Unfinished 55 - A Publication of the Mission Society

7/30/2019 Unfinished 55 - A Publication of the Mission Society

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A publication o The Mission Society Spring 2013 | 55

Caring or the missionarys soulFresh ways to think about participating in Gods mission


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UNFINISHEDSpring 2013, Issue 55

Publisher/CEO

Dick McClain

EditorRuth A. Burgner

Associate EditorReed Haigler Hoppe

DesignLaura Means

Prooreaders

Theresa Gardner

Beverly Mancuso

Ari Morsella

Founding President/President EmeritusH.T. Maclin

Unnishedis a publication o The Mission Society.

Subscriptions are ree upon request.

Send subscription requests, change o

addresses, and all correspondence to P.O.Box 922637, Norcross, Georgia 30010 or

call 800.478.8963 (FAX 770.446.3044). The

Mission Society is unded entirely by gits

rom individuals and local congregations.

All gits are tax-exempt and are grateully

acknowledged. Unnishedis a member-

publication o the Evangelical Press

Association. Please visit The Mission Society

online at: themissionsociety.org.

The Mission Society sta: Ed and Linda

Baker, Ron Beatty, Debra Bembenek, Ron

Braund, Dennis Brown, Ruth Burgner, Tracy

Byrd, Richard Coleman, Doug Cozart, Frank

Decker, Vicki Decker, Theresa Gardner, Jo Ann

Helveston, Lauren Helveston, Kate Hilder-

brandt, Reed Hoppe, Sylvia Hyles, Brenda Lee,Beverly Mancuso, Dick McClain, Lauren Mead,

Laura Means, Ari Morsella, Leslie OConnor,

Lori Potts, Ivar Quindsland, Jim Ramsay,

Shawn Ramsay, Andrew Randall, Stan Sel,

Becky Stephen, Lewis von Herrmann, Darrell

Whiteman, Allison Wiggins, Steve Wilson,

Roger Wright

The Mission Society board o directors:

Robert Aboagye-Mensah, Accra, Ghana;

Jorge Acevedo, Cape Coral, FL; Paul Baddour,

Heathrow, FL; Ed Bell, Georgetown, SC; Jim

Davis, Dalton, GA; Jan Gilbert, Aiken, SC;

William M. Johnson (board chairman), Canton,

GA; Joe Kilpatrick, Tucker, GA; Joo Carlos

Lopes, Curitiba, Brazil; H.T. Maclin, Decatur,

GA; Dick McClain, Stone Mountain, GA;DonMcGehee, Ruston, LA; Neal Reynolds, Atlanta,

GA; David Roller, Baltimore, MD; Nicole Sims,

Hamburg, Germany; Helen Rhea Stumbo,

Fort Valley, GA; Richard Weber, Sandy Springs,

GA; Max Wilkins,

Gainesville, FL

Cover photo:

Ayli and Soraya

McEuen serve in

ministry with their

parents, Ash and

Audra, and two other

siblings, Kia and Todd,

in Peru. To learn about

lie as a missionary kid, see page 26.

Join us in The Mission

When you partner with The Mission Society, not only do you join us in The

Mission to oer Christ to the world, but you join us in embracing our core values.

Our visionThe kingdom o God advancing among all peoples bringing about redemption and

reconciliation through Jesus Christ

Our missionThe Mission Society exists to mobilize and deploy the body o Christ globally to join

Jesus in His mission, especially among the least reached peoples.

Our core values

INCARNATION

The Mission Society seeks to minister to others by ollowing the example o Jesus,

who ully entered the human experience. In our cross-cultural ministry, we are

committed to learning the local language, living among the people, ministering inculturally appropriate ways, demonstrating love or God and neighbor, and

disciple-making among the nations.

INTEGRITY

The Mission Society desires to reect the holiness o God in all we do. Personally

and corporately we endeavor to make the character o Christ maniest in our lives

and our ministry.

PASSION

We are not complacent about the One who matters supremely or the work God has

given us to do; nor is our ministry prompted simply by duty, or even obedience.

Our lie together and our ministry are marked and motivated by passion or Godand Gods mission. We are passionate about Jesus, our mission, and all those

involved in the journey with us.

PEOPLE

The Mission Society believes that people are o primary value. Because people

matter to God, people matter to us. Our cross-cultural workers, sta, donors,

volunteers, prayer partners, and those we seek to reach are o greatest worth to us.

Because relationships and not ormulas are our method, The Mission Society

exudes an entrepreneurial culture where every member is encouraged to discern

and pursue Gods unique direction or his or her ministry.

PARTNERSHIPSince it is the kingdom o God that we are called to express and extend throughout

the world, our ministry is about more than ourselves and our organization. We

believe that working together enhances our witness and strengthens our ability to

make disciples o all nations. The Mission Society thereore pursues partnership in

ministry endeavors with churches, nationals, Christian organizations, and

individuals.

PRAYER

It is only through the power and presence o the Spirit o Christ that we can live up

to the high and holy intentions embodied in these values. We acknowledge our

absolute dependence on God and seek both His guidance and His strength each

day. Thereore, The Mission Society is a praying community.


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World 32Facebook and missions What kind o r iend are you?

Church Ministry 34

10 ways or a local church to care or a home-grown missionaryA message or every congregation

Calling 36Ready, set, go explore A potentially lie-changing message or you

and the young people in your lie

Follow us:

@tms_world

acebook.com/themissionsociety

Read our blog at themissionsocietyblog.com

Special thanks to Ayli McEuen,

missionary kid in Huancayo, Peru,

or the use o her photos

in the eatures o this issue.

Table o Contents

Perspective 2What missionaries don't tell you Assume everything is not as

idyllic as it sometimes seems.

How can we fnd our way? 10What happens to missionaries when disillusionment becomestheir constant companion?

Trapped in China 12One missionary couple describes their impossible situation.

Lost in India 14Disoriented and discouraged, missionaries question their sense

o direction.

Top 10 ways to care or your missionary 16We surveyed our missionaries. Heres what they told us.

Top 10 items to include in a care package 19

Here's a handy list or your next parcel.When hope begins to stir 20Missionary care can happen through listening.

The joy o true communion 23Home teams are a new concept to most. Heres an inside look .

News 30

New manager o member care named 30

Missionary presents paper at international missions gathering 30

The Mission Society celebrates 25 years o ministry in Paraguay 30

Investing in eternity 31

By this everyone will know that you are my disciples,

i you have love or one another.

John 13:35, NRSV

A dierent world 26Third culture kids speak about a lie only a select population

can relate to.

Awake, my soul 4Larry Crabb introduces a way o talking to one another

that can stir our appetite or God.


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Perspective By Dick McClain

2 Spring 2013 themissionsociety.org

What missionaries dont tell you

Doubts, struggles, and tales o the worst days dont usually make it into the newsletters.Even so, assume everything is not as idyllic as it sometimes seems. Ministers need ministering, too.

One missionary in 20 is being lost

rom missionary service each year,

and lack o home support tops the

list o reasons why missionaries leave,

according to researcher W.D. Taylor

in Too Valuable to Lose. The more

missionaries are cared or, the more

likely they will continue in the ministry

to which they have been called. This

issue is about how you can help

minister to missionaries.

It was the spring o 1972. Pam and I had

moved to the Panama Canal Zone the

previous summer aer my rst year o

seminary in order or me to become the

youth pastor at the Curundu Protes-

tant Church, that ministered primar-

ily to American military and Panama

Canal Company amilies. Working in

an American church with American

students, we werent exactly missionar-

ies. But we lived in Panama, we were

ar rom both o our homes, and lots

o missionaries who served in Panamawere associated with our church. So we

elt like missionaries.

Very soon aer arriving in Panama,

we had decided to try to start our am-

ily. Eight months later, Pam was seven

months pregnant.

All went well until Pam began bleed-

ing a month into her third trimester.

Tat put her at on her back in Gorgas

Hospital. She was on complete bed

rest and we hoped and prayed that she

would be able to carry our baby to term.

Her days in Gorgas soon became a week

and then two weeks and then three. At

one point, her doctor told me privately

that we had about a 50/50 chance o

the baby being born prematurely. So

I prayed and prayed. I cried a lot too,

although usually not when I was with

Pam. My positivity trait remained in

ull swing when we were together. But I

remember that in the evenings, when Iwould leave the hospital and drive home

to our little trailer, I elt very alone. And

araid. And conused. So I prayed. And

I cried. And I loved on Pam and tried

to be encouraging, and I prayed some

more.

