Etiquette
◦rules governing socially acceptable behavior
◦practices and forms prescribed by social convention
Golden: Treat others as you would like to be treated
Platinum: Treat others as they would like to be treated
Communicate in terms of your objectives not in terms of your feelings (The advice to “Be Yourself” is misleading)
Understand what interpersonal and professional criteria are for the interview
Plan your behavior in terms of meeting both sets of criteria
Before you enter a situation, visualize what you are going to say and do—and then mentally rehearse how you believe your audience will respond
At the same time, visualize what your audience’s most preferred communicator would be saying and doing. How close can you come to their “ideal other”?
Two Stages
Initial Perception— (Immediate)
Sustained Perception— (Over Time)
People begin to evaluate us before any words are ever spoken
Who you are speaks so loudly I do not hear what you say--Emerson
Light scent Clean and
trimmed fingernails
Limited jewelry Concealed tattoos No visible body
jewelry
Neatly combed hair
Polished shoes Stockings without
runs Belts on pants Color of socks,
belt, & shoes matches
Pumper
Dead Fish
Squeezer
Two handed
Equal, with direct eye contact
Ask yourself, “What would the other person like to hear me say first?”
This will allow you to say something that will show you see things from the other person’s point of view.
E.g., a compliment, followed by a question that allows him or her to say something positive
Applicants who focused more
◦ on being pleasant, agreeable, and offering compliments to interviewers and their companies were deemed better fits to their prospective jobs (and were hired at a higher rate) than
◦ applicants who focused more their credentials for the job.
Compliment others, orally or in writing, on something important to them
Example of written praise: I am writing to express my appreciation for the expertise you shared with me yesterday about the skills I need to develop to excel as a marketing professional. I value your insight and will implement all your excellent suggestions.
Principle: Your communication often predicts the response of the Receiver.
Exercise:
Alternate reading the comments on the left hand side of the handout.
Then do the same with the right hand side.
USE PHRASES THAT BRING OUT THE BEST IN YOUR LISTENER
• I know you want what is fair for both of us.
• I am sure you will do your best to help me out.
• I am counting on you.
• I enjoy working for you because you respond so effectively to your employees’ needs.
Be positive about your company, work, boss, peers & coworkers, customers & suppliers & yourself
- Integrity: Telling the truth
- Reliability :Doing what you say you will do
How do you know someone is listening to you?• Eye communication; undivided attention;
encouragers; nonverbal positives, writing something down
How do you feel when you know someone is listening to you?
Respected, valued, confident, liked How do you describe a person who is
listening to you? Courteous, attentive, empathetic, respectful
How do you know someone is listening to you?• Eye communication; undivided attention;
encouragers; nonverbal positives, writing something down
How do you feel when you know someone is listening to you?
Respected, valued, confident, liked How do you describe a person who is
listening to you? Courteous, attentive, empathetic, respectful
How do you know someone is ignoring you?◦ Lack of eye contact; other signs of indifference
How does it make you feel when you are ignored?• Nervous, insignificant, unintelligent
How do you describe a person who has ignored you?• Rude, arrogant, distant, jackass
How do you know someone is ignoring you?◦ Lack of eye contact; other signs of indifference
How does it make you feel when you are ignored?• Nervous, insignificant, unintelligent
How do you describe a person who has ignored you?• Rude, arrogant, distant, jackass
Hello. My name is Libby Smith. I am here for a 1 o’clock appointment with Mr. Jones.
Key fact: 90% of managers ask their secretary’s opinions of job applicants
Even when asking questions, have your voice end on with a downward inflection.
Say “What time is the meeting?” once with voice raising at the end and one with voice ending with a downward inflection.
Get business cards from everyone you meet and makes notes on it about when you met, what you had in common, and details about the person, including names of children
Record the information into an electronic data base for future reference
Prefer the formal to the informal, especially with older and higher ranking people
Avoid “I’m sorry, I have forgotten your name” Instead, say “Help me out. Your name was on the tip of my tongue & now eludes me”
Goal is to express thanks and promote your objectives◦ Opening: Express appreciation and compliment
the receiver◦ Body: Summarize what you see as mutual benefit
of meeting◦ Closing: Indicate next steps◦ PS: Make a positive comment and/or make an
offer to return the favor
Reply to all invitations within 48 hours.
Be gracious if you need to refuse
Thank you for inviting me to breakfast to hear Frank Jones of your legal department speak next Friday. Given his outstanding reputation, I am confident I have much to learn from him.
As I have another meeting scheduled for that time, I will be unable to attend. I appreciate your kindness and look forward to speaking with you in the near future.
Plan your phone calls just as you would other verbal messages. Focus the message on what’s really important.
