Veil of Mysticism - Paths to Enlightened Faith

8/3/2019 Veil of Mysticism - Paths to Enlightened Faith

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MONIKA PETRY

VEIL OF MYSTICISM

Paths to Enlightened Faith

Published by FROMM-Verlag

on 09th Nov. 2011

ISBN 978-3-8416-0236-7

all Rights reserved

English Translation by Monika Petry and Lawrence Sartorius

of the German Original Book:

'SCHLEIER DER MYSTIK Wege zum Erleuchteten Glauben',

published on 7 July 2011 by FROMM-Verlag;

ISBN: 978-3-8416-0165-0

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This is a book about the evolution of my Love for God and His Human

Beings, according to the descriptions of St. Teresa of vila as a Mystic and

Doctor of the Church. Mysticism originally means the lighting up of the

mystery of life, the ultimate reality we call God.

A Mystic sees itself as a long-distance walker who follows the call of God

and always moves forward in order to satisfy his longing. Through the

perfection of his consciousness in Truth and Love, he becomes one with

God. This experience makes him happy and satisfied with the Divine

Providence. His confidence is always accompanied by a passion for God

and the acceptance of life. It is a way out of darkness into the Light.

I also was longing for this all my life and walked forward steadily. I sought

God, He found me, and since I am a wanderer between Heaven and Earth. I

want to infect you with my Love for Him and the people. Now the time has

come. Let us lift the veil of mysticism.

Brief Biography:

Monika Petry, born November 1955, formerly a Protestant, clerk,

translator/ interpreter. She was an atheist for 35 years and converted to

Catholicism in 2009. Since her mystical transformation she gave over her

life completely to the Divine Providence. She is a Christian Healer and

concerned with religion and spirituality.

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Contents

Introduction: St. Teresa of vila

I. Absolute Trust - Basic Trust

What does absolute Trust mean, and how do I get it?

II. Providence

Life with Providence a Life of Joy and Devotion

Providence rather than Wish-fulfilment

What is the Reaction of your Environment, if you turn to God?

III. GOD

Who or what is God?

Who or what are We?

How do we find God?

My God, why? When we doubt and despair

The Doubt

The Despair

IV. The Holy Spirit

Who or what is the Holy Spirit?

The Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit (Charisma)The Twelve Fruits of the Holy Spirit

The Seven Consolations of the Holy Spirit

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V. Jesus

My Path to Jesus

Encouraging Words of Jesus for You

VI. Mary

Blessed Mother Mary

Sister Mary

VII. Enlightened Faith

The Light of God in Man

Mindfulness / Awareness / Enlightenment

Thoughts and Feelings

VIII. Prayer

The Types of Prayer

Levels of Inner Prayer

IX. Forgiveness and Liberation

Sin, Repentance and Penance

X. Healing through Faith and Prayer

The biggest Secret of Healing

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XI. Humility

Take me as I am or:

My Path through the Needle's Eye

XII. From Love to Enlightenment

Love

Dolorism

Ego

Awareness

Enlightenment

XIII. Mysticism

Do we need a new Mysticism?

Nice Words from nice People: What is Mysticism?

Literature

Appendix: Transverberation

Thanks

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Introduction

St. Teresa of vila

Teresa Sanchez de Cepeda y Ahumada was born on 28 March 1515 in

vila (Northwest of Madrid, in Castilla, Spain), her father was a Jew

converted to Christianity. To avoid the accusation of heresy, he accepted a

peerage. Teresa enjoyed a strict upbringing. For fear of marriage, she

finally came in 1535 into the Order of Carmelites in vila. Her health

deteriorated steadily, until she lay in a coma a year later and was buried

almost alive. During her three years of convalescence, she had the first

mystical vision. The more she grew in her spirituality, her condition

became better. Through many trials, Teresa found her way to God and

perfected her worship of Him. Her friendly nature, her natural authority and

her female wisdom helped her along the path to her own monastery of the

Discalced Carmelite Foundation, a more severe form of the Order. Other

convents of monks and nuns followed, overall, it was to amount to

seventeen convents.

Teresa's life was a ceaseless development of intellectual maturity and inner

strength, at the end revealing the mysteries of the Trinity, and she

eventually found her Soul within the mystical marriage, the perfect union

with God, her true peace. Teresa died on 4 October 1582. She left behind

numerous works: more than 400 letters, poems, documents for theInquisition about the trials of her confessors and the monastic foundations

and the spiritual gifts of her mystical experiences. She described her

maturation process of contemplation, transformation and enlightenment in

her books Way of Perfection, Book of my Life and The Interior

Castle.

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The mystique of this woman is an expression of absolute and unconditional

Love for God and Man; humble and grateful joy. Her devotion to God was

marked not only by this great Love, but characterized by an infinite trust

and the willingness to everything, absolutely everything to accept what

God had intended for her, always knowing that God meant well and had

transformed her from a rough to a dazzling diamond.

As had Saint John of the Cross and Saint Padre Pio, Teresa also

experienced the Transverberation, the transfixion of her heart. This event is

presented in the Appendix of this book. Teresa described it with great

sensuality. Her choice of words and the presentation of the transfixion of

her heart by the sculptor Lorenzo Bernini in a beautiful marble sculpture,

had left the impression that it was Teresa's way of expressing her eroticism.

It was the finale of her Divine heart opening, which she experienced

physically and mentally. On 4 July 1585 her coffin was opened she was

found to be undecayed. In 1614 followed her Beatification by the Catholic

Church, and on 12 March 1622, her Canonization. Pope Paul VI. appointed

her on 27 September 1970 to Doctor of the Church.

*

I went over to Teresa of vila via Edith Stein, because on a large portrait of

Edith Stein something fascinated me that I had watched only for a short

time upon myself, a dark dot on the forehead above the nose. It was after

my own Catholic Confirmation in June 2009, when the Holy Spirit came

with great effect upon me. This Confirmation was a mystical experience,

which I reflected on that day in a strong dazedness and the even stronger

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desire for quietness. During the next three days and nights a great change

happened within me. In retrospect, since that day everything became

different.

In the next few days, this impression was also visible externally by two

vertical red lines on my forehead. They appeared whenever I connected

with God, through prayers for others and for myself every day. These lines

became stronger, as well as the Holy Spirit restructured and refined His

grace that He had given me. I was informed by a former healing client of

the change on my forehead. For almost two months she came every day

and therefore had the opportunity to watch my progress. Again there are

those lines on your forehead, she often said after her treatment. It

reminded me of the Book of Revelation: And they shall see His face, and

His name shall be on their foreheads. (Rev.22, 4)

One afternoon I visited the St. Mary's Church in Bad Bergzabern to find

rest and recharge. There was a large picture of Edith Stein. I stood before

her and spoke to her. It took not long time an she began to glow, just as the

Virgin Mary is lit, when I am talking to her. So now I had become

acquainted with Edith Stein, and thus I was interested in this woman and

her story. I read some of it, but at that time it became too difficult to pursue

at this stage in my life.

Edith Stein died on 9 August 1942 in Auschwitz-Birkenau. Pope John Paul

II blessed her in 1987 and Canonized her in 1998. Blessed are they which

came out of great tribulation, and have washed their robes and made them

white in the blood of the Lamb (Rev. 7:14). With these words Pope John

Paul II began his oration at the Beatification of Edith Stein in Cologne

1987.

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Edith Stein thus led me to her great Teacher and her role model: Teresa of

vila. When I read of her, I was captivated by her, and that has not changed

since. Teresa of vila had herself become one with God. She gave herself

entirely to be recreated by God. She was at the end to become a Being that

had refined and deified the Human condition to the highest possible level.

This is a state of being that is accessible to all of us Humans on Earth. It is

the proverbial Heaven on Earth.