Te good news is that aer three

weeks the bleeding stopped. Pam came

home, and she carried the baby to term.

On May 9, 1972, our son Josh was born.

How God showed up

Te other good news is that during

that season that was so dicult or us

as a young couple living overseas, we

learned a lot about caring or others.

Several precious people reached out to

us and, in very tangible and loving ways

cared or us. Tere was Marie. She had

become sort o a surrogate mom to Pam

while we were in Panama. And Vicki,

who helped Pam (and me) prepareor a natural delivery. (Incidentally,

American military hospitals in 1972

werent very big on husband coached

childbirth.) And then there were Claude

and Gordon, both single men who

were members o our church. (Both o

them ended up marrying missionary

women.) Tey showed up at our trailer

one evening and handed us an envelope


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3themissionsociety.org Spring 2013

Tey said they wanted to help with the

hospital bills. We needed the help, so

they were like messengers sent rom

heaven. But they didnt just give us anenvelope; they gave us their hearts, love,

support, and prayers.

By Gods grace and with the help o

people who cared or us, we made it

through an incredibly dicult period.

oday, as I look back on those weeks,

I can recall how hard they were, and

how araid and alone I elt at times. But

mostly I remember how God showed

up through Marie, Vicki, Claude, and

Gordon to love on us and to walk with

us through those days. We made it, and

they are a big part o the reason why.

I we were to write the story o our

two years in Panama, it would tell o

a glorious time when we saw Jesus do

amazing things in the lives o scores o

students. But what God did through

us isnt the only story o those days.

Equally important was what God did

in us, what God taught us as He carried

us through whatat the timewas the

hardest season o our lives, and how He

called His people to care or us in our

time o need.

Te pages oUnnishedtypically

tell the stories o what God is doing

through our missionaries. Tis issue,

however, is more about what God is do-

ing in them, particularly during those

dicult seasons that arent typically

chronicled in their newsletters or blogs.Its about how missionaries themselves

need to be cared or and ministered to.

Where we come in

Missionaries get tired. At times they

grow discouraged or eel deeated. Im

convinced the enemy works overtime

against them, with the result that they

are sometimes wounded.

God never intended missionaries

to be super heroes who somehow just

manage to pull themselves up by their

bootstraps. Can you imagine Jesusturning his back on someone when they

were discouraged, deeated, or when

they had allen? Never!

Missionariespeople whose voca-

tion is all about ministering to others

also need to be ministered to. Tats

where you and I come in. We need to

have skin in this game also, and one

important way in which we can express

that is through caring or the missionar-

ies who we send.

One o Te Mission Societys core

values reads, in part, Te Mission So-

ciety believes that people are o primary

value. Because people matter to God,

people matter to us. Because thats true,

how is it expressed? What does really

valuing people look like when it comesto caring or our missionaries?

In the pages that ollow, youll hear

rom missionaries who experienced

healing and restoration because people

stood with them and cared or them,

especially during the hard times. And

youll get to meet some o the people

on our team whose calling and passion

is to minister to missionariespeople

who have opened their homes and their

hearts to missionaries in ways that

brought help and healing.

Our debt o gratitude

Its dangerous to single particular people

out or recognition when so many (and

not just those whose job is member

care) play a part day in and day out in

caring or our missionaries. Neverthe-

less, two people within our community

deserve special recognition or the

remarkable way in which they have

poured their lives out in care and coun-

sel and compassion or our missionary

community. Im speaking o Lauren and

Jo Ann Helveston.

I rst met the Helvestons when I

stayed in their home in Kumasi, Ghana,

in 1987. Years later Lauren joined our

staf as director o mobilization. In 2006

he became our pastor to missionaries,

assisted by Jo Ann. In the years since

then, the Helvestons have become the

heart and hands o Jesus to countless

missionaries, some o whose stories

youll read in the pages that ollow.

Te Mission Society owes an ex-

traordinary debt o gratitude to Lauren

and Jo Ann, and on behal o our entire

community, I applaud and thank them.

Now that their role is changing, I am

grateul that they have elected to inch

their way toward retirement rather than

jumping in head rst. So while Lauren

has stepped down rom his position asdirector o pastoral care, he and Jo Ann

will continue to debrie our missionar-

ies and work with missionaries home

teams. I youre wondering why that is

such a big deal, read on. U

The Rev. Dick McClain is president and

CEO o The Mission Society.

The pages oUnfnished typically

tell the stories o what God is doing

through our missionaries. This issue,

however, is more about what God

is doing in them, particularly during

dicult seasons. Its about how

missionaries themselves need to be

cared or.


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Introducing a way o speaking lieinto each other, one conversation at a time


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An excerpt rom Soulalk, by Larry Crabb

Lie is all about knowing God, writes Larry Crabb. Everyhard thing we endure can put us in touch with our desireor God, and every trial can strengthen that desire until itbecomes the consuming passion o our lie.Te greatest commitment I can make in my lie, continues

Crabb, is to discover my desire or God and indulge thatpassion with all my soul. And the greatest miracle that can

happen is to have my passion stirred, ignited, and releaseduntil I actually eed on God.You can do that or me. And I can do it or you. We can

learn to talk with each other in ways that arouse our passionor God until it becomes the most powerul desire in oursoul.

Crabb calls this way o talking to each other Soulalk,which, he says, is the only really honest language. He

describes the components o Soulalk in his book by thesame name.

Several years ago, Soulalk was part o the Christmasgi sent to our worldwide amily o missionaries rom TeMission Society headquarters. We bring you this shortcompilation to ofer a glimpse o how all o us, througheveryday conversations, can disciple one another.


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Its time or a revolution in relationships, or Christians across

the world to release their passion or God and to ignite the

passion in others, to speak with power into each others lives.

But it will take some honest soul-searching. oo many o

us think were doing ne in our conversations when all were

speaking is Selalk.

Meister Eckhart, a wise medieval spiritual director, once

said, God is at home; it is we who have gone out or a walk.

Weve all le home. Were not even looking or the ace o God.

Second things have become rst in our afections! Selalk

is the language we speak when we dont realize that what we

really want is God. We speak it more uently, more religiously,

when we think we want God but in act want to use him to

grant our wish list. Selalk, religious or secular, is the lan-

guage o people who have le home and are trying to make a

rented apartment eel like home.

Its time to return, to come home to

our own soul, where God has chosen to

live, and to speak rom our soul to the

souls o others. I we do, we will ignite a

revolution.

One mans struggle

im Burke is a riend o mine. Aer pitching in major league

baseball with the New York Mets and the Minnesota wins,

he nished his all-star career with the New York Yankees. Heretired early to spend more time with the ve children he and

Christine had adopted.ajor League Dad, a book published

by Focus on the Family, tells his remarkable story o love and

sacrice.

Te rest o the story, however, is not widely known. Te

our older children were diagnosed with Reactive Attachment

Disorder, a condition that, in their childrens case, was severe

enough to require long-term institutional care. im and

Christina were devastated. Ten the youngest, a sweet little

girl born with hal a le arm, sufered permanent brain dam-

age during surgery when she was 10 months old.

im reeled under the pressure. His aith took a beating, his

marriage entered a dark tunnel, his nancial resources were

nearly exhausted, and or a long time im woke up every

morning wishing he were dead. During his separation rom

his wie, Christine, he was pulled over while driving intoxi-

cated.

What battle was going on in ims soul? Tat question

became personally important to me when God gave me the

opportunity to meet with im or cofee-shop Soulalk or

two years.

How to respond?

Imagine that youre sitting down with im. Your heart goes

out to him as he tells his story and shares his pain and ailure.

Youre not sure what to say. Everything

you think to say sounds simplistic,

powerless, and clich. You eel inad-

equate. You want to say something that

will make a diference. You wish he were talking to Solomon.

What do you do?

Resist the urge to run!

Resist the urge to help!

Resist the urge to reer [or counseling]!

Tink beneath. Te lie o God is in you. You long to speakthat lie into ims soul with power. But you have no idea what

that means. You dont know what to say. Your natural tenden-

cy is to gure it out, to come up with the right words. Dont

give in to that pressure. Direct your mind toward something

else.