Be prepared for either a live conversation or voice mail. Be ready to eliminate most of the social pleasantries and get right to the message if you get a voice mail system.
Identify yourself and your college Ask the person if he or she has time to talk Make calls during normal business hours Return calls the same day
Do not • put someone on hold without asking
permission.• do other work while on the phone
Outline points you want to make prior to placing a call.
Write down the name or names of the parties with whom you will be speaking
If your party is not there, leave a brief message and request a telephone appointment
If your party answers, identify yourself, stick to your outline and thank the person at the end of the call.
Provide only your cell phone number to business contacts
You do not want a roommate or a parent answering a call intended for you because you cannot control what they say or the image they will project of you
After hours calls or texts can be answered
Employees communicate with people in different time zones
Receptionists take incomplete or inaccurate messages
Talking too fast or slow◦ 175-250 words per minute
Not enough information
Can’t understand the message
No return telephone or person name left in message
Talking too fast or slow◦ 175-250 words per minute
Not enough information
Can’t understand the message
No return telephone or person name left in message
Keep it short and simple. Aim to keep voice mail messages less than 30 seconds.
Start with a WHAT/WHY/WHEN opening, add details as needed, and finish with follow-up.
Be sure listeners can contact you easily. Speak slowly enough for them to understand your name and phone number. For longer messages, include the contact information at both the beginning and the end of the message.
Clarify timing. Listeners usually appreciate specific deadlines, as long as they are reasonable and important. Consider saying when you will be free to take a call.
Hi, Sandra. This is Jane Maple at 6108. I’m calling to invite you to a status meeting on the Revised Commuter Parking project. We’re going to present results and plans that resulted from our analysis of survey data, so this would be a great opportunity for you to see how Student Government may get involved in 2 or 3 months.
Here are the details: the meeting is at 9 a.m. on Wednesday the 6th in Conference Room D and should last about 45 minutes. If you can’t make it, please send someone else so SGA can be up to date.
Again, this is Jane at 6108. I look forward to seeing you Wednesday morning.
Start with an upbeat greeting including your name so caller knows he or she has reached the right person
Indicate how the caller can get a response Close on a positive note, e.g., Make it a
great day! Listen to your recording
Does it sound upbeat? Professional? Can the listener hear a smile in your voice?
Do not have◦a cute message◦background music◦a long introductory comment before the beep
Do not have◦a cute message◦background music◦a long introductory comment before the beep
Be present: Give your full attention to those you are with, such as when in a meeting or on a date.
Before making or taking a call, texting or emailing in public, consider if your actions will impact others. If they will, reconsider, wait or move away first.
Don't use a mobile device while using a restroom.
Put on vibrate or silent when in meetings
What happens when a recruiter “Googles” you?
What will be revealed about you on Facebook or MySpace?
Google yourself◦ Investigate any link with your name attached to it
Clean up your account◦ Remove or de-tag
unflattering photos and text inappropriate wall posts anything others might find offensive
Use privacy settings so you control who will see your profile
Make your profiles an extension of your resume
Write positive things about yourself in the Interest and Activities sections
Demonstrate your passion for the career field of your choice
Post pictures of yourself performing a job relevant action or service
Orienting: Directory indicates relevance
Skimming: Does it look organized? Concise?
Scanning: Read 1st paragraph, headings, and last paragraph
Reading: Read entire email
Use an appropriate and easy to remember email address: [email protected]
Consider creating one solely for job correspondence
Avoid cute addresses: [email protected] [email protected]
Messages:◦ Keep e-mail concise by including only information
readers will find important. ◦ Limit e-mails to one topic and no more than two
screens
Paragraphs:◦ Most paragraphs should be 2-6 lines long.◦ Avoid paragraphs more than 8 lines long.
Include an accurate subject line, one whichindicates the purpose of the message
◦ Thank you from Regina Myles◦ Request for meeting with Regina Myles◦ Confirmation of lunch at 3:00 tomorrow with
Regina Myles◦ Regina Myles’ W-9 mailed today
Identify the receiver’s preferred title and use it, including Dr., Prof., Mr. Ms., and Mrs.
If you do not have a name, address a title or company, such as Dear Human Resources Department or Dear Hiring Manager
Avoid 19th century salutations, such as To Whom It May Concern; Gentlemen or Ladies
To respect readers’ time, limit greetings to one short sentence or phrase
--Thank you for meeting with me last week. I’m writing to ask …
--Greetings! I’m writing because Dr. Sakkab suggested I contact you given your expertise concerning the use of hedging to control for currency fluctuations
--Good morning from Xavier University! The weather has improved tremendously since you were here last week. No more snow or slush and no more problems finding on street parking, the bane of the commuting student [Blah, blah …]
A postscript (PS). can contain kudos and other pleasantries—after main message is concisely communicated
--Good morning from Xavier University! The weather has improved tremendously since you were here last week. No more snow or slush and no more problems finding on street parking, the bane of the commuting student [Blah, blah …]
A postscript (PS). can contain kudos and other pleasantries—after main message is concisely communicated
Focus on starting with a clear WHAT, WHY, and WHEN. Be sure the message contains all the information readers need to act properly.
