressmyappreciationtomyfamilywhounderstoodthe

importancetomeofcompletingmythesisandpatientlyallowedmethespace

andtimetocarryoutmywork.IespeciallythankAbdullahandGhaithfortheir

invaluableArabicsupport,toNyelandHanadifortheirgenerouscomputer

assistance,toAlyaandSamfortheiremotionalsupportandtomysister,Josie

Blackmore,forcontinuallyremindingmethatthereislifebeyondaPhDthesis.

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Dedication

Idedicatethisthesistothelovingmemoryofmymother,MandoMattina,andto

mygrandchildren,SamandHaya.Hopefullytheywillmeetopportunityand

fulfilmentalongthepathsoftheirimagination,theirlearningandtheirlives.

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Tableofcontents

CHAPTER1:INTRODUCTION 151.1 Theresearchjourney 151.2 Myresearchcontext 161.3 Placingmystudyinthefield 171.4 Myselfasresearcher 191.5 Structureofthethesis 22CHAPTER2:THESAUDICONTEXT 232.1ThecountryofSaudiArabia 232.2 WomeninSaudiArabia 252.2.1Thestatusofwomen 252.2.2.Womenineducationandemployment 262.3 EnglishinSaudiArabia 292.3.1.CompetingdiscoursesofEnglishandArabic 292.3.2.EnglishversusIslam 302.4 DevelopmentsinEnglisheducation 322.4.1.LearningEnglishatschool 322.4.2.TheroleofEnglishinhighereducation 332.5 ResearchintoEnglishlanguagelearninginSaudiArabia 352.5.1.InvestigationsofaspectsofEFLlearning 352.5.2.InvestigationsofEFLlearninginitssocioculturalcontext 362.6 SummaryoftheSaudicontext 40CHAPTER3:LEARNERIDENTITYINAPPLIEDLINGUISTICS 413.1 Introduction 413.2 Identitytheoryandresearchinappliedlinguistics 423.2.1Thepoststructuralistapproachtoidentity 423.2.2Investigatingidentity 453.2.2.1Identityanddiscourse 453.2.2.2Identityandpositioning 473.2.2.3Identity,performanceandperformativity 493.2.2.3Identityandemotions 523.2.3Theroleofstructureandagencyinidentityresearch 523.2.4Communitiesofpracticeandimaginedcommunities 553.2.4.1Communitiesofpractice 553.2.4.2Imaginedcommunities 563.2.5Socialidentity 583.2.5.1Theconstructionofsocialidentity 583.2.5.2Genderidentity 593.2.5.3Ethnolinguisticidentity 61

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3.2.5.4Religiousidentity 623.2.5.6Socialclassidentity 633.2.6Summaryofidentitytheoryandresearch 633.3 Narrativeresearchonidentity 643.3.1Developmentsinnarrativeresearchonidentity 643.3.2Narrativeidentity 663.4 Learningtransitionstotertiaryeducation 693.4.1Theconceptoftransition 693.4.2Studentperspectivesonlearningtransitions 693.4.3Affectivechallengesoftransition 713.4.4TransitionstoEMI’sinArabianGulfcontexts 723.4.5Transitionsina‘learningcareer’ 743.4.6Languagelearnercareers 753.4.7Takingonanewstudentidentity 763.4.8Negotiatingidentitycongruence 773.4.9Negotiatingparticipationinnewdiscoursecommunities 783.5 Conclusion 803.6 Researchquestions 81CHAPTER4:METHODOLOGY 834.1 Theoreticalandmethodologicalapproaches 834.1.1Background 834.1.2Mytheoreticaljourney 844.1.3Casestudy–acontextualizedhumanprofile 854.1.4Anethnographicapproach 874.1.5Narrativeinquiry 894.1.6Summary 904.2 Researchsettingandparticipants 914.2.1Researchsetting 914.2.2Casestudyparticipants 924.3 Methods 924.3.1Rationale 924.3.2Interviews 934.3.3Observations 954.3.4Fieldnotes 974.3.5Myresearchjournal 974.4 Trustworthiness 984.4.1Criteria 984.4.2Myclaims 994.4.3Ethicalissues 1004.4.4Member-checking 1024.4.5Reflexivity 1024.5 DataCollection 104

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4.5.1Rationale 1044.5.2Accessingandgettingtoknowmyresearchsite 1044.5.3Findingmyresearchparticipants 1054.5.4Conductingtheinterviews 1064.5.5Expandingandrevisingmyresearchplan 1074.6 Transcription 1094.7 Analyticalapproaches 1134.7.1Initialsteps 1134.7.2Thematicnarrativeanalysis 1134.7.3Interviewsasinteractivepractice 1144.7.4Performativeanddramaturgicalanalysis 1144.8 Dataanalysis 1154.8.1Interviews 1154.8.2Otherdata 1174.8.3Movingonwithmydataanalysis 1184.9 Writingthecasestudies 1204.10 SummaryofMethodologyChapter 122CHAPTER5:ALEXANDRA 1245.1 Ourrelationship 1245.2 Background 1255.3 Alex’sbignarrativeandsmallstories 1265.3.1Overview 1265.3.2Englishlanguagelearner/useridentity 1275.3.3Studentidentity 1345.3.3.1Alex’sself-presentationasastudent 1345.3.3.2Self-assessment 1355.3.3.3Obstructiveandfacilitatingteachers 136 SmallStory1BadPE 1375.3.3.4Becomingamemberofanewstudentbody 140SmallStory2GoodIslamicPresentation 1425.3.4Translationstudentidentity/futuretranslator 1445.3.4.1TranslationandEL2learning 1445.3.4.2Problemswithtranslation 145SmallStory3BadIncidentintheBookstore 1465.3.4.3Notatranslationstudent 1485.3.4.4Futuretranslatoridentity 1505.3.5Oppositionalstudentidentity 151 SmallStory4BadPP 153 SmallStory5Jordan 1565.3.6Familymemberidentity 1595.3.6.1Familyconstraintsonherstudies 1595.3.6.2Familyculture 160

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SmallStory6IdealandPossibleSelf 1605.3.7SummaryofAlex’sbignarrativeandsmallstories 163CHAPTER6:SANDRA 1656.1 Ourrelationship 1656.2 Background 1666.3 Sandra’sbignarrativeandsmallstories 1666.3.1Overview 1666.3.2Englishlanguagelearner/useridentity 167 SmallStory1Arabicproblem 170 SmallStory2TeasingNevine 174 SmallStory3Muslim 1796.3.3Studentidentity 1846.3.3.1Acquiringastudentself 1846.3.3.2Developingmaturity 1856.3.3.3Definingherstudentrole 1876.3.3.4Takingonnewchallenges 188 SmallStory4MenandWomeninSaudi 188 SmallStory5IslamicClass 1926.3.4Counsellor/psychologicalself 1946.3.4.1PotentialPsychologystudent 1946.3.4.2Counsellor 1956.3.4.3Psychologicalself 196SmallStory6ApatheticDisposition 1986.3.5Aquietloner 2006.3.6SummaryofSandra’sbignarrativeandsmallstories 202 CHAPTER7:NOUR 2047.1 Ourrelationship 2047.2 Background 2057.3 Nour’sbignarrativeandsmallstories 2067.3.1Overview 2067.3.2Englishlanguagelearner/useridentity 207 SmallStory1EarthDream 2097.3.3Studentidentity 2177.3.3.1Creatingastudentidentity 2177.3.3.2TransitiontoPP 2177.3.3.3Transitiontouniversity 218 SmallStory2BadPE 220 SmallStory3BadComputerStudies 2237.3.4Socialcommentatoridentity 226 SmallStory4StudyAbroad 2297.3.5Mediatoridentity 232

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SmallStory5EnglishforSecrets 2347.3.6Motheridentity 237 SmallStory6Daughter’sFuture 2397.3.7SummaryofNour’sbignarrativeandsmallstories 241CHAPTER8:NEVINE 2438.1 Ourrelationship 2438.2 Background 2448.3 Nevine’sbignarrativeandsmallstories 2458.3.1Overview 2458.3.2Englishlanguagelearner/useridentity 246 SmallStory1NevineExplainingherRoleinActivity1 2478.3.3Studentidentity 2578.3.3.1Pre-transition 2578.3.3.2Post-transition 258 SmallStory2Escape 2608.3.4Alienatedidentity 263 SmallStory3TeasingNevine 2658.3.5WriterofEnglish 2718.3.6SummaryofNevine’sbignarrativeandsmallstories 274CHAPTER9:DISCUSSION 2759.1 Introduction 2759.2 RelationshipwithEnglish 2799.3 DevelopinganEL2researchrelationship 2819.4 Performinganidentity 2849.5 Constructionsofpast,presentandfutureEL2identities 2889.6 Transitionalidentities 2919.6.1Transitiontouniversity 2919.6.2Constructingauniversitystudentidentity 2959.7 Imaginedcommunitiesandimaginedidentities 2999.8 Socialidentity 3029.8.1Membershipofsocialgroups 3029.8.2Religiousidentity 3039.8.3Genderidentity 3049.8.4Ethnicity 3089.8.5SocialClass 3089.9 Conclusion 309CHAPTER10:THE‘FINAL’CHAPTER 31110.1 Questioningthebignarrativeandthesmallstories 31110.2 ContributiontoEL2learnerresearchinSaudihighereducation 31910.3 FemaleEL2learners,students,speakersinaSaudicontext 321

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10.4 Implicationsandlimitationsofmystudy 32310.5Thefinalstageandmovingon 32410.6 Finalwords 325LISTOFREFERENCES 327APPENDICES 341A.Alex’sSmallStories 341 1.BadPESS5 341

2.GoodIslamicPresentationSS6 3433.BadIncidentintheBookstoreSS3 3444.BadPPSS7 345

5.JordanSS5 347 6.Ideal&PossibleSelfSS7 349

B.Sandra’sSmallStories 352

1.ArabicproblemSS2 352 2.TeasingNevineGroup-2 353 3.MuslimSS4 355 4.MenandWomeninSaudiSS6 357 5.IslamicClassSS6 359 6.ApatheticDispositionSS5 361

C.Nour’sSmallStories 3641.EarthDreamSS1 364

2.BadPESS5 365 3.BadCSSS6 367 4.StudyAbroadSS2/Group-2 3695.EnglishforSecretsSS2/Group-2 371 6.Daughter’sFutureSS6 372

D.Nevine’sSmallStories 3751.ExplainingherRoleinActivity1PA1 3752.EscapeSS5 3773.TeasingNevineSS2/Group-2 379

E.FormsandInterviewQuestions 3811.ParticipantInformationSheet 381

2. ParticipantConsentForm 3823. BiodataForm 3834. InformalInterviewQuestions 3845. FirstSemi-StructuredInterviewQuestions 3856. GELLSheet 387

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F.ParticipantNarratives 388

1. Alex 3882. Sandra 3903. Nour 3924. Nevine 394

G. ParticipantSchedules 396

1.Alex 3962. Sandra 3973. Nour 3984. Nevine 399

H. SampleParticipantInterviewTranscripts 400

1. AlexSS5 4002. SandraSS5 4133. NourSS5 4234. NevineSS3 428

I. SampleAnalysisandAnalyticSummary 434

1. Sampleanalysis 4342. Analyticsummary 435

J.ALA-LCRomanizationTable–Arabic 436

ListofTables

4.1General(revised)scheduleofparticipantdatacollection109

4.2Transcriptionconventionsused 112

9.1Salientidentitiesinthebignarrative 275

9.2Learningtrajectoriesinthebignarrative 277

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Listofacronyms

ACSAdvancedCriticalSkills

AL1 ArabicasaFirstLanguage

APSAdvancedPresentationSkills

CS ComputerStudies

DPPDirectorofPreparatoryProgramme

EAPEnglishforAcademicPurposes

EL2EnglishasaSecondLanguage

ELLUEnglishLanguageLearnerandUser

EMIEnglishMediumInstruction

EFLEnglishasaForeignLanguage

FN FieldNotes

GELL GoodEnglishLanguageLearner(sheet)

PEPhysicalEducation

PP PreparatoryProgramme

SLA SecondLanguageAcquisition

SLLSecondLanguageLearning

SSSemi-Structured(interview)

TESOLTeachingEnglishtoSpeakersofOtherLanguages

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GlossaryofArabicwords

ʿabāyah1 loose-fittinglongrobewornbywomeninSaudiArabia

al-ḥamdulillāh thankGod

ʿawrah femaleintimateparts(thatshouldbehidden)

ḥadīth reportofsayingsanddeedsoftheprophetMuhammad

khalāṣ that’senough,it’sfinished

ḥalāl it’sallowed

ḥarām it’sforbidden,sinful

inshāʾAllāh Godwilling

maḥram maleguardian

māshāʾAllāh mayAllahbepleased,GodBless

ṭarḥa ascarf,usuallyblack,whichcoversawomen’shair

ʿulamāʾ religiousscholars

yaʿnī Imean,youknow

1ForromanizationofArabicseeAPA-LCtableinAppendixJ.

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CHAPTER1:INTRODUCTION

…identitiesareaboutquestionsofusingtheresourcesofhistory, languageandcultureintheprocessofbecomingratherthanbeing… (Hall,1996)1.1 TheresearchjourneyThejourneytothisinvestigationofidentityhastakenmethroughdifferentEFL

landscapes.AsanEFLteacherofSaudifemalestudentsIdeemedthelowlevelof

EnglishamongSaudihighschoolgraduatesembarkingonapre-university

foundationcourseasmainlyduetotheirineffectiveuseoflearningstrategies.My

initialobjectivesweretohelpSaudifemalestudentsbecomemoreindependent,

‘autonomous’learnersofEnglishbyinvestigatinglanguagelearningstrategiesin

use,byraisingtheirmetacognitiveawarenessinordertoencouragetheir

evaluationandmodificationofcurrentstrategiesandthentoassessthetransfer

ofstrategiestothecontent-based,academiccontextofuniversity.

Myreadingoftheliteratureonsocioculturalandcriticalapproachestoresearch

onlanguagelearningstrategiesinfluencedmythinkingconsiderably:ratherthan

focusingonindividualstrategieswhichmightimprovelanguagelearningand

makelearnersmore‘autonomous’,Ibecamemoreinterestedinresearchinghow

learnersareinfluencedintheirlearningbytheirculturalcontexts,boththe‘small

culture’(Holliday,1999)oftheclassroomandthewidersocialandcultural

environment.Imovedontoaresearchfocusonhowuseofstrategiesmightbe

derivedfromparticipants’individualandculturalbeliefsaboutlanguagelearning

andhowthesemightinfluencetheirclassroomparticipation.

ConsiderationsabouthowIwouldidentifyandaccessparticipantbeliefsabout

languagelearningininterviewdatabecamesomewhatofastumblingblock:

wouldIcountonlyparticipantstatementsofbeliefinmyanalysis?HowwouldI

knowifthebeliefstatementcorrespondedtowhattheparticipantreallythought

andfelt?HowcouldItellifadifferentbeliefstatementdenotedachangein

beliefsoradifferentself-presentation?Ratherthanfocusonwhatmightbe,in

theend,aninaccessiblepsychologicalconstruct,Iconsideredinvestigating

languagelearneridentity,inwhichIcouldexaminenotonlywhatparticipants

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sayaboutthemselvesaslanguagelearnersintheirsocialcontextbutalsohow

theyconstruct,presentandperformtheirlanguagelearneridentities.

Asignificantinfluenceonmythinkingwas(andstillis)LuciaThesen’s(1997)

studyofstudenttransitiontouniversityinSouthAfrica,acountrywhichwas

goingthroughrapidsociopoliticalchangeatthetime.Thesenemphasisesthe

discrepancybetweenconventionalidentitycategoriesascribedtostudentsand

theirself-descriptionsininterviewsastheymadesenseoftheirtransitionto

university.Whatstandoutherearethedynamismandcomplexityofstudent

‘voices’astheylocatethemselvesinthewider‘discourses’oftheirpastand

presentlearningandliteracy.

ThisresonatedwithmeinthatSaudiArabiaisalsoacountryintransition,asitis

rapidlymovingfromaconservativetraditionalsocietytoamoreglobalized,

moderneconomyandcompetingideologicaldiscoursesimpactonEL2learner

identity.AsstudentsmovetoundergraduateEnglish-mediumstudythey

experienceasocial-linguistictransitionafterwhichtheyareexpectedtodevelop

anacademic,institutionalidentityiftheyaretosucceed.Findingoutfromthe

studentshowtheymakesenseofthemselvesintheirnewenvironment,the

identityworktheyundertakeinordertoadjustandthewaystheyposition

themselveswithindiscourseswill,asThesen(1997)argues,createnew

educationalunderstandingsoflearneridentityinitssocialcontext.

1.2Myresearchcontext

DuringmyyearsofteachinginSaudiArabiaIhaveexperiencedsituationswhich

havemademeawareofdifficultcircumstancesfacedbysomeSaudifemaleEFL

learners.HereIamnotreferringtoproblemsofalinguisticnature.Therewasthe

enthusiastic,intermediatestudentwhokeptherhaircoveredevenintheall-

femaleclassroomandwhoannouncedhalfwaythroughthecoursethather

fatherwouldnolongerallowhertostudyEnglish.AnotheryoungSaudiwoman

whowastopofherclassmissedthefinalexamsoshewasnotawardeda

certificate.WhenIphonedtofindoutwhyshehadnotcome,sheexplainedina

politeandresignedtoneofvoice,thatshelivedontheothersideofthecityand

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therewasnoonetobringher.Irememberalsotheemotionalpresentationofa

Saudistudentinanadvancedclasswhohadchosentospeakaboutherreasons

forlearningEnglish:asayoungMuslimwomaninSaudiArabia,shefeltthatno

onewantedtohearorunderstandherpersonalinterpretationsofthereligionso

sheintendedtogotoBritainwhereitwasmorelikelythatherspiritualmessage

wouldfallonsympatheticears.

Thesethreesituationshavesomethingincommon:thethwartingofwomen’s

choicestodevelopthemselvesandtohaveavoiceintheirsociety.Inmy

experience,however,mostyoungwomen,whetherSaudiornon-SaudiArab,

enjoyclassroomopportunitiestotalkanddiscusstheiropinionsonawiderange

ofpersonal,social,educationalandprofessionaltopicsinEnglish.Theyenjoy

interactingwiththeteacherandwitheachother,totelltheirstoriesandsharea

jokewiththeclass.AsaTEFLtrainedteacher,Iencourageaninteractive,

communicativeclassroominwhichlearnerscanfeelengagedandrelaxed.I

wouldoftenbeginaclasswithmyownstory,relatedtotheclasstopic,which

promptedstudents(onintermediateandadvancedcourses)totelltheirown

anecdotesandstories.Theepistemologicalandmethodologicalapproachofmy

researchemanatesfromtheseyoungwomen’sstoriesinwhichtheyrelatedtheir

experiencesasyoungwomenlivingandlearninginSaudiArabia.

1.3Placingmystudyinthefield

Scholarsinthefieldofappliedlinguisticscontinuetoinvestigatethecomplex

relationshipbetweenlanguagelearningandidentityeversinceNortonPeirce

(1995)firstlaidthefoundationsforresearchofthelanguagelearneras

embeddedintheirlearningcontext.Norton(2013:45)definesidentityas“howa

personunderstandshisorherrelationshiptotheworld,howthatrelationshipis

structuredacrosstimeandspace,andhowthepersonunderstandspossibilities

forthefuture”.Muchworkhasbeendoneontheinteractionsbetweenimmigrant

languagelearnersandtargetlanguagespeakers(e.g.Norton,2000;Menard

Warwick,2009)andoninternationalstudentsinAnglophonecountries(e.g.

Morita,2004;KimandDuff,2012).StillworkingwithinAnglophonesettings,

identitystudiesoflanguagelearnersinglobalisingcontexts(e.g.Higgins,2011;

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Preece,2016)viewthelearningofadditionallanguagesinnewintercultural,

multilingualcontextsasprovidingnewopportunitiesforidentityformation.

TherehavebeenfewerstudiesonlanguagelearneridentityinEFLcontextsin

whichEnglish-mediumuniversityeducationisbecomingmoreprevalent.Butas

the‘socialturn’(Block,2003)continuestogainmomentum,studiesinsecond

languageandforeignlanguagelearninghavemovedfurtherafieldtoexplore

languagelearnersandtheirworldsinAsianandAfricanlocalcontexts(Darvin

andNorton,2015).Forexample,Gu(2010)investigatedthediscursive

constructionofidentityinthesocioculturalcontextoffemaleundergraduatesin

ChinaandNortonandWilliams(2012)conductedastudyoftheimpactofdigital

literaciesonsecondaryschoolstudentidentityinaruralvillageinUganda.

Consideringfutureidentityresearch,DeCostaandNorton(2016)recommend

greatercross-disciplinaryresearch,morestudiesonemergentidentityinlocal

contextsandtheuseofinnovativemethodologiesinordertoilluminatethe

negotiationofidentity.Ihavetakenonallthreerecommendationsinmy

research.

Thislongitudinalstudyinvestigatesthelanguagelearnerandstudentidentities

offouryoungArabwomenataSauditertiaryinstitutionasconstructedintheir

oralaccountsininterviewsandconversations.Iaminterestedinfindingouthow

theymakesenseoftheirlearningexperiences,howtheypositionthemselvesin

termsofsocialcategoriesandculturaldiscoursesandhowtheyperform

individualandgroupidentities.Astheytransitionfromapreparatory

programme(PP)touniversity,howdotheyconstructtheirfeelings,doubtsand

difficultiesandhowdotheyenacttheirstrugglesandpresenttheirnovice

universitystudentidentitiesininteractionwithmeandothers?Iemploya

narrative-positional-performativemethodology,drawnfromsocialscience,

education,discursivepsychologyandsociolinguistics,whichaimstoreach

understandingsofmyparticipants’identityworkastheycrossoverintonew

linguisticandeducationalcontexts.Myspecificresearchquestionscanbefound

inthefinalsectionofChapter3.

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Norton’s(2013)constructofinvestmentinlanguagelearningandheruseof

Anderson’s(1991)constructofimaginedcommunitiesareimportanttomy

investigation:whileglobalisationandmodernizationimpactonwomen’slivesin

SaudiArabiaandfueltheirdesiretobemultilingual,well-educated,mobileand

cosmopolitan,family,traditionandreligionareconstraininginfluenceswhichset

limitsonmyparticipants’presentationsofpast,presentandfutureselves.Darvin

andNorton(2015:36)writeaboutthe“increasinglydeterritorializedand

unbounded”spacesinwhichlanguageacquisitiontakesplacewhichhaveledto

morefluidandcomplexidentities.However,consideringprescribedrestrictions

onfemalesocialandgeographicalmobilityandthepatriarchaldelineationof

femalespaces,onemightwonderhowrelevantthesenewglobalized,mobile

identitiesmightbetoyoungwomeninSaudiArabia.Certainlysatellitetelevision

andonlineinteractionshavehadahugeimpactonthewayyoungSaudiwomen

seetheirrelationshiptotheirworld.However,asfarastheyclaimanational,

ethnicandfamilialidentity,Saudiwomenstillremainboundbyconservativeand

religiousdiscourses(Doumato,2003)andbythepowerofapatriarchalstate(Al-

Rasheed,2013).

Preece(2016),citingBlommaert(2006),takesaccountofrestrictivefactorsin

theidentitieswhichpeoplechoose,or‘inhabit’,forthemselves.Thesefactors

whichmayconstrainthenegotiationofidentityare:people’saccesstosocial

spacesandrelationsandascribedidentitieswhichpositionindividualsandmay

limittheirrightstoparticipationandmaterialresources.Inordertogainan

insightintohowmyfourparticipantspositionthemselvesandarepositionedby

thesocial,culturalandideologicaldiscoursesoftheSaudicontext,Ianalysethe

content,thecontextandthediscourseoftheirnarratives-in-interaction.In

Preece’s(2016:3)words,Ihavesoughttobridgethegapbetween“the

microleveloftheindividualandthemacrolevelofthesocialorder”.

1.4Myselfasresearcher

Onamorepersonalnote,Iammultilingual,middleclassandAnglo-Greekby

nationality.IhavelivedintheUnitedKingdommostofmylifeandmyuniversity

educationwasinModernLanguages,Psychology,EducationandClassical

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Studies.IdidaTEFLcourseonmyreturnfromatwelvemonthoverlandjourney

throughCentralandSouthAmericaandthentaughtEnglishinLondonuntilthe

TEFLtrailbeckonedandImovedfirsttoSpainandthentoGreece.Whenmy

daughterwasthreeImovedtoSaudiArabiawithmySaudihusbandwhereI

obtainedadiplomainTEFLandateachingpositionatthelocalpublicuniversity.

IhavelivedandworkedinSaudiArabiaformorethanthirtyyears.Although

conversantinArabic,myliteracyskillslagfarbehind.Iwoulddescribemy

teachingapproachascommunicative:Iencouragemystudentstoexpresstheir

viewsinEnglishandallowuseofArabicasaclassmeta-language.Ifindthat

positioningthemasmultilinguals,asIpositionmyself,helpstocreateapositive

dynamicintheclassroom.

Withmythirtyyears’experienceoflivingandworkinginSaudiArabia,myroleis

thatofbothinsiderandoutsidertotheculturalandeducationalcontext.Iaman

insiderresearcherinthesensethatIamfamiliarwithmanyaspectsofSaudi

socialandculturalpractices,educationalsystems,learningcontextsetc.Also,my

familyconnectionsarestrongandconsequentlyIhaveasenseofloyaltyand

commitmenttoourSaudirelativesandfriends,thecountryanditspeople.

Generally,IenjoytakingpartinSaudisocialoccasionsinwhichthereisagreat

senseofsolidarityamongthewomen.AlthoughIbelieveIknowmuchaboutthe

Saudicontext,IoftenfeelalienatedfromitandcannotsaythatIgenerallyshare

assumptions,beliefsandopinionswithSaudipeople.Iamanoutsiderinthat

sense.

MyteachingofEnglishLanguageandEnglishLiteratureataninternational

school,EAPataSaudistateuniversityandEFLataprivateuniversityaswellas

EFLattheBritishCouncil,hasgivenmetheopportunitytointeractwithalarge

numberofArab,particularlySaudi,femalestudents.Ihavemostlyderiveda

greatdealofsatisfactionandenjoymentfromteachingthemandgettingtoknow

themindividuallyaswomenandhumanbeings.Indeed,anunderstatedaimof

myinvestigationisto‘carry’theirvoicesandtheirmeaningstoaWestern

audience.

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Myintentionwasthatmyparticipants’storieswouldgosomewayinchallenging

andevendissipatingideologicalstereotypesofSaudiwomenwhichemanate

frominsideandoutsidethecountry.Abu-Lughod(2013)arguesthat

traditionallywomenoftheOrienthavebeendepictedeitherasdowntrodden

victimsorasexcessivelysexualbeingsandthateventodaymass-market

paperbackspublishedintheWestconjureupgraphicscenesofviolenceand

sexualizedabusewhichhavetheeffectofrallyingWesternfeministsupportfor

theirMuslimsisters.Whilethesearenotacademictexts,theylendweightto

stereotypicalviewsofSaudiwomen’slives.Contrastingly,Almutairi(2007)

arguesinherstudyofSaudiwomenlearningEnglishthatSaudiwomenare

generallyperceivedandvaluedinSaudisocietyas“emotional,passive,

submissive,dependent,andnon-assertive”(p.10).

Whileseekingtoletmyparticipants’voicesbeheard,Iwantedtomaintain

awarenessofmyrole,positionandideologicalstanceintheresearchproject.

Kubota(2014:17)urgesresearchersto“criticallyreflectonourownhybrid

plurilingualstatusofprivilegewithinneoliberalacademicinstitutions”aswe

seektounderstandthelessprivilegedpositionofourparticipants.Attentionto

thesubjectivityoftheresearcheranditsinfluenceonallstagesofresearchhas

nowbecomecommonplaceinqualitativeresearch(Pillow,2003;Courtand

Abbas,2013).Thusitwasimportanttoguardmyselfagainst“thegazethat

doesn’tlookbackonitself”(Abu-Lughod,2013).Also,ratherthanseekinga

comfortablereflexivityinwhichmyresearcher’snarrativesitssmoothly

alongsidethatofmyparticipants,Iwantedtobringoutthemessier

“uncomfortablerealitiesofdoingengagedqualitativeresearch”(Pillow,2003:

193).Aparticularaspectofconcernwasanticipatedparticipantingratiationin

thesocialandsocializingoccasionoftheinterviewsoIrealizedthatitwouldbe

importanttofocusonself-presentationalandinteractiveeffectsandonshifting

rolesintheresearchrelationship.Thusboththemeaningsproduced(thewhats),

andhowmeaningsareproduced(thehows)betweenparticipantsandmyselfas

researcher(HolsteinandGubrium,2003),wereimportanttomyinvestigationof

EL2learneridentity.

22

1.5Structureofthethesis

InthischapterIhavegivenanaccountofthebackgroundtomyresearch.Ihave

discussedhowIreachedmyareaofinvestigation,myownbackgroundas

researcherandtheapproachandaimsofmystudy.InChapter2Igoontoframe

mystudyofEL2identitybydescribingtheSaudicontextinsomedetail,

particularlythepositionofwomen,discoursessurroundingEnglish,andSaudi

studiesofEFLlearners.IthenreviewtheidentityliteratureinChapter3focusing

onhowresearchersinappliedlinguisticsandsociolinguisticshaveapproached

thestudyofidentityfromapoststructuralist,narrativeandperformative

position.Ialsoreviewtheliteratureontransitionstohigherlearningincluding

thatofthefewstudiesofEL2studentstransitioningtoundergraduate

programmesintheArabworld.Myresearchquestionsarepresentedattheend

ofChapter3.IntheMethodologyChapterIgivedetailsofthecontextand

methodsofmydatacollectionandanalysisaswellasthechallengesI

encounteredandhowIdealtwiththese.

Thefourcasestudychapters(5-8)consistofmyparticipants’narrativesinwhich

Iinvestigatetheiridentityconstructionsacrosstheirlearningtrajectories

focusingontheimpactoftheirtransitiontouniversity.Ialsohoneinonnarrative

extractsinordertoinvestigatesubjectpositionswhichemergeinnarratives-in-

interaction.InChapter9,Idiscusscommonalitiesanddifferencesinparticipants’

presentationsandperformancesofsocialandindividualidentityandrelatethese

totheEL2identityliterature.The‘Final’Chapterreviewsthefindingsand

discussesquestionsofongoingidentitybasedonunderstandingsgleanedfrom

myresearch.

23

CHAPTER2:THESAUDICONTEXT2.1.ThecountryofSaudiArabia

SaudiArabiaisthelargestnationintheArabianpeninsulaandintheGulf

CooperationCouncil(GCC)groupofstates,whichiscomprisedofBahrain,

Kuwait,Oman,QatarandtheUnitedArabEmirates,inadditiontoSaudiArabia.

ThecountryisgovernedbytheCouncilofMinistersheadedbythemonarchwho

isheadofstate;governanceisbasedonthesharīʿah(Islamiclaw)andtheofficial

religionisSunniIslamwhich“dominatesthecustoms,beliefsandcultureofthe

peopleinKSA”(Alhawsawi,2013:25).In2013,theestimatedpopulationwas

approximately27million,ofwhomover8millionwereexpatriateworkers

(Alhawsawi,2013).BeforetheunificationofSaudiArabiabyitsfounderAbdul

AzizAlSaudin1932,ruralcommunitiesidentifiedwithfamilyortribeand

politicalidentitywasbasedonregionalbelonging(Yamani,2000).Yamani

(2010)emphasisescontinuedregionalaffiliationsandthecultural

distinctivenessofsectsandtribeswithinthecountry,which,sheargues,

counteractthestatepolicyofnationalintegration.

ThereligiousideologyofWahhabism,apuritanicalformofSunniIslam,actedas

avehicleofunification.Theword‘Wahhabi’isderivedfromthenameofthe

MuslimscholarMuhammadIbn‘Abdal-Wahhabwhopreacheda“cleansingof

faithfromimpuritiesandareturntoauthenticIslam”inthe18thcentury(Al-

Rasheed,2013).ItwasintheallianceoftheWahhabimovementandtheAlSaud

rulersthatthenationofSaudiArabiawasestablished.Sinceitscreation,Saudi

Arabiahasundergonerapideconomic,culturalandsocialchangedrivenbythe

flowofoilrevenues,thehugenumbersofMuslimvisitorstoMeccaandMedina

andthegrowthoftheglobalmarketplace.However,itwasnotuntilthe1950’s,

withtheestablishmentofinstitutionalstructures,masscommunicationanda

nationaleducationcurriculumthatit“becamepossibletospeakoftheemergence

ofaSaudiidentity”(Yamani,2000:6).

Yamani(2000)alsodrawsattentiontothecontactofSaudipeoplewith

Westernersandnon-Muslimsduetotheoileconomy,aswellaswithotherArabs,

24

someofwhombecameinfluentialaspoliticaladvisersandteachersandwere

grantedSaudicitizenshipinthe1950’s.Howeverthistrendwasreversedinthe

1960’swhenitbecamealmostimpossibletoacquirecitizenship:Yamani

(2000:8)describesthisreversalas“aformofnationalismbutalsoatechniqueof

socialexclusiondirectedatotherArabsandMuslims”.Triggeredbytheneedsof

theeconomy,anewSaudimiddleclassemergedwhowerenotmembersofelite

familiesbutachievedsocialmobilitythroughtrainingandeducation(Alhawsawi,

2013).Theupperstratumofthemiddleclasswereofteneducatedabroadand

includeddoctors,professors,engineersandsomebusinessmen,whilethelower

middleclassweremadeupofgovernmentclericalworkers,schoolteachersand

industrialwageearners(Alhawsawi,2013).

Inherinterviewstudyofthe1990’sgenerationofyoungSaudimenandwomen

bornduringtheoilboom,Yamani(2000)interpretedtheambivalenceand

uncertaintyoftheirresponsesasreflectingtheconflictbetweentheinfluenceof

thetraditional,religiouscustomsofparentsandgrandparentsandthe

interviewees’exposuretorapidmodernisationandglobalisation.Mostofher

participantsvoicedtheirpreferenceforgreaterculturaltieswiththeGCCstates

ratherthancontinuedrelationswithAmerica,whichtheyfelthadaconstraining

influenceonthedevelopmentofadistinctsenseofculturalidentity.Thefamily,

ratherthantheindividual,emergedasthemain“unitofidentity…accompanied

byanincreasingsenseofnationalbelonging”(p.13).However,Yamani(2000)

alsofoundthatherintervieweesfrequentlygaveprominencetotheirreligious

identityoverfamilyandnationandalthoughtheywelcomedthetechnologiesof

globalization,whichhadbroughtotherculturesintotheirworld,theystillclung

tothestabilizinginfluencesofIslam.

Doumato(2003)emphasisesthelong-termpoliticalalliancebetweenreligion

andstateinSaudiArabiaandthepoweroftheʿulamāʾ2toimposetheirversionof

Islamiclawonthepeople,thusfusing“religiousaffiliationintoidentitywithan

Islamicstate”(p.242).WithinWahhabidiscoursethe‘womenquestion’(Al-2Arabicterms,ifnottranslatedinthetext,areexplainedintheGlossary.

25

Rasheed,2013)hasbecomeoneofsupremeimportance:insociety’sencounter

withrapideconomicdevelopmentandWesternculture,Doumato(2003)argues

thatthereis“nootherchallengetoreligiousvaluesthatthreatensmaleidentity

oraffectspeople’slivessopersonally”(p.243).Ithereforenowturntoa

discussionofthepositionofwomeninSaudiArabia.

2.2WomeninSaudiArabia

2.2.1Thestatusofwomen

GenderideologyismorerestrictiveinSaudiArabiathaninanyothercountryin

theArabMiddleEast(Doumato,2003):womenaresegregatedfromunrelated

meninalmostallpublicplaces,includingschools,universities,banks,restaurants

andworkplaces;womenarenotallowedtodriveortotravelwithoutwritten

permissionfromtheirmaleguardianormaḥramanditwasonlyin2001that

womenwerefirstallowedtocarrytheirownidentitycardsinsteadofmerely

beingregisteredastheirfather’sorhusband’sdependent.SaudiArabiahasa

highgendergapindex:in2015itwasranked134outof145countries.The

unemploymentrateforwomen,forexample,was20.7%,whileformenitwas

2.8%(TheGlobalGenderGapReport,2015).

Hamdan(2005)considersgenderinequalitiestobedeeplyembeddedinSaudi

societyandattributestheexclusionofSaudiwomenfrompubliclifetothe

silencingofwomen’svoicesinthenameofIslambytheʿulamāʾ.However,

tradition,customarylawsandsocialpracticesalsoworktooppresswomenand

Yamani(2000)arguesthattheextendedpatriarchalfamilystructureisa

powerfulforceinmaintainingfemalesuppressionandthestateactsasan

extensionoffamilycontrol.Al-Rasheed(2013)alsoreferstothereplacementof

thetribalcodesoffemalehonourwithareligiously-sanctionedpublicpatriarchy,

thuscreatingtheconditionsfor“theconsolidationofanimaginedreligious

nationinwhichcontroloverwomeniscentral”(p.58).

Al-Rasheed(2013)emphasisestheroleofthepowerfulSaudistatewhichhas

frequentlyshownitscapabilitytoovercomepronouncementsbyconservative

religiousscholarsongenderrelationsforitsownpoliticalends.Forexample,in

26

thepost9/11period,thestatebegantoeaserestrictionsoneconomic

opportunitiesforwomeninordertogaininternationallegitimacyandduringthe

ArabSpring,whenanumberofArabauthoritarianregimeswereoverthrown,the

SaudikingannouncedthatwomenwouldbegivenseatsintheConsultative

Councilandwouldparticipateinfuturemunicipalelections.Al-Rasheed(2013)

alsoarguesthatsince2005thestatehasdeliberatelyprojectedindividualSaudi

womenascosmopolitan,articulateandglobalisedthroughnationalmedia,in

ordertoprojectanimageofthestateasareformistagencyinSaudisociety.

In2013KingAbdullahappointedthirtywomentothecountry’stopadvisory

Shuracouncil,whichadvisesthegovernmentonnewlegislation,(BBCNews,11

Jan.2013)andin2015municipalelectionswereheldinwhichwomencouldvote

andwinseatsonmunicipalcouncils(BBCNews,12Dec.2015):botheventswere

seenaslandmarksforthepoliticaladvancementofSaudiwomen.However,Al-

Rasheed(2013)arguesthatinspiteofthefrequentsupportforfemale

advancementvoicedbythekingandprinces,recentinitiativesarenotlikelyto

leadtothesignificantempowermentofwomeninSaudiArabia.

2.2.2Womenineducationandemployment

ThepubliceducationsysteminSaudiArabiahasbeenameansofbuildinga

senseofnationhoodamongthepeople,ofhomogenizingtheirlinguisticand

religiousorientationandofinstillingallegiancetothemonarchy(Doumato,

2003).Intermsofgenderissues,thereligiouscurriculumpromotessex

segregationandtotalcoveringforwomen(Doumato,2003).Until2002,girls’

educationwasoverseenbytherīāsʾah(GeneralPresidencyofGirls’Education),

whichcentralizedandcontrolledthecurriculaandteachingmethodsforgirlsto

ensurethatfemaleeducationwouldpreparegirlstobegoodwivesandmothers

andtochanneltheirprofessionalaspirationstowardsjobsdeemedappropriate

suchasteachingandnursing(Hamdan,2005).However,thegrowthoffemale

secularpubliceducationsincetheearly1960’sandthelaterproliferationof

privateschoolsmeantyoungwomenandgirlswerealsoprovidedwith

intellectualtoolsandacontextinwhichfemaleidentity,statusandfutureroles

couldberenegotiated(Yamani,2000).Attendingschool,forexample,gaveSaudi

27

youngwomenandgirlstheopportunitytoleavetheirhomeandtomakesocial

connectionsoutsidetheirfamilycircle(Doumato,2003).However,Al-Rasheed

(2013)drawsattentiontourgentquestionsraisedinthe1970’soverdelaying

theageofmarriageinfavourofpursuinganeducation.

Inspiteofferventoppositionfromtheʿulamāʾ,KingFaisalandhiswife,Queen

Effat,persistedintheireffortsingirls’education,usingquotesfromtheQuran

andtheḥadīthtosupporttheirendeavours(Hamdan,2005).Thefirstwomen’s

universitycampuseswereopenedbythegovernmentinthelate1970’sbut

subjectsweremorelimitedthanthoseformen(Hamdan,2005).By2000,

womenmadeupoverhalfthetotalnumberofuniversityandcollegestudentsin

SaudiArabia(Doumato2003)andby2010approximately62%ofall

undergraduateswerewomen(SmithandAbouammoh,2013).Thereislittle

doubtthatthegovernmenthasactivelysupportedwomen’seducationas

evidencedbytherapidspreadofgirls’schoolsanduniversitycampusesfor

women.Yamani(2000)foundthatmostofherfemaleintervieweesconsidered

highereducationtheirrightasSaudicitizensbutconsideredjobsandcareersin

relationtofamilyandcommunity,showingtheirwillingnesstoconformtosocial

norms.

WhilereviewsofSaudiwomen’seducationandworksuchasthoseofDoumato

(2003)andHamdan(2005)havetendedtofocusontherestrictionsonwomenof

aconservative,segregatedsociety,somemorerecentstudies(eg.Taha,2010)

bringouttheaspirationsandopportunitiesoftheyoungSaudiwoman.Since

1999,anumberofprivatecollegesanduniversitieshaveopenedwhichprovide

youngwomenwithAmerican-modelcurriculaandanEnglish-mediumhigher

education.Yamani(2000)commentedsoonafterthefirstprivatewomen’s

collegesopenedthattheyrepresentedawideninggapbetweentraditionalfamily

rolesandeducationalexperiencebecausetheyencouragedyoungwomen’s

aspirations.

Taha(2010)conductedaqualitativestudyinawomen’sprivatecollegeinwhich

shefoundthatherrespondentshadpositiveperceptionsofglobalcitizenship

28

whichtheylinkedtoaWestern-style,English-mediumeducation.Shemakesa

cleardistinction,however,betweenpublicwomen’suniversities,whichfollow

thetraditionalSaudimodel,andprivateuniversities,whichsheseesasfollowing

anAmericanliberalartscollegemodel.Herdistinctionsbringoutthegapinthe

Englishlearningexperienceofpublicandprivateeducationandinpossible

differencesinattitudes.Similarly,Al-Saraj(2011)suggeststhatthesewomen’s

privatecollegescreateWestern-influencedsocialcontextsinthattheyprovide

academiccoursesinsubjectslikearchitecture,electricalengineeringandfinance,

whicharenotavailabletowomeninpublicuniversities.

AlthoughSaudiwomenuniversitygraduatesoutnumbermen,only5%ofwomen

wereinfull-timeemploymentin2001(Doumato2003).By2011thisfigurehad

risento12%(Al-Rasheed2013).Relianceonaforeignlabourforce,Saudilabour

lawswhichpreventwomenfromworkingalongsidemenandimpedimentson

women’stransportationaresuggestedasreasonsforthelimitedjob

opportunitiesforwomen(Doumato,2003).However,afalteringeconomyand

theneedforwomentosupportfamilieshavehelpedtochangethissituation.

Governmentinitiativestocreatemoreemploymentforwomenoutsideofthe

traditionalareasofeducationandhealthledtoaten-foldriseinthenumberof

Saudiwomenworkinginthebusinesscommunitybetween2011and2013

(AartsandRoelants,2015).

Whilewomen’semploymenthasbecomeacceptable,genderintegrationinthe

workplaceremainscontroversial(Al-Rasheed,2013).Doumato(2003)argues

thatthegenderparadigmwillremainunchangedaslongastheWahhabiʿulamāʾ,

continuetobeanobstructiveforceinthelifeofSaudiwomen.AlthoughSaudi

womenmightnotyetbereadyfordirectconfrontationwiththestateandits

religiousscholars,this“mostmasculinestate”(Al-Rasheed,2013:94)canno

longeraffordtoignoreSaudiwomen’svoicesastheybegintoasserttheirclaim

tofullcitizenship.

29

2.3EnglishinSaudiArabia

2.3.1CompetingdiscoursesofEnglishandArabic

SaudiArabiahasbeenplacedinthe‘Expanding’circleofWorldEnglishes

(Kachru,1985),asEnglishhasnoofficialstatus,butistaughtwidelyasaforeign

language.However,withtheubiquitoususeofEnglishasalinguafrancain

business,leisureanddomesticcontextsinthecitiesandthespreadofEnglish-

mediumacademiclearninginprivateandmostpublicuniversities,the

distinctionbetweenlearningEnglishasaforeignorsecondlanguageinSaudi

Arabiabecomesmoredifficulttosustain.

Theculturalandlinguistic‘onslaught’ofEnglishhasbeenopposedinjournal

articlesandnewsmediabymanyacademics(e.g.Al-Jarf,2008),whoseethe

proliferationofEnglishandlearningEnglishasathreattonational,Islamicand

Arabicidentity.Others,onamoremoderatenote,acknowledgethegeneral

inadequacyofcurrentEFLeducationtomeettheneedsofSaudistudents,but

insistthatEnglishcanneverattainthestatusofasecondlanguageduetoSaudis’

strongsenseofArabandMuslimidentity(e.g.Al-Hazmi,2007).Similarly,some

universityprofessorse.g.Al-Shehri(2010)criticisetheadoptionofEnglish-

mediumacademicprogrammesinSauditertiaryinstitutions,whichtheyseeasa

hindrancetohigherlearning.Others,suchasAl-Seghayer(2011),invoke

discoursesofmultilingualism,skilldevelopmentandacademicperformancein

ordertopromotetheexpansionofEnglishlanguageeducationinSaudiArabia.

Inthiscontextofcompetingdiscourses,theEnglishversusArabicdebate

representsthemodern-traditionaldichotomyastheglobalizedmarketplaceis

seentotakeoverfromthetraditionalcommunity(Yamani,2000).SinceEnglish

isimportantnotonlyasalanguageofinstructionbutalsoinbusiness,scientific,

commercialandtechnologicalfields,spokenandwrittenproficiencyinthe

languagehasbecomeastatussymbol,aneconomicadvantageand“amarkerfor

theabilitytoobtainprivateeducationandtotravelabroad,andasignofa

cosmopolitanlifestyle”(p.58).CommunicationskillsinEnglisharealsorequired

forgovernmentandprofessionalpositions.ThusEnglishhascometoplaya

criticalroleingatekeepingbotheducationandworkinSaudiArabia.

30

InordertogaugetheattitudesofSaudistudentstowardsEnglishasamediumof

instructionasopposedtoArabic,Al-Jarf(2008)conductedanopenquestionnaire

studyinwhich470femalestudents,whoweremajoringindifferentfieldsandin

varyingyearsofstudyatthelargestpublicuniversityinSaudiArabia,wereasked

fortheirviewsontheappropriatemediumofinstructionforvariousmajors.

MostrespondedthatEnglishwasmoreappropriateforteachingallmedical,

science,engineeringandtechnologysubjects,whereasArabicwasonly

appropriateforteachingIslamicstudies,History,ArabicLiteratureand

Education.Theygavenumeroussocial,educational,scientific,vocationaland

technologicalreasonsfortheseresponses.

Al-Jarf(2008)interpretsherresultsasmeaningthatherrespondentsconsidered

EnglishtobeasuperiorlanguagetoArabicandthatArabicfacesaseriousthreat

fromthedominanceofEnglishinhighereducationduetothelackoflanguage

planningandpoliciestoprotectandpromotetheArabiclanguage.Interestingly,

Al-Jarf(2008)contrastsherresultswiththoseofpriorstudiesconductedin

SaudiArabiaandotherArabcountriesatleasttenyearspreviously,inwhich

studentshadshowntheirpreferenceforArabic-mediuminstruction,forwriting

projectsandexaminationsinArabicandforusingArabictextbooks.Sheclaims

thatherresultsshowthatstudentsfindEnglishmoreimportant,easierandmore

usefulthanArabic:theythinkthatstudyinginEnglishgivesthemamoresolid

knowledgebaseandallowsthemtoadvanceintheireducationandtoprepare

moresuccessfullyforacareer.Al-Jarf(2008)takesupacontrarypositiontoher

respondents,insistingthatArabicterminologyandArabictranslationsand

referencesbeusedatuniversitysothatthestatusofthelanguagecanbe

salvagedfromdecline.Similarly,otherArabacademicsinSaudiArabia(e.g.

HabbashandTroudi,2014)continuetoseetheteachingandlearningofEnglish,

whichisthelanguageofglobalizationintheArabworld,asarealthreattoArabic

andtoArabculturalidentity.

2.3.2EnglishversusIslam

Intheaftermathof9/11theSaudireligiouseducationsystemcameunder

scrutinyandcriticismduetoaccusationsthatitprovidedafertilegroundfor

31

Islamicextremism(ElyasandPicard,2013).Prokop(2003)givesahighlycritical

expositionofspecificelementsinSaudipublicschooltextbookswhichreflectthe

Wahhabiviewoftheworldofbelieversofthe‘true’faithandofthe‘other’world

ofnonbelievers.Shereferstothe‘inordinate’numberofhoursofreligious

educationatschoolanduniversity,totheemphasisonIslaminallacademic

levelsandtotheemphasisonrotelearningwhich,Prokopargues,inculcates

passivityandanunquestioningattitude.InresponsetoWesterncallsfor

educationalreform,Saudiofficialsrosetothedefenceoftheirschoolsystemand

themediaportrayedcriticismsasanattackonIslamitself(Prokop,2003).

However,Elyas(2008)drawsattentiontolateraffirmationsofintentionsto

reformtheeducationsystembySaudiauthorities.

FromacriticalTESOLviewpointKarmani(2005a)arguesthatafter9/11there

wasmountingpressureonMuslimgovernmentsnotonlytoreformeducational

curriculabutalsotopromotemoreEnglishandlessteachingofIslam.Indeed,

MahboobandElyas(2014)directlylinktheintroductionofEnglishintothefinal

yearofprimaryschoolinSaudiArabiain2004topost9/11U.S.political

pressuretoexpandtheEnglishlanguageprogrammeinSaudipublicschools.

Karmani(2005a)seestheteachingofEnglishasameanstopromulgateWestern

valuesandtoserveWesterneconomicinterestsinoil-richArabianGulfstates,

withtheresultofcombattingIslamicideologies,culturesandlanguages.

However,inresponsetoKarmani’s(2005b)argumentsagainsttheroleof

English,Kabel(2007)presentsacompellingcasefortheneedfordiscoursesof

appropriationofEnglish“togivevoicetoemergingagenciesandsubjectivities”

(p.136).KabelarguesthatIslamandEnglisharenotincommensurable:language

learnersbringtheirown‘hiddencurriculum’tothelearningprocessandEnglish

canbeusedtoaccessknowledgeandeconomicpoweraswellastocreate

discoursesofresistanceandappropriation.

Furthermore,Muslimscholars,suchasMohd-Asraf(2005),emphasisethe

importancegiveninIslamicsacredtextstotheacquisitionofknowledgeand

wisdom,whichrequiresmasteryofforeignlanguages.MahboobandElyas

(2014)alsocitequotationsfromtheQuran,inwhichdifferencesincultureand

32

languageare“notedandwelcomed”(p.133).Thelinkbetweenthepropagation

ofIslamandlearningEnglishisalsobroughtupbysomeMuslimresearchers(Al-

Hazmi,2007;Elyas,2008).ThustherelationshipbetweenIslamandEnglishisa

controversialissuewhichcontinuestobethesubjectofdebateintheMuslim

worldandinSaudiArabiainparticular.

AtthehighereducationlevelElyasandPicard(2013)arguethatanew

educationalparadigmofglobalizationandneo-liberalismhastakenoversince

9/11inSaudiArabia,inwhichcreativity,criticalindependentthinkingand

problem-solvingarevaluedoverthetraditionalpedagogiesofauthoritative

teaching,transmissionofknowledgeandrote-learning.Theresearcherscontend

thatWesternglobalpedagogieswhichencourageindividualismandprivate

enterpriseconflictwithSaudiArabia’stheocraticadministrativehigher

educationsystem,andtheyproposea‘glocalized’pedagogywhichaddressesthe

localneedsoflearnersandteachersbothtooperateinaglobalizedeconomyand

topreservetheirreligiousandnationalidentity.

2.4DevelopmentsinEnglisheducation

2.4.1LearningEnglishatschool

InSaudipublicschoolstherearefourforty-fiveminuteperiodsaweekofEnglish

asaForeignLanguage(EFL)atintermediateandhighschoollevels(Almutairi,

2007).In2003theSaudiMinistryofEducationmandatedthatEnglishshouldbe

introducedinthefinalyearofelementaryschool,grade6(Al-Jarf,2008),andin

2011thatEnglishshouldbetaughtfromgrade4(Al-Seghayer,2011).Theissue

ofexpandingEnglishinpublicschoolssparkedaheateddebateintheSaudi

Arabianmediabetweenconservativeandprogressiveelements,betweenthose

whofearedexposingprimaryschoolchildrentoaforeignlanguageandculture,

andthosewhoarguedthatlearningEnglishopensupavenuesofknowledgeand

opportunity(Al-Harbi,2002).Althoughthedebatecontinues,thediscourseof

learningEnglishasanecessarycomponentofbasiceducationintheinterestsof

globalcompetitivenessandacademicdevelopmentseemstobethedominantone

(Al-Hazmi,2007;Al-Seghayer,2011),particularlysincetheeducationalreforms

introducedduringthelateKingAbdullah’sruleasmonarch(2005-2015).

33

Onthewhole,EFLresearchhasfocusedonthelowlevelofEnglishproficiencyof

Saudilearnersandattributesthistothepoorteachingmethodsaswellastothe

negativeattitudeandlowmotivationoflearners(Al-Hazmi,2003,2007;Syed,

2003;Al-Seghayer2005).Theseresearchersarguethatstudentsdonotsee

Englishasdirectlyrelevanttotheirneedsandaresatisfiedwithjustmakingthe

gradetopassintothesubsequentyear.Syed(2003)claimsthatalthoughpolicy-

makersassociatemodernizationandprogresswithEnglish,“localstudentssee

noconcretelinksbetweenEnglishlanguageabilityandcommunicative

requirements”(p.338).Parentalattitudeshavealsobeendescribedas

indifferenttowardstheirchildrenlearningEnglish(Seghayer,2014)andthis

indifferencehasalsobeenseenasabarrierobstructinggenerallearninginSaudi

schools(Khan,2011).

InmostprivateschoolstheroleofEnglishisratherdifferent:Englishispartof

thecurriculumthroughoutthelevelsandsomeprivateschoolshavethefreedom

toteachsomesubjectsinEnglish(Alhawsawi,2013).Parentswhocanaffordit

prefertosendtheirchildrentoprivateschools,whichhavetofollowtheSaudi

curriculum,butcanaddextrasubjectsandextra-curricularactivities(Alhawsawi,

2013).PrivateschoolteachersoftenuseEnglishforcommunicationpurposes

andencouragestudentinteractionintheclassroom,sograduatesfromprivate

schoolstendtobemoreadvancedinEnglishthanpublicschoolgraduates

(Almutairi,2007).Since2005therehasbeenanincreaseinthenumberof

privateinternationalschoolsinwhichEnglishisthemediumofinstructionin

almostallsubjectsandteachersaremostlyexpatriateArabs(Al-Hazmi,2007).

2.4.2TheroleofEnglishinhighereducation

AttertiarylevelsEnglishisnowanimportantsubjectinthepreparatoryyearof

bothpublicandprivateuniversitiesandanincreasingnumberofsubjectsare

taughtthroughthemediumofEnglish(Alhawsawi,2013).Inthelargestpublic

universityintheKingdom,KingSaudUniversity,forexample,allundergraduate

programmesaretaughtinEnglish,exceptforArabicandIslamicstudies(Smith

andAbouammoh,2013).Thisdevelopmenthasalsosparkedoffapolarised

debateinwhichthepromotionofEnglishinacademicprogrammesisseeneither

34

asnecessaryformovingintotheglobaleconomyorasdetrimentaltothequality

ofeducationasit“isolatesstudentsfromtheirnativelanguage”(Al-Shehri,

2010).

However,educationalinitiativesimplementedbytheSaudigovernmentinrecent

yearshaveraisedthestatusofEnglish.In2011,TheKingAbdullahScholarship

Program,introducedin2005,fundedtheeducationofover100,000Saudis,of

whomonefifthwerewomen,atinternationaluniversitiesworldwide(Smithand

Abouammoh,2013).Aco-educationalinternationaluniversity,KingAbdullah

UniversityofScienceandTechnology(KAUST),wasestablishedin2009,asakey

researchandsciencecentre,toprovidehigherEnglish-mediumeducation

primarilyforstudentsfromoverseas(DonnandManthri,2010).Improvements

plannedattertiarylevelareaimedtoraiseSaudiuniversitiesto‘worldclass’

standardsinteachingandresearchsothatSaudigraduateswillbeenabledto

competeinternationally(SmithandAbouammoh,2013).Discoursesofgrowth

andincreasedparticipationintheglobalhighereducationarenathusseemto

havegainedtheupperhandandEnglish-mediumeducationisseenasintegralto

thisdevelopment.

Thegrowthofprivatehighereducationisencouragedinordertoprepare

graduatesforcareersintheprivate-sectoreconomy.Nineprivateuniversities

andtwenty-oneprivatecollegeshavebeenestablishedsince1999,inwhich

studentsobtaindegreesintechnicalandpracticalsubjectswhicharenotoffered

atpublicuniversities(SmithandAbouammoh,2013).TheMinistryofHigher

EducationoffersgenerousscholarshipstoSaudistudentswhocannotaffordthe

feessotheymaystudyatprivateuniversities(SmithandAbouammoh,2013).As

explainedinsection2.2.2,women’sprivatecollegesanduniversitieshavehelped

toraisethestatusoffemalestudentsandtopreparethemforawidervarietyof

professions.Theylayclaimto‘worldclass’facilitiesandeducationontheir

websitesandemphasisetheircollaborationwithinternationallyrenown

universitiesaswellastheirconnectionswithinternationalcorporationsandthe

localbusinesscommunity.

35

Al-Saraj(2011)explainsthattheaimsoftheseprivateEnglish-mediumcolleges

anduniversitiesaretoprovideaninternationalstandardofhighereducationto

Saudiwomenwhocannotstudyabroadsothattheymaybecomeprofessionalin

theirfield;tomeetthegrowingdemandsforadomestichighlyskilledlabour

forcetoreplaceexpatriates;andtoimproveeducationalmethodsfromthe

traditionalmemorisationoftextbookstoamoreactive,exploratoryand

analyticalapproach.Thedescriptionsofthesecolleges’preparationprogrammes

refertocreativethinking,personalandsocialdevelopmentandactivelearning

skills,afarcryfromthetraditionalmethodsofschoollearninginSaudiArabia.

Thegeneraleducationfirst-yearprogrammesarepromotedasprovidinga

broad-basedcorecurriculumwiththeaimofencouragingstudentstobecome

life-longlearnersandcreative,globalcitizens.WhileIslamicvaluesare

promotedinthemissionstatementsandcoursesinArabicandIslamicstudies

areobligatoryforallstudents,theskillswhichareemphasisedinthecourse

descriptionsarethoseofproblem-solving,logicalreasoningandcritical,

independentthinking.

2.5ResearchintoEnglishlanguagelearninginSaudiArabia

2.5.1InvestigationsofaspectsofEFLlearning

Asaconsequenceofthedrivetoimprovethestandardsinteachingandlearning

EnglishinSaudiArabia,muchpublishedresearchfocusesoninvestigating

currentteachingmethodsandlearnerstrategiesinpublicandprivateuniversity

EFLprogrammesandthenmakingpedagogicalrecommendationswithaviewto

improvinglearningperformance.Moststudiesarequantitativeandthedearthof

qualitativeresearchonELTintheMiddleEastgenerallyhasbeennoted(e.g.van

denHoven,2014).ThelanguagelearnerstrategiesofSaudiEFLstudents,for

example,havebeeninvestigatedinseveralquestionnairestudies(e.g.Alhaisoni,

2012)andhavefocusedparticularlyonacademicreading(e.g.Alsamadani,

2008)andacademicwriting(e.g.McMullen,2009).Studiesofstudentmotivation

andattitudetolearningEnglishandtowardsnativespeakersofEnglishhavealso

employedquantitativemethodstoinvestigatetypesandlevelsofmotivationand

attitudeaspredictorsofsuccessinEFLlearning(e.g.MoskovskyandAlrabai,

2009).Surveyresultsgenerallyshowhighlevelsofmotivationoverall,

36

particularlyofinstrumentalmotivation,anddemonstratestudents’positive

attitudestowardslearningEnglishandtowardsnativespeakers.

ExpatriateEFLteachersattertiarylevelhaveintroducedSaudistudentstomore

collaborativeandcommunicativeclassroommethods(Alhawsawi2013).There

havebeenanumberofstudiesonstudentviewsofthesenewmethodsand

approachestolearning.Forexample,intheirsurveyofthelearningpreferences

of310Saudifemaleuniversitystudentswithnativespeaker,TEFL-trained

teachers,Moores-Abdool,YahyaandUnzueta(2009)foundsomeevidenceof

‘culturaldissonance’:studentsgenerallyreportedthattheywereinfavourof

student-centredlearningsuchasgroupandpairactivitiesbutdidnotlikepeer-

reviewoftheirindividualwork.Amajoritythoughtthattheyshouldbe

dependentontheirteachersforinformationandthatsometimestheyneeded

thingstobeexplainedinArabic.Theresearchersconcludedthatstudentsare

generallywillingtoparticipateinmore‘western’modelsoflearningandthat

teachersshouldbetrainedtouseinnovativewaysofteaching.

2.5.2InvestigationsofEFLlearninginitssocioculturalcontext

Aswehaveseenfromthestudiessurveyedsofar,researchonEnglishlearningin

Saudihighereducationhastendedtofocusonindividualcharacteristicsor

specificaspectsofstudentlearning;fewhavestudiedtheseinrelationtowider

socialissueswhichimpactonstudentlearningexperiences.However,Almutairi

(2007)andAlhawsawi(2013)bothlookbeyondtheindividuallearnerinthe

classroominordertoexamineeducationalandsocioculturalfactorswhich

influencelearning.Elyas(2011,2014)alsoexploresSaudiEFLstudentidentity

withinthecompetingculturaldiscoursesofIslamandglobalisation.

Almutairi(2007)conductedamixed-methodstudyofthelearningstylesand

strategiesoffirst-yearSaudifemalestudentsofEnglishatapublicuniversity,in

whichshelinkslearningstyleandstrategiestosocialinteractionwithinthe

culturalandeconomiccontextofSaudiArabia.Herquestionnaireresults

revealedcertaineducationalandsocioculturalvariablesthatpredictedapattern

oflearningstylesandstrategies.Forexample,studentresponsesconcerning

37

theireducationalexperiencesandsocialactivitiescorrespondedtotheir

perceivedlackofinvolvementinthelearningprocess.

Almutairi’s(2007)qualitativedataalsoconnectedpatternsofsocialbehaviourto

learningbehaviours.Focusgroupdiscussionsonfuturepossibilities,forexample,

showedthatgoalsettingandstrategicplanninginlearningwerenotimportantto

thefemalestudentparticipants,whoseemedtodisplayacertainfatalismabout

futureachievements.Thisisdue,Almutairiargues,tosocietalexpectations,

familycultureandstereotypesofappropriatefemalebehaviour.Almutairi

(2007)linksthesesocialandculturalrestrictionstothelimitedrangeandvariety

ofprofessedlearningstylesandstrategieswhichreflectthetraditionalmethodof

teaching:

TheattractivenessofthetraditionalmethodofteachinginSaudiArabiaisthatitprotectsthereligioustraditionthatemphasizesconformitytocertaincodesoflearningandbehaviour,suchasreciting,memorizing,andcompliance.(Almutairi,2007:174)

Theshortcomingsofpreviousschooling,aswellasout-of-classexperiences,were

showntogreatlyaffectstudentlearningstylesandstrategies:relianceon

memorizationandthereproductionoftextbookinformationledtopassive

learningbehavioursandminimaluseofcognitiveandaffectivestrategies.

AlthoughAlmutairi(2007)seemstodwellonthestructuralconstraintswhich

holdbackprogresstoamorecollaborativeteachingandlearningapproach,

studentsexpressedtheirviewsinthefocusgroupdiscussionsonhowtomake

theclassroomamorestimulating,communicativeenvironmentinwhich

studentscouldfocusontheirproductiveratherthantheirreceptiveskills.

Alhawsawi(2013)alsoinvestigatedstudentexperiencesoflearningEnglishat

universityintermsofthelearningcontext:helookedspecificallyatinstitutional

influence,familyeducationalbackgroundandstudentinteractionwiththe

teachingapproachonthepreparatoryprogrammeofaHealthSciences

university.Inhisqualitativecasestudy,Alhawsawi(2013)interviewedasmall

sampleofmalestudentsandteachers,conductedclassroomobservationsand

useduniversityandSaudieducationalpolicydocumentstoinvestigatetheimpact

38

ofinstitutionandfamilyonlearningandteachingEFLinauniversityclassroom

context.

AlhawsawiinterpretedhisinterviewdataasshowingthattheimpactonEnglish

learningdependedonthestudent’sfamilybackgroundintermsofcultural

capital(Bourdieu,1991).Membersofthefamily,forexample,transmittedtheir

knowledge,skillsandattitudestotheirchildrenandsiblingsthroughengaging

theminintellectualtalkanddiscussions,providingthemwitheducational

resourcesandprivatetuitionandgenerallyservingaseffectivemodelsof

learningandstudyingpractice.Mostimportantly,aneducated,wealthymiddle-

classfamilybackgroundcouldprovideaprivateschooleducationandencourage

EL2competence.AlthoughAlhawsawi(2013)foundthatthosefromfamilies

withlittleculturalcapitalgenerallyhadnegativeviewsofthemselvesasstudents,

someweredeterminedtoovercometheirlowsocioeconomicstatusand

musteredsupportfromteachersandpeers.

Intermsofteachingandlearningonthepreparatoryprogramme,Alhawsawi

(2013)foundthatteachersadoptedeitherCommunicativeLanguageTeaching

(CLT)ortheGrammar-TranslationMethod(GTM)andthesedifferentteaching

approachesgreatlyaffectedstudents’perceptionsoflearningexperiences.

GenerallystudentsrespondedwelltoCLT,whichwastheapproachadvocatedon

programmedocuments,evenifthisapproachdifferedfromtheirEFLlearningat

school.Furthermore,thosestudentswhoalreadyhadsomeexperienceofCLT

fromtheirprivateeducationorfromEFLprivatetuitionfoundtheGTMapproach

toberathertedious.Alhawsawi(2013)arguesthattheuseofCLTprivileges

studentswithculturalcapitalandmarginalizesweakerstudentsfrom

underprivilegedbackgroundswhoaremorefamiliarwithGTMpractices.

However,heemphasisesstudentagencyinthenegotiationofstructuressuchas

institution,familyandteaching-learningclassroomactivities:otherfactorssuch

asadesireforeducation,skillatconversing,networkingandout-of-class

activitiescanprovidealternativesourcesofculturalcapital.Alhawsawi(2013)

concludesthathisfindingsreflectaninteractiverelationshipbetweenstudent

agencyandthestructureswithinwhichtheylearn.

39

Elyas’(2011,2014)studyoftheEFLlearningidentitiesoffirstyearmale

Educationstudentsatapublicuniversityinvestigatesthemasternarratives

(BenwellandStokoe,2006)withwhichthestudentsidentifyandhowthey

performtheiridentitieswithinwritten‘languagelearninghistories’.Elyas

contextualizesthelearners’storieswithinthechangingeducationpoliciesand

theopposingculturalinfluencesofpost9/11SaudiArabia.Sincehisrespondents

weretrainingtobeEnglishteachers,Elyasviewstheiridentitiesastransitional

andshapedbylocalpressuresinthesensethattheywerefacedwiththefuture

implementationoftheneweducationalpoliciesinpublicschools.Theywerealso

intransitionfromlearningEnglishinhighschooltostudyingthelanguageat

university.

Elyas(2011,2014)analysedtwenty-twostudentnarrativesfromthepointof

viewofstructureandcontentandthensettheminthewidercontextofmaster

narrativesinordertoexaminehowidentitieswereconstructedintheirwriting.

Hefoundthatmostofthestudentnarrativesfocusedfirstonthewriter’sfeelings

towardshislevelofEnglishandthatthenarrativescouldbedividedintosuccess

andfailurestories.WhileallstudentsreferredtotheimportanceofEnglishand

learningEnglish,ninewrotestorieswhichexpressedsatisfactionwiththeir

languagelevelandtheresttendedtodenigratethemselves,theirteachersand

theirsocietyfortheirowninadequaciesinlanguagelearning.Mostnarratives

seemedtoplacemorevalueonself-studyandonlineinteractions.Thesuccess

storiesinparticularemphasisedtheroleofthemediaasavehicleoflanguage

improvementandreflectedthemasternarrativeofindividualresponsibilityfor

success,whichElyas(2014)seesasaWesternindividualratherthanacollective

conceptionofculture.Students’failurestoriesbeganwithanaccountofthe

difficultiesoflearningEnglishintermsoftheirArabicbackground.Theywenton

toblamethepoorattitudeoftheirEnglishschoolteachersandthelackof

understandingofstudents’lowlevelofEnglishamonguniversityteachers.Some

respondentsputpressureonthemselvestodobetterinshortself-motivational

‘pep-talks’andendedwithadvicetootherstudentstotakealanguagecourseand

learnbythemselves.

40

Thus,contrarytoconservativemasternarrativesofafixed,Islamic/Arab

identity,studentsconstructedindividualidentitiesalignedto“globalisation,the

informationageandindividuality”(Elyas,2014:28).ThevaluingofEnglishand

learningthroughEnglish-dominatedmediaarepresentedasprovidingstudents

witheconomicandsocialcapitalintheirnarrativesandthereislittleevidenceof

thediscourseofresistancetoEnglishasanimperialisticlanguage.However,

Elyas(2014)seesthestudents’viewofEnglishasa‘ticket’forabetterlifeas

simplisticandcautionsagainsttheuncriticalacceptanceofthe‘Americanisation’

ofSaudiculture.Heconcludesbyacknowledgingthecomplexinfluenceson

students’learningidentitiesinSaudiArabia.

2.6SummaryoftheSaudicontext

InthischapteronSaudiArabiaIfocusedontherapidchangesandcritical

transitionstakingplaceinthecountryintermsofsocialandeducational

developments,thestatusofwomenandtheroleofEnglishandlearningEnglish.

AtthesametimeIemphasisedthereligious,politicalandacademicdiscourses

whichcontinuetocompetewithdiscoursesofwomen’semancipation,of

globalizationandofthespreadingofEnglisheducation.Theopeningofprivate

universitiesforwomenwasseenasasignificantstepinraisingtheirstatus,as

womenareintroducedtonew‘western’stylepedagogiesandpreparedfora

widerangeofprofessions.ResearchconductedinSaudiArabiaonEFLand

English-mediumeducationsuggeststhatstudentsrespondwelltoinnovative

learningpracticesandhavepositiveattitudestolearningEnglishandtostudying

academicsubjectsthroughEnglish.Whileresearcherswhofocusedonthewider

socioculturalcontextbroughtoutthestructuralconstraintsonlearning,theyalso

emphasisedstudentagencyinnegotiatingstructuresinordertobecomemore

successfullearners.

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CHAPTER3:LEARNERIDENTITYINAPPLIEDLINGUISTICS

3.1Introduction

InthisLiteratureReviewIfocusonthethreemainareasoflearneridentity

theoryandresearchwithwhichmythesisisconcerned:

a) Developmentsinidentitytheoryandresearchinappliedlinguistics

b) Narrativeresearchintoidentityandtheconceptofnarrativeidentity

c) Learnertransitionsintohigherinstitutionsoflearning

Afteradiscussionoftheliteratureconcerningtheemergenceofidentityinthe

contextofsecondlanguagelearning(SLL),thechapterturnstoresearchonL2

learnernarrativesasimportantvehiclesforidentitydelineationandthenmoves

ontodiscusstheliteratureonlearningtransitionstohigherinstitutionsandin

particularonthelinksbetweenlearner/studentaccountsoftransitionand

identitytrajectories.

AsSLLresearchersmoved,inthe1990’s,fromanindividual/cognitivefocusto

onewhichwasmoresociallyoriented,questionsoflanguagelearneridentity

begantoemergeintheirstudies(Block,2007).NortonPeirce(1995:12),for

example,calledfor“acomprehensivetheoryofidentitythatintegratesthe

languagelearnerandthelanguagelearningcontext”.However,whileSLL

researchbegantotakeamoresituatedapproach,contextwasgenerallyseenas

thesurroundingcultureandsociety,whichremainedoutsidetheinnerworldof

thelanguagelearner(UshiodaandDörnyei,2009).Proposingamorerelational

approachtocontextualelementsinstudiesofmotivationandidentity,Ushioda

andDörnyei(2009:220)arguefor:

…afocusontheinteractionofthisself-reflectiveintentionalagent,andthefluidandcomplexsystemofsocialrelations,activities,experiencesandmultiplemicro-andmacro-contextsinwhichthepersonisembedded,moves,andisinherentlypartof.

Anumberofinterrelatedtheoreticalandanalyticalframeworksapproach

languagelearneridentityinthisway,tovaryingdegrees,suchasthosewhich

adoptasociocultural(Lantolf,2000),orlanguagesocialisation(Watson-Gegeo,

2004)orpoststructuralistandcriticalperspective(Norton,2000;Pavlenkoand

42

Blackledge,2004)towardscontextsoflanguagelearninganduse.Others,suchas

Lamb(2009),havesoughttointegratepsychologicalapproacheswithmore

sociologically-orientedtheoriesinordertoinvestigatetheformationofL2

identityinspecificsocialsettings.InthisliteraturereviewIfocusonabroadly

poststructuralistapproachtothetheoryandinvestigationofEL2identitysinceit

isonewhichhasbeenproductivelyusedinappliedlinguistics(e.g.Norton,2000;

PavlenkoandBlackledge,2004;Menard-Warwick,2011;Preece,2016).Ialso

incorporateelementsfromsocioculturalandlanguagesocializationperspectives

inordertoreachanunderstandingofthereferentialanddiscursiveconstruction

ofidentity.

3.2IdentitytheoryandresearchinappliedlinguisticsSince identity is continuously and constantly produced and

reproduced, sketched anddesigned, andoften co-constructedby ‘self’ and ‘other’,we should strive todemonstratehow identities are (re) produced through language (andothermedia) andhow theycomeintoexistencethroughsocialinteraction. (DeFina,SchiffrinandBamberg,2006)

3.2.1Thepoststructuralistapproachtoidentity

Whileastructuralistapproachtoidentitytendstoviewthepersonasaproductof

theirsocialconditionsandasshapedbytheir‘culture’orthefixedworldviewand

modeofbehaviourofaparticulargroupofpeople(Block,2007),a

poststructuralistapproach,asexemplifiedintheabovequotation,approaches

identityasshiftingandmulti-layeredandasemergentindiscourse.Thislatter

approachemergedfromsociologicalandanthropologicalfieldsofinquirybuta

growingnumberofauthorsandresearchersinthefieldofappliedlinguisticshave

takenupapoststructuralistviewofidentitytovaryingdegreessincethelate

1990’s(Block,2007).

Pavlenko(2002)distinguishespoststructuralistfromsocio-psychological

approachestotheorisingthesocialfactorsinsecondlanguagelearninganduse.In

herview,socio-psychologicalapproachestendtoseparatesocialfactorsfrom

individualorpsychologicalfactorswhereaspoststructuralistapproachescanshow

43

howmotivation,attitudesorlanguagelearningbeliefsareshapedbythesocial

contextofthelearner.Inpoststructuralistapproacheslanguageisviewedas

symboliccapital(Bourdieu,1991),asastepping-stonetogreatersocialmobility,a

higherlevelofeducationandsuperiorcareerprospects.Pavlenko(2002:284)

arguesthattheviewoflanguageassymboliccapitalhasanadvantageoverthe

socio-psychologicalnotionof‘instrumentalmotivation’:

…asitallowsustolinktheindividualandthesocial,tracingtheprocessbywhichparticularlinguisticvarietiesandpracticesbecomeimbuedwithvaluesordevaluedinthelinguisticmarketplace.

Thisviewoflanguageassymboliccapitalislinkedtotheconceptofinvestment

introducedbyNortonPeirce(1995)andlaterdefinedbyheras“thesociallyand

historicallyconstructedrelationshipoflearnerstothetargetlanguage,andtheir

oftenambivalentdesiretolearnandpracticeit”(Norton,2013:50).An

investmentinthetargetlanguageisseenasaninvestmentinthelanguage

learner’sidentity,whichiscomplex,contradictoryanddynamic.Thismarkedan

importantdevelopmentinthatpreviousresearchintolanguagelearning,priorto

the1990’s,hadtendedtoapproachidentityasafixed,unitary,measurableentity

whichwas“generallyframedasafixedandmeasurablephenomenon,clearly

relatabletosuccessfulorunsuccessfullanguagelearningexperiences”(Block,

2007:72).

Languageisalsoseen,inpoststructuralistapproaches,asthesiteofidentity

constructionandnegotiationandL2learnersandusersasinvolvedina

discursiveprocessoftakingupcertainsubjectpositionsandofpositioning

others.DrawingonWeedon’s(1997[19873])feministtheoryofsubjectivityin

discourse,Norton(2000,2013)contendsthatidentityconstructionsareshaped

bysocialcontextbutasagentssecondlanguagelearnersandusersmaycontest

certainpositioningsbyconstructingmoreempoweringdiscourses.Forexample,

inNorton’s(2013)reviewofherstudyofimmigrantwomeninToronto,she

describeshowoneofthewomen,Martina,setupacounter-discourseatworkby

3Firsteditionsareshowninsquarebrackets.

44

resistingherEnglish-speakingcolleagues’positioningofherasanimmigrantin

favourofherself-positioningasmother.

Menard-Warwick(2005)takesissuewithwhatsheseesasthecontradiction

betweenthefluidityandthecontinuityofsubjectivities/identitiesinNorton’s

work.Martina’smaternalidentity,forexample,remainedconstantthroughout

theresearchperiod,whichappearstoconflictwithpoststructuralistviewsof

subjectivitiescontinuallyshiftingwithindiscourse.Inrelationtolanguage

learning,Menard-Warwick(2005)askstowhatextentindividualsmaintain‘a

senseofcontinuousidentity’acrosssocialcontextsanddiscoursesandhowthis

mayaffectlearning.InthefieldofSLA,Menard-Warwick(2005)concludesthat

the“contradictionbetweencontinuityandchangeintheoriesofidentityremains

unresolved”(p.262).

Inasimilarvein,Block(2009)disputesthecommonuseof‘identity’asacover-

allterminappliedlinguistics.Whileheacceptsthatidentitiesaregenerally

theorizedas“sociallyconstructed,emergent,ongoingnarrativesthatindividuals

perform,interpretandprojectmultimodally”(p.216),Blockproblematizesthis

poststructuralistapproachandurgesappliedlinguisticsresearchersto

distinguishbetween‘identity’and‘subjectposition’or‘subjectivity’.WhileBlock

(2009)views‘subjectivity’asmoreephemeral,similarlytoWeedon’s(1997:32)

referencetosubjectivityas:“constantlyreconstitutedindiscourseeachtimewe

thinkorspeak”,Blockarguesthat‘identity’seemstoimplysomethingmore

permanent,akintoGee’s(1999:39)definitionof‘core’(asopposedto‘socially

situated’)identities:

…whatevercontinuousandrelatively“fixed”senseofselfunderliesourcontinuallyshiftingmultipleidentities.

ThethirdtermBlock(2009)discusses,‘subjectposition’,denotes“theconstant

andongoingpositioningofindividualsininteractionswithothers”(p.217).The

focusisstillonthediscursive,moment-to-momentsituationbut,asindividuals

takeupsubjectpositionsindiscourse,thereisasenseinwhichtheyarecreating

coherentself-narratives,appropriatetoaspecifictimeandplace.Although

45

identitytheoriststendtousetheterms‘identity’,‘subjectivity’and‘subject

position’interchangeably,Block(2009)recommendsthat,intermsofnarrative

research,itwouldbemoreusefultoapproachidentityasatemporarily‘fixed’

senseofself,whichremainsconstant,developsorchangesovertimeandspace,

whileafocusonemergentsubjectivitiesorsubjectpositionsmightshowhow

identityisconstructedindiscursiveinteractions.

Afterthisintroductiontopoststructuralistapproachestothestudyofidentityin

appliedlinguistics,Imoveontoadiscussionofdevelopmentsintheinvestigation

ofidentity,particularlyinitslinkstodiscourse,topositioning,self-presentation

andperformancetheoryandresearchandtoaperformativeapproachtoidentity.

Goffman’s(1959,1981)workonself-presentationinsocialinteractionsand

Bamberg’s(1997)modelof‘narrativepositioning’focusontheroleofsocial

contextininvestigationsofidentityandthushaveaprominentpositioninthis

literaturereview.Igoontoexaminetheroleofsocialstructureandindividual

agencyinidentitystudiesandshowhowtheconstructsof‘communitiesof

practice’(LaveandWenger,1991;Wenger,1998)and‘imaginedcommunity’

(Anderson,1991;KannoandNorton,2003)frameidentityworkandconnect

identitytothesocialworldoftheindividuallearner.

3.2.2Investigatingidentity

3.2.2.1Identityanddiscourse

ThefocusondiscoursehasbeenanimportantdevelopmentinSLLresearchin

relationtotheemergenceofidentity.Departingfromtraditionaldefinitionsof

discourse,whichassociatethetermwiththedetailedlinguisticstudyoforaland

writtentexts,socialscientistsinterpretdiscourseinawidersensetomeana

languageandaprocessofknowledgeproduction(Block,2007).Broader

interpretationsofthetermmakelinksbetweendiscourseandidentity.For

example,Gee(1996:127)definesDiscourseas:

…asortofidentitykitwhichcomescompletewiththeappropriatecostumeandinstructionsonhowtoact,talkandoftenwritesoastotakeonaparticularsocialrolethatotherswillrecognize.

46

HereDiscourseisviewedasameaning-makingpracticewhichshapesidentityby

definingthewayindividualspresentthemselvestoothersandnegotiatetheir

roles.

InadditiontoGee’s(1996)broadviewofDiscourse,Menard-Warwick(2005)

alsoemphasisesFoucault’s(1984)conceptionofdiscourseanditsconnectionto

subjectivityasinfluentialonstudiesinappliedlinguistics:discourseisthe

authoritativespeechortextofpowerfulsocialandpoliticalinstitutionswhich

regulatemacro-levelandmicro-levelinteractions.ThusNorton(2013:54)views

socioculturallyavailablediscoursesas“thecomplexesofsignsandpracticesthat

organisesocialexistenceandsocialreproduction”whicharegenerallyconducted

throughlanguage.Thesecanbeseenasresourcesforidentityconstruction,but

alsoasconstraintsontherangeofidentitiesthatindividualscanperceiveand

projectinspecificinteractions(DeFina,SchiffrinandBamberg,2006).

Whilerecognisingthatidentitiesarediscursivelyconstructed,poststructuralist

approachesvaryintheemphasistheyplaceonthelocalcontextofspecific

interactionsorontheirwiderpoliticalandsocialcontexts.Forexample,

ConversationAnalysts(e.g.Stokoe,2000)tendtofocusexclusivelyonidentities

emergingintalk-in-interactionandignorethelargercontext,whereasCritical

Discourseanalysts(e.g.Fairclough,1995)placemuchemphasisonthe

representationofidentitiesattheexpenseoftheirnegotiationininteraction.A

morebalancedapproachisneeded:onewhichincorporatesbothananalysisof

identitiesconstructedandnegotiatedininteractionandananalysisof

positioningwithindominantsocialdiscourses.

Moststudieswhichelicitlanguagelearners’perspectivesinself-reportstendto

analysetheirdataatcontentlevel,ratherthanexaminetheemergenceofidentity

atthelevelofinteraction.Anumberofstudies(e.g.Richards,2006),however,

haveanalysedclassroomtalkinsecondlanguageinstitutionalsettingsinorderto

investigateidentityengagementandNorton(2000,2013)drawsattentionto

specificcommunicationencountersbetweennativeandnon-nativespeakers.

However,onlyafewSLLstudies(e.g.Barkhuizen,2010;Rugen,2013)havetaken

47

intoaccounttheinteractivediscourseitselfinvolvedintheresearchinterviewor

conversationconcerningtheperformanceandnegotiationofidentityofthe

languagelearner.

3.2.2.2Identityandpositioning

Onewayofcapturingtheemergentmultiplesubjectpositionstakenupin

discoursehasbeenthroughtheapplicationofpositioningtheory.Daviesand

Harré(1999:37)definepositioningas“thediscursiveprocesswherebypeople

arelocatedinconversationsasobservablyandsubjectivelycoherentparticipants

injointlyproducedstorylines”.Intheirengagementinconversations,individuals

situatethemselvesandaresituatedbyothersinlinewiththeirsenseofwhat

constitutesacoherentnarrativesubjectpositionfortheparticularactivity,time

andplace(Block,2007).Thuspositioningtheoristsexaminetheco-construction

ofidentitybetweenspeakersandhow“speakersadopt,resistandoffer‘subject

positions’thataremadeavailableindiscoursesor‘masternarratives’.”(Benwell

andStokoe,2006).

Positioningresearchonnarrativeidentityhasbeencriticised,however,for

assumingthataprioriculturalidentitiesarereproducedinspecificnarratives

(DeFinaandGeorgakopoulou,2012),whichtendstodetractfromtheinteractive

emergenceofidentity.Bamberg’s(1997)‘narrativepositioning’modelaimsto

locateidentityinthelocal,interactiveaccomplishmentofeverydaystorytelling.

Thisanalyticframeworkoperatesonthreeinterrelatedlevelswhichallowthe

analysttomovefromthelocalcontexttowidersocioculturaldiscourses:level1

oftheframeworkconsidershowtheeventsunfoldandhowthecharactersare

drawnup,positionedandevaluatedinthestory;level2examinesthe

interactionalaccomplishment,narrativedevices,rhetoricalfunctionsandthe

self-positioningofthenarratorvis-á-vishis/herinterlocutor(s);finallylevel3

bringsthefirsttwolevelstogetherinordertoanswerthequestion:howdo

narratorspositionthemselveswithrespecttodominantdiscourses(master

narratives)whichshapethesocioculturalcontext?Bamberg(2004)claimsthat

hisconceptofpositioningisanagentiveratherthanadeterministicviewinthat

48

itshows“howsubjectspositionthemselvesinrelationtodiscoursesbywhich

theyarepositioned”(p.225).

SomeappliedlinguisticsresearchershaveusedBamberg’snarrativepositioning

modeltoanalysethenarrativesofsecondlanguagelearners.Barkhuizen(2010),

forexample,drawsonnarrativepositioningtheorytoshowhowapre-service

teacherofEnglishinNewZealandpositionsherselfasTonganimmigrant,

teacher,activistandinvestorwithindominantdiscoursesofimmigrationand

languageteachereducation.Barkhuizendistinguishes‘smallstories’,whichare

embeddedinlongerstretchesofconversationandareseenasdiscursively

constructed,from‘bigstories’orlifehistoriesoftencompiledfrommultiple

interviews.Inadditiontoaline-by-line‘smallstory’analysis,Barkhuizenused

datafromhisparticipant’s‘bigstory’collectedovertimeinordertoilluminate

thewidersocialcontextofidentityconstruction.

Rugen(2013),workinginthecontextofauniversityinJapan,alsouseda

narrativepositioningapproachinhisexaminationofnegotiationsoflanguage

learnerandlanguageteacheridentitiesinconversationalnarratives.Inone

particularexcerptofanarrative,heshowshowastudentonanEnglishteaching

methodologycoursefashionsan‘expert’identityasalanguageteacherinher

accountofpreparinghersisterforheruniversityentranceexaminationwhich

shepassed.Atthesametimeshepositionsherselfasalinguistic‘novice’inher

tellingbyfirstusingacodeswitchingstrategyandthenbyconsultingthe

researcher,aslinguistic‘expert’.Rugen’sconclusionisthatanalysing

conversationalinteractionsusingnarrativepositioningcanilluminatethe

contradictionsandidentitystrugglesofsecondlanguagestudentswhoare,inthis

case,learningtobecomeEnglishteachers.Importantly,Rugen(2013)does

recommendthatfuturestudiesfollowpre-serviceteachersoverthecourseof

theirprogrammeinordertoobtainamorelongitudinalviewofthe“dynamic

processesofchange”(p.213)andto“shedlightonhow/whetheridentities

sedimentovertime”(p.214).

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3.2.2.3Identity,performanceandperformativity

Theideathatidentityoriginatesnotfromanindividualselfbutfromthedoingof

identityininteractionwasfundamentaltoGoffman’s(1959)workonself-

presentation.Hisdramaturgicalperspectivethrowslightontheconstructionand

reconstructionofidentityinorderforspeakerstomanageandnegotiate

desirableselvesinsocialinteractions.Ifperformances,accordingtoGoffman,are

‘shows’topersuadeothers,thenaudienceresponseandindeedtheroleofthe

audiencebecomeimportantconsiderationsinidentityresearch(Riessman,

2008).

Onthepartoftheaudience,theinterpretationofself-presentationand

performanceiscomplicatedbythedistinctivenotionsofwhatindividuals‘give’

and‘giveoff’inface-to-faceinteractions(Goffman,1959).Verbalinformation

mightbepartofanindividual’sdeliberateself-presentation,butthereareother

expressivemeanssuchastoneofvoiceandfacialexpressions,whichare‘given

off’andmightbeunintentional.Goffman(1981)laterproposedthatpresenting

oneselfininteractioninvolvestakingacertain‘footing’oralignmenttowardsthe

otherparticipantsandthecontentoftheirtalk.Forexampleanintervieweemay

presenthimself/herselfascollaborativetoaninterviewerintheroleheorshe

takesupinthestoryworldofanarrative.Goffman(1981)alsodeconstructsthe

notionofspeaker:thespeakercanbean‘author’oronewhocreatesan

utterance,an‘animator’orpersonwhoactuallyspeaksotherpeople’swords,a

‘figure’oronewhoisacharacterinthestoryworldandfinallythespeakermight

takeonafootingas‘principal’orsomeonewhoiscommittedtowhatthewords

say.Tellersarethussituatedinthestorytellingworldbuttheyalsoanimatethe

storyworldandpresentthemselvesthroughtheirevaluationsofthespeechof

others(DeFinaandGeorgakopoulou,2012).

Similarly,Tannen(2007[1987])arguesthattherepresentationofspeechin

dialogueis“anarrativeact”(p.125)whichdoesnotreportonaconversationbut

servestoanimatethroughdialogueandparalinguisticfeatures,thusconstructing

adramaforanaudiencewho“becomesinvolvedbyactivelyinterpretingthe

significanceofcharacterandaction”(p.124).Thefunctionofconstructed

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dialogueisalsotopresentamoralorevaluativestancetowardsthe‘voices’of

othersfromwithinthedrama.Vitanova(2013[2005])describesthisasthe

strategyof‘double-voicing’(Bakhtin,1981),inwhichnarrators’voicesclashwith

thoseofothers,thusinvestingwordswiththenarrator’sownevaluationsand

novelmeanings.Baynham(2006)alsoemphasisesthatbringinginothers’voices

is“acentrallinguistictool”(p.385)forconstructingthenarrator’sspeaking

positioninagreementorincontrastwithothers.Koven(2012)buildsonthis

conceptofmultivocalityandshowshowspeakerstakeupmultipleroles

concurrently.Narratorandinterlocutorrolescanco-occur,suchaswhena

speakernarratesapasteventandusesdevicessuchasintensifiers(e.g.‘so

much’,‘nothing’)orlaughsthroughout,thusdisplayinghis/herstancetothe

narratedeventinthehereandnow.

Pennycook(2004)suggeststhatlanguageandidentitycanbestbeunderstood

throughtheconceptualizationofperformativity:

Performativityopensupawayofthinkingaboutlanguageuseandidentitythatavoidsfundamentalistcategories,suggestingthatidentitiesareformedinthelinguisticperformanceratherthanpregiven(p.17).

Ifidentityisseenasan‘actingout’,thenperforminganidentitycanbe“ameans

ofrefashioningtheself”(p.16)byclaimingnewsubjectpositions.

Itisimportantheretomakeadistinctionbetweenthenotionsofperformance

andperformativitywhicharesometimesconflatedbuthavedifferenttheoretical

antecedents(Bricknell,2003).Pennycook(2004)attributeshisuseofthenotion

ofperformativityinlanguageuseandidentitytoButler’s(2007[1990])workon

genderidentity.Butlercontendsthat“genderprovestobeperformative-thatis,

constitutingtheidentityitpurportstobe”(2007:34).Thereisnopre-existing

subjectbuttheselfisconstitutedin“anexteriorspacethroughastylized

repetitionofacts”(p.191).Theserepeatedactstakeplace“withinahighlyrigid

regulatoryframe”(p.45)sothat,throughtheincessantrepetitionofgendered

normsofmasculinityandfemininity,agenderedsubjectisinvoked(Brickell,

2003).

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InheruseofperformativityButler(1997)explicitlydrawsfromAustin’sspeech

acttheoryinwhichconstativeorperlocutionaryactsaredistinguishedfrom

performativeorillocutionaryones.Intheillocutionaryspeechact“thename

performsitself,andinthecourseofthatperformingbecomesathingdone”

(Butler,1997:44),whereasperlocutionaryactsofspeech“producecertain

effectsastheirconsequence”(p.3)whicharenotthesameasthespeechact.As

anexampleofaperformativespeechactpertainingtogenderidentity,Butler

(1997:49)usestheexampleofadoctor’spronouncement“it’sagirl”which

beginsastringofappellations“bywhichthegirlistransitivelygirled”.Thusfor

Butlerlinguisticperformativityisnotperformance:itisinrepeated

interpellationornamingthatgenderidentitycomesintobeingandnotasan

achievementofactorsenactingtheirgender(Brickell,2003).

Whileauthorswhoadoptanethnomethodologicalapproachtoidentitysuchas

Goffman(1956,1981)andZimmerman(1998)alsoviewgenderassocially

constructed,they,unlikeButler,understandgenderperformanceasa‘doing’by

actorsinsocialinteractions.Itisthroughtheirpresentationandperformanceof

selfasaninteractiveaccomplishmentand“withinthecontextofcultural

resources,prohibitionsandcompulsions”thatanactor’sidentitycomesinto

being(Bricknell,2003:173).Theself,then,canpre-existthe‘doing’butit“never

pre-existsthesocialrelationshipsinwhichitisembedded”(p.172).

Thenotionofperformanceincommunicativesituationsisseenasadynamic

process,whichinvolvesperformerandaudience,andperformancedevicessuch

astheuseofquotedspeechandvoicepatternshelptheperformerguidethe

interpretationsoftheaudienceandmaintaintheirattention(Bauman,1986).

Theartfulnessoftheperformanceisanimportantconsiderationasithighlights

“thewayinwhichcommunicationiscarriedout,aboveandbeyonditsreferential

content”(Bauman1986:3).Thusoralnarrativescanbeseenasperformances

‘keyed’tothenarratedevent(thestoryworld)andthenarrative(thetelling

world)inwhichtheinteractiontakesplace(DeFinaandGeorgakopoulou,2012).

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3.2.2.4Identityandemotions

Fromwithinapoststructuralistframeworkemotionsandsubjectivityareseenas

negotiatedindiscourses,inpracticesandinperformances(Zembylas,2003).In

earlysecondlanguagelearningresearch,affectivefactorswereseenasvariables

pertainingtoindividuallanguagelearners(Norton,2013).Diaryaccountsof

languagelearningwereanalysed,forexample,inrelationtoaffectivefactorssuch

asanxietyratherthanasdiscursiveconstructionsofidentity(Block,2007).

Zembylas(2003)arguesthatwhileemotionsconstitutetheself,theyarealso

sociallyorganisedandmanaged.Individualsthus‘do’theiremotionsin

discursivesituations.Zembylas(2003)theorizesthelinkbetweenemotionsand

subjectivityasmorethandiscursive:itisalsoperformativeandembodied.

Performancesoffrustration,shame,disappointmentandpowerlessnesscanalso

bestrategiesofresistanceandcansubvertidentitiesas“viewingsubjectivityand

emotionasperformancesor“assemblages”openspossibilitiesforchallenging

assumedstructures…”(p.119).Emotionsarethusnotseenastheresultofself-

reflectionbutasdynamic,shiftingandconstitutedinsocialinteractionand

performance.

3.2.3Theroleofstructureandagencyinidentityresearch

Attributionsofstructureandagencyplayakeyroleinidentitystudies.Identity

canbeseenasconditionedbysocialinteractionandsocialstructureandasa

projectofindividualagency(Block,2007).Pennycook(2001:120)expressedthe

theoreticalconcernsofappliedlinguistsregardingstructureandagencythus:

Thechallengeistofindawaytotheorizehumanagencywithinstructuresofpowerandtotheorizewaysinwhichwethink,act,andbehavethatontheonehandacknowledgeourlocationswithinsocial,cultural,economic,ideological,discursiveframeworksbutontheotherhandallowsusatleastsomepossibilityoffreedomofactionandchange.

Socialstructuressuchaseducationsystems,peergroups,stategovernments

constrainindividualchoicesinassumingidentities;forexample,traditional

societiesimposeprescribedgenderrolesonmenandwomen(Block,2007).

Norton(2013)looksatsocialstructuresandsocialrelationsofpowerinsociety

whichimpactonlanguagelearning.Sheseespowerasoperatingbothatthe

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macrolevelofgovernmentandinstitutionsandatthemicrolevelofencounters

betweenpeoplewhohavedifferentaccesstomaterialandsymbolicresources.

Thusidentityisunderstoodintermsofconditionswhichstructureopportunities

fortherealizationofdesiresforrecognition,affiliationandsymbolicresources.

Gender,ethnicityandsocialclassarenottreatedasbackgroundvariablesbutas

implicatedincomplexwaysinidentityconstruction.

Ahearn’s(2001:112)definitionofagencyas:“thesocioculturallymediated

capacitytoact”hasbeenexpandedbydiscursivepsychologists,sociolinguists

andappliedlinguistswhotendtoexamineagencyinlocalcontextsof

communication.Reviewingherresearchcarriedoutinthe1990’s,Norton(2013)

expandsonherinterpretationsofthestoriesofagroupofimmigrantlanguage

learnersinCanadaastheexpressionoftheirambivalentandcontradictory

positionsinrelationtogainingaccesstoEnglish-speakingnetworksandinthe

contextoftheirlanguagelearningexperiencesinESLclassrooms.Sheshows

howtheirsubjectpositionsdevelopovertimethroughtheirspecificidentity

strugglesatworkandwithfamilyandfriends.

Canagarajah(2004)sees‘voice’asthelinguisticexpressionofagencyaslanguage

learnersnegotiatetheirsubjectpositionsindiscourses.Itisthroughlanguage

thattheycanmodifyoropposethevoiceswhichrepresentdominantinstitutions

anddiscourses.Similarly,Vitanova(2013[2005]),drawingfromBakhtin’s(1984)

theoryofdialogicvoiceandauthorship,investigatedtheenactmentofagencyby

secondlanguagespeakers.Herintervieweestalkedaboutthepainfulexperience

oflosingtheir‘voice’when,asEasternEuropeanimmigrantsnewlyarrivedinthe

US,theywereunabletounderstandandanswernative-speakers.Itwasthrough

theirdevelopingunderstandingsoftheirsocialcontextandtheircreative,

subsequentactstoappropriatenewdiscoursesandtochallengenativespeakers’

oppressivediscourses,oftenthroughlaughterandirony,thattheyfoundwaysto

authorthemselvesinasecondlanguage.

ThusVitanova’sBakhtinianapproachfocusesonthe“personasacreative

process,anauthorwhoiscontinuouslyre-creatingher/hislivedworld”

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(2013:167).Asinpoststructuralistapproaches,theselfisnotfreefromits

discursiveconstitutionbut,intheestablishmentofa‘voice’,cantranscendits

subjectpositions.Similarly,Menard-Warwick(2005)seesBakhtiniantheoryas

allowingforhumanagency,notthroughshort-termprocessesofinteraction,but

throughtheorchestrationofnewdiscoursestograduallyauthortheselfina

secondlanguage.Thesen’s(1997)studyhadearlieremphasisedtheagencyof

herSouthAfricanstudentintervieweesintheiraccountsofemergentidentityin

whichtheyselectivelylocatedthemselvesinawiderangeofsocialand

institutionaldiscourses.Consequently,theircomplexandcontradictorystances

seemedtoproblematizetheviewthattheyweredefinedandconstrainedby

powerfuldiscourses.

Furthermoreinthediscursiveandperformativestudyofnarratives,narrators

canbeseentoattributeagencytothemselvesascharactersintheirstoryworlds

(Bamberg,2011;DeFina,2006).Agencyisalsoseenasadimensionofidentity

navigationinthatspeakersfacean‘agencydilemma’(Bamberg,2011):whether

tousenarrativedeviceswhichconstructthemaspassiverecipientsadoptinga

‘victim’role(world-to-person)orwhethertopositionthemselvesasagentive

andincontrol(person-to-world).Inaddition,aswehaveseen,narrators

frequentlyusetheperformativedeviceofreportedspeechtopresentthemselves

asbothethicalandagentivesocialactors(Tannen,2007[1987];DeFinaand

Georgakopoulou,2012).

Similarly,Coffey(2013)arguesthatinthe‘actingout’ofscenesfromthestory

worldbyusingreportedanddirectspeech,narratorsagentivelyposition

themselvesandbringthescenestolifefortheiraudience.Focusingonthe

articulationofagencyindiscourse,Coffeyanalysedaninterviewextractasan

episodeinthenarrativeofa62-year-oldman,Paul,lookingbackataFrench-

learningtriptoFrancewhenhewasa16-year-oldschoolboy.Thenarrator’stalk

isseenasmorethanreferential:itisareconstitutionofexperiencethroughthe

constructionanddramatizationofnarrativeepisodes,whichCoffeyseesasthe

expressionofagency.Thisalmostexclusivefocusonemergentagencyin

interactionistapproachestoidentityhasbeencriticisedbyBlock(2007),who

55

cautionsagainstlosingsightofhowmacro-levelstructuresimpingeonthe

individualagencyofparticipantsininteraction.Theindividualconstructionof

identityshouldbeseenasconstrainedbysociallyandpoliticallydefined

categoriessuchasethnicityandgender(Block,2007).

3.2.4 Communitiesofpracticeandimaginedcommunities

3.2.4.1Communitiesofpractice

Onewayofconnectinglanguagelearnerswithsocialstructuresandsocial

relationsistoviewindividualsasparticipatingin“thepracticesofsocial

communitiesandconstructingidentitiesinrelationtothesecommunities”

(Wenger,1998:4).Wenger-TraynerandWenger-Trayner(2015:1)define

‘communitiesofpractice’as:

…groupsofpeoplewhoshareaconcernorapassionforsomethingtheydoandlearnhowtodoitbetterastheyinteractregularly.

Althoughthisdefinitiondoesnotnecessarilyencompassformal,institutional

settingsoflearning,suchaslanguagelearningclassrooms,thethree“crucial”

characteristicsofacommunityofpractice,assetoutinWenger-Traynerand

Wenger-Trayner(2015:2),caneasilybeapplied,inmyopinion,tocollaborative

universityclassroomsettings:

• “Thedomain”:acommunityofpracticesharesadomainofinterest;• “Thecommunity”:membersofacommunityofpractice“engageinjoint

activitiesanddiscussions,helpeachother,andshareinformation”;• “Thepractice”:membersarepractitionerswho“developashared

repertoireofresources”suchasexperiences,tools,waysofaddressingproblemsetc.

AccordingtoWenger(1998)learningisnotjusttheaccumulationofskillsand

informationbutalso“aprocessofbecoming”(p.215)acertaintypeofperson,so

itiscloselylinkedtoidentity.Throughparticipatingandengagingin

communitiesofpracticewenegotiateouridentitiesanddefinewhoweare.

Identityisalsocharacterizedasa‘learningtrajectory’since“wedefinewhowe

arebywherewehavebeenandwherewearegoing”(p.149).Thereisaclear

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connectionbetweennegotiationofidentitiesandtransitionintonewlearning

communities,asweshallseein3.4.

Newcomersbecomeincludedincommunitiesofpracticeandmaybecomefull

membersthroughaprocessof‘legitimateperipheralparticipation’(Laveand

Wenger,1991):asnovicestheyparticipateandengagewithothermembersand

gain‘competence’and‘experience’,buttheymustalsobegrantedlegitimacyby

thecommunity,asonlythen“canalltheirinevitablestumblingsandviolations

becomeopportunitiesforlearningratherthancausefordismissal,neglect,or

exclusion”(Wenger,1998:101).Participationandnon-participationin

communitiesofpracticecanbothbesourcesofidentity,andexperiencesofnon-

participation,todifferentdegrees,canleadto‘marginality’or‘peripherality’.

However,theimportancegiventolearningofparticipationincommunitiesof

practicehasbeenquestionedbyresearchers.Forexample,Fuller(2007)

contendsthatindividuals’backgroundsanddispositionstolearningarejustas

importantasaretheirchangingsocialrelationshipsinmultiplesettings.

Researchstudiesconcerninglanguageandacademicsocialization(e.g.Duff,

2007),haveemphasizedthelimitationsofthecommunityofpracticeapproachin

explanationsoflearnerambivalenceovertheirinvestmentinbecomingfully-

fledgedmembersofalearningcommunityandoftheeffectsoflearner

commitmentsoutsidethecommunity.

3.2.4.2Imaginedcommunities

Wenger(1998)seesimaginationasanimportantpartofidentitywork:

imaginationnotinthesenseofpersonalfantasiesorwithdrawalfromreality,but

as“aprocessofexpandingourselfbytranscendingourtimeandspaceand

creatingnewimagesoftheworldandourselves”(p176).Anumberofapplied

linguistshavetakenupthisidea(e.g.KannoandNorton,2003;Pavlenkoand

Norton,2007)intheiruseoftheterm‘imaginedcommunities’(firstusedby

Anderson,1991)todescribehowlanguagelearnersfrequentlyadoptimagined

identitiesincommunitiesofspeakersofthelanguagetheyarelearning.Language

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learners’affiliationswithimaginedcommunitieshaveanimpactontheir

investmentandtheirlearningtrajectories(Norton,2013).

Similarly,thepsychologicalconstructof‘possibleselves’(MarkusandNurius,

1986)hasbeenusedtorepresentwhatlanguagelearnersmightbecome,what

theywouldliketobecomeandwhattheyareafraidofbecoming.Psychological

studiesofL2identityhypothesisethatifnear-nativeproficiencyispartofone’s

idealselfthenthiswillactasapowerfulmotivatortolearnthelanguage

(UshiodaandDörnyei,2009).However,Norton(2013)showshowtheconstructs

of‘imaginedcommunity’and‘imaginedidentity’canbetterexplainparticular

socialcontextsoflanguagelearning:inoneexamplethe‘imaginedidentity’of

Norton’sparticipant,Mai,asafutureofficeworkerwithgoodspeakingand

writingskills,counteractedherinvestmentinthespecificlanguagepracticesof

herEnglishclassroom,eventhoughshewasahighlymotivatedlearner,andshe

withdrewfromthecourse.Norton(2013)thusemphasisesthatlearning

practicesshouldconnecttolanguagelearners’imaginedcommunitiesand

identities.

PavlenkoandNorton(2007)giveexamplesoflanguagelearnersincreasinglyre-

imaginingthemselvesassophisticatedmultilinguals.Theyarguethatrecent

researchhasshownthatEnglishmayofferlanguagelearnersanopportunityto

imaginedifferentgenderedidentityoptionsforthemselves,especiallyin

traditional,patriarchalsocieties.McMahill(1997,2001),forexample,showshow

agroupofyoungJapanesewomenin‘feminist’EFLclassesmovedtowardsnew

‘empowered’subjectpositionsintheirclassdiscussionsofpersonalconflictwith

societalandfamilialexpectations.Also,throughparticipatinginEnglishin

discoursesofresistancetopatriarchalpowerstructureswithwomenfrom

aroundtheworldovertheinternet,thesefemalestudentswereabletofindtheir

voicesasmembersofaninternationalcommunityofpractice(Block,2007).

ThenotionofimaginedcommunitiesisalsorelevanttoKinginger’s(2004)four-

yearstudyofayoungAmericanwoman,withaworking-classbackground,

learningFrench.KingingerfocusesonAlice’schangingdispositionstowards

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languagelearninginrelationbothtoherimaginedcommunitiesofFrench

speakersandtohergainingaccesstothesecommunities.WhenstudyingFrench

incollegeintheUSAlicenurturedanidealizedimageofFranceandFrench

peopleashighlyculturedandsociallyjust.Sheimaginedherselfgainingthe

symboliccapitaltoexpandheridentityandbecomeamemberofthisculturally

consciouscommunity.TheaccountsofAlice’sactualexperiencesinFrance

portrayherstrugglestoaccesssocialinteraction;herlanguagelearning

trajectoryinvolvedthecontinualnegotiationofhersocial,linguistic,genderand

classidentitiesinorderto“upgradeheraccesstoculturalcapital,tobecomea

culturedperson”(Kinginger,2004:240)soshemightfulfilherimaginedidentity

asamemberofacommunityofsophisticatedFrenchspeakers.

3.2.5Socialidentity

3.2.5.1Theconstructionofsocialidentity

Inowfocusonspecificsocialcategoriesaswellasonthemultidimensionalityof

socialidentityinordertodiscusshowtheseareseenasimplicatedinthe

discourseandperformanceofemergentsubjectpositionsandongoingidentity

constructions.Peopleconstructparticularsocialidentitiesinboththecontentof

theirtalkandintheirlinguistic,narrativeandinteractionalchoices,thus

indexingtheirpositioningwithrespecttosocialcategoriessuchasgenderand

ethnicity(DeFina,2006).Narrativesareseenascrucialsitesforsocialidentity

constructionbothinthestoryworldofthenarratedeventandinthestorytelling

event(Moita-Lopes,2006).