Tink beneath more. You believe the lie o the Spirit is

within you; you believe he is moving. But where? Into what?

What battle is going on in ims soul? Tat's the thing to think

about and to explore with im.

Every conversation either stimulates or

dampens our desire or God.

SelTalkis the language we speak

when we dont realize that

what we really want is God

SoulTalkis the language we speak

when our words are ormed by a passion

to see another want God more than anything


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Soulalk waits. It is patient. We dont set the timetable or

change. Tats the Spirits work. Te pressures of. We can

relax.

Move right to the center o the battle. Ask yoursel the key

question: What does im want most? o be closer to God and

more like his Son? Or something else?

Ask the same question diferently, again to yoursel, not out

loud. Is the person youre speaking with more interested in

communion with God that will satisy his soul or in coopera-

tion rom God that will improve his lie and a convenient plan

he can ollow that will bring it about?

Natural vs. supernatural thinking

When lie is hard, the most natural thing in the world is to

want relie, to want the diculties to ease up and a ew things

to go our way. When lie is going well, the most natural thing

in the world is to want whatevers going

well to continue going well. And in both

cases, wed preer to be aware o some-

thing we can do that would increase

the odds o gaining relie or keeping

blessings. Dependence on another has never proved reliable.

Independence, sel-suciency, is a much better plan. Tats

the natural way to think.

Whether lie is bumpy or smooth, the most supernatural

thing we can do is to want to know God better, to value hispleasure and his purposes above everything else, and to want

directions or the journey into His presence more than a

plan or making lie work. O course im wanted his lie to

improve. Tats not sinul or wrong. Its normal. Te question

is, did he want God more?

Abraham wanted his son to live, but he wanted to know

God more. Mary wanted to avoid the humiliation o a preg-

nancy beore marriage, but she wanted to surrender to God

more. Jesus wanted to avoid the experience o being treated

like a sinner by his Father, but He wanted to please Him more

Adam wanted to stay in communion with God. But he

wanted what he perceived to be the advantages o control

more. And with that choice, Adam brought the ercest battle

being raged, between Satan and God, into human existence.

And thats the battle, the battle o competing desires.

The battle o competing desires

Every ollower o Jesus has two sets o desires: the desire to

know God and to experience intimate communion with the

rinity, and the desire to hear the specic calling o the Spirit

in our lie, to be so anchored in the hope o eternal joy and to

be so in love with Jesus now that we endure every hardship as

a privilege and as an opportunity to become more like Christ.

Tats in us. Its in me. Its in you. But theres something

else. We want this lie to go well. We long to eel a certain way

to handle tough situations in com-

mendable ashion; to become a riendly,

good, uncomplaining person; to enjoy

at least a measure o success in whatever

matters to us; to be noticed and wanted;

to eel personal value and worth; to experience the pleasure

o good amily, good riendships, good health, good income,

and good ministry; to eel less stress and more peace, less

emptiness and more joy.

Both sets o desires are legitimate. We must understandthat. Never think o yoursel as unspiritual because you hurt

over lost blessings and pray ervently or restored blessings.

O course you want to eel good. Tats how you were de-

signed by God.

Te battle begins when the desire or blessings in lie be-

come the ruling passion o our heart. Its happened in all o us

beginning at birth. You want that? Good! Heres how to get

it. And when you get it, youll experience lie.

Jesus taught that the core longing o our soul is the desire

The battle begins when the desire or

blessings in lie become the ruling

passion o our heart.

It would seem that our Lord nds our desires not too strong,

but too weak. We are hal-hearted creatures, ooling about

with drink and sex and ambition when innite joy is ofered us,

like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies

in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the

ofer o a holiday at the sea. We are ar too easily pleased.

C.S. Lewis, The Weight o Glory, and Other Addresses


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to know God, not the desire to eel loved, not the desire to

experience meaning, not the desire or the pleasures o amily,

riends, or success, but the passion to know God as high and

lied up and to place ourselves beneath him, resting in his

goodness and available or his purposes.

Call that rst-thing desire. Call every other longing o

the heart second-thing desires. When each desire is in place,

we are spiritual people, not religious.

But that never happens, not ully, until heaven. Its always

a struggle to honor our desire or knowing God as abso-

lutely primary and to genuinely regard every other desire as

secondary. Te central battle in the souls o Jesus ollowers is

the battle to keep the rst-thing desire in rst place and the

second-thing desires in second place.

Te central evil in the human soul is the natural tendency

to elevate second-thing desires to rst place and to pursue

their satisaction as i the well-being o our soul depended on

it.

Te central deception in every soul is to believe that

second-thing desires belong in the rst place, to be deeply

convinced that the core well-being o our soul does in act

depend on their satisaction.

And the central point o Soulalk is to awaken and nour-

ish the rst-thing desire until the passion or God becomesconsuming, the ruling passion o the soul, stronger than every

other desire.

Religious vs. spiritual impulses

As I look over the Western church, and as I look at my own

heart, I hear the message o religion: Get it reasonably right,

and lie will go reasonably well. When I ollow my religious

(verses spiritual) impulses, I either eel smugly condent or

angrily deeated. Either my lie is ull o wonderul bless-

ings and I believe I have the inside track on Gods avor be-

cause Im living acceptably, or things are tough and Im mad

at God because I thought I was doing pretty well and mad at

mysel or missing the mark.

I that kind o thinking is going on in ims soul, it needs to

be deeated and replaced with a very diferent understanding

o lie.

Notice rst that the incentive driving religion is not com-

munion with God; it is the blessings o lie. We believe Satans

lie that there really is something to be treasured above know-

ing God, becoming like Jesus, and abandoning ourselves to

the Spirit. Enjoy whatever your experience tells you will bring

the richest pleasure to your soul. Tats how religion denes

lie.

For im, at one time that meant sacricing ame and or-

tune to adopt ve kids with dreams o celebrating happy am-

ily times around the Christmas tree and watching God restore

the lives o troubled children. Had his dreams come true, im

might be a contented religious man.

When things ell apart, he became a deeated religious man

still believing something should work to bring him lie but

now convinced it would never happen.

im is now an imperect but growing spiritual man, or

one big reason: He has rejected the devils lie that lie consistso making things work and now believes that lie is all about

knowing God better, no matter the cost, and moving in the

challenges o lie to urther Gods purposes, not his. U

Dr. Larry Crabb is a well-known psychologist, author, Bible

teacher, seminar speaker, and is the ounder/director o New Way

Ministries. The preceding was a compilation o excerpts rom

SoulTalk: The language God longs or us to speak, published by

Thomas Nelson, 2003. Used by permission.

SoulTalkopens up a new dimension o communicating with others in discussing lie

issues. It shows how to hear, really hear, what is being elt by another person. The

contrast between SoulTalk and SelTalk is potentmaking me realize how easily I

serve mysel, even in ministry, rather than ocusing on what God wants and how I can

truly bring glory to Him. This is a must read or any Christian desiring to walk with God!

online reviewer


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When we rst arrived on the eld,

the title missionary seemed to

translate to the local people as pastor/

counselor/psychologist. We had a lineo people at our door who wanted

and needed a listening ear, advice,

and counseling on the deep issues

that aected their lives, says Mission

Society missionary Laurie Drum.

It didnt take long or me to

succumb to compassion atigue. I

just couldnt live with the weight o

not knowing what to say and how to

help, yet people continued to come

to the door and share their problems

and tears with me. Eventually, I closed

mysel in and shut everyone else out

in an eort to sel-protect. Not a good

place to be as a missionary!

When The Mission Society oered

coaching training in 2011, Billy and I

attended. This was the training that

we needed! We now had the tools and

skills to help others and ree ourselvesrom the incredible burden o having

all o the answers.

We each immediately began

coaching people in places all around

the globe via Skype and telephone.

We also had coaches or ourselves, so

that we could be coached and tend to

our own issues and personal growth.

Not only was coaching working in

one-on-one situations, but it was

empowering teams that we worked

with to grow and move orward in

positive ways.

Coaching has become a natural

part o our lives now. It is so honoring

and validating o the other person

because o the huge ocus on listening

and empowering. It has changed

relationships around us and helped

others to grow and become more owhat God wants or them.

The Mission Society rst began

a coaching program with the help

o Creative Results Management in

2010. Since that time, The Mission

Society has trained all o our regional

leadership teams, some sta, and

additional missionaries around the

world.

