Vol 33 - No. 19 weanesaay, November 26, 1969

Astronauts will visit Sir George

Neil Arm strong M ike Collins

G.P.A. requirement

Approval for new rule soughtMaintaining its reputation

as an innovator in the field of higher education, Sir Geor­ge Williams University is ex­pected to introduce a condi­tion which will require a mi­nimum Grade Point Average of 3.0 (a ‘B’ average) for graduation.

Principal John O’Brien is expected to introduce a mo­tion calling for the introduc­tion of the condition at this Friday’s meeting of Univer­sity Council.

O’Brien has intimated that the new G.P.A. requirement will be made retroactive, that is, it will apply to all un­dergraduates currently re­gistered.

“ A lot of people have com­plained that Sir George is an easy place to get into,” O’Brien signed, “ well, that may be true. What will also be true for the future is that Sir George will not be an easy place from which to gra­duate.”

One of the most frequently mentioned reasons for the mediocre quality of Sir Geor­ge’s graduates is the lack of a clearly defined admis­sions policy. Almost anyone can register for undergra­duate courses at Sir George - witness the large number of evening students without high school educations.

O’Brien hopes that the new requirement will discourage unqualified students from ap­plying.

“ I hope this new require­ment will discourage unqua­lified students- from apply­ing,” Dr. O ’Brien said.

Bordan Agrees

Acting Vice-Principal (A- cademic) Jack Bordan thought that the new requirement would enhance the status of Sir George among other uni­versities in Canada.

“ /t ’ s an innovation all right,” Bordan laughed, “ be­cause it will take one hell of a lot of work to get out of here. You know, many uni­versities felt that our stand­ards were generally poor. For instance, Sir George is the only university in Canada that accepts credits from Mount Royal Junior College. Ha! But I do feel that this new proposal augers well for the days ahead.”

Bordan also saw some ray of hope in the area of an admissions policy.

“ I see some ray of hope in the area of an admissions policy,” Bordan said. “ What we must immediately do is stop admitting people who have less than 500 in the matriculation exams. That’s a start. After that, we should be more careful about people who fail more than four sub­jects in the matrics.”

Other items expected to ap­pear on the Agenda of Fri­day’s University Council meeting are: 1) the report of the Cross College Com­mittee to Study University In­frastructures; 2) the report of the Ad Hoc Committee to Lighten Dean Despland’s Committee Responsibilities (the CLDDCR); 3) the form­ation of a representative committee to investigate the use of the mezzanine by day students after 5:00 p.m.; and finally, the formation a com­mittee to study means to les­sen the number of commit­tees within the University.

C a rn iv a l float in P arad e

W atch for the w inter C a rn iv a l float in the G rey C u p p arad e this Friday e ve n in g. The float w ill carry a la rg e som brero & one live m ule keeping w ith the M exican them e of C a rn iv a l. Lots of girls & lots of fun. Don't m iss it!

Armstrong, Aldrin, Collins to appear for Blood Drive

Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong, Mike Collins and Buzz Aldrin will make a surprise visit to Sir George next week during the annual Blood Drive festivities.

The astronauts, who will be in Montreal as part of a world wide tour on December 3, insisted on visiting Sir George once it became known that an invitation had been extended.

Blood Drive luminary Eliot Shatsbaum was the driving force behind the move to ob­tain the astronauts for a brief appearance.

Shatsbaum pestered the National Research Council in Ottawa to such an extent that the Director of the NRC sponsored tour, Dr. Sir Gyl- liam Chauncey, almost de­cided not to accept the charges for Shatsbaum’s fre­quent long distance calls.

Shatsbaum came up with his most convincing argu­ment when he told Dr. Chauncey about Sir George’s recently acquired reputation for student involvement.

“ That closed it as far as I was concerned” , Chauncey told the georgian. “ From what your man Shatsbaum tells me, this St. Georges William place will be an ideal stop, especially for a nice, clean, unfestered event like a Blood Drive.”

Dr. Chauncey also expres­sed an interest in having the astronauts visit some of the nationally renown scientific laboratories at Sir George. He placed a special empha­sis on the astronomy lab, which is curiously located in the sub-basement of the Hall Building.

Details of the visit to Sir George will be released as near as possible to the date of arrival, but from what Shatsbaum was able to tell the georgian, he had worked out a preliminary itinerary that would, of course, be sub­ject to the approval of the astronauts and. the National Research Council.

According to Shatsbaum’s plans, Armstrong, Collins, and Aldrin will arrive in the Garage of the Hall Building. A quick tour of the Universi­ty’s new Intercorrespondence and Communications Center (i.e. the Mailroom) will en­sue, followed by a brief de­

monstration of the flexibili­ty of one of the new hand­carts that have recently been purchases.