Ochs(1993:288)definessocialidentityinabroadsensetoinclude“social

statuses,roles,positions,relationships,andinstitutionalandotherrelevant

communityidentitiesonemayattempttoclaimorassigninthecourseofsocial

life”.LePageandTabouret-Keller(1985)arguethatallutterancesare‘actsof

identity’inwhichpeoplereveal“theirsearchforsocialroles”(p.14),inthatthey

adoptthelinguisticbehaviourpatternsofgroupswithwhichtheywishtobe

identified.IntheirinvestigationofCreolecommunitiesintheCaribbeanand

West-IndiancommunitiesinLondon,theyfoundthatparticipantsshowedsocial

andethnicsolidarityordifferenceintheirindividualusesoflanguageinstories

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andconversations,oftenrevealingquitepowerfulethnicandlinguistic

stereotypes.Block(2007:40)emphasisesthemultidimensionalityofthe

approachtoidentityofLePageandTabouret-Keller:

Thismultidimensionalitymeansthatemergingfromallhumanutterances,framedasactsofidentity,istheenactmentofdifferentdimensionsofidentity,suchasethnicity,nationality,genderandsocialclass.

BlockandCorona(2016)extendthisideaofmultidimensionalitytothe

studyoftheintersectionalityinlanguageandidentityinwhichresearch

focusesonhowdifferentdimensionsofidentitysuchasgenderandsocial

classmightinterconnect.

3.2.5.2Genderidentity

BothMcMahill’s(1997,2001)Japanesestudents’voicesofresistanceandAlice’s

accountofherlanguagelearningtrajectory(Kinginger,2004)showhowgender

identitiesareintrinsicallylinkedtootherfacetsofsocialidentitysuchas

ethnicityandsocialclass.DrawingfromWeedon’s(1997[1987])theoryof

feministpost-structuralismandButler’s(2007[1990])performativetheoryof

gender,NortonandPavlenko(2004)describetheirapproachtogender,notas

essentialized,unitaryordetermined,but“asacomplexsystemofsocialrelations

anddiscursivepracticesdifferentiallyconstructedinlocalcontexts”(p.2).They

takeitasgiventhatbeliefsandpracticesconcerninggenderrelationsand

normativemasculinitiesandfemininitiesvaryacrosscultures.Thus,gender

discourses,prevalentinthedynamicsocioculturaldiscourse,influencelanguage

learners’perceivedopportunities,theirdesires,theirinvestmentsandtheir

imaginedcommunities.

NortonandPavlenko(2004)refertoanumberofstudiesinwhichresistanceto

genderpatriarchyisanimportantcomponent.TheyarguethatintheEFLcontext

ofJapan,forexample,studiesshowthatamuchhighernumberofwomenthan

menareinterestedinlearningEnglishandthatEnglishiscommonlyseenby

languagelearnersaslinkedtofeminismandwomen’sopportunitiesinthejob

market.Similarly,theJapanesewomeninMcMahill’s(1997,2001)study,

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discussedabove,statedthattheyfoundEnglishtobeanappropriatelanguagefor

expressingtheiremotionsandcriticalopinionsregardinggenderpractices.

Norton(2013)bringsoutthelinkbetweenlanguagelearningandgenderidentity

inheraccountoftheexperiencesofMai,asayoungVietnameseimmigrantin

Canada.SheexplainsthatMaihadnoproblempractisingherEnglishinthe

workplace,wheresheworkedasaseamstress,untilthecompanybegantolayoff

someofthewomen.Maithenbegantofeelmarginalizedwhenshewastoldthat

shehadbeenkeptonbecauseshewasasinglefemale,notbecauseshewasa

competentworker.AthomeMaiwasalsostrugglingwiththeoppressive

patriarchyofherbrotherwhowantedhertogetmarriedratherthanstudy

English.Shewas‘saved’fromothers’negativepositioningofherathomeandat

workbygettingmarried,thusacquiringthestatusofwife.However,Norton

reportsthatMai’shusbanddoesnotwanthertowork,buthemight‘let’her

study.ThusMai’slanguagelearningandlanguageuseareseenasclosely

intertwinedwithgenderpositioning.AlthoughNortondoesshowclearlyhow

genderwasconstructedandinterwovenwithchangesinMai’sidentityasan

immigrantinCanada,thereislittlesenseinwhichgenderidentityemergesin

interactioninNorton’sstudyandwelearnlittleabouthowherparticipants’

narrativeswereconstructedandperformedatamicro-sociallevel.

Contrastingly,inhisstudyoftheconstructionofrace,genderandsexuality,

Moita-Lopes(2006)focusesontheinteractionaldiscourseofanadolescentboy,

Hans,infocusgroupdiscussionsinaBrazilianschool.Moita-Lopesusesan

interactionalpositioningapproachtoanalyseHans’enactmentofgenderidentity

intermsofmacro-social,hegemoniccategories.Hansemploysquotedspeechin

hisnarratives,whichareco-constructedwiththerestofthefocusgroup,to

positionhisfatherasbothaprotectorofwomeninthefamily(“Gohome!/Thisis

notthetimeforwomen/tobeoutonthestreet”)andasapredatorofother

women(“Lockupyourshe-goats/becausemyhe-goatisfree”).Hansthen

positionshimselfinalignmentwithhisfather’senactment:“Ifweletthewomen

withineasyreach((laughter)),/thehe-goatwillgo/and((makesthesoundofan

animalcatchinganother))//”).Womenthen,inthiscaseHans’sister,are

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positionedandvoicedaspassivevictims.Moita-Lopesalsomakethepointthat

thequotedspeechindicateswhoisentitledtospeak.WhileHans’sisterplaysan

importantroleinthestory,sheisnotgivenavoice;sheisonlyspokenabout.

ThusHansconstructshimselfinalignmentwithhisfatherandincollaboration

withhisfocusgroupasahegemonicmalethroughinteractionalpositioningsin

relationto‘femininity’.Hans’constructionscanbeseenasreflectingmainstream

discoursesconcerninggenderandsexuality.

Initsnarrativeenactmentgenderisthusseenasaperformance,alinguisticand

bodilyenactmentratherthanapre-existingidentity,althoughindividuals‘do’

genderidentitybydrawingonestablishedgender-relateddiscourses(Block,

2007).Theperformanceaspectsof‘doing’culturearebroughtoutinAbu-Lughod’s

(2008[1993])ethnographyofthelivesofBedouinwomen,inwhichsheshows

howindividualBedouinwomenconstructandperformtheirgendertalkinterms

oftheneedsofthestorytellingoccasion.Inhercriticalfeministnarrative,Abu-

Lughod(ibid)alsochallengescommonWesterninterpretationsofgenderrelations

innon-Westernsocieties.Shearguesthat,whileanIslamicreligiousidentity

framesmostofthewomen’sstories,itdidnotdeterminethesituatedenactmentof

theirtellingsofstrugglesandresistance,neitherdiditmakethewomen

submissive.GubriumandHolstein(2009)drawattentiontothemultivocalityof

Abu-Lughod’saccount,tothediversityofperformativerolestakenupbytellers

andtothefrequenthumourinthetellingsrelatedto“theundoingofpatriarchy”

(p.88).

3.2.5.3Ethnolinguisticidentity

Ethnolinguisticaspectsofselfalsocomeunderquestioninginlanguagelearners’

identityperformances(Harklau,2007).Blommaert(2005:214)defines

ethnolinguisticidentityas“anidentityexpressedthroughbelongingtoa

particularlanguagecommunityandarticulatedinstatementssuchas…‘Iam

BritishergoIspeakEnglish”.Whilethismightbeassumedtobearelatively

stableanduncontroversialsociolinguisticterm,Blommaert(2005)draws

attentiontoitscomplexityandhowitmightbeproblematicinitsapplicabilityto

specificlanguageuse.Blommaert(2006)distinguishesbetween‘ascribed’

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identity,whichrelatestheindividualtothelanguagecommunitytowhichthey

belong,andachievedor‘inhabited’identity,whichreferstothearticulationof

theindividual’sengagementwithaparticularspeechcommunity.Theremightbe

tensionandconflictbetweenone’sascribedandinhabitedidentitiesandBlock

(2007)arguesthatmorediscussionisneededofachievedsubjectpositionsin

communitiesofpracticeasopposedtoidentitiespresumedasimportantto

individualsbyoutsiders,suchasresearchers.

Rampton(1990)hadearlierdelineatedlanguageidentitywithhisconstructsof

‘expertise’,‘affiliation’and‘inheritance’,thusdisplacingtermssuchas‘native

speaker’and‘mothertongue’.‘Expertise’referstotheproficiencyofthe

individualinalanguageordialectwhichearnstheacceptabilityofotherusersof

thelanguage;‘affiliation’istheattachmentoridentificationwithalanguage

irrespectiveofone’sproficiencyinit;‘inheritance’isbeingbornintoafamilyor

communitywhichisassociatedwithaparticularlanguageordialect.These

languageidentitiescanshiftduringalifetimesothatsomeonemightbeborninto

alanguagecommunityandpossiblyachieveexpertiseinthatlanguagebutlater

inlifemightdevelopanaffiliationwith(andexpertisein)anotherlanguage

community(Block,2007).

3.2.5.4Religiousidentity

StudiesofMuslimsintheUK(e.g.Modood,2005)andintheUnitedStates(e.g.

Peek,2005)suggestthatreligionisthemostsalientsourceofsocialand

individualidentityamongthoseethnicgroups.Thiswasalsoseentobethecase

amongyoungSaudisinYamani’s(2000)interviewstudy(see2.1).However,the

linksbetweennational,ethnicandreligiousascribedandinhabitedidentitiesare

emphasisedbyBlock(2007)andhearguesthatthereisgrowinginterestamong

identityresearchersin“howcollectiveandnationalidentitiesemergeatthe

crossroadsofreligionandlanguage”(p.44).Baynham(2006)showshow

narratorsdrawonreligiousandlinguisticdiscoursesinordertoconstruct

speakingpositions.Forexample,inordertodissuadehisson,ML,from

emigratingfromhishomecountry,Morocco,toEngland,ML’sfatherpositions

himasapotentialapostatefromIslam:“ML:yougoanyplaceisnoMuslimyeshe

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saidtomeyounoMuslim”(p.385).Thusthedramatisationofhisfather’s

reactiontoML’sdecisiontoemigratehingesontheMuslimand‘noMuslim’

oppositionthathisfatherconstructs.

3.2.5.5Socialclassidentity

Bourdieu(1991)wasconcernedwiththeformationofidentitywithinsocialclass

andaperson’shabitus,whichcanbeseenastheirdispositionstoperceiveand

actintheworldaccordingtopreviousexperiences(Menard-Warwick,2005).

RelatedtohabitusandsocialclassareBourdieu’s(1991)metaphorsofeconomic,

cultural,linguistic,socialandsymboliccapital.Thussocialclasscanbe

understoodasacompositeofwealth,status,connectionstoinstitutionsand

symbolicbehaviour(Block,2007).Linguisticcapitalisalsoanindicatorofsocial

classandlinkscloselywitheconomiccapital,inthatlanguageacquisition

becomesaneconomicactivitywhen“accesstoahighpositionrequirestheability

tospeakorwriteinaprestigiousvariety”(Menard-Warwick,2005:256).

3.2.6Summaryofidentitytheoryandresearch

Ihaveshownhowidentitytheoryandresearchhavelargelymovedawayfroma

psychological,essentialistviewofidentity,basedontheindividualself,tothe

conceptionofidentityasasocialconstructionandonewhichemergesinsocial

interaction.Itwasseenhowconceptsofinvestment,symboliccapital,imagined

communitiesandpositioninghavetendedtosupersedeearlierconceptssuchas

instrumentalmotivationandideal/possibleselves,inordertoviewlanguage

learneridentityassituated,shiftingandinterdependentonotherfacetsof

identitysuchasgender.

Acentralquestionraisedinanystudyofidentitywasseenastheroleofstructure

andagency:theoristsandresearcherstendtofocuseitheronsocialidentityor

individualvoice,althoughmanyalsoseektoinvestigatehowonemightinform

theother.Positioningtheory,particularlynarrativepositioninginapplied

linguisticsandsociolinguistics,bringstogether,tosomedegree,thediscursive

practicesofindividualsastheypositionthemselvesandarepositionedby

dominantdiscourses.Furthermore,intheperformanceofidentity,

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narrators/intervieweescanresistorcreateneworconsistentsubjectpositions

inthestoryworldsoftheirnarrativesaswellasinthestorytellingsituationof

theinterviewconversation.Inadditiontothese“momentaryactsofself-

positioning”(Menard-Warwick,2005:270),itwasshownthatperformanceson

differentoccasionsandindifferentsocialcontextscanalsocreateasenseof

continuousidentityovertime.Inowturntoadiscussionofdevelopmentsin

narrativeresearchinordertoshowhowdevelopmentsinnarrativeinquiryand

narrativeanalysisreflectthesediscursiveandperformativeapproachesto

identity.

3.3Narrativeresearchonidentity

What is the potential of narration and narrative analysis for thebusinessofidentityresearch?...Theanswerhastobedeliveredbyway of empirical analytic research - research that takes intoaccounthowpeoplenavigatetheiridentity…(Bamberg,2010:7)

3.3.1Developmentsinnarrativeresearchonidentity

Therehasbeenaclearshiftinnarrativeresearchfromaconceptualizationof

identityascentredonthepsychological,individualselftomorerecentviewsof

identityasemergentindiscursiveinteraction(DeFinaandGeorgakopoulou,

2012),asisexemplifiedintheabovequotation.Benson(2005)arguesthat(auto)

biographicalnarrativesareparticularlysuitedtoinvestigatingnewlanguage

learneridentities,particularlywhenlanguagelearningexperienceinvolves

psychologicalorgeographicalbordercrossings.Thesenarrativeshavebeen

frequentlyanalysedforcontentorthemesinordertorevealtheconcernsof

languagelearners.Narrativesmostcommonlyusedintraditionalnarrative

inquiryhavebeenthoseofpersonal,pastexperienceusuallyelicitedinresearch

interviews.Inthiswaynarratorsmakesenseofthemselvesintheir

representationalaccountsandcreatemoreorlesscontinuous,coherentselves.

Theseautobiographical‘bigstories’areusuallyelicitedoveraperiodoftimeand

providedatafornarrativeinquiryresearch,whichhascometodominatethe

TESOLfield(Barkhuizen,2011;Vasquez,2011).

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Incontrast,‘smallstory’research“focusesonthecollectionandanalysisof

narrativedatafromordinary,everydayinteractionsratherthanthenarrativesof

anautobiographicalnaturetoldinresponsetointerviewquestions”(Rugen,

2013:199).Analysisisdirectedlessatthecontentofstoriesbutratheronthe

‘how’ofthetellingandonthetalk-in-interaction.Wideningthescopeof

narrativefrom“theprototypicalteller-ledpersonalexperience,pastevents

story”(DeFinaandGeorgakopoulou,2012:108),whichwasrelayedtoa‘silent’

audienceinaninterview,hasledtothestudyofalargenumberof‘small’

narrativeswhichmightoccurinconversationssuchasretold,sharedstories

amongfriends,argumentative,anecdotal,hypotheticalandhabitualnarratives.

Hypotheticalnarrativescanhelptoemphasiseanargumentativepositionand

habitualnarrativescanconsolidateapositionbypresentingeventsasrepeated

overtime.Thusembeddednarrativesareofteninstigatedinordertofurther

pointsmadeinthesurroundingdiscourseandtoamplifypreviousmoralstances

(OchsandCapps,2001).

Studiesincross-culturalnarrativesalsorevealagreatdealofculturalvariationin

narrativegenreandthestructureofstorytelling(Pavlenko,2007).Bell(2011)

pointsoutthattheindividual-experience‘autobiographicalmemory’isaWestern

culturalproductwhichposeschallengestocross-culturalnarrativeresearch.

Storytellingstyles(Tannen,2007[1987]),whichincludetheuseofnarrative

devicesandmodesofnarrativeinteraction,alsovary.Tannenarguesthather

crossculturalresearchshowsthatinvolvementstrategiesareculturallyshaped:

shereportsherGreeknarrativesasexamplesofa‘highinvolvementstyle’with

frequentrepetitionandvoiceanimation.Similarly,Johnstone(1983)examines

culturallyvariablerhetoricalstrategiessuchasthefrequentuseofrepetitionand

parallelismsinArabicpersuasivediscourse,althoughshefocusesprimarilyon

contemporaryArabicprose.DeFinaandGeorgakopoulou(2012)view

storytellingstylesasreflectingcultural‘core’valueswithdramatizationand

activeparticipationinnarrativeindicatingsociabilityandinterdependence.They

goontoclaimthatcultureswhichvaluestorytellingtendtobemorefocusedon

involvementstrategiesandtobemoreoral-based.

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3.3.2Narrativeidentity

Acentralfunctionoftellingastoryistheconstructionofidentity(Riessman,

2008)andnarrativeidentityhasbeenviewedasdevelopingovertime,suchasin

Benson’s(2013)studyof‘second-languageidentity’inparticipantnarratives

concerningastudyabroadprogramme,oras“moment-to-momentidentity

work”whichisinvestigatedin“storiestoldineverydayinteraction”(Rugen,

2013:201).Bamberg(2010),forexample,conteststheideaofnarrativeidentity

researchasaninquiryintothereflectionsofasolitaryindividual,andlocatesthe

selfandidentityinthelocal,interactivenarrativepracticesof‘smallstories’.His

emphasisisonhowidentityisbeingdoneinnarrative,ratherthanonhow

identityisrepresentedandhisfocusisonspeakers’strategicuseofnarrative

practicesastheybringthethere-and-thenofpastexperiencetothehere-and-

nowactofspeaking(Bamberg,2011).AccordingtoBamberg(2011)speakers

makeidentityclaimsthroughnarrativepracticesand‘navigate’theiridentityin

termsof:

A. “Constancyandchangeacrosstime”(p.103).Speakersconstructor

plotchangeorconsistencyusingdiscursivedevices.

B. “Samenessversusdifference”(p.104).Speakersalignorcontrast

themselvesinrelationtoothersreferredtoortointerlocutors.

C. “Agency”(p.106).Speakerspositionthemselvesalongacontinuum

ofhightolowagencythusconstructingtheselfasactororvictim.

Vasquez(2011)arguesthatthis‘smallstory’discursiveapproachtonarrative

identityneedstobetakenupbymoreTESOLresearchersintheanalysisofboth

teacherandlanguagelearneridentities.Wesawin3.2.2.2howappliedlinguist

researcherssuchasBarkhuizen(2010)andRugen(2013)usedconversational

narrativestoanalysetheidentitypositionstakenupbysecond-languagelearners

andlearnerteachers.However,bothraisedissuesconcerningtherelationship

betweenthesetransitorynarrativepositionsandthecontinuityofidentity

constructionacrosstime.

Inasimilarvein,Watson(2007,2012),investigatingteacherprofessional

identityinaUKsetting,raisesquestionsaboutthesignificanceofidentities

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whichemergein‘instantaneous’narrativepositionings.Shearguesthat

prolongedinteractionisnecessarytojudgethesalienceofidentitiesand

consequentlyanalysestheconversationalnarrativesofstudentteachersbothas

performancesofidentityandasinformedbyaseriesofinterviewsconducted

overthecourseofayear.Thecontextualisationofnarrativeisimportant,Watson

(2007)claims,inordertoshowhowthestudents’professionalidentitieshave

developedovertheresearchproject.However,thequestionofthe

incommensurabilityofthemeaningsinrelationtoidentityofbigandsmall

stories,ofthe“temporaryspread”versusthe“hereandnowperformanceof

identity”isthesubjectofongoingdebate(Watson,2007:384).

Whileacceptingthatpreviousnarrativetellingsgivecontinuitytonarrative

accountsandactasresourcesforsubsequenttellings,TaylorandLittleton

(2006)emphasisethattheycanalsoactasconstraintstonewconstructionsof

narrativeidentity.ForBaynham(2015)actsofidentityaccumulateovertime

andthissedimentationofidentitypositionsis‘broughtalong’tothesocial

encounterandshapestheidentitypositions(the‘broughtabout’)whichare

availabletotellersindiscursiveevents.‘Broughtabout’identitiesare

interactivelyachievedastellerstalkupidentitypositionsandastheycontestand

remake‘broughtalong’identitiesinthemomentofspeaking.

Schiffrin(1996)showshowtellersconstructdifferentaspectsofthemselves

throughtheform,thecontentandtheperformanceofanarrative.Thisnotionof

identityperformance,thatparticipantsaredoingtheiridentitiesbytellingand

performingstories,hasbeentakenupbynarrativeresearchersinconductingand

analysinginterviewsasinteractionalevents(e.g.DeFinaandPerrino,2011;

Koven,2012).The‘smallstory’approachhasbeenappliednotonlytoeveryday

conversationsbutalsotoresearchinterviews;indeed,Koven(2011)arguesthat

interviewstoriescanbejustas‘involved’(Tannen,2007[1987])and

interlocutoryasconversationalstoriestoldin‘naturallyoccurring’situations.

Baynham(2006),forexample,usedtheconceptsofperformanceandspeaking

positiontoanalysetheinterviewnarrativesofmigrationandsettlementof

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MoroccaneconomicimmigrantsinLondon.Heshowshowtheconstructionof

theirnarrativesinvolvedshiftsinpresentationofself,familyandcommunityand

shiftsinnarrativepositionstakenupininteractionwiththe

interviewer/researcher.AccordingtoBaynham,performancefeatures,

particularlyconstructeddialogue,animatespeakingpositionsinnarrativesand

helptobringoutthenarrator’sposition.Thesespeakingpositionsalso“involve

therelationalconstructionofidentitiesbyoppositionorcontrastwithothers”

(ibid:396).Baynhamconsidershimselfasinterlocutorpositionedbyhis

interviewee:forexample,hearguesthatwhenhisparticipantMBpresented

himselfaseducatedin‘theschooloflife’hewasalsopositioninghiswhite,

Anglophone,professionalinterviewerasaproductofconventionalschooling.

Inmakingsenseoftheconstructionofidentityinnarratives,Baynham(2006)

emphasisestheimportanceofusingcontextualinformationtakenfromprevious

interviewsandconversations.Theinterpretationofamomentofdiscourseor

performancecanbeenhancedbytheaccumulationofmeaningacrossnarratives.

Forexample,MM’snarrativeabouthisstrugglesandachievementinpassinghis

drivingtestinEnglandlendsweighttohisparticular,laternarrativetellingof

drivinghisfamilybacktoMoroccoinwhichhecontrastscardriverswithmule

anddonkeyriders.Baynham(2006)alsofocusesattentionontheimportanceof

widercontextualissuessuchasthesocio-politicalcontextofthetimes:theseare

themacro-socialprocesseswhichheseesasplayedoutinspecificmicro-

interactions.Similarly,Georgakopoulou(2006)arguesforapairingofrolestaken

upin‘small’narrativetellingswithlargersocialidentities.Thusextra-situational

roles,or‘portableidentities’(Zimmerman,1998)suchasgender,canbetraced

throughfocusingonthedetailsandtheperformanceof‘small’stories.

Inthissection,IdiscusseddifferentapproachestonarrativeresearchandI

particularlyfocusedonthediscursiveconstructionofnarrativeidentity.Inow

movethediscussiontowardsresearchwhichdealswiththeexperienceofthe

learnerandtheirnarrativesoftransition,astheymoveintohigherinstitutionsof

learning,inordertoexaminechangingidentityconstructionsintheiraccountsof

transitioning.IfirstreviewselectedUK-based,international,transnationaland

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localArabianGulfstudiesoftertiarystudenttransitionstoEnglish-medium

universitiesandthengoontodiscussdifferentresearchperspectivessuchas

transitionasastageina‘learningcareer’,asengagementandparticipationin

newsocial,academicandlinguisticlearningcommunitiesandasanegotiationof

identitycongruence.

3.4Learningtransitionstotertiaryeducation

Transitionasachangeprocessrelatestohowstudentsnavigate institutionalpathwaysand,specifically,howthesemovements affectshiftsinidentityandagency. (Scott,Hughes,Evans,Burke,WalterandWatson,2013)

3.4.1Theconceptoftransition

Transitionstoinstitutionsofhigherlearningdenotethemovementacross

learningspacestonewidentitypositions,asthequotationaboveindicates.The

changeprocessisnotalinearoneandcanbemarkedby‘explicitmoments’of

emotionaldisruptionduetoidentitynegotiationandrenegotiationinthe

struggletoworkwithininstitutionalarrangementsandnorms(Scottetal,2013).

Viewingthetransitionintermsofastudent’s‘learningcareer’(Bloomingand

Hodgkinson,2000)alsobringspastlearneridentities,andtherelationship

betweenlearneridentityandotheraspectsofthelearner’spastandpresentlife,

totheprocess(Scottetal,2013).Learnertransitionisseenasaprocessof

enteringandparticipatinginnewlearningcommunitiesornewcommunitiesof

practice(Wenger,1998),inordertojoinandworkwithnewlearninggroups,for

example.Thetransitiontouniversityalsoinvolvesthelearningofnewacademic

pedagogies,literaciesandculturalpractices,thereforeitalsodenotesthe

movementintoanewdiscoursecommunity.

3.4.2Studentperspectivesonlearningtransitions

Whileresearchonstudenttransitionstoinstitutionsofhigherlearninghave

tendedtobelarge-scale,surveystudieswiththepurposeofresearchingcausesof

studentpersistenceandwithdrawalfromcollegesanduniversities,anumberof

studiese.g.Peel(2000)inAustraliaandYorkeandLongden(2008)intheUK

havealsoinvestigatedstudentperceptionsoftheirfirstyearundergraduate

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experiencethroughfocusgroups,interviewsorstudentfree-textresponses.Peel

(2000)contendsthathisresearchintostudentperspectivespointstothequality

ofrelationshipswithuniversityteachersasapotentiallyimportantfactorin

successfulandunsuccessfultransition.Healsoemphasisestheimportanceof

studentinteractionandpeernetworksandofforginglinksbetweenacademic

andsocialorientationinordertonavigatewhathecallsthe“collaborative

comprehensionandmanagementofthefirst-yearexperience”(p.6).

Inaninternationalcontext,Woodrow(2013)foundthatthemotivationofher

cohortofinternationalstudentsmovingfromafoundationprogrammetofirst-

yearundergraduatestudyinAustraliadippedovertheresearchspan,leadingher

toemphasisetheneedforincreasedstudentsupport.Woodrowinvestigatedthe

academicandlinguisticextrinsicandintrinsicgoalsofinternationalstudents

usingquestionnaires,followedbysemi-structuredinterviewswhichprovidedin-

depthinsightsinrelationtoparticipants’experiences,problems,feelingsand

aspirationsduringtheirstudies.Manyattributedtheirlossofoptimismand

motivationaftertransitiontouniversitytotheirunfamiliaritywithuniversity

expectations.However,theyalsoreportedthattheywerestrugglingtoadaptto

theimpersonalacademicsetting,thattheyfounditdifficulttounderstand

lecturesandthattheyhadmadefewfriends.Bytheendoftheyearsome

studentsreportedlapsingintoastateofprocrastinationduetothedifficultyof

academicwork.

InYorkeandLongden’s(2008)large-scale,longitudinalstudyofthefirst-year

undergraduateexperienceintheUK,questionnaireresultsshowedthatstudents

weregenerallypositiveabouttheirfirstyearexperiencebutfree-textresponses

emphasisedtheimportanceofthesocialsideofhighereducation,particularly

fromtheaspectofmakingnewfriends.AsinPeel’s(2000)Australianstudy,poor

teachingqualityandlackofinteractionwithacademicstafforfellowstudents

weremajorissuesandthiscouldbeclearlyseeninthefree-textresponsesgiven

bynon-returningstudents.YorkeandLongden(2008),however,tendtoview

academicandsocialdemandsasseparateconcerns.Forexample,social

integrationisseenasaseparateproblemwhichrelatestonon-academicmixing

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withotherstudentsratherthantopeer-supportedlearningandpeerinteraction

intheacademicsetting.Indeed,Scottetal(2013)contendthatthemainfocusin

recentstudiesonstudentexperiencesoftransitionhasbeentherelative

importanceofeithersocialoracademicintegration,ratherthanontheir

interdependence.ThePeel(2000)andtheWoodrow(2013)studies,however,

suggestthatstudentreportsmakelinksbetweenthesocialandacademic

challengesofthetransitionexperience.

3.4.3Affectivechallengesoftransition

AmoreintegratedapproachwasadoptedbyBeard,CleggandSmith(2007)who

arguethataricherconceptionofstudentsasemotionalselvesisneededinorder

toinvestigateengagementsintheirlearningatuniversity.Emotionssuchas

shameandpride,forexample,canberelatedtosuccessandfailureand“playa

keyroleintheestablishmentandmaintenanceofidentity”(p.238).Inthe

researchers’study,first-yearuniversitystudentsintheUKwereinvitedtowrite

down,oneithersideofablanksheet,theirpositiveandnegativefeelings

regardingtheiruniversityexperiences.Theresearchersfoundthatstudents

noteddowneitherpositiveornegativereferencestotheideaofmakingsocial

relationshipsandsomewereoverwhelmedbytheworkloadandfearoffailure.

Laterintheyearmakingnewfriendsontheircoursesandinsocialsettingswas

stillimportantandtheyreportedmakingacademicrelationshipswithtutorsand

lecturers.Morespecifically,somewerehappytogetinvolvedwithgroupsof

studentsinordertoworkonpresentationstogetherandsocialise.Others,

however,reportedhavingnothingincommonwiththeirfellow-studentsand

resentednothavingenoughinteractionwithteachers.Therewereseveral

negativecommentsabouttheindependentapproachtostudyingaswellas

havingtoworkingroupsandsomeevenexpressedtheirapathyinrelationto

coursesandtheirwishtogiveupuniversitystudies.Basedontheirdata,Beardet

al(2007)contendthatstudentsexperienceanintenseemotionaljourneyintheir

firstyearwhichaffectsallaspectsoftheirlives.Transitionalchallengesarethus

seenascriticalemotionally,sociallyandcognitively.

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InowturntostudiesoftransitionofArablearnerstoEnglish-medium,tertiary

institutionsintheArabianGulfinordertoexaminestudentperspectiveswithin

thisparticularsocioculturalcontext.

3.4.4TransitionstoEnglish-mediuminstitutionsinArabianGulfcontexts

VandenHoven(2014)drawsattentiontotheprominentroleofEnglish-medium

instruction(EMI)intheArabianGulfbutalsotothelackofresearchonthe

implementationofEMIpracticesindifferentregionsandwithininstitutions.As

shownin2.3,learningmoreEnglishhasbeenseenasathreattoArabicand

Islam,althoughArabstudent-participantsinrecentresearch(e.g.Al-Jarf,2008;

vandenHoven,2014)havetendedtochooseEnglishasamoreappropriateand

functionallanguageforacademicandprofessionaluses.However,researchersof

ArabstudentsatEnglish-mediumtertiarylevelcolleges(e.g.Malcolm,2013)

emphasisethatthelevelofEnglishrequiredforacademicstudyisfarbeyondthat

ofstateschoolgraduates.

InspiteoftheexpandinguseofEMI,fewstudiesofstudenttransitionsto

English-mediuminstitutionsinMiddleEasterncountriesfocusonEL2identityas

such.AnotableexceptionisElyas’2011studyoffirst-yearuniversitystudent

identityinSaudiArabia(see2.5.2).However,somerecentcrossculturalresearch

(e.g.Hatherley-Greene,2012;Malcolm,2013;Holden,2015)hasexamined

studentperspectivesandmotivationinthecontextofEMIsinBahrainandthe

UnitedArabEmirates(UAE),contextswhichhavemuchincommonwithSaudi

Arabia.Hatherley-Greene(2012)constructsthetransitionofEmiratimale

studentsfromtheirhighschooltoafoundationyearatanEnglish-medium

collegeofeducationasaculturalbordercrossinginthatstudentsarecompelled

tomovefromanArabiclifeworldtoapredominantlyWesterncultureincollege,

inwhichmostfacultyareEL1speakers.Hesetsthiscrossinginthecomplex

contextoftheUAE’srapidtransitionfromatraditionalsocietytoaglobalized,

moderneconomywithanunknownfuture.Malestateschoolgraduatesshowed

theywerenotpreparedforcollege-levelstudies,leadingtocultural,academic

andlinguisticshockinthefirsttwomonths,andtherewasa66%attritionrateat

theendofthefirstyear(femalestudents,whowerenotpartoftheproject,were

73

reportedasfaringbetter).Althoughparentsshowedlittleinterestintheirsons’

studies,Hatherley-Greene(2012)claimedtouncoveradeeploveoffamily,

communityandnationamongstudents,implyingthattheirsocialidentitieswere

notactivatedbytheirEMIlearningcontextandheemphasisestheneedfor

increasedsocialintegrationtofacilitatethetransitionofstudentsstrugglingto

copewithacademiclearninginasecondlanguage.

Contrastingly,Holden’s(2015)foundinherstudyofsuccessandfailureamong

transnationalstudentsinafoundationyearofanmixedIrishmedicalschoolin

Bahrain,thatsocialintegrationdidnotposeachallengetostudentsbecauseof

theinstitution’spromotionofastrong‘cultureofbelonging’.Sheattributesthis

touniversitystaffeffortstobuildacademiccommunityawarenessaswellasto

thecommonIslamic,Arabicbackgroundofamajorityofthestudents.Peerstudy

groupswereseentoactasbridgesbetweensocialandacademicintegration,

althoughHoldenfoundthatstudentstendedtocreatestudygroupswithstudents

ofasimilaracademiclevel.Whilesocialintegrationwasreportedas

unproblematic,academicintegrationwasfullofchallengesandHoldenexamines

factorscontributingtofailurerates,suchaspreviouseducationandEnglish

languageexperienceaswellastransitionalchallenges.However,asenseof

belongingtoacaringlearningcommunityandthefeelingofbeingavalued

memberofthatcommunitywereall-importantfactorscontributingtoacademic

integration.

InherinterviewstudyofmotivationamongmaleSaudistudentsatanEnglish-

mediummedicalcollegeinBahrain,Malcolm(2013)focusesonthedemotivating

affectiveissuesoftransitionparticularlyinstudentreportsofsavingfaceand

fallingself-esteem,astheyhavetointeractinclasswithinternationalschool

graduateswhoaremoreproficientinEnglishandtoadjusttheirself-imagesfrom

successfultostrugglingstudents.However,inanearlierarticle,Malcolm(2011)

contendsthat,inthissetting,failingstudentsarenotunmotivatedandactually

mustertheimpetustobecomemoreindependentEnglishlearners.Asstudents

learningtobecomedoctors,theyarespurredonbytheself-motivatingvoiceof

theiridealselvesandtheyalsofeelboundtosatisfyparentalexpectations.Thus

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theresearchreviewedsuggeststhattransitionstoEMIinstitutionsintheArabian

Gulfareburdensomeandcancauseemotionalupheavalandfallingself-esteem

onthepartofthetransitioningstudents.However,asBeardetal(2007)foundin

theirUKstudy,studentsfrequentlyprioritisedsocialrelationshipswithpeers

andteachersinanefforttoengagewiththeirlearning.

3.4.5Transitionsina‘learningcareer’

BloomerandHodkinson(2000)developedtheconceptof‘learningcareer’in

ordertoinvestigatethechangesinthelearningdispositionsofstudentsin

transitionoverathree-yearperiodintheUK.Dispositionsareunderstoodin

termsofthelearner’schangingidentityconstructionsandtransformationsover

time.Fromstudents’pastandpresentlearningexperiencesandcontextselicited

ininterviews,theauthorsconcludethatmostoftheyoungpeople’sstoriescould

notbeunderstoodwithoutrelatingthemtoexperiencesoutsidecollegelife;also,

thatlearningcareersshouldbeseenascomplexinterrelationshipsbetweenthe

constantandshiftingidentities,economic,socialandculturalfactors,andthe

changingperceptionsanddispositionsoftheindividuallearner.Animportant,

additionalpointtheauthorsmakeisthattransformationsinlearningcareers

ofteninvolvedcriticalturningpoints,which“promptedlearnerstoappraise

themselvesandtheirlife-worldsinwaystheyhadnotdonebefore”(p.595).

Scottetal(2013)alsofindtheconceptofalearningcareerusefulinorderto

capturesomeofthecomplexityoflearners’experiencesoftransitionto

institutionsofhigherlearningforthreemainreasons:

• Academicactivitycanbefirmlylocatedinalearner’ssocialcontext.• Transitioncanbeseenasanindividualandacollectiveactivity.• Identitytransformation,ratherthancategorization,isakeyfeature.

Academicandsocialintegrationarenotseenasdistinctiveactivitiesinalearning

careerasbotharetheproductofanidentitytrajectoryandshapethatidentity.

Whiletheresearchersfocusedonthetransitionofpostgraduatestudentsat

master’slevelinvariousUKinstitutions,theycontendthattransitionsatthis

levelhavecommonalitieswithotherlevelssuchasundergraduatetransitions.

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Whiledifferentstagesoftransitionmaybeidentifiedwiththeirownintellectual,

socialandemotionalchallenges,transitionsinalearningcareertendtobefluid

andvariable.Alongitudinalperspectiveisnecessarytoincorporatebothpast

andpresentexperiencesasthestudentbringspreviousidentitiesand

dispositionstothetransitionalprocessofappropriatingnewinstitutionalrules

andarrangements.

Scottetal(2013)foundwidedifferencesinpostgraduatestudents’accountsof

transitiontotheirmaster’slevelcourse.Manyexperiencedpeaksandtroughsat

thestartandnotallwereabletoreachanequilibrium.Thosewithalready

establishedacademicidentitieswereusuallyabletoparticipatemorefully,even

afterashakystart,whilesomeyoungerstudents,withlessestablishedacademic

identities,remainedonthefringesofthepostgraduatelearningcommunity.

Accordingtotheauthors,theirinvestigationclearlyshowshowthedifferent

learningcareersoftheseindividualsresultindifferentexperiencesoftransition.

3.4.6Languagelearningcareers

TheconceptoflearningcareerineducationhasbeenextendedbyBenson(2011)

inthefieldofTESOLtoinvestigatethelanguagelearningcareersofL2learnersin

theirnarrativeaccounts.Hedefineslanguagelearningcareerasboth:

• aperson’scoursethroughlifewhichisconcernedwithlanguagelearning;

• aprocessinwhichthepersondevelopsanidentityrelatedtothesocialcategoryoflanguagelearner.

Benson(2011)describeshisinterviewstudyoffirst-yearHongKonguniversity

studentswhonarratedtheirexperiencesoflearningEnglishfromtheearly

stagestouniversityentranceinonelonginterview.Theresearchersummarized

theinterviewtranscriptsinshortlanguagelearninghistorieswhichwereseenas

languagelearningcareersandsubdividedintophases,processes,incidentsand

criticalincidents.Thenarrationofaparticularincidentconcerninglanguage

learningcouldthusbecontextualizedinthelargernarrativetogiveasenseofthe

learner’sconceptualizationofeventsandprocesses.Assuch,Benson(2011)uses

theconceptoflanguagelearningcareerasapsychologicalconstructto

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investigatethecurrentself-conceptoflanguagelearnersandtheirevolving

identitiesaslanguagelearners.Littleconsiderationwasgiventothesocial

interactionoftheinterview,ofdifferentoralnarrativestylesandofthe‘life

reality’(Pavlenko,2007)ofinterviewees.Longitudinalresearch,whichlinks

learningcareerstolifeexperiencesandtowidersocialidentities,suchasthe

BloomerandHodgkinson(2000)study,canperhapstraceidentitychangesmore

effectivelythroughinterviewnarrativesofeducationaltransitionsintheirlocal

andsocialcontext.

3.4.7Takingonastudentidentity

Alearningtransitionisbetterseenasenteringintoandparticipatinginanew

learningcommunity(e.g.Hughes,2010,Scottetal,2013),whichrequiresre-

negotiationwiththeself,withfamilyandfriendsandwithtutorsandotherstaff.

Scottetal(2013)arguethatWenger’s(1998)term‘communityofpractice’might

notbeaptintheirstudyofstudentsembarkingonamaster’slevelprogramme,

asthepostgraduatecommunitycouldnotbesaidtohaveacommonenterprise

orgoal;however,inthesenseofengagement,belongingandnegotiationof

practicesandrulesbythenovicestudent,thetermisrelevantandappropriate

(Scottetal,2013).

AccordingtoScottetal,alearningtransitioninvolvesaquantitative(an

accumulationoflearning)andaqualitative(reflexiveknowledge,skillor

disposition)change.Theofficialformofthistransitionalprocess,createdby

institutionalrulesandformalarrangements,maybeatoddswiththeindividual

student’svieworunderstandingofthetransitionandthispressureonthe

studenttoconformtotheformalversionofthetransitionisalikelytobea

sourceoftension:

The student is placed within these arrangements (which arenot staticbut changing) andhas to findaway through them.Andwithintheappropriationoftheserulesandmanyothersisanotionofidentityasastudent. (Scottetal,2013:8)

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3.4.8Negotiatingidentitycongruence

AnumberofresearchershaveexpandedonWenger’s(1998)ideathat

participatinginanewlearningcommunityinvolvesidentitytransformation.For

example,Hughes(2010)makesthepointthatindividualsmustreconciletheir

learninggroupidentitieswithwidersocialidentitiesfromothercommunity

membershipsrelatingtogender,ethnicity,socio-economicstatusandmaturity.

Sinceidentityisperformedandthereforeshifting,learnershavetocontinually

negotiateandrenegotiatethis‘identitycongruence’,which“givestheselfa

coherentandemotionallyacceptablesenseofidentityinsitu”(p.7).Inher

qualitativestudyofstudentexperiencesofcollaborativelearninginblended

learningcourses,Hughesshowedhowlearnersnegotiatedidentitycongruence

withpeergroupsinordertobelongandengage.Heranalyticalframework

distinguishedbetweensocial,operationalandknowledge-relatedidentity

congruence.

Hughes(2010)contendsthat,contrarytothee-learningliterature,which

focusesontheisolationoflearnersinvirtualcommunication,shefoundthat

socialincongruenceinlearninggroupshadlittleeffectonformallearning.

Operationalcongruence,suchasemployingcommunicationtechnologyina

particularway,didnotguaranteelearners’engagementwithnewknowledge

either.Knowledge-relatedidentitycongruence,however,seemedtobeessential

forsociallearningandengagingwithgroupknowledgeappearedtoprovidea

strongsenseofbelonging.Thoselearnerswhoseidentitypositionsconflicted

with“theideas,conceptsandknowledgesthatareunderconstruction”(p.48)

withinthegroupexpresseddissatisfactionorevenwithdrewfromthecourse.

Hughesarguesthataslearnersdevelopidentitycongruencethroughidentity

shiftsandtransformations,somemaydevelopacademicidentitiesandothers

maybecomelessteacher-centred.However,shecautionsthatthesenew

identitiesmaynotbeeasilyachieved,astheymaychallengegenderandother

socialidentityconstructions.

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3.4.9Negotiatingparticipationinnewdiscoursecommunities

CitingSwales(1990),Flowerdew(2000:129)listssixcriteriafordefininga

discoursecommunity:memberssharecommongoals,participatory

mechanisms,informationexchange,community-specificgenres,ahighly

specializedterminologyandahighlevelofexpertise.Whenstudentstransitionto

universitytheyencounterneworalandwrittenacademicdiscoursedemands

andforL2studentsthiscanbeparticularlychallenging.Studiesontheacademic

andlanguagesocializationofL2learnersinhighschoolanduniversityinCanada

(e.g.KimandDuff,2012;Morita,2004)focusonthechallengesofnegotiating

participationinnewdiscoursecommunities.

Duff(2010:172)definesthetheoreticalpremiseoflanguagesocializationas:

…language is learned through interactions with others who aremore proficient in the language and its cultural practices and whoprovide novices explicit and (or) implicit mentoring or evidenceabout normative, appropriate uses of the language, and of theworldviews,ideologies,valuesandidentitiesofcommunitymembers.

Duffviewsacademicdiscourseasasocial,cognitiveandrhetoricalprocessand

accomplishment,inwhichidentityworkandnegotiationofideologiesarecrucial

aspects.Shearguesthattheemotionaltensionsandstrugglesofnewcomersmay

beparticularlypronouncedininterculturalcontexts.

Drawingfromconceptsoflegitimacyandperipherality(Wenger,1998),Morita

(2004)exploredtheacademicdiscoursesocializationexperiencesofL2learners

ataCanadianuniversity.TheresearcherusedL2learners’self-reports(mostly

written),interviewsandobservationsofclassroomdiscussionsoverthefirst

yearoftheirmaster’sdegreetoinvestigatehowL2learnersnegotiate

competenceandidentityinclassroomoralactivities.Thecontextualanalysisof

theself-reportdatareflectedthestruggleofstudentsto(re)constructtheir

identitieswithintheclassroom.However,MoritaalsofoundthatL2students

couldbecreativeandcriticalintheirdealingswithclassroomchallengesand

constructedawidevarietyofsubjectpositionsinthelocalcontext.Hergroupof

sixJapanesefemalestudentsrespondedtoandparticipatedinclassroom

interactionandlearningindifferentways,whichchallengedstereotypesof

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Asian/Japanesewomenasquietandpassive.Learneragency,ontheotherhand,

wasfoundtobelimitedbyascribedidentitiesimposedbyinstructors.Also,

expertsorpeersdidnotalwaysassistnewcomerstoengageinacademic

practices,showingthatagrantingoflegitimacywasnotforthcomingonall

occasions.Allinall,Morita(2004)broughtoutthecomplexitiesofrelations

betweenL2learners’powernegotiation,identityandsocializationintoacademic

communities,usingtheconstructofcommunitiesofpractice(LaveandWenger,

1991;Wenger1998).

Duff(2010),however,drawsattentiontothelimitationsofthecommunitiesof

practiceapproachtoclassroomdiscoursestudies.Shearguesthatdiscourse

socializationassociatedwithcommunitiesofpracticetendstobenarrowand

apoliticalasitdisregardsstudents’simultaneousengagementswiththeir

individualsocialnetworks.Consequently,awidersocioculturalapproachto

languageandacademicsocializationisneeded.Duff(2007)cautionsthatL2

learnersmaynotbefullyinvestedinbecomingsocializedintotheirnew

academicdiscoursecommunities,duetotheirfuturegoalsandtrajectories,or

becauseoftheircommitmenttoprimarycommunities,orduetotheir

ambivalenceoverbecomingfullmembersofL2-mediatedcommunities.

Asdiscussedintheintroduction,Thesen(1997)hadalsoresearchedthestances

ofstudentstowardsnewacademicliteraciesandpractices,inthiscase,during

theirfirst-yearEnglishforAcademicPurposes(EAP)coursesinaSouthAfrican

universitycontext.Thesenviewstransitionintwoways:itisboththeexperience

ofenteringintonewliteracypracticesandtheimpactontheuniversityofthe

socialchangesofpost-apartheidSouthAfrica.Shefoundadiscrepancybetween

institutionaldiscoursesandidentitiesascribedtoBlackstudents,suchas

‘second-language’and‘disadvantaged’andthewaystudentsdescribed

themselvesastheymadesenseoftheirtransitiontouniversity.

Thesen(1997)usestheconceptsofdiscourseandvoiceaslinguistic

representationsofstructureandagencyinherinvestigationoftherelationship

betweenacademicdiscoursepracticesandindividualstudentperspectives.She

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foundthat,inthebiographicalinterviews,studentslocatedthemselvesin

relationtodiscourses.Forexample,Robertdescribedhowhereactedtohispast

transitionfromafarmtoanurbantownshipschooland,showingawarenessof

thediscoursesofpowerinthelatter,tellshowheliedinordertocoveruphis

origins.Likewise,heexplainshisstrugglewithacademictextintermsofthe

clashbetweenhisownpersonalreligiousdiscoursesandthatofacademic

religiousexplorationswithitsWesternculturalconnotations.Intheseways,

Robertcreatesan‘identityinmovement’,overaperiodoftime,inwhichhe

“seemstobestraddlingdiscoursepracticescreatively,tryingtofindthepointsof

intersectionbetweenseveraldiscourses,oldandnew”(p.497),inorderto

constructnewidentitiesasanAfricanandauniversitystudent.Research

participantsalsoshowedthattheywereoftenalienatedfromthecurriculumand

attimesinvestedmoreintheirsociallivesthanintheiracademicidentities.

Thesen(1997)thusarguesthatherresearchinterviewsconstituteaccountsof

emergentidentityacrossdifferentcontextsinwhichstudentsareagentivein

theirchoicestomergeorresistdiscourses.LikeVitanova’s(2013[2005])Russian

immigrants,Thesen’s(1997)studentsfoundnewwaystoauthorthemselvesby

orchestratingmultiplediscoursesintheirnewlearningcontexts.Shecriticises

thosestudieswhichimposehomogeneouscategoriesonindividuals,insteadof

givingthemtheopportunitytospeakforthemselves.Furthermore,Thesen

showsawarenessoftheinterviewsituationandrelationshipbydiscussinghow

studentsmighthaveadjustedtheirresponsesintalkingtoherasawhite

stranger.Shecomments,forexample,thatthroughhisexplanationsofhis

personalreligiousknowledge,RobertisalsoinstructingheronhisAfrican

religion.

3.5Conclusion

InthischapterIhavebroughttogetherthreebodiesofliterature:theinitial

sectiononidentityinformedthesubsequentnarrativeandtransitionsections

andactedasabaseforthemethodologicalandempiricalworksreviewed.Ifirst

examineddevelopmentsinidentitytheoryandresearch,particularlythosewhich

viewtheEL2learnerasconstructorsoftheiridentityinthesensethattheyare

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seenascreative,strategicspeakers/narratorsbutalsoasindividualspositioned

bysocialstructuresandwiderdiscoursesofsocialidentity.Ithenshowedhow

recentnarrativeresearchhasbeguntocapturethissenseofshifting,

multifacetedandattimesambiguousidentitythroughgreaterattentiontothe

interactionalandfunctionalcontextsofnarrativeperformancewithits

concomitantopeningupforanalysisawiderrangeofgenres,speechstylesand

discoursesthanhasbeenthecaseintraditional,biographicalnarrativeinquiry.

Importanttothenarrativeidentityresearchdiscussedinthisreview,wasthe

issueofthestatusandsignificanceofnarrativepositioningin‘smallstories’and

theneedforcontextualizationandaccumulationofmeaningacrossseveral

tellings.

Transitionstonewlearningcontextsandthesubsequentrenegotiationof

identitiesacrosstimeandspacewerealsoseenascomplexandmultifacetedin

learner/studentaccountsoftheirlearningtrajectories.Theconceptoflearning

careerwasseenasusefulininvestigationsofchangesinlearner/students

constructionsofselfastheyengagedwith(ordisengagedfrom)newlearning

communities.Studiesoftheidentitynegotiationofsecondlanguagestudents

transitioningtoanEnglish-mediumuniversityconstructedtheprocessas

complexandburdensomealthoughsomeresearchersshowedthatstudents

activelysoughttomakesenseoftheirexperiencesandtolocatethemselvesin

institutionalandwidersocialdiscourses,thusachievingnewidentitieswhich

allowedformoresuccessfulstrategiestowardsocialandacademicintegration.

3.6Researchquestions

Thefollowingresearchquestionsguidemyinvestigationofparticipantidentity

bothinthebignarrativeoftheirlearningtrajectoriesandinthesmaller

narrativesofemergentsubjectpositions.Theyreflectmysocialconstructionist

approachandmytakingonboardtheoriesofsocialidentitywhichconnectEL2

learningtoparticipants’self-positioningintheirlearningcontextsandintheir

widersocialworlds.Atthesametimemyquestionsleavemeroomtoinvestigate

identityconstructionatbothmacroandmicrolevels,particularlythewaylarger

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structuresareimplicatedinthepresentationandperformanceofidentitiesin

interviews.

1. Howdoparticipantsatawomen’sEnglish-mediumSaudiuniversity

constructtheirpast,presentandfutureidentitiesasEL2learners,

speakersandstudents?

2. Howdotheyrelatetheseidentitiestowidersocialcategoriesintheir

accounts?

3. Howdoestheirtransitiontoanewlearningcommunityaffect

participants’self-constructionsasEL2learners,speakersandstudents?

Animportantquestionwhichemergedfrommystudyoftheidentityliterature

wasthatofthecontinuityandfluidityofidentity:forexample,arethemeanings

whichemergeininstantaneouspositioningsandperformancesinconversations

commensurablewiththoseofcoherentidentityconstructions?Baynham(2015)

framestheissueasthetensionbetweenlaiddownidentitiesandthose

interactivelybroughtabout(see3.3.2).Thetensionbetweenstructureand

agencyinidentityconstructionalsoemergedfromtheliteratureparticularlyin

theconstructsof‘speakingposition’and‘voice’.Thequestionwhethervoice,as

theenactmentofagency,cancreatenewmeaningsandtowhatextentindividual

languagelearnerscancreativelyconstructtheiridentitypositionsthrough“the

orchestrationofnewdiscourses”(Menard-Warwick,2005:270),isasubjectof

ongoingdebateintheorizingidentity.Thesetwoissuesofcontinuityandagency

inidentityconstructionrelatecloselytomyresearchquestionsandfigure

prominentlyinmyinvestigation.

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CHAPTER4–METHODOLOGY

“LikeFreud,wemaywanttoobjectthatsometimesacigarisjusta

cigarbutofcourseacigarisalwayswhatwedoanddonotmakeofitandofourselves.” Preissle(2006)

4.1TheoreticalandMethodologicalApproaches

4.1.1Background

Aqualitativestudy,incontrastwithaquantitativeinvestigation,isperson-

centredandthusappropriateforastudyofasmallgroupoflanguagelearners:it

seekstoexplorethecomplexitiesofthesocialworldanddependsonthe

researcher’sengagementwiththeworldandwiththeresearchprocessitself

(Richards,2003).Italsostudieshumansubjectsinanaturalsetting.However,

withinqualitativeresearchmethodologythereareawidevarietyofapproaches

andmethodswhichreflectdifferentconceptionsofhumanexperience.Thereis

alsoconsiderableterminologicalfluidityintherepresentationofparadigm

divisions.

Inordertoconsiderdifferenttheoreticalresearchframeworks,Roulston(2010:

205-216)providesusefultablesinwhichsheclearlysetsoutthetheoretical

assumptionsandmethodologicalissuesconnectedtodifferentconceptionsofthe

qualitativeinterviewinsocialresearch.ShelabelsthefirstfourconceptionsNeo-

positivist,Romantic,ConstructionistandPostmodern.TheNeo-positivist

conceptionisprimarilyconcernedwith“establishingthetruthandaccuracyof

reportsprovidedbyparticipants”(p217).TheRomanticconceptionassumesthat

intervieweescandescribe“interiorandexteriorstates”(Roulston,2010:206)

accuratelyandfurther,thattheresearchercanestablishanintimaterapportwith

participantsinordertoaccessconfessionaldetailsandtheir‘innerworld’.

AmajorparadigmshiftoccurswiththeConstructionistconceptionwhichfocuses

onhowtheinterviewerandintervieweemakesenseoftheresearchtopicand

howdataareconstructed,forexampleinnarratives,andco-constructedby

speakers.Thereisnolongeranassumptionthatthe‘authenticselves’of

participantscanbeaccessed.Here,naturallyoccurringdata,suchasrecordings

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ofclassroomtalk,cansupplementinterviewdatainordertoenhance

understandingofhowparticipantsmakesenseoftheresearchtopicratherthan

asaccuracychecksonparticipantreports.ThePostmodernconceptionsees

interviewdataas“situatedperformancesofselves”(Roulston,2010:210),which

canonlyrepresentthepartialaspectsofa‘fragmented’self.Thesefour

paradigmsreflectmyowntheoreticaljourney.

4.1.2Mytheoreticaljourney

Mytheoreticalapproachatthestartofmyresearchprojectcouldbedescribedas

largelyneo-positivistic:Iassumedthattherewasa‘truth’thatcouldbe

uncoveredaboutlearners’beliefsandbehaviourandthatIcouldattemptto

approachthis‘truth’throughtriangulatingmyparticipants’self-reportswith

classroomobservationsandwiththeteacher’s‘point-of-view’asexpressedinher

interviewresponses.Astherelationshipbetweenmyparticipantsandme

developedthroughourinteractionwithinandoutsidetheinterviews,Iwould

describemyapproachas‘Romantic’inthesensethatIbecamemoreawareofmy

ownroleandinfluenceintheinteractionandthat,asourrapportandmutual

trustgrew,myparticipantswereopeninguptomeandrevealingsomeoftheir

‘innermost’thoughts.

Nevertheless,listening,readingandreflectingonmyinterviewdataledmetoan

awarenessofthepresentationalandperformativecharacteristicsofmy

participants’talk.Theyseemedtobeconstructingthemselvesandtheirlearning

andlifeenvironmentsinparticularwaysforparticularpurposes.Forexample,in

ordertoemphasiseoreventopersuademe,theiraudience,oftheirevaluations

aslearners,theywoulddramatizeaparticulareventorexperienceinashort

narrative.Rhetoricaldevices,suchasironicasides,sardoniclaughter,dramatic

exclamationsandrhetoricalquestionswerefrequentlyemployedtoheighten

impactandtogiveweighttotheirargumentsandstories.

Anotherdiscoverywasmyroleintheseconstructionsanddramatizations.Inmy

reactionsandresponses,bothverbalandnon-verbal,Iwasplayingasignificant

roleasamused,enlightenedaudienceandevencontributorto(orcriticof)my

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participants’constructions.Inconsequence,participantswouldeitheradjust

theirtalkandnon-verbalbehaviourtomineorsweepawaymy‘bestlaidplans’in

theinvolvementstrategiesoftheirvariousagendas.Throughmynoted

reflectionsonourinteractions,supportedbymyreadingofsocialconstructionist

literatureinappliedlinguistics,Imovedtowardstheconstructionistparadigm

whichhelpedmeseehowmydatawereconstructedandco-constructedinsocial

interactions.

Thepostmodernistconception,asdescribedbyRoulston(2010:210)also

seemedparticularlyrelevanttomystudyofidentity,asparticipantstookup

different,attimesconflicting,subjectpositionssuchasthoseofsuccessful

languagelearner,strugglingstudent,well-informedsocialcommentatorand

disgruntledordutifulfamilymemberandalsopositionedmeindifferentways

duringthecourseoftheinterviewandacrossinterviews.Theseconstructed

selvesoftenappearedinconsistent,evencontradictory,inthedetailsofthe

views,beliefsandidentitiestheyweredeclaring.ItbecamecleartomethatI

wouldhavetoconsidertheseshiftingsubjectpositionsasamajoraspectofmy

analysis.AsIprogressedonmytheoreticaljourneymyresearchfocuswas

modifiedfromafocusonchangesinparticipantbeliefstotheconstructionof

participantidentitiesassecondlanguagelearnersandspeakers(see1.1).

4.1.3CaseStudy-“acontextualizedhumanprofile”(Duff,2014)

Mysocialconstructionistapproachandmyinterestininvestigatingtheidentity

ofasmallgroupofEL2learnersandspeakersinaparticularsocial,culturaland

educationalcontextinfluencedmydecisiontoconductacasestudy.Acasestudy,

orasetofindividualcases,requiresrichdescriptionsanddetails,focuseson

individualsorgroupsofpeopleandseekstounderstandtheirperceptionsof

events(Cohen,ManionandMorrison,2011).Whileacasestudyhasbeendefined

asaninvestigationofa‘boundedsystem’(Merriam,1988;Creswell,1998),

othersmorerecently(e.g.Yin2014)emphasisetheimportanceofsettingthe

caseinitscontext.Throughusingavarietyofdatacollectionmethods,often

includingdirectobservationandinterviews,thecasestudyresearcherseeksto

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obtainarichlynuancedandmultidimensionalunderstandingofrealpeoplein

realsituations(Cohen,ManionandMorrison,2011).

Casestudyresearchhasplayedanimportantroleinappliedlinguistics,especially

ininvestigationsoflanguagelearninganduse(Duff,2014)andhas“helped

practitionersandstakeholdersbetterunderstandtheexperiencesandissues

affectingpeopleinvarioussocioeducationalandlinguisticsettings”(p.234).

Dörnyei(2007)particularlyemphasisestherichinsightsand‘thickdescription’

(Geertz,1973)of“theunitarycharacterofthesocialbeing”(p.152)thatcanbe

obtainedthroughcasestudies.(p.237).Duff(2014)setsouttheusual

componentsofcurrentqualitativecasestudiesinappliedlinguistics:studiestend

tobesocialconstructionist/constructivistinorientation;participantsandsites

aredescribedindetail;casesarenestedintheirsocioculturalcontexts;thefocus

isonmacro-microinteractionsandonresearcher-researchedintersubjectivity

andparticipants’insider(emic)perspectivesaregenerallysoughtinorderto

reachanunderstandingofthephenomenon.

Duff(2014)goesontoemphasisethepreponderanceofrecentcasestudies

whichforeground“sociocultural,discursive,andpersonal(affective)aspectsof

experienceandlearning”inordertoexamine“thechangingidentitiesand

communitiesoflanguagelearners(multilinguals)incontextsaffectedby

globalization”(p.235).InthesecasestudiesthestatusandlearningofanL2may

beshownasconstrainedbylocalideologiesandeducationalpractices,whereas

inothersettings“multilingualismisenabledwhenthelearnersareencouragedto

drawliberallyandcreativelyontheirlinguisticandothersemioticresources”

(p.235).

Iwouldpositionmycasestudyinthisqualitative,interpretivecategoryinthatI

examinethephenomenonofEL2learneranduseridentityintheparticular

contextofEFLandEnglish-mediumlearningataSaudiuniversity.While

acknowledgingthatthecasesarepresentedfrommyownperspectiveinthe

serviceofmyownpurposesasresearcher,itismyparticipants’voicesand

insightsthatgivelifetomyresearch.Mystudyisalsonestedinwiderideological

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andsocialissuesrelatedtothestatusofEnglishandtothesocialidentitiesofEL2

learners.Myaimwastoproducearich,thickdescriptionofasmallgroupof

learnersinordertogainanin-depthunderstandingoftheirpast,presentand

futurelearningtrajectories.

Duff(2008,2014)suggestsfourtosixcasesasidealfordoctoralresearch,which

canbereportedasagrouporasindividualcases.Ihadplannedtoconsidermy

fourcasestudiesasagroupofindividualsstudyingatthesameinstitution.

However,frommyinitialinterviewdataandfieldnotes,Ifoundthatfourvery

differentperspectives,stylesofpresentationandconstructionsofidentity

emerged:thisledmetothinkingofmyparticipantsasfourdifferentcases.Inmy

studyIfollowthefourcasesfromthebeginningofthesecondsemesteroftheir

preparatoryprogramme(PP)yearthroughtheirtransitiontouniversityandalso

throughthefirstsemesterandthebeginningofthesecondsemesteroftheir

freshmanyear.Datafrominterviewsconductedoveratleastoneyearshowhow

myparticipantsmakesenseoftheirtransitionalexperiencesbyactively

constructingnewpositionsandidentities.

AlongitudinalperspectivewasaninherentpartofmymultiplecasestudysinceI

focusedonmyparticipants’identityformationastheymovedalongtheir

learningtrajectories;ontheirshiftingconstructionsofselfinthecontextsoftheir

learningtransitionsandthetransitionsoftheirsociety;onourdeveloping

researcher-researchedrelationshipandontheaccumulatedmeaningsofour

interactionsacrosstimeandspace.Thisprolongedengagementwithparticipants

overtimehasbeenacommonfeatureofcasestudyresearchinapplied

linguistics(Duff,2014).

4.1.4Anethnographicapproach

Ihavetakenon-boardWolcott’s(2008)cautionaryadviceoverclaimingthe

ethnographiclabel:whilemystudyinherentlyattendstothesociocultural

contextofmycases,itdoesnothavethatextendedandpainstakingcommitment

torevealaculture“throughdiscerningpatternsofsociallysharedbehaviour”

(p.71)whichWolcottdescribesastheunderlyingideaoftraditional,

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anthropologicallyorientedresearch.Whenalooserdefinitionisapplied(e.g.

Dörnyei2007:131),mystudycanbeseenasethnographicinitsfocusonthe

subjectiveinterpretationandmeaningsofmyparticipants;bymyengagement

foranextendedperiodinthenaturalsettingandcultureofmyparticipants;also,

bytheemergentnatureofmyresearchfocus.Theadvantageofmy‘insider’

statuswasthat,unlikemanyethnographers,Ididnotneedtoinvestanextended

timeperiodinfamiliarisingmyselfwitha‘foreign’cultureortodisengagewith

theculturalsettingattheendoftheresearchperiod.Thus,while

ethnographicallyinformed,mystudyisnotatraditionalethnography.

Anotherconsiderationisthepostmodernandpoststructuralistchallengeto

traditionalethnography’sclaimthatitcancapturethelivedexperienceofpeople

(Denzin1997).Ratherthanawayofseeingandknowing,ethnographicpractice

isseentoproduceparticular,situatedunderstandingsof“slicesoftheculturein

action”(p.8)andrepresentstheparticipant’stalkasatextualconstruction.The

literatureonthisnewinterpretiveethnographyresonateswiththe

methodological,interpretive,transcriptiveandanalyticalaspectsofmystudyin

thatIapproachmyinterviewdataassituatedself-presentationsand

performances,alsoasco-constructionsandco-performancesfromwhichemerge

identitiesandsubjectpositions.

Denzin(1997:5)arguesthat“ethnographersdeal…withperformedtexts”and

“themeaningsofsubject’sstatementsare…alwaysinmotion.”Ihavekeptin

mindthatmyresearchreportisalsoaconstructionwhichcannotdirectlyreflect

anotherperson’sexperience.However,toviewdataandfindingsas

constructionsdoesnotnecessarilymeanthattheycannotrepresentsocial

phenomena,aslongasthereflexivityoftheresearcherisasignificantfeatureof

theresearchreport(HammersleyandAtkinson,2007).Animportantpartofthe

researchprocessofmystudywaskeepingdetailedfieldnotesontheresearch

settingandcontext,aswellasnotingreflectionsonmyroleininteractionswith

participantsandontheimpactofourdevelopingrelationship,inajournal.The

ethnographicresearcherisseenasanactiveresearchparticipant,“theresearch

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instrumentparexcellence”(HammersleyandAtkinson,2007:17),whocannot

avoidinfluencingresearchproceedings.

4.1.5Narrativeinquiry

Inhisreviewofnarrativeinquiryinappliedlinguisticsresearch,Benson(2014)

usesthelabel‘narrativeinquiry’asanumbrellatermforavarietyofapproaches

whichfocusonlanguagelearnerandteacherexperiences.Narrativesplaya

significantroleinmystudy,asanobjectofinquiry,asananalyticaltoolandasa

meansofrepresentingresearchfindings.IfindBarkhuizen’s(2011)‘narrative

knowledging’tobeausefulconceptasitbringstogetherthe‘sense-making’and

socialaspectsofnarrativesateachstageoftheresearchprocess.Itis“the

meaningmaking,learning,orknowledgeconstructionthattakesplaceduringthe

narrativeresearchactivitiesof(co)constructingnarratives,analysingnarratives,

reportingthefindings,andreading/watching/listeningtoresearchreports”

(p.395).Narrativeknowledgingisthusanactive,fluidprocesswhich

acknowledgesthediscursiveconstructionofnarrativesandtheongoingprocess

of(re)interpretingthem.

Anarrativeorstorycanrefertoalifehistoryorto“asequencedstoryline”with

“specificcharacters”and“theparticularsofasetting”inoralorwritten

communication(Riessman,2008),or,moreloosely,to“aconstructionof

sequenceorconsequence…encompassingtemporalreferences…andthelogicor

cause-and-effectrelationships”(Taylor,2010).Abroaderdefinitionofnarrative,

associatedwithsmallstories,opensupforanalysis“arangeofverbalutterances

andinteractions”(Watson,2012:461).Asnarrativesaresovariedandubiquitous

inconversationtheyresist“delineationintermsofasetoffixed,generic,defining

features”(p.54).Iusenarrativewiththisbroaddefinitioninordertofocuson

oraldiscourseandsocialpracticeratherthantext-type.Narrativesdonot

necessarilyhavestorylinesorbiographicaldetailsandsequencesofeventswhich

emergeintalkarenotseenaspartoftheextendedlifehistoryofanindividual

“reflectivelytakingstockoflargersegmentsoflife”(Freeman,2011:114),butas

discursiveresourcesusedbyspeakerstosupporttheirongoingidentity

constructions(Taylor,2007).

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Althoughbigstoriesofteacher/learneridentitiesinTESOLhavebeenascribedto

researchinterviewsandsmallstoriestomoreinformal,everydayconversations

(e.g.Vasquez,2011)(see3.3.1)theboundarybetweenbigandsmallstorieshas

becomelessdivisiveinrecentstudiesontheidentityconstructionsofsecond-

languagelearnersandstudentteachers.Asseenin3.2.2.2,somenarrative

researchers(e.g.Barkhuizen,2010)useasmallstory,narrativepositioning

analysisoftheirinterviewdata,butqualifytheirfindingswiththematicanalyses

ofethnographicdata.SinceIfoundthatconversationalnarrativeswere

embeddedintheinterviewsasparticipantsshared,dramatisedandjokedabout

theirexperiencesininteraction,Idecidednottomakeadistinctionbetween

formalorinformalcontextsinmynarrativeanalysis.AsKoven(2011)argues,

interviewnarrativescanbejustasperformedandinterlocutoryas

conversationalstories.

DeFina(2009)alsomakesacaseforacloser,moreinteractionalapproachto

interviewnarrativeanalysis.Contrarytotheviewofnarrativeselicitedin

researchinterviewsasahomogeneousgenre,DeFina(2009)usesthenotionof

‘account’toexamineonetypeofnarrativewhichemergesfrominterview

interactions.Accountsinvolveanexplanatorycomponentsincetheyaretoldin

responsetoaninterviewer’squestionandtheyarealsodesignedforaparticular

interlocutorinaninteractivecontext.DeFina(2009)emphasisesherpointsthat

therelationshipbetweentheinterviewerandintervieweeshapesandreflectsthe

kindofstorieswhicharetoldandthatthenarrativegenre,whetherexplanatory

account,hypotheticalorhabitualnarrative,alsodependsontheexpectationsof

interviewresponsesasnegotiatedbetweeninterviewerandinterviewee.Indeed,

intervieweesmaynotusenarrativesintheirresponsesandthismayposea

problemfornarrativeresearcherswhotendtofocusonparticipants’‘successful’

accountsofexperience(Elliott,2012).Thisanalyticalapproachtoco-

constructionininterviewsisanimportantmethodologicalaspectofmystudy.

4.1.6Summary

InthissectionIhavepresentedthetheoreticalandmethodologicalcontextofmy

qualitativestudyofasmallgroupofEL2learnersasamovementfromaneo-

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positivisttoasocialconstructionistframework.Iexplainedhowmyresearch

projectfitsthecriteriaofalongitudinalcasestudy,particularlyincasestudy

research’smorerecentemphasisonsocialcontext.Drawingfromnew

ethnographyapproaches,Ialsobroughtouthowmystudyfocusesonthe

relationshipbetweenresearcherandresearchedandontheperformativeaspects

ofparticipantnarratives.Ifinallyexplainedtheimportanceofinvestigating

narrativesininterviewsintermsofcontent,ofdiscursiveconstructionandof

ongoing(re)interpretation.

4.2Researchsettingandparticipants

4.2.1 Researchsetting

ThesettingofmyresearchisSharifaUniversity,aprivateEnglish-medium

women’suniversityinSaudiArabia.Thepreparatoryprogramme(PP),which

actsasafoundationyear,ishousedinabuildingwithintheuniversitycampus.It

aimstopreparestudentsfortheuniversitybyofferingintensivecoursesin

EnglishLanguageaswellasintroductorycoursesinstudents’chosenfieldsof

study.Thesecondarypurportedaimsofthepreparatoryprogrammeareto

bridgethegapbetweensecondaryschoolanduniversityandtohelplearners

adapttotheeducationaluniversityenvironment.

ThenewacademicyearafterPPmarksatransitiontoadifferentsocialand

academicenvironment,thatoftheuniversityitself.Intheirfreshmanyear,

participantsstudygeneralsubjectssuchasMaths,Biology,IslamicStudies,

PhysicalEducation,ComputerStudiesandAdvancedCriticalSkills,allthrough

themediumofEnglishandthereisnodedicatedEnglishLanguageclass.As

EnglishandTranslationorEnglishLiteraturemajorsnoneofmyparticipants

takecoursesintheirchosenfieldsofstudyintheirfreshmanyear.Thereisalso

animportantdifferencebetweenthePPclassesandthoseoftheuniversityin

thatthelatteraremadeupofamixtureof1stto4thyearstudents.Itwouldbe

expectedthattheprocessofenteringandparticipatinginthisnewlearning

communitywouldbeanemotional,intellectual,linguisticandsocialchallengefor

myparticipants.

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IchoseSharifaUniversityasmycasestudycontextasopposedtoanotherSaudi

femaletertiaryinstitutionasithadlessofareputationasanAmerican-style

liberalartscollege.ItpromoteditselfasmoreofaSaudiinstitutionwhich

preparedfemalestudentsforfuturecareersinSaudiArabiasoIthoughtitwould

beamore‘authentic’Saudienvironment.Myothermotivewasoneof

convenience:itwouldbedifficultformetogainlong-termaccesstoauniversity,

butatSharifaIhadaclosecontactwhowasaformercolleagueofmineandI

knewshehadgatekeepingauthority.

4.2.2Casestudyparticipants

TheparticipantsarefourArabfemaleEFLstudents,agedbetween18-21years

oldatthebeginningoftheresearchperiod,whohaveallexperiencedformal

EnglishinstructionataSaudipublicorprivateintermediateandhighschool.

TheirpseudonymsareAlexandra(Alex),Nevine,NourandSandra.Likeher

parents,AlexisJordanianbynationality,whileherethnicityisPalestinian,but

sheisasecond-generationimmigrantandhaslivedinSaudiArabiaallherlife.

SheisalsoaSaudistateschoolgraduate.Nevine,NourandSandrahaveSaudi

nationality.BothparentsineachcaseareSaudiandNevine’sgrandmotheris

Egyptian.NourgraduatedfromstateschoolwhileSandraandNevineareprivate

schoolgraduates,whichmeansthattheylearnedEnglishatschoolfromanearly

age.InFebruary2012,whichmarksthebeginningofmyresearchproject,my

participantswereinthesecondsemesterofthepreparatoryprogramme(PP2)at

SharifaUniversity.

4.3Methods

4.3.1Rationale

InowturntothemethodsofdatacollectionwhichIusedtoobtainknowledge

andunderstandingofmycasestudies.Inordertoconductathorough,rich

analysisofthecasesandtoachieveadeep,layereddescriptionfrommultiple

perspectives,Idecidedtouse:

A. Interviewswithparticipantsandtheirteacher

B. Observationsofparticipantsworkingonthreeclassactivities

C. Fieldnotes

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D. Post-activityinterviewswithparticipantsandtheirteacher

E. Notesinmyjournal.

Myaiminusingavarietyofdatacollectionmethodswasnottovalidatemy

findings,inapositivistsense,buttoachieveanunderstandingofthecomplexities

ofthecases,withinthedifferentcontextsofthesemethodsandthedatathey

generated.However,asmyresearchprogressed,thedifferentmethodschanged

intheirdegreeofsignificanceandIhavetriedtocapturethissenseofmovement

inmyaccountofmethodologicalprocessandprocedures.Interviews,for

example,movedtoamorecentralpositioninthemethodologicalframeworkas

myresearchquestionscametofocusonparticipantconstructionsoflearnerand

socialidentityininteractionwithmeasinterviewer.Theothermethodscameto

playmoreofasupportiveroleindatacollection.GELLresponses(see4.5.4),

emailsandtextswerenotpre-plannedmethodsbutdrawnoninthecourseof

datacollectioninordertoenhancefurtheranunderstandingofidentity

construction.

4.3.2Interviews

Theresearchinterviewisthemostcommonlyusedmethodinqualitativeapplied

linguisticsresearch(Dörnyei,2007).Interviews“holdoutthepossibilityof

understandingthelivedworldfromtheperspectiveoftheparticipantsinvolved”

(Richards,2009:187).Idecidedtousethesemi-structuredinterviewinitiallyto

findoutaboutmyparticipants’perspectivesontheirlearningandthemselvesas

EL2learners:Iprovideddirectionandstructurethroughmypre-planned

questionsbutallowedparticipantsspacetodevelopandexploretopicsinorder

notto“limitthedepthandbreadthoftherespondent’sstory”(Dörnyei,2007).I

alsofollowedRichards’(2003)advicetotryandcapturesomeofthenon-verbal,

emotionaldimensionofthetalkbymakingnotesimmediatelyafterthe

interview.Thus,bylisteningcarefullytotherecordingofourtalkandbyallowing

mynotestojogmymemory,Icouldincludesomeofthenon-verbalelementsin

mytranscript.

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AsinterviewerIdecidedtoadoptKvale’s(2007:19-20)metaphorof‘traveller’

ratherthan‘miner’.Thesemetaphorsrepresentdifferentepistemological

conceptionsofinterviewingas“aprocessofknowledgecollectionorasaprocess

ofknowledgeconstruction”(p.19).Iseemyroleasnotuncoveringandcollecting

knowledge‘buried’intheinteriorofmyparticipantsasmuchasjourneyingor

‘walkingalongwith’participants,listeningto“theirownstoriesoftheirlived

world”(p.19)andreflecting,interpretingandanalysingtheminordertobring

them“backtohomeaudiences”(p.20).Thereflection-interpretationprocesshas

ledme,astraveller,tonewunderstandings,evenself-understandingswhichI

haveincorporatedintomyfieldandanalyticnotes.

Talmy(2010)arguesthatgreaterreflexivityininterviewmethodologicalissues

isneededinappliedlinguisticsresearch:theresearchinterviewasinstrument,in

whichtheresearcher‘mines’theattitudes,beliefs,feelings,experiencesof

respondents,hasbeentheusualapproachincasestudy,ethnographicand

narrativeresearchinappliedlinguistics.However,theresearchinterviewas

socialpracticeorasasocialencounterhasbeengivenmuchlessattention

(Talmy,2010;DeFinaandPerrino,2011;TalmyandRichards,2011).Amore

reflexiveconceptionoftheinterviewcontextrejectsinterviewees’speechasa

transparentreportofspeakers’thoughtsandwordswhichaccessesauthentic

identities(Koven,2014;Mann,2016).AsBlock(2000:757)hadearlier

cautioned,thereisaninherent‘danger’intakingresearchparticipants“attheir

word”withoutproblematizingthedata.

HolsteinandGubrium(2003)recommendthatresearcherstakeamore‘active’

viewoftheinterview:thattheyattendtoboththecontentofwhatissaid(the

whats)andto“theinteractionalandnarrativeprocedures”(p.68),which

constitutethemeaning-makingprocessoftheinterview(thehows).Furthermore

severalresearchersinappliedlinguisticsandsociolinguistics(e.g.Johnson,

2006;Mann,2011;Miller,2011)havetakenupthecalltoviewtheresearch

interviewasaninteractionalaccomplishment,ratherthanasaconduitto

respondent‘reality’.Studies(Baynham,2011;DeFina,2011)havealsoshown

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howinterviewerandintervieweerolesandpositioningsinfluencethetypesof

narrativestoldandtheperformanceofnarrativeininterviews.

Asmyinterpretationofinterviewdatacametofocusontheconstructional,

presentationalandinteractiveaspectsoftheinterviews,mymethodological

approachshiftedsomewhat:fromviewingtheinterviewasproduct,whichwould

providemewiththematicinformationaboutmyparticipants’perspectivesand

experiences,Idecidedtoincludethediscursiveandperformativeprocessofthe

interview‘event’aspartofmyanalysis.IconsideredhowImightundertakean

analysiswhichcouldcaptureboththeperformativeandtheinteractiveaspectsof

myinterviewdata.Astheexaminationofthe‘hows’andthe‘whats’ofmy

interviewdatabecamemoreintensive,theinterviewasmethodbegantotake

centrestage:fieldnotes,forexample,wereseenasconstitutinganadditional

layerandasthrowinglightondifferentfacetsofmyinterviewdata.

InmyoriginalresearchplanIhadhopedtoconductinterviewswithmy

participantssoonaftertheobservedclassactivitiesinordertotriangulatetheir

interpretationsoftheirroleintheactivitywiththoseoftheteacherpost-activity

interviewandwithmyownperspectiverecordedinfieldnotes.EventhoughI

conductedtheinterviewsimmediatelyafterclassandplayedbackrecorded

extracts,Ifoundthatmyparticipantswerenotabletogivemedetailedaccounts

oftheirparticipationandlearningintheactivities.Idecidedtomodifymy

purposetooneofunderstandingtheirgeneralperspectivesontheactivityandI

refertotheseinterviewsas‘post-activityinterviews’.

4.3.3Observations

InplacingmyinterviewdatainacentralpositionIdonotmeantodevalueother

methodssuchasobservationalmethodsofdatacollection.Onthecontrary,in

casestudiesinappliedlinguistics,observationmethodscanhelpresearchers

understandthephysical,social,culturalandlinguisticcontextsinwhichlanguage

isusedaswellasprovidelinguisticandinteractionaldata(Duff,2008).Coffey

andAtkinson(1996)contendthatobservationofactivityandbehaviour,unlike

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interviews,cangiveusdirectaccesstohowpeopleactuallyperformactivities

andtonaturallyoccurringinteraction.

Mypurposewastoobserveandrecordthebehaviourandparticipationofmy

fourstudentparticipantsworkingonoralactivitiesintheirListeningand

Speakingclassroomsetting,inordertogainanotherperspectiveonparticipant

interactionandparticipationinlanguagelearning.Ididnothavetheoptionof

videotapingtheactivitiesIobserved,asthiswouldnothavebeenacceptableina

classofSaudifemalestudents.Wolcott(2008:51)describesthe“non-participant

participantobserver”asonewhodoesnotseektohidetheirpresenceas

observerbutwhodoesnottaketheactiveorinteractiveroleoftheparticipant

observer.ThisishowIwoulddescribemypositionduringmyobservationsasI

watched,madenotesandaudiorecordedbuttriednottointerveneinthe

interactionitself.However,Ibecameawarethatmypresenceandmyroleas

audienceina‘socialperformance’andasaforeign‘guest’werehavinganimpact

ontheprocessofobservingandonthebehaviourofobservedparticipants.

Idecidednottouseanobservationschedule,asIwasnotrecordingspecific

classroompractices,buttodrawadiagramofthelayoutoftheclassroom,tonote

downteacherandstudentclassroombehaviourandeventsi.e.“thelargerfields

ofobservation”andthentofocus“toagreaterextentonthecasesinquestion”

(Duff,2008:139),namelythebehaviourorinteractionsinvolvingmy

participantsandtheteacherandbetweentheparticipantsthemselves.

Observationisoftenusedintandemwithotherdatacollectionmethodsin

appliedlinguisticsresearch,particularlyincasestudies,inordertotriangulate

methodsortoprovidecorroboratingevidence(Duff,2008).CoffeyandAtkinson

(1996:14)however,disagreethatdatafromdifferentsourcesordifferentdata

typescanbeaggregatedtoformamoreauthenticor“asinglemorevalid

representationofthesocialworld.”Neithertheinterviewnortheobservational

methodissuperiorbuteachyieldsdifferenttypesofconstructeddata(Atkinson

andCoffey,2003).Thusthefunctionofmyobservationaldataandtheir

relationshiptomyinterviewdatashiftedsomewhat:ratherthanusing

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observationaldatatoverifyortochecktheaccuracyofparticipant/

interviewee’sstatements,Iapproachedthemasdifferentaccountsof‘events’

whichIcouldputtousetocreateacomplex,multi-layeredpictureofmy

participants’performedidentities.

4.3.4Fieldnotes

Fieldnotescanbeseenastypesofconstructedrepresentationsonthepartofthe

researcher.GubriumandHolstein(2009)contendthattheresearcher’sfield

notescannotbetheliteralreproductionof‘fieldrealities’becausethereportwill

alwaysbefilteredthroughtheirpreconceptions,perspectivesandrelationships

inthefield.Imadefieldnotesonmyclassroomobservationsandmyface-to-face

interviews.Ialsowrotedetailednotesonmyconversationswithparticipantsand

onouremailsandtextmessages.Intheinterviewsituation,datawere‘public’in

thesensethattheycouldreachawideaudience,whereasinmanyofour

conversationsrecordedinfieldnotes,thedataweremore‘private’.Neither

representeda‘truer’versionofeventsbutrecordingbothtypesofdataadded

“complexity,richnessanddepth”(Silverman,2011:371).Fieldnotesgrewin

importanceasIexpandedandrevisedmyresearchplan(seeTable4.1).

4.3.5Myresearchjournal

InadditiontofieldnotesofmyobservationsIkeptaresearchjournalfromthe

verybeginningofmyresearchproject.InitIwrotenotesonmyresearch

journey,suchasprovisionalresearchprocedures,mishaps,remindersetc.which

Icoulduselatertoreconstructtheresearchprocess.Duff(2008:142)statesthat

“journalkeepingbecomespartoftheanalysisandinterpretationprocessitself”.

ThroughoutmydatacollectionIalsoconsideredmypositionalityandemotional

responses.Irecordedthesereflectionsinmyresearchjournalandincluded

decisionsonethicalissues,suchaswhatIwouldomitfrommydataintermsof

personalparticipantdata.Myjournalalsofocusedonmyongoingrelationship

andinteraction(ornon-communication)withmyparticipants,onmychanging

impressionsofparticipantsandwhatIconsideredtobetheirviewsofour

researchrelationship.Iextractedseveralofthesereflectionsandincludedthem

inmytyped-upfieldnotesforeachparticipant.

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4.4Trustworthiness

4.4.1Criteria

Thereislittleagreementintheliteratureaboutproducingsoundqualitative

research.Reliabilityandvalidityarepositivistcriteria,whicharenotgenerally

consideredappropriateforinterpretative,qualitativeresearch.Regarding

qualitativecasestudyresearchineducation,Merriam(1988:171)contends:

Becausewhat is being studied in education is assumed to be influx, multifaceted, and highly contextual…and because theemergent design of a qualitative case study precludes a prioricontrols, achievingreliability in the traditional sense isnotonlyfancifulbutimpossible.

LincolnandGuba(1985)proposedasetofnaturalisticcriteriafor

trustworthinessinqualitativeresearch:credibility,whichRichards(2003)

describesasdependingonlong-termexposuretocontextandadequacyofdata,

leadingtoacarefuldocumentationofprocedure;transferability,whichdepends

ontherichnessofdescriptionandtherelevancetoresearchersinother

situations;dependabilityandconfirmability,whichrelatetothedocumentation

ofresearchdesignandproceduressothattheresearcher’sdecisionsareclearto

thereader.Thesecriteriahavebeendevelopedbyqualitativeresearchersand

seemparticularlyapplicabletocasestudies.Ifoundthemusefulasgeneral

guidelines,althoughtheydonotrefertoreflexivityasanimportantcriterion,

whichwasimportantinmystudy.

Assessingthevalidityofastudyisalsoproblematicwhenitistheconstructions

andunderstandingsofparticipantsthatarebeinginvestigatedratherthanthe

‘reality’oftheirsituation.Triangulationofdataandmethods,memberchecking

andlong-termobservationhavebeenputforwardasinternalvaliditychecks,as

wellastheclarificationofresearcherbiasbutthesearedisputedbyresearchers,

particularlythosewithaconstructionistorpost-modernperspective.Thisis

mainlybecausetheyignore“thecontext-boundandskilfulcharacterofsocial

interaction”(Silverman,2011:371).Whentheinterviewisviewedasan

interactionalevent,theroleofresearcherbecomesaresourcefortheanalyst

ratherthanasourceofbias(DeFina,2011).

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Thecriterionofgeneralisabilityorexternalvalidityisespeciallycrucialand

controversialincasestudyresearch(Duff,2008).Whilethefocusis

“particularizationnotgeneralization”(Stake,1995:8),someresearchersagree

withLincolnandGubathattransferabilityisausefulsubstitutefor

generalizability;othersplacesignificanceonthetypicalityorrepresentativeness

ofthecase.Theformerviewplacesresponsibilityonthereadertoengagewith

thesituationdescribedandtheinterpretationsofferedandtomakeconnections

withtheirownstudycontext;thelatterseescasesasinstancesofabroadersetof

features(Richards,2003).Myapproachhasbeentofocusontheparticular,

subjectivemeaningsofparticipantsinmyrepresentationsothatwithrich

descriptionandarticulationIcandrawinreaderswhomightthenrespondin

termsoftheirownexperience.

4.4.2Myclaims

Inprovidingrichdataonmyparticularizedcases,myparticipants’narrativesof

experienceandmyinterpretationsofthemshouldleadtogreaterunderstanding

ofthecontextsandlivesofEL2learnersandusersinanunfamiliarsetting.Thus

readersmightbroadentheirhorizonsbycriticalself-reflectionandgreater

empathywiththoseexperiencingandpresentingadifferentworldfromtheirs.

However,Idonotsetouttoproposenewtheoriesinthefieldofforeign/second

languageidentity:Iremaincautiousaboutmyfindings.Thiscautionarisesfrom

myconcernsabouthowtherich,holistic,context-dependentdescriptionofacase

studymightbeaffectedbytheanalysisofperformativityanditseffects.Thepost-

modernchallengetoourunderstandingisthatitcanonlyeverbepartialand

fragmentary.

Thevalidityofmyanalysisandinterpretationofmydatarestsonmytheoretical

perspectiveandposition:mysocialconstructivistperspective,forexample,does

notseethecorrespondencebetweenparticipants’accountsandotherevidence

asprovidingaccesstoadeepertruth,sincethoseaccountsarenotreportsof

‘facts’butversionswhichareconstructedinordertopresenteventsand

experiencestoaparticularaudience.Whatisimportantismyinterpretationof

participants’meaningsandunderstandingswithinoursituatedinteraction.This

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interpretationisnecessarilysubjective,andIacceptthattherecanbealternative

interpretationsofmydata,howeverIhaveaimedataprincipledsubjectivity.

Whileacceptingthat,inqualitativeresearch,“subjectivityisanessentialelement

ofunderstanding”(Stake,1995:45),Iundertaketobeasreflectiveandopenas

possibleaboutmysubjectivitiesandengagementwithparticipantsandaboutthe

researchprocessitself.

4.4.3Ethicalissues

Formalethicalapprovalpriortomyresearchprojectwasdulyobtainedfromthe

EthicsCommitteeoftheInstituteofEducation:heretheemphasiswason

protectingtheprivacy,anonymityandwell-beingofmyparticipants,on

obtainingtheirinformedconsent(inArabicandEnglish),onmakingitclearto

participantsthattheycandisengageatanytimeandonensuringthatour

interactionsareasunobtrusiveandasbeneficialaspossibletotheirlanguage

learningsituation.Besidestheseestablishedproceduresandformalintentions

however,therewereethicaldilemmastobefacedinthecourseofthequalitative

researchprocess,particularlywhenthefocusofinquirywasthepersonal

experiences,viewsandemotionsofparticipants.

Ethicalissuesdevelopedandchangedatdifferentstagesofthedata-collection

process.Asmyroleandpositionalityasinterviewershiftedtothatofsounding-

board,counsellor,confidanteetc.,participantsbegantorevealintimatedetailsin

storiesoftheirlivesandlearningexperiencestome.AttimesIfeltdiscomfort

anddeflectedtheconversationawayfromsensitivepoliticalorhighlypersonal

topics.ConsideringtheconservativetraditionsandcultureofthecountryIwas

workinginandmyresearchcontext,Ididnotfeelthatpursuingcertainissues

wouldbeappropriate.AtlaterstagesIhadtocontinuallymakeethicaldecisions

aboutwhichpersonal,evenintimate,detailstoincludeinmydataanalysisand

findingssothatmyparticipantswerenotcompromisedeitherpoliticallyor

personally.

Havingpromisedanonymitywiththeuseofpseudonyms,itisoftendifficultto

protecttheidentityoftheparticipantwhentheaimistoproducearich,‘thick’,

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contextualizeddescriptionoftheperson,thesiteortheevent(Duff,2008).

Changingkeyelementstoprotectanonymitymightinterferewiththe

particularityofthecase.Myapproachwastomakeadecisionaseachsituation

arose:eithertoomitordisguisebutnotalteranyelementswhichmightreveal

theparticipant’sidentity.IdecidednottodisclosethelocationofSharifa

University,forexample.Ialsoaskedmyparticipantsafterinterviewswhether

theywouldlikemetoleaveoutanythingtheyhadsaid.Thereseemedtobelittle

ethicalawarenessoverallamongpeopleinmyresearchcontext:participants

continuallyreferredtothetrusttheyhadinmeandneveraskedmetoomit

anything.Inspiteofthis,Ipersistedinmyeffortstobeanon-exploitative

researcher.

Anotherethicalconsiderationwashowmuchinformationabouttheaimsofmy

researchtosharewithmyparticipants.IfItoldthemthatIwantedtoinvestigate

theiridentitiesasEnglishlanguagelearnersthismightinfluencetheirresponses

inourinterviewsandeventheirbehaviourintheclassroom.Idecidedtopresent

myresearchasanexplorationoftheirlearningexperienceinordertogivethem

awiderfieldofreference.Ialsowantedtoeasethepotentialpressureofhaving

toexpoundonanareaaboutwhichtheymightnotfeelknowledgeable:this

mightleadtodiscomfortandevenattrition.Infactoneofthefouryoungwomen

didbecomeareluctantparticipant,inpartduetoherimminentdepartureand

thenherdisappointmentathavingtocontinueatSharifa.Thisdevelopmentwas

bothapracticalandanethicalchallenge.Whilerespectingherrighttowithdraw,

itneededsomesensitivity,patience,goodhumourandflexibilityonmypartfor

hertore-engagewiththeresearchproject.

Howorwhethertodisengagewithmyparticipantsattheendoftheresearch

periodwereimportantethicalquestions.Ididnotwantthemtofeelthatthey

werebeingused.Aftercompletingtheinterviews,wecontinuedourinteraction

throughsocialmedia,telephoneconversationsandeventhroughmeetingsatour

homesandcafés.Ourcontinuedcasualcontactactuallygivesmetheopportunity

tocheckuponfurtheruncertaintiesaboutdataandattimeseventocheckonmy

interpretation.HoweverIamawarethatmyinterpretationandanalysisofthe

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interviewsareinfluencedbymycasual,on-goinginteractionwithmy

participantsandthis“absenceofanalyticclosure”(Dörnyei,2007:87)leadstore-

interpretationsofmydata.

4.4.4Member-checking

Takingdata,interpretationandconclusionsbacktoparticipantsfortheir

correctionsandcommentshasoftenbeenconsideredanimportantvalidity

check,particularlybythoseresearchersworkingfromaneo-orpost-positivist

perspective.Howeverthereareanumberofrisks:ifparticipantsdonotlikethe

analysistheymightchoosetowithdrawortheymightwanttoedittheiroriginal

contributioninordertoappearmorefavourable(Duff,2008).Similarly,

Riessman(2008)emphasizesthelimitsoftherespondentvalidationprocess:

sincethememoryandmeaningofexperienceschangewiththepassingoftime,

participantsmightnotagreewithourcurrentinterpretationsoftheirinterview

narratives.However,Riessman(2008)viewstakingworkbacktoparticipantsas

desirablefromanethicalpointofviewsothattheyhaveanotherchancetogive

theirconsenttotheinclusionofcertainnarrativesegmentsandtocheckwhether

theiridentitieshavebeensuitablydisguised.

Twooutofthefourparticipantsshowedaninterestinviewinginterview

transcriptsandmyinitialanalysesandgavemesomefeedback,whichwas

mostlytocorrectmyArabictranscriptionortoinformmethattheirviewshad

changed.Theothertwoparticipantssaidthatacademiccommitmentsmeantthey

hadnotimetoreadthroughtranscriptsandreports.Ididhavemydoubtsalso

aboutwhethertheirleveloflanguageproficiencywouldbesufficientto

understandmywrittenanalysesandinterpretations.Idecidedtosendeach

participanttheinitialbackgroundnarrativesIhadwrittenonherandthisledto

minorchangesinbiographicaldetail.AfterthatImadeitcleartoparticipants

thattheywerewelcometoviewanyworkwhichrelatedtothem,atanytime.

4.4.5.Reflexivity

Mann(2016:15)proposesaworkingdefinitionofreflexivityas“aconscious

processofthoughtandarticulationcentredonthedynamicsofsubjectivitiesin

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relationtotheinterviewer,theinterviewee(s),andtheresearchfocusand

methodology”.Hegoesontoshowhowthisself-awarenessalsoextendsto

questioningone’sinterpretationandanalyticalmethods.Isetouttobea

reflexiveresearcherbyexaminingmyownfeelingsandattitudestothefocusof

myresearch(Saldaña2013),byreflectingonmychangingrelationshipwith

participantsandbymakingexplicithowmyperspectivesmighthaveshapedthe

interviewprocessinaresearchjournal(Mann,2016).

Itookon-boardcarefulconsiderationofhowmyage,raceandgendermight

affectmydata(CorwinandClemens,2012),inparticularhowmyparticipants

mightreacttomeasaresearcherandasapersonandhowtheymightperceive

thepurposesofmyinvestigation.Talkingtoandbeingobservedbyatarget-

languagespeakerwithmanyyears’teachingexperiencemightbearather

intimidating,constrainingexperience;ontheotherhand,talkingtoanolder

womancouldalsobea“supportive,enablingdialoguebetweenfemales”(Mills,

2001).Iwrotenotesonmyperceptionsofmyparticipants’reactionsandalso,in

laterexchanges,askedthemdirectlyabouttheirinitialimpressionandattitudes

towardsmyresearchandme.

Inadditiontoaspectsofmysocialidentity,insider-outsiderstatuswasanother

importantconsideration.Mann(2016)alertsustothedangerofviewingand

interpretingparticipants’experiencethroughthelensofourfamiliarityand

experience.IndeedIhadtobecarefulnottoviewmyparticipantsasiftheywere

paststudentswithwhomIhadfrequentlyinteracted.Furthermore,the

advantagesofinsightandunderstandingwhichIhadassumedseemed,attimes,

tolosesignificanceduringtheinterviewprocess.Myinsider-outsiderstatus

fluctuatedininteractionasmyparticipantsandInegotiatedourrolesandour

relationship.

Inspiteofmyawarenessthat,asresearcher-interviewer,Ihadtimekeeper

‘power’andthatIwasmostlyincontrolofchoiceandchangeoftopic,especially

inthefirstsemi-structuredinterview,Icametorealisemoreandmore,asI

reflectedonmydata,thateachparticipantwasbuildingherownagendaand

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purposeinourtalk.Eachalsoseemedtorevealaratherdifferentperspectiveon

theappropriatesubjectmatterfordiscussion,fromtheratherformalcomments

onclassroomprocedurestothehighlypersonaldetailsoffamilyconflicts.While

myinterviewquestionsinonewayconstrainedlearnerstosubjectpositionsas

languagelearnersanduniversitystudents,myintervieweeswereatthesame

time“speakingsubjects”whowere“affordedagencytoconstructtheworldin

particularways”andto“positionthemselvesinteractionallyvis-à-visthe

interviewer”(Miller,2011:57).

My‘power’asinterviewerandresearcherhadlimits:Iwaspositionedinmy

interactionwithparticipantsandI“amalsopositionedasneedingtoconstruct

coherenceandmeaningfromthese(participants’)accounts”(Miller,2011:57).I

wasawarethatassumptionsofempathywithmyparticipantscouldleadto

complacency.Ineededtoacknowledgeourdifference.Watson(2012:464)

cautionsthat:“Wemaybeengagedin‘co-construction’ofthenarrative,butthis

doesnotnecessarilyimplysharedmeanings”.Myinterpretationandmy

understandingoftheirmeaningsandconsequentlymyfindingswouldbepartial

andindeterminate.AsMiller(2011)argues,indeterminacyofmeaningisan

unavoidableaspectofallinterviewresearch.

4.5Datacollection

4.5.1Rationale

AsIaimtobeas‘transparent’aspossible,givingadetailedaccountofmy

researchproceduresisanimportantpartofmyclaimtotrustworthiness.AsDuff

(2008:179)recommends,Iamcreating“anaudittrail”ofmydecision-making

throughout.InmynarrativeofwhatIdidandwhy,Iaimtomakethecontinual

revisionandexpansionofmyresearchproject,asitunfoldedovertime,asclear

aspossible.

4.5.2Accessingandgettingtoknowmyresearchsite

Afterpresentingmyresearchproposalatameetingofuniversitydirectors

includingthedirectorofthepreparatoryprogramme(DPP),Isubmitteda

researchplantothepresident’ssecretarywholaterinformedmethatIhadthe

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president’sfullconsenttoconductmyresearchatSharifa.Imadeadecisionto

usethePPasmyresearchsite,ratherthantheuniversity,andPP2studentsas

myparticipants.OnereasonwasthattheDDP,DrS,wastheonlydirectorwho

respondedtomymessagesandemailsandwaskeenformetocarryoutmy

studyinherdepartment.WemetfrequentlyinherofficeandIwasableto

observethreePPclasses.MyotherreasonwasadiscussionwithagroupofPP2

learnersabouttheirEnglishlearningexperiences,inwhichIfoundthemwilling

andabletodiscusstheirlearninginsomedetail.

Inordertofamiliarisemyselfwithmyresearchcontext,duringtheintroduction

weekofthesecondsemester,IspenttimeinDrS’sofficewhilesheregistered

andcounsellednewandcontinuingstudents.Sheexplainedthedifferent

sections,subjects,assessmentproceduresetc.tomeandintroducedmeto

teachersandstudentsinthePP.IalsobrieflydiscussedmyresearchwiththeEFL

teachersandtheytalkedtomeaboutthestudentsandtheteaching/learning

situationatthePP.

4.5.3Findingmyresearchparticipants

AllstudentsinthePPhadaSaudieducationalbackgroundandIintendedto

selectsixSaudistudentswhowouldbeableandwillingtodiscusstheirlearning

experiencesinEnglish.Howeverthescenariooffindingparticipantswasrather

serendipitous(Duff,2008).Oneofthelanguageteachers,MsA,invitedmetosit

inonherListeningandSpeakingclassandIspoketoherstudentsattheendof

classaboutmyresearchandaskedforvolunteerstocometoDrS’sofficefora

briefchat.Onlytwogirlsactuallyturnedup,Alexandra(Alex)andSandra,who

werekeentoparticipateinmyresearchprojectandcommunicatedquitewellin

English.Ipersonallyhandedouttheinformationsheetsandconsentformsto

themandansweredanyquestionstheyhad.Thestudentadvisor,MsL,allotted

timeinheracademicwritingclasstoencouragemorestudentstoparticipatein

myresearchandtodistributethestudentinformation,consentformandthe

biodatasheet.Nourwashesitanttovolunteeratfirst,duetoherperceived

inadequacyinEnglish,butMsLassuredherthatshecouldexpressherselfin

Arabicifnecessary.Nevine,myfourthparticipant,hadonlyrecentlyjoinedthe

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classwhentwosectionsinHumanitiesweremergedthepreviousweek.MsL

encouragedhertojoinusasherspokenEnglishwasofagoodstandard.Their

advisorwasthusinstrumentalinrecruitingparticipantsbyassuringthemthat

theirparticipationwouldbeagoodopportunitytoimprovetheirspokenEnglish.

4.5.4Conductingtheinterviews

Thepurposeoftheinformalinterview,whichwasnotrecorded,wastostart

buildingrapportandtofindoutmyparticipants’generalperceptionsofEnglish

intheirlifeandstudycontexts.IconductedinformalinterviewswithSandraand

Alex,whochosetheirpseudonymswithouthesitation.Basingmyfirstquestions

ontheirbiodata,Ibranchedoutintoinquiriesabouttheirfamilybackground,

theirgoalsandmotives,theirpastschoolexperienceoflearningEnglishandtheir

currentexperience.

WithNourandNevineIfacedtheproblemofirregularityinscheduling

interviews.Theykeptpostponingourappointmentssothateventheirinformal

interviewsdidnottakeplaceuntilafterthefirstactivityobservation.Ihadtobe

understandingovertheirpurportedtransportationproblemsandfamily

pressures,however,andtriedoutdifferentstrategiestoencouragethemto

attendinterviewssuchasgivingthemsmallgiftsandmakingtheinterview

sessionsmorefriendlyand‘social’.Forexample,sinceNourseemedreticentto

attendinterviewsalone,Iorganisedgroupinterviewsafterthesecondandthird

activities.Thesestrategiesprovedquiteeffectivebutstilltiming,numberand

lengthofinterviewsvariedconsiderably,whichIattributedtostudypressures

andfluctuationsinparticipantcommitmenttotheresearchproject.

Notsurprisinglyperhaps,sincetheyhadwillinglyvolunteeredtoparticipatein

myresearch,onlyAlexandSandrawereconsistentlyenthusiasticinfulfilling

theirrolesasinterviewees.AlthoughIhadfewerinterviewswithNourand

Nevine,NourandIhadseveralinformalconversationsandNevineandIbeganto

correspondbyemailthesummerbeforehertransitiontouniversity.Attheend

ofthePPacademicyearIalsosoughttosupplementmyinterviewdataby

devisingaGoodEnglishLanguageLearner(GELL)sheet(seeAppendixE6)which

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requiredparticipantstorategoodlanguagelearnerqualitiesandtocommenton

theirchoicesinEnglishand/orArabic.NourandAlexchosetosendmetheir

writtenresponseswhileNevineandSandrapreferredtodiscusstheirchoicesin

face-to-faceinterviews.

4.5.5Expandingandrevisingmyresearchplan

Myoriginalresearchplanwastoconductthreesemi-structuredinterviewswith

myresearchparticipantsoverthethreemonthsofthesecondPPsemester.

However,Idecidedtoexpandonmyoriginalplanbothintermsofthedata

collectionmethodofthesemi-structuredinterviewandofthetimespanproposed

inmyresearchplan.Therewereseveralreasonsforthis:

a. Myaimwastogainanin-depthunderstandingoftheexperiencesof

myparticipantslearningEnglishinthePPofSharifaUniversity.After

transcribingthe3semi-structuredinterviewsIfeltthatmydata

werenotrichenoughtoallowmetodothis.Also,asIbecamemore

involvedinthetrajectoryofeachparticipant,IfeltIneededtofollow

themfurtherthroughtheirtransitiontouniversityandtheir

freshmanyear.

b. Bythethirdsemi-structuredinterviewmyparticipantshadbegunto

influenceboththelevelofformality,settingandstructureofthe

interviewsthemselvesandIwantedthemeachtocontinueto

developan‘independent’voiceandtopresenttheirideasand

feelingsinmoredetail.

c. Threeofmyresearchparticipants,Alex,SandraandNour,gotbetter

attalkingabouttheprocessoftheirlearningandabouttheacademic

andlifecontextsoftheirlearningandtoldmethattheywouldliketo

continuewithourinterviewsintothenextacademicyear.Nevine,

however,wasnotabletotellmemuchaboutherexperiences,

feelingsandideasinarecordedinterview:shepreferredtowriteme

longemailsandthenlatertovisitmeatmyhomeforafriendly

discussion.IfIhadnotinterviewedherduringherseconduniversity

yearIwouldhavelearntlittleaboutNevine’ssituation.

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d. Therelationshipbetweenmyresearchparticipantsandmyself

evolvedindifferentandunexpectedways:wedevelopedbonds

throughmoreinformaltypesofinteractionsuchasunrecordedface-

to-faceandtelephoneconversations,emailsandtexts.My

participantstendedtoopenuptomeandexpressthemselvesina

varietyofwaysduringtheseinformalinteractions.Ourevolving

relationship,inasense,framedtheseinformaltypesofinteraction.

Atthesametimethenatureofourinteractionsalsoshapedour

relationship.

Inthecourseofthedatagenerationprocessmystudyhadevolvedawayfromthe

ethnographicsettingandcontextofmyparticipants’learning,namelySharifa

University,tothemoreprivatesphereofhome,familiesandrelationships.

Sandra,NourandNevineexpressedtheirpreferencefortalkingtomeatmy

homeandIbecamearegularvisitortoSandra’shome;onlyAlexoutofmyfour

participantsinsistedonmeetingoncampusbecauseshewasnotpermittedby

herfamilytomeetmeoutside.

Expandingonmyparticipantinterviewscheduleandaddingmoreinformal,

conversationalcollectionmethods,placedmoreemphasisontheresponsesand

accountsoftheparticipantsthemselvesintermsoftheirpersonallivesandtheir

educationaltransitionsandexperiences.IntheoriginalresearchplanIhad

intendedtoquestionmyparticipantsontheirperceptionsofthetransitionfrom

highschooltothePPonly,whichtheyexperiencedsomemonthsbeforethestart

ofmyresearchproject.However,thesemi-structuredinterviewsontherevised

schedule,showninTable4.1,takeplaceoveroneyearfromFebruary2012to

February2013.ThisperiodcoverstheirtransitionfromthePPtotheUniversity

inSeptember2012,sotheimmediateandlonger-termeffectsofthistransition

becomeanimportantfocusinourinteractionsafterthattime.Therevised

individualschedulesofparticipantdatacollectioncanbefoundinAppendixG.

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Table4.1:General(revised)scheduleofparticipantdatacollection

WHEN COLLECTIONMETHOD DATAEndofFeb2012-earlyMarch Fill-inform Biodata,narrativesEndofFeb-earlyMarch Informalinterview Fieldnotes,narratives25thFeb2012-20thFeb2013 4-7face-to-facesemi-structured

interviews.AlexSS3onSkype.NevineSS5onSkype,continuedbyemail

Audio-recordingsofinterviews(exceptforNevineSS6).Fieldnotes

29thFeb201210thApril22ndApril

Observationofclassactivities:Act.1Act.2Act.3

Audio-recordingsandfieldnotes.

29thFeb201210thApril23rdApril25thApril

Post-activityinterviews:Alex,Nevine,SandraonlyonA1GroupinterviewonA2Alex,SandraonA3Ne,NoingroupinterviewonA3

Audio-recordingsandfieldnotes.

7thJune201210thSept-17thOct15thSept16thSept

ResponsetoGELLsheet:Sandra-GELLinterviewAlex-3emailsNour-filled-informNevine-GELL/SS4interview

FieldnotesAudio-recordingWrittenresponseWrittenresponseAudio-recording

10thSept2012-20May201315thDec2012-19thNov201315thFeb2013-14thMay201317thNov2013-27thNov2013

Unrecordedconversations(inadditiontotelephoneconversations):Nour-2Sandra-3Alex-2Nevine-2(includesunrec.con.)