I you are interested in being

trained as a certied coach or taking

coaching classes, we recommend

Creative Results Management

(creativeresultsmanagement.com),

or Coaching Mission International

(coachingmission.com). U

Speaking lie

How coaching is helping missionaries care or themselves and others

Billy & Laurie Drum

Billy and Laurie Drum served a ve-

year term in Peru and are transitioning

to Spain to serve immigrant and

reugee people groups rom northernArica. The Drums also serve their

missionary colleagues in a member-

care and leadership development

capacity. Billy and Laurie are both

certied teachers, trainers, Christian

lie and leadership coaches, and

Christian counselors. They use their

experience, skills, and passion or

people to share the love o Christ.

Ravi & Mercy David

Ravi and Mercys ocus is to equip and

encourage people serving in various

ministries, especially leaders and their

amilies in the Asia Pacic Region.This is done through ormal seminary

teaching, consultancy, mentoring,

counseling, intercession, and pastoral

care.

Denny & Cindy Heiberg

Denny and Cindy have been serving

in pastoral ministry or the past 22

years within the United Methodist

Church in Kentucky and Florida. Theirmission is to equip and mobilize an

intentional movement o disciple-

making ollowers o Jesus throughout

the global church. The Heibergs use

their training in coaching as member-

care consultants with The Mission

Society and as they disciple Christians

around the world.

Mission Society missionaries serving through coaching:


12/40

What happens to missionaries whendisillusionment becomes their constant companion?


13/40

11

Ministry is hard. Add in: oreignlocation, oreign language,culture shock, homesickness, unamiliareverything. Maybe slowly at rst, thenmore and more, ear can come, big andsufocating. Next, without warning, waves

o discouragement can crash in, ollowedby waves o guilt. Missionaries can beginto think: Tere is no way through this. Wecannot go orward, and we cannot go backto the United States. Everyone is expectinggreat things.

In 2006, Lauren Helveston, veteranpastor and missionary and then-director o mission mobilization or Te

Mission Society, proposed a pastoralcare initiative which would add to the

care being ofered to Mission Societymissionaries. Ten in 2007, an entiremember care and development divisionwas launched, which today is stafedby six ormer missionaries and severaloutside consultants. Te hope o the

team members is to help the souls o themissionaries thrive. We seek to nurtureand develop our members in spiritual,physical, emotional, and relational health,enabling ruitul ministry to ow romtheir lives, says the Rev. Frank Decker,who heads the division.

We asked two o our missionarycouples to tell o their journeys through

a wilderness o discouragement. Here aretheir stories.


14/40


In 2004 my wie and I were burnt out, discouraged, and eel-

ing rather hopeless about our ministry in China. We had lived

there or about two-and-a-hal years and were eeling over-

whelmed by everything going on around us. We had so much

stress in our lives rom living in a oreign

culture with two little children, dealing

with being away rom amily and riends,

and trying to handle conict among the

oreign mission population in our small,rural town. We were lonely, depressed,

and anxiety ridden. We didnt know what

to do, but we were sure we couldnt stay

in our current situation.

We elt like ailureslike we had ailed the Lord and ailed

Te Mission Society. We knew that we needed to leave the

eld and that we needed emotional help. We put of making

the call to the home oce, because we were so disappointed

in ourselves and worried about the response we would get on

the other end o the line when conveyed that we planned to

return to the States. By not reaching out or help sooner, we

only made matters worse.

We nally called and talked to a membercare staf member,

and his gentle response in the midst o

our chaotic time was lie-giving and the

rereshing cup o cold water that we need-

ed. We elt so much love and knew that

we were important to Te Mission Societyas peoplenot just as workers with a task

to accomplish. We were genuinely cared

or. Tat love and care helped us to make

healthy decisions or our amily or the

rst time in a long while.

We came back to the States and went to a debrieng and

renewal time with Mission raining International (MI) in

Colorado. While we were there, we saw so many missionaries

rom other ministries who had really struggled and ought

We learned so much rom this

experience. We saw how much pain

and hurt people carry around with

them. Being on the mission eld only

magnies these pains inside o us.

TrappedinChinaFor missionaries toChina David and Renee,*theirs was an impossiblesituation. Tey couldthink o only one last-ditch efort. As it turnedout, that would change

everything.


15/40

with their own organizations when they wanted to return to

the States. Tese missionaries had been beaten up by the very

people rom whom they needed the most love. We realized

that i we had experienced that heartache in addition to the

struggles we were already going through, it would have been

devastating to us.

During our time back in the States, we continued to strug-

gle as we re-entered American culture. Te Mission Society

never stopped encouraging us and helping us, even though

we were no longer on the eld. Tey stood with us all the way

to nding the healing we needed.

We are so thankul or Te Mission Society and the olks

in member care who speak peace instead o devastation, who

ofer hope instead o condemnation, and who bring love

instead o ear. We know that i it had not been or the care we

received rom Te Mission Society, we would not be back in

China now, and I doubt we would have ever returned to the

eld.

We learned so much rom this experience. We saw how

much pain and hurt people carry around with them. Being

on the mission eld only magnies these pains inside o us.

Tere are a lot o missionaries out in the world struggling to

keep their heads above water. Tere is a need or care. Te

member care department at Te Mission Society understands

this and reaches out to meet the emotional needs o the mis-

sionaries in the eld. We know rsthand that the love and

support shown by those in member care is vital to being ableto minister efectively.

We are excited to say that we have returned to China and

are now entering our eighth year here. We are not just trying

to survive anymore, but we are thriving! In our minds, one o

the real strengths o Te Mission Society is its commitment to

the care, healing, and growth o the people Te Mission Soci-

ety sends to the eld. We are so appreciative o this value, and

we are living examples o the importance o their work. U

*Pseudonyms used or security purposes


Ministering to the ministers

All o the team members o The Mission Societysmember care and development departmenthave experienced rsthand the challenges and

joys o cross-cultural ministry, because all o them

are ormer missionaries. Their workto ministeramong the more than 200 missionaries on vediferent continentscan seem overwhelming.Consider how the Lord may be calling you to helpminister to the missionaries you know.

Frank Decker serves as The Mission Societys vice

president or member care and development, and Vicki

Decker serves as missionary kids coordinator. The Deckers

served previously in Ghana, West Arica.

Ari Morsella, ormer missionary to the Russian Far East, is

The Mission Societys manager o member care.

Lauren and Jo Ann Helveston have served 15 years

on The Mission Society staf, rst directing the missionmobilization department and, since 2006, directing The

Mission Societys pastoral care department, which they

established. In March, they began work as consultants

with The Mission Society. The Helvestons are ormer

missionaries to Ghana, West Arica.

Shawn Ramsay, ormer missionary to Kazakhstan, is

assistant coordinator or missionary kids.


16/40


In 2010, Douglas was asked to attend a conerence in Hong

Kong, in which attendees rom around the world were chal-

lenged to complete the Great Commission in their lietimes.

Te ocus was particularly on least reached and unreached

people groups. Douglas caught the ever.

Tis led to our relocation rom Russia to India. We planned

to partner with a ministry there dedicated to translating the

Bible in audio ormat or people groups who had no Bible,

and in many cases, had never heard the name o Jesus. In

partnership with two large, well-known ministries, this minis-

try was doing new and unique work. Te translation method

used took only two years to produce the New estament.

Douglas and I were very excited about the possibilities withinthis ministry.

We lived in an apartment in the same building as the

ministry. In act, all o the residents served with the ministry.

I ell in love with the local women, who immediately started

teaching me about Indian culture. Tey also helped me buy

material and nd someone to make me locally appropriate

clothing. Te relationships were warm and loving. Tese

women wanted to learn everything they could about the

Christian lie. I met with them daily, and Douglas and I began

attending church with them at a little local congregation

across the street.

In the meantime, Douglas was learning that the ministry

was not what we had been told. Aer weeks o conusion and

broken promises, the director acknowledged problems in the

organization. He agreed to use Douglas previous extensive

human resources experience and asked him to look at how to

better structure the organization. Tis was something that got

Douglas excited about the ministry again.

Aer a very dicult six months, we discovered that the

ministry was apparently not ollowing ethical practices in

many and important areas o its unctioning. Douglas and I

prayed, talked to each other, and to senior staf in the min-istry who armed it would likely not change. With heavy

hearts, we made the dicult decision to return to the States. I

cried over the women I now loved and had to leave.