From that point, Shats­baum has scheduled a planned three minute ‘hold’ while the astros avail themselves of the washrooms on the first floor of the building. Upon leaving the washrooms, Arm­strong and Aldrin will enter the Physical Plant offices to pay hommage to the Barnes Security Chief, Field Mar­shall Rodney Legume (the ‘Concrete Fox’ ). During this visit, Astronaut Collins will circle the main door of the Physical Plant offices. He will link up with the moon- men and proceed to the cle­verly stationed elevators di­rectly opposite the Physical Plant area.

Accompanied by Shats­baum, the astronauts will then proceed to the Mezza­nine where Blood Drive will be taking place. After a brief tour of the beds and after consuming one drink a,nd hot dog each, the astronauts will take a quick stroll through the Percy Weismann Art Gal­lery, and then leave through a rear door and head for the Service Elevator, where they will be taken to the astrono­my lab in the sub-basement.

The visit to the astronomy lab will conclude the visit to the Hall Building. Shats­baum expects that the tour will last no more than twenty five minutes in total.

There is also a possibility that Montreal Mayor and widely famous hippy hunter Jean Drapeau will accompa­ny Shatsbaum and the as­tronauts around Sir George •

Other stops on the Mont­real tour are expected to be the Dow Planetarium, Place des Nations where a grand reception is being planned, and thé Chemistry lab in the St. Jean d ’Iberville High School.

Lunch and supper have been scheduled for the ele­gant Queen’s Lunch, which is expected to add a royal flav­or to the affair.

NEW YORK"More intense and sincere than

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Lost-A Rothman’s cigarette butt touched by the magnificent Lola, lost in the civinity of St. Denis & St. Catherine. If found notify Tiny at 4863218.

Wanted-A sex organ(male) Name your price. Pho ne Cass Trated-RE-0000.

Groovy young chick age: 19-26. Wanted to share on 8-room penthouse on Sherbrooke with a young man age 74 with little wart on nose (not noti­ceable at first). Phone Ward 482-9001.

Wanted-Mashochist, to share a chamber in the basement o f an old castle in Spain with a young black hooded milk man .Phone Bela488 -0877.

Dried figs for sale at unbelievably low price at Mohamads Market, 1238 Bagg St. First 500 cus­tomers will receive one of our special chocolate covered figs at no extra cost. Halvah & Pasta Fa- solla also for sale.

Lost-one black cross-eyed catfish (Pussy). Lost in the vicinity of the 4th floor toilets at S. G.W.U. If anyone sees or smells Pussy please notify Vern at 487-4586. If it’s dead please bring in a rolled Georgina.

Accidentally escaped from leash a 4-year old Rhinosoraus in the vicinity of Byron. Can be i- dentified by small mole on left shoulder. If you see Claude please notify Freda at 482-9001.

For sale: one slightly used jock strap, only used in practices before cut from team. Phone War­ren 8612341.

200 lb. hunchbacked pigmy seeking a 160 lb. female com 1 anion to do an unnatural act. Phone Pooh 861-2341.

Wanted-We all here at C.F.O.X would like to find a brilliant Gord Sinclair editorial. If you can find a half decent one please notify us. Ron Legg and the Guys 4841677.

CENTRALITY LOCATED 3 's HEATED APT. WITH LARGE SUN POARCH. Suitable as work­shop 5 min. from Sir George $125 Call Mr. Sar- geson aft. 6 p.m.

COMPOSITION LITERATURE TUTORING ALL YEARS, EXPERIENCED Sir George Graduate Teacher B.A.M.A. 10 yrs. experience. Reasonable 332-9248.

TYPEWRITER SALE. Reconditioned electrics, standards, $25. and up. All makes and models fully guaranteed. Mr. RYPEWRITER, 328 Victoria Ave. (bétween Sherbrooke and Maison- neuve), Westmount P.Q. 487-5062.

For sale: One slightly used kiss me in the dark messosah. Comes in different pastel colours. Pho­ne Verne at 482-9001.

Lost; One quarter ounce of very fine blondish- red Lebanese hash sentimental value. Reward of­fered. Return to “ Mag” , H-405.

1968 DARK GREEN VW DELUX. 21,000 MILES. Blau Punkt Radio, snow tires and rims. $1700. Call Miss Hampton at 735-1239.

FREE ROOM & BOARD IN EXCHANGE FOR LIGHT RENTAL SERVICES. Near SGWU, te-, lephone, T.V. Call Ken 935-0389, aft. 8 or wee­kends call 937-8800

LOOKING FOR GOOD 12-STRING ACOUSTIC GUITAR. Money available for immediate transac­tion. Call Andy at 331-3140 aft. 6 anytime wee­kends.