From the worldly point of view considered, Teresa is through and through a

true woman, an enlightened woman. She was strong, intelligent, humorous,

sensual, passionate and devoted. Somehow I found myself in her: Every-

thing and nothing, never based on the opinion of others, but always at the

top, first and foremost, kind of involuntary, vaguely driven by my own

inner strength as well as the strength of people with their Soul I am

combined; nevertheless in absolute loyalty and devotion and humility

before the One composing all my life: God.

I was fascinated over Teresa's writings! I then found the courage to live

even today with a strong, powerful, dedicated, passionate and joyful

spirituality, and to confess to my own mysticism. Now I find that I want to

serve my fellow Man with my Love for the Infinite Love of God.

*Get to make me as lovely as possible to others.

I do not want to be a Saint living with that

would be so hard but to become an old curmudgeon

would instead be the crowning work of the Devil.

(Teresa of vila)

*

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I.

Absolute Trust Basic Trust

What does absolute Trust mean, and how do I get it?

The universal, irrevocable and indestructible trust is the basic confidence of

all persons, endowed by our Creator within our brain stem. It is the

willingness of a Humans innate devotion to his Creator and to his fellow

men identified as brothers. However, we have the basic trust to be activated

in our consciousness by mental awareness in contrast to the primal

instinct laid down in the subconscious. It is closely related to the energy of

life, the affirmation of life and sexual power. An energetic, powerful person

who enjoys life and always says yes to life, has the basic confidence. If this

basic trust is not given, the primal energy of life and the affirmation of life

are missing, and he must always take from the outside and others the power

to live.

The activation of basic trust is according to the in-depth psychology given

during the first year of a child. In my experience, the seed is placed for this

already in procreation: A welcomed baby begotten in deep Love and

devotion will always be a beloved child. Within this Love there is often a

year-long yearning for a child and the boundless joy when the woman is

finally pregnant. These feelings of longing, joy and Love are the energiesthat are never dissolving, they remain stored in the hearts of the parents and

are transmitted to their child; this will be able to trust and love during all its

life, because that trust and Love is dwelling in itself. Therefore, this

confidence is irrevocable and indestructible. It may be shaken by a strong

disappointment in the short term but it will never be extinguished!

Because it is always nourished by the Love of God, and this Love of God

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takes us through all difficulties as His consolations handle any

disappointment, allowing us to forgive and forget.

An 'accident' of parenthood will never know this deep Love, of course,

even though it may also be loved, but it is another form that does not

include those seeds of basic trust. My message to all those good random

products of parenthood: God has willed that you were conceived! He has

brought together your parents. You are inscribed in the Book of Life of

your mother and your father. Even if you were not planned: In their

subconscious hidden depths, your parents knew it.

If that was not quite enough to instill the basic trust, you can still learn and

practice it at any age. Perhaps you may never lose your distrust completely,

but eventually it might prevent you from any stupidities.

The best way to learn deep confidence is by believing in God. You can trust

Him unconditionally. Then you can believe in yourself, and gradually open

yourself to other faithful people. You then gain the confidence that these

people are serious about you and you will never be cheated by them. Of

course it applies to all people: They may come and go in our life. If you

have a tendency to cling to them, there is no fault if that person decides for

good reason to leave you. Trust means giving others the freedom to live

their own life. There can be only so much overlap with another as Godintended it for you both and how you may need it to last in order to develop

together.

Look confidently into the future, even if your life situation is uncertain. Do

believe in God, then you know that this will help, you can then safely jump

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into the cold water. This is life within Providence. Surrender to the power

of life and to say:

Maybe I'm at a turning point in life.

Maybe I should lose this job because somewhere

a better one is waiting for me.

Maybe I should go through with this disease,

in order to learn from it and grow in my life.

Maybe I should ask for nothing, but just let

Providence make it happen!

So you simply let yourself drift like this and not even make a decision?,

I'm sometimes asked. No, I do not let myself drift. Quite the contrary; I live

mindfully, attentively, aware, empathetic and gazing intensely focused on

everything I do and others do around me. I watch, open myself, admit,

surrender; I trust and know it's good, everything is in Divine Order. That's

the freedom which I mean.

Once a person engages in his own life path, he is closing his great Book of

Life written by God, and opens his own where he can romp with free will,

that God has also made available to him. This becomes the Book of

Detours. He may be free to undertake countless detours, no question. But it

is not his life. Of course we may make decisions and draw conclusions, we

can even turn the world upside down and begin each day as if it were the

first day of our lives. The main thing is that we remain united to God, and

to know our true Book of Life. We also assume the responsibility to do so

and we must therefore take it on whole-heartedly.

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Imagine: God knows every hair on your head so He already knows the

next step in your life. He knows your next Boss, your next home, your life

partner, and He knows who your child is to be. He looked at everything

He had made, and behold, it was very good (Genesis 1:31). And you

know: The Creation has never been completed. God creates in every day of

our lives. He therefore takes a second look at everything that He has

created and He will always find everything to be good and correct.

Provided we bring Him what we have received from Him, constantly

present, so to speak, for inspection. Look after that, does it still fit with my

current life or do we have to change something about it? Let the energies

flow constantly, so that everything may adopt to your life, and never make

the mistake of being lazy and think: Now, everything will stay the way it

is. This is a dangerous illusion. Just as every cell in our body is constantly

changing, so, too, everything around us must change and adjust. This is

Gods will and care for as long as we allow Him to work with us, because

He has already completed our major network of life long ago and updates it

constantly. So it is important not to rely too much on the advice of our

friends and acquaintances or of the many professional life advisors.

I've also accompanied many people. Here I always try to make sure not to

directly alter their actions when they are seeking help. The solving and

goal-oriented support designated as 'coaching' is ideal. Here I address my-self to your Soul. What does your Soul need, wherever does it take your

heart? This is telling me your subconscious, and I help you to perceive the

messages of your Soul, to respect and implement your wishes into reality.

You see it in nature: When Man intervenes, the climate goes out of balance.

Or if he is deleting an animal species, that can have a huge impact on the

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entire animal kingdom. The farmer spraying his fields to keep out the

weeds, is killing off the wild plants that serve as food for the insects, and

then the birds stay away, and so on. Once we begin to enforce things with

our own mind without being connected to God, we not only bring ourselves

out of balance, but also our environment because we are not isolated

Beings.

This carries over to our immediate environment and makes more and more

circles. When deciding on a new job, you are influencing your entire fami-

ly, and, so to speak, you are re-mixing the cards for your future and the

future of your family, your friends, your colleagues and in turn their future

and so it goes on endlessly. Rely on your inner voice that comes from

God, and be ready for everything to come. He knows your Lifes Plan, one

in which not only you are involved but all other people.

Providing that you are not stuck in a time warp and may repeat your life

over and over like the actor in the movie Groundhog Day, experiencing

every day the same scene over and over again until he becomes, through

his self-education a better person, and finally one morning reaches a totally

new scene, so it will depend on you how you will come back to your Book

of Life. Here it will be written that you will meet on any given day a certain

person or a new job, which will lead your life in a determined direction.

These events are already waiting for you.

Which particular people did God probably write into your Book of Life?

Think about situations that were somehow special, where you felt: now

God has just laid the groundwork for a major new phase of my life. When

you first met your lifes Partner, for example, you probably felt you were

not just waiting simply for any Human that might come along, but for this

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particular person, this special Soul. You have your whole life long sought

each other unconsciously, until now you have found each other.

What was your age when the most important people in your life came to

you or when your life changed? There is the well-known Rhythm of Seven

in our lives, that is, certain periods which can be divided into the Seven

Ages of life, where major changes will come to you. Each of those stages

of life can be coupled with a certain period:

0 7: Toddler

7 14: Child

14 21: Puberty / education

21 28: Study / family planning / career

28 35: Profession / career / family

35 42: Established profession

42 49: Additional cultural activities

49 56: Rearranging life to a new phase

56 63: Reaping the seeds of life

63 70: Retirement / Becoming wise and at ease

The rest depends on how you have imagined your life. If you were talking

constantly of a retirement coming at the age of 65 years, it will very soon

be upon you, as you will have become used to this way of thinking. If youwere thinking: I will die soon, that will also soon become the case. You

will be constantly living as if you were already dead. If on the other hand

you take life in a relaxed way, you may reach a hundred years of age. In our

Book of Life the final day of our life is already written down. We can

determine through our thoughts how we achieve it, whether we feel young

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or old and used, whether we stay healthy or ill. For these life stages the

course and the cornerstones are set.