Fieldnotes

10thJuly2012-27thNov2013

Emailsandtexts:Nevine-12emails,2texts

Fieldnotes

4.6Transcription

Theactoftranscribingrecordeddataisconsideredmorethanjustamechanical

process:itisthefirststageofanalysisandinterpretation(Cameron,2001;Duff,

2008;Kvale,2007).Themodeoftranscriptionselecteddependsonthe

theoreticalconcerns,interpretativestanceandanalyticalpurposesofthe

researcher.Researchershavetomakeaseriesofdecisionsonwhattoinclude

andexclude:indeedRichards(2003)andRiessman(2008)presentdifferent

transcriptsofthesamestretchesoftalkinordertoshowhow‘evidence’inone

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version,whichismissinginanother,canpointanalysts(andreaders)indifferent

directions.

WhenIstartedtranscribingtherecordedinterviewsmyconcernwastobe

accurateand‘holistic’inordertorepresentmyparticipants’voicesascloselyas

possible.Idecidedtoincludefalsestarts,repetitions,fillers,pauses,interruptions

andcode-switchesinmytranscriptions(seeTable4.2).Ialsowantedtotryto

capturetheperformativeandemotionalfeaturesofourencountersoIincluded

verbaldescriptionsoftone,pitch,volumeandpaceofvoiceaswellaslaughter.I

decidednottomeasurepausesorincludeelongatedsounds,asmypurposewas

nottoconductafine-grainedConversationalAnalysis.Iwasaimingforboth

accuracyandreadabilityandasDuff(2008:155)cautions:“averyfinetuned

transcriptioncaninterferewithreadability”.Whileparalinguisticdetailwas

importanttomytranscriptionandanalysis,Ididnotwantitscomplexityto

detractfromthestoriesbeingtold.

Ialsotookonboardaconsiderationofthe‘political’aspectsoftranscription

(Green,FranquizandDixon,1997;Roberts,1997):transcriptsareresearchers’

constructionswhichrepresentparticipantsinparticularways.This

considerationisparticularlyrelevanttomeasIamrepresentingArabicspeakers

whoaremainlyusingEnglishasasecond/foreignlanguage.Theissuehereis

howIcanmanagethetensionbetweentranscribingaccuratelyandconsistently

andatthesametimerepresentingthe‘voice’oftheparticipantsexpressing

themselvesinanotherlanguage(Roberts,1997).Consequently,Ihadtomakea

numberofstrategicdecisionsabouttranscribingmyparticipants’talk:Idecided

notto‘tidyup’participants’Englishspeechbycorrectinglanguagemistakesbut

tousestandard,ratherthanphonemic,orthographyinorderto“avoid

stigmatisationandtoevokethenaturalnessofspeech”(Roberts,1997:170).

ItranscribedArabicspeechintoromanizedscriptusingtheALA-LCromanization

tablefromtheAmericanLibraryAssociationandtheLibraryofCongress(see

AppendixJ)andthentranslatedintoEnglish.TempleandYoung(2004)urgeall

researcherstoreflectonhowtheyrepresentpeopleintranslation.Transcribing

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equivalentwordsfromArabicintoEnglishisnotjustatechnicalissuebutalso

oneofreconstructingthespeechoftheparticipantandoneinwhichItriedto

stayascloseaspossibletomyunderstandingoftheintentions,feelingsand

valuesofthespeaker’s‘message’.OntheotherhandIrealisethatusingEnglish

“astheyardstickformeaning”(TempleandYoung,2004:167)maycloudand/or

devaluetheculturalmeaningsofArabicspeech.Withthehelpofafamily

memberwhoisabilingualspeakerandeducatedinbothArabicandEnglish,I

producedatranslationwhichaimedtoreflecttheseculturalmeanings.

Theformoftranscriptioncanalsovaryoverthecourseoftheinquiryaswhatis

relevantbecomesclearer(Hammersley,2012).Forexample,asIrevised

interviewtranscriptsonrepeatedlistenings,Ibecameawareoftheinteractional

featuresofourconversationssoIneededtoadjustmytranscriptionsystemto

bringoutfeaturesoftheinteraction.Consequently,inmytranscription,Ichoseto

clearlyseparateoutanddisplayasaccuratelyaspossiblemyownwordsand

paralinguisticfeaturesbutinanextendedparticipant’saccountIdecidedto

insertmyrequestsforclarification,interjectionsandexclamationsofsurpriseor

encouragementwithinthebodyofmyparticipant’stalk.Inthiswaythereader

cangetmoreofasenseoftheinteractionalcontextaswellastheco-constructed

‘self’oftheparticipantinsteadoffocusingonthenarrativeitselfasaproduct

(Riessman,2008).However,inthegroupinterviewsIdecidedtoseparateout

utterancesbydifferentspeakers,forclarity’ssake.

Theinterviewswerebecomingmuchmorethanvehiclesforpassingon

information:the‘socialaction’neededtobeaccountedforintranscription.I

decideditwasimportantformetotryandcapturesomeoftheinaudibleaspects

ofparticipants’behavioursuchasgesturesandfacialexpressionsinadditionto

thedetailsofvoicediscussedearlier.AsIlistenedtotherecordedinterviews,I

usedmyjournalnotesandmyrecollectionstoaddnon-verbaldetailstomy

transcriptsinblockedbrackets.Thesedetailsexemplifytheporousnessofthe

boundarybetweentranscribingandinterpreting.Here,Alexcommentsonand

divertsfromatopicIintroduceinordertolaunchintoher‘Jordan’narrative:

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K:Sonowthelastquestionis(P)[inanamusedtone]areyouenjoyingyouryearsofaratuniversity?[laughs]A:[laughingratherhysterically]You’regonnaaskmethisquestionnow?[ironicfacialexpression]K:[laughswithembarrassment]A:[seriouslynow]Ithinktherearealotofthingsdifferentbetweenthecollegeandthehighschool(K:ah!)youknow,thewayyoustudy… (AlexSS5:20)

Mytranscriptswerebeginningtolookmoreandmorelikeplayscriptswith‘stage

directions’andactor’snotes.Theperformance,positioningandinteractional

featuresoftheinterviewscametothefore,showinghowtranscriptionisalso

partlyanalysis.Thustheconstructionofmytranscriptsbecamethe

interpretativelinkbetweenmyprimarydataandmyanalysis.

Table4.2Transcriptionconventionsused

(adaptedfromDuff,2008:157)

A AlexK KathyNe NevineNo NourS Sandra_______ emphasisonword(s)CAPS heavystressonword(s)(P) pause(longerthan1second)= latchedutterance{} overlappingspeech[] non-vocalaction;mannerofspeaking;tone,pitch,volume,speedofvoice,whoisbeingspokento.. fallingintonation? risingintonation, continuousintonation,slightpause,insertedtosupportmeaning! surprisedtone{{xxx}} inaudiblespeech___ interruptedspeech… omittedutterance(s)() Englishtranslation,alternativeword(s)tosupportmeaningitalics Arabicused“” directspeech

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4.7Analyticalapproaches

4.7.1Initialsteps

Ihadrealisedfromtheoutsetofmyqualitativeresearchprojectthatmyroleas

analystwouldbeoneofbricoleur,andthattheprocessofanalysiswouldbelong

and‘messy’.However,Iwaswillingtoexperimentwithvariousmethodsthat

mightleadmetoagreaterunderstandingofmycases.Mypreliminaryanalysis

andinterpretationbeganearlyonintheresearchprojectasInoteddown

featuresandpatternsinparticipantstatementswhichemergedinmydatain

memosandfieldnotes(HammersleyandAtkinson,2007).Iwasintendingto

laterlookforpatternsanddevelopmentswithinandacrossinterviewswhich

mightgivemeinsightsintothelearner’sindividuallearningtrajectoryandalso

intotheparticularsocial,culturalandlifecontextofthelearner.Asparticipants’

responsesbecamelongeraccountsoftheirlanguagelearningexperienceand

evenofthewiderlifecontextIdecidedthatathematicnarrativeanalysis,which

didnotfragmentthedata,mightbemoreappropriateandmeaningful.

4.7.2Thematicnarrativeanalysis

Mylistsofparticipantstatementsseemedobviousandclichédasdataifnot

linkedtomydevelopingtheoreticalframeworkofidentityconstruction.Ina

narrativethematicanalysisIcouldexplorethedevelopingandchanging

identitiesofmyparticipantsasreflectedandconstitutedinmyinterview,

observationsandresearchjournaldata.Idecidednottouseagroundedanalysis

because:

a)mystudycentredonindividualcasesratherthanonthematic categoriesacrosscases; b)itwasimportanttometopreservethesequenceofmydata; c)thelocalcontextofdatagenerationwasalsoimportant.

In“grantingmysubjectbothagencyandvoice”(Pavlenko,2007:180),myaim

wasnottocodeandcategorisethecontentofmyinterviewdatasothatmy

participants’‘voices’couldnolongerbeheard.Thusthefragmentationand

decontextualisationofagroundedanalysisdidnotservemypurposes.Onlyina

thematicnarrativeanalysiscouldIexplorethemeaningandnuancesofthebig

storyofmyparticipantsinordertofruitfullyanswerthequestion:howdo

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participantsconstructtheirpastandpresentlearningexperiencesastheymove

throughPP2,thetransitiontouniversityandthenthroughtheirfreshmanyear?

4.7.3Interviewsasinteractivepractice

Theinteractionalnatureoftheinterviewaffectsthecontentoftalk:italsoaffects

theformofthe‘telling’(see4.3.2).Ananalysisofthenarrativeexamineshow

secondlanguagelearnersconstructthemselvesinasecondlanguage,howthey

userhetoricalandlinguisticdevicestointerpretexperienceandtoposition

themselvesandothersandtheinteractionalfunctionoftheirnarratives

(Pavlenko,2007).Theformofthe‘telling’:howparticipantsconstructedand

presentedthemselves,others,‘events’andexperiencesintheinterviewsgrewin

importanceduringthecourseofmyanalysisasitallowedaricherunderstanding

ofwhatparticipantswerecommunicatingtomeandalertedmetothe

methodologicalissuessurroundinginterviews.Whileaconsiderationoftheco-

constructedaspectsoftheinterviewwasanimportantpartofmyanalysis,Idid

notwanttocarryoutamicro-analysisthatwasconfinedtothelocalcontext,as

inConversationAnalysis(DeFinaandGeorgakopoulou,2012).

4.7.4Performanceanddramaturgicalanalysis

TheperformativenatureofinterviewshasbeenemphasisedbyPavlenko(2007)

andRiessman(2008)amongothers,particularlyinstudiesofidentityandself-

construction(see3.2.2.3).Anextractofparticipant’stalkinaninterviewisnot

merelyusedasevidenceofrecountedeventsorexperiences:weneedto

recognisethatsocialactorsdothingswithwords,“thatspokendiscoursealways

takesplacewithinformsofactionorperformance”(HammersleyandAtkinson,

2007:170).Iwantedtoexaminehowparticipantsactuallybroughttheirstories

tolifeforme,theiraudience.InthiswayIcouldfocusonhowidentitieswere

actuallyperformed:whatrolesandpositionsweremyparticipantstakingupin

ordertocreateversionsofthemselvesandothers?HowdidI,andotherrealand

imaginaryaudiences,affectandevenco-producethesedramatizations?In

emphasizingperformanceIdonotmeantosuggestthatparticipant

constructionsofidentityareinauthentic:theyaresituatedandproducedwitha

particularaudienceinmind(Riessman,2008).

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ConsequentlyIdecidedtouseadramaturgicalanalysisinordertobringoutthis

performanceaspectinparticipantconstructions.Saldaña’s(2013)Dramaturgical

Codingviewsinterviewnarrativesassocialperformancewithhumans

interactingasacastofcharacters.Asdiscussedin3.2.2.3,theindividual/social

actorisbothacharacterperformedandaperformerandmyinterpretative

activity,asaudience,isnecessaryforthischaracter/performer‘self’toemerge

(Goffman,1959).Myroleisthusalsoadualone:ofinterpreterwithinthe

interactionoftheinterviewandalsoofretrospectiveinterpreter/analystof

recordingsandtranscripts.Saldaña’s(2013)dramaturgicalcodesuseterms

whichapplytocharactersinaplayscript.ThesixfacetsofhisDramaturgical

Coding:participant-actor’sobjectives(OBJ),conflictsorobstacles(CON),tactics

orstrategies(TAC),attitudes(ATT),emotions(EMO),subtexts(SUB),helpedme

gaininsightsintomyparticipants’self-presentationsbecausehereIhadtolook

formorethanjustthereferentialmeaningoftheirstatements:theparticipant-

actoradoptssubjectpositionsandpresentsthemselvesandtheirworldtotheir

audience,usingdialogue,monologue,asides,rhetoricalspeechaswellastones

andnuancesofvoice,laughter,facialexpressionsetc.Althoughhedidnotinclude

theminthesecondeditionofhiscodingmanual,Saldañaemploystwomore

facetsofDramaturgicalCoding,thePhysical(PHY):howthecharacter/actor

moves,gestures,expressionsetc.andtheVerbal(VER):howthecharacter/actor

sounds,tones,nuancesofvoiceetc.(personalcommunication,30July2013).I

includedthesefacetsifrecordedinmytranscriptsand/orfieldnotesandifIfelt

theyaddedtoanunderstandingofthepresentationalaspectsofmydata.

4.8Dataanalysis

4.8.1Interviews

Ifirstwroteabackgroundnarrativeoneachparticipantbasedonthe

informationtheyhadgivenmeontheirbiodataformsandinthefirst,

unrecorded,informalinterviewbypickingoutandnotingsalientthemessuchas

“dislikesgroupwork”and“constructsselfashighachievingstudent”.Even

thoughmyaimwastoprovidea‘factual’backgroundandtheinformalinterview

hadnotbeenrecorded,myfieldnotesindicatedwaysinwhichparticipantswere

fromthebeginningpresentingthemselvestomeasparticulartypesoflearners

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andpeopleandhowourfirstinteractionswerecreatingabasisforourresearch

relationship.

Idecidedtoconductmyanalysisofinterviewdataonthreeinterrelatedlevels:

a. athematicnarrativeanalysis,whichfocusedonparticipantreferential

statementsconcerning‘events’andexperienceswithintheirlearning

andlifecontexts;

b. aninteractionanalysiswhichexaminedourshiftingrolesand

positionswithintheinterviewsaswellashowwepositionedeach

other;

c. adramaturgicalandtextualanalysisinwhichIanalysedhowmy

participantsconstructed,presentedandpositionedthemselvesand

othersintheirnarrativesandother‘talk’.

Thisthree-wayanalysiswouldgivemeanin-depthexaminationofmydatafrom

differentperspectives,capturingthereferentialcontent,theinteractionalcontext

andtheperformativeaspectsoftheinterviews.Followingthiscomplexanalytical

procedurewitheachofmyfourparticipantswasindeedextremelytime-

consumingbuthadseveraladvantages:itallowedmetopreservethe

interactionalcontextofmyinterviewdataratherthantofocusexclusivelyonmy

participant’scontribution;Icoulddelvedeeperthanthepurelyreferential

meaningofthewordsintotheintendedorevenunintendedpresentational

featuresofmydata;inanalysinglargechunksoftalkwithasequenceofthematic

statementsIavoideddecontextualizingmydataintoshortcodesorfragments;I

wasabletotracedevelopments,changesorconsistenciesinthelearner’sbig

narrativeoveroneyear,asreflectedintheinterviews;Iwasalsoabletoexamine

insomedepththefunctionandfeaturesofthesmaller,oftendramatized

narratives;myinterpretationofdataformedaclearlydiscerniblepartofthe

analysisitselfratherthanmerelyapost-analysisstage;itallowedmeto

continually‘thinkwithmydata’(HammersleyandAtkinson,2007)ratherthan

focusontheiranalyticalproducts;consequently,Icouldexpandormodifymy

interpretationsrightupuntilthetimeofwritingupmyfindings.

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Afterasecondlisteningandre-adjustmentofmytranscriptsofeachsemi-

structuredinterviewIwroteadetailedanalyticalaccount,dividedintoscenesby

topic,withaprologueandconclusion,whichanalysedandinterpretedthedata

asa)narrative-thematic,asb)interactionandasc)dramaturgicalandrhetorical

presentation.Myanalysiswaseclecticanddata-driveninthesensethat‘talk’in

differentsectionsoftheinterviewseemedtoemphasiseaself-presentational,

performative,interactiveorinformation-givingapproachorcombinationsoftwo

ormoreofthese.Iuseddifferentfontsinordertohighlightthethreelevelsof

analysis,althoughtherewasconsiderableoverlap.However,thiswasauseful

techniqueinwhichtoidentifydramatizednarrativesandtoexaminetheir

functionandstructure.Asillustration,anexcerptfromthebeginningofNour’s

SS5interviewandmyanalyticalaccountoftheexcerptcanbefoundinAppendix

I1.AfteranalysinginthiswayIproceededtowriteanalyticsummariesofallthe

interviews(forsampleanalyticsummaryseeAppendixI2).Theseformedthe

coreofmyanalysis.Focusingonthesummariesofpre-transitioninterviewsand

thenpost-transitioninterviews,Iwroteoutmy‘findings’relatingtoconstruction

ofidentityandsubjectpositionswhichwouldformthebasisofthebignarrative

ofeachparticipant.

4.8.2Otherdata

A. Fieldnotes:Iwrotesummariesofmyfieldnoteswhichincludedmy

contactwithparticipants,ourrelationshipovertime,ourpre-andpost-

interviewunrecordedconversations,ouremailcorrespondenceandany

observationsandmemosIhadwrittendowninbetweenmeetingsand

whiletranscribingtheirdata.Thesewereimportantforthevisualization

ofcontextandparticipantbehaviour.Iwroteupsummariesintwoparts:

onepre-universityandthesecondcoveredthefreshmanyear.Icompared

thetwopartsinordertoexaminechangesanddevelopmentsovertimein

ourrelationshipandinteraction.Asfarasmynotesallowed,Iexamined

myparticipants’presentationsofthemselves,othersandsituationsas

wellasmyroleandcontributiontoourinteraction.Afterwritinga

summaryanalysisInoteddownlinksbetweentheinterviewsandthefield

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notessuchas:“Alexgiveshermotheravoiceinourconversationsbutin

theinterviewshermotherrarelyhasavoice.”

B. Classactivities:Iexaminedtheparticipant’sroleineachofthethree

activitiesandwroteasummaryofwhatshedidandsaid,usingthe

transcriptsandfieldnotes,focusingonherinteractionwiththeteacher

andotherstudents.Thesesummarieswereanalysedforlinkstothemain

interviewdataandalistoflinkedthemeswascompiled.Anexampleofa

link/comparisonbetweeninterviewdataanddatafromtheclassactivities

was“Alexsaysshelovesbeingactivewiththeteacher(SS1)butinmy

observationsoftheactivitiesIfoundshehardlyeversoughtoutan

interactionwiththeteacher”.HoweverIdidnotusemyobservationdata

toundercutmyinterviewdata.Ivieweddatasetsastheresultofdifferent

datagenerationmethods:neitherhadabiggerclaimon“the”truth.

C. Participantpost-activityinterviews:Iwroteasummaryofwhateach

participantsaidabouteachoftheactivities,particularlyconcerningher

interactionwiththeteacherandotherstudents.Iusedthesamethree-

tieredsystemofinformation-interaction-performancetoanalysethese

data.Again,Iexaminedlinksbetweentheseinterviewsandthesemi-

structuredinterviewsbutinadditionIcomparedthemwithmy

observationsandtranscriptsoftheactivitiesandwiththeteacher’spost-

activityinterviews.

D. Teacherinterviews:Iwrotesummariesofboththetwosemi-structured

interviewswiththeteacherinwhichIincludedherviewsandcomments

ontheparticularteachingandlearningcontextaswellasanything

relevanttotheindividualparticipants.Inmysummaryofthe3post-

activityinterviewswiththeteacherIcomparedheraccountoftheactivity

withthatofeachparticipantandalsosummarisedanycommentsthe

teachermadeontheirparticipationintheactivity.

4.8.3Movingonwithmydataanalysis

FinallyIwroteagenerallistoffindingsconcerninghowthe‘OtherData’impinge

onthemaininterviewdata,notinthesenseofdiscreditingwhatparticipants

saidinthesemi-structuredinterviews,butwithaviewtoobtainingamore

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complexpictureoftheiridentitiesaslearners.ThusIhadacomplexsetof

‘findings’foreachparticipant,gatheredfrommydatasets.Withmy‘findings’I

wasconfidentthatIcouldconstructthebignarrativeoftheirlearningandlife

trajectories.Icouldalsoexaminetheidentitiestheyreconstructedand

renegotiatedbeforeandaftertheirtransitiontouniversity.Thebignarrativeis

myconstructionofthosethreadsofnarrativeidentitywhichIhaveidentifiedas

salientacrossourinterviews,ourconversationsandtoalesserextent,my

observationsofin-classbehaviourandourpost-activitydiscussions.Fromthese

narrativethreadsIidentifiedfourorfivesalient,‘big’identitiesforeach

participantwhichreflectedthecontinuitiesandchangesintheirself-

presentationsthroughtimeandplace.Ialsodecidedtogiveeachofthe

interviewsatitletorepresenttheconstructedstageinthecontextofeach

participant’sEL2learning,inordertoobtainanoverviewoftheirtrajectories.

However,inadditiontoalong-termviewofparticipantconstructionofnarrative

identity,Iwantedalsotoobtainamorein-depthunderstandingofhowsubject

positionsemergedinnarrativeperformanceandinourmoment-by-moment

interaction.ThereforeIdecidedtoconductanarrativepositioninganalysis,using

Bamberg’s(1997)model,ofnarrativeextractsfromtheinterviews.Thesesmall

storieswereselectedfromdifferentstagesofthebignarrativeonthebasisof

theircriticalimpact,oftheintensityoftheemotionsexpressedandofthespace

giventothenarrativebyparticipants(andmyselfinco-construction).My

analysisofsmallstorieswasguidedbythethreeinterrelatedlevelsofnarrative

positioning:

A. Thepositioningandevaluationofcharactersandeventsinthestory.

B. Theinteractiveaccomplishmentofthestorythroughmutualpositioning,

narrativefunctionand‘artful’performativedevicesinresponseto

audience.

C. Narrator’spositioning,‘whoamI?’withrespecttodominantdiscoursesof

theirsocioculturalcontext.

AlthoughBamberg(2007)isdoubtfuloverthecommensurabilityofbigandsmall

storymethodology,Isoughttobringthemtogethersothattheymight

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complementoneanother.Whilethebignarrativeframesandcontextualizesthe

smallstories,thelatterthrowintoreliefsignificantaspectsofthepresentationof

subjectpositionsthatmaynotbepickedupinthebignarrative.Identitytrouble,

forexample,suchasaperformedclashofidentitiesdifficulttoreconcile,canbe

investigatedinmoredepthinthesmallstory.Ontheotherhand,thebig

narrativecanexplainparticipants’longer-terminvestmentsinsubjectpositions

intermsoftheirexpressedgoals,lifecontextandenvisionedfutureselves.Thus

inthepresentationofmycasestudiesIneitherconfinemyselfto‘smallstory’

analysiswhichfocusesonthe‘hereandnow’ofthetelling,neitherdoIlimitmy

bignarrativetothecontentofautobiographicalreflectionsonexperience

withoutaccountingforthe‘how’ofthetelling.

Basedonmythree-wayanalysis,Iused‘bignarrative’tomeantheresearch

reportofmy‘narrativeknowledging’(Barkhuizen,2011)ofparticipants’ongoing

accountsacrossinterviewsandIused‘smallstory’tomeananarrativeextract,

theanalysisofwhichhighlightsitsdiscursiveandperformativeconstruction

withintheinterview.Thetwonarrativelevelsarerelationalinthattheymake

contextualconnectionsandlinksbetweendifferenttellingswithinandacross

interviews.Neitherrefertopre-existingattitudes,beliefs,emotionsormemories

butfocusontheexpressionandpresentationoftheseintheinterviews,

conversationsandobservations.ThisiswhytheHistoricPresenttenseseemed

themostappropriateforwritingthecasestudies.Aparticipant’saccountisnota

reportonpasteventsandexperiencebutcomesaliveinherimaginative,

constructedandsituatedtelling.Ireferredtomytranscriptsformybignarrative

butthetranscriptsofnarrativeextractswerewrittenoutonshortnumbered

lines:thiswasdonetodrawattentiontorhythms,repetitions,metaphors,

differentvoices,structureetc.inordertohighlightperformancefeaturesofthe

textastalk.

4.9Writingthecasestudies

Choosingastructureandstyleforwritingthecasestudiesisamajorpartofthe

representationprocess:apersuasive,engagingaccountcancontribute

immenselytothecredibilityandauthenticityofthestudy(Duff,2008).

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Richardson(1998)goesfurther:writingisnotamoppingupactivityattheendof

thedataanalysisstage;itisamethodofinquiryinitself.ThisishowIviewmy

writingofthecasestudies,aspartoftherepresentationprocesswhichisnot

definitivebutpartial,subjectiveandongoing.Irecognisethatmyconstructions

arefallibleandthatacasecouldbemadeforalternativeinterpretationsofmy

data.However,Istriveforaninformed,analyticalconstructionof‘reality’:one

whichisobviouslyrhetoricallyconstructed,imaginativeandsubjectivebutnot

self-indulgent(HammersleyandAtkinson,2007).

Ibuildeachofmyfourcasescasemainlyfrommyanalysisandinterpretationof

interviewdataenrichedbyobservations,fieldnotesandmyresearchjournal.My

approachisthatof‘narrativeknowledging’(Barkhuizen,2011,2013):through

myanalysis,interpretationandrepresentation,Iammakingsenseofthe

narrativedataofmycaseswiththepurposeofreachingadeepunderstandingof

theidentitiesassecondlanguagelearnerswhichtheyprojectintheinterviews.I

alsotakeintoaccountthemacro-contextoflanguage,socialandcultural

discourseswhichpositionthemandinwhichtheyarepositioned(Pavlenko,

2007).

IhaveselectivelyusedStake’s(1995)organisationofacasereport,asadaptedby

Duff(2008:192),inordertostructuremyaccount:

A. Ibeginwithanentryvignettewhichisanextractfromthetranscriptofan

interview,selectedtogivethereaderafeelfortheparticipant’s

presentationofheridentityinrelationtoherEnglishlearning.

B. Thisisfollowedbyadescriptivenarrativeoftheparticipant,basedonthe

biodataandfirst,informalinterviewasbackgroundtothecase.AlsoIgive

myaudienceanideaofthecontextandcourseoftherelationshipwhich

developedbetweentheparticipantandme.

C. Throughadescriptive,analyticalandinterpretivenarrative,Ithen

identifythesalientissuesofcontentandconstructioninthebignarrative

ofthelearnerwhichhelpedmetounderstandthedevelopmentofthecase

overtime.

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D. Ialsouseotherdata,suchasfieldnotesonclassactivitiesandonmy

conversationswithparticipantstoexpandonthisaccountandtogain

furtherunderstandingofthecomplexityofthecase.

E. InterspersedwiththebignarrativeareanalysesofsmallstorieswhichI

deemcriticalinthattheyareaccountsofkeymoments.Ifocusonhowmy

participantsandIco-constructanunfoldingnarrativeandhowwe

negotiateanarrativeperformance.Theorderofstoriesisbasedmoreon

thematicrelevanceandlessonchronologicalsequence.Eachsmallstory

analysisstartswithashortsummary.Thereaderisreferredto

AppendicesA-Dinwhicheachcompletesmallstorymayberead.

InthiswayIaimtopresentthecaseasasocialencounter:bothasanaccountof

myinteractionwithmyparticipantandalsoasanencounterbetweenmy

reader/audience,mycaseandmyself.

4.10SummaryofMethodologyChapter

Myaiminthischapterwastoconveyasenseofmotioninthemethodological

concernsofmystudy.Afterintroducingmyresearchsettingandmyparticipants,

Iwentontojustifymyuseofnarrativeandethnographicmethodsandthen

showedhowinterviewsasbothproduct(supplyingcontent)andasdiscursive,

performativeprocess,becamethecoredatacollectionmethodofmycasestudies.

Intermsofthetrustworthinessofmyresearch,Idescribedmyapproachasone

ofprincipledsubjectivityinwhichmethodological,ethicalandreflexiveaspects

weregivendueemphasisandcontinuallyreconsidered.WhileIaimedto

communicateanuancedunderstandingofEL2learnerslivingandlearningina

contextunfamiliartomanyreaders,myclaimswereconstrainedbythe

indeterminacyofmeaningwhichresulted,inpart,fromcontradictoryand

unstableparticipantconstructions.

Inmy‘audittrail’ofproceduresIagaingaveanaccountofreassessmentsand

adaptationsinthecourseofmyresearchproject,suchastheexpansionofmy

interviewscheduleintotheuniversityyear.Ithendescribedmytranscription

methods,showinghowImadeadjustmentsinordertocapturetheperformative

featuresoftalkandinteraction.Thedataanalysissectionwastakenupwith

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detailsofmytriple-levelanalysisofinterviews:narrative-thematic,interactional

anddramaturgical/performative.Ijustifiedthiscomplexanalyticalprocedurein

termsofinvestigatingboththe‘whats’andthe‘hows’ofinterviewsinorderto

writetheongoingbignarrativeofmyparticipants.Ithenexplainedmynarrative

positioninganalysisofselectedsmallnarrativeextractsfromwhichshifting

subjectpositionscouldbefurtherinvestigated.Thechapterendedwitha

descriptionofthestructureofthecasestudies.

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CHAPTER5ALEXANDRA

Alex …doyouknowwhensomeSaudiwomen whotalkEnglishandyouknowOKshe’s aSaudiwomanoranEgyptianwoman (K:yeah).Imeansomegirlswhenyouhear themifyouheardthemonthephone youwouldnotguesstheyareanArabic people(K:youwouldliketospeaklikethem) Iwouldliketobelikethem.(K:why)Iguess Iwillachievesomething.OrIwillproveto myselfthatI’mlikethem.Ididsomething.Ihavethisaccent.IlearnedsomethingfromthesefouryearsandreallyifItalktosomeonehewillsay“OhmyGod!Youaregood!” (A-SS7:10)5.1Ourrelationship

Alexandra(Alex)istheonlyoneofmyfourparticipantswhopolitelyrefusesto

meetmeoutsidetheuniversitycampus,assheclaimsherfatherwouldnotallow

it.AlthoughIusuallytakemyʿabāyah4offfortheinterview,Ihaveneverseen

Alexwithoutherʿabāyahandonlyoccasionally,whentogetherinanotherwise

desertedclassroom,hassheremovedherṭarḥa.Howeverthisconservative

imageisbeliedbyhermannerandherspeech:unliketheotherssherarelyuses

religiousterms,neverbringsreligionintoourconversationsandIhavenever

seenherpray.Thiscouldbeanaspectofheridentitywhichshedeems

inappropriatetothecontextofourinterviewsandconversationsonlearning

Englishandoneshechoosesnottopresenttome.

Aslight,bright-eyedbrunette,Alexlooksrathernervouswhenwefirstmeetin

thePPDirector’sofficefortheinformalinterview.Atfirstsheseemsunsure

abouttheinterviewsituationbutappearsinterestedinmeasanacademic

practitionerandtriesherbesttorespondspecificallytomyquestions.Duringthe

courseofourinterviews,shetendsnottostrayfromtopicsrelevanttoher

languagelearningandherstudies.Alexalsoalwaysinsistsontalkingtomeinan

emptyPPclassroomevenwhenweagreetomeetforaninformalconversation.

4SeeGlossary

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Ofthefourparticipants,Alexistheonewhoshowsmostinterestinmyresearch.

Inourunrecordedconversationstowardstheendoftheresearchperiod,she

asksmespecificquestionssuchaswhyIdidn’tchooseex-internationalschool

participantswhowouldspeakbetterEnglishandwhyIdidn’ttalktomore

studentssothatIwouldgetawiderpicture.Ontwooccasionsshetalksabout

howshehasbenefitedfromthespeakingpracticeandmyexperience.Shesays

shefeelscomfortabletalkingtomebecause:“Youdon’tjudgeme.Youjustwant

tounderstand”(post-SS5conversation-FN:11).Alexisthemostreliableand

committedtomyresearchoftheparticipants:sheshowsenthusiasmin

schedulingourinterviewsasiftheyareanimportantpartofheracademic

timetable.

5.2Background

Althoughborn,raisedandeducatedinSaudiArabia,Alexistheonlyoneofthe

fourwhoisnotSaudibynationality.ShedescribesherparentsasJordanian-

Palestinianinherinformalinterview(seeAppendixF1).Atthebeginningofthe

researchprojectshewas19yearsold.Shetellsmethatherfatherworkswitha

teamoflawyers,oneofwhomisAmerican,andspeaksEnglishwell,buther

motherdoesn’tspeakEnglishatallandhasneverworkedoutsidethehome.Alex

attendedstateschoolsthroughoutherschoolyearsanddescribesherschool

Englishlearningasafailure.SheplanstomajorinEnglishandTranslationat

university.Herparentsdidnotencouragehertostudythissubjectatthe

beginning,astheydidn’tthinkherEnglishwasgoodenough,butnow,impressed

withherexcellentgrades,havechangedtheirminds.Shelovestranslationand

wouldliketoworkasatranslatorinabigcompany.Whenshegraduatesshe

hopestogoontogetamaster’sdegreeinEnglishandTranslationfromSharifa,

butsheisnotsureiftheyofferthis.AlexsaysitisalsoimportanttolearnEnglish

asitisasecondlanguageinSaudiArabiaanditisamethodofcommunicating

withpeopleofdifferentnationalities.

ThisfirstencounterwithAlexhasshownmetwoimportant‘facts’abouther

situation:firstly,thatsheisanoutsiderinthesenseofnotbeingSaudi,whichis

significantbecauseIknowsheisnoteligibleforthegovernmentscholarshipwhich

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amountstofiftypercentofthefeesandsecondly,thatshefeelstheneedtoproveto

herparentsthattheyhaveinvestedwiselyinheruniversityeducation.Thissecond

pointisrelatedtothefirstinthat,asIpresume,theheftyprivateuniversityfees

couldbeastrainonthefamilyincome.Furthermore,fromourfirst,informal

interview,Alexputsemphasisonheracademicidentity:sheconstructsherselfasa

serious,dedicatedPPstudentwithacademicandprofessionalambitionsandarather

positiveself-imageofherscholasticabilitiesandachievements.ThePPisviewedasa

creditableinstitution,helpinghertofulfilheraimsofbecomingabetterspeakerand

oflearningmorevocabulary,whichsheneedsifsheistodowellthefollowingyear

atuniversity.HeruseofEnglishasalinguafrancainherdealingswithnon-academic

lifeisasecondaryconsideration.

5.3Alex’sbignarrativeandsmallstories

5.3.1Overview

ThetitleswhichIhavegiveneachoftheseveninterviews,whichtookplacefrom

thebeginningofthePP2semestertotheseconduniversitysemester,represent

myoverviewofthedevelopmentinAlex’sconstructionofherlanguagelearner

‘self’,oftheprocessandevaluationoflearningandachievement,ofthetransition

tothenewuniversitylearningcontextandofhercopingwiththechallengesof

adaptingtoanewsystem:

25Feb2012 SS1 AsatisfiedPP2Englishlearner

9April SS2 Somecracksinthesystembeginningtoshow

16June SS3 I’vecompletedthePPyearbuthaven’tmovedfar

TRANSITIONTOUNIVERSITY

10Sept SS4 ThisboundarycrossingisharderthanIthought

20Nov SS5 Reachingdangerpoint

16Dec SS6 Movingonwithsomestrategy

6Feb2013 SS7 Risingtothechallengesnow

IntellingAlex’sbignarrativeIaminterpretingherconstructionsofselfand

others,ofherlearningexperiencesandofherrelationshipswithherlearning

contextsacrosstimeandspace.WithintheseconstructionsIhaveidentifiedfive

‘big’identitypositions:Englishlanguagelearner/user,student,Translation

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studentandfuturetranslator,oppositionalstudentandfamilymember.

Thesepositionsarevariablyadopted,problematized,linkedtogetheroreven

pittedagainsteachotherasAlexexplainsandnarratesherpastandpresent

experienceandpossibilitiesforthefuture.MyinterpretationofhowAlexcomes

totakeuptheseidentities,andhowtheinterviewtitlesmapontoherEnglish

languagelearnerself,arepresentedbelow.

5.3.2EnglishLanguageLearner/User(ELLU)identity

SS1-AsatisfiedPPlearner

FromtheveryfirstinterviewAlexestablisheshercommitmenttolearningand

studyinginEnglishbecauseofherfirmgoalsinthefieldofEnglishand

Translationandherpersonaldesireto“havesecondlanguagenotjustArabic”

(SS1:1).AlexpresentsherEnglishlanguagelearneridentitytomethrough

expressingherearlyemotionalattachmenttothelanguage:“theimportantthing

isIlovethislanguage”(SS1:4),eventhoughherfirstschoolexperiencewith

learningEnglishinintermediateschoolisnarratedasadiscouragingone.

Whenlookingbackatherschoolyears,Alexdoesnotpresenta‘successful’

learneridentityeitherinthecontextofEnglishasaschoolsubject,orinher

socialandfamilialinteractions:itwaswhenshejoinedthePPatSharifa

universitythatshereallybegantofeelasenseofachievement:

A:Icanspeakwithotherpeople.WhenIwasstarthereincollegeIwasn’tspeakwithanybodyEnglish,anybody,sonowIcanspeak,Icanunderstandthegeneralidea,ifsomeonewanttotalkwithme.Icanwritewell,verywellnow…(A-SS1:8)

Hersatisfactionwithhernewlanguagelearnerselfcanbeunderstoodinher

‘enabling’wordse.g.“Icanspeak”,“Icanunderstand”etc,whichdenotea

positivetransformationinherabilities.Shepresentsheracademiccontextas

fulfillingherlearningneedsandattributeshermoreeffectivelearninggenerally

toclassroominteractionswiththeteacherinEnglishandtomorestimulating

activities.

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AlexconstructsherlearningatthePPasthelearningofEnglishwordsthrough

interactingwithherideaofagoodteacher:

A:…Ifwedon’tunderstandthiswordweaskitinArabic.“WhatdoesthismeaninEnglish”Soshetoldusandwetryasmuchaswecantorememberthiswordandsheaskthiswordanothertimetotheclasssothiswouldbeagoodteacher.(A-SS1:2)

AsaPPlearnerAlexpresentsherselfasfulfillingherconceptualisationofa‘good

learner’:sheattendscloselytotheteacher,askshertoexplainanynewwords

shedoesn’tunderstandandthenreviewsthewordsathome.Alexalsobeginsto

presentabuddingmultilingualidentityinbothacademicandnon-academic

contexts:

A: … the girls here speak someEnglish sowe say theword ‘class’‘vocabulary’ ‘assignment’ ‘project’ ‘leaflet’ some words we say inEnglish we didn’t say it in Arabic but in the home for examplemymothershedon’tspeakEnglishsoIcan’ttellher“Iwenttotheclass”Ishould say it in Arabic you know so this is a little bit different butwhen I talk tomy father I use thisword.And sometimeshe tellme“What’sthisword”becausehedon’tknowitandItoldhim“Itmeansthis”.K:That’sgoodA:Andhewashappythat(because)hedidn’tknowthisword. (A-SS2:14)

Alex’saccountismulti-voiced:firsttherearethecodeswitchingstudentvoices,

thenherhypotheticalutterancetohermother,nextherfather’sinquiringvoice

andfinallyhersinresponse.Sheisnowamemberofabilingualcommunityand

morethanthis:shehasbecomearesourceforherfather’slearning.Alexpositions

herselfasanoccasionalEnglishspeakerathome:“ItalkwithmydadinEnglish

sometimes”andoutsideclass:“ItalkwiththeMissinEnglishoutside(class)

sometimes”(SS1:13).ThusthePPyearsofarismarkedasafavourableperiodfor

theadvancementofAlex’slanguagelearnerself.

SS2-Somecracksinthesystembeginningtoshow

However,Alexalsoindicatessomeunderlyingtensionbetweenherpersonal

expectationsandthoseofherlearningcontext.Firstly,shewasexpectingthe

coursetobemorechallengingintermsofstudyingEnglishinPP1andevenin

PP2,inwhichshehaslearntseveralnewwords,shestillfindsitrathereasy.

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Secondly,althoughshecommendedthefrequentgrouplearningactivitiesthey

doinPP2classes,sheshylybutemphaticallyexpressesherpreferencefor

workingalone.Herreasonisthatothergroupmembersmightnotacceptyour

“uniqueidea”.Thesetensionsareintensifiedinthesecondinterviewtowardsthe

endofthePPyear:whileAlexconfirmsthatsincemid-termexams“weimprove

ourvocabularyandourlisteningandeverything”(SS2:1),shecontinuestoshow

herdislikeofworkingwithherpeers.AsalearnerofEnglish,shestateshermain

aimasaccumulatingmorewordsthrough‘taking’themfrom‘better’girls:

A:IwanttospeakEnglishwithagirl,howIsayittoyou,withagirlsheisbetterthanmeinEnglishbecauseIwanttolearnfromhernotagirlIambetterthanherbecauseOKIwillteachhersomewordsbutIwillnottakesomevocabularyfromher. (A-SS2:7)

Apartfromhavingtoworkwithlessablestudents,Alexcomplainsofthe

difficultiessheandherclassmatesareundergoingintheirPP2Translationclass:

theyhavemovedfromtranslatingatwordleveltotranslatingwholeparagraphs

inanacademicbookonTranslation,writtenbytheprofessorteachingthem.

However,inspiteofsomecrackswhicharebeginningtoshowinSS2,Alex

positionsherlearninginthePPyearasvaluableintermsofherfutureuniversity

studies:“IthinktheimportantisthatIdon’tforgetwhatIlearntinthisyear.It’s

veryimportant”(SS2:8).This‘naïve’orientationtoPPlearningislatergiven

voiceinAlex’s‘BadPP’narrative(A-SmallStory4pp153-155).

SS3-I’vecompletedthePPyearbuthaven’tmovedfar

AftertheendofthePPyearinSS3,Alexshowshercontentmentwithher

excellentfinalresultsinPP2butintermsoflearningmoreEnglishshedoesnot

presentamoredevelopedidentitythanpreviously.Herprogressisexpressedin

moderateterms:“Ihavealotofwordstoremember,Icanspeakwithanyone

morethanwhenIwasinhighschool.It’sgood”(SS3:1).Furthermore,herrather

troubledTranslationstudentidentitytendstoovershadowSS3.Alexreviewsthe

semesterasusefulforimprovinghergenerallanguageskillsbutnotusefulin

Translation.Thisfeelingofnothavingbeenstretchedinameaningfulway

characterisesSS3.

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SS4-ThisboundarycrossingisharderthanIthought

Alexpresentstheboundarycrossingtouniversityasawidegaprequiringan

enormousacademicandsocialstruggle.Inourshort,firstinterviewafterher

transitiontouniversity,twoandahalfmonthsafterSS3,Alexexpressesthe

embarrassinganddebilitatingeffectsofdealingwitha‘new’language:

A:…thereisahugedevelopmentintheuniversity.Theytalkinadifferentway.Theyusedifficultwordthatwedidn’thearitbefore.AndItoldyouthattherearesomegirlsfromthecollegetheyhavebeen2or3yearsincollegesotheyareinourclass.Wedon’tknow.Wescaredtosaysomethingthatmakethemlaughorsomethinglikethat.(A-SS4:1)

NowherpresentationofthePPasaproductivelanguage-learningsiteistoned

down:thePPwasonly“Alittlebithelpful.Alittlebit”(SS4:1).Theyneedtodo

muchmoreintensivelanguagelearninginordertobetterpreparestudents.

SS5-Reachingdangerpoint

Alexenactsabelittledlanguagelearneridentityinhernarrativeoftransitionto

studyingthroughEnglishatuniversity.Herstressedconditioncanbeperceived

throughherexhausteddemeanour,herhigh-pitchedvoice,herfrequentnervous,

ironicexclamationsandlaughteraswellasthroughthecontentofhertalk.While

Iofferencouragement,Alexusestragictermstodescribeherposition:

K:ButIthinkyourEnglishismuchbetterthanwhenIfirstinterviewedyouthefirsttime

A:SurebutincollegeI’mnothing.I’mnothing.(A-SS5:12)

ThetransitionfromusingEnglishininterviewsandstudyingacademicsubjects

throughEnglishisperformedasacriticaloneasAlexexpressesanabrupt

awarenessthatherlanguageisnotuptotherequiredstandard.Nowsheblames

thePP,assheclaimsalltheex-PPstudentsdo,fornotdeliveringontheir

‘promise’topreparethemlinguisticallyandacademicallyfortheirstudiesat

Sharifauniversity:“…IfeelsobadtostudyoneyearhereatthePP.Actuallyallof

thePPgirlssaythat…”(SS5:2).

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Herstateschoolbackgroundalsocomesbacktohauntherasshecomparesher

linguisticabilitywiththatoftheex-internationalschoolstudents.Sheperformsa

collective‘silencing’ofPPgraduates:

A:WhenwesawthegirlstheywerefrominternationalschoolstheymāshāʾAllāhspeakEnglishveryverywellsowecan’ttalkwecan’ttellthedoctororaskhimsomethinginfrontoftheothergirls.(A-SS5:2)

SS5thusrepresentsacriticalexperienceforAlexasanELLU(andasa

university student) and her performance of incapacitation indicates

thatshehasreachedacriticalturningpoint.

SS6-Movingonwithsomestrategy

Alexdoesnotstayat‘pointzero’forlong:withinamonthshepresentsmewitha

ratherdifferentlearningsituationinSS6.Sheismakingaconcertedeffortto

speakupinclassandtowritedowneverythinginEnglish.Ratherthanshowing

anydiscouragementAleximpressesonmeherincreasedmotivationsincethe

PP:

K:InthePPdidyouwritenotesinEnglish?A:NoIdidn’thavethisenthusiasmtolearnEnglishthen.NowIrealisethatIneedtolearnEnglishverywelltoachieveortoreachthegoodgirlsinthisuniversity.(A-SS6:9)

ItisespeciallyintheactivityofgivingapresentationthatAlexlooksfor

advancementinheruseofEnglish.Furthermore,inherexposureto‘models’of

goodEnglishlearninganduseintheuniversityclassroomandinherdesireto

joinheruniversitylearningcommunity,Alexismovedtoconquerhershynessto

speak.Shepresentsthisasachangetoherlanguagelearneridentity:whileshe

constructedherselfasshytospeakinclassinSS5,nowshepresentsherselfas

bolderandmorediscerning.Contrastingherpastandpresentvoices,Alex

reassessesthedistancebetweenthese‘models’andherselfasnotasgreatasshe

hadindicatedpreviously:

K:Sodoyoustillfeelabitshybecause=A:=NonobecauseIhavedifferentstandardstandardsandImustspeaksoIknoweachgirlwhatshesays.InIslamwhenItoldyoualotofgirlstheyunderstandandwhentheypresentIjustlookatthemand

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say“OhIthoughtthatsheisagoodone.”Butit’snotthatgood. (A-SS6:8)

Shealsoshowsthatshehastakenadaringstepintheadvancementofher

languagelearningbychoosingtotaketheAcademicPresentations(APS)course

aheadoftime.Heruseofgrammaticalconstruction:“itshouldbeinFreshman

2…butItookitinFreshman1”(SS6:10)enhancestheexpressionofheragency

ingoingagainstthenorm.

Now,attheendofthefirstsemester,Alexshowshowherstrategyhaspaidoff:

the‘better’girlsinherAPSclassacknowledgethatshehasmadeprogressby

relyinglessonmemorisationandmoreonunderstandingofthesubject,asthey

do:

A:Theyjustunderstandtheidea.Theymemorisesomewordslikeinformationaboutsomeone,youmustmemoriseitsojusttheysaidIstarttodothisthing.Tostarttounderstandthesubject(A-SS6:11)

Usingpronouns‘they’toindextheexpertsand‘I’toindexherselfasnovice,Alex

indicatestheiracceptanceofherintotheirgroupofgirlswhounderstand.Her

repeateduseof“Istartto…”reinforcesherself-presentationasastudent

engagingwithherlearningcommunity.

Followingthis,shegoesontoexplainthatthe“subject”tobepresenteddoesnot

poseaproblemintermsofcontentandthey(‘we’referstoAlexandthe‘better’

students)canfocusonmanipulatingthelanguagefortheirpurposes:

A:Sooursubjectthefinalsubjectwassoeasyandthewordsitwassoeasyforussowecouldunderstanditeasyandchangethewordsandwecouldsayeverything.(A-SS6:11)

Alex’sspeechhererepresentsaturningpointinherlearning:asanovicesheis

nowjoiningtheranksofthe‘expert’students.Hergreatadvancementisnotjust

inunderstandingideasinEnglishbutalsoinmakingnewrelationships,in

expandinghersocialcircleatuniversityandinnotconfiningherselftoherex-PP

friends:“AndIfeltafterAPSyesyesIcanIcanmakerelationshipsinother

courses”(SS6:11).Alex’snew-foundconfidenceisreflectedinherlanguageand

demeanour.Herearlier‘incapacitation’expressedinnegativessuchas“wecan’t

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talk”and“wearenothing”inSS5hasturnedintoexpressionsofself-efficacyas

notedintheabovequotation.Thereisachangeinher‘presence’fromflustered

andoverwhelmedtoengagedandresolved.Asafledglingmemberofthe

universitylearningcommunityitseemsshenowhasatickettoamoresuccessful

learningcareer.

ThisisnottosayhoweverthateverythingisnowplainsailingforAlex.Within

theadvancingselftherearemomentsofsetbacks,whichreflectherstrugglesto

cometotermswithnewwaysoflearning.InComputerStudies(CS)forexample,

theyareexpectedtodoindependentworkwithminimalteacherinstruction:

A…andtheyjustteachusthelecturethentheysay“OKtheassignmentisonBlackboardsosolveitathome.”Sohowcanwesolveit(A-SS6:2)

Usingcontrastingvoices,Alexpresentsherinsecurity,asstillanex-PPlearner,at

havingtorelinquishherrelianceonteacherinstructionandsupport.However,as

shownabove,AlextakesonamorestrategicroleasSS6progresses.

SS7-Risingtothechallengesnow

Inourfinalinterview,inthesecondfreshmansemester,Alexclaimssheisnow

morefamiliarwiththeparticular“system”ofherteachersandthusbetterableto

copewiththechallenginglinguisticdemandsofnotetakinginlectures.Her

concentratedstudyforexamshashelpedherimproveherEnglishconsiderably.

WhilesheassessesherlevelofEnglishasnow“nearlythesame”(SS7:5)asthe

‘better’girls,sheratesherselfaslessabletoparticipateinclass.Effective

“participationwithteachers”(SS7:7)Alexpresentsasimportanttoherasan

ELLUbutasadeficientareainneedofimprovement.

Asshelooksbackwardandforwardalongherlanguage-learningcareer,Alex

performsaricher,morearticulateandcriticallanguagelearneridentity.Now,

herheightenedregretanddisillusionmentoverherpastlearningatstateschool

andintheSharifaPParestrikinglyexpressed(seeA-‘BadPP’narrativepp153-

155).Inherreviewofschoollearningsheusesaninternalmonologueto

communicateherregretthatEnglishwasnotmademeaningfulforher:

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A:…WhenIthinkaboutitIsaytomyself“OKifIhavethissomethinginsidemewhichencouragemetojustunderstandthisonenotonlythewordsthattheytoldustostudyit.IfIhavemore…erm(P)(K:motivation?)motivationtoreadthisortotrytomemorisethisnottomemorisejustfortheexammaybeIwillbebetter.”Theteachersdidnotencourageus.(A-SS7:7)

ShealsocriticisesthePPinthatitdidnotprovidethenecessarylanguage

supporttopreparestudentsforunderstandingandcommunicatingwiththeir

universityteachersintheclassroom.CrossingthelinefromEL2learnertoEL2

userinaclassroomcontextispresentedasanimportantstepatuniversityand

onewhichshemighthaveattainedmorereadily,ifshehadbeenbetterprepared

inanintensivelanguagecourse.

Alex’sdescribesheridealfutureselfasafluentspeakerwithanimpeccable

Englishaccentlikesomeoftheadvancedstudentsinheruniversityclasses.Using

Englishisthuspresentedasalifetimeaimforpersonalandsocialstatus.

AlthoughthereisasenseofmovingforwardinAlex’saccountofherlanguage

learningandanimaginativeleapinherdescriptionofheridealEnglishuserself,

thefinalnarrativeindicatesamodifiedELLUidentity,onethatwillbe

constrainedbyfamilyandculture(seeA-‘IdealandPossibleSelf’narrative-pp

156-158).

5.3.3StudentIdentity

5.3.3.1Alex’sself-presentationasastudent

IhavepresentedphasesofthebignarrativewhichrelatestoAlex’sELLU

identity.NowImoveontoherself-presentationasageneralstudentwhichis

morenarrowinscopethanherlanguagelearnerselfasitisconfinedbythe

requirementsofherspecificeducationalcontext.WhileatthePP,Alexpresents

herselfasamostlyexcellentlyperformingstudent,butatuniversityherstudent

(andELLU)identitiesundergoacriticalstageofadjustment.Atschoolandinthe

PPAlexisprimarilyanEFLstudentbutatuniversityshestrugglestoclaimfor

herselfanidentityasastudentofgeneralacademicsubjectsatanEnglish-

mediumuniversity.However,linguisticproficiencyispresentedassalientin

Alex’sclaimtosuccessasauniversitystudentsothereisconsiderableoverlap

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withherELLUidentity.InmydelineationofAlexasastudent,Ifocusonher

accountsofself-assessmentasastudent,ofobstructiveandfacilitatingteachers

andofbecomingamemberofanewstudentbody.

5.3.3.2Self-assessment

Two,sometimesconflicting,strandscanbeseentodevelopinAlex’sself-

assessmentasastudent:theprivateaspectrelatestoherownjudgementofher

self-efficacy,whilethepublicsideistheacknowledgementofothersusually

throughthegradingsystem.Thediscrepancybetweenheroutstandingresults

andherlimitedlinguisticattainmentinthePPwasmadeclearinSS3.At

universityAlexratesherselfin“themiddle”(SS7:3)because,whileherexam

resultsarecommendable,sheclaimsshehasneithertheknowledgenorthe

vocabularyofthemoreadvancedandex-internationalschoolstudents:

A:Mygradesit’sreallygoodmaybeit’slikethemoralittlebitunderthembutinparticipationinclasstheyunderstandeverythingandI’mnot,Ididn’tunderstandeverythingbutmygradeisgoodmyexamisgood.(A-SS7:3)

ThusherprivatestudentidentityiscloselylinkedtoherELLUidentity.Alex’s

confidenceasastudentseemstorestonherassessmentofherlanguage

proficiencyforcommunicatingwithteachers,forworkingwith‘better’students

inclassandforunderstandingratherthanmemorisingstudymaterial.

Alexpresentsherfirstexperienceoffailureinanexamination(inPhysical

Education)asthelowestpointinherstudentcareersofar.Herpublicstudent

subjectpositioncanbeseeninherexpressionsofconcernforsavingfaceinfront

ofherparentsratherthanasaprivateexperienceoffailure.Eventhoughwe

agreethatPEisnotanimportantsubjectinrelationtoherdegree,Alexbringsup

herfailureonthePEexamtwicemoreinthesameinterviewinthecontextof

keepingthenewsfromherparents.Onereasonwhythisfailureisnotpresented

asaprivateoneisthatshehasembeddeditinher‘BadPE’narrative(A-Small

Story1),inwhichshepositionsthePEteacherasobstructivetoallstudents.

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5.3.3.3Obstructiveandfacilitatingteachers

Therathercomfortable,accommodatingteacher-studentrelationship,which

AlexdescribedaspartofherPPstudentcontext,isnotcontinuedinthe

universityinterviews.Teachersarepresentedasextremelyvariable,eitheras

hostileandthreateningtoheridentityasastudentorasflexibleand

understandingofthelinguisticneedsofex-PPandfreshmanstudents.

Facilitatingteachersarepresentedasactivelymakingallowancesforstudents’

lowlevelofEnglishproficiency.ForexampleMsB,theirBiologyteacher,made

themid-termexameasierforthem:

A:…shetoldus“Ifyouforgotthiswordandyoucan’trememberitbutyouknowitinArabicthenwriteitformeandIwillacceptitasright”(A-SS5:4)

Alexfollowsthis‘goodteacher’accountwithacontrasting‘badteacher’one,

whichInowpresentasSmallStory1.

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SmallStory1(SS5:4-6)The‘BadPE’narrative(seeAppendixA1:330-332)

Thisextended‘badPE’narrativeservestoillustrateanddisplayAlex’spictureofaparticular

“badteacher”andtodramatizetheoutcomesofher‘bad’practices.Itisoneinaseriesof

emotionaloutburstsrelatingtothe‘drama’ofcopingwiththeoverwhelminglinguisticand

studydemandsofherfirstsemesteratSharifaUniversity.Thenarrativeisatragi-comedy:

whileitistoldinanentertainingwaytoheightenitsimpact,theimplicationsofitscontent

arepresentedasserious.Mostimportantlyperhaps,itfunctionsasanoppositionalstoryofa

secondlanguagestudentatanEnglish-mediumuniversity.Alexartfullyandpersuasively

structureshernarrativein4parts.

Part1:Prelude-TheBadPEteacher

Alex’sopening:“ButIhaveadoctor…”(1)alertsmetothisnew,contrasting,teacherstory

afterhershortaccountofafacilitatingteacher.ShedescribesthePEteacheras“sobad”(9)

rathergleefully,asifweareincollusion.Alexdrawsmeinwithtwomoreexaggerated

exclamations:(11,13),whileIpersist(10,14)inaskingforconcretereasonsbehindher

dramaticallystatedaversion.Alexfocusesonher“bad”accentfirst.Shepositionsherteacher

aslackingincredibility:notonlyisherEnglishnotuptothestandardexpectedofanEnglish-

mediuminstructorbutshejustreadsfromtheslidesinclass.Alexmimicstheteacher’svoice

apologisingtotheclassfornotpronouncingEnglishwell(19-21).Althoughtheteacheris

presentedaswillingtoexplaininArabic,Alexemphasisestheteacher’sresponsibility:“She

mustteachusinEnglish”(34).HereAlextakesupasubjectpositionasanEL2student

dependentonherteacherasagoodmodelofproficiencyinEnglish.

Part2:BadPEexam

AlexmovesthenarrativeontothePEexamwhichsheexclaims“wassobadsobadsoBAD”

(36).Thensherevealstheoutcome:“EvenIgotomyadvisorandcried”(37).Theseriousness

ofthesituationisrevealedlaterbutnowthestorybecomesentertainingasAlexpresents

herselfinretrospectasreactinginuncharacteristicallyemotionalfashion:“Istartcrying

[laughs](40)…Ican’tbelievemyself…”(42)butatthesametimeperformsher‘savingface’

subjectpositioninexpressingherreticencetoshowemotioninfrontofherpeers(42-43).

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Shemovesthescenefromexamhalltoadvisor’sofficewhereheradvisor,DrS,takesona

motheringroleandspeaksinahyperbolictone:“WHATHAPPENED”(39)andthen“[ina

loudvoice]Noḥabībī(mydarling)sitdown.Whathappened”(46-47).

Contrastingly,thePEteacherisintractable:“They(theadvisors)talkedtoher(50)/She

didn’t,shedon’thearfromanyone”(51).Anticipatingmysurprise,sheannouncesher

examresult:“ImaginethatIget9outof20”(52).Alex’svoicesinkslowerandlowerasshe

reachestheunhappyclimaxofthestory:“[quietly]Ifailed.Ifailedthemid-termexam”

(54).Althoughthediatribeontheteacherandherexaminationinsomewayvindicates

Alex’sfirst-timefailureinanexam,keepingtheinformationfromherparentsisexpressed

ashermainconcern(56-57).

AlexemphasisesthePEteacher’sunwillingnesstoallowstudentstoimproveontheirmarks

bylettingthemresittheexam,assheclaimsmostteachersdo(59-62,64).Shestructures

herreasonscarefullyforpresentingthePEteacher’sexamas‘bad’:“numberone”(76),the

studentswereconfusedbythehugeamountofinformationtheyhadtoreviewwhichthey

couldnotmakesenseof(72-76),and“numbertwo”(77),theyhadneverencounteredthis

typeofexamquestionbefore(77-78,80,82).However,Alexseemstopresentthesituation

asoneinwhichfinalmarksshouldbenegotiatedbetweenteacherandstudent.

Part3:Examaftermath

NextAlexpositionsherselfasawitness/reporterofaconversationbetweenNour,Alex’s

classmate,andthePE.teacher.Nouractsasthespokespersonforthedisgruntledstudents

andasAlex’soutspokenandprovocativealterego:Nourconfrontstheteacherfornot

improvingstudentgradesbysettingextrawork,asthe‘flexible’teachersdo.WhatAlex

implieshereisthattheteachershouldhavereachedacompromisewithNour.The

teacher’sresponse:

90…“Whenyoufailinthefinalexam91comebacktomeandIwilldosomething”

isnotdeemedanacceptable‘offer’.Nour’sretortisaggressiveandmockinginthemanner

inwhichitparodiesandridiculestheteacher’sresponse:

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Inspiteoftheactionsofthis‘bad’teacher,mostuniversityteachershave

influencedhertobroadenhersphereoflearning:forexample,herAdvanced

CriticalSkills(ACS)teacher’svoiceisdominantinAlex’snarrativesofclassroom

interaction:sheshowshowtheteacherurgesherstudentstoworkonweak

areasoflanguageindependently,andtoalwayswriteintheirownwordsinorder

toavoidplagiarism.TheACSteacheriscreditableinthatAlexpresentsheradvice

andtheacademicskillssheisteachingthemaschallengingbutrelevantand

useful.However,AlexshowssheisnotinterestedininteractingwiththeIslamic

teacher,eventhoughheisdescribedasoneofthefacilitatingones:

92…“WhenIfailinthefinalexam93Iwillcomebacktothisuniversity94whenIgetoutfromher”

Part4:Evaluationandconclusion

Finally,AlexpositionsherP.E.teacherasunfathomable(98).Shechidesherselffornot

trustingincollegehearsayaboutthisteacher.WhenIquestionherfurther,herloud,ironic

voicecondemningtheP.E.teacherisechoedbythewholeuniversitycommunity:

104A:…ASKANYGIRLSincollege[Laughs]105K:Theywilltellyou106A:Theywilltellyou“YesIknowduktūrahH”

Throughoutthenarrative,inordertostrengthenherunderlyingargumentthatshehas

becomethevictimofa‘bad’teacherandher‘bad’exam,Alexplaysthesilentobserverand

reporteranddoesnotspeakasacharacter.Howeverherowncriticalvoicerisesinoutrage

andfallswithquietsignificanceinherperformanceasomniscientnarrator.Ourinteraction

becomesAlex’sforumofprotestandbyusingstructured,persuasivereasoning,ironyand

corroboratingvoicesshesucceedsinconvincingmeoftheplausibilityofherarguments

againstthe‘obstructive’PEteacher.Alexadoptsasubjectpositionofforcefulandcreative

protesterinhersecondlanguage.Theemergingsubtextisthat,innotagreeingtolet

studentsimproveontheirmarks,thePEteacherisnotfacilitatingthemintheirchallenging

transitiontouniversity.Sheisaspokeinthewheelpreventingthesmoothfunctioningof

teacher-studentnegotiation.

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A:somecoursesit’snotinterestingformetoparticipatewithhim.LikeforIslamicIdon’tcarewhetherIspeakwithhimorsayingsomethingwithhim(K:Oh!)Hejustexplaineverything.It’sjustaboutexplaininganddiscussingopinionsinallthereligion[laughs] (A-SS7:6)

HereAlexseemstodelineateherstudentidentityinnarrowterms,rulingout

learningongeneralstudiescourseswhichmustprecedestudyforhermajor,

Translation.Iseeitalsoasshowingadismissiveandindifferentattitudeto

compulsoryreligiouseducation.

5.3.3.4Becomingamemberofanewstudentbody

AlexpresentsherstudentidentityasverymuchpartofthePPcommunityinher

referencestocommonproblemsandsituationsinSS1-SS3.AtuniversityAlex

presentsherselfasheldbackbyherex-PPidentityandherstateschool

backgroundandasagentiveindistinguishingherselffromotherex-PPstudents.

Sheclaimssheisdoingmuchmoreingeneralstudiescourses:she’staking17

creditsthissemester,asopposedtotheir12or13:“Theyaremorecomfortable.

Theyhavemaybe4or5subjectssoit’seasyforthem”(SS5:10).Furthermore,

shehasnegotiatedwithheradvisortolethertakeAcademicPresentations(APS)

asemesterearlyandisalsotakingstepstostudyhermajorinthesecond

freshmansemester,whichAlexclaimsisagainstuniversityrules.

ThetroublingtransitionalfactorsAlexintroducesinSS4centreonherfeelingsof

socialalienationasauniversitystudent.Sheclaimsthatshecannotcommunicate

withthegirlsittingnexttoherinclassbecause“Idon’tknowhowtotalkwith

her”(SS4:5).Nowherclassesconsistofdifferentyeargroupsofstudents,some

ofwhomspeakexcellentEnglish.Althoughshehopestobeabletoworkwiththe

moreproficientstudents,whichisherobjective,thedownsideisthatthese

studentstendtoformcliques.InSS5weseeherasbothadiminishedlanguage

learner(see5.3.2)anduniversitystudent.Alexisfindingtheworktoomuchofa

challengeandishardlyabletocope.Thereisadramaticemphasisoncritical

presenttime:“Nowthisisbad.Thisisthemostbadweekinmylife”(SS5:1).Her

identityasauniversitystudentisincrisis;sheconstructshertroubledstate

usingexpressionsofstagnationandparalysis:

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K:Oh.Sowhatdoyoudowhenyougo{home?}A:{NOTHING}It’sjustIcan’tstudy.I’mstuck.Ican’tstudy.WhenIopenmybookorwhenIopensomethingIfeelthatIcan’tstudyanything (A-SS5:1)

Therepeatednegativesandstaccatorhythmofherspeechreinforcethisinability

tofunctionasa‘normal’student.Thedramaticimpactofherperformanceis

heightenedbyAlex’spreviousself-constructionsasahighachieving,hard-

workingstudent:nowshemustadjustherimageofherselffromhighachieverin

amostlyunproblematicprogramme(“InthePPIthinkeverythingiseasy”SS1:3)

tothatofstrugglingstudentinastillunfamiliar,challengingacademic

environment.

Alexrespondstomyreassuringremarksbymore‘reasonably’discussingthe

merits,forexample,ofherAPSclass:“Yes,Ithinkit’susefulbecauseitintroduce

youtoanothergirls.IthinkIbecomemorebetterinfrontofanotherpeople”

(SS5:2).Withinthetragic‘drama’thenacopingstrategyemerges:gettingto

knowandworkwithmoreadvancedstudentswillhelpAlexintegrateand

functioninhernewlearningcommunity.Alex’sgeneraluniversitystudent

identityandherELLUidentitycometocomplementoneanotherasshestrivesto

jointheranksoftheuniversitybymakinganefforttospeakandworkwithmore

advancedstudents.Sheperformsher‘risk-taking’newidentityinthecontextof

herparticipationinanIslamicclasspresentationinSmallStory2.

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SmallStory2(SS6:6)The‘GoodIslamicPresentation’narrative(seeApp.A2:332-333)ThisnarrativerepresentsaturningpointinAlex’sstudentandlanguagelearningcareer

afterthecriticalperiodofhertransitiontouniversity.Asanarrativeof‘identityrepair’,

itisadisplayofAlexusingstrategytojoinhernewlearningcommunitybyconquering

hershynesstospeakEnglishandbyshowingthatshehasunderstood,ratherthan

memorised,therelevantstudymaterialinaclasspresentation.Alexconstructsherstory

asareplayofherpresentationinanIslamicclassandshepositionsherselfasboththe

self-consciousprotagonistandtheappraiserofheractions.Inherdisplayofanewvoice

thenarrativeactsasaperformancewithinaperformance.However,Iamnotapassive

audience:Icontributetothetellingandwebothshareinthejoyoftherelived

experience.

Firstofall,thewayAlexdrawsupthecharactersandtheeventsisinamoment-by-

momentperformanceoftherecentclassroomexperience.Afterestablishingthesetting

inline4,shequicklymovesontoaself-praisingevaluationofherpresentation,

delineatingtheeventasoneofself-accomplishment.Inhernarrationsheistheinitiator

ofeachstageoftheaction(8,11,16,20,21,22,25),sothatshepositionsherselfasagent,

astheonewho‘acts’toachievesuccess.Alexisarisk-taker,astrategistandafledgling

universityclassroommemberwhoisbeginningtoknowtheropes.

TheothercharactersinthestoryareherclassmatesandherIslamicStudiesteacher.Her

classmatesarelistenersonlyanditisamarkofherpresenceasaspeakerthattheystop

talkingtolistentoher.Sheshowsawarenessofheraudience:“Ihopethattheyfollow

me”(15).InSS5Alextoldmethattherewere45-50studentsinherIslamicclasswho

weremostlyallproficientinEnglishsothatshealwaysfelttooshytospeakoutinclass.

Thismakesherachievementhereseemevenmoreimpressive.Italsodevelopsher

fledglingidentityasafunctioningSharifauniversitystudent.TheIslamicteacheris

presentedasdistantlyencouraging(20)andAlexsuggests,throughhermonitoringvoice

(23),thathewaspleasedbyherperformance.Herdisplayofunderstandingis

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meaningfulwhenseeninthecontextofAlex’sreportofthesameteacher’sadvicetothe

classbeforetheirmid-termexam:““Ifyouunderstandthisidea…youwillbeanswering

well.”(SS6:5).Echoingthisadvice,Alexassuresmewhensheintroducesthestory:“I

understandtheideas”(10);bytheendshehasprovedherselftoherteacher:“Ishowed

himthatIunderstandtheidea”(25).Herfinalaccomplishmentisthatsheisevenableto

expandonherpre-plannedtalk(22).

Alex’sactionsareshowntobepowerfullyguidedbytheteacher’simpliedvoice,asifshe

hasachecklist:speakloudly(11),don’tjustmemoriseyourtalk(22),don’treadfromyour

notes(16)andmakeeyecontactwithyouraudience(19).Thesearehercriteriafora

successfulpresentationandshepraisesherselfassheaccomplisheseachone.

Interestingly,Alexonlyfleetinglymentionsthesubject-matter(27)inresponsetomy

question(26),butfocusesmainlyonthemechanicsofpresentation.Shepositionsherself

asalanguagelearneranduser,inthesenseofunderstandingandspeakingEnglishwell

enoughforthedemandsofthepresentationtask.Howevershealsoalertsmetoher

novicepositioninthegroup:“Becauseyouknower-rjustIdotheer-rconclusion”(8).

Withregardstotheinteractionalaccomplishmentofthestory,Alexasnarratorguidesmy

reactionseverystepoftheway:atfirstshejoyfullyshowssurprisethatsheexceededher

expectationsandIreactwithpleasureatAlex’sachievementafterthedarknessofSS5.

Whensheperformsherexperienceoftheevent(11-22)Iamcarriedalongbyher

newfoundself-efficacyandechoherpraises.

HernarratorselfseemssurprisedtohearAlexspeakingoutloudandIcontributetoher

headyperformanceofholdingaraptaudience:

11A:…sowhenIstarttalksuddenlymyvoiceitwasloudlyyes12andwhenthegirlsstoptalking[laughing]13K:[Laughing]Theywerelisteningtoyou14A:Yes[loudlyandhalf-laughing]soIwasscaredinmyself

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ThusinSS6Alexappearstohavemademanysocialadjustmentsandtoenjoy

workingwithmoreadvancedgroups.However,shestillpresentsherattemptsto

adapttonewwaysoflearningandstudyingasproblematic.Balancingstudiesof

difficultacademicsubjects,becominglessdependentonteacherexplanation,

takingnotesinclasswhilelisteningtotheteacherandrelyingmoreon

understandingthanmemorisationarelinguisticandacademicprocesseswhich

Alexclaimsshefindschallengingandexacting.Furthermore,Alex’sexpressed

disengagementasastudentofgeneralstudiesispresentedasaresultofher

enforcednegationofherTranslationstudentidentity,whichIexaminenext.

5.3.4.Translationstudentidentity/futuretranslator

5.3.4.1TranslationandEL2learning

FromourveryfirstinterviewAlexdelineatesherselfintellectuallyand

emotionallyasabuddingTranslationstudentwithfurtheracademicandeven

professionalambitionsinthefield.Herexpressedloveoftranslation,asaprocess

andanacademicsubject,linkscloselywithAlex’slanguagelearnerself,

particularlyinherpresentationsofTranslationstudiesinthePP,whichshesees

Inthisnarrative,Alexclaimsforherself,forthefirsttime,apositionasvalidatedEnglish

speakerinanEnglish-mediumclassroom.Inshowingunderstandingofanacademic

subjectsheplacesherselfontheroadtosuccessintermsofherlearningcontext.

Howeverhersuccess,althoughsignificant,isperformedastentativeindicatedbyher

nervousemotionandherover-praisingofself(fourtimesinsixteenlines).Ananalysisof

thissmallstoryindicatesthatAlex’sclaimtoestablishingaspaceforherselfinauniversity

classroomisnotasconfidentasherappraisingselfprofesses.Thisnarrativealsoevokes

thewidereducationalcontext:oneinwhichhighschoolgraduateswhohavelearnttheir

limitedEnglishinSaudistateschools(‘governmentEnglish’)areexpectedtostudy

academicsubjectsthroughthemediumofEnglishatuniversity.Alexindicatesthatthe

advancedlanguagelevelrequiredisnottheonlyobstaclebutthatunfamiliarclassroom

practicesarealsohurdlestobeovercomeinordertodevelopasuccessfuluniversity

studentandELLUidentity.

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asanopportunitytolearnEnglishvocabulary.Althoughcomplicationsarisein

SS2andSS3,duetodifficultiesencounteredwithTranslationworkinPP2,Alex

holdsoutandsustainsherpositionasTranslationstudentagainstallodds.Inher

freshmanyear,Alex’sidentityclaimsarefrustratedandincompromisingher

Translationstudentidentity,shebecomesdisillusionedwiththeuniversity

institutionanddevelopsanoppositionalself.Likewise,inherfutureself-

narrativeattheendofSS7,hertranslatoridentity,whichisreflectedinher

consistentgoaltobeaprofessionaltranslator,ispresentedasasiteofself-doubt

andseemscompromisedbyfamilialandculturalrestrictions.

InthefirstrecordedinterviewAlexlinksEnglishlearningtoherprimarygoalof

studyingTranslationandconstructsherselfasaTranslationstudentwhoenjoys

thechallengesandproceduresoftranslatingbetweenArabicandEnglish.

K:OKandwhatdoyoufindaretheeasiestthings.Whatiseasyforyou.A:Translation[laughs].Ilikeitalot.Whenthedoctorasksusto translatesomethingIwillbesohappy.

K:Youfindthateasydoyou? A:Yes.It’snotsoeasybecauseIdon’tknowallthewordsbutIlove whenIopenthedictionaryandIfindthiswordandthemeaningandso... (A-SS1:3)

Shetellsmeshehasthreedictionariesathomeandifshecan’tfindawordshe

asksherfather;onlyasafinalresortdoessheaskherteacher.ThusAlex

constructsherselfasaTranslationstudentbothatthePPandathome.According

toAlexitistheprocessoftranslationwhichfacilitatesvocabularylearning.She

remembersalotofnewwordsshelearntinPP1Translation“becausewe

translatealittlestory”and“Whenyoutranslatesomethingsureyouwillnotbe

abletotranslateallthewordsbutyoulearnalotofwords…(SS1:11).

5.3.4.2ProblemswithTranslation

ThesecalmwatersbecomesomewhatdisturbedinSS2asshehesitatinglytells

meabouttheTranslationproblemthewholeclassencounters“becausethe

doctorwhoteachushe’saprofessorsowhenheteachusweshouldstudyhis

book”(SS2:2).AlexcontraststhisbookwiththetexttheyusedwithherPP1

Translationteacherwhichwas“likeastoryforamovieandwewasexciting.Now

Itranslateascientificbooksoit’sboringit’sveryboring”(SS2:3).Shealsobrings

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upthemethodoftranslationasbeingthesourceofdifficulty:inPP1“we

translatewordforword”whereasthis‘doctor’focusesonthewholeparagraph

“sothisisdifficultforus.”(SS2:3).

Althoughsheuses‘we’and‘us’toexpresstheseproblems,Alexisquickto

separateherselffromotherswhohavechangedtheirmajorduetodifficulties

withtheTranslationprofessorwhilesheremainspersonallycommittedtothe

subject.InherreviewofherPPyearinSS3shecontinuestopositionherselfasa

Translationstudent,albeitinconflictingterms:althoughshepresentsher

primaryachievementaslearning:“thebasicthingsortheimportantthingsin

EnglishfortheTranslationdepartment”(SS3:1),shealsoclaimsthatthePP2

semesterwas“notusefulformeinTranslation”(SS3:4).Alexremindsmeof

difficultiesofstudyingwiththeTranslationprofessorinPP2andthisactsasa

preludetothe‘BadIncidentintheBookstore’narrative,whichisSmallStory3.

SmallStory3SS3:1-2The‘BadIncidentintheBookstore’(App.A3:333-334)

InthisnarrativeAlexrelatesanincidentinwhichsheandherfellowPP2students

hadtheirTranslationassignmentdonebysomeoneworkinginabookshopbecause

theyfoundittoodifficulttodothemselves.Ifocusontheperformative,structural,

functional,positionalandlinguisticfeaturesofthenarrativeinordertothrowlight

onthetelling,onAlex’sevaluationofthenarrativeeventandonstrategiessheuses

todrawupsubjectpositionsininteractionwithme.Ourratherslowcommunication

andtheclumsyexecutionofthenarrativecanpartlybeattributedtothe‘distance’of

ourSkypeconnection.HoweverAlex’stellingcanbeseenasstrategicandpalatable

for heraudience:itisrevealedslowlyandcautiously,withlittleemotionordrama,

andispresentedasthreepartsjustificationtoonepartnarration.

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Alexintroducesthenarrativeasacriticalincident(12)butintheprocessof

interactionher‘spoiled’identityissomewhatrepairedorratherco-repaired.She

appearstoevadeaclearexplanationofwhattookplaceandfocusesinsteadon

lengthyjustifications(14-21,29-34),whichemphasisethecollectivenatureofthe

action.Alexchangessubjectpronounfrom“I”to“we”throughout.Whileretaininga

competentpublicstudentself(38)sheemphasisesherownextensivebutfrustrated

effortstoexecutethetranslationtasktothebestofherability(15-20).However,itis

“we”whocommittedtheact(7,8,22,26)because“we”foundtheassignmentfartoo

difficult(14,21).ThusAlex’suseofpronounsfunctionstoabsolveher‘self’of

individualagencyinacollectivejustification.WhatAlexmissesoutofhernarrativeis

informationaboutwhotookthedecisionandwhatthecircumstanceswereofthe

studentvisittothebookshop.

Alex’snarrativeperformanceisrecipient-designedandreliesonknowledgefrom

previousinteractions.Shedeliberatelyrefersmetoherformercomplaintsabout

thePP2TranslationteacherinSS2:“Itoldyouthatbefore”(3)andpreparesme

fortheeventbynegativelyevaluatingboththedevelopmentoftheproblem

beforethetellingbegins:“itgetinabadway”(6)andtheeventitself:“Thisis

somethingbad”(12).

WhenIaskAlextoexplainsheagainavoidsnarratingtheeventitselfbutfocuses

onthelead-uptoit,whichactsasherinitialjustification.Shemakesthis

convincingbyreferringfirsttoamuchshorterassignment(15)whichhadtaken

heralongtimetocomplete(16)andthenhighlightsthelengthofthis

assignment(6pages)(19-20).Itisnotuntillines26and27thatAlexbrieflyand

clearlytellsmewhattheydidandIfinallyunderstand.Shepinpointsthe

difficultyasthecomplexwordsinthetext(33)andmyshowofmutual

understandinglendsweighttoherjustification.

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5.3.4.3NotaTranslationstudent

AlexseemstoseelittlerelevancetoTranslationinhergeneralcourses;only“ACS

willhelpmewithTranslationbecauseIwilltranslatefromArabictoEnglish”

(SS4:3).Twomonthslater,however,inSS5,IsenseAlex’sfrustrationand

resentmenttowardsinstitutionalarrangementswhichdictatethatshewill

continuetakinggeneralcoursesinthesecondsemester:

K:…Doyoufeelbadbecauseyou’renotstudyingyourmajor?

Inthefinallines(37-43),onmyIninstigation,Alexchangesorientationandreports

onherexcellentperformanceintheTranslationexamination,whichreducesthe

criticalimpactofthenarrative.This,coupledwithheropeningstatement(1-2),

suggeststhattheincidentisanisolatedonethatdoesnotsignificantlythreatenher

successfulstatusasastudent.Ininteractionwithme,Alexcanbeseentodrawupa

subjectpositionasastillcompetentstudentwhocollaboratedonaninevitable

‘guiltyact’.Atthesametime,amoreprivateidentityalsoemergesinherlead-up

account(15-20),inwhichshereflectsonherstrugglewithacademictranslation.Itis

throughheruseofrepetitionandparallelisms(29-34),thatAlexemphasisesthese

‘private’difficultiesandthisactsasaforetasteofherproblemsindealingwith

academiclanguageafterhertransitiontouniversity.Thusshifting,contradictory

subjectpositionscanbeseentoemergeinourco-constructionwhichofferinsights

intoAlex’sidentitytrajectory.

Intermsofwiderdiscourses,AlexpositionsherselfasanEL2learner(e.g.inher

searchforalternativewordsfor‘difficult’)whoislearningtobecomeastudentat

anEnglish-mediumuniversity.Thehurdlesshemustovercome,suchascomingto

gripswithacademicEnglish:“it’snotwordsIuseiteveryday”(33),andamore

independentstyleoflearning:“it’stoohardforustotranslateitourselves”(14),are

reflectedinhernarrative.Alsoshepositionsherselfwithinasystemofteacher-

studentrelationshipsinwhichstudentsresorttocheatinginordertobesuccessful

whenotheroptionssuchasstudent-teacherconsultationareperhapsunavailable.

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A:Yes.IwentevenfortheplanintheTranslationdepartment,buttheytoldmeifIwanttostudyTranslationforexampleIntroductiontoTranslationImustsignapaperthatI’mresponsibleforthisandtheuniversitytoldmethatIcan’tdoitbutIdidit.(A-SS5:3)

Alex’saccountemphasisesheragencyingoingagainsttheinstitutional

programmeinordertostudyTranslationthefollowingsemesterbypittingher

“I”and“me”against“they”and“theuniversity”.Lateronintheinterview,

however,afterwehavediscussedherproblemswithcoursesandteachers,she

appearstobackdown:“ButIfeelscaredwhentheytoldmethatIneedtosign

thispaper.IfeelthatIcandothisthing?Ornot?I’mnotsure”(SS5:10).Sowhile

AlexpresentsherselfasdifferentfromotherPPstudentswhodonotwantto

studytheirmajors,hermotivationtoachievehergoalismitigatedbyheranxiety

overstandingaloneagainstthesystem.Alexpresentsheridentityasa

Translationstudentassuppressedandproblematizedintermsofherstated

goals,heractionsandhersenseofacademicself.Noweventheprocedureof

translatingwords,whichwaspresentedasasourceofpleasureinthefirstand

secondinterviews,hasbecomeproblematicbecausestudyingacademicsubjects

throughthemediumofEnglishistime-consuminganddifficult:“…butnowifI

wanttotranslateeverythingitwilltakealotoftimesoIstoppeddoingthis

thing”(SS5:12).

AlexpresentsherArabicidentitytomeaspartofherlinguisticandacademic

capitalasatranslationstudentand,asIkeepremindingher,isapositiveresultof

hereducationataSaudistateschool.Shepositionstheex-privateschoolstudents

asweakinArabicduetotheirschoolinginEnglishandherselfasproficient:“I

wasgoodinArabiceveninhighschool.IwasverygoodinArabic”(SS6:10).In

ordertoillustrateherpointshepresentsadialoguebetweentheArabicteacher

andtheex-privateschoolstudentsinwhichtheteacherchidesthemfortheirlack

ofArabic:“OhyouareArabicpeople…youshouldknowyourlanguage”(SS6:10).

TheyblametheirprivateschoolingfortheirpoorknowledgeofClassicalArabic

vocabulary.AlexpositionsherselfhereasasuperiorAL1speaker,contrarytoher

usualinferiorself-positioningasanEL2speaker.

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DuringherPPyear,shehadanticipatedstudyinghermajoratuniversitywith

enthusiasm.Nowshesadlydeclares:“IamnotaTranslationstudentyouknow”

(SS7:1).Sheconveysherembarrassmentwhenaskedbyothersabouther

Translationstudiesandfeelscompelledtolieinordertosaveface:

A:…Ireallyfeelembarrassedwhensomebodytoldmethat“HowareyoudoinginTranslation”Ican’ttellthem“OhIdidn’ttakeanycourseinTranslation”(K:yeah)soItoldthem“Ohit’sfine”[K&Alaugh]“I’mdoingwell.”Soit’sreally,Idon’tknow.ThisiswhatI’mlikenow.Idon’tlikethat. (A-SS7:1)

Alexperformsheridentity‘trouble’effectivelythroughusingconflictingvoicesin

thisshortnarrative.Sheisencouragedtodevelopher‘liar’narratorpositionby

ourmutualexpressionofamusementbutsheevaluateshercurrent‘hijacked’

Translationstudentidentityherewithdispleasureanddisbelief.Thefinaltwo

statementsdeclaringhercurrentpositionasunhappy‘deceiver’indicateher

investmentinbothapublicandprivateTranslationstudentidentity.

5.3.4.4Futuretranslatoridentity

Inherconstructionofherfuture,imaginedselfattheendoftheinterview,Alex

presentshergoalstodoamaster’sinTranslationandtoworkasatranslatoras

somewhatthwartedbyfamilyandculturalexpectations.Atfirstheridealself

wishesforrecognitionofexcellenceintranslationandimaginesothersadmiring

herworkandsaying:“Ohyouarereallygoodinthisit’sreallyyourdepartment.”

(SS7:10).Eventhejobitselfhastobeahigh-levelonesothatothersdonotsay:

“Ohsheworkasatranslatorinsomecompanyandit’sanordinaryjob”(SS7:10).

Usingvoicesofacknowledgementbolstersherpublictranslatorself.

Ontheotherhand,Alex’sprojectedprofessionalidentityasatranslatorinabig

companyiscalledintoquestionbyherexpressedfeelingsofdoubtabouther

abilitiesandself-efficacy.Shepositionsherselfasmyinformantonthe

complexitiesoftranslatingbetweenArabicandEnglish:

A:…It’snotalwaysyoufollowtherulesyouknow.SometimesyoumustchangesomethingstofollowthecultureofArabicnottheculture(P)(K:thestyle)yesthestyleorthesystem(K:yesexactly).

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SoIdon’tknowmaybeifIwasn’tthislevelIdon’tknowactually (A-SS7:10)

Thisisafarcryfromtheemotionallyattached,comfortablerelationshipwith

Translationshepresentedintheearlyinterviews.Inspiteofagreaterfocuson

itscomplexities,AlexconsistentlyappropriatesTranslationas“mydepartment”,

inherspeech.

Howeverrealitycreepsinatthispointinheraccountwhenshebringsinthe

possibilityofgettingmarriedbeforegraduation.Herdesiretodohermaster’s

andthenworkasatranslatoralldependsonherfuturehusband’swishes.When

IbringupthescenarioofworkingwithmenAlexshiftsherpresentationofher

futureselfsomewhat:nowshepresentsherintentiontoworkasatranslator

fromhome,asshewouldbeexpectedtomarryafellowPalestinianwhowould

notallowhertoworkoutsidethefamilyhome.Alexoverridesmyquestioningto

‘defend’herselfandtoloudlyandfirmlyjustifyherpositionofgenderconformity

whilestillretaininghertranslation“department”identity.Inthisimaginedactof

compromisewithherculturalidentity,Alexshowsmeyetanotherconstraintto

thefulfilmentofhertranslatorsubjectposition.

5.3.5Oppositionalstudentidentity

Asalanguagelearnerandcollegestudent,Alexbecomesquitefiercelycriticalof

herlearninginstitution,particularlyofthePP.HeranimositytowardsthePP

buildsaftertransitiontouniversityandbecomesparticularlybitterinthefinal

interview.Likewise,herfreshmanyearisseen,inthesameinterview,asonethat

standsinoppositiontoherfutureself.Theantagonismsheshowstowardsthe

institutionsseemstobepartofamuchbroaderconflict:thatbetweenherselfas

agentandthe‘wall’ofsocialstructurewhichsheseemstomeetateverycorner.

InheridentityperformanceAlexpitsherpersonal,academicandprofessional

goalsanddesiresagainstthesocialrestrictions,economicconcernsandcultural

andfamilialconstraintsofherenvironment.

Inpreandpost-interviewconversationsAlex’soppositionalstudentidentity

emergesmuchearlier.Inourpre-SS2conversation,forexample,Alexcomplains

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abouthavingtopurchaseexpensivecoursebookswhenteachersonlycoverafew

oftheunits:“Webuybooksforwhat.For2units?”(pre-SS2conversation-FN:1).

Thisabrupt,staccato,accusatorydiscoursestyleisrarelyusedintheinterviews

exceptinherangrydiatribeagainstthePPinourfinalinterviewonasimilar

economictheme.AlexdoesnotblamePPteachersbutpositionsthemaspawnsof

thesystem.Themaineconomicissue,thatasanon-Saudisheisnoteligiblefora

Saudigovernmentscholarship,isalsospelledouttomeinourpre-SS2

conversation.This‘backstage’pieceofinformation,whichAlexmighthavebeen

reticentaboutrevealinginanearlyinterview,ispresentedwithdramaticforcein

SS5andSS7.

Alex’sresentmenttowardsthePPisexpressedinthecontextofthedifficult

transitiontouniversitystudy.Sheforegroundsherdeepregretover‘wasting’her

pastyearinthePPinsteadofdoinglanguagecoursesoutsidetheuniversityand

explainsthatshedidnothavethisoptionbecauseshewouldonlybeguaranteed

auniversityplaceifshepassedthePPyear.AlexdirectsherblameatthePPina

seriesofemotionaloutburstsexpressingregretandanger:

A:BecauseerrIgivehim40,000(Saudiriyals).It’slostintheair. K:Really?[withconcern].Youthinkit’sawasteofmoney. A:Yes.[Angrily]alotofmoney. (A-SS5:2)HereAlexgivesvoicetohereconomicconcernsforthefirsttimeinarecorded

interview.Iseekagaintotemperheremotionalperformancebyaskingherfor

constructivecriticismofthePP.Atfirstsheseemstooupsettoreasonwithme,

thensheadmitsthatthePPpreparedthemforessaywriting,forcollege-type

examsandhelpedthemwithtime-management:“Butit’snotenough,it’snot

enough”(SS5:2).Inherseconduniversitysemester,Alexisstillfindingitdifficult

toadapttothelinguisticdemandsofherstudiesandourinterviewforumhas

becomeasettingforvoicingherproteststomeasan‘outsider’researcherand

increasinglyasherconfidante.Alex’sdiatribeagainstthePPintensifiesinour

finalinterviewandshedevelopsapowerfuloppositionalvoiceinSmallStory4.

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SmallStory4(SS7:7-9)The‘BadPP’narrative(AppendixA4:334-336)Inthisemotionallychargedargumentativenarrative,embeddedinherfinalinterview,

AlexexpoundsonherdiatribebycastingthePPasadeceptivevoiceluringnaïvestudents,

herselfincluded,intospendingayearattheinstitutionpreparingforuniversity.Alex

positionsherselfbothasapast,dupedPPstudentandapresent,moreenlightened,but

resentfulone,inordertohighlighthermoralandevaluativestancetowardsthe

institution.SheactsoutthevoiceofthePP,whichhadsucceededindupingherand

otherprospectivestudents:

65theygiveusthepicturethat[feigningconcern] 66“itwillreallyhelpyouwhenyouenterthecollege” 67andyoufeelit’sbetter(K:mmm)

Itakeupapositionasdefenderoftheinstitutionbyreinforcingandsupportingtheiraims

sothatAlex’sspeakingpositionbecomesoneofcontestingboththe‘duplicitous’

institutionalvoiceinherstoryworldandofcounteractingmyargumentsinour

interactionalworld.Usingstrategicarguments,sheconvincesme,assomeonewhohas

notexperiencedthe‘deception’,thatIamwrongoneachofmypoints.

Afterherinitialmelodramaticoutburstof“hate”towardsthePP,perhapsencouragedby

mylaughter,Alexquietlyandpoignantlyreflectsonher‘loss’:

6A:[quietly]It’sawholeyear7it’sgonefrommeyouknow

WiththismetaphoricalturnofphraseAlexdrawsmeintotheseriousnessofthe

situation:thePPhasturnedouttobeaverypoorinvestmentinherlanguagelearning.

ShetakesmebacktothetimeshestartedthePPcourseandactsoutthepretentious

voiceoftheinstitution,advisingstudentsoftheadvantagesofstudyingatthePP(17-18).

Sheswiftlycontradictstheiradvice(20-21).Icontestherstatedviewthatthe“system”

(33)ofthePPis“reallywrong”(35)byplayingdevil’sadvocateandproducetheofficial

aimsofthePP(37-43)inaformal,impersonalstyle.

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Alexcountersmypointsoftimemanagementcomingtoclassontimeandmeeting

deadlinesandrejectsmyposition:“…it’snotnecessarytoteachusthat”(49).Shegivesme

apersonalexampleofPPdeception:sherelatesaconversationshe,asa‘figure’inher

story,hadwithsomeonewhotoldherthat,sinceshehadscoredover90%inthePP1

exam,shecouldmissoutPP2altogetherandgostraighttouniversity.Inherpastnaïve

voicesherejectedthis(73-74)becausethePPhadconvincedherthattheirstudentshadan

advantageoverthosewhowentstraighttouniversityaftergraduatingfromhighschool.I

againpositionmyselfassupportiveofthePPandmydisagreementwithAlexreachesa

head:

81K:Butthatshouldhelpyou82A:It’snotnecessary

WhenIinquireifAlexhassharedheropinionwithherparents,shebringsinthevoiceof

herfather,whosheimagineswouldbehorrifiedifsheweretodisclosethe‘deception’to

him:

105hewillfeel[withintensity]“OhmyGodyouwasteallthat money! 106Andyouknowthissemesteryougivehim20,000(SaudiRiyals) 107Fortheyear40,000”Alexdrawsonpatriarchaldiscourses,inthesensethatsheisindebtedtoherfatherforhis

hugefinancialinvestmentinhereducation.Then,insolidaritywithherfather,Alex

‘overlaps’herfather’svoicewithherowninaseriesofratherdesperatebutchiding

rhetoricalquestions,addressedtothe‘villainous’PP,whichmakethenegotiationofher

learningseemliketheactofsquabblingoverpriceswithsellersinthemarket-place(109-

110).

109“yaʿnīfor40,000whatyougivemeforinformation 110YoulearnmeessayOK.Andthenwhat”Byincorporatingherfather’simagineddiscourseshecanmorefirmlyprotestagainstthe

speakingpositionofthepersonifiedPP,whorepresentsthe‘evil’establishmentintheir

exploitationofdedicatedbutnon-Saudistudents.Interestingly,inthecontextofthestory

world,onlyhermotherhearsheropposingargumentsbutisnotgivenavoice.

155

Alex’soppositiontoSharifaUniversityislessdirectlyexpressed,certainlyina

moreunderstatedmanner,thaninher‘attack’onthePP.WhenIaskherabout

herunderstandingoftheuniversitysystemshepositionsherselfasopposingthe

systemoffreshmenonlytakinggeneralcoursesinthefirstyear:“…it’smy

opinion,thatit’sridiculoustowasteawholeyearwithoutdoinganythingofmy

department”(SS7:1).ThusonreflectingbackoverthePPandonherfreshman

yearsofar,Alexconstructsbothasnotprovidingherwithareturnonher

father’sinvestment.

AlexcontinuestopersonifythePP/Universityasthevillainwhohascheatedherand

herfatherandinherfather’sintensevoicesheexclaims:

113“OhmyGod!Howwefollowthem114orhowwejustlistentohim”

Theninaconspiratorialtoneofvoiceshecontinuestoderidetheinstitutioninan

asidetome(115-117).IfeelAlexhasgonetoofarinheranti-institutionalcriticisms

andwearenolongeralignedinourinteractionsoIinterrupttochangethedirection

oftheinterview.

Alex’sstrongoppositionalvoiceshowsherhighmotivationasanEL2learnereagerto

accruelinguisticcapitalbutalsohereconomicconcernsoverthepaymentoffeesasa

non-Saudi.Sheisthuspositionedasdisadvantagedbyheroutsiderstatusandthis

resentmentcomesthroughinheremotional,almosthostile,rhetoricalquestioningof

thePPandherconspiratorialsuggestionswhichfollow.Thesituationofourfinal

interview,inwhichAlexspeaksfromthevantagepointofan‘enlightened’university

student,providesherwiththeopportunitytovoiceherresistancetothePPinstitution

withcreativityandpassion.Heraccomplishmentasimaginativenarratorandable

arguerbuildsAlex’sidentityasanEL2speaker.

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Alexalsoexpressescontradictoryviewsoftheuniversitycomparedwithhigh

school.AttheendofSS5shepresentsherdilemmaofwhethersheshouldmove

touniversityinJordanorremainatuniversityinSaudiArabiainthe‘Jordan’

narrative,whichisSmallStory5.Interestingly,Alexnevermentionsthenameof

thecountry(SaudiArabia)inhercriticisms,evenwhencomparinguniversities

withthoseinJordan.

SmallStory5(SS5:15-16)The‘Jordan’narrative(AppendixA5:336-338)Afterherperformanceofaselfweigheddownbytheacademicandlinguistic

demandsofthetransitiontouniversity,Alexintroducesandreflectsonapossible,

alternative,‘better’worldinwhichtofulfilherstudentidentity.Shepresentsher

dilemmaasanargumentwithherselfinwhichsheweighsuptheprosandconsof

beingauniversitystudentinJordan.Hernarrativeisalsorecipient-designed,asher

purposeistofurthermyunderstandingofhersituationintermsofthepossibilities

andconstraintsofherculturalandfamilialcontext.Onecandetecttheconflict

betweenAlex’sstudentandfamilymembersubjectpositions,butmorethanthis:

Alex’sambivalentethnicidentityandheroppositionalgenderidentity,largelyinvisible

inherbignarrative,emergeandareperformedformeasaspectsofherdilemma.

ThecharactersofAlex’sbrotherandhergirlfriendwhoattenduniversityinJordanand

Palestinerespectively,representArabstudentswhoappreciatethefreedomof

studyingintheoutsideworldwhereasherfather,motherandgrandparentsrepresent

therestrictive,conservativeworldofherfamilyculture.Shepositionsherselfas

caughtinthemiddlebetweenthetwo:sheaspirestoachieveabettereducationina

morerelaxeduniversityenvironmentthanherpresentonebutisconstrainedby

culturalexpectationsandherownconflictedethnicidentity.Byusingreportedand

directspeechAlexvoiceshercharacters’pointsofviewandatthesametime

positionsherunstablevoicewithintheirmoreestablishedvoices.Incontrasttothe

assurancesofherbrotherandfemalefriendthatuniversitylifeisverydifferentfrom

highschoolinJordan,Alexclaimsshehasnotexperiencedthisdifference‘here’:

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7A:…Ican’tcomparebecauseweare8youknowsomethinglikehighschool9youfeelthatyouare{inalimitedplace}

Shegivesmetwoexamplesofspecificrestrictions:gendersegregationandenforced

confinementwithintheuniversitycampus.ThewordsAlexusesindicateanegative

orientationtowardssuchrestrictionse.g.“youcan’tjustgetoutwhereveryouwant”

(11).ThiscontraryviewoftheSaudistudentexperiencebringsAlexontoher

dilemma:shouldshestudyinJordanorstay‘here’?Shedrawsmeinbyremindingme

thatshehastoldmeonpreviousoccasionsthatherfatherwantshertostudythere

(22-23).

Nowshepresentsherdilemmainstrategicfashionbyfirstgivingtheadvantagesof

thehigherqualityofuniversityeducationinJordan(26-29)andthenthe

disadvantagestoherstudentselfifshelivedwithhergrandparentswhileatuniversity

there.Alexmakesitcleartomethatshewouldnothaveachoice:“youknowImust

beintheirhome”(34).Thisfamilyrestrictionisseenashavingsignificant

repercussions:shewouldhavetoentertainvisitorsanddothehouseworkforher

grandmother(37-38)andsheconfidesinhermotherthatshecouldnotfulfilboth

familyandstudentobligations.

WhenIproposeasolution,thatshestudyandlivewithherbrotherinJordan,Alex

correctsmyculturalmisunderstanding:herbrotheractuallylivesinthesamebuilding

ashergrandparentsandhasobligationstowardsthem.Herfather’scommanding

voiceonthephoneordersherbrotherto“dothisdothisdothis”(42)andtheir

grandparents’voicesmakedemandsonhistime(56).Fromherbrother’scurrent

situationAlexenvisionsherownwhichsheseesasevenworseduetohergender

identity:

64A:Oh,it’shard 65veryhardformebecauseI’magirlAlexalsoshowsaconflictedethnicidentityinthisextract.Shepresentsherdilemma

againintheformofarhetoricalquestion:“WhyIdidn’tgotheretostudy”(77),thus

reinforcingherregretoveralostlearning/studyingopportunityinJordan.

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However,whenAlexconsiderslivingthereshesinglesherselfoutfromherbrother

andfriend:

78Buttheyliveinahappyplace 79Theywanttoliveinthisplace 80butIdon’twantThatAlexwouldsaythatshedoesnotwanttolive“inahappyplace”mightseem

strangebutwhatsheisexpressingisherlackofaffiliationtoJordaninspiteofher

nationality.Whensheandherfamilyspendashorttimethereinthesummer,she

iseagertoreturn.Sheexpressesthisinemotionalterms:“justoneweekandI

startcrying/Iwanttocomebacktohere”(83-84).Thereasonshegivesisthatthey

alwaysstayathomewhileinJordanastheydo‘here’.Itisherfatherwhoprevents

thefamilyfromgoingoutandgettingtoknowtheplace:hisvoiceconstantly

remindsthem:”I’mherejusttoseemyparents”(88).Herfinalstatementis

spokenwithsadirony:

96A:It’shereinhome 97It’sthereinhomeIntermsofwiderdiscoursesAlexpositionsherselfasanaspiringyoungwoman

livinginapatriarchalandconservativefamilyandsociety.Itisherfatherwhohas

givenhertheoption(grantedataprice!)tostudyinJordanbutherdeliberations,

aspresentedtome,donotincludeadiscussionwithherfather.Itishisvoice

whichdirectsandcontrolshisfamilyandAlexneverconfrontshimdirectly;she

onlyaddresseshermotherinprivate.Thusagenderidentityemergesinthe

performanceofthenarrativeinwhichAlexpositionsherselfasoppositionalbut

notrebellious.Regardingherethnicity,Alexpositionsherselfasambivalentinher

orientationtoeithercountry:herconflictisexpressedasonebetweenadesirefor

greaterfreedomandforahigher-leveluniversityeducationinJordan(27-29)but

anoverridingfeelingofbelongingto‘here’inspiteofitssocialrestrictions(7-12).

Alexpresentsmewithglimpsesofherdesireforfreedomandabettereducation

buttheseformpartofasubtextinheraccountandshepositionsherselfasunable

toavailherselfoftheseadvantages.Sadly,hervisionofabetterworldintermsof

herstudentandgenderidentityseemsunlikelyevertoberealized.

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5.3.6FamilyMemberIdentity

5.3.6.1Familyconstraintsonherstudies

Alexpresentsafamilymemberidentityinconflictwithherstudentidentityand

createsdistanceinherperformanceoffamilyrelations.Savingfaceinfrontofher

familyispresentedasanimportantmotiveforoutwardsuccessinherlanguage

learningandstudyinginEnglishwhilefamilialdemandsareseenasimpingingon

heraccretionofacademicandprofessionalcapital.Inheremailresponsetothe

GELLsheet(A-email:17thOct.2012)Alexexplainshermotiveforstudying

Translationas:“IwanttoprovetomyselfandtomyparentsthatIcanbeperfect

inthisdepartment.”Inapost-SS7conversationshetellsmeherfathermadefun

ofherwhenherunclesaidawordinEnglishthatshedidn’tknow.Theadmitted

embarrassmentshefeltfuelledherregretfornotdoinglanguagecourses,which

sheclaimswouldhavehelpedimproveherEnglish.

ThroughtheinterviewsAlexbuildsacertaindistanceinherrelationshipwithher

family:whenhermothergivesbirthtoherbabybrotherattheendofthefirst

universitysemester,forexample,shepresentsthiseventasaninterferenceto

herstudying.EvenwhenshereportsinSS5thatsheconfidedinhermotherher

extremestressoverheruniversitystudies,hermotherisnotpositionedas

supportingherstudies,indeedsherespondswithachallenge:

A:Shetoldme“Whatwillyoudoifyougetmarriedwhilestudyingatuniversity”[Laughs]K:WhatdidyousayA:ItoldherthatIknowmyself.Ican’t.Ican’tactwiththisresponsible,thatIstudyfrom8to3or4andIcomebacktomyhomeand,Ican’tIcan’t (A-SS5:11)

Alex’sratherdesperateoppositiontohermother’steasing,reflectsapotential

threattoherstudentidentity.Hermother’svoiceexpressesherviewinmore

abruptfashioninourunrecordedconversationattheendofAlex’sfreshman

year.Knowingthatherdaughterwouldliketodohermastersandthenwork,her

commandingresponseis:“notinmyhome”(FN:13).AtthisAlexseemsto

acquiesceoratleastcompromise:sheagreestogetmarriedbyherfinalyearat

universitybutnotbefore.

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5.3.6.2Familyculture

Inourpost-SS7conversationAlexpresentsherselfasafamilypioneer:neither

herfathernorhermotherhavebeentouniversityand“wouldbesurprised”

(Post-SS7conversation-FN:5)iftheirdaughterwenttowork.Thereisonlyone

otherfemalerelativeinherextendedfamilystudyingatuniversitybutthereare

nowomenworking:“It’sthecultureofmyfamily”(Post-SS7conversation-FN:5),

Alexexplains.ShedistinguishesherfamilyculturefromthatofJordan,whereshe

saysmostwomenwork,andthatofSaudiArabia,wheremorewomenarenow

seekingcareers.Alexpositionsherselfinafamilyculturewhichproblematizes

herprofessionalandeducationalidentities,asSmallStory6shows.

SmallStory6(SS7:9-11)The‘IdealandPossibleSelf’narrative(App.A6:338-340)Inthisnarrative,attheendofthefinalinterview,Alexforegroundsherimagined

identitiesasEnglishspeakerandtranslator.Theprojectionofheridealselfcreatesa

tensionthroughthenarrativebutshereaches,intheend,aperformedharmonious

positionwithherculture,whichmeansadaptinghergoalstofitsociety’s

expectationsthatshebecomeawifeandmother.Alexdevelopsapublic,idealselfin

thesensethatsheimaginesherachievementsrewardedbypublicrecognitionofher

excellencebutthisiscounteractedbythemoreprivate,domesticidentitypresented

inthelastsectionofthenarrative(64-89).

Intermsofcharacters,thisnarrativeisunusualinthattherearefew‘real’people;

indeed,apartfromAlexherself,thereisherimaginedhusbandandnameless

admirersofhersuperiorspokenEnglishandtranslationskills.Theonly‘real’people

shepresentsarethegroupofmore‘competent’Englishspeakersatheruniversity.As

ifbreakingtheboundsofherEL2identity,Alexaspirestoafutureidentityasanear-

nativespeakerlikethesefellowstudentswho:

32ifyouheardthemonthephone 33youwouldnotguessthattheyareanArabicpeople

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Themostimportantattributeishavingthe“realaccent”(15,18)evenmorethan

“language”(17).Alexholdsontothisvision,inspiteofmyreassurancesthatsheis

aneffectiveenoughcommunicatorinEnglish.Sheevencorrectsmyassumption

thatshejustwantstospeakEnglishlikethe‘competent’students(34-35):indeed,

takingonanear-nativesocialidentityistheidealachievementofherfouryearsof

universitystudy(37-41)sothat“IwillprovetomyselfthatI’mlikethem”(38).

AnewsubjectpositionthusemergeswhichseemsunrelatedtoAlex’sidentityasa

student.Nowsheseekspublicrecognitionofherimaginedstatus:

42andreallyifItalktosomeone 43hewillsay“OhmyGod!Youaregood”Alextracestheprocessfromlanguagelearner(39-41)tolanguageuser(42)to

acknowledgementofothers(43)asthepathtoheridealself,indeed,Alex’s

imaginedselfasEnglishspeakerinherlocalsettingtakesupthefirsthalfofthe

narrative(8-43).Sheusesthissamepatternwithherimagined,superlativelevelof

translationpresentinghergoalastherecognitionbyothersoftheoutstanding

qualityofhertranslationwork.AgainAlexspeaksinthevoiceofheradmirers:“…Oh

youarereallygoodinthis/it’sreallyyourdepartment”(47-48),whichunderscores

theimportancetoherofthesocialrecognitionofherimaginedself.

AtthishighpointrealityseemstoseepinasAlexconsidersherlikelymarriageor

engagementinherfinalyearofundergraduatestudy.Inthedelineationofher

futureself,Alex’simaginedhusbandbecomesacharacterwholoomslarge.Heis

theunknownfactorthatwilldecideifshecanfulfilhergoaltostudyforaMaster’s

inTranslationandwilldeterminetheconditionsofherworkingasatranslator:

56A:Idon’tknowwhat’shismindmyhusband(K:right) 57Idon’tknowifhewillacceptIstudymasterorifIwork58Idon’tknowyouknowso(K:right[dubiously])WiththeserepetitivestatementsofuncertaintyAlex’simaginedselfstarts

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tocrumbleandsheemphasisesitsephemeralnatureinherremindertome:“I’mjust

nowtellingyouwhatIwishaboutmystudy”(59).Alexnowpositionsherselfasa

wifewillingtoaccommodatetoherhusband’swillandshenegotiateswithhimto

allowhertoworkfromhome(69-72).Alexisnolongeroppositional:sheisnowa

memberofafamilycultureandmyculturalinformant:

75we’rePalestinianpeopleyouknow 76wenotthatopenmind 77wearenotthatthing

Herparallelismsconstituteastrongstatementofidentity.Herfinaldeclaration(82-

89)isadefiantidentityconfrontation,adeclarationofAlex’ssolidtranslatoridentity

withinculturalborders.Heresheinterruptsmyquestioningvoicetoloudlyasserther

acceptanceofherpositionastranslatorathome.Herargumentthathertranslator

identitywillremainintact,whethersheworksathomeorinanoffice,isapowerful

oneandIfeelIhavenochoicebuttoacceptit.Afutureself,dividedbetweenher

professionalanddomesticidentities,isthemostlikelyoneifAlexistoforgea

compromisewithherculture.

