Universals of verbal and Universals of verbal and non-verbal messages. non-verbal messages. “ “ To effectively communicate, we To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive different in the way we perceive the world and use this the world and use this understanding as a guide to our understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” communication with others.” - - Anthony Robbins, Motivational Anthony Robbins, Motivational Speaker Speaker
Transcript
Universals of verbal and Universals of verbal and non-verbal messages.non-verbal messages.
““To effectively communicate, we To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive different in the way we perceive the world and use this the world and use this understanding as a guide to our understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”communication with others.”
- - Anthony Robbins, Motivational SpeakerAnthony Robbins, Motivational Speaker
Chapter 6Chapter 6
Universals of verbal and non-verbal Universals of verbal and non-verbal messages.messages.
Assertive CommunicationAssertive Communication
Assertiveness: “Win Win”Assertiveness: “Win Win”
Steps for increasing assertiveness:Steps for increasing assertiveness:
Stand up for yourself Stand up for yourself Express feelings directly Express feelings directly Improve relationships Improve relationships Give Compliments Give Compliments Give Criticism Give Criticism Make requests Make requests Say No / Set Limits Say No / Set Limits
Universals of Verbal and Universals of Verbal and Non-Verbal MessageNon-Verbal Message
Non-Verbal Messages are used to:Non-Verbal Messages are used to:
1.1. AccentAccent
2.2. ComplementComplement
3.3. ContradictContradict
4.4. ControlControl
5.5. RepeatRepeat
6.6. Substitute ForSubstitute For
Messages and MeaningsMessages and Meanings
Meanings are:Meanings are:
In PeopleIn People
More Than Words and GesturesMore Than Words and Gestures
UniqueUnique
Context-BasedContext-Based
Meanings are in PeopleMeanings are in People
You do not receive meaning. You You do not receive meaning. You create meaning.create meaning.
Words do not mean. People mean.Words do not mean. People mean.
Meanings are more than Meanings are more than words and gestureswords and gestures
Understand other people’s Understand other people’s meanings by your perceptions meanings by your perceptions
1.1. who you are who you are
2.2. what you are feelingwhat you are feeling
Meanings are UniqueMeanings are Unique
No two people derive the same No two people derive the same meaningmeaning
Same person can derive different Same person can derive different meanings on different occasionsmeanings on different occasions
Meanings are UniqueMeanings are Unique
As you change, you also change the As you change, you also change the meanings you create out of past meanings you create out of past messagesmessages
Check your perceptionsCheck your perceptions of another’s of another’s meaningsmeanings
Messages are context-basedMessages are context-based
Words or behaviors have different Words or behaviors have different meanings in different contextsmeanings in different contexts
Depends on other behavior that Depends on other behavior that accompanies itaccompanies it
Cultural contextCultural context
Messages are PackagedMessages are Packaged
Parts work together to communicate Parts work together to communicate a unified meaninga unified meaning
Look at entire package before Look at entire package before interpreting another’s meaninginterpreting another’s meaning
Contradictory verbal and non-verbalContradictory verbal and non-verbal messages question credibility and messages question credibility and sinceritysincerity
Messages are Rule-Messages are Rule-GovernedGoverned
GrammarGrammar BehaviorBehavior Non-Verbal rules and normsNon-Verbal rules and norms
Messages vary in Messages vary in abstractionabstraction
General terms are abstract and General terms are abstract and specific terms are concretespecific terms are concrete
Abstract terms lead to different Abstract terms lead to different imagesimages
Effective verbal messages usually Effective verbal messages usually include specificsinclude specifics
Messages vary in politenessMessages vary in politeness
Politeness is a desirable traitPoliteness is a desirable trait Women’s speech tends to be more Women’s speech tends to be more
polite than menpolite than men
Messages vary in inclusionMessages vary in inclusion
Inclusive messages: include all Inclusive messages: include all people present and acknowledge people present and acknowledge relevance of othersrelevance of others
Exclusive messages: using language Exclusive messages: using language to exclude others outside your groupto exclude others outside your group
Messages vary in directnessMessages vary in directness
Gender differencesGender differencesWomenWomen MenMen More indirect in More indirect in giving ordersgiving orders Power is ability to Power is ability to choose own style of choose own style of communicationcommunication
Indirect when Indirect when Expressing Expressing weakness weakness Admitting problemsAdmitting problems Admitting an errorAdmitting an error Emotions (except Emotions (except anger) anger) Refusing increased Refusing increased intimacyintimacy Going against Going against masculine stereotypemasculine stereotype
Cultural DifferencesCultural Differences
Many Asian and Latin American Many Asian and Latin American countries stress indirectness to avoid countries stress indirectness to avoid appear being critical or contradicted appear being critical or contradicted as a way to “save face.”as a way to “save face.”
IndirectnessIndirectness
Consider how easy it is for Consider how easy it is for misunderstandings to occur.misunderstandings to occur.
Messages vary in Messages vary in AssertivenessAssertiveness
Nonassertiveness: You win I lose; Nonassertiveness: You win I lose; passive approach to communicationpassive approach to communication
Aggresiveness: I win you lose; caring Aggresiveness: I win you lose; caring little for others’ needslittle for others’ needs
Messages Vary in Messages Vary in AssertivenessAssertiveness
NonassertivenessNonassertiveness ““You Win, I lose”You Win, I lose”
AggressivenessAggressiveness ““I Win, You Lose”I Win, You Lose”
AssertivenessAssertiveness ““I Win, You Win”I Win, You Win”
AssertivenessAssertiveness
I win you winI win you win Act in your own best interest Act in your own best interest
without denying or infringing upon without denying or infringing upon the rights of othersthe rights of others
AssertivenessAssertiveness
Steps for increasing assertiveness:Steps for increasing assertiveness:
