VIP2 Leadership Leadership Responsibilities
Holding People Accountable • Starts with setting clear expectations • Intervening early when performance or behavior is
below expectations • Having “difficult conversations” • Ensure consequences are clear • Develop action plans as needed
• Recognizing people when behavior is above expectations
HAVING DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONSThe Uncomfortable, but Necessary Component of a VIP2 Work Environment
Types of “Difficult Conversations”
As a leader • Suspensions /
Termination / Layoffs • Performance issues • Personal issues
• Hygiene • Attire • Medical issues • Faith-based issues • Workplace
relationships • Behavior changes
As a peer • Personality conflicts • Conflicting agendas • Lack of teamwork • Gossip
As a direct report • Personality conflicts • Disagreement on performance • Lack of support • Personal issues • Harassment
• People often: • Procrastinate or avoid them completely
• Aren’t prepared if they do have them
• THE MOST IMPORTANT REALITY • Organizations/people suffer if these conversations don’t happen
The Realities Related to Difficult Conversations
“Get Awkward” Early!
Before The Conversation
CFO asks CEO: “What happens if we invest in
developing our people and they leave us?”
CEO: “What happens if we don’t, and they stay?”
By failing to prepare, you are preparing to
fail.”
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
• Don’t Delay: Schedule the Meeting • Get it on the calendar!
• Be sensitive about time of day, week, etc.
• Explain why you want to meet • Don’t ambush them with a “surprise attack” meeting
• For example: “I want to discuss…”
• Your outburst in the sales meeting • The fact that we’ve been unable to reach a compromise on how to handle
monthly reporting • The conflict my work schedule is causing at home
Preparation Before the Conversation
• What is your purpose for having the conversation (what do you hope to accomplish)?
• A key thought process to run through before the meeting • What is the specific behavior(s) causing the problem? • What is the impact that the behavior is having on you, the team,
customers, or the organization? • Are you wrongly assuming intent?
• Have you contributed to the problem in any way?
Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Meet
• Are any “buttons” of yours are being pushed? • Are you more emotional than the situation warrants? • Any personal history being triggered?
• Are you going into the conversation with a positive attitude? • If you think it will be a disaster, it probably will be • If you want good to come of it, that will usually happen
• How might the person respond to the conversation? • Is he/she even aware of the problem? • If so, what might he/she try to “negotiate”?
Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Meet (cont.)
During the Conversation
• I have something I’d like to discuss with you that I think will help us work together more effectively.
• I’d like to talk about ____________ with you, but first I’d like to get your point of view.
• I need your help with what just happened. Do you have a few minutes to talk?
• I think we have different perceptions about _________________. I’d like to hear your thinking on this.
• I’d like to talk about ___________________. I think we may have different ideas about how to _____________________.
• I’d like to see if we might reach a better understanding about ___________. I really want to hear your feelings about this and share my perspective as well.
Potential Ways to Open the Conversation
• Understand the other perspective • Approach the conversation with a sense of inquiry rather
than “pre-judgment”
• Be open to hearing what the other person says beforereaching any closure
• Seek the truth!
• If you are discussing a mistake…try to understand any positive thinking that preceded the mistake
Tips for Handling Difficult Conversations
Tips for Handling Difficult Conversations• Manage emotions / emotional responses
• Silence • Don’t rush to fill silence with words • Silence can be the time where the message
is sinking in • Silence can calm the situation
• Tears • Acknowledge tears / don’t ignore them • Offer tissue, take a break
• Anger • Calm an angry employee • Use active listening • Watch your tone, volume, body language
Tips for Handling Difficult Conversations• Disarm any “ploys”
• The other person may try to “hijack” the conversation
• Common examples: Stonewalling, sarcasm, accusing others, etc.
• Disarm the ploy by calmly labeling the observed behavior
• “This is just BS!”
Ending The Conversation / Follow Up
• Don’t end without clearly expressed action items • What are you agreeing to do? • What is the other person agreeing to do? • When? • Double (triple) check that there is no confusion on this
• Schedule a follow up meeting
Tips for Handling Difficult Conversations
• Finish the job /Document the conversation • Day / time / place • Participants • The issue(s) • Expected actions • Time frame / action plan
Tips for Handling Difficult Conversations
An Example of A Difficult Conversation
“I Statements”Holding People Accountable
• I hold people accountable to my organization’s expectations for values / results • I strive to recognize and reinforce positive behavior immediately after it happens • I act with a sense of urgency to let people know when their performance or behavior is
below expectations • I meet privately with people to discuss performance concerns or other sensitive issues • I apply discipline consistently • I meet regularly with my people to discuss and document their performance • I encourage my team members to accept responsibility for changing their behavior • I work with people to create action plans for resolving issues • I clearly state the consequences of failing to meet expectations
QUESTIONS