Of course we can ourselves make our own choice! Providing we always

remember that we are composed of a combination of Body, Mind and Soul,

everything is fine. Then the Mind is bringing forth nothing he has not

already discussed with the Soul. And the Soul is united with God. Ideally,

you are one with Jesus Christ. Ideally, the Holy Spirit is hovering above

you. As long as this ideal situation has not occurred, your Soul will

demonstrate this to you through so-called tragedies, bad luck, or by disease.

Then you will again be given a chance to find God and also to be found by

Him. You have the chance to find Jesus and Mary God is very resourceful

when it comes to sending you His helpers. Maybe I'm your helper with this

book.

Now we come back to the people in your Lifes Book. After all, some of

these are the Divine helpers. In my Book of Life, there are some important

helpers. By a helper I mean a person who helps us in a positive way. Some

also help by simply doing nothing so that we are encouraged to rely on

ourselves. However, there are also people who are shaking us up, who are

hurting us at first glance, what in retrospective has put us back on track.

So they are indeed helpers, even though they are people to whom we do not

like to look back upon and whom we also have to forgive in order to getahead. These helpers are not written in our Book of Life. They are in the

auxiliary books, which we wrote for possible detours. They nevertheless

are helping us back on to track in our Book of Life.

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Think about who caused harm to you very much in your life, and who has

really hurt you. What did result from that, and how has it in effect changed

your life?

Many people have one major upheaval in their lives. This is usually caused

by a disease or affliction which can significantly change your life. In my

own experience, after having made many consultations, this usually hap-

pens between the 42nd and 49th years of age and then it is often your last

warning. So it was with me. I was 48 years old when I had strained the

patience of God to the point where He gave me a serious lesson. My then

14 years old daughter and I lived together with our seven years old dog, a

cheerful and clever Border Collie named Timmi, and to this dog I owe my

life now. He sacrificed his life for me.

More of this tragedy I will not enlarge upon, but it is enough to understand

why it happened: I was not following my true Road of Life, nor did I not

have my plan of Salvation in sight. This was because at a young age I had

banished God from my life, on the assumption that He had sent me too

many disasters in my family, too many losses through their having all died

or moved away. And the worst thing was: I somehow felt guilty for this,

knowing that with my energy there was something wrong. I presumed that I

was perhaps adversely affecting those around me by constantly giving out

too much. Not in terms of the physical strength of my body, but an energythat you cannot easily identify, which is felt internally and constantly

bubbling inside like a volcano. I just knew that I seemed to attract people

who had not long to live, people of all ages.

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Anyone who begins life with a near-death experience, finds a deep imprint

of God. So it was with my birth. God showed me on a Sunday afternoon,

exactly at 3 pm, at the time of St. Mary, His light and carried me back into

life which my parents and the midwife were fighting for at home and the

rest of my family was praying in church. This Light, which at that time I

did not consciously experience, but which is deeply imprinted in my sub-

conscious, I searched for all my life and found it again at my Catholic

Confirmation. The Holy Spirit enlightened me again, and it was all up with

me.

Perhaps this profound experience at birth was also the reason that when I

was a young child I was considered as something as a prodigy in the

matters of God and the Gospel. Mind you, as a Protestant child prodigy, as

I was born into my Father's Protestant household. It was thanks to my

Catholic Mother's family, that the Angels and Saints were integrated into

my life. But where did my strength in the Bible come from? There was not

a Bible passage that I did not know and could not quote, and of which each

was cross-referenced with the Author and Chapter. As a result I put quite a

stress on my religious Teachers and Priests, as I also wanted to learn more

about every reference and also to constantly discuss it.

Already by that time I knew that this could not be the answer to everything,

I was always aware that there had to be something more. I read and studiedand discussed, but no one spoke of the Love of God, and so no one reached

my heart. This carried on up to my Protestant Confirmation at the age of

thirteen, the priest handed me the Bread and the Wine and somehow it

was over. The Holy Spirit had not ignited the great flame within me, but

left it as the small smoldering flame burning within me since birth. The

Holy Spirit preferred to wait for a later time in the knowledge that I must

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meanwhile undertake my life experiences on my own. Self-employed,

alone, yet seeming to be knowing everything and capable of everything,

with a big mouth and waving too many flags through life's path and leaving

not a few traces of devastation behind me. Not many people did stand it!

*

I'm just a wretched woman.

(Teresa of vila)

*

So I walked through life for further 35 years without God, full of

confidence in myself I always had the basic trust that I have mentioned in

the beginning. God was certainly there, but I did not overly concern myself

with Him. I had also always been fortunate. Of course it was not just luck,

it was the Providence of God, coupled with my own skills that I worked

within major German companies I experienced their upheavals and in

between I emigrated once to Paris and a second time to Brittany, but only to

return to Germany each time after a year recognising that French people

also put their pants in the same way and in Germany I could always find

better work.

This further trend continued: Wherever I went, I met people and situations

that were in a transition stage or on the verge of difficulties. God made itimpossible to just settle down somewhere comfortably. I constantly found

myself in a transitional situation, and became the expert in crisis manage-

ment in every respect. When anyone needed to know what to do next, I

came into my peak performance.

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Seven years ago, time had come, my fate had struck. Before the turn a

challenge happened I had never known before: I had to forgive the man

who had caused the biggest crisis of my life in killing Timmi, our dog.

Gradually I succeeded. God allowed me to recognize and accept my own

responsibility. So I could remove that resentment from my Soul. So I pre-

pared the way for the people who felt my strength and lead me into the

right direction. I became clear of that which is within me. I realized it was

God, although not entirely, but I knew: That's not me that was healing

people, removing through prayer the curses on homes or diverting storms

and doing other seemingly inexplicable things that was God.

My first effective Lord's Prayer I did alongside a woman who also had

much infusion of the Holy Spirit. She was often asked to help when people,

animals and possessions were under a curse, as evidenced by their experi-

ences of recurrent disaster. At that time I found myself close by her when a

telephone call came to her from a family calling for help: their barn was on

fire!

She said: Monika, come, we shall pray together. I did not ask why and

did not hesitate, so I sat down beside her and prayed the Lord's Prayer for

the first time in 35 years. Again, and then a third time, and I still remember

that there was a great power rising within me and the attendant feeling of

compassion not only with this woman who had just included me, prob-ably knowing that God had brought me these seeds to germinate and which

were about to sprout, but even with these suffering people and their animals

in mortal danger. After an hour, the situation had calmed down and

resolved itself. The firefighters had done their bit, and the Fire-devil had

been defeated by God we were sure!

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That's it? I thought at the time. Just pray the Lord's Prayer? I can! If

there is no more that can be done, I still can! At that time there was no

more that could be done but to pray. Even today there is nothing more

valuable than praying. It's the same for all situations at any level, although

for me there has also been a great Love story with God between then and

now.

*

If I had known earlier

that the tiny palace of my Soul

is housing such a great King,

I would not have left Him alone so often.

(Teresa of vila)

*

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II.

Providence

John 1:1,14 In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God

and the Word of God ... And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us,

and we beheld His glory, glory as of the only begotten Son of God the

Father, full of grace and truth. First there was silence. Jesus Christ existed

first as a thought of God and His Word in His providence, in His plan.

When the time was ripe, the word became flesh, and Jesus came as our

Savior on Earth. Salvation means enlightenment. Through Him we can let

God's Light shine through us and be a Light of God ourselves.