WARM, SMARTLY CUT LADIES4 COATS. Brown, beaver trimmed camel hair. Nearly new. Quick sale. Very reasonable 849-6420.

HI-FI SYSTEMS & ELECTRONIC GOODIES FOR PENNILESS STUDENTS. An old Geor­gian stands ready to serve you. Jack at Etco Electronics, 464 McGill St. 288-6217.

FOR SALE, SKI BOOTS. SIZE 11, NEVADA HARNESS, SKIIS, ORIGINAL VALUE $120. Sell for $50. Camp Trunk $5. Call 482-5657 mornings or aft. 7 pm.

QUALIFIED SKIERS WANTED. Ple.-usepho- ne Brian 747-4164 or Brahm 747-4269.

CARS AVAILABLE IMMEDIATELY for Toron­to, Maritimes Provinces, Western Canada and Florida. - Driver must be 21 or over and have driver’s permit Call Paul Smith anytime at: Mon­treal Drive Away Service Ltd. 4018 St. Cathe­rine St. West 937-2816.

CARS FOR DELIVERY TO WESTERN CA­NADA, U.S.A, MARITIMES, TORONTO, 24 HR. SERVICE. Western Drive Away Gas allo­wance. 93 -6151. 1225 Marc, no. 1204.

35 MM CamerasAvailable assortment of single lens reflex came­ras and 35 mm slide projectors like new. Spe­cial student deals. Freeport - Sheraton Mount Royal Hotel 288-1922.

Tape Recorders and CassettesSpecial selection of brand name cassette and reel to reel tape recorders. To be seen only at Freeport - Sheraton Mount Royal Hotel - 288- 1922.

Stereo Record PlayersFreeport in the Sheraton Mount Royal Hotel is featuring a number of brand name Stereos at reduced prices. Showroom samples, etc. on dis­play daily. 9:00 A.M. - 6:00 P.M. Thurs. and Fri. Till 9:00 P.M. 288-1922.

Typewriters - BargainsStudents only will have the privilege of buying a brand new fully guaranteed typewriter at Free­port for only $49.95 Freeport 288-1922.

REWARD OFFERED. LOST WATCH; BLACK FACE, RED AND BLACK BAND. Lost in 5th floor men’s washroom (Hall bldg.) Saturday, Nov. 15th 8 p.m. Great sentimental value. Contact 688-1288 anytime, or Georgian office.

Department of Fine Arts, SirGeorge Williams University, Threatre Arts Section, presents the Seventh Collection of two one act plays: “ Swung” by R i­chard Lenz, and “ Aria da Capo” by Edna St. Vincent Millay from November 26 through until N o­vember 29.

Wed. Nov. 26 (today) 8:30 p.m. “ Swung” and “ Aria da Capo” .

Thurs. Nov. 27 8:30 p.m. “ Swung” and “ Aria da Capo” .

Fri. Nov. 28 12:30 p.m.“ Swung” and “ Aria da Capo”

Sat. Nov. 29 8:30 p.m.“ Swung” and “ Aria da Capo”

Place: Sir George WilliamsUniversity Theatre.

Admission is free.Progressive Conservative

Club: Guest Speaker: Mr.Jack Horner M.P; will be pre­sent at S.G.W.U. November 26, 1969 at 1:00 P.M. in Room H- 1219. Everyone Welcome.

T.V. Sir George: Folkways. A series of shows with not so well known folk singers and some insight into the music. John Foley; Wed. 8:00-8:30 PM Thurs. 5:30-6:00; Fri. 8:00-8:30; Tex Konig Tues. 5:30-6:00.

Sir George Jazz Club. Needs electric pianist and organist with equipm ent for rock group. Call Dave Stein 737-7320.

Arm enian Club presents two m o­vies: “ T he Life o f Arom Khatcha- turian” , “ Armenia T oday” , presen­tation o f two books to the S.G .W .U . Library, and slides.

D ate: Friday, Novem ber 28, 1969.Place: H-820.T im e: 8:00 P .M .

A ction Pollution Seminar will fea­ture as guest speaker: M r. Christian De Laet, Secretary-General-Canad- ian C ouncil o f Resource Ministers. T op ic : Role o f Canadian C ou n cil1 o f Resource M inisters in fighting the M O N S T E R -P O L L U T IO N .

D ate: Thursday, Novem ber 27.T im e: 8:30 P .M .P lace: H-420.E verybody w elcom e-Free.

Sir George W illiam s University.D epartm ent o f Religion is spon-

sering a public lecture given by Professor Chaim Rabin, Chairman o f Hebrew U niversity’ s Institute of Jewish Studies on D ecem ber 4, 1969, 12:00 noon, Hall-520. T opic-Socia l Factors in the H istory o f the Hebrew Language. A ll facu lty and students are w elcom e to attend this lecture.