In the crowded car on the way to the airport, a pastor with

a rst-year marriage told us, I know you may be disappoint-

ed that things did not work out here or you, but you need to

know that or the past six months, you have both modeled to

us what a real Christian marriage looks like. Everyone talks

about it. My wie and I thank you. We were not total ailures!

Lost inIndiaVeteran missionaries Douglas and Kristy* had lots oexperience in ministry. When they realized that they

had misjudged the work they had joined in India, theyquestioned their own ability to discern and wondered

i this would be the end o their missionary road.


17/40

But we were depressed. How had we so badly misjudged

the ministry beore we came? Had we not listened correctly

to Godor at all? We lost total condence in our abilities to

wisely discern Gods will.

Once back in the States, we decided to take a deep breath

and spend time with our children and grandchildren or a

couple o months. We scheduled ourselves a debrie and

renewal session at Mission raining

International (MI) and also sought

counsel rom our Mission Society

member care team.

We had no idea what to think or

plan or the uture. We had been asked,while we were still in India, to join an-

other ministry there with people we already knew and trusted.

But was that right? We were old enough to retire. Should we

consider this option?

We relaxed, enjoyed our amily, and prayed. Ten we went

to Te Mission Society and spent amazing, precious time with

Lauren and Jo Ann Helveston. We were prayed over, loved,

listened to, encouraged and amazingly blessed! Within two

days o their care, we had not only heard God, but elt Him.

We, who had been broken into pieces, had been put in a co-

coon and released back into the world all in one piece.

We both elt that we knew what God would have us do, but

we also knew we needed more prayer and a nal conrmation

We went to the program at MI and ound it. We accepted

the option to return to another area in India and work with a

small American-led (but mostly national) team.

We returned to India six months

aer having le. We are renewed and

doing exciting ministry. God is us-

ing us as He never has beore! We are

both ullled, learning, sharing, giving,

and responding daily to Gods call andHis nudges. He is blessing the work in

amazing ways, and we sing His praises!

Member care team members can make or break workers

God calls to the eld. It is an essential part o any organiza-

tion, and we have most sincerely beneted rom ours. We pray

daily that God is blessed by it as a result.U

*Pseudonyms used or security purposes


We returned to India six months ater

having let. We are renewed and doing

exciting ministry. God is using us as he

never has beore!

Datwylers EcuadorWhen I was pastoring an indigenous church, it was dicult to obtain any counsel. Through member care, we were blessed with

people who had listening ears, prayerul hearts, insightul counsel, and godly wisdom. In many ways, it was because o the care

we received rom them that we made it through those two years.

Howells FranceWe have experienced member care in several ways over the years. For example, when going through some dicult times with

our children on the eld, making a call to the Helvestons (pastoral care) was one o the rst things we did. I remember well someo those phone conversations and times o prayer together, which helped us through a tough time.

Spitaleris TanzaniaWe are so thankul or member care and the advice, care, and encouragement we get. We always look orward to sharing our

hearts with the Helvestons. Their git o being able to listen is a blessing, since we trust them so much. We always know we can

call on them at any time; they go the extra mile to be available.

Grateul or member care


18/40

Top 10 ways to careor your missionariesOne o the most requently asked questions to a missionary is: How can we help you?

We surveyed several o our missionaries and asked them or some o their avorite waysthat churches and riends have cared or them. Here is what they told us.

his isnt or everyone, but i you are able, most missionaries

would welcome a riendly ace out on the ield. A short-term

mission trip is a great way to visit and be involved in their

ministry, although not all ields are the right place or short-

term teams. I not on the ield, schedule a visit or a large

get-together when missionaries are on home leave or visiting

the States.

Forming dierent relationships is a big part o eeling

welcome and assimilating into a new culture, but it is also

appreciated when a missionary is home. Invite missionaries

out with you and your amily or an outing, or invite them

over or a home-cooked meal. I they have children, include

them in opportunities or youth groups and retreats. One

missionary wrote o riends who took them and their toddler

to Disney World ater months o support raising, It turned

out to be a much-needed time o retreat or our amily.

10Visit

9Invites and inclusion


you're

invited...

Tallied and written by Lauren Mead


19/40


Culture shock can happen when moving into a new culture,

but it can also happen when coming back home ater some

time on the ield. Having something to wear back in the

States can be a luxury. We easily get out o style, one mis-

sionary commented when she wrote about how a riend rom

home oered to buy her a new outit. here is also the issue

o home goods, silverware, appliances, urniture, and general

supplies that will be needed in their new homes, whether in

the States or overseas. Donations o such items are welcome.

Help them visit home. Flights can be expensive. On occasion,

situations arise in which a missionary needs to get back to

the States quickly. It can be an emotionally taxing experi-

ence, but it can also weigh heavily on their inances. An oer

to use requent lyer miles is always appreciated. he same

can be said or that beach condo or time share you might

own that sits empty most o the year. What a great way to

recuperate!

Whether it is sharing the love o Christ, sharing their news-

letter, or adding them to a prayer list, a missionary can never

have too much support or prayer. Ask them or speciic

prayer requests that you can share with prayer groups and

show them you ollowed through. One missionary wrote that

a avorite way people cared or their amily was acknowl-

edging and showing interest in our new world and respond-

ing to newsletters with excitement in all God does or us, in

us, and through us.

Sometimes a visit home is or partnership development; but

sometimes its or vacation. Please do not assume missionar-

ies want to teach or lead a lesson. Ater months o being in a

leadership position, its oten nice to come home strictly or

vacation. While they are vacationing, they will need your

help. Support, love, and the intangibles are always needed,

but it might have been a year or more since they have seen a

dentist. Dont be araid to ask them what they need, and be

respectul i privacy and alone time are desired.

8Shop with them

7Frequent Flyer?

6Spread the word

5Respect the vacation


20/40


4House them

3Skype

2Email

1Snail mail

Many missionaries do not have cars or housing readily avail-

able to them when they return home. Loaning out a car or

even a bedroom is a great way to show you care. I they are

returning rom the ield permanently, opening your own

home to them or a while, or helping them to ind a new

permanent residence can be a huge relie.

Welcome to missions in the 21st century! Check with the

missionary you support and see what internet connectivity

capabilities they have. Schedule to have them video chat into

your small-group prayer time or Bible studies. Ask about

their phone plans. Video chatting and Skype are great, but a

phone call may be more realistic or some.

It is the quickest and most eicient way to keep in touch. Im-

portant messages about bills, plans, amily goings-on should

be emailed. I possible, lood those inboxes with messages

o love and support. Just the smallest message to say We are

praying or you is always encouraging. Have missionaries

added to their home churchs email list. hey know they are

being cared or, and can stay up with current happenings.

Christmas, birthdays, American holidays, hinking o

You cardsall are great ways to send love to your riends.

Letters and cards were a top answer o all the missionaries

we surveyed. Perhaps the most touching missionary input

we received told o birthday cards in the mail to our oster

daughter. She was overjoyed to have 50+ cards rom people

shed never met telling her joyul, encouraging words. For a

ormer orphan, this was lie changing!


21/40


Top 10 items to include in a care packageWhen asked about care packages, one missionary couple responded, A care package says, We arethinking o you. We havent orgotten you. Despite miles and years, you are still a part o us, and we arestill a part o you. Take some time to consider what you can do to show your love to a missionary.

10. Small household items tools, lashlights, a good ly-swatter, umbrellas

9. Pictures or home videos o amily, riends, church or amily get-togethers

8. Family speciic needs childrens clothes, childrens activity books, Advil

7. Ministry speciic needs crats or children, donated clothes, workbooks and study guides, glue sticks

6. Culture keepers Time magazine, Christmas and Thanksgiving decorations, birthday party supplies

5. Git cards Kindle or Amazon, bookstores, popular restaurants back home

4. DVDs in English classic, comedy, animated, and adventure movies, home church services

3. Music worship, nostalgic, easy listening, classical, lullabies, instrumental

2. Books novels, historical iction, spiritual encouragement

1. Ask! They all miss something special to them. We received requests or everything rom good-ittingunderwear to vanilla coee creamer, spices, and seeds or the garden

Let: Newly arrived in Kenya, Heidi and Gilly Grifths tear into a care package rom the First United Methodist Church in Grifn,

Georgia, their hometown. Right: Ayli McEuen in Peru shares a photo on Instagram o an awesome care package.