As we ourselves also were starting in the silence of God in His Word and

His thought, so we go into the silence, and then create with our thoughts

and our words anew. We are the creator and sustainer of our health. Our

destructive thoughts can make our body become diseased. They can lead to

a destructive life. On the other hand our loving, forward-looking thoughts

can create a life of health and dignity. Love creates Love. It is entirely up to

ourselves, what we make of our lives. If we have not grasped the meaning

of life, we will have to suffer it. The meaning of suffering is to suffer. It

comes not from God. He has our plan within a grid placed in His hand.

The core of all created existence is made up of His Light and His Love.God is joy and abundance for all of time. We may well already enjoy in

this life His gifts, for only in this moment we are living consciously. The

past is gone, the future is before us, only in the present exists the

awareness, mindfulness, and only in the present now can we live

consciously and responsibly.

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Why has God given us this beautiful Planet Earth, if not for this life in the

here and now? So that we should use it. We have to ensure the preservation

of the Earth. We must also pay attention to develop ourselves with His gifts

and not to abuse them in an otherwise superficial life. We live with the

Body, Mind and Soul in this life in the here and now. Just as we wish it to

be. If we are completely at one with God and are also aware of it, we can

leave our thoughts and actions in turn wholly to Him, to live in certainty,

according to God's design in Love and abundance.

That comes through His preeminent Grace and with the cooperation of the

free will of rational creatures, as the term 'Providence' is described accord-

ing to 'Wikipedia': A higher power that influences the fate of people and

the course of world history. Providence is the almighty and omniscient

God, inasmuch as He in His advanced awareness is correcting the Worlds

events and saving those from their own destructive actions. This can be

done in several ways: according to the Laws of Nature, through miracles,

through His preeminent Grace, through involvement with the free-will of

rational creatures, or by admitting our sins, but this excludes any of His

direct involvement...

It was Divine Providence that brought me to the historic town of Lim-

burg/Lahn. I pursued this goal without question, just knowing that it had to

be! I had become aware in the year of 2008, that my life would continue todecline significantly. By September 2008 I felt impelled to move to

Limburg on the River Lahn.

In the later Chapter entitled 'Blessed Mother Mary', I describe how I had

found the house in Limburg. It was so easy, I was led up to it. Two minutes

after praying to Mother Mary in the Cathedral of Limburg, I found myself

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standing in front of the house in the little narrow street leading to the

Cathedral, and in November I moved there. I had hardly brought with me

any furniture, which was good thing as I could not have fitted more into

this small and narrow 550 year old half-timbered house with its three floors

leading up from a narrow twisting stairway. I had instead brought with me

my many statues of the Saints, and the house itself radiated a sacred

spiritual atmosphere.

This was to be the best event for me at the time, because it led me on a path

straight to God. I soon was to visit Him in the Cathedral, even several times

a day. Not only during religious Services but also the times in between.

This great Catholic temple attracted me like magic. There were moments

when I could feel the energy pulling me up the Cathedral hill, day and

night. God pulled me there, He wanted me in 'His Church'!

In 2008 I spent a wonderful Christmas and New Year's Eve involved in the

ceremonies of the Cathedral. In January 2009, I experienced the first Ponti-

fical Mass, and within that Mass it came to me: In the liturgy I sensed a

major spiritual force, I saw with my eyes closed a deep purple, indicating

the highest spirituality, the prayers went through and through me, and the

Cathedral Choir sang with an almost unbearable beauty.

And then, from an unexpected source, God sent forth me a helper,Johannes, with whom I had a Platonic friendship. His life at that point had

not gone as planned, and when he phoned me from Berlin and told me that

he was not happy, my answer was: Come to Limburg! The next day he

was there and was to share my new home for a considerable period.

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In previous times I had taught Johannes the virtues of trusting in God. He

was well versed in this thinking as he comes from a very Catholic family

which included two priests. Actually, Johannes had also wanted to be a

priest, and had practiced for this as a child in his sandbox busily distri-

buting home baked communion wafers to the delighted neighbourhood

women. However, in later life he preferred the boardwalks of the world to

an altar in the church. Well, that time was now over and I reminded him

with my newly found passion for God and the Church of his own past as a

Catholic. Now it was his turn to teach me something, and he did.

So you want to be Catholic?, he laughed, then we will practice. He

took out a prayer book and began teaching:. Hail Mary, full of grace, Thou

art Blessed among women ... What does it mean? I asked, I dont

know those words and will never be able to learn!

No, that had not inspired me, I felt I wanted something more. Johannes

went with me to worship in the Cathedral. I wanted to sit down but he fold

down the foot bench, at least I did consider as such, and ordered: Kneel

down! I did it, oh, and it hurt. This is too hard, I cannot, I protested. If

you want to be Catholic, you have to kneel, was his comment. And he

pressed me down off the kneeling bench. So I knelt and murmured to

myself, I had thought it might be different from this.

During the Mass, I was compensated. Now Johannes paid attention that I

was behaving like a Catholic. Getting up, then sitting down, getting up

again, kneeling, singing, praying, kneeling again, a very sensual experi-

ence. It was not boring: there was a lot of movement, the fragrant incense,

the beautiful impressions derived from the organ music and the choir and

the priests who looked so well in their colourful and beautiful robes. I

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learned that not only does one become a Catholic with ones Body, Mind

and Soul, but also with much Love in the heart!

I soon found that I wanted to be truly Catholic and belong to the Church!

And above all I wanted finally go to Communion. And so I made an ap-

pointment in the Priest's Office, had some preliminary meetings, and on 25

June 2009 I had achieved my first milestone: my Communion. Johannes

was to be my religious Godfather. He still raves about how his hair stood

on end by the force and energy that the Holy Spirit was pouring out on us

by the highly gifted Priest blessing me.

When I was finally confirmed, it all really then started for me. Every

church in the parish of St. George was to become my church. At a rough

estimate, I visited during the following year about seven hundred church

services, on average two times a day: the daily Morning Mass, the Mass for

women, the Evening Masses during the week, and the Friday evening

ecumenical Worship Service this I soon gave up because of the missing

passion even the final blessing was not strong enough. On the other hand

every two weeks there was the Mass in the Latin Rite, which touched me

very deeply. The Soul remembers, writes the Pope. Yes, my Soul remem-

bered very well, and first of all, I was so touched by this kind of celebration

that it almost tore my insides apart. Maybe it was because of the wonderful

officiating Priest, for his morning worship services in the Cathedral had thesame effect. As soon as he was there, Jesus was there, and this time I had a

very intense period of repentance that I had left Him and the Church alone

for such a long time.

On the weekends I attended the Vigil Mass on Saturday and the High Mass

as well as the evening Mass on Sunday. It all was adding up! In between

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the Vespers and the Devotion of the Blessed Sacrament and the Rosary and

Stations of the Cross, and once a month, there was also the Marian Mass in

a small chapel in the Westerwald, which lasted up to four hours. Here, the

Priest blesses everyone with a small Monstrance that was something very

special to me! (For all non-Catholics: A Monstrance (monstrare to

show) is a precious liturgical display device with a window area in which

a consecrated wafer is exposed to reverence and worship, crafted with gold

and precious stones).

I could not get enough. The Catholic life captivated me, and I wondered

what was happening to me. I took on a complete internal transformation,

with sin, repentance, atonement, penance, forgiveness, and my innermost

Soul turned inside out and also inwards. Whereby I was not to forget the

joy! Likewise, my at that time still present inclinations towards the theat-

rics and passion I could completely unfold. Johannes! How nice it was

once again! The organ, the music, the choir! Such were my feelings when

I came home on Sunday noontimes after a Mass in the Cathedral. Some-

times I became totally withdrawn into myself and even unresponsive to

others, because I was still thinking over the meaning of the sermon.