ThusAlexfinallycarvesoutforherselfaviablefutureselfinhersocioculturalcontext.

Althoughshedoesnotdrawattentionassuchtohergenderidentitysheshowsin

effecthowsheispositionedbyideologicaldiscoursesofgenderinequalityinthat

marriageispresentedasagivennotanoption.DiscoursesofEnglishascultural,

socialandeconomiccapitalalsopositionAlex,andsheimaginesherfutureidealself

inrelationtothesewiderdiscourses.SpeakingEnglishtoanadvancedlevelgives

statustoArabsespeciallytowomeninSaudisocietyintermsofsocialclassandlevel

ofeducation.Similarly,studyingTranslationtoanadvancedlevelwillgiveherthe

economiccapitalinordertogainaccesstoemploymentasatranslator.However,

AlexdisplaysuncertaintyoverheraccesstoreturnsonherinvestmentinEnglish.

Gaininglegitimacyinherfamilyisanimportantconsideration.Thechallengeof

jugglingfamilial,socialandprofessionalidentitiesisacommononeandcanbeseen

aspartofadominantnarrativewhichpositionsmanyyoungwomeninhersociety.

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Thussocial,familial,educationalandculturalstructuresarefrequentlypresented

inthecourseoftheinterviewsasobstructionstoAlex’sELLU,generalstudent

andTranslationstudentselves,andevenasconstraintstoourinteractioninthat

herfamilycultureprecludesusfrommeetingoutsidecampus.However,inthe

finalnarrative,Alexpositionsherselfasaccommodatingherfutureselfinabidto

reconcileheridentitiesaseducated,professionalyoungwomanandaswifeand

mother.

5.3.7SummaryofAlex’sbignarrativeandsmallstories

Alex’sidentityperformanceasalanguagelearnercanbeplottedalonga

trajectoryofprocessesfromlearningwordstotranslatingtomemorisingto

understandingtomanipulatinglanguageandfinallytojoininganimagined

communityofhighly‘audible’EL2speakers.Movingforwardinparalleltothis

languagelearning‘highway’isAlex’sstudentselfwhichatfirstisnotstretched

enough,isstunnedintosilenceattransitiontouniversityandthengainsavoice

asnovicestudentasAlexmovesawayfromherex-PPpeerstojoinnewlearning

groupsofmoreadvancedstudents.Twoturningpointsareshownascritical

alongtheway:Alex’s‘silencing’attheshockofacademic,linguisticandsocial

transitionandthelatervalidationofherEL2voiceintheuniversityclassroom.

Thedevelopmentofanoppositionalselfintermsofinstitutional,familialand

culturalconstraintsonhergeneralandtranslationstudent/futuretranslator

identitiesisadefiningfeatureofAlex’sidentitytrajectory.

AsenseofcoherenceisachievedthroughAlex’sfrequentreferencetoprevious

tellings,hermountingregretoverpastEL2learningatschoolandatthePPand

herforeshadowingoflaterdevelopments.Forexample,theseedsofthestruggle

sheencounterswithacademiclanguagearesowninherearlynarrativesandher

frequentlyexpresseddesiretoworkwithbetterstudentsinthepre-transition

interviewsbecomesanimportantstrategyinherworkingtowardssocialand

academicintegrationatuniversity.

Thesmallstoriesgiveanuancedaccountoftheemergenceofgenderandethnic

subjectpositionsininteractionandtheirchangingrelationshipwithELLUand

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studentidentities.Theyalsoshowhowinteractivepositioningandperformance

devices,particularlyAlex’sexclamatoryandrhetoricalstyle,createasenseof

impassionedagencyinherself-presentationsasalearnerbutalsopointtothe

tenuousnessofheridentitiesassuccessfulstudentandimaginedprofessional.

Throughtheevaluationofconflictingvoicesinnarrativeperformance,Alex

positionsherselfwithinwidersocialandculturaldiscourses,attimesshowingan

ironicdisdaintowardspatriarchalandinstitutionalthreatstoheragencybut

finallyeffectingacompromisewithherfamilyculture.However,Alexdevelopsa

powerful,argumentativeEL2voiceintheinteractivecontextoftheinterviews.

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CHAPTER6SANDRA

S:…IlikethewaywhenIstudyeverythinginEnglish. K:Youlikeit.

S:Yesbecauseithaveyouknowitgiveyouanother,itgiveyouanotherwaytolookat,nonotanotherway,itgiveyouyeahanotherwayforseetheworldorlearnsomethingyaʿnī.SometimesyouwillfeelyouareexistingyouwantlearnmorebecausethatinEnglishandthatwedon’tknowaboutnottheArabopinionortheArabwhattheydoorwhattheymakeno,nowwewilllearnaboutthepeopleoutsidelikeinAmericaninItalianinSpanishinlikethat.Nowwetalkaboutthesepeoplewelearnaboutthemlikethat.Ifeelformeit’snicewhenIstudyinEnglishthecourses. (S-SS3:2-3)

6.1Ourrelationship

Sandrawasthefirstofmyparticipantstovolunteertotakepartinmyresearch.

SheseemedtotakepleasureintalkingtomeandafterPP2insistedonmeeting

meoutsidetheacademiccontext,firstinashoppingmallandthen,foralllater

interviewsandconversations,inourrespectivehomes.Shehadafamilydriverat

herdisposalandseemedtobeabletomeetmeattimesconvenienttousboth,

suggestingthatSandra’sfamilywasnotparticularlyconservative.Beforeand

aftertheinterviewsatourhomestherewasextendeddiscussiononavarietyof

topics.Consequently,itisprobablytruetosaythatIdevelopedamorefamiliar

relationshipwithSandrathanIdidwithmyotherthreeparticipants.

Sandrawasalsooneofthethreeparticipantslivinginfatherlessfamilies,inthe

sensethattherewasnodominant,paternalisticpresenceinthefamilyhome.She

wouldoftencometomyhomewithoneortwoyoungsiblingsintow,explaining

thatshehadtheresponsibilityoflookingafterthem.Sandrawaseagerformeto

meetherfamily,whichIdidwhenIwentovertointerviewherabouther

responsetotheGELL(GoodEnglishLanguageLearner)sheetattheendofthePP

year.MostofherfamilyspeakEnglishquitewellandIwouldcategoriseher

homeasmiddle-class.Sandraandheryoungerhalf-sistersliveinaseparate

annexefromhermotherandstepfatherandwithinthisarea,Sandraseemsto

rule.AlthoughavolublespeakerSandra’sfrequentfalsestartsandstammering,

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particularlywhensheisbeingrecorded,makelisteningtoherlengthyutterances

ratherchallenging.However,herfriendlinessandwarmthcompensateinpart

andher,attimes,ramblingdiscourseinEnglishcreatesanimpressionof

unfilteredspeechandofher‘openness’inresponse.

6.2Background

BothSandra’sparentsareSaudiandshehaslivedinSaudiArabiaallherlife.

Although19yearsoldatthebeginningoftheresearchperiod,shelookedolder

andhadastrongEnglishpresence.BythisImeanthatshewasafeisty

conversationalistandabletoexpressherideasquiteforcefullyinEnglish.She

hadtheadvantageovertwooftheparticipantsofhavingbeentoprivateschools,

whereshestudiedEnglishthroughoutherschoolcareer.Sandrapresentsherself

inherinformalinterview(seeAppendixF2)asonewhohasgrownupwith

English.SheclaimsthatshefirstlearntEnglishfromherFilipinonannywhenshe

wasfive,thenmostlyfromherunclesandfromwatchingEnglishmovies.

Sandraisquicktoimpressonmeherdysfunctionalfamilylife:shetellsmethat

whenherparentsgotdivorcedshewasfiveyearsoldandwasfirstsenttolive

withhergrandparentsandthreeyearslaterwasmovedtoanothercitytolive

withherfatherandstepmother.Finallyatfourteenhergrandfatherarrangedfor

hertocomebacktolivewithhermotherandstepfatherasherstepmotherwas

“offensive”(S-Inf.Int:1)toher.Sandraclaimsthatsheisclosertohertwoyoung

unclesthaneitherhermotherorfatherandseekstoemulatethem,particularly

intheirforeignlanguagecompetence.

6.3.Sandra’sbignarrativeandsmallstories

6.3.1Overview

Sandra’sfocusonher‘self’formsthecoreofheraccountoflanguagelearningand

herpersonalandemotionaldispositionstendtoparallelherlearnerandlearning

developments.TheinterviewtitlesbelowindicateSandra’srisingconfidencein

herdevelopmentasalanguagelearnerwhileatthePP.Afteraslumpinthefirst

universitysemester,sheseemstobeontheriseagainbythesecondsemester.

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25Feb SS1 Findinganiche

4April SS2 Learningmoreandmore

25April Grp. Feelingreadyfornextyear

15May SS3 Reachingforthesky

7June GELL Confidenceonholdfortheholiday


11Sept SS4 MyMuslimidentityandfutureconcerns

19Nov SS5 Problemsoftheuniversityfledgling

5Feb SS6 Moderatesuccessinfacingnewchallenges

IhavefocusedonwhatIinterpretasthemainidentitiesSandratakesupinher

bignarrativeas:

A. Englishlanguagelearner/user(ELLU)B. StudentC. Counsellor/PsychologicalselfD. Quietloner

WithindifferentinterviewsSandraalsotakesupparticularidentities,suchasher

problematicArabicspeakeridentityinSS2andherMuslimidentityinSS4.These

donotappearconsistentlythroughtheinterviewsbutarepresentedperhapsto

showmeadifferentaspectofherself.TheplethoraofSandra’sstoriesand

anecdotesinherspeechalsoprovidesarichtapestryofsubjectpositionsand

positionings.

6.3.2Englishlanguagelearner/user(ELLU)identity

InSandra’sself-presentationasaELLUbeforehertransitiontouniversityshe

positionsherselfasaquietlistener,ahelperandadvisorinrelationtoherfellow-

studentsandasauniqueindividualwithastrongwilltolearnandwithherown

specialproblemsandwaysofworking.Hermostlysuccessfulandupward

language-learningpathisconstructedasaseriesof‘epiphanies’or

breakthroughsfromhighschooltouniversity.Sandraalsoshowsagrowing

awarenessofherlanguagelearninginheraccountsofclassroomproceduresand

inherappropriationofteachers’voices.However,shedisplayslimitedagencyas

alearnerandtendstopresentherselfasthepassivecharacterwhochoosesnot

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totakeanactiveroleinclass.Aftertransitionshepresentsherselfashaving

movedbeyondlearninggeneralEnglishinordertocopewiththedemandsof

studyingnew,academicsubjectsthroughthemediumofEnglish.Sandra’sself-

ratingandmotivationasalanguagelearnerappeartofallinthepost-transition

interviewsandsheemphasisesherurgentneedtoraiseherlanguagelevel.Inour

finalinterview,however,Sandraseemstorenewhereffortstoadaptto

universitylanguagelearningpractices.

Fromtheverybeginningofourinterviews,Sandrapresentsherrelationshipwith

learningEnglishasonewhichstretcheswellbeyondheracademiccontext:she

relatesitcloselytoherfamilytiesandherlife-context.Shealsoshowsawareness

andappreciationofthebeneficialeffectstoherlearningEnglishofour

interactions.MostSaudis,Sandraclaims,arenotinterestedinlearningEnglish

becausetheydonotthinkitisimportant.However,shefrequentlyexpressesher

motiveforimprovingherEnglishasalife-longpursuit,notparticularlyinorder

tostudyatuniversityortogetagoodjobbutforherselfinanincreasingly

English-speakingArabworld.

SS1-Findinganiche

SandrarepeatsanumberoftimesinherinterviewsthatshehatedEnglishwhile

atschoolbecauseofthepoorteaching.ShementionsspecificallythatEnglish

teachersdidnotpronouncewell,whereaswatchingEnglishmovieshelpedherto

“knowhowtospeakthewordintherightwayandalsotheaccess(accent),my

accesswascomegood”(S-SS1:3).Shepresentsherselfasalwaysachieving

excellentmarksinEnglishatintermediateschoolinanamusinghabitual

anecdote:herteacherwouldwaituntilSandrahadcompletedthetestandthen

giveherclassmatesherpapertocopyfrom,astherestoftheclasswere“very

bad”(SS1:5)atEnglish.Althoughschoolisnotpresentedasasitefor

improvement,Sandraperformsalearningbreakthroughinherhighschool

Englishgrammarclassduetoaneffectivegrammarbookwhich,sheclaims,gave

heranewunderstandingofEnglishgrammar.Sheemphasisesthatshestilluses

thebookinthePPasalearningresourceandevensharesitwithherfriendsin

ordertohelpthemwiththeirgrammar.

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Incomparisontoschool,thePPispresentedasacreditableandtrustworthy

language-learningenvironment.InheraccountofPP2,Sandrapresentsanother

learningbreakthrough:

It(PP1)wasgood,thatwasjustthebeginning,butinthattimeIdon’tfeelanythingdifferentbutwhenIcomeinPP2ah-mhereIfoundI foundthedifferentbecauseeverythingischange(S-SS1:7)

AlthoughSandraclaimsshewasapprehensiveaboutstudyingeverythingin

EnglishwhenshefirstcametothePP,shenowpresentsherlearningas

enjoyableandproductive.Shedescribesusefulclassactivitieslikewatchinga

video,tryingtopickouttheproblemsbeingdiscussedandthenfeedingback

answerstotheteacher.

WhileSandraexpressesheropinionthatbeingactivewiththeteacherisbetter

forherlearningbecausethentheteachercanmoreeasilyidentifyher

weaknesses,sheemphasisesherpreferenceforbeingaquietlistenerinclass:

Ijustwanttobesitandquiet[…]iftheynotaskmeIwilljuststayandjustlisten.Ilikelistening. (S-SS1:9)

Also,shestatesherpreferenceforworkingonherowninclassratherthanina

group.Shepresentsthisasadilemmabecauseontheonehandshewantstohelp

herclassmatewhosheseesasafriendorsisterbutthenshegetsannoyedwhen

thisgirlcopiesherassignmentandgetsafullmark.Althoughinherfirst

recordedinterviewSandrastillseemstobe‘findinganiche’inthePP,her

outlookandorientationasanimprovinglearnerofEnglishareforward-looking

andoptimistic.

SS2-Learningmoreandmore

SandrapresentsherPP2EnglishlearningrepertoireinspecifictermsinSS2:

she’spractisingherlisteningandbeginningtounderstandpeoplewhospeak

Englishfast;she’slearningnewwordsandactuallyusingtheminherspeaking;

shecanunderstandanythingshereadsontheinternetnowandshecanwriteher

opinioninEnglish.Sandraexpresseswhatsheisabletodointhefirstperson

singular‘I’throughout,implyingthatsheiscommentingonherprogressasan

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individuallearnerratherthanasamemberofherPP2class.Sheexpresses

anothermeaningful,personal‘epiphany’inListeningusingthe‘first-time’motif:

Myteachershesaywe’regoodourgradeitwasfine.ButformeIfeelthatthisisthefirsttimeIcanunderstandthemorethingsoftheListening.InPP1Icannotbutnow… (S-SS2:3)

However,fromwithinthislanguagelearning‘roll’Sandrapresentsarather

disillusionedbutstoicself:“IfeelI’mdoingwell.Butthereissomemistakes,but

yaʿnīit’sfineit’sOKbutthereissomemistakes”(SS2:2).Themotif“it’sfine”

recursinhercommentsonherattainmentlevelsontests.Theimplicationisthat

Sandraisnotaimingatexcellencebutsatisfiedwithmoderatelygoodmarks.

AttheendofSS2,whenIinquirehowherstudiesinTranslationaregoing,

SandraperformsherrelationshipwithEnglishasanenabling,trouble-freeone,

whereasherfirstlanguage,Arabic,ispresentedasproblematic.Asafamily

problemitalsobearsonheridentityasacounsellor/psychologicalself,aswe

shallseein6.3.4.Interestingly,thenarrationofthisproblemanditsexplanation

takeupaboutonethirdofSS2butSandranevermentionstheproblemagainin

anyofourotherinterviewsandconversations.SmallStory1ismadeupoftwo

extractsofthislongnarrative.

SmallStory1–(SS2-A:5-6,B:7-8)The‘Arabicproblem’narrative(App.B1:341-342)

InthecontextofherrisingconfidenceasanEnglishlearneranduseratthePPinSS2,

SandrapresentsaspokeinthewheelofheridentityasaSaudi,namelyaproblem

sheclaimstohavewithexpressingheropinioninherfirstlanguage,Arabic.Inthe

‘Arabicproblemnarrative’Sandrabringsouthereaseofself-expressioninEnglish

andpitsthisagainstherconstructionofcommunicationinherfirstlanguageas

complicatedandproblematic.ThisiscertainlyanunexpectedturninSandra’sself-

presentationasanEL2learnerandhersurprisingquestion:“HowcanItranslate

somethinginEnglishtomylanguage”(A17)makesarhetoricalimpact.

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SandraintroducesherArabicproblemtomeinthecontextofherprogressinher

Translationstudies,asifrevealingherunusual‘self’toacounsellor:

4butthereissomeproblemwithme5I’mnotspeakingwellinArabic6 notinEnglishinArabic (PartA)

Shetracesthisproblem,whichsheclaimshersisterhasalso‘inherited’,backtoher

motherasifabsolvingresponsibility:“That’snotmyproblem”(A9).Byline18she

andhersisterseemcastaspassivevictimsofafamilyconditionasSandrapresents

their‘finding’oftheirArabicproblem(A15,35,B32)andcreatesasenseofmystery

surroundingitssource(A11,13).

SandraexpoundsontheArabicproblemwhichhasbecomehers(A18,35,37)and

presentsitashavingdifferent,far-reachingeffectssuchasdisablingcommunication,

asobscuringherexplanationstofellow-studentsandasloweringthequalityofher

translationwork.“Idon’tknow”becomesamotifthroughthenarrative,especially

amongI-statementswhichreflectontheconsequencestoher‘self’(A7-8,16,B9,13,)

andleadtoherratherdesperatefinalstatement:

33 Idon’tknowhowtotellyouwhatIwant34 whatIwanttosay. (PartB)

Positioningherselfasbothnarrator/investigatoroftheselfandobservedself,Sandra

commentsonthemanifestationandimplicationsofher‘self’asanineffective

communicatoronothers,usingthegeneric‘you’:

31 butItrytogiveyoumyopinion32 butyouwillstill33 butyouwillnotunderstandquickly34 Ihavetotellyouanyexamplesforanythingyaʿnī (PartA)

DrM,herTranslationteacher,isanimportantcharacterasheistheauthoritative

voicewhichcorroboratesSandra’sclaim:“youhaveproblemtranslatingintoArabic.”

(A41).Nowthetoneismorelight-hearted:Sandrapositionsherselfasamysterythat

othersdiscoverabouther.Thatherteacherhasfoundouthersecretproblemisa

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sourceofamusement(A42).Howeverwhenshetakesherselfandherproblemtoa

spaceandtimeoutsideheruniversitycontextinPartB,itbecomesserious:

4 becausethatisveryproblemifIwanttoworkinanywhere5 forexamplecompanyinschoolinuniversity.6 Thatisveryhard (PartB)

Hercontradictorystatementsthatfirstpositionherasnotactivelytryingtoimprove

“I’mnottryingtomakebetter”(B14)andthenas“nowdoingbetter”(B16)dueto

herownefforts,arefollowedbyherhesitationoverusingtheword“study”to

denotehowsheishelpingherself:

17 I’malwaystryingtostudy.18Yes,notstudyyesmaybestudy19 maybeyoucansaystudy (PartB)

InthecontextofherstoryofherArabicproblem,thishesitationoverthebestword

touseinEnglishandthecontradictioninherexpressionsofagencyseemironic.

ShecommunicatesherArabicproblemtomeasonewhichseriouslyandcritically

impedesherself-expression.Nowseeminglyestrangedfromherfirstlanguage,she

positionsherselfassettlingcomfortablyintoherEL2self.Usingenablingwordsanda

morelight-heartedtonetodenotehercurrentrelationshipwithEnglish,she

emphaticallycontraststhiswithherexpressionandtoneofconcerninrelationto

Arabic:

28 butnowinEnglishIcanspeakwell29 Icantellyouahmyopinion30 Icanspeak31 ButinArabic32 [seriously]Ifoundproblems (PartB)

Ineffect,SandraperformsaproblematisationofherArabicidentity,adoptingan

English-friendlypersonainordertohighlightherproblemswithherArabiclanguage

andactsoutherrelationshipwithArabicandEnglishusingrepetition,parallelisms

andcontrastingtoneanddiction.Anadditionalinterpretationcouldbethatsheis

expressinghersatisfactionandself-efficacyintalkingtomeandinexpoundingona

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‘personalproblem’inherEL2.Sandrahasaclearagendatoexpoundonherpersonal

problemsandIhardlyfeelweareco-constructingthenarrativeassherejectsor

ignoresmythreecontributions.Myroleistolistenandunderstand.Inher

delineationofArabicasadifficultlanguageandofEnglishasaneasyone,Sandrais

positioningherownsituationasalanguageuserwithinwidersocialnarratives.Also

herArabicversusEnglishnarrativereflectscurrentdebatesontheimportanceof

maintainingandnurturingArabicidentityinthefaceofthe‘onslaught’ofEnglish.

DiscoursesoflanguagepositionArabicasamoreformal,complexlanguagewhile

Englishisseenasfunctionalandmoresuitedtoaconfessionalmodeofexpression.It

isinherpresentationofherproblemasa‘psychological’caseandanemotionalissue

thatSandrafindsapersonalniche.However,Sandrastopsattheexpositionstage

andthereislittlesenseofagencyorconcertedpersonaleffortexpressedinorderto

dealwiththeproblem.

6.3.2.4Feelingreadyfornextyear–SS3

Inourgroupinterview(Sandra,Nour,Nevineandmyself)Sandraclaimsshefeels

readyforherstudyinEnglishattheuniversityandisconfidentthatshewill

understandherteachers.Shedefendsherchoiceofmajor,Englishand

Translation,intermsofitsuseinansweringherbrothers’andherfriends’

questionsandinspeakingtopeopleratherthaninpursuingfurtheracademic

studiesoracareer.Sandranowseemstobepresentingherselfinthecontextof

hersocietyasbeginningtomovebeyondasituationinwhichEnglishistheonly

importantL2:whenNevinearguesthatEnglishisallsheneedsbecauseitisa

linguafranca,SandradismissivelyretortsthatEnglishisnowa‘general’language

butusefultoknowasasteppingstonetothelearningofotherlanguages:“we

mustlearnEnglishandthenwewilllearnanotherlanguage”(Group-2:9).

BeforeSmallStory2(seebelow),thetensionrisesbetweenSandraandNevineas

thelattercontinuestoexpressherexclusiveattachmenttoEnglishandher

rejectionofArabicstudy.NevinehasforestalledSandra’spositioningofherasan

‘outsider’,wholivedinAmericawith“mātitkallam”(Don’ttalk)[laughs](Group-

174

2:3)inordertoexplainherattachmenttoEnglishandthiscanbeseenasa

foretasteofSmallStory2.

SmallStory2:(Group2:10-12)The‘TeasingNevine’narrative(App.B2:342-344)

Sandra,Nour,NevineandIparticipateinanimpromptudiscussiononlearning

EnglishandtheusesofEnglishinSaudiArabiaonthelastPP2teachingday.Wehave

lefttheclasspartyinordertohaveourownget-togetherinanotherclassroom.This

alternativespacebecomesaforumforanentertainingexchangeofviewsandthe

groupdynamicseemstoinfluencethepositionsthatwetakeup.Inthisnarrative,

Sandralaunchesintoamocking,hyperboliccritiqueofNevine’sspokenandwritten

Arabic,hertranslationintoArabicandfinallyherknowledgeofClassicalArabic.By

usingthethirdpersonthroughouttorefertoNevine,asifsheisnotpresent,Sandra

createsanironicdistance,perhapstakingawaysomeofthestingofhertaunting

remarks.Frommypart,IopenthewindowforSandra’s‘onslaught’inphrasingmy

initialquestionaskingforopinionsaboutNevine’sArabic(1).

Sandraisbrazeninherremarks:sheassessesNevine’sspokenandwrittenArabicas

worsethanthatofherforeigndomesticworker:

(8)S:Mymaidshespeaksbetterandshewritebetter.NoNevinenoshe’s=(9)K:=She’swhat(10)S:She’sbad.She’sbad.(11)Ne:yāwaylī(I’mdonefor)

HereSandracreateshyperbolichumourbasedonoursharedknowledgethat

domesticworkersrarelywriteArabicandeventheirspokenArabicwouldbe

appropriatetothefunctioningofdomesticworkratherthantoanacademicsocial

context.Thereisalsoironyoflanguageuseproducedintheexchange:whileSandra

usesherEL2toremarkonNevine’sArabic,Nevinemelodramaticallybemoansher

fateinArabic.Sandraconstructsthenarrativeasacomedicdrama:heraudacious

statementsmakeeveryonelaugh,particularlyNevine,butthereisasenseof

embarrassmentanddiscomfortinourlaughter.AlthoughNevine(3),Nour(7)and

175

I(5)allinterveneinordertocurbSandra’sprovocationoratleastcurbitseffects,she

sustainsits‘bite’untilNour’smoderatingassessmentofNevine’sArabic:“No,some

wordsit’sgood…/ButsomewordsIthink{maybeshe’sAmerican}”(13).Thisremark,

whichtentativelyidentifiesNevineasAmerican,canbeseenaspositivefromboth

Nour’sandNevine’spointofview:wecaninterpretitinthiswaybasedonprevious

participanttalk.IthastheeffectofmitigatingSandra’soutburstsomewhatsothat

shenowlimitshercritiquetoNevine’sknowledgeofClassicalArabic.Thispartofthe

narrativeisco-constructedbySandra,Nevineandmyselfandseemstoloseits

slanderousedge:

(14)S:{Inanormalway}Inanormalwayshecanspeakwell(K:Yes)butinArabic in=(15)Ne:=likeArabictheformallanguage(16)K:ClassicalArabic(17)Ne:YesClassical(18)S:Ou-u!(19)Ne:[laughing]Horrible!Sandraextendsthejokeusingcreativemetaphors,suggestingtheyshould“makea

newlanguageforNevine”(20)and“makeabookforthislanguage”(20)which

ironicallypositionsNevineasatotaloutsidertotheArabicworld,ofwhichsheand

Nourarepart.ItisasifinpositioningNevineasalien,Sandraissettingherselfupas

judgeinhercapacityasfirstlanguageArabicspeaker.Thisseemshighlyironicinthe

contextofherearlier‘Arabicproblem’narrative(S-SmallStory1),threeweeks

earlier,inwhichsheperformedatroubledArabicidentity.

WhenIseektodefendNevine’s‘weak’Arabicbyestablishingheralleged

internationalschoolbackground,Sandraturnsthetablesonmeasanother‘weak’

Arabicspeaker:“OKmissbutyoualso”(30).Iattempttodeflectherpositioningof

measanewtargetwhensheinsistsItellastoryinArabic(31,33).Againthe

audacityofSandra’sinitiativedrawslaughterfromtheothers,butthistimeNour

showsherapproval(35)andIfinallyagreetospeaksomeArabicafterturningthe

recorderoff(37).IhavepositionedmyselfasmediatoranddefenderofNevineto

Sandra’sperformanceofprovocateurandjoker.

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NowIrefusetoacceptthe‘victim’positionasNevinedidandtoprovide‘public’

amusementforthegroup.InonesenseIseethisasachallengetomy

researcher/interviewerstatus.AsEL1interviewerIexpectmyparticipantstotellme

storiesoftheirlifeandstudycontextintheirEL2,whichIrecordforthepurposesof

myresearch.However,Sandraishereusurpingmyroleasresearcher/interviewer

andcounter-constructingtheinterviewsituation,intheinformalcontextofour

impromptugroupmeeting.

Sandra’sjibesatNevine’sArabiccanbeseenastappingintocurrentlanguage

debatesinSaudiArabiaconcernedwithSaudiyoungpeoplelosingtheirArabicdue

toEnglishmediumeducation.Thereisalsoconcernthatmanychildrenarenot

exposedtoArabicastheyarebeingbroughtupinEnglishbyforeignnannies.

ConsideringSandra’sprovocationinthislightmakeshercomparisonbetweenher

foreigndomesticworker’sArabicandNevine’sArabicseemparticularly

objectionable.Thus,inthisnarrative,SandracanbeseentomarkandtargetNevine

asoneoftheArabic‘deserters’whilesolidlyidentifyingherselfasafirst-language

Arabicspeaker.

SS3-Reachingforthesky

InSS3,whichtakesplacesoonaftertheendofthePPacademicyear,Sandra

givesaboosttoheraccountofblossomingasanEnglishlearnerinPP2.Againshe

uses‘enabling’phrasestoexpresswhatshehasaccomplished:

Now,inPP2Ifoundagoodwaytomemorizetheword.Ifoundtheeasywayto,asItoldyou,towritetheparagraph.NowIfoundhowtochoosethiswordformysubjectorformywork,likethat(S-SS3:1)

SandraperformsheraccomplishmentsinlearningmoreEnglishasadiscoverer,

asonewho‘findsherway’ratherthanasa‘taught’learner,whichisconsistent

withherhighlyindividualstanceinherself-presentations.

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Also,thisisthesecondtimethatshebringsinthebeneficialeffectstoherselfof

ourinteraction.InSS2shementionedtheopportunitiesshehastospeakEnglish

withmeandnowshedrawsattentiontomyroleintermsofmyencouragement

andmyassessmentofherprogressinspeakingEnglish.Ibecomeacharacterin

Sandra’slanguagelearningstoryandamarkerofherprogress:

K:OKsowhenyousayyoucanwritewellyoucanspeakwelldidsomeonetellyouthatoryoubelieveityourself?S:Er-ermthefirstpersonwhotoldmenowI’mdoingwellinmyspeakingisyouandthiswayIfeellikeyesthereissomeonefeelwhatI’mdoingnow.No,notfeel,thereissomeonewhofoundthedifferenceorsomeoneknowhowIwasspeakandhowIspeaknow.(S-SS3:2)

SheexpressesheroptimismaboutstudyinginEnglishattheuniversitywhich

willnotonlygiveheradvantagesinlanguagelearningbutwillalsohavethe

effectofopeninguptheworldandlearning“aboutthepeopleoutside,likein

AmericaninItalianinSpanishinlikethat”(SS3:2-3).Hermotivationtolearn

moreEnglishisnotconfinedtoherstudies,however.CompletingherPPyear

successfullyseemstoleadhertodisplayaninnersurgeinself-confidenceand

motivation:S:Ermsomethingisformeisgivemelikeyouknowgiveme,howcanItellyou.Thisletme,beforeIwashateEnglish.NowafterIsawmyselfnowIcanpassIcanlearnthatisIfeelnowIwanttolearnmore.Iwant,thatisgivemebigchancetolearnmoredomoremakesomethingmore (S-SS3:16)

Inthiswaveofoptimism,itisindividualwillthatisputforwardasthemost

importantfactorinsuccessfullanguagelearning.WhereasinSS1Sandrahad

arguedthatthebestwayforanyonetolearnEnglishwouldbetostayinan

English-speakingcountry,nowone’slearningenvironmentisseenasimmaterial:

S:…BecauseifsomeonewanttolearnEnglishhewill.Hewilllearniteveninhistownoroutside.IfyouwanttospeakEnglishwellyouwilltrymanywayslikeinstudents’college,books,likeininternetlikewhenyoufirstvisitoutside. (S-SS3:5)

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GELL-Confidenceonhold

IntheGELLinterview(see4.5.4),whichtookplaceinherprivatesittingroomat

thebeginningofthesummerholiday,Sandrapresentsherselfasgoal-driven:“IfI

haveagoalIwanttogetit”(GELL:1).Sheexpressesheropinionthatnobody

wantstolearnalanguageunlessheorshehasaspecificmotive.However,later

onintheinterview,SandraseemstoexpandonhermotiveforlearningEnglish.

Now,learninglanguagesispresentednotjustasaneconomicorcultural

investment,butasapersonaldesiretopossesstheforeignlanguage:

S:Maybethislanguageisnotusefulornotusefulformeinmycultureinmytime.Alsoitnothelpmeinworkoranything.ButformeIwantevenIdon’tneedIwant.Istillwantit. (S-GELL:4)

Inherexplanationofherchoiceof‘agoodlistener’Sandraagainconstructs

herselfasquietinclass:“Ijustlisten.Idon’tliketheactive.Ijustlikelisten”

(GELL:3).Thisconstructionofherself,asalearnerwhodoesn’tliketalkingin

class,distinguishesherfromotherstudentswhoare“alwayschattingontheir

Blackberry”(GELL:3).Shepresentsherselfasnotevenwantingtoanswerthe

teacherwhensheasksheraquestioninclass.WhenIsuggestthatotherscould

belearningmoreEnglishviatheirmobilephones,sheagreeswithmebutinsists

thatthisisnotherwayoflearning.Sandraexpressesherconfidenceinherown,

esotericlearningpredilections:“Ihavespecialwaysinmyopinionaboutmyself

becauseIknowmyself.IcanpassthisthingandalsoIcandowellyaʿnī.Iknow

myself”(GELL:4).AsinSS1,Sandraappearstoplaceherindividualpredilections

abovebeneficiallearningpractices.

InanticipationofhertransitiontouniversitySandraalsoemphasisesthe

importanceofconsistentstudyofthelanguage.Sheacknowledgesherfrequent

grammarmistakes,whichseemtoconcernher.Icanheartheworryinhervoice

asshespeaksaboutherintentiontostudyEnglishataninstituteoverthe

summer:

S:…ButIwilltrythissummerinshāʾAllāhIwillgotoaninstitutebecauseIneedtopracticemyselfbecauseIwillfindabigproblemnextyear(S-GELL:3)

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Thereisasenseofconcernovertheadequacyofherlinguisticproficiency.Thus

herself-presentationinthegroupinterview,aswellpreparedandconfident

regardingheruniversitystudies,isproblematizedinthemoreinformalsettingof

theGELLinterview.

SS4-MyMuslimidentityandfutureconcerns

WhenIpickSandraupfromuniversityaboutoneweekafterthebeginningofthe

semesterwechatinthecarabouthersummerjobandaboutlifeandprogressin

SaudiArabia.SandradefendsherSaudiMuslimidentity:“weareMuslimcity”

andemphasisestheimportanceofkeepingandsaving“ourreligion”asit“gives

youanidentity”.Sheemphasisesthesignificanceoflearninglanguagesfora

Muslimandtheobligationto“sharewith”and“love”non-Muslims(pre-SS4:

FN3).MuchofSS4isthentakenupwithSandra’sconcernsaboutdoing

charitableworksinherlifewithaviewtobeingagoodMuslim,ascanbeseen

belowinSmallStory3.

SmallStory3(SS4:2-3)The‘Muslimnarrative’(AppendixB3:344-346)

Inthe‘Muslimnarrative’Sandra’ssubjectpositionasaMuslimpervadesallaspects

ofherself-presentation.Sheisdismissiveofherstudiesandherformerlystated

motivesofbecomingatranslatorarereplacedbythoseofgettingtoheavenand

obtainingaposthumousreputationforhercharitableworks.LearningEnglishis

presentedaspartofherpurposetobeagoodMuslimasisherdutifulorientationto

herparentsandherinabilitytolivewithoutherfamily.Ourinteractionchanges

footing:Sandra,indidacticmode,positionsmeasthe‘other’whoneedstobemade

awareofSandra’sMuslimidentity.SandranavigatesherMuslimidentityin

interactionwithmebyresistingandreachingouttoher‘outsider’audience.She

superimposesher‘self-as-Muslim’agendaonmypersistentinquiriesabouther

academicandprofessionalgoals.Atthesametimeasresistingmyagenda,sheis

reachingouttome,thenon-Muslim‘outsider’,inhercontinuedemphasisonthe

humanitarianaspectsofbeingaMuslim,hervoicedapprovalofthegoodworksofa

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Westernnon-Muslimcelebrity,AngelinaJolie,andhercriticismofmanyMuslims

whosheclaimsareindifferenttohumansuffering.

HerperformanceisalsoanexpositionofheridealfutureselfasaMuslim

philanthropist.Shemovesfrommystudyandworkconcernstoherhigherpurpose

ofbuildinghomesforpoorpeoplesothattheywillrememberherafterherdeath(9-

11);sheevengivesthesepoorpeopleavoice:

14 “Sandrashewasagoodperson15 andthenshemakeallthisforus”

Sandraissingle-mindedinbuildinghercaseforseekingrewardsforhergooddeeds

intheafterlife.Shepositionsmeasknowinglittleofherreligiouscultureandtreats

metoashortlectureusingIslamictermsinArabic.InordertocheckthatIam

keepingupwithherperformance,shetwiceasksmeifI’veunderstood(16,44).Istill

insistontryingtobringbacktheoldSandra,theonewhowasconsideringdoinga

master’sdegreeabroad(46-49).Sheacceptsthatshedidtellmethatoncebutnow,

inlinewithherMuslimself,sheforegroundstheIslamicpatriarchalruleofmaḥram:

thatshedoesnothaveamaleguardiantoaccompanyherabroad:

51 butmyfatherheisnotallowforme52 becauseIdon’thaveabigbrother53 I’mtheonlyone

Sandraalsouseshermother’sauthoritativevoicetodefineherasthekindofperson

whodoesnotstrayfromherfamily(56-57).Inordertoconvincemeoftheaccuracy

ofhermother’sdescription,shetellsmethestoryofatimeshewasalonewithher

grandfatherintheholycityofMedinaandsufferedgreatlybecauseshemissedher

motherandhalf-sisters(60-67).IsidestepSandra’sself-positioningasaconventional

youngMuslimwomanwhenIpersistininquiringaboutherworkprospects(69-71).

Sheisvagueaboutherfuturejob:whilesheexpressesherwishforajobwhich

allowshertomaintainherEL2,sheisadamantaboutherlackofambitionrelatingto

work(79-82).Thismakesherreturntoherphilanthropicaimappearmoreemphatic:

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83 Ijustwanttomakesomethingforpoorpeople

Sandrarelatesananecdotetojustifythisaimtohelpthepoorratherthanfocuson

hercareer:itconcernstwosmallAfricanchildrenscavengingforsomethingtoeatin

arubbishheap(85-86,88-91).Sheemphasisesherdistressatwitnessingthispitiful

scene(92-94),whichshereportsbacktohermother(95).

FinallySandrabringsthenarrativebacktoherself-presentationasaresponsibleand

compassionateMuslimbutnowherwordshaveacriticaledge:sheclaimsthatSaudi

Muslimsaregenerallyindifferenttothesufferingofthepoorwhilethenon-Muslim

celebrity,AngelinaJolie,hasdone“manygoodthingsforthepeopleinsideAfrica”

(108).Bylinkingherselftoanon-Muslimwomaninwantingtohelpthepoor,Sandra

claimsanidentityasanenlightened,outward-lookingMuslimwhoembracescontact

withtheoutsideworld.InthecontextofourinteractionSandraperformsaroleas

definerofherIslamicboundaries(“myIslam”-101)butalsoasopenandreceptive

towardsme,thenon-Muslim‘other’.

WhenIsteerherbacktoadiscussionregardingherfirstweekatuniversity,she

doesnotexpressanylinguisticanxieties,onlyaworryaboutherdealingswith

teachers.Sheappearsreceptivetolearninginadifferentway;specificallyin

AcademicCriticalSkills(ACS),sheexpressesappreciationofa“useful”(SS4:4)

tasktheteacherhassetonpresentingheropinionofanewsitemontheinternet.

Shealsoexpressesfeelingsofself-efficacyonwritingareportaboutanenjoyable

novelshehasread.However,ingeneral,Sandraseemsintentongraduatingas

soonaspossibleandexpressesmutedenjoymentofhercourses.Shecreatesan

ironic,andpossiblyprovocative,distancebetweenuswhensheimpressesonme,

asamaturePhDstudent,herneedtocompleteherstudieswhenstillyoung:

S:…IwanttostudyeverythinginshorttimeandquicklybecauseIwanttoarrivetomygoalwhenIamstill3132likethat.Doyouunderstandme?(K:Yes)YesbecauseIdon’twanttobeabigwomanandIstillstudy.(S-SS4:2)

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SS5-Problemsoftheuniversityfledgling

FromthebeginningofSS5Sandraexpressessomeconcernaboutstudyingnew,

generalsubjectsinEnglish:

S:…inEnvironmentwhentheteachersayanythingIfeellikemybrainstopthinkingandIjustwanttorelateittogetherbecauseIneedtounderstandwhatshesay.Butit’sfineIcanal-ḥamdulillāhIcanpasstheway. (S-SS5:1)

Sandraiscomposedinherperformance,althoughsheisdiscussinghermajor

probleminunderstandingherteachers.Astheinterviewprogressesshe

increasinglyexpresseshowdifficultsheisfindinghercourses.Sheappearsto

changeherorientationtowardsthePP:“IthoughtIlearnedinthePPmany

things”(SS5:6):nowshesayssheseesitasonlyhelpinghertoimproveher

English:“allmythingsIlearninthePPnowIspeakEnglishwell.ThisisallthatI

think”(SS5:6).Sandrapresentstheideathatshehasimprovedonherlanguage

buthaslittleknowledgeasanotherpersonalrevelation:

S:IunderstandIdon’tknowanything.IthoughtIknowmanythingsbutnowIknowyouknowwhatlikeyaʿnīcertainlyIknowaboutmyself[laughs]thatIdon’tknowanything[Klaughs].Iwasjusthaveagoodlanguagelikethat (S-SS5:6)

WhenIaskifSandrafeelsherEnglishisgoodenoughtodowellinheruniversity

courses,inanattempttogethertobringherlanguageleveltobearonher

subjectlearning,shegivesmeasubduedandcharacteristicallystoicresponse:

“It’sfine.It’snotwellyaʿnībutit’sfine[smalllaugh].Ithelpmetounderstand

things”(SS5:7).Sandrapresentsanunmotivatedselfasafreshmanstudentatthe

endofSS5whichsheexplainsisduetoherjusttakinggeneralcourses“justwork

justwork”andnotstudyinghermajor,Translation.

SS6-Moderatesuccessinfacingnewchallenges

InSS6,almosttwomonthslater,sheclaimsthathermotivationhasreturned:

nowherobjectivesaretobeagoodtranslatorandtobeagoodEnglishspeaker.

SandradevelopedanapatheticsideinSS5,nowhermoodseemsliftedandher

tonemoreenthusiasticaboutheruniversitystudies.Inspiteofthis,her

commentsonherEnglishabilityseemtoreflectaratherpoorself-rating:“butin

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Englishformeit(Psychology)ishardbecauseI’mnotgoodwellinEnglish

becauseIgetconfusedbutIcanyaʿnītry”(SS6:5).ItisacademicEnglishwhich

Sandraseemstobesayingshefindsdifficult,indeedinherconstructivecriticism

ofPP2,shesuggeststheyhelpstudentspreparemoreeffectivelyforuniversityby

introducingmoreacademicvocabulary,teachingstudentshowtowritenotesin

Englishquickly,gettingthemtoreadcompletebooksandactuallyintroducing

themtothesubjectsandtothetaskstheyarerequiredtodoatuniversityin

English.

Sandraappearstotakeonteachers’voiceswhenshesuggestshowsheis

responsibleformakingsureshekeepspractisingEnglishoutsidetheclassroom

atuniversity:shemust“readanythinginEnglish”(SS6:5),listencarefullyand

writedowninformationshehearsonTVmedicalprogrammesandspeakEnglish

withherfriendsandmembersofherfamilyathome,inotherwords“workupof

myselfwithmyself”(SS6:6).Sandraechoesthesewordsinoneofher

contributionstoNour’sSS6,speakinginherACS’steacher’svoice:“Ifyour

Englishisweakoryouhavesomeprobleminlanguagegoworkupwith

yourself.”(No-SS6:5).Sandraassimilatesthisuniversityorientationtowards

independentEnglishlearningintohernarrativeofgreatermaturityandstrength

‘togoitalone’.

Sandracontinuestopresentherselfasthequietmemberoftheclassroomwho

preferstolearnbylisteningtotheteacherratherthanbytalking.Sheadoptsa

stern,moreurgenttonewithherself,using“must”inherspeechaboutthe

importanceofgettingoverhershynesstospeakEnglishinclass:

K:…doyoufeelthat(shy)?S:Yeah,ofcourseIfeelthatbutI’mnotinthiscollegeyaʿnītofeelyaʿnī(P)[voicebreaksup]I’mnowonmywaytolearnEnglishandtobegoodspeakingEnglish.BecauseofthatyaʿnīImustdon’tfeelshybutImustsaytomyselfyaʿnī“Iwillbelikeher(agoodstudent).”(K:Ahyesinthefuture)yesformethisisbetter.NowIfeelshyIsaytomyself“don’tbeshyyaʿnīyou’restudyingitnowyaʿnīdon’tbeshy”(S-SS6:6-7)

184

Therepetitionandhesitancyofherself-motivatingvoiceseemtoindicatethe

increasedbutunsureeffortSandraisexpressinginhergoaltoimproveher

English.Hersenseofindividualresponsibilityasalanguagelearnercomesacross

quitestrongly.Shealsoshowsalackofconfidenceinherspeakingwhenshetells

meshesitsinthefrontrowsoshecananswertheteacherquietly.Ichallenge

SandraatthispointwhenItellherthatIobservedherinteractingquite

vociferouslywiththeteacherintwoofthePP2classactivities.Sherepliesthat

sheonlytalksifsheisamongfriendsinclassasshethenfeelscomfortable.

Helpingeachotherandlearningfromoneanotheraspeersnowappearstobe

importanttoSandra;shehasmovedonfrompresentingherselfascounsellorand

advisortoothers.SheneedspeerhelpinACSbecausealthoughsheconsiders

herselfagoodwriter,shestillmakesmanymistakesinwrittenEnglish.

Inherfinalpresentationofherimaginedfutureself,Sandraseesherselfas

professionaltranslatorbutdoesnotfocusonherELLUidentity.Whileresisting

butthenresigningherselftofamilypressurestogetmarried,sheemphasisesher

prioritiesofowningherprivatehomeandoftakingcareofhernewbabyhalf-

brother,towhomsheappearsdevoted.Whilefamilyisnotpresentedasin

conflictwithherprofessionalaspirations,Sandradeliberatesoverworkingfrom

herofficeathomeorinacompany.Shecommunicatesherdilemmastomeasa

Saudiwomanaccommodatingtoherenvironment“becauseyouknowthelife

hereisnotlikeoutside”(SS6:8)andhermusingoverfuturetravelabroadis

expressedmerelyasanindividualwish.ThusSandracreatesacleardemarcation

linebetweenSaudiandoutsidecontexts.

6.3.3Studentidentity

6.3.3.1Acquiringastudentself

Sandraspeaksofherstudentselffrommorematurevantagepointsasshe

progressesthroughtheinterviews.Inthepre-transitionalinterviewsherstudent

selfbeginstoblossominparalleltoherlanguagelearnerselfasshenarratesher

PPexperiences.Onceatuniversity,shetalksaboutheradjustmentstonew

subjects,newteachers,newclassmatesandacademicEnglish.However,inSS5,

Sandraconstructsaconflictedandcontradictorystudentself:whileshowing

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someengagementandenjoymentinherstudies,shepresentsherselfasan

unmotivatedfreshmanstudent.BySS6sheappearsmorecontentandbetter

adjusted,butshedoesnotlosesightofherpersonal,longer-termgoals,inwhich

beingastudentisonlyonestageofherlife.

6.3.3.2Developingmaturity

AtthePPandatuniversitySandrapresentsherpastschoolstudentexperience

asaseriesofpersonalexperiences,ratherthanasthoseofamemberofastudent

body.Thedepictionsofherformallanguagelearningenvironments,andher

relationshiptothem,changethroughtheinterviewsasshedevelopsamore

maturestudentidentity.Forexample,inSS1Sandratendstocaricatureschool

Englishteachers,whereasinSS5herdescriptionsofschoollearningappearmore

reflectiveandcritical.ThePPalso,intheearlyinterviews,ispresentedasasite

forsuccessfulandself-fulfillinglanguagelearningbutinSS5Sandraappears

dismissiveandevencontemptuousofthePPaspreparationforuniversitystudy.

BySS6,SandraispresentingmewithalistofsuggestedimprovementsforthePP

fromhervantagepointasamoreexperienceduniversitystudent.

Inthepre-transitioninterviews,Sandraseemstotakeonherstudentroleand

responsibilityatthePPeasilyinherstride.InPP2sheshowsthatshevaluesher

languagestudies:sheembracesthenewtypeofEFLlearningactivitiesand

appreciatesherteachers,especiallyherSpeakingandListeningteacher.She

constructsherstudentidentityasdistinctfromother‘lazy’studentswhowould

rathercheatthanstudyhard.IntheGELLinterviewshecommentedthat‘Study

hard’isveryimportantforlearningEnglishexceptif“you’recheating”,whichis

verycommon.She,ontheotherhand,isamorededicatedstudent:“Ineedto

studywell,tounderstand,toknowwhatit’sabout.Skip,skip,skip,it’snotgood.”

(GELL:2).Sandraalsoreferstoherselfaspartofthegroup:sheisonlyinPP2but

presentsherselfasalreadyauniversitystudent:“wefeelwearenowbigandand

we’reinuniversity.Theteacherwhentheywhentheytalkwithusnottalkwith

uslikewhenwewasinhighschool”(SS1:8).

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Thisgreatersenseofmaturityandindependencebuildsupoverthepost-

transitioninterviewsbutherexperienceispresentedasapersonalone.Partof

beingatuniversityislearningto‘goitalone’:“BeforeIwasafraidbutnowno

yaʿnījustgoalonetomyclassandthenIchangeIgotoanotherclass’(SS4:4).

HoweverinSS5Sandrapresentsherstudentselfratherdifferently:theburdenof

newresponsibilitiesandthehigherexpectationsofuniversitystudyappearto

aggravatetheapatheticdispositionshenarrates.BySS6Sandraappearstohave

settledsomewhatintoherroleasuniversitystudent.Sheshowsherappreciation

ofthenecessityofworkingindependently:“Imustworkonmyselfyaʿnīthisat

least”(SS6:3)andacceptsgroupworkaspartandparceloftheuniversity

classroom:“IcannotsayIwanttoworkalonebecausethisisnotsomethingIcan

choose”(SS5:6).However,sheexpressesheracquiescenceironically:“OKit’sfine

OKOKit’sfine[speedingup]OKOK”(SS5:6).

WhilesheclaimedinSS5that,asafreshmanstudent,notstudyinghermajorwas

thereasonforherlackofmotivation,nowsheseemstopatientlyacknowledge

theimportanceofthegeneralcourses,asifsheismoretrustingoftheuniversity

system:

K:Areyoustillunhappythatyou’renotstudyingTranslation?S:NoIcanwaitbecauseImusttakeeverythingstepbystepyaʿnīisnowIstudyTranslationmaybeIwillnotgetwellbecauseIdon’thaveenoughbackgroundaboutthatyaʿnīImusttakethissemesterandwewilltakeitnextyear (S-SS6:3)

WhileSandra’sself-presentationasafunctioninguniversitystudentinherfinal

interviewindicategreateradjustmentsandincreasedmotivation,inalater

informalchatshedescribesherselfas“deepdepressed”(S-FieldNotes:11)and

asdependentonextraworkorexaminationresitswhichsomesympathetic

teachersarrangeinordertomaintainapassmark.Thismoreprivate,‘backstage’

presentationcreatesanotherlayerofidentity,inadditiontothemorepublic

presentationoftheinterview.

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6.3.3.3Definingherstudentrole

InSS4,inwhichSandrawasmostlyconcernedwithherMuslimidentityand

futurelife,shepaidlittleheedtoherstudies.Interestingly,itisnotacademic

studyinEnglishwhichworriesherinherself-presentationatthebeginningof

theuniversitysemester:itisherprideindealingswithherteachers.Shevoices

herconcernthat:“incollegeiftheteacherdidn’tlikeyouforanyreasonshewill

notletyoupasstheexam”(SS4:1).InSS5Sandracontinuestopresentherself,

somewhathumorously,asthekindofstudentwhoalwaystriestobeniceto

teachers,againimplyingthatherrelationshipwiththeteacherisanimportant

factorratherthanlevelofworkingainingapassmark.However,shealso

displayshervaryingorientationtoteachersintermsofinstitutionalhierarchy

andofthe‘credibility’ofthesubjecttheyteach.

SandrarevisitsherschoolstudentidentityinSS5.Sheconstructsherselfasan

ArtsstudentinhighschoolsoshefindsnewsubjectslikeMathandEnvironment

attheuniversityquitedifficult.Nowthatsheisstudyinggeneralacademic

subjectsinEnglishbutnotthelanguageperse,shereviewsherschooleducation

inabroadersense:shecriticisesallschoollearningas“repeating”(SS5:1)and

mocksherschoolstudiesofIslamandPsychologyasbeingtoosimple.Shenow

appearstoreallyvalueheruniversityclassesinIslamicStudiesbyperforminga

moreenlightenedMuslimself:“…withthedoctor,sometimesIfeellikewhenI’m

takingthisclassthatIdidn’tbecomeMuslimbefore”(SS5:1).Sandraclaimsthis

makesherrealisehowbadtheteachingwasatschool.

SandradiscussesherproblemsadjustingtotheuniversityinSS5suchasgetting

usedtonewtypesoftestquestions,studyingfromslidesratherthanbooksand

havingtomakenoteswhiletheteacherspeaks,aswhatshesaysmightcomeup

intheexams.However,herstudiesinACSappeareffectiveandengaginginher

accounts:shedescribesclasstasksinsomedetail,oneinwhichtheydiscussed

problemsstudentsmighthaveatuniversitysuchashowtocopewithpressures

ofwork.Theyhadtowritedowntwosolutions,thenexchangetheirpaperwith

anothermemberofthegroupandfinallydiscusswhichsolutionwasthebestand

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why.However,Sandrapresentsthetaskinadetachedmannerasifshewerean

observerratherthanaparticipant.

TowardstheendofSS5Sandraperformsasubjectpositionasanunmotivated,

lethargicstudent,aconditionwhichsheblamesonherstatusasfreshman:

S:ThisyearIjustputmymotivationinsidemydraweryaʿnī(K:[laughs]why)becauseI’mfreshman,thisisnotmotivationyaʿnī[laughs]justworkjustworkbutmymotivationwillcomeoutfrommydrawerwhenIstart(mymajor)nextyear (S-SS5:7)

Shedescribesherbehaviouras“verylazy”(SS5:10)whichseemsironicwhenshe

has,upuntilnow,separatedherselffromthelazystudents.

6.3.3.3Takingonnewchallenges

InSS6,atthestartofthesecondsemesterofherfreshmanyear,Sandrapresents

herselfasmorechallengedbyuniversitystudyandmoremotivatedtoreachher

goalsofbecomingatranslatorandbuyingherownhouse.Shelocatesherself

firmlyinhersocialcontextasayoungSaudiwomanforwhom“themost

importantthingisthestudy”(SS6:1)andinSmallStory4shepositionsherselfas

oneoftheambitious,youngSaudiwomen.

SmallStory4:(SS6:1-2)The‘MenandWomeninSaudi’narrative(App.B4:346-348)

NowSandra’stranslatorfutureselfappearstoregainmomentumandshepositions

herselfasoneoftheambitiousyoungSaudiwomenwithdefiniteprofessionalgoals.

Shepresentsstrongarguments,usingfirst-handevidence,toinformandpersuade

methatfirstlySaudiwomenaremoreambitiousthanSaudimenandsecondlythat

thecountrydoesnotencourageexcellenceandcreativitywiththeresultthatmost

ambitiousSaudischoosetoliveandworkabroad.Sandraraiseshervoicetoresist

thosewhourgehertoprioritisemarriageoverherstudiesandshealsotakesupa

roleasanable,forcefularguerinhersecondlanguage.Sandrapositionsherself,for

thefirsttime,asanextremelycriticalinformantonhercultureandsocietyandasa

self-sufficientlanguagelearner/user.

189

Tomyinquiryaboutwhethermorewomenormenaredrawntoacareeras

translator,Sandrasetsherselfupasanauthoritativecommentatorongender

differencesinhersociety:

9LookhereinSaudiArabiayaʿnī10 themanhedidn’tfocusjustinonegoallikewomen

Inafast-paced,repetitiveseriesofshortburstsfollowedbyatwo-line‘interview’

withanimaginarySaudiman,Sandraemphasisesmen’swillingnesstotakeupany

job(11-19):

15 MaybehewillgetAccounting16 hegotoMarketing17 hegotoBusiness18“Sowhatisyourgoal”19 [quietly]“Anything”.

Thiscontrastswiththeparallelismsexpressingwomen’sambitionforaspecific

profession(20-25):

21 “Iwanttobeapharmacist”22 “Iwanttobeatranslator”23 “Iwillbeadoctor”yaʿnī

AtfirstSandrapresentsthesegoal-drivenwomenasstrongvoicesinthesocialreality

ofSaudiArabia(24-25,29-30).Thenshepositionsherselfasoneofthem.Inresponse

tothosetraditionalvoiceswhichtrytoconvinceherthatmarriageismoreimportant

thanherstudies(34-35),shesetsherselfupasvoice-in-opposition:

37 “Noformeit’sbetterifIstudyandthengetmyjob38 andthenlooktomylifegetmarriedanything39 Butthemostimportantisstudying”(K:mmm)

Inherreaffirmationofthemen-womendivide,Sandrausestheexampleofhermale

cousinwho,sheclaims,doesn’tcarewhereheworks(41-45)andcomparesthiswith

womenwho“wantworkinaspecificplace”(47).Itisinthecontrastoftherepeated

wordssuchas“justwant”(11,51)and“anything”(14,19,45)todenotemale

apatheticattitudestoworkandwordsexpressingspecificitytodistinguishwomen’s

aspirations,thatSandracreatesanimpact.

190

Sandra’sfocusbeginstochangefromline54:frommale-femaledivisionshemoves

ontothelackofSaudiacademics(“doctors”)atheruniversity(54-56,60-73).She

emphaticallybacksupthispointwithfirst-handobservation(62-63).Sheclaimsthat

eventheSaudi‘doctors’shehasseenareonlyinthecountrytemporarilyandlive

andworkelsewhere.UsingthevoicesofSaudiacademics,Sandracreatesasenseof

rejectionoftheirhomecountry,forexample:

71 “IwasinAmerica.IwasinLondon.Ilivethere 72 Ijustcomehereyaʿnīforfewdays 73 andthenIwillcomebackthere.”

NowshebroadensoutherargumenttoincludeallambitiousSaudimenwhohave

chosentoleavethecountrytoliveandworkabroad(74-78)becausenothinghere

helpsthemachievetheirgoals.

InamorepoliticalveinSandrablamesthelackofopportunitieswhichdiscourage

inventiveSaudimenandwomenfromstayinginthecountry.Sheidentifiesherselfas

aSaudiwhoexperiencestheexistingdeficiencies:“Herewedon’thaveacentrefor

invention,wedon’thave”(88)andcomparesthistothesituationinAmericawhere

“theyhaveacentreforeverything”(90).Herstancethenbecomesdecidedlyanti-

governmentandinamovingmetaphorshedescribesthenegativeeffectsofthe

governmentonSaudipeople:

94 thegovernmentareupsetthepeoplehereinSaudiArabia 95K:thegovernmentupsetthepeople 96S: upsetit’smeanyaʿnībroketheirdreams.AtthispointIswitchthetopicofconversationbacktoSandra’spersonalmotivation

asherdiscoursevergesonthecountry’spolitics,anareawhichIamkeentoavoid.

InthisnarrativeSandrapositionsherselfasvocal,criticalcommentatoronelements

inhersocietyandpositionsmeastheforeigninformation-seekerwhomshetakes

intoherconfidence.Ispeaklittleandtendtopositionherasareliableinformant

ratherthananEL2speaker.Furthermore,whenIdosuggestanEnglishword(87)

191

andcorrectherverbform(93)Sandraappearstoignoremysuggestions,thus

claiminganidentityasaconfidentproficientEL2user.Sandra’spoliticaloutburstat

thebeginningofSS6comesasasurprisesincemostofhernarrativesfocusmore

narrowlyonherselfandhersmallworldoffamilyanduniversity.Hercreativeuseof

multiplevoices,repetitionetc.helpstocreateapowerfulimpactasshenavigatesan

identityforherselfinhersocioculturalcontextasanambitiousyoungSaudiwoman

whorejectsmastergenderdiscoursesbyprioritizinghereducation,careerand

personaldevelopmentovermarriage.

Sandrathenlooksbackatthefirstuniversitysemesterasoneinwhichshe

accomplishedverylittleandclaimsshewaseventhinkingaboutgivingup

universitycompletely.

S:...reallyIdon’tknowthereasonwhythissemesterIfeelit’smoreexcitingbutthelastsemesteryaʿnīthefirstthingitwastoolongitwassoboringalsoyaʿnīmycollegesometimesIfeelthatkhalāṣyaʿnī(that’sit)Idon’tliketostudyanymore.Idon’tknowwhyyaʿnī (S-SS6:2)

Nowshepresentsherselfasmorefocusedandmotivatedeventhoughsheisstill

notstudyinghermajor.Sheconstructsherteachersasfacilitative,forexample

theACSandtheMarketingteachersrepeatwhattheysayandgivestudentstime

towritenotes.InStatisticsshefindsthatshecanfocusonwhattheteacheris

sayingandmakenotesbutinIslamicStudiessheneedstorecordthelectureas

shefindsitdifficulttolisten,understandandmakenotes.However,asSmall

Story5shows,recordingherIslamicclassisnotanacceptableculturalpractice.

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SmallStory5:(SS6:4)The‘IslamicClass’Narrative(AppendixB5:348-350)

InthisnarrativeSandrarelates(12-17,29-32)andevaluates(18-28)apaststrategy

sheusedtohelpherselfwithunderstandingtheIslamicteacher:sherecordedhim

speakinginthefirstclassandthenlistenedtotherecordingathomeuntilshe

understoodwhathehadsaid.Althoughthestrategyseemstohavepaidoff,Sandra

introducesamajorobstructiontorepeatingit:theSaudi“ladies”(19,23)wouldnot

wanttheirvoicesrecorded.Sandrarespectstheirpointofviewandidentifieswith

theirunwillingnesstobe‘heard’asSaudi,Muslimwomen.

Whileherorientationtowardsuniversitystudymightseemsomewhatcontradictory

andinconsistentinSandra’sbignarrative,inthedetailedanalysisoftheIslamicclass

narrative,wecanseeastrategicnarratoratworknavigatingpositionsbetween

engaged,confused,criticalandappreciativestudent,ethicalSaudiyoungwoman

particularlyconcernedwithIslamicissuesandinformantonIslamiceducationand

properIslamicbehaviourforme,hernon-Muslim,‘outsider’audience.Although

SandrasinglesoutherIslamicStudiesclassastheonlysubjectinwhichsheishaving

problems,shepositionsherteacher,DrM,asaninterestingteacher:sheshowsthat

shevaluesboththecontentofhislessons(55-60)andhisstyleofteaching(63-65).It

isthelong,complicatedwordsheuses(5)andhisquietvoice(34,36,67)whichshe

blamesforherdifficulty.Sandratwicecontestsmysuggestionsthattheonusofher

problemfallsontheteacher(3-4,33-34)andattheendshedescribeshimin

affectionateterms:“He’sverylovelyandhe’sverynice”(72).

Sandrapositionsherclassmatesratherdifferentlyfromothernarratives:theyarenot

lazybutworthyofherrespect:

18ButIcan’teveryclassrecord19becausetheyareladies20theyspeaklikethatit’snotgoodyaʿnī21it’snotfineevenifIdeletethisvoice22(K:Isee)yaʿnīit’snotnice.

193

Insteadofdistinguishingherselffromotherstudentsasshefrequentlydoes,nowshe

positionsherselfasoneofthem:

24S:FormeifIseesomeonerecord25Iwillnotspeak(K:really?)

Thisstatement,asanindirectcommentonmydatacollectionmethods,seemshighly

ironicandasSandracontinuesinanIslamicmoralisticvein(26-28),Ifeelculturally

distanced,whileappreciatingherethicalandrespectfulorientationtowardsher

classmates.Herlong,criticalevaluation(18-28)ofrecordingfemalestudentsinclass

canalsobeseenasacommunicationtoinformmeongenderconventionsinSaudi

society:thattheprivate,predominantlyfemalespaceoftheclassroomshouldnotbe

broughtintothepublicarenathroughrecording.

Inresponsetomyrecycledquestionaboutthedifferencesconcerningtheteaching

ofIslamatschoolandatuniversitywithDrM(37-40),Sandradrawsanumberof

cleardistinctions.SheconstructsschoolIslamicclassesasbasic(41-43)and

insufficient(51-52)using“just”fourtimestoemphasisetheirinadequacye.g.“In

schooljusttheyteachmetheimportantthings”(41).Voicesofinstructionatschool

giveprescriptiveorders:

46Youmustcoveryourhair47youmustdothat48thisisḥarām49thisisḥalāl

Ontheotherhand,withDrM,Sandraconstructstheirlessonsasmorevaluableand

lessprescriptive.Nowtheystudyinmoredetail(51-52).Inherperformanceofher

recentIslamicclass,herteacherinterestinglysetsupasituationandasksquestions

aboutitusing“can”ratherthanprescribingcorrectIslamicbehaviourwith“must”as

herschoolteachersdid:

56whatifwhenIwasoutsideandthen57ifIseeabottleofwineinfrontofme58whatIcando,canItouchit?59CanIstayonthetable,theoneithave?

194

Sandrapresentstheseaspractical,relevantquestionsandalsoimpliesthatthere

wasdiscussionintheclassroom:“Likethatwewassay”(60).Sheexpressesher

approvalofDrM’s‘ask-discuss-explain’teachingprocedure(63-65).

ShealsoclaimsthatDrMallowsstudentstoopenlydisagreewithhiminclass(68-

72).This‘face’ofanIslamicteacheriscertainlydistantfromtheschoolstereotype:

DrMisdescribedasapproachableandevenhis“low”voicemakeshimseemgentle

anduncontrolling.Sandra’spositioningofthemaleteacherinanall-femaleclassis

interestingasthisisthefirsttimethatmostofthestudentswouldhavebeentaught

face-to-facewithamaleteacher.Instateuniversitiesmaleteachersstillteachtheir

femaleclassesoverclosedcircuittelevision.Male-femalereligiousdiscussion,

outsidethefamily,wouldberareinthissegregatedcultureandSandrapositions

herselfasayoungSaudiwomanwhowouldnotfeelcomfortablebeingrecordedin

thissituation.AtthesametimeSandrapositionsherselfaspartofagradualopening-

upprocessinwomen’suniversityeducationinhertakingonboardpractical,relevant

contentareasanddiscursiveclassroompracticesinreligiousteaching.

6.3.4Counsellor/Psychologicalself

6.3.4.1PotentialPsychologystudent

Sandrafirstalertsmetoherpassionforpsychologyintheinformalinterviewin

whichshepresentsherinterestaspurposeful:sheclaimsshefirststarted

readingaboutpsychologyinordertohelpherselfcopewithherown

dysfunctionalfamilyproblemsandshedescribeshermotiveforwantingto

pursueadvancedstudiesinPsychologyastohelpotherscopewithsimilar

problems.AlthoughshefirstvoicesherintentiontostudyPsychologyat

universityonceherEnglishhasimproved,bySS2sheisalreadycomplaining

aboutthelong,difficultwordsinherPPPsychologystudiesandattheendofthe

PPyearsheclaimsthatherEnglishisstillnotgoodenoughtopursue

undergraduatestudiesinPsychology.

195

Thepost-transitioninterviewstellastoryofSandra’sgradualdemotivation

regardingtheacademicstudyofPsychologydueinparttothelinguisticdemands

ofstudyingthesubjectinEnglish.Interestingly,SandraclaimsinSS5thatothers

whoknowherthinkthatsheisastudentofPsychology:

AlsomyunclesandmostofmyfriendsthinkI’mstudyingthat(Psychology)butI’mnotstudyingthatyaʿnībutthat’swhatIfeelforyou(K:it’sanunderstanding)yeahbecauseIunderstandedyoubutbecauseofthat(K:yeah)I’minterestedbutnotdeepinside.(S-SS5:3)

Alsoinourfinalinterview,Sandraclaimsthatsheislessinterestedinthesubject

andhasstoppedreadingpsychologybooksathome.However,sheexpressesher

eagernesstoregisterforageneralstudiescourseinPsychologyeventhoughitis

notarequirementforhermajor,astheyarestudyingchildren’spsychologyand

shehasapersonalinterestinthis:“…becauseIhavelittlebrotherandIneedto

knowwhatyouhavetodo”(SS6:3).

6.3.4.2Counsellor

Sandrafrequentlytakesupapositionofcounsellorofothersandappearstofind

somepersonalfulfilmentinthisrole:forexampleinSS2shepresentsherselfas

aninternetresearcheronpsychologyinEnglishsothatshemayhelpherteenage

stepbrotherwithhis‘obsession’withgirls.ThusbecomingabetterEnglish

readerandresearchercanbeseentolinktoSandra’sdesiretohelpotherswith

theirproblems:

K:…SowhatdoyoulookupontheinternetS:I’mjustlookingforinformationaboutpsychologybecauseIhavemystepbrotherhestayinhishomehehavesomeproblems.IjustwanttoknowhowwhatIcandowithsomeonewhohavetheseproblems.I’mjustlookingandsearchinginEnglish.I’mnotsureifIunderstandeverythingbutIcanunderstandsomething. (S-SS2:1)

SimilarlyinSS5Sandrapresentsherselfasacounsellortoamalefriend.

However,nowherdesiretohelpseemstobelinkedtohumaninterestrather

thananydeeperinterestinpsychology.Asacharacterinherdialogueshe

performsherselfashavingspecialinsightandunderstandingofpeople:

Thereismyfriendwhenhespeaktomeyouknownoonecanknowifheissadorno.WhenhetalktomeIlovethat.Itellhim

196

“Whyareyousad”Hetellme“Nothing.”Itellhim“Noyouhaveaproblem.” (S-SS5:3)

Herroleascarerofheryoungstepsiblingsalsotransferstoherlearningcontext

asshesupportsandadvisesfriendsandpeersonstudymattersandpersonal

problems.Forexample,sheperformsaquasi-teacherroleinheraccountof

helpingaPP1studentinherhome:“ItrytotogivehermorevocabularyandItell

hersummarizethisandmemorizethis,dolikethat,alwayslikethat”(SS1:11)

andinSS3sheactsasadvisortoafriendwhoasksforheropinionofSharifaand

Sandrarecommendsthatsheapplytotheuniversity.Thishelper/counsellorrole

whichSandratakesoncanbeseenaslinkedtotheperformanceofherMuslim

identityashelperofthepoorandtoherroleassupporterinNour’sfinal

interviewinwhichSandrapositionsherselfasinterpreter,supplierofEnglish

vocabularyandascorrectorforNour.

6.3.4.3Psychologicalself

MostofallSandrapresentsherselfasaninteresting‘psychological’case

throughouttheinterviews.Althoughsheneverreachesadeeplevelofself-

analysis,shetendstoviewher‘self’ashavingfixedpredilectionsand

characteristicswhichshetracesbacktoherparentsandherearlytroubled

childhood.Sandrapresentsadifferentaspectorproblemofselfininterviews

suchasherproblematicfirstlanguagepositioninSS2andherapathetic

dispositionandbehaviourinSS5.However,herself-descriptionsandself-

presentationscanbeconflictingandcontradictory.

Sandratendstouseapsychologicallenstodescribeherself.Sheemphasisesthe

sourceofanyparticularpsychologicalissuebygoingbacktoherchildhoodor

attributingwhatshepresentsasherflawstoherpasttroubledfamilylife.Links

areevenmadewithherEnglishlearning,forexampleinherinformalinterview

sheattributesherfailuretolearnnewwordsinEnglishtohernervous

disposition.Asnarrator,Sandraisoftenanobserverofself:however,inspiteof

hercontinualassurancesofunderstandingherself(“Iknowmyself”)shetendsto

presentherpsychologicalcharacteristicsasunfathomable.

197

ShedrawslinksbetweenherdisruptivefamilybackgroundandEnglishlearning:

inacriticalchildhoodepisodeshedepictsheruncleasasignificantadultusing

Englishfortherapeuticpurposes.Inhernarrativeshetellshimoftheproblems

shewashavingwithherstepmotherwhilestilllivingwithherfatherandhegives

herusefulandcomfortingadvice.Sandrapresentstheseconversationswithher

uncleasakindofbreakthroughinherlanguagelearning:

S:HeisspeakArabicbutalwayshespeakEnglishandatsometimeIwasfeelsomethingdifficultbecauseIcan’tgetwhatdoeshemeanandthenafterIpracticelikethatnowIcanunderstandhim. (SS1:4)

Sandrapresentsherselfashavingafearfuldispositiontowardsnew,unfamiliar

situationswhichoftenconflictwithherexpressionsofwellbeing.Forexample,in

theinformalinterview,shetellsmethatsheremembersfeelinganxiousand

“afraid”(Inf.Int.:2)formuchofthetimeatschoolandsheattributesthistoher

troubledhomelife.InSS1shealsoreportsfeeling“scaredfromthestudy”(SS1:7)

beforeshestartedthePP,asshewasworriedaboutlearningthroughEnglish.

ThenwithsomereliefinhervoiceshepresentsherselfasasatisfiedPPstudent.

SimilarlyinSS3,whilebaskingintheself-confidenceandwell-beingwhichshe

connectstoherEnglishlearning,shealsovoicesherfearsaboutfindingouther

finalPPresults:“UntilnowIdidn’topenmyBlackboardbecauseI’mafraidbutI

feelthatIdowellthistimebutI’mstillafraidtoseemygrade(SS3:1).

Sandrafrequentlypresentsherindividualsituationtomeinrelationtoher

personality,dispositionandbehaviourascurious,unusual,interestingandeven

amusing.AttheendofSS5forexample,Sandradevelopsanarrativeofselfasan

unmotivatedandapatheticfreshmanstudent:thisisSmallStory6.

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SmallStory6(S-SS5:9-10)The‘ApatheticDisposition’narrative(AppendixB6:350-352)

InthisnarrativeSandracastsherselfasatragi-comicfigurepassingthroughananti-

socialanddemotivatedphaseduetoherinabilitytocopeandtoherfearoffailureat

university.Apartfromherratherdesperateself-motivatingstatementsofintentionto

workharder(9-12)Sandradoesnotcomeupwithanystrategiestohelpherselfand

seemstobeonthebrinkofgivingupherstudies.Shepresentsthissituationtomeasa

changeinorientationprecipitatingagenerallyapatheticdisposition.Typically,Sandra

performsherselfasacurious,psychologicalcaseandillustratesherapathetic

dispositioninthreedifferentratherfarcicalsituationssetatuniversityandinhospital.

AtthebeginningofthenarrativeSandrasemstohavehitrock-bottominheraccountof

herprogressasauniversitystudent.Shegivesadesperateperformanceofimpending

failure(4-7)andherappealstoAllahtohelpmotivateherarevoicedinamonotoneand

inaseriesofparallelisms(9-12),inwhichworkingharderseemstobeheronlycoping

strategy.Sandrathenmovesontoherisolationnarrative(17-27).Inheruniversity

contextsheexplainsthatnowshepreferstostayaloneduringherbreaksandwillnot

evenmaketheefforttogotothecafeteriawhensheishungry.Althoughthecontentof

hertalkseemsnegative,Sandra’sperformanceisnot:

28 AlsoifI’mhungry29 I’llcutmylegbeforegoingtodining30 [Klaughs]andthencomeback31 Iwillneverdoit

Sandrausesexaggerationandhyperboletomakeheraccountofselfamusing.Ina

dialoguewithaclassmatethisbuildstoSandra’samusedexpressionsofafarcicallevel

oflaziness(37-40).Atthisstagesheexplainsherbehaviourasanissueofpersonal

maturityintermsofuniversityexpectations:

43 notbecauseofthisuniversityitself,no44 becauseofme45 becauseI’mnowintheuniversity46 becausenowI’mbig47 Imusttakemoreresponsibilitylikethat(K:mmm)

199

Thenherexplanationstakeamorepersonalturninthatshedescribeshersurfeitof

patienceasafixedpersonalitycharacteristicbutinherexampleandrhetoricalquestion

concerningnotvisitingthedoctoroverherpainfularm,sheseemstobepresenting

herselfaslong-sufferingratherthanpatient.Inherself-declaration“LikethatIam”and

intracinghertraitbacktochildhood,sheconstructsaunitary,stableself:

65K:Soisthisjustnow66 orfromSeptember?67S: Nonono.Iamlikethat68 sinceIwassmallyaʿnī69 SincethetimeIcometothislifeIamlikethat

Sandraclaimsthatuniversityhasaggravatedherconditionandgivesmethreemore

shortdialogues(72-75,76-79,83-86)toillustrateher‘lazy’disposition.Herspeechrate

quickensasshedismissesherfriendandherauntiewhoinsistsonheraskingfor

Panadolandongettingwaterforherwhenshehasaheadache.Sandraactsherown

rolewithaffectationandindifferencetocontrastwithheraunt’svoiceofconcern.I

participatelittleinSandra’smonologic‘display’ofherapatheticdispositionexceptto

suggestreasonsandwordstodescribehercondition:howeveronfouroccasionsSandra

rejectsthese(25,43,67,81),thuspositioningherselfasaself-sufficientEL2speaker

whocangiveanaccurateself-descriptionsupportedbyanecdotaldialoguesinorderto

aidmyunderstanding.Iinsistonviewingherapathyasaresultofherfreshmanposition

andSandrafinallyagreesthatshewillcomeoutofherlethargicstatethefollowingyear

whenshestudieshermajorsubject.ThusSandraframesthetransitionalprocessnotas

acomingtotermswithlinguistic,academicandsocialpressuresbutasanindividual

challengetoherpersonality,dispositionandmaturity.

Sandraisconsistentinherself-presentationasanindividualwithpersonality

traits:sheisalistenerandnotatalkerandclaimsshehasbeenlikethis“sinceI

wassmall”(SS1:9).IntheuniversityclassroomSandraclaimsshenevertalksbut

justlistensandeveninourinterviews:“youjusttellmeanythingIjuststayand

listenthat’smeyaʿnī”(SS4:4).Similarly,inourfinalinterviewSandrastilllabels

herselfinthisway:“I’mveryveryquiet”(SS6:6).Theseself-descriptionsconflict

200

withmyobservationsofherparticipationintwoPPactivitiesandinher

interactionwithme:inourinterviewsandinformalconversationsitisSandra

whodoesmostofthetalking.

6.3.5Aquietloner

Sandrapresentsherselfinherinformalinterviewasanonlychildinthesenseof

havingnofullbrothersorsisters.Althoughsheclaimssheisnotclosetoeither

parent,shedemonstratesaratherintense,erraticrelationshipwithhermother.

Herrelationshipwithherfatherremainsdistantwhileherintermittentrole

modelsappeartobehergrandfatheranduncles.Thissenseofbeingaloneinthe

worldofherfamilypervadesthepre-transitioninterviewsandcanbeseento

spilloverintoherpresentationofherselfasalonerinherlanguagelearningand

herstudying.

SandraexpressesherpreferenceformixingonlywithheroldPPfriendsinSS5.

Howeversheclaimsthatsheneverseesanyofthemoutsidecampusasshenever

wantstogooutoncesheisathome.Shedefinesherselffirmlyas‘notthekindof

girl’wholikesgoingouttopartiesandhavingfun:

S:…I’mnotthesekindofgirlswhoalwaysgetoutalwayshaveapartyjustifyouneedmeI’mhereyaʿnīI’mnotthiskindofgirlyaʿnīI’mveryveryquiet(K:yeah).Ijustsitwithmycousin.(S-SS6:6)

Shealsoresistshermother’scomplaintsthatSandradoesnotanswerhercallsto

hermobilephonebygivingasimilarreason,maintainingheraloofimage:“I’m

nottheonewho’schattingallthetime.Idon’tlikeit”(SS6:8).

Sandratellsmehowshemanipulatedherstay-at-homeimageinorderto

persuadehergrandfathernottosendhertothelocalstateuniversitywhichshe

disliked:

S…mygrandfatherwhenhetellme“youwillgotoKingKhaled(university)”Iwassay“Idon’twanttocompletemystudy.FormenoproblemIstayathome.” (S-SS3:12)

ThenSandrapresentsmewithher‘truer’self,onewholovestostudyandis

passionateaboutlearning.Shetellsmethatshegraduallyconvincedher

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grandfathertoallowhertoattendSharifabytalkingtohimaboutthescholarship

andthebenefitsofstudyingthere.Thisnarrativedrawsmyattentionfurtherto

thepresentationalaspectsofSandra’sself-descriptions:whilelabellingherselfas

a‘stay-at-home’typeandanon-socialiser,herbehaviourandspeechoftenbelie

theselabels.MyfieldnotescontinuallyreflectSandra’soutgoingpersonalityand

hertalkativeness,particularlywithinourrelationshipandinherprivatelife.

Sandradevelopsametaphorinthefinalinterview,whichcouldbeseenas

representingherlonerself:herfuture“specialhome”(SS6:8).IntheGELL

interviewshehadjustifiedherfirstchoiceoflanguagelearnerqualities,

motivation,bydescribingtomeamotivewhichwasdrivinghertostudyhard

andtogetawell-payingjob:hergoalwastobuyhergrandmother’soldhouse

whereshehadspentahappyperiodofherchildhood.Nowwithherrenewed

senseofmotivationandinheraccountofherfutureselfin5years’time,Sandra

returnstoheryearningforthishouse,presentingitasherownprivaterefuge

andperhapsasymbolofpersonalfreedom:

S:Thishouseismydream.FormeyaʿnīI’mapersonseethehouseismyworldformeyaʿnīIloveityaʿnī.AlwaysIfeelifIhavemyprivatehousemyprivatethingIfeelthatismyworldyaʿnīIputeverythingIwantinside. (S-SS6:2)

Thisplacewillbeforherprivateusealone:shemakesitclearthathermotheror

futurehusbandwillnothaveachoiceoverwhattoputinherprivatehouse.On

furtherconsideration,however,sherevisesherimaginedself:“…becauseyaʿnī

myfamilytheywouldn’tletmeafter5yearsjuststayalone.Evennowtheywant

metogetmarried”(SS6:8).Sandrapositionsherselfinoppositiontoherfamily

overgettingmarriedwhilesheisstillatuniversity,butsheseemstoacceptthat

shewouldbelivingwithherhusbandinthefuturewhenshewouldbeworking

asatranslator.Howeversheappropriatesherfuturespace:shewillbeworking

in“myofficeinmyhouse”(SS6:8)and“ifhe(herfuturehusband)needanything

Iwillbeinmyoffice”(SS6:8).

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6.3.6.SummaryofSandra’sbignarrativeandsmallstories

Sandraconstructsanidentityasanindividualratherthanacollectivelanguage

learnerandstudent.Learningispresentedasaseriesofpersonalrevelationsand

acaseofindividualwillandself-knowledge.Furthermore,Sandrararelypresents

herselfengagingwithteachersandpeers;shetendstotakeupadetached,stoic

andpassivepositioninherself-presentation.EvenaftertransitionSandra

explainschangesasapersonalmaturationprocesssheisnavigatingandonly

occasionallydramatizeslinguisticandacademicdifficulties.Newuniversity

experiencesareconstructedaschallengingbutenriching.However,amore

nuancedidentitylayersurfacesinthesmallstoriesandanother,more‘private’

layerinourinformal‘backstage’interactionswhichindicateSandra’sstrugglesat

university.

InsomesmallstoriesSandraexpoundsonherpsychological‘states’whichshe

claimsgobacktoherchildhoodbutinotherspositionsherselfinher

socioculturalcontext.Hersubjectpositionsasmiddle-classsecondlanguage

speaker,as‘enlightened’Muslim,asyoungSaudiwomanwithacademicand

professionalgoals,asmemberofherextendedfamilyandasanti-government

protestor,emergeatdifferenttimesandoftenleadtoachangein‘footing’inour

interactionandpositionmeasoutsider.Theyalsocreateanunstableimagined

identitywhichseemstomovebetweenadesiretobelongtoaprimary

communityoffamily,religionandcultureandacravingforprivatespace,for

learningandforpersonalfulfilment.

InspiteofSandra’sconsistentpresentationasaquietlistenerandloner,inaction

andininteraction,hersecondlanguagevoiceemergesasstrongandprovocative

attimes.Bythesametoken,Sandra’sinsistenceonplayingthestay-at-home,

quietrecluseisbeliedbyhersociablebehaviourininterviewsandconversations.

Conflictingnarrativesexpressingafearofbeingaloneandthosereflectinga

desiretostayalonearebroughtupinthesameconversation;evenatuniversity

Sandraseemstoalternatebetweenexpressionsofsurpriseandjoyatfindingold

friendsinherclasseswithwhomsheenjoysworkingandthoseofrejectionand

apathytowardsanysocialcontact.InspiteofSandra’sSaudi,MuslimandArabic

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identityperformance,thereislittleindicationthatsheengageswithher

universitypeersorthatsheusesstrategiestojoinandworkwithnewlearning

groups.

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CHAPTER7NOUR

Nour:…afterthatmaybe(I)feelgoodstandardmyfamilymydaughter

myselfafterthatmaybeIcontinue(studying)becauseIlikeitthe,mydream:Nourshe’sstudyEnglish(K:OK)yesmydream.IwantgoupandupandupinEnglish(K:butwhy)Idon’tknow.Ithink(because)IseemyunclespeakalittlebitEnglishbecauseheisgointheoutsidecountrygoAmericagoLondongoothercountrymāshāʾAllāhIsee[inpolitetone]“Goodmorning.”Ilikeit.IwantbutIwantmeaning.Iwanttohelpmotherfatherandfamilyandoutsidepeople.Ifeel[withemphasis]thatthepeopleorfamilyorotherpeople(should)understandwhatistheEnglishwhathesaythemanorwomanordoctorsorengineersoranybody(K:helpSaudipeopleunderstand)yesyes.(No-SS6:16)

7.1Ourrelationship

MyfirstimpressionofNourwhenIfirstsawherinthePPclassroomwasofa

lively,bright,verysociableyoungSaudiwomanwithstrikinggoodlooks,aslim

figureandasophisticateddressstyle.Nourwasthelastofmyfourparticipants

tomeetmefortheinformalinterview;herreticenceoverparticipatinginmy

researchwasexplainedtomebyheradvisor,MsL:shedidn’tthinkherEnglish

wasgoodenough.Althoughveryfriendlyandchattywithmewhenwemetby

chanceoncampus,Nourseemedtowanttoavoidaone-on-oneinterviewalone

withme;indeed,onlytwooftherecordedinterviewswereindividualonesand

thesewereshorterthantherest.Thiscouldhavebeenbecauseshewasunsure

aboutherlevelofEnglish,inspiteofreassurancesthatshecouldswitchtoArabic

whenevershefelttheneed.

NourarrivedlateforherinformalinterviewinaPPclassroom,withNevinein

towapparentlyformoralsupport.Nourcomplainedoffeelingtiredandilland

apologisedfornotcompletingthebiodataform.However,sheobviouslyenjoyed

speakingEnglishintheinterviewandmanagedtocommunicateagreatdealof

informationaboutherlifeandherEnglishlearning.Althoughshewasthe

weakestEnglishspeakerofthefour,andoftenusedArabicintheearly

interviews,shewasamostcolourfulandeffectivecommunicatorofideasand

emotionsthroughhercharming,oftenpithy,storytelling.Throughthecourseof

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interviewsandconversationswecametoshareanunderstanding,arespectand

agrowingfondnessforeachother.

7.2.Background

Noursaidshewas21yearsoldatthebeginningoftheresearchperiod,alittle

olderthantheotherthreeparticipants.(seeAppendixF3).Herdivorcedparents

arebothSaudiandsheliveswithhermotherandher5-yrolddaughter.Nobody

inherimmediatefamilyspeaksEnglish,butshedoeshaveacousinwhoisan

Englishteacher.ShehasbeenthroughtheSaudistateschoolsystem.Nour

presentsherlifeastoughinthesenseofgettingmarried,havingadaughterand

workingwhilestillatintermediateschoolsoshecomesacrossinthisfirst

conversationasaheroicsurvivor:sheshowsherdeterminationtoworkhardand

remainindependentinordertomakeagoodlifeforherandherdaughter.

Furthermore,herlongstrugglethroughherowndivorce,thehardshipofbeinga

singlemotherandthefinancialburdensofsupportingherfamilyandofpaying

halfheruniversityfeesherself,setherapartfromtheotherthreeparticipants

andfromthepictureofSaudiwomeningenderdiscoursesprevalentinSaudi

society.

NourexpressesheremotionalattachmenttoEnglishwhichispresentedas

importantforherownfutureparticularlyasherprofessionalgoalistoworkas

aninterpreter.Herresourcefulnessinherquestforlearningisimpressive,such

asprocuringaplaceforherselfonBritishCouncilcoursesrunbythehospital

whereshewasemployedandobtainingascholarshipatSharifa.Nourbuildsa

pictureofherselfprimarilyasadedicatedstudent:itisfinancialnecessitywhich

hasledhertoseekworkinweddinghallsasasingeratweekends.Startingher

universitylifeatSharifaisseenasagreatachievementandaprivilege:“FinallyI

stepintomydream”(InfInt-FN1).Nour’smetaphoricturnofphrasesuggestsnot

onlythatsheisrevealingtomeheraspirationstostudyatuniversitybutalsoher

uniquestyleofdrawingmeintoherpersonalstory.Iamdulycaptivatedby

Nour’sself-presentationandinterestedinfindingoutmoreabouther.

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7.3.Nour’sbignarrativeandsmallstories

7.3.1Overview

AsIwasnotabletosetupthecompleteprogrammeofrecordedinterviewswith

Nour(seeAppendixG3)Ihavehadtobeflexiblewithmychoiceof‘formal’

interactionsfromwhichtodrawherbignarrative.Sinceoursecondindividual

interviewdidnottakeplaceuntilaftertheendofthePPyear,Idecidedtocount

thespontaneous,butaudio-recorded,groupinterviewasNour’sSS2.Likewise,

theinterviewattheendofthefirstuniversitysemester,whichwastheextended

accountofthetransitiontouniversity,becameSS5andanearlierinformal

encounteroncampustooktheplaceofSS4.

IntermsofNour’sprogressionasalanguagelearnerandstudentthereislittle

senseofmovingforwardinspiteofhercontinualself-presentationasa

motivatedandaspiringlearner.Forexample,Nour’sdesperateneedforteacher

andpeersupportisjustaskeenlyexpressedinSS6asitwasinSS1.

Consequently,theinterviewsindicatelimiteddevelopmentandmostreflectthe

difficultiesshecommunicatesateachstage:

10April2012 SS1 Takingnewchallengesonboardwithhelp

25April SS2/Group Urgentneedforspeedyimprovement

24June SS3 Movingclosertomydream

Transitiontouniversity

10Sept SS4 Toomuchonmyplatenow

15Dec SS5 Gettingveryhardbutmotivationunwaned

3Feb2013 SS6 Stillstrugglingtocopewiththenew

Nourpresentsandperformsher‘self’asayoungwomanwithmultipleidentities.

Ihavefoundthatshetakesupthreemainidentitypositionsinadditionto

Englishlanguagelearner/user(ELLU)andstudentwithinthese

constructions.Theseare:socialcommentator,mediatorandmother.Although

Iwillexamineeachoftheseidentitypositionsseparately,theirinterrelatedness

shouldbecomeevidentinmynarrativeanalysis.

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7.3.2EnglishlanguageLearner/user(ELLU)identity

SS1-Takingnewchallengesonboardwithhelp

NourclaimsthatheremotionalattachmenttoEnglishsetherapartfromher

peersatschoolwhohateditbecausetheysawitasunimportantanddifficult.

NourdoesnotappeartovalueherEnglishlanguagelearningatschoolhighlyand

pokesfunatstateschoolteachingandlearning.Sheuseshyperboleanddramatic

ironytoportraytheteachersinSS1narrativesandwithanartfuluseofvoicing

capturestheconflictingpositionsofteacherandstudent:inanearlynarrative,

forexample,sheillustratestheuncaringbehaviourofschoolEnglishteachersina

conversationbetweenastudentandateacher:

No:Idon’tunderstandthemeaning.“What’sthemeaningMiss”“Ohyougothehomeforbookdictionaryortellsomebodywhatisthemeaningorsearchnotmineyaʿnīmushkelatikintīmūmushkelatī(Imeanit’syourproblemnotmine)”.(No-SS1:2)

However,inalaternarrative,thereisadrasticchangeintheteacher’sapproach

becauseshewantsthestudentstograduatefromhighschoolandgoonto

university:

No:…She(Theteacher)needeveryonesuccessful.OK[mimicswhinyvoiceofstudent]“homework,nobecauseI’mscared,sick”“OKIhelpyou.”[Inwhinyvoice]“Ohit’swrongInotunderstand.”“OKOK.Iputthe5marks.OKgo.”(No-SS1:4)

Nouralsorelatestheexceptionalcaseofahighschoolteacherwhotriedto

impressonherstudentstheimportanceoflearningEnglish.Hervoiceblends

withNour’swhichshowsherinfluenceperhapsonNour’sinvestmentinherEL2:

No:ShewantstudentliketheEnglish.“Whyyoudon’tlikeEnglishbecausehard?OKIhelpyoubutyoulovetheEnglishbecausesheneedoutsiderestauranthotelandhospitaloraccidentorcitiesyeahanothercities.MaybesometimesheneedtheEnglish”.(No-SS1:2)

WhileEnglishlearningatintermediateschoolispresentedaslimitedtoletters

andsomewords,highschoolEnglishintroducedafewgrammarandspelling

rules.ThisdidnotprepareNourfortheshockofthehugejumptoPPEnglish.

Sharifaispresentedasarichlearningenvironment,oneinwhich:“ghaṣbān

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ʿanniktitʿallamEnglish(whetheryoulikeitornotyou’lllearnEnglish)”(SS1:5).

Nourreferstothedifficultyofthetransitionfromhighschoolmorethanonce:

“…whengoinuniversity,ohmyGod,confusedbecauseveryhard”(No-SS3:9)but

herself-motivationispresentedasundiminished:

No:I’mcominghereI’mlisteningeverybodytalkEnglish.IneedlikethatbutNour,I’mtryingbecausethesuccessfulnot“I’mafraidIcannotno”.HeneedstudyheneedgiveittheeducationinshāʾAllāhkūays(hopefullygood).(No-SS1:4)

AlthoughPP1wasverydifficultatfirst,shenowfeelsbetterinPP2and

anticipatesstudying“professionalEnglish”(SS1:5)thefollowingyearat

university.Sheexpresseshersatisfactionwiththeteachingandlearningatthe

PP.TeachersarehelpfulandencouragehertospeakEnglishallthetime.Forthe

firsttimethereareclassactivitiesinEnglishandshehasanopportunityto

developherListeningskills.Asalanguagelearnershepresentsherselfas“active

withtheteacher”(SS1:5)intheclassroomsothattheteachergivesheragood

mark(shesaysinacheekyaside)andsothatshestaysawake.

Nourconstructsherselffromthebeginningasalanguagelearnerinneedofhelp

andsupportfromherpeers,herteachers,heradvisorandanysignificantother

whoshepositionsasknowingmoreEnglishthanher.HeronlyregretinSS1is

thatinPP2shedoesnotreceiveregularteachercounsellingasshedidinPP1:

No:PP1thereisteacherhelpmeinEnglish,grammarlisteningspeakingwritingeverythinginEnglishintheirclassonehouronlygivehelpteacherstudentsfortheEnglish.(K:Yes)ButinPP2don’thave. (No-SS1:6)

Whileadependentlearnersheisalsoresourcefulandgivesanaccountofheruse

ofEnglishoutofclass.Shepositionsherselfasseekingoutresources,suchas

usingtheinternettolistentothenewsinEnglishandevenwritingEnglish

poemsonline.SheconstructsherselfasdesiringcontactwithnativeEnglish

speakersandasalreadyauserofEnglish:intheinformalinterviewshemakesit

clearthatshehasnativespeakercontactsandthatsheenjoysinteractingwith

them,especiallyAmericans.AttheendofSS1,Nourexplainstheoriginsofthat

affection:whatshecallsthe“earthdream”ofhergrandmother,whichisthe

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longinghergrandmotherrepeatedlyexpressedtovisitAmerica.Theearthdream

becomesacoremetaphorinthedevelopmentofNour’sidentitiesasELLUand

mediatorandisthefocusofSmallStory1.

SmallStory1(SS1:6-7)The‘Earthdream’narrative(AppendixC1:353-354)

Nourtellsmethisstoryinresponsetomyquestionaboutherreasonforliking“the

American”(11).Inherstoryshegoesbacktoherchildhoodwhenshelivedwithher

grandmotherwhoshepresentsastheonewhocontinuallytalkedaboutherdesire

“toseeAmerica”(32).Thisearthdreamisnowhersandshehasalsopasseditdown

toherdaughter(45).AlthoughNourfocusesonhergrandmotherformuchofthe

narrative,attheend,inordertodemonstrateherloveofAmerica,sheperformsa

dialogueinEnglish,inwhichshespontaneouslytriestoengagesomeforeign-looking

peopleinconversation,thinkingtheymightbeAmericans.Thisdialoguecanalsobe

seenasanexampleofNourreachingouttoembracetheforeignerwithinherown

society.

Thisnarrativeisimportantbecauseitmakesconnectionsbetweenfeelingstowardsa

country,itspeopleanditslanguageandinitsperformanceitalsolinksNour’sdesire

tocommunicateinEnglishbacktoanauthentic,familysource.Shetellsmethatshe

andhersiblingswerebroughtupbytheirgrandmotherandthusinfluencedbyher

curiosityandwishtoseetheoutsideworldinAmerica.Now,Nourandherdaughter,

whoisthesameageasshewasthen(37),sharethesamedream(45).Thusthe

narrativecreatesawoman’sworldinapatriarchal,segregatedsocietyinwhich

femalechildrenreceivenurturingandinfluencefromolderfemalerelatives.

Thenarrativeisco-constructedbyus,usingbothArabicandEnglish.OnceNour

beginstellingmeabouther‘dream’(13)shelaunchesintoArabictoexplainthe

influenceofadultsalwaystalkingaboutAmericaastheearthdream,fromthetime

shewasachild(15-16).Actually,shecodeswitcheswithinthesamechunkofspeech

andshedoesthisatleastfivetimesinthenarrative(14-15,22-23,27-28,37-38,45-46).

210

WhenNourswitchestoArabicIalsouseArabictorespondtoherontwooccasions

(18,48).NouralertsmetothecentralinfluenceofhergrandmotherinArabic;Iseek

confirmationofthisinEnglish(21)andNourconfirmsherasthepivotalcharacterof

thestory:“Mygrandmother”(22).Sheemphaticallypositionsherlategrandmother

inEnglishandArabicasanimportantsourceofheraspirationsto‘knowtheother’.

Inherstoryworld,asa5or6-year-oldcharacter,Nourechoesmyquestionasking

hergrandmotherforthereasonwhyshewantedtoseeAmerica.Allshegetsisa

repetitionofherstatement,thistimeinArabic(40).WhenImovethefocustoher

daughter,NourindicatesthatseeingAmericaremainsatthedreamlevel:she

doesn’ttalktoherdaughteraboutit,asshemightnotactuallygothere(43-44)but

“Sheisinsidethedreamlikeme”(45).Inthiswaythematrilineallinksuggeststhat

thewishtolearnandexperienceforeigncountries(andcultures)willmostlikely

remainasadreamandneverberealised.

Nour’sgenderidentityalsosurfacesinherpositioningofSaudifemales.Thereisa

senseoffemalesolidarityinthepassingdownofdreamsandaspirationsalongthe

matrilinealline.However,inthelimitedopportunitiesforcontactwithforeignersand

theunreachabilityofwomen’s‘idealselves’,Nourdelineatesthepositionofwomen

inSaudiArabiaasvirtuallyunchangedfromthetimehergrandmotherwasalive.

Nourpresentslittlehopeevenintheprospectofherdaughterfulfillingherdream.

Inthesettingforheranecdotenarratingaspecificencounterwithforeignersin

English,Nourseemstoreducethespacerealisticallyavailabletoheratthepresent

time.Thecontactwiththe‘other’isseentohappeninherlocalcontext.Nour

introducesheranecdotewithageneralisationinArabicintheformofastatementof

belief:

46(becauseifapersonlikesthecountry47helikesitspeople)

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HeramusinganecdoteillustratesthewayloveforAmericastirsupinherawarm

responseatthesightofAmerican-lookingpeopleinherlocalenvironment(49-52).

Nour,asthecharacterperformingherloveofAmerica,uttershergreetingandher

complimentinEnglishtothepassingstrangersinanultra-polite,friendlymanner

(51,52).Thetwistattheend,whentheforeignersidentifythemselvesasFrenchor

GermanandNourclearsoff,turnsthejokeonherself.Thus,inhertelling,sheis

positioningherselfasawell-meaningbutnaïveEL2speakerstrikingupconversations

withforeign-lookingstrangers.Atthesametime,Nourcreatesasituationwhich

ironicallyresemblesour‘Saudimeetsforeigner’interaction.Heranecdotecanalso

beseenasasuccessfulattemptattellingajokeinhersecondlanguage.

Tosumup,thisnarrativecanbeseeninmetaphorictermsasNour’sreachingfrom

herArabicidentitytoknowandembracethe‘other’bothoutside(inthedream)and

insidehercountry.Inherperformanceofgreetingandcomplementingtheforeigner

(51,52)sheherselfbecomesanagentofthatdesireforopennesstotheoutside.The

wishtoencountertheother,whichsheperformsasinstilledinherbyher

grandmother,isalsoanopeningouttomeinourfirstrecordedinterview.Nour’s

friendly,personalnarrativebothcharmsandamusesmeandcreatesapositivebasis

forourfutureinteractions.Itdoesnotpresenttheprocessorexperienceofher

Englishlearningonwhichmostofmyinterviewquestionsfocus,butinourco-

constructionandnegotiationofcontent,languageandmeaning,we,insomeway,

actuallyperformthecommunicationthatNourstatesasimportantatthebeginning

ofthenarrative(2,3).

SS2/Group-Urgentneedforspeedyimprovement

NourexpressesfearfulanticipationofstudyinginEnglishatuniversitythe

followingyearduringthegroupinterview,incontrastwithSandraandNevine

whoclaimtheyfeelreadyforthetransition.Nourdefendsaclassmatewho

SandracategorisesasweakinEnglishbyexplainingthatitwashershynessto

speakwhichheldherbackandnotherlackofability:“Yeah.She’stheshy.First

timeIcantry,againshecannottry,stop”(SS2/Group-1:1).Inordertourgently

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raiseherstandardofEnglish,NourvoicesherintentiontostudyattheBritish

Counciloverthesummerholidays.Sincethisinterviewistakenupwithageneral

discussionoflearningandusesofEnglishinthewidercontext,thereislittleon

Nour’sindividualprogress.

SS3-Movingclosertomydream

AtthebeginningofSS3NourseemselatedathavingcompletedthePPyearand

excitedoverherprospectiveuniversitystudiesinTranslation.Shenow

constructsherselfasacreditableEnglishspeaker.Intheinformalinterviewand

inSS1sheexpressedherreticencetospeakEnglishinpublicincaseothergirls

laughedather.Nowhowever,asaPPgraduate,shepresentsherselfaschanged,

asnolongershytospeak,inspiteofhermistakes.Whileclaimingtohavelearned

muchgrammar,vocabularyandessay-writinginPP2,Icansenseheruncertainty

overherlanguagelevelbutalsoheremotionalcommitmenttoachievinghergoal

ofgraduatinginEnglishandTranslation.

Nourexpressesherjoyatunderstandingconversationsandintalkingtoher

friendsinEnglishandusesasimileof“acandlebrightinsidethedark”(SS3:7)to

describehowshefeelsnowsheisabetterEnglishspeaker.Shecontinuesto

presentherselfasanout-of-classlearner:shetellsmethatshespendsuptosix

hoursontheinternetlisteningtothenewsinEnglish,watchingfilmsand

searchingforwordsthathavecomeupinherTranslationclasses.Sheexpresses

herbeliefconsistentlyintheadvantagesoflivingandstudyinginanEnglish-

speakingcountryasafasttracktolearningfluentand“professionalEnglish”.

Nourshowsmethatsheisspecificallylookingforopportunitiestotakea

summerEnglishcourseabroadbygivingmepricesforfeesandaccommodation.

Ontheotherhand,Nourstillconstructsherselfasadependentlearnerinher

formallearningcontext.Herappreciationofteachersupportisrepresentedin

herdepictionofMsA,herPP2ListeningandSpeakingteacher.SheconstructsMs

AassteadfastandunrelentinginhereffortstomakeNourcommunicatein

English.NourusesanArabicproverbtoemphasisetheteacher’s‘toughness’for

thestudent’sbenefit:“al-umqāsīahʿaláabnāʾihāyitaʿlamū(Themotherishard

213

onherchildrensotheycanlearn)”(SS3:2).MsA,fromherside,inherinterview

attheendofthePPyear,portraysNourasahard-working,determinedstudent

whobeganwithlittleEnglishbutthroughconsistentlyseekingouthelpand

doingindependentworkathomeinadditiontoclasswork,hasprogressedmore

thananyotherstudentinherclass.Thissenseofflourishingandthrivinginthe

learningcontextofthePPduetoteacherandadministrativesupportcomes

throughinthefirstthreeinterviewsandinourconversations.Nourusesthe

metaphorofthefamilytodescribetheinstitution:“IlikePP,inSharifa,likethe

family.Heneedsomeonehelphehelpsomeone,likethat”(SS3:2).

Peersupportisalsoanimportantexpressedneed:sheevaluatesherconnection

withtheotherparticipantsintermsoftheamountofhelptheyarewillingtogive

otherstudentsintheclassroom.NourconstructsherselfandSandraas

particularlywillingtohelptheirpeers.Shegoesontoexpoundquiteforcefully

onthebenefitsofworkingingroupsintheclassroomusingrhetoricalquestions:

K:DoyouthinkyoulearnmoreEnglishifyoustudyaloneorifyouworkwithothergirls?No:WithothergirlsbecauseIfeelresponsibilitywithallofthem.Yesallofthemarestudents.Whyyouneedsomepeopleworkalone.Whyyouneed.Becauseinworkmaʿabʿaḍ(together)lammāyīshtaghilmaʿabʿaḍyīsawīshayaḥsan(Ifyouworktogetheryoudoitbetter.)Successfulyeah? (No-SS3:5)

SS4-Toomuchonmyplatenow

WhenImeetNouroncampussoonafterthebeginningofthefirstuniversity

semestersheappearsextremelyanxiousandoverwhelmedbyherbusyschedule

oflecturesandassignments.Shealertsmetothetransitionasacritical

experience:“Nowincollege.It’sveryveryserious”(No-FN:2).Asifdesperateto

escapeherstressfulsituationshepresentsmewithplanstotravelabroadandto

studyinEngland,whichseemhighlyunlikely,consideringhereconomic

difficulties.Inthisinformal,unrecordedconversationNourexplainshow

importantspeakingEnglishisforsocialstatusinSaudiArabiaandclaimspeople

respectsomeonemoreiftheyspeakgoodEnglish.Sheseemsintentonavoiding

discussionofherstudysituationandfocusesonheridentityasmother,aswage

earnerandasstatusseeker.

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SS5-Gettingveryhardbutmotivationunwaned

AfterthetransitiontouniversityNour’svoiceaskingforhelpbecomesrather

moredesperate.Shehighlightshermaindifficultiesasthehighacademiclevel:

“alltimesthestudyhard”andunderstandingwhattheteacherssay:“theteachers

isfasttalkmanymanyinformationinsidetheclass”(SS5:1).Sincetheuniversity

expectsstudentstotakemoreresponsibilityfortheirlearningandstudy,more

thanatthePP:“Maybenobodyhelpyou.Onlyhelpyourself”,herusualstrategy

ofobtainingregularandconsistenthelpisthwarted.However,thereare

exceptions:Nourfindssecondorthirdyearstudentswhoseemtoenjoyhelping

her.

AtuniversityNourpresentsherselfasperformingpoorlyinlanguage-dense

subjectslikeBiology,IslamicStudiesandPE(theory).Shedoesnotfocusonher

languagelearningorevensubjectlearningbutonheractionstoprocurebetter

resultsforherself.HoweversheexpressesherenjoymentofAdvancedSkills

(ACS)becauseasshetellsme,sheisstudyinggrammarandvocabulary:“howcan

makeasentence,aparagraph,anessay,anarticle”(SS5:2).Also,eventhough

mostoftheotherstudentsare2ndand3rdyearstudentswhospeakEnglishwell,

herACSteacherispresentedasencouragingherpersonally:

No:DrB:“FirsttimeNouryoustudyhard,youstudyhardbutnowNouryou’rebetter”al-ḥamdulillāh (No-SS5:2)

Nourseemstobaskintheteacher’swords.Also,hercontinuednarrativeofno

longerbeingshylinkstohersustainedmotivation.Inherclassesatuniversity,

mostoftheotherstudentsspeakEnglishverywellbutDrBencouragesher

boldnessandshefindsthismotivating:

K:AnddoyouspeakEnglishorareyoushy?=No:=NonoIspeakEnglishmaybeIgoodorwrongIspeak(K:verygood).She(DrB)[smalllaugh]likemebecauseNournotshy.IloveitlikethatI’mnotshy[laughs](No-SS5:3)

Nourexpresseshereinemotionaltermshowmuchheridentityasalanguage

learneranduseristiedupwithhersenseofwell-beingandconfidenceasa

person.