22/40

When

hopebegins

to stirMissionary care

can happen

through listening


23/40

When you returned rom your missionary service in

Ghana, were you given a time o debrie?

Lauren: No. We did not go out with an agency like Te Mis-

sion Society. So debrieng, or even training, was not part o

our experience.

Can you tell about how debrieng became such an

important part o The Mission Societys member care

ministry?

Lauren: In the beginning, we didnt have a lot o structure to

debrieng. Wed have a couple o hours at the oce with mis-

sionaries who had returned rom the eld or were on a short

break. But those times were prone to interruption.

Ten three o us on staf took training at Mission raining

International (MI) in Colorado, and we began to under-

stand how valuable debrieng is. So Jo Ann and I asked to

start handling debries. Tats when we began having more

structure, contacting missionaries ahead o time, and putting

policies in place.

Now I send a letter to our missionaries several months

beore we meet. Among other things, it explains what debrie-

ing is. Debrie, by denition, is telling a story o a most recent

event. Its just people being able to tell their story and have

listening ears and understanding hearts as they tell it.

Our missionaries and missionary couples are able to do so

in a comortable environmentour homewith condenti-

ality. We make it very clear that the debrie is not an evalua-tion or critique o them or their ministry; its not a counseling

session. We arent trying to x them or deal with traumatic

issues theyve aced. Tey talk about peaceul times, stress-

ul times, good relationships, bad relationships, the whole

gamut. We help them tell their story by organizing their

thoughts ahead o time through the reection orms (which

are sent in advance). It helps that many o the missionaries

weve debrieed are those with whom weve had longstanding

relationships.

What is the secret to listening well?

Lauren:I think both Jo Ann and I have always been pretty

good listeners. I read somewhere that, [t]o be heard, really

heard, is to be healed. o be understood, really understood,

is to be reed. Extending a lot o grace and being accepting

o people where they are is something that was planted in us

rom our earliest days in our walk with God. Part o extend-

ing grace to people is listening to them. We dont really talk a

lot unless it is to ask questions.

Jo Ann is better than me at looking at someone in the eye.

Keeping eye contact is a good listening skill and makes people

eel that they are being listened to and cared or.

Jo Ann: We have a lot o patience. And also weve been there.

Weve been through the cross-cultural ministry experience

ourselves in Ghana. We are deeply interested in hearing what

missionaries have to say about what theyve experienced. I

think being truly interested is important in being a good

listener.

Are people almost encountering their own story as

theyre telling it?

Jo Ann: Yes. And in a ew instances, debries have even

changed the direction o our missionaries. Beore the debrie,

they thought they would be coming of the eld, but the

debrie experience conrmed that they would continue in

cross-cultural ministry, but in a diferent place.

What is the importance o debrie or the kingdom?

Lauren: I think it encourages; it helps missionaries process a

lot o things and have some cathartic moments. And it helps

reinorce the message that we care or them as peoplethat

they are precious, and we value them. It oen encourages

people to press on in ministry. Its a time or renewal, or re-

ocusing, and reestablishing. Ten we close the time out with

anointing them and praying over them, because the day has

What will help missionaries thrive? Former missionaries Lauren and Jo Ann

Helveston, who launched The Mission Societys pastoral care department in

2007, have been or years exploring how simply being heard can propel people

orward in ministry. I remember reading, [t]o be heard, really heard, is to be

healed, says Lauren, who has seen ministries and ministers reinvigorated by others

simply listening. Here, he and Jo Ann talk about a not-oten-mentioned aspect o

missionary carethe debrie which is helping take member care to a new level.

themissionsociety.org Spring 2013 21


24/40


revealed specic things. So it becomes a great opportunity or

prayer.

Jo Ann: We try to really bless them. Our home is open to

them. We say, Tere are the cups; there are the blankets;

there is the extra toilet paper. Just get whatever you need, and

make yoursel at home. Teyre not company. Teyre amily.

We take them out to special places to eat. We put a bowl o

ruit in their room, just like in a bed and breakast.

Youre helping others identiy their pain, but where is

your pain? The member care sta is small, and there are

so many missionaries.

Lauren: Adequate care. Te member care staf is growing, but

there is just no way that a ew people in the oce can care or

all our missionaries.

Te other issue is that we cant really know whats going

on in missionaries daily lives because were not there. When

youre a local pastor doing pastoral care, the people are close

at hand. Youre interacting with them; you can see a problem

through and walk with them, but we can't do that.

Is that partially why youre so involved in helping orm

home teams (see page 23)? When its not possible or

you to check in on a regular basis, members o the

home team can do that.

Lauren: Yes, the home team narrows the gap between the

missionary and the local church. It is the nucleus or care.

But I think we, as an agency, still need to do a lot more workin helping bring the people o the local church aboard to see

themselves as the primary caregivers or the missionaries and

ministers who go out rom their church. When Paul went out,

it was local churches that were seeking to really support him

and care or him. When missionaries go rom a church, we

want them to see: Tese people are our people; we should be

the ones caring or them. Te more you care or and support

people the greater the chances o them staying on the eld

long term.

Lets say my missionary riends are coming back to the

States. What are good questions to ask them?

Lauren: You would think that everyone wants to hear a mis-

sionarys story. Tats not true. Most people want the extreme-

ly abbreviated version. Some good questions would be: ell

me about two o the greatest experiences you had. Or, what

were a couple o the greatest relationships you developed? An-

other question would be: What are a ew things that stressed

you the most about living in a new culture?

I you could tell one thing about what youve discov-

ered about missionarieswhat theyre dealing with,

the struggles and the joyswhat would you want

people to know?

Jo Ann: Finances. People come home on ministry leave, and

they are running themselves ragged undraising.

Lauren: Another thing Ive discovered is, because o the great

needs, missionaries can sometimes eel as i the kingdoms

work is all on their shoulders. Tey need to take Sabbath

breaks, to rest, relax, and take vacations. Another issue is

loneliness. Missionaries eel a separation, not only rom their

amilies and rom us, but rom everything.

Jo Ann:And we dont try to x it. Most o the time we cant

x it, but we know that the Holy Spirit is able to work out all

these things. U

Lauren and Jo Ann Helvestonserved as missionaries and in the

local church pastorate prior to

serving with The Mission Society.

They hope to also develop

debries to be used onsite (when

sta members visit missionaries in their place o service), pre-

deployment, as well as debries or MKs.

Tears without an audience, without someone to hear and care, leave the wounds

unhealed. But when someone listens to our groaning and stays there, we eel

something change inside us. Despair seems less necessary; hope begins to stir

where beore there was only pain. This is called the ministry o listening.

Dr. Edward Hallowell, senior lecturer at Harvard Medical School

and director o the Center or Cognitive and Emotional Health in Concord, Massachusetts


25/40


Thejoyo true communionThe home team provides a nucleus o care or the missionary.Butas these team members explainit turned out to be so much more.

In January, 2013, Nick, Heidi, their 10-year-old son, Gilly, departed or Kenya to

begin their rst term as career missionaries. Years earlier, they had sensed God

calling them to missionary service, and aer being approved as missionaries, they

had gathered a home team around them. All Mission Society missionaries arerequired to have a home team. Its unction is to provide ongoing prayer support

and accountability or the missionaries, to communicate about their ministry, and

to help in any way possible to care or them and propel their ministry orward.

Like most people, the Griths home team members had never heard o the home

team concept. But undeterred by the time and energy this commitment would

require o them, they each said yes. As a result, they seemed to discover one o the

greatest joys or any ollower o Jesus: rue community that comes rom joining

Jesus in His mission.

wo weeks beore the Griths deployed to Kenya, 10 o the 15 members o

the Griths home team circled up in the back o the sanctuary at Jodeco RoadUnited Methodist Church in Stockbridge, Georgia (the Grins home church) to

talk together about their experience to date as home team members. (One member

joined by phone.) Te ollowing is a sampling o their conversationwhich was

punctuated with a lot o laughter and marked by a sense o deepest camaraderie.

Grifths home team, rom ar right, then counterclockwise: Robert Bliss, the Rev. Michelle Rawdin, Angela Bliss, Bill MacLauchlin, Carol

MacLauchlin, Donna Rall, Cheryl McCollum, Jan Holland, Lee Holland, the Rev. Gene Shefeld, Nick Grifths, Heidi Grifths, Gilly Grifths.