I will never forget my first adoration and blessing of the Monstrance: I was

completely dissolved in tears, sobbing, shaking, trembling, I thought my

last hour had come. When I eventually succeeded in making the short wayhome, I was not able to speak about it. It took a double brandy with

Johannes to completely to calm me down and to control myself. Now I

realise that my Soul had seen God and had gone totally out of control.

These conditions were repeated at every sight of the Monstrance, and only

abated slowly with time. It was a state of ecstasy, as Saint Teresa of vila

described in her book, The Interior Castle. However, we must be aware

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that ecstasy is not always a happy state, it can also at times be the absolute

opposite.

Even when the period of euphoria was over and I could think clearly again,

my newly found passion for the Catholic being remained. I may have at

times criticized it and wanted to change much, even sometimes wishing to

give it all up because things did not move forward fast enough, or even

thinking I may be in the wrong place! Around Pentecost 2010 I stayed

completely away from the Church for five weeks, in order to check out

what would last.

And I realized that everything remained the same. I was also becaming

aware that I was being led through the Love for the Infinite Love that was

growing inside me the Church as an institution did not influence it.

Nevertheless, deep down I felt I had always maintained my Love for this

great institution. I felt full of humility and gratitude that they had accepted

me, an outsider, with such open arms. I now firmly hold that the Church

I am speaking now of the universal Church of God, not only of the Catholic

Church, although I personally prefer the Catholic Church was created by

God / the Holy Spirit and is still under His protection, otherwise they

would not have survived the past 2,000 years.

*If there are many Mansions in Heaven,

there are also many ways to get there.

(Teresa of vila)

*

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Life with Providence - a Life of Joy and Devotion

The devotion to God makes me happy. That joy comes from my heart, it is

the joy of the faithful. Look at the true believers more precisely: We radiate

inwardly. We may have as many wrinkles as everyone else, but that does

not matter. We send out a Light, and it is the Divine Light. The greater the

spirituality by that I mean the faith lived the greater the perceived and

lived joy.

Sometimes it can be almost unbearable for others to put up with, that I

admit. However, I can also hardly bear to see the discontent around me.

The shallowness of society that lives only for its fun and entertainment has

long since proven a scourge to Mankind. This shallowness of being comes

over those who have no connection to God. In the not too distant future it

may all collapse and not be sustained.

The Czech writer Milan Kundera wrote about the excesses of those people

turned away from God, in a good book: The Unbearable Lightness of

Being, which was also made into a film. In this novel, Tomas falls in Love

with Teresa, who is serious in her feelings towards him, but Tomas has

nothing better to do than to escape into infidelity and other worldly

distractions. Then everything disintegrates and somehow they both die.

Life in the Love of God can surely be called as 'he Lightness of Being.

Everything becomes simple, everything becomes easier. Even the toughest

trials of life and the most difficult parts of it are bearable with God on our

side and with Jesus Christ in our heart.

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As long as I say no to God, I am limiting myself. In this limitation I am not

giving God the permission to give me what He wishes to give me. And as

long as I do not feel good enough within one field it is influencing all

others. This feeling of not being good enough is based on a lack of self-

Love: I am not enough, so I am not worthy of it all.

If I say yes to God, I then find myself in the vastness of an open space in

which everything happens. To say yes to God, is to accept everything He

provides. I open myself for all that He wants to give me. This is the fullness

we may live in. However, the more I may have in material possessions, the

less I need. If I do not live in sense of lack, I am happy with a few things.

How glad I am not dependant on material possessions. I may depend on

other Human Beings, but I never want to make anyone dependent on me.

This means the opposite: the claim of ownership, the need of possession,

the greed. No, I feel myself as being enough, I rest content within myself. I

have a relationship with God. It can never be that God will give us what we

do not need. God is Love, and so He gives us Love. He gives us Joy, He

gives us Peace. We can be sure it is exactly the right moment He is caring

for us. Because as I said above God saw that it was good. God knows

our true path of Salvation, He has our Book of Life; so He becomes the

Stage Director, He knows how it should continue onwards. That is my

conviction.

*

God will not grow tired of giving

and His mercies are infinite.

Let us not become tired of receiving.

(Teresa of vila)

*

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Providence rather than Wish-fulfilment

There is a new science in the great arena of Esoteric: the wish-fulfilment.

The intent was certainly meant well, but what people made of it was a new

kind of life of consumption: Now they are usually in a position to satisfy

their material needs. My house, my car, my boat will now be imagined

and materialized, and new consumer goods are always being added.

Everything created according to the original secrets of visualizing ones

wishes! They then call it luck and success.

The only mistake is that this materialization has nothing to do with our

liberation. Quite the opposite: it is counterproductive. We sought to create

the luck to find the wealth within ourselves and what was it? The new

garbage of prosperity that clogs us from outside, preventing our self-

fulfilment of the Divine within.

God the Providence has already created the wealth. When Jesus says,

Thou fool, this night thy Soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall

those things be, which thou hast provided? So is he that layeth up treasure

for himself, and is not rich toward God (Luke 12.20-21), He meant the

wealth of Love, of health, of inner peace, and it has nothing to do with all

the material possessions. Providence brings us even our income. Do not

worry, God knows the needs of our daily bread, and that includes not onlythe daily Communion with the Body of Jesus, but also the cost of our

worldly life, and all that He cares for. In principle He is not interested in

providing us with the accumulation of material things, because that blocks

out our essential life and keeps us away from His Love.

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You do not need now to resolve to give away your collection of antiques,

but it's good to think about it. As long as the preservation of old values is

important, there is certainly no objection to that. But if the collecting mania

becomes rampant, it can take on dramatic excesses, which I myself have

often observed and it has puzzled and worried me.

Let the energy flow in your life constantly. If you are blocked on one side

by a passion for collecting, you should ensure that there still remains a

healthy circulation of energy and you will not lose the joy of life.

Otherwise, you bury yourself.

*

Those who can not enjoy,

become unbearable.

(Teresa of vila)

*

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How does your Environment react, if you turn to God?

You are not taken seriously anymore as well as that, no one can really

comprehend. This is just a too high level for them! And your ascent to God

was probably made too quickly for them, and in the beginning they will try

to find out how serious you are. Once they understand your commitment,

they will tend to turn away from you they become uninterested. Honestl-

y, they say, do you really want to say that you do not want to have any

part in worldly life? No one can imagine that you do not need it. Nobody

understands that you have a much greater wealth than you've ever had in

money, and that God is for you your first place partner, and that any pos-

sible life partner must then also qualify with a Love for God. I cannot be

with anyone with whom I can not talk about God, wrote Teresa of vila.

For me also, there is no other way.

Then there are those who are acting as if they were on the same wave

length as you. They speak of God as if they had experienced anything of

significance in their lives. They appear to be Bible readers and accompany

you to church, so they may have some influence with you. But you feel it's

not genuine. There are always some points they are bringing up against the

Church, they complain about the money the Church is taking in, the

scandals within the Church, as if the world had none of its own.

Does this concern you you personally on your way to God, in your Love

for God? No! You may also get an earful of offenses listed against God,

listen to dumb jokes about Jesus or the like. This you quickly come to dis-

like, because it hurts you personally in your Soul. You also may have the

problem of getting your required time for prayer and retreat, because your

friends do not understand that you are no longer available every day for

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hours of phone calls and you are no longer interested in the problems of the

world. You know them, because you have still your thinking mind. But

you know there is nothing to be gained by searching outside and nothing to

do. You can only find it in your heart.

Love does not mean to say Yes and Amen to everybody. It also needs

sometimes to be saying No. Separate yourself from people who want to

suck in your energies, consciously or unconsciously, and protect yourself

from negative outside energies. All that belongs to it. Because God gives us

obligations but also rights. And that includes the right of integrity of our

Soul and that of our loved ones.

I suggest to apply once a week the method I call The Needle's Eye, which

I describe in the later chapters. Give God everything, and wait for what He

gives you back. What you do not need any more, will not come back. For

this you will from now on only meet those people that belong to you. We

have all the time. But the world needs to have no more time wasted, to

make it a better place.

*

There is something very great,

in having a free heart and a quiet conscience.

(Teresa of vila)*

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III.

GOD

Who or what is God?

God is our Father in Heaven and on Earth

Heaven and Earth means to us this world we live in, and the afterlife in

which God the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, and all the Angels and

Saints live. Yet Heaven and Earth, the physical and the spiritual, is in every

Human Being. So we can say: God is in us, and He is outside of us. He

ignites in us the Love and Light, and He is outside the indescribable Love

and the overwhelming Light.

Teresa of vila wrote in her book: The Interior Castle, 7th Apartment:

For as He has His abode in Heaven, so He probably has a place in the

Soul, where only His Majesty dwells, so to speak, a second Heaven.

Teresa was very clever. There is God in the sky above us, so there's also the

equivalent in Man, in his Soul. 450 years ago Teresa risked to burn for this

doctrine openly on the stake today people see their God, if they have a

God, enthroned in Heaven somewhere far above. Poor world!

God is transpersonal

God is in every form, the smallest atom and the Universe's largest, at thesame time He is formless. We must not make any images of Him, as He is

outside of any form. Form means incarnation, God is everything outside of

each incarnation. He is nothing of form, He is the emptiness outside the

form. Since any emptiness is existing, this is all God. God is the silence,

because only in this silence God is tangible and audible. Therefore, it is so

important to make churches again to places of silence.

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God is personal

God is incarnated in Jesus Christ, His Son. Jesus is the form of God, His

Word became flesh. In Jesus Christ, the Anointed One, He became apparent

to the people and sent His Son for Salvation of all of us.

God speaks to us through the Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit is the Word of God and the giver of life. Originally, the

Word of God was received through the Prophets and Evangelists and

written down in the Book of Books, the Holy Bible.

God is with us by His Heavenly Helpers

To the Heavenly Helpers of God we count all blessed and sanctified, the

Archangels and a large hierarchy of Angels with all the dead who have

found God.

Many people see Mother Mary as His principal assistant. For He made Her

the Mother of His Son Jesus, and without Mary everything is only as half

as beautiful.

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Who or what are We?

We are the visible evidence of the presence of God on Earth. Our primal

substance comes from God. It is said that God created Man in His own

image. Since God has no form, we are in Spirit formless and shapeless. We

are not our bodies, we are not our thoughts and our feelings. We are truly of

Spirit. Because we, too, have the Divine in us, in our Self, our true Self,

which rises above our body and our thoughts and feelings. When we ask:

Who am I?, we are the questioner and not the one for which we ask. We

are pure Divine consciousness. Let's call it simply 'Divine' Soul'. If our

Divine Soul unites with God, then we are One with God, and this is the

greatest of all mysteries, because this can take place here on Earth. Jesus

speaks of this mystery in His metaphors and parables, because 2000 years

ago, He was not allowed to reveal it to the people because they were still

not ready to grasp it.

Our consciousness is ripe for the veracity, the truth and clarity. The Bible

speaks the Truth, everyone must divine it by his own. There is help for

anyone who seeks it, he will be led by Jesus (I am the way and the truth

and the Life: no Man cometh unto the Father but by me!).

*

Christ has no body now on earth but yours,no hands but yours,

no feet but yours

(Teresa of vila)

*

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How do we find God?

By going beyond all thoughts and feelings. By letting everything pass by,

the images and visions. Because these ideas are limited. Only when we are

completely open, He is there. He shows us, not vice versa. He decides

when the right time has come. If we still have blockages, fictions and guilty

feelings that are a hindrance, we must remove them. He let His light shine

through our Soul so that He can show us. God burns in every cell of our

body, and the longing for Him does never end.

This feeling is also described by people who had a near-death experience.

Once come into contact with God, having even seen the Light and life is

another. The highlight is the Unio Mystica, the mystical union, the vision of

God, happening in absolute secrecy of the deepest Soul.

When I read the first revelation of God to the people, as described in

Enoch's vision: Be still, know, I am God, I was deeply shaken. These

words God spoke directly to me! For a long time I could not read through

these verses up to the end without being disturbed completely, and they

touch me still. How could I be so blind, so deaf, have been so stupid! How

could I not have known! I cannot believe it yet, how it may be possible that

we simply do not know: God is here! Why are we so insulated that we are

not perceiving God? We count the words of a poem and do not realize itsmeaning.

Only when we are able to create within us a state of deep stillness, or better

put, if we find that space of silence within us, we are able to find God in

ourselves. Because only God can speak through the silence. Only through

the silence, a tone sounds, a word can be understood.

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Please be quiet, in order that God may speak to you:

I speak to you.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

I spoke to you

When you were born.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

I spoke to you

With your first glance.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

I spoke to you

With your first word.

Be quietKnow

I am God.

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I spoke to you

With your first thought.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

I spoke to you

With your first love.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

I spoke to you

With your first song.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

I speak to you

Through the grass of the meadow.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

I speak to you

Through the trees of the forests.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

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I speak to you

Through the valleys and hills.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

I speak to you

Through the Holy Mountains.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

I speak to you

Through rain and snow.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

I speak to you

Through the waves of the sea.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

I speak to you

By the dew of the morning.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

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I speak to you

By the evening's peace.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

I speak to you

By the glow of the sun.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

I speak to you

By the twinkling stars.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

I speak to you

By the storm and the clouds

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

I speak to you

By thunder and lightning.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

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I speak to you

Through the mysterious rainbow.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

I'll speak to you

If you are alone.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

I'll speak to you

Through the wisdom of the ancients.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

I'll speak to you

At the end of time.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

I'll speak to you

When you've seen my Angel.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

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I'll speak to you

In eternity.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

I speak to you.

Be quiet

Know

I am God.

(Source: The Gospel of the Essenes, complete edition book 1-4 The original texts from the Hebrew and

Aramaic, translated by Dr. Edmond Bordeaux Szkely, Publisher Bruno Martin.)

The Aramaic version was found in the Dead Sea Scrolls and is certainly

datable to the period between 130 BC and 68 AD. The Chronicles of Enoch

(Henoch) were in the 4th Century ascribed to the Apocrypha by Church

Father Jerome, and thus declared heretical. So Enoch's vision was taken out

of the Bible, but all that is good, eventually comes back and so it was

later discovered in the Dead Sea Scrolls, thanks to God!

*

God does not leave us in darkness.

Only when we leave Him,

We will perish

(Teresa of vila)

*

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My God, why? When we doubt and despair

The Doubt

Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani? My God, my God, why hast thou

forsaken me? (Mark 15:34; cf. Mt 27:46). According to Mark and

Matthew these were the last words of Jesus when He died on the Cross. It

is interpreted as a doubt. How could Jesus doubt His father if He and the

Father are one? Jesus knew God's plan for Him, He knew His mission, He

knew it already, when He as a twelve years old boy answered the teachers'

questions in the Temple in Jerusalem. Did you not know where I must be,

about my Father's house? He asked his outraged parents.

John was the only disciple of Jesus, who was present at His Crucifixion. He

describes Jesus' last words as follows: After this, Jesus knew that

everything was done, that the Scripture might be fulfilled, He says, 'I

thirst!' There was a vessel full of vinegar: and they filled a sponge with

vinegar and put it around a hyssop and held it to His mouth. When Jesus

had received the vinegar, He said: 'It is finished', bowed His head and gave

up. (John 19.28-30). Of course, Jesus did not doubt. He was a man, and

He was God's son. Jesus came to Earth to teach us of Love in order that we

may find God! He loved with all His heart. He did not need to learn it.