215

Inspiteofthepressuresofuniversitystudyandthepressuresofoutsidefamily

commitmentswhichcomeacrossmorestronglyinourinformalconversations,

Nour’soverallorientationinSS5isupbeat:sheismotivatedandengagedand

makespositiveassociationswithlearningEnglish.Furthermore,Nourpresents

herselfasenterprising:shearrangestomeetupwithadvancedstudentsafter

class,sometimesasksteacherstorepeatinformationinclassandoftenseeksout

heradvisor’shelp,thusindicatingthatherstrategiesareeffectiveintermsofher

needforsupport.

SS6-Stillstrugglingtocopewiththenew

Nowinhersecondsemestersheattemptstoputonabravefacebutthedemands

ofstudyinginacademicEnglishareclearlytakingtheirtoll:“…Maybethesubject

differentanddifficultalittlebitbutnewsubjectandnewvocabularygrammar

likethis[withconcern]upandupanduplikethat”(SS6:1).Thereismore

teacherandpeercriticisminSS6relatingtoherstruggletoattainandmaintain

acceptablegrades.NourcomplainsaboutthelackoflanguagesupportinACS2

andseemsunhappythatstudentsareexpectedtoworkongrammarontheir

own.AlthoughsheinformshernewACSteacherofthegapsinherknowledgeof

grammar,sheisexpectedtoworkfromagrammarbookratherthanworkwitha

betterstudent:

No:IwanttohelpbutIdon’thavethegrammarItellhermaybeIdon’thavelearnedthegrammar.Iwantsomestudenthelpme.Shetoldme“OK,youcangointhelibrary(bookshop)youtakeitthebookgrammarMrMurphy3rdor4thyoucanbuythebookandinshāʾAllāhhelpyou(No-SS6:3)

InSS6Nourannouncesachangeinherorientationtoworkinginagroupand

impressesonmetheimportanceofthischange:“=Ichangemymindreally.I

writeinmyBlackberry[laughs].IchangemindreallybecausebeforeIwantto

worktogetheringroupbutnowIchangemind…(SS6:3).Inspiteofher‘change’,

Nourstillconstructsherselfasinurgentneedoflanguagesupportinourfinal

interview.Shemakesitclearthatshestillhasurgentlanguagelearningneeds

whichcannotbepromptlymetinSaudiArabia.Althoughsheconcedes,in

discussionwithSandra,thatithasbecomemorecommoninSaudito

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communicateinEnglishinpublicplaces,inSS6sheconsistentlyfavourslearning

Englishabroad.Nourdoesfindstudentstohelpher,however,especiallyamong

thenew,non-Arabicspeakingstudentsandsheexpressesherreliefandjoyat

theseopportunitiesforsupport:

Zhelpmeinessay,insummarizing,anythingarticleopinion.Maybethirdyearstudent.Shecannot[laughs]understandArabic.WithmeinIslamnow.I’mveryhappy[laughs](No-SS6:5)

OnlookingbackatthePP,NourisuncriticalinherappreciationforthePPasa

stepping-stoneintouniversitystudy:“AfterthePPthestudentisreadyfor

college”(SS6:6).Shedescribesherownexperienceandlanguagelearningatthe

PPasinvaluable:

Ithelp,mealotbecauseInotwriteparagraphor—becausehelpmeyes—essaytranslationspeakinglisteninggrammarallthisinPPtakeithelpmenowincollegeyes.(No-SS6:6)

NouropposesSandra’sstatedviewthatthePPonlyactedasamereintroduction

touniversitystudies;sheproceedstolistthebenefitstoherEnglishlearning

comparedtoschool,suchashavingaSpeakingclasseverydayinthePP,as

opposedtoanEFLclassonceortwiceaweekatstateschool.Thus,contraryto

Sandra,NourshowsareluctancetospeakcriticallyofthePP.

Inheraccountofherfutureself,NourhighlightstheuseofEnglishasamain

factorinherjobasinterpreterinahospital.Economicnecessitygivesherno

choicebuttoworkassoonasshegraduates.However,if“myfamilymydaughter

andmyself”(inthatorder)attainagoodstandardofliving,shewouldloveto

continueherstudiesinEnglish:“IwanttogoupandupandupinEnglish”

(SS6:16).Althoughshewouldliketohelpherfamilyandoutsidersunderstand

whatpeoplesayinEnglish,shedoesnotpresentherselfasabletofulfilthisrole

nowbuthopestointhefuture.LearningEnglishalsolinkstoherwishesforher

daughter’sfuture:shehopestohavethemeanstosendhertoaninternational

schoolasitwillhelpgiveherabetterlife.

217


7.3.3.1Creatingastudentidentity

AmongthemultipleidentitiesthatNourpresentsinourinteractions,herstudent

identityisthecurrentonetowardswhichsheaspiresandworks.Whileshe

showsthatsheisabletointegrateherstudentidentitywithherlanguagelearner,

workandfamilysupporterrolesduringheryearatthePP,findingherfeetatthe

universitybecomesanall-consumingtask.Consequently,heruniversitystudent

identitybecomesasiteofanongoing,unresolvedstruggle.Overall,Nourcreates

somedistancebetweenhereverydayselfandherstudentidentity:inthe

informalinterviewshereferstoherdreamofstudyingatuniversityandinthe

finalinterviewsheagainreferstoherdreamofcontinuingherstudyofEnglish

aftergraduation.Thereisasubtextofunreachability,astherewasinher

grandmother’searthdreamofvisitingAmerica.

Thatsheisalsobreakingnewgroundintermsofherfamilyandsocial

backgroundismadeclear,notintherecordedinterviews,butinour

conversationtowardstheendofherfreshmanyear.Nourtellsmeshewasthe

firstinherfamilytogotouniversityandherfivesistershavefollowedherlead

andareallnoweitherworkingorstudying.Shedoesnotdevelopasubject

positionaspioneer,however,neitherdoesshegivemedetailsofherhumble

beginnings,butfromthelimitedinformationshedoesgivemeofherparentsand

fromtherun-downapartmentblockinthepoorpartoftowninwhichshelives,I

cantellthatshehasfoughthardtoentertertiaryeducation.

7.3.3.2TransitiontoPP

Asseenin7.3.2NourpresentsherfirstPPsemesterasahugejump:“very

difficultthePP1becausenew,studyinthebakalūrīās(atdegreelevel)English

andTranslation”(SS1:3).AlthoughthePPissupposedtoactasapreparation

period,Nourpresentsherstudycontextasanacademicchallenge,onethatwas

moredemandingthanshehadexpectedafterhighschool.Shepresentsherselfas

continuouslynotingdowneverythingtheteachersaysforreviewlater:“Ireview

mynotes,me:Yes,OK,yeah,Iunderstand”andasstudyinghardforexamsin

spiteofsomepoorresults:“…ButI’mnotmarkedgoodbutal-ḥamdulillāh”

218

(SS3:2).Throughherconcertedeffortsatobtainingextrasupport,atnegotiating

hermarkswithteachersviaheradvisorandatdoingmorefollow-upworkat

home,shemanagestomaintainanacceptablestandard.

AlthoughNourseemsmorecomfortabletalkingaboutmattersoutsideher

academiccontext,thereisevidenceinSS2andSS3thatsheisseekingto

consolidateherstudentidentity.Inthegroupinterview,forexample,she

declaresthatalthoughheroldhospitalemployerfrequentlyaskshertoreturnto

workinthemedicalcentre,shealwaysrefuses:“…becauseIstudyinuniversity”

(SS2/Group-1:4).Nourvoicesheranxietyaboutbecomingafreshmanstudent:

it’snotonlyherlanguagelevelsheisconcernedaboutbutthemoreimpersonal

universitysystem:

…system[3rdtimesaysitclearly]inthecollegeisveryveryhard.Ilistenlikethatbecauseincollegetime,timeandquiz,quiz.Iftime1hourquiz1hourfinish.You’renotfinishtakethepaper.Hereit’seasilyforthestudents.(No-SS2-Group-1:2)

InSS3NourdevelopsheridentityasaprospectiveTranslationmajorandshows

emotionalengagementwithherfuturestudies:“Iwantmyselfinsidemyheartin

Translation”(SS3:1).Herambitionsarepresentedasfar-reaching:asagraduate

ofthePPherself-confidenceseemstosoar.HerTranslationstudieswillallow

hertoperhapsworkintheking’scouncil,(wheretheyhavejuststarted

admittingwomen)orinaSaudiembassyabroad.ThusNour’sfledglingstudent

identityandherELLUidentityseemtomergewithhervisionofselfasmediator

betweenSaudiandEnglishworlds.

7.3.3.3Transitiontouniversity

AfterhertransitiontouniversityNourconstructsherstudentselfmore

intensivelyasanactivenegotiator.Shepresentsherselfasweigheddownbyher

busyscheduleofsevenacademicsubjects,BasketballandOfficeadmissions:

Oh!manymanysubjects…[NoshowsKschedule]Yousee.(K:MyGod!You’rebusy!)Yes[laughsalittlehysterically]Icannotmovelikethat.IslamicBiologyPEMathsBasketballACSArabicClubCS.IhaveanotheroneIdidn’twritehereOfficeAdmission.Iwork

219

OfficeAdmission(K:really?)YesItakeit10valuepoints. (No-SS5:3)

Nouractstoobtainahighnumberofvaluepointstohelpimprovehergrades.In

OfficeAdmissionssheservesasaninterpreterforthoseprospectivestudents

whospeaklittleEnglish.AlthoughheracademicscoresinMathsandComputer

Studiesarehigh,inlanguage-densesubjectstheyareverylow.InBiology,for

example,shetellsmeshescored4outof20onthemid-termexam.However,

fromNour’scomposedbutlivelymannerIunderstandthatherlowscoredidnot

demotivateher:onthecontraryitmotivatedhertoactinordertonegotiatea

better‘deal’forherself.Shetalkstoheradvisorwhothenmediateswithher

BiologyandIslamicteachers:

No:…Igoandtalktoher(Biologyteacher)andshewasOK.Idoextraworkal-ḥamdulillāh.Islamic,DrS.,Italktoadvisor,shegotothedoctorgivemeextrawork.Idoital-ḥamdulillāh.Shegivemehighergrade(No-SS5:1)

Hernarrativeshowsherpro-activeapproachtoachievinghergoal.Sheusesa

stringofactionverbstorelatetheprocedureofobtainingthroughher

endeavoursthebeststudent‘face’shecan.However,Nourmeetsabrickwall

whenitcomesto‘negotiating’markswiththePEteacherasshenarratesinSmall

Story2.

220

SmallStory2(SS5:1-2)The‘BadPE’narrative(AppendixC2:354-356)InthisnarrativethePEteacherispresentedasobstructorofNour’sdevelopmentas

asuccessfuluniversitystudent.Using3shortanecdotesshedramatizesduktūrah

(dra)H’s‘unhelpfulness’tostudentsanditsconsequences.Intwooftheanecdotes,

setintheexamhallandthePEclassroom,Nourplaysthepartofwitnessto

proceedings;thelastanecdoteisashortdramatizationofanunresolveddialogue

betweenherselfandDraHintheteacher’soffice.Theproblemisdepictedas

concerningstudentsasagroupprimarilyandreflectsaclaimonNour’sparttobea

memberofthatgroup.

Herfast-pacednarrativeisperformedusingavarietyofdevicessuchasdirect

speech,rhetoricalquestions,ironichumour,which,byemphasizingherarguments

andprovidingamusement,seektoconvincemeofherargumentthatthePEteacher

“isnotgoodwiththestudents”(SS5:1).Nourconstructsherselfasadoer,a

confronterandanironist.Shepresentsherselfastakingdirectactiontohelpsolve

herproblemwiththePEteacher:shehasactivelysoughttoimproveonherPEexam

markbyconsultingheradvisorandthePEteacherbuttonoavail.Inthecourseof

thenarrativeNourtakesupsubjectpositionsasspokespersonforhergroup,as

witnesstounjustexamproceedingsandaspleaderforthecauseofstudentswhoare

lessproficientinEnglish.

NourfocuseshercriticismsformuchofthenarrativeonthePEteacher’sexam(18-

60),whichshedescribesasdifficultandnotaimedatfreshmanstudentslikeherself

(21-23).Positioningherselfasanunpreparedfreshmanstudent,Nourimagines

herselfaddressingtheteacherdirectly,askingher,inaloudvoice,abouther

incomprehensibleexamquestions(28-29).TheemotionbuildsupasNourspeculates

onthetypeofanswertheteacherexpected(30-32).Finally,sheaddressesthe

teacheragainwithpleadingintonationattheendofthisstretchoftalk:“Whatyou

need”(33).

221

Nourholdsupthecharacter,studentM,whoshedescribesasAmericanandclaims

ironicallythatevenM,asanEL1speaker,couldnotunderstandeverythingonthe

exampaper.Nourrecreatestheexamscene(48-60),inwhichMistheprotagonist,

whileNourisanonlooker(54).Theantagonististheauthoritarianinvigilator,DraA.

ThePEteacherisnotpresent,thoughheroffstagepresencecanbefelt.TwiceM

protestsoutloudduringtheexam:“Whatyouneed.Whatyouneed”(49),echoing

Nour’searlierrhetoricalquestion,and“Idon’tunderstandthepaper”(53).DraA

retorts:“Don’ttalkintheexam”(51)andthentoNour:“Nour,turnround”(56).

Whenshegivesherevaluationoftheincidentattheend(57-60),itseemsasifNour

isaddressingboththeinvigilatorandmyself:

57butshe’sAmerican58shecannotsolve59andIArabicslow[laughsaloud] 60Really![inhighpitch]Icannot!

HereNourpositionsherselfasanArabicL1/EL2speakerwhichemphasiseshow

unfairandridiculousthesituationiswhensheisexpectedtoanswerquestionsthat

evenanAmericanstudentcannotunderstand.Withthisironicsenseoftheridiculous

shebuildsuptohermotif:“Icannot!”.

Nourrespondscreativelytomyhypotheticalclassroomquestionaskingtheteacher

forhelp(61-63)byperformingherversionofatypicalDraHresponse(64-69).She

vergesonthesarcasticherewithheruseofsoundeffects:

64No:Shetell:[withgreataffectation]“her-her-her65anotherstudentcannottellher?”66Likethat(K:oh!)“her-her-her67cananybodyexplainher?”

Nourexpresseshershockinanexclamation(68)andthenherownuncharacteristic

behaviourasaresult.Thepowerfulline“Ikeepitsilent”(69)contrastswiththerest

ofthe‘noisy’narrativeandtheeffectisdramaticbecauseofthesurrounding

assertivenessofNour’snarrativevoice.

222

ShethenmovesthesettingtothePEteacher’sofficeinordertoperformaprivate

dialoguewithDraH.NowNouristhemainspeakerandnarratorofascene,possibly

representingherlastresort,inwhichsheaskstheteacherwithexaggerated

politenesstomakeallowancesforthelowlevelofasmallgroupoflessproficient

speakers(74-84).Nourcastsherselfasspokespersonpleadingwiththeteacherand

usingherlackofproficiencytonegotiateanexamresitwithher.DraHisice-coldin

response:“7everything7Nour”(83).Hervoicereflectsherinflexibilityandlackof

sympathy:sherefusestoevenconsiderimprovingonNour’sexamscorewhichis7

outof20,adefinitefail.Again,theanecdoteendswiththemotif“Icannot”(84),

indicatingthatNourhastriedherbestbuthasgivenupwiththisteacher.

Nour’suseofironyandhermockinglaughtertargetedatthePEteacherandfinally

atherself(98-100),reducetheseriousnessofherineffectiveagentivenegotiations.

AllthestudentsinunisonrefuseadamantlytotakePE(93-94).Nourturnstohumour

asshefrequentlydoesattheendofanarrative:amongherex-PPfriends“onlyme

andAlex”(100)aredoingPE,implyingthattheyaretheonlyfools.Irespondwith

irony:“That’sabigproblem!”(101),soweendupmakinglightofit.

Althoughhereffortsfallshortinallthreeteacher-influencedsettingsinwhichshe

structureshernarrative,theironichumourinNour’sdramatizationsandevaluations

createawisedistancebetweenthetellerandthetold.Furthermore,Nourisartfulin

thewaysheweavestheanecdoteswithherdevelopingargumentinthenarrative.It

isastoryofthedifficulttransitionofaSaudistateschoolgraduatemovingtoan

Englishmediumuniversitywhobringsschoolpracticestohernewstudent

environment.However,Nour’stellingremainsupbeatandspiritedand,through

performinghernovicestudentselfstrugglingtoadjusttouniversitysystems,implies

thatshewillmakeamoreinformedchoiceofteachernexttime.

EveninSS6Nourshowsthatshehasnotyet‘acclimatized’touniversitylife.

Whilestillbringingoutthemeritsofgenerousbutsporadicteacherandstudent

supportinhersecondsemestershepresentsherselfasstilluncomfortablewith

223

theset-upofnewclasseswithnewclassmatesofdifferentlevelsandages:“Itis

differentmind,differentthought,allthis”(SS6:1).Hernarrativesandanecdotes

tendtobemorecriticalinSS6,indicatingthatherfunctioningasauniversity

studentislessofasatisfyingoneandherglowingreviewofthePPtowardsthe

endofSS6suggeststhatthecoreofherstudentidentityremainsthere.Hermain

problemisthatifshemissesaclassthereisnoonethatshecanrelyontotellher

whatshehasmissed.Alsoshecomplainsthatmanystudentsarelazyandshe

doesn’tknowwhowouldbehelpfultoworkwithinagroup.Thisnewisolation

asstudentisbroughtoutinthe‘BadComputerStudies’narrativeinwhichshe

positionsherselfastheonlymemberofhergrouptodoalltheworkforaCS

project.

SmallStory3(SS6:3-4)The‘BadComputerStudies’narrative(AppendixC3:356-358)

UnlikeSmallStory2Nour’spredicamentispresentedinthisnarrativeasan

individualproblem:herlossofmarksonaCSprojectandherfailednegotiationswith

theCSteacherbecomeatragicstoryoflossofagency.Thefunctionofthestoryisto

explainwhyshehaschangedhermindaboutworkinginagroupandtohighlightthe

injusticeoftheCSteacher.Sheachievesthisbyactingouttheimpersonal,coldvoice

ofteacherscoercingstudentstoworkingroupsandenforcingdeadlinegradingrules

andthesingle,protestingvoiceofher‘self’defendinghercaseasahardworking,

conscientiousstudent.AsNoursadlyacquiescestotheaccusatoryvoiceoftheCS

teacherandthenfinallytothecoercivevoiceoftheAPSteacher,shetakesupa

subjectpositionasvictimofan‘unfair’universitysystem.

NourpreparesthegroundbyjustifyingherstatementtoherAPSteacher:“Iwant

aloneworkinallthepresentations”(9).Herjustificationtomeisthatshedoesn’t

knowthe“new”studentsandshedoesn’tknowwhowillcontributeandworkhard

soshecan’tmakeaninformedchoiceofgroup(5-8).Theteacherispositionedas

impersonallystatingandupholdingtherulethatstudentslosemarksiftheywork

alone(13-15).WhenIteasinglyremindNourofearlierpresentationsofherselfasa

224

sociallearner,shemakesadirect,emphaticstatementofchangeinherattitude

towardsworkingwithothers,evenaddingwithsomeamusementthatshehad

recordedthischangeinhermobilephone.Itisherparticularexperiencewithgroup

workatuniversitythat,sheclaims,hascausedhertochangehermind.Theothersin

hergroupskiveoffwhilesheislefttodoalltheworkbyherself.Mystated

judgement:“Yeahit’snotfair”(32)seemstoencouragehertogivemeafull-blown

exampleofgroupworkturnedfoul.

ThestoryisaboutNour’sbadexperienceworkingonagroupprojectforComputer

Studies.Againsheclaimsshewastheonewhodidalltheworkfortheprojectand

turneditintoBlackboardformarking.Shecomesupagainsttherules,deliveredin

theCSteacher’simpersonaltone,thatprojectswouldnotbeacceptedafterthe

deadline.Inresponsesheassurestheteacherthatshesentitat11.58,twominutes

beforethedeadline.However,duetoaproblem,itarrivedatleast15minuteslate:

43andIlost2marksme44andallstudentsfullmarks(K:Why)

Nour’sconstructionofdifferenceanddistancebetweenherselfandtheother

studentsinhergrouphelpscreateafeelingofgrossunfairnessandinjustice.Therest

ofthenarrativeistoldintheformofadialoguebetweenherandtheteacher.The

speechofNourascharacteriswordedandexpressedasadirectprotest:

45Igoandaskherlikethat[indignant]“Why(P)46Iworkmyselfnotallstudents47Allstudentstakeitfullmark48andme,notfair”

ShebringsoutthelackofunderstandingbetweenunsympatheticteacherandNour

asstudenteagertogainmaximummarks,insimpledialogue:

49Shetellme“2marks?50What’swrongNour”51Itellher“because2marksisbigthing”

225

Nourthenproceedstoemphasise,asifaddressingboththeteacherandme,thelack

ofeffortoftheothersinhergroupincontrastwithherindividual,diligentworkat

home.Shealsoimpressesonmetheimportanceoftheprojectwhichcountedas

theirmid-termexaminCS.Ipositionmyselfasunderstandingofherpredicament

(58),contrarytotheteacher,whostilldoesnot:

61Shetellme“OKwhyyouangry”62Itellher“BecauseIamdoingallofthismyself”

AsIseekclarificationofthestory,theteacher’svoicebecomesmoreaccusatoryin

herjustificationforgivingNour18marks(66).Nourexplains,throughtheteacher’s

inflammatoryvoice,howtheothersinthegroupmanagedtogetafullmarkeven

thoughshewastheonewhoputthefinishedprojectonBlackboard:

74“maybethisstudentshesend(wouldhavesentit)early75butyouNouryou’relazy76soyousenditlate.”77Itellher[weakly]“No”

Astheteacher’svoicegrowslouderandmoreunreasonable,Nourseemstoloseher

assertiveness:hervoicebecomesmeekandfinallyacceptingoftheteacher’s

argument:

80Itellher“OK”[dejected].

Shethenpresentsherdenouementtothestory:asaresultofthisnegativeCS

experience,shepolitelystatesherpreferencetotheAPSteacherforworkingalone.

ShethusreturnstotheintroductionofherstorybutnowIcanbetterunderstandher

predicament.TheresponseofthisteacherissimilarintonetotheCSone,asifthey

arebothmouthpiecesforuniversityrules:

85Shetellme“Maybeyoulose2marks86or3marksyouworkingalone87Worktogether”

Nournowpositionsherselfasacquiescent:inspiteofherbadexperience,shehasno

choicebuttoworkwithothersandhopeforthebest(88-89).

226

Tosumup,thefunctionofthisnarrativeistoillustrateNour’slosingbattleasshe

seekstocarveoutacrediblestudentidentityatanEnglish-mediumuniversity.Nour

positionsherselfasanearnest,strugglingstudentmakingahugeefforttodowell

butshowsherpersonalresistancetotheenforcementofdeadlinepenaltiesandto

teachercoercionofstudentstoworkingroupsontheirprojects.Ininteraction

withme,Nour’spriorityseemstobetobringouttheinjusticeoftheteacherasrule

enforcer.Shedevelopshervictimstancebytakingmethrougheachstageofher

resistance:surprise-outrage-despondencyandthepoignancyofherfinaldejection

makesanemotionalimpact.UnlikethePP,whichshedescribedas“likea

family”(SS3:2),theuniversityisahostileplaceinwhichsheperformsherselfas

estrangedandfrustratedinthisnarrative.

IthasbeenanupwardclimbforNourasastudentofthePPandauniversity

freshman.Dueinparttohermultiplerolesandcommitments,suchastutorto

herdaughterwhoisnowinfirstgrade,asfamilyfinancialsupporterandas

supervisoroftherenovationofthefamilyapartment,sheishard-pressedto

devoteallhertimetobeingastudent.Nour’sstrategyatuniversityistobeactive

inthesenseoftakingseveralacademicandnon-academiccoursesandof

workingtoachieveahighnumberofvaluepointsinordertoimprovehergrades.

Thesubtextofhernarrativeisstrivingforsuccessbydoingthings.Thisstrategy

workedtosomeextentbutinthefinalinterviewNour’sstudentidentityis

performedasstrained.Thisinnowayseemstoaffectthepresentationofher

imaginedidentityasanEnglishspeakerorofherprofesseddesiresintermsof

professionalandpersonalgoals.

7.3.4Socialcommentatoridentity

Fromtheinformalinterview,Noursetsherselfupascommentatoronher

society,particularlyinrelationtoEnglish.Shegivesherselfawideberthand

oftenmovesthecontextawayfromtheacademiconetocommentonusesof

Englishinhersociety,topublicplaceswhereEnglishisspoken,aswellastoher

ownfamilyanddomesticcontext.Thevarietyoflocalsettingsofhernarratives:

227

home,herdaughter’skindergarden,school,wedding,restaurantetc.reflectthe

breadthofherexperienceandherkeensenseofhersocial,culturaland

educationalcontext.Shealsoencompassesalongtimeframestretchingfromher

ownchildhoodtoherfuturevisionforherselfandherdaughter.InNour’s

narrativeofrecentandpresentexperience,pastandfutureseemalways

significantandsheoftenpresentsherpersonalstorywithinacommentarywhich

reflectsdevelopmentsinhersociety.

InresponsetomyquestionsonherpastschoolexperienceinSS1,Nourreports

onwhatislearntinEnglishlessonsatintermediateandhighschoollevelto

providemewithageneralpicture.Usingsimpledialogues,shealsorelates

severalshortanecdotesaboutEnglishteacherswhodonotencouragetheir

studentstolearnEnglish.Nour’snarrativeisspiritedbutrathercynical

concerningEnglishteachingandlearningatschool.Sheexpressesherconcern

aboutthelowlevelofhighschooleducationandtheurgentneedfor

improvementinordertomakethetransitiontouniversityeasier:“Iwantthe

standardupbecausewhengoinuniversity,ohmyGod,confusedbecausevery

hard”(SS3:9).

Nour’snarrativecommentaryaboutlearningEnglishintheSaudischoolsystem

includesanaccountofaninspiringEnglishteacherwhomotivatedherstudents

tolovethelanguage.Theresultsofthisexampleofteachermotivationbecomea

generalcommentaryonthegrowingdemandforEnglishlanguageinstruction

amongyoungwomen.Likewise,NourremarksontheprogressinEnglish

teachingandlearningatintermediatelevelusingheryoungcousinsasevidence:

(Theystudybetterthaninthepast,thanwhenweusedtostudy.Now,recently

theystudybetter)(SS1:2).

Asnarrator/commentatorNourusesfirst-handevidencefromherpersonal

experiencetoclarifyandjustifyherobservationsonsociety.Sherarelypositions

herselfasthemaincharacterinhernarrativeperformancebutstandsoutsideto

observeandcommentate.HereshepresentsSaudisocietyasbecoming

multilingual:

228

K:Andwhataboutspeaking.Dotheydospeakingatschoolnow?No:[Hesitantly]Yeah.SpeakinEnglishspeaksomelittleFrench

Germany(K:really?)Yeah.IseemyfriendsgointheweddingtalktoherIlistenonewordsisFrenchsomewordsGermany.Whatisthis.Thisisdifferent,thelanguage.NotonlytheArabicnow.māshāʾAllāhkhalāṣtighayiral-wadʿ(MyGodthesituationischanging).(No-SS1:4)

Nourdevelopsavoiceofexperience,onewhichisqualifiedtoinformme,asa

researcheronlearningEnglishinSaudiArabia.Inourinterviews,whileIclaim

thepowertochangedirectionandtopic,sheclaimsthepowertomovethe

discussiontoadifferentsettingorcontext,whichsheisfamiliarwith,asthe

excerptaboveshows.Inthismovementtodifferentsettings,Nourclaimsan

identityforherselfasasocial‘mover’,notasaSaudifemaleconfinedtoahome

(andstudy)context.Sheconstructsherselfas‘streetwise’inthesenseofhavinga

handleoncurrenttrends:

K:…Doyouwanttodomorespeaking?No:Yeahbecausenowit’sthemujtamaʿ(society).K:What’sthat,universal?No:Yeah.ManypeopleyoungoradultsisusingtheEnglish

everywhere,bankssupermarkethospital…(No-SS1:6)

Nourpositionsherselfasthemostauthoritative,knowledgeableandexperienced

ofthethreestudentsinthegroupinterviewaswediscussusesofEnglishand

bestwaystolearnandshemaintainsthatposition.Sheholdsherowninan

argumentaboutwhetherstudyabroadisthebestwaytolearnEnglishaswesee

inSmallStory4.

229

SmallStory4(Group-2/SS2:3-4)The‘StudyAbroadnarrative’(App.C4:358-360)

Nourtakespart,withSandra,Nevineandmyself,inaconversationonthemeritsof

learning/studyingEnglishathomeorinanEnglishspeakingcountry.Themore

relaxed,sociablesettingofthespontaneousgroupdiscussiongivesrisetodifferent

interactions.WhileNourandSandraargueintheirEL2,Nevineexpressesher

argumentsinArabicasifexcludingme.Nourshowstranslingualcompetenceinher

strongsenseofvoiceinsupportingherargumentinbothlanguages.Herstarting

pointseemstobehersocialpositioningasawell-informed,opinionatedyoungSaudi

woman.

NourforcefullydeniesthepropositionthatonecanlearnEnglishwellinSaudiArabia

(3).SandraplayfullycounteractsNour’sargument(8)whileNevinedefensively

disagreeswiththe‘learnabroad’argument(14).Nour,inadamantopposition,takes

upadefinitivestanceassupporteroflearningandstudyingEnglishinAmericaand

maintainsherposition,despitesomecompellingargumentsontheotherside.She

argues,inanearnesttone,thatinAmericaonehastospeakEnglishtoeveryoneand

thatthe“study”is“better”(5).WhenSandraretortsthatinSaudiArabiaArabiccan

beusedtocheckmeaningsofEnglishwords,Nourisquicktoopposeherusinga

narrativeexampleofhercousinwhograduatedinEnglishLiteraturefromaSaudi

university“buthecannotonesentence(inEnglish)hetellme”(11).However,aftera

three-monthstayinAmerica,“…nowmāshāʾAllāhhecan’tstopter-ter-ter-ter

[laughs]”(13).Withafewshort,simplestrokesNourisabletogetherargument

acrossclearly.Soundeffectsenhancethehumorouselementintheconclusiontoher

anecdotalillustration.

Nevine,switchingtoArabic,rejectsNour’sargument:“[quietly)mūsharṭ(not

necessarily)”(14).Defensively,NouraddressesSandrainArabictoblame,notthe

studyortheteaching,butthelazinessofboysforhermalecousin’sfailuretolearn

230

EnglishinSaudi.IgnoringNevine’sinterjectionandaddressingSandra,shequalifies

thiswithadescriptionoftheirmechanical,unmotivatedlearning(16).Sandraseems

toacquiesceatthispointof‘sharedknowledge’inArabic(17)eitherbecauseNour

hastouchedonaviewofSaudimaleswhichtheyhavesharedinprevious

conversationsorperhapsbecausetheyarenolongerdisplayingtheircommandof

argumentativeEnglish.InpositioningSaudimalesinthisway,Nourisclaiming,for

herselfandforSandra,Saudifemaleidentitiesasmotivated,committedEL2learners.

EventhoughNourattemptstoexplainawayNevine’scounternarrativeofaboywho

studiedintheStatesfor3yearsbutdidnotlearnmuchEnglishbysuggestingthatthe

boyjustwenttoAmericatostudyfortheTOEFL(19),Nevinecontradictsherand

positionsNour’scousinasperhapshavingthe“tongue”butnotthe“education”(20).

ThestrategicwordsarespokeninEnglish,givingNevinemoreauthorityinthe

expressionofheropinion.Nourthenclearlyanddefinitivelyjustifiesherargumentin

colloquialArabic,givingapracticalreasonforhercousin’ssuccessinlearningEnglish:

(TheoneI’mtellingyou,it’sbecausehewenttoworktherehehadnochoicebutto

learnthelanguagebutherehedidhisbachelor’sdegreebutdidn’tlikeit)(21).

Thedown-to-earth,practicalwisdominNour’sreasoningseemstowinthe

argument,atwhichpointIjointhediscussionandswitchthelanguageofour

discussionbacktoEnglish.SandrajoinsNourandmeinaquick-firediscussionon

negativeattitudestoEnglishamongSaudis.Theypositionthemselvesasinformersin

alignment:Nour,emboldenedbySandra’scomment(26),confirmsthatsome

studentshateEnglishandgivesmeanexplanationinherstaccato,clippedEnglish

style:“DifficultyeahandIcan’tIcan’t.Hemindlikethat.Icannotdoingandstop

mind”(32).InthreeshortspurtsofratherbasicEnglish,Noureffectively

communicatestheprocessofstudentsgivinguplearningEnglish,usingfirstperson

forinternalspeechandthirdpersonforhercommentary.Interestingly,Sandra

presentsthedifficultyoflearning/studyingEnglishintermsofherownpersonal

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experience(26,30),whereasNourpositionsherselfassocialcommentatoronly.The

pointsshemakesareinagreementwithherpreviousargument:thatitisdifficultfor

SaudistolearnEnglishintheircountry.

Nourshowsengagement,evenenthusiasm,inthisfast-movingdiscussion.Inspiteof

thelowerlevelofherlanguagecomparedtoherinterlocutors,sheplaysamajorrole

inexpoundingonherargumentsinfavourofstudyabroadandshepositionsherself

throughoutasexperiencedandknowledgeableaboutthebestwaystolearnEnglish

forSaudis.Thegroupsituation,whichgeneratesvariedresponses,appearsto

stimulateNourandtowidenhersphereofreference:shecommentsonawide

spectrumofsuccessandfailurefromhercousinchattingawayinEnglishonhis

returntoSauditofailedlocallearnerswhofindlearningEnglishfartoodifficult.

Interestingly,NourandSandraargueandalignthemselveseffectivelywhenthey

converseintheirEL2,perhapsbecausetheyaredisplayingtotheirEnglishaudience.

However,NourengageslesseffectivelywithNevine,eventhoughtheyarguein

Arabic.

Nourshowsshehasaneyeonthejobmarketinhercontinueddiscussionwith

SandraonthemeritsofstudyabroadinSS6.ShearguesthatlocalEnglish

graduatesaresomewhatvaluedbyemployers;“youseethegraduate,inSaudi

Arabia,butEnglish:‘OhOK’,butthosewhohaveactuallystudiedabroadare

highlyprized:‘Ohbetter’(K:yes)youneedthisone”(SS6:7).Nourdevelopsher

commentatorsubjectpositioninherargumentwithSandra,showingatemporal

orientationtoherobservationsonSaudiasaprogressivelymoreproductive

languagelearningenvironment:

No:OKbefore[quietly]beforenotnow,inpast,maybenotallstudentorallpeopleusingtheEnglish(S:mmm)butnowandthefuturemaximumwillspeakEnglish[murmursofoppositionfromSandra]…before…YoucannotlearntheEnglishinsideSaudiArabia.Butnowyes.YoucanlearninSaudiArabiabecauseIgointhehospitalthedoctorsmaybetalkwithherEnglishgointhegallery

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[stumbles]talktheEnglishrestaurantanyplaceyoufindmaybeonetwotalkEnglish. (No-SS6:8)

Inthiscomparativelylongstretchoftalk,Nourshowsthat,bythefinalinterview,

shehasdevelopedamorearticulatecommentatorselfinEnglish.Interestingly,

shedoesthisinconversationwithanotherSaudistudent,Sandra,withmeas

audience.Inthisperformance,itcouldbearguedthatNour’ssecondlanguage

voicedevelopsintandemwithhercommentatoridentityinourinterviews.Nour

relatesfromtheoutsidelookingin,asifherindividualstoryof‘self’isnotthe

centralconcern.Herperformanceascommentatormovesthroughavarietyof

contextsoftimeandplaceandsheoftenillustrateshercommentswithamusing

first-handexamples.Asamemberofhersocietysheiscommentingonlocal

developmentsbutsheisalsolookingoutwards,beyondhersociety,asweshall

seeinthenextsection.

7.3.5Mediatoridentity

Inherdiscursive,translingualinteractionwithmeandasasubjectposition

developedthroughthecontentandperformanceofhertalk,Nourenactsa

mediatoridentitythroughoutourinterviewsandconversations.Sheusesthe

interviewsituationasasocialencounterandanopportunitytosocialiseand

‘bond’withme,the‘other’,thenativeEnglishspeaker.Nour’sstrivingto

communicatewithmeinEnglish(withsomeArabic)appearsmorethanadesire

tolearn:itispartofherroleasmediatorbetweentheSaudiArabicandEnglish

languagesandcultures.FurthermoreinherstatedchoiceofstudyingTranslation

inanEnglish-mediumuniversityandinherfuturestatedprofessionalgoalas

interpreterorambassador,shepositionsherselfasArabic-Englishmediatorand

inasenseasonewhocanbringthesetwoworldstogether.Thisisnotonlyan

endeavourforpersonalbenefit:inbringingtheEnglishlanguageandits

“meaning”toherfamilyandtoherpeople,shepositionsherselfasworking

towardstheprogressandtheenrichmentofhersociety.

Nourmakesitclearfromtheinformalinterviewthatsheenjoysinteractingwith

nativeEnglishspeakers.Evenwhenshepresentsherselfasabelittledstudentin

SS6,sheupholdsherpreferenceforEL1ratherthanAL1teachersandperforms

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herpleasurableeffortatunderstandingandcommunicatingwithherACSnative

speakerteacherDraT:

…ButTyouhavereallyvocabulary.Youcangetthemeaningandmeaningandmeaning,maybesimplewords,Iunderstandwhatsheisneedorsheusethesignsyeah?(No-SS6:5-6)

Nourpositionsmeastheforeignmother,thecuriousforeignerandIplayinto

thatrolewithmysurprisedreactions,myinterestinallaspectsofherlifeand

cultureandmyacceptanceandencouragementofherArabicusageinthe

interviews.Ourtranslingualconversationsenhanceourcommunicationinthe

earlyinterviews.InlaterinterviewsNourstillpeppersherEnglishwiththe

expressions:al-ḥamdulillāh,inshāʾAllāhandmāshāʾAllāh,reflectingherMuslim

identity,butthisnevercreatesdistancebetweenus.Formeitenhanceshersense

ofhopefulnesstoattainthevisionforherselfandherdaughterthatshe

describes.

HernarrativeperformanceinEnglishdevelopsthroughtheinterviews.Nour’s

expressivestyle,herfrequentuseofdialogue,imagery,internalmonologue,

asides,humouretc.helphergetacrossmultipleandcomplexmeaningswithher

limitedrepertoireofEnglishvocabulary,structureandidiom.Inthegroup

interview,forexample,NourenactsamediatorroleinaddressingmeinEnglish

toexplainapointortotellastory.Nourmaintainshermediator(andsocial

commentator)positionininteractionwithmeinthe‘EnglishforSecrets’

narrativewhichisSmallStory5.

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SmallStory5(Group-2/SS2:5-7)The‘EnglishforSecrets’narrative(App.C5:360-361)

InordertoexemplifyhercommentthatSaudigirlssometimescommunicatein

Englishwithfriendsinordertohidesecretsfromtheirparents,Nourtellsmean

amusingstoryinEnglishaboutoneofherschoolfriendswhousedtocommunicate

withherboyfriendinEnglishsothathermotherwouldnotunderstandtheir

conversations.InhertellingNourpositionsherselfascommentatorofotherswhich

contrastswithSandra’spositioningofherselfasonewhoneedstospeakaforeign

languagetohidesecretsfromherownfamily.Asaconversationin‘thealternative

party’context,animportantfunctionofthenarrativeandthesurroundingtalkisto

entertainandtosocialize.Nourshowsthatsheprimarilyseekstobemyinformantin

English,inthatsheselectsandexposesusesofthelanguageofwhichImightnotbe

aware.

NourinterceptsSandrawhomakessomestronggendereddistinctions:whileboys

are“māshāʾAllāhloser”(4),girlslikelearningandstudying(2,4).Nourinterruptsto

allotgirlsalessseriouspreoccupation:“[Laughing]Theylikestories”(3)andshe

continues,incontrasttoSandra,topositionsomegirlsashavinganulteriormotivein

learningEnglish:“Somegirls,theyneedtakethelanguagebutitisforsecretwiththe

friendsonly[laughs].Sheneedlikethat”(7).Nour’sstatementsgrabeveryone’s

attentionandwithherentertainingpropositionsheholdsthefloor.Sheexplainsthe

situationininteractionwithme(10-15).Thejokeisthatthegirl’sfamilycannot

understandEnglishsothegirluseshermobileorcomputertotalktoboysorabout

boyfriends.Sandramakesanattempttopersonalisetheissuebyapplyingitto

herself(16,18):shehastolookforamoreunusuallanguagesosheandhercousin

cantalkabouttheirsecretsathome.

SandraviesforNour’spositionasgroupEL2storytellerinthenarrativebutfailsto

achieveit.Nourissoonreinstatedwhensheannouncesthatshehas“alovelystory”

(19)totell.IbackNour’spositionasstorytellerofthegroupandurgetheothertwo

tolisten(20)butSandraturnsawaytotalktoNevineinArabic.

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Nourtellsherstoryaboutherintermediateschoolfriendwhousedtotalktoher

boyfriendeverydayinEnglishonhermobile.HermotherstudiedEnglishsoshe

wouldbeabletounderstandtheirconversation.Nourtellsthestoryinspurtsand

SandracorrectsherEnglish(23)andIsupporthertellingbyrepeatingand

rephrasing,bothtocorrectherEnglishandtobringoutthehumour.

ThemotherbecomesanobjectofridiculeinthetellingandNourlaughssomuchthat

Icanhardlymakeoutwhatsheissaying:“Yeah.Shelistenandlistenandlistenbut

shecannotknowwhattalktheboy”(27).Idrawanironicmoralfromthestory:“So

that’sareasontostudyEnglish,tocheckonyourdaughter”(28)andwealllaugh.

Sandraagainattemptstobeginapersonalstory(30)butNourseekstore-engageher

bystartingtheconclusiontoherstoryinArabic(31).Sandrahoweverturnsagainto

talkandlaughwithNevinesoNourandIco-constructtheending(32-35)inEnglish:

thegirlgetsengagedtoherboyfriendandthentheygetmarried.Thisputsthestory

intoasociallyacceptablecontext.

InterestinglyNourisnotacharacterinherstorybuttypicallycreatescharactersfrom

herrelativesandfriendsinordertoillustrateacommentonhersociety,usuallyin

relationtoEnglish.ThusshecreatesanironicdistancebetweenSaudisocietyand

herselfsowecan‘meet’atapointatwhichwecanlaughtogetherandsharean

understanding.Also,Nourmaintainstheinteractionwithmeasthe‘outside’

interestedpartythroughout;atnotimedoessheinitiateanArabicconversationwith

theothertwoneitherdoessheaskthemforEnglishwordseventhoughtheyare

moreproficientspeakers.

Iconsistentlysupport,guideandclarifyNour’sstorythuspositioningherasthe

weakestEL2speakerofthegroupbutshetakesonasubjectpositionasprincipal

narrator,informantandhumouristinherEL2.NourandSandraprovidemewith

differentversionsofgirlslearningandstudyingEnglishinSaudisociety,onehasa

light-heartedmotive,theotheraseriousone.Theseversionscorrespondtogender

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discoursesprevalentinSaudisocietyinwhichgirlsareseenashigheracademic

achieversandmorestudiousthanboysbutalsoasmoreinneedofadultsupervision.

Englishhasafunction,inthetelling(andpossiblediscovery)ofyounggirls’secretsin

ahighlyconservativesocietyandNourdevelopsthisversionintoanentertaining

story.

Nour’ssocialworldinthisnarrative,then,isoneinwhichadultsdonotspeakEnglish

anddaughterscanuseittohidesecretsfromtheirparents.Thejokeshetellsabout

hergirlfriendrestsonthispremise.Herimplicationthatshecomesfromalowerclass

backgroundcontrastswithSandra’sclaimthatsheneedstospeakamore‘exotic’

language(16,18)tokeepsecretsfromherfamilywhoallspeakEnglish.Alsothe

contextofstateintermediateschooldrawsattentiontoNour’slowerclass

background.Thusthe‘Englishforsecrets’narrativepositionsNourfromthepointof

viewofsocialclassandculture.

InhermediatorroleNourvisiblyenjoyspresentingherEnglish‘persona’:she

evenjokesaboutforgettingArabicwordsasshespeaksmoreandmoreEnglish.

Sheperformsthisasasourceofcontentionwithherfamilyattimes:

No:…mothershe’sangry.Yeah.“Idon’tlikeyoustudyEnglish.”“Why”“BecauseyounotspeakArabicyouspeakEnglish.Idon’tknowwhatyouspeak.” (No-SS3:7)

However,thisdoesnotaffectNour’sresolvetoimproveherEnglishinorderto

beabletohelpandenrichthelivesofherfamilyandothers.Nourpositions

herselfasgo-between,thelinkbetweenEnglishandArabicbutsheclaimsthatit

ismorethantheEnglishlanguagethatshewantstobringtoherpeople.Her

unclehasreturnedfromhistravelsabroadandhasaculturedmanner:

No:...māshāʾAllāhIsee[inpolitetone]“Goodmorning.”Ilikeit. IwantbutIwantmeaning. (No-SS6:16)

Sheexpressesherdesiretobringthis“meaning”tohersociety:“Ifeel[with

emphasis]thatthepeopleorfamilyorotherpeopleunderstandwhatisthe

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English”(SS6:16).Furthermore,herimaginedfutureselfashospitalinterpreter

relaysinformationtoterminallyillpatientsinasensitivemanner:

No:…Iwanttoconnectinformationerrwithpatientorsomepeopleerrinclearandnicewaylikethecancer.Youcan’ttellthepeople“Youhavethecancer”(K:Isee).Iwantmakecomfortable.Iwanttobehave(relieve)thepaininhuman.(No-SS6:15)

NourconsistentlymaintainsherSaudiidentityasmediator:althoughshesays

sheiswillingtostudyabroadforuptofiveyearsinordertolearn“professional

English”,heraimistobringbacktoSaudiwhatshehaslearned.Shealsowants

herdaughtertotravelabroadinorderto“getopenmind”(SS6:16),butthisis

partofherwishforherdaughterto“haveabetterlife”(SS6:16)inSaudiArabia.

HerprofessedemotionalengagementandcommitmenttoTranslationstudies

seemstoconsolidatethisrolefurther.NourconstructsthesubjectTranslationas

wellwithinhercapabilitiesbecauseitinvolvesbothArabicandEnglish.Her

Arabicisstrong,unlikethosestudentswhostudiedininternationalschools,

becauseshewenttoaSaudistateschool:“IcannowtakeitbothbecauseEnglish

andArabical-ḥamdulillāhstronginshāʾAllāh”(SS6:11).

SheistheArabicspeakersuccessfullycommunicatingandestablishinggood

relationswithme,thenativeEnglishspeaker,inhersecondlanguage.Rather

thanseekingasecondlanguageidentityNourmaintainsamediatorposition,asa

Saudi,inwhichshereachesouttothe‘other’inareceptiveandsociablemanner

soastogaintheadvantagesoflearninganotherlanguageandcultureandof

bringingthisenrichmentbacktohersociety.Asshelookstothefuture,she

presentsherdaughterasalsotakingonthismediatorpositionbybringing‘big

stories’aboutothercountriesandculturesbacktoherfriends.

7.3.6Motheridentity

Nourreturnsagainandagaintohermotheridentitythroughourinteractions.In

heraimforabetterlife,herdaughterandsheareadyadandlearningmore

EnglishisseenbyNourasastrategicrouteforbothofthem.Nourreinforcesthe

ideaofherdaughterfollowingherinthepursuitofherdreamtospeak

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“professional”EnglishsothatshemaykeepupwiththetrendinSaudisociety

andthushavethemeanstohelpherselfbeindependentinherfuturelife:

No:…Iwantshe’slikeme.ShelovethestudyinEnglishbecauseIamdreamIspeakEnglish,professionalspeakEnglish.Ilikemydaughterlikeme. (No-SS3:1)

NourpresentsherselfasactiveinthesearchforagoodEnglisheducationforher

daughter.AtthebeginningofSS1Nourtellsmehowher5-yearolddaughteris

learningEnglish:sheisabsorbingthelanguage‘naturally’andpickingup‘native’

pronunciationatanearlyage.Inherpreschool,herdaughterhasastructured

dayinwhichtheylearnEnglishthroughplayinggamesandwatchingvideos.

Nour’soptimisticfuturevisionisreflectedinherdaughternarratives:for

example,sheseesparallelsbetweenSaudiprogressinEnglisheducationandher

daughter’scurrentexperiencecomparedtoherown.However,whenher

daughtermovestostateschool,herschoolexperienceisdescribedasahard

strugglewhichdoesnotincludelearningEnglish.

OnecandetectathreadfromNour’searthdreamnarrative,whichshowedher

grandmothereagertoseeAmerica,toNour’scurrentsituationinwhichshehas

notyettravelledabroadbuthasmanagedtogetascholarshipandisattendingan

English-mediumuniversity.Onwardsfromthatpointshepresentsherfutureself

workingasaninterpreterandmakingenoughmoneytosendherdaughtertoan

internationalschoolandtotravelabroad.ThusNourweavesthepast,present

andfutureintoacoherent,progressivethread,whichcanbeseentoreflect

developmentsinthecountry.Attheendofourfinalinterview(SS6),after

presentingherfutureself,Nourgivesmeanaccountofherfuturevisionforher

youngdaughterwhichisSmallStory6.

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SmallStory6(SS6:16-17)‘Daughter’sfuture’narrative(AppendixC6:361-363)

InthisnarrativeNourexpoundsonthefuturelifesheimaginesforheryoung

daughter.ItcanbeseenasaprojectionofNour’sownunrealizableimaginedidentity

whichshecanpossiblymakerealforherdaughter.Shecommunicatesadesireto

enableherdaughtertohavea“betterlife”(18)anda“comfortable”(15)jobso

that:“Shedoesn’tneedanybody”(16),thuspositioningherdaughterasafuture

memberofahighersocialclass.MorethanthetrappingsoftheSaudimiddleclass,

sheimaginesherdaughteraccruingculturalcapitalthroughaninternationalschool

educationandtravelabroad.Thereistensionanddistance,though,expressedinthe

narrative,betweenherdaughter’sfutureidealselfandhercurrentselfandthe

barrierofeconomicuncertaintyloomslarge.

AtthebeginningofthenarrativeNourshowsherpriorityistoraisethelevelofher

daughter’seducationwhichmeanssendinghertoanEnglish-mediuminternational

school“becausegoodthelanguage”(6).Shepresentsheropinionasbasedonher

witnessingthehighlevelofEnglishof16-19year-oldgirlsatinternationalschools.

Thevisionofherdaughter’slifeasbetterthanhersrunsthroughthenarrative.

However,thisbetterlifedoesnotmeanshewillliveanywhereelsebutSaudiArabia

(21-23);shespecifiesthatherdaughterwilllivewithhermother’sfamily.ThusNour

presentsherdaughterasabetterversionofherself,butonewhowillretainher

Saudiandhermatrilinealidentity.

Nourcontinuallyemphasisestomethatshecannotpresentlyaffordwhatshedesires

forherdaughter(10-12,25-26,31-32)andrepeatsthemotif:“Icannotnow”(25)

and“maybeafterthatinshāʾAllāh”(26).Herwishtotravelabroadispresentedasan

opportunityforherdaughterto“seeanothercountry”(33),to“getopenmind(34)”

andtoknow“thehistoryhereandthehistoryhere”(35).Inherhierarchyof

countriestovisit,EnglandandAmericaareatthetop,howevershewouldsettlefor

TurkeyorEgyptasmorelikelydestinationsaffordingherdaughterstoriesof“the

pyramidsinEgypt”(37).Theparallelismsofimaginedexperiencesbuilduptoher

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daughter’sproudvoice:“YesIgoinhereandIgoinhere”(40).However,thehoped

for‘bigstories’whichherdaughterwouldtellherschoolfriendscontrastironically

butpoignantlywithherdaughter’scurrent‘littlestories’,likethoseaboutgoingtoa

localMcDonaldsoranearbychildren’spark.Thetoneandexpressionsofuncertainty

inhernarrativeintensifyinthelastsection.Whatis‘real’isthatherdaughternow

attendsstateschooland“shetakeitmoreArabic”(56).Withrepetitionsof“maybe”,

“Idunno”and“inshāʾAllāh”,Nourdistancesherhopethatherdaughterwillattend

aninternationalschoollateroninherschoollife.However,bytheendoftheextract

wearealignedintheprospectofherdaughter’sbilingualism(59-62)andthis

alignmentistheresultofanegotiationofprioritiesandvalueswithinourinteraction.

IhavemappedoutandguidedNourthroughdifferentfacetsofherdaughter’slife:

schooling,work,placeofresidence,holidaysandbacktoschooling.WhenI

problematizetheissueofaninternationalschooleducationforNour’sSaudi

daughterIamtouchingonalong-standingArabicversusEnglisheducationdebate.

My“willyoubeworried/thatherArabicmaybewon’tbeverygood?”(48,49)implies

thatNourshouldbeconcerned.Nourhadtoldmepreviouslythatshehadtomove

herdaughtertoastateschoolduetoheftyprivateschoolfees.Nowsheexpressesa

justificationforherdaughterremaininginherstateschoolatleastatelementary

level:itistoconsolidateherArabic.Thuswebothplaceourhopesonherdaughter

maintainingbilingualstatus.

Tosumup,Nourplacesherdaughter’sfuturenarrativewithinmiddle-class

discoursesofaninternationalschooleducationandtravelabroad.Therearetwo

conflictingfemalestrandsrunningthroughthenarrative:Nour’sdesireforabetter

lifeforherdaughterrepresentstheprogressivestrandmirroringdevelopmentsin

thepositionofwomeninSaudiArabiawhiletheregressivestranddiscouraging

economicindependenceholdswomenbackfromattainingtheirgoals.Itisher

precariouseconomicpositionwhichNourconstructsthroughoutthenarrativeasthe

majorbarrier,thoughonewhichisherresponsibility.Assuch,Nour’sdaughter’s

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narrativestandsoutsideIslamicdiscoursesofprescribedmalefinancialsupportand

‘protection’offemales.Nourimaginesherselfastheparentprovidingherdaughter

withthemeansandtheopportunitytoliveindependentlyofmen.Asoneofan

increasingnumberofsinglewomensupportingfamiliesinthecountrytoday,Nour

positionsherselfandherdaughterwithinaSaudifemalecounternarrative.Butthere

isanotherdivisionbetweenthedreamandrealitywhichgivesapoignantqualityto

Nour’sdaughternarrative.Althoughnotstatedintherecordedinterviews,Nour

frequentlybringsupinourconversationsherdeepfearthatherex-husbandmay

takeherdaughterfromherandherconvictionthathecannotgivehisdaughtera

goodlife.Consideringherdaughternarrativeinthecontextofthisconstantfearof

losingher,asseemslikelyinherIslamicpatriarchalsociety,seemstoretractthe

senseofagencyfromNour’sperformanceofimaginedidentity.

Nour’smotheridentitypervadesourinterviewdataespeciallyintheearly

interviewswhenherdaughterisseenasrepresentingNour’sideaof‘movingon’

inSaudisocietyandascontinuinghermatrilinealdreamofknowingthe‘other’

andoflearning‘professional’English.AswefocusmoreonNour’sexperiencesas

auniversitystudentinSS5andSS6,shereferslesstoherdaughterinthe

interviewsbutinherfinalnarrativepositionsherdaughterasanextensionofher

ownimaginedself.

7.3.7SummaryofNour’sbignarrativeandsmallstories

TheconsistencyofNour’sself-presentationasEL2learneranduserisevidentin

hernarrativesofpast,presentandfutureandheridentityasamotheris

constructedascloselyconnectedtothisself-presentation,particularlybythe

threadsofculturalcapitalandthesocialadvancementofgirlsandwomenin

SaudiArabia.WhatstandsoutinNour’sconstructionisherstrongsenseofsocial

awarenessandresponsibilitywhichisreflectedinherfrequentcommentarieson

hersocietymovingforwardsandherself-positioningasparticipatorinits

progress.Nour’sgenderandsocialclasssubjectpositionsemergeinhersmall

storiesofsocialcommentaryinrelationtoEnglish.Sheconstructsheridentity

nicheinthelinguisticandculturalmediationbetweenEnglishandArabicbothin

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herstoryworldandinourinteractions.Assuch,thereislittlesenseofanarrative

ofindividuallanguagelearningexperience.

Asastudent,Nourpresentsherselfas‘livingadream’:sheworkshardatbuilding

astudentidentitytointegratewithhermultipleidentitiesasmother,

breadwinner,weddingsingeranddaughter.Whilesheisagentiveinforginga

studentidentity,hersuccessesarepresentedasfacilitatedbyregularteacher

andpeersupportinthePP.Atuniversityoutsidepressuresandpastsocialand

learningpracticescatchupwithherandNour’sstudentselfseemstoflounder.

However,this‘demise’seemstoimpactlittleonherperformanceofherownand

herdaughter’simaginedidentities.

Teacher-studentnegotiationisseenasanimportantaspectofNour’slearning

career.Sheusesteacher(andstudent)voicestoevaluateteachersfromthe

cynicalormotivatingvoicesofschoolEnglishteacherstothoseofsupportivePP

teachersandthenontotheobstructiveandinflexiblevoicesofsomeuniversity

teacherswithwhomhernegotiationsasastudentfail.Nourtakesupsubject

positionsasobserver,aswitness,asspokespersonandassilencedstudentinher

smallstoriestoillustrateanddefendherstudentposition.Inherroleasmediator

inthetellingofhernarrativessheemployshumourandironybothtoshowher

resistancetouniversitypracticesandtoconstructalignmentandsociabilityin

ourinteraction.

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CHAPTER8NEVINE

K:SoNevineyousaidimprovingyourEnglishwasimportantforyou.DoyouthinkmostyoungwomeninSaudiArabiafeelthesameasyou?Ne:[laughs]NomaybeshefindsEnglishverydifficultandmostyounggirlstheythinkthatEnglishisnotimportanttolearn.K:WhydoyouthinktheythinkthatNe:Idon’tknow[laughsshyly].MaybebecausetheyfindEnglishisverydifficultandtheydidn’tlearnEnglishfrommanyyearsago.

…K:SowhataboutyourArabic.TellmeaboutyourArabic.Ne:Err[laughs]Idon’tlikeArabicatallandIdon’tknowIdon’tliketolearnArabic.K:WhynotNe:BecauseIwanttoaccomplishallmystudyinEnglish.IneedalotofEnglishsoIdidn’tneedtolearnArabic.(Ne-SS1:1)

8.1.Ourrelationship

ThefirsttimeIsawNevinewaswhensheworkedinagroupwiththerestof

myparticipantsduringthefirstobservedactivityintheirListeningand

SpeakingPP2class.MsL,theclassadvisor,hadrecruitedherformyresearch

projectprobablybecausesheconsideredNevinetobeoneofthemore

proficientEnglishspeakersintheclass.Thelargepinkbowinherfairhair

andherAmericanstyleclothescausedhertostandoutamongherʿabāyah-

cum-headscarfcladpeers.ShealsopronouncedEnglishwithadistinctive

drawl.Nevineseemedratherdistantandonlyrespondedbrieflytomy

questionsinthepost-activityinterview.Afewdayslaterduringourinformal

interview,whichalsoservedasapre-SS1interviewchat,Nevineagain

seemedguardedandherresponsestendedtoberigidandundeveloped.

Iwassurprisedthat,althoughthemostproficientEnglishspeakerofthefour

participants,shewastheleasttalkativeandactedwithdrawnintermsof

presentationofself.Whileusingendearingterms(shecalledme“sweetie”during

theinformalinterview)sheseemedtoholdbackfromsharingpastlearningand

lifeexperienceswithme.Herresponsesintheinterviewstendedtobebriefwith

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littleuseoftheanecdotes,dialoguesandmetaphorswhichenrichedthespoken

discourseoftheotherthreeparticipants.

MyinterviewperiodwithNevinewaslongerthanthatoftheotherthree

participants.Thisisbecausetherewere‘silent’periodsduringherPP2semester

andherfreshmanyearwhenwewereunabletosetupanyinterviews.Alsowe

hadbeguntocommunicatebyemailbeforethestartofherfreshmanyear,as

Nevineexpressedherpreferenceforawrittenresponse.Ataparticularlylow

point,whenNevine’splanstocontinueundergraduatestudiesintheUSwere

thwartedhalfwaythroughherfreshmanyear,andIhadheardnothingfromher

fortwomonths,SandratoldmethatNevinedidnotwanttoparticipateinmy

researchanylonger.However,Nevinecontactedmesoonafterassheneededmy

help.Idecidedtoputourrelationshiponafriendly,morerelaxedfooting,inthe

hopethatshewouldfeelmoreengaged.Consequently,wesetupameetingatthe

universitybutIdecidednottorecordormakenotesduringourinterview(SS6).

AfterhersummerintheStates,attheendofherfreshmanyear,Nevineseemeda

changedperson.Shewaseagertomeetandvisitedmeathome.StudyingEnglish

Literatureinthefirstsemesterofherseconduniversityyearseemedtorevive

herandshetalkedenthusiasticallyaboutherlife,herstudiesandherfuture

ambitionstodohermaster’sintheStates.IshowedNevinemypleasureather

renewedengagementinherstudies,shewasvocalandcommunicativewithme

andwetalkedasoldfriends.ThisiswhyIdecidedtoincludethisinteractionas

thefinaloneinourresearchcommunications(UnrecordedConversation1).

8.2Background

Atalmost21yearsold,Nevinewasthesecondeldestofmyparticipants.After

shegraduatedfromhighschool,twoyearsbeforethebeginningofmyresearch,

shetoldme(seeAppendixF4)shehadlivedforeightmonthswithherelder

marriedsisterinMiamiwhereshehadstudiedEnglishatalanguageinstitute.

Nowshemisseshersisterandfriendsandfeels“homesick”(Inf.Int:1)forthe

States.HerplanistomajorinEnglishLiteratureatSharifa,dohermaster’sand

doctoratedegreesintheUSandthenrunherownEnglishlanguageinstitutefor

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foreignstudentsoverthere.ThereasonshegivesforstudyingatPPlevelisthat

shedidnotattaintherequiredscoreintheTOEFLexaminationwhichwould

haveallowedhertogostraighttouniversity.

Nevine’sfatherwasSaudiandhermotherisSaudi-Egyptian.Shetellsmethather

fatherdied5or6yearsagoandsincethenshehaslivedwithherEgyptian

grandmotherbutsheseeshermother,wholivesalone,everyweekend.Although

herArabicisgood,sheusuallyspeakstohermother(whodoesn’tspeakEnglish

well)inEnglish.NevineattendedonlyprivateschoolsinSaudiArabiaandathigh

schooltheystudiedMathsandSciencesinEnglishandtherestofthesubjectsin

Arabic.NevinecomesacrossinourinformalinterviewasanoutsiderinSaudi

society.Asshesaysthatshedoesn’tlivewithhermotherormaleguardian,I

suspectthatherlocalfamilysituationisdysfunctional(althoughshedoesnot

presentitassuch),mainlybecausesheappearstolongforherfamilyandfriends

intheStates.Secondly,althoughappreciativeandacceptingoflocalteachingand

learningathighschoolandthePP,hersightsappeartobeelsewhere.

8.3Nevine’sbignarrativeandsmallstories

8.3.1Overview

Nevine’sbigstoryistumultuous,particularlyinretrospect.Asherstoryunfolds

inherpresentation,muchofitseemstometoremainbehindafaçadeof‘putting

onabraveface’andofconformingtoanimageofanablestudent/language

learner.Ourunrecordedconversation,thefirstwhichtakesplaceoutsidethe

university,marksatimewhenNevinebeginsto‘openup’,presentingmewitha

selfthathasbeenthroughhardshipanddisappointment.Thecharacteristictitle

foreachinterview/conversationisbasedonmyunderstandingofNevine’sself-

presentationasalanguagelearner,studentandpersonwithinthatparticular

interactionratherthanthatwhichherlatercommentsmightsuggest.

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PP-SecondSemester

3Mar2012 SS1 Productivebutdetached

25April SS2(Group) OutgrowingthePP


University-Freshmanyear

11Sept SS3 Encounteringproblems

16Sept SS4(GELL) SustainingEnglishreaderandwriterself

25Nov SS5(+emails)Reachingforidealall-roundselfinUS

10Feb2013 SS6 ResignedbutdissatisfiedatSharifa

University-Secondyear

17Nov Unrec.Con. BuildinganewEnglishLit.self

ThereareconsistenciesandsomedevelopmentsinNevine’spresentationofher

identitiesasanEnglishlanguagelearner/userandasastudent.Muchofher

storyseemstofallunderthecategoryofanalienatedidentity,whichcomestoa

headinSS5,bothinourSkypeinterviewandinheremailresponsestomy

questions.Nevine’sidentityasawriterofEnglishbeginstoemergeintheearly

interviewsandbecomeshermainvehicleofself-expressiontowardstheend.

8.3.2EnglishLanguageLearner/user(ELLU)

SS1Productivebutdetached

AlthoughNevineisaSaudiArabbynationalityandhaslivedinSaudiArabiamost

ofherlife,shepresentsherselfasmorethanjustanEL2learneranduser:she

aspirestoreachEL1statusandpositionsherselfasanArabicLanguage1(AL1)

deserterintermsofherpreferences,futuregoalsandacademicidentity.Shehas

alreadymadeitcleartomeinherinformalinterviewthatherplansforthefuture

aredirectedtowardsliving,studyingandworkingintheUnitedStates. InSS1she

presentsherselfasadisplacedpersonwhoisnotlivingandstudyinginSaudi

Arabiabychoice:

Ne:Mycircumstanceswerehorriblethat’swhyIstayedhere.K:WhywereyourcircumstanceshorribleNe:Becausemyfatherdiedthat’swhyIhadtostay.(Ne-SS1:1)

247

SheexpressesanaversiontolearningArabicandtowritinginArabic.Only

Englishhasvalueforherbecauseshewants“toaccomplish”allherstudy“in

English.”ImprovingherEnglishisanurgentandahighpriority:“Ineedalotof

EnglishsoIdidn’tneedtolearnArabicaswell”(SS1:1).Herdetachmentfromher

firstlanguageisconsistentlyexpressedthroughouttheinterviews.

AsonedirectedbyherstrongaffiliationwithEnglishandherfuturevisionasa

committedmemberoftheEnglishspeakingworld,Nevine’spresentationof

herselfasanEnglishlanguagelearnerconsistentlyfocusesonherpotential

improvementinallareasofthelanguage.InSS1Nevineprojectsherselfasagood

languagelearner:sheisone“whoworkshardandtriestolearnfromoutsidenot

speciallyintheuniversity”(SS1:2).Shealsolistenscarefullytoher“instructor”

andlearnsby“writingalotofessays,articlesandparagraphs”(SS1:2).Nevine

doesnotpresentherselfdirectlyasamoreproficientEnglishspeakerthanthe

otherstudentsbutdoesindicateherproficiencybytellingmethatshehasto

speaktotheminArabicintheclassroom“causetherearealotofstudentswho

don’tunderstandEnglishwell”(SS1:4)andshefrequentlyhelpsherclassmates

withtheirwriting“causetheyalsohavealotofmistakesinWriting”(SS1:4).In

SmallStory1Nevineexplainsherroleinthefirstclassactivity.

SmallStory1-NevineexplainingherroleinActivity1(Post-ActInt1App.D1:364-365)

Inthisextractfromthemiddleofthepost-Activity1interview,whichwasmyfirst

face-to-faceencounterwithNevine,sheexplainsherroleandthepartsplayedby

Sandra,NourandAlexinActivity1andfinishesoffwithabriefevaluationofthe

activityitself.ThroughouttheinterviewNevinetendsnottobeforthcominginher

responsesbutitisonlyfairtopointouttheunfamiliarityofthesituation:notonly

wasthisthefirsttimewehadtalkedbutalso,sincetheirsectionshadonlybeen

mergedoneweekpreviously,shehadonlyrecentlystartedworkingwiththeother

threestudents.IntheextractNevinetakesupsubjectpositionsasinterpreterand

explainertoothers(inbothEnglishandArabic,)ratherthanlanguagelearneror

student.

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InActivity1studentswereaskedtoactoutascenedepictingalocalsocialproblem.

Myparticipantgroupdiscussedandrole-playedasceneinwhichanurseusedthe

sameneedletoinjecttwopatients,thesecondofwhomdiedinconsequence.

AlthoughNevinebeginsheraccountpresentingheractionsasprovidingthe

groundworkfortheactingoftheothersintherole-play(4-6),shetendstodownplay

hercontributionandtopositiontheothersinthegroupasagentive.Forexample,

theothersarepresentedasselectinganactingroleintheactivity:

14K:…soyoudidn’tact15Ne:No16K:Whynot17Ne:Idon’tknow18 Theyareactors[laughs]19K:Sorry?20Ne:Theyarechoosing

Ontheotherhand,sheappearstofallintoherparticularroleasonewhichis

necessaryinordertofulfilthetask(4).Apartfromexplainingtoothermembersof

thegroup,shealsoclaimsshewrotethe“explanation”(scenario)oftherole-playand

explainedittothe“instructor”,allactionswhichIhadobservedherdoing,butshe

presentsherroleasoflesserimportance,particularlywithheruseof“just”andby

positioningherselflast:

51K:Howdidyousharethe{responsibilities}52Ne:{Ah,Nourgaveus}thestory53 andSandraandAlexactedtheplay[laughs]54K:Andwhataboutyou55Ne:I’mjustexplainingtotheteacher

NevinealsopositionsherselfasconversantinbothEnglishandArabicwithinthe

groupandthusabletouseeitherlanguagedependingonthesituation.Sheexplains

heruseofArabicinthegroupdiscussion(23-24),andthenelaboratesonher

explainerroletootherstudentsgenerally.Inherformersectionshehadtoexplainin

Arabicmorebecause“therewerealotofbeginnergirls”(36),whereashercurrent

class,inwhichthetwosectionshavebeenmerged,“wasspeakingEnglishmorethan

249

theothers”(41).Hereshecanbeseentodevelopaninterpreterpositionforherself

asopposedtoanEL2learnerpositionandnotonlythat:inclaimingshehastospeak

lessArabicinhernewsection,sheseemstopositionherselfasadaptingher

supporterroleuncriticallytoinstitutionalrequirements.

NevinecategorisesNourasa“beginnerinEnglish”(64)inordertodefendthelatter’s

useofArabicinthegroupdiscussion,eventhoughtheyhavebothcompletedPP1.

SheappearssurprisedandembarrassedwhenIaskhertoassessherlevelasEL2

student(68)butthenpositionsherselfwithcharacteristicmodesty:“I’minthe

middle”(69).ThusNevineisabletomaintainapositionasassessorofotherswhile

stillretaininganon-assertive,downplayedstatusherselfasclassroommember.In

herevaluationoftheactivity,Nevinebringsoutthesocialisingandentertaining

aspectsratherthananyspecificlanguagelearningbenefits.Indeed,sherefersonlyto

thesocialresponsibilityaspectofthelessonwhichitselfispresentedaslimitedwith

heruseof“just”(89)and“that’sall”(91).

Intermsofourinteraction,Icandetectacertainimpatienceinmymannerof

questioningandprobing(e.g.10,14and16)inmyattempttoelicitmoretalkfrom

myinterviewee.ThisisperhapspartlyduetomyexpectationofNevine’sgreater

volubilityinEnglish.Fromherpart,Nevinetendsnottoelaborateorinitiateinour

conversationandshespeaksinaquiet,timidvoiceinterspersedwithfrequent,

embarrassedchuckles.Attimessheseemseventoresistmyprobingbyusingcut-off

strategiessuchas“that’sall”(81,91).Perhaps,asthisisourfirstinteraction,Nevine

andIareplayingourrolesasintervieweeandinterviewerratherrigidly;

consequentlyourinteractiondoesnotseemamutuallysatisfyingone.

InthecontextofEL2learning,Nevinepositionsherselfasanoutsiderintheextract.

Sheadoptsarole,withoutself-aggrandizing,ofonewhoisaboveandbeyondthe

SaudiEL2learner.Assuccessfulcommunicatorinbothlanguages,sheisinaposition

toactasexplainerandwriterforhergroupand,asanEnglish‘expert’,shealso

250

claimsasubjectpositionasassessorofthestandardofEnglishoftherestofher

classmates.However,shebuildsarole,throughtheextract,ofonewhoisnotan

agentintheclassactivitybutwholaysthegroundworkforthesocialactors.

Althoughnotasocialactorherself,Nevineclaimsaspacewhichisindeedfarfrom

themasterdiscoursesofthestrugglingSaudistudentintheEFLclassroom.

However,Nevinealsobringsoutweakareasofherown:inherfirstSSinterview

shesaysthatshefoundthegrammarlearninginPP1ratherchallengingandshe

alsohaddifficultiesinListening,whichsheclaimsmadeherfeel“veryfrustrated

inthebeginning”(SS1:3).Nowshehasimprovedthroughfrequentclassroom

practiceprovidedbyherteachersandhermotivationtoattainhighergrades.She

openlypraisesthePP:“Ithinkeverythingisverygood”(SS1:4)andhercriticisms

ofherlearningtheretendtobemuted,forexamplewhilesheemphasisesthe

importanceofbuildingvocabularyinEnglish,inthePPsheclaimssheonly“gota

fewmorewords”(SS1:3).Shealsoexpressesherneedtolearnmoregrammar

thanshedoesinPP2inordertobegoodatLiterature,“butthere’snotalotof

grammarsomaybeit’sthesame”(SS1:4).AlthoughNevineassessesherPP

learningasproductive,thereisasubtextofdissatisfactioninherresponses.

NevineconstructsapositivepictureofherpastEnglishlanguagelearningat

school.ShepresentsherschoolasinternationalandasasiteofEnglishsinceshe

claimstherewerefewArabicL1speakers:“Therewerealotofforeignpeople

fromIndiaandPakistan,sothiswasthemostimportantthingthathelpsmeto

learnEnglish”(SS1:2).AswellasasocialsiteofEnglish,schoolispresentedasa

richlearningsite:Nevineclaimsshehadarewardingrelationshipwithher

teachers,particularlyherEnglishteacherwhotaughtheralotofEnglish

grammar(InfInt:1).Shepresentsherselfasahigh-performingschoolstudent

andasalwaysattachedtoherEnglishstudies.Highschoolofferedherseveral

opportunitiesforlearningmorelanguage:studentsweresetpresentations,tasks

andhomeworkwhichallhelpedthemimprovetheirEnglish.Teachersfrequently

gave“giftsandcertificates”(SS1:2)andNevinepresentsthisaspositive

reinforcementofherlearning.

251

Nevinemaintainsateacher-dependentidentityasalanguagelearnerinaformal

setting.Herorientationtoherteacherstendstobeuncriticalandratherpassive

inapedagogicalsensewhileherattachmenttoparticularteachersseemstobea

greatmotivatorinherlanguagelearningandperformance.Forexample,she

explainsherimprovementinListeninginthePPasbroughtaboutbyherteacher:

“IgotalotofdifficultiesinListeningandIwasveryfrustratedinthebeginning

thenmyteacherhelpedmealotandshegivesmealotofpracticethenIgotthe

highestgrades(SS1:3).

NevinedoesnotconstructhertransitiontothePPasadifficultadjustment:they

dosimilarclassactivitiesandtasksasathighschoolandshestillhasarewarding

relationshipwithherteachers.Oneoftheonlydifferencesshementionsisthe

communicationbetweenteachersandtheirstudents:“Becauseinthehighschool

theywasteachinguslikeyounggirlsbutrightnowweareadults”(SS1:3).

AlthoughthePPisnotpresentedasasocialsiteofEnglishsinceNevinehasto

communicatewithherpeersinArabic,thePPreceives,inSS1,afavourable

evaluationasaformallanguagelearningsite.NevinepicksoutherPsychology

classesasbeingparticularusefulastheyaresetassignments“aboutadepression

case,aboutschizophreniaandhallucinationsandsoon”(SS1:3).

SS2/GroupOutgrowingthePP

Herself-presentationasalanguagelearnerisdifferentinthegroupinterview

whichtakesplacealmosttwomonthslater:here,incontrasttoSandraandNour

whoexpresssomeuncertaintiesaboutuniversitylearningthroughEnglish,

Nevineappearstotallyconfident,answeringmyquestionscurtlyandwithsome

impatience,forexample:

K:Willyoubeabletodothereading?Ne:YeahyeahIcandoallthatbymyown(Ne-SS2/Group-2:5)

SimilarlyinourgroupdiscussionofActivity3,Nevineisadamantthatshelearnt

nothingatallincarryingouttheactivity,althoughsheclaimstohaveenjoyed

it:“It’snotusefulforme.Ididn’tlearnanything”(SS2/Group-2:2).Inaddition,

252

shepresentsherselfattheendoftheinterviewasalanguagelearnerwhohas

outgrownthePP:“There’snothingnew,Ithink.Basicallythere’snothingnew”

(SS2/Group-2:10).HerorientationtowardsthePPthusappearstochangeinthe

groupinterview,inwhichshepresentsherlanguagelearningaslimited.

However,asthisisagroupratherthanaone-on-oneinterview,thischangecould

beexplainedinpartasNevine’sself-presentationasdifferentfromtheotherEL2

learners/interviewees.

NevinepositionsherselfasanexclusiveandsuperiorchampionofEnglisheven

whenSandraandNourshowtheiralignmentinwantingtolearnmany

languages:

K:WhataboutyouNevine,wouldyouliketolearnotherlanguages?Ne:NoK:Whynot[…]Ne:[Laughingalittle]IthinkEnglishisenoughK:YouthinkEnglishisenough=No:=NonotenoughNe:[Laughs]Englishisalinguafranca(Ne-SS2/Group-2:7-8)

SheexplainsherchangeofmajorfromTranslation,whichtheotherparticipants

havechosenastheirmajors,toEnglishLiteratureasbasedonherdislikeof

studying“Arabicasagrammar”(SS2/Group-2:10)andwhenSandralaterbaits

heronher‘poor’commandofClassicalArabic,Nevineagreeswithher(see

Nevine’s‘TeasingNevine’narrative,SmallStory3).

SS3EncounteringProblems

Inrelayingherfirstimpressionstomeofuniversitysheseemsdisorientatedand

dissatisfiedwithhergeneralcoursesasawholeandenjoysonlyherAdvanced

CriticalSkillsclassinwhichtheteachersetsreadingandwritingassignments.

SheconnectsACSwithPPEnglishbydescribingtheworkinasimilarway:

“Readingnovels,doingassignments,paragraphsandsoon”(SS3:1).Nevine

focuseslittleonherlanguagelearninganduseatuniversity.ApartfromACSshe

doesnotconstructherstudyofgeneralcoursesthroughEnglishasbeneficialto

hersuccessasalanguagelearner.

253

InthisfirstinterviewafterhertransitiontouniversityNevineiscriticallooking

backatthePP.TheA+shereceivedattheendofPP2doesnotseemtomean

muchtoherassheevaluatestheleveloflanguagerequiredastoolowandthe

finalexaminationsastooeasy.HeroverallassessmentofthePPisthatitisnot

satisfactorypreparationforuniversity:

K:Whatcouldthey(thePP)dotohelpyoupreparemoreNe:ImprovethelevelofEnglishmaybebecauseit’sveryweak

(Ne-SS3:2)

Herevaluationoftheinstitutionhoweverconflictswiththatofherteachers

whoseclassessheloved.Theysetthemnumerousquizzesandessayswhichshe

herselfenjoyedwriting,butwhichothersfoundchallenging.Nevinethus

assessesherselfasanaccomplishedlanguagelearner,wholearnsthroughdoing,

especiallythroughwritinginEnglish.

SS4/GELLSustaininganEnglishreaderandwriterself

Nevinehasanopportunitytotalkaboutherselfasalanguagelearnerinthe

SS4/GELLinterview,whichtakesplacestwoweeksintoherfirstuniversity

semester.Sheexpressesherpleasureattheamountofworksetbyher

“wonderfulteacher”inACSwho“isteachingveryhard”(SS4/GELL:3):theyhave

ahomeworkassignmentonanewspaperarticle,avocabularyquiztopreparefor

andanupcomingtestandNevineappearstorelishallthislanguageworkinthe

secondweekofthesemester.Sheexpressesherattachmenttoteachersusing

emotionalterms:shelovesthemandevenneedstolovetheminorder“tobeable

toachieve”(hernotesonGELLSheet).Herhighestpriorityforsuccessful

languagelearningis‘likeyourteacher’butNevineemphasisesthepersonal,

endearingqualitiesofteachersratherthanmoreteacherlyattributes:shewants

herteachertobe“helpfulandverykindand[laughs]compassionate”

(SS4/GELL:1).Nevinerarelyexplainshelpfulteachingprocedures,forexample,

whileherListeningandSpeakingteacheratthePPwas“verylovelyandshehasa

specialwaytoteach”(SS3:2),shedoesnotexplainwhatthatspecialwayconsists

of.

254

Nevinehasmarked‘haveaspecialtalent’asthesecondmostimportantquality

(after‘likeyourteacher’)andsheexplainsthisas:“Ithinktohavetheabilityto

pronouncewordsanddifficultwordsandsoon.Lotsofthegirlsheredon’t

pronouncewell.It’snotsomethingtheycanjustworkon”(SS4/GELL:2).She

seemstoimplyherethatshehasthe‘talent’topronounceEnglishwordsina

native-likeway.Nevinealsoemphasisestheviewthatonealsoneedsaspecial

talenttobeagoodwriterandshenamesherspecialtalentsasbothreadingand

writing.However,shehastoworkhardonmemorisingnewvocabularyand

grammarrules,which,shesays,donotrelyontalent.

NevinealsopresentsherselfasanEL1speakerinherclaimtotranslatefrom

EnglishtoArabicduringourdiscussionoflanguagelearnerqualities.Itisthe

Englishwordwhichcomestomindfirst.

K:DoyouthinkwhenpeoplespeakEnglishtheyfirstofallthinkofitinArabicandthentranslateitintoEnglish?Ne:Idon’tdothat.SometimesI’mtranslatingbutI’mtranslatingEnglish.(Ne-SS4/GELL:2)

ThisidentificationwithEnglishcanbetracedthroughoutNevine’sself-

presentationsintheinterviews.

SS5Reachingforidealall-roundselfintheUS

NevineagainsinglesoutACSastheonlyusefulsubjectatuniversityinSS5,which

occursjustbeforesheplanstoleavetocontinueherstudiesintheStates,because

itaddstoherreadinessforacademicstudyintheUS.Inheremailof25/11/2012

whichcontinuesSS5,NevinepresentsherimaginedfutureselfintheStatesas

havingahighenoughlevelofEnglishtocopewithuniversitystudyandina

subsequentemail,asanticipatingaboosttohergeneralEnglishlanguage

learningbecause“peopleandsocietythereareveryfriendlyandcooperated

(cooperative)”(email-1/12/2012).

EveninSS5whenNevineseemssodisillusionedwitheducationinSaudiArabia,

sheisconsistentinherpositiveevaluationofherPPexperience,forexample,she

bringsouttheadvantagetoherself:“Ilearnttoworkhardandneverwastea

time”(email:25/11/2012).SheexplainshowherfavouriteteacherMsLhelped

255

her: “shewasaskingaboutmeifI'mabsent.Shewasaskingwhatdidumissand

whendouwantmetoexplainforu.Honestly,alltheinstructorswerebeautifully

helpful”(email01/12/2012).Theteachersattheuniversityhoweverare“notall

good”(SS5:2).ThisisthefirsttimeNevinehasexpressedcriticismofteachers.

HerComputerteacher,forexample,is“veryverystrict…difficultandboring”and

thisisimmediatelyfollowedbyherassessmentofthecourseitselfas“horrible”

(SS5:2).

SS6ResignedbutdissatisfiedatSharifa

WhenwetalkinSS6,afteranintervalofalmost3monthsduringwhichshewas

intendingtoleavefortheU.S.,Nevineputsonabravefaceandcoversupher

disappointmentathavingtostayatSharifabutherfrail,washed-outappearance

andherdespondentaccountofherlearningatuniversitybeliesherpositive

comments.Shepresentsherselfasnowmotivatedbynewplanstopostponeher

movetotheStatesuntilaftergraduation.Shetellsmethatshedidnotscorehigh

enoughinherTOEFLexamtogetintoagooduniversityintheU.S.andheraim

(intermsoflanguagelearning)istotakeanIELTScourseaftersixmonthsand

thensittheIELTSexamaftertwoyears.However,asalanguagelearnerinher

secondsemesteratSharifa,thereisverylittleofsubstanceinhertalkandeven

whenwediscussherfavouritesubject,ACS,sheisunenthusiasticabouther

learningthissemester.

Nevine’sneedforacaringrelationshipwithherteacherseemstoaffecther

orientationtohercoursesandtotheuniversityasaninstitution.Shepresents

herselfasresignedtocontinuingundergraduatestudiesatSharifabutstatesthat

shereceiveslittlesupportandhasnopositivefeelingsaboutherteachersandno

contactwiththemorwithheradvisorDrS.Heruniversityexperienceis

mechanicallypresentedintermsofherscheduleofclassesandher‘ritual’five

hoursofstudyeverynight.EvenhernewteacherinACSispresentedaslacking

theteachingskillsofthepreviousone.ThusinspiteofNevine’sbrave

demeanour,shecommunicatesasub-textofdisappointmentwhichisclosely

linkedtothepurportedabsenceofaguiding,nurturingteacherfigure.

256

UnrecordedConversationBuildinganewEnglishLit.self

Nevine’sdemeanourandself-presentationseemtransformedinourfirst

unrecordedconversationinthefirstsemesterofherseconduniversityyear.She

hadalreadypreparedmeforthis‘revival’inheremailof4/10/2013inwhichshe

describesherselfas“veryinspiredthisyear”,hermajorcoursesas“wonderful”

andherLiteratureteacher,whoisanAmerican,as“agraciousinstructor”.Inour

conversation,whichtakesplaceinmyhome,Nevineshowsmearenewed,

engagedself,onewhichcommunicatesalanguageuserratherthanlanguage

learneridentity.Itseemsfromhercommentsthatitisthroughherreadingof

AmericanandBritishliterarytexts,herinteractionwithherteacherandher

autobiographicalwritingthatsheisabletoprojectherselfandatlasttotalkat

somelengthaboutherselfandherexperiences.Sheshowsanemotional

attachmenttoparticularauthors,expressesdeepempathywiththeirlife

strugglesandappearstoassimilatesomethingoftheirstyleandlanguageinher

ownwriting.

NevinecloselylinksherrevivaltoherrelationshipwithherEnglishLiterature

teacher.Shepresentsherselfasoneofthefavouredbythisteacher:whilemost

studentsfailedthemid-termexamanddislikethecourse,sheattainedafullmark

andlovesthetexts“MsB”haschosentoteachthem.Nevinealsoperformsamore

discerningorientationtowardsteachersandcourses:whileMsBiswell-loved

andheradvisorDrS,whowasunhelpfulinSS6,isnow“verykind”(UnCon:1),

another,theACS3teacher,is“horrible”(UnCon:1)becauseofhisteaching

procedures.Nevinepositionsherselfasamemberoftheclasswhodoesnotask

himquestions:sheclaimsthatanystudentwhodoesismadetofeelsilly.Shealso

nowdistinguishesbetweenherorientationtotheteacherandtothecourse:for

example,onlookingbackatherTranslationStudieswithDrMinthePP,she

expressesherlovefortheteacherbutherlackofinterestinhisbookon

Translationandinthesubjectitself.Overall,herevaluationoftheuniversityis

presentedintermsofhowcloseitmightbringhertoachievinghergoalof

pursuingpostgraduatestudiesintheUnitedStates.

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8.3.3.1Pre-transition

Nevineconsistentlypresentsherselfasapersonwhofitseasilyintotheroleof

student.StudyingEnglishLanguageandlaterstudyingEnglishLiteratureare

constructedasimportant,meaningfulpursuitsinherlifecontext.Thusher

studentandlanguagelearningtrajectoriesarecloselyintertwined.Although

Nevine’sself-presentationtendstolackdevelopmentduetoherbriefutterances,

shestillcomesacross,inheraccountofherschoolandPPexperience,asa

hardworking,high-performingstudentwhoismotivatedby“verysuccessful”

(SS1:3)grades.

Nevineconstructsherselfasastudentwhohasaimsandorientationstostudying

academicEnglishandacademicsubjectsthroughEnglishthatsetherapartfrom

otherstudents.Firstofallshehasconsistentgoalswhichfeedintohermotiveto

dohermaster’sintheU.S.Specifically,shebringsupherGPA(GradePoint

Average)inalmosteveryinterviewtoshowmeherunwaveringintentionto

maintainthelevelrequiredtogainagovernmentscholarshiptostudyabroad.As

astudentinthePPclassroom,however,Nevinepresentsherselfas“distracted”

byothers“becausemaybetheyarestrangersandIdon’tknowthem”(SS1:3)and

asslowtointeractwithherpeers:

K:HowdoyoucommunicatewiththeotherstudentsinyourclassNe:[laughs]Idon’tcommunicateallthetimeswiththem (Ne-SS1:4)

Atthesametime,shepresentsherselfasanEnglishhelpertotheotherstudents,

usingherArabictoexplainandtranslatefortheminclass.Sheevenexpresses

herpreferenceforgroupworkinSS1“toexchangeideasandtohelptogether”

(SS1:4).Indeed,IobservedNevinebothhelpingandsocialisinginArabicwithher

group/partnerinallthreeclassactivities.Thereappearstobeatensionhere

betweenNevine’sorientationtowardsfittinginwithhersocialgroupandher

self-presentationasastudentwhoisdistinctfromtherestintermsofher

competenceinlanguageandher‘disaffected’futurevisionofself.

NevineconstructsherselfasastudentwhosemaininterestisstudyingEnglish

andwhosechosenmajorisEnglishLiterature.Sheisadamantthatsherejected

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TranslationStudiesonceshefoundoutfromthePPadministrationthatshe

wouldhavetostudyArabicandshecontinuestopresentherselfashappily‘nota

Translationstudent’inlaterinterviews.WhenassessingherfinalPPexamination

performance,shedescribesallsubjectsasverygoodapartfromTranslationin

whichshereportsfeeling“alittlebitconfused”(SS3:3)intheexam.

8.3.3.2Post-transition

Nevine’stransitiontouniversitytakesitstollonherpresentationasadedicated

student.Whilestillmakinganefforttoattaingoodgrades,sheemphasisesthe

problematicaspectsofhavingtostudynewsubjectsinwhichsheisnot

interested.Hersocialdiscomfortintheclassroomalsoappearstointensifyinher

self-presentationasastudent.OncesheengageswithherEnglishLiterature

studiesinhersecondyear,however,sheseemstoreviveasastudent,andeven

thedownsidesofheraccountofheruniversitystudyexperiencedonotmarher

overallnarrativeofsuccessinourfinalconversation.

ThefirstproblemthatNevinebringsupafterhertransitiontouniversityisher

lackoffriends:“Ididn’tmakefriendswiththegirlstillnow”(SS3:1)andher

expectationthatshewillnotmakenewfriendsinthefutureduetotheuniversity

systemofchangingclassesforeverycourse.Shetellsmeshealwaysworkson

herowninclass“becauseIhavenofriendsrightnow”(SS3:4)andtheninthe

GELLinterviewwhenIaskherifshespeakstoherclassmatesinEnglishor

Arabicsheasserts:“Ididn’tspeaktothemyet”(SS3/GELL:3).Indeed,Nevine

claimsthroughoutherpost-transitioninterviewsthatsheonlyhasherfewold

ex-PPclassmatesforcompany.Hersocialdiscomfortinheruniversity

environmentissustainedthroughoutandisthusanaspectwhichappears

importantinNevine’sself-presentation.

IncontrasttothepictureshecreatesofherselfasaconfidentstudentinthePP,

nowsheconstructsherselfasbesetwithproblems.WhenwemeetforSS3atthe

beginningoftheacademicyear,Nevineappearsanxiousandoverwhelmedbythe

initialdemandsofadaptingtouniversitystudy.Herresponseshoweverare

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understatedandasusualdonotelaborateonthedetailsofherpresented

problem:

K:…AndsofarhowdoyoufindtheclassesNe:IhavesomeproblemswiththecoursesK:OKtellmeaboutthem.Ne:IntheIslamiccoursetherearesomedifficultiestopass. (Ne-SS3:1)

Sheassuresmethattheproblemisnotoneoflanguagebutofherreluctanceto

studysubjectsotherthanEnglish:“WhenIchoosemymajorIchooseEnglish

becauseIonlywanttostudyEnglish”(SS3:1).ItseemsthatNevinedoesnotsee

thepointoftakinggeneralcoursesinthefreshmanyearandisfindingcertain

subjectssuchasBiologyandArabicverydifficult.Her‘nostalgia’fortheteachers,

classesandlanguagetasksofthePPisreflectedinheruseofemotional

expressionsinheraccountofherPPperiodbutnowsheexpressesher

disappointment“IfeelI’mdisappointed[smalllaugh]”(SS3:1)andherlonely

struggleasauniversitystudent:“It(Biology)’snotverygoodbutI’mtryingtobe

better”(SS3:1).

However,intheGELLinterview,onlyafewdayslater,shepresentsherselfasa

moreengaged,hard-workingstudentwhoneeds“tomemorizethevocabularyin

allthelessonswehave”(SS4/GELL:2).Sherecommendsthebestwaytostudyas:

“Reviseeverythingyoutookinclass.Spendalotoftimereadingandwriting”

(SS4/GELL:3).Hereffortandthoroughnesscomesacrossinoneofherfew

accounts,promptedbyme,ofherstudyprocedure:

K:SowhenyougohomeafterclasseswhatdoyouusuallydoNe:ReviseallthethingsItookinclassK:AndwhatdoyouwriteNe:IwritewhentheteacherspeaksK:Youwritedowneverything?Ne:Yes.K:ThenwhenyougohomeNe:Ireviseit (Ne-SS4/GELL:3)

Nevine’sstudentidentityinSS5ispropelledbyhervisionofherselfgetting“the

bestbachelor’sdegree”(SS5:1)intheUnitedStates.Hersuddenchangeinplan,

tocontinueherundergraduatestudiesoverthere,isinstigated,accordingto

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Nevine,byherdissatisfactionwithherstudentexperienceatSharifa.Shealso

presentsherselfashavingacircleoffriendsintheStateswhichcontrastswith

herexpressedlackofsocialcontactsathome.Eventhoughourinterviewis

conductedonSkype,Icandetectherexcitementabouttheprospectofleavingin

hertone,hersuppressedlaughsandherfacialexpressions.SmallStory2isan

extractofSS5.

SmallStory2(NeSS5:2-3)Escapenarrative(AppendixD2:366-367)

Nevine’soutsiderstatuscomestoaheadinthisnarrativewhichsheconstructsasa

convincingjustificationforherdesiretoabandonheruniversitystudiesinSaudi

ArabiaandtoleaveforAmerica.Iaminitiatorandplotdeviserinourexchangewith

shortpositiveornegativeresponsesputforwardbyNevineandmystrategiesfor

gettinghertotalkmorearetointroducetwoshortnarrativereportstochallengeher

positionings.Nevine’sratherpassive,briefpresentationcontrastswithherfinal

agentiveassertionthatthelifetransformingdecisiontoleavewasreachedbyher

personally.

Nevineintroduceshernegativepicturewithanunderstatement:“…everything’s

gettingalittlemorecomplicatedrightnow”(5)andgoesontostressthedifficultyof

herScienceandMathsgeneralcourses.SurprisinglysheincludesArabicasaSecond

Languageasadifficultcourseforher,asifshehasseveredtieswithherfirst

languageentirely.AsIquestionheraboutdifferentaspectsofheruniversity

experience,Nevinebrieflycommentsonherdifficultcourses(7-11),herlackof

friends(24,29),heraversiontocertainteachers(46-49),theheavyworkload(53,

55,58,60)andherdisappointingresultsinthemid-termtests(62-63,67-68).Nevine

developsasenseofdetachmentfromhersocialenvironmentwhichisstillpresented

asnewandstrangeevenaftertwoandahalfmonths:sheclaims,withanironic

laugh,thatshehasmadenonewfriendsandonlyhasheroldPPfriends,asifunable

tomoveonsocially(24,26).Thereisanemptyspacewherehelpfulteachersonce

caredaboutherandherlearning(79-80);nowthereisalackofconsultationwith

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teachersastheyarenotalwaysavailable(82-83).Indeedthislackofregular

supportisthereasonNevinegivesforherdecisiontomovetouniversityintheStates

(81-86).

IntermsofourinteractionItendtobetheinitiatorofideasandthecontinuer,inthe

sensethatIinputtextintomyinquirieswithwhichNevinecanagreeordisagree.

Forexample,ImakethelinkbetweenNevine’slearninginACSandpreparationfor

studyintheStates:

19K:Isthatgoingtohelpyou20 whenyougotoAmericadoyouthink?21Ne:Yeahabsolutely

DuetoNevine’slimitedresponse,IalsocontinuallyusestrategiestogetNevineto

talkmore,suchasaskinghermultiplequestionswhichmightallowforamore

extendedresponse(e.g.1-3,16-17).WhenIlaughinglyintroduceashortnarrativeto

challengeher‘no-friends’self-presentation,inwhichNourreportsseeingNevine

“alwayswithfriends”(28),Nevinerefusestoratifythisversionofher‘self’:“No.It’s

nottrue,I’msure”(29).Iinsistoncontributingmoretotheplotbyusingthedirect

speechofthecharacter,Nour,tofurtherdefinemyalternativenarrative(30-33).

AgainNevinesummarilydeniesthis(35).Heresheisbothdescribingherselfasan

alienatedsubjectinheruniversityenvironmentandperformingherselfaswithdrawn

andnon-communicativeinherinteractionwithmealso.

NevineandIdonotlaughinsynchronyandthereislittlereflectionorhumourinher

response.WhenIagainusetheaccountofanotherstudentinordertoperhaps

stimulateNevinetotalkmoreaboutherIslamicStudiesclass,sheagaincontradicts

myaccount.ThistimeIrefertoAlex’sreportthatshehasaproblemwiththeIslamic

teacherwho“usesverydifficultEnglishwords”(72).Nevinedistinguishesher

problemfromthatofherclassmate:

76Ne:No,whenItoldyouIhaveaproblem77Ididn’tmeanwiththemanwhoteachesme78Imeanthecourseisnotgood

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Thus,asshedoesinherothersmallstories,Nevinecarvesoutadifferentidentityfor

herselffrommainstreamSaudistudentswhostrugglewiththelanguageinacademic

English-mediumcourses.Herproblemispresentedasoneoflackofinterestinthe

generalcoursesandanindifferencetowardsmostofherteachersandpeers.

NevinepositionsherselfasagentivelyoptingoutofSharifa:sheisprivilegedwithin

hersocioculturalcontextasshehasanavailablealternativewhichisnotavailableto

otherSaudifemalestudents.Nevineimpliesinthisextractthatherprospective

futurelifeandstudyintheStateswilladdressallthestateddeficienciesofher

currentenvironment.Thusitactsasamplejustificationforherdesireto‘escape’to

America.

InSS6shehasreturnedforthesecondsemesteratSharifaandNevineconstructs

her‘failure’toexecuteherplantocontinueherundergraduatestudiesinthe

States.First,shetellsmethatgoodAmericanuniversitieswouldnotaccepther

creditsfromSharifauniversity.Secondly,sheclaimsthatshehadchangedher

mindaboutgoingtouniversityinTexasandhadsethersightsonHarvard

universitybutdidnotscorehighenoughintheTOEFLexaminationtofulfiltheir

requirements.Nevinethuspresentsheraimsasunattainablyhigh,perhapsin

ordertomakeher‘failure’seemmoreacceptable.Nowshepresentsmewithher

‘change’inplanasafirmdecisiononherpart:tograduatefromSharifaandthen

dohermaster’sintheStates.Nevineappearstobehidingherdeep

disappointmentbehindthispositivepresentatione.g.“I’moverit[smiling]”

(SS6:1).Myfieldnotesonourmeetingstartthus:“Ihardlyrecognisedher.She

lookedsothin,frail,nomake-up,hairpushedbackbehindherearswhichstuck

outonbothsidesofheremaciatedface.Lookedmiserablewithashysmile.Feel

likeIhavetokeepthingslight-hearted.Decidenottorecord”(Ne-FN:5).

However,twoandahalfmonthsintoherseconduniversityyear,arenewed,

enthusiasticNevinearrivesatmyhouseforourfinalconversation.Sheisbackto

positioningherselfasahigh-performingstudent,nowclaimingsheachievesthe

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highestgradesinmostsubjects.Whileemphasisingthedifficultyofthework,she

seemsself-assurednow,talksmoreandlaughsalot.Eventheaccountofher

ACS3teacherwithhisindifferent,mechanicalteachingmethodsdoesnotseemto

phaseherpositiveself-presentationasastudent.Neitherdoesherfailureinthe

dreadedStatisticsexam,whichshehastoretake,northe“pain”of“gettingvalue

points”(UnCon:2),whichshehasnotimefor,deterherfromherpathtosuccess.

WhileNevinecommunicatesasenseoffulfilmentasanEnglishLiterature

studentatSharifa,sheneverlosessightofhergoal:tomaintaina3.5GPAin

ordertoqualifyforaSaudischolarshiptodohermaster’sintheStates.

8.3.4Alienatedidentity

Nevineconstructsherselfasonewho,atdifferenttimes,rejectshersocial,

cultural,linguistic,religious,educationalandevenfamilycontexts.Fromthevery

beginning,shepresentsherselfasanexceptionalcaseduetoherdistinctive

background,experience,aspirationsandoutlook.Shetakesonthetrappingsof

her‘adopted’country,theUnitedStates,infood,dressandlanguageand

consistentlypositionsherselfasdistinctfromotherSaudi,EL2students.Itisasif

herlivingandstudyinginSaudiisatransient,preparationstagebeforeher‘real’

educationandcareerintheUS.Attimes,duringthecourseofmydatacollection,

Nevineevenseemedalienatedfromtheresearchproject(andme).Nevine’s

writtenpresentationgivesmoreweighttoheralienationasshedevelopsher

accountinmoredetailinheremailresponses.Itisonlyinourfinalconversation

thatNevineseemstoengagemorewithherlocalsocialandacademic

environment(andmyresearchproject).

FromherinformalinterviewNevinepresentsherselfasif‘inlimbo’:shelivedin

theStatesandyearnstogobackthereassoonasshegraduatesfromSharifa.In

addition,fromthepointofviewofherfirstlanguageArabic,aswehaveseenin

8.3.2,shepresentsherselfasaspeakerofEnglishwhichsheclaimsexclusivelyas

bothhertargetandherappropriatedlanguagethusseparatingherfromother

youngSaudiwomen.Itisintheimpromptugroup(SS2)interviewwithher

fellowstudentsSandraandNourthatNevinecanbeseentoperformanoutsider

identity.Firstofallshehaschosennottoattendtheend-of-yearpartywith

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teachersandstudentswhohavebroughtArabicsavouriesandcakesandare

celebratinginanearbyclassroom.Sherathersitsattheendofthetableand

throughoutourdiscussionconsumesherhamburger,friesandCokeandrarely

speaksunlessIaddressherinperson.WhileSandraandNouranimatedlydiscuss

withmetheirconcernsaboutuniversityinEnglish,Nevinetakesnopartinthis

discussionandmarksadifferentspaceforherselfbyconstructing,infewwords,

herfutureuniversitystudyasunproblematic.

InthesecondpartofthegroupinterviewIbringupthestudyabroadissueand

NevinetakespartinadiscussionwithSandraandNouronthemeritsoflearning

EnglishinahomeorEL1setting.AsSandraandNourinteractinanEL2display,

NevineedgesintotheconversationandtellsherstoryinArabicusingfirst-hand

evidencetocounterNour’sstorysupportingastudyabroadargument.In

responsetoNour’sallegationthathercousincanchatawayinEnglishafterhis

sojournintheStates,Nevinechangesfootingwithherratherintellectualremark:

“aḥisūhādhātonguemūeducation(Ifeelthatis‘tongue’noteducation)”

(SS2/Group-2:4).Herrathercosmopolitancodeswitchinghereseemsout-of-sync

withNour’scolloquialArabicstyle.OnlywhenNevineseemstohavelosther

argumenttoNourdoesshealignherselfwithmysuggestionthatsomepeople

haveatalentforlanguages:“yeahthat’swhatI’mtalkingaboutrightnow”

(SS2/Group-2:4).

Lateronintheconversationinwhichthethreegirlsdiscusslearningforeign

languages,Nevinedistancesherselffromtheothertwowhoagreeonwantingto

learnmorelanguagesinadditiontoEnglish,asiscurrentlycommonamongSaudi

females.NevineinsistsonEnglishbeingsufficientforherneeds:

S:{Englishnowlikenormallanguage}No:{Somegirlwanttolearn4language}Ne:anāaḥismāaḥtājataʿāllamlughahthanīā(IfeelIdon’tneedtolearnanotherlanguage)(Ne-SS2/Group-2:8)

InmaintaininghercontributioninArabicindiscussionwithSandraandNour,

sheseemstobeenactingfourpositionings:a)positioningmeoutsidethe

interaction,althoughfortheothertwoIamdeliberatelypositionedasaudience

bytheiruseofEL2,b)positioningSandraandNourasEL2learnersandc)

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positioningherselfasbilingual,inthesensethatshespeaksinthefirstlanguage

(eitherEnglishorArabic)ofthepersonsheisaddressing,andd)asamore

intellectualuserofEnglish,perhapsmoreonaparwithmethanwithSandraor

Nour.AstheconversationcontinuesNevinedeclaresherdislikeofArabicstudy

andinSmallStory3Sandrateasesherforher‘weak’Arabic.Nevinehasalready

stavedoff,inanArabicaside(“mātitkallam(Don’ttalk!)[laughs]”–SS2/Group-

2:3)Sandra’searliercommentpositioningherasanEnglishspeakerbecauseshe

usedtoliveinAmerica.ThusNevineforetellsthebaitingtocomeinSmallStory

3.

SmallStory3:(Group/SS2-2:10-12)The‘TeasingNevine’Narrative(App.D3:368-369)

AlthoughthiscanbeseenasSandra’snarrative(seeSandra’sSmallStory2)asitis

shewhoinitiatesandprovokesNevineoverher‘weak’Arabic,IfocusonNevine’s

performanceinnegotiatinganidentity‘space’forherselfinrelationtotheother

speakers.Itisimportanttoemphasisetheinformalnatureofthemeeting:although

Sandra,Nour,NevineandIdiscusstopicsrelatedtoEnglish,theatmosphereis

upbeatandrelaxed,appropriateperhapsforsomelivelybanter.

WhenIinvitethegrouptocommentonthelevelofNevine’sArabic(1),Sandra

launchesintoanaudaciousassessment,comparingNevine’sArabictothatofher

domestichelp(2).Asweconvulsewithshockedlaughter,Nevineattemptstostall

Sandra’sbaiting:“yāwaylīk(I’mwarningyou!)”(3).Sandra’sprovocationgains

momentumasshecriticises(usingthethirdperson)Nevine’sArabicspeech(2),

translation(4),handwriting(6)andherknowledgeofClassicalArabic(14-19),leading

tothehyperbolicsuggestion:“…wemustmakeanewlanguageforNevineand[Nour

laughs]wewanttomakeabookforthislanguagewāllāh(really)”(20).

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Nevineappearstotakenooffencetothebaiting:shesharesinthe‘joke’and

participatesinthecriticism,evencompletingSandra’scommentsasifthelatteris

referringtosomeoneelse(14-19).Nevineevenappearstoenjoyherperformanceas

‘victim’whichtakesoncharacteristicsofanancientdramawithherArabictheatrical

expressionssuchas“yāwaylī(I’mdonefor)”(11)indicatinghersubmissionto

Sandra’s‘onslaught’.Inheralmostcontinuouslaughterandinheraidingand

abettingofSandra’scriticalremarks,Nevineestablishestheexchangeasacomedic,

social‘event’:atnopointdoessheshowanyobjectionorpersonalaffronttothe

criticismofherArabicasifshedoesnotholdthelanguageclosetoheridentity.

AsaninteractionalaccomplishmentNevine’s‘teasing’isco-constructedbythe

group.WhenSandrabeginstoslateherforherpoortranslationintoArabic,Nevine

burstsintohystericallaughterandIattempttobearestraininginfluenceby

remarkingthatSandraalsoteasesmeformyArabic.Nouralsouttersanexclamatory

command:“[Laughing]=khalāṣ(That’senough!)”(7),inordertocurbSandrabutto

noavail,asthe‘joke’hasreachedapointofnoreturn.Withaseriesofshort

dramaticlines,itrisestoapeakasSandradenigratesNevine,whobemoansherfate

(11).ImakeanappealtoNourwhomanagesquiteskilfullytotemperthe‘onslaught’

byevaluatingNevine’sArabicinamoremeasuredway:

(13)No:Nosomewordsit’sgood.[Alllaughingstill]ButsomewordsIthink{maybe

she’sAmerican}

SandraacquiescestoNour’smoremoderateevaluation(14)butthenproceedsto

ploughintoNevine’s‘poor’knowledgeofClassicalArabic:herdramatic

exclamation(18)isfollowedbyNevine’sratification(19)andsothecomedic

momentumrisesoncemore.Inresponsetomyconsequentseriousinstigationofher

defence(21-29),Nevineputsuponlyamildjustificationofherpositionas‘deficient’

Arabicuser:sheconfirmsherinternationalschooling:“…butIwasinanAmerican

schoolaninternationalschool”(22).Interestingly,thisreferencetoanAmerican

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schoolreflectsbacktoNour’searliercommentaboutNevine:“…Ithink{maybeshe’s

American}”(13)andseemstosupportherplayfulspeculationaboutNevine’s‘real’

identity.NevineoffersonlyatokenclaimofaSaudiMuslimbackgroundhere:“Iwas

studyingIslamicStudiesbutalittlebit”(28).ThusNevineconstructsherselfasa

studentandalanguagelearner/userwhoisdifferentfromSandraandNourinterms

oftheirMuslimandAL1/EL2identitiesandIreinforcethisfortheaudience:“So

Arabicwasmorelikeaforeignlanguage,soofcourseherexperienceexplainsit”(29).