Not shown, but present via phone: the Rev. Chris Mullis. Not present: Je and Jodie Gyurasics, Stan and Kathryn Partin


26/40


Pastors, has this experience o being on the home team

helped to orm or inorm your local church ministry

somehow?

(Rev.) Michelle:I will speak to that. For my churches, its

been meaningul to be part o the journey, and to actually

connect with people who are orsaking all here and going

abroad to share the Word o Christ with others. You get

emails rom people who need support because theyre already

in the mission eld. But I think its been really good to have a

relationship with a amily who is going through the process.

How did you decide to sayyes to serve on the home

team?

Robert: Beore we became part o the home team, the

Griths were looking or a house to rent aer they sold their

house. Im a realtor; I deal in rentals. I started thinking. My

wie and I have a house thats much too big or us (all our girls

are grown and gone). So I asked my wie, Why dont we just

remodel the upstairs and let the Griths live there? When

the Griths rental term ended, they moved in with us. And

I cant say enough about what a blessing it has been. Its been

just unbelievable. (Every home team member should have

this experience.) Because o what we were doing, the Griths

asked us to be on their home team.

Next, Bill acLauchlin told about being with the Griths

in Disciple Bible Studywhen they made their decision toollow Gods call to missions. As part o the home team, the

acLauchlins hosted Pastor Simon and his wie - with whom

the Griths now serve in Kenya - when the couple came rom

Kenya to Georgia to visit. Lee and Jan Holland are ormer mis-

sionaries themselves. So when they were asked to join the home

team, they were already amiliar with some o the challenges o

missionary service. Tey were intrigued with the idea o a home

team and understood what a help that could oer a missionary.

What have been some o the highlights o serving on

the home team?

Carol:Tere are several things. Te rst one was when they

had the Griths estate sale. Nick and Heidi had such a lovely

home. I was there actually helping Heidi unpack all the stuf

and get it ready to sell. It was just amazing to me that God

had called them to give up everything here. As the day o the

sale came, you could just see God opening one door aer

another. Tere was even someone who had been to Kenya as

a missionary who came or the sale all the way rom North

Georgia. We went and picked up a trailer load o urniture

rom a woman who had visited a Sunday school class on the

particular Sunday that the Griths were speaking, and their

call had touched her so much that she asked neighbors to

donate things to be sold in the sale. God was just so much at

work and involved in this that it was amazing.

And then, when we did the Living Water Walk [an event to

raise unds and awareness o Kenyas need or clean water], so

many diferent churches came togetherall or one common

causeto help the Griths answer Gods call.

(Rev.) Chris: One o my highlights has been Vacation Bible

School and seeing Gilly talk to the kids. For me, as their pas-

tor, it was miraculous to watch those kids realize that some-

one their age, someone just like them, is doing thisand that

its a real thing.

Robert:Te highlight or me has been Gilly. Hes been such

an inspiration.

Cheryl:I think one o the highlights or me was when we

had a prayer vigil right beore the Griths le to go on their

vision trip to Kenya. Tere had been a lot o work beore that,

with the estate sale and everything. But the evening o the

prayer vigil, there was just a wonderul, peaceul realization

Nick is a civil engineer and plans to help provide resh drinkingwater via wells and water ltration systems. Heidi has a degree in

health sciences and will provide wellness training and establish

medical clinics or those sharing resources. They will work with

Arican ministry partners to help eliminate water-borne diseases.


27/40


that this was becoming real. You could sense the Holy Spirit,

and it was just joy. For our church, it was the rst time that

we had ever done anything like that, too, so it was a stepping

out o aith or us also. It was such a blessing to be part o it.

Bill:We teach Jr. High Sunday school, and Gilly came and

gave us a talk. Young people are so inspired by hearing an-

other young person. It just caught re. (Bill told how, afer that,the youth got energetically involved in the Living Water Walk.)

What do you love most about being connected with the

Grifths ministry?

Donna (Heidis mom): I admire the commitment and the

courage that they have to do this (tears). I dont think I could

ever, ever do what theyve done. I just admire them, and I love

them or it.

Angela:When Heidi and Nick were making their decisions

to go into the mission eld, I read a book that convicted me.

It was about Arica. It was about how many people are dying

every day in Arica. And at the end o the book, it was as i

the Lord was saying, Okay, what are you

going to do about it?

It was at that time that Heidi and

Nicks need came to the surace, and

Robert and I said to each other, Wait a

minute! Tere is something that we can

do to help with the worlds needs. With

what God has blessed us with, we can take these resources

and make an impact. Were not going to go to Kenya, but

were going to support the Griths. And theyre going to ofer

Jesus Christ, clean water, and healthier living, and thats going

to make an impact on how many people there will live and

how many might know Jesus. And we can be part o that. We

can say, God, You convicted me that I had to do something

about this world problem. Ten you gave me the opportunity,

and I stepped up. So that leads me to eeling that Im part o

what theyre doing. Im doing what God wants me to do, too.

Im walking the walk that I need to be walking.

(Rev.) Chris:I met Nick and Heidi on a short-term mission

trip to Guatemala. So or me, one o the things that I most

love about being involved with this is seeing them progress

rom going on a mission trip or a week, and rom that, get-

ting passionate about missions in the United States, and then

rom that, responding to Gods call to be missionaries on a

oreign mission eld or a long term.

So that just thrills me, because when youre a pastor, you

have to do a lot o things, and sometimes at the end o the day,

youre thinking: Tis wasnt what I thought I would be doing

when I signed up or this. But then there are those other times

when you get to be involved with people like the Griths,

and you say: Yeah, this is what its really all about. And Im so

thankul that God let me be a part o this kind o lie-chang-

ing work. For me, these are the kinds o moments that make

being a pastor worthwhile.

(Rev.) Gene: My story is very similar to Chris. I remember

when we did a amily movie night at our church, and here

came this young couple [Nick and Heidi] with a little toddler.

I got to meet them then, and Ive been able to watch them in

their spiritual lie. And like Chris said, when youre setting up

all this stuf at the church, youre wondering: Does this make

any dierence in anyones lie at all?And then you see that it

does sometimes. You make connections, which, to me, is what

the kingdom o God is all aboutits about relationships with

other people. We get to see how all these callings mesh

together. Its just incredible how God works.

Jan: I have enjoyed getting to know you, Donna [Heidi's

mother]. Its been a privilege to watch a

mothers heart let go [o her amily].

Robert: Donna, you may be losing the

intimacy with Nick, and Heidi, and Gilly

or a while, but guess what? You have a

big amily here. We can rally around you.

Gilly:When we got back rom our training in Colorado, I

wrote a journal page about how God is our pillow. You can

trip, and there will be a pillow right theresomeone helps

you up. And I started noticing that God gives all o us our

pillows, and I think that the home team has been like, almost

a bed. (Laughter.)

Carol: I think in the beginning, we didnt know what a home

team was. We sure didnt know what a home team could do.

Kenya seemed like a million miles away, and it seemed like

so much money to raise. And we didnt even think that wecould help be a part o that. So or me, its been a learning that

we couldnt, but God could. And Hes the One who has made

every bit o this possible or each one o us.

(Rev.) Gene:But it is so very much like that. We take the baby

steps, and God does the rest. U

In the beginning, we didnt know what

a home team could do. God is the

One who has made every bit o this

possible or each one o us.


28/40

As the Boeing 747 sped down the runway, Erika sat inside

with seat belt secure, her chin propped against a clenched st,

staring out the window until the nal sights o her beloved

Singapore disappeared rom view.

How can it hurt this much to leave a country that isnt even

mine?Erika closed her eyes and settled back in the seat, too

numb to cry the tears that begged to be shed. Will I ever comeback?

For nearly hal o her 23 years, she had thought o Singa-

pore as home. Now she knew it wasntand America hadnt

elt like home since she was eight years old.

Isnt there anywhere in the world I belong?she wondered.

Countless people o virtually every nationality and rom

a great variety o backgrounds identiy with Erikas eeling

o not ully belonging anywhere in the world, write David

Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken, authors oTird Culture Kids,

rom which the above paragraphs were excerpted. As dened

by David Pollock, Tird Culture Kids (CKs) are children

who spend a signicant period o their developmental years

in a culture outside o their parents passport culture.