The question is, can we ever open our hearts so far? Yes! Anyway, we must

firmly believe that God holds our plan of Salvation in His hands, and He

never loses neither the plan nor ourselves ever out of His sight. And just as

Jesus was concerned with His healings that men would not doubt, so I am

also convinced that any doubt destroys everything. It prevents healing and

brings us out of our heart's Love. It prevents our prayers from reaching for

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God, for our Soul holds them back. Our Soul feels unworthy and bad when

we doubt. Because this doubt comes from our mind. Our Soul wants to

love, and we must allow it. If you want not only to be superficially healthy,

but healed of Body, Mind and Soul, think of Jesus' words that He spoke to

the two lepers who returned after the healing of the ten lepers to Him to

thank Him: Your faith hath made thee whole.

Jesus said unto the sick: Effata! Open up. Open yourself to God's Light

so it can flow through you and enlighten your Soul. It's all included. Faith,

hope and Love and trust, it's a good thing as it is. At baptism, the priest

touches the ears and mouth of the baby and says, Effata! To make clear

that the baby is open to the Holy Spirit.

Effata It is done by breathing in deeply. We breathe the Spirit of God

and receive His Love in our hearts.

This is important for our ongoing spiritual maturation. Only through a

growing faith in God can our life experiences make sense, even with all its

hardships and times of alienation and tests. Even if our life is sometimes

passing through a time of searching, it is never a search for the meaning of

life itself, it is only a time of drought and dryness, in which we can re-

arrange and re-structure our new life and salvation. Thus we come of age.

God needs mature people!

*

How rare are the people

who what they do, do it all.

(Teresa of vila)

*

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The Despair

Even if we believe in Eternal Life, the death of a loved one strikes us badly.

Each person handles the pain in his own way. Some experience a persistent

traumatic process over many years, and that takes away all the joy and

laughter in the ongoing lives of the survivors. In my opinion, the total

giving of ourselves to God helps best when in pain.

Offer up your pain to God. Whether quietly or loudly, it is good for your

Soul. Let it go into the abyss of life where you currently stand. Do not

strive against it! We can not deal with the loss, and we fear our own death,

because we still have a taboo on that fact.

But please do not ask God: Why have you left me?, rather ask him:

Please do not leave me! That will sound better, this is a request that He

likes to fulfil. The question: Why have you left me? brings you into

doubt and takes you away from your Love for Him. He will never abandon

us. We are the ones who turn away from Him in our pain because with our

doubts we close our hearts and therefore can no longer feel Him.

The biggest fear in connection with the death is our uncertainty about the

time following. Many do not believe in life after death, and this may to

them be an unimaginably horrible idea. Others believe in a Heaven and per-haps some sort of a Purgatory and Hell and are not sure how God will

judge them and whether they deserve either one or the other.

We are also afraid to be separated from our loved ones, thus harming them

and having to leave behind all that is precious to us. Perhaps it is helpful to

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remind ourselves that we go when dreaming at night into a similar state of

consciousness.

People who have ever had a near-death experience do know with absolute

certainty that there is no such thing as an end to life. The majority report of

a radiant, boundless Light and a feeling of infinite, indescribable Love. We

enter into this Light and are embraced by His Love, and we experience a

tremendous expansion of our consciousness. We meet the people again in

Heaven, those whom we loved. In this state we continue to live and

develop our Souls.

Purgatory, the punishment of God that we fear, is in fact a Life Review we

undertake. Surely that might for one or another be found to be difficult. If

we do not in this life ease and cleans our soul and our conscience, we must

do it in the Afterlife. Since we will find ourselves in unfamiliar territory in

an unfamiliar state, it may be found to be more difficult.

Maybe you doubt these thoughts: How does she know all this? The

mystical experiences are the same as near-death experiences. I know

through the Love of God and through my connection with Him. I know

how doubt feels, and I know very well the state of despair and sadness that

can be felt. I know deep in my heart that there is life after death, and I

know through my life and my work, that the Dead are with us.

As we are communicating with the Saints via telepathy, so we can also

communicate with the Dead from Soul to Soul. It actually becomes much

easier because there are no walls and no body dividing us any more. We

can recognize these Souls simply by a particular feeling. Through speaking

with them, we do it with the knowledge that our words and our feelings are

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received immediately. We simply tell them everything that had remained

unspoken. It's never too late! And remember:

*

The best and most precious is this:

Be silent and let God act and speak in silence

Amid the silence the secret word was spoken to me.

(Teresa of vila)

*

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IV.

The Holy Spirit

Who or what is the Holy Spirit?

Jesus said to His Apostles: And I will pray to the Father, and He shall give

you another Comforter, that He may abide with you for ever; Even the

Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth Him not,

neither knoweth Him: but ye know Him; for He dwelleth with you, and

shall be in you. I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. (John

14.16-18).

At Pentecost the Disciples of Jesus witnessed the whole spectrum of the

Holy Spirit in the form of His gifts and fruits. When the Day of Pentecost

had fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenly

there came a sound from Heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled

the whole house where they were sitting. Then there appeared to them

divided tongues, as of fire, and One sat upon each of them. And they were

all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the

Spirit gave them utterance. (Acts 2:1-4).

This was the birth of the Church, for the Disciples were able to proclaim

His Word by their enlightenment. Jesus spoke through His Disciples, it wasnot only a narrative of His story. Without the Holy Spirit Jesus would

probably have remained a marginal figure in a story interesting enough to

tell about Him, but His work as the Son of God, as God's physical form,

would never have been promulgated. This was the Bible's Book of Books, a

sacred book, a book for the people of God, written by those whom He

enlightened as the Holy Spirit.

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The Holy Spirit comes at baptism and in Confirmation about us. One tells

about the baptism of Christ: And it came to pass in those days that Jesus

came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan.

And straightway coming up out of the water, He saw the Heavens opened

and the Spirit like a dove descending upon Him. And a voice came down

from Heaven, saying: Thou art my beloved Son, in Thee I am well

pleased. (Mark 1:9-11).

There are opportunities in the Catholic Church, which remind us of our

Baptism: the Holy Water is constantly present at the church entrance, with

which we cross ourself. It is not just any water. It is consecrated with

prayers and thereby obtains the power of God. During the Easter Vigil the

renewal of the Baptismal liturgy in the Church happens. On Sunday after

Epiphany (6th January) is celebrated the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord,

which commemorates the Baptism of Jesus by John the Baptist in the

Jordan. The blessing so granted with Holy Water is also much more

effective than an ordinary blessing.

The biggest impression I had of the Holy Spirit on the occasion of my

Confirmation, as I outlined in the introduction to this book, is that it was

the moment when I began my Love affair with God. Since then I know who

or what is the Holy Spirit, and His gifts, fruits and consolations were given

to me more and more. I am always fully conscious of the fact that these aregifts of God which Life cannot give. However, in my experience, God

requires that we first do the preliminary work and prove ourselves mature

and worthy. The second requirement is that we must remain in a constant

state of development, so that these gifts can properly unfold.

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The seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit (Charisma)

Religious Concept

In the New Testament and former Christianity 'Charisma' means the gift

donated by the Holy Spirit to Christians. This includes: reason, science,

wisdom, counsel, piety, Godliness, fortitude, awareness, faith, prophecy,

healing, miracles, distinguishing of spirits, tongues (glossolalia) and

interpretation of tongues. With particular emphasis on some of these

charismas in the modern age emerged spiritual awakening movements such

as the Charismatic Movement or the Pentecostal Movement. Corinthians

I,12:8-11: In all the gifts of the Spirit for the common good shew one is

given through the Spirit the word of wisdom, to another the word of

knowledge by the same Spirit, to another faith to make gifts of healing by

the same Spirit; to another in the same Spirit to perform miracles, to

another prophecy, to another discerning of Spirits, to another divers kinds

of tongues; one another the interpretation of this language; but everything

works from the one same Spirit, dividing to every man, to whom He wills.