Therestofthegroupdonotseemthatinterestedinthe‘justice’ofthecase,

however.Sandra,perhapsharkingbacktomyearliercommentaboutherlaughingat

myArabic,nowturnsthetablesonme:“OKmissbutyoualso”(30).Asa‘poor’

ArabicspeakerInowbecomethe‘victim’muchtothemerrimentoftheothersinthe

group,especiallyNevine,whoisperhapsrelievedthatshehasnowbeenreplaced.I

deflectthe‘new’dramaandrefusethepositionofthegroupentertainerespeciallyif

theyaretomakefunofmyArabic.NevineandIarenow bothpositionedinthe

‘outsider’campbutIamreluctanttorelinquishmyEnglishresearcherstatus.

Inspiteofbeingteasedongroundsofnationality,firstlanguageandstatus,Nevine

doesnotdefendorassertaparticularsubjectpositioninherinteractionwithSandra

andNour.SheseemsnottoconstructSandra’steasingasaseriousprovocation

againstheridentityasanArab,butasajoke,perhapsappropriateforanend-of-year

spontaneousget-together.NevineisdistancedbySandra’suseofthethird-person

throughoutherteasingandshe,inturn,createsdistancethroughheruseofArabic,

melodramaticexpressions.

InthisgroupnarrativeNevineoccupiesadifferentspaceinbackground,cultureand

ethnicaffiliationfromSandraandNourbutthiscanbeseeninhercomplicit

responsetotheirpositioningofherratherthantoanyagentiveself-positioning.

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Theybothpositionheras‘deficient’AL1speakerandattributethistoher‘outsider’

status.NevinepositionsherselfasoneofagrowingnumberofSaudistudentswho

havegraduatedfromEnglish-mediuminternationalschoolsandfindArabicstudy

extremelychallenging.Assuch,Nevine’sself-positioningenterstheongoingdebate

overArabicversusEnglish-mediumeducationatschoolanduniversitylevelsinSaudi

Arabia.MasterdiscoursesofyoungSaudis‘losing’theirArabicasaconsequenceof

beingbroughtupbyforeigndomesticworkersarealsoevokedwhenSandra

comparesthestandardofArabicofher“maid”(6,8)withthatofNevine.

Afterhertransitiontouniversity,Nevine’ssenseofalienationtoherinstitution

andlearningcommunityseemstobuildfurther.Aswehaveseen,sheemphasises

inSS3thatshehasnonewfriendsandworksonherownintheclassroom.This

senseofalienationseemstorisetoaheadinSS5whenmuchofherperformance

actsasjustificationforherdecisiontomovetotheStatesandtocontinueher

undergraduateeducationthere.

Nevinedevelopsasubjectpositionasbelongingtoadifferentcommunity.In

Texas,wheresheintendstoattenduniversity,shehas“twoofmycousinsand

threeofmyfriends,allofthemAmerican”(SS5:1).Onasociallevelthen,she

imaginesherlifewillbebetter:“Iknowalotofpeopleoverthere,really”(SS5:1).

Thiscontrastswithherpictureofherlocalsociallife.Hersenseofestrangement

extendstoherownfamilyset-up:whensheclaimssheis“happytoleave

everything”(SS5:1)sheincludesherlivingarrangements:“I’mlivingwithmy

motherhere,sotheaccommodationisgoingtobebetter”(SS5:1).Onmyside,I

amcarefulnottopressheronfamilymattersasherfather’sdeathandthesocial

andemotionalrepercussionsfeltbyherandherfamilystillseemtometoloom

large.

Escapingherlocalfamilyandsocialsituationcanbeseenasasub-textof

Nevine’splan.OnlyhermaternaluncleinSaudiispresentedasasignificant

other,perhapsasafatherfigureinherlife,inanemailfollowingherSS5

269

interview.Hehasalwaysstoodupforher“intheworstcircumstances”and

“alwaysgivesmeahandwheneverIneed”(email:01/12/2012).Anothersub-

text,whichIreadintothiswrittenpresentation,isthatNevinehasbeenthrough

difficulttimesinSaudi.Hermotherhasnotbeenquiteashelpfulasheruncle.

NevinepresentsherhereasanatypicalArabmotherwhogivesher“tough”

adviceandis“veryhappy”(email01/12/2012)thatsheisleavingfortheStates.

Asonewhointendstouprootfromhercountry,society,universityandeven

familyinordertofollowherindividualtrajectorytoabetterlifeelsewhere,

NevineconstructsahighlyunconventionalandunusualpathforayoungSaudi

female.Itissurprisingthatshemaintainsthissubjectpositionwithsuch

certaintyinheremailwhichcontinuesSS5:“I'mverysatisfiedbecauseI

absolutelyselectedtherightandbestdecisionformylife”(email:25/11/2012).

Shepresentsherdecisiontoleaveasalife-changingchoicemadefreelybyher

withoutconstraintsorrestrictions,suchaseconomicimplicationsorfamily

commitmentswhichmightimpedetherealisationofherimaginedself.

Nevineconstruesthesocietysheisleavingbehindashavinglittleofvalueor

benefit.ShedescribesSaudisocietyassuperficial:peopleonlycareabout:“cars,

parties,dresses,makeupandblablabla”andthisdisplaystheir“realignorance”

(email:01/12/2012).ShedrawsapessimisticpictureofthefutureofSaudi

societyandcomparesherimaginedfutureintheStatesinnaivelyoptimistic

terms,thuspolarisingthesetwoimaginedcommunities.Furthermore,sheclaims

thatSaudisocietydoesnotappreciateeducationanddoesnotencourage

students.Americansocietyispersonifiedasonewhich“admirestheeducation”,

“riseupthecleverstudents” andisworthyofNevine’sefforts:“IwanttopresentmyeducationtoacountrythatdeserveswhatI'mdoing”(email:25/11/2012).

NevineappearstoseverheridentityasamemberofSaudisocietyasifher

currenteducationalandsocialcontexthasbecomeunhealthyandstultifying:“I

don’twanttowastemytimeherecauseI’mstartingfeelfrustratedand

disappointedandIdon’twanttobelikethat”(email:01/12/2012).Notallthe

faultforheralienationiswithSaudisocietyandeducation,however:Nevine

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labelsherselfas“almostawithdrawngirl”(email:25/11/2012)andas

“antisocial”(email:01/12/2012).Sheprefersto“stayaloneinordertothink

wiselyandI’malwayslikethis”(email:17/12/2012).Aswellaspresenting

herselfashavinga‘loner’personalitytrait,shealsodescribesheralienationasa

failureofherindividualaccommodationwithhersociety.Thusinheremails

Nevinealsoperformsasearchingwithinherselfforanswerstoherfeelingsof

alienation.

InNevine’soralaccountinSS6thereisverylittlesenseofherbelongingtoher

universityenvironment:sheclaimsshehasnoattachmentstoteachersandhas

“nothingincommonwiththeSaudigirls”(SS6:2).Sheexpressesherintentionto

‘breakaway’fromlivingwithhergrandmotherandtofindherown,independent

accommodation,whichwouldbehighlyunusualforasingleSaudifemale.Nevine

alsosolicitsmyhelpinfindingherahomestayAmericanorBritishfamilyandin

herapplicationtotakepartinaleadershipconferenceintheStatesasa

representativeofSharifaUniversity.Sheisnotsuccessfulinanyofthese

endeavoursbuttheyreflecthercontinuedpresentationofayoungwoman

seekingtotranscendheridentityasaconventionalSaudifemalestudent.

Nevinedisappearsfortherestoftheacademicyearonlytoemergeinthe

summerholidayinemailsandonFacebookasahappy-go-luckyvacationerin

SanFrancisco,withhertwomalecousinswho“adore”heras“theydonothavea

sister”(UnCon:1).HersummerintheStatesseemstohaverevivedherforher

secondyearatuniversityandtohavereinforcedhergoalsbyhelpingherseean

endinsight:“I’mgonnagraduateafterthenextyearandbeginachievingmygoal

andmynewlifeinthestates.(email:04/10/2013).Paralleltothis‘renewal’,

Nevineimbuesourresearchrelationship(andourfriendship)withnewenergy.

Shenowbombardsmewithphonetextsandemailsurgingmetomeetherand

visitsmeatmyhouseforthefinalconversationofmyresearch.

InourfinalconversationNevinestilllooksverythinbuthappyandhermanneris

upbeatandinvigoratedespeciallywhenshetalksabouttheprospectof

graduatingin“ayearandasemester”(UnCon:1)andgoingtoJohnHopkinsora

271

similaruniversityintheStates.Ihavenotedthatinmyestimationsheisunlikely

toachieveeitherofthese,butNevinetendsalwaystopresentanidealfutureself

whichseemsunrealistic.NowthatIhavereadanautobiographicalpieceof

writingofNevine’s,wediscussherfamilyrelationshipsandshetellsmethatshe

hasalwayshadproblemswithhermotherwhowasnegligent“butnowIamable

totalkaboutit”(UnCon:1).Nevineoffersamorebalancedlinguisticself-

presentationinourfinalconversation:asabilingual,shechatsawayhappilywith

hercousinsinArabiconthephoneandengagesinmoreextensiveconversations

withmeinEnglish.ThusNevine’salienatedselfseemstohaveeffecteda

temporarycompromisewithhercurrentlearningandlivingsituation.

8.3.5WriterofEnglish

Nevine’swriterofEnglishidentitysurfacesthroughmostofourinteractionsand

feedsintoherotheridentitiesaslanguagelearneranduser,asstudentandas

outsider.Itisthroughherwritingthatshepresentshervalidationasalanguage

learnerandstudentandwhenthiswriterselfappearssuppressed,asinour

interviewsinherfreshmanyear,adiscontentmentpervadeshertalk.Nevine’s

preferenceforwritingleadstoachangeinmethodofdatacollectionsothather

emailsbecomeanimportantvehicleofwrittenpresentation.Thoughhermore

extensivewrittenresponseappearsmoreheartfeltandlessmechanicalthanher

oraloneatthebeginning,onfurtheranalysisitisaqualitativelydifferentkindof

presentation.Asherreaderselfseemstocatchupwithherwriterselfinher

secondyear,herpresentationasaliterarycharacterisgivenfullreinandakind

offictionalisedselfiscreatedthroughherwriting.

Ontheotherhand,thislinkingbetweenherreaderandwriteridentitiesalsohas

theeffectofenrichingandexpandingonourinteractionasinterlocutors.The

identityNevineclaimsthroughoutheraccountoflearningandusingEnglishis

oneofwriter.Inherfirstpost-activityinterviewshepresentsherWritingskillas

moredevelopedthanherSpeakingorReading.Furthermore,inmyobservation

ofherworkinginActivity1,Nevineactedassecretaryforhergroup,writingthe

storyoftheirroleplaybutnotactinginitherself:“Therestofthegroupfeedin

ideas.NevinedictatesandwritesthescenarioinEnglishwhiletheotherstryto

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keepupwithher”(Activity1:14).HerattachmenttoEnglishwritingsetsher

apartfromotherstudentsinthePPclassroomwhogenerallyfinditvery

challengingandneedherhelp.

NevinecontinuesthisfocusonherselfasawriterofEnglishwhenreviewingher

workatthePPoncesheisatuniversityinSS3.AsanexampleofMsA’s“very

clever”(SS3:2)examquestion,Nevineexplainsawritingtaskwhichwastowrite

awholeparagraphonthesubjectofhomelessness.Asaresultshecomments:

“Someofthestudentsgotveryweakgradesofcourse”(SS3:2),implyingthatshe

herselfdidwell.AlsowhenshepraisesMsL’sclassesduetothefrequentreading

andwritingtaskstheydid,sheclaimsthatsheperformedverywellontheessays

assheenjoyswritingthemsomuch.Thus,althoughNevinedoesnotdiscussthe

writingprocessitself,shetendstocommentoninstancesofherwritingtoshow

hersuccessfullanguagelearning.

ReadinghastendedtolagbehindwritinginNevine’saccountbutintheGELL

interviewsheinsiststhatshereadsandwritescontinually,eveninherspare

time.Howevershedoesnotseemtochallengeherselfwithherreadingandonly

likestoread“easynovels”(SS4/GELL:4).ThisissomeadvanceonSS1,inwhich

shetoldmethatsheneverreadsforpleasure.Nowsheratesreadingas

importantontheGELLsheet:“becauseifIdoreadIcanlearnmoreEnglish”

(SS4/GELL:4).ThisisthefirsttimethatNevinesuggestssheisreadingand

perhapsalsowritingfiction.

Regardingherself-presentationininterviewsSS5andSS6,duringherfreshman

year,Nevine’swriteridentityappearstobecomesubmergedinher

dissatisfactionwiththegeneralcoursessuchasComputerStudies,Statisticsand

Arabicwhichdonotallowherthegrowthsheseeksasawriter.OnlyACSgives

herthewritingpracticeandtechniquessheseesasuseful.However,her

emergenceasareaderofEnglishLiteratureinourfinalconversationinher

seconduniversityyeardoesfeedintoherwriteridentity,whichcannowbeseen

toblossominhertalkandintheautobiographicalpiecesshehaswrittenaspart

ofhernon-fictionreadingandwritingcourse.

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Nevine’semailsbecameimportantsourcesofdataparticularlyherpost-SS5

emailresponsestomyinterviewquestions.Sheseemedeagertospendtime

writingheranswersasifthiswasasourceofenjoyment:inanemailbeforeher

secondsetofanswersshewrote“Ilovewritingmorethanucanimagine”(email

30/11/2012).AsIthenquestionedherfurtheronthesamepointsintwo

subsequentemails,shewasabletoexpandinsomedetailonherself-

presentation.Whilenotavocalnarrator,perhapsinherwritingNevinehadthe

timetomakethoseliteraryconnectionswhichhelpedhercreateacreditableand

interestingpersona.

Presentingherself,herfamily,heraspirationsthroughwritingbroughtmy

investigationtoadifferentlevel:althoughhertone,appearanceandfacial

expressionswerenowlost,Nevinegainedanewvoice,amorecritical,emotional

voicewhichseemedtopositionmemoreasconfidanteandherselfmoreasagent

inherlifechoices.ShewaseagertosendmeherautobiographiessothatImight

seeherachievementsasawriter.Interestingly,shepresentsherselfinthemas

anoutsidertohersocietyevenwhenwritingaboutherelementaryschool

experiences.Thenegligenceofherparentsseemsexaggeratedinherwritingand

herpastlifeispresentedasanightmarishstruggle.Outofthisstrugglethe‘I’

emerges,resoluteanddeterminedtobeappreciatedandacknowledgedasa

successfulwriterandacademicinthebestuniversities.

Likewise,inheraccountofherimaginedself,fiveyearsfromnow,whichshesent

measanemailattachmentbeforeourfinalconversation,Nevinecreatesahighly

idealisedfutureselftocontrastwiththepictureofherasamiserable,isolated

child.Nevinefrequentlyusesliteraryturnsofphrasetoembellishherwriting

andherover-elaborateandoftenstilteduseofmetaphorandlanguagehasthe

effectofdistancingthereaderfromhervision,forexample:“Ipassthetormented

bridgetosuccessandIcompletelymovetoaradiantterminal”(email:

26/10/2013).WritinginEnglishhasbecomeNevine’svehicleofexpressionfor

herglorifiedfutureself.

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8.3.6SummaryofNevine’sbignarrativesandsmallstories

Throughouttheinterviews,NevinedevelopsadifferentELLUandstudent

identityfromherpeersintermsofherpast,presentandfutureandbuildsa

senseofpersonalandsocialalienationwhichintensifiesafterhertransitionto

universityparticularlyinheremailcommunications.Whileherfinalpresentation

inherseconduniversityyearshowsheraccommodationandengagementasa

literaryreaderandwriter,NevinestillmarksherselfasdifferentfromotherEL2

students.Furthermore,intheperformanceofonewhorejectsherlocal

communityandinventsanAmericanpersona,Nevineconstructsahighly

unconventionalroleasayoungSaudiwoman.

WhileNevinecomesacrossasaratherflatcharacterinherconstructionof

identityduetothepaucityofnarrativesandthelackofanoralperformance

dimension,subjectpositionsemergeinherconversationswithotherEL2

learnersandinherwrittenself-presentations.Inherfirstsmallstory,for

example,shespeaksasonewhoengagesandsocialisesasinterpreterand

explainerinagroupactivityandinheremailssheadoptsanagentivepositionin

takingstepstoemigratewhichseemstoconflictwithherusualpassiveroleas

languagelearnerandstudent.Thesmallstoriesalsounpacktheawkwardnessin

ourinterviewinteractions.Forexample,myattemptstohookNevinewith

snippetsofotherparticipantstoriesinher‘Escape’narrativemeetwithrather

stonydenial,suggestingthatsheisbothresistingherroleasintervieweeandas

memberofanArabEL2group.Inourfinalconversation,Nevinepositionsmeas

anolderfriendwithacommonloveofliteratureandindicatesthatsheisonly

comfortabletalkingtomewhenourinteractionremainsonafriendlyfooting.

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CHAPTER9DISCUSSION

9.1Introduction

Combininginsightsfromtheirongoingbigstoryandfromselectedsmallstories,

thisDiscussionchapterseekstobringtogetherthemainissuesintermsofthe

identityconstructionofmyfourparticipants,itslinkstosocialidentityandits

relationshipwiththeturbulenceandstrugglesofthetransitionprocess.This

chapteralsosetstheissuesinthecontextoftheidentity,narrativeandtransition

literatureinthefieldofappliedlinguistics.

Whenlanguagelearnersspeak,Norton(2013:50)claims,“…theyareconstantly

organizingandreorganizingasenseofwhotheyareandhowtheyrelatetothe

socialworld”.Aswehaveseen,theidentitiesofmyfourparticipantswere

constantlybeingre-organisedwithintheircommoncategoriesoflanguage

learnerandstudent.Aslanguagelearnersandstudents,theiridentity

constructionsandperformancesareshowntobecloselyconnectedtotheir

changinginvestmentsinlearningandusingEnglishandtheseinvestmentscan

alsobeseeninrelationtootherfacetsofemergingidentitysuchasgenderedand

ethnolinguisticsubjectpositions.

Table9.1-SalientIdentitiesinBigNarrative

*EnglishLanguageLearner/User

ALEX SANDRA NOUR NEVINEELLU* ELLU ELLU ELLUGeneralStudent Student Student StudentTranslationStudent/ Counsellor/ SocialCommentatorAlienatedSelfFutureTranslator PsychologicalSelf OppositionalStudent QuietLoner Mediator EnglishWriterFamilyMember Mother

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Thesalientidentitypositionstheytookupintheiraccounts,inadditiontothose

ofELLUandstudent,areshowninTable9.1.Theseidentitiesrepresent

temporarily‘fixed’subjectivitieswhichremainconstant,developorchangeover

timeandspace(Block,2007).Alexstandsoutfromtheothersinthatthreeofher

mainsubjectpositionsrelatetoherstudentidentity,indicatingaconsistentfocus

onthisaspectofherperformance.SandraandNourroottheiridentitiesasEL2

learnersandyoungwomenintheirsocieties,whileAlexandNevinecanbothbe

seenasoutsiderstotheirlearningandculturalcontextsintheirrespective

oppositionalandalienatedidentities.

Participants’differentsalientidentitieslinktotheirELLUandstudentidentities

inconflictingorreinforcingways.Forexample,Alex’ssubjectpositionasfamily

membercanbeseentoconflictwithhergeneralstudentidentity,inthatherself-

positioningasstudentisattimescompromisedbyfamilyculturalconstraints.On

theotherhand,Sandra’scounsellororpsychologicalsubjectpositionis

presentedasenhancingherELLUidentitywhenshestrivestounderstand

Englishtextsofapsychologicalnatureon-linesothatshemayguideher

‘delinquent’brotherinhisobsessionwithgirls.

Thesesalientidentitiesarenotallconstant:thereisasenseofchronologyinthe

orderofcategoriesandofmovementwithinthecategories.ForexampleAlex’s

oppositionalstudentandfamilymemberidentitiesandSandra’squietloner

identitydevelopedafterthetransitiontouniversity,aspartoftheirrenegotiation

andreappraisalofselfasuniversitystudents.Nevine’salienatedselftookona

positiveaspectinourfinalconversation,whileNour’snarratedmediatoridentity

tookadownturninthelastinterview.Howevertherearealsoconsistencies

acrossthebigidentities:Nourcontinuallypositionedherdaughterasthe

embodimentofherwished-forselfandperformedtheroleofsteadfast,

ambitiousmother.Alexwasalsoconsistentinherself-constructionas

Translationstudentandfutureprofessionaltranslator,althoughshedidraise

doubtsoverherowncapabilitiesattheendofherfinalinterview.

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Thedifferenttrajectoriesofparticipants’communicatedsatisfactionaslanguage

learnersandEnglish-mediumstudents,reflectedintheinterviewtitles,canbe

comparedinTable9.2below.

Table9.2.LearningTrajectoriesintheBigNarrative

A. PreliminaryProgramme

*Groupinterview

B. University

ALEX SANDRA NOUR NEVINESS1AsatisfiedPP2English Findinganiche. TakingnewchallengesProductivebutdetached. learner. onboardwithhelp.

SS2SomecracksinsystemLearningmoreand G*-UrgentneedtoG-OutgrowingthePP.beginningtoshow. more.improve.

SS3I’vecompletedthePPyear Reachingforthesky. Movingclosertomy(SS3aftertransition) buthaven’tmovedfar. dream.

ALEX SANDRA NOURNEVINESS4ThisboundarycrossingisMyMuslimidentityToomuchonmyplate(SS3)EncounteringharderthanIthought.&futureconcerns.now. problems.

(SS4)SustaininganEnglishwriterself.

SS5Reachingdangerpoint.Problemsofthe GettingveryhardReachingforall-round universityfledgling.butmotivationunwaned.idealselfinU.S. SS6MovingonwithsomeModeratesuccessStillstrugglingtocopeResignedbutstrategy. infacingnewchallenges.withthenew. dissatisfiedatSharifa. SS7Risingtothechallenges (unrec.con.)Buildingnow. anewEng.Lit.self.

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Thebignarrativeoftheparticipantsaslanguagelearnersandusersare

representedassomewhatsimilarinthattheyallprojectedareasonably

satisfiedsenseofselfintheirfirstinterview;however,whileNourandSandra

expressedaheightenedlevelofwell-beingbySS3,AlexandNevineboth

indicatedthattheywerenotbeingsufficientlystretchedinPP2.Subsequently

allparticipants’ELLUandstudentidentitiesappeartohaveundergoneasudden

slumpaftertheirtransitionfromthePPtouniversity,whichwascritically

communicatedinSS4(Nevine’sSS3)andperformedwithvaryingdramatic

intensityinSS5,atleasttwomonthslater.Theperformedquestforareparation

andreconstitutionofidentitywithintheuniversitylearningcommunity(SS6

andAlex’sSS7)variedconsiderablybetweenparticipants.Aswecansee,

Nevine’soverallpresentationofhertrajectorycontrastsmarkedlywiththatof

theotherthree.

Theserepresentationsindicategeneraldevelopmentsandmovementsin

participants’presentationsoflearnertrajectoriesbuttelluslittleaboutthe

ambivalenceandcontradictionswhichformedpartoftheirbignarratives.The

smallstoriesgiveamorenuancedview:thesenarrativesmarkaparticular

turningpoint,changeinidentitypresentationorexpositionofaproblemand/or

struggleinthecourseoftheparticipants’learning.Theanalysisofthesmall

storiesenhancedmyunderstandingofthecomplex,shiftingsubjectpositions

whichparticipantsnavigatedininteraction.

InmycasestudychaptersIusedNorton’s(2013:45)descriptionofidentity-

“howapersonunderstandshisorherrelationshiptotheworld,howthat

relationshipisconstructedacrosstimeandspace,andhowtheperson

understandspossibilitiesforthefuture”-toinformmyanalysisofparticipants’

identityconstructions.Norton’sdescriptioncomprisesthereferential

componentofparticipanttalk:ittakesinthecontent,thetemporalaspectand

theinfluenceoflargersocialstructuresonidentityworkindifferentsettings.

However,itseemstoleaveoutawholedimensionwhichisimportanttomy

investigation,namelythemannerofpresentationofcontent,thewayinwhichit

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emergesfromtheinteractivecontextandtheproductionofidentityinthedoing

(Pennycook,2001).

Mystudysuggeststhatamerethematicnarrativeanalysisdoesnotprovidea

richenoughunderstandingofparticipants’identityconstructions.Throughself-

presentation,narrativepositioningandperformancedevicesparticipants

communicatedevaluativestancesandagency,bothintermsoftherolesthey

assignedtothemselvesandothersinstoryworldsandtheirrolesasstorytellers

ininteraction(Moita-Lopes,2006;DeFinaandGeorgakopoulou,2012).For

example,throughperformingthedupedandlaterangrystudentroleinher

storyworldininteractionwithme,Alexcounteractedboththedeceptivevoices

ofthePPandmyenactedpositionasdefenderoftheinstitutionandcreateda

complexoppositionalidentity(seeAlex’s‘BadPPnarrative,pp151-153).

9.2RelationshipwithEnglish

IwillfirstexaminehowparticipantslocatedthemselvesasEL2learnersin

discoursesofEnglishandthenhowtheypositionedthemselveswithinthe

contextoftheinterview.Thesetwosectionsprovideaframefortheiridentity

constructions.Allfourparticipantsgenerallyexpressedtheiraffiliationto

Englishandtheircommitmenttofurtherlearningofthelanguage.Ifoundno

evidenceinparticipants’accountsoftheEnglishversusIslamandversusArabic

discoursesdiscussedin2.3.1and2.3.2.InagreementwithKabel’s(2007)

responsetoKarmani’s(2005b)vitriolicattackonEnglishasanimperialistic

language,Ifoundthatmyparticipantsgavevoicetotheir“emergentagencies

andsubjectivities”(Kabel,2007:136)intheirsecondlanguage,thus

appropriatingEnglishfortheiragendasofself-presentationandresistance.

Thenatureanddegreeoftheirexpressedaffiliationseemedtodependonhow

theyrelatedEnglishtotheirconsistentorchangingshort-termandlong-term

goalsandhowtheypositionedEnglishinrelationtotheir‘inheritance’language,

Arabicintheinteractionalcontext.Actuallanguageuseandlearners’social

identityconstructionsoftencontradicttheassumptionthatethnicgroups

inheritlanguagetraditions(Leung,HarrisandRampton1997).Nevine,for

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example,presentedherselfasneitheraffiliatednorexpertinherlanguageof

‘inheritance’andinthecourseofinterviewsconstructedandnegotiatedan

ethnolinguisticidentityofoutsider.

AlexexpressedanaffectiveconnectiontoEnglishbut,atthesametime,asanex-

stateschoolstudent,voicedhersatisfactionwithherArabicknowledgeand

achievementinherclaimtoafuturetranslatoridentity.Shepresentedan

educationinEnglishasamarkofculturalandsymboliccapital(Bourdieu,

1991),leadingtoprofessionalgainsandthepublicacknowledgementofher

hoped-forexpertiseinspokenEnglish.Indeed,Alex’saffiliationtoEnglishis

constructedinherfinalinterview,asanidentificationwithArabfemaleEnglish

speakerswhocandisguisetheirinheritedethnolinguisticidentitiesbytakingon

English‘expertise’identitiesinpublic(seeA-‘Idealandpossibleself’narrative-

pp158-160).

Similarly,throughouttheinterviews,NourstressedtheimportanceofEnglishas

cultural,socialandeconomiccapitalforherandherdaughterandforthe

civilizinginfluenceofEnglishonhercultureandcommunity.Nouralso

constructedhersocietyasintheprocessofbecomingmultilingualand,inthe

groupinterview,presentedherselfasaspiringtobemultilingualalso.Her

imaginedcommunity(Anderson,1991)ofSaudiArabiaasasocietyis

constructedasmovingforwardandherpositionisconstructedasoneof

facilitatorandmediatorofitsprogress.

Sandra,ontheotherhand,presentedherorientationtoEnglishasambivalent

andunstable.Inthegroupinterviewsheconstructedthelanguageasa

stepping-stonetothelearningofotherlanguagesandexpressedherpastdislike

ofEnglish.However,inPP2andPP3sheassociatedhercommunicationin

Englishwithhernewfoundself-confidenceandwellbeingand,asthefemale

JapaneseEFLstudentsinMcMahill’s(1997,2001)study,madepositive

associationsbetweenEnglishandthevoicingofherfeelingsandopinions.In

positioningherinheritancelanguage,Arabic,ascomplicatedandobstructiveto

communicationinher‘Arabicproblem’narrative(seepp168-171),Sandra

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constructedtherelationshipbetweenlanguageandidentityasasiteofstruggle

andambivalence(Norton,2013[2000]).

Nevinestandsapartfromtheotherthreeparticipantsinherrejectionofher

‘inheritance’ethnolinguisticidentity;atthesametime,shepresentedan

exclusiveAmericanEnglish-affiliated‘multimodal’identityinlanguage,dress,

foodandbehaviour(Block,2007)andinherdepictionofherfamily,herfuture

goalsandherimaginedidentity.AlthoughNevinedisplayedherabilityto

converseandargueinArabicwithSandraandNourinthegroupinterview,she

presentedherselfasoneintheprocessofdeveloping,“astrongaffiliationtoand

expertiseinanotherlanguagecommunity”(Block,2007:40).

Theselearners’investmentsinEnglishcanbeseenascomplexandunstable

(Norton,2013).WhenSandrachosetoprojecther‘spiritual’identityinSS4,for

example,herinvestmentinbeingaworthyMuslimseemedtosupersedethatof

learningEnglish.Nouralsopaidlessattentiontoherinvestmentinlearning

Englishwhenthekeyelementinhersurvivalasauniversitystudentbecame

herabilitytonegotiatemarkswithherteachers.Likewise,Alex’sactof

compromisewithherfamilycultureattheendofherfinalinterviewappeared

toreduceherprofessedinvestmentinreachingnear-nativestatusasanEnglish

speakerandinbecominganoutstandingtranslator.OnlyNevineconsistently

upheldhercommitmenttoimprovingherEnglishinordertoaccruethe

necessarylinguisticcapitaltofulfilherimaginedselfataprestigiousuniversity

intheStates.Thusparticipantidentitydimensionsarecloselyinterrelated,in

thatlanguageidentitycannotbeunderstoodwithoutanunderstandingofother

facetssuchasconstructionsofreligious,studentorimaginedidentities(Block,

2007).

9.3DevelopinganEL2researchrelationship

Myorientationtointerviewsassocialpracticeinadditiontotheirstatusas

researchinstruments(Talmy,2010)ledmetoviewparticipants’accountsas

shapedbyourcourseofinteractionsandbythenatureofourdeveloping

researchrelationship.Intermsofthelanguageofourinteraction,my

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participantsweremadeawarethattheycouldswitchtoArabicatanytime,but

theyallseemedtoprefertointeractwithmeinEnglish,asotherresearchers

(e.g.Vitanova,2002;Rugen,2013)foundintheirconversationswiththeirEL2

participants.AlexandNevinehardlyeverusedArabicwithme;Sandra

frequentlypepperedherEnglishwithyaʿnīandoccasionallynegotiatedthe

EnglishmeaningofArabicwordsorintroducedmetoArabicterms.EvenNour

graduallyletgoofArabicexceptforIslamicexpressionslikeinshāʾAllāhandal-

ḥamdulillāh.AlexandSandracommentedonthebenefitsofourinteractionto

theirgrowingEL2oralcompetenceaspartofourthriving,mutuallyproductive

relationship,astheyclaimedtoperceiveit.

NourusedArabicfrequentlyinourpre-transitioninterviewsandthisappeared

toenhancethecommunicativeimpactofourtalk.Sheconstructedour

interactionfromthefirstinterviewasasocialencounterandinSS1andSS2

usedtranslingualpracticesascommunicativeandrhetoricalstrategies

(Canagarajah,2013)inordertoinform,persuade,entertainand‘bond’withme.

Assuchsheenactedamediatoridentityinheruseoflanguage,inthe

performanceofhersocialidentityandinhersocializingstrategieswhichdrew

meinandhelpedtoalignourpositions.ThusNour’sbigidentityasmediator

betweenherArabicandEnglishworldsisindexedinherroleastellerinour

interaction(Georgakopoulou,2006).

Sandraalsoseemedtoviewourinterviewinteractionasasocialeventandasa

forumforrevealingtheselfinherEL2.Shewasalsotheonlyoneofthefourto

incorporate‘autobiographicalmemory’inhernarrativewhichsuggeststhatthe

reflective‘bigstory’genreinoralnarrativesmaybeculture-specific(Bell,

2011).AsourinterviewsandconversationsfromSS3onwardsalltookplace

outsidetheuniversitycontextatSandra’srequest,ourinteractionwasaptto

strayfromthetopicofformallanguagelearningtotherealmofherout-of-

learningcontext.Thusthe‘engagementsite’(Georgakopoulou2007)hada

bearingonthenatureofourinteractionandonSandra’sself-presentation.She

frequentlyrelatedherEL2learningtoherfamilysituationandevenpositioned

meinSS3ashavinganimportantroleinherlanguagelearningasboth

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encouragingherandwitnessingherprogress.AttimesSandralaidclaimtothe

interviewagenda,even,inmyestimation,bypushingthelimitsoftheresearch

interviewonreligiousandpoliticalmatters.

Alex’sexpectationsandparticipationintheinterviewprocessseemedrather

different.IninsistingonalwaystalkingtomeinaquietPPclassroom,in

restrictinghertalktoacloseresponsetomyquestionsintheearlyinterviews

andinusingEnglishexclusively,Alexappearedtoconstructourinterviewsasa

seriousopportunityforEL2conversationalpractice.AsAlexpositionedherself

asmyculturalinformantandpositionedmeasoutsideraudience,she

developedanEL2voiceascriticalofinstitutionalpracticesandofherfamily

culture.Hernarrativesbecamelong,dramaticmonologueswhilemyrolewas,

tosomeextent,reducedtothatofbackchannellerandsounding-board.

InthiscontextNevineagainstandsoutfromtheotherthreeinthatshedidnot

flourishinthemoreformalinterviewsituation.Duetothedearthofstorytelling

inherresponseNevine’scasestudyisshorterthantherest,inspiteofmybroad

definitionofnarrativeas“arangeofverbalutterancesandinteractions”

(Watson,2012:461).Shetendednottogivedetailsandnottoargue,discuss,

narrateorjokewhichsurprisedmeasIexpectedhertoreachouttomeasan

EL1speaker.Hercursoryanswersindicatedherlackofengagementasifshe

foundmyquestioningofherlanguagelearningratherintimidating.Frommy

sideItendedtousearatherrigidinterviewingstylewiththeresultthatour

rolesasinterviewerandintervieweefailedtodevelop.Theawkwardnessofour

interviewinteractioncomesacross,particularlyinSS3(seeAppendixH4).

However,inthemoreinformalgroupinterview,Nevinediddevelopanarrative

andanargumentwhendebatingwithSandraandNourinArabic.UnlikeNour

andSandra,NevinetendedtoseparateheruseofEnglishandArabic,depending

onthefirstlanguageofherinterlocutor.ItseemedthatNevinelookedtomefor

nurturing,‘expert’adviceandfriendshipthroughEnglishandattimesseemed

torejectaroleasresearchinterviewee.

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Inspiteofthe‘constraints’ofmyinterviewquestionswhichpositionedthemas

intervieweeswiththecapacitytotalkabouttheirexperiencesoflearningand

usingEnglish(Miller,2011),myfourparticipantscouldbeseentocooperate

withmyagendaortoresist,extendorevenreplaceitduringthecourseofthe

interviews.Interviewsitewasalsoseentohaveanimpactintermsofhowthey

constructedtheirintervieweeroles.Thequalityandquantityofresponses

seemedtodependlessonlanguageproficiencyandmoreonexpectationsand

framingofourinterviewsasparticularsocialinteractionsandalsoonthetype

ofpersonparticipantssoughttopresenttome(Pavlenko,2007).Alex,Nourand

SandraalldevelopedanarrativeresponseintheirEL2asanappropriategenre

foridentitydisplayanddramatizationandinvolvementstrategieswereseenas

partoftheirstorytellingstyle(Tannen,2007;DeFinaandGeorgakopoulou,

2012);onlyNevineheldback,indicatingthatshedidnotviewtheformal

interviewsituationasappropriatefornarrativeperformanceandEnglish

conversation,inspiteofmyattemptstogethertoexpandonherresponses.

9.4Performinganidentity

Inowmoveontodiscusshowparticipantsperformedtheiridentitiesinthe

interactionalcontext.Ihaveusedtheconceptsofvoiceandspeakingpositionto

understandtheperformanceofidentityininterviewsandconversations(see

3.2.3).Theconceptofvoicecancapturehowspeakersenactagencyintheir

‘identitywork’(Ribeiro,2006)particularlythroughtheiremotionaland

intentionalorientations.Vitanova’s(2013[2005])immigrant-participants

claimedtheirsecondlanguagevoicesbyevaluatingtheworldaroundthem.

Vitanova(2013[2005])usestheBakhtinianterm‘emotional-volitionaltone’to

denotethe“complexofone’sfeelings,desires,andmoralevaluations”(p.158)

whichmakesspeakerresponsesunique.Similarly,Thesen(1997)foundthat

throughtheirvoicesininterviews,studentsagentivelypositionedthemselves

within(oroutside)institutionalandculturaldiscoursesofpowerand

orchestratedtheirownnew,complexandimpassioneddiscourses.

LikeVitanova’sEasternEuropeanparticipantswhentheyfirstarriveintheUS,

AlexandNournarratedtheircriticalexperienceoflossofvoice.Alexpresented

285

ashockeddemoralizedselfinthenew,English-mediumuniversityclassroom

andNourconstructedherselfasauniversitystudentsilencedbyherteacherin

herfinalnarratives,thusdramatizingherpositionas‘victim’losingagainstthe

system.Theseemotionaldisplayscanbeseenasstrategiesofresistance

towardsinstitutionalstructures.Furthermore,Alex,NourandSandraused

humoursuchastheexaggeratedimitationofothers’voicesand‘paralinguistic

exaggeration’(Tannen,2007[1987])inordertoparodycharactersintheir

narrativesandtobringouttheirownevaluativeandmoralstances.Theironyof

Alex’svoiceinhercommentsonpatriarchalconfinementandNour’sridiculing

ofteachers’voicesthroughsoundeffectsareexamplesofhumorous

performanceswhichVitanova(2013[2005]),followingBakhtin(1984),brings

outascharacteristicofsecondlanguagevoicesofresistance.

Throughtheirmultivocalityparticipantsplayedmultiplerolesincludingthatof

interlocutortosituatethemselvesinthe‘hereandnow’oftheinterview(Koven,

2012).Alex,forexample,playedaroleasprotagonistinthedramaandas

appraiserofheractionsinthetellingofthe‘GoodIslamicPresentation’

narrative(pp142-144).Iwouldalsodrawattentiontothestrategicaspectsof

voiceinnarrativeidentityconstructionininteraction.Inordertoconvinceme

thatthePhysicalEducation(PE)teacherwas‘bad’withstudents,Nourartfully

structuredher‘BadPE’narrative(pp217-219))inthreeparts:inthefirsttwo

partsNourwasobserverand‘animator’(Goffman,1981)ofvoicesbutnotthe

‘author’.Inthefinalscene,theteacher’scold,cursoryrefusalinresponseto

Nour’sultra-politespeechpleadingwithhertoallowfailingstudentstorepeat

themid-termPEexam,droveNour’spointhometomeasheraudience.Then,as

ischaracteristicofNour’snarratives,shechanged‘footing’(Goffman,1981)and

inhumorousalignmentwithme,jokedatherselfforchoosingthePEcourse

whenmoststudentshadwarnedheragainstthatparticularteacher.Nour

communicatedapoignancythroughtheindividual,tragi-comictoneofhervoice

whichdrewmeintoherstoryworldandtoherdefensivepositionasstudent

andlanguagelearner.

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Participantstookuppositionsbothintheirstoryworldsandintheinterview

context.Baynham(2006)favoursthenotionof‘speakingposition’overvoice

becauseitcaptureshowidentityisconstructedindiscoursebyspeakerstaking

upcertainsocialrolesandhowtheyarepositionedbysocialcategoriesbeyond

thelocalcontextoftheinterview.Alex,forexample,builtontheoppositional

identitywhichshebegantoconstructinearlierinterviewsandinthe‘BadPP’

narrative(pp151-153),enactedherownethnic,oppositionalidentityfromher

speakingpositionasdisadvantagedstudentduetorestrictionsonthegranting

ofstudentscholarshipstonon-Saudis.Usingmultiple,conflictingand

emotionallychargedvoicesinherdiatribeagainsttheinstitutiontosupporther

argument,sheshowedhowthenarrativeresourceofconstructeddialogue“isa

centrallinguistictoolforconstructingspeakingpositions”(Baynham,2006:

385).Thus,throughherspeakingpositionasenlightenedopposerofthePP,she

wasabletogivevoice,intheinterviews,toherethnicstruggleforacquiring

symboliccapitalinthewiderSaudicontextofinequitablesocialstructures.

UnlikeAlex,Sandra’ssecondlanguagevoicewasrarelyheardinacollective,

academicstoryworld.Herlearnervoicetendedtobeprivateand,attimes,self-

motivatingandevenself-criticalinlinewithherconstructionofapsychological

self.Herindividualisedself-presentationmightseemcomparabletoElyas’

(2011,2014)findingsinhisstudyofnarrativeEFLidentityamongmaleSaudi

studentswho,heclaims,identifiedwithaWesternindividualmasternarrative

andviewedtheirlanguagelearningasanindividualratherthanacollective

responsibility.Hiswrittenstudentnarratives,heclaims,showedlittle

conceptionofcollectiveAraborIslamicculture.Incontrast,inthenarrative

contextofourinteraction,Sandraperformedboththe‘inaudible’Saudifemale

voiceofIslamicconservativediscourseandthestrident,defiantoneresisting

mastergenderdiscoursesandrepresentingthevoicesofambitiousyoungSaudi

women.Herspeakingpositionalsobecamemorepolitical(seeS-‘Menand

womeninSaudi’narrative–pp186-189).

TheprivatevoiceofSandra’sfrequentlyconflictedpsychologicalselfandher

criticalpublicvoicebothlinktosocialcategoriesofmiddle-class,Saudifemale

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asSandrapositionedherselfasaconfidentsecondlanguagespeakerand

informantonthegendered,political,linguisticandreligiousdiscoursesofher

society.However,shedisplayedauniquecombinationofconventionaland

rebelliousvoicetypes(IvanicandCamps,2001)andfrequentlychoseto

constructdifferent,oftencontradictoryaspectsofself,thuscreatinga

distinctivesecondlanguagevoiceintheinterviews.

Nevine’sspeakingpositionininteraction,ontheotherhand,seemedtoemerge

lessfromtheself-presentationinherwordsbutmorethroughherself-

positioning(andpositioningbyothers)asdistinctfromtheotherparticipants

andasdistancedfromherfamily,her‘inheritance’language,herlearning

community,Saudisocietyandeventheresearchinterviews.Inthissenseshe

definedherselfandwasdefinedthroughwhatshewasnot(Baynham,2006)e.g.

shewasnotaSaudischoolgraduate,hadminimalArabicandIslamiceducation

andpresentedadifferentimaginedself.NevinewaspositionedbySandraand

Nourandpositionedherselfinthe‘TeasingNevine’narrative(pp262-265)as

oneoftheinternationalschoolgraduateswhohave‘lost’theirArabic,whichcan

beseenaspartofamasterideologicaldebateinSaudisocietyresultingfroma

subtractiveviewofbilingualism(vandenHoven,2014),asdiscussedin2.3.1.

Sincethe‘TeasingNevine’narrativeisinformedbydiscoursesofArabiclossit

canalsobeseenasanexampleofidentityconstitutedperformatively.Through

speechactsofaffiliationordisaffiliationwithconventionallyacceptablelevels

ofArabicinspoken,writtenandclassicalformswhichlinktoethnic,educational

andsocialstatus,theparticipantstookuppositionsfromwhichtheir

subjectivitiescameintobeing.Competingdiscoursesofmaintainingorlosing

Arabicwereprovocativelyandhumorouslyworkedintheconversation,

particularlythroughSandra’srepeatedaccusatoryjibesaimedatNevine’sweak

Arabicsothatthelatter’sidentityasanArabicdeserter/quasiAmericanwas

invoked.

Tosumup,mystudysuggeststhattheconceptofsecond-languagevoiceisan

importantone,particularlyinthedelineationofmyparticipants’‘moving’

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identityassecondlanguagelearners/studentsintheirstoryworldsandintheir

intervieweeroles.However,anunderstandingofparticipant‘speakingposition’

(Baynham,2006)isalsoimportantinordertoviewparticipantidentityin

relationtotheirsocialworlds,astheypositionedthemselvesassupportersor

resistersofdominantdiscoursesininteraction.Allfourparticipantsbuilt,in

outspokenorsubtlerways,secondlanguagespeakingpositionsandvoicesof

resistancetoothers(includingme),totheinstitutionortotheirsocialand

culturalcontexts,reflectingtensionandconflictsbetweenself-positioningsand

theirpositioningbywidersocialdiscourses.

Theyalsobuiltonearliervoicesandreinforcedorcounteractedearlierspeaking

positions.AsnotedbyBarkhuizen(2010)andRugen(2013),whoconducteda

narrativepositioninganalysisofstudentteachers’smallstories(see3.2.2.2),

consideringsmallstoriesinrelationtopreviousstoriesandinthecontextofthe

long-termbignarrativehelpstomakesenseofparticipantdiscourse.Similarly,

Baynham(2006)arguesthatinterpretationofparticipantdiscoursenotonly

takesplaceintheimmediatecontextbutintheaccumulationofmeaningacross

contexts.Forexample,thecollective,ironicstudentvoiceofNour’s‘BadPE’

narrative(pp217-219)giveswaytothelonelyperformanceofherpredicament

inthe‘BadCS’narrative(pp220-223)soherfailednegotiationswiththeteacher

becameamoretragicstoryoflossofvoice.Herdiscourseofself-justification,

humiliationthenpowerlessacceptanceoftheCSteacher’sunfairpositioningof

heraslazy,playedacrucialroleintheemergenceofhersubjectpositionasa

marginalizeduniversitystudentstrugglingtoclaimlegitimacyinherlearning

community.

9.5Constructionsofpast,presentandfutureEL2identities

Asexpected,participantsconstructedmultiple,shiftingidentitiesintheir

accountsoflanguagelearningandstudyingatanEnglish-mediuminstitution.

Thesemi-structuredinterviewsmarkedstagesalongeachparticipant’s

‘learningcareer’(BloomerandHodkinson,2000).Participantsreconstructed

theirpastandpresentlearningexperiencesandidentitiesfromnewvantage

pointsalongthewayandtheirfutureselvesthroughtheconstructionand

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reconstructionofimaginedselvesasmembersofimaginedcommunities

(Anderson,1991;KannoandNorton,2003).Whilereferringtoidentity

positionsandidentitychangesintheiraccounts,participantsalsoenacted

various‘displays’ofidentityatdifferentstagesoftheirlearningcareersin

whichnewsubjectpositionsemergedandoldoneswerereconstituted.Iwill

examineparticipants’self-presentationsacrosstheirlearningcareersinorder

tobringoutboththecontinuityandfluidityinidentityconstructions.

Overall,NourandAlexconstructedthemselvesasagentivelearnersandstudents,

witha‘person-to-world’orientation(Bamberg,2011),whereasSandraandNevine

positionedthemselvesasmorepassivelearnersandthusprojecteda‘world-to-

person’orientation.However,theplayingoutofthe‘agencydilemma’(Bamberg,

2011)wasseentobeunstable.Nevine,forexample,presentedbothherimpending

movetotheStatesinSS5andherrevisedplantodelayhermoveuntilafter

graduationinSS6asherownstrategic,independentdecision-making.Sandra

frequentlypresentedherselfasaquiet,passivestudentbutinsuperimposingher

EL2agendaintheroleof‘self-as-Muslim’(see‘Muslim’narrative–pp177-179),

claimedaforcefulimaginedreligiousidentityoverridingmyinquiriesabouther

academicandprofessionalambitions.Furthermore,theprofessedfatalisminAlex’s

andNour’saccountsoffutureselvesseemedtoreducethesenseofagencyintheir

accounts.Theseexamplespointtotheinconsistencyinpresentationasvictimor

agentinparticipants’accountsandtheindeterminacyoftheiridentitypositionsin

thisregard.

Asastageintheirlanguagelearningcareers,Alex,NourandSandrapresentedtheir

currentPPlearningasapersonal,educationalandsocialinvestment,incontrast

withtheirpastlanguagelearningatschool,whereasNevine’slong-termgoals

affectedherorientationtowardsthePPasalimitedsourceofculturalorlinguistic

capital.Myfourparticipantspresentedthemselvestomemostlyascommittedpast

Englishlearners,whichinthreecases(Alex,SandraandNour)causedthemto

standoutfromtheirschoolpeersbuttheirEnglishlearning‘baggage’was

constructedasastumblingblocktofurtherlearning.Withsomeexceptions,these

threeconstructedtheirschoolEnglishteachersasuncaring,disaffectedandeven

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cynical.AsPPstudentshowever,AlexandNourpresentedthemselvesasEL2

languagelearnerswhosoughtcollectiveidentitiesasengagedmembersoftheir

learningcommunities,whereasNevinepositionedherselfasdifferentfromherEL2

groupespeciallyinthegroupinterview.Sandraconstructedherselfasanindividual

baskinginherrichPP2learningexperience.Inaddition,seedsoflateridentity

positionsweresowninearlyinterviewaccountsofPPlearning:forexample,Alex’s

frequentlyexpresseddesiretoworkwithhigher-levelstudentsanticipatesthe

processofherlatersocialandacademicintegrationatuniversity.This‘foretelling’

enhancesthecoherenceofparticipantaccountsacrossinterviews.

Inmovingmeawayfromtheiracademiccontextstotalkaboutthemselvesas

membersoftheirfamiliesandsocieties,SandraandNourconstructedtheir

languagelearningaspartofawideculturaldiscourse.AlexandNevine,onthe

otherhand,chosetoconstructthemselvesasserious,high-aimingstudentswith

consistentlong-termpersonalgoals.AsDuff(2010)contendsinherstudyof

socialisationintonewL2-mediatedcommunities,learners’membershipof

primarycommunities,suchasfamilyandfriends,ortheirengagementswith

individualandsocialfuturegoals,affecttheirparticipationandengagementin

newlearningcommunities.Alex’scommitmenttoheracademiccommunityis

reflectedbothinherbigstudent-relatedidentitiesandinthemajorityofher

smallstorysettings.Nourconstructedherselfasanaccruerofsocialand

symboliccapitalthroughherinvestmentinlanguagelearninganduniversity

studywhereasSandraconstructedherselfasanindividualwhoenjoyed

communicatinginEnglish,wasacounsellor/advisertoherfellowstudents,

familyandfriends,butwasnotconsistentlycommittedtoheracademiclearning

community.

Inthesmallstoriesemergedsubjectpositionswhichproblematizedthe

coherenceofthebiggernarrative.WehaveseenhowSandrapositionedherself

asSaudi/Muslimfemale-as-agentintwosmallstorieswhichclashedwithher

continualself-presentationasaquiet,passivestudentandperson.InNevine’s

firstsmallstory(pp244-247),andinmyobservationofherworkingonthefirst

activity,wesawheremergeasengagingandsocializingwithhergroupinher

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positionasArabic-Englishinterpreterandexplainerwhichconflictedwithher

continualself-presentationassociallyandlinguisticallyalienated.Alex

presentedherselfconsistentlyasanagentivelanguagelearnerandstudentbut

inher‘Badincidentinthebookstore’narrative(pp144-146)sheartfully

absolvedherselfofagencyandlostherselfinthe‘collectivelyguilty’actandin

her‘BadPE’narrative(pp135-137),shecastNourasheralter-egodirectly

confrontingtheteachertoredresstheirstudentgrievances.

Nourisagent/negotiator/mediatorthroughouthernarrativesuntilherfinal

‘demise’inthe‘BadCS’narrative(pp220-223).However,inourpost-transition

‘backstage’conversationsshepresentedaconflicted,incapacitatedselfasher

‘external’identitiesthreatenedhersurvivalasstudent.Thusparticipantself-

presentationsininterviewscanbeseenasshowstopersuadeaudience(s)in

socialinteractions(Goffman,1959)andthroughthenegotiationoftheseself-

presentations,participantsbuildasenseofacoherentself(DeFinaand

Georgakopoulou,2012).However,thiscoherentselfisattimeschallengedby

subjectpositionswhichemergeinnarrativeperformancesandinbackstage

conversations.Participantsassocialactorsinbackstagesettingscanexpress

otheraspectsofself,perhapsnotappropriateformorepublicperformances

(Goffman,1959).Recordedinterviewscanbeseenas‘frontstage’interactionsas

theiraudiencescanbeextensive:bothSandraandAlexexpressedadesirein

ourinformalconversationstobe‘known’byanoutsideaudiencethroughthe

publicationofourinterviewsinmythesis.

9.6TransitionalIdentities

9.6.1Transitiontouniversity

Learningtransitionstohigher-levelinstitutionsinalearningcareer“cannotbe

understoodwithoutconsiderationofthewaythelearnerconstructstheir

identityandhowthischangesovertime”(Scottetal,2013:8).Thereare

commonalitiesinparticipants’accounts,suchastheinitiallinguisticand

academic‘shock’oftheuniversityclassroomforAlexandNourandthe

pressuresofsocialandacademicintegrationforallfourparticipants.Onthe

otherhandtherearealsovariationsinidentityshiftsandinnewsubject

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positionstakenupastheyenterandparticipateinanewcommunitywithits

ownrulesandpractices(Wenger,1998).

Whiletransitiontouniversitywasconstructedasanemotional,socialand

academicupheavalbyallfourparticipants,theytolddifferentstoriesof

transitionandperformedtheirtellingswithvaryingdegreesofdramatic

intensity.Theeducationaltransitionliterature,whichinvestigatesmostlyhome

studentperspectivesoftransitiontouniversityinEnglish-speakingcountries

(e.g.Peel,2000;Beard,CleggandSmith,2007;YorkeandLongden,2008),tends

toemphasisethesocialchallenges,suchasformingpeernetworksandquality

relationshipswithteachers.Beardetal(2007)alsobringouttheenormous

emotionalupheavaloftransitionasexpressedinparticipants’written

responses.ThesestudentaccountsontransitiontouniversityinEL1settings

emphasisesimilarchallengestothosebroughtoutbymyparticipants,suchas

theimpersonaluniversitysettingandpressurestoworkindependently.Alex

andNour,however,dramatizedthelinguisticchallengeswithasimilarintensity

tothoseinMalcolm’s(2013)studyofArabmedicalstudentsatanEnglish-

mediumuniversityinBahrain.

TransitiontoSharifaUniversitywasnotpresentedbyparticipantsasthe

cultural‘bordercrossing’whichHatherley-Greene(2012)constructsto

describethetransitionofEmiratistudentstotheirEnglish-mediumuniversity.

SharifaUniversityislessofa‘Western’environment:mostfacultymembersare

Arabsandmostnon-Arab,expatriatefacultyareMuslim.Alex’saccountsrefer

totranslingualpracticesintheclassroomandteachers’acceptanceoflimited

useofArabiconassessments,thusmodifyingtheEnglish-mediumlearning

context.However,participantsdidnotpresentSharifaUniversityasproviding

theeasyfamiliarityandnurturewhichtheyassociatedwiththePP.Holden

(2015)suggeststhatastrongsenseof‘culturalbelonging’isanimportantfactor

contributingtoacademicintegration(see3.4.3.)butmyparticipantstendednot

toconstructthemselvesasvaluedmembersoftheSharifaUniversity

communityinspiteofthecommonculturalbackgroundoffacultyandstudents.

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BothAlexandNevineforegroundedtheproblemsofsocialintegrationintheir

initialaccountsoftransition.Nevinerepeatedlyreferredtoherlackoffriends.

Alexperformedadramatic,emotionallossofidentityinherSS5.Similarlyto

Malcolm’s(2013)students,whoexpressedfeelingsofintimidationatattending

lectureswithinternationalschoolgraduates,sheconstructedacollective,

embarrassedsilenceamongherex-PPpeergroupintheuniversityclassroomof

proficientEL2studentsandadestabilizationofselfasstudentandlanguage

learner.Similarly,intheirstudyofbeginningmaster’sstudentsintransitionin

theUK,Scottetal(2013:57)foundthatmanystudents“described‘peaks’and

‘troughs’intheirfeelingsofconfidence”andusedphrasessuchas“anemotional

rollercoaster”and“acrisisofconfidence”toexpressthese.AsanEL2learner

Alexperformedheremotions(Zembylas,2003)usingsimplelanguagebut

gainedhereffectsthroughabuild-upofnegativeswhichreducedheractions

andherveryselfto‘nothing’(seeA-SS5-AppendixH1).Herfrequentuseof

intensifiersandironiclaughterbothdisplayedhercurrentevaluationofthe

narratedeventandconnectedhertotheinteractionalhere-and-now(Koven,

2012).

Alex’sconsequentfailureinthePEmid-termexamledtoafurthertroughinher

learningcareerwhich,withherexcellentschoolandPPcredentials,was

performedasablowtoherstudentidentity.LikeMalcolm’s(2013)first-year

medicalstudents,Alexnowhadtosettleforadiminishedstatusasanaverage

achiever.However,thecriticalnatureofAlex’sexamfailureandherpositioning

ofthe‘bad’PEteacherarecalledintoquestionwhen,shortlyafter,she

enthusiasticallydescribedinterestinggroupworkinlaterPEclasseswiththe

sameteacher.Thissuddenreversaldrewmyattentiontothetransienceandthe

fragilityofinstantaneousnarrativepositioningsinthesmallstories.

Alex’sperformanceofincapacitationaftertransitionwasthemostdramaticand

emotionalofthefourparticipants.WhileAlexandNourconstructedtheir

transitionsasacollectivestrivingtojoinanewlearningcommunity,Sandra

constructedhertransitionasthatofanindividuallearner;atransitioninwhichshe

mustlearntodealwithincreasedresponsibilities,expectationsandcommitment;

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inotherwords,hertransitionwasconstructedasamaturationprocesswithinthe

universitycontext.UnlikeAlexandNour,Sandradidnotcomeforwardwithany

strategiesformeetingsocialandacademicdemandsand,asNevine,didnotlookto

herpeersforsupportorcollaborativelearning.Indeed,Sandra’s‘Apathetic

disposition’narrative(pp196-197)canbeseenasbothawithdrawalintoselfto

escapethesocialchallengesoftransitionandasalong-termpsychological

disposition.

BothAlexandNevineperformedanescapenarrativeinSS5asoutlettotheir

transitionidentitytroublewhichtheyalsolinkedtotheirimaginedidentities:

Alexconsideredamorecreditablestudentstatusinthelesssociallyrestricted

environmentofJordanandNevinelongedforamorenurturingsocialmilieuas

astudentinAmerica.InbothnarrativesAlexandNevinepositionedtheir

outsiderselvesinimaginedcommunitieswhichpromisedabetterlife.Neither

provideda‘real’solutionhoweverandbothfinallyaccommodatedtotheirlocal

learningcontext.Sandra,fromherpart,performedsymbolicescapenarratives,

firstintoheridentitypositionasMuslimandthenintoherselfasanti-social

individual.Nouralsoretreatedintoherstableidentitiesasmother,asfamily

breadwinnerandstatusseekerinourinformalconversationsoonafter

transition.Shealsopresented,nowwithheightenedurgency,herintentionsto

travelandstudyabroad.Itwassocial,cultural,academicoreconomicstructures

whichwerepresentedasimpedingparticipantmovementsoutofthecountry:

Sandrahadnomaleguardiantoaccompanyherabroad,Nourcouldnotafford

totravel,AlexfearedfamilycommitmentsinJordanandNevinefoundittoo

difficulttogainaplaceatarenownedAmericanuniversity.

Aspersistent‘activist’andnegotiatorinherencounterwithsocialand

institutionalstructures,however,Nourtookupanagentivesubjectpositionin

herfast-pacedaccountshowingherdeterminationtoclingtoheruniversity

studentstatus.Shedemonstratedtheimportanceofteacher-studentnegotiation

ofgradesandhowthemanagementofsocialrelationsandmediationwasavital

partofherperformanceasa‘novice’universitystudent.Malcolm(2013)also

foundthatduetotheirpreviousexperienceatschool,manyArabstudentsstill

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consideredtheawardingofmarksasopentoteacher-studentnegotiationat

university.Scottetal(2013)emphasisethatlearningtransitionsrequirea

negotiationwithuniversitytutorsandotherstaff,especiallysincelearners

bringwiththemexperiencesfrompastlearningcontexts.Teacher-student

negotiation,whichledtosuccessfuloutcomesinpreviouslearningcontexts,

neededtobereconstitutedatuniversityandthesechangesofstrategy

necessitatedashiftinlearneridentity.AsMorita(2004)foundinhisstudyof

learners’socializationintonewacademicclassrooms,negotiatingidentitiesand

roleswasamajorpartofthissocializationprocess.

9.6.2Constructingauniversitystudentidentity

Inadditiontothereconstitutionofroles,animportantpartofjoininganew

learningcommunityisnegotiatingandagreeingwithnewlearningpractices

andarrangementswhicharenotstaticbutchanging(Scottetal,2013).Inher

‘BadCS’narrative,forexample,Nourshowedherresistancetothepracticeof

teachersenforcingdeadlinepenaltiesandofcoercingstudentstoworkin

groupsontheirprojects.Shedisplayedaproblematicassimilationofuniversity

rulesandpracticeswhichissimilartowhatHughes(2010)calls‘operational

identityincongruence’withanewlearninggrouporcommunity.Nourdeclared

achangeinherselfasnolongerwantingtoworkingroupsandusedher

narrativeperformancetosupportherdeclaredstance.However,inthe

conversationfollowingthenarrative,sheproceededtoshowherdelightand

reliefinthecollaborationwithex-PPstudentsallowedinPsychology.This

contradictioninself-presentationsuggestedtomethatherstrugglesemanated

fromacontinuedneedofpeer(andteacher)supportinheruniversitystudiesin

amorenurturinglearningenvironment.

BloomerandHodkinson(2000)foundthatcriticalturningpointsinlearning

careersleadtoreappraisalsofselfinnewways(see3.4.4).Aftertheirinitial

effortstonavigatetheirtransitiontouniversity,Nour’sstudentidentitytooka

downhillturnintermsofherengagementandbelongingtoherlearning

community(Wenger,1998),whileAlexcreatedanewidentityasanovice

memberofauniversitylearninggroup.ThelonelyvictimstanceofNour’s‘Bad

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CS’narrativemarkedacriticalturningpointwhichcontrastswithAlex’scritical

turningpointinSS6:Alexperformedadaring,effectivesecondlanguagevoice

intheuniversityclassroomshowingherbeginningtosuccessfullytakeonnew

operationalandlinguisticpractices(e.g.A-‘GoodIslamicpresentation’narrative,

pp140-142).However,inthissmallstorythetenuousnessofherpositionas

novicemembercametotheforeinAlex’sperformance.

Alexpresentedherselfasthemoststrategicandactiveofthefourindealing

withlinguisticandacademicchallenges.Inordertomodelherlearningonthe

moreadvanceduniversitystudentsandtojointheircollaborativeworking

groups,shetookonnewsubjectpositionsassocialclimberandrisk-taker

withinheruniversitycommunityexemplifyinghow“studentidentitiesare

formedandreformedthroughoutthetransitionalprocess”(Scottetal,

2013:74).Alexwastheonlyonetopresentherselfasactivelyseekingtomove

outoftheex-PPsocialgroupandjoinhernewuniversitylearning/discourse

community.Nour,SandraandNevine,ontheotherhand,stillpresented

themselvesasmembersoftheirex-PPcommunity,eveninSS6,withoutthe

abilityorwillingnesstomakenewlearningrelationshipsintheiruniversity

‘communityofpractice’(Wenger,1998).

Alearningcareerperspectiveviewsacademicactivityasinherentlysocial(Scott

etal,2013)andAlexshowedthat,inmakingnewsocialrelationshipswithinher

universitycommunityandin‘daring’tolearnthroughinteractionwithmore

proficientstudents,sheconstructedherpathtolinguisticandacademic

progress.Alexidentifiedkeytransitionsinherstrategyofmodellingher

learningonthatofadvancedgroups:frommemorisingtounderstanding,from

writingnotesinArabictonotetakinginEnglishandfromtranslatingstudy

materialintoArabicto‘manipulating’herEL2forclasspresentations.These

transitionssuggestthatAlexwasnegotiatingknowledge-relatedcongruence

withnewlearninggroups(Hughes,2010)(see3.4.7)throughlearning

appropriateusesofacademicdiscoursefromherinteractionswith‘expert’

students(Duff,2010).

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Inheraccountoftheacknowledgementofthe‘expert’studentsofherprogress

inunderstanding,Aleximpliedthat,as‘novice’,shehadbeengrantedlegitimacy

byherlearninggroupandthatherformer‘stumblings’hadbecome

opportunitiesforlearningratherthancause“fordismissal,neglectorexclusion”

(Wenger,1998:101).Nour,ontheotherhand,narratedherexperienceasnon-

participationandpositionedherpeersandsometeachersasnotgrantingher

thelegitimacytobetreatedasapotentialmember(Wenger,1998).Hughes

(2010)arguesthatindividualsmustreconciletheirlearningidentitiestotheir

widersocialidentitiessuchastheirsocioeconomicstatus.Hughes’(2010)

conceptofidentityincongruencecanhelpexplainNour’sinabilitytogain

peripheralstatus,asherlowersocialclassandstateschoolbackgroundseemed

tohinderhersocial,operationalandknowledge-relatedadjustmenttonew

learninggroupsataprivateuniversity.

AsAlhawsawi(2013)foundinhisstudyofthesocioculturalcontextofSaudi

students,familieswithlowsocioeconomicstatusdidnotprovidestudentswith

theculturalcapital(Bourdieu,1991)requiredtoengagewiththelinguistic

demandsandthedifferentteachingapproachesandpracticesofanEnglish-

mediumuniversity.WhileNourdisplayedagencyinacquiringculturalcapital

throughout-of-classlearning,socialnetworkingandseekingregularsupport,in

herfinalsmallstoryandherbackstageconfidences,shepresentedavulnerable,

failingstudentself.Furthermore,narrativesoflearningshouldbeunderstood

inrelationtoexperiencesoutsidethelearningcontextwhichimpacton

learners’changingdispositions(BloomerandHodkinson,2000)andIwould

pointtoeconomicfactorsandfamilypressuresasnegativeinfluencesonNour’s

learningcareer,especiallyaftertransition.

Viewingidentityconstructionas‘balancingtheself’acrosscommunitiesof

practice,withsomemorecentralthanothers(Preece,2009),helpsexplain

Sandra’sself-presentationasastudentwhoisnotfullyinvestedinbecoming

socialisedintoheracademiccommunity(Duff,2007).Nevine,also,continuesto

presentherlackofengagementwithherpresentlearningcommunityduetoher

commitmenttoheralternativeimaginedcommunity.Furthermore,like

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Thesen’s(1997)students,whoattimesinvestedmoreintheirownsociallives

ratherthanintheiracademicidentitiesduetotheiralienationfromthe

universitycurriculum,Sandra,NevineandAlexalsoshowedresistancetothe

universitysystemofstudyinggeneralsubjectsforlife-longlearninginthe

freshmanyear,whentheyhadpreviouslyassociateduniversitylearningwith

studyfortheirmajors.

Tosumup,socialintegrationinthesecasestudiesappearstobeanimportant

featureofsuccessfultransition,facilitatingbothacademicandlinguistic

engagementinordertomeetuniversitystandardsandtoparticipateinnew

learningpractices.Hughes(2010)emphasisedthatstudentsintransitionhave

tocontinuallynegotiateandrenegotiatetheiridentitycongruencewithnew

learninggroups.However,contrarytoHughes’findings,whichprioritized

knowledge-relatedcongruence,itwassocialintegration,intermsofmaking

newrelationshipsandinteractingandworkingwithnewlearninggroups,which

appearedtoleadtotheconstructionofoperationalandknowledge-related

congruence..

Anarrativeofidentitytransformationwasseentobeanimportantaspectof

transition.Alextookonemboldenedsubjectpositionswhichrelatedtoher

previousself-presentationsofactiveandcollectiveELLUandstudentidentities

butcontrastedwithherearlierreticent,cautiousnarrativesofselfandobserved

classroombehaviour.Whilestillnotaconfident,settled-inmemberofher

learningcommunity,intheinterplaybetweenbeingpositionedbythe

structuresanddemandsoftheuniversityandher“activelyconstructed,

contestedandnegotiated”(Taylor,2007)identityasauniversityfreshman

student,shepositionedherselfaswellonthewaytoclaimingmembership.

Ontheotherhand,Sandra’scounsellor/psychologicalselfandNour’s

mediator/negotiatorselfdidnotflourishintheuniversitycontextandtherewas

insufficientindicationinourfinalinteractionsthattheyweretakingupmore

participatorysubjectpositions.Nevinedidperformanewemotionalandacademic

engagementinherLiteraturestudiesinourlastconversation,whichgavereinto

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herEnglishwriterandimaginedidentities,buttherewaslittlementionofpeer

relationshipsorengagementwithuniversitypracticesso,inthissense,heridentity

asaSharifastudentavailingherselfoftemporarybenefitstoherlearningcareer

remainedperipheral.

9.7Imaginedcommunitiesandimaginedidentities

Intheirnarrativesoffutureselfallfourparticipantsprojectedrolesand

identitiesforthemselveswhichconnectedtopresentationsoftheirpastand

currentselvesandreflectedtheirongoinghopes,desiresandaspirations.As

languagelearners/userstheyshowedvaryingengagementswiththeir

universitycommunity,buttheyalsomadeconnectionswithfutureimagined

communities(Anderson,1991;KannoandNorton,2003)indicatingthatthe

conceptoflearningcareermightbestbestretchedtofutureidentityprojections,

aswellasconstructionsofpastandpresentidentities.Alex’sconsistentsenseof

belongingtoherTranslation‘department’,forexample,figuresinallstagesof

heridentitytrajectory,bothindiscursivesituationsastoldandinherself-

positioningsininterviews.

Althoughtermssuchas‘idealself’and‘ought-toself’(MarkusandNurius,

1986)areusefuldescriptorsoffutureself-projections,Ifoundthelinkbetween

idealselfandmotivationtobecomplexandunstableintheaccountsofmy

participants.Conceptssuchas‘idealself’and‘possibleself’canbemoreusefully

appliedtoindividualsinspecificsocialandculturalcontextsandsituationsof

tellingratherthanaspsychologicalmodelsofself-motivation.Discourse

curtailmentsinparticipantaccountsoffutureselvesinthefinalinterviews,for

example,drewmyattentiontothedistanceNour,AlexandSandrawere

creatingbetweentheirimaginedandcurrentidentities.Alexemphasisedthat

shewas‘now’tellingmeonlywhatshewishedfor,implyingthatitwasunlikely

toberealised;Sandratemperedheraccountoflivingalonewithprohibitive

familyexpectations;andNourkeptrepeatinghermotifof‘Ican’tnowbut

maybelaterinshāʾAllāh’.

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Theconceptsof‘imaginedcommunity’and‘imaginedidentity’(Norton,2013)

moreeffectivelyexplainparticipants’changinginvestmentsinlanguage

learningandtheirperformancesoffutureselves.Inherfinalinterview,for

example,Alexpresentedheraspirationstobecomeamemberofanimagined

communityofArabnear-nativeEnglishspeakersandpresentedmembershipof

thiscommunityastheculminationofherlanguagelearningcareer.ThusAlex’s

imaginedcommunityhereisonewhichstraddlesbothherlanguagelearning

communityandtheoutsideworldofArabEnglishspeakers.Shefurther

developedherfutureselfasEnglishuseraspubliclyadmiredandalsoas

acknowledgedforheroutstandingtranslationwork.However,Alex’ssubject

positionasmemberofherPalestiniancommunityinherfinalsmallstory(A-

‘Idealandpossibleself’narrativepp158-160)curtailedheraccountofimagined

identity.Possibleselvescanrevealtheinventive,creativeselfbutalsoreflect

theextenttowhichtheselfissociallyconstrained(MarkusandNurius,1986).

Alexseemedtoreverttoakindof‘defaultself’,oneperhapsthatshewas

expectedtobecome(Dörnyei,2009)inlinewithherfamilyculture.Her

PalestinianhusbandwouldexpecthertoworkfromhomesoAlexwould

integrateherprofessionaltranslatoridentitywiththatofwifeandmother.Thus

Alex’simaginedidentityenactedacompromise,inherfinalnarrative,between

herimaginedcommunityofthe‘cream’ofproficientEnglishspeakersand

translatorsatuniversityandherethnicandculturalcommunity.

Similarly,NourrelatedEnglishcloselytoherfutureimaginedselfinhercareer

narrativeasinterpreterandinherexpresseddesireforherdaughtertoattend

aninternationalschool.InspiteofNour’saccountofherstrugglingidentityasa

universitystudent,sheresistsapositionasfailingstudentthroughherdesireto

bepartofanimaginedcommunity(DarvinandNorton,2015).Nourimagined

herselfasaneducated,professionalmemberofhersocietyandamodern,

middle-classSaudiwoman.BothSandraandNourconstructedthemselvesas

membersofachangingSaudisociety;inthatsensetheymadeclaimstoa

nationalidentityasanimaginedcommunity(Anderson,1991),inwhichas

individualswe“imagineourselvesbondedwithourfellowcitizensacrosstime

andspace”(Norton,2013:8).Nour’simaginedidentitywasconstructedasan

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effectivelinguisticresourceforherfamilyandbyextensionforherpeopleby

mediatingforthemthroughEnglish.Herhopesanddesiresforfurtherstudyin

Englishandhighersocialstatusarepresentedascompromisednotbyfamily

constraintsasmuchasbyeconomichardship.Hercontinualreminderstomeof

thisinher‘Daughter’sfuture’narrative(pp236-238)pointtotheunreachability

ofherimaginedself.

LikeNour’s,Sandra’simaginedselfwasrooted‘here’butnotconsistentlyasa

memberofanimaginedcommunity:attimessheidentifiedwithherMuslimor

Arabiccommunity,buteachtimeitwasanindividualizedversionthatshe

performed.Insomefuturenarrativessheimaginedherselflivingfarawayfrom

herfamilyinherownprivatehome,whichsheconstructedasamicrocosmof

herfutureworld.Inherprofesseddesireforfemaleprivacyshepositioned

herselfthroughthe“constructionofanidealisedindividuatedhome”(Taylor,

2010:133).Shealsoimaginedopeningherownofficeasasuccessful,

independenttranslator.However,familyconstraints,particularlymarriage

expectations,reducedthewished-forselftoamorepossible,or‘default’one.

Sandrahadpresentedherselfasopposedtoherfamily’swishes,but,likeAlex,

finallycompromisedwithmarriedlifeandpresentedherimaginedselfas

workingfromhomeandhelpingherhusbandwithhistranslationqueries.

Incontrast,Nevine’simaginedselfwouldlive,studyandworkinanidealised

socialenvironmentwhichwasherimaginedcommunityintheStateswhereshe

expectedtobevaluedandappreciatedasastudentandasaprofessional.This

imaginedidentityzoomsinandoutasNevinepresentedherselfonthebrinkof

realizingherimaginedselfintheStatesinSS5buttheninSS6,whenherplans

werethwarted,sheconstructeddistancebetweenheractualandimagined

selves.Nevine’swrittenaccountofherfutureselfinfiveyears’timeisover-

idealisedtosuchadegreethatitslinktoherpresentselfseemstohangona

veryfinethread.Initshenarratedherfutureaccomplishmentsasiftherewere

noquestionoffailure.EvenasthemanifestationofNevine’sidentityasa

creativewriter,itistooelaborateandstylized.Then,inourfinalconversation,

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Nevinepresentedherstudyandlifecontexttomeasquasi-American,asif

modellingherimmediatecontextonherimaginedone.

Byexploringthesubjectpositionswhichthefourprojectontotheirfuture

selves,wecanseethat“imaginationisanintegralpartofongoingidentitywork”

(Block,2007:20),inwhichtheselfisexpandedtocreatenewself-images

(Wenger,1998).Nouraspiredtobecomeamemberoftheeducatedmiddle

classesthroughherEnglisheducationandSandradefinedandre-definedher

futureidentityaspious,charitableMuslim,ascommittedstudent,assuccessful

careerwomanetc.sothattherewaslesssenseofaconsistent,dynamic

imaginedidentity.Alex’simaginedselfreachedtheculminationofher

TranslationstudentidentitiesandofherEnglishuserself.Nour,Sandraand

Alexprojectedtheirfuturehigherstatusselvesaslivinginperhapsamore

globalisedandmultilingualSaudiArabiabutperformedimaginedidentities

whichwere,intheend,rootedandcompromisedbytheirsocial,economicand

culturalcontext.OnlyNevineprojectedheridealselfasliving,studyingand

workingoutsidethelocalcontextandconstructedanimminentimagined

identity.Thuswecanseethataffiliationswithimaginedcommunities,asNorton

(2013)emphasises,haveahugeimpactonparticipants’investmentsinlearning

andontheirlearningtrajectoriesand,Iwouldadd,ontheperformanceoftheir

futureselves.

9.8Socialidentity

9.8.1Membershipofsocialgroups

Intheiraccountsmyparticipantstookupsubjectpositionsasmembersofsocial

groupsandcommunitiesthroughthecontentoftheirtalkandthroughtheir

linguistic,narrativeandinteractionaldiscoursechoices(DeFina,2006).

Alex,forexample,performedacollectivelanguagelearnerandstudentidentityas

stateschoolgraduate,asPPlearnerandaftertransitiontouniversity,asamember

ofadisgruntledex-PPgroup.Then,aswesaw,shepresentedherselfdiscursively

workingwithmoreadvanceduniversitystudentsthusclaimingperipheral

membership(LaveandWenger,1991)ofnewuniversitygroups.EvenSandra,in

herprojectionofselfasa‘curious’,individualpsychologicalcase,stillclaimed

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membershipofacommunityofyoungSaudiwomenwithagendasofpersonaland

professionalimprovement.Nouralsotappedintolocalmiddle-classdiscoursesof

femaleadvancementinhernarrativesbutNevine,inherprojectionofanalienated

identity,positionedherselfasoutsidethesewiderdiscourses.

Allfourdemarcatedtheirsocialgroupingsininteraction,particularlyintheir

positioningofmeasaculturaloutsider.ThusperformancesofELLUandstudent

identity,particularlyinthesmallstories,canbeseenascloselylinkedtogender,

religious,ethnic,ethnolinguisticandsocialclasssubjectpositions.Furthermore,

thesesubjectpositionsareimplicatedinthedevelopmentofcongruentidentities

withgroupsandcommunities(Scottetal,2013).Thissuggeststhatidentity

transformationsinparticipants’accountsoftheirlearningcareersshouldbeseen

inthecontextoftheirself-positioningsasmembersofsocialgroups.However

participantswerealsoseentoresistsocialandcommunitypracticesand

ideologicalmasternarrativesinordertocreatenewdiscoursesofidentityfor

themselves.

9.8.2Religiousidentity

Inrelatingtheconstructionofidentitiestowidersocialcategories,thereisalsoa

questionofparticipant’schoiceofmembershipcategory.Aswesawin2.1,one’s

Muslimidentityisaccordedgreatsignificanceindominantdiscoursesofwhatit

meanstobeaSaudi,oranArabMuslimlivinginSaudiArabia.Consequently,one

wouldexpectparticipantstoprojectthisaspectofsocialidentityintheiraccounts.

Surprisingly,onlySandrachosetopresentherMuslimidentity(particularlyinher

SmallStories3and5)andtorelateittoherselfaslanguagelearnerandashuman

being.ItisunderstandablethatNevineusesherdeficiencyinIslamiceducationasa

markofsocialalienationandperhapsNour’sclaimtoanidentityasmediator

makesaMuslimself-projectioninappropriateinthecontextofourinteraction.

However,itisdifficulttoexplainAlex’sdismissiveorientationtoIslamicteaching

anddiscussionatuniversity.Interestingly,inher‘GoodIslamicpresentation’

narrativeAlexshowednointerestintheIslamiccontentoftheclassandfocused

solelyonhersubjectpositionasnoviceuniversitystudent.

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Sandra,ontheotherhand,retreatedintoherMuslimidentityforalmostthewhole

ofSS4,thefirstinterviewaftertransition,andavoidedrespondingtomyquestions

aboutherinitialuniversityexperiences.Inherconstructionofreligiousidentity

Sandra’sperformanceinher‘Muslim’narrative(pp177-179)canbeseenas

agentiveinherorchestrationofmultipleIslamicdiscourses.Atthesametime,

similarlytoThesen’s(1997)SouthAfricanparticipant,Robertwhoinstructedher

onhisreligion,SandraconstructedherMuslimidentityinrelationtomeasawhite

non-Muslim‘other’.ShedidthisboththroughherdidacticIslamic/Arabicdiscourse

andinherself-presentationinourinteractionasenlightened,outward-looking

Muslim.HersubjectpositionasaSaudiMuslimwomanalsoemergedinher

‘Islamicclass’narrative(pp188-190)inwhichshepositionedherselfamongthose

whodisapproveofrecordingwomen’svoicesandshowedherengagementinthe

contentandmethodofIslamicteaching.Sandratookonafootingas‘principal’

(Goffman,1981)ratherthan‘animator’inherself-presentationinthissmallstory.

Itcouldalsobeargued,fromaperformativityperspective,thathersubjectivityasa

youngMuslimwomanemergedfromIslamicdiscoursesofthefemalevoiceas

‘awrah,offemaledependenceandofmaleguardianshipwhichsheinvokedinher

accounts.Itseemedtomethat,aswellasbeingpositionedbywiderideological

discourses,participantsalsomadestrategicchoicesoverwhichaspectsofsocial

identitytoprioritizeininteractionandinvokedlocalrolesaspartoftheir

negotiationwiththeirinterlocutors(DeFinaandGeorgakopoulou,2012).

9.8.3Genderidentity

Itwasintheirgenderedself-positioningsthatparticipantsdisplayedboththeir

individualvoicesofresistanceaswellastheirsilencingbyothersasfemale

languagelearners,students,familymembersandyoungArabwomenlivingin

SaudiArabia.Gendersubjectpositionsemergedinthesmallstories,although

theyalsoappearedasasubtextrunningthroughthebignarratives.Nour,for

example,didnotrefertoheridentityasayoungSaudifemaleassuch,butinher

self-positioningasheroicsurvivor,assupporterofherfamily,assinglemother

andinherexpresseddesireforcontinuedindependenceforherselfandher

daughter,carvedouta‘counter’femalerolewhichdidnotconformto

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conventional“sociallyconstructednotionsoffemininitiesandmasculinities”

(Block,2007:43).Furthermore,throughtheongoingmatrilinealdiscourseof

nurtureandaspirationtoknowthe‘other’,broughtoutinNour’s‘Earthdream’

and‘Daughter’sfuture’narratives,hersubjectivityas‘feminist’mothercame

intobeing.

AlexandSandra,ontheotherhand,appearedtoconformtoascribedIslamic

dominantdiscoursesintheirrepeatedactsofidentityasdependentfemales,

althoughthetensionsbetweentheiraccountsofpersonal,academicand

professionalgoalsandtheirpositioningbyideologicaldiscoursesofgender

emergedintheirsmallstories.TheiridentitiesasArabyoungwomenwere

performativelyconstitutedbytheirreferencestofamilyinsistencethatthey

prioritizemarriageoverstudyandcareer.Themarriageversusstudy

opposition,aspatriarchaldiscourse,cametotheforeintheiraccountsand,

whiletheycontestedthembypositioningthemselvesaseagerstudentsand

futureprofessionals,intheirfinalaccounts,bothAlexandSandraseemedto

effectacompromisewiththeirfamilyandcultureoverthemarriagequestion.

However,whilenotexpressingsubversiveattitudestowardspatriarchal

discourses,liketheArabBedouinwomeninAbu-Lughod’s(2008[1993])

anthropologicalstudy,AlexandSandrausedconflictingvoicesandhumourin

theiraccountswhichcouldbeseenascontributingto“theundoingof

patriarchy”(GubriumandHolstein,2009:88).

AsMoita-Lopes(2006)showsinhisstudyofdiscoursesofmasculinityand

femininityinafocusgroupdiscussioninaBrazilianclassroom,narratorsoften

usetheirownandtheircharacters’voicestoconveypositionswhichtheymight

notopenlyassertastheirpointofview.Inher‘Jordan’narrative(pp154-156),

Alexusedconstructedspeechtogivevoicetoheroppositionalstancetowards

genderdiscourses,whichsheperformedasinconflictwithherstudyaims.Her

father’scommandingpatriarchalvoice,orderinghisfamilytofulfilobligations

andpreventingthemfrom‘straying’fromfemalespaces,drownedoutherown

dissentingone.Inherplaintiveappellationofgender:“Ohit’shard/veryhard

formebecauseI’magirl”(64,65),Alexbothbemoanedherimaginedenforced

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roleascaregiverofhergrandparentswhilestudyinginJordanandalso

providedmewithareasonforherdecisionnottomovethere.Patriarchal

discourseswoulddemandamuchhighertollonherstudytimeasa

granddaughterthantheypresentlydidonherbrother’sasgrandson.

LikethesisterinMoita-Lopes’(2006)study,Alex’smotherwasnotgivena

voiceinthenarrativebutwastheoneentrustedwithAlex’sconfidences;Alex

neverdirectlyconfrontedherfatherinthenarratedeventbutourironicco-

reflectionssuggestedheroppositionalstancetowardsgenderdiscourses.Her

sadfinalstatementinthe‘Jordan’narrative:“It’shereinhome/It’stherein

home”canalsobeseenasaperformativespeechactinthatitnameswhatit

purportstobe,thatisthesocialexclusionofArabwomen.Thesenseof

resistancecomesthroughintheironicuseofparallelism.

Surprisingly,Alex’sself-presentationwasoneofanArabwomanwhoismore

confinedto‘female’spacesthantheSaudiparticipants:Sandra,Nourand

Nevinefrequentlypositionedthemselvesinpublicsettings.Wesawin9.4how

Sandraperformedthestrident,resistantgenderedvoiceinher‘Menandwomen

inSaudi’narrative(pp186-189),bycontrastinginhyperbolicstylethe

indifferentvoiceofapatheticmenwithvoicesofassertivegoal-drivenwomen.

Heressentialised,polarisedexpositionofSaudigenderisentertainingbutitcan

alsobeseentoreflectlocalgenderdivisions(see2.2.1).Thisdiscourseofacute

genderdifferentiationisbroughtoutinbothSandra’sandNour’saccounts:men

arecharacterisedaslazyandlackingindrive,whilewomenaremore

committedandmoremotivatedlearners.Such‘broughtalong’(Baynham,2015)

genderedidentitiescanbeseeninrelationtodiscoursesoffemaleacademicand

professionalachievementinSaudiArabia.

Sandraalsoconstructedidentitythroughopposition(Baynham2006),by

positioningherselfasoneoftheambitiouswomenvociferouslycounteracting

thevoicesofpatriarchalmalerelativesurginghertoprioritisemarriageover

herstudies.However,inthesameinterview,Sandrapositionedherselfasthe

conventional,publiclyinaudibleMuslimwomaninher‘Islamicclass’narrative

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(pp190-192).Whilethesecontrastinggenderdiscoursesmayseem

contradictory,theybringoutSandra’sagentivesecondlanguagevoicein

interactionasshemergedwithsomediscoursesandresistedothers(Thesen,

1997).

Thelinkbetweengenderidentityandlanguagelearning,whichNorton(2013)

emphasisesinherstudyofimmigrantwomen’slanguagelearningexperiences

inCanada,wasalsoshowninseveralparticipantaccounts.Sociocultural

discoursesofincreasingtertiarystudyoptionsandrisingprofessional

opportunitiesforwomeninSaudiArabia(see2.2.2)influencedparticipants’

investments,desiresandimaginedselves.Nour’sownaspirationstoworkinthe

king’scouncilorinaSaudiembassyabroadwerebroughtupinherSS3

interviewinawaveofself-confidencebuttheyalsoreflectedgrowing‘feminist’

discoursesofcreatinghigher-levelpostsforwomen(see2.2.1).Inher

‘Daughter’sfuture’narrative(pp236-238),inherfinalinterview,Nourclosely

relatedanEnglisheducationtoherdaughter’sfutureindependence,success

andhappiness.Hervisioncouldbeseenascontroversialintermsof

conservativeIslamicideologiesbutitalsoindicated,inthecontextofNour’s

narrativeofaprogressingsociety,thatshewaskeyingintodiscoursesoffemale

advancementinurbanareasofthecountry.Interestingly,Nour’sambitionsfor

herdaughter’sfuture‘emancipation’contrastwiththelackofparentalsupport

andsolidaritypresentedinallfourparticipantaccountsoftheirlearning

careersandtheirimaginedidentities.

Contrarytotheotherthree,Nevinedidnotprojectherselfasamemberofher

socioculturalcommunity.AsayoungSaudiwomanshegaveandgaveoff

characteristicsandorientationstotheworldwhichseemedhighlyunusual:she

discussedherbackground,familyandfutureopportunitiesascompletelyoutof

syncwithconventionalSaudifemaleroles.InherprofessedignoranceofIslam,

herseeminglackoffamilycommitmentandherprofessedoppositiontothe

otherparticipants’aspirationstobemultilingualandsuccessfulwomenwithin

theirownculturesandsocieties,NevinesituatedherselfoutsideSaudigender

discourses.

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9.8.4Ethnicity

Theperformanceofgenderidentitycanalsobeseenasintrinsicallylinkedto

otherfacetsofidentitysuchasethnicityandsocialclass(Block,2007).Alex

madelinksbetweenherconflictedethnicidentity,genderedandstudent

identities.Shepositionedherselfasadisadvantagedstudentduetoher

ethnicitybutplacedblameonthelearninginstitutionsinhernarrativesrather

thanonthecountry’srulesconcerningnon-SaudiArabs(see2.1).While

describingherfamilyasJordanian-Palestinian,thisidentityseemedascribed

ratherthan‘inhabited’(Blommaert,2005),inthatitwasonewhichshelinked

toherfather’spatriarchalvoicepreventingherfromdiscoveringher‘native’

landofJordan.Inher‘Jordan’narrative(pp154-156)Alexusedcharactersand

conflictingvoicestoperformthestrugglebetweenheraspirationsasstudent

andherfamilycultureandtounpackherconflictedethnicidentityin

conversationwithmeasculturaloutsider.Alex’semotionalattachmenttoSaudi

Arabia,despiteitsmorerestrictedopportunities,cameacrossasasubtextand

hersad,gentlyironicvoiceseemedtosuccumbtothepowerfulsocialstructures

whichconfinedher.TheconstructionofAlex’sethnicidentityfluctuatedin

interaction:shepositionedherselfasaffiliatedtoanArab,Saudi,Jordanianor

Palestinianethnicityatdifferenttimes,thusthesecategorieswereneither

absolutenorfixedbutcontinuouslyrenegotiated(DeFinaandGeorgakopoulou,

2012).

9.8.5Socialclass

GenderandEL2identitiescouldbeseenaslinkedtothatofsocialclassin

performance.WehavealreadyseenhowbothSandraandNouridentifiedwith

thenewSaudiwoman.However,Sandracreatedabroaderethnicandlinguistic

spacethanNourinthatshesaidthatsheaspiredtobelikethewomenofthe

GulfwhosheclaimedspokeEnglishfluently,notforprofessionaloreconomic

gain,butforpersonalimprovement.ShedescribedEnglishasacommon

languageandpositionedherselfasalreadybelongingtoafamilyandcommunity

ofEnglish-speakers.AsAlhawsawi’s(2013)middleclassSaudiEFLstudents,

Sandrabroughttheculturalcapitalofauniversity-educatedmother,aprivate

schooleducationandhometutorstosupportherlearningatSharifaUniversity.

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Hermiddle-classidentityemergedinNour’s‘Englishforsecrets’narrative

(pp231-233)whenSandrajokedthatsheneededtolearnamore‘exotic’

languagetokeepboyfriend-relatedsecretswhereasNourpositionedherown

family,andthatofherschoolfriendinthestory,asnon-Englishspeakers.Saudi

discoursesofsocialclassandgendercanthusbeseentoinformthis‘Englishfor

secrets’narrative.Interestingly,althoughSandra’smiddle-classbackground

mightexplainherseeminglygreateracceptanceofnewlearningpracticesat

university,itdidnotappeartosupportherconstructionofanacademicstudent

identity.

9.9Conclusion

InthischapterIdiscussedparticipantconstructionsofidentitybothintheir

self-presentationsandnarrativeperformancesovertimeandinthesubject

positionswhichemergedinthesmallstoriesandeveninsomebackstage

conversations.Performancewasunderstoodintermsoftheuseofsecond

languagevoiceandthespeakingpositionstakenupbyparticipantswhich

facilitatedabalancedviewoftherolesofsocialstructureandagencyinidentity

construction.Narrativeidentitywasalsoconsideredasperformatively

constitutedinthatparticipantstookuppositionsfromwiderculturaland

ideologicaldiscoursesintheirtalk.Theinteractionalaccomplishmentofboth

thetalkandthetellingofnarrativesintheinterviewsandconversationswas

alsoseenasimportanttoanunderstandingofidentityconstruction.Thismulti-

layeredviewproducedanuancedpicturewhichis,insomeways,missingfrom

previousstudiesofuniversitystudentidentityinSaudiArabia.

Intheiraccounts,participantslocatedthemselvesindiscoursesoflanguageuse

suchasArabiclossthroughinternationalschoolingandaffiliationtoEnglishin

itsrelationtothesocialadvancementofSaudiwomen.Subjectpositionsas

ambitious,multilingual,professionalArabwomenemergedfromtheir

presentationsofimaginedcommunitiesandfutureselvesbutwerealso

compromisedbytheirself-positioningwithinpatriarchaldiscoursesofearly

marriageandfamilyobligation.SandraorchestratedIslamicdiscoursesinher

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narrativeperformanceofidentitybuttookupaspeakingpositionasaforceful

defenderofSaudifemaleambitionandprofessionalism.

Discoursesofsocialclassandethnicityalsoinformedthesmallstories:Nour

keyedintoSaudimiddle-classdiscoursesof‘professional’Englishandfemale

independencewhileAlexresistedherpositioningbyArab,ethnicand‘family

culture’discourseswhichconflictedwithhergoalsasstudentandtranslator.

Contrarytotherest,Nevinedistancedherselffromherascribedidentityasan

Arab,MuslimyoungwomanandinhabitedanidentityasArabic‘deserter’and

quasi-American.

Transitiontouniversitywaspresentedasaturbulentstageinalearningcareer

whichrequiredidentitynegotiationandtransformationinordertoengagewith

anewlearning/discoursecommunity.Thedestabilisationofidentityfacilitated

discoursesofresistanceandtheconstructionofnewnarrativesinthepost-

transitioninterviews.Transitionwasmarkedbycriticalturningpointsand

escapenarratives,whichlinkedtoparticipants’imaginedcommunities,actedas

somerespite.Socialintegrationwasshownascriticalintheengagementand

participationofnovicestudentsbutonlyAlexconstructedhertransitional

identityasonewhichsoughttoengagewithnewlearninggroupsinorderto

gainlegitimacyasauniversitystudent.Possibleexplanationsforthelackof

engagementwithlearninggroupsandpracticesinself-presentationswereput

forward.Identityrenegotiationintransitionhadtobeseeninthecontextof

participants’self-positioningsasmembersoffamiliesandcommunitiesoutside

thelearningcontext.

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CHAPTER10THE‘FINAL’CHAPTER

10.1Questioningthebignarrativeandthesmallstories

Anexaminationofthebignarrativeofeachparticipantandananalysisofselected

smallstorieshascreatedamulti-layered,contradictoryandattimesambiguous

pictureofmycasestudyparticipants’emergentsubjectivitiesandongoingidentities.

Barkhuizen(2010)foundthatbringinginthemacro-contextofthebignarrativedata

enhancedhisanalysisofapre-serviceteacher’ssmallstory.Itookmyanalysisone

stepfurtherinbringingtogethermyunderstandingsfromthebignarrativeandsmall

storiesinordertocreateacomplex,conflictingorcomplementaryaccountwhich

couldcapturethelong-termmovementsaswellasthemomentsofidentity

construction.Thisinvestigationofidentitywascharacterisedbyboththecontinuities

ofself-presentationandbythefragilityandfluidityofsubjectpositions.

ByanalysingparticipantperformanceandpositioninginnarrativesIwasableto

bringouttheemotional/volitionalaswellastheinteractive/positionalaspectsof

identityconstruction.Aperformativityapproachalsohighlightedhowdiscoursesof

gender,languageuseandreligionconstitutedthesubject,inthesensethatsubject

positionswereshapedbyideologicaldiscourseswhichwerereinventedand

contestedinthediscursivemoment(Baynham,2015).Inspiteofthecomplexityof

mydata,thetemporal,contextual,situational,close-upandinteractionalperspectives

affordarichlynuancedunderstandingofmyparticipants’identitiesaslanguage

learners,universitystudentsandyoungArabwomen,livingandlearningina

particularsocio-historiccontext.Drawingconclusionsfromsuchacomplexpicture,

withoutreducingitsrichnessandcomplexity,iscertainlyachallengingtask.

IwillnowlookagainattheresearchquestionswithwhichIsoughttoinvestigate

constructionsofparticipantidentityamongthesefouryoungArabwomen.

1. Howdoparticipantsatawomen’sEnglish-mediumSaudiuniversityconstruct

theirpast,presentandfutureidentitiesasEL2learners,speakersand

students?

Secondaryquestionswhichemergedinthecourseoftheresearchwere:

a) Howdoparticipantsconstructidentityinasecondlanguage?

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b) HowdoparticipantsachieveidentitiesasEL2learners/studentsin

interviews?

c) Whatroledoimaginedcommunities/identitiesplayinthe

constructionofEL2learner/student/speakeridentity?

Participants’self-constructionsasEL2learnerswereframedbytheirprofessed

affiliationstoEnglishandtheytookupdifferentandshiftingpositionswithin

discoursesofEnglishandArabicintheirsocioculturalcontext.SpeakingEnglish

andstudyinginEnglishwereseenasprovidingArabwomenwithculturaland

symboliccapitalbuteachparticipantconstructedherethnolinguisticidentity

differently:SandrapositionedherselfasamemberofaSaudimiddle-classfamily

whowerealreadyEnglishspeakerswhileNourpresentedherselfasaspiringto

reachahigherstatuswithinhersocietyasstudentandspeakerofEnglish.Alex

soughttoobtainahigherlevelofeducationthroughEnglish-mediumstudiesand

topursueherimaginedidentityasArabic-Englishtranslator.Nevinewastheonly

onewhodisregardedandrejectedher‘inheritance’relationshipwithArabicinher

self-presentationandfocusedonlyonherdevelopmentasastudentofEnglish.

Participantsconstructedtheresearchrelationshipandtheinterviewspacein

differentwaysandinteractionalrolestakenupininterviewsshapedthenature

anddevelopmentoftheiraccounts.Eachofthefourparticipantsconstructeda

uniqueidentitytrajectoryasasecondlanguagelearner/student/youngwoman

movingthroughPP2toSharifaUniversity.Theyconstructedtheiridentitiesin

theirself-presentationsandintheirpositioningsofselfandothersbothinthe

storyworldstheycreatedandinthelocalcontextoftheinterviewsand

conversations.Narrativeswereshowntoberichsitesforidentityperformancein

threecases,whileNevineconstructedanidentitythroughminimalself-positioning

intalkandthroughherpositioningbyothers.Furthermore,throughtheir

constructionsofimaginedcommunitiesandimaginedselves,participants

reconstructedtheirpastandpresentidentitiesandtheirfutureselves.

Alexconstructedherlearningcareerasdevelopingovertimeandasleadingfroma

largelydisadvantagedpastintermsofeducationtowardsaconsistentlyimagined

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identityastranslatorandEL2speaker.Therewasasenseofmovingforwardinher

self-presentationaslanguagelearner,fromalearnerofwordsintheearly

interviewstoamanipulatoroflanguageinherlateraccounts.Throughheruseof

performancedevices,suchasrhetoricalspeechandconflictingvoices,shecreated

asenseofimpassionedagencyinherEL2learningandalsodevelopedapowerful,

argumentativesecondlanguagevoiceintheinterviews.Herimaginedcommunity

ofhighlyproficientArabEL2speakersandtranslatorsgavedirectionand

coherencetothemovementofidentityacrossherlearningtrajectory.

Nouralsoachievedcoherenceinhercontinuousreferencetoherimaginedsocial

advancementthroughEnglish,toheridentityasmother,andinherconstructionof

amediatoridentityinherlinguisticandculturalmediationbetweenArabicand

English,bothinherstoryworldsandinourinteraction.Nourconstructedherself

asalanguagelearnerandstudentinneedofregularteacherandpeersupportbut

maintainedasenseofagencyinheraccountofnegotiationstoachieveapassmark.

ItwasNour’simaginedcommunityofprofessional,multilingual,independent

middle-classSaudiwomenwhichappearedtodriveheridentityasanEL2learner.

SheeffectivelydevelopedavoiceasanEL2studentthroughherself-positioningas

observer,witness,spokespersonandevensilencedstudentinnarrativessetinher

learningcontext.Nouralsousedhumourandironytoshowresistanceto

institutionaldiscoursesandtoconstructalignmentandsociabilityininteraction.

Sandragaveanindividualised,‘psychological’accountofherselfaslanguage

learner.Sheconstructedherselfasaquiet,detachedclassroomlearnerandher

learningasaseriesofpersonalrevelations.Sandra’sconsistentself-presentation

asaquietrecluseseemedtocontradicthertalkativenessininterviewsandher

strong,provocativesecondlanguagevoiceasmyculturalinformantonhersociety,

languageandreligion.Thepresentationofherimaginedidentityseemedunstable

inthatshewaveredbetweenadesiretobelongtoaprimarycommunityofSaudi

womenandacravingforherownprivatespace.Thisimpactedonher

learner/studentidentityassherarelyappearedtobefullyinvestedinher

academiclearning.

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Nevineconstructedherpast,presentandfutureEL2identitydifferentlyfromthe

otherparticipants:shepositionedherselfandwaspositionedasSaudi/Arabic

‘deserter’movingtowardsherimaginedidentityas‘American’.Aslanguage

learnerandPPstudentNevinepositionedherselfashelperofotherEL2learners

throughArabicandasneedingahigherlevelofEL2instructioninordertoraise

herlanguageleveltothatrequiredbyherimaginedAmericanuniversity

community.Duetotheawkwardnessofourinterviewinteraction,therewaslittle

narrativeperformanceinNevine’stalkbutinthegroupinterviewshedefended

herpositionasinternationalschoolgraduateandseemedtoacceptthelabellingof

herasweakArabicspeakerand‘American’bySandraandNour.

2. Howdoparticipantsrelatetheseidentitiestowidersocialcategoriesintheir

accounts?

Secondaryquestionswhichemergedwere:

a) Howdotheypositionthemselveswithintheirsocioculturalcontext?

b) Towhatextentdoparticipantsconstructagentivespaceswithinsocial

structuresintheiraccounts?

Aswehaveseen,participantsclaimedmembershipofsocialgroupsandimagined

communitiesintheirself-presentationsandemergentsubjectpositionsand

relatedthesetotheirinvestmentsinlearningEnglish.Alex,NourandSandrawere

studentswhohadchosentomajorinEnglishandTranslationwhichreflectedboth

theiragentiveinvestmentintheirbilingualismandalsotheiraccommodationwith

familyandcommunitydiscoursesregardingsuitablecareersforwomen.Facetsof

socialidentitysuchasethnicity,socialclassandgenderoftenemergedasclosely

interrelatedandwerealsoimplicated,especiallyinthesmallstories,inthe

performanceoflearner/studentidentities,eitherasenhancingorconflictingwith

them.Tensionsfrequentlyemergedwhichreflectedcompetingdiscoursesinthe

widersocialcontext,forexample,betweentheforward-looking,morecareer-

orientedgenderdiscoursesoftheprivateuniversitiesversusthetraditional

concernsofdelayedmarriageforyoungwomen.

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Participantsmadestrategicchoicesoverwhichaspectsofsocialidentityto

prioritizeininteraction.Bydemarcatingtheirsocialgroupings,theyoften

positionedthemselvesasmyculturalinformants.Unexpectedly,Sandrawasthe

onlyoneofthefourtobringinherMuslimidentitytoherconstructionofselfin

interactionwithherwhite,Anglophone,non-Musliminterlocutor,buther

individualisedandrecipient-designedaccountsworkedtocreateanagentivespace

withinthesocialcategoryofMuslim.Usingaperformativityapproach,Iwasable

toseehowSaudiIslamicdiscoursesinformedSandra’snarrativesandhowshe

criticallydefinedherIslamicboundariesinthediscursivemoment.However,by

focusingontheartfulperformanceofidentitywithitsdidacticandrhetorical

devices,itsemotiveanecdotes,itsmoralizingandspiritualvoicesanditsstrategic

changesinfooting,anuancedunderstandingofSandra’semergentidentityasa

youngMuslimwomanandEL2interlocutorinthelocalcontextoftheinterview

couldbeachieved.

Aperformativityapproachtogenderdiscoursesalsobroughtouthowparticipants’

subjectpositionsasyoungArabwomenrelatedtotheirEL2

learner/student/speakeridentities.Nour’sdiscourse,whichrelatedfemale

independenceto‘professional’Englishforexample,calledherlesstraditionaland

more‘feminist’motheridentityintobeing.Nouralsolinkedmatrilinealdiscourses

oflearningaboutthe‘other’tolearningandusingEnglish.Furthermore,inher

narrativesofsocialcommentary,Nourpositionedherselfwithindiscoursesof

nationalprogressinwhichproficiencyinEnglishplayedanimportantpart.

Alex’srepeatedactsasanArabdaughterinvokedheridentityasafemalestudent

dependentonherparents’restrictiveoutlookandrules.Discoursesofearly

marriageandfamilyobligationthreatenedAlex’sstudentandprofessionalidentity.

Furthermoretheconflictedethnicidentitywhichemergedfromhernarrativesalso

impactedonherlearner/studentidentity:Alexbroughtoutherdisadvantaged

statusasanon-Saudiinheremotionallychargedoppositionalnarrativesand

constructedherselfalmostwistfullyasayoungArabwomancaughtbetweentwo

worldsbutunabletotakeadvantageofeither.

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SandrapositionedherselfasanEL2learner/studentinrelationtoherSaudi

middle-classgenderedidentity.WhilefocusingonherpersonalfulfilmentinEL2

learningandspeaking,Sandraalsopresentedanimaginedidentityasa

multilingual,youngwomanoftheGulf.Themarriagediscoursechallengedher

studentidentityandherprofesseddesireforherownprivatehomebutinthefinal

interview,asAlex,Sandraseemedtoenactadisappointing(tome)accommodation

withfamilyexpectations.Nevine,incontrasttotheotherthree,didnotposition

herselfwithinSaudi/Arabdiscoursesofethnicity,family,genderorimagined

communities.HerEL2learningonlyservedherambitiontobecomeastudentand

residentintheUnitedStates.InheremailssheconstructedherSaudiworldas

superficialandstagnantand,contrarytoNour’soptimisticaccount,painteda

pessimisticpictureoftheSaudiArabiaofthefuture.IninventinganAmerican

personaNevinetookupasubjectpositionasahighlyunconventionalyoungSaudi

woman.

Thusparticipants’accountsoffemaleaspirationandambitioninSaudiArabia

linkedtotheirEL2learninganduseandreflectedlocaldevelopmentsinincreasing

educationalandprofessionalopportunitiesforwomen.However,usingirony,

hyperboleandparodytobringouttheirevaluativestances,participantsperformed

narrativesofoppositiontopatriarchalandinstitutionaldiscourseswhich

constrainedtheirimaginedidentitiesasstudents,professionalsandambitious

Arabwomen.Thestructureandmultivocalityofthesenarrativeswereaudience-

designedandbroughtoutsubtextsofresistance.Morenuancedsubjectpositions

intermsofethnicityandsocialclassalsoemergedfrommyanalysisofpositioning

andperformanceinparticipantnarratives.

3. Howdoesthetransitiontoanewlearningcommunityaffectparticipants’self-

constructionsasEL2learners,speakersandstudents?

Secondaryquestionswere:

a) Howdotheyperformtheirtransitionstouniversity?

b) Whatstrategies/newsubjectpositionsdotheytakeupinorderto

facilitatetheirengagementwiththeirnewlearningcommunity?

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c) Canconsistenciesbedetectedinparticipantaccountsoftheir

languagelearningandstudyingacrosscontexts?

Transitionwasseenasanegotiationofnewidentitypositionsinalearningcareer,as

enteringandparticipatinginacommunityofpractice,inthiscase,anewlearning

community,andassocializationintoanewdiscoursecommunity.Asexpected,

transitiontouniversitymarkedadisruptivestageinparticipants’learningcareersin

termsofsocial,linguisticandacademicintegration,buttheytoldverydifferent

storiesoftransitionandperformedcriticalturningpointswhichreflectedtheir

individualcopingmechanisms.Identitynegotiationandrenegotiationwerean

importantpartofthesenarrativesasparticipantstookupsubjectpositionswhich

relatedtotheirchanginginvestmentsintheirnewlearning/discoursecommunity.

Transitionsasdestabilisingnarrativeeventsalsoseemedtofacilitatediscoursesof

resistanceandtheconstructionofnewnarrativesofopposition.

Thesocialandlinguisticchallengesoftransitiontouniversitywerebroughtoutin

dramaticandevenanguishedperformancesbyAlexandNour,bothofwhomhad

attendedstateschools.Pastinstitutionsoflearninglosttheircredibilityas

participantsreappraisedthePPasinadequatepreparationforuniversity.Sandra

complainedaboutstudyingnewsubjectsinEnglish,whileNevineexpressedher

dislikeofthegeneralstudiescourses.

Narrativesofhypotheticalorsymbolicescapeactedasanoutletfortheemotional,

social,linguisticandacademicchallengesoftransition.AlexandNevineconstructed

imaginedcommunitieswhichmightmoreeasilyaccommodatetheirimagined

identitiesasstudentswhileSandraandNourretreatedintoamore‘stable’selfas

Muslimormother.Theseescapenarrativeslinkedcloselytostructuralconstraintsin

thatcultural,religious,academicandeconomicdiscourseswerepresentedas

restrictingparticipantmovementsoutsidetheirpresent‘spaces’.