C.U.S.O. NEEDS BOOKS

One of the largest problems of education in Developing Nations is the lack of good text book and library facilities in Elementary, Secondary Schools and Teacher Training Colleges. You can help to alleviate this problem by depositing any books which you may have in the C.U.S.O. Book Bon located on the mezzanine between Nov. 24 and Nov. 28.

Action at Board of Governors meetingThe first open meeting

of the Board of Governors of SGWU produced few sur­prises.

Few Governors showed up, and those who did, sat‘ for the most part, motionless, their frequent hacks and coughs alone bearing witness that they were not ambulatory creations of Madame Tus- seaud.

The Minutes were accept­ed without debate and Mr. Hy­man Klutznick of Montreal was officially thanked for the stamp which accompanied the self addressed envelope which he forwarded in the course of a minor transaction with the Alumni Association. Vigorous debate erupted at

this point. The focus of the altercation was whether the date was June 12, 1968 or December 14, 1957. Prin­cipal and Vice Chancellor John W. O’Brien settled the issue immediately by pulling a calender out of thin air and informing the timultious throng that the date was, in fact, November 9, 1969. This, ended discussion and Dr. O ’Brien was asked to put the information in the form of a motion so that it might be voted upon and receive of­ficial sanction. He did and it did, thus affirming that Sir George Williams Univer­sity will continue to calculate time in accordance with the Gregorian Calender.

The motion of a Governor, who, perhaps, should remain nameless, to the effect that Vice-Principal Administration and Finance John Smola be bartered to Domtar Inc. along with an option on his assistant A. J. Laprade and an adminis­trator to be named later in exchange for twelve gallons of tar and an undisclosed amount of cash was discreet­ly defeated with Dr. Smola speaking against the motion. Board Chairman Alex Duff also suggested that the Gov­ernor in question not indulge in excessive pre-meeting refreshment in the future. This, although not in the form of a motion, was voted upon and passed with one

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abstension.The meeting ended on a

cordial note after the Governors struck a commit­tee, chaired by Professor Hugh McQueen, faculty re­presentative on the Board, with a mandate to “ explore

the feasibility of establishing a clinic to handle the out­break of terminal acne among Exploration 1 students. “ Pro­fessors McQueen assured the Board that his earlier in­volvement with and victory over acne, augered well for the success of the Committee.

|S.G. in Grey Cup festSir George Williams Uni­

versity will participate in this week’s Grey Cup festival. Victor Lazarovici, President of the Engineering Undergra­duate Association, revealed in a press conference held in the Executive Offices of the ESA, that Sir George’s renowned Engineer’s band has been contracted to high­light the halftime pageant at Sunday’s CFL final at the Autostade.

Lazarovici, himself a fine second fiddler in the band, before throwing his slide rule into the political ring, ex­plained that, “ The boys in the band had been hoping for this offer since the school year started, and everyone in the EUA is very pleased.” The President also stated that the musicians will be working overtime all week to prepare for the concert. He also said that any aspiring

musician interested in joining the band would be welcome as there are only two re­sident musicians at present. “ If there are no new mem­bers in the near future we may have to ask for the sup­port of the McGill Plumber’s Philharmonic Orchestra, and this might be somewhat em- barising” Lazarovici added.

Sir George’s other commit­ments in the festival were recently finalized. Ed Aust, Arts President, will address the Grey Cup Banquet on, “ The Role of the Football Player in the Political Pro­cess” , also on the schedule for the Banquet is an adress by the Commissioner of the CFL, Jake Gaudaur, will be speaking on, “ The Role of Professional Sports in the University” . FreshmanQueen Gerri Pantel, will crown Miss Grey Cup on Fri­day evening.

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— the georgian— >>E d i t o r .............................. Steve HalperinM a n a g in g Editor . . . . David Saskin

N ew s E d it o r ...................Anne McLeanSports E d it o r ....................Chrys GoyensDesk E d it o r ..................... Marlene Gerson

Associate Editor . . . . Ken WaxmanPhoto E d it o r s ................. Howard Kay

Ian DoullBusiness M an age r . . . Stuart Bernstein A dvertising M an age r . Jane Ziner Circulation M an age r . Charles Kerr

Editorial Dep't 879-4585 A dvertising Dep't. 879-4462

The georgian is an editorially autonomous publication of the Student's Association of Sir George Williams University. Offices

^ are located in Rms H-647, H-649 of the Henry F. Hall building. ^

CrisisThe crisis which the georgian brought

to light in a previous editorial has been allowed to fester during the past month, and as a result, no adequate solution to the crisis has been presented.

Our student representatives have been strangely silent, and one wonders if there is a possibility that they in fact are complicit in the preposterous situation about which we speak. It is a sad time indeed when those who we elect to serve and represent our interests do not have the courage and fortitude to speak their mind on this issue.