The conditions for these Graces are:

1) Water Baptism in the name of Jesus Christ

2) the Spiritual Baptism of the Holy Spirit3) the absolute belief in Father, Son and Holy Spirit

4) an adapted way of life in humility and charity

5) permanent Spiritual development

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The gifts of the Holy Spirit had differently affected the Apostles: Thomas

was given the gift of reason, John the gift of wisdom, Philip the gift of

counsel, James the gift of piety, Andrew the gift of the fear of God, Peter

the gift of strength, Matthew the grace of discernment.

I would like to explain the various Charismas for a general understanding

of them in more detail and also divided into several groups:

Reason, Science, Wisdom, Counsel, Awareness

These relate to the knowledge of the ineffable charisma (gnosis). Ignorance

creates suffering, whereas through knowledge and awareness comes Love,

and Man is redeemed. It is not from our mind in the brain. It is not from the

knowledge we learn. It's about the intuitive knowledge that is hidden deep

in our subconscious. It evolves with wisdom and awareness. This enables

us to then give advice to other people. This advice again comes not from

our mind, not from our thoughts with which we wish to inflate

our egos for to talk so wisely. No, the advice comes from God, and

we are merely expressing it.

The charisma of science means that we can rapidly merge the details of

science into a whole. Suddenly we know again purely intuitively how

things are doing. The downside is: everything normal bores us, because wealready know everything or can expose a falsehood immediately. The

advantages are: We are made aware of how we are carrying the

responsibility for everything in our world, for example in environmental

protection. The whole spectrum of ecology stretches out before us,

although we have not learnt it from books, but experiencing it from the

inside out. We understand the Universe. We understand Stephen Hawking

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when he talks about the Big Bang Theory with this insight: There must

still have been something before, so there is a God! Albert Einstein was

afraid of becoming unhinged if it was true that God plays dice that

nothing can be calculated in the classical linear mode. We understand the

new quantum theory of the scientists, when they realize that the former

great void even includes energy, knowing: There is no emptiness, God is

in everything. Maybe we cannot express ourselves because we lack the

vocabulary. But we understand intuitively: The Laws of Nature and the

Spiritual Laws reflect the same truth: God.

Piety, Godliness, Faith, Strength

It's about faith from the heart, the Love of God and the deep humility

before Him. This Love makes us strong on the one hand, however, it gives

us the necessary wish, always to satisfy Him. The Soul that has once

abandoned God and has since recognized that as being an error will never

make that mistake again, once knowing it could have turned out so

differently!

Teresa of vila, The Interior Castle, 6th Flat: Through the glories that He

tells the Soul, she realizes much more clearly the greatness of God. It

frightened her, how she could be so presumptuous, she mourns her low

reverence, and her own folly as being so crazy, that she never maycomplain about it enough, considering that she has left such a noble

majesty due to such low reasons .

The strength also means humility. My prayers can turn the world upside

down but only if God wants it! I am nothing, I'm small as a grain of sand!

I am nothing, and everything comes from God.

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Healing, Miracles, Prophecy

We obey an impulse of God. God has chosen us as His channel, and we

perform these acts on His impulse: The healing of the sick by laying on our

hands and praying; miracles prove themselves in the form of spontaneous

healing as well as in the mastery of the elements; the prophecy means the

proclamation of God's Word (Greek: One who speaks for others). This

also includes the predictions of coming important events.

Discernment, Tongues and their Interpretation

In my experience, the charisma of tongues (glossolalia) shows the ability to

dream in a foreign language or to think or understand them and speak

words and phrases, without being aware of it. The interpretation of tongues,

is something I've felt after my Confirmation: My Soul remembered, as was

described by the Pope in the preface to the Latin Mass. Deep within us is

buried the text in all languages, and when we hear these words, the Soul

recalls. So my Soul suddenly spoke Latin, at least enough for the Holy

Mass in Latin to understand its meaning and to meld with it and thereby

causing me to burst into tears in the first three Masses.

The discernment of Spirit we need to recognize the false prophets, and

these, as we all know very well, are numerous. Once we have received thecharisma of the Holy Spirit, we know when something is right or wrong!

We are never victims of a sect. We see through them immediately. We are

even indirectly led to help to free their victims. I have already been

led to do that, although I cannot of course make that

known.

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Pope John Paul II, who exuded all the charisma of the Holy Spirit already

in his appearance, has recognized these healing Charismas even in non-

consecrated persons, and ordered the release of this knowledge on 25

September 2000. At that time our present Pope Benedict XVI was chairman

of the Congregation. Thus, two Popes are on the side of us Healers and

Mystics isn't that wonderful?

Excerpted from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith

Instruction on Prayers for Healing by God:

As mentioned above, the end of Mark's Gospel as well as the Galatians are

extending the horizon and do not limit the miraculous healing on the

activities of the Apostles and some Preachers of the Gospel, which play a

prominent role in the first missionary. From this point of view the evidence

of the Healing Charismas (cf. 1 Cor 12,9.28.30) are particularly

important. The meaning of the word 'Charisma' itself is very wide; a

'Charisma' is a freely-given gift, the mentioned case refers to it as gifts,

to cure diseases. These spiritual gifts are assigned to an individual (cf. 1

Cor 12:9), so they are not understood as cures, which has been gained by

each of those cured by themselves, rather as a gift granted to a person inorder to obtain the Healing Grace for others. This gift is dedicated in the

One Spirit, whereby it cannot be closely defined, how this person does

achieve the healing. One can assume that this is done through prayer,

perhaps accompanied by a symbolic gesture .

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(Soure:www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_20001123_istru

zione_ge.html)

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The twelve Fruits of the Holy Spirit

Come Holy Spirit, open the hearts of Thy faithful, and you fill them with

Thy Love. In the New Testament, Matthew the Evangelist writes: By

their fruits ye shall know them. (Mt. 7.16)

The fruits are Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness,

Goodness, Forbearance, Gentleness, Faithfulness, Modesty,

Abstinence, Chastity.

This book is about Love. The charisma joy I would like to mention

particularly. Teresa of vila, too, felt a great joy in her spirituality that

springs from the inner freedom gained. The heart is free. Humility means

no weight, no burden, but a feeling of lightness and freedom. Even now I

pray the Lord's Prayer as an invocation and glorification with uplifted arms.

The power of the Holy Spirit flows through my body and my hands become

warm.

The Holy Spirit makes our egos die automatically. Not until then can Man

fully develop the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Spontaneously an impatient

person can then become a patient person. Forbearance, gentleness

something that is completely unknown by egocentric people. Abstinence

and chastity are themselves dismissed as unrealistic by the people who are

just about to perish from their mistakes in this direction. The spiritual man

changes his sexual energy into spiritual energy and he realizes that what

he used to call Love, rarely served the Divine Love, but rather the

satisfaction of the lack of self-Love.

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How do I distinguish this Divine Love of the secular? It's simple: The

Divine Love never dies. It does not turn suddenly into hatred. You have no

fear within this Love. You just Love. Even if a close person is not with you

and maybe never will be you Love that person, your two Souls are loving

each other at a distance voil! After the initial turmoil, the pain resolves,

and satisfaction and joy is remaining.

The seven Consolations of the Holy Spirit

Within the twelve fruits of the Holy Spirit His consolations are included.

Crying is of a very great comfort. But there are many people who cannot. I

can, and I'm glad of it! I sometimes wished I would be able to hold back the

tears, especially during a Mass in the Cathedral, when I hang completely

dissolved in tears in the front row and everyone could see me. I had to go

through this development phase bravely. Although I'm sure it was not

always my own tears, which flowed. I often cried the tears of others.

During the New Year Reception of the Bishop of Limburg in 2010, I

apologized to him for my many tears during his beautiful Masses. He

thanked me for my support. With pleasure!

*Under a condition that we do not abandon our prayers,

then the Lord will convert whatever we do into our advantage,

even when we find anyone who is able to teach us.

(Teresa of vila)

*

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Veil of Mysticism - Paths to Enlightened Faith

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