Socializationintotheirdiscoursecommunitymeantlearningappropriateusesof

academicdiscourseandnewculturalpracticesfrominteractionswithexpert

students.Participantsprioritisedproblemsofsocialintegrationintheirearlypost-

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transitionnarrativesandinthefinalinterviewssocialintegrationwasseentobea

definingfeatureofsuccessfullinguisticandacademictransition.OnlyAlex

consistentlyenactedsocial,linguisticandacademicstrategieswhichenabledherto

begrantedlegitimacyasanovicecommunitymember.Identitycongruenceinterms

ofsocialidentityandpasteducationwasafactorinsocialandacademicintegration,

althoughitwasAlex’sagentiveactionandidentitytransformationthatfacilitatedher

performanceofcommunityengagementandbelonging.

Alextookupnewsubjectpositionsasrisk-takerandsocialclimberinhernarrative

performancesaftertransitiontofacilitatethiscommunityengagement.Although

Sandraseemedtofindheruniversityexperiencechallengingbutenriching,shedid

notpresentherselfasemployingsocialoracademicstrategiesinordertojoinand

workwithheruniversitypeersandpresentedherselfasnotfullyinvestedina

Sharifauniversitystudentidentity.Nourattemptedtotakeupamoreindependent

studentidentitybuthernegotiationwithnewlearnerpracticesandhermanagement

ofsocialrelationswerenotalwayspresentedassuccessful.Eveninherfinal

interviewherstrugglesinadjustingtoalargely‘unsupportive’learningenvironment

formedpartofhertransitionnarrative.Nevinewasagaintheexceptioninherself-

presentationaslinguisticallycapablebutassociallyandacademicallydisaffected

fromherstudies.Inspiteofherfinalnarrativeofindividualengagementwithher

newlyacquiredEnglishliteratureself,Nevinestilldidnotpresentherselfassocially

integratedintoheruniversitylearning/discoursecommunity.

Smallstoriesgavemorenuanced,emotionalaccountsoftransitionsuchasthetragic

‘demise’ofNour’scredibilityasastudentandSandra’sretreatfromhersocial

environmentintoherapatheticself.Theseperformancesindicatedthatpast

identitiesactedasstumblingblockswhichobstructedtheemergenceofparticipatory

subjectpositionsatuniversity.Theydrewattentiontotheimportanceofcultivating

adifferentkindofrelationshipwithteachersandpeersatuniversity.Inbackstage

conversationsAlex,SandraandNouralsotoldamore‘private’storyofidentity

renegotiationinrelationtoexternalpressureswhileNevineaddedanidentitylayer

inheremailsandtextmessages.

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Therewashoweverconsistencyinidentityconstructionacrosslearningcontexts.

AlexandNourcontinuedtoofferagentiveaccountsofcollectivestrugglesandsocial

strategies,whileSandraandNevineconstructedmoredetached,individualised

studentidentities.Alex’srapididentityrepairafterthe‘identitytrouble’(Taylor,

2007)oftransitionservedtore-establishhercommitted,hardworkingand

competentstudentidentity.Furthermore,aftertransition,shebuiltonearly

constructionsofherselfasthetypeoflanguagelearnerwhopreferstoworkwith

moreadvancedstudentsandmadethisanimportantsourceoflearningatuniversity.

Sandraalsocontinuedtopresentherselfasthequiet,passive,stoiclearnerat

university,Nourconsistentlyperformedherselfasalearnerinneedofpeerand

teachersupportandNevine’sself-presentationasalienatedstudentintensifiedat

university.

Transitionservedtofacilitatetheintensificationandtobroadenthescopeof

participants’secondlanguagevoicesandspeakingpositionsaslanguagelearners,

studentsandyoungArabwomenwithintheforumoftheinterview.Newsubject

positionsasfamilymembers,Saudicitizensorimmigrantsemergedfromour

interaction.Alex’snarratives,forexample,becameoppositionalandcriticaltowards

whatshesawasculturalandinstitutionalconstraints.Participantscarvedout

agentivespacesintheirevaluativeandattimesemotionalperformancesoftransition

usingavarietyofnarrativeanddramatictechniques.Theperformanceofsilenceand

silencing,forexample,hadbothadramaticandmoralimpactontheconstructionof

studentandgenderidentities.ConstructeddialogueinEnglishwasadevice

frequentlyusedbyAlexandNourinordertoconveytheirevaluativestancestowards

‘bad’teacherswhowerepositionedasinflexibleintheteacher-studentnegotiationof

marksatuniversity.Furthermore,thistechniqueofconflictingvoicesordouble

voicingwasoftenusedtocounteractwiderculturaldiscoursesoffemalerestriction.

10.2ContributiontoresearchonEL2learnersinSaudihighereducation

SocioculturalstudiesofEFLlearnersinSaudiArabiahavetendedtoviewidentityas

ratherstaticandasshowinganidentificationwitheitheramodern,globalised

masternarrativeoratraditionalArab/Islamicone.Almutairi(2007)interpretedthe

resultsofhermixed-methodsstudyoffirstyearSaudifemalestudentsofEnglishas

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showingthatstudentslackedstrategyandgoalsintheirlearningandconformedto

traditionalteacher-controlledmethods,whichreflectedtheirconservativefamily

cultureandstereotypesofappropriatefemalebehaviour.However,intheirfocus

groupdiscussions,Almutairi’s(2007)studentparticipantsdidshowresistanceto

traditionalformsofteaching/learningandmadecreative,farreachingsuggestions

foramorestimulating,learner-centredclassroom.Thusagreaterfocusontalk-in-

interactioncanchallengeunifying,stereotypicalconstructionsofSaudifemale

learnersbyhighlightingtheiragencyandtheiridentitynegotiationwithinstructural

constraints.

Elyas(2011,2014)tendstoviewdiscoursesofEnglishinSaudisocietyintermsof

globalisationandindividualityorArab/Islamicidentityandanalyseswrittenstudent

narrativesintermsoftheiridentificationwitheitherofthesemasternarratives.The

narrativeconstructionofselfasalanguagelearnerismuchmorethanamatterof

bringingtogetherlearnerI-statementsinrelationtoaspectsofculturalidentity,as

seemstobethecaseinElyas’(2011,2014)study.Hisfirst-yearmaleEducation

studentswerehighlycriticalofpastandpresentEFLteaching/learninginSaudi

ArabiaandfocusedontheirindividualresponsibilityforlearningEnglishthrough

socialmediaetc.Similarly,myparticipantsridiculedthepoorattitudeofschool

Englishteachers,presentedtheirpastlearningatthePPasinadequateand

sometimescriticiseduniversityteachersfornottakingtheirlowlevelofEnglishinto

account.Eventhoughtheywerecriticaloftheirsociety,thisdidnotmeanthatthey

werealignedto‘western’individualismandnottotheirArabic,SaudiorIslamic

identities.Intheiroralpresentationsparticipantsmergedwithsomeideological

discoursesandresistedothers,thuscreatingtheirownsecondlanguagespeaking

positionsininteraction.

MystudyofEL2identitybroughtouttheinteractionalgoalsofspeakersintheir

presentationofselfandintermsofthefunctionofthenarrativeininteraction

(Pavlenko,2007).Sincenarrativesininterviewswereseenascoconstructions,

narrativeidentityemergedinthediscursivemomentratherthaninisolatedself-

constructions.Consideringthewidercontext,notonlydidintervieweescontinually

renegotiatetheirpositionsincomplex,competingideologicaldiscoursesbutthey

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alsoshowedhow,assubjects,theywerepositionedbythesediscourses.Thus,

throughaninnovativeanalysisofnarrative,interaction,performanceandpositioning

inparticipants’bignarrativesandsmallstoriesacrossaseriesofinterviews

conductedoverayear,Iwasabletoachieveamorenuancedunderstandingofthe

shiftingidentitiesofmyEL2participants.

Myperformance-positioningmethodologyalsoilluminatedthestudentexperienceof

transitionfromthePPtoanEnglish-mediumuniversityinahomecontext.While

privateinstitutionscanbeseenasfacilitatorsoffemaleadvancementinSaudiArabia,

linguisticlimitations,especiallyofex-governmentschoolstudents,wereperformed

asdestabilizingexperienceswhichledtodiscoursesofdespondencyandresistance.

PastEL2teaching/learninginSaudischoolswaspresentedasastumblingblockto

successfultransition.Alex’stransitionalnarrativesuggestedthatonlyabrave,

concertedeffortonthepartofthestudenttojoinnewlearninggroupscouldfacilitate

thelearningofacademicusesoflanguageandpracticesfromexpertstudents.

Participants’self-positioningsincommunitiesbeyondtheuniversitycontext,

particularlyinimaginedcommunitiesrelatingtonation,ethnicity,religion,social

classandfamily,hadanimpactontheperformanceoftransition.However,while

participantstookrefugeinescapenarratives,thesedidnot,intheend,offer

participants‘real’alternativesintheirlifechoicesasyoungSaudiwomen.

10.3FemaleEL2learners,studentsandspeakersinaSaudicontext

Mystudyhasexploredlanguagelearners/English-mediumstudentsandtheirworlds

inaparticularlocalcontext.Whileparticipantspositionedthemselveswithinthe

increasinglydominantglobalizingdiscoursesofSaudiArabiaasacountryin

transition,theirascribedidentitiesasyoungSaudiorJordanian-PalestinianMuslim

womenlearningandstudyinginEnglishataSaudiuniversitywerechallengedbythe

identitiesthey‘inhabited’(Blommaert,2006)intheirself-presentations.Relations

withtheoutsideworld,forexample,werenotpresentedasaconstraininginfluence

onnationalandculturalidentity,indeedmediatorsubjectpositionsemergedwhich

enhancedtheencounterwiththe‘other’.

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Also,localstereotypesofSaudiwomenassubmissive,dependentandnon-assertive

(see1.4)werenotborneoutinmystudy.ResearchintoEL2learninginSaudiArabia

tendstofocusonthenegativelearningbehavioursofstudents(e.g.Syed,2003;

Almutairi,2007)butAlmutairialsomakestheimportantpointthatstudentlearning

preferencesarelargelyignoredinpedagogicaldiscourses.Myparticipants

constructedtertiaryeducationastheirrightandcarvedoutambitiousfuturesfor

themselvesinlinewithdiscoursesofincreasingeducationalandprofessionalchoices

forwomeninSaudiArabia.Ontheotherhand,inthepresentationsand

performancesoftheirnarrativesoftransition,participants’voiceswereoften

discountedinthestoryworldsoftheirlearningcontexts.

Therewasalsolittleevidenceofparentalsupportforparticipanteducationaland

professionalaspirationsasHatherley-Greene(2012)foundinhisstudyofEmirati

studentsandasKhan(2011)andSeghayer(2014)alsoidentifiedasalearning

constraintintheSaudischoolcontext.Yamani(2000)describesawideninggap

betweenprivateeducationalexperiencewhichencouragesfemaleaspirationsand

traditionalfamilyroles(see2.2.2).However,Nour’snarrativeconstructionofher

daughter’sfutureidentityasanindependent,well-educatedyoungwomanandthe

constructionofherselfasfamilybreadwinnerandasnurturing,ambitiousmother

challengemacroleveldiscoursesoffamilyandgender.Thusanexaminationofhow

participantsperformedtheiridentitiesatmicrolevelchallengedmacrolevel

constructionsoffemaleEL2learners/studentsinSaudiArabia.

Participantnarrativesshowedthatdiscoursesagainstdelayedmarriagetopursuean

educationstillaffectedyoungwomen’slivesinSaudiArabia,althoughmy

participantspresentedthemselvesasfullyinvestedintheirtertiaryeducationrather

thanmarriage.Whileoptionsforwomeninthejobmarkethaveincreased

considerablyandparticipantsfrequentlygavevoicetotheirprofessionalaspirations,

adisapprovalofgenderintegratedworkplaceslurkedinthebackgroundandfemale

jobsandcareerswerepresentedassometimesconflictingwithfamilyand

community.Thuscompetingdiscoursesoffemaleadvancementandsuppression

informedparticipantidentityconstruction.

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IntermsofcompetingEnglishversusArabicmasternarratives,myparticipants

positionedthemselvesascomfortablebilingualsthroughtheirtranslingual

discoursesandmediatorsubjectpositions.Therewaslittleevidenceofthe

subtractiveviewofbilingualismwhichemergedinresearcherapproachesintheir

studiesoflanguage‘preference’amonguniversitystudents(e.g.Al-Jarf,2008).While

discoursesofArabiclossdidinformparticipantnarratives,anEnglish-medium

educationwasnotpositionedwithinideologicaldiscoursesofArabic,religiousand

nationalidentitypreservation.ParticipantsconstructedanEL2identitywhich

appropriatedEnglishinordertocreatediscoursesofresistanceandtoreinforcetheir

agencyaseducated,modernyoungArabwomen.

Inspiteofstatescholarshipstostudyatprivateuniversitieswhichseemtoreflecta

transitiontowardswiderfemaleparticipation,wecannotyettalkaboutthe

“deterritorializedandunbounded”spacesinwhichDarvinandNorton(2015:36)

claimthatlanguageacquisitiontakesplaceandwhichleadtomoreglobalisedand

mobileidentities.AlthoughAlex,NourandNevine,andtoalesserextentSandra,can

beseenaspioneersintheiragentivestruggleagainstsocialstructureswhichexclude

them,Alex,NourandSandrastillpresentedtheirrelationshiptotheirworldandtheir

understandingoffuturepossibilitiesaspositioned,intheend,byconservative,

patriarchaldiscourses.BythefinalconversationevenNevine,whowasonan

individualpathofidentityconstruction,seemedtomakeashort-term

accommodationtoasocialcontextwhichshehadpresentedasinsufferableand

stultifyinginheremails.

10.4Implicationsandlimitationsofmystudy

Theaimofmystudyisnottomakerecommendationsforimprovedstudent

orientationprogrammesatSharifaUniversity.However,Iamstruckbythedistance

constructedinmyparticipants’accountsoftransitionbetweentheacademicand

linguisticworldsoflearnerandlearninginstitution.Byincorporatingthestruggles

andidentityworkwhichemergedfromtheiraccountsinto“educational

understandings”(Thesen,1997:507)ofstudenttransition,universitiesmightbeina

betterpositiontofacilitateandoffersupportduringthiscriticalperiod.Furthermore,

identitystudiesofteachersinEnglish-mediumuniversitiesinSaudiArabiawould

324

providecomplementaryinsights.TeachersareoftenAL1speakerswhoarerequired

toteachpredominantlySaudistudentsinasecondorforeignlanguage.Howtheysee

themselvesasuniversityteachersandwhatallowancestheymakeforlearners’past

educationandArabicknowledgearecrucialquestionsinneedofinvestigationin

relationtolearnerandteacheridentity.

Regardingthelimitationsofmystudy,Iconsidermyinterpretationsofparticipant

narrativestobeinfluencedbymyWestern,moresecularorientation.Forexample,

myanalysisofimaginedidentityandcommunityprobablydoesnotpayenough

attentiontothe‘anythingispossible’inshāʾAllāhideologyofmyparticipant

narrativesinwhichthequestionofeventuallyacquiringmaterialandsymbolic

resourcesremainsinGod’shands.Furthermore,socialstructureswhichconfer

‘culturalcapital’and‘identitycongruence’couldbeseenashavinglimited

explanatorypower.Forexample,withAlex’snon-Saudistatus,stateschool

backgroundandrestrictivefamilyculturewemighthaveexpectedher

marginalisationataprivateuniversity.However,Alexpresentsherselfasayoung

Arabwomanseekingtoproveherexcellenceandworthwithinafamilyculturewhich

doesnotencouragefemalememberstopursuehigher-levelstudiesorcareers.Thus

whatdrivesAlexisherneedforacknowledgementandhersenseofindividualagency

withinanexactingsocial,culturalandacademiccontext.Ialsohavedoubtsovermy

interpretationsofparticipantconstructionsofidentity.Participantinterpretations,at

times,differedfrommyownandImightnothavegiventhemthesignificancethey

merited;forexample,Sandra’sfrequentconstructionsofanindividual,psychological

selfwereatvariancewithmysocialconstructionistorientation,consequentlyI

tendedtorepeatedlypositionherasanisolatedmemberofherlearningcommunity.

10.5Thefinalstageandmovingon

Theendingofastoryholdssignificancefortellersandaudienceandnarrative

researchersrelyontheendingofastoryinordertomakesenseofit(Mishler,2006).

Alex:‘thesocialstrategistinaction’

Nour:‘strugglingcourageouslytostayabovewater’

Sandra:‘onafluctuatingpathofpersonaldiscovery’

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Nevine:‘findingatemporaryniche’

IntheabovephrasesIhaveencapsulatedhowIseethefinal,stillmovingstageofeach

participant’slearningcareer.Thesemetaphoricdescriptionsarebasedonmy

understandingoftheidentitiestheyrelatedandperformedintheirfinalinterviews

andconversations.However,theiridentitynarrativescontinuedinour

communicationslongaftertheendoftheresearchperiodandstillcontinuetobetold

rightuptothepresentday.AlexrecentlygraduatedfromSharifa,thuscompletingher

degreecourseinthreeyears,asshehadplanned.Nevine,afterthreeyearsstillhas

onesemesterleft,whichsheputsdowntohergapsinArabicandIslamicStudies,both

compulsorysubjectsinallSaudidegreecourses.Unfortunately,NourandSandrawere

notabletokeepupthenecessarygradepointaverage(GPA)inordertomaintaintheir

statescholarshipsandhadtoleaveSharifaaftertheendofthesecondyear.Sandra

movedtoabusinesscollegeandtellsmesheismuchhappieraboutherstudies.She

haslostweight,regularlygoestothegymandseemsbrighterandmorepositiveabout

herlifeandherfamily.NourwasobligedtofindworkassoonassheleftSharifaand

thelasttimeIspoketohershewasworkingasasecurityofficeratashoppingmall.

SheseemeddisillusionedandstilltalkedaboutreturningtoSharifa.Herlatestplan,as

relatedtomeinatelephonecall,istoemigratetoAustraliawithherdaughterin

searchofabetterlifealthoughIdoubtshewillbeableto,consideringlocal

restrictionsonfemalemovementoutofthecountry.Thustwoparticipantswere

unsuccessfulintermsoftheirsubsequentstatusasSharifaUniversitystudents.

10.6Finalwords

Amethodologicalimplicationofmystudyisthatgreatcautionisneededinthe

interpretationofinterviewdata.Whileaperformative/self-presentationalanalysis

producesanuancedaccountofidentity,italsoproblematizesparticipantaccountsas

reflectionsofa‘truth’.Sinceidentitiesarecontinuallyreconstitutedininteraction

andspeakersengageinacontinualprocessofself-laminationintheirnarrative

performances(Baynham,2006),establishinganidentitypositionisachallenging

task.Participantsrevalorizetheirpreviouslearningexperiencesandcontinually

repositionthemselvesaslanguagelearners/users,studentsandinterlocutorssothat

theirpresentationsandperformancescreateamovingpictureofself.In

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investigatingmyresearchquestions,Isoughttobuildasolidunderstandingofmy

casestudyparticipants’identitiesasEL2learners,speakersandstudentswithintheir

socialcontext.However,mycharacterizationsanddescriptionswereproblematized

bytheemergenceofnewandambivalentsubjectpositions.ItisThesen’s(1997)

conceptof‘identityinmovement’whichcomesclosetocapturingtheongoing

strugglesofparticipantsintheirsearchforanagentivespaceandanindividual

identityastheymakesenseoftransitionsandthechallengesfacedbytheresearcher

inidentifyingthosespacesandidentities.

327

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APPENDICESAPPENDIXAAlex’sSmallStories

1. AlexBadPESS5

1A:ButIhaveadoctor[smalllaugh]sheteachmePE2K:Yes3A:Err(P)she’sabadteacher[laughsasifembarrassed]4K:Sandrasaidthesamething5A:Shetoldyou?[Laughs]6K:Yes.AndalsoNour7A:Nourisinthesameclassasme8K:ButIthinkSandrahasthesameteacher9A:Yesit’sthesameteacher.She’ssobad[rathergleefully]10K:Butwhyisshebad11A:InallmylifeIdidn’tseeateacherlikeher!12K:Ohdear![Laughs]13A:Really,youcan’timagine.Youcan’t14K:Sotellmewhy.Whydoyousayshe’sbad15A:Well16K:Howdoessheteachyou17A:Heraccentissobad.18WhensheteachusshejustreadsfromtheslidesOK?19Andshesays“Oh,excusemegirls.Myaccentisnotthatwell20andwhenIreadfromtheslides,whenIreadquickly,21Ican’tsaythewordinthecorrectway.”So=22K:=Isee23A:Ididn’tseeateacherlikeherinmylife!24K:Butshe’sanArabisn’tshe?25A:Yes26K:Sheshouldspeaktoyou{inArabic}27A:{She’sJordanian}[Laughs]28K:She’sJordanian?[A&Klaughtogether]29SheshouldspeaktoyouinArabicifherEnglishisnotsogood=30A:=YesshespeakinArabic31whenweaskhersomethingwedidn’tunderstand32Yessheexplainforus.33ButherEnglish!34ShemustteachusinEnglish35K:Yes.36A:HerexamwassobadsobadSOBAD.37EvenIgotomyadvisorandcried38K:Soyoutoldyouradvisor?39A:YesItoldherandshetoldme“WHATHAPPENED”40Istartcrying[laughs]infrontofher.41K:Yes42A:Ican’tbelievemyselfbutIdon’twanttocryinfrontofthegirls.43Ididn’twanttocryinfrontofthegirlsintheexam

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44sowhenIgetoutfromthemid-termexamIgotoDrS[laughs]45andIstartcrying46Shetoldme“[inaloudvoice]Noḥabībī(mydarling),sitdown.47Whathappened”48Alltheadvisorsknowaboutthisteacher49K:Ohsotheyknow.Butwilltheydoanything?50A:Theytalkedtoher.51Shedidn’t,shedon’thearfromanyone.52ImaginethatIget9from2053K:Yeah?54A:[Quietly]Ifailed55Ifailedthemid-termexam56Ican’ttellmyparents57Ican’ttellthem58K:Ohmygoodness!59A:Andtherearesometeachers60ahugenumberofteachersactually61if-ifthestudentsgetunder12OK?62theyrepeattheexamforhim63K:OK64A:Shedidn’t.65K:Shedidn’trepeattheexam66Butwhatwastheexam67A:It’shard68wedidn’tunderstandthequestionevenyouknow69K:Isitaboutthebody?70A:Yesit’sthebody71K:LikeBiology?72A:Noshegiveusalottostudy.73Wegetconfusedwhenwestudythisandthis.74It’ssomethingnotrelatedtoeachother.75Wegetconfused.76Wecannotfocus,thisisnumberone.77Numbertwointheexamwecouldn’tunderstand78whatshemeanbythisquestion79K:Yes80A:Thatwegiveherpoint123thatweexplain81K:Yes82A:Or—wedidn’tunderstand.83K:Anddidyouspeaktoher?84A:YesNourspeaktoher85becauseNourtakea5even86K:IseeOK87A:She(Nour)toldherthat“Idon’tdoanything88notextraworknothing89andIdon’twanttorepeattheexam”90andshetoldher“Whenyoufailinthefinalexam91comebacktomeandIwilldosomething”92Nourtoldher“WhenIfailinthefinalexam

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93Iwillcomebacktothisuniversity94whenIgetoutfromher”95AndNourisonascholarship96andit’shardforher.97K:Yeahyeah.98A:Idon’tknowhowshethinkactually99MyproblemisthatIdidn’tlistentothegirls100whentheytoldmeshe’sbad101{Ithoughttheydidn’tstudywell}102K:{Ohsotheytoldyou?}103A:Yes.104K:Ohsotheoldergirlsthegirlswho---105A:YES.ASKANYGIRLS[Laughs]INCOLLEGE106K:Theywilltellyou.107A:Theywilltellyou“Yes,IknowduktūrahH”108K:Butdoyouhavetodothatsubject109Orcanyounottakeit?110A:YesIhaveto111butimaginethatit’sonecredit112DrStellme:“Whyshedothisforyou113andit’sonecredit”114Andit’sPE!115K:Yesit’sforyoutogetfit=116A:=Yesitshouldbeeasy117anditshouldbeIdon’tknow=118K:=Funaswell119A:Yes.

2. AlexGoodIslamicPresentationSS6

1K:Er-rdoyouspeakmoreinclassthanbefore?2Beforeyoutoldmethatyoudon’tspeakmuchinclass.3Doyouspeakmorenowdoyouthink?4A:Er-rinIslamwiththepresentation5soIdiditverywell6Ididn’timaginemyselfIwilldoitthatwell[laughing]7K:[Laughing]good8A:Becauseyouknower-rjustIdotheer-rconclusion9yestheconclusion10soIunderstandtheideas11sowhenIstarttalksuddenlymyvoiceitwasloudlyyes12andwhenthegirlsstoptalking[laughing]13K:[Laughing]Theywerelisteningtoyou14A:Yes[loudlyandhalf-laughing]soIwasscaredinmyself15butIhopethattheyfollowme16Ididn’treadexceptonewordfromit17sothisisverygood18K:Excellent

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19A:Youshoulddoeyecontactwhileyou’representing20soIlookatthedoctorandhesays:“Nocontinue”21soIfinishmy((xxx))whatIshouldsay22andIsaidtwosentencemore23butitwasgood24K:Good25A:IshowedhimthatIunderstandtheideafromthis26K:Whatwereyoutalkingabout27A:AboutermIslamicandenvironment28K:Ahthat’sveryinteresting29:A:Yes

3. AlexBadIncidentintheBookstoreSS3

1A:NoIdon’thaveanydifficulties2exceptoneproblemitwaswithDrMinTranslation.3Itoldyouthatbefore.4K:Yessodidthatchange?5Diditgetbetterorworse?6A:No,itgetinabadway7becausewedidn’ttranslateanythingfromhisbook8wejusttranslateitinthelibrary9K:Translatedwhere?10A:Inthelibrary,inthebookstore11K:Ok,so---12A:Thisissomethingbad.13K:Couldyouexplainthatmore?Whatdidyoudoexactly14A:OK,it’stoohardforustotranslateitourselves15Itranslatedinthebeginningofthesemestermaybe10lines16Ittookoneweekortwoweektotranslateit17andtillnowIdidn’tremembertheword18totranslateitinaniceway19soIdidn’ttranslatethisbecauseitwas4pages20nonot4pagesitwas6pages21Itwassodifficultforus22Wetranslateditbysomeonefromthebookstore23K:Doyoumeanthatyouwenttothebookstore?24A:Yes.25K:Andyoudidyourtranslationinsidethebookstore?26A:No,wegiveittosomeonewhotranslateitforus27Tothemanwhoworkinthebookstore28K:Isee.Whywasthat,itwastoodifficult?29A:Itwastoodifficult.30Itwasnotsimplewords.31Itwassodifficult32howcanIsayit33it’snotwordsIuseiteveryday34It’ssomethingdifficult

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35K:Wasitscientific?36A:Yesitwasscientificexactly37K:Isee.Sowhathappenedintheexamthen38A:Ermtheexamwasnice39thisiswhatIremember…40K:Isee.AndwasyourresultOKintheexam?41A:YesItookA+42K:[laughswithsurprise]Ohthatwasgood43A:Yes

4. AlexBadPPSS7

1K:SohowdoyoufeelaboutthePPnow2A:Istillhateit[Klaughs]3OhmyGod![Ashrieks]OhIstillhateitalot4Ireallyhateitalotalotalot5K:Canyoutellmewhy6A:[quietly]It’sawholeyear7it’sgonefrommeyouknow8andwhenIwenttothePP9whenIwanttojust(P)10WhenIwanttotalkaboutthePPandcollege11it’sreallydifferent(K:yeah)12WhenItalkaboutthePP13believemeit’safewthings14andwhenweenteredthePP15itjustcomestomind16andtheysaytoyou[inpretentiousvoice]:17“It’sbettertolearninthePP18it’llbeeasierforyouintheuniversity19orthecollege”20[backtonormalvoice]butit’snotactually21It’salittlebitofstudying22K:Butdidn’tyouimproveyourlanguage?23A:Withtheteacherswehaven’tspeakalot24withteachersevenyaʿnīwestudy25justtotalkanormalthingyouknow26(K:mmm)orwehaven’tdoanyconversationswiththem27Youknowthisistheirpolicy28andthisistheirsystem.29Idon’tsaythattheteacherswhoteachmewasn’tgood30Theyareverygood31andtheyteachmeeverything32thatthePPtoldthemtoteachme(K:yeah)33butthesystemofthePP34whattheyteachus35it’sreallywrong

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36Ifeelthatit’swrong37K:ThePPissupposedtobeabridge38betweenschoolanduniversity39ItissupposedtoimproveyourEnglish40andalsoteachyoustudyskillsyouknow41liketimemanagement42tocometoclassontime,43howtomeetdeadlines=44A:=It’sthings,eventhegirls45theyknowabouttimemanagement46andtobeontime47ortheyknowthedeadline48orothergirlstheydon’tcareaboutthat49soit’snotnecessarytoteachusthat50Youknowtheschoolishere[indicatespoint]51andthePPishere[indicatespointnotfarfromfirst]52Yestheyteachussomewords53butweforgetitactually54Evenifwestillrememberit55weuseitnow56Whenwestartcollege57weknewthatweusethe58wordswelearnitfromthePP59butit’snotthepicture60thattheyputitinourmind(K:ah!)61IfyouaskanygirlwhowasinmyclassinthePP62wereallyfeelbadforthatyear63Weallhadthisopinion64thatthePPisgoodand65theygiveusthepicturethat[feigningconcern]66“itwillreallyhelpyouwhenyouenterthecollege”67andyoufeelit’sbetter(K:mmm)68andwhenIwasinthePP69theytoldmeinthesecondsemester70inPP1Itookmaybe93(percent)(K:yeah)71andsomebodytoldmeIcanpassthePP272andgotothecollege(K:really?)73Ifelt[innaïvevoice]“Ohno,Idon’twanttopassPP274Iwanttostudy”75becausetheytoldusthat76“Somegirlstheycomefromschooltocollegeimmediately77theydon’tstudytheintroductionofsomething(K:yes)78ofBusinessforexample79butnowyoustudyIntroductiontoBusiness80nowyoustudyintroductiontoeverything”81K:Butthatshouldhelpyou82A:It’snotnecessary83Ithelpmeyeah84Ihavesomebackground

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85butitwillnot,it’snotdifferent,youknow86itwillnotgivemealotofdifferentoralotofthings87YeahIhaveabackground88orsomeinformationabout(K:yeahyeah)introduction89butifmyteachernowteachmethat90itwillnottakehimawholesemester91toteachmethesethings…92K:Soyouthinktodoanintensivelanguagecoursewouldbebetter93A:YesItoldmymotherthat94“maybeifItookthiswholeyear95andIstudyincoursesoutside96IguessthatIwouldbebetter”97butIwasn’tsurethat98ifItookcoursesoutside99IwillcomebackandIwillmaketheTOEFL100andInotbepassedfromtheTOEFLyouknow(K:yes)101sothiswastheproblem102K:AnddidyoutellyourparentswhatyouthinkofthePP?103A:JustItoldmymother104becausemyfatherhewillfeelsorryaboutthat105hewillfeel[withintensity]“OhmyGodyouwasteallthatmoney!106Andyouknowthissemesteryougivehim20,000(SaudiRiyals)107Fortheyear40,000108Forwhat.Forwhatinformation”109“yaʿnīfor40,000whatyougivemeforinformation110YoulearnmeessayOK.Andthenwhat”111YouknowIcan’ttellmyfatherthat(K:yeah)112Hewillfeelthat[withevenmoreintensity]:113“OhmyGod!Howwefollowthem114orhowwejustlistentohim”115SometimestheUniversityitsays116it’smakeyouconfusingaboutthemyouknow117Sometimes[conspiratorially]shedosomethings---118K:[Laughswithembarrassment]OKandthenthelastquestion

5. AlexJordanSS5

1A:…NowIfeeldifferent2butIcan’tsay3it’salargedifferenceorahugedifference4becausewhenIcomparemyself5withthismybrotherandthismyfriend6nothere’snocomparing7Ican’tcomparebecauseweare8youknowsomethinglikehighschool9youfeelthatyouare{inalimitedplace}10K:{restricted?}

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11A:Youcan’tjustgetoutwhereveryouwantoryouwant12Itmaybenecessarytoworkwithoneboymaybe=13K:=Yes14A:Soshe(myfriend)toldme15thatit’salotyaʿnīit’sdifferent16K:Yes17A:Differentfromhighschool18K:Maybeyou’relearningaboutlifemorethere19A:Yes20K:Whereashereit’sjustyourstudies21A:Yes,Ijuststartthinking22Itoldyouthatmyfathertoldme23thatIprefertogotostudytoJordan?24K:Youtoldmeyeah25A:ButIstartthinking26ifIstudytherehowwillIbenow27I’msurethestudyofJordanitwillbemoreusefulforme28becausethestudythereit’shard29it’smoreharder30but–erIcan’t[slowsdown]31Iwillbesobusy32becauseIwilllivewithmy-ergrandfatherandgrandmother33andit’ssohardtostudyinthefamilyhome34youknowImustbeintheirhome35K:Isee36A:Becauseevenourculturethere37thatIshouldbethereifsomevisitorgotothem38Ishouldn’tletmygrandmotherworkanythingathome39K:Isee40A:Evenheremyfathernow41hecallmybrotherthere42so“Dothisdothisdothis.”43K:Yes44A:Itoldmymother45“NoIcan’tstay.I’mherebetter46becauseI=47K:=Couldn’tyoulivewithyourbrotheroverthere?48A:(P)Well,mybrotherisliveinourhome49K:=Oh!Helives=50A:Youknowtheyareinthesame=51K:=building?52A:Yes.It’sthesamebuilding53soheiseverytimewiththem.54K:Isee.55A:Whentheywantsomething56“Ohcanyougotothismarketandgetsomething?”57Heisalways{outofhome}58K:{Youhavetosayyes}Isee59A:Itoldmymother

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60“Howdoeshestudy,howhestudy”61Becausealwayswhentheywanttogosomewhere62always“OhJamalyouhavetocomewithus”63K:Isee64A:Ohit’shard65veryhardformebecauseI’magirl66K:YeahbutIthinkyou’vechangedalittlebit67becauseyoutoldmebefore68thatyoudidn’twanttostudyinJordan69soyou’vechangedalittle70A:Yes,I-whenIheardfrommybrother71andIhaveafriend72shestudyinPalestine73thesameasJordan74K:Thesamesystem75A:YesandwhenIheardfromthem76Ijuststartthinking:77WhyIdidn’tgotheretostudy78Buttheyliveinahappyplace79Theywanttoliveinthisplace80butIdon’twant81Ican’tbelieve82evenwhenIwentthereinthesummer83justoneweekandIstartcrying84Iwanttocomebacktohere85ThisIcan’t86becausewearetherestillthereathome87Mydadmyfatheralwaystellus88“I’mherejusttoseemyparents”so---89K:Soyoudon’treallygoout?=90A:=Nononever91Wedon’tknowanythingaboutthere92Ormaybewithfamily93Igowithmyauntiemaybetoherhome94justlikethat95K:Isee96A:It’shereinhome97It’sthereinhome98K:Hometohome[smiles]99A:Yes

6. AlexIdealandPossibleSelfSS7

1K:Iwantyoutoimagineyouyourselfafter5yearsOK?2SoinshāʾAllāhyou’vefinishedtheuniversity(A:[laughs])3Wheredoyouseeyourself4Whatareyoudoing5Useyourimagination

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6butmakeitsomethingthatcouldbetrue7DoyouknowwhatImean?8A:OK[smilesasifit’sagame]9sosomethingthatcouldberealisticinmylife10Isawmyselfincollege11Idon’tknowifIgetmarriedinthelastyearincollege12butIwantedtoseemyselfasthegirlsnow13whoaretalkingEnglisheasily14andIcantalktoeveryoneyouknow15andIhavethisrealaccent16Theaccentyouknowit’sjust17it’snotalwaysthelanguage18Somegirlstheyreallyhavetherealaccent19agoodaccentwhentheytalk20K:Butyouhaveagoodaccent.21A:Notheothergirls22it’smorebetterthanmeyouknow23K:It’sgoodbecauseyoudidn’tlearnEnglishinEngland(A:yes)24Youraccentisfine25Youspeakclearly26Iunderstandeverythingyousay27A:ImeandoyouknowwhensomeSaudiwomen28whotalkEnglishandyouknow29OKshe’saSaudiwoman30oranEgyptianwoman(K:yeah)31Imeansomegirlswhenyouhearthem32ifyouheardthemonthephone33youwouldnotguessthattheyareanArabicpeople34K:Youwouldliketospeaklikethem?35A:Iwouldliketobelikethem36K:Why37A:IguessIwillachievesomething38OrIwillprovetomyselfthatI’mlikethem39Ididsomething40Ihavethisaccent41Ilearnedsomethingfromthese4years42andreallyifItalktosomeone43hewillsay“OhmyGod!Youaregood!”44A:EvenIjustsawmyselfifIwantedtowork45andIwishthatwhentheyseemytranslation46theyyaʿnītheydon’tseeitasanormalone.47Theythinkthat“Ohyouarereallygoodinthis48it’sreallyyourdepartment49andyou’rereallygoodinthat”50youknow(K:Isee)andsomuch,Idon’tknow51Idon’tthinkthatwhenIgraduatefromcollege52Iwillimmediatelystudymaster53Iseemyselfinthelastyearfromcollege54I’mmarriedorI’mengagedyouknow(K:yeah)

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55andifI’mmarried56Idon’tknowwhat’shismind,myhusband(K:right)57Idon’tknowifhewillacceptIstudymasterorifIwork58Idon’tknowyouknowso(K:[dubiously]right)59I’mjustnowtellingyouwhatIwishaboutmystudy60whatIwish(K:yeah)61Iwishreallythat…62K:OK.Ifyouwereworkinginacompany63youwouldworkwithmenright?64A:ErrIwouldliketoworkinhome65Iguessthatisbetterforme66andbetterformyfamily(K:[dubiously]OK)67Becausethisisthething68thatIwillpersuademyhusband69that“OKI’mwithyou”70MaybeIwillhavechildren71andI’mworkingathome72SoIcandividemyself(K:Isee)73butreallyIthinkit’sveryhard74Ithinkmyhusbandwillnotaccept75we’rePalestinianpeopleyouknow76wenotthatopenmind77wearenotthatthing78Hewillnotacceptthat79Iwillbeworkingfromthemorningtilltheafternoon80Idon’tknowtillwhat(K:Isee)81youknow(K:sodoyousee=)82=andIacceptmyself[raisesvoice]83thatIworkinhome84andmydepartmentislikethat85myTranslation(K:yah)86youcanworkathome87it’snotdifferentthantheoffice88It’sthesamething89Iwilltranslate.

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APPENDIXBSandra’sSmallStories

1. SandraArabicProblemSS2PartA(p.5-6)1K:HowareyougettingonwiththeTranslationstudies2How’sitgoing3S:E-ermit’snice4butthereissomeproblemwithme5I’mnotspeakingwellinArabic6 notinEnglishinArabic7 SometimesIdon’tknow8 howtoexplaintoyouwhatIwanttosay9 That’snotmyproblem10 [speakingfast]That’sfrommamaandItookit11 Idon’tknowfromwheremamahasproblem12 evenwithherArabiclanguage13 Idon’tknowwhy14 AlsoItookit,alsomysister15 Wefindsomething16 wedon’tknowhowtospeakinrightwayinArabic17 HowcanItranslatesomethinginEnglishtomylanguage18 Thatismyproblem.19 Itrytodowell20 butsometimesIjusttellmama21 “Whyyoudon’tspeakwellinArabic22 Why.That’syourlanguage.23 Whyyoudon’tknowhowtodescribe24 Whyyoudon’tknowhowtousethewordinarightway”25Idon’tknow.26K:SoIwonder27Whatdoyouthinktheproblemis28 Isitthatyouknowtheword29 butitdoesn’tcomeintoyourmind?=30S:=No.I(P)Iknowtheword31 butItrytogiveyoumyopinion32 butyouwillstill33 butyouwillnotunderstandquickly34 Ihavetotellyouanyexamplesforanythingyaʿnī35 really,Ijustfindsomeproblems36 someissueforhowIcangiveyoumyopinion37 justIhaveaproblem38 butmyfamilynowtheyunderstand39 buttheothersthefriendsmyteacher40 day-after-daytheyknowwhatismyproblem41 AlsoDrMnowhetellme“youhaveproblemtranslatingintoArabic.”42 Itellhim:“Yes[laughing]howIcan”…..

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PartB(p.7-8)1K:Sowouldyouthinkofchangingifyoufindaproblem?2 Wouldyouthinkofchangingsubject?3S:Nono.I’mjusttryingtobenice4 becausethatisveryproblemifIwanttoworkinanywhere5 forexamplecompanyinschoolinuniversity.6 Thatisveryhard7 andformeIfeelthatisbad8 whenIknowsomething9 butIdon’tknowhowtoexplain.10 (P)Youknowalsowhenmyfriends,11 theyalwaysaskmetoexplainthelesson12 explainsomething.13 Idon’tknowhowtosayitinArabic14 andthisproblemI’mnottryingtomakebetteryaʿnī15 al-ḥamdulillāhnowwhenIexplainsomething16 theyunderstandbecauseI’mnowdoingbetter17 I’malwaystryingtostudy.18 Yes,notstudy,yesmaybestudy.19 Maybeyoucansaystudy.20K:SodoyouthinklearningmoreEnglish21 hasaneffectonthisproblemyouhaveinArabic?22 Doesithaveaneffect?23S:Ithinksometimes24 notsometimesnowIfeelreally25 theEnglishisveryeasy26 andtheArabicthelanguageis(P)complicated27 because,Idon’tknowwhy28 butnowinEnglishIcanspeakwell29 Icantellyouahmyopinion30 Icanspeak.31 ButinArabic32 [seriously]Ifoundproblems33 Idon’tknowhowtotellyouwhatIwant34 whatIwanttosay.

2. SandraTeasingNevineGroup-2

(1)K:…[ToS&No]SohowisNevine’sArabic,doyoufeelit’sthesameasallthegirls?=

(2)S:=Nomaybewhenshespeakshespeaklikeyouknowthemaidswhenshedoesspeak[Everyoneburstsoutlaughing].(3)Ne:[Laughingloudly]yāwaylīk(I’mwarningyou!)(4)S:wāllāh(Really!).Shespeaklikethem.AlsowhenshetranslatessomethingsometimesIthink—

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[Neisinhysterics](5)K:Andshe(Sandra)laughsatmewhenIspeakArabic.

[Nevinecontinueslaughing]

(6)S:AreyousurethatisArabic?Andherhandwritingwāllāh(really)she,sometimesyaʿnīIfeelmymaidshe=

(7)No:[Laughing]=khalāṣ(That’senough!)

(8)S:Mymaidshespeaksbetterandshewritebetter.NoNevinenoshe’s=

(9)K:=She’swhat

(10)S:She’sbad.She’sbad.

(11)Ne:yāwaylī(I’mdonefor)

(12)K:Ohmygoodness!Nourwhatdoyousay

(13)No:Nosomewordsit’sgood.

[Alllaughingstill]ButsomewordsIthink{maybeshe’sAmerican}.

(14)S:{Inanormalway}Inanormalwayshecanspeakwell(K:yes)butinArabicin=

(15)Ne:=likeArabictheformallanguage

(16)K:ClassicalArabic?

(17)Ne:Yesclassical

(18)S:Ou-u!

(19)Ne:[laughing]Horrible!

(20)S:ReallyIthinkwemustmakeanewlanguageforNevineand[Nourlaughs]wewanttomakeabookforthislanguagewāllāh(really).[Nevineisstilllaughing]

(21)K:[ToNevine]ButyoufinishedSaudischooldidn’tyou?

(22)Ne:YeahbutIwasinanAmericanschoolaninternationalschool

(23)K:ItwasinternationalsoeverythingwasinEnglishyeah?

(24)Ne:Yeah.

(25)K:Sothat’swhyOK.Butfromwhatagedidyougototheinternationalschool?

(26)Ne:KG1KG2.

(27)K:Rightsoyoudidn’tgotoanySaudischools?

(28)Ne:IwasstudyingIslamicStudiesbutalittlebit

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(29)K:SoArabicwasmorelikeaforeignlanguage?Soofcourseherexperienceexplainsit

(30)S:OKmissbutyoualso

(31)K:MyArabicisnotgood.[Alllaugh]

(32)S:Let’shearyou.Wejustlisten.[the3laugh]TellusastoryinArabic.

(33)K:lāmāaʿrif(NoIdon’tknow)[Nevinelaughsoutloud]Ican’tsayastory![Alllaugh]

(34)S:OKjustafewwords.

(35)No:Yeah.

(36)S:yāllāh(Comeon).Saysomething.

(37)K:OKbutletmeturnofftherecorder

3. SandraMuslimSS4

1K:Soyoudon’tplantostartwork2 untilafteryou’vefinishedyourdoctorate?3S:MmmorifIcouldinshāʾAllāhstudyandwork4 noproblemforme5 becauseIalsojustthinkaboutme6 aboutmylife7 AlsoIthinkaboutonethingyaʿnī8 itisthemostimportant9 IjustwanttomakesomethingafterIdied10 allthepeoplerememberme11 likeImakebuildingforpoorpeople(K:yes)12 becauseIneedthisyaʿnī13 afterI’mdeadtheytell14 “Sandra,shewasagoodperson15 andthenshemakeallthisforus”16 Doyouunderstandme?17K:Yes.Iunderstandyou.18S:IhavemanythingsIwanttodo19 becauseIwantthepeople20 whentheyrememberme21 theyremembermeinagoodway22 Becausethepeoplehereusually23 thepersonwhenhedie24 theimportantthingiswhathedone(K:that’sright)25Becauseofthatyaʿnī26 Ijustthinkaboutthis

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27 Iwantjusttofinishmystudyquickly28 Ijustwantmakelikethat29 becauseIneedtodosomethinglikethis.30K:Isee.Sothat’syourmaingoalisit?31 Isthatmoreimportant(S:no)32 thanbeingatranslator?33S:No,Idon’thave.34 Justallmygoalisdogoodthingsthathelpme35 thatgivemegoodthingswhenI’mdead.(K:Yes)36 ThenameinArabicisajar(rewards)37 yaʿnīifyoudogoodthings38 youwillnotgetitindunyā(life)39 butintheakhirah(afterlife)40 Ifyoudogoodnow41 youwillnottakeitnow42 butyouwilltakeitafteryou’redead(K:Isee)43 Thishelpsmetogettojannah(heaven)44 Youunderstandme?45 (K:Yeah)Likethat.46K:Butwhataboutfromthepointofviewofworking47 Ifyougetyourdoctorate48 Youtoldmebeforethatyoumightdoyourmaster’s49 outsideSaudiArabia50S:YesIsaylikethat51 butmyfatherheisnotallowforme52 becauseIdon’thaveabigbrother53 I’mtheonlyone(K:yes)54 BecauseIdon’thave55 andbecausealsomamashetellme56 “Youarenotthekindofpeople57 thatcanlivewithouthisfamily.”58 Icannotlivealone.59K:Youagreewiththat60S:Yesbecauseonetime61 IgotoMedinawithmygrandfather62 andinthat3daysIwassufferingIknow.63 Imissmymom64 Imissmysisters65 IjustcallthemandthenIcry66 Iamnotoneofthesepeople67 whocanstayawayfromhispeople.68K:Yeahitwouldbehard69 Andwhataboutworknow70 Whatworkdoyouseeyourselfdoing71 afteryou’vefinishedyourstudies72S:Ijusttrytoworkinabigcompany73 orinasafārah(embassy)74 Ijustliketoworkinsomewhere75 whereIfeelIwilllearnmorethings(K:yes)

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76 It’shelpmetomemorizetheEnglish77 soIdon’tforget78 insteadofjustpractising(K:yeahgood)79ButIdon’thavegoal80 likeIwanttomakecompany81 orIhavemyownbusiness82 noIdon’thaveanythinglikethat83 Ijustwanttomakesomethingforpoorpeople84 becauseonetimeIcan’tsleepforoneortwodays85 becauseIseetwosmallkids86 theywasinsidethegarbage87K:Where.Inapoorpartoftown?88S:YeahIthinkthey’refromṣūmāl(Somalia)89 orsomewherelikethat90 Theywereinsidethegarbage91 lookingforfood92 andatthattimeIfeelsosad93 andyaʿnīIcan’tsleep94 MaybeIstaylikethatin(for)3days95 IjusttellMama“Mamatheyareverysadyaʿnī.”96 MaybethattimereallyIwassosad97 BecauseofthatIdon’tthinkaboutbusinesslikethat98 Ijustthinkof(to)myself99 thesepeopleneedsomeonethinkofthem(K:yes)100Andalsomyreligion[stumblesoverword]101 myIslam102 it’slearnmetobeagoodperson103 andshowlovetopeoplebetterthan(to)myself104SometimesIfeelhereit’sverybadyaʿnī105AllMuslimpeopletheycan106buttheydon’tcareforthesepeople107ButoutsideIsawlikeAngelinaJolie(K:yeah)108ShedomanygoodthingsforthepeopleinsideAfricalikethat109andIfeelshe’sagoodwomanreally110becauseshethinkofthesepeople.

4.SandraMenandWomeninSaudiSS61K:…doyouthinkit’seasierformentobetranslators2 ordomenandwomenhaveanequalchancetoworkastranslators?3S:(P)ThemanyaʿnīIseemyfatherhe’snot4 hedidn’tliketoyaʿnīknowEnglishwell5 Hecantranslatebutjustforhelpsomeonelikethat6 butnotyaʿnīthisishisjob7K:Sodoyouthinkwomenliketobetranslators8 morethanmen?(S:yah)Why9S: LookhereinSaudiArabiayaʿnī10 themanhedidn’tfocusjustinonegoallikewomen

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11 hejustwantfinishhisstudying12 andthenhegotajob13 butwhatkindofjob14 anything15 MaybehewillgetAccounting16 hegotoMarketing17 hegotoBusiness18 Sowhatisyourgoal19 [quietly]“Anything”20 Butwomentheyhavegoalsyaʿnī21“Iwanttobeapharmacist22 Iwanttobeatranslator23 Iwillbeadoctor”yaʿnī24 Thewomanshehavegoal25 andshewantandshewantgetit.26K:Doyoumeanwomenhavehighergoalsthanmen27 (S:yeah)Whydoyouthinkso28S: (P)ReallyIdon’tknow29 butyaʿnīthisiswhatishappenyaʿnī30K: youmeaninSaudisociety(S:yah)31 OKdoyouthinkitwasalwayslikethis?32S: Idon’tknowaboutbefore33 butnowyaʿnīIseesomepeopletheysay34 “Yourstudyisnotimportant35 Themoreimportantthingisthatyougetmarried.”36 (K:AhOK)FormeIsay37 “No,formeit’sbetterifIstudyandthengetmyjob38 andthenlooktomylifegetmarriedanything39 Butthemostimportantisstudying”(K:mmm)40 Butthemanyaʿnīlikemycousin41 hedoesn’tmindwhathework42 heworkinbankOK43 hecanworkincar(K:mechanic)44 nocarsalesyahhecanworkinanycompanyyaʿnī45 hedon’tmindanything46 butthewomanno47 shewantworkinaspecificplaceinaspecialplace.48K: Isthatbecausemenwanttomakemoneyquickly?49S: Nobecausetheyarelazyyahlazy50 Theydon’thaveonegoaltoberich51 Hejustwantgetjobhavehouse52 hecanfeedhecanworkhecangohouse53 OKthat’senough(K:Isee).54 Ifyouseeheremostofthedoctorsinthecollegeorintheuniversity55 arefromMoroccofromIndiafromSyriafromlikethat.56 (P)Youwon’tseeSaudidoctorsjust2or3percent.57 Doyouunderstand?58K:YesIunderstandbutwhyisthat59 Imeanthey’renearlyallArabsaren’tthey?

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60S: YeahIdon’tknowyaʿnīformeIhave(been)inthisuniversity61 since2yearsbythisweekyaʿnī62 Ihaveoneyearbeforeandthisisthesecondyear.63 IneverseenaSaudidoctor64 maybejustinoureventIremember65 maybe5doctorsIseethem66 andwhenyoulookabouttheirhistory67 theydidn’tsay“IlivedinSaudi.”68 Hesay“IwasinAmerica”69 “IwasinLondon”70 AllthedoctorshereinSharifa71 “IwasinAmerica.IwasinLondon.Ilivethere72 Ijustcomehereyaʿnīforfewdays73 andthenIwillcomebackthere.”74 (K:Really?)EveneverymaninSaudiArabia75 whowantbecomeabigthing76 heliveoutsideandthenheworkoutside77 andkhalāṣyaʿnīhislifeisthere78 nothere(K:Isee)becausehereyaʿnī79 nothingishelpyoutobe80 togetyourgoal81K:butforwomenit’sdifferentdoyouthink?82S: Evenforwomen.83 LikehereifsomeonecanmakeanAC(airconditioner)84 ormakeasmallfan85 orsomeonewhocanmakemedicine,86 justfromhisownIdon’tknowwhat87 (K:aninventor,inventsomething)Iwilllook[(P)asSandralooksupwordinhermobilephone]88 Inventyeah.Herewedon’thaveacentreforinvention89Wedon’thave 90Hereisnotlikeoutside91 LikeAmericatheyhaveacentreforeverything92 Herewedon’thavethatyouknow93likeasyousayingeneral94thegovernmentareupsetthepeoplehereinSaudiArabia95Kthegovernmentupsetthepeople96Supsetitsmeanyaʿnībroketheirdreams.

5.SandraIslamicClassSS6

1 S:…Yeah,forme,Icanfocus2 butinIslamonlyoneclassIcan’t

3K:Theteacher’sdifficult4S:He’snotdifficult5butthewordisverycomplicatedandtoolong6andI’mjustconfusedaboutthat7I’mjustyaʿnīinthisclass

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8Imustdoonething(P)9Ijustdofirsthearyouorwritinglikethat10Ican’treally11K:youcan’tlistenunderstandandwrite12S:yahIrememberthelastsemester13hewasexplainingsomething14andthenIrecordthisclass15IrecorditinmyiPod16andthenwhenIcometohomeIjust17IwasthenatthattimeIwasunderstandit18ButIcan’teveryclassrecord19becausetheyareladies20theyspeak,likethatit’snotgoodyaʿnī21it’snotfineevenifIdeletethisvoice22(K:Isee)yaʿnīit’snotnice23K:theladiesdon’tliketoberecorded24S:FormeifIseesomeonerecord25Iwillnotspeak(K:really?)26formeyeahbecauseyaʿnīeverything27[inloudervoice]Idon’tlikeittohappenwithme28Iwillnotdoitwiththeothergirls29(K:Isee)yeahjustinthatfirstclassyaʿnī30he’stheonewhospeakandthenIrecord.31Whenmyfriendstarttalking32inthatcaseIstoprecording33K:DoesDrMspeakveryquickly?34S:Nobuthisvoiceistoolow35andinhisclassIfeelsometimesIwassleep36Hisvoicealwaysistoolow.37K:TheIslamhetalksaboutisnotasyoulearnt38aboutIslamatschoolright?39It’sdifferent(S:yah)40Howisitdifferent41S:Inschooljusttheyteachmetheimportantthings42justyouknowfewminutesliketopicsyaʿnī43theyjustlearnusaboutinIslamyoumustdothisandthat44becauseyouwillbelikethatOK45andanotherthing46youmustcoveryourhair47youmustdothat48thisisḥarām49thisisḥalāl50likeafewthings(K:mmm)51andjusttopicsbuthereno52somethingwetookityaʿnī53K:Whatdoeshetalkabout54S:Hetalkinourstudyinmylastclass55hewastalkingabout56whatifwhenIwasoutsideandthen

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57ifIseeabottleofwineinfrontofme58whatIcando.CanItouchit?59CanIstayonthetabletheoneithave?60Likethatwewassay61K:Socanyoudiscussit62ordoeshejusttellyou?63S:Noheaskandthenhediscuss64andthenheexplains65likethatyaʿnīhe’sgood66buttheonlyproblemthinginhisvoice67hisvoiceislow68K:Butcanyousay“Excuseme69butIdon’tagreewithyou70Ithinkthis”?71S:Yeahyeahyoucan72He’sverylovelyandhe’sverynice.

6.SandraApatheticDispositionSS5

1K:Somylastquestionis:2doyouthinkyou’vechangedinanywaysincethePP?3S:Yeah[disconsolately]becausenow4 I’mjustthinkingaboutmyself5 whatI’mgonnado[intragictone]6 I’mgonnafail7 Ican’tdoit,likethat8 andthenIsay“NoIcan9Iwillhelpmyself[intragicmonotone]10IwillaskAllahtohelpme11 Iwillworkwell12 Iwillworktoomuch”likethat13K:soyoudon’tfeelsoconfidentnow14S: no,andalsobytheway15 nownowIhaveabreakmorethanthePP16 butevennowinmybreak17 Idon’tliketostaywithanyone18 Ijustwanttostayalone19 yaʿnīIstayinmybreakat10o’clock20 Istayjustonehouralone21 Ifsomeonecomesandsitwithme22 IgetoutbecauseIdon’thave23 yaʿnīI’mnotinthemoodtostay24 withmyfriend(K:Why)likethat25 Ifeel(P)(K:depressed?)yahnonot26 unhappyorsadit’slikeyouknow27 I’mnotinthemood.28 AlsoifI’mhungry,29 I’llcutmylegbeforegoingtodining

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30[Klaughs]andthencomeback31Iwillneverdoit32[Comictone]onetimeIwasveryhungry33 WheredidIgo34 [Speakingfast]Ijustgoinmyclass35 Ididn’teat36 Shetellme“Whydon’tyoucomeandeat”37 Itellher“It’shotandthere’ssunit’sveryfar38 Doyouwantmetopassthisbigspace39 justforeating?[Laughing]Areyoucrazy?40 Istayhere.Idon’thaveaproblem.”41K: Isitbecauseyoufindtheuniversityhard?42S: Ermit’shard43 notbecauseofthisuniversityitselfno44 becauseofme45 becauseI’mnowintheuniversity46 becausenowI’mbig47 Imusttakemoreresponsibilitylikethat(K:mmm)48 andnowmineislikeerm49 Icantakemorenoproblem50 GivemeandIcantake,noproblem51 Icanwait(K:you’repatient)52S:Idon’tknowṣabr(patience)53 I’mpatientyestoomuchalot54 (K:you’reverypatient)yahverypatient55 youknowlikewhenIwastired56 thisarmwashurtmebecauseoftheAC(airconditioner)57 Ididn’tgotohospital58 butthiswasverypainful(K:that’snotgood)59 yesIknowbutdoyouwantmetogotohospital60 [infed-upvoice]andstaywaitingfordoctors61 andthengetoutwithoutnothing?No62maybejustafewdays63 andthenIwillbecomefine64 LikethatIam.65K:Soisthisjustnow66 orfromSeptember?67S: Nonono.Iamlikethat68 sinceIwassmallyaʿnī69 SincethetimeIcometothislifeIamlikethat70 ButnowIammorethanbefore71 becauseofuniversity(K:mmm).72 AndsometimesIfeelheadache73 IwantgetPanadol74 Iaskmyfriend“Doyouhave?”75 andshetellmenoIsay“OKkhalāṣ.”76 OKmyauntieshetellme“Askthenurse.”77 Itellher[speakingveryfast]“TsktskI’msotired.78 Doyouwantmetoaskthenurse?

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79 Nokhalāṣnoproblem”80K:WesayinEnglish“Ican’tbebothered”=81S:=Noit’snotbothered82 youknowlikelazy[inwhinyvoice]83 “Ohyouwantmeaskher?khalāṣno”84 andthenshetoldme“OooIdon’thavewater85 Doyouwantmegooutsideandbringwater?”86 [Sspeaksveryfast]“Noneednoneed”87 youknowit’sverylazy88K:Yeahbutisitbecauseyou’restillinyourfreshmanyear?89S: NownowIfeelthatifIfinishthisyear90 andthenstartstudymymajor91 IthinkIwillbefine92 orIwillbemoreexciting(excited)93 butnowIfeelsolazy94 Idon’twanttodoanything95 Ijustwantwaitingformyclasses96 juststaygoformycourseslikethat

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APPENDIXCNour’sSmallStories

1. NourEarthDreamSS11K:Socommunicationisveryimportanttoyou.2No:Yeahimportantnow3Nowveryimportant4K:DoyouliketospeaktoEnglishpeople5toAmericanpeople?6No:Yeah7K:Why8No:Becausetheaccess(accent)good9K:Justtheaccent10oryouliketoknow—11No:MaybeIlikeittheAmerican12K:Canyoutellmewhy?13No:[Laughsshyly]Mydream14Idon’tknow.Becauseevery15yaʿnīminanāṣaghīrah (ImeanfromthetimeI16kuntasmʿadāīmānyitkallaminnūAmrīkāwasyoungIusedto17istheearthdream alwayshearpeoplesay thatAmerica)18K:mīnqālathadhāabūkī (Wasityourfatherwhosaidthat?)19No:lākānatihnāmaʿānā20illīrabatnājiddatī(Noitwasourgrandmotherwhoraisedus)21K:Yourgrandmother.22No:Mygrandmother23wafʾāAllāhyerḥamhā(ShediedGodblesshersoul)24 hiyātaqūldāīmānAmrīkā25earthdream(Shealwaysusedtosay“Americaisthe earthdream”)26Shewant—Ilovemygrandmother27butshewanteveryone28mīnawlād'hāyiṭalʿahāAmrīkā29bastishūf'hā(ofherchildrentotakehertoAmerica justtoseeit)30K:[Laughs]31No:Bastishūf'hā (Justtoseeit)32“IwanttoseeAmerica”33Butsheisdieyeah34NotseeAmerica.35K:WhydidshewanttoseeAmerica36No:Idon’tknowwhy37butwhenIwas5or6yearsold38anākammarrahasāl'hā

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39layshintītibghītishūfīAmrīkā(Iaskedhersomanytimes “WhydoyouwanttoseeAmerica”)40basabghaashūfAmrīkā(“IjustwanttoseeAmerica”)41K:Whataboutyouandyourdaughter42DoyouspeaktoyourdaughteraboutAmerica?43No:NobecausemaybegointheAmerica44maybenogo45Sheisinsidethedreamlikeme46butʿashānlammāal-insānyiḥibal-balad47yiḥibal-nās(becauseifapersonlikesthe countrytheylikeitspeople)48K:aywahakīd(Yesofcourse)49No:fālammāyishūfal-nāsnafsūyiqūl(Sowhenheseesthepeople, insidehimhesays)50Ah!IloveitAmerica51“Hihowareyou”52“Youareverykind”53Maybetheytellme:54“NoIamFrench55orIamGermanyor—”56“Oh!”Itellthem57“thankyou”58andIamgoing[laughs]59K:[Laughs]That’sfunny

2. NourBadPESS5

1No:Itelltheadvisor2sheistellme:3“Gotoduktūrah—”anotheradvisor4Iforgetname5Igointhe—yeahdraR6everytimeshe’smeeting7“Ihaveclass8Icannotstay”9Likethat10IwanttodropthisPE11Ican’tcontinue12Alexsheiscrying13K:Iknow14No:allstudents15notsheandme16allstudentsshe’s17betterinEnglish18butcannotdoexam.19K:It’sdifficult?20No:Yesit’sdifficult

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21Sheputitquestionforuniversity22notfreshmen23K:you’refreshmen24No:Yahdifferentfromquestions25trueandfalse,choosecorrectword,likethat26Wenevertakeexamlikethat27K:Thequestionsweredifficult?28No:Yeahwecannotunderstand29whatsheneed[raisesvoice]30SheneedliketheMath31orneeddivision(K:definition?)32definitionorneedreasonsorneedsolve33[Pleading]Whatyouneed34K:Onlyintheexam?35No:Inmid-term(exam)36Shenotgiveusquiz37noquizonlyclasses38classesmaybe2classesin1week39or3classesIdon’thaveschedule40butafterthatit’smid-term(exam)41K:Butintheclassroom42whatdoesshedointheclassroom43No:Togetherwithmeinclass2American44onehernameisM45andsecondIforgetname46MAmericancannotunderstand[ironicvoice]huheverything47shecannotunderstand[raisesvoice]48Shetakeitthemid-termpaper:49“Whatyouneed.Whatyouneed.”50shetellDrA(theinvigilator)51DrAsay“Don’ttalkintheexam”52Butshesay53“Idon’tunderstandthepaper”54Iseelikethat55DrAtellme56“Nourturn(round)”57butshe’sAmerican58shecannotsolve59andIArabicslow[laughsaloud]60Really![inhighpitch]Icannot!

61K:Butcanyouaskherinclass62“ExcusemeIdon’tunderstand63Canyouexplainit?”64No:Shetell[withgreataffectation]“her-her-her65anotherstudentcannottellher?”66Likethat(K:Oh!).“Her-her-her67cananybodyexplainher?”68OhmyGod!69Ikeepitsilent

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70K:IssheSaudi?71No:Urdunī(Jordanian)maybe72K:ButshespeaksinEnglishtoyou73No:Englishonly.ShenotspeaktheArabic74Igointheoffice75“Pleaseduktūrah76Icannotunderstandeverything77Pleasemayberepeat78Allmaybeunderstand79butmeandsomestudents80notunderstandeverything81Pleasesayinsimpleword82because(so)Iunderstand”83she[inindifferentvoice]“7everything7Nour”84Icannot85Sometimes[laughs]forgetnameyeah?86K:Ofcourse87No:Icannotsayit’sthePE88becauseverynicesubjectyeah?89K:Yeahdoyoudoexercise?90No:Yeahexercise91allthebodyyou’relovingthesubject92Buttheteacher!93Everybody“nonono94nottakeitnowthePE”95MaybeaftergoingDraH96ItakeitthePE97K:Rightit’saproblem98No:AllmyfriendsNevineandRanaandSandra99allnottakeitthePE100OnlymeandAlex[extensivelaughter] 101K:[Laughing]That’sabigproblem!

3. NourBadCSSS61 K:…Socanyouchoosewhotoworkwith2 ordoestheteacherchoosewhoyouworkwith?3 No:Nonoyouchoose.Freedom4 K:Soyoucanchoosethegirlswho=5 No:=Yeahbutnewstudent6 Idon’tknowthegirlwithme7 who’stheworkornotwork8 she’sseriousornotseriousIdon’tknow9 butItellher(APSteacher)“Iwantaloneworkinallthepresentations”10 butshetellmemaybeIlose3marks11 (K:ifyouworkalone)yes12 It’sarule.Shetellmelikethat13 “therule4maximum5studentsworktogether

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14 Onestudentwanttoworkalone15 OKshelose2or3marks”likethat16 K:Youtoldmebeforethatyouliketoworkinagroup17 rememberyoutoldmethat?(No:yah)18 Notalone[laughs]remember?19 Butnowyousaid=20 No:=Ichangemymindreally.21 IwriteinmyBlackberry[laughs]22 Ichangemindreally23 becausebeforeIwanttoworktogetheringroup24 butnowafter[toS]ayshaqūltajrubah(howdoyousay‘experience’)25 (K:youcansayitinArabic)26 Beforethe[stumbling]expectationorsomethinglikethat27 Ichangemind28 becausenotallinthegroupworktogether(K:yes)29 Somestudentreallygototheseagotofun30 gointherestaurant31 and(I)workalone32 (K:Yeahit’snotfair)33 YahIdolikethisinC.S.(ComputerStudies)34 Iworkonmagazine(K:research?)35 yesIworkaloneallthisone36 IsendittoBlackboard37 Shetellme“Nourallthestudents,notme,sendbefore12OKIaccept38 After12youlose1mark”39 Itellher“OK,Isentit11.5840 only2minutesyaʿnīfīwaqt(sothere’sstilltime)41 Itdon’tarrivebecauseIdon’tknowproblemmaybe12and2042 or15minutes43 andIlost2marksme44 andallstudentsfullmarks.(K:Why)45 Igoandaskherlikethat[indignant]“Why(P)46 Iworkmyselfnotallstudents47 Allstudentstakeitfullmark48 andme,notfair.”49 Shetellme“2marks?50 What’swrongNour”51 Itellher“because2marksisbigthing”52 Butallstudentsreallysleeping53 gointheseagointherestaurant54 Istayinmyhome55 writethehomework(K:yes)56 nothomeworklikeproject57 formid-term20marks58 K:It’sveryimportant59 No:Yes.Itellher“Infinalexam20andinthis1860 20goodIacceptmymarks”61 Shetellme“OKwhyyouangry”62 Itellher“BecauseIamdoingallofthismyself”

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63 K:Soallthegrouptheygetthesamegrade?64 No:Yeahallthegrouptheytakeit2065 me18(K:Isee)66 becauseshetellme:67 “YousentitinBlackboardyou”68 K:SodoyouallputitonBlackboard?69 No:Nothereisoneingroup70 liketheadvisorthegroupsendit71 K:Sowhytheothersgotafullmark72 No:Becauseshe’stellmelikethat73 she’sopinion,tellme74 “maybethisstudentshesendearly75 butyouNouryou’relazy76 soyousenditlate”77 Itellher[weakly]“No”78 K:Whatprojectisthis79 No:ProjectforCS80 Itellher“OK”[dejected]81 K:Sothat’saproblemisn’tit82 No:ButI’mfeelsad83 SoItellhernowinAPS84 “PleaseIwanttoworkalone”85 Shetellme“Maybeyoulose2marks86 or3marksyouworkingalone87 Worktogether”88 SoIchoosesomestudent89 ThisisinshāʾAllāhgood

4. NourStudyAbroadSS2/Group-2

(1)K:Can’tyoubegoodatEnglishandliveandstudyinSaudiArabia?

(2)S:Maybe.

(3)No:Nonono.

(4)K:Whatdoyouthink

(5)No:OhnobecausebetweenArabicandEnglishbutinAmericaonlyEnglish(K:Yes)Imusttalktosomebodyoutsideorinsideorcallhimanywhere.ItoldhiminEnglishonly.Becausethestudybetter.

(6)K:Whereisitbetter

(7)No:InAmericabetter.

(8)S:Nohereit’sbetterbecausehere[laughs]=

(9)No:{It’sdifficult}

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(10)S:{because}hereyouspeakalittlebitofArabicandthen[laughs]butthereyoumustguessthiswordwhatit’smean.Maybeyougetthemeaninginthewrongwaylikethat.(No:Nono)Buthere{Ifeelit’s,there}

(11)No:[Forcefully]No.}MycousinstudyhereEnglishLiteratureal-bakalūrīās(bachelors)finished,vacation,buthecannotonesentencehetellme.(K:Hecan’tspeak?)Yeah.

(12)S:Yeah{buttheteaching—

(13)No:{ButafterthathegotoAmerica3monthsnowmāshāʾAllāhhecan’tstopter-ter-ter-ter[laughs]

(14)Ne:[Quietly]mūsharṭ(Notnecessarily)

(15)S:{Heresometimesthestudyisverybad.

(16)No:{lākaslān(No,he’slazy)taʿrifīal-awlādkaslānīn(youknowtheboysthey’relazy).(Ne:basyaʿnī(ButImean))yiḥfaẓūyiktabūkhalāṣwāyirjaʿū=(Theymemorizethentheywriteandthat’sallandtheycomebackto=).

(17)S:=OKyāḥabībī(Okmydear)

(18)Ne:[quietly}mūsharṭ.lammāanākuntfīAmrīkāfīnāsyaʿnīʿārifahyidrisūEnglishcoursesmumkin3yearsṭayib?(Notnecessarily.WhenIwasinAmericatherewerepeopleyouknowtakingEnglishcoursesforabout3yearsOK?).tijilisīmaʿaal-waladmāyaʿrifmarrayitkallamwāllāhyaʿrifyuktubwāllāhyaʿrifyaqrāʾ(Yousitwiththeboyhedoesn’tknowhowtospeakorhowtowriteorhowtoread)bīthalāthahsinīnyʾākhudhTOEFLtakhayal(in3yearstheytaketheTOEFLjustimagine).

(19)No:Ahhūwahināhinākmumkinbas—(Hewashereandwenttheremaybejustto—)

(20)Ne:lāhināk.mūsharṭ(Nohewasthere.It’snotnecessarilytrue).aḥisūhadhātonguemūeducation(Ifeelthatistonguenoteducation).

(21)No:hūwaaqūlikʿashānrāḥyishtaghilhinākaghaṣbānʿannūyitaʿllamal-lughahbashunāakhadhal-bakalūrīāswāmāaḥibhā(TheoneI’mtellingyouit’sbecausehewenttoworktherehehadnochoicebuttolearnthelanguagebutherehedidhisbachelor’sdegreebutdidn’tlikeit).

(22)Ne:fīal-nihāyāhiyā(That’sattheend).

(23)K:Ordoyouthinkit’ssomethingtodowithsomepeoplearegoodatlanguages?SomepeoplefinditeasytolearnEnglish.Somepeoplefinditdifficulttolearn.Isitanatural=

(24)No:=Somepeople=

(25)Ne:=Yeahthat’swhatI’mtalkingaboutrightnow.

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(26)S:=YouknowbeforeIseetheFrenchisveryeasyandbeforeIwasreallyhatetheEnglish.

(27)No:Yeah.SomestudentshatetheEnglish.

(28)K:Really?Why

(29)No:{Becausetheythinkit’sdifficult.

(30)S:{IthinktheFrenchiseasiermorethanEnglish.

(31)K:Theythinkit’sdifficult.

(32)No:DifficultyeahandIcan’tIcan’t.Hemindlikethat.Icannotdoingandstopmind.

5. NourEnglishforSecretsSS2/Group-2

(1)K:Whataboutgirls(2)S:ThegirlinSauditheyliketostudybutnotjustEnglishyʿanīthey—(3)No:[Laughs]Theylikestories.(4)S:Theylikelearnmorethings.Buttheboyshereno.TheyaremāshāʾAllāhloserveryloser[alllaugh](5)K:[Laughs]They’relosers?(6)S:māshāʾAllāh.(7)No:Somegirlstheyneedtakethelanguagebutitisforsecretwiththefriendsonly[laughs].Sheneedlikethat.(8)K:Ohforsecrets?[Alllaugh](9)S:Forsecrets.(10)No:Yeahandthegirl’sfamilyshecannotunderstand[laughs]thelanguage.Yeahmaybesheusethephoneorthecomputer

(11)K:SosheonlyspeaksEnglish?(12)No:YeahEnglishorFrench.ButnotIwanttheEnglishlanguageorIwanttheFrenchlanguageno.(13)K:Soshe’snotseriouslikeIwantitformyjobor—(14)No,S:Nono[laughing](15)K:Forsecretsthat’sinteresting!(16)S:MeandmycousinwealwaysjustdecidehowwecanlearnlikeMexicanlanguage.(17)K:Spanish.InMexicotheyspeakSpanish.

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(18)S:Yeah.Theysaythislanguageishardforourfamily.Theywillfindithardbecausetheydon’tknowwhatisthislanguage.Theywilljustlookfornoproblemthislanguageisveryfaryaʿnī.AndsometimesIfeelIwillinshāʾAllāh.

(19)No:Ihavealovelystory,Ihavemyfriend—[SandrastartstalkingtoNevineinArabic](20)K:Yes.Ilikestories.SandraNevineshe’stellingusastory.(21)No:[laughsshyly]SheneedtostudyinEnglishbutinsecretbecauseit’sherboyfriendbuthermother—

(22)S:Who(23)No:ṣadīqātīfilmadrasah(myfriendatschool)intermediateschool[laughs](K:OK)butwiththeboyfriendtogethertheystudytheEnglish[laughs].Everydayhetalkedtoherinmobile.She’smother[laughs]—

(24)S:Hermother.(25)No:HermothergoandstudyEnglish[laughs].(26)K:[Laughs]HermotheralsowenttostudyEnglish.(27)No:Yeah.Shelistenandlistenandlistenbutshecannotknowwhattalktheboy[laughingsomuchshecanhardlyspeaknow]

(28)K:Sothat’sareasontostudyEnglishtocheckonyourdaughter.(29)No:Yes.[No,Ne&Klaughtogether](30)S:Nowāllāhi(Iswear)whenIwilldecide(SandracontinuestalkingtoNevineinArabic)(31)No:kānatmakhṭūbah(Shewasengaged).(32)K:Ohtheygotmarriedafter?(33)No:Yeah,theygot—(34)K:Engaged.[Sandra&NevinetalkinArabic&laugh](35)No:Engagedandafterthatmarried.After2monthsmarried.

6. NourDaughter’sFutureSS6

1.K:OK,andwhatdoyouwishforyourdaughterafter5years.2.What’sthebestforyourdaughter.3.No:Iwantshe’slearningbetter4.andshegointheniceschool5internationalofcourse6.becausegoodthelanguageininternational.7.Iseethatstudentmaybe16or17,18or19years8.she’sbetter(than)me

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9.becauseshe’sstudyininternationalschool10.butexpensiveIcannotnow11.butafterthatmaybeIfixingmylife12.Ifixingmydaughterlife.13.K:Sowhatdoyouwanthertobe14.Whatkindofworkdoyouwanthertodo15.No:Iwantshe’scomfortablewithanything16.Shedoesn’tneedanybody17.K:independent=18.No:=yes.Iwantshehasbetterlife(than)me.19.K:DoyouwanthertolivehereinSaudi20.ordoyouwanthertoexperienceotherplaces?21.No:[weakly]Nonoshe’slivehere.22.K:You’llbehappyforhertolivehere23.No:Yes.Withmyfamilyyes.24.K:Andwouldyoulikehertotravel?25.No:YesIwanttobutIcannotnow.26.MaybeafterthatinshāʾAllāh27.K:You’dlikeyourdaughtertotravel?28.No:YesIwanttotravelEnglandorAmerica29.oranyplace30.maybeTurkīāorEgypt31.butIcannotnow[withalittlelaugh]32.maybeafter33.becausesheseeanothercountry34.shegetopenmind35.sheknowsthehistoryhereandhistoryhere36.andfamousplace37.thepyramidsinEgypt38.shehavestory39.she’stellsomestudentsinschool40.“YesIgoinhereandIgoinhere”41.butshe’snogo[smalllaugh]inanyplace42.onlylikeChuckyCheese43.orMcDonaldsorthepark44.maybehavelittlestory45.K:youwanttoexpandherknowledge46.No:yesyes!47.K:Butifshegoestointernationalschool48.willyoubeworried49.thatherArabicmaybewon’tbeverygood?=50.No:=Noshe’snow51.maybeafter5yearsIdunno52.maybe5yearsmaybe6years53.maybelessmaybemore54.IdunnobutinshāʾAllāh55.She’snow(in)governmentschool56.shetakeitmoreArabic57.Afterthatmaybegointheinternational

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58.intermediateorhighschool(K:yes)59.she’sboth60.she’shaveArabicandhaveEnglish61K:yesthat’sgood62.No:yesinshāʾAllāh

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APPENDIXDNevine’sSmallStories

1. NevineExplainingherRoleinActivity1PA1

1K:Sointheactivityyoudidwhatdidyoudoexactly2 Likedidyoudiscusswiththegroupdidyouact?3 Tellmealittleaboutwhatyoudid4Ne:Ijustdidtheexplanationforthesocialproblem5 Iwrotetheexplanation6 Iexplainedfortheinstructor7 andtheyacted.8K:Soyoudidn’ttalktotheothergirlsinyourgroup?9Ne:Yeahwedidactuallytogether10K:That’swhatI’maskingyou11Ne:Yeswediscussedtheideastogether12 andIgavethemtheexplanation13 Theyareacting.14K:Alrightsoyoudidn’tact?15Ne:No.16K:Whynot17Ne:Idon’tknow18 Theyareactors[laughs]19K:Sorry?20Ne:Theyarechoosing21K:OKsowhenyouwerediscussing22 didyouspeakmostlyinEnglishorArabic?23Ne:Ahsomestudentsdidn’tunderstandEnglishsometimes24 soIhavetospeakArabicthat’swhy25K:SodoyouspeakArabicsometimestothem?26Ne:Here?27K:Yeah28Ne:SometimesbutwhenIwasintheothersection29 mysectioncauseweare2sectionsmixedtogether30 Iwasintheothersection31 Mysectiontheyare32 therewasn’talotofgirlsspeakArabic(English)33 sothat’swhyIwasexplainingmore.34K:AhsoyouwerespeakingmoreEnglishthere?35 SowhydoyouspeakmoreArabic36Ne:Causeintheothersectiontherewerealotofbeginnergirls37 Theydon’tunderstandEnglishwellthat’swhy.38K:[withconfusedexpression]OhsoyouspokemoreArabic?39Ne:Yeahwejustmixedthelastweek.40K:OKsowhat’sthedifferencebetweenthesections41Ne:Myold(new)sectionwasspeakingEnglishmorethantheothers42 Theothersectiontheydidn’tspeakEnglishwell43 buttheydidunderstandsometimes44K:OKsoinyourgroup45whowereyouworkingwithtoday

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46Ne:Ah.Err(P)47K:Becausethey’renewtoyou.NourIthink.48Ne:[Slowly]NourandSandraandAlexandra49K:Sowhatdideverybodydo50 Doyouthinkyoudidmostofthetalking?51 Howdidyousharethe{responsibilities}52Ne:{AhNourgaveus}thestory53 andSandraandAlexactedtheplay[laughs]54K:Andwhataboutyou55Ne:I’mjustexplainingtotheteacher.56K: OK.NowInoticedthatNourspeaksquitealotinclassdoesn’tshe?57Ne:Thegirlinfrontofme?58K:YesNourwiththeredtop59Ne:Yahyah60K:Shespeaksquitealot61butquitealotofitisArabic.62Ne:Yah.63K:Sowhyisthat64Ne:Becauseshe’sabeginnerinEnglish65 andshedidn’tunderstandEnglishwellthat’swhy66 Shejustlearned=67K:=Sodoyoufeelthatyou’reabeginner?68Ne:[withsurprise]Me?Idon’tknow[laughs].69 I’minthemiddle.70K: Inthemiddle.Soyou’requitegoodintheclass=71Ne:=yeah72K:Sowhatdidyouthinkofthisactivitytoday73Wasituseful?74Ne:Yeahitwasuseful.75K:Why76Ne:Causeithelpsthestudenttobuildourvocabulary77 andbuildtheEnglishlanguageaswell78K:OKandwhataboutworkinginagroup79 Doyoupreferworkinginagroup?80Ne:Yesliketosharetheideas81 and(P)that’sall82K:Didyouenjoytheactivity?83Ne:MmmIdid.84K:Why85Ne:[Laughs]CauseI’mwithmyfriends86 andwewerehavingfunalso87K:Whatdidyoulearndoyouthink88 Didyoulearnanythingnew?89Ne:Erm(P)justtoberesponsiblemore90 moreresponsiblewiththesocialproblems91 that’sall.

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2. NevineEscapeSS5

1K:AndtellmeaboutyourstudiessofarintheUniversity2 Doyoufeelit’sbetterthanthePP?3 Areyoulearningmorethings?4Ne:YeahI’mlearningmorethings5 butyouknoweverything’sgettingalittlemorecomplicatedrightnow6K:Morecomplicated?7Ne:Yeah.Igotalotofcourses8 thatIdidn’twanttotakethem9 likeBiologyMathComputerScience10 It’sverydifficultforme11 aswellArabicasaSecondLanguage12K:Yeahsowhichsubjectsareyouenjoying13 Areyouenjoyinganything?14Ne:TheACS15K:TheACS16 Anddoyouthinkyou’relearningintheACSclass?17AreyoulearningmoreEnglishthere?18Ne:Yeahthat’sabsolutelysure[laughs]19K:Isthatgoingtohelpyou20 whenyougotoAmericadoyouthink21Ne:Yeahabsolutely22K:AndwhataboutsocializingintheUniversity23Haveyoumadenewfriendsthere?24Ne:Nono[laughs]25K:Really?26Ne:[laughing]Yeah.27K:BecauseNoursayswheneversheseesyouintheuniversity28you’realwayswithfriends[laughs]29Ne:No.It’snottrueI’msure.30K:[Laughs]Shesaid“WhenNevinefirstcametothePP31shewasalwaysalone32 andgraduallyshegotmoreandmorefriends33andnowshe’salwayswithfriends”[laughs]34 Isthattrue?35Ne:No.36K:Sowhoareyourfriendsnow37Ne:NourandLamaandAlex38thesameyouknowasinthePP39K:Really?40Ne:Thesamegirls41K:Whatabouttheteachers42 Howdoyougetonwiththeteachers43Ne:They’renotallgood.44K:Whichonesdoyoufinddifficult45andwhichonesarenice46Ne:Difficult?TheMathteacherandtheComputerteacher47he’sveryverystrict.

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48K:Really?49Ne:He’sdifficultandboring50Everything,ahorriblecourse.…

51K:Doyoufindthere’salotmorework52intheuniversitythaninthePP?53Ne:Yeahalotmore54K:Doyouhavealotmorehomework?55Ne:Yeah56K:Howmanyhours57doyouworkroughlyeverynight58Ne:Maybefrom5pmtill10pm.59K:That’salot60Ne:[Laughs]Iknow.61K:Sohowwerethemid-termtests62Ne:Itwasn’tverygood63 TheMathitwasn’tverygood64IdidverywellintheACS65K:Right66Ne:AndintheIslamicaswellandBiology67 ExcepttheMathandComputerScience68Theyweren’tgood.69K:HowistheIslamicstudiesgoing70Ne:It’snotverygoodbutit’snothard71K:AlexsaysherIslamicteacher72usesverydifficultEnglishwords73Doyouhavehim?74Ne:YeahI’mwithherinthesameclass75K:Shehasaproblem76Ne:NowhenItoldyouIhaveaproblem77Ididn’tmeanwiththemanwhoteachesme78Imeanthecourseisnotgood.…

79K:AretheinstructorshelpfullikeinthePP?80Ne:Notheyarenotsohelpful81K:Ifyouhaveaproblemsaywithyourhomework82 canyougoandseetheinstructor?83Ne:Nonotallthetimes84K:Thatmakesitabitharddoesn’tit?85Ne:Yeah,that’stheproblemwiththecollege86soIdecidedtoleavetotheStates87causereallyIcancompletemy…[Soundtapersoff

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3. NevineTeasingNevineSS2/Group-2

(1)K:…[ToS&No]SohowisNevine’sArabic,doyoufeelit’sthesameasall

thegirls?=

(2)S:=Nomaybewhenshespeakshespeaklikeyouknowthemaidswhenshedoesspeak

[Everyoneburstsoutlaughing](3)Ne:[Laughingloudly]yāwaylīk(I’mwarningyou!)(4)S:wāllāh(Really!)Shespeaklikethem.AlsowhenshetranslatessomethingsometimesIthink—

[Neisinhysterics](5)K:Andshe(Sandra)laughsatmewhenIspeakArabic.[Nevinecontinueslaughing](6)S:AreyousurethatisArabic?Andherhandwritingwāllāh(really)she,sometimesyaʿnīIfeelmymaidshe=

(7)No:[Laughing]=khalāṣ(That’senough!)(8)S:Mymaidshespeaksbetterandshewritebetter.NoNevinenoshe’s=(9)K:=She’swhat(10)S:She’sbad.She’sbad.(11)Ne:yāwaylī(I’mdonefor)(12)K:Ohmygoodness!Nourwhatdoyousay

(13)No:Nosomewordsit’sgood.[Alllaughingstill]ButsomewordsIthink{maybeshe’sAmerican}.

(14)S:{Inanormalway}Inanormalwayshecanspeakwell(K:yes)butinArabicin=(15)Ne:=likeArabictheformallanguage.(16)K:ClassicalArabic?(17)Ne:YesClassical.(18)S:Ou-u!(19)Ne:[laughing]Horrible

(20)S:ReallyIthinkwemustmakeanewlanguageforNevineand[Nourlaughs]wewanttomakeabookforthislanguagewāllāh(really).[Nevineisstilllaughing]

(21)K:[laughs]ButyoufinishedSaudischooldidn’tyou?(22)Ne:YeahbutIwasinanAmericanschoolaninternationalschool(23)K:ItwasinternationalsoeverythingwasinEnglishyeah?

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(24)Ne:Yeah.(25)K:Sothat’swhyOK.Butfromwhatagedidyougototheinternationalschool?(26)Ne:KG1KG2(27)K:Rightsoyoudidn’tgotoanySaudischools?(28)Ne:IwasstudyingIslamicStudiesbutalittlebit(29)K:SoArabicwasmorelikeaforeignlanguage?Soofcourseherexperienceexplainsit

(30)S:OKmissbutyoualso(31)K:MyArabicisnotgood.[Alllaugh](32)S:Let’shearyou.Wejustlisten[the3laugh]TellusastoryinArabic.(33)K:lāmāaʿrif(NoIdon’tknow)[Nevinelaughsoutloud]

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APPENDIXEFormsandInterviewQuestions

1.ParticipantInformationSheet(distributedinEnglishandArabic)

AResearchProjectontheExperienceofLearningEnglishinSaudiArabia(February-April2012)

InformationforStudentParticipants

MynameisMrsKathyKentandIamaresearcherfromtheUniversityofLondonworkingtowardsmyPhD.Thisleaflettellsyouaboutmyresearch.IhopeitwillbeusefulandIwouldbehappytoansweranyquestionsyouhave.Whyistheresearchbeingdone?SoIcanfindoutabouttheclassroomEnglishlearningexperienceofSaudifemalestudentsatschoolandatuniversity.Whowillbeintheproject?Myparticipantswillbe5or6youngadultfemalelearnersdoingacourseofstudyinEnglishatSharifaPP.ParticipantsshouldhavecompletedtheirstudiesatapublicorprivateSaudischoolandbeabletocommunicatetheirideasinEnglish.Whatwillhappenduringtheresearch?IwillaskyoutotellmeaboutyourpastexperiencelearningEnglishinSaudiintermediateschoolandhighschool,yourpresentexperienceatSharifaPPsofarandyourplansandgoalsforfuturelearning.Iwouldalsoliketoobserveyouworkingonsomeclassactivitiesandthentalktoyouaboutwhathappenedduringtheactivity.Ourinterviewsshouldlastabout45minutesandtakeplaceaboutonceeverytwoweeks.Ifyouagree,Iwillrecordtheactivitiesandtheinterviewsandtypethemuplater.Iamnotlookingforrightorwronganswers,onlyforwhateveryonethinks.WewilluseEnglishfortheinterviewsbutyoumayuseArabicifyoucan’tthinkofasuitableEnglishwordorphrase.

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2.ParticipantConsentForm

STUDENTCONSENTFORM(inArabic)

ANINVESTIGATIONOFLANGUAGELEARNEREXPERIENCE(January-May2012)

Ihaveunderstoodtheinformationabouttheresearch._________PleaseTickIwillallowtheresearchertoobservemeinclass._________PleaseTickIagreetobeinterviewed._________PleaseTickIwillallowtheresearchertoaudio-recordmeinclassandduringinterviews._________PleaseTickIunderstandthatIcanwithdrawfromtheresearchatanytime._________PleaseTickIunderstandthattakingpartintheresearchwillnotaffectmygrades._________PleaseTickNAME__________________________________________________SIGNED_________________________________________________

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3.BiodataFormBIODATA

(PleasefilloutinEnglish)NAME__________________________________________________________AGE__________________________________________________________NATIONALITY__________________________________________________________NATIONALITYOFPARENTS__________________________________________________________HAVEYOULIVEDINSAUDIARABIAALLYOURLIFE?________________PLEASEGIVEDETAILS._______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________SCHOOLFORHOWMANYYEARSDIDYOUATTENDSCHOOLINSAUDIARABIA?__________________________________________________________________PLEASESPECIFYTHETYPEOFSCHOOL(S)YOUATTENDED(Government,Private,International)ANDTHEGRADES(SchoolYears)YOUCOMPLETEDINEACHTYPE.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________WHENDIDYOUSTARTLEARNINGENGLISHATSCHOOL?______________________________________________________________________________DIDYOUDOANYENGLISHCOURSESOUTSIDESCHOOLDURINGYOURSCHOOLYEARS?IFSO,PLEASEGIVEDETAILS.____________________________________________________________________SHARIFAAREYOUASTUDENTATTHEPPORATTHEUNIVERSITY?__________________________________________________________INWHICHCOLLEGEAREYOUSTUDYING?_________________________HOWLONGHAVEYOUSTUDIEDATSHARIFA?GIVEDETAILS____________________________________________________________________________

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4.InformalInterviewQuestionsInformalInterviewPleasespeakfreelyandopenlyandifyoucan’tsayitinEnglish,sayitinArabic.LifeHistoryTellmealittleaboutyourself.Wheredoyoulive?Whatdoyourparentsdo?Howmanybrothersandsisters?Whatdotheydo?Whospeaks/hasstudiedinEnglishinyourfamily?GoalsandMotivesDoyoufeelmotivatedgenerallytolearnEnglish?Why/Whynot?Whatareyourfutureplans?Yourpersonalgoals?Yourprofessional/studygoals?DoyouneedEnglishtoachievethesepersonal/study/workgoals?Ifso,whatlevelandskill?WhatdoyouthinkisthebestwayforyoutolearnmoreEnglish?School-GeneralWhendidyougraduatefromhighschool?Didyouenjoyschool?Whatdidyoumostenjoy/dislike?Describeyourselfasastudent.Tellmeastoryaboutschooleg.somethingthathappenedintheclassroomorbetweenyouandaparticularteacher.School-EnglishWhendidyoustartlearningEnglish?DidyoulikeEnglishthen?HowdidyourateyourselfasastudentofEnglish?WhohelpedyoulearnEnglishmostofall?HowhaveyoulearntmostoftheEnglishyouknow?SharifaTellmeaboutyourexperienceadjustingtouniversitylife.Whatmajorareyoustudyingordoyouintendtostudy?WhydoyouneedtoimproveyourEnglish?AreyouhappywithyourEnglishlearningsofaratSharifa?HowdoyourateyourselfasastudentofEnglishatSharifa?WhatdoyouthinkyoustillhavetolearnregardingEnglishinordertodowellatuniversity?WillyourEnglishlearningcontinueafteruniversity?How?

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5. FirstSemi-StructuredInterviewQuestionsStudentsemi-structuredInterview1(SS1)Checksomeitemsfrominformalinterviewtoclarify.

Ireallyenjoyedtalkingtoyoulast_____.Youtoldmeaboutyourbackgroundand

howEnglishfitswithyourpersonalandstudentgoals.TodayI’lllikeyoutotell

memoreaboutyourexperienceoflearningEnglishwhileyouwereatschool

andsincecomingtothePPbothinsideandoutsidetheclassroom.Remember

youcanuseArabicifyoucan’tthinkofthewordsinEnglish.

GeneralquestionsaboutEnglish:

1. YousaidthatimprovingyourEnglishisimportantforyoutoachieve

yourgoals.DoyouthinkmostyoungwomeninSaudiArabiafeelthe

sameway?

2. DoyouthinklearningmoreEnglishandstudyinginEnglishhasaneffect

onyourArabic?Onyourculture?

GeneralquestionsaboutlearningEnglish:

1. WhereisthebestplacetolearnEnglish?Thebestsituation?

2. ImaginethatIwasastudentwhowantstolearnEnglishinJeddah.What

advicewouldyougiveme?

3. WhathaveyoufoundtobethebestwaysoflearningEnglish?

4. Arethereotherwaysyou’dliketotrywhichyouthinkmightworkfor

you?

5. CanyoudescribeformeyourideaofagoodEnglishteacher?Agood

Englishlearner?

EnglishatSchool:

1. Let’sgobacktotheperiodbeforehighschool.Tellmealittleaboutyour

experience.DidyouenjoyEnglish?Why/Whynot?Inwhatwaysdidyou

learnintheclassroom?Outsidetheclassroom?Anysignificantperson?

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2. NowcouldyoutellmeaboutyourexperienceoflearningEnglishathigh

school.Wasitdifferentinanyway?Howdidtheteacherteach?Didyou

learnfromher?How?/Whynot?DidyouwanttolearnmoreEnglish?

Why/Whynot?Howdidyoulearnoutsidetheclassroom?Howmuchdid

youknowwhenyougraduated?

EnglishatSharifaPP:

1. TellmealittleaboutyourfirstexperiencesinPP1.Whatdidyouexpect?

Howdidyouadjustinthebeginning?

2. DidyouachievewhatyouhopedinPP1?Howcouldyouhavedone

better?

3. DidyoufeelcomfortablewiththeotherstudentsinyourclassinPP1?

4. ThinkingaboutlearningEnglishspecifically,howwastheclassroom

experiencedifferentfromschool?

5. Howaretheteachingmethods/yourrelationshipwithyourteacher

differentfromhighschool?

6. Whatareyourresponsibilitiesasalearnerhere?

7. Whichclassactivitiesorlearningtasksdoyouthinkhelpedyoulearn

Englishmost?

8. Didyouhaveanydifficulties?

9. NowyouareinPP2hasanythingchanged?

10. Doyoufeelyouhaveimprovedsincethebeginningofthesemester?In

whatway?

11. Whichactivitieshavebeenmostinterestingoruseful?

12. Doyoulikeparticipatinginclass?Ifso,how?Ifnot,whynot?

13. WhatwouldyouliketodomoreofinEnglishclasse.g.grammar,reading

etc.?Why?

14. Doyoulikeworkingonyourownorwithyourclassmates?

15. IfaPP1studentasksyouhowshecouldbeabetterlearner,whatwould

youtellher?

16. DoyoulearnEnglishout-of-classatSharifa?Ifso,how?

17. PleasetellmeaboutyourEnglishlearningexperiencesoutsidecampus.

387

6 TheGELLsheet(distributedinEnglishandArabic)

WhichabilitiesandqualitiesshouldyouhavetobeaGOODENGLISHLANGUAGELEARNER?

IntelligentHaveaspecialtalentMotivatedChancetopractiseEnglishHaveagoodmemoryActiveAgoodlistenerStudyhardAgoodcommunicatorSelf-confidentLikeyourteacherLearnaboutthecultureWell-organisedSelf-disciplinedCommittedLikereadingChoose10oftheaboveabilities/qualitiesandratetheminorderofimportancewith1beingthemostimportant.Pleaseexplainwhyyouchosethoseyoudidasimportantandwhysomearenotsoimportant.Pleaseaddanyqualities/abilitiesyouthinkareimportanttobeingasuccessfullearnerofEnglish.YOUMAYWRITEINARABICORENGLISHORINAMIXTUREOFBOTHENGLISHANDARABIC.

388

APPENDIXFParticipantNarratives(basedonBiodataandInformal Interview)1.Alex

Alexandra(Alex)was19yearsoldatthebeginningoftheresearchprojectand

atthebeginningofthesecondsemesterofthepreparatoryprogramme.

AlthoughAlexandraandhermotherwereborninJeddahandhavelivedhereall

theirlives,Alex’sparentsareJordanian-Palestinianbynationality.Herfather

workswithateamoflawyers,oneofwhomisAmerican,althoughheisnota

lawyerhimself.HespeaksEnglishwellbuthermotherdoesn’tspeakEnglishat

allanddoesn’tworkoutsidethehome.Alexistheeldestof3siblings,asister

and2brothers,whoallattendschool.

AlexcompletedPP1intheHumanitiessectioninthefirstsemesterandisnow

inPP2.ShewantstomajorinEnglishandTranslation.Herparentsdidnot

encouragehertostudythissubjectatthebeginning,astheydidn’tthinkher

Englishwasgoodenough,butareimpressedwithherexcellentgradessofar

andhavechangedtheirminds.Shelovestranslationandwouldliketoworkasa

translatorinabigcompany.Whenshefinishesuniversityshehopestogeta

master’sdegreeinEnglishandTranslationfromSharifa,butsheisnotsureif

theyofferthis.

AlexsaysitisimportanttolearnEnglishasitisa2ndlanguageinSaudiArabia

anditisamethodofcommunicating.Forexampleyoucancommunicatewith

FrenchpeopleinJeddahwhoknowEnglish.UsingtheInterneteffectivelyisa

measureofsuccessmorethanstudyingEnglishandspeakingactivitiesinclass.

ToimproveyourEnglishyoushouldgetteacherstohelpyou,sheadvises,read

more,listenmoreandwatchEnglishmovieswithoutArabicsubtitles.

Alexgraduatedfromhighschoollastsummer.SheattendedonlySaudi

governmentschoolsatelementary,intermediateandsecondarylevel.She

missesherschoolfriendsalot:shehadaclosegroupoffriendstherewhoused

tosharesecrets.ShedoesnotfeelcomfortablearoundthegirlsatSharifaand

hasnoclosefriends.

389

AtschoolshewasaseriousstudentbutshehatedChemistry.Shebeganlearning

Englishin7thgradebutclaims:“Iwasn’tintelligentinEnglish”.Therewasn’t

enoughEnglishatschoolandshedidn’tlearnmuch.Shegotgoodgradesin

Englishexaminationsastheyhadtolearnaparagraphbyheartandshecould

studyforit.Sheusedtoscore97%butknewthatthisdidn’tmeanshewasgood

atEnglish.ApartfromschoolAlexhasneverdoneanyEnglishcourses.

Atschoolshedidn’ttalkmuch,exceptwithherfriends,butatthePPshetalks

muchmoreastheyareencouragedtousetheirmindsandtoexpresstheir

opinions.ShefounditquiteeasytoadjusttolifeatSharifaafterschool:the

teachersareverygoodandsupportive,butifshehadaclosefriendshewould

likeitmore.Sheconsidersherselftobeaverygoodstudentingeneralat

Sharifa:sheunderstandseverythingandwritesdownandlearnsnewwords.

Sheregularlyscores92%ontests.

Alexpreferstoworkalonealthoughtheteachersusuallyencouragestudentsto

workwithagroup.Shesaysshedoesn’tlikeworkingwithagroupasthe

weakerstudentstendtodependonher.However,sheacceptsthatshedid

learnalotofEnglishthroughfriendswhoweremoreproficientandfromher

fatherwhospeaksEnglishwell.

OnemethodwhichAlexusestolearnmoreEnglishistotalktoherselfandshe

doesthisalot,especiallyinfrontofthemirror.Sheimaginesthatsheis

speakingtosomeone.Shealsore-readsandtranslatestheEnglishshehas

studiedthatdayatthePP.Shethinksthatshehasimprovedherspeakinga

littlesincestartingatSharifabutneedstolearnmorevocabularyinordertodo

wellatuniversity.ShewasrecentlyatalectureaboutIslamintheWorldheldat

theUniversityHallandgivenbyawell-knownprofessor.Shewasn’tableto

understandmuchasheuseddifficultwordsandshefeltratherfrustratedwhen

theprofessormadeajoke,whichshedidn’tunderstand,andtheaudience

laughed.

390

2.Sandra

Sandrawas19yearsoldatthebeginningoftheresearchperiod.Bothher

parentsareSaudi.ShewasborninthesouthofSaudiArabia.Herparentsgot

divorcedwhenshewas5yearsoldandthenshewenttolivefirstwithher

grandparentsfor3yearsandthenwithherfatherinAbhafor6years.Shewas

unhappylivingwithherfatherbecauseherstepmotherwas“offensive”toher.

Shenowliveswithhermother,whospeakssomeEnglish,andherstepfather

whospeaksEnglishwell.Hermotherhas2daughtersandonesonwithher

stepfather(sincewritingthisnarrativehermotherhasgivenbirthtoababy

boy)andherfatherhas2sonsand1daughterwithherstepmother.Shefeels

thatsheisnotclosetoeitherofherparents.Sheisclosertoher2uncleswho

are35and40yearsold.Shealsoadmireshergrandfatherbecauseofhischarity

worksuchasbuildinghomesforpoorpeople.Sheremembershergrandmother

alsowithaffection,whodiedwhenshewas8.

Sandragraduatedfromhighschoollastsummer.ShecompletedPP1atSharifa

PPintheFallSemesterandsheispresentlyinPP2,Humanitiessection.She

wantstostudyEnglishandTranslationatSharifaUniversity.Sheenjoys

learninglanguagesandseesitasherfavouritehobby.Shewouldliketolearn

GermanandFrenchinadditiontoEnglish.HerpassionisPsychologybutshe

hasdecidedtostudythesubjectonherown.

Herpersonalgoalistobeagoodpersonandhelpothersespeciallythepoor.She

wantstobefriendswithpeopleofallnationalities.Apersonalreasonfor

wantingtoimproveherEnglishisthatheruncleswholiveintheUSwillbe

returningtoSaudiArabiain5yearsandtheydon’tspeakanyArabic.Shewould

liketodofurtherstudiesinPsychologyaftergraduatingfromuniversity.This

willhavetobeinSaudiArabiaasshedoesn’thaveanyonetoaccompanyher

abroad.ShefirststartedreadingaboutPsychologybecauseshewashopingto

gethelpwithherownproblems.Hermotiveforadvancedstudiesisthatshe

wantstohelpotherstocopewithsimilarproblemsshe’shad.

391

ShestartedlearningEnglishwhenshewasaround5:shehadaFilipinonanny

whilelivingwithherfatherwhospoketoherinEnglish.Shedidn’tlikeEnglish

whenshewasatschoolanddidn’tlearnmuchbecausetheteachersonlyspoke

Arabicanddidn’thelpherimprove.MostofherEnglishshelearntfromher

uncles,oneofwhomspeaksGerman,FrenchandsomeHindi.Sandrastarted

learningEnglishformallyinKindergartenandattendedprivateschools

throughoutherschoollife.ShefeelsthattheEnglishteachingandlearningwas

“bad”astheyalwaystaughtthe“samerules”,theteachersalwaysspokeArabic

andtheirpronunciationwasnotgood.Also,“theteacherscouldnevergiveyou

anideaofyourstandard.”

SandrahatedherhighschoolbecauseherLibraryteachertoldhermothersome

badthingsabouther.Sheremembersfeelinganxiousand“afraid”alotofthe

timeatschoolandattributesthistohertroubledhomelife.Sandraconsiders

herselftobeaquietperson;shedoesn’tlike“tomakenoise”.Sheadmitsthat

shedoesmissschoolandherschoolfriendssometimes.

SandrathinksthatherEnglishhasimprovedsincecomingtoSharifaPPand

reports“ahappyfeel”abouttheplace.TheteachersneverspeakArabic,likeMs

A,theytalktoyouandtellyouwhatyourstandardis.Teachersaregoodjudges

ofyourstandardinEnglish.TheymakeyoutryevenifwhatyousayinEnglish

hasnomeaning.MsLdoesthisalso.EveninPP1alltheteachersspeakto

studentsinEnglishinsideandoutsideclass.AthomeSandrareadsPsychology

booksshehasborrowedfromthePPlibraryinEnglish,frequentlywatches

EnglishmoviesandlikeslisteningtoslowEnglishsongsbutdislikesrapmusic.

Shefeelssheneedsmorespeakingpracticeandtolearnmorewords.Duetoher

nervousdisposition,sheoftenmisseswordsout.Afteruniversity,Sandra

intendstocontinuelearningEnglishandtolearntospeakmorelanguageslike

heruncles.

392

3.Nour

Nourwas21yearsoldatthebeginningoftheresearchperiod.Shewasborn

andhaslivedinJeddahallherlifebutherfamilyrootsareinthesouthofSaudi

Arabia.HerparentsarebothSaudibuttheyaredivorcedandsheliveswithher

motherandher5-yrolddaughter.Shehas5brothersand5sistersandsheisa

middlechild.NobodyinherfamilyspeaksEnglish,althoughshedoeshavea

cousinwhoisanEnglishteacherinthesouthofSaudiArabia.Nourgotmarried

whenshewas13andstillinintermediateschool.Becauseofherhusband’s

philanderingNourwenttocourtandfiledforadivorcewhichtookher7years

toget.Althoughshehashadproposals,sheisdeterminednevertogetmarried

againandtoworkhardsothatherdaughterandhercanhaveagoodlife.

Nourstartedworkingfromayoungage:shewouldcomebackfromschool

around2pm,eatandsleepforanhourandthenstartworkat4.Sheusually

workeduntilmidnightanddidmostofherschoolhomeworkatwork.She

thinksshegotthroughthisOKbecauseofheryoungage.(Shedoeshavea

stomachproblemthoughandisoftenill).

In1999,13yearsago,sheworkedasareceptionistataclinic.Shewantedto

studynursingbutherbrotherdidn’twanthertoasshewouldhavetomixwith

men.In2002sheworkedforadiamondcompany,bothbecausesheneededthe

moneyandbecauseshewantedtobeindependent.Latersheworkedfora

toyshop.In2007shestartedworkingatalarge,newprivatehospitalasa

receptionistandsheworkedtherefor4years.ShealsostudiedEnglishtherefor

oneandahalfyearsastheBritishCouncilruncoursesforemployees.

SincecomingtoSharifaatthebeginningofthisacademicyear,Nourhas

devotedhertimetostudying,althoughshedoesoccasionallyworkasasingerin

weddinghallsatweekendsinordertomakeendsmeet.Hermothertakescare

ofherdaughter.Nourishappynowsheisatuniversityas“finallyIstepintomy

dream”.SheisonascholarshipofSR5,000asemester(abouthalfthefees).She

doesn’treceivefinancialsupportfromanyoneinthefamilyasshesaystheyall

393

havetheirownproblems.Shemighthaveaproblempayingthefeesnext

semester.

Nourthinkssheisagoodstudent:shetriesandstudieshardforherfuture.She

intendedtostudyEnglishLiterature(butnowshehaschangedhermajorto

Translation)inordertoimproveherEnglishandshewouldliketoworkasan

interpreteratahospital.HerdreamistogotoAmericaand“towriteEnglish

storiesinHollywood”.ShelovesEnglishbutshefeelsshytospeakassometimes

herfriendslaughather.

Tolearnmoreshereadsstorybooks,watchesmoviesandlistenstomusic

especiallytoMichaelJackson.ShewatchesChannel2alotandMBC3which

showsBarnieandcartoons.NouralsotalkstonativeEnglishspeakers:sheused

tospeaktonursesanddoctorsatthehospitalwheresheworkedandtoan

Americanladywhoisaphysiotherapistthere.AttheSharifaPP,shecanlearn

moreEnglishbystudying,listening,tryinghardandtalkingtoeveryone.