Use the opening paragraph to tell readers WHAT the key issues covered in the message referring explicitly to products, people, and issues:◦ I am writing to accept your invitation to attend a
luncheon on 2/9/10 at the Queen City Club to honor Juanita Gomez
Let readers know in the first sentence if you want them to do something in response to the e-mail:◦ Please send me the link to article on the implications of
Sarbanes Oxley for jobs in the field of compliance that you referenced in our recent interview at Xavier University.
When responding to an e-mail, consider starting with in response to your request, to orient your reader quickly to your purpose in writing:◦ In response to your request, I have attached a copy of
my resume, which I tailored specifically to the criteria listed in the position description.
Make your e-mails skimmable and scannable◦ Use headings and subheadings to create a
scannable outline of your message In a follow up to a job interview, you might use these
3 headings: Relevant Education, Work Experience, and Leadership Qualities
◦ Use lists, including numbers and bullet points, to improve the “curb appeal” of your e-mail and to make information easier to retrieve Limit lists to five or fewer points.
Re: Dates Maureen O’Donnell can meet for Interview in Chicago
In response to your request, here are the dates when I am available to meet you in Chicago for the follow-up interview with Nielsen market research team.
Time & Place: I understand we will meet from 6-8 pm at Everest
which is located on top of the Chicago Board of Trade.
Dates: I can meet with you on any of the following dates which I selected from the list you sent me.◦ Wednesday, February 3 ◦ Thursday, February 4 ◦ Tuesday, February 9 ◦ Wednesday, February 10
Follow up: I look forward to meeting with you and the Nielsen
team in the near future.
Maureen O’Donnell
P. S. I am eager to learn more about the employment opportunities at Nielsen and am excited by the prospect of working for the world ’s leading market research firm.
Indicate Who, will do What, When, and, as appropriate, Why
As requested, I will 1. Create a portfolio of my best market
research work, including statistical analyses research papers, and presentation slides, and
2. Send it today to Ms. Frankel of Nielsen so she can add it to my application
An auto signature should include other ways of reaching the writer
Fax Cell phone Snail mail, IM
P. S. Thank you so much for the time you took from your busy schedule at the Meet the Firms event yesterday to tell about the wonderful internship and employment opportunities available to Xavier accounting majors.
I appreciate the details you shared of your successful experience and deep insight into the field and am more convinced than ever that accounting is the best profession for me.
◦Do not use colored stationery
◦Do not “decorate” your signature with flowers, balloons, or other icons
◦Consider omitting inspirational or religious quotations
◦Do not use colored stationery
◦Do not “decorate” your signature with flowers, balloons, or other icons
◦Consider omitting inspirational or religious quotations
Capitalize the first letter of a word beginning a sentence as well as the pronoun, I.
Insert a line of white space between paragraphs to facilitate easy reading.
Set up reply feature to put your message
above the one to which it is replying
DO NOT USE ALL CAPITALS FOR ANY SENTENCES! Use courteous language which suggests a calm and rational tone.
Avoid abbreviations, slang expressions, and emoticons, such as the following: BTW, can U plz send info on nxt steps? Thx
DO NOT USE ALL CAPITALS FOR ANY SENTENCES! Use courteous language which suggests a calm and rational tone.
Avoid abbreviations, slang expressions, and emoticons, such as the following: BTW, can U plz send info on nxt steps? Thx
Use language that tells others you are taking them seriously.
Avoid words that suggest indifference, communicated by such commonplace phrases as OK, Will Do, Sounds Right, Got that Right Dude!!
Make sure the recipient’s name and the name of the Company is spelled accurately
Proofread carefully before filling in the “To” address to avoid accidentally sending an unfinished or unreviewed message
Edit for polite tone Proofread for grammar, punctuation and
diction Spell-check for accuracy
Do not use email to the exclusion of other media as it is best used for simple, noncontroversial communication
Use a face to face meeting or a telephone call for sensitive, controversial, or complex issues
IM and text messaging are best used for gaining information or perspective that you need quickly and that is simple for the receiver to provide.
Get permission to use these media. Keep in mind receivers sometimes believe these IM and text messages require an instant response and may see it as an interruption of their plans for that time.
• Positive regard for others
• Sincerity
• Empathy
• Tact
• Respect for diversity
Thank You