While it is true that the students to whom we look for leadership have not been carrying out their responsibilities in this regard, it is also a truism that other sectors of the proverbial University community are not exactly blameless:

One need only look at the Sir George Williams Association of University Teach­ers. What has their position been, and where do they stand with regard to the future?

Instead of addressing themselves to the issue, they have engaged in redundant debate which does no credit to them as an orga­nization, nor does it favorably reflect upon those members who form the 'bulk of the membership in SGWAUT.

One can understand the failure of bodies such as the Students’ Association or SGWAUT, because these bodies do not al­ways have àt their disposal the best talent that is available, but the same cannot be said for the Administration.

Ultimately, it is them who will have to resolve this scurrilous situation. It is time a few pointed questions were asked: John O’Brien, what have you done? Prof. Bordan, where do you stand? Dr. Smola, what is your opinion? Dean Flynn,' what reports have you received from the various communities you are in contact with?

Unless answers can be had to these and other pressing questions, the reputation this University holds as a liberal, free-thinking, decisive institution will surely fall by the wayside. The time for action is now, and no action can be too swift so that this problem can be solved.

Need anymore be said?

The wheels of bourgeois Western justice have ground another thinking, breathing, human being into the dust. On March 17, 1969, John Q. Tso- ris, imbued with the spirit of free enterprise, entered the Ste. Catherine St. Branch of the Bank of Montreal seeking a short term loan which would have enabl­ed him to open a string of whore houses upon which, he might have built a secure and productive future. T o­day, he is in jail, a political prisoner serving a life sen­tence at St. Vincent de Paul Penetentiary. Such is the na­ture of the “ just society” .

The Bank refused his re­quest. Tsoris, choked with bitter disappointment, his hopes and ambitions dashed, pulled a revolver from his pocket and shot the bloated, middle class manager be­tween the eyes. Following this up, he mowed down three tellers, two bystanders, and a passing hobo. These actions were considered re­levant by the Court. What it never even entertained for a moment is that none of the so-called victims ever made even the remotest attempt to communicate with poor Tso­ris. They merely clutched their sides and fell to the floor. Clearly all are pro­ducts of our egocentric social milieu.

Do they care?

No!

Do you care?

No!

Who cares?

It’s irrelevant...

The point that must be em­phasized, above all else, is that failure to communicate is the direct cause of Tsoris’ incarceration. Never did those witnessing his grief and dismay try to reach out to him. Never, never, never! All they could think of was their wounds. They gave more consideration to wounds of the flesh than to wounds of the spirit and the ‘esteem­ed’ Court backed them up. What else could we expect from this screwed up inside out society? Surely not com­passion or human kindness. That’s far too much to ex­pect. When Tsoris ran from

the bureaucrat’s office wav­ing the only symbol available that might yet affirm his hu­manity and negate the castration that he had just experienced, people ran away from him instead of to him. This, in essence, is why he is in prison. The only ones interested in him were the cops, agents of the political oligarchy.

The case of John Tsoris weighs on all of us. He tried to remove the shackles plac­ed on him by a liberal, bleeding heart society and he is paying the price of dis­sent. It could happen to you, it could happen to me. But why? Why must we, the people, tolerate oppression? If the hypocrites who mqke and enforce laws are permit­ted to put men like John Tso­ris in jail when his only “ crime” is humanity, whatwill they do next? Oh..........what’s the use? They will do what they have always done, treat people like inanimate objects that cannot be talk­ed to and reasoned with. And while they do it they will use the flimsy pretext that so­ciety at large is safer be­cause its John Tsoris’ are locked behind bars, partial human beings, unable to live life to its fullest.

Do you care? No. Do they care? No. Who cares? Its an irrelevant question anyway.

inM inn ii | ijm i II niMinu H. m M l Iy I '..•HUM I >11 iw n .y i m m u f ■ 11....... . mm .+ tmn p

Letters^ i i iiim n ir ■M in'r n~~~nTT~~-— — — ■ . .........■ ■■-...w ..—... ...

Dearest Sir,As the “ Gay Guy” on the

squamish squad, I am deeply insulted at the insinuations upon my character described by Ward and Vern. If this continues to occur, I shall be forced to press charges of de­famation of character.

I extremely resented being called a “ super-sissy and I have never attended a sit-in abortion in my life. Also, Romeo Letch and I are just good friends-nothing more. These accusations make me spit, and I have a good mind to scratch your eyes out.

I repeat, if such procedures continue, I shall be forced to contact my lawyer, Winslow B. Flydipper (Queen’s Coun­sel) who shall slap your fa­ce.

In closing, I. must add that the next one of you jokers who vandalizes my beauty salon shall be sexually at­tacked.