Tird Culture Kids are raised in a neither/nor world, say

Pollock and Van Reken. It is neither ully the world o their

parents culture (or cultures) nor ully the world o the otherculture (or cultures) in which they were raised.

Te Mission Societys MK Care staf serve explicitly with

our CK communityour missionary kids, who number

about 140. When recently, ve MKs rom two amiliesthe

atums (Costa Rica) and the McEuens (Peru) got together

we asked them about their experience as missionary kids.

Heres what Jesse and Kirsten atum (both 17), Kia (18), Ayli

(16), and odd (14) McEuen told us. (Drew atumalso 17

was absent, due to illness.)

Adiferent worldThird culture kids speak about a lie only a select population can relate to



29/40


30/40


What are some issues/challenges that you deal with as a

Third Culture Kid (TCK)?

Learning a new language (then having to live in it), constantly

being an outsider, looking diferent, having to go through the

pain o nding out who your true riends are and who just

wants to use you.

What are some o the pluses/blessings o being a TCK?

Were adaptable in any situation. We are accepted in many di-

erent cultures. We get lots o great opportunities to learn and

travel. We are mature enough to hang out with adults, but still

teen enough to have un with our generation.

I you could talk to people in churches back in the

States, what do you wish they understood about Third

Culture Kids?

When this question was asked, we all looked at each other and

said, Everything! Our lives arent vacations, even though

we live in exotic places. Despite what you may think about

missionaries, were not reaks! We dont want to be treated di-

erently. Were not perect, and we have just as many problems

as you do. We, as kids, have to endure going through lots otrainings and speak at lots (seriously, LOS) o churches that

may or may not care about us or our ministry.

Teres honestly no way that people who have never lived

in another culture could understand what our lives are like,

but even so, all we want is to be treated like normal people.

Why is it important to eel supported by other MKs/

TCKs, riends, nationals, amily, The Mission Society?

It is so important to be in contact with other MKs. When we

all get together and laugh about the trials and blessings and

craziness o lie, its like taking a vacation rom reality. For the

ew days that we have with each other, we can be completely

honest and know that the other MKs will understand exactly

what were talking about.

Its also really nice to eel connected with Te Mission Soci-

ety, because it gives us the condence the people in charge o

our saety are actually concerned about our well being. When

we go to the oce, its like seeing amily again.

In times o loneliness or trials, is it signicant when

you receive some encouragement rom someone in the

States (rom your riends or church people or rom The

Mission Society)?

In our rst year on the eld, encouragement and kind words

rom riends and churches in the States were common and

greatly appreciated. But aer that, people in the States seemed

to orget about us.

Its also hard to receive notes that say things like, Well it

seems bad now, but itll get better! and Just keep holding

onto Gods promises, and youll be okay! rom people who

have no idea. When we are going through a hard time andshow it, people in the States seem to think that weve lost our

aith and are spiraling down into depression or something

dramatic like that. Tey dont seem to understand that we

have bad days just like they do, and it doesnt mean the end o

our ministry!

However, when we get some kind o encouragement rom

Te Mission Society or any close riends in the States, it

means a lot! Just to know that we are thought about is really

great coming rom people we dont get to see very oen. U

Being a third culture kid means constantly

being an outsider, but it also means being

accepted in many dierent cultures, say

teens rom two missionary amilies who

got together recently in Peru. Top let: Ayli

McEuen, Kirsten Tatum Bottom let: Todd

McEuen, Jesse Tatum, and Kia McEuen


31/40


Caring or third culture kidsTe missionary kid (MK) care department o Te Mission Society exists to equip, engage, and enable our missionary amilies

around the world. Stafers Vicki Decker and Shawn Ramsay(see page 13) co-lead this ministry, which has a special emphasis

on children and youth who serve cross-culturally.

Shawn and Vicki are both ormer missionaries and raised their amilies overseas. Vicki and husband, Frank, spent seven

years in Ghana with their three children; and Shawn and husband, Jim, spent 10 years in Kazakhstan with their our children.

ogether, Vicki and Shawn help provide care or approximately 140 missionary kids whose ages range rom birth to 22 years

old.

Te goal o the department is to help missionary parents rear well-adjusted, emotionally healthy children. Tis allows the

amily unit to minister more efectively. Vicki and Shawn do this through several programs:

Equipping MKs and their parents with cultural training, education, and retreats

Engaging MKs and their parents as they develop ongoing relationships, ofer prayer support, and check in periodically

with missionary amilies

Enabling MKs and their parents by providing support in areas where the amily is oen vulnerable

We recommendThird Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds

By David C. Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken

More and more children are growing up among worlds, creating a culturally

rich and diverse world. Third Culture Kids, revised edition, examines the

nature o the TCK experience and its eect on maturing, developing a sense

o identity, and adjusting to one's passport country upon return.


32/40

News


Dick McClain with The Mission Societys missionary team in Paraguay

he Mission Society is pleased to announce

that Ari Morsella has been named the new

manager o member care. Ari directs andacilitates member care or he Mission

Society missionaries and home oice sta.

We see ourselves in member care as

intercessors, encouragers, listeners, and

advocates. I get to connect with our people

and want to celebrate their victories, grieve

when they hurt and stand with them in their

struggles. I want to hear and know their

stories, said Morsella.

Ari served as a Mission Society missionary

in the Russian Far East or 14 years beore

joining the sta in 2009. From my yearso cross-cultural ministry, I really get what

our missionaries are experiencing, said

Morsella. I understand what it is like to

enter a new culture, say goodbye to amily

and riends, and have your worldview

expanded. And I discovered that I gained ar

more than I ever really gave up. Ari moved

to this new member care position in January

2013.U

New manager o member care named

Ari Morsella served or 14 years

in the Russian Far East beore

joining the sta o The Mission

Society home ofce.

Missionary presents paper at international missions gathering

he Rev. Kirk Sims presented a paper, A

Christendom toolbox, but a Christendom

tool? Mission beyond the conines o a

mission agency and entrenched in migration

at the International Association o Mission

Studies quadrennial meeting in oronto.

he theme o the conerence was Migration,

Human Dislocation, and the Good News.

Sims is currently pursuing a Ph.D. with

the Oxord Centre or Mission Studies. His

research centers on the mission activities

emerging rom West Arica, where he

and his wie, Nicole, and their sons served

previously. he Simses presently serve with

he Mission Society in Hamburg, Germany.

here, Nicolealso a United Methodist

elderpastors an international church o

migrants in Hamburg. U

The Mission Society celebrates

25 years o ministry in Paraguay

In January, he Mission Society celebrated the 25th

anniversary o its ministry in Paraguay with a special

event in Asuncon. President Dick McClain traveled to

Paraguay to speak at the anniversary gathering.

he Mission Society irst began work in Paraguay

in 1988. he 6th Region o the Methodist Church o

Brazil invited he Mission Society to partner in their

ministry to Paraguay. It was he Mission Societys happ

privilege to support the eorts o our Brazilian sisters

and brothers in Paraguay in proclaiming the good news

o the kingdom, planting churches, training pastors and

leaders, and initiating programs o healthcare, clean wate

community development, education, and agriculture, to

name just a ew. We are indebted to the many women

and men who have served with he Mission Society in

Paraguay, and join them in celebrating what God has

done in that nation, said McClain. U

Kirk and Nicole Sims serve

with sons, Aidan and Eli, in

Hamburg, Germany.


33/40

Trough your partnership with Te

Mission Society, you not only proclaim

the gospel o Jesus to the world, but you

also testiy to your loved ones about

your commitment to the Lords work.

Did you know that, by dedicating only

a ew minutes o your time, you can

arrange to continue your partnership

with Te Mission Society even aer

death? I have oen been asked about

how to create a bequest to charity (a

gi aer death) without a lot o expense

or without needing legal counsel.

We are providing creative planning

ideas here that may help you in this

vital step to honor your values and

extend your care or missions beyond

your lietime. Nevertheless, we urge

our riends to seek the counsel o an

attorney when dealing with legal issues.

Update your lie insurance

beneciary

Te rst good stewardship idea is to

update the beneciary o your lie

insurance policy. I you have sucient

cash and liquid assets to cover

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Unfinished 55 - A Publication of the Mission Society

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