Sheattendedgovernmentschoolsthroughout.Inintermediateschoolthey

learntonlyEnglishlettersandinhighschooltheylearntsomewords,butnow

she’satSharifasheishavingconversationsanddoinglistening.Sheliked

Englishatschoolbutmostofthegirlsdidn’tbecausetheEnglishteacherwould

oftensleeponherdeskandnotteachEnglishwell.Severalgirlsdidn’tlike

Englishbecausetheythoughtitwasverydifficult.Theirattitudewasthat

Englishwasn’ttheirlanguagesotheydidn’tcareaboutit.Theydidn’tthinkit

wasimportantandonlystudiedEnglishtogainthenecessarymarksforthe

schoolcertificate.

ThecourseNourdidwiththeBritishCouncil(shereachedLevel6,Elementary)

helpedimproveherEnglishespeciallyherwriting.However,shestillneedsto

improveallherskills.Sheoftenfindsitdifficulttounderstandwhatisbeingsaid

whenshelistenstotheradio,solisteningisanareathatsheneedstoworkon.

394

4.Nevine

Nevinewas20yearsoldatthebeginningoftheresearchperiod.Herfatherwas

SaudiandhermotherisSaudi-Egyptian.Herfatherdied5or6yearsagoand

sincethenshehaslivedwithherEgyptiangrandmotherinJeddahbutshesees

hermother,wholivesalone,everyweekend.Shehas1sisterwhois10years

olderthanher,has3childrenandlivesinFlorida.2yearsagoNevinestayed

withhersister,whowasstudyingforhermaster’sdegree,for8monthsandhas

cometothinkofMiami,Floridaasherhome.NadinestudiedEnglishata

languageinstituteintheU.S.Shefeels‘homesick’fortheStates,misseshersister

andfriendsandwantstogobackaftershegraduatesfromSharifaUniversityto

dohermaster’sdegree.

NevineplanstostudyEnglishLiteratureatSharifaUniversity,gethermasters

andherPhDintheStatesandthenrunherownEnglishlanguageinstitutefor

foreignstudentsthere.HerworkgoalistobeanEnglishinstructoratuniversity.

AlthoughherArabicisgood,sheusuallyspeakstohermotherandsisterin

English.However,shedidnotscorehighenoughintheTOEFLtogostraightto

university(herscorewas445outof700),soshewasrequiredtodoPP1and

PP2.ShehasbeenattheSharifaPPsinceSeptemberandhascompletedPP1,

whichshefoundquiteeasy.ShefirstenrolledtodoTranslationashermajorbut

afterwardschangedtoEnglishLiterature.

NevinegraduatedfromSaudischool2yearsago.Shehasalwaysbeentoprivate

schoolsinJeddah.Herhighschoolwasmorelikeaninternationalschoolasthey

studiedMaths,BiologyandPhysicsinEnglishandtherestofthesubjectsin

Arabic.Nevinelikedallherteachers:theywere“kindly,helpfulandcreative”

andparticularlylikedherEnglishteacherwhowasLebaneseandtaughthera

lotofEnglishgrammar.Shewasahard-workingstudentatschoolandalways

scoredhighgrades.Sheremembershergraduationpartyinwhichshegotgifts

fromherteachers.

NevinestartedlearningEnglishwhenshewasinKG2(Kindergarden).Although

shedidlearnalittleEnglishatelementaryschool,itwasinintermediateschool

395

thatshestartedlearningproperly.Hersistersupportedherlearningby

studyingwithherandshemissesheralot.ShehaslearntEnglishmostlyonher

ownbytalkingtofamilyandfriendsbutalsobypractisingherreadingand

writingwithheruniversityinstructor.

AtthePP,shefeelsshegetsalotofEnglishpracticeinherPsychologyclasses.

Sheislearningmorevocabularyand“practisingwritingandthinking”.Shefeels

sheisgoodatspeakingandwritingbutsheneedstoreadmoreliteraturelike

theworksofWilliamShakespeare,whichshesaysarenotalldifficult.Sheneeds

timetoimproveherEnglish:sheneedstolearntobe“flexibletodealwith

people”andtolearnmoregrammar.Hermainaimistogethighergrades.She

gotanAforEnglishinPP1butwantstoachieveanA*inPP2.

396

APPENDIXGParticipantSchedules

1. Alex

WHEN? SETTING DATAGENRE HOWLONG?22Feb2012 n/a Biodata n/a22Feb DPP’soffice Informalinterview 30min25Feb

PPclassroom Semi-structuredinterview1(SS1)

36.27

29Feb PPclassroom ObservationofActivity1inListening&Speakingclass

1hr

29Feb DPP’soffice Post-activityinterview1(PA1)

4.20

10-31March2012:mid-yearexaminationsandmid-yearbreak

9April2012 PPclassroom SS2 35.0810April PPclassroom ObservationofA2 50min10April DPP’soffice PA2(Group) 16.0922April PPclassroom ObservationofA3 48min23April DPP’sclassroom PA3 11.541May-9May:Finalexaminations.Endofacademicyear

16June OnSkype SS3 25.55SUMMERBREAK 10Sept,17Oct&21Oct2012

n/a EmailresponsestoGoodEnglishLanguageLearner(GELL)sheet

n/a

10Sept PPclassroom SS4 17.4320Nov PPclassroom SS5 49.1616Dec PPclassroom SS6 36.3626-Dec2012-25Jan2013:mid-yearexaminationsandmid-yearbreak

6Feb2013 PPclassroom SS7 46.35

397

2.Sandra

WHEN? SETTING DATAGENRE HOWLONG?22Feb2012 n/a Biodata n/a22Feb DPP’soffice Informalinterview 30min25Feb PPclassroom Semi-structured

interview1(SS1)41.51

29Feb PPclassroom ObservationofActivity1inListeningandSpeakingclass

1hr

29Feb DPP’soffice Post-activityinterview1

11.44


4April2012 PPclassroom SS2 30.1710April PPclassroom ObservationofA2 50min10April DPP’soffice PA2(Group) 16.0922April PPclassroom ObservationofA3 48min23April PPclassroom PA3 21.3225April PPclassroom Discussionon

English(Group:S,No,Ne)

25.48

1-9May:Finalexaminations.Endofacademicyear

15May Myofficeathome SS3 48.137June Sandra’sliving

roomathomeGoodEnglishLanguageLearner(GELL)interview

Unrec:7minRec:21.23

SUMMERBREAK 11Sept2012 Mylivingroom SS4 35.5219Nov2012 Mylivingroom SS5 1.01.4215Dec2012 Mylivingroom Unrecorded

conversation11.30

26Dec2012-25Jan2013:mid-yearexaminationsandmid-yearbreak

5Feb2013 Sandra’slivingroom

SS6 1.15.38

398

3. Nour

WHEN? SETTING DATAGENRE HOWLONG29Feb2012 PPclassroom Observationof

Activity1inListeningandSpeakingclass

1hr

7March n/a Biodata n/a7March PPclassroom InformalInterview 35min10-31March2012:mid-yearexaminationsandmid-yearbreak

10April PPclassroom ObservationofA2 50min10April DPP’soffice PA2(Group) 16.0910April PPclassroom Semi-structured


22April PPclassroom ObservationofA3 48min25April PPclassroom PA3andSS2

DiscussiononEnglish(Group:No,S,Ne)

25.48

1-9May2012:Finalexaminations.Endofacademicyear

24June Myofficeathome SS3 44.04SUMMERBREAK 10Sept2012 FoyerofPP

buildingUnrecordedconversation1/SS4

45min

15Sept n/a WrittencommentsonGoodEnglishLanguageLearner(GELL)sheet

n/a

25Nov FoyerofPPbuilding

Unrecordedconversation2

30min

15Dec Mylivingroom SS5 24.0326Dec2012-25Jan2013:mid-yearexaminationsandmid-yearbreak

3Feb2013 Mylivingroom SS6(withSandra) 1.02.45

399

4.Nevine

WHEN? SETTING DATAGENRE HOWLONG?29Feb2012 PPclassroom Observationof

Activity1inListeningandSpeakingclass

1hr

29Feb DPP’soffice Post-activityinterview1

10.13

3March n/a Biodata n/a3March PPclassroom Informalinterview 15.083March PPclassroom Semi-structured



10April PPclassroom ObservationofA2 1hr10April DPP’soffice PA2(group) 16.0922April PPclassroom ObservationofA3 48min25April PPclassroom PA3&SS2/Group:

No,S,Ne)25.48

1-9May2012Finalexams.Endofacademicyear

SUMMERBREAK 11September PPclassroom SS3 18.3716September PPclassroom GoodEnglish

LanguageLearner(GELL)interview/SS4

17.21

25Nov2012 OnSkype SS5(completedbyemail:25Nov,1Dec,17Dec)

13.01

26Dec2012-25Jan2013:mid-yrexams&break

20Feb2013 PPclassroom SS6(unrecorded) 30minFinalExams 4-23Oct2013 n/a Seriesofemails 26Oct n/a Att.toemail:“Nevine

later”n/a

17Nov Mylivingroom Unrecordedconversation1

1hr

400

APPENDIXHSampleParticipantInterviewTranscripts1.AlexSS5

20November20122.30SharifaPPclassroom(49’16”)K:OK,Alexandra,tellmealittleaboutyourstudiesnowattheuniversity.A:Well,it’sinteresting.ItellyouthatIhave17creditsbutnowIstarttothink

it’shardformetostudy17creditsinonesemester.It’sgeneralsubjectsbutIhavealotofstress.Themid-termexamIstudyformid-termexamfor3weeks.Othergirlstheyhave12maybe13credits.Theydothecoursesforaweekandahalf.(K:Yes)It’sjust,it’stoomuchforme.(K:OK)Nowthisisbad.Thisisthemostbadweekinmylife.BecauseIdidn’tstudyanythingnoquiznoassignmentnohomeworknothing.JustyesterdayIstudythethingsforthewholeweek.EvenintheweekendIdidn’tstudyanything.

K:Doyoumeanyou’renotstudyingforyourtestsbutyou’restudyingfor=A:=thehomework?Nonothing[laughsnervously]K:Oh,sowhatdoyoudowhenyougo{home}A:{NOTHING}It’sjust,Ican’tstudy.I’mstuck.Ican’tstudy.WhenIopenmy

bookorwhenIopensomethingIfeelthatIcan’tstudyanything.K:Really?You’restressed{areyou?}A:{Yes.}JustyesterdayIstudybecauseIhaveaquizat9soIjuststudyforthe

quiz=(K:=OK)ThenIhaveapresentation.JustyesterdayIstartstudying.K:Andwhydoyouthinkyou’resostressed.Isittoomanysubjects?Or—A:Ithinkit’sbecauseIhave3hardsubjects:ComputerSciencePEandBiology.

IthinkIcando17creditsinonesemesterbutnot3hardsubjectslikethis.K:OKsowhichsubjectsareeasierA:Easierfromthem?(K:Yeah)ErrBiology.K:Butapartfromthose3whichsubjectsareeasy.LikeACSisthateasierfor

you?ACS?A:ErrACSorAPS.It’saboutpresentations.It’sallofitaboutpresentations.K:IthinkyoudoACS1withMsT(A:Yes)Isiteasyor—A:Yes.It’snothard.Butit’salotofassignments.EverySundayandevery

Tuesday.It’sSunday,oh,youhaveassignmentyouhavehomeworkyouhavequiz

K:Isittoomuchdoyouthink?A:Ithinkit’snottoomuchforthissubject.ButifIhavealotofhomeworkin

thisdayitwillbestressforme.(K:OhIsee)BecauseIhaveonSundayandTuesdayanothersubjectanothersubjectAPSit’saboutpresentation.

K:APSwhatdoesthatstandforA:Todopresentationsjusttodopresentationsorareport.K:Isituseful?A:YesIthinkit’susefulbecauseitintroduceyoutoanothergirls.IthinkI

becomemorebetterinfrontofanotherpeople.

401

K:Good,moreconfident?A:Yes,moreconfident.K:Soareyoudoinganyothersubjects?You’redoingthisAPS,ACS,Biology,

ComputerScience—A:PEMaths.K:AreyoudoingArabic?A:YesArabicIslamic.8.K:You’redoing8subjects(A:Yes.)That’salotisn’tit?Sodoyouthinknext

semesteryouwilldoless?A:Yesmaybe5subjectsor6.K:Sodoyoufeelyou’relearningalotofthingssinceyoustarteduniversity?

Areyoulearningalot?A:IthinkIlearnbutifIdidn’tstudyinPPhereandIstudyincourses,itwillbe

better.(K:Really?)BecauseIfeelsosobadtostudyoneyearhereinthePP.ActuallyallofthePPgirlssaythatbecausewearenothingincollege,nothing.Wecan’ttalktotheteacheroranyone.WhenwesawthegirlstheywerefrominternationalschoolstheymāshāʾAllāhspeakEnglishveryverywellsowecan’ttalk,wecan’ttellthedoctororaskhimsomethinginfrontoftheothergirls.(K:Isee)SoifsomeoneaskmeIwilltellthemdon’tgotoPP.

K:Sowhatwouldyouadvisethemtodo.A:Docourses.K:CoursesinEnglishlikeattheBritishCouncil?A:Yes.OrmaybehereCambridge,theytoldmeaboutit.(K:Really?)Yesfor

English.K:Soyoudon’tthinkthePPwasveryhelpful=(A:=No)IseeA:Because-erIgivehim40,000(Saudiriyals).It’slostintheair.K:Really?[withconcern].Youthinkit’sawasteofmoney.A:Yes.[Angrily]alotofmoney.K:Sohowcouldtheyimprove.Howcouldtheymakeitbetter.A:[quietly]Idon’tknow.Idon’tknow.K:Butdoyouthinktheyneedtoprepareyoubetterforuniversity?=A:=Sure.Theydoshowushowwecanwriteessayorhowwecandealwith

ourtimeshowushowtheexamwillbeandsomethinglikethat(K:Yeah)Butit’snotenough.It’snotenough.(K:Youneedmuchmore)Yes.

K:Sodoyouhavealotmoreworknowintheuniversitythanyouhad{inthePP?}

A:{Ohyes}[followedbynervous,uncontrolledlaughterwhichseemstoexpressthewords‘OhmyGod’]

K:Sowasthisashockforyou?=(A:=Yes.)Youweren’texpectingsomuch=A:=No.IexpectalotofhomeworkyesbutIexpectthatmylanguageisvery

goodsothatIcanactwiththework(K:Isee)Butmylanguageisnotgood.K:Youdon’tfeelthatyourlanguageisgoodenough(A:No.)

402

K:Andaretherecertainsubjectswhichareharderbecauseyoudon’tknowenoughEnglish?

A:BiologyandComputerScience.K:YouneedtoknowmoreEnglishtofollow—A:YesandPE.K:Andwhatdoyouthinkisthemostdifficultthingaboutstudyinginthe

universityA:Ithinkthetime(K:thetime?)becauseI’mhereat8amandIgotomyhome

usuallyat4pmsoit’shardandwestudyformid-termwhilewestilltakeclassesandassignmentsandquizzessothiswashardformebecauseit’s3weeksofmid-terms,assignments,quizzessoIcan’t---

K:Sowhenwerethemid-termexams?BeforeHaj?A:Yesbefore.K:Ididn’trealizethat.Soyourfinalexamswillbe—A:After3weeksor4weeksbecausewe’retakinggeneralsubjectssotheyput

itthefirstthentheyputthemajorslikeTranslationorLiterature.K:Yes.Doyoufeelbadbecauseyou’renotstudyingyourmajor?A:Yes.IwentevenfortheplanintheTranslationdepartmentandtheyput

generalstudieseveninthesecondsemesteralsosoIchoosetheplanbuttheytoldmeifIwanttostudyTranslationforexampleIntroductiontoTranslation,ImustsignapaperthatI’mresponsibleforthisandtheuniversitytoldmethatIcan’tdoitbutIdidit.

K:Youdidit.Whenwouldyoudoitnormally,inthesecondyearA:Inthesecondyear.K:Butyouwanttodoit=A:=inthesecondsemesterbecauseIwanttostudyinthesummer.(K:Isee)

becauseIcan’t,becauseintheplantheyput15or16hourseverysemester.IthinkIcan’tdoit(K:youcan’tdoit)SoImuststudythemajorinthesecondsemester,becausetheydon’tteachusthemajorsinsummerbecauseallthedoctorsisnothere(K:Isee)SoIwilltakeinsummerforexampleArabicIslamicHistoryandsomethinglikethat

K:IseesonextsemesteryoucanfocusonTranslation=(A:=Yes.)AndinthesummeryoucanfocusonArabic=(A:=Yesyes.)Thatsoundslikeagoodidea.

Nowhowmuchsupportdoyougetatuniversity.InPP2IknowMsLwasyoursupervisor.(A:Yes.)Doyouhavesomeonesimilarintheuniversitysomeoneyoucangoandseeifyouhaveaproblemyoucangoanddiscussyourproblems?

A:Notreally.Itdependonthedoctor.Somedoctorsaresosweetactually(K:Yes)Theyaskyouforyourproblemsandtheytrytosolveitwithyou,forexampleMsAsheteachusBiologyandthefirstquestionshe—itwashardforusbecauseourlanguageisnotthatwellandinthemid-termexamitwassoeasy.Shetoldus“Thisisforyourlanguage.”(K:Iseeyes)Andshetoldus

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“Ifyouforgotthiswordandyoucan’trememberitbutyouknowitinArabicthenwriteitformeandIwillacceptitasright.”(K:Ahthat’sgood)Butnotallthepaperactuallymaybe2answers.(K:Thatwaskind)

A:ButIhaveadoctor[smalllaugh]sheteachmePE(K:Yes)Errshe’sabadteacher[laughsasifembarrassed]

K:Sandrasaidthesamething.A:Shetoldyou?[Laughs]K:Yes.AndalsoNour.A:NourisinthesameclassasmeK:ButIthinkSandrahasthesameteacher.A:Yesit’sthesameteacher.She’ssobad[rathergleefully]K:ButwhyisshebadA:InallmylifeIdidn’tseeateacherlikeher!K:Ohdear![Laughs]A:Really,youcan’timagine.Youcan’t.K:Sotellmewhy.Whydoyousayshe’sbadA:Well(K:Howdoessheteachyou)Heraccentissobad.Whensheteachus

shejustreadsfromtheslidesOK?Andshesays:“Ohexcusemegirls.MyaccentisnotthatwellandwhenIreadtheslideswhenIreadquicklyIcan’tsaythewordinthecorrectway.”So=(K:=Isee)Ididn’tseeateacherlikeherinmylife.

K:Butshe’sanArabisn’tshe?(A:Yes)Sheshouldspeaktoyou{inArabic}A:{She’sJordanian}[Laughs]K:She’sJordanian?[A&Klaughtogether]K:SheshouldspeaktoyouinArabicifherEnglishisnotsogood=A:=YesshespeakinArabicwhenweaskhersomethingwedidn’tunderstand.

Yessheexplainforus.ButherEnglish!ShemustteachusinEnglish.(K:Yes)Herexamwassobad,sobad,SOBAD.EvenIgotomyadvisorandcried(K:Soyoutoldyouradvisor?)Yesandshetoldme:“WHATHAPPENED”Istartcrying[laughs]infrontofher.(K:Yes)Ican’tbelievemyselfbutIdon’twanttocryinfrontofthegirls.Ididn’twanttocryinfrontofthegirlsintheexamsowhenIgetoutfromthemid-termexam,IgotoDrS[laughs]andIstartcrying.Shetoldme[inaloudvoice]“Noḥabībī(mydarling),sitdown.Whathappened”Alltheadvisorsknowaboutthisteacher.

K:Ohsotheyknow.Butwilltheydoanything?A:Theytalkedtoher.Shedidn’tshedon’thearfromanyone.ImaginethatIget

9from20(K:yeah?)[Quietly]Ifailed.Ifailedthemid-termexam.Ican’ttellmyparents.Ican’ttellthem.(K:Ohmygoodness!)Andtherearesometeachers,if-ifthestudentsgetunder12OK?theyrepeattheexamforhim.(K:OK)Shedidn’t.

K:Shedidn’trepeattheexam.Butwhatwastheexam

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A:It’shard.Wedidn’tunderstandthequestionevenyouknow(K:Isitaboutthebody?)Yesit’sthebody.(K:LikeBiology?)Noshegiveusalottostudy.Wegetconfusedwhenwestudythisandthis.It’ssomethingnotrelatedtoeachother.Wegetconfused.Wecannotfocus.Thisisnumberone.Numbertwointheexam,wecouldn’tunderstandwhatshemeanbythisquestion.(K:Yes)Thatwegiveherpoint123thatweexplain(K:yes)or—wedidn’tunderstand.

K:Anddidyouspeaktoher?A:YesNourspeaktoherbecauseNourtakea5even.(K:IseeOK.)Shetold

herthat“Idon’tdoanythingnotextraworknothingandIdon’twanttorepeattheexam”andshetoldher“WhenyoufailinthefinalexamcomebacktomeandIwilldosomething.”Nourtoldher“WhenIfailinthefinalexamIwillcomebacktothisuniversitywhenIgetoutfromher.”AndNourisonascholarshipandit’shardforher(K:yeahyeah.)Idon’tknowhowshethinkactually.MyproblemisthatIdidn’tlistentothegirlswhentheytoldmesheisbad.{Ithoughttheydidn’tstudywell}

K:{Ohsotheytoldyou?}(A:Yes.)Ohsotheoldergirlsthegirlswho—A:YES.ASKANYGIRLSINCOLLEGE[Laughs]K:Theywilltellyou.A:Theywilltellyou“Yes,IknowduktūrahH”.K:Butdoyouhavetodothatsubjectorcanyounottakeit?A:Ihavetobutimaginethatit’sonecredit.TheMisstellme“Whyshedothis

foryouandit’sonecredit”Andit’sPE.K:Yes,it’sforyoutogetfit=A:=Yes,itshouldbeeasyanditshouldbeIdon’tknow(K:Funaswell)Yes.K:OKtellmenowaboutyourfriends.Haveyoumadenewfriendsnowinthe

university?A:No.Just–I-IhavealittlebitoffriendsbutIcan’tsaythatit’sclosefriends

(K:right)It’smaybearoommateit’snotcloseforme.It’sjustwetalktoeachother(K:Yeah)justinclassorwhenIseeher(K:Yes)Isay“assalāmuʿalaykum(Peacebewithyou)”or“Howdoyoufeel”.Justlikethat.

K:Butyoudon’tseethemoutsidetheuniversity?(A:Nono.)ButwhataboutthegirlsthatwereinthePPwithyouareyoumorefriendlywiththem?=(A:=Yes)Soyou’restillfriends.(A:Yeswe’restillfriends)Good.Doyouseethemoutsideuniversity?(A:No.)Sandratoldmethesamethingthatshedoesn’tseeanyofthegirlsoutsideuniversity.Shejustgoeshomethenstudies

A:Idon’tIdon’tknowactuallyiftheyseeeachotherK:Mmm.ButdoyoutalkonBlackberry?A:OnWhat’sAppandeveryday(K:youtalkeveryday?)everydaywithgirls

theyarewithmeintheclasstheyarewithmeinACSclassinMathclasssoyeswetalktoeachother.

K:Soyoufeelcomfortablewiththeothergirls=

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A:=Yes,surebecauseIhaveIknowintheACSclassmaybe2girlsIknowinthisclass.

K:Sothat’sbetterthaninthePPbecauseyoutoldmeinthePPthatinthebeginningyoudidn’thaveany.Doyouremember?

A:Yes.ButImeanafriendaclosefriend(K:Yes)Sheknowmyhabitssheknowmysecrets(K:yeah)yaʿnīthisiswhatImeanbyclosefriend

K:Soyoudon’treallyhaveaveryclosefriendhere.(A:Here?No.)Butyouhaveyourfriendsoutside=(A:=Yessure.)

K:Goodthat’sgreat.Andwhataboutyourparentsandyourbrothersandsisters.Youhave2brothersright?

A:3brothersand1sister.K:Doyourparentsgiveyoualotofsupportandencouragementwithyour

studies?(A:How)WhatImeanis,nothelp,butdotheysay“VerygoodAlexwelldone.”Dotheyencourageyou?

A:Ididn’tshowthemmygradesthissemester[laughs].ThisisthefirsttimeIdoit.(K:OK)BecauseI’mnothappywithmygrades.

K:OKbutyourparentswantyoutostudyand—(A:Yessure.)Good.Nowtellmeabouttheclassroominsidetheclassroomforyourstudies.Isit

likethePP?Doyoudothesamekindofactivities?Doyouworkingroupswithotherstudents?Isitthesameorisitdifferent?

A:Noit’sthesame.It’susuallythesame.InACSit’sthesame.Weworkingroupswritethesummaryforsomethingbutnotinallsubjects.InBiologywecan’tdosomethinglikethat,inIslamic.InArabicyesweshareourpointstoeachother.

K:OKbutwhataboutactivitieslikeyoudidwithMsA(A:Tomove?)Yes(A:Nono.)Youdon’tdoanythinglikethat?(A:No.)AndinACSdoyoueverdoyouknowlikedebatesdiscussionslikethatorisitjust?=

A:=Yessure.Sheaskusforouropinionorwhenshewanttoteachussomethingsheaskusfirstwhatweknowaboutthis(K:yes).Thenwediscussitwithherand(K:andthenshetellsyou.)Yes

K:Anddoesshetellyoustoriesabouther=A:=Yesalotofstories.Oh![laughs]alotofstories.K:Andwhathappenedwiththebook(P)Doyourememberlasttimeyoutold

methatyouhadtoreadabook?A:Ididn’treaditactually[laughs](K:Ohyoudidn’treadit?)NoIfounditso

hard.(K:Right)Youknowshetoldusthatyouopenthebookandjustfind7wordsthatyoudidn’tunderstanditinonepage.Ididn’tfindabooklikethat.(K:Really?)Becausewecan’ttakeabookwithlevel.

K:Youmeananabridgedbookonethat’smadeeasier?(A:Yes)Youhavetoreadtheoriginalbook.(A:Yestheoriginalbook.)Soyoudidn’tfindanything.Youshould’veaskedme.

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A:IbuyabookandIstart.Ijustread3or4pagesfromthisbookbutit’shardyaʿnīeverywordIneedtotranslateit.(K:Yes)AndtowriteitdownandIforgetit.

K:Trylookingup10wordsthentrytogetthegeneralidea.A:Yesbutit’smorethan10words.IfeellikeI’mjuststudying.(K:Yesit’s

boring)YessoIjustsawafilm,ithasabookalsobutIsawthefilmandIcanwritewhatshewantsaboutthebook.

K:YouhadtowriteablurbIthink.A:Yesablurb.Isubmittedittohertoday.K:WhatwasthefilmA:ItwasaboutPrideand=K:=PrideandPrejudice?(A:Yes)Iknow.Ilikeitverymuch.A:Yes[laughs]metoo.K:Butit’squitehardtoread(A:really?)JaneAustenbooksarehard.The

Englishisquitehard.A:Isawthefilmactually.WetranslateditwithDoctorAlastyear.(K:Yesyou

{toldme}){Becauseofthat}Ilovethestory.(K:Youknowthestory=)Iknow2chaptersfromthestory

K:IreallylikethegirlElizabethBennett.A:Yes[laughs]Ilikeher.Ilikethemotheractually.K:Yesshe’ssofunny.[K&Alaughtogether]A:Evenmydadwhenhesawthismovie.Shewanttofindamanforeachone

ofherdaughtersK:That’showitreallywasinEnglandduringthattime.Everymotherwanted

herdaughtertomarryarichman(A:really?[laughs])Notnow(A:before).OK(P)WhataboutthequizzesandthetestsaretheydifferentfromthePP?

Aretheyaboutwhatyoustudiedinclassor=(A:=Yes.)Theyare.A:ForexamplelookMsTit’slikethePPyouknow(K:OK)becauseit’san

academicwritingit’slikethePP(K:yes).OthersubjectslikeBiologyshegivesusslidestostudyitsoweprintitandstudyfromitbutweneedtowriteeverythingshesaysinclass.(K:Ah)It’snotallinthepaper.(K:It’snotenoughtostudythosenotes)Yesbecauseweneedto,weneedtostudythesethingsshesaybecausesheaskusaboutitintheexam.(K:Details?)Yessomedetails.Weneedtowritewithhereverythingeverythingwhichshewroteitintheboardeverything.

K:Soisthatdifficultforyou?(A:YesIthink)Becauseyou’reusedtohavingabookaren’tyou?=

A:=Yesandwhenshesaysomewordwedon’tknowwedon’tknowthespellingwedon’tknow.Afterwetakethequizwithhershestarttoknowuswellandshestarttowriteeverywordintheboardandshesay“Thisismean.Thisishermeaning.”(K:Yes)Shestarttohelpus.InIslamicIhaveaquizactually[laughs].Yeshegiveusanarticleabouthegiveusanarticle

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andwemustreaditwemustdoaquizfromthisarticlebutit’sjusttoreadandunderstandthearticleandthequizwillbefromourunderstanding.(K:Isee)Wecan’tstudysomething.It’shardforusbecause,fromwhereIwillgetthewordsthatIwillwriteaboutit.

K:IseeIsee.HowareyoufindingIslamicStudiesinEnglish.Doesthatseemstrange{thatyou’restudying}—

A:{Yes}YesbecauseIguesshe’stalkingBritishor=K:=OhhespeaksBritishEnglish.Where’shefromA:Idon’tknow.K:Youdon’tseehim.A:IseehimbutIdon’tknowactuallyK:Ishedressedinasuitorathobe?A:Nonotathobe.Hedressesinpantsandashirtandahatlikethis.Idon’t

knowhisnationality.K:OhdoeshelookArabordoeshelook=A:=No,he’snotArabbuthespeakArabic,formalArabic.K:OhClassicalArabic=A:=Yes.Butnotinclass.K:Maybehe’sanIslamicscholarishe?A:YesIthink.Theytoldme,onegirlshetoldmethathe’sfromIran.I’mnot

sure.(K:OhOK)Buthe’snotArab.K:SandratoldmethatshefindsIslamicStudiesdifficultbecauseinschool,

mostlyyoumemorize(A:yes.)butthisIslamicStudiesisdifferent.A:Yesbecausewestudydifferentlessonsnot(as)intheschool,which(is)

ḥarām(forbidden)which(is)ḥalāl(allowed)orsomething.ThisisdifferentwestudyaboutsocietyhowIslamaffectsoursocietyorhowwe—somethinglikethat.(K:It’sinteresting)It’sinterestingbutwedidn’tunderstandeverything.It’shardtounderstandeverything.Hislanguageissohardin—Irememberhesayawordandsomegirlstoldhim“Sowhatdoesthiswordmean”Hetoldherthatitsmeantafā'ūl(optimism)orsomething.Shetoldhim“Givemethespelling.”(K:Yes)Hetoldher“Nevermindit’saBritishword.”[Laughs]SowhyhespeaksBritishintheclass

K:Yeah.Sodoyouaskquestionstohimsometimes?(A:Me,no)WhynotA:BecauseItoldyouthathetalkBritish.(K:Yeah?)SoevenEnglishIcan’task

himquestionandbecauseit’salargenumberofgirlsandtheyareperfectinEnglishIfeelI’mso=(K:=embarrassed?)I’msoshyIcan’t(K:That’sashameisn’tit?)Yes.

K:Becauseyouneedtoasktocheckyourunderstanding.A:YesIwishthat.K:Yeahyeah.OKandnowdoyoufeelthatstudyingatuniversity?Isitfittingin

wellwithyourfutureplansyourfuturegoals.(A:Fittingwell?)Doesitfitwell?Doyourememberbeforeyoutoldme“IloveTranslation”?(A:Yes)“IwanttodothiswhenIfinish.Iwanttodomymaster’s”andallthis.Doyou

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stillfeelthatyourstudiesmatchyourgoalsforthefuture?=(A:=Yes)Soyoustillfeelmotivated?=

A:=Yes.ButIfeelscaredwhentheytoldmethatIneedtosignthispaper.Ifeelthat—Icandothisthing?Ornot?I’mnotsure

K:Isee.Isitonlyyouorothersgirls?A:Idon’tknow.Thegirlswhowaswithmeinthelastyeartheyarenotlike

me.Theydidn’ttake17creditsmaybe12or13.(K:Isee)Theyaremorecomfortable.Theyhavemaybe4or5subjectssoit’seasyforthem.(K:Isee)Andtheydon’twanttotakeamajorsubjectinthenextsemester.ButIfeelIwanttoendthisdegreeinthese4yearsbecauseifIdidn’tstudyinsummerIwilltakeitinmorethan4.Ican’ttake17or16creditsinnextsemester.

K:Isee.WellyoushouldaskSandrabecauseshetoldmethatshealsowantstodoTranslation.(A:Really?)Yeah.Askherbecausemaybeshewantstodoitalso.With2peopleit’seasier.(A:It’seasier)Good.Whataboutoutsidetheuniversity,isthereanythingthat’smakingyourstudydifficult?Doyouhaveanyresponsibilitiesoutsideuniversitythattakesyourtime?(A:No.)Youdon’thaveanything.That’s{great}

A:{AndI}toldmymotherthat[laughs]thatIcan’tstudythisweek.Idon’thave,Idon’tknowwhathappenedtomebutIcan’tstudy.Shetoldme“Whatwillyoudoifyougetmarriedwhilestudyinginuniversity”[laughs]

K:WhatdidyousayA:ItoldherthatIknowmyself.Ican’t.Ican’tactwiththisresponsiblethatI

studyfrom8to3or4andIcomebacktomyhomeand,Ican’t,Ican’t.K:Youcan’tmixmarriagewithstudying=(A:=No.)Noyouhavetofinishfirst=A:=Yes.Butyoudon’tknowwhatwillhappenedK:Yeah[laughs].OKthinkingbacktothePPnowfromwhatyouremember

aboutthePP:whodoyouthinkhelpedyouthemostwithyourEnglishlearning,whohelpedyoualotImeannotonlyteachersbutalsotheDirectoraclassmate=

A:=Noteachers.Teachersactually.MsSandMsA.(K:OK)ActuallyIhavealot.IlearnedfromMsLbutsheisso—shecan’tjustbeangrywiththegirlsyouknow.Whenshetoldher“OhMisswecan’tdothisquiztoday”shesay“OKmygirlsyouwilldoittomorrow”forexamplebutwithMsSandMsAwemustsubmitittodaywemuststudyhardtogetahighmarksoIthinkIlearntalotfromthemespeciallyMsS.Sheteachmetowriteanessay.IwillnotbethisgoodifIdidn’tstudywithherlastyear.

K:ShetookyouinPP1Ithink(A:Yes,inPP1.)ShetaughtyoutowriteanessayinPP1?

A:Yessure.Justforthefinalexam.K:OKgreat.Now,youtoldmethatyoudidn’tthinkPP1andPP2preparedyou

verywellforuniversity.(P)Andoneofmyquestionsiswhatcouldtheydomoretohelpyou.Youtoldmelasttimeactuallythatyouthoughttheyshouldhaveanotherlevel(A:mmm).MaybePP3?

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A:Imeanthattheydividethegirlswell.ItoldyouthatNevinestudyinthesameclasswithme.It’sunfair.(K:Yes)Becausemylevelit’snotlikeNevine’smāshāʾAllāh.She’sverygood.Idon’tknowwhysheevenstudyPP.That’sthethingthatmakemethinkoftakingthecourseinthelastyearbecausetheytoldmethatwe—thatyouwilldotheTOEFLquizagainandIdidn’tknowifIgetahighmarkornot.SoIwillgetafraidthatIwillstudycoursesandtheywilltellme“NoyoufailedinTOEFLquiz”.SowhatIwilldo.That’swhatmakemestudyhere.

K:That’swhyyoudidthePPcourse=(A:=Yes.)ButdidyoudotheTOEFLagainwhenyou{finished}?

A:{No}butifIstudycoursestheywillmakemedoitagain.K:Itwouldbeinterestingtoseewhatyouwouldgetnow.(A:Yes[laughs

nervously])K:BecauseIthinkyouhavetogetabove550right?A:Idon’tknow.I’mnotsure.Butyesitwouldbesointeresting.Justimagine

myselfifIstudycoursesforoneyearinthemostgoodplaceheretostudycourseshowIwillbenow

K:Yeah.ButIthinkyourEnglishismuchbetterthanwhenIfirstinterviewedyouthefirsttime.

A:SurebutincollegeI’mnothing.I’mnothing.K:Youfeellikeyou’renothing.A:Yes.EventhegirlsIsitwiththeyjuststoplisteningtotheIslamicteacher.

Theytelltothemselves“NoIcan’t”sotheystoplisteningtohim.Atall.K:How’sNourdoing.Issheinanyofyourclasses?A:Yesit’ssodifficult.AlltheteachersknowwhoisNour.Becausealwayssheis

inherofficeorhisoffice“Teacherhelpme.Ican’tdothis.It’stoohardformylanguage.”(K:Yesofcourse)Buttheyhelpheractually.

K:IrememberNevineusedtohelpherinthePP(A:Inwhichclass)IntheListeningandSpeakingclass(A:Ohyes)IsawthatNevineexplainedthingstoherinclass.(A:Yesyes.)Nowshedoesn’thaveNevinetohelpher.

A:Yesandit’shardforher.It’shardforme.HowwillitbeforheractuallyK:YeahOK.(P)Doyouthinkyou’vechanged?Inwhatwaysdoyouthink

you’vechangedsinceyoustartedthePP.Doyouseeanychangesinyourself?Thewayyoustudyorthewayyouapproachyourstudies?

A:(P)No[quietly]Ithinkit’sthesameK:Doyoulearnandstudyathomethesameway?Irememberthefirsttime

youtoldmeyouhadapicturedictionaryandyouusedtowritedownwordsfromthat.(A:Yes)Doyoustillthinkthat’sagoodwayorhasyourlearningchanged?

A:It’sagoodwaybutnowifIwanttotranslateeverythingitwilltakealotoftimesoIstoppeddoingthisthing.(K:Yeah)TheproblemiswhenIhaveanexamsoIhavealotoflessonssoIstartfirsttotranslatethiswordandtrytorememberitandthenstudythis.It’shard.It’stoomuchforus.

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K:Sowhatdoyoudothenifyouhaven’tgottimetodothat=A:=Afterthemid-termIstartinthisweekendItook2lessonsinPE(K:Yeah)A:Afterthemid-termIwillstudyitinshāʾAllāhthisweekendbecauseIdon’t

wantittobeveryhardformeinthefinal=K:=Youdon’twanttobebehind=A:=Yes.EvenIdon’twanttofailinthefinal(K:Ofcoursenot)Ididn’tshowmy

gradestomyparentsbecauseItoldmyselfthatiftheysayforexampleIget80from100,theywillnotknowthatIfailedthemid-termexam.(K:YeahIsee)It’ssomethingsadtotellyourparentsthatyoufailinthefirstsemesterincollege.

K:Butit’sonlyonesubjectandit’snotsoimportant.ImeanPEhasnothingtodowith—

A:ButyouFAILED[laughs].K:It’sthefactyoufailed=(A:=Yes.)Youdidn’tfailbeforelikeatschool(A:No

no.)Icanunderstandit.A:Becauseofthattheywillbeshockedfromme.K:Yeah.CanyouthinkofanymistakesyoumadeinthePPthatnowyoudon’t

make?(P)Mistakeslikemaybeyoudidn’tdosomethingintherightway.Orforexampleyouwrotesomethinginthepasttensewhenyoushouldhavewrittenitinthepresenttense.(A:Ohallofit)CanyouthinkofmistakesyoumadeinthePPthatyoudon’tmakenow?

A:ImakeitbutbutitwasnotwhenIwasinthePP.I’mbetternow.JustsometimesIgetconfusedandIforgettoadd–edbutyʿanī(K:OK)it’smuchbetterthan(in)thePP.(K:Yourgrammar?)Yes,it’salittlebitmoregood.

K:WhataboutListening.Doyouthinkit’sbetter?A:Wedon’ttakeListeningnow.K:Butmaybeyoudon’tdoanexerciseinListeningbutlisteningtotheteacherA:Yes.Totheteacher{it’sbetter}K:{It’sveryimportant}A:It’sbetter(K:Yeah)EvenifIdidn’tunderstandthisspecificwordIcan

understandthegeneralideathatsheaskustodoK:Good.That’sgreat.Anddoyouhaveanymoreideasabouthowyoucanuse

yourtimeoutoftheuniversityoutofclasstohelpyourlearning?(P)Athomecanyouusetheinternetoranyresourcestohelpyou?

A:TherearebutIdidn’tuseanyone.K:Isitbecauseyoudon’thavetimeor=A:=It’sbecausewhenIstarttostudyorwhenIfinishmyhomeworksorto

studyformyquiz,Ican’tdoanythingK:Youfeeltired=A:=Yes,Ifeelkhalāṣ(that’sit)!K:Sowhatdoyoudothen.Whenyou’retiredandyoufinishyourworkwhat

doyoudoA:UsuallyIstartstudyingat9pmsoIfinishitat12orat1soIjustgotosleep.

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K:ThenwhendoyouhavetogetupinthemorningA:At6.K:Soyouonlyget—A:Becausemydriverwillbeatmyhomeat7amK:Sodoyousleepintheafternoon?Afterlunch?A:[Laughs]Nono.JustwhenIstartafterthisvacationtheHajvacationIwas

solazyinthefirstweeksoeverydayIjustsleepafternoon.Butnowno.Idon’thavemuchtime.IfeelwhenIgethome—Ijustarrivetomyhomeat4o’clockor3o’clockforexampleIjustsitoutalittlebitonmycomputerorFacebook.Ijustwanttoseemyfamily[laughs](K:Yes)Isitlikethatonthechair(K:Notdoinganything)YesIcan’tworkathome.InthismomentIcan’tworkathome.Ican’tstudy(K:Yes)MaybeIwillwatchalittlebitofTV(K:yes).ButevenifI—Ihave2choices,IsleeporIwatchTVorsitalittlebitinthehome(K:yeah).SoIcan’tstudy.IfIhavealotofworkIwillstartstudyingfrom8butmorethanthatIcan’t.

K:Wellitsoundslikeyouhavealottodonow(A:yes).Anddoyouthinkyouworkmoreindependentlynow?(A:Bymyself?)YeahnowmorethanyoudidwhenyouwereinthePP?

A:(P)It’sthesame.BecauseIdidn’tdependonsomeoneelse.K:EveninthePPyoudidn’t(A:No.{Untilnow}).{Ithink}atthePPyoudidn’t

goandaskyoursupervisorformorehelp{didyou?}(A:{No.})LikewhenMsLwasyourcounsellorwasit?(A:Ouradvisor?)Youradvisor.Youdidn’tusedtogotohermuchtotalktoher=

A:=NobecauseIdidn’tneedsomethingtoaskheraboutit.K:Right.Soyouworkedindependentlythen.(A:Yes.)Sonowthefinalquestionis[inanamusedtone]areyouenjoyingyouryear

sofaratuniversity[laughs]?A:[ratherhystericallaughter]You’regonnaaskmethisquestionnow?K:[Laughswithembarrassment]A:[Seriouslynow]Ithinktherearealotofdifferentthingsbetweenthe

collegeandthehighschool.(K:Ah!)Youknowthewayyoustudythewayyouputyourscheduleonyourown.Somethinggood.WhenIcomparemyselfwithanothergirlsfromourfriendsImeanfamilyfriendswhentheystudyout=(K:=mmm)OurfamilyfriendstheytooktheirdaughtertoJordantostudytheresoIfeelthat—TheytoldmeyesterdayoneofourfriendsshecameherefromJordanshehasavacationshetoldme“NowIcancomparebetweenhighschoolanduniversitybecausethereisyouknowabigdifferencebetweenthesetwo.”Butherethereisnodifferencebecauseyouknowthereyoustartstudyingyouknowgirlsandboystheretheyhavethehabityoucangetalunchwithyourfriendsormaybehereyʿanīhereit’snotallowedtogetoutfromtheuniversityandgotoarestauranttoeatwithyourfriends.(K:Yes.)It’snotlogicalherebutthereit’ssoeasy.Andmybrotherhestudyherenowandhe’ssohappy(K:He’shereorinJordan?)No

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inJordan.Yes,he’ssohappyandhesaysyes,there’slotsofdifferencebetweenhighschoolandcollege.NowIfeeldifferentbutIcan’tsayit’salargedifferenceorahugedifferencebecausewhenIcomparemyselfwiththismybrotherandthismyfriendnothere’snocomparing.Ican’tcomparebecauseweareyouknowsomethinglikehighschoolyoufeelthat{youareinalimitedplace}(K:{restricted})Youcan’tgetoutwhereveryouwantoryouwantitmaybenecessarytoworkwithoneboymaybe=(K:=Yes)Soshetoldmethatit’salotyaʿnīit’sdifferent(K:yes)differentfromhighschool.

K:Maybeyou’relearningaboutlifemorethere(A:yes)whereashereit’sjustyourstudies.

A:Yes.Ijuststartthinking.ItoldyouthatmyfathertoldmethatIprefertogotostudytoJordan(K:Youtoldmeyeah.)ButIstartthinkingifIstudytherehowwillIbenow.I’msurethestudyofJordanitwillbemoreusefulformebecausethestudythereit’shardit’smoreharderbuterrIcan’t[slowsdown]IwillbesobusybecauseIwilllivewithmyerrgrandfatherandgrandmotherandit’ssohardtostudyinthefamilyhomeyouknowImustbeintheirhome.(K:Isee)becauseevenourculturetherethatIshouldbethereifsomevisitorgotothemIshouldn’tletmygrandmotherworkanythingathome.(K:Isee)Evenheremyfathernowhecallmybrotherthereso“Dothisdothisdothis.”(K:Yes)Itoldmymother“NoIcan’tstay.I’mherebetter”becauseI=

K:=Couldn’tyoulivewithyourbrotheroverthere?A:(P)Wellmybrotherisliveinourhome=(K:=Oh!Helives=)Youknowthey

areinthesame=(K:=building?)Yes.It’sthesamebuildingsoheiseverytimewiththem.(K:Isee)Whentheywantsomething“Ohcanyougotothismarketandgetsomething?”Heisalways{outofhome}.

K:{Youhavetosayyes}.IseeA:Itoldmymother“Howdoeshestudy.Howhestudy.”Becausealwayswhen

theywanttogosomewherealways“OhJamalyouhavetocomewithus.”(K:Isee)Ohit’shardveryhardformebecauseI’magirl

K:ButIthinkyou’vechangedalittlebitbecauseyoutoldmebeforethatyoudidn’twanttostudyinJordan.Soyou’vechangedalittle

A:Yes,I—whenIheardfrommybrotherandIhaveafriendshestudyinPalestinethesameasJordan(K:thesamesystem)yesandwhenIheardfromthemIstartthinkingWhyIdidn’tgotheretostudy.Buttheyliveinahappyplace.TheywanttoliveinthisplacebutIdon’twant.Ican’tbelieveevenwhenIwenttherethissummerjustoneweekandIstartcrying.Iwanttocomebacktohere.ThisIcan’tbecausewearetherestillthereathome.Mydadmyfatheralwaystellus“I’mherejusttoseemyparents”so—

K:Soyoudon’treallygoout?=

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A:=Nononever.Wedon’tknowanythingaboutthere.Ormaybewithfamily,Igowithmyauntiemaybetoherhomejustlikethat(K:Isee).It’shereinhomeit’sthereinhome.

K:Hometohome[smiles](A:yes)OKthank-you.2.SandraSS5

Sat.19thNovember20122.30-Myhouse-1.01.42

K:OKSandra,thisisour5thinterview.Tellmeaboutyourstudiesnowattheuniversity

S:Ermit’sinterestingandnice.IfeelsomestressordifferentthingsbecauseItakecoursesforfirsttimeinmylifeinEnglishlikeEnvironmentlikeIslam

yaʿnīIfeelit’sfineifIstudywellandsummarisetheworditwillbefinebutIfeelsomestressforme(K:someproblems)yeahsomeproblemsunderstandingthewordandunderstandingermthecoursebecauseinhighschoolIdidn’ttakeChemistryorBiologyorMath.Iwasintheothersection(K:theArts)yestheArts.BecauseofthatIfeeleveninIslamwhenthedoctorheexplainanythingIunderstandjustalittlebecauseItookthisbeforebutinEnvironmentwhentheteachersayanythingIfeellikemybrainstopthinkingandIjustwanttorelateittogetherbecauseIneedtounderstandwhatshesay.Butit’sfineIcanal-ḥamdulillāhIcanpasstheway.

K:DoyouthinkEnvironmentismorelikeasciencethen?MorelikeChemistry?S:Yeah,becauseIdidn’ttakethisbeforebutal-ḥamdulillāhK:ButIwouldthinkIslamwouldbeeasyforyoubecauseyou’vedoneallofit

inArabicbefore.S:YeahbutthestudyinginschoolnotjusttheEnglisheventheothercoursesit’slikerepeating(K:memorising)justtheonlythingtheydoand

theonlychangetheymakeitjustwriteinthebook.What’sthename(of)thisone(K:exercisebook?)Nowhat’sthename(K:workbook?)No.Every

bookitshavelikeyouknowitsnamethebookhere(K:thetitle?)Yathetitlejustthedifferenttheysayfor1stintermediate2ndlikethatandthentheygiveyoujustyaʿnīlikewhat(P)theydidn’tgiveyouallthethingswemustdoandwemustdon’tdolikethatnotheyjustgiveyouthisyouknow(K:information?)Yajustlittleinformation.yaʿnīwhenIwassmalltheysay

youmustnotdrinkal-kuḥūl(alcohol)becauseit’slikethatandandand—(K:Ah!)Nowjustdon’tbecauseitwillletyoudon’tcareaboutyourselfjust.

K:SotheygaveyoumorereasonsS:Noweveryyeartheymakeitjust1or2reasons.yaʿnīwhenIwassawthe

booksformyfriendbefore,sheisolderthanme,whenIseeinthebookArabicitsnameqawāʿidnaḥū(Grammar),whenIsawshehasmany

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exercisesmanythingsmanyermexplains(K:explanations)inherbook.Inmybookjustexercise1maybe.Intheschooltheydidn’tgiveyousomethingnew(K:Isee)thesamething.Buttheyineveryyearmakethebooksmallerthanbeforejust.Doyougetmypoint?

K:Yes.SomostlyatschoolyoumemorisedtheQuranandthat=S:=Yeah!K:Youdidn’thavediscussions,explanationsabout=

S:=Nono.EveninIslamwhatwetakewhenIwasin1stintermediateorin6thgradeuntil3rdhighabout,itsnameinArabic((xxx))al-nifāq(hypocrisy)((xxx))everythingelseit’srepeatingnothingisnew(K:Isee).That’swhyintheuniversityIfacesomeproblemsbecausesometimesIfeelthatIhavebeenMuslimwithoutknowinganythingyaʿnī(K:interesting)yeahandatuniversityItellthedoctor“doctordoyouknowsomething,sometimesIfeellikewhenI’mtakingthisclassthatIdidn’tbecomeMuslimbefore”(K:strange!).IfeelhowaMuslimandthere’safewthingsthatdidn’tcometomyminditseffectonmyreligion(K:yeah)andsometimesIfeelreallytheteachinghereinSaudiArabiaisverybad.

K:SonowyoucandiscussthingsyoucanaskquestionsS:Yeahhesaidaboutafewthingsthatbeforewedidn’timaginethatis

accountingtousyaʿnīK:Soit’sveryinterestingforyouthenevenifit’sabitdifficultS:YeahbecausethisismyreligionandIneedtoknowmorethingsbecauseIdon’tliketofalldownwhenItraveloranythingwithoutIknow.K:Isitstrangeforyouthatyou’restudyingitinEnglish?(S:Yeah)TobelearningmoreaboutyourreligioninEnglish?Itmustseemstrange.S:Yeahyeah,butthelearnintheschoolit’snotjustaboutEnglish,every

courseis—Likein3rdhighIwaslovemyteacherforPsychology.ShewasgiveusaclassandthenItellherhernamewasFawziaand[speakingfast]shewassmallsheismyold(K:mmm).Itellher“Fawzīahkhalāṣlātidīnādarsal-yawm”Itellhimlike“Fawziaenoughdon’tgiveustodaylesson.”Shesaid“OKbutIwilljustgiveyoujusttheidea.”ThenItellher“OKOKIwillread.”ThenIjustsaid“OKnaḥnanifhamyābanāt(girlsdoweunderstand)andthenmyfriendssay“YesOKweallunderstandsoyāllāhkhalāṣ(that’sitcomeon)that’sfinelet’sjuststayandtalk.”SothenalltheclassispassedwhenIwastalkandshetellusaboutherjobwhenshewasinImārāt(theEmirates)andwhatshedoinsidethesijin(K:prison)yesprison.(K:Shewasintheprison?)SheisstudyPsychology.Shemustgotoprisontointerviewwiththeprincess(K:prisoners?)princessandprisoners(K:aprincess?)Yeah(K:wow!)shewasthereyeahshewastellusyaʿnīalotofthings.Itwasveryniceanditwasvery—

K:Ididn’tknowyoustudiedPsychologyatschoolonlyinthePPS:NoIstudiedPsychologyinschool.(K:butonlyyourschool)Noallthe

schoolsinthesectionofArtstheytakePsychologyandLiteratureand

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Arabic.Inthe2ndhighwetakePsychologyitmeansʿelmal-nefsandin3rdhighwetakeʿelmal-ijtimāʿ(K:SocialSciences)yeahSocialScienceorSociologylikethat.Wethenwejuststaylaughing.yaʿnīsomepeopledon’tthinkaboutthelearninginschool.Ifwebecomefriendswithourteachersandevenifherageisneartoourageshewillnotforceusordowithuslikewhensheteachanystudent.

K:Doyouthinkyouactuallylearntthingsinherlesson?S:Youknowherlessonitwasveryeasyyaʿnī.Idon’tknowwhytheyputthis

lesson(P)(K:inhighschool?)nowhytheytakealessoninsomethingthatisverysillyandisvery—.Evenifyouhaveaverylowmindyoucanansweranythinginsidethefinalexam.It’sverysillyproblemyouknowlikesmokinglikethefamilywhoabusetheirchildrenlikethat.Somethingisverysilly.(K:Everybodyknowsyeah?)Whattheyarethinkingwhentheysaythisiswhatyoumustlearn.Whatdowelearninside.Weknoweverythinginside(K:Iseesoit’sdifferentfromyourothersubjects)Yeahyeah

K:ButdidithelpyouwhenyoustudiedPsychologyinthePP?S:Idon’tknowbecauseIchangedmymajorbutIdon’tthinksobecausethiswasjustinthebeginning.JustifyouwantanintroductiontheygiveyoueverythingyoutookitinschoolbuttheotherswhenyougotothehardlessonIdon’tthinkso.K:IseebutareyoustillinterestedlikebeforeinPsychology?S:YeahbutyouknowIaminterestingbutnotlikethepeoplewhostudyin

manywaysnoIjustlikestudytoknowthepeoplefromtheirtalkingandfromtheirlaughingwhattheyhaveproblem(K:nottostudyitasasubject)nono(K:justforlife)yahyah.yaʿnīsomepeopletheythinkItookitdawrātit’smeanI’mastudentandItakesome(K:credits)yesItakeitcredits.Thereismyfriendwhenhespeaktome,youknow,noonecanknowifheissadorno.Whenhetalktome,Ilovethat.Itellhim:“Whyareyousad”Hetellme“Nothing.”Itellhim“No,youhaveaproblem.”Hetellme“NonothingI’mfine.”“Don’tdothattellmewhatistheproblem”(K:mmm).AlsomyunclesandmostofmyfamilyandmostofmyfriendsthinkI’mstudyingthatbutI’mnotstudyingthatyaʿnībutthat’swhatIfeelforyou(K:it’sanunderstanding)yeahbecauseI’munderstandingyoubutbecauseofthat(K:yeah)I’minterestedbutnotdeepinside.

K:IseeOK.NowIwanttoaskyouabouttheworkattheuniversity.IsitmuchmoreworkthaninthePP?S:Errno.InthePPwewastakeeverythinginonecoursenowinACS(K:I

see)yes.BeforewewastakeListeningandSpeakingandReadingandWriting4courses.Nowtheytakeitinonecourse.ButtheIslamnoit’sverynicealsotheEnvironmentIdon’thavehardworkyaʿnīit’sverygood.

K:Anddoyouhavetogointotheuniversityeveryday?(S:Yeah)Anddoyouhavemanyhoursofhomework?

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S:Ermfrom9to4juston(exceptfor)MondaybecauseIhavejust2classesK:That’satuniversity.Buthowabouthomework.Howmanyhoursdoyouspenddoinghomework

S:UmmmeveryweekwemustsubmitinACSanewsjournalandaquizaboutthemissingwordandmeaning.Theteacheraskustobringabookblurb(K:youhadtoreadanoveldidn’tyou?)yeahIread.Whatelse?It’snoteasyandit’snothardyaʿnīthisallforyourselfwhatyoucandohowyoucanwritewellornot

K:OK,great.Whatdoyouthinkisthehardestthingaboutstudyingattheuniversityforyou

S:Erm(P)ifIwasbadwithmyteacherstheywill[laughs],theywilldestroymetheywillfailme.(K:Isthereanyteacheryoudon’tlike?)NoI’malwaystryingtobelovelyandgoodwitheveryone(K:youarealwayslovely!)[Bothlaugh](K:Sothere’snothingdifficult)Nobutmyfriendstheyhave(K:really?)yeahandthenItellhimItellher“Pleasedon’tbebadwithherbecauseyouneedthem.”(K:Sowhichteachersdotheyhaveproblemswith)Erritmeansfitit’sexercise(PE)yaʿnī(K:it’sasubject?)yestheymakeexerciseandthentheystudyaboutthebodywhatourbodyneedlikethat.NourNourshehavethat(K:shehadaproblem)yeahItoldheryaʿnīthisiswhatwesayitinArabiclammāʿindikshayminal-kalbqūllīyāsīdī.Imeanifyouhavesomeifyouneedsome—Ifthedog

ifthedog(K:yes)havesomethingforyouItell(call)him“Mister”[Klaughs]Itellher“Nourdon’tforget[laughs]lammāʿindikshayminal-kalbqūllīyāsīdī.”Shethinksshe(thePEteacher)isdog[laughs](K:sheagreeswithyou)Yah.(K:Sowhydoesshehaveaproblem?)Becausethiscourseeverystudenttheygetthiscoursetheyfailbecausetheteachersheisdo

somethingit’seasybutshemakeithardershe=(K:=Whereisshefrom)Ithinkshe’sArabic,Idon’tknow.Ithinkshe’sfromhere(K:really?)yeah(K:butshespeakstoyouinEnglish?)yesbecausewemustlearneverythinginEnglish.(K:DoyousometimesfeellikespeakingtoherinArabic?)NoIfeelstrangebecauseyaʿnīwhatdoyouthinkyourselfyaʿnī?yaʿnīyouarenotadoctoryouarenotabigthingyoujustteacherforexerciseandforsomethingitisnotinterestingwhyareyoualwaysforcingthestudentsforce the girls andwhen theydo exercise she is smell if they sweat and

then she go to smell them [K laughs] and tell them to go out (K: howembarrassing!} yeah. Nour she told me she’s ḥayawān she’s an animal[laughs] “she’s ḥayawānah ḥarām” (she’s a shameful animal). She say“these people are poor ḥarām.” I tell her “khalāṣ ignore her.” [laughscontinuously](K:[Seriously]Sodoeseveryonehavetodoit?Doyouhaveanexaminit?)Mmmexaminbody(K:howthebodyworks)mmm[Sstilllaughingquietly](K:but itcouldbe interestingIsuppose!) [S laughsas ifI’mjoking].

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K: Iwant to ask you about the support. Remember in the PP if you neededextrahelpyoucouldgotoyouradvisor.Doyouhavethesamesupport intheuniversityasthePP?

S:Yeah[tentatively]butifIneedsomehelpIdon’tgotoDrSIgotothedoctor.OrifIhavesomeproblemswiththecourseIgototheonewhoisresponsibleaboutallthesedoctorsyaʿnībutifIhaveproblemswiththedoctorsIgotomyadvisor.HernameisSshe’sfromTūnisorMorocco.(K:Soeveryonehasanadvisor)Mmm.Everymajorhasanadvisor.(K:ButisitasfriendlyasthePP?)Nobecauseit’sbiggerandeveryonein

theuniversitytheyhavetheirownway(K:Isee).K:Doyouhavemanyfriendsintheuniversitynow?S:YeahIhavebutIdon’thavetimeyaʿnītostaywiththemandlikethat(K:Doyouhavenewfriends?)YeahnewbutIdon’thavetimetostaywiththemlikethat.(K:Soyoudon’tseethemafterclass?)IseethembutIlikeI

meanit’sbetterformetostaywithNourandwithmyfriendyaʿnīfromthePPNourTasneemHalimaNiadAlexthesegirls.(K:Doyoueverseethemoutsidetheuniversity?)NoIstayalltheweekinmyhome.Justbetweenhome-universityuniversity-home.K:Couldyouseethemifyouwantedto?S:YesIcouldbutI’mnotthepersonyaʿnīwholiketogooutandhavesomefun.Ijustlikegotohome.Idon’tlikegotomallandbuysomethingIdon’twant.IfyouwantmetocometoyouI’llcometoyouinyourhomebecauseIdon’tlikeinoutside.(K:Youdon’tlikegoingoutforacoffee?)NobecauseI’mnotsmokeIdon’twanttogoforcoffee.Alsotheboystheyareverysillyandtheyjuststartflirtyouinanyway.ThisisverystupidthingsIdon’tliketogo.K:That’slikemydaughtershesaysthesamething.Nowtellmeaboutyourparentsyourmotherdoesshesupportyouinyouruniversitywork?S:(P)No.Youmeandoesshehelpme?(K:Nodoessheencourageyouandgiveyouconfidence?)Nono.NobecauseIamstubbornandmymotherifshewantmetodosomethingshesayitmanytimesin1minute.“Godoit.Godoit.Whyyoudothat.Whyyoumakethat.Youmustdothis.Youmustgivethisoneit’sbetterforyou.”Idon’tlikelikethat(K:mmm)(P)andalsoshejusttellme“takecarewithyourstudy.”SometimesItellher:“Mamahelpme”andshetellme“Nonoyouunderstandmewrong.I’mnotgoodinEnglish.”Itellher“OhmyGodI’msosorryforyouandthen[laughs]Igoout.(K:Whataboutyourgrandfather)Theyjustaskme“Howdoyoudo.It’sfineornot?”Likethis.Theytellmealways“Keepwearingyourʿabāyah”likethat.It’sOKbutformeIdon’tlikepeopletheysayme“Dolikethatforyoumakethat.”NoIdon’tlike(K:youwanttodoitbyyourself)Mmm.

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K:Nowtellmeabouttheclassroomattheuniversity.InthePPyoucouldtalktoyourteachersyoudidactivitiesyouworkedwiththeothergirls.Isitthesameintheuniversityclassroom?

S:Mmmthesame.Notthesameactivities,different.(K:WhatdoyoudoinACS)InACSlikewhenweforexamplelikeMsTshewastellusabouttheproblemssomethingyoudoityouthinkit’srightbutyourparentsseeit’swrong(K:Yeah).Shetelluswhenshewassmallthemotherofherfriendforgetherandshe’snotstayintheschoolshecamebacktoherhomebywalkingalone.Andthenhermothershe’scursingherlikethat.Shewasthinkthisisagoodthing(K:Idon’tunderstand).yaʿnīifmybrotherAbdullahifIleavehiminthisshop(K:yeah),andIforgethimIgotohome.HemuststayinthisplaceIlefthiminbecausewhenIcomebackIfoundhim(K:yeah).Abdullahhedidn’tstayhecometohomealone.Hedosomethingit’sright(K:yes)butit’swrong.Whatifsomeonekillhimorstealhimoranything.Hedoesn’tthinkaboutsomethingit’sbiggerhejustthinkabout“Icangohomealone”(K:Isee).Wewasdiscussaboutthisthingandthenshetellusabouthowtodoreadingwhatwemustdowithsomearticleandthenwewilldiscussthisarticleinclasslikethat.(K:Soyoubringanarticletoclassthenwhat)Thentheteachersay“Ifyouwantnowreadyourarticle”andshesayforexample“Nowwriteasummary.”Andthenshewillsay“Whatisthesummaryinmyopinion”(K:Soyousayyoursummarytotheclass)noshejustreadit.IfsheseemeIwroteitwellshesay“OK”butifIwroteitwrongshesay“Girlsthesummaryisnotlikethatforexamplewhenyourfriendshesaid“Blahblahblah”youmustnotdothatyoumustdolikethis(K:shegivesyoufeedback)yeah.

K:DoyoudoactivitiesliketheonesyoudidwithMsAliketheroleplay(S:WhoisMsA?)MsAinthePP(S:yeahyeah)doyourememberthe

activitiesyoudid?(S:Yeah)Doyoudoanythinglikethat?S:Nono.(K:Doyouworkwithanothergirl?)YeahIworkwithanothergirlindifferentactivitiesnotthesame.(K:Likewhat)Likewhatforexamplewhenwewriteabookblurb,wearejust3girls,here2girls,here3girlslikethatandthenwediscusstogetherhowtowriteitandthenweswitchourworkwiththeothergirls.Theyseehowdowewriteandthenweseehowdotheywrite(K:soyouexchangeblurbs)yeahandifweseesomethingwrongorsomethingismissing,wespeakaboutit.Likealsowhenshesaid“Whatistheprobleminthisuniversitywhatyoushoulddo.Givemeasolutionforthestudentthathavealotofworkinashort

time.Whatshouldshedo.Andtheneveryonejustwrite2solutionandthenweexchangethepaperandwesaywhichistheoneIsayisbetter.(K:Iseesoyoudiscussitinpairs)notinpairsnomaybe3girlsatleast3girls.

K:Doyouenjoyworkingwiththeothers?

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S:ErrIdon’tlikebutIcannotsayIwanttoworkalonebecausethisisnotsomethingIcanchooseyaʿnīifIwantaloneorwiththeothers.ThisissomethingImustdo.IfIlikeitornotImustdo.

K:Yesitmightbehardertodoalone.ThiswayyoucanexchangeideasS:YeahyeahIknowbutyouknowIdon’tlikebecausethereissomegirls

theyjustwantyaʿnīspeaktheyjustwanttosaystorieslikethattheydidn’tdowellortheywriteitandtheysay“Whatdoyoulike.Isitniceorwhat?”Weworktogetherwemustdiscussthisthingtogether(K:mmm)butsomegirlsnobecauseofthatIfeelyaʿnīOKit’sfine[speedingup]OKOKit’sfineOKOK[S&Klaugh]

K:OKanddoyouthinksofaratuniversityyou’velearntmanythings?Manynewthings?(S:Newthings?)Yeah.S:IunderstandIdon’tknowanything.IthoughtIlearnedinthePPmany

thingsbutinthePPnothingishelpmejustnothingishappenedjustIcanunderstandpeoplewhospeakquicklynotallthetime.IcanspeakIcanreadIcanwritealsoIcanreadthenovelandunderstandeverythingbutinuniversitynojusttheonethingwhichhashappenedIimprovemyselfinEnglishjust(K:reallynothingelse?)NothingelsebecauseeverythingItookitinthePPjustcoursesforimprovemylanguagelikeListeningSpeakingReadingWritingjust(K:soyoumeaninthePPyoudidn’tlearnmanynewthings)nojustwhatIneedtoimprovemyEnglishjust.(K:Whataboutnowinuniversity)IunderstandIdon’tknowanything.IthoughtIknowmanythingsbutnowIknowyouknowwhatlikeyaʿnīcertainlyIknowaboutmyself[laughs]thatIdon’tknowanything[Klaughs].IwasjusthaveagoodlanguagelikethatbutIdidn’tunderstandbecausewetookotherlessonsnotjustACS.NowetakeIslamwetakeEnvironmentCSwetakeArabic.(K:Yeahbutareyoulearningmanynewthingsinthosesubjects?)Yeah[tentatively]yeahIlearn.(K:SoyouthinkyouonlydidEnglishLanguageatthePP?)YeahyaʿnīallmythingsIlearninthePPnowIspeakEnglishwell.ThisisallthatIthink(K:mmm).ButintheuniversityIshockedbecauseIdidn’tthinkaboutthatbefore(K:Isee)andthenIsawmanythingsit’shardforme.

K:SodoyoufeelyourlevelofEnglishnowisgoodenoughforyoutodowellinthecoursesatuniversity?DoyouhaveenoughEnglishdoyouthink?

S:It’sfine.It’snotwellyaʿnībutit’sfine[smalllaugh].Ithelpmetounderstandthingsmanythings.

K:Andtellmeaboutthequizzesandthetests.AretheythesameasinthePP?

S:No.(K:Howaretheydifferent)Errthewayofwritingthequestions.AlsosomethingisveryeasybutyaʿnīIfeeljustconfusedbecauseItookit

infirsttime.BecauseofthatIfeelsomeproblemsbutit’sfineyaʿnīit’sgood.(K:Butdotheybringyouthetestsfromthebook?)Wedon’thavebook.Wehavejustslidesandifyouheardsomethingit’slikeinformation

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inadditionyoujustwriteitdown(K:soyouhavetobecarefultowriteeverythingdown)yeahofcourse.BecauseinEnvironmenttheteacher

she—mostofthethingsinthequizit’sfromtheinformationshesaidyaʿnīK:OKanddoyoustillfeelthatstudyingattheuniversityfitsinwellwithyourfutureplansandgoals?S:Yeahit’sit’sOKbutnowIcan’tthinkaboutanythingaboutmyfuturebecauseIdidn’tyetstartlearning,starttakingmymajorsubject.Ididn’tyet.Thisisjustmyfreshmanyear.K:Doyourememberyoutoldmeit’sveryimportanttobemotivated.Do

remember‘motivation’?(S:Mmm)Doyoustillfeelmotivated?S:ThisyearIjustputmymotivationinsidemydraweryaʿnī(K:[Laughs]why)becauseI’mfreshmanthisisnotmotivationyaʿnī[laughs]justworkjustworkbutmymotivationwillcomeoutfrommydrawerwhenIstartnextyear(K:yousaidyouwanttofinishquickly)yeah.K:Whataboutoutsidetheuniversity.Arethereanyproblemsoutsidetheuniversity?Anythingtodowithyourfamilyorsocialthingsthataffectyourlearningatuniversity?(S:Noeverything’sthesameandit’sbecomebetteralso.)Doyouspendalongtimetakingcareofyourbrotherandsisters?S:NojustIlovetotakecareofAbdullahbecauseIlovehim.Ifeelthisthingisfunforme.(K:WhataboutFahad)No[laughs]mysistersandFahadaskmetosummarizethisoneItellthem“Justreaditandrepeatandrepeat”Shetellme“Ican’tanswerthisquestion.”Itellher“Readyoursubjectfromthebeginningreaditwell.”Shetellme“Noyougivemetheanswer.I

tellher“Idon’tknowread.”“Pleasehelpme!”“READ”thenIgo.Shetellme“PleaseSandrahelpmetowritethisone.”“Idon’tknow.I’msleepingnowyāllāh(hurryup)go.”Everyday—

K:Ifyouhelpedallofthemyouwouldn’thavetimeforyourownstudy(S:yeah)Nowlookingback—

S:AlsothetimeinthePPIdon’thavebreakjustmybreakat12o’clockbutnowIhave.9o’clockIhaveclassandthen10break,11class,from12to2Ihavebreakandthen2to3classandfrom3to4class.It’snice.It’snotpressure.

K:OKlet’sthinkaboutthePPnowlookingback.Let’sthinkaboutthepeople.WhohelpedyouthemostdoyouthinkwithyourEnglishlearning.Whohelpedyoualot.Whohelpedyoualittleandwhodidn’thelpyou(S:Aboutmyteachersyoumean?)Anybodyteachersclass-matesparentsfriends?S:JustMsLinReadingandWritingandMsAinListeningandSpeaking(K:theyhelpedyouthemost?)noandalsoDrS(K:howdidshehelpyou)WhensheaskmewhatIdoinmyjoblikethatshetoldme“You’redoingwell.Takemyadvicedolikethatreadlikethat.”Also

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MsS(director’ssecretary)shegivemeadvicebuttheotherthingsno.khalāṣyaʿnī(K:WhataboutyourteachersinPP1)Huh!YouknowmyfriendinthePPshetoldme“ListenifyoustudyPP1youjuststudyitnow.Takeofitnowbutwhenyoupassthissemesteryoumustforgeteverythingyou’vedoneeverythingyoutookit.”“Why”Itellher.Shetellme“Youwillseewhy.”AndthenreallyIfeellikeinPP1IfeellikeIdidn’ttakeanythinglikeit’s(K:veryeasyforyou)noit’snoteasylikeanintroduction.IntroductionforeverythingbutinPP2theytheystarthowtoreadhowtodo—

K:DoyoufeelsatisfiedwiththePP?CanyouthinkofanywaysthePPcouldhavehelpedyouabitmoretoprepareyoufortheuniversity?S:ErrnobecauseIhavemyfriendshe’sfailedfortheuniversityandherhusbandhetoldher“YouwillgobacktoPP”andshesaid“ListenifyouletmegobacktoPPIknowmyselfIwillnotdomyorder”becauseitwasasemesterforplayinglikethat(K:mmm)butifyouletme

gotofreshman1Iwillberesponsibleformythingsbecausethisisthereallife.(K:Whodidshesaythatto)ErrhernameisMshesaythistoherhusbandheisadoctorinuniversityinAmericaandhe’saveryexcellentguyhe’snowstudyingforhisdoctorate.(K:ButhewantedhertogobacktoPPwhy)BecauseherEnglishisnotgood.Shetoldhim“IfyouletmegobacktoPPIknowmyselfIwillnotbeserious.”

K:Sodoyouthinkyoutakemoreresponsibilityforyourlearningatuniversity?

S:Yah.Wemustgetvaluepointswemustgetgradeswemust—alotoforders.Sometimeswhenyouthinkaboutititiseasybutwhenyouwanttodoitit’stiringit’snoteasy(K:it’smoretiringthanthePP)yeah.

K:Doyouworkmoreindependentlynow?S:Whatdoyoumean(K:Doyouworkonyourown?)Likeusewebsitesand

social=(K:=yeahmorethanyoudidatthePP)ItoldyoubeforeIdon’tliketogobacktowebsitesorthedictionary.IjustliketodomyworkfrommynotesandfromwhatItookitdoyouremember?(K:Yeah)Theteacherjustsay“Gotothiswebsite.”Idon’tlikeyaʿnīevenIdon’tlikecomputers.Idon’tneedcomputerslikethat.NoreasonbutIhatecomputers.SinceIwassmallmamashetoldme“Learndolikethat.”Itellher“MamaIhatecomputers.Idon’twanttostudycomputers.”Shetoldme“Youwillneedthat.”Itoldher“OKwhenIneedIwillstudythat.”(K:Butyou’restudyingitnowaren’tyou?)Yesandit’sveryboring.SometimesintheclassIfeellikeIwanttocrybecauseeverybody’scross.Shetellus“Iwillmakethiscourseit’seasyforyoulikethat”butItellher“Whataboutthepeoplewhodoesn’tlikethiscoursewhohatethiscourse”Shesay“Iwillletthemloveit.”“AhOK.”[laughs](K:Butyouhavetodothecourse)Yesyouhaveto.

K:OKandcanyouthinkofanymistakesyoumadeinthePPthat

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youwouldn’tmakenow?NotonlygrammarmistakesImeananymistakes

S:Yeah.Iwasverystupidwhentheysaid(inthePP)“GotoSharifaHall.Youmustgetvaluepoints”andthenIgoandIstaymaybe1houror2hoursjustlisteningtosomethingformeisnotinteresting.IjustsaymyselfIwillgetpointsIwillstayIwilljustlistentomusiclikethatandthenafterthatmyfriendshetellme“Whyyoudothat.Youdon’tneed,justyouneedincollege.”Isaid“Whatreally?IwasjustworriedIamjustworkingtoomuchanddoeverythingjustforwhat.Fornothing.”(K:Sovaluepointsgiveyouahighergrade?)YeahyaʿnīifIgotforexampleBinACSthesevaluepointswillmaybehelpmetogetA(K:really?)YeahorB+likethat(K:andisthereamaximumnumberyoucanget?)(P)Errit’supto15%,25frommysubjectsandmyworkwithmycourseandtherestbyworkinggotolectureinSharifaHalllikethat(K:andwhatarethelecturesabout)Ohsomethingit’sveryboring[Klaughs]likethedoctorhecomeonetime,thisisfinebutIdon’thavetoknow,likeonetimeaboutAlzheimer,thedoctorhewasaSaudimanandhesay“YouknowIfeelsohappybecauseIseemorepeoplecometomyevent.Iwassohappyandthenoneoftheteachersshetoldme-Pleasedon’tbehappybecausewearelike—”HowdoyousayifIgiveyoumoneyyouwilldo(K:bribe?)yeshetell“Iheardaboutthebribeforvaluepoints”andthen[laughs]wealllaughedandsaid“Yeah[loweringhervoice]right.”(Hesaid)“Iknowyoudoitforvaluepointsnotforyou.”(K:Ohdearpoorman!)Noit’sOKit’sgoodheknow.

K:WhenIstartedtheresearchDrSsaidshewillgiveyouvaluepoints.Didshegiveyou?

S:Nowedon’tneedthatinthePP.Idon’tknowanythingaboutthat.K:Somylastquestionisdoyouthinkyou’vechangedinanywaysincethePP?S:Yeah[disconsolately]becausenowI’mjustthinkingaboutmyselfwhatI’mgonnado[intragictone]I’mgonnafailIcan’tdoitlikethatandthenI

say“No,IcanIwillhelpmyself[intragicmonotone]IwillaskAllahtohelpmeIwillworkwellIwillworktoomuchlikethat(K:soyoudon’tfeelsoconfidentnow)noandalsobythewaynowInowIhaveabreakmorethanthePPbutevennowinmybreakIdon’tliketostaywithanyoneIjustwanttostayalone.yaʿnīIstayinmybreakat10o’clockIstayjustonehouralone.IfsomeonecomesandsitwithmeIgetoutbecauseIdon’thaveyaʿnīI’mnotinthemoodtostaywithmyfriend.(K:Why)Likethat.Ifeel(P)(K:depressed?)yahnonotunhappyorsadit’slikeyouknowI’mnotinthemood.AlsoifI’mhungryI’llcutmylegbeforegoingtodining[Klaughs]andthencomeback.Iwillneverdoit.[Comictone]onetimeIwasveryhungry.WheredidIgo[speakingfast]IjustgoinmyclassIdidn’teatshetellme“Whydon’tyoucomeandeat”Itellher“It’shotandthere’ssunit’sveryfar.Doyouwantmetopassthisbigspacejustforeating?

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[Laughing]Areyoucrazy?Istayhere.Idon’thaveaproblem.”(K:Isitbecauseyoufindtheuniversityhard?)Ermit’shardnotbecauseofthisuniversityitselfnobecauseofmebecauseI’mnowintheuniversitynowI’mbigImusttakemoreresponsibilitylikethat(K:mmm)andnowmineislike,ermIcantakemore,noproblem.GivemeandIcantakenoproblemIcanwait(K:you’repatient)Idon’tknowṣabr(patience)I’mpatientyestoomuchalot(K:you’reverypatient)yahverypatientyouknowlikewhenIwastiredthisarmwashurtmebecauseoftheAC(airconditioner)Ididn’tgotohospitalbutthiswasverypainful(K:that’snotgood)yesIknowbutdoyouwantmetogotohospitaland[infedupvoice]staywaitingfordoctorsandthengetoutwithoutnothing?NomaybejustafewdaysandthenIwillbecomefine.LikethatIam.(K:SoisthisjustnoworfromSeptember?)Nonono.IamlikethatsinceIwassmallyaʿnī.SincethetimeIcometothislifeIamlikethat.ButnowIammorethanbeforebecauseofuniversity(K:mmm).AndsometimesIfeelheadacheIwantgetPanadol,Iaskmyfriend“Doyouhave?”andshetellmenoIsay“OKkhalāṣ.”OKmyauntieshetellme“Askthenurse.”Itellher“TsktskI’msotired.Doyouwanttoaskthenurse?Nokhalāṣnoproblem”(K:WesayinEnglish“Ican’tbebothered”=)=Noit’snotbotheredyouknowit’slikelazy[inwhinyvoice]“Ohyouwantmetoaskher?khalāṣno.”Likethatandthenshetoldme“Ooodoyouwantmetogooutsideandbringwater?”[Sspeaksveryfast]“Noneednoneed”youknowit’sverylazy

K:Yeahbutisitbecauseyou’restillinyourfreshmanyear?S:NownowIfeelthatifIfinishthisyearandthenstartstudymymajorI

thinkIwillbefineorIwillbemoreexciting(excited)butnowIfeelsolazyIdon’twanttodoanythingIjustwantwaitingformyclassesjuststayandgoformycourseslikethat

K:Soyourmotivationhasgonedownhasn’tit?(S:motivation?)yourdrive(S:mmmyeahit’sgonedown).Somaybenextyear—(S:yeahmaybenextyear—)[K&Slaugh]OKthanksSandra.3.NourSS5

Dec15th2012Myhouse3pm-24.03’K:OKNourtellmenowaboutyourstudiesintheuniversity.Isithard?No:Yah.Alltimesthestudyhard.Theyneedstudentshaveresponsibilityforassignments.Maybenobodyhelpyou.Onlyhelpyourself.(K:Isee)Maybelittlestudenthelpbuttheycannothelpalltime.K:ButifyouneedhelpwheredoyougoNo:Yougoteacherorlibraryorrestaurant(oncampus)maybeseethe

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friendsmaybesittogetherhelp.Maybeinclasscannothelpbecausethedoctorstheteachersisfasttalkmanymanymanyinformationinsidetheclass.Youcannottellthestudent“Whatyoudo”yaʿnīnot

understandeverything(K:Yes).Likethisyoucan’ttalktogether studentandlistentheteacher.

K:Canyouputyourhandupandask?No:Yesshe’srepeatmaybemoretimessherepeat.K:Butyouradvisor—No:DoctorSx.K:Doyougoandseeherifyouhaveaproblem?No:Yah.ItalkwithherbecauseIhave3subjectsBiologyIslamicPEIgetnotbettermark.BiologyIget4andahalfin20(K:intheexam?)Yes.Veryverybad.ButmyadvisorDrSxshegotoDrI,Biology,maybeshegiveextrawork.IgoandtalktoherandshewasOK.Ido

extraworkal-ḥamdulillāh.Islamic,DrSy,Italktoadvisor,shegotothedoctorgivemeextrawork.Idoital-ḥamdulillāh.Shegivemehigher

gradeItakeitgrade8or7(K:verygood).ButPEsherefuse.(K:Why)Becauseshetellshegivemeextraworkmanystudentsneedextra

work.K:Thereisaproblemwiththisteacher?No:Yeah.AllthestudentssayDraHsheisnotgoodwiththestudents.K:WhydoyouthinksheisnotgoodNo:Maybeit’sthelastyearsheteachatSharifaUniversityIdon’tknow.Itelltheadvisorsheistellme“Gotoduktūrah—”anotheradvisor

forgetname.Igointhe—yeahDraReverytimeshe’smeeting“Ihaveclass”“Icannotstay.”Likethat.IwanttodropthisPE.Ican’tcontinue.Alexsheiscrying(K:Iknow)allstudentsnotsheandmeallstudentsshe’sbetterinEnglishbutcannotdoexam.(K:It’sdifficult?)Yesit’sdifficult.Sheputitquestionforuniversitynotfreshmen(K:you’refreshmen).Yahdifferentfromquestionstrue/falsechoosecorrectwordlikethat(K:yes).Wenevertakeexamlikethat.(K:Thequestionsweredifficult?)Yeah.Wecannotunderstandwhatsheneed[raisesvoice].SheneedliketheMathorneeddivision(K:definition?)definitionorneedreasonsorneedsolve.[Pleading]Whatyouneed.(K:Onlyintheexam?)Inmid-term.Shenotgiveusquiznoquizonlyclassesclassesmaybe2classesin1weekor3classesIdon’thaveschedulebutafterthatit’smid-term(exam)

K:ButintheclassroomwhatdoesshedointheclassroomNo:Withmeinclass2AmericanonehernameisMandsecondIforgetname.Mcannotunderstand[ironicvoice]huheverythingshe

cannotunderstand[raisesvoice].Shetakeitthemid-termpaper“Whatyouneed.Whatyouneed”shetellDrA(theinvigilator).DrAsay“Don’ttalkintheexam.”Butshesay“Idon’tunderstandthe

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paper.”Iseelikethat.DrAtellme“Nourturn(around)”.Butshe’sAmericanshecannotsolveandIArabicslow[laughsaloud]Really![inhighpitch]Icannot!

K:Butcanyouaskherinclass“ExcusemeIdon’tunderstand.Canyouexplainit?”

No:Shetell“her-her-heranotherstudentcannottellher?”Likethat(K:oh!).[Nolaughsagain]“Her-hercananybodyexplainher?”OhmyGod!Ikeepitsilent.(K:IssheSaudi?)Urdunī(Jordanian)maybe.(K:ButshespeaksinEnglishtoyou)Englishonly.ShenotspeaktheArabic.Igointheoffice“PleaseduktūrahIcannotunderstandeverything.Pleasemayberepeat.Allmaybeunderstandbutmeandsomestudentsnotunderstandeverything.Pleasesayinsimplewordbecause(so)Iunderstand”She[inindifferentvoice]“7everything7Nour.”Icannot.Sometimes[laughs]forgetnameyeah?(K:Ofcourse)Icannotsayit’sthePEbecauseverynicesubjectyeah?(K:Yeahdoyoudoexercise?)Yeahexerciseallthebodyyou’relovingthesubject.Buttheteacher—Everybody“nonononottakeitnowthePE”.MaybeaftergoingDraHItakeitthePE.(K:Rightit’saproblem)AllmyfriendsNevineandLamaandSandraallnottakeitthePE.OnlymeandAlex[extensivelaughter].

K:[Laughing]That’sabigproblem!TellmeaboutEnglishtheACS.No:Ohbetternowal-ḥamdulillāh,becauseIlikeitthesubject.Youknow

why?Becausegrammarandvocabularyhowcanmakeasentenceaparagraphanessayanarticle(K:soalotofwriting)yah.(K:Whataboutspeaking)Yesgoodal-ḥamdulillāh.DoctorA“FirsttimeNouryoustudyhard,youstudyhardbutnowNouryou’rebetter”al-ḥamdulillāh(K:Goodyouhave—)motivationḥāfiz(K:yourmotivationisgoodyeah?)[Nolaughs]Yeahmotivationḥāfiz.Itakeitmymotivation(K:GoodyoulikeACS)andBiologyItakeitthehalfgradebutIlikeitthissubjectbecause(teacher’sname)she’sverynice.Shetellusabouthumanbody.(K:Youlikethesubjectyouliketheteacher)Yesandmygradeisbetter.Butyoucannotliketheteacher.IlikeitthesubjectbutIcannotlikeittheteacherIcannotgetgoodgrade

K:Soifyoudon’tliketheteacheryoucan’tgetgoodgrades(No:Yes)DoyoudoMaths?

No:[Smiles]OhMathsverynice.ItakeitmāshʾAllāhexcellent.(K:Good)Thehighgrade[laughs].ItakeinMathsinohmanymanysubjects.(K:ComputerScience)YesComputerScienceItakehighgrade.[NoshowsKschedule]Yousee.(K:MyGod!You’rebusy!)Yes[laughsalittlehysterically]Icannotmovelikethat.IslamicBiologyPEMathsBasketballACSArabicClubCS.IhaveanotheroneIdidn’twritehereOfficeAdmission.IworkOfficeAdmission.(K:Really?)YesItakeit10

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valuepoints.(K:Youhelpinadmissions)Yeswithsomestudents.(K:That’sexcellent).YesMonday2until3o’clock1houronly.(K:Sowhichstudentsdoyouhelp)Studentfreshmendon’tspeakEnglishatkallamʿArabī(IspeakinArabic)orItranslatesomeword.

K:SotellmeintheclassdoyoufeelthatyourEnglishisgoodenoughtounderstandordoyoufeeltheotherstudentsspeakEnglishmuch

betterthanyou?HowdoyoufeelNo:IfeelmuchbetterbecausesomestudentsmāshʾAllāhisinternationallikeinthesubjecttheACSmaybe3or4freshmenallthem3yearsuniversity2years(K:really?)4years.(K:Sotheyspeakwell?)Yes.

ShetalkDrAanyword“YesyesIunderstandIunderstand.”ItalktoDrA“I’mnotunderstand.”Shesays“Stoppleasebecausethegirlfreshmanstudent.”(K:Good)Yesshe’sagoodduktūrah.K:AnddoyouspeakEnglishorareyoushy?=No:=NonoIspeakEnglishmaybeIgoodorwrongIspeak(K:verygood).

She[smalllaugh]likemebecauseNournotshy.K:GoodbecauseAlextoldmethatsometimesshefeelsshytospeakbecausetheothergirlsinherclass—No:YestheyspeakverywellbutIamnotshy(K:good).Iloveitlikethat I’mnotshy[laughs]

K:Good.Nowtellmeaboutyourfriendsattheuniversity.DoyouhavethesamefriendsfromthePPordidyoumakenewfriends?

No:YessomestudentnewbutalltheoldinthePP.(K:youprefer?)YesIsittogethertalktogethersendtheemailormessagebutnew

studentsonlyhelptogether(K:Iseesoyoudon’tsendthemmessages)Nono.Butmaybesomestudents(K:you’restillnew)YesbutsheisIseeinuniversitydifferentthanPP.InPPmaybe3or4maybeLamaHalimasomestudentheneedthehelpbuthecannothelpbutheneed.Butinuniversitystudentcomedon’tknowyou(K:mmm)mātaʿriftijīʿaláṭūltibghatsāʿdik(theydon’tknowyoubuttheycomeupandwanttohelpyoustraightaway).(K:OKintheuniversity)Yes.InPPthereisbutsomenotbiggerbutinuniversitybiggerinstudentmaybe4or5insidetheclassandoutsidetheclassheneedhelpyou.(K:Shelikestohelpyou?)Yeah.ButinthePPallstudentlikefreshman.Heneedtotakethenewvocabularynewinformation.Allthesame(K:thesamelevel).Yesbutinuniversitymaybeinsidetheclasshere2yearshere3yearsheknowsmanyinformationhesay“OKseefirstyoucannotunderstandIhelpyou.AftertheclassIhelpyou”(K:good).Manygirlslikethat.Maybeinthehomeworkyousee[NoshowsKpaper]thisisanarticlesummarisingtodayACS(K:yeah)together2studentsworktogether(withme)insummarizing.Shetellmestudent“NourgivemeIwritethisone.Shewrite.Inotknowshe’sname.Sheiswriteeverything[laughs].

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K:Sothisisanactivity.Youhavetosummariseanarticle(No:yeah).Sodoyouworkinagroupusually?(No:Notusually.)Youworkalone?No:Yeah.Theduktūrahunderstandswhat(who)isverygoodwhat(who)

inthemiddleK:Yeahbutyousaidtomelasttime“Iprefertoworkinagroupwith

otherstudents.”No:Yesbeforefirstmonthgroupgroupgrouptogether(K:yeah).Butnowafterthemid-termitchanging(K:ah)yeahbecausesome

studentstell“Idon’tlikeitdoctorwritewiththegroup.”Someteacherschangesometeachernotchange.DraAstilllikethat“Worktogether.Youlikeworktogether.OKworkalone.(K:Soyouchoose?)Yes.InMathsworktogether,extraworkanything,worktogetherallstudent.

K:DoyoudoactivitieslikeinthePPinMsA’sclass?Yourememberyoudidaroleplay(No:Yes)andyouhadtoanswer10questions(No:aboutpollutionyeah?)Youdon’tdoactivitieslikethisintheuniversity?

No:Intheuniversitythereisactivitybutonlypaperorpresentation.Butaboutyourlifeno.

K:Butwouldyouliketodomoreactivitieslikethis?No:ThePPjustsimplewordsimpleextraworkandeverythingissimple.

Maybeit’slikefreshmanstudentsyah?Butinuniversitynodifferent.You’restudentuniversitynotstudenthighschoolallthetimetalktoyoulikethattheteacher.[Nolooksatherwatch]

K:AndI’djustliketoaskyouthelastquestionareyouenjoyingtheuniversity?No:Yesyesbecauseit’sdifferent.YoucannotenjoyalltimemaybehalftimeIenjoyinsidetheuniversitybecausenowEnvironmentandnowBasketball.IliketheexerciseanythingexerciseIlikeit.ButbeforeinthePPyoucannotgointhe—YeahIgointheBasketballbutIcannotplay.(K:Youcouldn’tplay)Yeah.ButnowIplayingbutInothavetime.(K:Doyouhavemorepressurethisyear?)Yahyahbecause

moresubjectsandIbuildingmyhouse(K:yeah)yesmydaughtershe’sbiggernowsheneednowstudyeveryday.(K:Soyoustudywithher?)Yesdoyouknowhowmanysubjectsthisyear?(K:Howmany)14subjects!(K:14?)Yesonefour.(K:She’sinGrade1?)Yes.Difficult.Shecannotunderstandeverything.ScienceMathsArabicQuraneverythingdifficult.

K:Shehasmoresubjectsthanyou![Bothlaugh](No:Yes)OKNourthankyouverymuch.

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4.NevineSS311Sept.20122pmSharifaPPclassroom18.37’

K:OKNevinesohowdoyoufeelnowthatyou’vejuststartedthecollegeNe:[Hasabadcold]IfeelquitehappybutIdidn’tmakefriendswiththegirlstillnow.K:WhyisthatNe:MaybebecausetheyarenewgirlsK:They’renewyeah.Ne:AndIhaveonly2friendsfrommyoldclass.K:Sodidyousittogetherwiththem?Ne:Yeah.K:Yeah.Sodoyouexpecttomakemorefriends?Ne:Yeahormaybenobecauseeverylecturehasadifferentclassanddifferentgirls.K:Isee.AndsofarhowdoyoufindtheclassesNe:IhavesomeproblemswiththecoursesK:OKtellmeaboutthemNe:IntheIslamiccoursetherearesomedifficultiestopassK:AndtheIslamiccoursedotheyteachitinArabic?Ne:NoinEnglishbutsomethingsareverynew.Ididn’thearaboutthem.K:OK.DidyoustudyIslamicStudiesatschool?Ne:No.K:Youwereinaninternationalschoolandtheydidn’thaveIslamicStudies?[Neshakesherhead]K:Ohreally?Sohowdoesthatmakeyoufeel?(P)Theothergirlsknowitdo

they?Ne:Yeah.IfeelI’mdisappointed[smalllaugh]K:ButotherclassesyouunderstandfineNe:Yeah.K:WhataboutBiologyand—Ne:It’snotverygoodbutI’mtryingtobebetterK:SowhyisitnotgoodNe:[withalittlelaugh]BecauseIdon’tlikeBiology.K:ButyouunderstandtheEnglishNe:YesIunderstanditwell.K:SowhichofyoursubjectsdoyoulikeNe:WhenIchoosemymajorIchooseEnglishbecauseIonlywanttostudy

English.Idon’twanttostudyMathsandBiologythat’swhy.K:Butarethereanyothersubjectsthatyoulikethatyou’restudyinghere?Ne:OnlyACS.K:WhatareyoudoinginACSNe:Readingnovelsdoingassignmentsparagraphsandsoon.

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K:Areyoudoinganystudyskills?Ne:Notyet.K:OK.AndatschoolyouusedtospeakEnglishwithyourfriendsdidn’tyou?

WhatabouthereNe:No.Arabic.K:You’vegotabadthroat.Ne:[withasmalllaugh]YeahK:OKwewon’ttalkforverylongthen.SowhenyouwereatthePPdidithelp

youwithyourstudiesatcollegenow?Ne:No.K:WhynotNe:Itdoesn’tprepareyouforcollege.K:WhatcouldtheydotohelpyoupreparemoreNe:ImprovethelevelofEnglishmaybebecauseit’sveryweakK:Isitallweakreadingwritinglisteningandspeaking?Ne:It’sallthesameIthink.K:WhatleveldoyouthinkitisNe:Intermediate.K:Isn’tthatOKforuniversity?Ne:Noit’stoolow.K:OKnowlet’sthinkbacktoyourtimeatthePPbecauseIdidn’tspeaktoyou

beforeandafteryourexams.Wereyouhappywithyourresultsinthefinalexams?

Ne:YeahIgotA+.K:Welldone.Sowerethefinalexamsquiteeasy?Ne:Yeah.K:WhatdoyouthinkyougainedintheListeningandSpeakingclasswithMs

A.Doyouthinkyoulearntalot?Ne:YeahIloveherclasses.K:WhyNe:Idon’tknow.She’sverylovelyandshehasaspecialwaytoteach.K:Ah!HowdoessheteachNe:Umshe’sveryserious.Shedoesn’tlaughalot.K:Ohyoudon’tliketeacherswholaughalot?Ne:[laughs]No.She’sagoodteacher.K:WhatmakesheragoodteacherNe:Herquestionsintheexamwereveryclever.K:Doyourememberanyofthequestions?Ne:ForexampleinoneofherexaminationsshewroteatitleIthinkitwas

abouthomelessnessandshewantedustowriteawholeparagraphaboutthiswordyouknow.Someofthestudentsgotveryweakgradesofcourse.

K:Didyouwriteabouthomelessnesshere?Ne:NoIwroteabouthomelessnessintheUnitedStates.

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K:Whatdidyouwritedoyouremember?Ne:Idon’trememberexactlybutIwroteaboutavideoIsawabout

homelessness.K:Avideothatyouwatchedinclass?Ne:NoIwatcheditathome.K:Great.AndatthePPyouhadmid-termexamsandfinalexamstwoweeks

each.Doyouthinktoomuchtimeistakenupwithexams?Ne:Nottoomuchtime.Thattimeisappropriate.K:SowhyisitimportanttospendsomuchtimeonexamsNe:Idon’tknow.Wehavelotsofmaterialandlotsofhours.K:ButwhataretheexamsforNe:TohelpuswithourEnglishK:AndyousaidtheListeningandSpeakingclasswasreallygood.Whatabout

yourReadingandWritingclassNe:It’sverygood.K:WhyisitgoodNe:MsLshegivesusalotofquizzesallthetimeandwewerereadingalotand

writingessays.K:HowdidyoudowiththeessayNe:Verygood.Ilikewritingessays.K:Good.WhataboutinPsychologyclassinthe2ndsemesterNe:Itwasgoodaswell.K:Didyoudoanymoreactivities?Ne:Wedidapresentationaboutthewholecourse.K:SowhatwasyourpresentationaboutNe:Itwasaboutwhatwe’dstudied.Whatdoesitmeanthewordpsychology,

that’swhatIpresented.K:WhataboutinCriticalThinking?Ne:Itwasgood.K:WhatwasitaboutNe:GrammarandarticlesK:Whatreadingarticles?Ne:Nonotreading,articlesandquestions.Itwasverydifficultforsomeofthe

students.K:AndwhataboutintheexamNe:HegaveusIthinkanarticleandsomequestionsandsometranslationK:OhsometranslationaswellNe:Yeah.K:SowhataboutinthesubjectTranslation.DidyoudoTranslation?Ne:Yeah.K:HowdidyoufindthatexamNe:AlittlebitconfusedK:Youwerealittlebitconfused.Why

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Ne:ErmI’mtryingtomemorizeallthepapersand—K:SomepeoplesaidthatthedoctorwhotookyouforTranslationinPP2he

madeitabitdifficult.Doyouagree?Ne:NoIdidwell.K:Butduringthesemesterdidyoufinditdifficult?Ne:NoIlovedthedoctorinCriticalThinking.K:ButwhataboutTranslationNe:Wedidn’thaveTranslationasacourseinthesecondsemester.K:No?Ne:Itwasthefirstsemesterwiththedoctor.K:Butyoudidn’thaveitinthesecond?Ne:No.IhaveTranslationasaquestiononthecourse.K:Soyoudidn’thavethatdoctorwhousedtousepassagesfromhisbook?Ne:ThatwasforassignmentsforextravaluepointsIthink.Wedidn’tstudyitintheclassandwedidn’ttakeitintheclass.K:OKsoyoudidn’thavethatintheexam?Ne:No.K:No.OKyoudidactivitieslikepresentationswhichyousaidareuseful.Ne:Yeah.K:WhatotheractivitiesareusefultodointheclassroomNe:Morewriting.K:Isthereanythingyouusedtodoatschoolthattheydon’tdohere?Ne:No.K:Andwhataboutathome.Yousaidthatsometimesyouwatchmovies.Ne:Yeah.K:Doyoustilldothat?Ne:Yeah.K:WhatkindofmoviesNe:Titanic.Ke:Titanic?You’restillwatchingthat?Ne:[laughs]YeahK:Doyouwatchnewmovies?Ne:YeahlikeSweetNovember.It’snotverynewandDaysofourLives.K:YesIknowthatmovie.AnddoyouspeakEnglishoutsidetheuniversity?Ne:Sometimes.YeahwiththewaitersMcDonalds—K:Butnotathome?Ne:Maybewiththemaid.She’sFilipino.K:Nooneinyourfamily?Ne:Yeahwithmyuncle’sdaughters.K:Yourcousins.WhydoyouspeakEnglishtothemNe:TheywerelivinginEnglandandtheycomefromoneyearagobecause—

erm—K:Sodotheygotoschoolhere?

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Ne:Yeahbutnothere.InX(anothercity).K:Soyoudon’tseethemmuch.Ne:Nomaybeeverymonth.K:OKgreat.(P)Yousaidthatyoulikeworkinginagroup.Ne:Yeah.K:Nowthatyou’reincollegedoyouworkingroups?Ne:NotyetK:Doyouwanttoworkinagroup?Ne:It’sOK.Idon’tmindK:Doyouprefertoworkonyourown?Ne:Individualworking.K:Youlikeindividualworking?WhyNe:BecauseIhavenofriendsrightnow.K:ButinthePPyouwerehelpingsomestudentsweren’tyou?Ne:Yeah.K:Wouldyouliketodothatagain?Ne:MaybeK:Heresomegirlscomedirectlytotheuniversity.Theydon’tgotothePP.So

doyoufindmostofthegirlsspeakEnglish?Ne:Oneofthem.She’sIndian.K:OK.Andwhendoyouexpecttograduate?In3years?4years?Ne:No[laughs].After2years.K:2years?HowcanyoufinishsoquicklyNe:Summercourses.K:Soyou’regoingtodosummercoursessoyoucanfinishquickly.Thenwhat

areyougoingtodo[Nevinelaughs]Iknow[laughs].Youwanttodoamaster’sright?InAmerica?

Ne:[laughs]Yeah.K:DoyouwanttocontinuewithEnglishLiterature?Ne:NomaybeIwanttocontinuewithEnglishLanguageteachingK:YesyousaidyouwantedtoopenaschoolNe:Yeah.K:Andyousaidyouneedtolearnmoregrammarandmorevocabulary.Do

youstillneedthatdoyouthink?Ne:Yeah.K:Andalsoyousaidthatyouwanttobemoreflexiblewithpeople.[Nevine

laughs]WhatdidyoumeanbythatNe:Err-Imeantoaccommodateyeah—K:AccommodatewhatNe:MorefriendlymaybeK:Youwanttobemorefriendly?Right.Anddoyouthinkanyonecanlearnto

speakEnglishwelliftheystudyhard?Ne:Yeahsure.

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K:Youdon’tthinkit’simportanttohaveaspecialtalent?Ne:YeahK:What’smoreimportanttohaveaspecialtalentortostudyhardNe:Tostudyhard.K:AndonelastquestionwhatdidyouthinkofthebooksyouusedinthePPNe:Uptillnowwehavenobooks.K:NothebooksyouhadinthePPtheReadingtheListeningandSpeaking

booksNe:Ohtheywereverygood.K:OKthankyouNevine.Ne:You’rewelcome.

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APPENDIXISampleanalysisandanalyticsummary

1. SampleAnalysisA. Sampleinterviewexcerpt

NourSS5:1SS5takesplacethreeandahalfmonthsafterNour’stransitiontouniversity.Mysitting-room.Sandrahasjustleftsowearealone.

K:OKNourtellmenowaboutyourstudiesintheuniversity.Isithard?No:Yah.Alltimesthestudyhard.Theyneedstudentshaveresponsibilityforassignments.Maybenobodyhelpyou.Onlyhelpyourself.(K:Isee).Maybelittlestudenthelpbuttheycannothelpalltime.

K:ButifyouneedhelpwheredoyougoNo:Yougoteacherorlibraryorrestaurant(oncampus)maybeseethefriendsmaybesittogetherhelp.Maybeinclasscannothelpbecausethedoctorstheteachersisfasttalkmanymanymanyinformationinsidetheclass.Youcannottellthestudent“Whatyoudo”yaʿnīnotunderstandeverything(K:yes).Likethisyoucan’ttalktogetherstudentandlistentheteacher.K:Canyouputyourhandupandask?No:Yesshe’srepeatmaybemoretimessherepeat.K:Butyouradvisor—No:DoctorSx.K:DoyougoandseeherifyouhaveaproblemNo:Yah.ItalkwithherbecauseIhave3subjectsBiologyIslamicPEIgetnotbettermark.BiologyIget4andahalfin20(K:intheexam?)Yes.Veryverybad.ButmyadvisorDrSxshegotoDrI,Biology,maybeshegiveextrawork.IgoandtalktoherandshewasOK.Idoextraworkal-ḥamdulillāh.Islamic,DrSy,Italktoadvisor,shegotothedoctorgivemeextrawork.Idoital-ḥamdulillāh.ShegivemehighergradeItakeitgrade8or7(K:verygood).

B. AnalysisNourSS5:1Regular:narrative-thematicItalics:interactionBoldcaps:dramaturgical/performativePrologue:It’shardInpre-interviewchatNourhastoldmethingsarereallyhardatunisomyquestion“isithard?”(SS5:1)isaskedsoshecanexpoundonherproblems.

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Nour’smainproblemisthatshecannotaccessregularsupport,especiallyinhernewlearningcontext,theuniversity,wherestudentsareexpectedtoworkindependently.EMO:DEJECTEDATT:CONCERNED.OBJ:KEEPUPWITHUNIVERSITYSTUDIESBUT

CONSARE:1. “THEYNEED”STSTOWORKMOREINDEPENDENTLYSO“NOBODYHELPYOU.

ONLYHELPYOURSELF.”2. OTHERSTSCAN’THELPINCLASSASHAVETOLISTENTOTEACHERWHOGIVES

OUTALOTOFINFO.VERYFAST“MANY,MANY,MANYINFORMATION”.CONSTRUCTSSELFASURGENTLYINNEEDOFHELP.FREQUENTUSEOFRELIGIOUSPHRASESINARABICSEEMSTOINCREASEHERVULNERABILITY.

Scene1:SupportatuniSTRAT:USESUPPORTSITES:TEACHER,LIBRARY,CAFETERIA“MAYBESEETHEFRIENDS,MAYBESITTOGETHER,HELP”BUTHELPIRREGULAR.TEACHERSCONSTRUCTEDASGENERALLYSUPPORTIVEINCLASS:“SHE’SREPEATMAYBEMORETIMESSHE’SREPEAT.”ADVISOR:MEDIATINGROLEBETWEENSTS&TS:NARRATIVE1:HUSTLINGFORBETTERMARKS.NOURSAYSDIDBADLYINBIOLOGY,ISLAMIC,FITNESS.SHE’SDIRECTABOUTBADRESULTS:4½OUTOF20INBIOLOGY“VERY,VERYBAD”.STRATS:RECOURSESTOBETTERINGMARK.TGAVEHEREXTRAWORK&RAISEDGRADE,SAMEINISLAMICSTUDIES.PRESENTSSELFASRESPONSIVE,ACTIVE:STRINGOFACTIONWORDS:“IDOEXTRAWORK.ITALKTOADVISOR.IDOITAL-ḤAMDULILLĀH.SHEGIVEMEHIGHERGRADE”(SS5:1).NOURASAGENTIVE,ASHUSTLER,ASSURVIVOR.Ourinteractionisfast-paced,Nourseemstounderstandmyquestionswellnow.PerhapsI’mmoreawareaslistener&morefamiliarwithcontext.ItrynottoshowjudgementoverlowmarksonlyapprovalwhenNourtellsmesheimprovedonmark.NOURPRESENTSHERSELFASAGENTIVEINHERPURSUITOFHIGHERMARK.SHEIS‘SYSTEM-WISE’KNOWSHOWTOUSEIT.USEOF“GIVE”AND“TAKE”.

2. AnalyticSummaryInPrologueconstructsselfasindesperateneedofhelpwithuniversitystudies.DEJECTED,ANXIOUS.CONS:1.expectedtoworkmoreindependently,2.can’tgetin-classpeerhelp,3.irregularout-of-classhelp-FREQUENTUSEOF‘MAYBE’SENSEOFUNRELIABILITY.Constructsteachersassupportive,advisorasmediator.Narrative1:EMPHASISESHER“VERYVERYBAD”EXAMRESULTSTHENPERFORMSHERSELFASAGENTIVEINPURSUITOFHIGHERMARKS-USESSTRINGOFACTIONWORDS,PACEQUICKENS&SHOWSTHATHERACTIONSPAIDOFFE.G.“SHEGIVEMEHIGHERGRADE”.NOURASAGENTIVE,SYSTEM-WISEHUSTLER&SURVIVOR.Idon’tshowjudgementoverheraccountofteachersgivingstudentsextraworktoimproveonmarks.Praiseherforher‘achievement’.

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APPENDIXJAmericanLibraryAssociationRomanizationTable–Arabic (TheLibraryofCongress,2012)

(Adapted from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romanization_of_Arabic)

Letter Name ALA-LC hamzah ʾ 1ء alif ā 2 ا bāʾ b ب tāʾ t ت thāʾ th ث jīm j ج ḥāʾ ḥ ح khāʾ kh خ dāl d د dhāl dh ذ rāʾ r ر zayn/ zāy z ز sīn s س shīn sh ش ṣād ṣ ص ḍād ḍ ض ṭāʾ ṭ ط ẓāʾ ẓ ظ ʿayn ʿ ع ghayn gh غ fāʾ f ف qāf q ق kāf k ك lām l ل mīm m م nūn n ن hāʾ h ه wāw w; ū; aw و yāʾ y; ī; ay ي

tāʾ marbūṭah h; t ة alif maqṣūrah á ى

-alif lām al ال

Note the romanization Allāh alone and in combination e.g. māshāʾAllāh. The prime symbolʹis used to separate two consonants when they do not form a

digraph e.g. akramatʹhā in which the t and the h are two distinct consonantal sounds.

1In initial position hamzah is not represented in romanization.2alif is not represented when used to support hamzah.

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