Love,Lance Loveguard,

Fine Arts 11

Sir,Recently, my son- . A Sir

George Student- tried to puli a tasteiess joke on me by switching my weekly co­py of that Bastian of Ame­rican Sanity, Time Maga­zine, for a copy of the Har­vard Lampoon’s satire on T i­me. Naturally, being a weii educated and quick witted (Sir George Graduate) citizen, I immediately noticed the dif­ference between the two publications.

These irresponsible stu­dents at Harvard gave slan­dered the name of everything that is good-the presidency, big business and war. I spent three years in England with the RCAF during the tough years, (1946-48) and the­re is nothing wrong with a good war to toughen up our pampered youth. The only ac­curate representation of the entire magazine were in the photos illustrating teenagers smoking LSD.

I can rest easy tonight kno­wing that if this letter is prin­ted, it will be in the issue of

a newspaper known for its credibility and honest jour­nalism.Anthony Blair-Whyte 11. Class of ’42

Dear Commie,I wish to protest the recent

gun registration bill. As a gun owner of two eyetalian guns I am a votin citizen who wants himself to be heard.

These commie sex perverts want to register our guns and leave us defenseless against the filthy scum, the workers. It is my constitu­tional right to own a gun- George Wallace told me so.

What could possibly be a nicer sight than a southern family sitting around the fire place of the plantation clea­ning out their guns? This law cannot stick. If those northern commies in Washington be­lieve it can, they are gulli­ble enough to believe that THEY won the war.

Colonel Shelton T. Beauregard Armpit, Alabama. "

INTERVIEW Don McPhie, Director of Food ServicesDon McPhie never wielded

a markers pencil, but his name, perhaps more than any other, can daily be found on the trembling lips of students and faculty members as they sip their morning coffee. In an effort to acquaint mem­bers of the University com­munity with the man about whom so much is said hut so little is known, the geor­gian interviewed Mr. M c­Phie and recorded his in­sightful comments on the state of food services at this institution.

After elbowing our wav through a crowd of pale stu­dents who were massed in front of the Office of the Director of Food Services chanting “ death to Don M c­Phie” , we were informed that our target was out to lunch. A kalaidascopic tour of area restaurants ended abruptly at the Queens Lunch, where, partially hidden at a rear table, McPhie sat, about to

consume a fried chicken din­ner. We sat down across the table from' him, switched on our tape recorder, and com­menced.

georgian: I suppose that the logical openèr is why are you eating here instead of in your own cafeteria?

McPhie: Just keeping an eye on the competition... say, I’ll bet you really thought I was going to eat this stuff.

georgian: Well we did get that impression.

McPhie: Naw. I’m just trying to sneak some of this crap out of here so our lab boys can take a peek at it.

georgian: What do you ex­pect them to find?

McPhie: Who knows? But I’ll bet it pales in comparison with the patie de foie gras we had as our daily special yesterday. In fact it probably isn’t fit for dog food.

georgian: What do think of the criticism that is re­gularly hurled at the cafe­

teria? Is it justified?McPhie: Look, if you want

to nitpick you can find fault with anything. Just by way of example, some guy comes into my office yesterday shrieking something fierce. Seems that he bit into two bobby pins and a fountain pen in the apple pie. The way he was screaming you’d think I killed him.

georgian: What did you do?

McPhie: I returned hismoney, (confidentially) That was a political move.

georgian: In what way?McPhie: Well the nine

guys that came with him threatened to break my fin­gers and the way I figure it, anything that keeps me in one piece is a political move.

georgian: Does this sort of thing happen frequently?

McPhie: Not as much as some people seem to think. Actually, I think that the grip­

ing is done by a small, or­ganized, and highly vocal mi­nority.

georgian: Have you any evidence to support this theo­ry?

McPhie: Who needs evi­dence? I’m around the se­venth floor all day, every afternoon some joker in a green turtleneck clutches his abdoman and staggers down the escalator. Thinks he’s a riot. Its wiseacres like that that cause the problems.

georgian: Come on now, isn’t it so that some rather strange objects have been found in cafeteria food. Even you admit that bobby pins and fountain pens show up in apple pie.

McPhie: I said fountain pen, not fountain pens. Lets be fair and accurate.

georgian: We apologise,but you havn’t answered the question.

McPhie: Look, accidents happen. The other day I heard

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screaming around the cash, so I go over to check and find some guy all hot and bothered. Claimed that the layer cake tasted like glue.

georgian: Did it taste like glue?

McPhie: So happens that this time he was right. Some one in the bake shop mixed flour and water instéad of flour and sugar and the stuff didn’t taste very good. The point is that this guy makes trouble all the time. Makes snide remarks about “ pto­maine gardens” and gives forth with agonizing groans at the drop of a hat.

georgian: To change the subject, why don’t we have more vending machines? They seem to be very po­pular.

McPhie: Because they are a drag to service. First they run short of cups, then its covers, then sugar etc. etc. Fah. who needs the head­aches?

georgian: We’ve heardwild rumors that cafeteria coffee just won a golden cup award. Surely there is no basis in fact for it?

McPhie: (Proudly) I am pleased to inform you that those so-called “ rumours” are one hundred per cent cor­rect. We have won a golden cup award.

georgian: Just what is in­volved in the judging?

McPhie: Not much. I just sent a sample of our freshly brewed coffee to some place in the States and they analyz­ed it.

georgian: They certainly couldn’t have tasted it.

M cPhie: Picky, picky.They don’ t have to taste it they happen to be experts.

georgian: Do you have any innovations in mind for food services that you might let Us in on?

M cPhie: Well... our elec­tric bills have been exhor- bitant recently, so we’ll be experimenting with wall pa­per that glows in the dark.

georgian: Nothing else?McPhie: Naw. But, I will,

be announcing the results of a fascinating experiment that I’ve just finished. You see, I’ve maintained for some, time now, that cafeteria food is so wholesome and nutri­tious that a person who ate nothing else would show a marked- improvement in his physical well being. So I made a deal with this guy who was about as average as you can get and fed him a steady diet of daily spe­cials.

georgian: Did it make a significant difference to his physical condition? Did he gain weight?

McPhie: I’ll let you know as soon as I receive the au­topsy report.

Talk over your future with the Bell employment reps when they visit your campus on

DEC. 8, 9 & 10GRADS-TO-BE-IN:ENGINEERING-SCIENCE • COMMERCE-ARTS- BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION

Ask at your Placement Office for informative booklets and

arrange for an interview now!

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The Campusbank closes in 5 minutes and this idiot’s got to prove himself!

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The People's Banterby Marv

In 1883, Karl Marx died. Since you can’t say anything bad about dead people, I won’t. He’s dead-good! Be­cause of that lousy swine (of whom Bill Buckley once said “ Karl Who?) we will have to kill every Rooshian and Egg- roll to make the world safe for mom, apple pie and the girl next door.

It’s guys like Marx who ma­ke me say that the only good commie is a dead and mu­tilated commie. Here is how I justify my statements.

Commies can always be re­cognized from the way they talk. A true red-blooded com­mie will always refer to peo­ple as the masses. These masses are your everyday scum, wTiores, punks, degene­rates and tennis show wear­ers. So there will be no mis­take about who these “ pinko” commie punks are, let us des­cribe ‘em and share in the fun of hating these swine. The­se commies have plots which will attempt to destroy our great nation which have inclu­ded water flouridation, sex education, scungilli and meat­balls, and David and Julie Eisenhower. These pastafazo- ola lovers will stop at nothing and so now is the time for every red-blooded bible- toting American to stand up and fight, suspect his neigh-

Rodenthour, man the ramparts, shar­pen his aim and save free­dom from these red animals.

So far, thanks to the help of Bill Buckly, George Wal­lace, and the state troopers we have kept ‘em at bay.

In a recent report published in the Poh-leece Gazette, the John Birch Society has shown that Communism leads to har­der drugs, sex, crime, can­cer, pimples and black heads.

For those of you who are still not into Communism and what it means, here is a poem that might help. “ What’s your’s is mine, and what’s mine is mine” . An­other ribtickler by that eye- talian boy Ofto or ferali or something is - “ Roses are red,^violets are blue. We’re taking your house yer loan’s overdue!”

A list of known Communists are: Dwight Eisenhower, Pope John, H.H.H. which stands for Ha! Ha! Ha! and George E- lias. If seen shoot them on sight and then give them twen­ty years in Leavenworth. In the words of Robert Kertes “ Let this be a warning for any of you workers out there (ya filthy scum), “ If you unite you have nothing to lose but yer worthless lives!” So re­member only YOU can pre- cent Communism. So get in­volved!

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LIBRARY OPENS SUNDAY

The Main Library will be open for study and circulation service on:

N ovem ber 23 and 30

December 7 and 14

from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.

Hoechst is MedicineAnd plenty of it. Hoechst has over a full cen­tury of pharmaceutical research and achieve­ment to draw upon — products and ideas that have touched and improved the quality of people's lives in every area around the world, in a hundred countries on six continents.But big as we are in medicine, we're more than just medicine. We're chemicals too,

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Sir George to get grant of $17.32Sir George Williams Uni­

versity made international headlines once again yester­day, when it was learned that the Department of Educa­tion’s annual operating grant will be $17.32.

Speaking at a press con­ference held in his Quebec City office, Education Minist­er Jean Guy Cardinal reveal­ed that “ owing to other prio­rities, Sir George Williams will be asked to tighten its belt'during the upcoming (70- 71) ‘academic year” . The M i­nister added that he was de­lighted with the progress be­ing made on the indoor, 20, 000 car parking lot at the University of Montreal. “ I am delighted with the prog­

ress being made” , he said.When asked if the unusually

low operating grant indicated a trend away from English language education in the province, Mr. Cardinal re­plied in the negative. “ Sir George is not utilizing its space to maximum effect” , he said. “ Classes there end at 10:25 P.M. and after that thousands of square feet are idle. They will just have to do better than that.”

When contacted by the georgian, Principal and Vi­ce-Chancellor John W. O’Brien expressed mild dis­appointment with the Educa­tion Department’s decision. “ There are no shortage of

difficulties involved with ope­rating a university on $17. 32” , he said. “ Neverthe­less,” he continued, “ it would seem that a few cor­ners will have to be cut along the way, since last years grant amounted to 5.2 million dollars.”

Acting Vice-Principal Aca­demic Jack Bordan was somewhat more blunt. “ The shit has really hit the fan this time” , he moaned. “ There goes all of the ex­perimental programs that we had hoped to introduce during the 70-71 academic year.”

Bordan went Qn to say that all available data had been fed to the University’s giant CDC-3600 computer in an at­

tempt to work out the prob­lem. “ The thing hasn’t said much yet” , he cautioned, “ but I’m receiving hourly re­ports of its progress.”

Speculation by usually re­liable sources around the Norris Building is, that the small grant is meant as a gentle hint to both 'Sir George and Loyola that merger plans have not been progressing as quickly as the Education De­partment would like them to. The georgian attempted to contact Loyola Principal, the very Rev. Patrick J. Malone for his comments, but he has apparently left town in an­ticipation of receiving an ope­rating grant of $1.56.

Dr. John O ’Brien “ ... no shortage o f problems” .

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SQAMISH georgian sportsSquamish squad wins !

It was a great evening as the Georgian Squamish Squad seeked out a victory over a hew team from St. Hermas de Blainville Tech Friday night at the St. Hermas co­liseum. A spectacular crowd of over 37 people watched both teams run neck and neck until the 7th ogre. A score­less deadlock was broken when Plato Pigsby opened up the middle to let Aristotle Shwartz relay to Lance Lo- veguard who tip-toed in for the double durmish to win 2-0.

It was in the 3rd ogre that

Loveguard, in his ballet-like form, was sexually attacked by Willard LaPlouffe, a -Blainville player, whose eyes had been scratched out by the super sissy. Lance’s bo­som buddy, Romeo Letch, was heard as saying, “ I hope the savage gets pregnant.”

Referees Bert Flurter and Howard J. Ganglinger were . rather severe handing out 4 Georgian penalties to Ron Britz for manslaughter, Ha­litosis Horton for hiccups, Firstly Spencer for running on the blue line and Chumley

Froth Tettey Jr. for excess growth on his neck.

Off the Field... The Melrose Kigels celebrating their 5th, 7th child to be here soon... Sarmy Bagets recu­perating from tongue trans­plant. He is the team’s form­er speech therapist... Dag- mar Dorfman, an Austrian fugitive, is a prune pitter in the off season... Coach Veeblefetzer’s ex-wife, the former Laverne Shickergru- ber, to marry Henny Young- man’s brother-in-law, Earl. That’s Earl’s brother!

Eb Veeblefetzer

Ijoe

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Profile of Coach Ebenezer Veeblefetzer.

Coming to S.G.W.U. from the Yukon Yaks, Veeblefetzer is an experienced burply who frequently dabbles in brain surgery.

A graduate of P.S. I Love You, Ebenezer is a war ve- trenarian whose specialty was gorilla warfare.

Veeblefetzer spent 3 years

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in Dawson learning the ways of the antelope. It was here that he met his first wife, a mental escapée, Laverne Shickelgruber, whose father put holes in doughnuts. Mar­ried 58 months, they were divorced 2 years ago.

Last March, Veeblefetzer fell in love with Lucille Pum- pernick, a peeping-tom and all round yenta. The marria­ge lasted 4 days.

Presently an eligible ba­chelor, Veeblefetzer is look­ing for a big-breasted hussy who likes beans and prune danish. “ At least with her I’ll be kept on the run” says our coach.

A strict enforcer, Veeble­fetzer has the team strength­ening up by playing with their yo-yo’s and hulla hoops at 4 a.m.. When asked what he thought the team’s chances were, our coach replied, “ We certainly have a homy bunch of guys. They’re bound to win some games.”

Veeblefetzer, a man of strong determination and fall­en arches, hopes for a long stay with the Georgian squad.

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